Article history:

Received 15 November 2022

KMANPUB AI and Tech in Behavioral and Social Sciences Vol. 1 No. 1 (2023): 27-34 Revised 10 December 2022
Accepted 18 December 2022
Published online 01 January 2023

Digital Intimacy: How Technology Shapes Friendships and

Romantic Relationships

Kamdin Parsakia1 , Mehdi Rostami1*

1 Department of Psychology and Counseling, KMAN Research Institute, Richmond Hill, Ontario, Canada

* Corresponding author email address: mehdirostami@kmanresce.ca

A r t i c l e I n f o A B S T R A C T
Article type: The objective of this study is to investigate the dynamics of digital intimacy,
Original Research including how individuals use digital platforms to initiate, maintain, and navigate
their personal relationships. It seeks to identify the main themes related to digital
How to cite this article: intimacy, the challenges and benefits associated with it, and the strategies
Parsakia, K., & Rostami, M. (2023). individuals employ to manage their digital relationships. Employing a qualitative
Digital Intimacy: How Technology
research design, this study conducted semi-structured interviews with 28
Shapes Friendships and Romantic
participants divided into two groups: individuals involved in digital relationships
Relationships. AI and Tech in Behavioral
and Social Sciences, 1(1), 27-34. and professionals in the fields of psychology, sociology, and technology. The
https://doi.org/10.61838/kman.aitech.1.1.5 interviews were analyzed using thematic analysis to identify key themes and
categories related to digital intimacy. The study identified seven main themes
associated with digital intimacy: Formation of Digital Intimacy, Maintenance of
Relationships, Challenges of Digital Intimacy, Benefits of Digital Intimacy,
Navigating Digital and Offline Worlds, Evolution of Digital Intimacy, and
Characteristics of Digital Intimacy. These themes encompass various aspects of
© 2024 the authors. Published by KMAN
digital relationships, including the initiation and maintenance processes, the role of
Publication Inc. (KMANPUB), Ontario,
digital platforms in facilitating emotional connections, and the challenges of
Canada. This is an open access article
under the terms of the Creative Commons privacy, security, and miscommunication. Digital intimacy plays a significant role
Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 in shaping modern friendships and romantic relationships, offering both
International (CC BY-NC 4.0) License. opportunities and challenges. While digital platforms facilitate the formation and
maintenance of connections across distances, they also introduce complexities in
communication, privacy, and the integration of digital and offline lives.
Understanding these dynamics is essential for individuals and professionals
working to navigate the digital landscape of personal relationships.
Keywords: Digital Intimacy, Personal Relationships, Online Communication, Social Media,
Privacy.

1. Introduction mediates personal interactions, reshaping the landscape of

human connections in both visible and nuanced ways.

T he advent of the digital age has ushered in profound

changes in the way individuals form, maintain, and
Digital intimacy encapsulates the myriad ways in which
individuals leverage digital media platforms to exchange
understand relationships, giving rise to the concept of personal details, thoughts, and emotions, fostering
digital intimacy. This phenomenon has become a focal connections that transcend the limitations of physical
point for scholarly inquiry as technology increasingly proximity (Lupton, 2017). This evolution in relationship
 Parsakia & Rostami AI and Tech in Behavioral and Social Sciences 1:1 (2023) 27-34

dynamics prompts a reevaluation of intimacy in the digital trust and intimacy developed through digital means has
era, questioning the depth and authenticity of connections been emphasized (Lai & Fung, 2019). This highlights a
formed and maintained through screens. paradox at the heart of digital intimacy: while technology
The scholarly debate surrounding digital intimacy is enables connections that might otherwise be impossible, it
complex and multifaceted, touching on a variety of aspects also prompts a reconsideration of what constitutes genuine
from the transformation of social media platforms by intimacy. The evolution of friendship quality within digital
personal relationships to their role in creating new forms of spaces, particularly among adolescents, further illustrates
intimacy (Chambers, 2016). This discourse is not limited to how digital interactions mirror offline dynamics, including
romantic partnerships but extends to friendships and validation, conflict resolution, and intimacy (Angelini et
familial bonds, each affected differently by the digital al., 2022). This reflection of offline relationships in digital
revolution. The exploration of how LGBTQ+ youth utilize contexts underscores the adaptability of human connections
dating apps not just for romance but as a means of finding to technological advancements.
community and safety further illustrates the diverse Moreover, the exploration of digital platforms in
applications of digital platforms in forming intimate facilitating collaborative practices among employees and
connections (Byron et al., 2020). These digital intimate balancing work-family life dynamics illustrates the broader
publics serve as battlegrounds where social and sexual implications of digital intimacy beyond personal
communication practices intertwine, revealing the layered relationships (Leonardi et al., 2019). The orchestration of
complexities of digital intimacy. relationships in digital contexts reflects a broader societal
Another dimension of this discussion focuses on the role shift towards integrating technology into the fabric of daily
of algorithms and data analytics in shaping intimate life, blurring the lines between personal and professional
relationships. The notion that intimacy can be engineered spheres.
or enhanced through digital technologies highlights the In synthesizing these diverse perspectives, it becomes
intersection between human emotion and computational clear that digital intimacy is a multifaceted phenomenon
logic, offering insights into how personal connections that encompasses a wide range of human experiences.
evolve in an age of ubiquitous digital engagement (Wiehn, From fostering new forms of connection to reshaping
2022). This interplay between technology and intimacy existing relationships, technology plays a pivotal role in
raises critical questions about the authenticity and depth of defining the contours of intimacy in the 21st century. This
relationships fostered under the influence of algorithmic study aims to delve deeper into these dynamics, exploring
mediation. the complexities of digital intimacy through the lens of
The impact of digital technology extends beyond those who navigate its challenges and opportunities daily.
romantic and sexual relationships to influence the dynamics
of friendship and familial bonds. The study of international 2. Methods and Materials
students and transnational families has shed light on how
2.1. Study Design and Participants
digital media supports the maintenance of family
relationships across distances. Yet, the emotional richness This study employed a qualitative research design to
of friendships and the role of intimacy within support explore the nuances of digital intimacy and its impact on
networks often remain underexplored, suggesting a gap in friendships and romantic relationships. Our aim was to
our understanding of digital intimacy from a culturally understand the subjective experiences of individuals
comparative perspective (Sinanan & Gomes, 2020). navigating their personal connections through digital
Furthermore, the educative potential of digital intimacies, platforms and to gather insights from professionals in the
particularly in the realm of sex education and the field of psychology, sociology, and technology. By
negotiation of relationships among young people, focusing on qualitative data, we aimed to capture the depth
underscores the multifunctionality of digital platforms in and complexity of digital intimacy phenomena that
facilitating learning and exploration in intimate domains quantitative methods might overlook.
(Scott et al., 2020). Participants were recruited using a purposive sampling
As the digital realm becomes increasingly central to the technique to ensure a diverse representation of experiences
formation and sustenance of relationships, the importance with digital intimacy. The sample included individuals of
of face-to-face interactions in validating and deepening the varying ages, sexual orientations, relationship statuses, and

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cultural backgrounds. Inclusion criteria required "Could you walk me through the types of digital
participants to have had experience with maintaining interactions you engage in on a daily basis with your
friendships or romantic relationships through digital means friend/partner? How do these interactions contribute to
(e.g., social media, messaging apps, online dating your sense of closeness?"
platforms) for at least one year. Additionally, professionals "What are some of the most significant challenges
working within the realms of psychology, sociology, or you've faced in maintaining your relationship digitally?
technology and specializing in digital communication or How have you addressed these challenges?"
relationships were recruited to provide expert perspectives For professionals the questions were as follows:
on the phenomena under study. "From your professional perspective, how has digital
This study was conducted in accordance with ethical technology transformed the way individuals form and
guidelines for research involving human participants. Prior maintain intimate relationships?"
to participation, all individuals were provided with an "In your experience, what are the most impactful digital
information sheet detailing the study's purpose, the nature communication tools or platforms for fostering intimacy?
of their involvement, and the measures taken to protect Can you provide examples?"
their privacy and confidentiality. Informed consent was "What challenges have you observed individuals facing
obtained from all participants, and they were assured of in their digital relationships, and what advice do you
their right to withdraw from the study at any point without typically offer?"
consequence. Pseudonyms are used throughout the "How do you see the role of digital technology in
presentation of findings to maintain the anonymity of intimate relationships evolving in the future? Are there any
participants. emerging trends that concern or excite you?"
"Can you describe what privacy means to you in the
2.2. Data Collection context of social media? How do you define or understand
privacy when using these platforms?"
Data were collected through semi-structured interviews,
"Could you share a specific experience where you felt
allowing for both guided questions and the flexibility for
your privacy was at risk due to the information you shared
participants to share their experiences and insights freely.
on social media? How did you respond to this situation?"
The interview guide was developed based on a review of
"How do you manage your privacy settings on social
relevant literature and preliminary consultations with
media platforms? Can you walk me through the steps you
experts in related fields. Key areas of inquiry included the
take to adjust these settings and what factors influence
role of technology in initiating and maintaining
these decisions?"
relationships, perceived benefits and challenges of digital
"Have your concerns about privacy affected how you
intimacy, and strategies used to navigate digital and offline
use social media? For example, have you changed the type
boundaries. Interviews with professionals focused on their
of content you share, reduced your social media usage, or
observations of trends, psychological impacts, and the
taken any other actions as a result of privacy concerns?"
evolving nature of digital intimacy. All interviews were
"Looking forward, what changes or improvements
conducted virtually, using secure video conferencing tools,
would you like to see regarding privacy protection on
to accommodate the digital context of the study and the
social media platforms? Are there specific tools or policies
geographical diversity of the participants. Each interview
you think would help users better manage their privacy?"
lasted between 45 to 90 minutes and was audio-recorded
with the consent of the participants. For normal individuals
2.3. Data Analysis
the questions included:
"Can you describe how you first connected with your Audio recordings were transcribed verbatim, and the
friend/partner through digital platforms? What role did data were analyzed using thematic analysis. This involved a
these platforms play in the development of your detailed coding process, where initial codes were generated
relationship?" and then collated into potential themes. These themes were
"How do you build and maintain trust in a relationship reviewed and refined iteratively until a coherent pattern of
that is primarily maintained through digital means? Can findings emerged. The analysis aimed to reach theoretical
you share any specific practices or experiences?" saturation, where no new themes or insights were observed

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in the data, ensuring a comprehensive exploration of the backgrounds, including students, professionals, and
topic. creatives, ensuring a rich diversity of perspectives on
digital intimacy.
3. Findings The second group consisted of 10 professionals with
expertise in the fields of psychology, sociology, and digital
The study comprised two distinct groups of participants,
communication technologies, providing insightful
totaling 28 individuals. The first group included 18
professional perspectives on digital intimacy. This group
participants who are actively involved in friendships or
included 6 females and 4 males, with a broader age range
romantic relationships primarily maintained through digital
of 25 to 50 years, representing seasoned practitioners,
platforms. This group was diverse, consisting of 10 females
researchers, and thought leaders deeply engaged in the
and 8 males, with ages ranging from 18 to 35 years,
exploration of digital relationship dynamics.
reflecting a wide spectrum of digital communication
experiences. Participants in this group hailed from various

Table 1

The Results of Qualitative Analysis through Coding Process

Main Themes Categories Concepts

1. Formation of Digital Intimacy 1.1 Initial Connection Online dating platforms, Social media friendships
1.2 Communication Patterns Frequency of messaging, Types of platforms used, Emoji and GIFs
communication, Privacy settings
1.3 Building Trust Sharing personal stories, Digital gifts, Security measures
2. Maintenance of 2.1 Daily Interactions Digital routines, Emotional support, Sharing multimedia content
Relationships
2.2 Role of Digital Spaces Shared online activities, Private vs. public interaction
3. Challenges of Digital 3.1 Privacy and Security Data sharing concerns, Stalking, Digital footprint management, Encryption use
Intimacy
3.2 Emotional Disconnection Over-reliance on digital communication, Lack of physical cues
3.3 Boundary Management Work-life balance, Digital detox
3.4 Miscommunication Tone misinterpretations, Delayed responses
4. Benefits of Digital Intimacy 4.1 Accessibility and Inclusivity Long-distance connections, Disability access
4.2 Enhancing Emotional Bonds Instant support availability, Sharing digital content, Virtual companionship,
Memory sharing
5. Navigating Digital and 5.1 Blending Lives Integrating digital and physical aspects, Creating traditions, Online and offline
Offline Worlds anniversary celebrations
5.2 Managing Expectations Reality vs. online persona, Transition challenges
6. Evolution of Digital Intimacy 6.1 Changing Norms Shifts in communication etiquette, Evolving relationship definitions, Role of
social media
6.2 Technological Impact Influence of new platforms, Enhanced communication tools, Privacy and
security advancements
6.3 Adaptation Strategies Developing digital literacy, Setting boundaries, Cultivating resilience
7. Characteristics of Digital 7.1 Depth and Breadth of Varied communication channels, Emotional expressiveness
Intimacy Communication
7.2 Flexibility and Convenience Asynchronous communication, Ease of staying in touch
7.3 Public vs. Private Interactions Social media visibility, Private messaging dynamics
7.4 Autonomy and Interdependence Individual digital identities, Shared digital activities

Through qualitative analysis of semi-structured media friendships, where "the ease of initiating
interviews with involved individuals and professionals in conversations online made me more confident," one
the field, we've identified seven main themes that participant noted. The Communication Patterns that
encapsulate the essence of digital intimacy. develop subsequently are marked by diverse platforms
usage, from texts to video calls, highlighting the role of
3.1. Formation of Digital Intimacy "emojis and GIFs in expressing emotions we can't put into
words," another interviewee shared. Building Trust in these
The journey into digital intimacy often begins with an
nascent stages involves sharing personal stories and digital
Initial Connection through online dating platforms or social
gifts, with one respondent emphasizing, "Security measures

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on these platforms made me feel safer about who I was 3.7. Characteristics of Digital Intimacy
connecting with."
Our study elucidates specific Characteristics of Digital
3.2. Maintenance of Relationships Intimacy, including the depth and breadth of
communication facilitated by digital tools. Flexibility and
As digital relationships evolve, Daily Interactions Convenience stand out, allowing partners to stay connected
become a tapestry of digital routines and multimedia asynchronously. Yet, navigating the dynamics of Public vs.
content sharing, where one partner mentioned, "Sharing the Private Interactions and maintaining a balance between
mundane aspects of our day brings us closer, despite the Autonomy and Interdependence presents ongoing
physical distance." The Role of Digital Spaces in challenges. As one participant reflected, "Our shared digital
maintaining these connections is also crucial, serving as activities have become a cornerstone of our relationship,
venues for shared online activities and balancing private showcasing both our individuality and unity."
versus public interactions.
4. Discussion and Conclusion
3.3. Challenges of Digital Intimacy
This study aimed to explore the concept of digital
Participants reported several challenges, including intimacy, revealing how technology shapes and influences
concerns over Privacy and Security, where one lamented, friendships and romantic relationships. Through qualitative
"The fear of data breaches has made us cautious about what analysis, we identified key themes including the formation
we share." Emotional Disconnection and Boundary and maintenance of relationships through digital platforms,
Management were noted, with a participant stating, "It's the challenges and benefits of digital intimacy, and the
hard to read emotions through text, and misunderstandings nuanced characteristics of these digitally-mediated
happen more often than we'd like." Miscommunication also connections. Our findings highlight the complexity of
emerged as a significant hurdle, with delayed responses or navigating intimacy in the digital age, underscoring the
tone misinterpretations leading to conflicts. importance of communication patterns, trust-building,
privacy, and the balance between online and offline
3.4. Benefits of Digital Intimacy interactions.
Yet, the digital realm brings undeniable Benefits, In our qualitative exploration of digital intimacy and its
offering Accessibility and Inclusivity for long-distance impact on friendships and romantic relationships, we
partners and those with disabilities. It also Enhances identified seven main themes through semi-structured
Emotional Bonds, as one interviewee put it, "The ability to interviews with participants. These themes encapsulate the
send a message or share a photo instantly keeps our multifaceted nature of digital intimacy, ranging from the
connection alive." formation and maintenance of relationships to the
challenges and benefits that arise within digital contexts.
3.5. Navigating Digital and Offline Worlds The themes include Formation of Digital Intimacy,
Maintenance of Relationships, Challenges of Digital
The blending of Digital and Offline Worlds requires Intimacy, Benefits of Digital Intimacy, Navigating Digital
managing expectations between online personas and and Offline Worlds, Evolution of Digital Intimacy, and
reality, with couples finding ways to integrate their digital Characteristics of Digital Intimacy. Each theme is further
interactions with physical meetings. divided into categories, providing a detailed framework for
understanding the complexities of digital relationships.
3.6. Evolution of Digital Intimacy
The Formation of Digital Intimacy theme revealed how
As digital intimacy Evolves, changing norms and initial connections are fostered through digital platforms,
technological impacts influence how relationships are with categories highlighting Initial Connection,
defined and experienced. Participants highlighted the need Communication Patterns, and Building Trust. Participants
for Adaptation Strategies to navigate these changes, described using online dating platforms and social media to
emphasizing digital literacy and setting boundaries. meet new friends or romantic partners, emphasizing the
importance of frequent messaging and the use of emojis
and GIFs for emotional expression. Building trust in this

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digital landscape often involved sharing personal stories Lastly, the Characteristics of Digital Intimacy theme
and using digital gifts, underpinned by a reliance on revealed the Depth and Breadth of Communication,
platform security measures to safeguard these budding Flexibility and Convenience, Public vs. Private
connections. Interactions, and Autonomy and Interdependence. These
Under the Maintenance of Relationships theme, the categories encapsulated the various ways digital platforms
categories of Daily Interactions and Role of Digital Spaces enable diverse and expressive communication, offer
were prominent. Participants shared how digital routines convenience in maintaining connections, navigate the
and the sharing of multimedia content played a crucial role dynamics between public and private spaces, and balance
in their daily interactions, maintaining emotional bonds individual identity with shared digital activities.
across distances. The Role of Digital Spaces category The findings align with and are supported by a robust
revealed how shared online activities and the careful body of existing research, illuminating the complex
management of private versus public interactions helped dynamics of digital-mediated relationships. For example,
sustain these relationships. Angelini et al. (2022) underscored the pivotal role of social
The Challenges of Digital Intimacy theme encompassed media features, online social support, and e-motions in
categories such as Privacy and Security, Emotional shaping the quality of friendships during adolescence. Our
Disconnection, Boundary Management, and study echoes these findings, revealing how digital
Miscommunication. Concerns about data sharing and platforms serve as vital spaces for expressing and
digital footprint management were common, as were experiencing emotions, thus fostering deeper connections
challenges related to over-reliance on digital (Angelini et al., 2022). This resonates with participants'
communication leading to emotional disconnection. narratives about the importance of digital routines and
Participants discussed the difficulty of managing multimedia content sharing in maintaining daily
boundaries between digital and offline lives and the interactions, enhancing the emotional bonds that underpin
frequent misinterpretations and misunderstandings that digital intimacy.
arose from digital communication. Similarly, the exploration of LGBTQ+ young people's
In discussing the Benefits of Digital Intimacy, categories use of dating apps for friendship and safety by Byron et al.
included Accessibility and Inclusivity, and Enhancing (2020) complements our insights into the formation of
Emotional Bonds. Participants valued the ease of digital intimacy. Our findings highlight how digital
maintaining long-distance connections and the inclusivity platforms facilitate initial connections, offering unique
for individuals with disabilities. They also noted how opportunities for marginalized groups to form safe,
digital platforms facilitated instant support and supportive networks (Byron et al., 2020). This intersection
companionship, enhancing the emotional quality of their of social and sexual communication practices in digital
relationships. intimate publics suggests a broader reconfiguration of
The Navigating Digital and Offline Worlds theme intimacy, aligning with Chambers' (2016) concept of
focused on Blending Lives and Managing Expectations, networked intimacy and scalable sociality (Chambers,
with participants sharing how they integrated digital 2016).
interactions with physical meetings. The challenges of The impact of technology on couple relationships, as
aligning online personas with offline realities were also explored by Campbell and Murray (2015), also finds echo
discussed, highlighting the ongoing negotiation between in our study. The dual role of technology as both a
digital and physical presence in sustaining relationships. facilitator and a barrier to intimacy reflects the nuanced
The Evolution of Digital Intimacy theme explored the ways in which digital tools influence the development and
Changing Norms, Technological Impact, and Adaptation maintenance of romantic relationships. This duality is
Strategies categories. Participants reflected on how digital further exemplified by Garza et al. (2020), who examined
communication etiquette and relationship definitions have the intersection of intimacy, technology, and health,
evolved, noting the significant influence of new platforms revealing how technological interventions in health
and technologies. Adaptation strategies, such as developing management could impact relationship dynamics (Garza et
digital literacy and setting boundaries, were key to al., 2020).
navigating these changes. The findings extends to the broader societal impacts of
digital technology on relationships. For instance, the role of

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technology in enhancing employee performance (Imran et valuable insights into the ever-changing landscape of
al., 2014) and affecting customer satisfaction and business online privacy.
relationships (Ryding, 2010; Sanders, 2007) parallels our The study's findings have important implications for
findings on the professional perspectives towards digital social media platform developers and policymakers. There
intimacy. The technological orchestration of relationships, is a critical need for the development of more user-friendly
whether in personal, professional, or commercial contexts, privacy settings and tools that can help mitigate privacy
suggests a pervasive influence of digital tools across fatigue and empower users to manage their privacy more
various spheres of life. effectively. Educating users about privacy risks and
Furthermore, the exploration of privacy-enhancing protective strategies is also essential. For policymakers,
technology (Hasani et al., 2023) and its implications for these findings highlight the importance of developing
intimate relationships highlights a growing concern for regulations that ensure social media platforms uphold high
security and trust in the digital age. This concern is privacy standards, protecting users' personal information
mirrored in our study's emphasis on privacy, security, and from misuse.
trust-building in digital intimate relationships. The This study acknowledges several limitations. The
integration of technology in managing intimacy not only qualitative approach, while offering in-depth insights,
reshapes personal connections but also prompts critical limits the generalizability of the findings to broader
reflections on privacy, consent, and ethical technology use. populations. Additionally, the sample size and diversity,
The exploration of digital intimacy in this study although purposive, may not fully capture the wide range of
illuminates the intricate ways in which individuals use experiences and perspectives on digital intimacy. The
technology to forge and foster personal connections. Digital rapidly evolving nature of digital technology also means
platforms offer both opportunities and challenges, serving that the findings may not encompass emerging trends or
as tools for creating meaningful interactions while also platforms that could influence digital intimacy in
introducing potential for miscommunication and privacy unforeseen ways.
concerns. This dual nature of digital intimacy reflects the Future research should aim to broaden the scope of
evolving landscape of personal relationships, wherein inquiry into digital intimacy, incorporating larger and more
technology plays a pivotal role in shaping modern diverse samples to enhance the generalizability of the
connections. The study underscores the significance of findings. Longitudinal studies could provide valuable
understanding these dynamics to better navigate the insights into how digital intimacy evolves over time,
intersection of technology and intimacy in the digital era. particularly in response to technological advancements.
Furthermore, exploring the impact of emerging
5. Limitations and Suggestions technologies, such as augmented reality and artificial
intelligence, on intimate relationships could offer new
This study, while providing important insights, is not
perspectives on the future of digital connections.
without limitations. The sample size and demographic
For practitioners working in the fields of counseling,
diversity may limit the generalizability of the findings.
psychology, and relationship therapy, these findings
Moreover, the reliance on self-reported data might
underscore the importance of considering the role of digital
introduce bias in participants' responses about their privacy
technology in clients' relationships. Integrating discussions
concerns and behaviors. These limitations underscore the
on digital intimacy into therapeutic practices could help
need for cautious interpretation of the findings and their
individuals and couples navigate the complexities of their
application.
digital interactions more effectively. Moreover, this study
Future research should consider expanding the sample
highlights the need for digital literacy programs that
size and including a broader demographic to enhance the
educate individuals on managing privacy, security, and
generalizability of the findings. Longitudinal studies could
communication in online spaces, ultimately fostering
also offer deeper insights into how privacy concerns and
healthier and more fulfilling digital relationships.
protective behaviors evolve over time. Additionally,
exploring the impact of emerging social media platforms
Authors’ Contributions
and technologies on privacy concerns could provide

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All authors have contributed significantly to the research We would like to express our gratitude to all individuals
process and the development of the manuscript. helped us to do the project.

Declaration of Interest

The authors report no conflict of interest.

Declaration
Funding
In order to correct and improve the academic writing of
According to the authors, this article has no financial
our paper, we have used the language model ChatGPT.
support.

Transparency Statement
Ethical Considerations
Data are available for research purposes upon reasonable
In this research, ethical standards including obtaining
request to the corresponding author.
informed consent, ensuring privacy and confidentiality
were observed.
Acknowledgments

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