A String of Consequences

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/35878465.

Rating: General Audiences

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Categories: F/M, M/M
Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Relationships: Regulus Black/James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Regulus Black/James
Potter, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Regulus Black/Lily Evans Potter,
Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes
Characters: Regulus Black, James Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black, Remus
Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, Pandora Lovegood, Bartemius Crouch Jr., Evan
Rosier, Mary Macdonald, Marlene McKinnon, Dorcas Meadowes
Additional Tags: Fluff, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - No
Voldemort, POV Multiple, Sub-plots Galore, Sirius Black & Lily Evans
Potter Friendship, regulus black and pandora lovegood friendship, Plus-
Size Lily Evans Potter, Oblivious James Potter, Other Additional Tags to
Be Added, Sirius Black is a Good Brother, Implied/Referenced Child
Abuse, A teaspoon of angst
Language: English
Collections: harry and the marauders <3, marauders&hp, i've already read this
masterpieces, Harry Potter masterlist - read agains., When my bestie
need serotonin and dopamine, poly marauders fics, Recommendations
From Icarus, Fanfiction that just tickle my brain, hixpatch's all time
favorites, Magnolia's Favourite Fics, The Mars, marauders, Love these
stuff UwU, Noa's TBR, прочитано, peachyunies tbr, harry and his gay
dads
Stats: Published: 2021-12-22 Completed: 2022-06-11 Words: 164,536
Chapters: 30/30
 A String of Consequences
by semistrawberry

Summary

The brewing of amortentia in Regulus' potions class, creates a chain reaction few people
expected.

Notes

I do not support JKR or her bigoted views

 The Immoral Consequences of Brewing Amortentia
Chapter Summary

During his a potions class, Regulus lets slip something that would lead to unforeseen
consequences. Then he paints.

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

“You do not smell my perfume Potter,”

Regulus glanced up at Lily Evans for a moment. She was sitting next to him glaring at Potter.
Her red hair was pulled back into a plait but a few stands had fallen loose and framed her
face.

Potter was grinning back at her, stirring the potion that sat in front of him. “I’m sure I do, and
you had said you weren’t wearing perfume earlier right?”

Lily glared harder, “Amortentia does not smell explicitly like the individual, it merely
produces smells that would remind you of them,”

James’ face scrunched up, “that's stupid, it would be easier if it just smelled like them,”

Regulus sighed, going back to his notes. When he had been presented with the opportunity to
take potions, transfiguration, and divination at a higher level, he’d been quite excited. It
wasn’t common for students to take classes not in their year and his mother and father had
been very proud.

He doubted they’d be as proud if they knew he sat with a muggleborn, a werewolf, his blood
traitor brother, his blood traitor brothers friend, and James Potter. Granted, his parents didn't
know Remus Lupin was a werewolf, but still.

He didn’t know how he pulled such a short straw, but he was stuck with this group every
class. What was worse was only Lily was any good at potions, and they didn’t really talk
much. Difference in blood status and all that. He'd tried to put it aside to get things done but
she wasn't interested. He didn't exactly blame her. Still that meant he spent his classes rather
bored.

"Well if you know so much about the scent of Amortentia, why don't you tell me what you
smell?"

Lily sighed, but leaned in anyway, "I smell... oil paints, broom polish, and...?" She scrunched
up her nose.
"and?" Potter prompted

"fur," She said confused, "I can't tell what kind,"

James perked up at that and glanced at Sirius who leaned forward, a smirk across his face.

"maybe its dog fur?"

Lily shook her head, "I had a dog at home I know what dog fur smells like and this isn't it,"

"rat fur?"

Lily raised her eyebrow. "why would it be rat fur?"

Sirius grinned wickedly, "I'm not sure, maybe its a wolf?"

Regulus frowned at that. Did they think Lily's soulmate was Remus? Or were they just
teasing?

Lily shook her head again, "wolves would just smell the same as dogs right? I've never smelt
it before,"

Lily frowned "Hang on, I think it might be a deer? Like my Patronus,"

"maybe," Pettigrew agreed, "I have heard legends about patronus' being connected to who
you love,"

Lily shook her head a bit and smiled at the rest of the table, "what does everyone else smell?
We need to write it down it our notes,"

James sat forward, "I smell..." he sniffed the potion, "cigarettes, french wine, and something
else"

Sirius scoffed, "how do you even know its french?"

"whats this something else?" Peter asked at the same time

"I just know!" James winked, "its my instincts," He sighed, and sniffed the potion again, "I
can't place the third smell, its sweet, and I've smelt it before, but I'm not sure,"

Sirius laughed again and leaned towards the potions, "I'm sure your future partner will love
that you can't think of what they smell like. Right, well, its my turn. I smell parchment, wool
and-" he paused, a flush rising to his cheeks.

"what?" Pettigrew questioned.

Sirius mumbled something leaning back in his chair, avoiding looking at other people.

Pettigrew and Potter shared a glance.

"sorry we didn't hear you Padfoot," Potter leaned towards him.

"chocolate, the last thing I smell is chocolate," Sirius mumbled, barely audible.

Ah, that's why he was so shy about it.

He didn't really need to be. Remus Lupin wasn't even paying him attention, he was just
jotting down notes.

"that wasn't so hard was it Sirius?" Remus smiled down at Sirius, still painfully oblivious.

Regulus suppressed the urge to roll his eyes.

"I smell cigarettes as well, also leather and vinyl," Remus spoke methodically, oblivious to
the tense atmosphere around him.

Regulus really did roll his eyes this time. Of course they'd both miss the fact that they're in
love with the other one. In Sirius' defense, no one else seemed to notice Remus' obvious
confession.

"What do you smell, Peter?" Remus asked.

The small boy leaned forward, "um, mint I think? grass as well, freshly cut, and also rust.
That's really clear,"

"maybe you'll have a rusty lover?" James teased, nudging Sirius in the side.

Sirius still hadn't fully recovered from the chocolate debacle, but he forced a weak smile.

Pettigrew blushed, "that is not what it means,"

James laughed and kept teasing Peter. Regulus ignored him. Potter really was the most
annoying boy he'd ever had the misfortune of dealing with. He was barely tolerable on a good
day, and today was not a good day.

Regulus had skipped breakfast and lunch, he had gotten a letter from his mother late last
night, which meant he had slept horribly. Overall, he did not want to put up with Potter and
his immaturity.

"What about you Regulus?" James asked, a smirk dancing across his lips. Beside him, Sirius
perked up. Not even the realization that he was in love with Remus was enough to keep him
from teasing his little brother.

"Yeah, what do you smell Reggiekins?" Sirius sneered.

Regulus stared at them passively, he wouldn't give the idiots the satisfaction of an answer.

"I bet he smells blood and the torture screams of muggles," Sirius said cruelly, "the only thing
Regulus loves is making other people feel like shit,"

I love you, Regulus thought bitterly. For some awful reason, I still love you
Sirius' words had hurt, but not enough to crack his exterior.

Pettigrew frowned, "how would someone smell screaming?"

"its more of an abstract concept," James said, not taking his eyes off of Regulus. His gaze
was strange, he looked Regulus right in the eyes, without judgment or anger, just a strange
neutrality.

"its not a joke," Lily interrupted sharply, glaring at Sirius. "just tell us what you smell
Regulus,"

Regulus considered lying for a moment, but decided against it, "ash, violin music, and lilies,"
he sat back in his seat.

They were all looking at him. This would be a pain, he should have just lied.

"what?" he said dryly.

"lilies? really Reg? You're stooping that low to be an arse?"

"don't call me Reg, Sirius, and, for the record, me smelling lilies has nothing to do with
Evans. By that logic I would love every single person whose name was Lily,"

"he's right," Lily's voice squeaked out "It doesn't have anything to do with me,"

Regulus looked over at her. She had turned as red as her hair and she wasn't meeting Regulus'
eye.

Regulus sighed, he really should have just lied.

"how do you smell violin music?" Pettigrew mused, smoothing over the tension in the air
with his pointless blubbering.

The pointless blubbering did, however, give Regulus an exit to this conversation, "its more of
an abstract scent, you just instinctively know that's what it is. I don't know what lilies smell
like either, I just knew that that's what I was smelling,"

Remus leaned forward in his seat, frowning, "smelling abstract scents is rare isn't it? And if
its instinctive, shouldn't James be able to place his?"

Regulus shrugged, "I'm not sure. The instinct comes with the strength of the emotion towards
the person. If its not clear to you, maybe you don't love them that much,"

James scoffed, "that's preposterous, I love my future spouse tons,"

Regulus sighed, and rested his head back down on the desk. He very much wanted this class
to be over. He was very, very aware of Lily next to him.

The rest of the class passed as usual. Slughorn droned on for a bit about the uses of
Amortentia, Sirius and his useless friends made a few dumb jokes. Regulus tuned them out.
Really if this was what advanced potions was like, Regulus should have just stayed in his
year, the only person in this class who was any good at potions was Snape and Regulus did
not want to talk to him.

At least in his other class he had, Barty and Pandora. He smiled slightly at the thought of his
friends.

"Whats on your mind Reggiekins?" Regulus glanced up at Sirius.

His brother was prodding him in shoulder, a sneer across his face. Potter was standing next to
him, he was smirking as well.

"Nothing, and don't call me that,"

Sirius rolled his eyes, "Somethings got to be in that mind of yours. Mother dearest was
always going on about how brilliant you were,"

Regulus frowned and started putting his books away. Ever since arriving at Hogwarts, Sirius
had adopted a much more improper accent. It was infuriating. Regulus didn't mind it when
Evan spoke like that, but when Sirius did it, Sirius who had always been cruel to Kreacher
about his improper grammar, it bothered Regulus.

"Come on Reggiekins, tell your big brother whats goin' on with you,"

He didn't pronounce the "G" in "going", merlin, Regulus hated him.

"Why don't I guess? Prongs do you think Reggie is thinking about the torture of muggles? I
think that's the only thing that'll make em smile like he was,"

Potter put his hand on Sirius' shoulder, "don't joke about that Padfoot, remember what Evans
was saying" He spoke softly and Sirius face flushed a bit.

Regulus smirked,

See, he thought cruelly, you're just like me, you just like to pretend you aren't

Sirius swallowed harshly and glared at Regulus. Regulus sighed, he had finished packing up
his things, now he was just waiting for an out.

"Lucy?"

An airy voice floated into the classroom. Regulus' out had arrived in the form of Pandora
Lovegood.

She was standing at the door to the potions classroom, and she looked an absolute mess. She
had splatters of paint all over her overalls, her curly blond hair was tied up in a messy bun,
and she had a paintbrush in it. Her over-sized round glasses were tilted on her nose, they were
far too big for her and looked like they were going to fall off her face. Her eyes brightened
when they landed on Regulus.
"Lucy!" She darted towards him, grabbing his hand, "You promised me you'd come to the
kitchens after class remember? Also we were going to paint together but I already got
started," She smiled sheepishly up at him, "if you couldn't already tell,"

Regulus smiled. Pandora was adorable. Regulus was rather short, only 165 centimetres, but
Pandora was smaller, and she couldn't blame inbreeding like he could.

"I did assume that was what you were doing, and no I didn't forget," He grabbed his bag,
"Class only just ended, how did you get here so fast?"

"Magic," Pandora winked and Regulus smiled fondly at her.

"Sorry, 'scuse me, who is this? And who is Lucy?" Sirius interrupted accusingly. He was
staring at Pandora like she was covered in paint, which to be fair, she was.

"ah sorry!" Pandora rubbed the back of her head shyly then extended her hand towards Sirius,
"Pandora Lovegood, I'm a friend of Regulus'. Lucy is just my nickname for him. Were you
talking? I don't mean to steal him away,"

"I was just about to leave," Regulus grabbed Pandora's hand and started towards the door,
leaving behind a shocked Sirius. He felt a bit of pride at surprising his brother like that.

"Bye! Lovely to meet you!" Pandora called out behind her as she laughed, struggling to keep
up with Regulus.

He didn't slow down until he turned the corner to the stairway to the kitchens.

They ran into a few hufflepuffs as they made their way towards the kitchens and made idle
conversation. Pandora did most of the talking as per usual.

"You excited to see Kinsy again? She said last time that she had her gift ready for you,"

Regulus hummed, "yeah, i brought her something as well,"

Pandora smiled at him, she had a lopsided smile, like the left side of her lips were happier
than the right side. "You're too sweet Reg, you deny it, but you're soft on her,"

Regulus scoffed, "I am not 'soft on her', I'm just nice to her,"

Pandora laughed at that. They rounded a corner reaching the fruit bowl portrait. "Yes but I
can count on one hand the amount of people that you're nice to and all of them had to work
for it. Kinsy just got to be your friend,"

Regulus rolled his eyes as Pandora reached up to tickle the pear on the portrait. People did
not have to work to be his friend. He was very approachable. He just preferred to have a
small group of friends. Evan, Barty, Pandora, Kreacher, Kinsy. Why would he need anyone
else?

"Master Regulus! Mistress Pandora! Its lovely to see you again! Jiffy will get Kinsy for you,"
Regulus smiled at the elf, "thank you Jiffy, and you don't need to call us that, just our names
will do,"

Jiffy blushed, "of course, Jiffy just forgets sometimes, that's all,"

"Don't worry about it," Pandora reassured.

Jiffy went to the back of the kitchens and Regulus led Pandora to a corner with a few chairs
where they could sit down.

"How was your advanced potions class by the way?"

"same as always," Regulus fiddled with a piece of wood that was coming off the chair. He
used to pick at the skin around his nails when he was bored or anxious but his mother placed
a curse on him when he was younger to stop him from doing it. Whenever he tried to bite or
pick at his nails, he'd start to choke. His lungs would feel like they were filling with water.
He'd had to find different ways to fix the uncontrollable urge to pick.

"we brewed Amortentia, my brother was a prat, Slughorn was boring, nothing new. I honestly
just wish I'd stayed in our class. At least I had you and Barty there,"

Evan had dropped potions as soon as possible. He was much better at subjects that required
less patience.

Pandora scrunched her face up, "don't you think its strange they teach us such a horrible
potion? I mean they refused to teach us the Imperius curse because its immoral, but teach us
potions that can force people to do all sorts of things,"

Regulus hummed. He never thought about it much.

"You know children conceived under the effects of love potions can't feel love? And the act
of coupling with someone while they're under a love potion is classified as assault?"

Regulus raised his eyebrow at her, "yeah? maybe they shouldn't be teaching us then,"

Pandora nodded firmly, "the magic system that we exist in is severely immoral,"

She stared at him, her eyes wide. Barty liked to say that Pandora's stare was unnerving but
Regulus had never minded. He liked it when she looked right at him. She only did it rarely,
usually preferring to avoid eye contact, so when she did, Regulus liked to appreciate it.

They kept staring at each other

"hmm," She turned away from him, her eyes unfocusing, "oh look there's Kinsy,"

Regulus glanced behind him and saw the little elf bounding up to them.

"Hello Pandora! And Regulus! Kinsy had brought you a gift!"

"Hello Kinsy, its good to see you," Regulus smiled at the elf as she sat down next to them.
She had a poorly wrapped thing in her hands, it looked a bit like a bowl. "I brought you a gift
as well, I thought it was the least I could do with all you've helped us,"

Kinsy shook her head harshly at Regulus, "nonsense! Kinsy is happy to help Regulus and
Pandora with their escapades. Kinsy would have gotten something for Pandora if she had not
insisted to only give a gift to Regulus" She pushed the package into Regulus' hands, and
Regulus shot a glare at Pandora after muttering a thank you.

Pandora knew how much he hated receiving gifts. He just never knew how to react. When
receiving things at home, especially gifts, he was supposed to be muted, but apparently that
was in poor taste.

Pandora stuck her tongue out at him and he fought down a smile. No matter what, he couldn't
stay angry at Pandora.

When she'd forced herself into his life during their third year because he looked sad and
lonely in their shared Divination and Care of Magical Creatures classes. When she'd started
calling him Lucy because everyone called him Reg and she didn't want the second part of his
name to feel left out. When she'd started sitting with him at meals and subtly putting more
food on his plate so that he'd eat enough. When she'd started joining his visits to the kitchens,
which he never let people join.

Really, he should hate her. She wasn't in Slytherin, she was a half blood, she was a blood
traitor, she was strange. But he didn't. In fact, he loved her.

"go on Lucy, open your present," Pandora nudged his arm lightly, smiling up at him.

Regulus began to delicately unwrap the brown paper. He tried to do it gently for fear of
breaking whatever it was Kinsy had given him but his hands were shaking a bit. He should
really lay off the coffee.

The layers of brown peeled away to reveal exactly what Regulus had thought it would.

It was a bowl.

A lumpy, misshapen blue bowl with R, K, and P carved into the bottom of it. It was clearly
handmade- he saw a few distinctly finger shaped indents.

Regulus looked up at Kinsy. She was staring at him hesitantly, her eyes wide.

Regulus smiled at her, just a small one, "Thank you Kinsy, its lovely. Am I able to put things
in it or is it just decorative?"

"You can put things in it if you'd like! Kinsy would love to see Regulus use her gift,"

"I'll use it all the time," He meant it. As ugly and inconvenient it was, she'd made it herself.
She'd put time and effort into it. That meant a lot to Regulus.
"let me get you your gift," He rummaged through his bag, he hadn't wrapped his gift, but he
didn't think Kinsy would mind.

It was three small books, one was on grammar. Kinsy had confessed to Regulus she felt
rather insecure about her improper use of the first/third person and was working on correcting
the habit so he thought she might appreciate a book to help her. It was rather simple, but
complex enough to actually be of help.

The second book was on the history of house elves from the wizards perspective and the third
was about wizarding law. Kinsy and Regulus had been working together since last year to
discover way to better improve the working conditions of house elves. He had a copy of both
books in his room, but Kinsy could make use of these ones.

"I thought these could help with our projects, I didn't wrap them or anything, sorry," Regulus
handed the books over and Kinsy took them gingerly. Her eyes widened, and she looked back
up at Regulus. Her eyes had started to fill with tears.

Regulus felt panic begin to rush through him. This was why he hated gift giving, he was truly
horrible at it. He'd never been good at it, his parents just told him what they wanted, and
Sirius was never easy to buy for. He only ever wanted muggle things and when Regulus tried
to get him those things, his parents would just hit him.

"I'm sorry Kinsy! I didn't mean to upset you," Regulus reach out to her, trying for a
comforting pat on the back.

Kinsy gave a hiccup, she was rubbing her eyes roughly, "No! Regulus, Kinsy is just very
grateful, she did not think Regulus would remember her interest in grammar or law!"

Regulus exhaled, relieved. He really hadn't meant to upset Kinsy.

They stayed and chatted with the elf for a bit longer before Pandora began to look
periodically at the clock on the wall and nudge Regulus. It was 4:23, which meant Pandora
and Regulus needed to get going if they were going to be able to paint before supper.

"We should get going Kinsy, it was lovely catching up with you,"

Kinsy smiled at Regulus, "Of course! Kinsy is always happy to be spending time with her
friends!"

Pandora and Regulus left the kitchens, throwing a wave over their shoulders.

"I can't believe you said you were bad at gift giving, Kinsy was in tears with how grateful she
was,"

Regulus felt himself flush at her words and internally cursed his pale skin. "I'm not good at it,
I doubt Kinsy gets many gifts,"

Pandora hummed haphazardly, "well at least now I know that you're actually an amazing gift
giver and I need to step it up for Christmas,"
Regulus rolled his eyes at her. The gift giving today had been in preparation for Christmas.
Regulus had confessed his worry about presents to Pandora and Kinsy and they had
suggested that they have a practice round where Regulus and Kinsy gave each other presents.
He found it silly.

"Shut up Panda, we're almost there,"

She brightened at the nickname and Regulus felt a rush of pride. He'd originally started
calling her Panda as a way of getting back at her for calling him Lucy, but she'd liked it, so it
stuck.

They rounded the corner on the seventh floor that led to their painting room.

Elves called it "the Come and Go Room". Regulus didn't care what it was called, he just liked
it there.

We need a place to paint

He repeated the thought like a mantra in his head and a door began to appear in front of him.

Pandora stepped forward and twisted the knob, revealing their painting studio.

It was a small room, with natural lighting that came from nowhere as there were no windows
or doors. The walls were covered in paint splotches from Pandora's unusual methods of
artistry and there were unfinished and finished canvases hung up on the walls.

All of Regulus' painting were covered in a tarp, he assumed Pandora had done it earlier that
day so she didn't get any paint on them. She could have just done a charm, but she said it
interfered with her process.

"alright Lucy, ready to go?"

Regulus nodded, he never liked painting with other people around but, as per usual, Pandora
was the exception.

They both went to their easels. Regulus sat in front of his and continued on his sketch- he
preferred a much more controlled method compared to Pandora- and Pandora stood in front
of her canvas. She walked around it, not even picking up her brush for a good few minutes.
When she finally did, it was to move it out of the way. She just grabbed the paint, cut open
the bottom and threw it on her canvas.

Regulus kept working peacefully for a few minutes before Pandora sighed heavily behind
him.

"I'm not feeling inspired Lucy,"

"pity,"

Pandora huffed, making her way into Regulus' line of vision. She leaned on his canvas, it
didn't have any lasting effects, as he didn't have any paint on it, but still it earned her a glare.
"Off my portrait Panda, you may not be inspired but I am,"

She scrunched up her nose, but got off it. "What are you drawing?"

"Athena and Medusa,"

"Like the Greek ones?"

Regulus glared at her, "no," he said dryly, "they're Persian,"

"Really?" Pandora blinked, "I could've sworn they were greek,"

"they were, I was being sarcastic,"

"ah,"

Pandora stayed silent for a few more minutes but Regulus was acutely aware of her looking
at him working. He didn't mind having her there when she was painting as well, but he
absolutely despised having her there when she wasn't.

"Alright, what do you want?" He turned to her sharply and she brightened at the attention.

"Tell me about your potions class,"

Regulus sighed, "again? I already said, we brewed Amortentia and my brother was a prat,"

Pandora thought for a moment before her expression brightened, "I've got it! What did you
smell in your Amortentia?" She leaned towards him, her glasses were tilted on her face again.
She really needed to get them fitted properly to her face.

"Why do you want to know that?" He asked.

"cause its interesting," She shrugged, "you know I've read studies that argue that Amortentia
is a scam and the scents it picks are completely random,"

Regulus hummed absentmindedly and tried to avoid the question. It wasn't that he thought
anything of what he had smelt, but he was sure Pandora would. She was oddly perceptive and
very good at predicting things.

"come on Lucy! I'll stop bothering you if you do,"

Regulus perked up at that. He could deal with being psychoanalyzed if it meant he could
paint in peace.

"my notes are in my bag, you can look through them to find what I smelt,"

Pandora smiled and began to dig through Regulus' bag. She produced his potions notebook
and began to flip through it.

"ash, violin music, and lilies?"

 Regulus nodded looking at his painting. He didn't quite like the positioning of Athena. He
brought his pencil to the canvas again, he'd finish Medusa first, she was more work anyway.

"interesting, can I paint it?"

Regulus snapped his pencil at her words and stared at her.

Pandora wasn't looking at him, her face was still buried in the notebook. "actually can I paint
all of these? I think they'd make good paintings,"

Regulus sent a quick apology to the tolerable members of his table, like Lily Evans and Peter
Pettigrew, sometimes Remus Lupin.

"Sure Panda, but you can't keep the notebook"

"oh I know, hey, why are you so snarky in your notes?"

Regulus ran his hand over where his pencil had snapped on the canvas. An idea began to
form in the back of his mind. "I am not snarky,"

"you wrote 'potter doesn't know basic scents because he is an idiot' next to where James said
he smelt something sweet,"

Regulus sent her a quick glance, he'd forgotten he wrote that. "He doesn't,"

Pandora smiled at him then glanced at his canvas. "I like the smudge, you working with it?"

He hummed. "I think I'm going to work with charcoal, which I hate, but it'll look better,"

Pandora made a small sound but she was already walking back to her own canvas. She was
rather focused now, taking the old canvas off the easel and replacing it with a blank one.

Regulus smiled softly at her and went back to his work.

Chapter End Notes

No clue how long this is gonna be or how regularly I'm gonna update but please feel free
to critique in the comments. I am Canadian so I don't know much British slang or
terminology but I am trying my best.

I got the idea for Pandora calling Regulus Lucy from sylvia.stokes on tiktok.
 The Frustrating Consequences of Sibling Rivalry
Chapter Summary

James ponders potions

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

"Really! Lucy! He expects me to believe that bull," Sirius exhaled exasperated, he leaned
back onto the wall behind the bed. "its ridiculous. He-" He put an emphasis on that word, "is
not friends with Pandora Lovegood,"

James sighed, he really hated it when Sirius got like this. He'd been stuck on the topic of his
brother since they'd finished their potions class, every time James thought they might move
on into something more interesting, Sirius got back on it. James really just wanted to tell him
to shove off. Lily and the girls would be here in a minute and he was still complaining about
Regulus.

"Come on Padfoot, you've been on about Regulus ever since we got back from potions, can't
you shut up about him just for a little bit?"

Sometimes, James loved how blunt Peter was. It really could be a blessing in disguise.

"Fuck off Wormy, I dealt with your complaining about N.E.W.Ts even though they're a year
from now, and I deal with Moony every full moon, and I deal with Prongs lusting after
Evans. You can handle me complaining for one night," Sirius said haughtily.

"Yeah we can deal with it," James said, picking up a few things off the floor, how they
managed to get their room this messy even though the house elves cleaned weekly, James had
no idea. "But the girls'll be less tolerant. and I don't 'lust after Evans' my intentions towards
Lily are completely pure,"

"Ha! Hear that Lils? Jamie just wants to give you a hug and leave room for Jesus," Mary's
voice cut into their conversation. The girls all entered the room one after another.

First Mary came in, arm linked with Lily's and Marlene and Dorcas followed them. They
were holding hands and Marlene had a plaster across her cheek with a skull pattern on it.

"Who's Jesus?" Sirius frowned, "that your dad or something?"

Mary shook her head and flung herself down on one of the beds. James cringed a bit, he had
just made them up.
"No one, just some guy, big in the muggle world,"

"Like David Bowie?" Sirius asked.

Mary shared a knowing look with Lily, Dorcas, and Remus. They were the only four who
really knew anything about the muggle world. Dorcas and Remus were both raised by
muggle mothers, and Lily and Mary were both muggleborn.

"Yeah, he's something of a David Bowie, I'd say he's better though,"

Sirius laughed at that and sat back, "no ones better than Bowie,"

Lily laughed and went to sit down next to Mary. She sat down much more considerately, not
messing up the freshly made bed. Marlene and Dorcas both sat down where Sirius was with
Dorcas in the middle.

"Hey what happened to your cheek Marls?"

Marlene raised her hand to her cheek, sort of self consciously, "Hmm? Oh this, right. Rosier
gave it to me,"

Sirius sat up and James groaned internally. No matter what, when Sirius was in the mood to
talk about his brother, he'd find a way to involve him in the conversation.

"Rosier? Like Evan Rosier? Like Regulus' friend Evan Rosier? You want me to hit him?"

Marlene raised her eyebrows, "No? Rosier gave me the plaster. A couple Slytherins were out
on the pitch at the same time I was, he was among them. I fell, got a bit of a cut and he gave
this to me, said it matched my shirt,"

It did. She was wearing a black tee with a skull and roses on it, she had been wearing a
leather jacket but had taken it off when she entered the room and got comfortable.

"Rosier's usually a prat but he's harmless really,"

Sirius sank back down against the wall, clearly disappointed, "Why didn't you just go to
Pomfrey?"

Marlene scoffed, "for a cut? How fragile do you think I am? I wouldn't have even put on a
plaster if Rosier hadn't offered,"

James sat on his own bed, Moony and Pete were already there. Pete was sitting at the foot of
the bed, opening some chocolate frogs, Moony was sitting at the head, opening some of his
own. James grabbed some of Pete's- he wouldn't dare take Moony's- and sat down at the foot
next to Peter.

"Drop it Padfoot," He said, "Don't make a big deal out of nothing,"

"Shut up Prongs, is it a crime to be worried about my friends?"

"When you're using it as an excuse to complain about your brother? Yeah,"

"I don't need an excuse to complain about him. Just think of what he did to Lily in potions
today!"

Lily squawked from where she and Mary were curled up together, "Don't bring me into this
Sirius!"

Mary sat forward, alarmed, "What did he do? He didn't call you anything did he?"

"No! It was just-" Lily stopped herself to glare at Sirius, "God, I hate you Sirius," She took a
breath, "We brewed Amortentia and Regulus smelt lilies that's all,"

Ah right, James had forgotten about that.

James didn't know what to think about it. On one hand, there were thousands of people
named Lily, it meant nothing that Regulus had smelt them. One the other hand, James wanted
it to mean something. Because he had smelt lilies.

The something sweet he'd pretended he didn't recognize, they had been lilies. He'd lied
because he hadn't wanted to put Lily on the spot. But it meant something to him.

"Oooo!! Lily and Regulus! I hope your children get your eyes and his cheekbones," Mary
teased, poking a blushing Lily in the side.

"Mary! There will be no children! It meant nothing! I didn't smell anything related to him!"

"Actually," Peter mused, "You did smell broom polish and Regulus is a great seeker,"

James and Lily both glared at Peter.

"Pete!" James said, "are you trying to ruin my chances with Evans?" he turned to Lily,
playfully batting his eyes, "I also play Quidditch, and I can learn to paint,"

"Can we please move on from this?" Lily demanded. Mary shook her head forcefully and
began to drape herself across Lily's shoulders.

"Absolutely not. What you think I'm just gonna let one of best friends lose her chance with
Regulus Black?" She emphasized Regulus' name

"There is no chance!" Lily protested.

"Hang on," Sirius sat up again, letting Dorcas fall from where she had been leaning on his
shoulder. "Oops, sorry darling. Now why'd you say Regulus' name like that?"

Mary looked at him coyly, "What? Regulus is attractive. One of the most attractive boys in
the school actually,"

Sirius' mouth fell open. "He is not!"

"Yeah he is! Tell him Marls,"

Marlene nodded from her position on the bed. "Regulus has this sort of allure to him you
know? Its the badboy complex,"

James frowned at that. Regulus had neat notes, his hair was always tidy, his tie was always
proper, he was the opposite of a badboy.

"Regulus is not a badboy! I'm a badboy! He is an arse!"

Mary rolled her eyes at that, "First of all, can we stop saying badboy? Second, never refer to
yourself as that. Third, he's a different type of dangerous than you. He's like the forbidden
fruit in the Garden of Eden, you're like an item in the store that the cashier forgot to count so
now you technically just stole something," She sighed softly. Mary had become rather starry-
eyed.

"maybe we should be planning your children with Regulus instead of Lily's. You seem far
more interested in him," Peter said flatly.

"Oh shut up Peter,"

They moved on from the topic of Regulus after that, but James was rather stuck on him.

What had Mary meant?

Regulus was dangerous. He probably held the same ideals as his parents, which James knew
from Sirius' stories to be rather prejudiced. He associated with people known to practice the
dark arts. He was cold and calculating. He wasn't alluring at all.

James lay down on the bed next to Remus, resting his head on the other boy's chest. Remus
glanced at him suspiciously but James payed him no mind. His thoughts were still about
Regulus.

Perhaps it was his hair? He did have rather nice hair. It curled softly at the back of his head, it
was rather long as well, not like Sirius' but it did come down to his eyebrows in a middle
part. Maybe his eyes? James hadn't looked too closely but he knew they were grey. Were they
pretty? Could you lose yourself in them like you could with Lily's eyes? His hands maybe?
They were thin and he had long fingers, James remembered that from watching him take
notes.

What was it about Regulus that had girls so enamored?

"You alright Prongs?" Remus murmured softly. His hand was resting on James' chest, James
was very grateful of how indulgent his friends were with how clingy he was.

"yeah," He spoke at the same volume as Remus, everything seemed gentile and peaceful. He
vaguely heard Lily and Sirius arguing about something but couldn't be bothered to pay
attention. He was focused on Moony. "Just thinking that's all,"

Remus smiled fondly down at him, "well that's never good is it? About what?"
Regulus, and whats so pretty about him.

"Amortentia. You smelt some interesting stuff, so did Sirius"

Remus flushed a bit looking away from James, "No I didn't. Its nothing you or I didn't
already know and Sirius' Amortentia meant nothing,"

James hummed skeptically. He didn't think that but Remus clearly wasn't ready to open that
can of worms.

"Oi! You two joining us or are you just gonna cuddle?" The man in question's voice broke
through the peaceful atmosphere Remus and James had created.

James snapped his head up to look. Everyone was sat in a circle on the floor, a firewhiskey
bottle had been opened to share, Sirius had set up his record. It was looking to be a fun night.

"we're coming, just give us a minute,"

The rest of the night went by fine. They played a few meaningless party games that led to a
couple people getting drunk. Wormtail convinced them to play drunk chess which was boring
at the beginning but got progressively more entertaining as they added more ridiculous rules
and charmed the pieces to act out plays. James eventually decided to call it quits when the
black rook and the white bishop began to reenact the adventures of the great sorcerer Merlin.

He left his friends as discreetly as possible. He didn't think they'd notice seeing as Marlene
and Dorcas were on top of one another, Mary and Sirius were stratigizing against Peter in
chess, and Remus and Lily were in a meaningful discussion about something James could not
understand.

James slipped out of the room into the hallway. He hadn't had too much to drink honestly, but
he still appreciated being out of that sweaty room. He took a deep breath.

James loved his friends, he really did, but he also appreciated a bit of alone time every once
in a while. He wasn't alone for long however, as a few minutes after James had left the room,
Mary came out as well. He didn't really mind, Mary was good company.

"bloody rat and his bloody queen with her bloody book and-" She mumbled a bit more before
bumping into James. The short girl glanced up, surprised, but when she realized who she had
ran into, her eyes softened, "Ah, hey Jamie, didn't realize you were out here,"

James cringed a bit at the nickname- he had never been a Jamie kind of person- but smiled at
her anyway. He couldn't stay angry at Mary.

"yeah, wanted some air and to be alone for a bit, but feel free to stay, I don't mind the
company,"

Mary hummed, but put her finger up to her lips indicating that she'd be quiet.

James smiled down at her, ruffling her hair a bit. She scrunched her face up in a smile,
leaning into his touch. They stayed quiet for a minute and not for the first or last time, James
found himself appreciating his friends.

"Hey, Mary?" James frowned, remembering something from earlier that night.

"yeah? Are we not doing the quiet thing?"

"to be fair, I never told you to be quiet,"

"sure but you wanted to be alone, least I could do was simulate that,"

"I said I didn't mind your company," James protested. He hadn't meant to offend Mary at all,
in fact, he was quite happy she'd joined him, he liked Mary.

"i know Jamie, I'm just teasing," She smiled brightly at him, "Whats up?"

James chewed the bottom of his lip. He'd been thinking about this too much for it to be
passed of as normal behavior and he hadn't had enough alcohol to blame it on, but he just
couldn't get Regulus out of his head.

"What did you mean when you said Regulus was 'a forbidden fruit'?"

Mary leaned against the wall and tilted her head back looking to the ceiling, "its a muggle
thing, you wouldn't get it,"

"yeah I know, can you explain him in a different way?"

Mary glanced sideways at James. He gave her his best puppy-dog eyes, they weren't nearly as
good as Padfoot's but it did the trick.

"Ugh, you're such a pain. You're lucky I'm so nice," She sighed, "I'm not sure how to explain
it. Its like-" She cut herself off, clearly frustrated at her muddled brain.

"hey, its okay if you can't explain it," James touched her shoulder lightly. He wouldn't have
asked her if he thought Regulus was such a difficult topic

"Nah, its fine," She took a deep breath and continued, "Its like you know he's going to hurt
you. You know nothing can ever come from a relationship with him. So you tell yourself its
just fun! and you won't get attached, but then you do. And you were right from the beginning.
He breaks your heart, but you can ever let go of him, because you know you both still love
each other. Even when you think you've moved on, even when you have moved on. he'd still
be in the back of your mind. Regulus is a What If,"

James frowned at that. That didn't seem like something anyone would want. Why would you
aim for someone that you knew would break your heart? Who would want that? Did he want
that? Why couldn't he get Regulus out of his head? Was it the alcohol?

"Honestly James, it might just be his hair. He's got nice hair, when he gets it cut I bet he'll
lose all his charm,"
 James hummed, letting himself return to the quiet. He didn't think that was the case but he let
himself humour it. It was easier to believe that he couldn't stop thinking about Regulus
because the other boy had pretty hair rather than because he wanted his heart broken.

Chapter End Notes

short chapter today! Next POV will probably be Lily and then maybe some other POVs
to start off any subplots if the chapter is short.

Thanks so much for reading

 The Conflicting Consequences of James Potter
Chapter Summary

Lily recovers from the drinking, and grapples with her emotions

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

Everyday Lily woke up and was grateful for being a witch. On days like this, where if she
didn't have a pepper-up potion she'd be in bed with a pounding headache, she was extremely
grateful.

"Pass the jam, won't you Evans?"

Lily glared, but passed the jam to Sirius anyways.

"Would it kill you to say please every once in a while?"

Sirius returned her glare but it was without heat behind it. He was slouched over the wooden
breakfast table, sadly spooning porridge onto his plate.

"Maybe. I've never been polite,"

"You always say please when my mum asks," James interjected, he was sitting across from
Sirius and directly to Lily's right, rubbing circles into Mary's back. She hadn't had a pepper-
up potion until she'd already thrown up once, so she was still feeling rather grim.

"That's because your mum is an angel,"

Lily scoffed. She was going to have to meet Euphemia Potter one of these days. With how
much the boys sang her praises, Lily thought she must be the most amazing person in the
world.

James puffed up at Sirius' words, beaming with pride over his mother and Lily felt a smile
take over her features, then forced it down, focusing on her food.

If she told her younger self she'd be smiling warmly at thought of James Potter being a
momma's boy, she'd be so disappointed.

The truth was, as much as Lily was trying to push it down, she quite liked James. They'd had
a sort of friendship ever since fourth year because of how close Lily and Sirius had gotten,
and then got to know each other even better now that she and Remus were prefects together.
In fifth year, while she and Remus were doing rounds together, he'd told her a story. Remus
had said that every person that met James, had a moment, where they realized they would die
for him. Sometimes it took a while but eventually, everyone fell in love with James Potter at
least once.

Lily had been adamant that she would never. She was proven wrong less than a week later
when they'd had an astronomy project together and he had convinced her to sneak out to the
tower to look at the stars together. She'd ended up telling him about Petunia and all her sister
put her through and the moonlight had hit him beautifully and he'd said some silly joke and
smiled at her and she'd smiled back and suddenly knew exactly what Remus had meant.

Lily didn't think there was a single person James couldn't charm if he wanted to. He would
just need to be his brilliant self and the whole world would flock to his side.

But Lily didn't like him. Not one bit. They were friends, that's all. She'd held out against him
for this long, she could last another year and a half without falling in love with him.

James smiled at her, he had made some crack at Sirius' expense but he was smiling like he'd
told a joke only she understood.

Lily sighed softly, melting slightly under his gaze. This was going to be harder than expected.

"Lily? We should head to the meeting soon,"

Remus touched her shoulder lightly and she turned to him quickly.

"Of course, lets get going now," Lily stood up abruptly, silencing Remus' protests with a firm
grip on his forearm. She rushed out of the room, barely waving goodbye to her friends. She
was not going to fall in love with James Potter, absolutely not.

"Hey, Lily!" Remus protested. "slow down, merlin. We still have ages until we need to be
there, I was just being cautious, telling you we should go,"

Lily ignored him. The faster she walked away from the hall, the faster James' smile would
leave her mind.

"Lily! You're holding on tight! What kind of grip strength have you got, woman?!"

"Don't call me 'woman' Remus, its unbecoming and comes off as sexist,"

"Then let go of me! You're squashing my wrist,"

Lily sighed and let go. Remus slowed down immediately, rubbing his wrist and glaring at
Lily.

"What was that about?"

"Nothing," Lily mumbled. She glanced at the clock, they didn't have anything to be worried
about, but James had really thrown her off, which meant she was suddenly very stressed. "I
just don't want to be late that's all,"
Remus rolled his eyes and caught up to Lily, he had much longer legs than she did which
meant her quick walk was just a normal stride to him.

They arrived at the prefect lounge ten minutes in advance, no one else was there.

"told you there was nothing to be worried about, we are early, Lily,"

"I can see that Remus," she snapped, then took a breath, "sorry, just nervous,"

Remus sat down on one of the sofa's, he always sat in the corner if it wasn't taken. "Why?"

Lily sat down next to him. She was not about to tell Remus about James, he could not keep a
secret to save his life. "No special reason, maybe Pete's nervousness over N.E.W.Ts has
rubbed off on me,"

Remus scoffed and started picking absentmindedly at the pillow in his lap. "stop spending so
much time with him then, James thinks you like him,"

Lily frowned. It felt like everyone and their mother were obsessing over love and crushes and
it was not helping Lily's current problem. "Maybe I do, Peter is very likable,"

Remus outright laughed which Lily found mean but she let slide. She could not believe that
she used to think Remus was the nice marauder.

The kept chatting, and people began to file in. The Hufflepuff fifth year prefects came in and
waved shyly at Remus and Lily.

Lily couldn't remember their names, she thought one of them might be Johanna but she really
couldn't remember.

The room began to fill up and Lily heard Frank call for a head count.

"We're missing one Longbottom. A Ravenclaw it looks like?"

Remus and Lily both glanced towards the group of blue tied students, all of them were
glancing among themselves, clearly they didn't know who wasn't there either.

"Excuse me," from the back of the room, someone spoke, "Pandora is missing. Pandora
Lovegood,"

It was Regulus. He had his hand slightly raised and was leaning against the wall. As usual, he
was perfectly put together.

Lily scoffed inwardly, how Mary was interested in him in anyway was a mystery to her. He
was annoyingly perfect.

"Right, you know where she is?" Frank asked from the front of the room.

"Yeah, she's in a meeting with her teachers, she'll be here in a minute,"

"Great, thanks Black," Frank nodded and raised his voice addressing the crowd. "this is just a
quick meeting to discuss patrol partners. In the past we've done it based on house, but we've
decided to switch it up a bit this year,"

Lily and Remus shared a glance. Lily certainly wasn't looking forward to partnering with
some of the people in this room, and she didn't imagine Remus was either.

"It'll still be a bit house based. Here's how its split up..."

Frank went on but Lily began to tune him out. He wasn't saying anything relevant to her or
Remus so she didn't really care.

She glanced to the back of the room, a blond girl was standing next to Regulus. Lily
recognized her. She had come into potions yesterday and was generally a well known person
around Hogwarts.

Lily was not a judgmental person, and she scoffed at most of the rumors that flew around the
school. The rumors surrounding Pandora Lovegood were no exception. Although, knowing
that she was friends with Regulus was strange. They were an unlikely pair.

At a glance they were similar, they were both small and thin, with high cheeks bones and
curly hair, but the similarities ended there.

Regulus had black hair, Pandora had blond hair. Regulus had grey eyes, Pandora had blue
ones. Regulus' face was constantly neutral. Pandora was always smiling.

"This'll be us Lily, Group 3," Remus nudged her, pulling her attention back to Frank.

"For the Head Boy and Girl, we'll have Lucille and Martin from Hufflepuff. For the sixth
year prefects , we'll have Lily and Remus from Gryffindor,"

Lily smiled and waved at the Hufflepuff duo. Lucille waved back shyly and Martin followed,
though his wave was more confident.

"For the fifth year prefects, we'll have Pandora and Xenophilius from Ravenclaw, and
Regulus and Elizabeth from Slytherin. Group one, come on up, the rest of you are free to go
after you've organized with your group,"

Lily and Remus shared a glance and made their way over to Lucille and Martin. The fifth
years were already there, Regulus looked bored, but when did he not?

God, her luck really was awful.

"Okay, so Martin and I can come up with pairing and then give them to you tomorrow in the
library maybe at 1? Unless you guys already have people you want to go with?"

"We could just go by house?" The fifth year Slytherin girl, Elizabeth, offered.

"Weren't you listening Parkinson? We've got to partner with at least three different people,
not in our house," Regulus responded sharply.
The Slytherin girl flushed and looked down to her feet. Lily felt a bit bad for her and was
about to speak in her defense when Pandora beat her to it.

"You're so mean Lucy, I wasn't really listening either to be honest, Frank tends to drone," She
lowered her voice, smiling coyly like she was telling them some sordid secret.

"Anyways, its probably best if you come up with it, Lucy can be difficult to work with,"

Regulus glared at her but didn't protest. He just let out a huff of air and rolled his eyes.

"Right," Lucille said, "you guys can head out then,"

Lily and Remus waved goodbye and most of the group waved back, Xenophilius timidly, and
Regulus coldly. Elizabeth was the only one who didn't. She merely looked at them,
judgmentally, and turned on her heel, walking out the door, which was a bit awkward as Lily
and Remus were going the same way as her, so they just ended up following her.

They spent the rest of the day in the library before heading back to the common room.

"I'm telling you Lily, there's no chance I'm taking the head boy position if I'm offered,"

"Please Remus!" Lily pleaded. Remus was thinking of telling McGonagall he wasn't
interested in being head boy, which was fine. The boy had a lot on his plate. He was regularly
sick, his mum had cancer, he was top of his class, he was friends with Sirius. Lily could
understand that he wanted a bit of a break.

However he was adamant about who would take his place. Remus was convinced that James
would make a great head boy, and he was right, James was very responsible when he wanted
to be. But Lily could not be head girl with James as head boy, she just couldn't.

"You cannot make Potter head boy,"

"Why not?" Remus said sharply, "I thought you liked James, you know he'd be good at it,"

"I do like James! Its just-" Lily sighed frustratedly, she was not telling Remus about her
current predicament, absolutely not. "you're right. James would be a great choice," She
offered him a weak smile which he seemed to accept, albeit reluctantly.

They began to climb the steps to Gryffindor tower, they didn't talk much but Lily didn't mind.
She was enjoying the peace and quiet.

"Evans! Moony! Help settle a debate between McKinnon, MacDonald and I,"

Well, she had been enjoying the peace and quiet, until Sirius, Mary, and Marlene decided to
interrupt it.

"No, Remus doesn't get a say, he always sides with you when you look at him all sweet,"
Marlene protested, rushing up the stairs to catch up to Sirius who had just reached Lily and
Remus.
"Moony swears he'll be honest, doesn't he?" Sirius slung an arm over Remus' shoulder,
smiling up at him cockily.

"Of course,"

Sirius leaned into Remus, whispering something in his ear. Remus laughed at it and shoved
him off his shoulder.

"Fuck off Sirius," He was a bit red but Lily shrugged it off. Mary had come up on her side
and linked their arms together.

"Sirius and Marlene think they'll beat Slytherin, I think Daisy'll knock them off their
brooms,"

Daisy was a childhood friend of Mary's and she was in Slytherin. Specifically, she was
captain and Keeper of the Slytherin Quidditch team, a Slytherin prefect, and en route to
becoming minister of magic.

"Joston will not even touch us. She's nothing compared to Prongs, tell her Moony!"

"I am not getting involved," He went up to the fat lady, "juniper bush,"

The wall opened revealing James and Peter playing a game of chess.

Peter was winning- of course- and James looked just about ready to give up.

"Ah! Prongs!" Sirius bounded into the common room and James' gaze instantly brightened at
the sight of him.

"Padfoot! Help me beat Wormtail!"

Sirius made a face, he sat down on the sofa next to James and began to drape himself over his
friend. "how many times must we tell you to stop challenging Peter? He always wins,"

James groaned as Peter moved his rook to check James' king. "one of these days I'll beat
him," He moved his king.

"not today though," Peter moved his rook again, "checkmate in two. You resign,"

James groaned again and leaned into Sirius who gave him a comforting pat.

Mary sat down on James' other side smiling at Peter, "you must know how attractive it is
when you do that right?"

"Mary!" Peter exclaimed, he was blushing furiously, he always got like this when Mary was
feeling flirty, it was rather endearing Lily thought.

Why couldn't she be falling for Peter instead of James? That would have been so much better.

"Prongs, Wormy. We need you to settle an argument,"

"Oh we are not asking them! Of course they'll agree with you!" Mary protested. Lily sat
down on a large arm chair and Remus sat net to Sirius.

"No they will not! Prongs, Pete, do you think Gryffindor or Slytherin will win the next
Quidditch match?"

James frowned, "Gryffindor, obviously,"

Peter nodded, "is it even a question?"

"Yes!" Mary exclaimed, "Slytherin has Daisy! She's a much better keeper than yours. They
don't have chasers like you do, but they're not bad, and they have Regulus too!"

Sirius scoffed, he was still clinging onto James. Lily had been rather taken aback with how
affectionate the Marauders were. If they were next to each other, then they were touching
each other, sometimes it was just a pat on the back, other times they were completely
entangled.

Sirius and James especially, which had been surprising to Lily, were constantly clinging to
each other, though Remus and Peter weren't going to say no when when one of the others
held on.

"We are going to absolutely slaughter them, right McKinnon?"

"They'll be in shreds!" She said energetically, jumping up from her place next to the fire.

James let out a shout of encouragement and soon enough all the Quidditch fans were stood
up, jumping up and down, encouraging each other. Even Mary

Lily and Remus shared a glance. Neither of them would ever understand the love their friends
had for that ridiculous game.

Eventually they calmed down again, resting back in their positions.

Sirius curled into Remus this time though, and James laid his head down on Mary's lap.
Marlene stayed by the fire, next to Peter.

"alright, lets make this argument interesting," Mary said. She was running her hand through
James' hair and even though Lily knew it was entirely platonic, she felt a rush of jealousy.

No, she didn't. She wasn't jealous of Mary. She didn't want to run her hand through James'
hair. She wasn't falling for him, not one bit.

"How about, if Gryffindor wins, I'll kiss someone you want me to, and if Slytherin wins, you
two-" she gestured towards the couch, "will kiss someone I tell you to,"

"Two?" Remus asked, "I hope you're not lumping me into this,"

"No no, I meant James," She tugged on his hair lightly and made him wince a bit.
"Merlin Mary, careful with my hair. Plenty of girls would kill to be where you are,"

Like me

Lily stopped herself from thinking that immediately. She was not jealous, she did not want to
run her hand through James' hair. She wasn't falling for him.

"So? Do we have a deal?" Mary asked.

Sirius and James locked and nodded to each other.

"Sure," James said, "But why is Marlene not included?"

"Cause I have a girlfriend idiot, I'm not kissing anyone but her," She said proudly.

Just then, the girlfriend in question entered the room. Once Dorcas' eyes landed on Marlene,
they immediately brightened and she went over to her, waving a quick hello to everyone else.

"You guys are aware you'll be missing supper if you don't come down soon? I just came up to
grab Marls, but everyone's already eating,"

Lily glanced at the clock above the fireplace. She hadn't realized how late it was, Remus and
her had spent almost the whole day in the library studying, maybe Peters worry about
N.E.W.Ts was rubbing off on her.

"Lets get going," James got off of Mary's lap, his hair was more mussed up then usual due to
her playing with it. His glasses were a bit tilted on his face, and his cheeks red flushed from
the heat of the fireplace.

He smiled at Lily and reached out to her, offering her his hand to help her get up, "Can I be
any help to my darling Lily? You mustn't concern yourself with such things as walking or
standing up,"

Lily fought to keep her face in a frown but she was losing the fight and James' smile was
getting bigger the more she tried to hide her own.

"Piss off Potter, I can stand up on my own," she got up from the arm chair to prove her point.

"Sure, but you shouldn't have to! Actually..." His smile melted into a playful smirk as he
scooped Lily up in his arms, throwing her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

"Put me down Potter!" Lily screeched, but despite her best efforts she was smiling.

"Absolutely not! I will carry my fair maiden down to the great hall!"

With that he marched out the door, Lily still thrown over his shoulder.

The others followed and played into James' fantasy of being a knight rescuing his maiden.
Sirius was the king who sent James on the mission to rescue his daughter Lily, Mary was the
bedridden queen whose only wish was to see her daughter happy again, Remus was the wise
wizard who gave James the materials he needed to save Lily, Marlene was the witch who had
stolen Lily away, Peter was the dragon, and Dorcas was a gardener for some reason.

James did eventually put her down- just before they got to the great hall- sparing her the
embarrassment of being carried in by James Potter, but before he let her go in, he grabbed her
hand.

"Don't you have something you'd like to say to your savior, princess?" James got down on
one knee in front of her and kissed her hand, "Maybe a token of your gratitude?"

Then he winked. God, Lily was done for.

"Thank you Potter, for saving me from the big bad dragon Peter,"

James laughed and got up from the floor, "Yeah I'm sure he was terrifying," he said
sarcastically, "Pete wouldn't hurt a fly,"

"Probably because he'd be too scared of the fly," Sirius teased.

Ah right, Lily had forgotten they were all there, James had been very distracting.

"Hey! I'm not afraid of flies!"

"We know Pete," James soothed, "Sirius is just overcompensating cause he freaked out over
the spiders in our dormitory,"

"I am not! Moony!" Sirius whined and grabbed Remus' hand. "Those spiders were huge and
terrifying! Tell them Moony!"

The other boy rolled his eyes at Sirius' over dramatic antics and began to walk towards the
great hall. Mary, Marlene, and Dorcas had already gone in and the latter two were chatting at
the Gryffindor table. Lily couldn't see where Mary had gone.

"Why were there spiders in your dormitory? I thought they were charmed to be repelled from
the dorms" Lily asked Peter, James had gone forward to tease Sirius some more and Lily did
not want to get in the middle of it.

"Hmm? Oh, we had some Spider Jelly in there, they love that stuff, and we've had to undo a
lot of the charms on our dorm for pranks,"

Lily stared at Peter in awe. Every time she thought the Marauders couldn't surprise her
anymore, they proved her wrong. That was some very difficult and impressive magic.

Lily and Peter sat down at the table, Sirius and James were still bickering but Remus was
already loading up his plate with food.

She looked around, she'd meant to ask Mary about a charms essay they had to do, but she still
couldn't find her.
"Hey Marls?" Lily leaned over to grab her friends attention, "Where'd Mary go? Didn't she
come in with you and Dorcas?"

"she went to talk to her friend-" Marlene took a sip of her drink and gestured across the hall
with her fork, "-Daisy. The Slytherin keeper we were talking about earlier."

Lily craned her neck to look across the hall and spot Mary. After a bit of looking, she saw
her, a spot of red in the sea of green.

She was smiling brightly at a round faced dark skin girl Lily recognized from the few
Quidditch matches she'd been to. Lily's gaze drifted down then table and she saw a blue tie.

It was Pandora Lovegood and she was sitting next to Regulus. She vaguely recognized Barty
Crouch Jr, and Evan Rosier, and pointedly ignored Severus. Regulus didn't seem to be paying
any attention to them. He was listening intently to something Pandora was saying, his head
resting in his palm.

"Whatcha looking at Evans?" Sirius brought her attention back to the Gryffindor table and
she turned to look at him. He had stopped arguing with James, and James' seemed more
focused on making sure Remus was getting enough food.

"Just Mary, she's at Slytherin's table talking to her friend,"

Sirius peered over to the table when his gaze suddenly narrowed. "Is he being serious?
Honestly how petty," He sat back and began to prod at his food.

"What?" Lily asked, "Who's he?"

"Regulus, he's continuing the charade that he's friends with Pandora Lovegood,"

James groaned, seemingly happy with how much Remus had on his plate, "Come on Padfoot
not this again,"

Sirius glared at James, "Don't 'Padfoot' me Potter, something is up with him,"

"Actually," Remus interrupted, "I think they're just friends, they seemed close at today's
prefect meeting,"

Sirius gasped dramatically and sunk into Remus side, "Moony! You can't take his side!"

Remus rolled his eyes, shoving Sirius off his shoulder, "I'm not taking anyone's side, I just
think its immature to think he's out to get you,"

Sirius stiffened at that and narrowed his eyes, turning away from Remus and glaring at his
plate of food. Lily and James shared a glance.

Sometimes, Remus took it too far without even noticing, Sirius did it too, but Remus was the
one who really needed to get a handle on his temper.
They ate in silence for a bit, every attempt at conversation fizzling out quickly, when James
nudged Remus in the side and looked pointedly at Sirius.

Remus rolled his eyes and hardened his jaw, god he was stubborn.

Lily reached across the table as subtly as she could and grabbed Remus' hand. He looked at
her when she did and she sent a look towards Sirius.

He'd just been pushing food around on his plate instead of actually eating. When Remus
noticed that, he sighed and nudged Sirius in the side

"Alright lets hear your theory about Regulus, I still think they're friends but feel free to
convince me otherwise,"

Sirius looked him up and down, suspiciously but started talking anyway.

It wasn't an apology, it wasn't even particularly nice, but it was enough to make Sirius start
eating again which Lily took as a win. The rest of dinner went by peacefully, Sirius
complained about Regulus for a bit before James changed to topic to Quidditch. It was a
rather impressive transition on his part.

They were talking about James' possible career paths involving Quidditch- he was
considering playing for England's national team, and if not he was thinking about the
hollyhead harpies- when Mary came to sit down with them. At her side, was the Slytherin
from earlier that Lily knew to be called Daisy.

"Potter, do you know if the fields booked before the game tommorow? We want to get some
more practice in,"

James looked up and straightened his back. His signature smirk began to flit across his face,
it gave him a cocky air that Lily used to find repulsive but now thought of as endearing.

"Yeah Hufflepuff's got it I think,"

Daisy narrowed her eyes suspiciously, "I'm checking with McGonagall no matter what you
say you know?"

"I'm not a liar, Joston, check with her all you'd like,"

"Whatever," she turned to Mary, "See you later Sapling," She waved goodbye and left the
great hall.

A lot of people were heading out now, and those that weren't, were finishing up their meals.

"Sapling? Why does she call you that?" Sirius asked. He was glaring at Daisy's back as she
walked out.

"Because," Mary said exasperated, "Its cute. My dad's called me that since I was a kid, so its
what she knows me as, she rarely calls me Mary, says its too formal,"
Sirius turned his glare to Mary as Daisy had left the great hall, "its dumb, you-" He pointed
his finger at her accusingly which earned him a roll of Mary's eyes, "are fraternizing with the
enemy,"

"She's not the enemy, Black, she's Daisy,"

"She's a Slytherin!"

Mary looked at Lily, shaking her head. Her eyes seemed to say, 'get a load of this guy'.

"My 'horrible' Slytherin friend actually gave me some interesting information," She gestured
for everyone to lean in. Peter, Marlene and Dorcas had already left the hall, so it was just the
five of them.

"You're still stuck on Regulus and Pandora right?" Mary asked Sirius, who nodded
energetically.

James and Remus both groaned outwardly and Lily fought the urge to join them. She was
really quite done with talking about Regulus Black. He just kept coming up these days.

"well, apparently, she eats with him everyday. She's in their common room all the time as
well. People even think they're dating with how often she's in his dormitory,"

Lily looked at Sirius, his face was melting, this was clearly not the news he'd wanted to hear.

"She's friends with his friends too, Rosier and Crouch I mean, but only through Regulus,"

Sirius sat back in his chair, pouting, "Great thanks Mary," He said dryly, "That was totally
worth you consorting with the enemy,"

"I didn't exactly do it for you, I'm rather interested in your brother myself," She said coldly
then stood up quickly, "Bye Lily, Remus, and James. Sirius, you can fuck off,"

"Oh shove it Mary!" Sirius yelled after her, drawing a few looks from the people still in the
hall, "bloody hell, she's a piece of work," He mumbled into his food.

It was clear to everyone the table, Sirius was done with his food for today.

"That wasn't kind Padfoot," James said gently, reaching over Remus to pat Sirius lightly on
the arm, "Joston isn't that bad and she's Mary's friend. Mary was just trying to help you,"

"Whatever Prongs," He grumbled, "Can we go now? I don't to be here," He was glaring at the
Slytherin table and Lily glanced at it.

Regulus was still chatting with Pandora, she was waving her hands dramatically and talking
animatedly. Severus had left, but Crouch and Rosier were still there although they seemed
much more bored than Regulus.

"I'll head up with you Sirius," Remus said, his plate had been entirely cleared despite the
amount James had piled on.
"We'll all go up, unless you wanted to stay here Lily?" James asked kindly. It was clearly an
offer to stay with her if she wanted to, but she shook her head. She had wanted a bit more, but
there was no chance she'd last if she was left alone with James.

"I'm finished, got some more studying to do anyway,"

The corner of James' mouth quirked up, "Yeah? Maybe I could study with you? What have
you got?"

Lily bit her cheek hesitantly, charms and divination, and James wasn't in the latter so that's
what she said.

"Ah, I've got potions, I'm rubbish at it," James started following Sirius and Remus. They
were a bit ahead of Lily and James, Lily briefly wondered if that was by design. "I was
thinking of asking Wormtail for help but I don't want to stress him out,"

Lily hummed. She thought it was a bit selfish that Peter and Sirius and Remus all asked
James for study help but they never helped him, but it wasn't any of her business.

They walked in the quiet and distantly Lily heard Remus and Sirius bickering, but when were
they not? She was mostly focused on keeping her thoughts in check.

"Hey," James nudged her, smiling down at her, "Want me to carry you again Princess?"

Lily blushed and looked away from him, "I'm fine, thanks Potter,"

"Just checking, you never know when you need a brave knight to keep you safe,"

Lily laughed softly, "You are ridiculous James Potter,"

"You love me though,"

Of course I do, how can I not?

"I only tolerate you because we have mutual friends, don't get too comfortable,"

James feigned being wounded clutching his chest dramatically, "Lily! You wound me!"

Lily laughed again as they reached the portrait and she said the password.

"I mean it Evans, you've got to tell me you love me or I'll go back to pestering you in class
and making love confessions on the table,"

"Oh god, anything but that,"

"You know how to make it not happen," James grinned at her, "Tell me you love me,"

Lily pressed her lips together, she was not going to smile at his antics.

He was grinning down at her, like he already knew he'd won, and he had.
 "I love you James Potter, now promise me- no more confessions on the table,"

James let out a whoop and pumped his fist in the air much to Lily's embarrassment, "I
promise Evans, I will not confess to you on any tables,"

"Thanks Potter, goodnight,"

"Night Lily," He waved goodbye to her as he went up to his dorm and she went to hers.

One short conversation with James and Lily was already smitten. She could barely keep his
smile from her thoughts.

Oh God, she thought, I really am in love with James Potter

Chapter End Notes

Longer chapter today, and our first Lily pov!

Definitely going to start more subplots with characters apart from Regulus, James, and
Lily but they'll keep being the focus.

Couple things I wanted to address, I will explain why Pandora's last name is Lovegood
even though she's not married, and also, please let me know if you think I should tag
Implied/referenced Eating Disorder because its barely there but was in my mind for
Regulus and Sirius when I was writing them
 The Exhilarating Consequences of Quidditch
Chapter Summary

Quidditch, confusion, and also prefect rounds

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

It was the morning of the Slytherin vs Gryffindor match. Currently, Slytherin was winning,
Gryffindor was in third, Hufflepuff was in second, and Ravenclaw was in last. Even if
Slytherin lost, they'd only be down to second, but their captain, Daisy Joston was especially
adamant about winning.

"Mary tells me there's a bet going on about the winner of today's match and I'm not about to
let her down," Daisy said, "Eat properly Regulus, I'm not having my Seeker under perform
because he didn't have enough breakfast,"

Regulus glared at her, but shoveled more sausages onto his plate.

"Chin up, Reg," Evan patted him on the back, smirking. He was very clearly enjoying the fact
that Barty and Regulus were stressed out of their minds about this match and all he was
losing was some house pride. "If you lose, you're only letting down the entire house,"

Regulus glared harder than he had been before, "Why am I even friends with you?"

"I dunno mate, something to do with family allegiance and us both being purebloods from
pretentious families,"

Regulus turned back to his breakfast, mostly to hide his smile from Evan. His friend had a bit
of a bad reputation, mostly because he was generally an arse to everyone that tried to talk to
him, but he was actually not a bad friend. Well he was, but Regulus could put up with bad
friends when they were entertaining.

"Morning Lucy! Are you anxious for today's game?"

Pandora sat down across from him, next to Barty. She was wearing a woolly sweater, mittens,
a hat, and a knit green and blue scarf.

"What? No 'morning' for Barty and I? Don't you like us Dora?"

Pandora smiled at Evan, "Good morning Evan and Barty, how are you?"

"Would have been better if I hadn't had to ask you to wish me a good morning,"
This was what Regulus had meant when he'd said Evan was a bad friend, but an entertaining
one. He was a prat, and annoying as well, but Regulus liked him anyways.

"For the record Pandora, I didn't ask you to say good morning," Barty said, "I was perfectly
happy being the third wheel in your and Regulus' strange relationship,"

Pandora frowned slightly, "but there's four of us," She counted the people at their section of
the table, "Yeah four, you'd be a fourth wheel, which doesn't hold the same connotations, as
the fourth wheel is needed to make the automobile work. Don't you learn anything in muggle
studies?"

Barty raised his eyebrow at Pandora and shared a glance with Evan and Regulus, "I'm not in
muggle studies Dora, don't really care about them,"

Pandora's frown deepened, "That's silly, muggles have made amazing technological
advancements that mimic the abilities of magic without the use of magic, we're an extremely
primitive and underdeveloped species compared to them,"

Pandora started going on a tangent, but Regulus ignored her. Barty and Evan listened but it
was clearly a joke on their part. Regulus felt a bit bad about ignoring her but he simply
couldn't afford to be seen listening to such things. If is mother looked in his head and found
out, Pandora would be lucky to still be alive.

"Crouch! Black! Get a move on!" Daisy's harsh voice interrupted Pandora, and Regulus got
up quickly.

"Come on Barty. We'll see you later, Evan. Pandora, I'll see you in the library later right?"

Pandora nodded and waved goodbye as they left the great hall. The Gryffindor team had
already left which Regulus imagined was Daisy's reason for their own abrupt departure.

Time passed quickly as the match got closer and closer. It was set to take place at 11, which
would give Regulus ample time to catch the snitch and get to the library for one o'clock to
discuss prefect pairs.

"Alright, I've got quite a bit on the line here so you lot better not disappoint," Daisy had them
huddled in a circle, her coily hair was in a tight bun, and she looked rather professional.

"Taylors, Chiswick, Prince, Gryfindor's Keeper is weak on his left side, so aim for there but
don't hesitate to take a shot elsewhere if the opportunity arises. Mulciber, Crouch, aim those
bludgers for Potter, he's their best so keep him away from the quaffle. Crouch, once Regulus
spots the snitch, you're on Regulus duty. You don't let a single thing touch him unless its
small and yellow. Black-"

Regulus tensed when she said his last name.

"just stay out of trouble until you see the snitch. You're faster than their Seeker and a better
flyer as well,"

She took a breath and surveyed their little circle, "Win, no matter how, just win,"
"Aye, aye captain," Barty said dryly, which earned him a smack from one of their Chasers,
Florence Taylors.

"Don't be a prat Crouch, Daisy's doing her best to be supportive,"

"Shut up, they're calling us now,"

Regulus took his place at the back of the line. He could hear the commentator riling the
crowd up and he started to pick at the skin around his fingernails.

"Lets introduce the Slytherin team!"

Daisy sent one last glare at her team before stepping out.

"The captain and Keeper! Daisy Joston! The Chasers! Florence Taylors, Aurora Prince, and
Leo Chiswick! The Beaters! Mark Mulciber and Barty Crouch Junior!"

Barty sent a small wave to Regulus just before he flew out and Regulus smiled, offering his
support. Barty didn't like to show it, but he was just as anxious as Regulus when it came to
Quidditch.

"And finally, the Seeker!"

Regulus stepped out of the tent and mounted his broom. The cheers from all around him were
deafening, he could barely hear himself think.

"Regulus Black!"

Regulus smiled softly, letting the thrill of Quidditch take over him for a moment. There was
nothing quite like it. The weightlessness of being on a broom, the noise of the crowd, the feel
of the broom under his fingers. Suddenly, all his nervousness was gone, replaced with a thirst
to fly, to go so high into the sky that he could no longer breath.

Regulus let his smile widen, and took his place above everyone else. Muggles would never
understand this. The freedom that came with flying was incomparable.

"Gryffindor Keeper, Frank Longbottom! Gryffindor Chasers, Alice Fortescue, Jasper

Lionsmane, and captain James Potter!"

The screams got louder when James came out, and Regulus rolled his eyes. Potter was truly
insufferable, how people found him charming he would never know.

"Beaters! Sirius Black and Marlene McKinnon!"

Regulus stiffened at the sight of his brother. There was something different about seeing him
on the pitch versus in a classroom. Here, Regulus couldn't bare to keep up appearances.

Flying was the one time he felt safe, the one place where anyone could ask him anything and
he'd answer truthfully no matter what, the one place where he wasn't Regulus Black, heir to
the Black family. Regulus Black, pureblood. Regulus Black, Sirius's younger brother. He was
just himself.

When he was just himself, he was often very forgiving of his brothers betrayal.

"And Seeker George Horwell!"

The Gryffindor Seeker flew to match Regulus' height. He was a scrawny fourth year, Regulus
didn't think he was that good of a seeker either. Maybe Gryffindor was running out of
options.

"And the Snitch is in the air!"

Regulus didn't bother trying to keep track of it, it moved far too fast, but the other seeker tried
to track it with his eyes, quickly losing sight of the golden ball.

"The Bludgers are out!"

Regulus glanced at Barty, he was floating just underneath him and to his right. Mulciber was
on Regulus' left and underneath him. Regulus was rather grateful that Barty was in charge of
keeping him safe this game, Mulciber was usually shit at it.

"And the Quaffle is up! The game has begun!"

Immediately Regulus shot up above the pitch. Once he deemed himself high enough, he
started to glance around the pitch for the gleam of the Snitch.

Below him, Florence had gotten the Quaffle, Leo was to her right, but Potter was right behind
her and he was gaining fast.

"Florence Taylors passes the Quaffle to Leo Chiswick, just barely avoiding a nasty steal from
James Potter!"

Regulus smirked, allowing himself to feel triumph for a moment when a crack sounded out.
Regulus recognized it as the sound of a bat hitting a Bludger.

Sirius had smacked one right towards Leo, luckily, he managed to dodge it and shoot the
Quaffle.

"Saved by Gryffindor Keeper Frank Longbottom! He's throw it and Alice Fortescue has
caught it,"

Regulus groaned, Gryffindor had strong chaser's this year and no one on Slytherin really
stood a chance.

As the game continued, Regulus had a few moments where he thought he saw the Snitch but
lost it just as quickly. Gryffindor was winning 60-20 and Regulus could feel Daisy's
frustration growing.
Regulus glanced around the pitch. Potter had the Quaffle, Florence and Aurora were tailing
him but McKinnon was hitting a Bludger their way.

He looked out to the stands and saw Evan and Pandora. Pandora was, predictably, not in the
Ravenclaw stands. She looked to be chatting Evan's ear off and he was smiling down at her
softly.

Regulus smiled before it dropped suddenly.

Just for a second, a flash of gold caught Regulus' eye. It was slight, but Regulus was sure he'd
seen it. The snitch was following James Potter, who was ducking and weaving around
players.

Regulus dove towards him, he vaguely registered Horwell behind him, as well as a Barty
who had begun to fly just above him, but he payed them no mind.

He caught up quickly to Potter, the snitch had passed the older boy and was flying just out of
Regulus' reach. He knew there was no way Horwell would catch it, all that mattered was that
Regulus caught it.

"What are you doing Regulus!?" Potter yelled, he hadn't seen the snitch right in front of him
which made Regulus momentarily loose his focus in amusement. Potter could never be
anything but a Chaser.

Regulus reached his arm out, his fingertips were barely grazing the cool metal of the snitch.
He could practically taste victory, felt the adrenaline that came with a win start to rush
through his veins. He and Potter were basically pressing up against each other, Regulus had
to be there in order to catch it.

He felt himself lean a bit into Potter and as his finger finally clamped down on the snitch, he
leaned over just a bit too far, and tumbled off his broom.

This would have been fine- he'd fallen off his broom plenty of times and they were close to
the ground- if he did not take James down with him. Potter had long since let go of the
Quaffle, but it didn't make their descent any easier.

The world seemed to slow around Regulus. The freedom that came with flying on a broom
was only ever matched by the familiar fear that came with falling. He clutched the Snitch and
felt the wind whip around him.

It was a short fall, they weren't actually too far from the ground, and the impact was
significantly softened by Potter.

Regulus landed directly on top of him, chest to chest. Potter let out a loud groan at the impact
but Regulus payed him no mind.

Regulus sat up quickly, his legs straddling Potters hips and glanced at his right hand, the
snitch was still resting in his palm. He'd caught it.
Regulus laughed softly and let himself lie down, his head resting on Potter's chest, just for a
moment.

"Regulus!"

It was Daisy's voice, he sat up to look to his right, where her voice was coming from. She and
Sirius were both rushing towards him.

"Regulus! Did you catch it!? Did you get it Regulus?!" Daisy yelled frantically.

Regulus nodded at her, a shout of triumph on his lips but his attention was pulled away by
someones hands on his hips.

He looked down, surprised, to see James smiling up at him, his hands on Regulus' waist,
"Mind getting off me Reg? Not that I mind, its just, we are in public,"

He winked, the bastard had the nerve to wink.

Regulus glared at him but he didn't think Potter took him very seriously as his face had
flushed completely red.

"Don't call me Reg," He said coldly, but rolled quickly off of James just as Sirius and Daisy
reached them.

"Are you alright?" Sirius demanded, grabbing James by the shoulder and looking him up and
down.

Ah, right, of course, James.

Regulus felt his heart sink. Briefly, he registered Daisy pulling him into a hug, a few other
people surrounding him and congratulating him, Barty ruffling his hair, but his eyes stayed on
his brother.

Sirius' back was turned to him, he was supporting James' weight and walking forlornly back
to his team.

It was silly and naive of Regulus to expect Sirius to be happy for him, to be proud. His
brother had never been proud of him, not once.

Regulus wiped sweat from his brow, and pretended like he wasn't wiping tears away as well.
He didn't want to people to know he was upset.

Daisy led him to the change rooms, patting him on the back and congratulating him the
whole way. Everyone's voice felt muted, even his own responses were methodical and
practiced. He cycled through the same few phrases until he and Barty were leaving the
change rooms.

"Alright whats wrong with you? You've been off since the game ended," Barty nudged him
slightly as they walked towards the library. Regulus had told Pandora he'd meet her there.
"I'm fine, just-" He cut himself off. He wasn't on the pitch anymore. He wasn't allowed to be
Regulus. He was Regulus Black, heir to the Black family.

"Just?" Barty prompted.

"I didn't eat enough this morning," he lied, offering Barty a reassuring smile, "I'll be fine,"

Barty frowned but didn't push. That was something Regulus appreciated about Barty, he
knew when to call it off, when not to push. He wished all of his friends knew when he didn't
want to talk about something.

They arrived at the library, and Regulus spotted Pandora and Evan, which was surprising as
the latter tended to avoid the library under all circumstances. Another boy was sitting with
them, Regulus recognized him from a few places.

"Regulus! Good job at the match today! You as well Barty! Although, the violent nature of
your role does make me question the ethical implication of allowing children to play this
game,"

Barty sat down across from Pandora and winked at her. It reminded Regulus of Potter and he
blushed at the memory.

"there's no place for ethics on the Quidditch pitch Dora. Now, who's the chump?" Barty
nudged the boy who was sitting next to Pandora.

Regulus knew him from various family functions and from Narcissa's marriage. He was also
a prefect for Ravenclaw house.

"Xenophilius Malfoy, right? Regulus asked taking the seat in between Evan and Barty, "I
haven't seen you in some time. Our families know each other, my cousin married his," he
explained to the others.

Xenophilius glanced down at the table and mumbled something, then he cleared his throat
and turned his pale, unnerving eyes onto Regulus, "I'm not a Malfoy, I'm just Xenophilius
now. I'm-" He cut himself off and looked at the table again. "I'm disowned,"

Regulus glanced at Evan knowingly. So it was true.

The Malfoy family had been rather quiet recently, Regulus had tried to ask Narcissa about it
but she'd just said everything was fine. It had been quite the uproar, when Xenophilius was
sorted into Ravenclaw instead of Slytherin, not nearly as bad as when Sirius had been sorted,
of course, but it was still a scandal.

Everyone had known he would most likely be disowned- honestly he was lucky he wasn't
dead- it was just that nothing had been confirmed. Now that it was, Regulus could get a
beating for being around him.

"Philly needed some help with divination and I know you're brilliant at that Lucy, so I
thought I'd ask you," Pandora looked at him, she clearly had no idea what was going on and
Regulus hesitated. He glanced at Evan. His friend shook his head slightly, they both knew it
was dangerous.

Xenophilius wasn't meeting his eye, he clearly understood the dangers as well. When he'd left
he'd probably been told never to associate with any pureblood family again, especially one as
close as Regulus.

Regulus looked at Pandora, she was still staring. Her glasses were tilted on her face- she
should really get them fitted- and her eyes were wide and pleading.

Regulus sighed, why had he ever started talking to her?

"I can help sure, whats troubling you?"

Xenophilius looked up at him, clearly surprised. Evan make a strange noise that sounded like
he was choking on a cough, Barty kicked him from under the table, and Pandora's entire face
brightened.

"Great! Thanks so much Lucy! He was having trouble with tarot predictions..."

The group studied for a bit, Regulus mostly helped out instead of doing his own work, he was
caught up anyway and didn't feel like studying. He was still reeling from the match.

"Hey," Evan nudged him and spoke softly into Regulus' ear, making him jump, "Want to talk
about it?"

Regulus ignored him and focused on the page in front of him. Barty had asked him to rewrite
his potions note and make them more legible.

"Don't ignore me idiot,"

"Talk about what?" Regulus asked, still not looking up from Barty's paper, "I don't have
anything to talk about,"

"Oh don't give me that," Evan leaned his head down on the table, "Lets talk about you
straddling Potter at the match today and then coming here and being out of it and offering to
help a blood traitor,"

He didn't lower his voice anymore then he already had which made Regulus glance at
Xenophilius. Luckily, he was still rather focused on his notes, talking with Pandora about
something.

"Some subtlety please, Evan," He muttered and pulled out another sheet of paper, beginning
to copy the information down in a more orderly fashion, "I did not 'straddle' Potter, I landed
on him by accident. And I'm not 'out of it', I'm just hungry,"

Evan scoffed, "Please," He grabbed Regulus' quill from him, making Regulus set down his
paper exasperatedly "You landed on him by accident sure, but you did not need to stay there
that long. And you ate more today than you do any other day thanks to Joston,"
"I'm also skipping lunch, and I played Quidditch, its rather draining. Give me back my quill,"

Evan held the quill above his head when Regulus reached for it. Merlin, Regulus could kill
his parents for making him short with all their inbreeding.

"Nope, tell me whats wrong. I'll drop the Potter thing if you tell me whats wrong,"

Regulus glared at him suspiciously, "really?"

Evan nodded, still raising his arm in the sky to keep Regulus' quill away from him.

"Fine, I'll tell you later alright? Just- Please, give me back my quill," He tried his best to
replicate Pandora's pleading look that had convinced him to put his life in danger for
someone he barely knew. It seemed to work, because Evan gave him back his quill and
stopped talking, but Regulus could feel the curiosity oozing out of him.

"Lucy, I see Lucille and Martin, we should head over,"

Regulus looked to where Pandora was pointing and he saw the older students. They were
setting up a table and Lucille had a notebook.

"Lets head over, its best to be on time,"

"It's ten to one," Xenophilius pointed out, "We would be early not on time,"

Regulus glared at the other boy, he was helping him for Pandora's sake, that did not mean he
had to be civil with him, "Early is on time, on time is late. You can stay here if you'd like, I'm
heading over,"

Pandora touched Xenophilius' arm gently and urged him up. He was much taller when he was
standing up, but had bad posture and carried himself like he wanted to be small.

"Lets go Philly. We can help out! It'll be fun,"

Regulus scoffed which earned him one of Pandora's rare glares. She seemed to like
Xenophilius, but that did not mean Regulus had to. He was timid and cowardly, he wasn't
particularly intelligent either. Regulus wondered if he perhaps should have been in
Hufflepuff.

"you don't need to be so mean Regulus," Pandora said as Regulus walked briskly away from
the table towards Martin and Lucille. She only called him Regulus when she was angry but
Regulus was tired and he couldn't bring himself to care.

"I don't need to be, no, but its fun and he annoys me,"

Pandora glared at him again but rather then make him guilty it just made him more angry. He
wasn't sure where the sudden burst of anger was coming from, but he supposed that was what
happened when you bottled up your emotions. Eventually it would spill over.

I'll just blame it on Evan, he thought, its probably his fault somehow.
"Ah, Regulus, Pandora, and... is that Xenophilius behind you?"

Regulus suppressed the urge to roll his eyes. Xenophilius towered over Pandora and Regulus
and yet he was still hiding behind them.

"yeah that's him, we've been in the library studying and saw you, so we thought we'd come
over and help you with anything,"

Lucille smiled brightly at him, "No, but thank you for offering, and we'll make sure to put in
a good word for you, talk you up to the professors," She winked and Regulus was forced to
think of James again. Merlin, he needed to get Potter out of his head.

"Thanks but that really isn't necessary,"

Lucille hummed and scanned the rest of the library, "Lily and Remus should be here soon
enough, do you know if Elizabeth will be here?"

"Probably, I reminded her today,"

"Great, thanks Regulus,"

Regulus nodded and sat down at the table set up for them. Pandora and Xenophilius sat down
as well, talking in soft tones. Regulus had reminded Elizabeth about the meeting but he also
knew she had been half asleep.

Luckily, she walked in and spotted them a few minutes later, "Hello Regulus, and everyone
else, I don't know your names,"

Pandora waved, "I'm Pandora, this is Xenophilius, that's Martin and Lucille,"

Elizabeth rolled her eyes and sat down next to Regulus, "I didn't ask for your names, I'll
forget them within the hour. Regulus, good catch today, though landing on top of Potter was a
bit too dramatic for my tastes,"

"It wasn't exactly planned," Regulus responded dryly.

"I'd hope not, he's not exactly a comfortable pillow,"

The corner of Regulus' mouth quirked up. He didn't mind Elizabeth, he had actually been
looking forward to doing patrol with her but with the new schedule, that wouldn't be
possible.

Inter-house familiarity, what bullshit. If they wanted all the students to like each other, they
shouldn't judge them based on their traits as eleven years old's and then separate them into
groups and force them to compete against each other.

"Afternoon everyone,"

Evans interrupted Regulus' complaining. She and Lupin had just sat down across from
Regulus and Elizabeth, they looked rather flushed, maybe they'd ran here.
The sight of Lily only brought James to mind again, which frustrated Regulus, and made him
irrationally angry at the red haired girl.

Remus also sparked a strong emotion in Regulus, although he mostly made Regulus sad.
Which then made Regulus angry.

Remus reminded Regulus of his brother, which made him sad, then he got angry because he
wasn't supposed to think about his brother, let alone be sad about him.

"Afternoon, Lily and Remus," Lucille smiled at them and took the seat next to Lily. Martin
sat next to her and Xenophilius was on his other side. Next to Xenophilius was Pandora, then
Regulus, then Elizabeth. Remus was next to her and then they were back to Lily.

"This'll be really quick, half an hour tops," She and Martin went on to explain the routes
mostly for the fifth year's sake, but there were a few changes.

"Now, onto the pairings. Each week a different group will patrol. Here are the groups. Group
one is Martin, myself, Elizabeth, and Xenophilius. Group two is Lily, Remus, Regulus and
Pandora,"

Regulus blinked. He must be the most unlucky boy in the world.

"I thought we couldn't patrol with people from the same house?" Elizabeth asked, "Why do
you get to go with Martin but I have to go with a guy named Xenophilius? That sounds like
some weird fetish,"

Lucille glared at Elizabeth and Regulus fought down a laugh by poorly disguising it as a
cough.

"Martin and I will go with everyone in our group. The reason we stay with the people from
our house is because we're the older group. They've switched it so that we're fazing out of the
old system, I don't really get it but its what were doing,"

Elizabeth scoffed, and rolled her eyes, leaning back in her chair.

"Pandora, why don't you and Elizabeth switch places so we can discuss as groups the
parings?"

They did, although Elizabeth did it reluctantly, and Regulus began to think of ways he could
fake his own death in a way that didn't shame his family or bring attention to himself.

Maybe drowning, his parents had never taught him how to swim, it would make sense.

"Alright, Lily and I can come up with a schedule this week and show it to you guys next
Saturday. although I should mention this, to everyone actually," Remus tapped Lucille on the
shoulder drawing their groups attention to him.

"I've talked to McGonagall about not being Head Boy even though I'm a prefect and she's
agreed to put James in my place, but he's got to do a few rounds as prefect. So he and I will
be switching in and out for a bit,"
 Regulus sighed, with how things seemed to be shaping out, he should really start looking for
a large lake where his body wouldn't be found.

Chapter End Notes

Please don't ask me to explain the Prefect system, I have no clue, I was just using it to
push the plot forward.

Also, sorry for the brief Hufflepuff slander but someone had to take it and I'm a
Hufflepuff so its okay.

Thank you so much for reading! I love to hear your feedback so please don't hesitate to
comment!
 The Devastating Consequences of Bets
Chapter Summary

James and Sirius suffer the consequences of the bet, unfortunately so does Regulus.

Chapter Notes

Multiple POV chapter, I'll say when it changes POV though.

Lets suspend our disbelief for a second and pretend like there just isn't homophobia
because I don't want to write that just yet, may have some later but for now, homophobia
doesn't exist.

Beginning of some subplots surrounding Marlene and Dorcas but I will introduce more,
specifically for Pandora, Evan and Barty, Peter, and Remus and Sirius.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

REGULUS

Regulus was sitting on his bed, reading a book. It was some muggle tragedy about lovers, he
wasn't finding it particularly good but Pandora had recommended it.

"So are we gonna talk about today now that Barty has left?"

Regulus groaned, closing his book softly. He supposed there wasn't much avoiding the
discussion now. Evan was relentless. The worst part was, he couldn't even lie to Evan, he
somehow always picked up on when Regulus wasn't telling the truth.

"I'm not letting this go you know?" He popped his head out from the washroom, his hair was
damp as he'd just finished showering. Evan walked further out into the bedroom. He had a
towel wrapped around his waist and Regulus looked away. He felt a bit strange knowing his
friend was practically nude, right in front of him.

"Yeah, I'm aware," He sighed and put his book down on his sideboard, lying down on his bed
on his back. Regulus did not want to talk about this, but if he had to do it, better Evan than
anyone else.

Barty didn't really understand the complexities of siblings since he was an only child, and
Pandora didn't understand the complexities of being the heir to the Black family.
Evan understood both. He was a Rosier, not as well respected as the Black family, but still a
pure blood family with a great deal of prestige. He also had two older sisters. They were
twins, and had graduated when Evan was in fourth year.

Regulus still didn't want to talk about it, but Kinsy and Pandora liked to tell him that if he
bottled up his emotions, they'd explode on someone he didn't want them to. Regulus would
rather talk about things with Evan than some random person.

"Its really not a big deal Evan, I'm just-" He cut himself off. If Evan wanted to have this
discussion, he'd have to pry it out of Regulus. The least he could was be stubborn in the face
of emotional vulnerability.

"You're just?" Regulus felt the bed sink down but didn't look over.

"I'm just,"

Evan sighed, "I'm gonna need more than that Reg, you know its not healthy to keep it inside,"
he poked Regulus in the chest as he spoke but Regulus still didn't look at him. Merlin, why
did he have to introduce Pandora and Evan? She'd rubbed off on him, he used to be alright
with letting Regulus burn himself out, now he'd gotten all soft.

"I'm not gonna judge you Regulus," Evan said softly, "We've been friends for ages, I don't
stick around with people for this long unless I actually like them,"

Regulus finally looked over at him. His blue eyes were bearing into Regulus, and he still
wasn't wearing a shirt but luckily, he'd put on pants. His hair was still sort of wet, but it was
drying rather quickly.

Regulus took a deep breath, better to get it done and over with.

"After I fell, Daisy and Sirius were running over to Potter and I. I saw them and was so put
off from the fall, and catching the snitch and everything else, I thought Sirius might be
coming to check on me,"

He reached his hand towards the ceiling. Last year, Pandora had enchanted the cover of his
bed to look like the night sky. He liked looking at it. Up there, he could look at Sirius. He
could miss his brother when he was thinking of him as a star.

"He wasn't, of course. He went straight to Potter, but I don't know, I'd just hoped-" He took
another breath, "I'd just hoped he might have been thinking about me. I hoped he might be
worried, or angry maybe, or even proud, but he wasn't,"

Regulus' eyes found Sirius' star.

It was so bright, the brightest star in the sky. He supposed that was accurate, Sirius had
always burned bright. When Regulus was younger, he'd thought that Sirius' gleam would
protect him, that Sirius would always shine enough for both of them.

"He didn't even think about me,"

Regulus let his hand fall, but his eyes drifted over to his own star. It was apart of the Leo
constellation, but it wasn't nearly as beautiful as Sirius' star. His constellation looked a bit like
a rat.

Regulus felt Evan touch his hand lightly and looked over to his friend. His face was neutral,
not giving way to any emotion, which Regulus appreciated. He didn't want pity, or anger, or
anything really.

"I saw him smile, when you dove for the Snitch, I saw Sirius smile,"

Regulus scoffed and looked away from Evan, sitting up.

"I'm not lying! He'd just hit one away from their Keeper so I was looking at him and he
smiled and I looked over at you and you'd just dived for it,"

"He was probably happy about his own hit, or the fact that Potter had the Quaffle. A smile
doesn't mean anything,"

"It absolutely does," Evan sat up next to him and put his hand over Regulus' again, "Come on
Reg, he's your brother. I think he thinks about you more than you do him,"

Regulus raised his eyebrow, but he was smiling.

Damn you Rosier

Evan nudged him playfully, and started humming some song. Regulus recognized it, but
couldn't place it.

"Fuck off Rosier. I've talked about my feelings so put a shirt on and go to that party. I've got
to finish the book Pandora gave me,"

Evan gasped, throwing his arm casually over Regulus' shoulder, "Absolutely not! You hate
that book, and you just won a match for our team. Joston'll kill you if you don't show,"

"All the more reason to stay," Regulus said, shrugging Evan's arm off of him. This time, his
friend stood up and walked over to his wardrobe, grabbing a sweater and pulling it over his
head.

"What did I say about the depressing jokes Regulus?"

"That they're funny and I should continue making them?"

"That is literally the opposite of what I said,"

Regulus chuckled a bit. Maybe he did like Evan.

"Get up, put on some presentable clothes, and get laid,"

No, Regulus was certain he did not like Evan Rosier. He was an annoying prat with no
redeeming qualities.
"I'm serious Reg. Have you ever even dated someone?"

Regulus stared at him incredulously, "With my parents? My first date will be my wedding,"

It wasn't a complete lie, it was probable but his parents had encouraged him to try and find a
nice pure blooded girl to date until they found some distant cousin to sell him off to.

Truthfully, Regulus had never really been interested in anyone. He was rather awkward and
most girls didn't get along with him. Most people didn't get along with him.

"You're going Regulus. For Merlins sake Regulus, even Pandora's going,"

Regulus groaned but slid off the bed, at least it was an excuse not to read the book Pandora
had given him, "How long?" He asked apprehensively.

"At least two hours,"

"Two hours?!" He exclaimed, they had class tomorrow, he did not want to be at a Gryffindor
party that late.

"That's not that long Regulus, it'll just be until eleven, you'll be back in your room all cozy
before midnight. Now lets get going, I'd said we'd meet Pandora on the way there"

Regulus glared at Evan but the other boy held his gaze. It seemed he didn't want to budge on
this one.

Finally Regulus sighed and started towards the door, "Fine, but I'm not changing, and I'm
done as soon as the clock hits eleven,"

JAMES

James was currently drowning his sorrows in firewhiskey with Sirius at his side, Moony was
to his right and Pete right next to Moony. They, however, weren't nearly as upset as James
and Sirius.

"I can't believe it was right in front of me," He lamented, taking another swig of his drink,
"Literally, I could've reached out and grabbed it myself!"

"Is that legal in Quidditch?" Remus asked curiously.

"No, but I could've gotten away with it,"

James was severely depressed after the loss in Quidditch today. Regulus had been right next
to him, James could have pushed him away or moved out of the way so that Sirius or
Marlene could've hit a Bludger, but he'd been so confused by the other boys presence, and
then fascinated once he realized what was going on, he'd done nothing.
"Chin up Prongs," Peter said, patting him on the knee, "At least you did really well,"

James glared at his friend, "It doesn't matter how I do, it matters that the team does well,"

"Stupid brother and his stupid fancy broom and his stupid dumb house,"

James leaned into Sirius' side at his words, "I'll drink to that!"

He brought his drink up to his mouth when Mary and Joston sat down on the couch, next to
Sirius.

"Evening boys, still licking your wounds from Slytherin's devastating victory?" Joston said,
cockily, she was a bit drunk and leaning heavily on Mary.

"Come on now Daisy, be civil, I'm sure they're embarrassed enough," Mary was smirking and
her voice had the same tone as Joston's did.

"Why're you even here Joston? This is a Gryffindor party," James asked, leaning a bit away
from Sirius. He knew Sirius didn't like to be touchy in public.

"There's no such thing, everyone comes to everyone's parties. And I'm coming to this one,"

Lily came over, curling up in the chair opposite James. She looked lovely. Her hair was
cascading over her shoulder, she had a light flush to her cheeks from the drinking, her eyes
were bright with the excitement of the music.

That was something James loved about Lily. She was so musical. Whenever there was a song
playing, she would move to it. Whether it was just a slight tap of her fingers, or a quick sway
of her hips, she was moving. She'd told him once before her dad played the guitar for her
sister and her to help them sleep. He'd thought that was adorable.

"Quick ogling Evans and listen to me Potter," Mary snapped her fingers in front of James'
face and he felt his face heat up. He hadn't meant to get distracted by Lily, it just sort of
happened. Like when they were studying together, or when she sat next to him in potions, or
when she was in stands during Quidditch, or when she smiled, or when she spoke, or when-

"Potter!"

"Right!" James' shook his head sending an apologetic smile Lily's way. She hadn't seemed to
notice and was chatting with Remus about something.

"As I was saying, you two lost the bet which means I get to cause drama,"

James groaned. He'd been so distracted by his sadness, and completely forgotten he'd sold
himself off. "You know you didn't actually do anything Mary, if anything Joston should be
the one selling our snogs,"

"Oh don't you worry your pretty little head Prongsy," a wicked smile came over Mary's
features and she locked eyes with the Slytherin keeper, "Daisy's just as involved as I am,"
James and Sirius shared a glance. This would be a long night.

MARLENE

Marlene felt Dorcas let out a sigh against her mouth and smirked a bit, pulling away to look
down at her girlfriend.

"Enjoying yourself sweetheart?"

Dorcas just stared at her, blinking and breathing heavily. Her lips were parted and her eyes
were unfocused. She seemed to be in a bit of a daze, which gave Marlene a boost of
confidence.

"Come on darling, use your words,"

Marlene pushed her up against the wall, pressing her chest to the other girls. It wasn't exactly
the most comfortable position, but she could deal with that for Dorcas' sake.

"Yeah," Dorcas' admittance came out as more of a soft sigh than an actual word, "I'm
enjoying myself,"

Marlene smiled down at her and tiled her head downwards to kiss her again when a voice
cried out.

"Oh Merlin! Sorry!"

Marlene jumped back, pushing herself away from Dorcas quickly. Thousands of excuses ran
through her mind, as both girls turned to the voice and Marlene let out a sigh of relief once
she saw who it was.

"Merlin Pete, you scared us," She smiled softly at Dorcas hoping to reassure her. Her
girlfriends eyes seemed a bit less frantic, which Marlene took as a success.

Peter and Marlene had been friends since they were children, James as well. Marlene trusted
Peter more than anyone in the world and she knew he'd never out them, but Dorcas and him
weren't that close. They really only knew each other through Marlene.

"Sorry," He was blushing furiously and he had a hand covering his eyes. Marlene fought the
urge to laugh, but couldn't suppress her smile. He really was the sweetest.

"Don't worry about it Pete, and you can take away your hand from your face," She added.

Peter peeked out through his fingers, then removed the whole hand once he was sure. His
face was still red.

"Again, really sorry, but Mary wants everyone downstairs, she's doing the thing with Prongs
and Padfoot,"
"What thing?" Dorcas asked confused. She'd pushed herself away from the wall and was
standing close to Marlene, a bit behind her. They were lucky she had her hair in braids, they
didn't get messy like Marlene's hair did.

"Oh right, I forgot to tell you about that," Marlene grabbed her hand and started walking
towards the door. Peter's blush deepened as she did, she might have been offended if she
didn't know that Peter blushed at anything and everything.

"Mary had a bet against James and Sirius. If Gryffindor won the Quidditch match, James and
Sirius would pick someone for Mary to kiss. If Slytherin won, Mary would pick someone for
James and Sirius to kiss,"

Dorcas frowned a bit, "They both kiss the same person you mean? And why did Mary side
with Slytherin?"

Marlene walked down the steps from the girls dormitory. She briefly wondered how Peter
had gotten up there without triggering the slide, but brushed it aside. The Marauders were
clever, she didn't think a simple spell like this one would faze them.

"Mary supported Slytherin cause her friend Daisy's the captain. And I'm assuming they're
kissing different people, we didn't really discuss details,"

Dorcas hummed as an answer as they reached the steps leading to the common room.
Marlene could see Mary standing on a table and a crowd of people around her. Bowie was
playing from Sirius' record because it always was when Remus was at a party.

She could probably convince Sirius to play some ABBA if she got him alone. He'd never
admit it, but he actually liked their music. He wasn't nearly as much of a music snob as
Remus.

Marlene felt Dorcas squeeze her hand slightly, and then let go of it. Peter had already started
down the steps and Marlene smiled reassuringly at her girlfriend. They weren't able to be
overt about their relationship, it just wasn't safe with Marlene's parents, but at least Dorcas
understood.

"Marls! Dorcas! Get your butt down here!"

Mary called out to them from atop the table waving dramatically. She was definitely drunk.

"Coming Mary!" Marlene rushed down the steps, pushing her way through the crowd of
people with some half formed excuse about being Mary's friend. Once she got to the middle,
she saw the rest of her friends.

Sirius and James were sitting next to each other on the sofa, both looking rather dejected.
Remus was next to James but he wasn't really paying attention to his friends laments. He and
Lily both seemed rather amused actually.

Lily was curled up on a chair, looking up at Mary, and another girl Marlene recognized as
Mary's friend from home, Daisy, was sitting next to Sirius. Peter was there as well, he had
just sat down next to Remus.

Marlene walked forward, sitting on the carpet in front of Lily. Dorcas had followed her, and
sat to her right. Marlene could feel her press up against her side, a grounding reminder that
she was there.

"Whats happening?" Dorcas whispered up to Lily.

"Mary's about to say who she's going to make them kiss, I don't know why she's making such
a big deal out of it, she told me her plan and its not that clever,"

Marlene scoffed, "She's just drunk. Sober Mary would come up with something devious,"

"Now!" Mary announced loudly drawing Marlene's attention, "For the moment you've all
been waiting for!"

She paused for dramatic effect.

"I have decided to be merciful!"

A chorus of boos rang out through the crowd and Mary raised her hand in a placating gesture.

"I know, I know, but I am a kind and gentle person,"

Marlene chuckled a bit at that. Mary was neither kind nor gentle. She was a conniving, cruel,
individual who never turned down a chance at embarrassing her friends. Marlene sometimes
wondered how they ever became friends.

"Whomever walks through that door next, will be the object of Sirius and James' snog,"

"Are they kissing the same person?" A voice called out from the crowd.

"No, that would be ridiculous. I am certain at least two people will walk through that door,"

A couple protests rang out through the crowd and Sirius and James looked rather confused.
There was really no way for Mary to know for sure, unless she'd orchestrated it.

"Trust me, and look at the door! Someone will come through any minute now,"

Everyone turned to stare down the door. Marlene got up on her knees in order to see, and
stared as well.

It was quiet, and tense as well. Marlene could see Lily's hand twitching. She wondered why?
Lily only fidgeted when she was anxious.

Just as Marlene was about to ask, the door creaked open.

REGULUS
Evan was pushing on Regulus' back, ushering him and Pandora to the Gryffindor common
room. Regulus didn't understand why he was in such a rush, there wasn't exactly a time when
they were supposed to be at the party, Regulus wasn't even sure he was allowed there.

"Hurry up you two," Evan was taking the steps two at a time, and forcing Regulus and
Pandora to do the same, which Regulus thought was unfair as he had much smaller legs than
Evan and Pandora's were even tinier.

"Will you stop that?" Regulus swatted at Evan's hand pressing on the small of his back,
"There's no rush,"

"Yeah Evan, isn't Barty already there?" Pandora asked. She was much less bothered than
Regulus.

She was still angry at him after he'd snapped at Xenophilius, which he supposed he deserved.
He meant to apologize but there hadn't exactly been a chance with Evan rushing them.

"Yeah and that's why I want to get there as soon as possible. I don't want him to be lonely in
the lions den,"

Regulus scoffed, he shared Evan's distaste for Gryffindor's but there was not a chance he'd
ever be caught dead calling it a 'lions den', that was just stupid. As for what Evan had actually
said, Regulus didn't buy it.

It wasn't a bad excuse, as far as they go, and Pandora seemed to buy it, but Regulus knew
Evan and Barty better than that. Evan didn't care if Barty was left alone in a room full of
Gryffindors, actually he'd probably encourage it. Evan found it funny when Barty
embarrassed himself.

Still, he let him rush him up the steps. Usually it was better to just along with Evan's plans,
there was less trouble that way.

"Okay we're here Evan, you can stop touching me now," Regulus stepped towards the
portrait, "Do you know the password?"

"Yeah, hang on,"

He pulled out a little slip of paper and squinted at it, then approached the fat lady.

"Juniper Bush?"

The woman in the portrait nodded and the door started to creak open, Evan pushed them
through before him and Regulus muttered a thank you, which was probably silly as she was a
portrait, but he did it anyways. It just felt polite.

He and Pandora stepped in first.

The truth was, Regulus had never been to a party. He'd passed through a few that were held in
the Slytherin common room, but never stayed long enough to really experience them. He
didn't fully know what he was expecting when entering but it sure wasn't this.
The second he and Pandora walked through the door, shouts erupted throughout the room.

It looked like every single party goer was huddled in a circle, staring at the door, and they
were either very upset, or very happy at Regulus and Pandora's arrival.

Regulus glanced at Evan who had just come in after them. He was smirking.

"Told you lot!" A girl's voice called from the middle of the room

He looked up to see Mary MacDonald, standing on a table, triumphantly staring at Regulus

and his friends.

Regulus opened his mouth to ask what was going on, when hands started grabbing at him and
Pandora. People wearing Gryffindor ties on their head like headbands began pushing Regulus
and Pandora around. They were clearly drunk and stunk of whiskey.

Regulus allowed himself to get pushed to the centre of the circle. His brother and James
Potter were stood in the middle, both of their mouths dropped open. Regulus felt himself
flush, remembering the moment on the Quidditch pitch earlier.

Speaking of Quidditch, Daisy was there as well. She was laughing, practically doubled over,
Regulus was actually a bit concerned for her.

MacDonald stepped off the table and walked towards Pandora and Regulus.

"You two, are my darling voluteers. And isn't it perfect!?" She spoke the last part louder,
addressing the crowd instead of Regulus and Pandora directly, "Regulus! Who caught the
snitch that won today's game, is going to be involved in the bet!"

Regulus frowned and looked over to Daisy. She had calmed down a bit, but was wiping tears
from her eyes. He remembered her mentioning a bet that Mary had going on, and that she
wanted to win the game because of it, but he had never bothered to ask what the bet was
actually about. He didn't think it would concern him.

"Hang on Mary, this isn't working," Sirius interrupted, putting a hand on her shoulder, "This
isn't happening with Regulus, not a chance,"

Mary frowned and turned around to Sirius, poking him in the chest, "You said anyone Black,
and I'm not making you kiss him, that would be weird,"

Hang on, what did kissing have to do with anything?

Mary turned to Pandora, "That's what Pandora's here for," She grabbed the blonde girl by the
shoulders and pushed her towards Sirius.

"You see my darling Dora. Sirius and James here said they'd kiss anyone I asked them to if
they lost the match, and they lost the match, so I decided to be nice and let them kiss the next
people that walked through the door, and you and Regulus walked through the door soooo,"
Regulus began to piece things together in his mind. Evan's insistence that Regulus came to
the party tonight, Evan rushing them to get there, Evan making sure Regulus and Pandora
went in first, even though it made sense that he would go ahead of them as he had said the
password.

Regulus searched for his friend in the crowd. He was leaning on the stairwell, next to Barty.

The bastard was smirking.

Regulus was going to kill him.

"So Pandora? Will you kiss me?"

His brothers voice drew Regulus back to the scene in front of him.

Sirius had lost any hesitancy, he was bowing in front of Pandora, holding her hand up to his
mouth. Pandora was laughing, her face turning red at the gesture.

Say no Regulus thought, Say no, Panda, don't. you know it would hurt me

If she said no, people would listen, they wouldn't pressure or force her into anything.

"Alright, sure, what have I got to loose?"

As Sirius smirked and pulled her close to him by her waist, Regulus felt his heart sink to the
floor.

Was she really that upset at him over Xenophilius? Upset enough to kiss the brother who'd
abandoned him? The brother that he'd sobbed over in Pandora's arms time and time again?

Vaguely, he heard cheering. They weren't kissing anymore. Pandora had pulled away and
made a fake retching noise. People that usually teased her in the halls were giving her
supportive pats on the back and yelling her name. Regulus could barely stand up straight.

Willpower alone was keeping him upright. His mother's voice whispering in the back of his
mind. Telling him to save it for later, to pretend until he was alone.

"Regulus? Will you finish the dare?"

Mary was speaking to him, he realized and he blinked at her, then at Potter.

He was standing a bit to Regulus' left, staring at him. He expected Regulus to say no. Lily
Evans was sitting in a chair to his right, she wasn't looking at him, if anything she was
avoiding his gaze.

Pandora was still laughing a bit, she was looking at Regulus as well. She didn't seem to be
aware of the wreck she'd caused.

Sirius was smirking, he knew.

He knew how much it would hurt Regulus to kiss her. How much seeing his friend with his
brother would pain him.

The ache in Regulus' chest began to ebb, giving way for anger to take its place.

How dare Evan trick him into this? How dare Mary bet on this? How dare Pandora act like
she didn't know what she did? How dare James doubt him? How dare Sirius? How dare
Sirius?

Regulus marched towards Potter, right past Sirius, and pulled on James' tie, bringing him
down to Regulus' height.

The last thing he saw before his lips touched Potter's, was his brother's surprised face.

JAMES

When Regulus and Pandora had walked through the door, James had felt a bit of relief. Sirius
would kiss Pandora, and James would kiss some random person because there was no chance
in hell Regulus would kiss him.

But here he was.

Regulus had pulled him down by his tie in the beginning, but now his hand was snaked along
the back of James' neck. His other hand was resting a bit awkwardly on James' shoulder.

James rested one of his hands on Regulus' waist, like he had done earlier on the Quidditch
pitch, and pushed the other up through his hair. He had lovely hair, James remembered Mary
had mentioned it. It was curly, and soft, and felt nice under James fingers

It wasn't bad, all things considered. Regulus certainly didn't seem experienced, but he kissed
like he had something to prove.

Regulus pulled away, his lips parted, his eyes unfocused, his cheeks flushed.

James swallowed harshly, there was no chance he was getting that out of his head anytime
soon.

James stepped back from Regulus, and turned towards the crowd. People were clapping and
letting out cheers and whistles. James tried for a confident smile, and gave a graceful bow to
the crowd, then grabbed Regulus' hand and bowed again, this time with Regulus.

Things went back to normal for most people.

Regulus quickly went over to a few of his friends, not even acknowledging James. Mary got
off the table and sat down on the sofa, leaning into Joston. Peter was talking with some
Ravenclaw girl. Remus and Sirius had disappeared off somewhere, they seemed to be doing
that a lot recently, probably planning a prank. Marlene was sitting at Dorcas' feet letting her
braid her hair.
James frowned, Dorcas was in Lily's chair. She always sat there if she was there and James
distinctly remembered her being there.

"Marls? Where'd Lily go?"

Marlene glanced up at him and shrugged.

"She left just after you kissed Regulus, said she was tired," Dorcas answered.

James smiled at her and muttered a thank you, then went up the stairs to try and find her. He'd
wanted to say goodnight.

He had no trouble getting up the steps, Peter had figured out a pattern for men to use, at
Sirius' demand, as a rat. The trouble was finding Lily.

He eventually found her, on some balcony, he didn't even know there was a balcony there. Its
a wonder the things you discover when copious amounts of alcohol was running through your
veins.

"Lily?" He called, "That you?"

She turned to him. Her eyes looked pretty again. They were green, green like the forest or
grass, or other pretty green things James' alcohol muddled brain couldn't think of.

"Yeah, that's me," She said softly, "And you're James,"

James smiled at her and walked over, leaning on the wall, "Always will be," He murmured.

Lily turned back to the open sky. She looked pretty like this. Just her, the stars, and James.
That's all they needed, in James' mind. The stars and each other.

Although, Sirius would probably be angry if James left him, so he'd have to bring him along
as well. And if he was bringing Sirius he might as well bring Remus and Peter as well. And if
he was bring friends, then Lily should as well, so Marlene, Mary, and Dorcas should come
along.

Them, then. All of them and the stars.

"Dorcas told me you were tired and wanted to go to bed but I wanted to say goodnight,"

Lily turned to look at him, "Yeah? That's nice,"

James hummed in agreement, he was nice, and moved to stand directly next to Lily. She was
leaning on the railing, letting the cool night air touch her face.

"I was thinking," James said.

"Oh dear, that's never good,"

"shut up. I was thinking that we only really need each other and the stars,"
 Lily glanced at him, clearly surprised. If James was sober, he might have kept his thoughts to
himself, but he wasn't so he didn't. He explained his whole thought process to her. About
Sirius and his friends and her friends and them.

"So I just want us and the stars," He finished, a slight hiccup jumbling the last syllable.

Lily stared at him, her green eyes wide. Her cheeks were a bit pink from the cold air. She had
lovely cheeks, they were round and a bit chubby, James liked how they made her face look
round. He'd always been skinny and bony, Lily wasn't. He loved that she wasn't.

"We can't have all the stars," Lily said quietly. Merlin, her voice was beautiful. James could
spend years listening to her speak.

"Why not?"

"Its not fair," She explained, "Other people like the stars too, they deserve to have the stars,"

James frowned, that made sense. He didn't want to be selfish, everyone deserved the stars,
"Can we just have one?"

Lily hummed softly, "Sure, we can have one. Which one? I don't know any stars,"

"I don't know any stars either, but Sirius taught me a few constellations,"

He pointed out, picking a constellation at random. The Leo constellation was nice.

"How about that star?" He gestured to the one in the bottom right of the Leo constellation,
"Sirius likes that star I remember,"

"I don't know which one you're pointing at James," She leaned into him a bit, she felt nice
against his side.

"That's okay," He reassured, kissing the top of her head softly, "I do, its our star,"

Chapter End Notes

Let me know if we're okay with the changing POVs, I'm not sure if I want to stick with
one POV per chapter or switch it around like I did in this one, I'm rather torn. I'll
probably just go with what works for that specific chapter

If I hear any Peter slander I'm blocking you. Voldemort doesn't exist you're not allowed
to hate him and I'm gonna keep spreading my Marlene-Peter-James childhood friends
agenda until I physically can't.

Also! I know James and Regulus' relationship seems to be advancing rather quickly but
do not worry, Regulus is still deep in denial about his sexuality. This boy is gonna get
put through the ringer.
Thanks so much for reading!
 The Emotional Consequences of Parties
Chapter Summary

Lily gets emotional, Regulus gets angsty, James gets ignored.

Chapter Notes

Content Warning for Implied Abuse.

That stuff starts at "He played, and played, and played" then ends at "He was used to the
cold"

See the end of the chapter for more notes

LILY

Lily was not looking forward to potions. She had already had a rather harrowing day and
seeing a certain fifth year would not help in any way, shape, or form.

Her morning had started fine, she gotten up, brushed her teeth, helped her roommates feel
better, cleaned up a bit, and then gone down to breakfast.

That was when she saw James, which threw a wrench in her plan of ignoring everything that
had happened the night before.

His hair was even more tousled than usual but it looked good. He wasn't wearing his glasses,
they were on the table in front of him, and he was smiling that soft smile of his. The one that
wasn't a front, that he only let slip when he thought no one was looking.

He had glanced up when Lily and her friends had walked in and waved them over.

"Morning ladies," He had moved aside, making room for the girls, "I trust you've all
recovered from last night?"

Mary had responded with some quip, but Lily could barely pull herself together. She didn't
speak for most of breakfast.

Then she'd gone to Transfiguration, where she'd done her best to avoid looking at James or
Remus. More specifically, the boy that sat next to Remus.
The rest of her classes were similar. She tried not talking to James, or anyone really, but now
she was on her way to potions.

Lily could not avoid James in potions. They only had one person between them, and Lily
wanted to talk to that person even less.

"Lily?"

Remus nudged her shoulder softly. He was smiling down at her, looking a bit confused.

"Hmm? Yeah? Did you say something?"

"Yeah, I asked if you were feeling okay,"

They rounded the corner towards the potions classroom and the knot in Lily's stomach
tightened. James would already be there, so would the other one.

"You've been off today," Remus said.

Lily swallowed harshly, "Yeah, I'm good," She tried for a reassuring smile, it came off as
more of a grimace. She had never been good at faking her emotions, "Just feeling weird from
last night,"

It wasn't a complete lie, and Remus seemed to buy it. She felt a bit bad deceiving him, but the
boy had enough on his plate.

They walked into the classroom and Lily noticed three things right away.

First, that James was laughing. He looked good when he laughed.

Second, that the seat next to him, did not have Regulus in it, which should have been a relief
for Lily as she had been avoiding that boy all day, but the relief was ruined by the third thing.

The last thing Lily noticed was that the seat usually occupied by Regulus, was housing
Severus.

"What's he doing there?" Remus asked, his voice hardening. He'd never liked Severus though
he wasn't nearly as mean as James and Sirius usually were, at least to his face.

"No clue," Lily took a breath and marched forward pulling out her chair and sitting down.
Peter offered her an encouraging smile, which she returned. She was not going to let Severus
Snape sway her, she was already stressed enough.

"Afternoon Evans, look who decided to join us," Sirius was smirking at her. He'd been in a
horrible mood since the party which usually meant he made it his mission to make everyone
else's mood horrible as well.

Lily glared at him, one of her good glares that always made her sister run away, and his smirk
died down.
"Lily! How are you?"

"Fine, Severus,"

She could feel his disappointment at her cool, unfamiliar tone.

Good, she thought cruelly, serves you right

The betrayal she'd felt when Severus had said what he said last year still rose up in her chest
whenever she saw him. She ignored the part of her that told her to forgive him, preferring to
nurse the ache in her chest that arrived whenever he came near.

"I hear you've been doing well in potions. Your amortentia last week was amazing,"

"Thanks,"

Lily stared at her notes, wishing Regulus would just walk through the door and kick Severus
out of his seat. She'd probably kiss him for that.

No, do not think about kissing and Regulus.

Her face began to heat up and she shook her head slightly as if it would expel the thought
from her mind.

Severus tried for conversation again, "Slughorn said we'd be brewing Liquid Silver today, but
without silver"

He paused as if waiting for an answer, then kept on talking when no one said anything.

"I'm excited to see how we'll be combining potions and transfiguration techniques,"

Lily was surprised no one else was saying anything. She glanced around the group of people

Peter was staring transfixed at the table, a bit of wood was starting to peel off and he seemed
rather focused on it. Remus was looking down at his notes, but his eyes weren't moving, he
was clearly just trying to avoid the awkward situation.

Sirius was the opposite. He was leaning back in his chair, clearly enjoying Lily's pain. God,
how did she ever become friends with him?

James was the last person she turned to to help get her out of the situation. He was staring
right at her, a question in his gaze. His body was tensed up and he was clearly uncomfortable,
but still, he looked at Lily. He seemed to be asking her if she wanted him to do anything
about Snape

She shook her head slightly, and he responded with a nod. He still looked tense but leaned
back a bit in his seat.

As much as Lily wanted Severus to shut up, she didn't want James to get involved. He din't
exactly have a good record when it came to handling conflict resolution with Severus.
"I, for one, would love to see your interpretation of how it would be done,"

Lily closed her eyes and took a breath. She could ignore him, she could do it until Regulus
showed up.

"I imagine you've been thinking about it just as much as I have,"

Oh god, Regulus, please show up. Lily wasn't sure how much longer she could go without
snapping at him. Was he always this boring? Had her view of him been skewed that much by
nostalgia and loyalty?

"Its a fascinating subject, really. The combination of magic and potions I mean,"

"I'm sure it is Snape, now get out of my seat,"

Lily exhaled gratefully, and audibly, at Regulus' arrival.

She wasn't the only one who was happy about it as Peter said, out loud, "Oh thank Merlin,"

That made Lily smile, really, he needed to get a better filter.

Severus glared up at Regulus, "We're switching seats, you'd know if you came on time,"

Regulus raised an eyebrow and Lily looked at him a bit closer. He usually looked perfectly
coiffed, but he seemed a bit unkempt today. His hair was almost as tousled as James', his
uniform wasn't put on straight and had a few wrinkles. He had dark circles under his eyes and
they looked red.

"Why? Slughorn doesn't ever switch the seating plan,"

Severus smiled cruelly at that and turned to James, "You want to explain Potter?"

James cleared his throat and sat forward sheepishly, "Yeah, that ones my fault. Snivellus is
tutoring me in potions,"

He smiled apologetically at Lily as he spoke. She wasn't sure why, it wasn't his fault.

Regulus stared unimpressed at James, the same stare he always gave to anyone. Lily would
have never guessed they'd kissed if she wasn't there for it.

"Fine," He turned on his heel and walked up to Slughorn, tapping him on the shoulder and
gesturing over to their table.

"What d'you think he's doing?" Peter asked, the piece of wood from the table, forgotten.

Sirius shrugged, "something shitty probably, personally I'll take Snivellus over Reggiekins
any day,"

Lily disagreed. At least Regulus had never called her a mudblood to her face. Maybe behind
her back though, she'd never know.
"Mr. Snape?" Slughorn called, "You can return to your original seat, you will no longer be
doing what I asked you,"

Severus' mouth dropped open and Regulus returned to their table, "Out of my seat,"

"What did you do? That was supposed to give me credits!" He hissed, glaring at Regulus and
gathering his books up.

"Played the Black heir card,"

Severus glared harder at that and Lily attempted to stifle her giggle. She failed and Regulus
looked at her, clearly surprised. She shot an apologetic smile his way and he just kept staring
at her strangely.

She'd always tried to convince Sirius to let them take advantage of his prestige but he refused
to be associated with the Black name, even for exploitation purposed, although he'd done it
once or twice for birthdays.

"Not that I'm not pleased that Snivellus isn't sitting with us anymore, in fact, I'd describe
myself as ecstatic. Jumping for joy even. Unable to contain myself perhaps," James
interrupted, "But I have just lost my potions tutor and I do sort of need that,"

Regulus turned his cool glare onto James, "I'll tutor you, I'm not as good as Severus, but I'm
better than you,"

Sirius sat up immediately, knocking over Remus' ink as he did.

"Oi! Ever heard of spacial awareness, Black!?"

"Sorry Moony," He pat Remus' hand thoughtlessly, "You're not tutoring him,"

"Why not?" Regulus sat down. He looked distastefully at the ink spilling on the table, inching
his books away from it.

"Because!" Sirius sputtered, "You're you!"

Regulus raised his eyebrow. He really did look disheveled today, but it was strange that the
eye bags had seemingly appeared overnight.

"Now I know you may have certain reservations about this Padfoot, but I really do need some
extra lessons," James soothed Sirius, touching his arm gently, "It'll only be for a little bit,"

Sirius glared at James, which took Lily aback. He was never angry at James. He would be
mad at every single person in the world before James.

Lily peeked over at Regulus as subtly as she could. His face was still, not giving way to any
emotion. He didn't seem affected by last night at all. He wasn't treating anyone differently, let
alone James.

That wasn't fair.

Lily had been tearing her hair out thinking about James and Regulus, and he was just fine?
He was the one who had kissed James, he should be just as confused as she was. If he wasn't
what did that mean? What did it mean for Lily?

She groaned and put her head down on the table which earned her a confused look from
Remus and a comforting pat on the back from Peter.

Slughorn started droning on about something. Turns out Severus was wrong, they were just
learning about the brewing of Liquid Silver today, they weren't actually doing any mixing.
That was disappointing, she actually was interested in the combination of transfiguration and
potions.

Lily tried her hardest to focus throughout the class, but her gaze kept being drawn towards
James or Regulus.

She groaned again, if this kept up she was going to fail the class.

REGULUS

Regulus was tired. Like actually, exhausted.

He'd done something incredibly stupid last night, and then again during potions.

Regulus had kissed James Potter.

Now, Regulus had never kissed anyone before, he'd never felt the need to honestly. But he'd
kissed James.

Only to prove a point! He'd just wanted to piss Sirius off, and he'd done it. Sirius probably
hated him, which was a great thing!

There were, as there always were whenever Regulus had the gall to do something that wasn't
perfectly calculated, consequences.

Firstly, he wasn't speaking to quite a few (read:all) of his friends.

He was still angry at Evan for putting him in the position in the first place, he was angry at
Pandora for kissing Sirius, and Barty was angry at him for kissing James and Evan for
putting him in a position where he had to.

He really needed more friends. The only other ones he had were house elves, and they were
constantly busy.

The second consequence was that he had kissed James Potter in front of quite a few people,
which meant that one of them was bound to get the information back to his parents.

If his mother heard that he'd kissed James Potter, the boy she attributed to Sirius' fall from
grace, she'd beat him black and blue, whether he was the heir or not.
The third and final consequence, and possibly the one that had thrown him off the most, was
that he didn't mind kissing James.

It wasn't magical or anything, but Regulus hadn't been able to get the memory out of his
head. He'd stayed up all night, over analyzing ever interaction he'd had with Potter, trying to
reason why the other boy was affecting him this much.

He'd been a wreck this morning, not bothering to brush his hair, tidy his uniform, or perform
the spells he always did to conceal his exhaustion. He'd just rushed to his first class and
avoided talking to anyone.

Then potions happened.

He'd come in late after an awkward run in with Pandora, she didn't seem to be aware that he
was angry with her, and found Severus fucking Snape in his seat.

Regulus didn't hate Snape, but he found him annoying. He was greasy, and always hanging
around Mulciber who was a generally unpleasant person. So he'd told Snape to move, but
apparently they had to switch seat because Potter needed potions tutoring. Which meant
Regulus would have to sit with Mulciber.

So, Regulus had done something stupid.

He'd offered to tutor James.

Again, mostly to piss Sirius off, but he didn't think extended time with James Potter was
going to help his current dilemma.

At least, he'd pissed Snape off and Evans seemed happy that she wasn't sitting with him. But
Regulus was fucked.

So, as he packed up his books after a particularly boring potions lesson, he planned his
conversation with Slughorn.

It would be an awful conversation, as his teacher was an awkward fumbling fool, but he's
sure he could convince him with just a couple mentions of his last name.

"Oi! Twat!"

Sirius' hand smacked down in front of Regulus, crumpling a few of his papers. Regulus
sighed, he did not want to put up with his brother right now, he was stressed enough.

"What?" He said flatly.

Sirius frowned, squinting and leaning in to look at Regulus closely. Most of his friends had
left, only Remus was still there, waiting by the door non-nonchalantly.

"Whats wrong with you? You look dead,"

Regulus rolled his eyes, he was not going to put up with his brothers fake worry for the sake
of his guilty conscience.

"Thanks Sirius. Since when do you care what I look like?" He spat out the words, putting as
much venom in them as possible. He tried to tug his papers out from under his brother's palm.
He did not succeed.

Sirius glared at him, and at his attempt of getting his things, "Since you've suddenly made it
your mission to piss me off. Why are you suddenly obsessed with James?"

Regulus scoffed, pulling on his notes again. He really didn't want to rip them, but he also
really wanted to leave.

"Is this cause I offered to tutor him? I just wanted my seat back, Sirius," He paused, grabbing
his papers and tugging on them.

"Surprisingly," he grunted, pulling harder on his papers, "The world doesn't revolve-" Merlin,
was he putting his whole weight on the papers? "-around you and your friends,"

If Sirius would just let go-

"Really?"

"Really," Regulus pulled again, and finally, Sirius took his hand off. He stuffed the papers in
his bag, not bothering to put them in neatly. He started towards the door, muttering a sorry as
he pushed past Remus.

Sirius, however, was relentless. He followed him out into the hall, despite his friends protests.

"That's not why Regulus and you know it, just tell me,"

"Can't I just want to do it out of the goodness of my own heart," He said sarcastically, "I'm a
nice person,"

Sirius laughed at that, "Yeah sure. Was kissing James last night out of the goodness of your
own heart as well?"

Regulus felt his face heat up and walked faster to try and loose Sirius. Unfortunately, he was
taller and had longer legs, he also had Remus with him who was a bloody giant.

"Fuck off, that was because of the bet,"

"You did not need to kiss him like that for the bet,"

"Like what?!" He asked exasperatedly, turning down an empty corridor. If he was going to
have this confrontation, then he was doing it as far away from other people as he could.

"You know what I'm trying to say,"

"I'm afraid I don't," Now, he only needed to loose Remus.

"Like you wanted to kiss him!" Sirius exclaimed loudly, grabbing Regulus' arm. He held it
tightly, like he wanted it to hurt, "Like you weren't just doing it for the bet, or to piss me off,"

Regulus stared at Sirius, shocked. How? How, after barely speaking to Regulus for ages, does
he know him so well? One day of grappling with his confusing emotions about kissing James
and Sirius had already picked up on it.

"Sorry, are we interrupting something?"

Evan and Barty were standing in front of Regulus and Sirius, staring at them blankly.

Regulus and Sirius stared back. Neither were entirely sure what to say.

Remus stepped forward, grabbing Sirius' hand where it was attached to Regulus, "No, we
were just leaving,"

Regulus stepped away, rubbing his arm slightly. Sirius had been holding on tight enough to
leave a bit of a red mark.

"Wait- Moony-" Sirius protested, as Remus pulled him away from the three Slytherins. He
still looked upset with Regulus, but when was he not?

"Sirius, come," Remus said sharply, and Sirius obeyed, following his friend quickly. He was
still protesting, Regulus could hear that much, but Regulus couldn't make out exactly what he
was saying.

"You alright?" Evan asked, touching Regulus' back lightly.

"Fine," Regulus snapped at him, glaring him down and pushing past his friends. They'd
helped him out sure, but he was still pissed at Evan, and Barty was sill pissed at both of them.

"Come on Reg, don't be like that,"

"Like what?" Regulus said. He wanted to paint, painting always cleared his thoughts. He
hadn't been to the Come and Go room since Friday, and he'd had plenty of ideas for his
painting since then.

"All pissy. I get I fucked up, but I didn't think you'd actually do it! You're not usually one to
succumb to peer pressure,"

Regulus walked faster, he didn't want to put up with Evan right now.

"Fuck off Evan, I'm tired and I don't want to deal with your bullshit right now," He glanced
over his shoulder to look at Barty, "You got something to say, say it now. I'm not coming
back to the dorm tonight,"

Barty had his lips pursed together, he was clearly still angry, "I'm worried about you
Regulus"
Regulus rolled his eyes. What was with people and worrying about him today? First Sirius,
now Barty.

"I'm serious! First you go and help Xenophilius, then you kiss James Potter, now you're with
your brother again?"

Evan nodded along as Barty spoke.

"You know Evan and I don't care who you hang out with, or what you believe when it comes
to blood purity, but your parents do,"

Regulus swallowed down the knot in his throat. He didn't want to talk. It felt like all he'd
been doing recently was talk about the things that were bothering him, why weren't they
listening? He didn't want to talk about it, he was fine. He wasn't being dumb, he wasn't going
to let anything get back to his parents, he knew the dangers he was accepting.

They rounded the corner to the Come and Go room, and Regulus turned around. Evan and
Barty didn't know about this place. This was his place, and Pandora's, but she rarely went
there without Regulus.

"If you two are done, you can head back to the common room now. I'm not coming to supper
or the dorm room,"

Evan and Barty shared a glance, but nodded at Regulus.

"Just think about what I said," Barty touched his shoulder lightly, "We just want you to be
safe,"

Regulus shrugged him off and nodded, mostly to get him to go away.

They both did leave, and Regulus walked towards the wall that hid the Come and Go room.

A door appeared but it wasn't the door to the paint studio like Regulus had wanted. He
frowned, maybe the magic was faulty?

Regulus twisted the doorknob, opening the door to reveal a small space that reminded
Regulus of the living room at his families summer home.

It was in the shape of a semi circle, with the door on the far right side. There were windows
all along the curved walls that looked like they led to the night sky and a lit fireplace on the
flat wall. In front of the fireplace was a little lounge area with a brown and white sofa,
ottoman, and rug.

La piece de resistance was the piano, which stood in the back center of the room. It was
illuminated beautifully by the windows, which Regulus found curious as they were charmed
to mimic the night sky but emitted evening lighting.

He walked towards the piano, running his fingers along the keys. There was sheet music
already set up that he recognized.
It was Poulenc's Deux Poemes de Louis Aragon, he'd learned to play it when he was younger,
and it had an opera part to it that Narcissa would sing.

Regulus smiled softly at the memory. He should write to Narcissa again, let her know he
knew about Xenophilius, she must want someone to confide in.

Regulus sat down at the piano, placing his fingers over the keys. He played a quick scale, he
didn't want to play Poulenc right now. He remembered learning about him, and he had made
a young Regulus sad.

Instead, he played a F major scale, then a F-sharp minor scale. He only had a few pieces
memorized- mother always preferred when he would sight read- and this was one of them.

Suite bergamasque: Suite bergamasque: III. Clair de lune. Andante tres expressive. was the
full name. Regulus just called it the pretty song.

His fingers pressed down on the keys, and he started to play. His fingers missed their mark a
few times, but overall, he did pretty well for someone who hadn't played in months.

Regulus liked playing the piano. He liked making beautiful music, liked making something
that no one could take and turn into something horrible.

No matter what, no matter who he became, Regulus could play the piano, and that meant he
could still give something to the world.

He'd started playing a different piece. He didn't even remember learning this one, his fingers
just found the keys. he recognized it though.

Rachmaninov: 2 pieces: No. 2, Romance in A major by Sergei Rachmaninoff.

His fingers traveled up and down the keys, and he lost himself in the music.

He played, and played, and played, until his fingers cramped and the music started blending
together in a cacophony of notes. He played until the fire in the fireplace was dying and the
keys started to stick together.

He played like if he stopped he'd never play again. Like if he stopped, music itself would
stop. Like if he stopped the world would loose its sound. The birds wouldn't chirp, the belt
wouldn't crack, the brother wouldn't laugh, the mother wouldn't scream, the child wouldn't
cry.

He played like he could still feel the burn of the fireplace poker, like he was drowning out his
brothers screams, like his fingers were turning the keys red from how much he'd picked at
them.

Regulus played, and felt hot tears run down his face. He played and he felt James' hand
running through his hair. He played and he hit the keys harder, banishing the thoughts from
his mind.

He started playing a Poulenc piece.

He played and he felt James' hands on his waist, he felt his hips under Regulus' own on the
Quidditch pitch. He felt Narcissa's hand wipe his cheek. He felt his fathers hand bruise his
cheek. He felt Evan touch his back, Barty touch his shoulder, Pandora touch his hand. He felt
Sirius holding his arm.

Regulus stopped playing abruptly. He was in the middle of a Bach piece.

He took a breath, then another, and then another because breathing had started to get difficult
and when breathing started to get hard, Pandora told him to focus on it before everything
else.

His hands were shaking where they rested on the piano, they had started to cramp up from
how much he'd played.

He was crying, so hard he could barely breath. Small gasps came out of his mouth and
echoed around the room, it made him miss the sound of the piano. He didn't like hearing
himself cry, he didn't like crying at all.

Regulus gasped softly and stood up, walking away from the piano. There was a reason he
only played when asked.

Because it had been something so beautiful, it had been such a gift to him, his ability to
create emotions with notes. To look at a piece once and know it immediately.

His family used to love it when he played. They'd all gather around the piano and he would
play and Narcissa would sing and everyone would watch and they were happy.

And it had been taken from him, ripped cruelly from his hands like pulling skin off of
muscle.

He sat down on the sofa and stared at the dying fire. He could still hear the piano. If he closed
his eyes, he could feel the ivory under his fingertips.

Regulus curled up on the sofa, he was still sobbing and he didn't have a blanket, but he didn't
mind. He was used to the cold.

LILY

Lily hadn't seen Regulus at supper, not that she'd been looking for him, but she had wanted to
ask him about prefect rounds.

Remus and her had figured out the schedule and she wanted to share it with him, she
eventually just gave it to Elizabeth to give to Regulus and she accepted it with a blank stare.
Lily didn't think Elizabeth even knew who she was.

She was just about to leave the great hall when she heard someone call her name.
"Evans!" James called out, waving to her, "A word?" He got up from the table and jogged
over to her.

Lily cursed herself softly but smiled at James as he approached. She'd been successful at
avoiding him all day and now he was going to ruin it.

"Wanted to talk to you, and so does Padfoot, but he's not done eating so I was told to stall
you,"

Lily rolled her eyes, they were so immature, "We're not twelve you know Potter? You can just
ask me to stay,"

"Sure," James said playfully, "But its more fun this way," Then he winked at her and Lily felt
her breath catch in her throat.

Oh Christ, she was screwed.

"What did you want?" She forced herself to ask, she had to act normal, at least until she had
the chance to be alone.

"Oh right," his face got serious, "I wanted to apologize,"

Lily blinked, confused. He wanted to apologize. After Lily had been avoiding him all day,
he thought he was in the wrong.

"Sorry I got a bit forward last night with the whole star thing, I was really drunk so I didn't
realize what I was saying and I swear, it was entirely platonic," He gave her a crooked smile,
"Well not entirely, I do still fancy you, you know that though. I just wanted you to know, I'm
still happy to just be your friend,"

Lily stared at him. James fucking Potter.

He was the most perfect man in the entire world and she had ignored him, for years. Granted,
back then, he wasn't so perfect, but now!

Oh she was so screwed, she was so so screwed.

"Lils? You okay? You want me to fuck off? Cause I can- oomf!"

She hugged him, tightly, throwing her arms around his neck. She was glad she was tall, that
meant she didn't have to reach up too far to hug him. His arms wrapped around her back,
returning her affection just as fiercely as she had given it.

"Everything okay love?" He murmured softly into her hair and she sighed, burying her face
into his neck just a little.

"Yeah, just tired, seeing Sev was weird today" She mumbled, she knew a few people might
be looking, but couldn't bring herself to care. She was in love with James, and James fancied
her back. She just needed to figure out how to tell him that.
"Ah, yes, forgot about that,"

"Sorry," She squeezed him a bit tighter before pulling back, coming down off her tippy toes,
"I know you probably don't want to hear about that,"

"Nah," James smiled at her, it was another soft smile, like he had given her this morning, "I
don't mind. That's what I'm here for,"

"Right you two, get a room,"

Lily jumped at Sirius' voice. He was standing just behind James, smirking like the bastard he
was.

"Oh shove off Padfoot, did you eat enough?"

"Yes mum, I had all my vegetables and everything," He teased, walking forward to rest his
elbow on James' shoulder. They were around the same height, maybe about 180 centimetres,
give or take a few, but were always arguing about who was taller.

Right now, it looked like James was, but that was only because Sirius was leaning over.

"I wouldn't have to mother you if you were responsible," James aimed to smack Sirius over
the head, but he managed to duck away from it, darting behind Lily, holding her by the
shoulders

"Protect me from Prongs, Evans. He'll never touch you,"

Lily scoffed at that and shoved him off of her, "Shut up Black. Now why'd you send Potter
over here to stall?"

She turned to face him, her arms crossed over her chest. Sirius was smiling playfully down at
her, but his unfaltering confidence faltered at her words.

"Right, come with me. Bye Prongs!"

He grabbed her arm and started to drag her away from the hall.

Lily sent a silent apology to Remus, as she had done the exact same thing to him a few days
ago and it was not exactly what Lily would describe as a good time.

She didn't complain as much as he did though. She just dealt with it as Sirius dragged her up
staircase after staircase. He'd said briefly they were going to the astronomy tower but she
didn't really care, she just followed him.

They arrived at the top of the tower and Sirius led her to a balcony. He sat down, his legs
hanging off the ledge and Lily say down next to him.

They sat in silence for a minute, Lily waiting for Sirius to make the first move.
You had to do that when it came to Sirius. He had to reach out, you couldn't force him to talk
about anything or he'd just snap at you.

"Sorry about potions, I was a bit of a dick about Snivellus,"

Lily shrugged, that wasn't what Sirius really wanted to talk about, she could tell, "Not a big
deal, you weren't any more a dick than usual,"

Sirius barked out a laugh and grabbed a flask from the pocket of his robes. It was always
jarring to not see him in a leather jacket, jeans, and a band t-shirt. They just fit him so well,
like a second skin.

"I want to talk to you about something, but you can't tell people about it okay?"

Lily nodded, "sure, I'm good at keeping secrets,"

Sirius laughed again, bitterly, and took a swig from his flask. His hand was shaking Lily
noticed.

They'd gotten close in fourth year when Sirius had found her crying over a letter from
Petunia. He'd taken her down to the kitchens, given her a cup of hot cocoa, and asked her to
tell him everything.

He had seemed so earnest and well meaning, that Lily did.

She told him about Petunia, from the letters to the taunts and he'd told her about his family.
They ended up comforting each other, and it became a regular thing. If Lily had expected to
become friends with any of the Marauders, she hadn't thought it would be Sirius but he had
been brilliant.

Yeah sure, sometimes he was a prat, but so was Lily, she could deal with him being a prat.

"I'm queer, Lils, and I'm in love with Moony,"

Lily's head snapped to him but he wasn't looking at her, he was staring out of the tower, down
at the pavement below.

"Also, I'm worried about Regulus, just a bit though I don't really care,"

Lily blinked, then burst out laughing. Sirius turned to look at her, incredulously.

"Don't laugh Lily! I'm being serious!"

"I'm sorry!" She tried to stifle her giggles but failed miserably, "Oh god Sirius I'm sorry," She
wheezed out the words more than spoke them.

Sirius continued to sputter at her outbreak, "I'm sharing something incredibly vulnerable with
you! And you're laughing?!"

"Oh fuck off, you're smiling!"

He was. He had a very bright, relieved smile on his face. That made Lily happy, she really
didn't mean to laugh, and she didn't want him to be worried about what she thought.

She exhaled softly, letting her giggles fizzle out, "Christ, sorry bout that Sirius, those were
just two very conflicting things to say,"

"Oh yeah, guess they were," He chuckled a bit, "I've just had a lot on my mind recently,"

Lily hummed in agreement, then rested her hand on his shoulder, aiming for comforting,
"You know I don't care right? I'm still your friend, you're still you, all that changes is that
you're happier,"

Sirius smiled softly at that, shooting her a relieved smile. He reached his hand over, resting it
on her knee. She remembered how much he liked touch, and inched closer to him, leaning
into his side gently and resting her head on his shoulder. He accepted her affection by putting
his arm around her shoulder and pulling her in closer to him.

"Who knows?" Lily asked.

"About which part?"

"All of it I suppose,"

Sirius took another drink from his flask, "Marlene knows I'm queer, so does Mary. No one
knows about the other stuff. The Regulus stuff just happened today to be honest,"

"And how long for the Remus stuff?"

Sirius looked away from her, he was hiding his blush she realized, "I'm not sure, forever
probably. Amortentia made it pretty damn clear though,"

Lily laughed softly remembering her own scent. She had always been a bit of a romantic, so
discovering she smelt fur, polish, and paint was a bit disappointing. She didn't have a big
revelation about it like Sirius did.

"You want to talk about any of it? Or did you just want to tell me?"

"Just wanted to tell you," He paused, "except maybe the Regulus thing,"

He leaned his head on hers, someone walking by would probably assume they were a couple,
which made Lily smile.

"Didn't he look off today in potions? And his notes were all messy, and he couldn't do the
spell in transfiguration today,"

Lily nodded along, "He did look strange. Usually he's all tidy, today, he wasn't even wearing
his tie right,"

"That's what I was saying! But Moony didn't take it seriously,"

Lily glanced up at him. She'd never noticed how fond his voice got when he talked about
Remus. He didn't even talk like that for James.

"You sure you don't want to talk about Remus? I'm a great listener,"

Sirius shook his head firmly, "No, later probably. Once I've sorted things out, but right now I
still kinda hate myself for it," He sighed softly, closing his eyes.

Lily frowned, "You hate it?"

"I don't hate it, I just-" He sighed, "I just can't get her out of my head you know?" His voice
was soft and small, like he was ashamed, or afraid someone would hear.

Lily didn't need to ask who "her" was.

"Why don't you tell me who you fancy?" He pushed her softly and she laughed at his
movements, "Come on Lils, I won't tell anyone,"

Lily looked up at him suspiciously. He was better at keeping secrets than Remus, but not
from James.

"I won't even tell Prongs, swear it," He held the hand that wasn't resting on her shoulders up
in a scouts solute. Mary should have never taught him that.

fuck it Lily thought, James'll never believe him even if he tells.

"I'm in love with James," she spoke bluntly, it was the only way she could get the words out.

Sirius' head snapped to look at her, "Beg your pardon?"

He sounded offended at her confession, which Lily was a bit miffed at, "Yeah, figured it out
after the party. He started going on about the stars and shit and I knew I was screwed,"

She might have known before then, and she had definitely loved him before then, but last
night just made everything so clear.

Neither of them spoke. Sirius was still staring at her, mouth wide open. She wasn't leaning on
him anymore, instead looking over the edge and wondering how far the drop was.

"I'm not telling him. I want to figure things out, and when I do tell him, I want to do it right
you know?"

Sirius started trying to sputter out a sentence but couldn't form the words.

"Yeah, exactly Sirius. I'm really glad you agree. This has been a great chat,"

"You're in love with Prongs?!" He exclaimed loudly, stirring a few crows from their roosting
places. Lily shushed him quickly and glared.

"Just announce it to the whole school why don't you?!"

 "Sorry!" He gave her a patronizing pat on the head, "its just unexpected,"

"Not that unheard off," She huffed, "He's not revolting,"

Sirius laughed just as she finished speaking, "First year you would kill you for saying that,"

Lily felt her face heat up and shoved at him playfully. He caught himself easily and smirked
at her.

"You know he wouldn't care if you do it right, yeah? He'd just be happy you fancy him,"

"I know," Lily sighed. Realistically, she should just tell him, but he'd been waiting for her all
these years, he deserved something big.

She leaned into Sirius again, "Talk to me, about anything,"

Sirius started talking about his cousin Andromeda and Lily closed her eyes, just listening to
the chords of his voice.

Chapter End Notes

Remember how I said you'd get blocked for Peter slander? The opposite is true for
Snape. This is a safe space for Snape slander.

Start of the Sirius-Remus subplot, hopefully adding more depth to their characters. The
prank did happen so I will be addressing that.
 The Strange Consequences of Emotional Vulnerability
Chapter Summary

Lily and Regulus have prefect rounds and Sirius tries to talk things out.

Chapter Notes

I think Lily and Regulus were a bit ooc in this one but meh. We can have them be ooc as
a treat.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

LILY

Now that Sirius had told her about Remus, he began to interrupt her while she was doing all
sorts of things. Sometimes, he even had the gall to drag her out of class just to tell her about
something Remus had done. She'd be upset with him if he didn't seem so happy every time.

Lily, on the other hand, did not start telling Sirius about how much she was thinking about
James. She knew he didn't like keeping things from him, honestly, she was surprised he didn't
already know about Remus.

When she'd asked Sirius about it, he'd looked away from her.

"I'm just afraid things'll change,"

Lily had been confused. James was perfectly normal with Dorcas and Marlene. In fact, both
of them sang his praises when ever the topic of James' support came up. When she said that
to Sirius, he'd just shrugged.

"Its different with your mates. We live together and shit, not as easy to forgive,"

Lily had frowned and touched Sirius' shoulder, "There's nothing to forgive, Sirius. You
haven't done anything wrong,"

Sirius looked away, clearly unconvinced but neither brought it up again after that and Lily
didn't want to push.

Now, he was pulling her aside after an awkward potions class where she'd been partnered
with Regulus and Peter. They'd gotten along better than Lily had expected but Regulus was
pretty prickly.
"Lily! Think you can convince Moony to see me in the library in half an hour?" Sirius was
walking next to her, keeping stride even though she was walking quickly.

"He's got prefect rounds today, with your brother actually,"

Sirius groaned, "Can't you get him to skip it? I really need to talk to him,"

Lily debated it for a moment then sighed. When those two got together she better be
someone's best woman, she'd have earned it after all this.

"Fine, but you've got to talk to him. I'll just take his place if you manage to convince him,"

Sirius pumped his fists in the air, grinning at Lily, "Thanks Lils!" He bent down to kiss her
cheek, "You are the greatest,"

"Whatever," She grunted, "Just go talk to him,"

Sirius nodded and jogged forward to catch up with Remus. He was talking with James, but
quickly got distracted by Sirius grabbing him by the arm and pulling him away with an
halfhearted 'sorry' thrown at James.

Remus came to her, in about fifteen minutes, to ask her to fill in for him with Regulus.

She agreed and was now waiting for him at the stairwell on the third floor. They were
supposed to patrol there, as well as the fourth and fifth floors, until another group came to tag
them out.

She had arrived early so she wasn't too concerned when she had to wait, but as time passed
and Regulus still didn't show up, she checked her watch. They were supposed to start about
five minutes ago.

Lily frowned. If it were anyone else, she wouldn't have cared, but Regulus was usually on
time. She didn't know him that well, but it seemed out of character.

Just as she began to start worrying about him, Regulus rounded the corner, bumping right
into her.

"Shit, sorry," He looked up at her, frazzled and she took a certain amount of pleasure in being
taller than him.

"Evans?" He frowned, his eyebrows creasing together, "What are you doing here? I thought I
was supposed to be with Lupin?"

"you were," She said, looking him up and down. He looked like he had at potions the other
day, with messy hair, unkempt clothes, and deep eyes bags. Sirius was right to be concerned.
"Something came up so he's taking mine with Pandora tomorrow and I'm doing today,"

"Oh," He pursed his lips together, which made Lily think of Petunia, she had very prune like
lips.
"We should go then, sorry about being late,"

"Don't worry about it," Lily reassured, "I don't think anyone'll be too angry we're patrolling
for a few minutes less than usual,"

Regulus sighed, running a hand through his hair and messing it up even more than it already
was, "Still, sorry,"

"Really Regulus, its fine, I don't mind," Instinctively, she reached over to touch his shoulder,
and he flinched away, immediately walking away from her. Lily blinked at how quickly he
had moved then followed, not thinking much of it. Maybe he wasn't a touchy guy.

They walked mostly in silence, when Lily tried to make conversation, Regulus responded in
hums and short sentences so she quickly gave up. Hopefully they'd warm up to each other,
but things did not look promising.

After a good few minutes of silence, Lily tried one more time.

"Have you done the potions homework? The analysis on the potion we brewed today I
mean,"

"Finished it in class," He said curtly, "You?"

She was a bit surprised that he had asked her a question in return but it was better than
anything else she'd gotten so she pushed forward.

"No, I got about halfway through. I was planning on finishing it after rounds,"

Regulus nodded, "Has Petigrew?"

"Not sure," Lily said, "I imagine he's doing it now,"

They walked in the quiet again but Lily was rather proud of herself. She'd had a conversation
with the stone cold Regulus Black, she'd have to brag to Mary later.

Regulus stopped abruptly in front of a portrait, looking at it confused.

Lily stopped as well, turning around to look at the portrait. It was a farm house, she knew
there was usually a family there, with a son, daughter, husband, and wife, but they had gone
somewhere.

"Whats wrong?" She asked. Regulus was looking rather oddly at the portrait, like there was
something wrong with it.

"The paintings tilted," He said, pointed to the bottom right corner. He was right, it was a bit
tilted, if you looked at the wall, you could see the outline of where it was supposed to be.

"Weird, Filch probably moved it to clean it and didn't put it back right,"
Regulus shook his head, "The family in this portrait has daughter, she doesn't like to leave the
frame unless she's bothered, she usually sits in this chair and reads"

He pointed to a chair in the background of the painting. It was more of a swing actually,
under a weeping willow tree.

Lily supposed that was a bit strange but she didn't see why they should stop patrolling
because a painting went missing. Maybe she was still thinking like a muggle, but however
much they moved, portraits weren't people.

"Its just weird," Regulus murmured, his hand running over the portrait, tracing its lines.

"I'm sure its nothing Regulus,"

He looked over at her, his pale grey eyes meeting her green ones. They were a bit unnerving,
like the crashing waves of an ocean.

Lily felt herself inhale sharply. She hadn't meant to, is was just that his gaze was difficult to
hold. It felt like he was staring through her, listening to her thoughts and dragging them from
her head to be dissected and analyzed.

She found herself thinking of a stray cat that she used to see on her way walking home from
school when she still went to muggle school. It was jet black and bone thin from being fed
scraps its whole life, but it had always stared at Lily and it was always in the same place. It
would watch her come home from school and eventually she started bringing food for it.

It watched her, unblinking and still, until one day it wasn't there anymore. Lily had gone
home to her mother and sobbed, mourning the cat but her mother had just told her to suck it
up.

Regulus reminded her of the cat, not just in his gaze, but in the tragedy of him.

"We should keep walking," He said, "You're probably right about it being nothing,"

Lily blinked, and shook her head quickly before smiling at Regulus, "Yeah, lets go,"

She didn't know Regulus. They barely spoke, she had no right to be looking into him like
that. He wasn't some project she had to fix, he was a person, and they weren't friends.

They kept walking in silence but this time, Regulus broke it.

"Oh right, I meant to apologize to you,"

Lily glanced at him over her shoulder. They'd just done their third round of the floors and
were back where they'd started, going up the stairs for a fourth time.

"Why?"

"For kissing Potter at the party. You fancy him right? I didn't want to stir anything up,"
Lil's eyes widened and her thoughts began to race. She was distracted and so didn't notice the
chip in the stone steps. Lily let out a squawk as she tripped over the step and started to loose
her balance and fall backward.

"Merlin! You alright Evans?" Regulus' hands had steadied her.

One of them was on her waist and the other on the shoulder closest to him. His unnerving
eyes were on her again but this time, they looked more blue than grey. And they felt warmer
as well, less terrifying and analytical and more concerned.

"Yes!" She said, her voice an octave higher than usual, "Yes, I'm fine thanks," She cleared her
throat, hoping her face wasn't red.

Regulus raised an eyebrow but stepped back anyway taking his hands off her and giving her
space to gather herself.

Lily let out a huff of air then snapped her head to look at Regulus, fully registering what he
had said.

"What did you say?"

Regulus, who had already started to go up the stairs, turned to glance at her judgmentally, "I
didn't say anything?"

Lily rushed after him, taking the steps two at a time to catch up, "About James, what did you
say about James?"

"Oh right," They reached the fourth floor and Regulus continued to casually act as if he'd
done nothing wrong, "I'm sorry for kissing Potter. You two fancy each other, I didn't mean to
cause any trouble with you,"

Lily's mouth dropped open. How did he know? Did Sirius tell him? No, he wouldn't, they
barely spoke.

"How did you know?" She demanded.

Regulus raised his eyebrow patronizingly at her, "Were you trying to hide it?"

They both stared at each other in silence. He was actually confused. He thought it was
obvious.

"Yes!" She said in a strangled voice, "Of course!"

"Oh," Regulus glanced around the hall awkwardly, "Sorry,"

They stood there for a moment, Lily in shock and Regulus in discomfort, when Regulus
turned around and kept walking. Lily looked at his back, her mouth still open.

She shook her head back and forth a bit, and rushed forward, grabbing his arm to stop him
from moving.
"Don't just walk away! How did you know?"

Regulus looked at her like a cat being forced to take a bath. He looked pretty adorable
actually, "What do you mean how do I know? Its obvious isn't it?"

"No! Its not!" She stepped away from him, running a hand through her hair frustratedly. First
Sirius, now Regulus, at this rate the whole Black family would know.

"Really? I mean you're always looking at him,"

Lily gasped, offended, "I am not!"

"You are," Regulus said mildly, "And you're soft on him compared to previous years,"

"I am not!" She said, her voice shrill. God, she sounded like Petunia.

"Whatever you say Evans,"

Regulus was smirking, oh she was going to murder him one day. A slow and painful murder.

As she debated the living conditions of Azkaban compared to Hogwarts, he started walking
away again.

"Quit walking away!" Lily yelled, "I'm trying to talk to you!"

Regulus rolled his eyes, "We still have to patrol for another half hour, you can talk to me
while we walk,"

"You cannot tell anyone. Not Pandora, or Crouch, or Rosier, or any one else you
understand?"

"Sure. Really, I don't care all that much,"

Lily huffed angrily, but stopped pushing the topic. Regulus was the last person she'd wanted
to talk to about this. Because really, he was partially to blame for Lily's feelings.

If he had just not kissed James, she wouldn't have felt so jealous, and then she wouldn't have
left the party, and then James wouldn't have found her and gone on about the stars, and she
wouldn't be so in love with him.

Sure, she would have had some confusing feelings, but they wouldn't be nearly as palpable.

Regulus kept walking as if nothing had happened. For him, it probably didn't feel important,
but it was to Lily. She had been trying so hard to keep it to herself, and he just guessed it. She
couldn't even complain about it to Sirius.

In that moment, Lily had a dumb idea. She was a smart girl, that's what her dad always said,
and this was not smart.
Regulus turned to look at her, his eyebrow raised again. She had stopped and he was waiting
for her to keep walking.

Fuck it

"Regulus?"

"Yeah?"

"You wanna help me with something?"

SIRIUS

Remus was already in the library when Sirius got there, which he found unfair.

He'd been the one to invite Remus on a studying session but he was the one who arrived late.
Except he wasn't late, he was on time.

In the back of his mind, his mother whispered that being on time was late and being early
was on time but he ignored it. Instead he walked over to Remus, a swagger in his step.

"Afternoon Moony, ready to study?"

Remus looked up at him. He was looking much better than he had been recently. His body
seemed to be recovering from the moon a couple weeks earlier, just in time for Halloween.

"Yeah, what did you need help with?"

Sirius pulled out a chair and sat down. There were three at the table and Sirius took the one
without notes in front of it. Moony seemed to have a lot of things for just one guy, but who
was he to judge?

"Potions and Charms,"

"Good, Pete needs help with Charms too so we'll start with that,"

Sirius frowned. What did Peter have to do with anything? He wasn't there, Moony was
supposed to be helping Sirius.

"Got the books you wanted Moony," Peter sat down at the third chair with a stack of books
and Sirius' face dropped.

Peter smiled when he saw Sirius was there. "Its good you're here Padfoot, Moony was about
to start without you,"

Sirius swallowed harshly and forced a smile on his face, nodding to Peter. He looked over at
Remus. The scarred boy wasn't meeting Sirius' gaze, choosing to grab one of the books Peter
had brought and start skimming it instead.

"Yeah, glad I got here," He grumbled, resting his head in the crook of his arms on the table.
Remus scowled at him, but Sirius continued to pout, looking dramatically away from his
friend.

Peter, ever the oblivious idiot, just opened a book and started commenting on something
Sirius didn't really care about.

They studied for what felt like hours and Sirius started to want to pull his own hair out. He
wasn't sure how much longer he could put up with this. He hadn't really wanted to study, he'd
wanted to talk to Moony, but Peter was here, and he wasn't going to talk to Moony with Peter
there.

Sometimes, he wondered why he ever became friends with Peter, he was always turning up at
the most inopportune times.

"Psst, Padfoot," Peter nudged his arm. Remus had his nose buried in some book about
flobberworms. Why anyone would devote an entire book to flobberworms, Sirius did not
know.

"What?" He hissed. Remus had told them they needed to read at least a few pages of the
books he'd given them before he went over the material with them and Sirius had been going
over the same passage again and again, unable to get his mind to register the information.

"You want me to leave? I can probably make some excuse about Marlene needing help with
something. You wanted to talk to Moony one on one right?"

Sirius grinned at his friend. That was why he was friends with Peter. Because he was not an
oblivious idiot, he was actually weirdly observant.

"Pete, I could kiss you right now. You are my most favorite friend,"

Peter smiled timidly and began to gather up his books, "Please don't kiss me, I'm sure you're
a great kisser but we are in public,"

Sirius' grin grew wider as Moony looked up, frowning at Peter.

"You going somewhere Wormy?"

"Yeah," He'd already packed everything up, that boy was nothing if not efficient. And
brilliant. And amazing. Sirius would be singing Peter's praises for the rest of his life.

"I'm helping Marlene with something, but you two keep going, Sirius still needs help with
potions I think,"

Remus pursed his lips together and stared coolly at Sirius. Sirius was looking back at him, a
wide grin on his face, he clearly thought he was the cleverest person in the world.

"Fine," Remus said. His voice was icy, which made Sirius' smile falter for a moment, but he
quickly pushed it back into place. He couldn't afford to loose his will now.
Peter waved goodbye and shot a thumbs up at Sirius when Remus wasn't looking. Sirius
grinned at him and crossed his fingers so that Peter would see.

He turned to Remus who was flipping through the books piled on the table, probably looking
for a potions book.

"Thanks for your help Moony. I know you've got a lot going on,"

"Its not a big deal,"

Neither of them said anything else.

It was painfully awkward, which was awful.

Conversations with Remus weren't supposed to be awkward, they were smooth and natural
and fun and they didn't take effort. Sirius began to fiddle with a hair elastic he had around his
wrist. Marlene had given it to him last year when they'd come out to each other and he'd
barely taken it off since.

What made things infinitely more awkward on Sirius' part, was that he couldn't stop thinking
about how good Moony looked.

Neither of them were in their robes which for Sirius meant jeans, a t-shirt and the leather
jacket James' mum had bought him, but for Moony, it meant comfy sweaters that he was
practically swimming in.

He just looked so nice and it was not helping Sirius get his thoughts in order.

"What are you struggling with?" Remus asked, his hair falling in front of his eyes, his scars
gleaming in the lighting.

my sexuality

"Proportions,"

Remus nodded, he scooched his chair closer to Sirius and opened his notebook to a specific
page. It was full of Remus' neat handwriting.

"You should study the ingredients closer. Figure out what each individual ingredient does,
and it'll help you figure how they need to mix together,"

Sirius nodded. Had Remus always had that mole on his jaw? What about the one just under
his eye? Did he have freckles or was that just Sirius' imagination?

"Take the potion we made in class today. We needed to mix together wormwood and hog
meat to create a paste right?"

"Right," Remus' voice sounded nice. He was speaking softly because he didn't like disturbing
other people while they worked and it made Sirius feel like Remus was telling him a secret.
"To figure out how much of each you need to mix together, you'd need to know how both
react to each other as well as the other ingredients in the potion,"

Sirius made a noise of agreement but he wasn't really listening. Remus was look down at his
notes, his finger trailing across the page lightly.

He was just so beautiful. His eyebrows had creased together and he was biting the inside of
his cheek. His eyes looked infinite in the lighting, they were endless pools of gold, brown and
even some green.

"mesmerizing," Sirius said, barely more than an exhale.

Remus looked up at him, his eyebrows raising in a question, "Did you say something?"

Sirius swallowed. Not now. He couldn't yet. Remus didn't deserve to have him when he could
barely think about his sexuality without hearing his mother's screams.

Forcing a smile on his face, Sirius said, "Nope, didn't say anything,"

Remus frowned, but went back to explaining anyway.

They studied for a bit longer, but Sirius had Quidditch practice at 5:30 and it was 5. He
considered blowing it off but James would be pissed if he did.

He glanced at Moony, the library was mostly empty. There was a group of Ravenclaws but
they were in the opposite corner. It was now or never.

"Moony?" His voice came out soft and small.

"Yeah, whats up?" He glanced up, he'd been in the middle of copying down some
Transfiguration notes. Remus struggled in that class, Sirius remembered.

"Can we talk?"

Remus' gaze hardened and he looked back at his paper, "We are talking,"

"You know what I mean Moony," Sirius whined. He just wanted things to go back to normal,
he wanted his Moony back.

"I told you Sirius, I want time. I'll come to you when I'm ready to talk about it, for now just
pretend everything's fine,"

"That's not fair Remus,"

"No you know what wasn't fair was telling Snape about-" He glanced around the library
nervously and lowered his voice even more, "Telling Snape about the shack,"

Sirius swallowed harshly. His lower lip was trembling but he forced himself to keep pushing,
"How many times do I need to apologize? Cause I'll do it. Whatever I can do to make you
stop hating me I'll do it. I'd apologize a thousand times over. I'm sorry Moony, I'm sorry
Moony, I'm sorry Moony, I'm sor-"

"stop it," Remus cut him off. His eyes were sad and Sirius felt the familiar stab of self
loathing in his chest. He just wished Remus would yell at him.

He knew how to respond when people yelled at him. He could take it when people would yell
at him. But this? This bitter, melancholic state of reprieve ? He couldn't handle this.

He didn't understand why Remus didn't just hate him. He didn't know how to make it okay
again and he had to make it okay again because he couldn't stand knowing that he had made
Moony not okay.

"Please Moony," He pleaded, his voice was small again. He hated when it did that, it made
him feel like he was back home. Moony wasn't supposed to remind him off home.

Remus sighed and looked away from Sirius, "Just go to practice, Prongs'll be angry if you
show up late,"

"But-"

"Don't-" The word came out loud, and angry and Remus immediately stopped speaking. It
earned them a few glances and Mrs. Pince glared at them. Sirius didn't care.

He got a reaction. Moony was angry, he knew angry, he understood angry, he wanted angry.

Remus sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose, "Don't push it Sirius, just go,"

Sirius wanted to push it. He wanted to push it so bad. He wanted to make Moony hit him, or
storm out of the library. He wanted him to feel something towards him. Anything that wasn't
this.

But Remus looked so tired. So Sirius nodded and stared down at the carpeted floor.

It was a green carpet, like the green in Moony's eyes that you only saw when you looked very
closely.

He quickly packed up his things, whispering a goodbye to Remus as he left, which the other
boy barely returned.

As he left, Sirius glanced back at Remus.

His books were strewn all around the table, piled into messy groups with slips of paper
sticking out of the sides. He was scratching the side of his head with a pen, Sirius had found
pens and pencils weird until Moony had started using them instead of an ink and quill. Then
he'd just found it normal. Remus' hair was toussled and falling in front of his eyes. Sirius
always liked when it did that because Remus would get frustrated and glare at it like it would
make it stop falling.

He refused to get it cut though, claimed it was just better at this length.
Sirius smiled fondly. He loved Remus. He loved him so fiercely, it created an ache in his
bones. He loved him so viciously, it brought tears to his eyes. He loved him so softly, it
cradled him on the difficult nights.

But Remus didn't love him, he didn't hate him, he didn't care about him.

Sirius sighed. He never would have guessed indifference would hurt this much.

JAMES

Something was off with Sirius, James was sure of it.

He'd been late to practice and it was a mock match against Ravenclaw, Sirius loved mock
matches.

He'd also been hitting ridiculously hard today. The Ravenclaw captain had asked James, mid
game, to tell Sirius to calm down a bit. Even Marlene, who liked to encourage dirty play with
bludgers, was put off by Sirius' aggressiveness.

James was certain Sirius' anger had something to do with Remus.

Ever since last May when Sirius had told Snape about the knot to get past the Whomping
Willow, things had been tense between them. All of them had avoided Sirius entirely for a
while, but when he'd shown up, beaten and bloody, at James' doorstep, it had been rather hard
to stay mad.

So Moony had agreed to be civil. He acted like everything was fine whenever he was with
other people, but he'd told James privately, that he found in practically unbearable to be alone
with Sirius.

That was not only because of the devastating betrayal he was reminded of whenever Sirius
was near, but also because he was horrendously in love with him.

Remus had told James that he was queer in their fourth year, and then told him he was in love
with Sirius this summer, when James was trying to create peace between them.

He'd wanted to explain why it was so hard to forgive him and James had tried to understand
but he didn't really get it.

If you loved someone, surely it would be easier to forgive them than someone you didn't
love.

"Need something from me Captain Prongs?"

James glanced at Sirius who had just flown towards him. James had wanted to talk to him
about what was wrong but Sirius had a cheeky grin on his face that James immediately
matched. Neither of them would really lose anything if they didn't address it right away.
"You wanna be my keeper?" James asked, "I asked Frank but he said no, got something with
Alice. Figured you could use your bat,"

Sirius' grin widened, "You're a man after my heart Prongsie, I'd be delighted,"

Sirius took his place in front of the goal posts and gave James a thumbs up to show that he
was ready.

James took his own place across the pitch, the Quaffle under his arm and began to speed
down the field.

It was pretty even but James scored more than Sirius saved it. Eventually, Sirius paused, the
Quaffle tucked under his arm, "You done Prongs?"

He wasn't, he still felt like he could go for ages, but Sirius was clearly getting tired so he sent
him a thumbs up and started flying towards the ground. James sighed as he made his descent,
he needed to find someone who would play for as long as he would and not get tired. Maybe
if he had kid? They had a lot of energy right?

Both boys touched down on the grass and made their way to the change room, playfully
shoving and teasing each other the whole time.

When they got there, they immediately went for a shower but James finished first and got dry
and dressed. As Sirius finished up, James thought of a way to ask how he was doing.

He wished Peter were here. He was so good at being direct and honest.

"You ready to go Prongs?"

James turned to look at his friend. He had already put on his jacket and was in the midst of
lacing up his boots. They were some muggle brand that James always forgot the name of.
Some sort of Doctor Marvin maybe.

"yeah," He smiled at his friend and grabbed his book bag, he should really just ask. It was
Padfoot for Merlins sake!

"Hey Prongs?"

James looked up at his friend. They'd started walking down the corridors towards the great
hall. Sirius had a bit of a faraway look to him.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," James said.

Sirius bit his lip, he was clearly nervous, so James gently touched his arm.

"I'm listening Padfoot," He said tenderly, "I'm going to listen, no matter what,"

Sirius smiled gratefully and took a deep breath, "I'm worried about Regulus,"
James blinked. Honestly, he'd thought Sirius was about to tell him he was terminally ill or
something. Being concerned about his little brother was completely normal.

But Sirius was looking at him like he'd just said something scandalous so James rubbed his
arm comfortingly, "Yeah? What happened?"

Sirius smiled at him, clearly relieved, "Well you saw him in potions the other day right? All
disheveled and stuff,"

James nodded. He hadn't really been paying all that much attention to Regulus honestly. He'd
been a bit worried about Lily and had been trying to pay better attention in potions.

"Well I'm worried, I tried talking to him but he wasn't exactly willing to have an open
conversation,"

James frowned, "How did you talk to him? Nicely or accusatory?"

"Nicely!" Sirius said defensively, "I think? I don't know what nice is for him,"

James' frown deepened, "Why is it different?"

"Because it's Regulus, James. He's himself,"

James didn't think that nice was relative to the individual, he knew the specifics were catered
but there was usually a baseline that worked with everyone.

"Anyways, I want you to try and figure out whats wrong with him in your potions tutoring
sessions,"

James' stared at Sirius. He was too stunned to speak.

"Oh come on Prongs," Sirius chided, "Don't get a moral compass on me now,"

James sputtered out a few words of complaint but Sirius was giving him The Eyes.

The Eyes were most effective in dog form but worked pretty damn well in human form as
well. It was what happened when Sirius was trying to convince someone to do something for
him and only Moony was immune to them. Even Lily had fallen prey to The Eyes once or
twice.

James tried to avoid Sirius' gaze but found himself unable to look away.

He groaned, "Fine, but understand I see this as morally wrong,"

"Yes!" Sirius pumped his fists in the air and grinned at James. James returned the smile
quickly, it took a lot to stay angry at Padfoot.

Really, it was probably going to help Regulus in the long run. He was sure nothing would go
wrong.
 REGULUS

"Absolutely not,"

"Oh please Regulus! I need help!"

Lily was following Regulus to his common room even after he had said many times he was
not going to help her.

"I'm not giving you relationship advice about Potter! I'm not a therapist,"

"I don't want advice Regulus! No offense but you're not exactly the first person I'd go to for
that,"

"then what do you want?" He asked exasperatedly, "You clearly want something,"

Lily grabbed him by the wrist, pulling him so that he was facing her. He hated that she was
taller than him.

"I just want someone to complain to, come on, I'll only bother you when you're not already
busy,"

Regulus glared at her but didn't tug his wrist away. He didn't care about her, or her
relationship problems, but the idea of knowing about them but having no ties to them, was
pretty appealing.

"Please Regulus, I'll give you something in return,"

"Like what?"

"I don't know!" She threw her arms up in the air irritably, "I'll just owe you one,"

Regulus frowned. It was appealing and it was dumb. She was muggleborn, he couldn't
associate with her. But it was interesting. She was interesting.

He sighed and ran his hand through his hair, he was just going to give Barty another reason to
be worried about him.

"I'll think about it Evans, now go, we finished rounds ages ago,"

Lily smiled brightly, "Thank you Regulus!" Then her face contorted into a frown, "Aren't you
coming for supper?"

Regulus shook his head, "Not hungry, I'll just go down to the kitchens later,"

"You sure? We could walk together?"

"Just go Evans," Was she usually this friendly? Maybe she'd been drugged behind Regulus'
back.
 "Right, bye!" She waved goodbye to him happily and he returned it much more lazily.

Once he was sure she was out of sight, he sighed and started down the corridor to the
dungeons. He wanted to talk to Evan, he missed his friend and was pretty done being angry
with him. He needed to talk to Pandora too, but he'd do that tomorrow.

When he arrived in the dorm, no one was there. Which made sense as it was supper time,
they would all be in the great hall.

He let himself sink down onto his bed, closing his eyes and resting for a moment. He'd had a
long day.

So far, he'd been rather unsuccessful at keeping James Potter from his head. He'd managed to
worm his way in there like some sort of fungus and Regulus wanted him out. He needed to
get a better handle on himself as well. He couldn't keep showing up late and untidy. He was
the Black family heir for merlin's sake.

Regulus opened his eyes, looking up at the cover of his bed.

His eyes traced over the stars, trying to name as many constellations and stars as he could.

He started at Sirius, then found Regulus. To Sirius' right was Bellatrix, and she was apart of
the Orion constellation. The Andromeda constellation was up and to the right of Orion, and if
he looked underneath his own star he could find Alphard.

He should write to Narcissa.

He didn't move.

He should get up and start writing a letter to his favorite cousin.

He still didn't move.

Regulus sighed and rolled over burying his face in his pillow. He didn't want to talk to Evan,
or write to Narcissa. He wanted to sleep. His sleep had been shittier than usual recently and
he had James Potter to blame.

Suddenly, Regulus groaned out loud.

He'd just remembered tutoring starts tomorrow.

Chapter End Notes

Don't ask me how much time has passed between chapters, I have no clue.

Figured I should mention this, Sirius' trouble with Remus was mostly inspired by the
quote from Elie Wiesel "The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference" I was gonna
include it in the chapter but it was actually from the eighties so I couldn't :/
 The Surprising Consequences of Apologies
Chapter Summary

Pandora and Regulus reconcile before his first tutoring session with James. Remus is
also there.

Chapter Notes

Very sorry for not updating yesterday, I was working on a different fic and planning a
new long one.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

PANDORA

People often assumed that Pandora wasn't very smart because of her demeanor. She was
frequently described as air-headed and unfocused, but she did consider herself intelligent.

Her marks weren't top of the class or anything like that, but she knew how to read people, and
she was rather good at sciences. She liked experimenting and learning new things, and she
liked it when things were grounded in reality.

Except for when she was painting. She liked her paintings to be abstract. She found it much
more moving when an art piece played to her subtle emotions and brought out a person's
subconscious thoughts instead of their conscious ones.

Her current painting was of Regulus' Amortentia. Apparently, he'd smelt violin music, lilies,
and ash.

Pandora found the lilies and ash easy to incorporate, but the violin music was trickier. She'd
meant to ask him to elaborate on it, but he'd been avoiding her since the party.

She supposed she deserved that.

Kissing Sirius was silly of her. She knew about Regulus' feelings towards his brother and the
insecurities that surfaced whenever he was near, and she'd still let herself be wooed.

Pandora sighed, she hoped Regulus didn't think she did it out of spite. He might assume so
because she had been annoyed with him for how he'd treated Xenophilius, but when Evan
had pulled her aside and explained the history between them, she'd understood Regulus'
apprehension. She didn't agree with it of course, but she understood it.
She'd never want to lose the friendship she had with Regulus, and certainly not because of his
brother. She treasured him too dearly.

He had been one of the first people to ever treat Pandora kindly. He had even wanted to spend
time with her, not as a last resort, but because he liked her. He'd had friends when she'd
decided to talk to him, he didn't have to answer her, but he had. And it had meant everything
to Pandora.

Regulus was her first friend, and the only reason she had more friends. He'd introduced her to
Kinsy, Evan, and Barty, and while the latter two had taken a bit to warm up to her, they
became friends. She'd been surprised at how much she'd actually liked the trio of Slytherins.

Pandora sighed again. She really needed to find Regulus and apologize, she missed her
friend.

Regulus' half sketched painting across the room stared her down as she tried to work.

If he was really your friend you'd look for him, it taunted.

"Shut up," She muttered, busying herself with her own work.

Her piece was coming together well.

The background was inspired by Regulus' eyes. She'd used an oceanic blue-grey colour and
then added some accents of green and silver to give it more depth. What was making her
struggle was the violin music part. She'd decided on painting lilies made out of ash but
couldn't figure out for the life of her how to incorporate the exact feeling of violins.

She'd read book upon book of sheet music and played the notes out to try and understand
them, but they all felt so different. Sometimes they were pink and yellow, other times they
were blue and red. Sometimes they weren't colours at all.

The notes could be waves, flowers, a cool breeze, or hand made muffins. They just kept
changing and it was frustrating her to no end.

As she stared down her canvas, trying to force inspiration, she heard the familiar creek of the
door.

Regulus was standing in the doorway, surprised flashed across his face when he saw her, but
he quickly masked it.

"Afternoon," He muttered, striding across the room to take his place at his canvas. His piece
was coming along much slower than Pandora's, but they usually did. He tended to be much
more controlled and precise with his process.

"Afternoon! Want to talk about it?"

Pandora was never one for dodging the elephant in the room, a trait that a lot of people found
annoying but she knew Regulus appreciated.
"In a bit, I just want to work on this for now,"

Normally, Pandora would have pressed it, she didn't think putting off a problem was
condusive, but with it was Regulus who was owed the apology so she should let him decide
when he wanted to talk.

Instead of pushing it like she normally would, she simply nodded and turned back to her
canvas.

Unfortunately, Regulus' arrival did not give her a sudden burst of inspiration. If anything, it
stumped her even more, he was such a complicated person. Whenever she thought she knew
him, he threw something else her way, something that she never could have seen coming.

When they'd first met, she'd thought he was a sarcastic but loveable prat. Then she found out
he was a painter which completely adjusted her view of him. He was now an artistic and
introverted scholar. Then she'd found out he had a soft spot for house elves, and he became
an awkwardly adorable sweetheart.

Then he'd come to her sobbing about his brother leaving him and begging her not to abandon
him, and he was just her friend.

"My model for Athena has disappeared,"

Pandora frowned at Regulus' words and turned to look at him. His back was facing her, and
she could hear the etch of his charcoal against the canvas.

"That's not good, I thought she was a portrait. How does she just disappear?"

Regulus shrugged, still focusing on the painting,"Not sure, I was doing rounds with Lily
yesterday- she and Remus switched so you'll be with him later by the way- and I noticed she
and her family were gone from their frame,"

Pandora frowned. Regulus had chosen her to model for him as Athena because he knew she
didn't like to move from her portrait, it was strange that they'd suddenly disappeared.

"I think someone scared them away, the frame had been moved,"

"She'll be back right? Most paintings don't stay away for long. I can check today if you'd
like,"

"That would be nice thanks,"

He didn't say anything after that and Pandora kept staring at her canvas.

Still nothing.

Maybe she should listen to some actual violin music to try and understand the energy of it but
she didn't know any violinists.

"Panda?"
"Yeah Lucy?"

"I'm sorry,"

Pandora's head snapped around. Regulus still wasn't looking at her, but his charcoal had
stopped making the scratching noises she'd become accustomed to. Her face softened as she
watched him. He was so kind. He hid it away, shrouding it with sarcasm, but he was so kind.

Pandora stood up and walked over to him, wrapping her arms around him from behind.

His sketch was coming together beautifully. He had chosen to portray Athena as a benevolent
god. In his drawing, she was gifting Medusa with protection instead of cursing her. Medusa
was kneeling on the floor, and Athena was hovering above her, cupping her face.

"I should apologize, Lucy, not you. I shouldn't have kissed Sirius,"

She pecked his cheek gently, and rested her chin on his shoulder. Regulus still had his
charcoal hovering on the paper, she saw where he had smudged the lead of a pencil a few
days ago. He was turning it into something, but she couldn't tell what yet.

"Why did you?" He asked, his voice small.

Pandora sighed, closing her eyes and just listening to the scratch of Regulus' charcoal on the
canvas. That was the question wasn't it?

"Cause no one's ever wanted to kiss me before," She said simply. It was the truth. She had
never been particularly desirable, she was pretty but her demeanor had scared everyone away.
Not a lot of people wanted to kiss Pandora Lovegood, whose family had a history of insanity
and whose mother couldn't even remember her.

To have Sirius Black, a handsome and popular marauder, be her first kiss felt like a victory. A
fuck you to everyone who had ever teased her.

"I know it was just a dare, but still, felt nice to be kissed,"

Regulus hummed, his charcoal still moving harshly across the canvas.

"If I'd known you wanted to be kissed that bad, I'd have done it," He grumbled.

Pandora's eyes flew open and she pulled away from him, staring disbelievingly. He looked
back at her, the corner of his mouth quirked up playfully.

Pandora felt her face relax and returned the smile, "That would have been strange, Lucy.
We'd never hear the end of the dating rumors,"

"Ugh and they're already so bad,"

Pandora giggled and examined Regulus' painting. He really had a gift, just the sketch was
absolutely gorgeous, but Pandora couldn't wait until he added colour. He was a genius when
it came to colour, he knew exactly which ones to mix to make the portrait look alive even
before it was enchanted.

"Hey Lucy, you mind helping me out with something?"

"Probably,"

Pandora straightened out her back and turned back to her own canvas, "I've been having
some trouble figuring out how to represent violin music in my painting. Could you describe
what you smelt to me with more detail?"

She glanced behind her to look at Regulus. He was studying his own canvas with his brow
furrowed, losing his model was probably frustrating him.

"Please Lucy?"

Regulus sighed and craned his neck to look at her, "I would Panda, but I don't remember it,
sorry," He turned back to his canvas, the familiar scratch of charcoal filling her ears.

Pandora scowled, not at him, more at her own lack of imagination. She didn't usually have
these sorts of problems when painting.

Frustrated, she stalked back over to her canvas and pulled out the piece of paper where she
had copied down Regulus' notes. If she couldn't figure out Regulus, maybe she could work on
someone else's painting.

Lily had smelt deer fur, broom polish, and oil paints. That would be hard to make pretty but
an idea started to form in her mind. Maybe a forest where the trees were brooms. There could
be a deer in the forest and she could incorporate the paints by using oil paints to make it.

She wasn't keen on the idea though and kept reading.

Potter had smelt cigarettes, french wine, and something sweet. The something sweet was
interesting, but the rest of it was too bland for Pandora's taste so she read the next person's.

Sirius had smelt parchment, wool, and chocolate. Maybe a library scene, but nothing that
sparked Pandora's interest.

Remus had smelt vinyl, leather, and cigarettes. Now that was more interesting. A colour
scheme began to appear in Pandora's mind, it was full of reds, blacks, and browns. Other
vibrant pops of colour appeared for a moment, but they quickly faded. Pandora thought
maybe she could create a person made of cigarette smoke but she read the last person's just
for the sake of it.

Peter had smelt mint, rust, and grass, which was horribly boring.

Honestly, Regulus' was the most interesting, followed by Remus and Lily. It seemed Pandora
wasn't missing out on much by not speaking to the other members of the marauders.

"Ah shit, I've got to go Panda, I'm tutoring Potter,"

Regulus' voice caught on James' name which made Pandora's eyebrows quirk up. She'd
meant to ask him about their kiss, which she assumed would just make Regulus dislike James
more, but now he was tutoring the other boy.

"Yeah? In what class?"

"Potions, either I did it or Snape got my seat and I had to be with Mulciber, and I get credits,"

Pandora perked up at his words, and turned to face him, peeking over her chair, "Potions?
Maybe you could brew Amortentia! Then you'll remember the smell,"

Regulus glanced at her. He was in the midst of packing up his things and Pandora noticed
things she hadn't when he came in.

First, he had bad eye bags. She knew he didn't sleep well, but she also knew he tried to cover
that up with spells.

Second, his hair was messy. He always kept his hair neat because his mother liked it when it
was neat, but now it didn't even look brushed. It didn't look bad, just different.

"I'm not doing amortentia first. How about, when I try it with him eventually, you can sit in
on the lesson,"

Pandora smiled, pushing her worries from her mind. If Regulus wasn't feeling well, he'd
mention it to her. That was just the kind of communicative relationship they had.

"Thanks Lucy, you are my favorite,"

He smiled softly and glanced at the clock in the corner of the room.

"Shouldn't you be heading out as well? You've got rounds,"

She looked up. It was 4 and she was supposed to meet Lily, or Remus now, at 4:15. She
should probably get going.

"Yeah probably," She smiled at him, "Good luck with Potter,"

Regulus let out a huff of air, "Thanks, I'll need it,"

REGULUS

Regulus checked the clock. He had been waiting for James Potter for seventeen minutes.

He adjusted his set up. The classroom was completely empty except for Regulus so he had
the option of whatever table he liked. He'd picked the one they always sat at as he assumed
James would appreciate the familiarity.
His quills and notes were neatly lined up and he had his potions book open to the recipe for a
Draught of Peace. You were supposed to have learnt how to brew it in your fifth year, but
Regulus was skipping the fifth year potions curriculum so he'd never made it before. It didn't
seem too complex though.

"Hi!" James burst through the doors, making Regulus jump in his seat. "Sorry for making you
wait! Just got distracted helping Wormy with something,"

He smiled sheepishly at Regulus. He wasn't wearing his robe, instead, he had on a red
collared shirt and a baggy brown leather jacket. His hair was messy, because it always was,
and his round glasses were perched on his nose.

It was Regulus' first time being alone with James since they'd kissed and he was pleased to
realize that the other boy did not stir up any unfortunate feelings. It seemed Regulus' thoughts
were only in his head because he'd been ignoring and surppressing his sexuality his entire
life. He was sure, all he needed to do to get James out of his head, was find some girl to kiss.

"Its fine, just don't let it happen again,"

James nodded and moved to put his bag down. He started pulling out his material and
Regulus looked at it judgmentally. They seemed to be good quality but he expected that of
someone of the Potter's standing, the problem was how little material he had. He only
brought one notebook and potions text.

"So, Professor Black, what have you got to teach me?"

Regulus glared at him but still answered, "Don't call me professor, my name is fine. And I
don't know what I have to teach you. What do you need help with?"

"uhh, all of it?" James frowned, rifling through his notes, "Yeah, probably all of it,"

Regulus suppressed the urge to groan, "Well I thought we'd start with a simple potion," He
gestured to the ingredients he had already set up, "This is for a Draught of Peace. You made it
in you fifth year, I haven't yet but it looks simple enough,"

James sat forward grabbing one of the ingredients. Luckily, he'd only taken the powdered
moonlight and it wasn't rare or dangerous, so Regulus let him fiddle with it.

"If you've never done it before, how are you supposed to help me?" He raised the flask into
direct light, watching the shimmers of it.

"I'm sure I'll manage," Regulus retorted, "May I see your notes?"

James nodded, still transfixed by the shine of the powdered moonlight. Regulus waited for
him to pass him the notebook, but when he made no sign of moving, Regulus sighed and
grabbed it.

He opened up to the first page and found a crude doodle of someone with greasy hair,
surrounded by scribbles about transfiguration.
"Where are your Potions notes Potter?"

"Hmm?" James glanced over at him, realization dawning on his face, "oh, they're in there
somewhere. There's not really an order to it,"

Regulus stared at him, appalled. He only had one notebook for all his classes.

James returned his stare, very clearly confused at Regulus' shock, "What?"

Regulus took a deep breath, like Pandora had taught him, and forced himself to keep a
straight face.

"Nothing, just-" He took another breath, only until James got his mark up. Then, Regulus
could go back to ignoring him, "Just take my notebook, start copying down all of my notes,
into a separate journal. From now on, you have one notebook for potions, and one notebook
for everything else. Understand?"

James raised his hand to his forehead in a lazy solute, "Aye, aye captain! Is this homework
you're giving me Sir?"

Regulus rubbed the bridge of his nose, "Don't call me sir or captain, that's worse than
professor. And yes, it's homework. We'll brew the Draught right now,"

He stood up and made his way over to the cauldron. He'd hoped to go over Potter's notes with
him before they worked together, but he refused to rifle through an entire notebook. James
would just have to make do.

On the bright side, it seemed like extended time James Potter was doing the opposite of what
he'd expected it to do. After this, he didn't think he'd ever imagine James in any way besides
hateful.

"So what can I call you then?"

Regulsu focused on the recipe in front of him, making sure he had all the right ingredients.
Hellestone, porcupine quills, powdered unicorn horn, and powdered moonstone.

Where was the powdered moonstone? He'd just had it.

Regulus patted the pockets of his robes, surveying the room quickly, when he spotted it on
the table. Right, Potter had played with it.

"Hey,"

Something prodded Regulus in the side, making him jump. It was James' finger.

Regulus glared, "What do you want?"

James smiled up at him. Regulus would never admit it, but it did make him soften a bit,
James had a nice smile.
"What should I call you? You won't let me call you any titles, Regulus is too formal, Reg is
weird, Lucy is weirder,"

"Regulus is fine, Potter. If it bothers you that much you can call me by my last name,"

James frowned, he had been leaning with an elbow on the table and his head resting in his
palm, but now he was standing up straight, moving to read the recipe Regulus had already
studied.

"That makes me think of Sirius," he sighed, and waved his hand carelessly, "I'll figure
something out,"

He grinned at Regulus, "Now teach me how to do this,"

Regulus nodded curtly and rested his finger on the page, "It's an easy potion, the main
difficulty would be figuring out proportions. Most potions don't tell you exactly how much
you need so you just need to know,"

James frowned, "Yeah but unfortunately, I don't know,"

Regulus ran a hand through his hair, he was most definitely not going to fall in love with
James. He was certain that by the end of this lesson, he would be back to hating his guts.

"Just listen alright?" He pointed to the words in the book, "It says you add powdered
moonstone until the potion turns green, so that's how you figure out how much to add,"

James' frown deepened and he leaned down on the table again, "Okay sure, but how do you
know what green is green? Is it a pale green or a dark green?"

Regulus blinked. He wasn't sure. It was just instinctive usually, but James apparently didn't
have those instincts.

When he explained that to James, the other boy's frown just got deeper.

"Instinct? Really? That's stupid," He sat down on the bench and crossed his arms on the table,
resting his head in them.

He was pouting, Regulus realized. He was sixteen years old, and pouting. And worst of all,
Regulus found it sort of cute.

He felt his own eyes widen at the realization and looked back at the potion. He could not find
him cute.

"I suppose, another way of figuring it out could be studying the ingredients,"

James perked up at that, immediately standing up and coming to Regulus' side, Regulus felt
the side of his hips press against James'.

"Yeah? Like how they mix together?"

Regulus nodded. The cauldron was full of water already, and he began to add the powdered
moonstone. The potion began to take a green hue, and Regulus stopped once it got to an
emerald shade. He quickly grabbed a stir spoon next to James and began to mix them
together. It created a lovely periwinkle blue.

"So you just know then?"

Regulus glanced up at James. His eyebrows were furrowed in concentration and he was
scratching the side of his head.

"I suppose some of it comes with practice," He added some more moonstone and the blue
began to deepen. It was meant to be purple next, but it wasn't there yet so Regulus shook
some more in.

"If you study them enough, you can learn about the different types of potions. Draughts are
different from essences so they'll do different things. Eventually when you study it long
enough, you start to see patterns in the ingredients," The purple still wasn't dark enough,
"Powders should often produce dark colours but when mixed they make lighter colours,"

He was pretty happy with the colour now, and grabbed his wand, heating the bottom of the
cauldron and letting it simmer, "Heat makes the colour lighten,"

It was pink now and Regulus took his wand away, quickly adding some syrup of hellebore,
"Plants make it change entirely, so it's almost a reset,"

He looked over at James, "You should be taking notes Potter, this is important to learn,"

James was startled by Regulus suddenly addressing him but grabbed his tattered notebook
anyway, "Yes darling,"

Regulus, who had just grabbed his wand to put the potion on simmer again, accidentally
burnt himself at the petname.

"Shit!" he cried out, cradling his hand.

James immediatley stood up and came over to Regulus, grabbing his hand, "What happened?
Did you hit it or something?"

"No," Regulus glared at James, pulling his hand away quickly, "I burnt myself,"

He examined his hand, it was a bit red but he actually hadn't gotten himself too badly. His
reaction had mostly been from surprise.

"What made you do that pumpkin?"

Regulus' head snapped up. He'd done it again.

"What was that?!" He demanded, and James had the nerve to look confused.

"What?"
"You called me something,"

"Oh, pumpkin," He moved away from Regulus sitting back down again, "You said no to titles
remember. And we've both decided nicknames involving your name are weird, so I'm using
petnames,"

Regulus stared at him. What was wrong with him?

James looked pointedly at the potions, "You need to heat that up right?"

Regulus nodded and returned to what he was doing. He'd ignore it, "Do you need me to go
over anything again?"

Nope, I think I got it sweetheart,"

Regulus took a deep breath. Ignoring it would make it stop, "Good. Now for this potion-" He
checked the book quickly, "-you need to prepare the porcupine quills as the mixture simmers.
Often, depending on what ingredients you're using, that means chopping them up, but for this
one, it means grating them. Most other ingredients are powders, so these won't be an
exception,"

"So the ingredients should always be similar?" James asked.

"For droughts? Yes. For essences? No,"

"What is it for essences?"

"I'll explain that when we get there," He began to crush the quills with the flat of the knife.
He wished Slughorn would just invest in pre-powdered porcupine quills, they were much
more useful. Once he was done, he checked the potion. It was a pretty lilac colour, which
meant he should add the quills.

"Regular animal based products tend to change to a primary colour when in powdered form,
like you'll see here," He waved James over to watch as the potion changed colour yet again to
red.

"When we mix it, it becomes orange, and then when we add more-" he quickly poured in
some porcupine quill powder, "-it becomes blue. Back to a primary colour,"

He was very, very, aware of James's presence next to him. He was leaning over to get a good
look and his chest was pressed to the back of Regulus' shoulder blade. He leaned forward
more, pressing closer into Regulus. He only did it to write in his notebook, but it still made
Regulus' face heat up.

"Now what?" James asked, turning to make eye contact with Regulus. The smaller boy felt
his breath catch in his throat, they were awfully close. He felt his eyes slip down to glimpse
James' lips but he quickly brought them back up to his eyes.

"Now we wait," He responded, his throat felt dry, "It needs to simmer again,"
James groaned, finally moving away from Regulus, "Potions is boring, it's just a lot of
waiting," He sat back in his chair and tried to balance his quill on his face.

Regulus frowned, they'd just watched a potion change colour about ten times, in what world
was that boring?

"Tell me a story kitten,"

Regulus looked at James so quickly he thought he might have broken his neck, "Would you
stop that?!" He demanded.

James tilted his head, "Stop what?"

"Stop calling me those things!" he hissed, he was sure the impact of his words was muffled
by the tint to his face.

James smirked, "You don't like the petnames?"

"How did you ever think I would like the petnames?"

"Honestly?" James said, "I didn't, thought it might be funny to see how you reacted though,"

Regulus scowled, checking on the potions again. It was slowly changing from a turquoise
colour to a plum shade, but it still needed time.

"Just call me Regulus, it's not strange,"

"Hmm," He seemed to ponder it before shaking his head, "Nah. Hey, what were you going to
be called if you were a girl?"

Regulus sighed, "If I tell you, will you call me Regulus?"

"No,"

"Then I'm not telling you," Regulus glanced at the recipe, double checking he was doing
everything right.

"Oh come on, please? If you don't tell me I'll just ask Sirius,"

Regulus looked at him quickly. He probably wouldn't, but he was smirking like he'd already
won so Regulus just sighed.

"Soleil,"

James frowned, "Gesundheit?"

Regulus rolled his eyes, did the Potter's teach their children nothing? He hated to think what
had become of Sirius' at home education now that he was over there permanently.

"It's french. It means sun,"

"Oh right, cause you lot are named after stars and you're french,"

Regulus nodded and looked at the potions again. It looked sort of plum, but he didn't think it
was there yet. Maybe a few more minutes.

"Hey, can you speak french? I always ask Sirius to but he says he can't,"

Regulus raised his eyebrow. Sirius knew french, at least he did last time Regulus had spoken
to him, "I can speak french, yes,"

James' eyes brightened and he leaned towards him, "Say something in french? Please?"

Regulus moved back to the potion. He was happy with the colour now, and began to slowly
pour in the powdered unicorn horn, "T'es bete,"

"What does that mean?"

"It means that mystical animal based products have no general rule. It depends on the
ingredient,"

Regulus could hear the scratch of the quill on parchment. He was actually rather surprised
James was such a good student, he'd expected him to be much more difficult than he was.

They went through the rest of the potion together, Regulus even allowed James to add in
some powdered moonstone at one point and he, miraculously, didn't explode the classroom.
When it came to the final step, Regulus had almost forgotten the annoyance he felt at Potter
earlier in the lesson.

"Now we add seven drops of Hellebore, and a white steam should start to come off it,"

Sure enough, as soon as Regulus put in the last drop, a pearly wisp of white began to emit
from the cauldron.

"There you go. That's how to brew a Draught of Peace. It's commonly used to calm nerves
but can put people to sleep when given in high doses, although that isn't recommended,"

James was staring in wonder at the cauldron, he had his hand extended just a bit like he
wanted to touch it.

"You can," Regulus prompted, "Touch it, I mean. It won't hurt you,"

At his words, James reached his hand out to pass it through the vapour. Once he put it
overtop the cauldron, it seemed to disappear entirely.

"Brilliant," James whispered, bringing his hand back and staring at it in awe. It still had wisps
of smoke curling off of it.

Regulus chuckled slightly at James' reaction. It was pretty cool when he thought about it.
They'd only used four ingredients but had managed to make something rather beautiful.
James smiled at him, "You're a genius sunshine. With a mind like yours, you should be in
Ravenclaw,"

Regulus raised his eyebrow, "I just followed the instructions, and I told you to stop with the
nicknames,"

"But it works so well!" James protested, "You were supposed to be sun if you were a girl, so
now I'm calling you sunshine,"

"That's ridiculous,"

"Its cute,"

Regulus moved over to Slughorn's shelves, looking for a flask to bottle some of the Draught
of Peace. He found a vial about the length of his pointer finger and the width of two of his
fingers pressed together, it would work fine.

"Why can't you just call me by my name? You can't go around calling me 'sunshine' in public,
so you shouldn't get in the habit of it,"

"I won't! Hey, where does this stuff go?"

Regulus looked over his shoulder at James. He was asking about the ingredients they'd used.
Regulus pointed to the back of the room, "the quills can be thrown away, the horn is over
there, Hellebore syrup is in Slughorn's desk, moonstone is on the right,"

James nodded and moved to put the things away. Regulus walked back over to the cauldron,
bottling some of their potion. He held it up to the light to get a better look, swishing it around
in the flask. It should start steaming again when heated up but for now, it was just a creamy
white.

"So, how'd I do today?"

Regulus looked at James. He'd grabbed Regulus' notebook and was starting to pack up all his
things. Regulus looked up at the clock, they'd begun at 4:30ish and Regulus had wanted to
start at 4:15 but James had been late. It was now 5:04. They'd been there for a half hour,
which was a long time for their first session, so he could let Potter go.

"Fine. Just copy down all of my notes by class tomorrow and we'll have another lesson
immediately after class,"

James frowned, "Is it everyday? I've got Quidditch on tuesdays and fridays at 5:30,"

"I have prefect rounds that start at 4:30 so we'll finish by 4 if we start right after potions,"

James nodded. His things were all tucked away in his bag and their work station was
completely clean. He started towards the door before pausing just as was about to leave.

"Regulus?"
He looked up, "Yeah?"

"Thanks," James gave him a crooked smile that Regulus reluctantly returned.

"Also, I'm sticking with the sunshine thing,"

He dashed out the door before Regulus could protest.

Regulus sighed, packing up his things. It seemed he made the right decision when he offered
to tutor James. He was certain that extended time with the other boy was going to make him
despise the sight of him.

REMUS

Remus could not wait until James started to take over his prefect rounds.

He didn't mind it when it was Lily, but Pandora was a whole other story. She was nice, sure,
but talkative, and observant as well. Remus felt like she could see every part of him.

He didn't like to be analyzed. He liked having secrets and privacy. Both Pandora and Regulus
did not seem like the type to be respectful of that.

He ran his hand through his hair frustratedly. He was currently in the library after a difficult
few days.

That was another reason he was excited for James to take over. He had far too much on his
plate and he'd told his mum he'd take it easy this year.

With studying, the full moons, his mum's illness, and his feelings for Sirius, he was pretty
overwhelmed.

Remus groaned loudly at the thought of his friend, burying his face into his arms that were
resting on the table. He hated Sirius, he hated how he made him feel, he hated how much he
loved him even after what he'd done.

Remus looked up from his corner in the library. There was a pair of Hufflepuffs in one
corner, and a Slytherin in the other, besides that it was empty. That made sense, it was late.

He'd come straight to the library straight after supper because he'd wanted to do some extra
reading for Transfiguration. James had teased him over it, but he'd let it slide because James
was James.

He was lucky to have a friend like James. Remus played with his pencil, wiggling it so that it
looked like it was bouncing. It was a trick his mum had played on him when he was younger
and he'd been fascinated by it.

The corners of his mouth quirked up fondly at the memory, that had been the first time he'd
really seen anything he deemed magical. The next magic he'd seen, had been much less
pleasant.
Remus screwed his eyes shut as memories began to rush through his mind. The smell of
burnt rubber, heavy breathing, yelling, the pain in his hip.

Thinking of Sirius usually helped to clear his mind, but nowadays, it just pushed different
thoughts in his head. The smell of grease, heavy breathing, yelling, a new pain in his hip.

Remus grabbed one of his books and tried to focus on it. It was about animal transfiguration,
a fitting topic for Remus, and it was pretty interesting, but horribly written. The techniques
the author used were unnatural and he sounded like he'd used a thesaurus on every other
word.

Remus got past it though, quickly becoming immersed in the book.

He wasn't sure how long he'd been reading when he felt a tap on his shoulder. Mrs. Pince was
staring down at him through her crescent spectacles, she had an amused glint in her eye that
told Remus he was about to be kicked out.

"Is it that time already Professor?"

She raised her eyebrows at the title, pursing her lips together just a bit, "Not a professor Mr.
Lupin, but yes. The library is closing now,"

Remus nodded and started grabbing his books. He held one up for the librarian to see, "Can I
take this one? I haven't checked it out but I'll bring it back I swear,"

She hesitated, but eventually nodded and Remus smiled, thanking her as he left the room.

He didn't know what was going through Godric Gryffindor's mind when he decided to put the
Gryffindor common room in one of the tallest bloody towers in the castle but if he ever met
the founder, he was going to give him a good talking to. All these stairs were not easy for
someone with a slight limp.

And who had decided on the moving staircases? Did they have any idea how tedious it would
be to get up at night?

Eventually Remus arrived at the portrait and mumbled the password. He was tired and he just
wanted to go to bed, but he stopped when he got in the common room.

Sirius was sleeping in front of the fireplace in the corner of the sofa and Remus felt his breath
catch.

He was curled into a ball, wrapping his arms tightly around himself. He was shivering a bit,
despite his proximity to the fire and a strand of his hair was resting on his cheekbone,
highlighting it and making it look even sharper than usual. His lips were slightly parted and
he was making small whines in his sleep.

He was having a nightmare, Remus realized, and he walked over to his friend, kneeling down
to be at eye level and grazing his hand over Sirius' arm.
At the touch, Sirius' eyes shot open and he sat up quickly. He was breathing heavily and
glancing around the room in a frenzy. Remus just kept his hand on Sirius' bicep, knowing that
the touch would help him calm down.

"Hey, hey, it's just me, Padfoot. You're alright," he soothed. Sirius' grey eyes met Remus'
brown ones, and he immediately relaxed as he realized where he was.

"Moony," he breathed, staring at the other boy in an almost awe. Remus felt his mouth dry at
Sirius' magnetic gaze.

"Yeah, that's me," Remus whispered, moving from where he was kneeling on the ground to
sit next to Sirius on the sofa, "You want to stay here or go upstairs?"

Sirius didn't answer right away and Remus didn't push it. He would answer when he wanted
to.

"Upstairs,"

"Alright," Remus stood up and started to walk towards the stairs that led to their dorm. He
knew Sirius was following him but checked behind him anyway. Once they arrived in their
dorm, Sirius went quietly to his bed.

James and Peter were both already asleep. James had had his first tutoring session with
Regulus today and had been exhausted from taking notes all through supper. He was lying
spread eagle on top of his covers, his mouth open and drooling.

Remus felt himself smile fondly at the sight. James was rather endearing.

Remus quickly changed into his pyjamas and began to get ready for bed when he heard
Sirius' say his name.

"Moony?"

His voice sounded small and shy and it broke Remus' heart. He knew how much Sirius hated
to be weak, how much he hated to be reminded of his house.

"Yeah?"

"Will you stay with me tonight?" Sirius asked softly. His voice broke on the last word.

Remus looked over at him. He was already changed and in his bed with his back facing
Remus. Usually, when Sirius got like this, James would stay with him since they were both
the affectionate ones. Remus and Peter much prefered to keep their distance.

But his voice was so small and Remus found himself walking across the room. He stood
awkwardly over Sirius bed for a moment, before working up the courage to lie down. He
didn't touch Sirius, he didn't even go under the covers with him, he was just there.

"Moony?"
 "Yeah?"

"I'm sorry,"

Remus sighed, he'd forgiven Sirius. He'd forgiven him months ago, the minute he'd walked in
James' door bleeding from reopened scars, Remus had forgiven him. But it was much easier
to pretend like he hated Sirius for what he'd told Snape rather than for what he made Remus
feel.

He hated Sirius for setting him on fire every time he was near. For speaking and bringing
Remus down to his knees. He'd ruined Remus, and he didn't even know it.

"Let's not talk about that Padfoot, just go to sleep,"

Chapter End Notes

Ahh, Remus and Sirius and their communication issues, so fun.

I'm gonna find a way to shove my "Regulus is nicknamed sunshine agenda" in every fic
I write

"T'es bête" actually means "You're an idiot," not what Regulus said

Thanks so much for reading! I hope you don't mind how much potions talk there was in
this one. I'll try to cut it down probably.
 The Loving Consequences of Relationships
Chapter Summary

Dorcas is in love, Lily and Regulus discuss, James is great.

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

DORCAS

For the first time, in what felt like a long time, Dorcas was happy.

She felt good about herself. She actually felt good about how she looked and who she was.
She knew what she liked and she didn't feel a single bit of shame when she looked at her
girlfriend.

How could she? She was dating Marlene McKinnon. Confident, beautiful, intimidating,
brilliant, charming, Marlene McKinnon.

She'd disliked Marlene when they'd first met.

Marlene had been chatting all through class with Mary, and Dorcas was sitting right in front
of her. No matter how hard she tried to focus, Marlene's voice cut into her thoughts. So she'd
turned around and politely asked that Marlene keep it down.

Mary had apologized and talked quieter, Marlene however, rolled her eyes, and started
talking very loudly. Professor McGonagall had scolded her, but a young Dorcas decided that
they were mortal enemies.

That was until they drunkenly kissed at a party early in their fifth year. The rest of that year
was full of rushed, frantic, kisses that both girls chalked up as hormones. Until one day
Marlene confessed that she'd liked Dorcas since their third year and Dorcas realized she'd
been in love with her from the moment she'd heard her voice.

They started dating and told their friends they were queer. Sirius had already known about
Marlene, but Dorcas hadn't even told Remus, her oldest friend. Mostly because she hadn't
realized what she was queer until Marlene had confessed.

Now, they'd been dating, with only a few bumps, for just around seven months,.Dorcas had
told her family she was queer and they'd taken it wonderfully, and she couldn't wait for what
the future had in store.

"psst, Meadows,"
Dorcas glanced around. She was alone in the corridor next to a broom cupboard.

"Hello?" She asked the air. She was certain someone had called her name. "Is anyone there?"

Two hands darted out of the cupboard and pulled Dorcas in. She yelped before a hand quickly
put itself over her mouth.

Dorcas looked frantically in the eyes of the person who'd grabbed her and immediately
relaxed once she realized it was Marlene.

Her girlfriend had a cocky smirk across her face and was pressing up against Marlene, "Hi
there sweetheart, did I scare you?"

Dorcas shook her head as best she could with Marlene's hand over her mouth. It was a lie, but
Marlene didn't need to know that.

"Good," She whispered, taking her hand away from Dorcas' mouth and leaning forward. Her
other hand had still been clutching her robes, but now it was moving down to her waist. The
hand that had been over Dorcas' mouth cupped her cheek instead, "I didn't want to scare
you,"

She pressed forward, her lips just about to touch Dorcas'. Marlene very clearly wanted
Dorcas to make the next move and who was she to deny her girlfriend what she wanted.

She pressed forward, cupping Marlene's cheek with one hand and fisting her hair with the
other. The other girl responded enthusiastically, pressing Dorcas against the wall of the small
cupboard.

That was something Dorcas loved about Marlene. She brought out her rebellious side.

Dorcas never would have kissed a girl in a broom cupboard before Marlene. She never would
have kissed a girl before Marlene. She never would have failed a test or snapped at a teacher,
or talked about her negative emotions.

Her old friends, before the marauders, would have said Marlene brought out the worst in her.
She supposed she could have understood it, Marlene made her want to yell sometimes, but
really, all she did was give Dorcas room to feel everything.

Marlene loved Dorcas, though they'd never said it, she knew Marlene loved her. And she
loved all of her, not just the perfect picture she'd presented for years. She loved her when she
was angry, sad, snippy, stupid, everything. And Dorcas loved her too.

Marlene squeezed her waist slightly and pulled away, making Dorcas let out a small whine at
the loss of contact. That made Marlene smirk.

"Sorry darling but you've got class,"

Dorcas rolled her eyes and threw her arms around Marlene's shoulders, "Fuck class, I'm
happy right where I am,"
Marlene laughed, and leaned in to kiss her, pausing just before their lips met again, "What
happened to my Dorcas who would sweat buckets if she was even a minute late?"

Dorcas smiled at her, widening her eyes to look innocently at Marlene, "You happened,"

Then she closed the gap, just enjoying kissing her girlfriend.

Her enjoyment lasted all of five seconds before the door of the cupboard opened, surprising
them both and making Marlene jump away.

Dorcas glared at the door, feeling for her wand and wondering if she could cast a good
enough obliviate, but luckily, it was just Peter and Remus.

"Merlin you two!" Peter exclaimed, "That's the second time this has happened!"

Marlene relaxed and Dorcas gave her hand a reassuring squeeze.

Dorcas didn't care what people thought of her anymore, she'd done enough of that in the first
fifteen or so years of her life, now anyone could say anything about her and she wouldn't
care. Marlene was a different story.

She was confident about her sexuality, especially around friends, and if she could be sure that
it would stay in Hogwarts, she would probably prefer to have a public relationship, but they
couldn't be sure.

If Dorcas and Marlene went public, it would get back to Marlene's very traditional parents.
Which was why they were usually very careful.

"Second time?" Remus asked, "You two're a bloody pack of rabbits,"

Marlene stuck her tongue out at Remus and began to step out of the cupboard, leading Dorcas
by the hand, "Shut up Remus, at least we're happy and in a relationship, instead of lonely and
sad,"

"Hey! I am not lonely, sad is accurate though,"

Marlene's eyes widened and filled with worry at Remus' joke but Dorcas and Peter just
shared a glance.

Dorcas moved forward to link her and Remus' arm. They'd grown up a few blocks away from
each other and though they weren't friends until they got to Hogwarts, she was pretty used to
his humour, "You can't be saying jokes like that around James, you know. He'll get worried,"

"I know, I know," He brushed her concerns aside with a halfhearted pat on her arm, "But, to
be fair, James is always worried,"

"And for good reason too!" Peter interjected, "You don't really take care of yourself Moony,"

Remus began to protest and the two marauders launched into a playful argument. Marlene
would interrupt every once in a while to stir the pot and add drama, but Dorcas just listened.
Dorcas was happy.

She had friends who cared about her, and didn't just want her to do their homework. She had
a beautiful girlfriend who wanted to kiss her in broom cupboards. Her grades were good, her
family wrote to her, she was finally beginning to feel confident in her own skin, she'd even
gotten locs over the summer.

Marlene nudged her shoulder gently, smiling at her, "You coming to my match tommorow?
It's against Hufflepuff,"

"After that crushing loss to Slytherin?" Dorcas teased, "I can't believe you'd even show your
face on the pitch again,"

Marlene feigned offense, putting her hand to her chest and dropping her mouth open
dramatically, "Excuse me! Not my fault Black's a good seeker,"

"You could have knocked him off,"

"Sure," Marlene threw her arm over Dorcas' shoulder, "But Sirius would have killed me,"

Dorcas huffed. She didn't understand Sirius and his family. He talked shit about his brother,
and pretended like he was the bane of his existence, but whenever anyone else even
mentioned Regulus' name, he got in a bad mood.

Honestly, she didn't understand any of the marauders apart from Remus and sometimes Peter.

She liked James, but he seemed to be a completely different person depending on who he was
with. In class he was an annoying arse, around Remus he was a mother hen, around Lily he
was an enormous flirt.

Sirius was a different story. He only had two modes, flirt or fucker. They weren't close, but
Marlene said he was one of her favorite people in the world so he had to be something more.
So far, he'd barely spoken to Dorcas if it wasn't to complain about something, or when he
thought she was straight, to flirt with her.

Dorcas liked Peter much more than the other two but he was just as confusing. People made
fun of him for being slow, but he was brilliant at chess and got high marks. He was sweet and
Dorcas had even thought she liked him when she was denying her feelings for Marlene.

Remus was her favorite Marauder which was expected because she'd known him the longest.

They'd grown up in the same small town and her parents and siblings were helping to take
care of his mum now that he wasn't home. She'd known about the werewolf thing since third
year and Remus had always seen through her perfect facade.

Needless to say, she got along much better with people when they weren't too complicated.

Like Mary, Lily and, of course, Marlene.

Mary was easy to understand. She told people what she thought of them, and wasn't sorry for
it. But she was nice as well, and knew when to tone it down.

Lily was similar. She was a bit more closed off than Mary, but once you got to know her, she
was upfront about her emotions. She'd probably tell you what was on her mind if it was
affecting her or you. Dorcas appreciated that, she didn't like being left in the dark.

And then there was Marlene. The most honest, open, and straightforward person Dorcas
knew. She was loud, authentic, and didn't take shit from people. She told you what she was
feeling when she knew she could trust you with it, and she wasn't sorry about it.

God, Dorcas loved her.

"Oh shove off Wormtail," Remus made to push Peter but the smaller boy dodged easily, "We
all need to get to class, the teachers'll be pissed that we're late,"

"Not me," Marlene said proudly, "I've got a note from Madam Pomfrey about missing cause
I've got to get my knee checked out,"

"What happened to your knee?" Peter asked.

"Landed on it weird during practice the other day,"

Dorcas glaced quickly at her knee. Marlene had mentioned it was bothering her, which had
worried Dorcas, but she'd reassured her that it wasn't too bad.

Sensing her worry, Marlene squeezed her hand a little and gave her a reassuring smile, "Don't
worry about it Dorcas, I'm mostly just using it as an excuse to miss transfiguration,"

Dorcas returned her smile., "Maybe I can come with? I wouldn't want you to have to face the
terrifying Poppy Pomfrey on your own,"

Marlene laughed but shook her head, "I'm alright Dorcas. But I should probably get going,"
She waved goodbye to Remus and Peter and gave Dorcas a quick peck on the cheek after
making sure they were alone.

Dorcas sighed as she left and Remus playfully nudged her in the side, "You're done for
Meadowes,"

"Shut up," She turned back to him, "Don't you have a class to attend? And where did Peter
go?"

"Peter had gone on top secret Marauders business, and I'm skipping. It's Charms, I'm not
missing much,"

Dorcas raised her eyebrows, "Top secret marauders business? Does that mean there's a prank
on the way?"

Remus smirked at her. Where had the sweet boy gone? The one who would tattle to teachers
when he saw people passing notes in primary school.
"It is Halloween in about a week,"

Dorcas groaned loudly, overpowering Remus' rebuttals.

"Come on Dorcas! What were we supposed to do? Nothing?"

"Yes!" She complained, "Halloween's a Sunday! And there's a Slytherin vs Ravenclaw match
the day before, everyones already going to be tired,"

"All the more reason to do it,"

Dorcas glared at him, but there really wasn't any heat behind it. Remus may be more
rebellious, which got him in more trouble, now that he was friends with the marauders, but,
like Dorcas, he seemed happier. Even after a bad moon or unfortunate news from home, he
was happiest when with the marauders.

Dorcas' glare faded into a grin as Remus walked her to class. She ended up skipping with
him, McGonagall probably wouldn't mind.

LILY

Lily had done something very, very, very stupid.

Two days ago, she'd had her first rounds with Regulus. Technically, Remus was supposed to
be doing them, but they'd switched, and that had been fine.

Lily didn't hate Regulus, she found him intelligent, although his friends were less than ideal,
apart from Pandora.

The problem came when he'd told her about how obvious he found her current dilemma with
James Potter. He'd guessed it, they'd barely spoken to each other, and he knew.

And that was fine! He'd said he didn't care, and he wouldn't mention it to anyone without her
permission.

That was when she did the stupid thing.

Lily was the type to tell people what was going on in her life. She wasn't like Sirius or Remus
who kept everything inside of them until it exploded, she told the people who mattered what
was wrong and when it was wrong.

However, she was also stubborn and did not like being wrong.

After almost five years of knowing and hating James Potter, she'd been so certain she would
never fall for him. She had been so open and adamant about how awful and annoying he was.
And then he had to go and ruin it by being a charming sweetheart.

So Lily was stuck. She wanted to talk to someone about James because it was tearing her
apart trying to figure out how to tell him, but she could not bear hearing Mary, Marlene or
Remus say 'I told you so'.
Sirius was an option but he was stressed enough about Remus, Peter couldn't keep a secret,
Dorcas wouldn't like to keep it from Marlene, and she obviously couldn't tell James, so she
was running out of friends.

And then Regulus had turned up. He knew what was going on, he wouldn't tell anyone and if
he did, Lily could just deny it. He was perfect, so she'd asked him to be her advice person.

He'd turned her down at first, but Lily had pushed and he'd eventually said he'd think about it.

And now Lily was here, on the third floor waiting for him to show up and see if he'd decided
if he was going to help her or not.

She'd spent the past two days fretting over it. They'd only really seen each other once, in
potions, and he'd spent most of that class scribbling devoutly in his notebook.

"Afternoon Evans,"

The boy in question rounded the corner looking much more put together then he had been
looking recently.

"Afternoon Regulus, ready to start?"

He nodded, walking ahead of her. Lily waited for him to broach the subject but as time
stretched, Regulus stayed silent.

They made it until the middle of the fourth floor corridor when Lily finally spoke, "How have
you been?"

"Fine,"

Lily closed her eyes, she wasn't religious, but at that moment, she prayed god would have
mercy on her, saving her from this awkward encounter.

"Have you thought about what I asked?"

Regulus glanced sideways at her, "Yeah and I-" He cut himself off mid sentence, stalking
over to a portrait on the wall. It was the same one he'd been focused on the other day. "Putain
de merde," he breathed.

Lily was not fluent in French, but her father had taught her a few phrases, enough to get by,
and she recognized Regulus' words as a curse, "Everything alright?" She asked.

Regulus was staring exasperatedly at the portrait on the wall. It was still empty, but Lily
didn't think that was a big deal. Paintings moved, they were supposed to be empty sometimes.

Regulus seemed upset at it though, and Lily stepped forward, placing a comforting hand on
his shoulder.

They stood there for a moment as Regulus continued to glare at the empty portrait as if
staring would make someone appear. Eventually Lily cleared her throat, and tugged lightly
on Regulus' robes.

"We should get going,"

"Course," he muttered. He didn't seem focused anymore, which Lily took as a bad sign.

Lily took a breath, "So about what I asked the other day,"

Regulus didn't meet her eyes, if anything, he seemed to speed up and avoid looking at her,
"Oh right, I'm not doing it,"

Lily groaned, she was already embarrassed enough that he knew, the very least he could do to
pay her back would be listening to her, "Please Regulus? I need someone! Believe me, if I
had any other option I'd ask them,"

"No,"

"Please? I'll owe you!"

Regulus paused at that, turning to examine her, "What are you willing to do?"

Lily brightened, that was progress! "Homework? I'm pretty good at potions,"

Regulus shook his head, eyeing her up and down thoughtfully, "Stay still for me,"

Lily was a bit taken aback, but did as he said anyway. Regulus began to walk around her, it
felt like she was being analyzed. He looked her up and down and she felt strange, vulnerable
under his gaze.

"How long can you be still?" He asked. He sounded very matter-of-fact and it sent a small
shiver up her spine.

"I don't know, a while I think,"

He hummed from behind her, then came back into her line of vision. She'd done what he
asked, not even turning to look at him, her only movement being the up and down of her
chest that came with breathing.

"Alright," He said, finally meeting her eyes, "I'll help you with Potter, on a condition,"

Lily brightned, a smile across her face, "Really?"

"Yeah, but you'll do something for me,"

"Sure," The fingers of her left hand twitched, "Can I move now?"

"Hm? Oh yeah, go ahead,"

They started walking again with Regulus in the front. They made it to the steps to the fifth
floor when Lily broke the silence again.
"So what do you need me to do?"

Regulus didn't turn back to look at her as he spoke, choosing instead to march up the steps,
"Remember the painting I was looking at?"

Lily nodded.

"Well the daughter, her name's Julietta, was my model. I've been using her as a reference for
a painting I'm doing and she's suddenly disappeared," He explained, "So, I need a new
model,"

Lily began to connect the dots in her head, "And that's where I come in?"

"Yes," He shot her a quick glance, probably just making sure she was still there, "You and
Juliietta have a familiar build so you should work well,"

Lily swallowed, "And what-?" She felt her face heat up, "What would you need me to wear?"

"Not your robes that's for sure," Regulus scoffed and Lily felt her throat tighten, "It depends
on the day, form fitting clothes or a dress if that's what I'm working on,"

Lily exhaled in relief, she didn't mind modeling and she was confident in how she looked, but
she was not going to be naked infront of Regulus Black, thank you very much.

"I think I can do that. When? And also where?"

"Whenever, honestly. And I'll find us a place,"

Lily nodded, "And now I can rant about James?"

Regulus looked at her distastefully, but nodded and she started talking.

He was clearly judging her, but she didn't mind. That was another good part of asking
Regulus about this, she didn't really care what he thought of her, he would be a completely
blank slate.

JAMES

After two successful tutoring sessions, James was feeling much better both about his potions
mark and Regulus.

He'd looked a bit off in the first lesson, but by the second he was back to his perfect self.
Regulus had shown up with clear skin, a tidy uniform, and neat hair. He'd been as nice as
James had expected him to be, which is to say, not.

When James had relayed all this information to Sirius, the other boy had been skeptical. They
were still discussing it as they made the trek up the stairs to Gryffindor tower after finished
their meal in the great hall.
"What, so he's just fine after days of looking pasty and exhausted? I don't buy it Prongs,"

James sighed, "Maybe he was stressed, or just not sleeping well. Not everything has to be a
thing,"

"But what would he be stressed about?" Sirius insisted, "Or why would he not be sleeping
well?"

James shrugged, "Hormones?" He offered and Sirius looked at him, flabbergasted. He even
paused on the steps. James stared back at him.

"What?" He asked innocently.

Sirius shook his head and started walking again, "I don't want to ever talk about my brothers
hormones,"

"Hey!" James protested, "I was just offering an option, Padfoot, don't shoot the messenger,"

They arrived at the portrait of the fat lady and gave her the password. Alice and Frank were
in the common room, bent over some books. They looked up when Sirius and James came in
and waved at them. The boys returned the wave and sat down on the sofa by the fire.

Sirius sat in one corner and James took the other one. Sirius immediately curled his knees up
under himself and stared at the fire.

"I just want him to be okay, you know?" He spoke softly, if James weren't so close to him, he
wouldn't have even heard it. But he was close, so he scooted over and nudged Padfoots leg
with his own.

"He will be," James sympathized, "As long as you're there for him, he will be,"

Sirius looked away from James, into the fire, and he felt that Sirius wanted James to shut up.

He pulled his potions notebook out of his bag. He didn't have Regulus' anymore- he'd
returned it yesterday- but now that his notes were separated, it was a game changer. He
should really start doing this with all his notes.

He read for a bit, just revising, when he felt the couch indent. Remus was there, he didn't
have his books or anything with him, but he looked happy.

"You two mind coming up to the dorm? Pete and I have got something to show you," His
eyes twinkled when he spoke and Sirius and James shared a look, the latter perking up.

"I think we can do that for our Moony, don't you Padfoot?"

"I agree Prongs, let's get going,"

Alice and Frank didn't notice them when they passed, too enraptured by each other, which
was probably a good thing because anyone with eyes could tell the marauders were up to
something.
They scampered up to their dorm and found Peter there, a box of various knick-knacks spread
in front of him.

James and Sirius shared a glee filled look, sitting down across from Peter on the floor.

"Have I ever told you two how much I love you?" James asked, admiring the assortment of
strange liquids and bobbles curated by Peter and Remus.

"You could stand to do it more," Peter replied cheekily, a flush rising to his face.

"Focus Prongs," Remus chided, taking his place in between Peter and Sirius, "We still need to
make sure the prank works. Sirius, how did the test go?"

Sirius perked up at his name, "Brilliant, I checked it when Prongs was in tutoring today, they
were still gone,"

"Good," Remus said and began to examine the things Peter had brought them, "Now we just
need to figure out a way to get the students out of their common rooms without drawing
suspicion,"

"Maybe if we can lock the doors?" Peter suggested.

"How are we gonna lock a door opened by answering a question?"

"... Good point,"

All four boys fell into a lull of silence as they racked their brains trying to think of what to
do.

Just then, the creak of the door made James jump and he turned around to see who it was.

The girls were standing there. Mary had her arms crossed and was eyeing the pile in front of
them.

James grinned sheepishly at them, "Would you believe us if we said it was potions
homework?"

"No," They chorused.

"Didn't think so,"

The two groups stared at each other awkwardly when Marlene sighed and moved to sit next
to them.

"Alright, tell us what you're planning,"

"Marlene!" Lily exclaimed, "We can't just let it happen,"

"All due respect Lils," Marlene said, "When have they ever been stopped?" She turned to
face them, and the rest of the girls took a seat. The marauders made room for all of them,
even Lily sat down though she said it was just to make sure they didn't take things too far.

The gist of the prank was this.

On the evening of Halloween, which was a sunday, everyone would be ousted from their
common room and forced to sleep in the great hall. The next morning they'd wake up to
thousands of screaming portraits, plastered all over the walls and the people in them made
invisible through a tricky charm used to hide things.

"How does the spell on the portraits work?" Dorcas asked.

Sirius paused his explanation to glance at Moony who nodded, giving him permission to spill
his secrets, "Well, Moony came up with a way of sort of glitching out the paintings.
Basically, we catch them in a scream, apply a spell, and they'll be stuck in a loop,"

"Sort of like a scratched record," Remus added.

Dorcas furrowed her brow, "Won't that hurt them?"

Remus shook his head, "We tested it on a portrait on the fourth floor, it was a family and
none of them even realized it was happening, it felt like a second to them,"

"Why can't you just set off dung bombs or something? To get them out of their dorms I
mean," Mary asked.

"We've done it too many times," James explained, "It's boring,"

"Only you would think dung bombs are boring," Mary said, crinkling up her nose.

The group stayed up late, trying to think of ideas to get them out of their rooms.

Moony suggested blowing out the plumbing, but it was impractical and also drastic. Sirius
proposed letting loose animals but it would be too easy to get rid of. As the night when on the
idea got less and less frequent and more and more ridiculous.

James was lying down on the floor, staring up at the ceiling, trying to think of something
interesting.

"Maybe we rig the entrances?" He offered only to be met with silence. James brought his
head off the floor to gauge the reaction of his friends, but it looked like all of them had fallen
asleep.

Marlene was leaning against Sirius' bed frame and Dorcas had her head in her lap. Mary was
sprawled across the floor in what seemed to be a very uncomfortable position. Peter had
managed to make it to his bed but not under the covers. His head was also at the foot of his
bed for some reason. Sirius and Remus were curled into each other which James found very
sweet and Lily was in a similar situation to Mary.

James sighed and walked over to Mary, scooping her up in his arms. She relaxed instantly
and he put her down in James' bed.
 He went to pick up Lily as well, resting her right next to Mary. She also responded well to
James picking her up and curled into his body which made James blush. A lot.

Moving Dorcas and Marlene was harder as they were clinging to each other, but once he got
them into Sirius' bed, they just melted back into their original positions. James smiled at that,
they were an adorable couple. Marlene seemed a lot happier now that she was with Dorcas.

Sirius was easy to pick up, he was around James' height (though James was taller), but
Remus was lanky so James had a harder time. Eventually he got them in Remus' bed and
they, like Marlene and Dorcas, went limp in each other's arms.

Finally, James pushed Peter so that he was both under the blankets and his head was on his
pillow instead of his feet being there.

He'd done a pretty good job. Everyone looked comfortable and happy, and most importantly,
they were still asleep.

James quickly cleaned up the box of things Peter had brought and made a small space on the
floor where he could sleep. He stole a pillow from Peter and a blanket from Remus and
closed his eyes, letting the soft lulls of exhaustion drag him to rest.

Chapter End Notes

I got to use the word 'flabbergasted' in this chapter so I'm pretty happy with it.

Hopefully the prank is okay, I'm kinda shite at pranks so I did my best.

Putain de merde is a french expression that expresses frustration. Its closest english
counterpart would probably be son of a bitch.

Thanks you so much for reading! I really love seeing your comments, they motivate me
so much to keep writing.
 The Tiring Consequences of Agreements
Chapter Summary

Regulus and James have potions, Regulus and Lily have painting.

Chapter Notes

Maybe a bit of implied self harm in this chapter? Its less than a line honestly and not
purposful.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

REGULUS

Gryffindor had won the Quidditch match on the weekend, putting them in second right after
Slytherin.

Hufflepuff had played well, they had strong beaters and a great keeper, but McKinnon had hit
a bludger knocking out one of their chasers which put them at a huge disadvantage. Potter
closed the point gap quick enough and their seeker caught the snitch about an hour into the
game.

Gryffindor had celebrated by throwing a party which most of Regulus' friends attended. That
meant on Sunday, he'd been unable to get anything done, as Evan and Barty had him brew
them both pepper-up potions. Pandora, at least, hadn't needed his help because she was
actually competent and didn't depend on other people to do things for her.

It was Monday afternoon, Regulus would need to head out for a tutoring session with Potter
soon but for now, he was just sitting in the common room with Elizabeth, Evan, Barty, and
Joston.

Evan had apologized to Regulus on Friday and Regulus had easily accepted. Now that Potter
wasn't occupying his every thought, he really had no reason to be upset with Evan.

Barty hadn't apologized but they'd returned to how they were.

Barty and Regulus didn't apologize to each other, they just got annoyed enough with Evan
that they had to turn to the other to keep themselves sane.

Currently, Barty and Joston were having some debate over which Quidditch position they
could do without (obviously beaters in Regulus' opinion), and it was getting tedious.
"If you have a shit keeper, then there's no point to them!" Barty argued.

"That could be said about any position!"

Regulus sighed. After his potions session with Potter he was going to meet Evans in an
unused classroom on the seventh floor for his first painting session with her. He was a bit
miffed about not being able to paint in the Come and Go room anymore, but he still liked it
that that place was private, just for him and Pandora.

"Oh Regulus I meant to ask you," Elizabeth leaned over to him, "How have your rounds been
going? Mine have been shit,"

Regulus shrugged, "Fine, I've only been with Lily for some reason, but I'll be with everyone
next week. Didn't you just start today?"

"Yeah," Elizabeth shuddered, "I've only been with Xenophilius and he is the most boring
person I've ever had the misfortune of speaking to. He went on about something called
'Knargles' for almost the entire time, it was dreadful,"

Regulus frowned, "What are Knargles? I haven't heard about them in Care of Magical
Creatures,"

"Ask Xenophilius, I stopped listening after about five minutes and started teaching myself to
recite the alphabet backwards,"

Regulus smirked, as she began to demonstrate getting all the way to J before pausing and
staring questioningly at the sky.

"That's as far as I've learnt, but I'll get the rest by the end of the week I think,"

Evan groaned suddenly, drawing the attention of the group.

"What is it Evan?" Regulus asked.

"I just don't understand how I, an attractive, interesting, and charming person, managed to
end up with such a boring friend group?"

Regulus rolled his eyes, "Because you're an prat, no one else would take you,"

Evan stuck his tongue out but seemed happy. Regulus chastised himself internally, if there
was one thing Evan loved more than anything in the world, it was attention.

"Seriously, I'm on the verge of drowning myself in the lake if someone doesn't start some
interesting conversations,"

Barty sighed, leaning back into the cushions. He was a bit red from his argument with Joston
but she seemed unfazed.

"How's your tutoring going, Regulus? Potter giving you a good headache?"
Regulus frowned. Honestly, after only having four sessions with Potter, his opinion of the
other boy had changed drastically. He was no longer having strange thoughts about him,
however, he was beginning to look forward to their sessions. Today, in transfiguration, he'd
found himself looking at Potter. Regulus had even smiled when he realized James was using
a different notebook than before.

"Yeah, he's a bother but its good credits,"

Joston hummed from her place on the couch, "Severus was complaining about you taking his
chance the other day, bit of a dick move Reg, he needs it more than you do,"

Regulus shrugged, glancing up at the clock. He should probably get down to Slughorn's class
soon, "I'd rather not have to deal with Mulciber in class, he's dim,"

Joston raised her eyebrows, "Still, you're a Black, you don't need the credits. Severus doesn't
have your luck,"

You think I'm so lucky? Regulus thought bitterly, Why don't we switch mothers for a day?

"I suppose, but he probably wouldn't have given Potter proper lessons, he's biased. And I
saved Evans from having to sit next to him,"

Joston pursed her lips, "Don't pretend like you did it for the good of Lily or James. You were
being selfish Regulus,"

Regulus blinked at her, taken aback. Why was she so upset over this? It wasn't as if Snape
was making a big deal anymore, so why did she care?

"Sorry," He said awkwardly, "What did you want me to do about it now?"

"Nothing," She muttered, sitting back in her seat and staring into the fire. It cracked and
sparked, filling the awkward silence that had fallen on the group.

"Well," Barty said, trying to smooth over the tension, "I think Evans should be grateful to
you, maybe you could cash in a favour?" He winked at Regulus which made him scrunch his
nose up at the implication or something sexual.

Elizabeth reacted similarly, "Disgusting, Crouch,"

"What?" He protested smirking, "She's not half bad for a mudblo-"

"Finish that sentence Crouch and you're off the team," Joston snapped, her head turning
quickly to look at him. She had a fury in her eyes that made Regulus shrink back in his seat
and Barty go white.

The silence stretched as Barty and Joston stared at each other. Elizabeth leaned her head back
on the chair she was sitting on, making an exaggerated face of annoyance.

Regulus stared down at his hands, he'd started picking at the skin around his index finger
without realizing it and there was a scab starting to form. It hurt a bit to press on, and so
Regulus did, just to distract himself from the tension that reminded him far too much of
Christmas dinners at Grimmauld place.

Barty cleared his throat awkwardly, "Sorry Daisy," None of them liked using Joston's first
name, it just felt too formal for their captain, "Forgot you were there,"

"Why should it matter?" She demanded, her gaze trained on Barty like a hawk. She seemed
determined to catch his eye and he seemed determined to avoid hers.

"Just didn't realize it would be such a big deal," he mumbled.

Joston sat back in her seat, resignation overtaking her features, "Of course you didn't," Her
voice was clipped. Regulus thought she might be upset, "I'm going to my dorm,"

"Oh come on Daisy," Evan protested, "He didn't mean anything by it,"

She glared at him, which shut him up quickly, "Then he shouldn't say it," She turned her gaze
to Regulus and Elizabeth, who quickly looked away, "Anything from you two?"

Neither of them answered. Regulus began to pick at his skin even more, it would probably
start bleeding later.

"Thought so," Regulus thought she might have seemed disappointed for a moment, before
she turned on her heel and stalked up the steps.

The group wallowed in the quiet before Elizabeth stood up, "Way to go Crouch, now she'll be
pissy,"

Barty began to stammer a response, but Elizabeth held up her hand to shut him up, "Enough,
I'm leaving as well, Regulus is the only interesting one left and he's going, probably now
actually," She turned to him, "Don't you have tutoring?"

He glanced at the clock, it was ten to four. They were supposed to be meeting at 4:15 and
Regulus had wanted to get there early to set up. They'd be brewing another potion today,
instead of theory like they’d been doing and Regulus was planning to have James actually do
something.

"Yeah, I'm heading out now," He stood, sending a quick wave to his friends before darting up
the stairs.

JAMES

James was rushing to Slughorn's classroom, dodging students and teachers as he ran.

He'd completely forgotten about tutoring, and he'd told Regulus he wasn't going to be late
anymore. They'd pushed back their meeting today because James had offered to help Sirius
with some homework. Now he was dashing down some slimy steps so that he didn't
disappoint Regulus.
James didn't like disappointing Regulus, he gave James this unpleasant stare that made him
feel inferior.

He opened the door triumphantly, he'd arrived at 4:14, a minute before he was supposed to be
there.

Regulus glanced up casually when he came in, "Oh hello," He looked up at the clock, "You're
on time,"

"Nope!" James marched proudly into the classroom, throwing his bag in a corner and himself
down on a chair, "I'm early,"

"Exactly," Regulus didn't look at James as he spoke, he was measuring an ingredient out
carefully and his hair came just in front of his eyes, "Early is on time, on time is late,"

James scrunched up his nose, "Thats dumb,"

"You only think that because you're never on time,"

He sighed and finally looked at James which ended up being a bit of a problem as Regulus
had a very distracting stare.

James didn't fancy him or anything, but Regulus had these eyes that felt otherworldly. The
reflection of light made them look neptunic, like a planet with swirls of white, grey and blue.
And he never looked away from you either. He held your gaze until you dropped it and James
was never one to back away from a challenge so they spent a large portion of their lessons
just looking at each other.

"We're brewing a Draught of Living Death today, it's fairly complex but if we're patient, we
should be alright," Regulus said, breaking eye contact. That disappointed James and he
resolved to make sure Regulus paid close attention to him for the rest of their lesson.

When Regulus tried to add the Infusion of Wormwood, James put his face close to Regulus',
making the other boy flush a deep red. When Regulus tried to get James to cut up the
Sopophorous beans, James put Regulus' hands over his own. His excuse was that he needed
help to do it, but really, he just wanted to see how Regulus would react.

Regulus was very fun to get reactions out of. Usually, his face was set in judgment or
disappointment, but whenever James pushed him, just a bit, he'd dissolve into a puddle of
bashfulness. James didn't even think Regulus was aware of how easily flustered he was, that
was part of the fun.

"So we just stir it then sunshine?"

Regulus glared at him, but his cheeks were tinted. Adorable. "Stop calling me that, and yes,
you stir it seven times, counter-clockwise,"

James nodded, the potion had taken on a strange pink tone and had a weird smell to it. "Is it
supposed to smell like unwashed laundry?" He asked, pinching his nose with the hand that
wasn't stirring.
"Yes, until we add the lavender,"

James groaned internally. He'd done the stirring Regulus had told him to do and now he was
just standing by a cauldron that smelled disgusting. Regulus had his back to him, he was
cutting up the lavender and crushing some peppermint. He didn't know why Regulus was
doing the second thing, Draught of Living Death didn't need any peppermint.

James wondered if hugging him from behind would be taking it too far. Sure he'd been
flirting, but mostly as a joke, and he didn't want Regulus to think he was actually interested
and get uncomfortable. His heart still belonged to Lily.

"Speaking of hearts," He mumbled, a thought entering his mind, "Hey sunshine?"

"What?"

James stepped beside the other boy, getting in his line of vision. Regulus wasn't paying much
attention though, so James flicked his forehead. That made Regulus glare at him, his curls
resting against the red spot appearing on his front.

"What was that for?!" He demanded.

"I wanted attention," James responded simply, then hopped up on the counter, "Anyways can
we brew Amortentia sometime? I've been meaning to try it,"

Regulus went back to his cutting, "Fine, but Pandora is sitting in on that lesson,"

James frowned, "The freaky one with glasses?"

Regulus began to cut the lavender with much more force and James got the feeling he'd said
something wrong, "She's not freaky," He snipped, "But yes, her,”

James raised his hands defensively, "Sorry, I didn't mean anything dickish by it. She's just a
strange one,"

Regulus didn't answer him, just kept chopping that lavender. At this point, James thought it
might be in shreds. Ultimately, James decided the quiet was too much for him and hopped off
the counter.

"Why are you crushing those peppermints? We don't need them right?"

He wasn't looking at Regulus, instead he began to explore Slughorn's desk. There were a few
vials of things that James would never expect to find at a school, and some knuts that he
pocketed just for the fun of it.

"No, but my friend likes them,"

James raised his eyebrows, looking over at Regulus. He'd moved back to the potion and was
sprinkling some lavender in. James smirked and went to his side, pressing his side against
Regulus'.
"What friends do you have that eat crushed peppermint?"

"Kinsy," He said irritably, "She's a house elf,"

James blinked. Regulus didn't seem like the type to have house elf friends, he didn't seem like
the type to have friends at all to be completely frank, but certainly not ones that are often
characterized as less than by wizards.

"She's very smart," Regulus added, "She's trying to teach herself proper grammar actually. I
got her a book for Christmas this year and Pandora says she's learning quickly"

"But it's October?" James questioned.

Regulus blushed, and looked away from James, as if he'd let something slip he didn't mean
to, "It was very early,"

James knew that wasn't the whole story, but didn't push. Regulus could get people gifts
whenever he wanted.

Suddenly Regulus' eyes widened and he grabbed James by the tie, pulling him under the
desk.

"Regulus? What-?"

Just as James spoke, he heard a loud pop from above him followed by the crash of a cauldron
and the splatter of a liquid James could only assume to be their potion on the walls.

James glanced down at Regulus, who was staring, wide eyed, around the room

"How'd you know that was going to happen?" He asked, although it was difficult to focus on
the answer. Regulus had eyes like the ocean. James couldn't place what it was that was so
captivating about them. The greys and blues in his eyes seemed to blend together in an
amalgamation of colour and coldness. They held a sense of longing behind them, itching to
show itself from behind that distant exterior.

It seemed to James that Regulus' eyes were the most true part about him.

"The potion went black," Regulus answered calmly, he began to crawl out from under the
desk, careful to avoid the splatters of black goo, "Did you follow the recipe right?"

James nodded and followed Regulus.

The damage was so much worse than it had sounded.

James didn't think they'd made that much, but it looked like there was a Draught of Living
Death across every corner of the room. Slughorn's papers were covered in the goo, which
James imagined screwed up a few potion marks. The benches, tables, walls, even the shelves
of cauldrons, which were very far from where Regulus and James had been brewing, had
splatters of black over them.
"What did we do?" James said, awestruck. He walked over to a bench and stuck his finger in
the mushy liquid, it was cold and hot to the touch at the same time.

"I have something," Regulus breathed, he quickly went to the back of the class, grabbing a
bucket of something. When James looked in it, it was just water.

"What's this for?" James asked, somehow he doubted water would solve their problems.

But Regulus wasn't done. He went over to Slughorn's desk and began to sift through his
drawers until he stood up triumphantly, a small, barely full flask in his hands.

He had nice hands. Very thin and boney, with long fingers. James had always thought his own
hands were stubby, and Regulus just proved that. They seemed graceful, as much as hands
could be that, like they were created to dance and twirl.

James thought that if hands could do pirouettes, Regulus' would.

Regulus used his dancers hands to uncork the vial and pour the contents into the bucket. The
water started to thicken and took on a buttery yellow colour. Regulus grabbed his wand,
muttering a spell, and the contents of the buckets began to disperse around the room. They
rested over the black mess and absorbed it, like a sponge might've. Then, all the liquid
gathered together in a ball of black and yellow and Regulus directed it back to the bucket.

"Wicked," James breathed, staring in awe at Regulus, "What was that?"

Regulus flushed again, "It was just a clean-all potion. I know Slughorn keeps some in his
desk but it looks like we used the last of it. I would have cleaned it up normally, but Asphodel
powder and the essence of wormwood mixed together is very tricky to get out. Takes at least
a day without one of the potions,,"

That interested James, and an idea began to form in his mind, "Yeah? What made it explode
like that?"

Regulus shrugged, he was picking at his nails, James noticed, "I'm not sure, the juice of
Sopophorous beans can be an explosive but there was nothing in that potion that would make
it react like that. The only strange thing would be the peppermint, but that wouldn't have done
that,"

James looked at Regulus' fingers again. They were really thin, and long as well. The veins on
his hands weren't pronounced, instead they looked smooth. He had a bit of blood on his
thumb and that contrast made James think of a muggle fairy tail and smile.

Hang on, blood on his thumb.

"Hey sunshine?"

"Hm?"

"Could blood make it react strangely?"

Regulus looked confused, until James stepped forward, grabbing Regulus' right hand with
both of his and holding it up for them both to see clearly.

"Oops," James teased.

Regulus' hands were cold to the touch and as smooth as James as expected, except for around
his nails which were rough and calloused. James liked the feel of Regulus' hands in his, but
he liked the look of it even more.

James' hands were a bit large, not weirdly big, but normal for someone as tall as he was.
Regulus's hands were proportional to his body, which is to say, they were very small. Regulus
was very small. James hadn't really taken note of that until now. He'd noticed of course, but
he hadn't appreciated it.

"Ah, sorry," Regulus whispered. The energy in the room had become tense but a nice tense.
James liked tense, he knew tense, but this tense was different.

"You don't have to apologize for bleeding, sunshine, it's a bodily function,"

Regulus held James' gaze, merlin, he was distracting.

He always liked pretty eyes. Lily, for example, had gorgeous green eyes. They were the first
thing James had loved about her. The only other person James had held feelings for was
Remus. Just a quick crush in their third year, but Remus had lovely eyes as well, they were a
golden hazel colour that reminded James of a fire blazing on Christmas eve.

Regulus' eyes were something else. They could be compared to thousands of different
wonders, a storm or a tsunami, a cloud or a meadow, but they seemed to change colour
everytime James looked at them. They were the grey of a wolf's fur, then the blue of ice, then
a combination of every colour. His eyes became a canvas for James to envision infinite
colours.

Regulus looked at James with his many hued eyes and James felt his heart hammer in his
chest.

"You okay?" He murmured, examining Regulus' injury more closely. He took hold of his
other hand as well, even though it didn't seem to be bleeding.

All of his fingers had marks from where he'd torn them apart and it made James wince. He
wondered if it hurt, if Regulus even realized he was doing it.

"Fine," Regulus said, "I'm used to it,"

He didn't pull his hands away, which James took as a sign to push a bit more. He laced his
fingers with Regulus', carefully admiring the ridges and bumps that ran along them. His
hands were pliant in James, he allowed James to move them according to his will, like a doll.

Regulus was like a doll. He had sharp, sculpted features and porcelain skin. Every inch of
him felt to James like it was crafted carefully to demonstrate the perfect of man. But then you
looked closer and you saw how his cheekbones weren't sharp, they were sickly, his skin
wasn’t porcelain, it was pasty.

"You shouldn't get used to it. It looks like you might have scars," James said, his voice barely
above a whisper. He wondered what other scars Regulus had. His gaze drifted away from
Regulus' face and rested on his collarbone. Regulus wasn't wearing his robe today, he just had
on a billowy white shirt and some black trousers. The shirt had a bit of a v to it, and so James
could see the beginning of a scar on his chest.

He wanted to see where that scar ended.

Suddenly, Regulus gasped and looked behind him, losing his balance and sitting down on a
bench.

James hadn't realized he'd been walking towards Regulus and Regulus had been walking
back. That shook him out of his stupor and he blinked, letting Regulus' hands drop to his side.

"Sorry!" he exclaimed, stepping back.

"No! It's fine," Regulus reassured, standing up quickly and brushing imaginary dust off his
clothes, "Just- I-," He took a breath and met James' gaze again, making James' breath catch in
his throat.

"I should go,"

And he was gone before James could get a word out.

Then came back in, grabbed the peppermints and his wand and waved a hasty goodbye to
James. Just as he was about to leave, he paused by the door and looked at James again.

"We'll brew the Amortentia on Wednesday, I'd like to do more notes tomorrow,"

James nodded, clearing his throat, "Yeah, sure that sounds great,"

"Good," Regulus stood there awkwardly, "Well, bye," Then he was gone again.

This time, he didn't come back and James was left wondering where that scar ended.

LILY

Turns out, modeling was a much easier job than Lily had expected.

Regulus had told her to arrive in a seventh floor classroom at 5:30 wearing skin tight
clothing. When she'd gotten there, he was already setting everything up.

Now Lily was kneeling on the floor, studying for a Defense Against the Dark Arts exam.
Regulus had said as long as she didn't move, she could do whatever she liked, so she'd
charmed the pages to flip at certain intervals. She'd wanted to talk to him about James, but
when she'd tried to talk he'd glared at her.

"Do you mind looking up?"

She looked at him. He had a thoughtful expression on his face and his head was tilted.

"Yeah sure,"

She looked to the ceiling. It was boring, but she hadn't expected anything different. Maybe
she could charm her book to levitate.

"Look down a bit,"

She did as he asked.

"Up a bit,"

He continued making small adjustments to her position before sighing and standing up,
walking towards her. He crouched so that their faces were lined up, meeting her eyes. He had
pretty eyes, Lily noticed. She'd always thought they were grey, but they seemed almost blue
in this lighting.

"Do you mind if I adjust you?"

Lily nodded wordlessly.

He lifted a hand, gently placing his fingers under her chin. He moved her head so that it was
tilted towards the sky, but not as much as it had been before.

He had smooth skin, but it was cold and would have made Lily shiver if she wasn't so
focused on being still.

Regulus moved his hand away but his brow was still furrowed, "May I move the rest of you
as well?" He asked.

Lily almost nodded before stopping herself, she didn't want to mess up his placement of her,
"Yeah, sure," her voice came out as more of a whisper than anything else, and Lily felt her
face heat up.

The corners of his mouth quirked, and he stood back up, circling her. She began to lose track
of where he was as his hands danced across her.

She would feel them tap her back, making it curve. She would move her shoulders so they
faced the floor, her legs so they were splayed out underneath her.

He asked every time he touched her, and she would breathe out a yes. When he finally stood
in front of her again, a pleased smile on his face, Lily felt more like a painting than she ever
had before.
She felt sculpted. Like she should be in a temple and worshiped. Regulus' careful touches, his
soft questions, his revering gaze, they burnt Lily. They bleed into her skin, burrowing their
way under her bones and muscles, powering her every breath.

She was kneeling before him, she should feel weak or fragile, but she didn't.

Lily exhaled softly, staring up at Regulus. He looked back at her, a strange cloud passing over
his face.

"Sorry you can't read anymore," He said, turning away from her and walking back to his
canvas.

"That's alright," She answered, her voice sounding strange to her ears. It felt disconnected.

"You can talk about Potter if you'd like, that was the agreement,"

Lily blinked. She was still riding on the strange high she'd felt a few moments ago, but James
would ground her again. That was reassuring.

"Sure," She began to talk about him. Regulus would respond with small hums and noises of
agreement but her voice filled the room for the most part.

She talked about James' kindness, how he'd put them all in beds and slept on the floor. She
talked about his smile, how it filled her chest with a rare warmth. She talked about the harsh
lilts in his voice, about the sweet caresses of his hand on hers, about his ever present gaze on
the back of her head in transfiguration.

Regulus was easy to talk to. He sat, the scratch of his charcoal a constant background noise,
and listened. He didn't interrupt unless she asked his opinion, which he gave reluctantly.
Eventually, the strange fire she had felt after he'd moved her began to subside, becoming a
tingle in the back of her mind.

"I think I'm done for today Lily,"

He didn't say her first name often, so it sounded strange in his flat tones, but nice.

"Can I move?" She asked, almost hoping he would say no. She liked feeling like a sculpture,
she liked how Regulus looked at her, curious and awestruck.

"Yeah. Thank you, you did brilliantly,"

Lily keened at the praise and began to move. Her knees and neck had begun to cramp from
being bent for so long. She checked the clock. It was almost 8, they'd missed most of supper.

Regulus caught her looking and smiled sheepishly, "Sorry, I wasn't expecting to take so long.
But it was a very productive session,"

Lily stood up, stretching her body out. She hoped Regulus wouldn't have her in that position
again, it had felt nice when her mind was muddling by his gaze, but now that she was
standing, she was sore and achy.
"Would you like to see what I did?" He asked, and Lily brightened, bouncing over to him in
excitement.

The portrait wasn't what she expected.

Regulus hadn't told her what it was he was painting and she hadn't asked but now, she wished
she had.

It wasn't finished, not even close, but she could very clearly see three distinct figures.

The first wasn't even really a figure, just a shadow that loomed behind another figure. It was
the least finished part of the painting.

The second figure was much more complete, but lacked detail. Lily could tell it was meant to
be a woman, on one knee, cupping the face of the third figure.

The last figure, and the crux of the piece, was a woman. She was kneeling on the floor, in the
same position Lily had been moments before. She was crying and her clothes were torn all
around her. Her face didn't look much like Lily's, mostly because it had no features, but her
body was very clearly modeled after Lily. It shared the outward curve of her stomach and had
the same details she had on her own skin.

When she was younger, Lily hated her body. Petunia had always been thin and teased Lily for
her thick thighs and plump torso. She was long past being insecure about how she looked, she
loved herself and her body, but there was always a faint murmur in the back of her mind that
sounded like her mother and sister.

Regulus had drowned the voice. He'd made her curves look elegant, her stomach look
desirable, her thighs look delicate.

"You made me beautiful," She murmured. Her hand was extended towards the painting, she
didn't touch it though, she didn't want to smudge his work.

She felt Regulus' gaze on her but she didn't return the look. She was entranced by the portrait.
She hadn't thought anyone could see her like this. Even James, who showered Lily in all the
praise in the world, couldn't create her on a paper, putting her on display for anyone to see.

"I didn't make you anything," Regulus responded softly and Lily looked at him. He was
shorter than her which forced him to tilt his head just a bit to make eye contact with her, "I
just painted you,"

Lily turned back to the canvas, staring in wonder.

"That-" Regulus gestured to the figure, "-is all you. You just are beautiful,"

Lily swallowed, stepping away from the canvas, and smiling down at Regulus, "Thank you
Regulus. You're very talented,"

Regulus blushed and stepped away from her, putting his things in his bag, "It's not much. You
should see Pandora's work,"
"I'll have to look sometime. Hey, what are you doing with this?" She motioned to the canvas
as she spoke.

Regulus looked at where she was pointing and his mouth formed into an 'o' once he realized,
"Ah, right. I'll just leave it here, no one comes in here anyway,"

Lily nodded, glancing around the room. She hadn't brought anything besides herself, and so
didn't need to pack anything up like Regulus did.

She checked the clock again, only a few minutes had passed, but she didn't think she would
go to the great hall. Most people would have already finished eating by now. Then she got an
idea, and turned to Regulus who had just glamoured the painting and looked about ready to
go.

"You want to come down to the kitchens with me?" She offered.

Regulus began to chew his lip, "I should get back, I have to study,"

"Sure," Lily compromised, "But you also have to eat, and I wouldn't mind some company,"

She tried to mimic Sirius' puppy dog eyes, he was very good at them, but based on Regulus'
reaction, she was not.

"What are you doing?"

"Convincing you," She responded, widening her eyes comically, "Is it working?"

Amusement laced Regulus' face and he tried to force down his smile.

Lily grinned, "Come on, I need to finish telling you that story about James,"

Regulus rolled his eyes but nodded and Lily's grin widened. She began to lead him down to
the kitchens and talked as they descended. Regulus was still quiet, but Lily didn't mind. She
was pretty content with just talking.

She liked being able to talk without interruptions. Most of her friends, aside from maybe
Dorcas and Remus, were chatty, which meant she was often the quiet one in conversations,
which she didn't mind because she loved listening to her friends talk, but she did like having
someone to just ramble at. It reminded her a bit of what she had had once with Severus.

"So you want to ask Potter to go with you on the next hogsmeade trip?"

Lily nodded, "Yeah. Why do you sound like you hate that?"

Regulus shrugged, "It's just that you said you wanted it to be big right? That's not really a big
gesture,"

Lily thought about that as they arrived at the fruit bowl painting and Regulus reached up to
tickle the pair. She supposed he was right. People asked other people to go on dates at
Hogsmeade all the time, it wasn't something special and she wanted James to feel special.
God, she'd become a sap.

"Good evening Regulus!" An elf bounded over to the two once they entered and Regulus
smiled at him.

"Evening Marco, do you mind getting Lily and I a quick meal? We missed supper and could
you give this to Kinsy if you see her?" He pulled out a bag of a white powder that Lily hoped
wasn’t suspicious. It was unlikely that Regulus was running a drug ring with house elves, but
possible.

The elf, apparently named Marco, accepted the bag with a nod and pocketed it, "Of course,
and what would Regulus and Mistress Lily like to eat?"

Regulus looked over at her, "Do you have anything specific you want?" He asked with a raise
of his eyebrow.

Lily shook her head and smiled at Marco, "No, anything you have is fine,"

The elf nodded happily and darted into the crowds of elves. They were bustling from counter
to counter, magically cleaning dish after dish.

"Lily?"

Lily turned to Regulus' voice. He was sitting down at a small round table, "Are you going to
sit?"

She smiled and nodded at him, walking over and pulling out a chair.

They talked for a while, and Regulus got more dynamic as the night went on. He began to
respond to Lily's questions in sentences longer than one word and even brought up topics of
his own.

He really wasn't anything like Sirius. Sirius was cocky, loud, and dramatic. He made his
presence known in every room he was in. No matter where Sirius was or what he was doing,
you knew when he was there.

Regulus was quiet, inquisitive, and rational. He sat back and let Lily speak, but his presence
was just as known as Sirius. Lily couldn't forget it was him that she was talking to, and it
made it all the better.

Eventually, their bellies full, they went to their rooms, Lily waved goodbye and told him
she'd meet him in the same place tomorrow.

When she got back to the common room, it was around 9 o'clock, and Mary was reading on
the sofa. She looked up when Lily came in.

"There you are! I haven't seen you since lunch. Where have you been?"

Lily smiled brightly at the other girl, a warm feeling in her chest, "Feels like I've been
everywhere Mary,"
 REGULUS

Regulus needed sleep.

He'd had a hard time sleeping his whole life, but recently it had gotten much worse.

He rarely fell asleep until after midnight, and woke up frequently during the night. On the
rare occasion he got a full night's rest, his dreams were plagued with nightmares.

This recent decrease in his sleep was the only reason Potter had thrown him off his rhythm as
much as he had today. It was also the only reason he'd felt so strange looking at Evans while
she modeled for him.

Sleep.

Sleep would solve his problems.

Then why wouldn't his eyes close? Why wouldn't his body still? Why was he filled with such
nervous energy? Why did he still feel Lily's gaze on him? Why did he feel James' hands on
his?

Regulus bolted upright in his bed.

He couldn't sleep because Evan was snoring and he'd had coffee just before coming up. It had
nothing to do with Lily or James.

Regulus groaned and threw the covers off himself. If he couldn't sleep, he might as well do
something instead.

He padded down the stairs to the common room, careful not to make a noise. He'd left his
mythology book down there and since he couldn't sleep, he might as well do some studying.

Regulus thought that if you didn't research, you couldn't create at your full potential. So
whenever painting something inspired by another work, he made sure to find out as much as
he could about that work. Currently, for research on his Medusa and Athena painting, he was
reading many different versions of the myth to try and understand them more. He read any
other myths that they were in as well.

His plan was to sit by the fire, and read until he fell asleep.

It was foiled.

Joston was sitting where Regulus had been planning to sit, flipping through a Quidditch
magazine. She glanced at him when she noticed he was there.

"Regulus? What are you doing here?"

Regulus held his book up for her to see, "Couldn't sleep and thought I'd come read by the fire.
Do you mind if I join you?"

She shook her head, gesturing to the chair across from her, "Be my guest,"

Regulus sat down across from her pulling his legs up underneath him to get comfortable.

He tried to read. Medusa was truly a fascinating mythological figure, and a tragic one at that,
but his mind kept straying.

He kept feeling phantom touches to his hand, hearing imaginary voices, seeing eyes that
shifted between brown and green.

He sighed slamming his book shut and Joston looked up at him.

"You alright there?"

"mhm," He muttered, not really feeling like having a conversation right now.

"Don't look it,"

He didn't answer her. He just stared into the fire, he felt like a child pouting because he didn't
get his way.

Joston shrugged and returned to her book.

They sat quietly for a few moments when she looked at him again, "Hey Regulus, can I ask
you something?"

"Sure,"

"Do you really feel bad that you took that opportunity away from Severus?"

Regulus looked at her questioningly but her face was completely serious. He shrugged
uncomfortably. "Not really,"

She sighed and sat back in her chair, resting her chin on the palm of her hand.

"Come on Joston," Regulus urged, "Snape's a prat,"

"So's Evan, I don't see you stealing opportunities from him,"

Regulus exhaled exasperatedly, "Why are you suddenly so defensive about Snape? I didn't
know you were friends,"

"We're not-" She sighed, "Do you know how lucky you are to be a pureblood? To have the
last name Black?"

The scabs on Regulus' hands began to itch as she spoke.

 "You have no idea how hard it is to be muggleborn or half blood without a wizard's name,
I've had to work harder than anyone else to get to where I am since I'm muggleborn. A black,
female muggleborn," She met his eyes, "Snape's not gonna have it as easy as you when he
gets out of here. He's gonna need those credits,"

Regulus swallowed and looked back at the fire. He was tired, and angry, and she had no idea
what his life was like.

"You want to switch lives, Joston? Let's do it, I'll get called name after name if it means-" He
stopped himself, his face heating up. He snapped his head to look at Joston, her brow had
furrowed.

"If it means what?" She asked, her voice harsh.

"Nothing," He muttered, standing up, "I'm going to sleep, sorry about Barty earlier,"

He started up the stairs when Joston called his name.

"Regulus?"

He turned to look at her, "What?"

"I don't think you're a bad person, but you could do bad things," She sounded tired, Regulus
wondered briefly if she'd been having similar problems to him, "Be careful Regulus,"

He nodded and walked up the steps.

His bed was nice and warm, but still he found he couldn't sleep. He wasn't thinking of James
or Lily, he was thinking of what Joston had said, of what he’d almost let slip to her.

She was right, he needed to be more careful

Chapter End Notes

OKAY! I am gonna have to slow down on the updates for this I'm so sorry. School is
starting back up for me, so I think I'll try and get two chapters out a week but I can't
promise anything.

Hopefully, you all like where this is going. I appreciate your comments and kudos so
much, they really brighten my day to see.

Sorry again for not posting, I'll try to be a bit more consistent in the future.
Thank you!!
ALSO OH MY GOD THIS JUST HIT 52000 WORDS THATS ALOT
 The Annoying Consequences of Friendship
Chapter Summary

a Quidditch match and then the party that always follows

Chapter Notes

Good amount of french in this one. those translations will be at the bottom

See the end of the chapter for more notes

LILY

Sometimes, Lily regretted becoming friends with the people she had.

She loved them and they meant the world to her, but they were obsessed with Quidditch.

Only Remus shared her distaste for the sport and he usually put up with it for Sirius and
James.

Mary and Dorcas weren't huge fans, but Dorcas came to every game for Marlene, and Mary
liked watching it casually.

Peter and Sirius were Quidditch fans. They owned merchandise for their teams, they gushed
about their favorite players, they talked excitedly about the best brooms and equipment. But
they could be handled. Peter would be quiet if you asked, and Sirius would be quiet if Remus
asked.

James and Marlene were addicts and Lily sincerely hoped they received help for their
affliction.

They’d been playing together since childhood, along with Peter, and couldn’t go longer than
a day without bringing up Quidditch.

Their friends had a game of seeing how fast they get James or Marlene to bring up Quidditch
without overtly mentioning it. Sirius had set the record of a minute and twenty two seconds,
with Peter following closely behind at a minute and forty seven seconds.

James played chaser and Marlene played beater and they both thought they were the most
important people on the field.
“Lets watch Slytherin get pummeled!” James cheered, bounding ahead towards the pitch.
They were on their way to watch the Slytherin and Ravenclaw match, which Lily had been
convinced to go to by James.

“Do you honestly think they’ll lose?” Mary teased, “Ravenclaw has a weak team this year,
and Slytherin has Regulus and Daisy,”

“Probably not! But I’m told positive affirmations go a long way,”

“Who told you that?” Dorcas asked. She was walking with Lily, linking their arms.

“Well it's more of a general thing. I’ve just heard it. Through the grapevine,”

Lily rolled her eyes fondly. She didn't know how she ever fell for him.

James turned to her, his wild eyes meeting hers, stopping her in her tracks. He had a bright
grin on his face and had an arm slung casually over Remus' shoulder. To the untrained eye, it
wouldn't be anything, but Lily saw that James was supporting Remus.

Remus walked with a limp and refused to ask for help which meant his friends would need to
get creative with their methods.

Ah, right, his brilliant, beautiful, kind, heart. That was why she fell for him.

The stands were already mostly full when they arrived at the pitch but Peter managed to find
them some alright seats.

Lily settled in with James on her right and Sirius on her left. Remus was next to him and
Peter followed Remus. The other girls took the seats just above Lily.

"Alright, obviously Regulus is catching the snitch, but who do we think will lead in points
before that?" Mary asked, leaning over James' shoulder. She was always looking to stir up
trouble.

James grinned up at her, "Ravenclaw, obviously,"

"Why are we so certain Regulus will catch the snitch?" Sirius complained, "I'm sure
Ravenclaw has a great seeker!"

"He's a second year," Remus said dryly, "He won't stand a chance,"

"James was a good chaser in second year," Peter interjected, leaning forward a bit to see all of
them, "Maybe Ravenclaw has a prodigy?"

"Not likely," Marlene scoffed, "We've played him Pete, he's shit,"

They went back and forth with each other and Lily smiled softly to herself. She needed a
distraction from everything.
Lily hadn't had a great morning. Petunia was getting married, which was lovely for her,
however her husband was not someone Lily would have associated with. And not someone
Lily would have thought her parents would approve of.

But she had to come home for the wedding in the summer, she'd been hoping to stay with
Dorcas.

Lily sighed, rubbing her temples. Suddenly she felt a nudge to her shoulder.

James smiled at her softly, a gentile question in his eyes, "You alright?"

She nodded, her mouth drying, "Fine, just-" She sighed frustratedly, offering James a sort of
half smile, "sister troubles, we'll talk later yeah?"

"Sure, if you want to," He smiled before gesturing to her hands. They were clasped together
tightly to keep warm, "You want my gloves? I don't need them," He held his hands up for her
to see his mitten clad hands.

"I'm fine Potter, I can cast a warmth charm if I get really cold,"

"Can't cast a charm if your hands are frozen,"

"Maybe you can't" She quipped, smirking, "But I am a very capable witch,"

"I don't doubt it," James said laughing, "But even the best witches can't control the weather
darling,"

Lily blushed a bit at the pet name, luckily, James didn't notice as the announcer had just
started calling the names of the Ravenclaw team.

They went through each position and Lily only recognized one of the beaters from her
Arithmancy classes. The Slytherin team was different.

She knew Daisy Joston because of Mary, Aurora Prince, one of the chasers, was in the slug
club, Mulciber was one of Severus' friends, she wasn't about to forget him, Barty Crouch Jr
was a prat, and of course there was Regulus. Lily clapped a bit louder for Regulus, but subtly.
She didn't really want her friends knowing about her arrangement with the seeker.

They'd spent quite a bit of time together. He'd had her posing in all sorts of clothes to get the
fall of the fabric just right. He'd had her sit, stand, lean, jump, bend, everything you could
think of, and she'd loved every minute of it.

He was honestly nice company. He listened to Lily talk and gave pretty good advice. There
was also the added bonus of getting to see his paintings. He would redo them frequently, not
liking a specific spot on the canvas, which made Lily's job harder.

He'd helped her come up with a way to tell James about her fellings as well, although she'd
done most of the work.
There was a party tonight to celebrate halloween tomorrow and the Quidditch win. Lily was
planning on asking him to dance, loudly and in front of a lot of people. He'd done it to her in
their fourth year and she thought it might be sweet. Regulus had agreed.

The match went as expected. Slytherin dominated the field, scoring goal after goal.

"Ten points to Slytherin!" The announcer called, "That makes it thirty to zero,"

Suddenly, Sirius sat up in his chair and pointed to the sky, "What is he doing?" He exclaimed.

Regulus was diving towards the ground, his hand outstretched, the ravenclaw seeker was
following close behind.

"Has he already seen the snitch?" James asked. Lily craned her neck to try and spot the
snitch, she thought she might have seen a flash of gold, but it might have just been the sun.

"Nah, that's far too fast," Mary said, "It's only been ten minutes, that must be a record time,

"Fastest snitch catch ever was three point three seconds," Peter informed them, "Fastest catch
in Hogwarts history was just under five minutes. It wouldn't be unheard of, just impressive,"

Regulus had pulled his broom up and was zipping around the court, making sharp turns and
steep dives in a seemingly random way. The other seeker was clearly following him.

"Maybe he's just throwing ravenclaw's seeker off?" James offered, "Trying to tire them out,"

Sirius shook his head, he was squinting in front of Regulus, "I can see it I think. and Regulus
doesn't have stamina as good as Ravenclaw's seeker. He tires easily,"

Lily squinted where Sirius was. She could barely make out a glint of gold in front of Regulus
that his hand was stretched out towards.

A pit of energy began to form in her stomach. Quidditch wasn't usually entertaining to Lily,
but there was always a rush that came to her whenever the seekers were racing to the snitch.
Their thirst for the win was palpable even in the stands, their energy fed the rest of the crowd.
Everyone sat at the edge of their seats waiting to see if Regulus could reach it.

He was clearly tiring, he'd been speeding after the ball for a good minute or two at full speed,
doing complicated maneuvers.

"He must be getting tired," James voiced her thoughts, "This can't be easy to keep up,"

Lily glanced at him. His eyes were trained on Regulus. James got this glint in his eyes when
he was watching or playing Quidditch, it became all he could see. Unlike most people, James
seemed to be following the snitch, not Regulus. His eyes would veer left a split second before
Regulus would go that direction.

His cheeks were pretty pink from the cold, his nose was running a bit, and the tips of his ears
had turned red from the brisk breeze.
James Potter.

What a marvel.

"And Regulus Black has caught the snitch at ten minutes and forty five seconds into the
game, securing Slytherin's lead in the Quidditch cup!"

Lily snapped back to attention. Regulus was hovering in the air, his fist held high with the
snitch clasped in it. Sirius was beaming next to her, clapping proudly for a second before
remembering himself and sitting down in his chair, his pale cheeks taking on a pink tint.

James was clapping excitedly, his eyes bright, "Well that was bloody brilliant!" He
exclaimed, "Bit of a let down that Ravenclaw didn't win, but I'm not too chuffed about it.
Slytherin's party’ll be wild tonight!"

Suddenly, Lily remembered something, "Hey, did you guys ever figure out that prank?" She
asked, and the other girls leaned down to listen as well. James had a confident smirk on his
face.

"Yeah, I'll tell you when we get to the dorms," He winked at Lily, "Can't have this lot hearing
our grand plan," He gestured vaguely to the people clapping around him.

"well then!" Mary clapped, hopping down off the benches, "Let's get back, its cold out here,"

She extended her hand to Lily and Lily accepted it. The two girls walked back to the castle
chatting about nothing and everything. Their friends followed closely behind, gushing about
the match. Marlene spent most of the time complaining about how incompetant the
Ravenclaw beaters were.

"They had plenty of opportunities to hit Regulus, veering him away from the snitch," She
complained, "They're shit beaters,"

"Oh leave it Marls," Lily approached the painting, "Phosphorus Tarts," The portrait swung
open. There were a few people crowded around the fire, studying or just talking about
whatever. The group walked past them, Remus quickly leading them up to the Marauders
room.

They were lucky there were only four of them in that room, instead of the usual five.
Although if there was a fifth, Lily was sure they would have corrupted him like they did her.
Or Dorcas, or even Remus.

Lily smiled fondly at James and Sirius who were arguing playfully. Sirius had stolen James'
potions notebook and was jumping from bed to bed to keep it out of his grasp.

Remus sat down on the floor at the foot of a bed, Lily thought it was Peter's but she wasn't
sure.

"Alright, here the plan,"

The group huddled together to hear Remus, even Sirius and James who already knew what
was going on, ceased their bickering and flopped down on either side of Remus.

"James discovered that Sopophorous juice and blood are explosive when mixed together and
their mess is very difficult to clean,"

Lily raised her eyebrow, "How'd you figure that out Potter? Doing lots of blood
experiments?"

"No," He said offendedly, "There was a mishap in one of my tutoring sessions with Regulus.
We were making Draught of Living Death and he bled into the potion,"

Sirius sat forward, "How did he manage to bleed into it? He cut himself or something?"

"No," James shook his head, "His nails were bleeding. He bites them I think,"

Lily hadn't noticed Regulus' nails. She made a note to look at them the next time they saw
each other. She remembered he had nice hands, she remembered how they felt, adjusting her
body to fit his image. His elegant, exquisite, image of her.

"You alright Lil?" Mary nudged her shoulder, "You've gone pink,"

Lily glanced at the other girl and brought her hand up to her cheeks. They felt warm to the
touch.

"Fine, just a bit hot in here,"

"It doesn't matter how he found out," Remus interrupted, "It matters that the professors will
have no way to clean it up. Cleaning the mixture takes at least a day without a Clean-All
potion and James here used the last of it,"

"How are you going to get it in the common room?" Dorcas asked. She was leaning up
against Marlene, her arm around her waist.

Remus shared a look with Sirius, "We were hoping to get it in tonight, I was counting on the
Slytherin win. The only problem is I'm not sure the timing will work out. We need everyone
to sleep in the great hall on Halloween, but I'm not sure if the teachers will have it cleaned up
by then,"

Silence washed over them as they pondered the problem.

Mary's head snapped up, "I've got it,"

She was smiling wickedly and Lily felt her heart sink. Mary had this horrible smile whenever
she came up with something clever, it often meant trouble for Lily.

But she also had a daring glint in her eyes that made Lily's heart skip a beat. She got this look
whenever she was happy, if often meant Lily was going to be happy as well.

Lily smiled at her circle of friends. Sometimes, she hated them. Usually, she loved them.
 REGULUS

Regulus had a bit of a problem. The problem manifested in the form of Barty Crouch Jr and
Daisy Joston.

They'd been arguing ever since Barty's slip up a few days ago. Joston had barely spoken to
any of them for a bit until Regulus apologized on everyone's behalf. Growing up with his
mother and Sirius, he'd developed an admirable peace-keeping ability.

Joston started talking to Evan and Elizabeth again, but she was still ignoring Barty. If she did
speak to him, it was snippy and cold.

"I don't know what else to do," Barty complained, "I've apologized! And I wasn't trying to be
an ass, it just slipped out. It's not even that big of a deal,"

Regulus sighed, shouldering his bag. He understood why Joston was angry, he was well
educated on the history and implications of the word "mudblood" although his parents had
taught him it was socially acceptable to say. When he got to Hogwarts and became friends
with Pandora, he'd had to unlearn quite a few things his parents had taught him, Barty didn't
exactly have that.

"She's being unreasonable right Reg?"

"Not really," Regulus said. He didn't care enough to lie, he just wanted this argument to be
done with. They hadn't even celebrated after their Quidditch win, which Regulus was rather
proud of, "You should know by now she doesn't like it when you say that,"

Regulus didn't see a problem with saying mudblood, but doing it around Joston or other
muggleborns was just inconsiderate. The least Barty could do was be conscious of his
friends.

"But it was an accident!"

Evan arrived at Regulus' side. His hair was damp and Regulus glanced outside. It was
pouring outside, the raindrops pelted the windows. It was a wonder Regulus hadn't noticed
until Evan got there.

"Joston still pissed then?" Evan asked casually.

"Yeah," Barty responded, "You think she's overreacting right?"

Evan shrugged, "I dunno, I wouldn't care, honestly. It's just a word right? Thats what mum
always said,"

"Exactly," Barty exclaimed, "It's not a big deal! We could have one that match a lot faster if
she'd been communicative,"
"Oh yeah, good job by the way Reg," Evan gave him a pat on the back, "Ten minutes, forty
five seconds. Keep that up and you'll be in the big leagues,"

Regulus shrugged, "My parents wouldn't allow it," They arrived at the common room and
Barty muttered the password. There were people at the sofa's so they just went up to their
room. They shared with two other boys, half bloods named Charles Warrington and Kai
Oprus, but they were rarely in the dorm unless they were sleeping. Regulus had never wanted
to get to know them

"Your parents are killing my life," Evan complained, throwing himself down on Regulus' bed.
He was messing up the covers, which made Regulus frown. He hated when Evan messed up
the covers, "Tell them to let you be a professional Quidditch player, then the prophet will
interview me as your best friend,"

Barty threw a pillow at him, "Oi! They'd be interviewing me, idiot,"

"Nah, you'd be too boring. And if Regulus becomes famous, I'm going to be his best mate,"

Regulus began to tidy up their room. Evan tended to throw his dirty laundry aimlessly
throughout the room instead of putting it in the laundry bin Regulus had gotten them in
second year. Barty wasn't as bad, but he still wasn't up to standard. They were both under the
impression it was acceptable to have either the house elves or Regulus do their work for
them.

"Shut up Rosier. Regulus tell him I'm your best friend,"

Evan had propped himself up on his elbows and was smirking at Regulus. Barty was staring
intently.

Regulus glared at both of them, picking up some stained, crusty, underwear that had a strange
smell to it, "No one will be interviewing anyone because I will most likely get a job in the
ministry. Although," He added, "If they were to interview someone, it would be Pandora,"

"Damn!" Evan groaned, flopping back down on the bed, "The wench wins again. We never
should have let you talk to her,"

"Don't call her a wench," Regulus spat, "and get off my bed, you're messing it up,"

He was in a bad mood. Because of the win, wich barely anyone had complimented him on,
Slytherin was hosting a party. It would be in part to celebrate Quidditch and in part to
celebrate Halloween, but that meant Regulus wouldn't be able to do much sleeping tonight.
He hated sleeping with silencing charms, they made the bed stuffy and uncomfortable.

He was also in a bad mood because Halloween was tomorrow, which meant there was going
to be some dramatic prank that ruined Regulus' day.

Evan hopped off the bed, rather ungracefully, and grabbed the book on Regulus' bedside
table. It was the one Pandora had asked him to read.

"Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare?" Evan read the title out loud, "Who's that?"
"No one, give it back," Regulus snapped, grabbing at the book. Evan held it high, opening it
to a random page.

" My only love sprung from my only hate, too early seen unknown, and known too late ,"
Evan read, "What the hell does that mean?"

Regulus reached to try and grab the book from his hands, "Juliet is chiding herself for falling
in love too quickly, and with the wrong person. Now give it back, its Pandora's and I don't
want it wrecked,"

Evan returned the book reluctantly and Regulus examined it carefully, checking for any
scratches or creases. The spine was a bit bent, but Pandora could live with that. He set it back
down on his bedside table.

"Shit, Evan have you done that charms homework?" Barty asked, sitting up abruptly.

"No, I was gonna blow it off. Have you Regulus?"

Regulus nodded, "Finished it in Transfiguration,"

Barty stood up, stretching his back out. He was still in his robe and it didn't look like he'd
brushed his hair since the match, "I'm going down to the library to do it now, either of you
two want to come?"

Regulus shook his head, "No, I need some rest. Although-" He grabbed Pandora's book again,
"Could you give this to Pandora? She said she was going there for the afternoon,"

"Yeah no problem," Barty accepted the book, "You coming Evan?"

"Sure, haven't talked to Dora in a bit, she's fun to mess around with,"

"Don't distract her," Regulus scolded, "She has to study,"

"I won't!" He raised his hands defensively, "I will be an angel,"

Regulus doubted that, but let the pair leave anyway. He could use the quiet.

He sighed and continued on his mission of cleaning up the room. Once he got all the clothes,
he moved onto rearranging the desk spaces and making sure the wardrobe was tidy. Evan had
the habit of refusing to hang his clothes up, instead tossing them on the floor. It irked
Regulus.

Regulus had always enjoyed cleaning. He liked doing things rhythmically, and he appreciated
hardwork.

Watching the room slowly transform from a pigsty to a neat space was awfully satisfying. It
was a bit like painting in Regulus' opinion, except he was the brush. As he walked around the
room, a trail of cleanliness followed him. Instead of a brush creating strokes of colour, his
hands created stains of open space.
When he was finally done, the sun had started to sink in the sky, the rain had stopped, and
Barty and Evan weren't back.

Regulus sat down on his bed and admired his work. He'd organized the wardrobes so that the
clothes were organized by season, then colour. The bookshelf was organized by genre, with
school textbooks taking up the top shelf and Regulus' fictional books taking up most of the
bottom shelf. He'd put school supplies on the desk, made a space where they could put their
bags and any other knick-knacks were put on the beds to be dealt with by their owner.

Regulus sighed and closed his eyes, lying down and appreciating the feel of the sheets under
his fingertips. He was wearing a comfortable sweater and a pair of loose trousers, that was
good to sleep in.

The long chase after the snitch today had exhausted him and he was in for a long night. It was
better to rest while he had the chance.

Regulus' eyes began to drift shut and the hush of sleep drowned him.

~-~-~-~

Ocean waves lapped against a sandy beach. But it was dark and Regulus couldn't see. He
could only hear the rhythmic lull of the water and feel the rough grains under his fingers. He
felt hot and stifled.

Someone was touching his hand, he couldn't see who. It felt familiar. They traced over the
scabs around his nail bed and Regulus let out a soft sigh, he dropped his head back.
Everything was peaceful and quiet. The person's fingers felt nice on his, they soothed the
worry that came with the water. They grazed the bumps and ridges on his fingers before
trailing up his arm. Regulus let it happen. He liked the feeling of James' hands.

James, that was who it was. He didn't know how he knew that. When he tried to think about
it, the hands distracted him again.

One was on his waist now, like they'd been at the end of that one match, when they'd fallen to
the ground together. Regulus remembered the sound of James' heartbeat, he could hear it
again now. It was louder and faster, and Regulus realized it was his own heart, not James, that
was making the noise.

James' hand was tracing his collarbone, where Regulus' scar began. He didn't usually like it
when people touched his scars, but he didn't mind at the moment. James wasn't touching the
scar, he was touching Regulus, and that made a rather large difference.

Regulus leaned his head back farther, letting it rest on James' shoulder. His eyes were closed,
he was losing himself in the sensation of James' fingers. They danced across his skin,
brushing the imperfections that became perfect with his touch.

Regulus wondered if this was what Lily felt like when he was painting her. Maybe she'd
prefer it if James were to paint her. She was such a lovely model, so ethereal and carved. She
felt sculpted to Regulus. Every inch of her was perfectly curated, creating the picture of
artistry.

Regulus was pleased he had the chance to memorialize her but sorry as well. She deserved to
be frozen in a portrait, but no paints or colours could do her properly. There was nothing on
this earth or any other that could create Lily as she was.

James squeezed his waist and Regulus was brought back to the present, but his mind lingered
on Lily.

Would she like to be in his position? Her back pressed against James' chest, her hands tangled
in his hair, his hands on her waist, on her thighs, on her hands, on her neck, on her cheek, on
her lips, on Regulus' lips.

James had brushed his lips gently over Regulus' neck, then his cheek. Regulus turned his face
to James a bit, but when he looked, it wasn't James.

She had green eyes, she had a round face, she had pale skin, she had red hair. He didn't
recognize her but she was beautiful.

She parted her lips and leaned towards Regulus. He let her, he'd only kissed James before, it
would be nice to kiss someone else, someone as lovely as her.

He knew her name, it was on the tip of his tongue.

He parted his lips to allow her to kiss him deeper and she obliged. She curled her fingers in
his hair, her nails dug into his scalp a bit and Regulus felt himself sigh into her mouth.

She pulled away as Regulus whispered her name, a flower, but when he opened his eyes
again. It was someone else.

Brown eyes, tanned skin, sharp features, black hair. He didn't recognize him but he was
beautiful.

He leaned into Regulus again. His kiss was different, his was fiercer but no less loving. He
made Regulus feel nothing but him. He tugged on the curls in Regulus' hair, he ran his hand
up Regulus' waist and back. Regulus pushed him down onto the beach, straddling his hips
and got a strange sense of deja vu.

The boy turned them around so that he was on top of Regulus and Regulus' back was pressed
against the beach.

But Regulus began to burn. The sand was getting caught in the scabs around his fingers, he
was sinking he realized.

No one was touching him anymore, there were no lips against his, no hands on his waist. He
was drowning, not in sand but in the ocean. The water began to fill his lungs. He couldn't
breathe but did he want to?

Regulus closed his eyes and let himself sink to the bottom of the sea.
Suddenly, someone was touching him. Their hands grabbed his wrists and pulled him out of
the water. He coughed and sputtered trying to expel the water from his chest. While catching
his breath, he looked at the person who saved him.

It was Lily, he realized.

She was smiling gently at him, her hands cupping his face. She had soft hands, not calloused
or scarred like Regulus. He wondered if she'd ever hurt herself like he had.

Lily pulled him tight against her, and Regulus melted into her embrace. She was warm and
dry and safe.

James was touching him as well now, enveloping him in a hug just like Lily was.

It felt like the sand had, but different. He was still suffocating, but he found he didn't want to
stop. He liked suffocating when it was with them.

~-~-~-~

Regulus shot upright, breathing heavily. Something was wrong, something was very, very,
wrong. He felt hot and not in control.

He glanced around the room. Evan and Barty still weren't back, but one of their other
dormmates was reading at his desk. He had glanced up briefly when Regulus woke up, but
quickly went back to his book.

Regulus ran his hand through his hair. He didn't like dreaming, it confused him.

His mother had always said that dreams were between you and your bed, but his father said
dreams were meant to be shared. Regulus sighed and got out of bed. He heard the incesesant
banging of music coming from downstairs- the party must have started- and looked in the
mirror.

He did a quick charm to hide his eyebags and patted his hair down. Barty and Evan would
most likely be downstairs, they'd make him get those thoughts out of his head.

He changed into a loose white shirt and pulled a jumper over it so that the collar stuck out.
He pulled on some jeans as well and laced his shoes.

Regulus sighed again. He didn't know if it was worse that he was dreaming about a boy or a
muggleborn. Either way, his parents wouldn't be happy.

SIRIUS

Regulus was biting his nails again. Regulus was biting his nails again. Regulus was biting his
nails again. Regulus was biting his nails again.

That was all that flew through Sirius mind after James mentioned it off handedly.
Sirius had a lot on his plate at the moment.

Remus wasn't talking to him, he was in love with Remus, Lily was keeping something from
him, Peter kept beating him at chess, and now his brother was biting his fingernails again.

Regulus used to bite them whenever he was anxious, it was just one of those habits kids have,
but his mother didn't like how it made his hands look, so she'd put a curse on him to keep him
from doing it. The effects wore off in a month or two, but Regulus never bit his nails again. If
he did, he kept it from Sirius.

But now he was. Sirius had known something was off. He'd been stupid enough to trust
James' judgement. He'd assured Sirius that Regulus was acting completely normal, that he
wasn't tired anymore and it was probably just a rough patch.

But he was biting his nails again.

Sirius had hoped that when he left Grimmauld place in his fifth year after his parents had
pushed him just a bit too far, one time too many, he'd be done with everything from that
house. For a while, he'd convinced himself he needed to be done with Regulus as well but the
weasel kept finding a way to trigger Sirius' older brother instincts.

"Prick," He muttered to himself, earning a few glances from surrounding students.

He was on his way to the Slytherin party. The rest of his friends were already there but Sirius
had stayed behind. He'd done it because he thought Moony wasn't going so if he waited a bit,
it meant they would get to talk to each other, but Remus left with James and Peter so Sirius
had been forced to sit by himself and think.

He hated thinking. Thinking had led to most of the problems in his life. Thinking had made
him tell Snape about Moony, thinking had made him realize that he was in love with his best
friend, thinking had made him realize Lily never talked, only listened, thinking made him
lose chess, thinking made him realize Regulus never bit his nails.

Regulus was biting his nails again.

Sirius shook his head as he arrived at the dungeons, he was supposed to have a nice time
tonight. He would do a bit of reconnaissance for the prank, then get so smashed he forgot all
about his dick of a brother.

"Venomous fang,"

Slytherins were so stupid with their passwords. They just picked the most obvious,
stereotypical, phrase and called it a password. The stone wall vanished revealing a dingy
passageway that Sirius knew led down to Slytherin's common room. He could hear some
music blasting but he didn't recognize it, it sounded like wizard music which Sirius thought
was much worse than muggle music.

He made it down the steps easily to see the Slytherin common room full of people from all
houses. He spotted Prongs and Marlene in a corner, chatting with a hufflepuff girl from their
charms class.

Emmeline Vance, whom he'd dated in fourth year and completely embarrassed himself in
front of. He was not going to talk to her.

Lily wasn't there, but Moony was wrapped up in conversation with a couple of Ravenclaws.

Moony looked lovely. He was wearing a jumper, like he always was, and jeans. He was
smiling brightly, laughing at something someone had said. Sirius was jealous. He
remembered when Moony would smile at him like that. He remembered how beautiful his
laugh was when you were the one who created it.

He sighed, he didn't want to talk to Moony right now. He'd just ruin the good time Moony
seemed to be having.

Sirius scanned the room once more. Mary was talking with the Slytherin Quidditch captain,
Peter was talking to some girl in the corner, Sirius was entirely alone. This was not what he
needed at the moment.

He needed to stop worrying about his blood purist brother. He needed to stop thinking about
whatever was going on with Lily. He needed to stop feeling guilty about Remus. He needed
to stop wanting to kiss Remus. He needed to study chess openings again.

Sirius marched towards a table that had a bunch of drinks on it, taking a cup and downing
some firewhiskey. It wasn't enough, so he filled it up again and downed it one more time.

Someone new walked down the steps. Sirius recognized them.

It was Pandora Lovegood. He'd kissed her not long ago, and she was friends with Regulus.
Sirius grabbed a second cup of firewhiskey, if he couldn't talk to his friends, he might as well
bother his brothers friends.

"Pandora!" he called out. She looked towards him, confused. He smiled confidently at her,
handing her the cup he'd just grabbed, "Fancy seeing you here!"

"Hello Sirius!" She accepted the cup but didn't move to drink it, "It's not that surprising, I'm
actually looking for your brother have you seen him?"

Sirius shook his head, "Nope," He said, popping the 'p', "Not a party person as far as I
remember,"

"No, he isn't," She agreed, then her eyes brightened, "Nevermind, he's just coming down
now," She pointed towards the stairwell in the back right of the common room. Sirius saw
Regulus where she was pointing.

He looked fine. His hair was neat, his clothes were tidy. He certainly didn't seem like
someone who was meant to be at a party. He also didn't seem like someone who would bite
his nails. Sirius couldn't see his hands clearly from this distance.
"Well, thank you for keeping me company while I waited," Pandora waved goodbye and
started towards Regulus.

Sirius followed her, "As it turns out, I also need to speak to my darling brother, so we're in
the same boat,"

Pandora frowned. She was pretty, Sirius supposed, not Moony pretty of course, but pretty.
She had delicate features, like a fairy from one of those muggle stories, with an upturned
nose and rosy cheeks. She had round glasses that didn't fit her face and hid her from view.
They gave her an unnerving bug-eyed look.

"Pandora, Sirius, why are you together?" Regulus sounded suspicious and Sirius grinned at
him.

"Oh, we've been snogging. Yeah, could barely keep her off of me,"

Regulus glared at Sirius' sarcasm. He didn't seem amused, but the corner of Pandora's mouth
quirked up so Sirius considered it a win.

"We have not been doing anything of the sort. I just got here and Sirius was keeping me
company until I found you,"

Regulus turned his gaze back to her and it softened considerably, Sirius tried to get a look at
his hands but they were behind his back.

"Well you've found me, did Barty give you back your book?"

"He did, yes. That was what I wanted to talk to you about. How did you enjoy it?"

"Well I found it rather boring on my first read through, but after a reread I found it
Shakespeare's use of the family dynamic interesting,"

"I thought you might not enjoy it at first. I quite liked how he used genre as a red herring,"

Regulus tilted his head, "What do you mean by that?"

"Well in the first half of the first act, it feels like a love story, but in the second half of the
first act, it feels a bit like a comedy. Then in the second act, it begins to take on the tone of a
tragedy,"

"I didn't pick up on that, well done. I did some research on the book in the library and found
that there's an ongoing debate about whether or not they were actually in love. What's your
stance on that?"

Sirius looked between the two as they talked. He didn't really understand what was
happening. It would seem that Regulus was having an insightful conversation with a friend
about muggle literature, however that was completely unreasonable. Regulus was not
interested in muggle literature.
"Well, what do you think about his characterization of Juliet?" Pandora asked, leading
Regulus to one of the couches. Sirius followed, still trying to look at his brother's hands.

"I found it surprisingly progressive for its time. Allowing her to express sexual desires and
showing her engagement to Paris as something just as tragic as Romeo's banishment and
newfound moral ambiguity, was uncommon in Shakespears time,"

"I agree, although I found his villainization of Lady Capulet off putting,"

Regulus had his chin resting on his hand, Sirius looked closer. His nails were short and
jagged. And it didn't look like he was only biting his nails, the skin around his nails was
scabbing as well, mother would hit him if she could see him now.

"I didn't interpret it as a villainization, she seemed to be doing what she thought was best for
her daughter. Its likely she felt similarly to Juliet at one point but was unable to escape and so
now pushes her opinions on her daughter,"

Sirius grabbed Regulus' arm, pulling him up, "We need to talk, alone. Sorry Pandora, I'm
borrowing him,"

"Go ahead," She said pleasantly, "He's given me lots to think about,"

Sirius dragged Regulus back up the steps where he had just come from. He led them to
Regulus' room (don't ask how he knew where it was), and pulled them inside. There was
another boy in there, reading a book. He had dark skin and tight curls on his head.

He looked up when they came in, frowning confusedly.

"Out," Sirius commanded, pointing harshly at the door. The boy just kept staring at them.

"Sorry Kai," Regulus apologized, "We'll just be a minute, do you mind?"

Kai frowned, "A bit yeah, can't you talk elsewhere?"

Sirius rolled his eyes, he didn't have time to deal with an annoying Slytherin that wasn't his
brother, "Nous pourrions parlé en francais?"

Regulus eyed him, suspiciously, " Tu te rappelles comment le parler?"

"Bien sûr, je suis pas idiot,"

They stared at each other for a moment before Regulus sighed.

"Qu’est-ce que tu veux?" Regulus asked sharply, "J'étais en train de faire quelque chose.,"

Sirius whirled on his brother, grabbing his hand harshly and shoving it in his face, "C'est quoi
ton problème?!" He demanded. In the back of his mind, something James had said about
having a conversation that wasn't accusatory tingled, but he brushed it aside.
 Regulus pulled his hand away, "Excuse-moi? C'est quoi mon problème?! Tu es celui qui m'a
mené dans ma chambre sans raison,"

"Oh, j'ai une raison,"

Sirius hated speaking french. It reminded him of his father. And Regulus spoke French
quickly. Sirius hadn't even heard the language since summer, he could barely keep up.

"Alors c'est quoi?"

Sirius bit his lip, he glanced at Regulus' dormmate. He really wanted to have this
conversation in a language that didn't make his skin crawl.

"Demande lui de partir,"

Regulus rolled his eyes, "Tu peux pas le dire en français?"

"Je n'aime pas cette langue stupide,"

"Kai, I'll convince Barty and Evan to let you shower first for a week if you leave,"

Kai looked up, "Two weeks and I'll give you five minutes,"

"One week and I'll do your charms essay,"

"deal," The boy stood up, closing his book. He left and Regulus looked at Sirius.

"What is it?"

Sirius took a breath. Finally, one of his problems would get off his chest, "You've been
chewing your nails again,"

Chapter End Notes

Nous pourrions parlé en francais? = We could talk in french?

Tu te rappelles comment le parler? = You remember how to speak it?
Bien sure, je suis pas idiot = Of course, I'm not an idiot

Qu’est-ce que tu veux? J'étais en train de faire quelque chose. = What do you want? I
was in the middle of something

C'est quoi ton probleme?! = What's your problem?!

Je m'excuse? C'est quoi mon problème?! Tu es l'un qui m'a mené dans ma chambre sans
raison, = Excuse me? What's my problem? You're the one who brought me to my room
for no reason
Oh, J'ai une raison = Oh, I have a reason
Alors c'est quoi? = What is it then?
Demande lui de quitter = Ask him to leave
Tu peux pas le dire en français? = you can't say it in french?
Je n'aime pas cette langue stupide = I don't like this dumb language

Hopefully my french isn't too bad. I do actually speak it, but my grammar is rusty.

Thank you so much for reading! I'm very sorry for the slow updates, I'll try to get one or
maybe two chapters out a week though.
Thanks so much! I love to read comments, so don't hesitate to leave them!
 The Argumentative Consequences of Siblings
Chapter Summary

a party! Oh my!

Chapter Notes

French traslations will be at the bottom, much less french dialogue than last time though

See the end of the chapter for more notes

REGULUS

Sirius' words rang through Regulus' head. He felt hot- why did he keep feeling hot - his hands
twitched at his sides and he stared up at his brothers determined eyes.

"What?" He breathed, his voice coming out shaky

"yYou've been biting your nails again," he repeated.

Regulus stepped back. He didn't want to be next to Sirius right now. He was tired from the
match earlier that day, confused because of his dream, and angry because Sirius had no
business talking to him like he was.

Sirius barely spoke to him if it wasn't to taunt, he didn't care about Regulus. Regulus didn't
know what Sirius had to gain from this interaction, but he wasn't getting involved.

"So?" Regulus retorted, "Why should you care?"

"Because-" He paused, then stuck his chin up in the air, "I don't,"

Regulus rolled his eyes. He was insufferable. Of course he'd come bother Regulus, on a day
where he was already feeling unsteady, and then lose his nerve at the last second. Sometimes
Regulus wondered if the sorting hat should have put him in Slytherin instead of Gryffindor
after all.

"Then leave," Regulus said, "I don't want to drag out this conversation longer than I have to,”

“No!” Sirius replied, his voice strangled. He ran a hand through his hair frustratedly and
began pacing around the room, “Ugh, why can’t you just stop being so difficult?”
Regulus glared at Sirius, following his movements with his eyes. He was not the one being
difficult, Sirius was. He dragged Regulus away from some stimulating conversation for
nothing.

“Alors nous allons avoir cette conversation ou non?” Regulus asked. He knew Sirius didn’t
like speaking French, but there was a hot anger in him that wanted to push Sirius farther. He
wanted his brother to lose control like he always did, at least that would be familiar.

"Tais-toi," Sirius snapped, then winced at the language, “I’m thinking,”

Regulus didn’t want to shut up. He was tired, and angry, and he wanted Sirius to leave,
“Pense plus vite. Kai retournera dans une ou deux minute,”

“Stop it, Regulus. Speak english for merlins’ sake,”

“Non. Tu peux me parler en français,"

Sirius glared, then waved his hand at the door and muttered a spell. He must have locked it,
“Don’t be a child Regulus. Just-” He groaned again, glaring harder at Regulus.

“Seulement quoi?” Regulus pressed. He was so tired, he was confused about that stupid
dream, and Sirius was here. Stupid, brave, kind, Sirius was here, still trying to care about
him.

Regulus didn’t understand why Sirius didn’t get it. Didn’t understand why he couldn’t
comprehend that they weren’t allowed to care anymore. Sirius wasn’t allowed to ask about
his nails and Regulus wasn’t allowed to tell him.

“Talk to me Reg,”

Regulus flinched at the nickname.

"Tell me whats going on," SIrius pleaded, a helpless look in his eye, "I know something's
happening, you just need to tell me what,"

Regulus wanted to tell him. He wanted to tell him more than anything in the world. He
wanted to fall to his knees and beg Sirius to stay, he wanted to tell him how afraid he was
whenever he had to open another letter, wanted to tell him how jealous he got when he saw
him with James, wanted to tell him how much he wanted to be touched and loved but he
couldn't,

Because Sirius had left so Regulus had to be perfect. Sirius had left and he didn't care. No
matter how much he pretended to to clear his conscience, he didn't care and that was that.

Regulus set his jaw and glared at Sirius, "I'm worried about my OWLs, I have to take them
this year and I'm not in fifth year transfiguration or potions so I'm having to do extra
studying," It was a feeble lie, and one Regulus didn't expect Sirius to really believe. Regulus
didn't get worried over exams, it wasn't in his nature.

Sirius narrowed his eyes, "Liar,"

There was a knock at the door and Regulus darted forward, undoing the lock for Kai to enter
again, "Sorry about that, he was just leaving,"

Regulus glared pointedly at Sirius, gesturing to the open door.

Sirius returned the glare but started forward, "Nous parlons plustard,"

Regulus rolled his eyes and ushered his brother out of the door. He closed it softly and
returned to his bed. Pandora would figure out that he wasn't coming back down soon enough.
He wasn't the type to enjoy parties, but Sirius had really put a damper on his mood.

"Your brother is strange," Kai said from his place at his desk and Regulus let out a snort.

He couldn't be bothered to keep up appearances right now. He was tired and he just wanted
the world to shut down for a moment. If everything could pause and give Regulus a chance to
catch his breath, he might be okay, but the world wasn't like that.

"Yeah he is,"

They coexisted in silence for a few minutes, Kai reading and Regulus suffocating himself
with a pillow, when Kai broke the silence, I take it you're not going back down then?"

"No," He said, his voice muffled from the fabric. He didn't look up, but he did hear a small
chuckle.

"Fine, remember you have to convince Crouch and Rosier to give me the shower,"

"Sure,"

The silence resumed which Regulus appreciated. Maybe he had too much on his plate.

He was a prefect, though rounds hadn't been difficult recently. Lupin was fine walking in
silence, Pandora was his friend and Evans just talked about Potter.

Evans and Potter, Potter and Evans.

It was probably her fault he'd had that dream. With how much she'd been gushing over Potter
around Regulus, it must have seeped into his unconscious mind.

Regulus groaned loudly, he needed to stop reading so much Freud, it was messing with his
mind. Lily was messing with his mind- ugh and now he was calling her Lily!

Regulus screamed into his pillow, he probably made Kai jump but he couldn't care. He had to
stop thinking. He had to turn off his brain somehow.

He rolled over so that he was facing the ceiling. He could see the celestial cover Pandora had
given him. His eyes found Sirius' star instinctively.

Was it pitiful that, even now, he searched for his brother? Even when he had this burning
hatred for Sirius deep inside him, he still looked for him. What for, Regulus couldn't say.
Protection? Maybe. Just to know that there was a Sirius out there that didn't hate him?
Probably.

It could, of course, be that he loved his brother and that small childish part of him craved the
simplicity that came with looking at Sirius' star. It reminded Regulus of trips to Uncle
Cygnus' summer home with his cousins and Sirius.

Bellatrix and Andromeda would always sneak them out to the beach and stare at the sky.
Sirius, ever the Gryffindor, followed eagerly, but Narcissa and Regulus were much more
cautious.

Regulus remembered being so afraid of aunt Druella discovering that they'd snuck out, that
he burst into silent tears. Sirius had held his hand the whole way down to the beach that
night.

Regulus smiled softly at the memory and closed his eyes. After a few moments of debating,
he stood up and pulled on a coat and some shoes, Kai didn't spare him a glance as he left.

The party was louder than Regulus had thought it would be. He couldn't hear it upstairs so
maybe they'd put on some silencing charms.

Pandora was still on the sofa, talking with Xenophilius. They seemed to be good friends
which Regulus found peculiar as she’d never mentioned him.

Barty and Evan were talking to some Hufflepuff’s, probably about inconsequential blither.
Merlin, Regulus needed new friends. Preferably ones that actually had some brain cells.

He saw Joston, MacDonald and Potter, for some reason, talking in hushed tones in the corner.
Sirius was with them, any concern he’d had for his brother washed away by the burn of
Firewhiskey.

Regulus rolled his eyes and left the common room quickly, heading up to the astronomy
tower.

He didn’t care that Sirius didn’t care. He didn’t care that Sirius had done all that as a farce to
clear his conscience. He just wanted to pretend for a moment like he was on the beach,
Narcissa on one side, Sirius on the other, and look at the stars.

JAMES

James loved it when things were loud. He loved when the noise overwhelmed his senses,
when all he could hear was banging drums and guitar chords. His home had always been
quiet with him being an only child so when he came to Hogwarts and got put in a dorm with
Sirius, one of the loudest people in the world, he had come to appreciate the noise.

Daisy Joston, however, did not like the noise or maybe she just didn’t like James.
“I’m not doing it Mary! Do you know how much trouble I could get in? They-” she pointed a
finger accusingly at James and Sirius, who had just arrived and had a sour look on his face,
“are probably only getting me involved because they want to sabotage me,”

“I resent the implication,” James protested but Mary waved him away.

“Please Daisy! I thought you were angry with Crouch! This would be a great way to get back
at him,”

“Yeah, him and everyone else in Slytherin. Absolutely not,”

James groaned. He’d known this would be a waste of time. Recruiting other people,
especially slytherins, to help with a marauders prank wasn’t the way they worked. They made
exceptions sometimes for the girls, but James quite liked that the four of them had a thing.

“You realize if you don’t do it, we’ll just get a first year to help us,” Sirius said, his voice dry.

James glanced at him. If someone were found planting the potion, they would probably get in
trouble. It just wouldn’t be smart to put a first year in charge of it but Sirius’ eyes were hard
and cold and they looked more grey than the usual blue. James wondered what had put him in
such a bad mood, he’d have to ask about it later.

Joston stared at Sirius, evaluating him. She looked him up and down, trying to gauge if he
was being truthful or not. She swallowed hard and looked at Mary.

“You won’t let me get found out?”

Mary shook her head, “Course not Daisy,”

Joston turned to James, “And you’re sure it's safe?”

James nodded, “Certain,”

She pondered for a moment longer before nodding her head, “Fine, I’ll do it, but if you get
caught, my name stays out of your mouth,” She glared at James and Sirius, “Not everyone
has a pureblood last name to protect them,”

James straightened his spine confidently, “Sirius and I will take the fall if anything goes
wrong,”

“And Peter and I, of course,” Remus said, appearing behind James, “Are you in, Daisy?”

She nodded, a small smile on her face. It was weird to hear her be called her first name, by
anyone other than Mary.

“Yeah, just get me the potion and I’ll set it off after supper,”

“Brilliant,” Remus turned to James and Sirius, “I got Pandora Lovegood for Ravenclaw and
Henry Higgins for Hufflepuff,”
“Pandora?” Sirius asked, “Couldn’t you get anyone else?”

“Not someone I trust, no. I know Pandora from rounds, she’ll do fine,”

James grinned at his friends, “The prank is done then, all we need to do is wait,”

Padfoot and Moony returned the smile, the latter with a wicked glint in his eye.

James wondered if Remus had been corrupted by him and Sirius like Peter had, or if he’d
always had a prankster inside him, just waiting to be released.

Remus had always been the mastermind of the group, he’d come up with most of their more
complicated pranks like the time they switched out all of the food the house elves had made,
for plastic replicas. He was also the Marauder with the least detentions.

Peter was the head of that list. He was always the distraction, which meant he got caught the
most. Sirius followed behind by a large margin because he was a reckless idiot and James
was behind him because he let himself get persuaded by Sirius far too often.

James’ mum had told him when he left for school to be responsible. He had most certainly
failed her, but he didn’t think she minded. James smiled to himself, he should really write to
her.

“Have you seen Lily?” Sirius asked.

James glanced around the room but he couldn’t spot her. She usually stood out because of her
hair, especially among a sea of green, “No, she doesn’t really come to Slytherin parties
though,”

Sirius nodded and James glanced at him. He looked upset about something and there was no
better time like the present to broach the subject.

He nudged Sirius’ shoulder lightly with his own. They were almost the same height, but
James was a bit taller, “You alright? You seem off,”

Sirius attempted to smile but it came off as more of a grimace, “Fine, just have a lot to think
about,”

“Want another mind?”

Sirius shook his head, then bit his lip and looked at James, examining him. James tried his
best to look trustworthy and reliable.

“Yeah a bit,”

“Talk to me then,”

Sirius glanced around. Mary and Remus had gotten absorbed in a conversation about
Divination. Joston had gone off somewhere, probably to get drunk. No one would be
listening to them.
“I talked to Regulus. You know how you said he was biting his nails?”

James nodded.

“Well he never does that. Not since mother cursed him when he was a kid,”

James raised his eyebrows, “Beg your pardon?”

“Not a big deal, just whenever he would go to bite his nails, he’d feel like he was drowning.
Didn’t actually hurt him, just felt like it did. Anyway, my point is, he never bites his nails,”

Everytime James learned something new about Sirius’ family, it just made him feel more
sympathy for his friend. A curse to simulate drowning was a big deal and if Sirius didn’t
think so, James hated to think about what he thought was important.

“So I talked to him, and he got all defensive and wouldn’t talk to me back,”

“Like he ignored you?” James asked.

“No, his dorm mate was in the room so we talked in french for a bit-”

“You speak french?” Peter interrupted

“Yeah- wait, when did you get here?” Sirius demanded. The smaller boy shrunk a bit under
his glare.

“I’ve been here this whole time, you just didn’t notice,”

Sirius and James both stared at Peter, how the boy managed to always fade into the
background, James would never know. It was a talent he wished he possessed.

“Alright fine whatever,” SIrius turned back to James “His dorm mate left so I asked him
about his nails, then he asked me why I cared and I said I didn’t-”

“Sirius!” James admonished, “Come on now,”

“I know okay! It was stupid. He told me to leave and I said no and asked him to talk to me
and he told me he was worried about OWLs which is stupid because he doesn’t worry about
things like that, and I-” He started chewing the inside of his mouth and avoided James and
Peter’s eyes.

“What happened?” James asked

“I called him a liar and then he kicked me out,”

James groaned, everytime Sirius tried to make progress with his brother, which wasn’t often
for the record, his temper and ego got the best of him.

“I know James! I know I should be nicer to him but I’m stressed okay! I’m dealing with a
lot,”
James sighed and ran a hand through his hair, he wished Lily was here or Moony. They were
good at talking sense into Sirius. But Lily was god knows where and Moony wasn’t really
talking to Sirius, he certainly wasn’t jumping at the chance to cheer him up.

“What's that got anything to do with Regulus?” Peter asked.

Peter, beautiful, blunt, brilliant Peter. James forgot how much his friend lacked a filter. He
may not be aware of what he was doing, but he definitely got the job done.

“Nothing-”

“Then why weren’t you nicer?”

James winced at his friend's words. Peter was blunt which was helpful at times, but also very
unfortunate and argument inducing.

“I don’t know!” Sirius exclaimed, glaring at Peter and James placed a hand on both of their
shoulders, calming Sirius down.

“You can talk to him again another time, maybe with one of us there. Or I could talk to him
when we have a tutoring session,”

Sirius brightened, “yeah? You could do that?”

James smiled awkwardly, “I mean maybe? I could try-”

“Brilliant! Thanks Prongs! Hey Wormy, fancy going back to the common room for a game of
chess? I’m feeling confident now,”

“Sure!” Peter exclaimed, excited that someone was finally asking him to play one of his
favorite games.

They bounded out of the room, with a quick wave to James.

James groaned softly, he didn’t know how he always managed to get himself into these
messes. Now he had to ask Regulus about his nails which brought up a number of problems.

First of all, Regulus was still angry at him for botching their attempt at Amortentia. It had
ended up smelling like eggs and rust which was not a nice smell. They were trying again on
Monday, but that would be the day after the prank, which meant Regulus would be even more
pissed.

Secondly, Regulus would know that Sirius had asked James to ask him. Which would more
than likely put him in a bad mood and possibly make James’ potion mark go down.

Finally, and most importantly, James had been quite fixated on Regulus’ hands.

Since that one potions session where they’d blown up the draught of living death and James
had gotten a good look at them. They’d managed to consume his thoughts.
He closed his eyes to go to sleep and all he saw was long, pale fingers with scabs around the
nail bed. Everytime he sat next to Regulus during potions class, he was focused on how his
hands grasped the quill and wondered how they’d look if they were touching James like that.

He’d compare them to his own hands sometimes. He had thicker fingers, and they weren’t
nearly as pretty as Regulus. He would remember how they looked wrapper around Regulus’
waist, and how they looked covering Regulus’ hands and thought about how large his hands
felt compared to Regulus’.

Regulus’ hands were delicate and purposeful and every move looked musical to James and he
couldn’t stop thinking about them.

He wanted to hold them, to admire them, to clasp them with his own and watch as they shook
and twitched and did all of it beautifully and like an instrument.

Talking about Regulus’ hands with Regulus did not seem like the way to solve this
infatuation but Sirius had asked him to.

He groaned again, he might as well get some sleep now. Slytherin parties were usually dull
anyways, he didn't think he’d be missing much.

When he arrived in the common room, Sirius and Peter were entranced by a chessboard. It
looked like Peter was winning, which didn’t surprise James in the slightest.

He took the stairs up to his common room and changed into some loose trousers and a sleep
shirt. Just as he was about to take off his glasses, he was struck with an urge to check the
marauders map.

He grabbed it from its place on his dresser. The map was their magnum opus. Remus had had
the idea, and they’d been working on it since second year. They’d finished it in fifth year and
James had never been more proud.

He whispered the phrase to open it and flipped through the pages until he found something
that intrigued him.

Marlene and Dorcas were in a broom cupboard which James did not want to notice.
McGonnagall was in her office with Madame Pomfrey for some reason. And Lily was in the
astronomy tower.

James' eyes widened as he saw the name that was with her.

He stood up quickly and started towards the door, his invisibility cloak and the map in hand.

LILY

Petunia had written to her today.

The letter was still clasped in Lily’s hands, crumpled and damp from her tears.
Petunia was going to be married, the wedding would be in the summer, this was something
Lily had already known. Lily hadn’t been excited about it. She didn’t like Vernon, Petunia’s
fiancee, and she’d been hoping to spend the summer with Dorcas and Remus. But she’d
wanted to go.

She’d wanted to watch her sister walk down the aisle in her lovely white dress and tear up a
bit while she said her vows. A small, stupid, childish part of her still expected everything to
go back to how it was before they’d gotten older and Lily had become a freak.

But it wouldn’t because Petunia had made it very clear in her letter that Lily was not to attend
the wedding. She wouldn’t be at the after party either, or the bachelorette party, and she
couldn’t be involved in any planning.

Lily would not attend her own sister's wedding.

She felt a tear fall down her cheek. She’d stopped crying loudly at least. Now she just let the
tears track silently down her cheeks creating twin rivers on her face.

Lily stared into the sky. It was clear out which meant she could see every star. Her eyes
searched for the one James had deemed their star. She didn’t know precisely which one it
was, only generally where it was. She should ask James the next time they see each other.

There was a creek behind Lily and she snapped to face the person who’d entered.

They looked familiar but they were shrouded in darkness and Lily couldn’t make out their
features but she thought maybe…

“Sirius?” She called out, her voice breaking on the last word, “Is that you?”

The figure stepped into the light to reveal high cheekbones, short curly hair, and striking grey
eyes.

“No, sorry,” Regulus said, avoiding her gaze, “You want me to leave?”

Lily shook her head. Regulus was nice to be around. She really did like him. He had a calm
to him that Lily had never felt with anyone else.

He settled next to her, pulling out a small telescope and adjusting the dials around it.

Lily let the quiet wash over her, the methodical scrapes of the metal and the cool breeze being
her only companions besides Regulus.

She shivered. She had been so distracted by Petunia’s letter she hadn’t noticed how cold it
was.

Regulus shrugged off his jacket and offered it to her, “Do you want this? I don’t really get
cold,”

Lily hesitated but when another breeze drifted through the windows of the astronomy tower,
she reached out and accepted it. It was black and oversized, with small buttons. The jacket
had been big on Regulus but didn’t fit Lily either.

Regulus twisted the dials on the telescope ever so slightly and raised it to his eye again.

As he watched the stars, Lily watched him.

The moonlight lit up his features, creating shadows on his face that highlighted his jaw and
cheekbones. His curls feel gracefully across his forehead. He looked like a painting and Lily
found herself wanting to see him paint himself. He made her look so lovely, she was sure he
could do amazing things with someone like himself.

“Thank you,” she whispered, leaning almost unconsciously into Regulus’ side. He looked
back at her.

She felt her gaze drop to his lips. The top one was relatively thin, but the bottom one was full
and a pale pink.

She wondered, so briefly the thought was quicker than a blink, what his lips would feel like
pressed against hers.

If there had not been a creek at the door, signifying someone’s arrival she might have found
out.

James burst into the room, a bundle of fabric Lily recognized as his invisibility cloak and a
piece of parchment Lily knew to be the marauders map.

His hair was a mess, even more than usual and he had a frenzied look in his eyes. He glanced
around the room before his gaze landed on Lily and Regulus.

Lily pulled away from Regulus instantly, a blush rising to her cheeks. Regulus didn’t really
react, just stared passively at James.

“Lily!” James darted forward touching her shoulder lightly, “I was wondering where you
were and- have you been crying?”

Lily blinked and brought her hand up to her. Her fingers were cold from resting against the
stone floor.

James turned to Regulus, who had put his telescope back up to his eye, and glared, “What did
you do?” He demanded, his voice fierce.

Lily’s chest warmed at his tone. She valued him more than anything in the world.

Regulus stared at them blankly with a judgmental quirk to his eyebrow, he didn’t seem fazed
at all by James’ tone, but Lily touched James’ arm gently and smiled at him, holding up her
letter.

“Its from Petunia,”

 James’ expression softened and he accepted the letter quickly skimming its contents. He sat
down on her other side as he read, his thigh pushing up against her own.

He scowled once he finished reading and handed the letter back, “Am I allowed to piss on
your sister?”

Lily shook her head and James scrunched his nose but kept his thoughts to himself.

“I don’t really want to talk about it either,” She said, folding the letter carefully and putting it
in her coat pocket.

James nodded, “Want me to be quiet then?”

“Yeah,”

He listened and the quiet lull from before resumed.

Lily closed her eyes. Regulus and James could be her vision for now. All she needed to do
was listen and feel. Listen to the metal dials of telescope scrape against each other in tandem
with the rustle of the invisibility cloak. Feel the warmth of skin pressed against skin and the
cosy lining of the coat she was wearing.

She felt herself begin to drift off and lean to one side, whose shoulder she was resting on, she
didn’t know.

Chapter End Notes

Alors nous allons avoir cette conversation ou non? = Are we going to have this
conversation or no?
Tais-toi = Shut up
Pense plus vite. Kai retournera dans une ou deux minute = Think faster, Kai'll come
back in a few minutes
Non. Tu peux me parler en français = No, you can talk to me in french
Seulement quoi = just what?
Nous parlons plustard = we'll talk later

If you don't know who freud is, you have a peace of mind I long for

Thank you so much for reading! Its been lovely to see and read all your comments, I
really appreciate them a lot!
 The Revealing Consequences of Pranks
Chapter Summary

Egad! A prank!

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

REGULUS

Regulus couldn’t focus and he kept picking at his nails, which would then make him think of
Sirius and he focused even less.

Turns out, spending the night comforting Lily Evans, letting her fall asleep next to you, then
helping James Potter carry her to bed, did not do much to quell the invasive thoughts of her
and Potter in Regulus’ head.

He slept that night and dreamt of her head on his shoulder even though he couldn’t really
remember if it had been. He dreamt of James’ soft thank you once they’d brought Lily to her
room and the kind quirk of the corners of his mouth.

He’d dreamt of the way Lily had looked at him, just moments before James had entered. He
dreamt of the way James had touched his arm, and the sincerity that had come with it.

Usually when Regulus couldn’t stop thinking about something, he painted but unfortunately
his model was part of the problem and he hated working on two things at once so instead he
sat curled by the fire, a book in his hand.

There was a faint lavender smell to the common room that Regulus hadn’t ever noticed
before, but he didn’t think anything of it.

It was Halloween, which meant everyone was on edge, waiting for the inevitable prank that
would come. No one had seen any of the Marauders all day, which only added to the
suspenseful atmosphere.

Joston came into the room, glancing around. She didn’t seem to notice Regulus. He was
sitting facing the fire, curled up in a chair. He’d only seen her because he’d heard her come in
and peaked over the armrest of the chair.

She sat down on one of the sofa’s and pulled a vial full of pale green liquid from her pocket.
Regulus frowned. He might have recognized it but he wasn’t sure exactly from where.
Joston pulled out her wand and murmured a spell Regulus couldn’t fully understand.
Regulus’ eyes widened as blood began to appear at the tip of her thumb.

She looked around once more and Regulus ducked behind the chair. He didn’t know what she
was doing but he wanted absolutely no part of it. Joston could ruin her own life, but she
would not screw up his.

But he was curious.

He peeked over the armrest again and he saw Joston walking up the steps to her dorm. The
vial was sitting, right in the middle of the room, uncorked. Regulus stood up and put his book
down, walking towards it.

He picked it up gently, swirling the continents a bit. It had changed from the sage colour of
before into more of a pine-like hue. Regulus wafted the smell towards him, it didn’t have a
specific odour, but it did feel familiar.

The liquid suddenly began to shift and change colour. The green darkened even more and
became a horrible black. Regulus frowned, trying to decipher the sudden change.

A hint of a memory twitched at the back of Regulus’ mind and his eyes widened in
recollection and realisation, when he heard a pop and the glass vial shattered in his palm.

It set off a chain reaction.

Suddenly, vials were appearing and shattering all around him, creating a familiar mess of
black goo on the Slytherin walls. The sound of breaking glass roared in Regulus’ ears and his
hands shot up to cover his ears. He crouched down, trying to keep as much of him safe from
the goo as possible but the damage had already been done.

When the shatters finally stopped, Regulus looked around him.

It was a mirror image of what had happened in the potions classroom with James. Black
slime coated the stone, dripping onto the carpet. Regulus’ book had been completely
drenched in it, which he found as more of a blessing. It was dreadfully boring.

Regulus himself looked worse than the room. The mess had gotten into his hair and it had
lost any volume and neatness he strived for. His palm was bleeding where it had held the vial
as was his cheek. One of the glass bits had nicked him.

Students began to flood down the stairs, the popping noises drawing them from their
bedrooms.

Regulus grabbed his wand from his pocket and cast a quick cleaning spell but it did nothing.
He remembered telling James that this substance couldn’t be cleaned without a Clean-All
potion, he also remembered telling him that they’d used the last of it.

Regulus swore under his breath as students filed out into the common room. A few stared at
Regulus with both sympathetic and accusatory glances, but most were focused on the
wreckage that was their common room.
Barty and Evan pushed through the crowd of people to Regulus' side.

“What happened to you?” Evan asked, gaping at Regulus.

Regulus glared at his friend. As if it wasn’t already obvious what had happened, “Guess,” He
spat, trying to clean himself off to no avail.

“Really Reg, I have no clue,”

“Was it your brother?” Barty asked, giving Regulus his sweatshirt to change into quickly.

Regulus accepted it, quickly pulling off his wrecked shirt and slipping into Barty’s clothes. It
had fleece lining it and a snake pattern on the front, “it was probably his idea, but he didn’t
cause the explosion,”

“Who did?”

Regulus bit his lip and glanced around the room, looking for Joston. She was talking to some
other seventh years. He noticed Slytherin’s head boy was gone, he must have left to get a
teacher.

“Regulus? Did you see who did it?”

Regulus hesitated, but shook his head eventually. He didn’t know why Joston had done it,
and he was sure his brother and his friends were involved. He preferred to know the full
extent of the situation before ratting out his Quidditch captain.

“Damn,” Evan said, “Let’s get you to Pomfrey, she’ll treat that cut,”

Regulus had honestly forgotten about the wound. It hurt a bit, but he had plenty of scars. This
wouldn’t be the first time a cut had gone untreated.

Despite his protests, Barty and Evan walked him down to the infirmary. He was still covered
in the goo which drew a few strange glances, but he paid it no mind. He just let Evan steer
him around.

When they got to the infirmary there were a few other people in similar situations to Regulus.
None of them were bleeding like he was, so Barty and Evan brought Madame Pomfrey over
straight away.

She placed a hand on his cheek and made a soft tutting noise, “What happened here then?”

“Glass shattered,” Regulus explained, “Our potion was in vials that broke, I was there when it
happened. No one else in Slytherin is hurt and none of them have this stuff on them either,”
He raised his hand to show off the dripping black slime.

“That's lucky,” Madame Pomfrey said, “there were quite a few Hufflepuffs that got caught in
the Marauder's crossfire,”
She grabbed her wand and muttered a spell. The cuts on his hands closed and the blood
cleared up but the goo stayed. She frowned at that. Then shook her head a bit and touched her
wand to Regulus’ cheek, healing the cut there as well.

Just as she finished, Professor McGonagall entered the hospital wing. Madame Pomfrey
straightened immediately and went over to her colleague.

“Have you been able to locate any of the boys?” She asked McGonagall, who shook her
head.

“No, no one saw them all day, but no students were injured?”

“Just one so far,” Madame Pomfrey gestured to Regulus who gave a small wave.

“Good,” McGonagall said, “And every house has been hit with this?”

Pomfrey nodded, “I can’t get it out of them either, your students have managed to create a
rather impressive potion,”

A flutter of pride manifested on McGonagall features before she forced it down, “Well, it's
not as if we weren’t expecting it, all things considered, it was a rather tame jest- ah Albus,
Horace,”

Professor Dumbledore and Slughorn came through the infirmary doors, the latter with more
of a pittering gait to him.

“Poppy, how are the students?”

“Fine Albus, only one student was injured and it was a quick fix. The problem is the potion.
Everyone is covered in it and I can’t get it off,”

Dumbledore stroked his beard thoughtfully, “Horace, do you have any idea what it might
be?”

“I’m afraid not sir,” The potions master responded, staring bewildered around the room,
“Their brilliance and resourcefulness is truly commendable,”

Regulus suppressed the urge to roll his eyes. It was smart, and he had a bit of respect for
James for putting two and two together. But it should be obvious to a potions master.

The goo was a botched Draught of Living Death potion. James must have come up with it
after they brewed one together. That was why Joston had bled into the potion. Any potions
master worth their salt should have been able to decipher the prank.

“Excuse me, Professors?” Regulus raised his hand slightly and told them what he knew. He
didn’t mention Joston, he knew how much her perfect record mattered to her, and she had
already been angry with him once in the past month.

When he finished recounting the information, Dumbledore nodded sagely, “That does seem
to align with the lavender scent students have reported smelling in the common rooms. Thank
you Mr. Black,”

Regulus nodded and lay down in the bed Madame Pomfrey had made up for him. Evan and
Barty had been ushered out as more students coated in black swarmed into the room. It
seemed even the Gryffindor common room had been wrecked.

Regulus closed his eyes, they’d probably end up sleeping in the great hall tonight which was
a bother. Regulus hated sleeping with everyone else and often found it difficult to actually
rest, so now was the time.

He woke up a few hours later, no longer covered in goo with Pandora at his side.

She was reading a book, her brows furrowed in concentration. She had a patch of black in her
hair that stood out harshly against the light bond. She looked up and smiled at Regulus when
he sat up, rubbing his eyes.

“Evening Lucy! I thought I’d stay with you and make sure you got to the great hall,”

Regulus lay back down in his bed with a groan, sinking deeper into the covers, “Tell Pomfrey
I feel ill and can’t sleep with everyone else,”

“Do you really?”

Regulus stretched out languidly, a yawn escaping his mouth, “No, but I’m comfortable,”

“No Lucy, you’ve got to come down,”

Regulus groaned and mashed his face into the pillow. He always liked waking up after a good
sleep. The feeling of drowsy numbness that tickled the edges of your mind and muddled your
thoughts felt like relief to Regulus.

Pandora yanked the covers away from Regulus and he let out a soft whine and shivered at the
feeling of cold air. He curled into himself, mourning his blankets.

“Up you get, Lucy. You've already missed supper,”

Regulus grunted as an answer, but sat up anyway, rubbing his eyes. He glared sleepily at
Pandora but knew the ferocity of it had been stolen by his exhaustion.

Pandora smiled softly and extended a hand, “You are so adorable when you’re like this,”

“Shut up,” He grumbled, accepting her hand. He was still wearing Barty’s sweater, which
was long on him and forced him to have sweater paws. He was also wearing loose, fleece
trousers which he didn't remember owning.

“Whose are these?” He asked, gesturing to the trousers.

Pandora glanced back at him, “They’re mine. See, they’ve got an eagle on the ass,”
Regulus blanched and twisted around, trying to see his backside. Sure enough, there was a
small bird on the right. He stared at Pandora.

“I cannot wear these,”

“They’re all you’ve got Lucy,”

Regulus groaned. Not only did he have sweater paws, but he was wearing Pandora’s trousers.
This would do nothing to quell the dating rumours surrounding the two of them.

Pandora had a lot of rumours surrounding her. Some of them, like the one where she’d
poisoned the food and made everyone ill, were based in fact, although that had been an
accident. Most of them, like the one where she and Regulus were involved romantically, were
entirely fiction.

He didn’t even know how that started though he suspected Evan had something to do with it.

Pandora led him into the great hall and walked him over to where Barty, Evan and,
surprisingly, Xenophilius, were sitting.

There was a tense atmosphere, which Pandora ignored, sitting down between Xenophilius
and Evan.

“Hello everyone, I’ve brought you Regulus,” She said, gesturing dramatically towards him.

Regulus frowned and sat down next to Barty. They’d already set up a place for him to sleep
which he supposed was nice and he should say thank you, but he didn’t.

Barty tousled Regulus’ hair, “Good to see you not covered in that shit Reg,”

“Thanks,” He said dryly, shoving Barty in the side. The other boy chuckled and shoved him
back.

“Its strange they could get it off of Lucy but not the common room,” Pandora said, “You’d
think that would be their first priority,”

Regulus shrugged, “It probably takes a lot more time to get it off the walls and out of the
carpets,”

They talked some more about whatever came to mind. Xenophilius didn’t contribute much
which made Regulus wonder why he was even there if not to piss off Evan.

Eventually, the teachers put out the candles and the people around them began to lie down.

Pandora was the first of them to settle in her makeshift bed, followed quickly by Xenophilius.
Regulus went next and he heard Evan and Barty stay up, talking in hushed tones for another
half hour or so, before finally going to sleep.

Regulus couldn’t sleep. As he’d expected, being around so many people really put him off.
He also didn't want to dream. The last dream he’d had had been about Lily and James and he
was tired of thinking about them.

Regulus sighed softly, closing his eyes. Eventually he’d pass out, until then, he just had to not
think about James Potter and Lily Evans.

Regulus was a light sleeper. He always woke up when one of his dorm mates came in late or
even when the sun managed to hit him straight in the eye as it rose. He’d expected to wake up
early considering the amount of things surrounding him that might wake him up.

However, he hadn’t expected to wake up at five in the morning to dozens of screams.

It was a cacophonic chaos. Regulus could barely get a hold of his surroundings as people all
around him shot up and covered their ears.

High pitched shrieks harmonised with guttural cries all around him and Regulus shoved his
head under his pillow.

Next to him, Barty shot up blearily, a confused expression clouding his features. Evan
followed immediately after.

“What’s going on!?” He yelled, covering his ears.

Regulus shrugged. The only way to be heard over the screaming was by yelling yourself, and
yelling only contributed to the chaos.

Regulus glanced around, trying to see what caused the reactions. It didn’t look like enough
people were yelling to create such a loud noise. He surveyed the room and noticed that there
were frames on the walls. They all had backgrounds, but none had people in them.

An idea began to form in Regulus’ mind as he scanned the room for a particular frame. He
saw it and stood up, making his way across the room.

“Where are you going?” Barty yelled, grabbing Regulus’ leg and holding him in place.

Regulus shook him off and made his way to one of the paintings. The screaming got louder
as he approached. It was the farmhouse scene that usually housed his model. But there was
no one there as there hadn’t been for a good amount of time.

He examined it more closely. Even when there weren’t people in a frame, there was
movement. A breeze would shake flowers or the sun would flicker and hide behind clouds.
But now, there was no movement at all.

The swing where Regulus’ model usually sat didn’t swing in with the wind, leaves didn’t fall,
clouds didn’t move.

He felt his pockets for his wand and pulled it out, pointing it at the frame and casting a spell,
“Revelio!”

The painting began to shift and change and the screaming got even louder making Regulus
drop his wand and cover his ears. He went down on his knees, looking for his wand again. It
had rolled under someone's knee and he uttered an apology as he grabbed it.

When he stood up again, his hands still covering his ears, he saw his model. She was sitting
in her swing and her mouth hung open. Regulus frowned. She still wasn’t moving, as if she’d
been frozen.

“Finite Incantatem,” He yelled, pointing his wand at the portrait again. The woman stopped
screaming suddenly and stood up, walking towards Regulus. She looked confused and
covered her own ears.

Realisation dawned on Regulus and he felt a rush of admiration at the cleverness it took to
come up with this prank. The diversion of the botched Draught of LIving Death drawing
everyone into one place, then using portraits as a makeshift alarm clock.

He went back to his friends and huddled in a circle with them.

“The portraits!” He yelled, but only got confused glances in return.

“What?!” Pandora screamed back.

Regulus groaned and grabbed her and Evan’s arm, dragging them to a nearby portrait. The
screaming was unbearable when they were this close.

Regulus cast Finite Incantatem first this time and then Revelio. The screaming quieted and a
moustached man wearing a monocle was revealed.

He turned to his friends, and they nodded, understanding.

Regulus went around the great hall, undoing the charms one after the other. A few of the
portraits were difficult to reach but eventually he got them and the screaming subsided.

Students began to come out from under their pillows and removed their hands from their ears.
At the front of the room, Dumbledore clapped, drawing everyone’s attention.

“It would seem that our marauders have organised a practical joke for us. While we
commend them on their clever use of magic, we also must punish them for their immaturity.
If everyone could clear the great hall, your teachers will clean the common rooms and they’ll
be ready for you to use by tonight,”

Students around them groaned and Regulus shared their sentiments. Every year, every
holiday, they played some stupid prank that bothered everyone and all they ever got for it was
detention.

Pandora turned to him, a bright grin on her face, “well that was spectacular! I’ll have to ask
Remus how they did it later,”

Regulus and his friends began to file out of the hall and Regulus raised his eyebrow at
Pandora, “I didn’t know you two were friends,”
“We’re not just yet, but I’ll wear him down,” She glanced sideways at Regulus, a
mischievous glint in her eyes, “You two are remarkably similar,”

Regulus scoffed, but allowed himself to feel fondness towards his friend. Pandora had worn
him down, he was sure she could do it to someone as soft as Remus.

His classes were uneventful for the rest of the day. Students were abuzz with the excitement
of this morning. A few were exasperated by the immaturity, others, particularly the younger
students, found it clever and wanted to meet the masterminds behind it.

They didn’t get to, the marauders showed up for their first class, transfiguration which
Regulus took with them, and McGonagall immediately ushered them out of the room. She
returned a few minutes later, alone, with a sour expression on her face. She assigned them
theory for the rest of the class, which was a sure sign of her frustration.

They weren’t in Regulus’ potions class either but Lily was.

He sat next to her, trying to ignore her but when she showed her soft smile, he was forced to
return it.

“Regulus, how are you?”

“Fine,” He responded. He supposed he didn’t really need Lily anymore now that he had his
model back. The woman from the portrait would be back now that she wasn’t a part of the
marauders plan.

Lily grabbed some parchment and began jotting down the notes Slughorn had written on the
board. There was a candle a few feet away from her that illuminated her features beautifully.

Regulus pulled out his own parchment and grabbed a pencil instead of a quill. He began to
sketch Lily.

She was interesting to draw, her features sometimes confused him. She had round, chubby
cheeks, but she would bite the insides so that they looked sharp and defined. It created a sort
of optical illusion. Her eyes were quite lovely as well.

He wasn’t familiar with green eyes, they were rare. Hers were such a pretty sage that Regulus
felt compelled to grab some coloured pencils and add that detail to her.

As he drew, he thought of things Lily reminded him of. Her hair matched the candle’s fire,
her skin matched porcelain, her cheeks matched roses.

When Regulus was drawing he found it easy to fall into his subconscious and allow it to do
the work for him. His pencil would move across the page creating Lily, while his mind stood
frozen at her image.

He was reminded, as he drew, of the Greek myths he read as a child. Every myth concerning
Aphrodite told tales of how beautiful she was and cautioned the reader that she was prideful
and should never be insulted.
Regulus was not religious or superstitious but he did err on the side of caution and prefered to
not potentially offend a very powerful goddess.

But Lily, in this moment or in any other, would have burnt Aphrodite until nothing but ash
remained. He didn’t think he would ever know what it was to see something truly beautiful
unless he was looking at Lily.

“I meant to thank you Regulus,”

He blinked, she’d spoken to him. He should answer.

“For staying with me at the astronomy tower. I’m sure that was confusing,”

Regulus nodded wordlessly. she was right, but it hadn’t been confusing for the reasons she
thought it was.

It was confusing because he’d wanted to kiss her. It was confusing because she was beautiful.
It was confusing because he didn’t remember feeling so angry before at someone who he
didn’t know the name of.

it wasn’t confusing because she had been upset. everything had felt clear when she was upset,
he knew he had to help her, he knew he had to stay with her. it had made more since that’s
anything else.

“I hope the ruckus this morning didn’t bother you too much. I suppose you’ve got your
original model back so you don’t need me anymore,”

Regulus shot his head up. She was smiling at him, her lovely eyes scrunching in the corners.

Regulus shook his head, “I’ve already started with you, I might as well continue with you,”

Lily looked pleased, “Oh, well that's great!” She winked, “I rather like being your model, to
be completely honest. You’re a brilliant artist,”

Regulus felt his cheeks heat up and he looked back at his drawing. Lily had sat opposite him
today, in Sirius’ usual seat instead of next to him so she couldn’t see it.

“You should see Pandora’s work, she’s much better than I,”

“Yeah, what does she draw?”

“Abstract usually, lots of colours and not much structure,”

“That’s very different from yours,”

“Yeah, but hers is more emotional I think,” He sat back in his chair, admiring his work. It
wasn’t bad for a quick sketch. He glanced at the clock on the wall, class was almost over.

“What do you mean?” Lily asked. She was twirling her quill between her fingers, it was
rather impressive to Regulus.
“If you ask me to paint an emotion, I’d find it difficult. I could paint someone who felt that
emotion easily, but I can’t portray the feeling itself. Pandora can,”

Regulus began to pack up his things, but paused. He was meant to have a tutoring session
with James today. They were going to start at 3:30, which meant there was really no point for
Regulus to leave, the problem was he wasn’t sure Potter would be there since he hadn’t been
present at any classes today.

Regulus hoped he would come. He had plans to brew Amortentia again, they’d tried it once
but Potter had ruined their attempt so he’d put it off. He’d also told Pandora she could sit in
on this for her painting.

“I’ll have to ask her about it next time we have rounds,” Lily said, “Think Slughorn will talk
for much longer?”

Regulus groaned softly, “Merlin I hope not, he’s not exactly a dynamic teacher,”

Lily laughed softly and Regulus swore he’d never heard something so lovely.

He kept coming back to that word when thinking of her.

Lovely Lily, Lily Lovely.

Slughorn dismissed them a few minutes later and Lily waved goodbye as she left.

Regulus didn’t end up packing his things, he stayed in the classroom in what felt like a
drunken stupor.

One smile.

One smile and one wave and she’d shaken Regulus. She’d stolen the stone he stood on and
dragged him into a pit of tall green forest, thorny, yellow, red tipped roses, and bright,
burning candles that scorched his skin in a tantalising pleasure.

Slughorn waved goodbye to him and he didn’t respond, he simply stared where Lily had been
sitting, her image imprinted in his mind.

He took the drawing he’d done of her in his hands, wanting suddenly to tear it into pieces.

Regulus had created painting after painting. He’d sold them, he’d been commissioned, he’d
been watched and studied. His parents had made sure the world knew their son was one of
the most talented painters of his generation.

But how could he have the gall to think he could ever recreate Lily Evans? Da Vinci would
have burnt all his supplies knowing nothing he could have created would compare to her.

Regulus clenched the paper. He was meant to be forgetting all about Lily. He was meant to
think she was less than him, but how could she be? How could lovely Lily be anything but
ideal?
He sighed, at least he wasn’t thinking about James much.

“Hiya Sunshine! Ready for our lesson?”

Regulus spun around quickly, grateful for the distraction from Lily.

His gratitude was very quickly gone.

James was wearing casual clothing but not the sweaters Regulus had seen him in before. He
was wearing a form-fitting white t-shirt, a long leather jacket, and jeans. Tight, jeans,
Regulus might add.

Tight, low-rise jeans that made Regulus’ mouth water.

He was flushed as well, he might have run here, and his hair was a mess.

What was it with James and Lily invading his mind? Why couldn’t they just stay away and
leave Regulus to bottle up his emotions and suffer? He had been perfectly happy before Lily
had decided to enter his life with her pretty green eyes. James, and his boyish grin, had come
with her, trapping Regulus in a cage of confusion and charm.

“Hi Lucy! James and I ran into each other so we came here together,”

Regulus could have kissed Pandora at that moment. He didn’t think he’d ever appreciated
anyone more than Pandora, love of his life, Lovegood.

“Good, glad you’re both here,” He said, in a strangled voice, “I haven’t got anything set up so
you’ll need to help me,”

“That's not like you Sunshine,” James pulled out his books, throwing them ungracefully on
the table, “Did you not sleep well?”

James winked and Regulus was suddenly full of very confusing emotions.

On one hand, he hadn’t slept well and it was entirely James’ fault. He should be very upset.

On the other hand, James had winked at him.

Regulus decided to focus on his first thought, “No, Potter, I was woken up by screaming
portraits,”

He grinned, throwing an arm around Pandora, “Did you like the trick we did with the draught
of living death? You helped come up with that one,”

He glared at James, trying desperately to stop thinking about how well his glasses fit his face.

“Shut up, how did you even coerce people into doing that?”

James put a finger to his mouth, winking again, “Can’t say, I gave my word I’d leave them
anonymous,”
“I helped,” Pandora piped in, with that lyrical tone of hers.

Regulus raised an eyebrow, “Yeah? Didn’t peg you for the pranking type,”

“Oh I’m not, but Remus asked so I said I would,”

Regulus grabbed the potion he’d set up yesterday. Amortentia had a twenty-four hour waiting
period which Regulus hadn’t wanted to deal with.

“Potter, start grinding the crystalized moonpowder and and the belladonna into a powder,
Pandora, you can sit if you’d like,”

They worked well together, Regulus mostly instructed James and tried not to be distracted by
him. Pandora studied, doing nothing to keep Regulus occupied.

James was as much of a nuisance as usual. He got into Regulus’ space, touched his hands,
called him sunshine. He made Regulus blush and stutter and glare and Regulus couldn’t even
bring himself to hate him for it.

It was probably the amortentia that was making him so susceptible to James. That was all.

“So I just drop it in?”

When James was confused, he stuck out his bottom lip and furrowed his brow. It should not
be as endearing as it was.

“Yeah, if we’ve done it right, it should dissolve on impact,”

James’ shrugged and the pearl he’d been holding fell into the potion with a plop.

As Regulus had hoped, it dissolved immediately and the potion fizzed for a moment. James
stirred the potion again, once counterclockwise, once clockwise, and the enticing scent of ash
and lillies filled the room.

James sniffed the air as well, a smile overtaking his features.

“So,” Pandora sat up in her chair, her pencil poised over the papers, “Describe what you
smell to me Regulus,”

Regulus groaned, he’d almost forgotten why Pandora was actually here. He didn’t want to
think about what he was attracted to or who his true love was. He was already confused
enough.

But Pandora was looking at him expectantly so he sighed and told her what he smelt.

“Ash, lilies and violin music, like I said before,”

Pandora frowned, looking over her notes, “Elaborate on violin music,”

He sniffed the air again. He wasn’t sure how to describe it. It was abstract, not something
Regulus could have ever put into words.

“I don’t know Panda, it’s complicated. It smells like violin music sounds,”

Pandora groaned and snapped her notebook shut, resting her chin on the desk, “you’re useless
Lucy,”

“Maybe you need to listen to some violin music?” James offered, giving her a gentle pat on
the back and a kind smile.

Pandora glared at him, “It’s a bit difficult to find a violin player these days, you can’t just go
around asking for people, and Hogwarts doesn’t use technology for a reason that is beyond
me,”

Regulus began to bottle the potion, putting some aside for Pandora and James.

“Thanks Sunshine,” James smiled at him, “And I may be able to help you Pandora. You
know I can play the violin,”

She perked up quickly, beaming at James, “Really?? That’s brilliant! Lucy, can I take him to
our studio?”

“If I can take my model, sure,”

“Hang on,” James interrupted, “I’ll need a violin you know,”

“That's fine!” Pandora exclaimed, grabbing Regulus and James by the arm and dragging them
out of the room.

James laughed as she pulled them around, practically bouncing with her excitement.

“Is she always like this?” James grinned, joy catching on his features in a beautifully artistic
way. Regulus felt a familiar rush of affection and warmth at the image.

He’d never known happiness until he’d known James. He’d known what it was, and he’d
known people were supposed to feel it, but he hadn’t known how freeing it could be until a
hot July day.

James had sent Sirius a letter, it was his first one since Sirius had come back to Grimmauld
place, and Regulus had watched his brother’s face light up in a way he both envied and
relished.

Sirius had become happy because of James, and Regulus watched.

He couldn't think of that right now.

THey rounded the corner that led them to the Come and Go room and bumped right into Lily.

“Ah, Lily! We were just looking for you!” Pandora said gleefully.
The red haired girl smiled, “What for?” she asked, glancing at Regulus, “Do you need me?”

He nodded, “We’re going somewhere else today,”

Pandora bounded ahead, standing in front of the empty wall and closing her eyes.

The familiar door appeared and the tension inside Regulus’ body eased. He hadn’t painted in
here for a few weeks at least and he was looking forward to it. There was nothing like it.

“What is this place?” James asked, clearly amazed.

“House elves call it the Come and Go room. It caters itself to your needs,” Regulus
explained. His easel was already set up, Pandora must have brought it over. She often used
his pieces to inspire her own work.

Lily walked over to the walls, which were covered in finished and unfinished paintings alike.
She traced her fingers over one of Regulus’, an ocean scene he’d done at the beginning of the
year. It had been inspired by his uncle's cabin.

“These are beautiful,” She breathed, “Will I look like this?” She asked, turning to Regulus
with wide eyes.

No Regulus thought you’ll be better and still it won’t compare to what you truly are

“Something like that,” he responded.

James picked up a violin, which had appeared at Pandora’s request, and tucked it under his
chin. He raised the bow and played what Regulus recognized as C major chord.

“Brilliant,” He beamed, then turned to Pandora, “You want me to play something?”

She nodded enthusiastically and James raised the bow again, a lovely sound floating from its
strings.

LILY

Modelling with James there as well turned out to be much easier than expected.

Lily had thought that perhaps without the chance to talk to Regulus about him, she would get
uncomfortable, or maybe having two other sets of eyes on her instead of the grey ones she’d
grown comfortable with would put her off, but it had been fine. Better even.

Regulus was the same as always. A passive voyeur, his contributions, no more than soft
commands and corrections. He hadn’t touched her yet, but she assumed he would soon. He
had her standing today, instead of kneeling.

Pandora had been no problem at all. She was generally a pleasant person and hadn’t even
paid Lily much attention. She sat at her easel and drew. She was much more dynamic than
Regulus and even stood up and walked around her canvas. But she didn't make Lily any more
nervous than usual.
The one who Lily had been most worried about had been James.

She was in love with him, despite that odd moment in the astronomy tower with Regulus, she
was in love with James. He sent a rush of safety and warmth through her she’d never felt
before. Having him see her like this, when she felt most powerful and vulnerable and at the
same time, might have been awful.

But it wasn’t, because it was James and nothing involving James Potter could ever be awful.

James played his violin, Regulus painted, and Lily felt more wonderful than she ever had
before.

Eventually, he stopped playing and Lily found herself missing the comforting waves of
sound.

“I hate to ruin your flow Pandora, but my hands are getting very tired and I do have detention
tomorrow,” James apologised.

“Ugh, that's fine,” Pandora muttered, her brush pausing on the canvas.

“Don’t move your head Lily,” Regulus chastised.

“Sorry,”

Pandora sighed, “Honestly I’m getting tired as well, you just about done Lucy?”

Lily didn’t hear his answer, she was staring straight ahead at the walls. It wasn’t a bad view,
she could admire the paintings Regulus and Pandora had up.

Regulus had been right about their styles being different. Pandora’s works were much less
realistic than Regulus’ and she made use of colours more than he did. Lily thought she might
have preferred Regulus’ though.

He may not have been able to directly portray emotions on a canvas, but when he put them
on a person, it was beautiful. He created such raw imagery in just a few strokes of a brush.
Lily wished she could have been an artist, but unfortunately, the only artistry she’d ever done
was macaroni art in primary school.

“Lily?” Someone put a hand on her shoulder and she snapped her head to look at them.
Regulus was staring at her, concern masking his features.

She blinked, relaxing a bit under his touch, “Yeah?”

“You’re okay to move now, I’m done for today,”

His lips were parted just a bit and they were pink. She’d never noticed how pink they were.

“Right,” She swallowed. James was standing by the door, his bag shouldered. Pandora had
already left it looked like.
“You coming Lils?” James asked, a crooked smile on his face.

She nodded, a bit shakily, and grabbed her things. As they walked away from Regulus and
Pandora’s studio, a thought dawned on her.

“Have you two had supper yet?” She asked.

“We have not,” James answered, “You want to head down to the kitchens?”

Regulus shook his head, “I’ll eat later,”

Lily frowned, “Do you ever eat supper? I swear you’re missing it half the time I see you,”

“I’ve never had a big appetite,”

“Well,” James stated, “I want company while I eat so you’ll be eating with me today,”

Regulus protested for a bit until he eventually allowed them to drag him down to the kitchen.
Lily had liked the kitchens a lot more since spending time with Regulus.

She’d managed to pry all sorts of stories from him about house elves he was friends with.
He’d even talk about Kreacher in a light she’d never seen him in before. Sirius had told her
about him, and she would always hold a certain hatred for the elf, but Regulus spoke of him
fondly, which made her smile.

The elves provided them with a meal and they talked. Well, she and James did, Regulus
mostly listened.

“Moony’s easy to shop for, you get him a book or some tea and he’s set, Sirius is hard,”
James was saying.

“Peter’s the hardest,” Lily disgreed, “He likes nothing but chess and quidditch,”

“That's two options right there!”

Lily laughed and sipped on some hot cocoa. The warmth of the mug sunk into her bones,
filling her with a sweet, senseless, calm.

“What do you think, sunshine? What should I get your brother?”

Regulus shrugged, “I’ve never been good at gift giving, we don’t really celebrate the holidays
at home,”

“Yeah?” James asked, putting his chin on his hand, “What do you do?”

“Christmas eve there's a dinner with the family. The day before that, there's usually a big
banquet,”

“We’ve been there a couple times,” James said, “Mum always said it was pretentious,”

Regulus laughed, “It sort of is, but I can sometimes get out of it,”
“What about Christmas morning?” Lily asked, taking another sip of her drink. This seemed
like some pure-blood thing she wouldn't get.

“We have gifts I guess, but it's all very practical. I got Evan school books last year and he
thought I was mad,”

Lily laughed at the image of Regulus carefully picking out gifts and ending up with a bunch
of textbooks.

“Sirius tried to get us muggle stuff once but mum got mad and started checking all out
presents before we opened them,”

“What did he get you?” Lily asked. Regulus didn’t seem like the type to be well versed in
muggle appliances. Even James, the least ignorant pure-blood Lily had ever met, couldn’t
work a toaster to save his life.

“Shoes, Doc something. He wears them all the time. He got dad an electric razor and mum a
sewing machine. They threw a fit,” Regulus spoke fondly and Lily felt her heart tighten.

How many times had she sat with Sirius while he sobbed to her about his childhood? How
many times had he punished himself because he thought he abandoned his little brother? And
how many times had Lily reassured him and told Regulus wasn’t someone that could be
saved, or deserved to be saved?

Looking at him now, tousled curls and sad eyes, she wanted to grab his mother by the
shoulders and force the hag to listen.

“I can imagine,” James said, “Did you ever wear the shoes?”

Regulus shook his head, “Mum took them, figured she’d destroyed them or something,” He
took a sip of his drink. He’d gotten coffee instead of hot cocoa like Lily and James. They’d
both told him it was a bad idea and he wouldn’t be able to sleep but he hadn't listened.

“Alright, best gift you’ve ever gotten, Lils go,”

Lily thought about it for a moment, before landing on one, “My sister got me a necklace
once. The only Christmas gift she’s given me since I came here. Granted, it was about three
pounds from the local second hand shop, but I appreciated it,”

“What did it look like?” Regulus asked.

“Oh it was horrid. Bright pink pearls, tacky, looked cheap but it was a gift from my sister so
I’ve still got it,” She knew she sounded remorseful, maybe even bitter, but she didn’t care.
She trusted James not to judge her, and strangely, she trusted Regulus too.

“Your sister sucks,” James stated, and Lily laughed a bit, “Regulus what's yours?”

He shrugged, “Mum got me sheet music once, that was nice,”

“Yeah? What do you play?”

“Piano,”

James brightened, “You know any violin accompaniments? We could play together if you
did,”

“I don’t play anymore,” Regulus said sharply, the relaxed state he’d been in, disappearing
quickly.

Lily placed a hand on his, and he blinked at her. She smiled trying to ease the tension, “What
about you James? Best gift you’ve ever gotten?”

“My first broom. It created a quidditch giant,”

“It also created a giant ego,” Regulus muttered into his drink and James gasped dramatically.

“It's not ego if its accurate, sunshine,”

Regulus smiled, then stood up suddenly, pushing away his drink, “I'm heading to sleep, I’ll
see you both tomorrow,”

Lily waved goodbye and it wasn’t more than a few moments before she found herself missing
his presence again.

REGULUS

No.

No, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No!

Regulus panted as he reached his room, throwing the door open dramatically and launching
himself under his bed covers. He heard a few protests from his dorm mates but ignored them,
throwing up a quick silencing charm and shoving his face under his pillow.

No.

This could not happen.

He was supposed to have it under control. He was supposed to forget about it. He was
supposed to be perfect.

Regulus Black could not be in love with Lily Evans. And he could not be in love with James
Potter either.

He was the Black family heir. He was his parents' pride. He was perfect.

He was in love with Lily Evans and James Potter.

Chapter End Notes

oh my gosh writing pranks is so hard.

Also as I'm writing this, I've noticed it doesn't have much to do with the unfortunate but
ultimately pleasant consequences of advance potion making so we may be in for a name
change soon.

I don't know how to include this but know that McGonagall and Pomfrey are in love

Sorry for the delay in posting this, I wasn't really able to type for a few days so that put
me behind. I think I should get the next chapter out in a week maybe? Its end of term for
me right now so things are a bit strange, sorry.

I hope you're all enjoying this! Its so great to read your comments and see your kudos I
really appreciate it so much.
 The Romantic Consequences of Talking
Chapter Summary

Remus and Sirius talk things out (ish), Marlene and Dorcas are adorable, James and Lily
make moves

Chapter Notes

This chapter takes place over the course of a few days, I just figured I'd mention cause
I'm not sure it was entirely clear.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

REMUS

November was a brisk month and Remus thought it would have been a dull month if it
weren't for Sirius’ birthday.

They didn’t throw a large party like they usually did, mostly because they didn’t have time
between detention from their prank and schoolwork, but they sang him happy birthday and
promised to stay up all night to spend as much time with him as possible.

The day before, James had pulled Remus aside and told him he had no obligation to celebrate
if he didn’t want to but Remus had shoved that aside. As confused as his feelings towards
Sirius were, he knew it would kill him if Remus didn’t celebrate his birthday.

And honestly, Remus was getting tired of nursing his rage. It took so much energy to not
laugh at Sirius’ jokes or turn to him when Snape did something ridiculous. He just wanted it
to be done with.

He wanted to be petty for one more day though and only got Sirius a second hand book as a
gift.

Sirius had, of course, beamed at him and promised to read it, but Remus knew it would end
up on the shelves.

Right now, it sat on Sirius’ bed next to the rest of his gifts.

Andromeda had sent some records, Peter had gotten him some Quidditch equipment, the girls
had pooled their money together to get him a miniscule vanishing cabinet, James had
knocked it out of the park by getting him a picture of a motorbike he’d be able to ride once he
returned to James’ parents place.

Their gift hadn’t arrived yet, but Remus was sure it would be wonderful. Euphemia was a
brilliant gift giver.

James and Peter had already fallen asleep, which Remus was used to. James tended to make
big promises like staying up all night and not keep them. No one ever minded, especially not
Remus.

“You joking?” Sirius exclaimed, coming through the door, the invisibility cloak under his
arm, “They’re already asleep? It's only-” he glanced at the clock, “Okay, it’s one, but still!”

He slumped down next to Remus, pouting. The candlelight floated across his face, flickering
and changing which features were highlighted.

Remus always thought Sirius looked like a prince. He had regal, expensive features that
would have put any monarchs to shame.

“Thanks for stayin’ up Moony,” He smiled at him, his eyes bright.

Remus tried for a smile back, but when Sirius’ gaze faltered, he knew it fell short. He took a
breath and tried again, nudging Sirius in the side. He was meant to be reconciling with his
friend, not burning the bridge.

“It's no problem Padfoot, I like staying up with you,”

Sirius’ smile returned and he looked away from Remus. They stayed quiet for a moment,
James’ soft snores acting as a soundtrack for Remus’ thoughts.

He wanted Sirius’ to bring it up. Remus had never been good at being emotional. He prefered
keeping it inside, not like Sirius or James. Both of them wore everything they felt on their
sleeve.

But Remus wanted to be back to normal with Sirius, he wanted to tell him about the book he
was reading and complain about being a prefect. Then Sirius would say something snarky
and they’d laugh together.

“You want to go for a walk with me Moony?”

Remus nodded. The room was stuffy anyways.

Sirius led them up to the astronomy tower, Remus had noticed it was one of his favourite
places in the castle. He wondered if it had anything to do with his family, if Sirius would tell
him if it did.

They sat near the edge, a cool breeze ghosting their cheeks. You could see the Whomping
willow from here. He used to like Willow trees, he thought how its leaves hung down,
creating a safe haven, was pretty. Now, the leaves felt more like a cage to Remus.
Sirius leaned back, so he lay flat against the floor and looked to the ceiling, “Do you think
people change Moony?”

Remus frowned, rolling the question in his mind, toying with it. He looked to the sky,
thinking of his father.

“I suppose that depends on what the change is,”

Sirius sighed from where he was lying down. Remus didn’t look at him, he was still eyeing
the willow, wondering if maybe when he graduated, someone would find a better use for it.

“Moony,” Sirius asked, his voice small. That made Remus around.

He’d closed his eyes and spread his arms out on either side of him. Remus smiled, he looked
a bit like Jesus.

“Do you think I made a mistake leaving?”

Remus blinked, “leaving where?”

“Grimmauld,”

A bolt of anxiety shot down Remus’ spine, followed by a bitter regret. He’d let it go on for
too long, he’d nursed his anger for too long, swaddled it in everything he had and now Sirius
was thinking like this again.

“No,” Remus said firmly, “You didn’t make a mistake Sirius, I know what you’re thinking
but you’re not like them,”

Sirius kept his eyes closed and tapped absentmindedly on the wooden floors, “What if they're
like me though?” He opened his eyes, they held a sad acceptance in them, “I left my little
brother in that house moony,”

Remus felt himself shatter.

He crawled over to Sirius’ side, lying down next to him. He tilted his head to meet Sirius’
eyes, but they were still closed.

“You didn’t have a choice,” Remus said gently, brushing his knuckles against Sirius’ thigh,
“not a real one at least,”

Sirius sighed, squeezing his eyes tight, “I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought he’d
be fine, happy even. But he’s spiralling I can tell,” He raised his hands, covering his face,
“And he won’t talk to me because I left,”

Remus reached over, touching Sirius’ hand gently and pulling it away from his face. Sirius’
eyes were open now and he met Remus’.

“You didn’t have a choice,” Remus repeated, “You didn’t abandon him, you were beaten half
dead,” He hated dealing with Sirius when he was like this. He never knew what to say.
Sirius’ eyes stayed sad, “He won’t talk to me Moony. My little brother won’t talk to me,”

“It's not your fault,” Remus insisted, squeezing Sirius’ hand tightly, he knew touch usually
helped Sirius calm down and James wasn’t here to administer it.

Sirius closed his eyes again, nodding shakily, “I know, I know,” He sat up suddenly, running
his hands through his hair frustratedly, “I’m sorry Moony, you’re pissed at me and I’m
unloading all my shit onto you,”

“Hey,” Remus sat up, only to pull Sirius back to their position from before, “it’s fine Sirius,”

He took a breath, he wanted his Sirius back, “I haven’t been angry with you for a while now,”

Sirius’ eyes widened hopefully, “Yeah?”

Remus nodded, looking away from Sirius and letting his head fall back slightly, “Yeah,”

“But we haven’t been talking?”

“That cause I’m petty,”

Sirius barked out a laugh and Remus looked back at him, any residual anger dissipating from
his body. Truthfully, he’d known he would forgive Sirius. Because it was Sirius.

He turned his head to meet Remus’ eyes and the air shifted. Remus sucked in a breath. He
tried to look away, he couldn't let it go too far, but Sirius caught his chin with his fingers and
Remus knew he lost.

His eyes trapped Remus’ in their gaze. Remus spent a long time in his fifth year just staring
at Sirius and had catalogued each detail of his face, but even now he noticed things he hadn’t
before. The creases under his eyes, the brown in his black hair, the chip in his front tooth.

“Do you have freckles?” Sirius murmured, tracing his fingers across Remus’ cheeks.

Remus felt his breath catch in his throat at the touch, he didn’t like touching people, but there
was something about the way Sirius’ fingers grazed his cheeks reverently.

“Yeah,” He forced out, “Why?”

“I’ve been wondering,” Sirius’ voice wasn’t small anymore, but it was soft and gentle. His
middle finger went down to Remus’ jaw, “Did you know you have a mole here?”

Remus nodded, unable to speak anymore.

Sirius’ fingers trailed up his face, resting just under his eye, “you have one here too,”

Remus should move away. He should turn his head, Sirius was just being friendly, he’d
probably do the same thing with James. Remus shouldn’t get his hopes up.
But he’d seen the way Sirius touched James and it wasn’t like this. This was devout, this was
worship, this was something Remus had never known before.

“Do you wear chapstick?” Sirius asked, his eyes dropping down to Remus' mouth.

Remus shook his head again, trying to keep his thoughts in check. This meant nothing to
Sirius.

“Really?” His fingers dipping down to Remus’ lips. His middle finger traced the bottom one
as the index trailed across Remus’ cupids bow, “I wouldn’t have guessed,”

Remus’ lips parted involuntarily and Sirius’ mouth quirked up.

“Sirius,” Remus croaked out, a pitiful attempt at stopping the inevitable waterfall that had
been begging to rush since they’d first spoken to each other.

“Remus,” Sirius replied. He was getting closer to Remus, his eyes stuck to Remus’ lips.

“Sirius,” Remus repeated, barely a noise. He could feel Sirius’ breath on his skin, smell the
mint from his toothpaste.

“Moony,” Sirius breathed.

It surprised Remus that he was the one to bridge the gap between them. That he, rational,
logical, sensible, Remus, was the one to surge forward and taste Sirius’ lips.

It was minty, just as he’d expected it would be, and it was innocent. Sirius gasped as soon as
their lips touched, before pressing against Remus, pulling them close together with a hand on
his waist.

“Moony,” He mumbled, pulling away for just a second, before Remus brought them together
again.

DORCAS

Something was up with Lily.

She’d been disappearing most evenings, and not explaining it to any of her friends. Whenever
they tried to ask her about it, she’d just brush them off and say she was studying or
something. Dorcas was beginning to get worried.

Marlene, however, wasn’t.

“I’m telling you sweetheart, she’s fine,”

Dorcas glared at her girlfriend. They were curled up together on Marlene’s bed, Marlene’s
finger’s tangled in Dorcas’.
Marlene’s hair was a bit damp. She’d just come back from Quidditch practice and had taken a
quick shower before Dorcas had come over.

“Don’t you think it's strange she won’t tell us where she is?”

Marlene kissed her forehead softly, “You are adorable when you’re worried,”

Dorcas felt her face heat up and turned away from Marlene, making a show of her
annoyance, “Fuck off, I’m not adorable,”

Marlene pulled her into a tight hug, smushing their cheeks together, “You are,” she said,
pressing a kiss to Dorcas’ cheek, then her nose, then her forehead, eyebrow, jaw. She paused
her lips hovering over Dorcas’ in a question.

Dorcas smirked and closed the gap between them.

Kissing Marlene was one of the best feelings in the world. It lit up something in Dorcas,
burning her insides and making her skin hot.

Marlene shifted so she was straddling Dorcas’ hips and one of her hands trailed down
Dorcas’ body, coming to rest on her waist, while the other stayed tangled in Dorcas’ locs.

Dorcas gasped slightly into Marlene’s mouth, snaking her hands up Marlene’s shirt and
feeling the clasp of her bra.

She felt Marlene smirk against her lips, as her hand trailed lower onto Dorcas’ hips.

“This okay?” Marlene whispered against Dorcas, and she nodded. Her hands were shaking
where they touched Marlene’s skin.

“Yeah,” She murmured, “Better than okay,”

Marlene smiled and bent back down to kiss Dorcas.

She sighed into her mouth and let herself become lost in the sensation of skin on skin, lips on
lips. She could stay here forever.

Suddenly, there was a sharp bang against the window that made both girls jump.

Marlene immediately pulled away, so quickly that she lost her balance and fell off the bed.
Dorcas yelped and looked over the side to make sure she was alright.

“Marls!”

Marlene laughed and sent Dorcas an easy thumbs up that soothed her worries.

“Fucking hell,” She muttered, extending a hand to her girlfriend and helping her up, “What
was that?”

“Probably an owl,” Marlene said, making her way over to the window, “Yeah, its my mums,”
She grabbed the letter from the owl’s foot and tore it open, aggressively, giving the owl a bit
of food for its trouble.

“What does it say?” Dorcas asked, walking over and putting her chin on Marlene’s shoulder,
her eyes scanning the words. Unfortunately, it was written in Tagalog, and Dorcas had no
clue what it said.

“Wants me to come home for Christmas,”

Dorcas fought back a frown, she’d been hoping to spend Christmas with Marlene this year. It
would be their first one as a proper couple.

“You going?”

Marlene shrugged, “Probably, can’t really say no. I’ll talk to Peter and James, see if their
heading back,”

She threw the letter haphazardly on her desk and turned around, wrapping her arms around
Dorcas’ back, “I want to stay,” She flushed a bit, “With you,” she added, avoiding Dorcas’
gaze.

Dorcas smiled, Marlene was one of the bravest people she knew. She never backed down
from an argument and even sought them out. But whenever she had to admit that she actually
liked people and wanted to spend time with them, she’d get all nervous and red.

They were working on that together. Dorcas wasn’t much better, she could still barely kiss
Marlene without wondering how she ended up in this position.

“I want you to stay,” Dorcas pressed a quick kiss onto Marlene’s lips, “I like spending time
with you,”

She gave her another quick kiss before leading her back to the bed. They tumbled down onto
it, their legs tangled together and Dorcas ran her fingers through Marlene’s hair.

She’d dyed it in her fourth year and right now, the roots were growing out. Dorcas had
always liked Marlene’s hair, pin straight, thin, lovely.

Marlene moved her mouth so that it latched onto a sweet spot on Dorcas’ neck and she
gasped softly.

She couldn’t bring herself to deliberate about the holidays, or worry about anything right
now.

Not when she was splayed out like this, a marionette held by Marlene’s skilled fingers.

JAMES

Amortentia was a fickle thing.

James’ mum used to tell him a story of when she and their father were in school together.
She’d smelt lavender which ended up being a main ingredient in his fathers hair potions.
They hadn’t gotten together until much later in life but they always said their relationship was
fated to happen.

James always wanted a love like theirs. Evan when he was young and unsure of what exactly
it meant to love someone, he knew, when he grew up, he wanted a life like his parents had.

His mum would tease his dad and his dad would respond with loving jilts and taunts. It was
so easy and natural with them and he’d wanted something like that.

So far, he had not been able to achieve the simple, sweet, love at first sight, romance his
parents had. James had been in love with the same girl since before he knew what love was.

Lily had never made it easy for him, she glared and teased and James wouldn’t have had it
any other way.

He’d thought his Amortentia was just proof that she was the one for him.

Lilies. That one was obvious.

Cigarettes. Lily smoked. He didn’t approve of course, it was bad for your lungs, but he
wasn’t about to police the love of his life on what she could and couldn’t do.

And then french wine.

He’d never associated Lily with french wine, or any type of wine, really, but the first two
were enough to convince him. Even when Regulus had planted doubt in his mind, he’d
trusted his heart.

But a few days ago, he’d brewed it with Pandora and Regulus and he’d been excited to smell
the embodiment of his feelings for Lily, but it had changed.

He couldn’t smell cigarettes anymore. The lilies were just as strong as before as was the
wine, but the sting of the ash was no more than a memory, replaced with something much
more clean and sharp.

Ivory.

He didn’t even know what ivory smelt like. But the change only hastened the doubts James
was begining to harbour surrounding Lily. The amortentia had been a confidence boost, but
now that had slipped away from him and he was abandoned with his doubts.

He loved Lily, there was nothing that could ever change that. But she was his friend and she
deserved someone who wouldn’t be bothering her even while she had to handle her home
life.

James sighed, he didn’t want to move on from Lily. He wanted to kiss her and hold her and
love her, more than anyone had ever loved anyone before.
He walked up the final staircase that led him up to the Gryffindor tower, muttering the
password then went up the steps and rounded a corner before stopping in his tracks.

Lily was leaning on a balcony wearing some comfortable trousers and an oversized jacket
with small buttons. A memory tickled in the back of James’ mind at the sight.

“Evening Evans,” He called out and she turned to see who it was, “You gonna take your coat
off? Stay a while?”

She smiled once she saw him, “Shut up Potter, its comfortable,”

He tossed his bag down casually "You haven’t got any more comfortable clothes?”

She rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out at James.

“What are you doing down here anyways?” James asked, leaning forward onto the balcony.
“You haven’t got your books or anything,”

Lily shook her head, “Just thinking about stuff, summer mostly,”

James hummed softly, “You going home?”

Before Petunia’s wedding had been announced, she’d wanted to spend the summer with
Dorcas, which meant she’d get to spend time with Remus and, hopefully, James. Now that
she wasn’t attending, she might be going there again.

“I don’t want to,” Lily said miserably, “But my parents want me back, they’re still trying to
convince Tuney to invite me, and I should listen to them right?” She looked at James, a
pleading look in her eyes.

James didn’t know the extent of Lily’s homelife, he knew she didn’t have a good relationship
with her sister, he knew her parents weren’t exactly the best at parenting, and he knew she’d
had a cat once that she really liked. Other than that you were better to ask Sirius.

He still wanted to cheer her up though.

James reached over and grabbed her hand tentatively, a question in his eyes. When Lily
nodded, he slid closer to her, and then brought her hand up to his mouth, giving her a soft
kiss.

It was something his parents had done to cheer each other up. They just found whatever bit of
open skin they could and pressed quick pecks there. He didn’t think Lily would like it if he
kissed anywhere else, so he stuck to her hand.

“You don’t want to go back, so don’t. You don’t owe them anything Lily,”

They stared at each other a moment, Lily’s face clouded. He wasn’t sure what she was
thinking but he didn’t want to look away. Her hands were warm against his.
“Thank you James,” She whispered, squeezing James hand and not letting go of it. She
sighed gently, tilting her face to the sky, “We have a star right?”

James blinked, he didn’t think Lily remembered, “Yeah,”

“Which one is it again? You weren't really clear last time,”

James turned his gaze to the sky, seeking out the leo constellation. It was the bottom right star
in that one.

He pointed, “There,”

Lily squinted, “There’s thousands of stars James,”

James frowned, before pulling her hand towards the sky and pointing out different landmarks
in the sky.

“You see that really bright star?” He asked, “Brightest one in the sky?”

“Yeah,”

“That’s Sirius,”

He pointed Lily’s hand up and to the left of Sirius, “You see that one?”

“I think so,”

“That’s our star,”

“Oh” Lily said thoughtfully, bringing her hand back down, but still not letting go of James,
“What’s its name?”

James shrugged, “Not sure, I just know Sirius likes it,”

Lily nodded along absentmindedly, still looking up at the stars. James wondered if she found
them beautiful.

The moon was close to being full, it would happen tomorrow, and ever since becoming
friends with a werewolf, James had developed a distaste for it, but he did like the stars.

“Are you going to Hogsmeade this weekend?” Lily asked suddenly.

James frowned, of course he was, “Yeah? You know me, never miss a trip,”

“You going with someone?”

James shrugged, he hoped she wasn’t trying to set him up. Peter and Sirius had tried it once
and it had been the most uncomfortable situation he’d ever been in, “Just the usual crew I’d
assume, unless you know something I don’t?”
“Well Mary and Peter aren’t going, they want to study. Remus and Sirius probably aren’t
either, they’ve been acting strange,”

They had been, James had just figured it was the moon, but Lily couldn’t know about that.

“So it’ll just be Dorcas, Marlene, you and I. And those two will be off doing their own
coupley thing, so really it’ll just be you and I,”

James blinked, “Dorcas and Marls don’t really do that do they? Not in public at least,”

Lily turned to him, a determined glint in her eyes, “No, but I want to do that,”

“Do what?” James asked. He was confused. He didn’t understand in the slightest what Lily
was saying.

“Coupley things,”

He frowned. Was she trying to tell him she fancied someone and wanted him to shove off?
She could just be upfront about it.

“With who?”

Lily groaned and glared at James, “You’re impossible James Potter,”

“What?!” He really had no clue what was going on, “If you fancy someone just tell me! I’m
not gonna be pissed Evans, I’m not that immature,”

She glared again, “I’m trying to tell you, you just won’t pick up on it,”

“I’m sorry love, I haven’t the foggiest idea what's going on,”

She sighted and ran a hand through her hair frustratedly, “You and I are going to Hogsmeade
together on the weekend. As a date. You and I are going on a date to Hogsmeade this
weekend,”

James’ brain went blank.

Lily stared at him, her face getting redder and redder by the second.

James knew he should say something to reassure her, but honestly, he couldn’t process what
she’d said.

“Sorry?” He said, his voice strangled.

Lily groaned, “Don’t make me say it again Potter,”

He blinked. Then blinked again. He couldn’t stop blinking. Was it normal for someone to
blink so much in such a short period of time? Did Lily think his constant blinking was
strange? Had he been thinking about blinking so much it became the only thing he could do?
 “I want to go on a date,” A beat, “With you,” Another beat, “This weekend,” One more, “If
you want to, of course,”

He should answer. He should say something cocky and arrogant. He should gloat that Lily
had finally succumbed to his charms.

“Do you not want to?” Lily asked, her voice confused and small.

He wanted to. Why would she think he didn’t want to? Probably because he was staring at
her and not saying anything.

“Is that a no?”

Lily Evans had just asked him on a date. Lily Evans, the most brilliant, beautiful, witch in the
world, had just asked him on a date.

“I’ll just go then,” She said. Her eyes were sad, her face was pained and as she turned, James
grabbed her wrist.

“No!” He exclaimed, “Wait, yes I mean. Don’t leave I mean, but yes,”

Lily was blinking now, amusement and hope rising in her features, “Sorry?”

James took a breath, “Yes I want to go on a date with you to Hogsmeade,”

Lily relaxed visibly and smiled up at him, “Brilliant! I’ll see you then! Er- I suppose we’ll see
each other before that, but I’ll you then as well,” She sighed, “Goodnight,”

And she was gone.

And James had a date with Lily Evans.

This weekend.

At Hogsmeade.

He had to tell Sirius.

Chapter End Notes

lots of sweet fluff for this chapter cause its all about to go downhill. Don't get too happy
about this Wolfstar developement, they're still them so we're still in for a wild ride.

Short chapter today sorry!

Thank you so much for reading! I love reading your comments and seeing kudos, its so
lovely and I appreciate it so much
 The Easy Consequences of Time Spent Together
Chapter Summary

Remus heals from the full moon, Sirius is smitten, James and Lily go on... A DATE!!!

Chapter Notes

I use the word "flabbergasted" in this chapter. Thats all

See the end of the chapter for more notes

The candle that was resting on Remus’ bedside table kept flickering and it was bothering
Sirius

Yesterday's moon was a bad one, Sirius wasn’t sure why, Moony had just been aggressive. He
hadn’t let Padfoot get anywhere near him.

He knew Remus needed extra help, but refused to ask for it.

He was stubborn, but tha was one of the things Sirius loved about him.

Sirius smiled softly and reached out to brush a strand of hair away from Remus’ eyes. He
looked adorable when he slept. his eyebrows would crease together and his lips would press
together in a thin line.

“Good morning Mr. Black,” Pomfrey bustled into the room and Sirius quickly drew his hand
away, “You do know he’ll be fine if you aren’t here,”

Sirius grinned at her, “You’ve have to know by now that it takes more than that to get rid of
me,”

Pomfrey pursed her lips and put her hand over Remus’ forehead.

“Is he okay?” Sirius asked.

Pomfrey nodded, “He’ll be fine, don’t let him leave until I see him,”

“Are you going somewhere?”

“Just down to the dungeons, I need to stock up on some things. I’ll be back quickly,”
She left the room quickly, a purposeful bounce to her step, and Sirius turned back to Remus.

He extended his hand slightly to graze his fingers along the back of Remus’ hand. It was
cold.

Sirius looked at the candle, it was still flickering. Maybe the magic was faulty. Usually
candles were enchanted to never go out, but this one would extinguish then relight itself on a
whim.

Remus made a small noise that drew Sirius’ attention to him and his eyes opened blearily.

“Padfoot?” He mumbled, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his palm, “What time is it?”

“11:34,” Sirius responded, “How are you feeling?”

Remus groaned and relaxed into the cushions, yawning loudly, “Fine, a bit sore. Was it bad?”

Sirius shrugged, “You weren’t friendly to us, but we gave you your space and it worked out,”

“Sorry,” He mumbled, propping himself up on his elbows and rolling his head.

He let out a small groan as his head rested as far back as it could go. Doing that popped out
his collarbones and made his neck look long. Sirius felt his mouth dry up.

“S’not your fault,”

Remus let himself fall back down onto the cushions, he must have been tired. He didn’t
usually let himself relax like this. He shivered a bit, his hair falling on his forehead again.

“Are you cold?” Sirius asked, he didn’t know any heating charms, apart from the ones
Pomfrey had already cast.

“I’m fine,” He wrapped his arms around himself in an absent minded gesture.

Sirius shook his head and stood up, heading over to the cabinets where Pomfrey kept extra
supplies. He’d come to know the infirmary well these past years, having spent so much time
with Remus there.

“Where are you going?”

Sirius opened the cabinet door, his eyes scanning the shelves, “Looking for some blankets,”
He called, “I’m not seeing anything,”

“I’m fine Sirius,” Remus insisted, “I’ll be out of here as soon as Pomfrey gets back anyway,”

Sirius pursed his lips but closed the doors and went back over to Remus.

He had sat up now, and made a buffer between him and the walls with one of his pillows. The
blanket shielded his lower body from the cool air, but he was only wearing a tee-shirt and
Sirius could see goosebumps on his arms.
“You missed James panicking about his date with Lily today,” Sirius said, fiddling with the
hairbands on his wrists, “They’re meeting at the three broomsticks with Marlene and Dorcas
for 12,”

“Yeah? Doesn't sound like much of a date if there's four of them,”

“James said they’d split up after getting drinks,”

Remus hummed gently and didn’t look at Sirius; an easy silence floated in the air. Sirius
usually hated the quiet since it made him think of when his mum would hex his mouth shut
and make him stand in silence. But quiet with Remus was nice.

Quiet with Remus was peaceful instead of painful.

“Don’t you want to go to Hogsmeade?” Remus asked, finally turning to meet Sirius’ eyes.

Merlin, he was beautiful.

“Nah, I hate the cold,” He did hate the cold, but he often let his love of Hogsmeade outweigh
that hatred. Not today though, he always stayed with Moony after full moons, even when
Moony had hated him, he would sit outside the hospital wing and wait for him to come out.

This had been the first time since he’d sat with Moony after a full moon on his own since
he’d told Snape about the willow. Every other time, James or Peter had been sure to be there,
or Sirius hadn’t been in the room at all. For a while, Remus had insisted on handling moons
on his own, not even letting Prongs or Wormtail come in the shack with him.

That had changed over the summer. He’d spent it with James’ family, and James had
managed to convince Remus to let him and Wormtail stay with him. Sirius only started
coming again in september.

Pomfrey hurried through the doors, a collection of bottles and vials in her hands, “Ah, you’re
awake Mr. Lupin, good,”

She set them down and came to his side, feeling his forehead one more time, “How are you
feeling? And don’t lie to me, I’ll know,”

Remus smiled up at her, “Fine, bit sore is all,”

She pursed her lips, “You’re lying. You tore that hip of yours right out, I could tell from the
moment I saw you this morning,”

Remus, at least, had the tact to look sheepish, “Really Madame Pomfrey, I’m alright. Rest
helped,”

She shook her head and went back over to her desk, pulling out a small vial of sleeping
draught, and some green thing that made Sirius’ nose scrunch up.

“You’ll be staying here until I say you can go. Take this,” She handed him the green thing.
Remus seemed to recognize it, “And when you’re ready to sleep again, take the sleeping
draught,”

Remus nodded and accepted the drink. He downed it quickly, coughing once it was finished,
“I’ll just take the draught now,”

She nodded and uncorked it, then turned to Sirius, “Since you never leave until he does,
make sure he doesn’t try to do anything ridiculous,”

Sirius nodded, “Are you leaving?”

“I’ll be chaperoning today’s Hogsmeade trip with Professor McGonagall, we should be back
before the draught lessens,” She turned back to Remus who had lay back down under the
covers, “The potions takes about fifteen minutes to start working,”

Remus hummed an agreement, but his eyes were already closed. Pomfrey’s lips quirked up
and she swiftly exited the room, sending one last concerned glance towards Remus.

They didn’t talk much, until Sirius realised Moony was shivering again. He’d meant to ask
Pomfrey about blankets but had forgotten.

Remus breathed out suddenly, squeezing his eyes shut and tugging the blankets closer to his
chest.

“You're cold,” A staement, not a question.

“I’m fine,”

Sirius rolled his eyes, Remus was so stubborn, whenever Sirius was cold, he’d just find
someone to cling onto.

Sirius sat up straight, an idea latched in his mind. When he needed something, Remus would
usually help him.

“Moony,” He said tentatively.

“I said I’m fine Sirius, just leave it,”

“Well,” He paused, “I’m cold,”

“What do you want me to do about it? I’ve been confined to my bed,” He retorted bitterly.

Sirius chewed his lip, they hadn’t talked about it but they didn’t need to. They never talked
about anything, “Let me sleep with you, it’ll be warmer if we’re closer together,”

Remus didn’t answer. He was laying on his back, his eyes squeezed shut.

“Come on Moony,” Sirius whined, “Its cold,”

Remus peeked an eye open, “And that will help?”

Sirius nodded, “Yeah, body heat and all that,”

Remus closed his eyes again, then nodded, moving over so that Sirius could lay down next to
him.

Sirius crawled under the covers awkwardly. Neither moved to pull the other closer. Sirius’
fingers were brushing along Remus’ hip, but it was a barely there touch.

Sirius sighed and rolled onto his side so his back was facing Remus. He’d made the move to
get them in the same bed, Remus could do the rest of it. It was only fair.

They stayed there for a few moments, before Remus’s hand snaked along Sirius’ side and
came to rest on his lower stomach. His hands were very cold and he didn’t move anymore,
Sirius understood he had to be the one to take the next step.

This was how they worked, and how they had worked ever since they’d first spoken to each
other.

Remus had been the one to wave, Sirius had been the one to extend a hand. Remus had been
the one to ask about his mum, Sirius had been the one to ask where he went every month.
Remus had asked Sirius about his scars, Sirius had asked Remus about his scars.

They took everything in turns, always letting the other person take a tentative step before
them.

Sirius adjusted his body so that his back pressed against Remus’ chest. He heard him inhale
sharply and a smirk tickled his features. He liked being able to make sounds like that come
from Remus.

It was Remus’ turn, and he made a rather pitiful move. He tangled his legs with Sirius’ and
pulled in a bit closer.

Sirius let out a soft chuckle, making an even more imperceptible adjustment. All he did was
push his hips a bit back into Remus, but it made him gasp slightly and his grip on Sirius’
waist tightened.

Sirius had his eyes closed now. He did want to get some sleep, and Remus should as well.

“Sirius,” Remus muttered into his hair. His voice was low, and promising, it made Sirius want
to listen.

“Yeah?”

“Face me,”

Sirius obliged, shifting so that he could see Remus’ features.

His hair stuck up in all directions, like James’ always did, his eyes were bright and concerned
at the same time, his lips were damp from where he must have licked them.

He was flushed and clearly unsure of what to do next, but he didn’t need to worry about it
because it was Sirius’ turn now.
Sirius leaned into him, burying his face in Remus’ chest and sliding his hand around so they
came to rest on Remus’ shoulder blades. He slotted his thigh between Remus’ legs and then
paused. That was his move.

Remus kept one hand on his waist but brought the other to tangle in Sirius’ hair which made
him groan slightly when he tugged on it. Sirius always liked having his hair played with.
Once it had gotten long enough, he’d even asked the girls to braid it.

“Sirius,” Remus murmured, sounding like a secret.

“Remus,” Sirius responded. He rarely called Remus by his first name, he liked calling him
Moony instead, but now didn’t feel like the time.

“Someone could come in,”

Sirius felt around in his pocket for his wand and cast a quick charm to pull the curtains
around the bed, and then another to lock them in place, “Only Pomfrey,”

“Sirius,” Remus insisted but there was no real heat to his voice, in fact Sirius was almost sure
he was smiling.

“Moony,”

“We shouldn’t,”

“Maybe but when have we ever done what we should do?” Sirius tilted his head to look
Remus in the eye. He wasn’t that much taller than Sirius, maybe five or so centimetres, but
they weren’t at an even level. Sirius had been resting on Remus’ chest up until now.

Remus gazed down at him and didn’t say anything else. He pulled Sirius’ waist a bit closer to
him and tightened the grip in his hair, then leaned towards him, his mouth pausing a breath
away from Sirius’.

Prick Sirius thought, as he took the next step and closed the gap between them.

JAMES

James had arrived at the three broomsticks a bit earlier than he’d told the girls to come. He’d
wanted to make sure they got a nice place to sit together, it was his and Lily’s first date,
everything had to be perfect.

He’d gotten a corner booth, which he knew Lily liked, he’d asked Madame Rosmerta to
prioritise their table and bribed her with his parents' money. He didn’t think they’d mind,
especially if they knew it was for Lily. He’d even borrowed some of Sirius’ hair products and
used them when he showered this morning. Granted he didn’t know if he used them correctly
and he smelt a bit like a garden, but maybe Lily would like that.
James took a deep breath and stared at the door. The girls would be here soon, since Dorcas
was with them and she was always punctual. He wiped his hand on his trousers.

James was usually the image of confidence. His self-security was something he prided
himself in, but this was his first date with Lily Evans.

Lily Evans, who he’d been in love with forever. Who he’d pursued and magically befriended
thanks to the efforts of his much less smitten friends. She was going on a date with him. Not
only that, but she had been the one to ask him on the date. It was a miracle.

The bell jingled signalling someone's arrival and James spotted Lily’s familiar burst of red
hair, along with Dorcas’ black and Marlene’s blonde. He smiled at them, taking one last deep
breath and signalling them over.

“Afternoon ladies! I do hope you’re pleased with our table, after all, only the best for my
girls”

Marlene scoffed, “Right and you didn’t pick this table out specifically because it's Lily’s
favourite?”

He grinned, “Was it that obvious?”

“Only cause you’re never on time, let alone early,”

“Gah! My punctuality, or lack thereof, foils me again,”

Dorcas took a seat next to James, on his left, “I’m always telling you people, being on time is
important,”

Marlene took the spot next to her, which left room for Lily to sit on James right, “Oh leave it
Cassie,”

James raised his eyebrows, “Since when are we calling Dorcas ‘Cassie’?”

“Since Lily realised Dorcas is the only one of us who doesn’t have a nickname,” Marlene
answered, “You four,” she gestured vaguely towards James and he understood it meant the
Maruauders, “Have your dumb animal nicknames, I’m Marls, Lily is Lils, Mary is Sapling,
though only Joston calls her that, and Dorcas doesn’t have a nickname,”

“Probably because my most likely nickname would be Dorc and that's just not flattering,”
Dorcas reasoned.

“Exactly,” Marlene smiled at her girlfriend, “I want her to get a nickname,”

James shrugged, “You certainly don’t seem like a Cassie though. Maybe just Cas,”

“We’ll think of something,” Marlene waved to one of the servers, “Four butterbeers please,”
She turned back to them, “We’re playing Slytherin again next week right?”
James nodded, “I talked to Joston, we’re having a mock match on Wednesday, then
McGonagall said the real match will be on a Saturday,”

“Good, I hate Sunday matches, and we’ve got to redeem ourselves from last time. Has
George been training on his own?”

George was their seeker. He was a muggleborn in his fourth year and not nearly as good as
Regulus. He hadn’t even held a broom until he was eleven and only really started flying when
he was in his third year.

Their usual seeker graduated last year, leaving James without a good seeker. He’d found
George by luck and had been training him one on one, but he was still leagues behind
Regulus.

“Yeah, I’ve worked with him a couple times, and I’ve asked Frank to help him when he can.
He’s not as good as Regulus, but with luck he could catch the snitch first,”

“Seeker’s such a hard position,” Lily mused, “It must be boring as well, at least until you can
actually see the snitch,”

“I wholeheartedly agree,” James said, “Chaser on the other hand- is much more entertaining,”

Marlene shook her head, “Chaser’s are always arrogant, Beaters and Keepers are the best
ones,”

“A good beater is one in a million,” James countered, “They usually end up getting in the
way instead of actually helping,”

“I think I’d like to try being a seeker,” Dorcas said, “I’d be no good at any other position,”

James grinned, an idea forming in his head, “We should find fourteen friends and hold a
Quidditch match,”

Marlene sat up, her excited expression mirroring James’, “Merlin we should! We’ve got one
team with just our close friends, and Mary can get Joston,”

James started bouncing his leg up and down to try and contain some of his excited energy. He
loved Quidditch, and he loved his friends, combining them seemed like a great idea.

“Will that be fair?” Lily asked, “Someone you guys are on teams, where as people like
Dorcas and I can barely fly,”

“I can fly,” Dorcas protested, “Just not well,”

“We'll split it up,” James offered, “Marlene can be on one team, Sirius can be on the other.
I’ll be a chaser on whatever team Joston isn’t keeping for. We’ll make it even,”

Lily scrunched her nose- merlin, she looked adorable when she did that -and nodded,
“Alright, when is this happening?”
James shrugged, and accepted the drinks that were being handed to him and passed them out
amongst his friends, “Maybe over the holidays? Who’s staying?”

“I am,” Lily said, “Mary is as well,”

“Sirius, Remus, Peter and I are staying. What about you two?”

Marlene and Dorcas shared a glance.

“My mum wants me home for Christmas,” Marlene said, “But I might stay anyways,” She
squeezed Dorcas’ hand quickly before letting go and glancing around the room.

James knew Marlene’s mother. She was a short Filipino woman who was a marvel in
everything she did. She and James’ mum were good friends and had even joined a muggle
book club together.

“I’ll write to her tonight, see if I can maybe just come for Christmas eve and day,”

James could probably write to her. He knew she liked him and thought he was a good
influence on Marlene. James had always been well-liked by parents, the only ones who
hadn’t liked him were Sirius’ parents, and they didn’t like anyone.

“Great!” James clapped his hands together, “We just need to figure out who else is staying
over the holidays and organise it from there,”

“Will the teachers be alright with it?” Dorcas asked.

“Probably not,” James grinned at her, “But when has that ever stopped me?”

She returned his grin, shaking her head, “Never. God, sometimes I wonder how you ever
became friends with Remus,”

James shrugged, “He’s just as bad as the rest of us, he just hides it best,”

The butterbeer was nice, but they didn’t order anything else. Food at the three broomsticks
tended to be cold and tasteless, Rosmerta was a great barkeep but not much of a chef.

Marlene and Dorcas eventually stood us, and waved goodbye to James and Lily, Marlene
winking and making kissy noises as she laughed. James laughed it off, but Lily went bright
red and hid her face in her hands.

James nudged her gently, “Want to head out? I’ve got quite the day for us planned,”

Lily looked up at him, “Of course you do,”

He smirked and stood up, offering her a hand. She accepted it and James led her outside,
leaving a few galleons on the table.

He wished they could have come when it was snowing, Hogsmeade was so pretty like that,
but he didn’t mind. He was with someone much prettier.
He’d been worried it might have been strange between them, that they would have been
nervous or awkward, but Lily was just as easy to talk to as she always was.

She was a bit quiet in the beginning, but James coaxed her out of her shell when they got to
Honeydukes and bought sweets together to share. After Honeydukes, they visited Dominic
Maestro's Music Shop, where James found some violin sheet music he could play for
Pandora and Lily found some muggle records she promised to play for James.

After the music shop, they popped into Zonko’s mostly for James’ sake. He was low on some
basic needs for pranks and promised Sirius’ he’d stock up on them.

Once they finished in Zonko's, James led Lily to the finale of their date. Madam Puddifoot's
Tea Shop.

It was a common date location for couples, and not James’ most creative idea, but he knew
the place and Madam Puddifoot liked him because he’d helped her move some crates of tea
leaves once.

“How have you managed it?” Lily asked him once they were seated by a window that gave
them a view of Hogwarts and the great lake. He’d pulled out her chair for her, like a
gentleman would, and was now taking her coat.

“Managed what?” James asked, draping her coat over one of the hooks nearby and taking off
his own. The coat looked familiar, it was the one she’d been wearing at the astronomy tower
a few nights ago, James was sure.

“This,” She gestured vaguely around them, “The perfect first date,”

James grinned, “Perfect?”

She nodded, “Perfect.”

He sat down, the legs of his chair scratching against the wooden floor, “What can I say I’m
just a charming guy?”

Lily laughed and leaned forward resting her chin on the palm of her hand, “Something like
that yeah,”

James leaned forward as well, “Honestly Evans, I’ve been planning this date for about three
years now, how could it not be perfect?”

She groaned and hid her face in her hands, “God of course,” She peeked out at him from in
between her finger, merlin she was adorable, “You’ve had significantly more time to prep
than me,”

James laughed, “That’s your own fault,”

A waiter came by to give them some menus and James thanked him, “What are you getting?”

Lily shrugged, “I’ve only been here once, with Mary, and she ordered everything for me,”
James scanned the menu quickly, “Better than me, I’ve only come in with Moony once, he
loves tea,”

“Maybe Earl Grey? That’s always a safe option right?”

James nodded, “My mum always gets double cream Earl Grey, she says it helps her sleep,”
He traced his finger along the pages, when the corner of his mouth quirked up, “You should
get this one,”

“Which one?”

“Greek Teas column, fourth from the top,”

Lily’s eyes scanned her menu and she blushed when she read the one James had
recommended, “Grey Eyed Goddess? My eyes are green James,”

James grinned at her, “I know that, of course I know that, but you’re modelling as the grey
eyed goddess aren’t you? Athena?”

Her blush deepened, “I suppose. What’s in it?”

James read the description outloud, “A Grecian inspired tea that uses natural olive scents and
taste like a calculated battlefield,” He raised his eyebrows, “Sounds bloody,”

“I think I’ll get the Ashy French blend,” She looked up at him and James swore his heart
stopped.

Her cheeks were still flushed, half from the cold, half from embarrassment. Her hair was
tousled and mussed from the wind outside. Her eyes- merlin her eyes .

They shone in the sunlight, green becoming blue, grey, brown. Becoming meadows and
marshes, skies and seas, willows and winds.

He was so very in love with Lily Evans it wasn’t even funny.

“James? Are you going to order?”

He snapped out his stupor, realising that the waiter was there, notepad in hand. James smiled
at him, “Yeah. I’ll have the Ivory Lily please,”

Lily frowned and ordered her own. Once the server left, she flicked him lightly on the hand,
“I knew you’d pull something like that,”

James grinned, “You know me so well Evans, marry me,”

She blushed fiercely and her glare deepened, “Slow down Potter, it's been one date,”

“One perfect date and six years of pining,”

Their drinks arrived quickly, and James took a sip of his. It had an earthy, sweet taste that
warmed his chest. It reminded him a bit of home, which in turn reminded him to write to his
mum.

“How exactly did that painting thing happen? With Regulus I mean,”

Lily glanced up at him, she was blowing gently on her tea to cool it down.

“He was using a portrait on the fourth floor but then it mysteriously disappeared,” She raised
her eyebrows at him and James looked away sheepishly, “We were doing rounds together one
evening and he asked if I could, I figured it wasn’t a big deal,”

“Sirius never said anything about him being a painter,”

Lily shrugged, “Sirius never talks nicely about Regulus,” She took a sip of her tea, deeming it
cool enough to drink, “He’s actually nice, I’m sure you know. How is he when he’s tutoring
you?”

James thought back to his lessons with Regulus. The startling staring contests, the sharp
slights, the crooked grins. He thought back to that moment before Halloween, when he’d held
Regulus’ hands and become fixated on his scar. He hadn’t forgotten about it. He still wanted
to see where it stopped.

“Not bad,” James responded, “Bit mean sometimes, but better than Snivel- er, Snape,”

Lily looked away from him and he cursed himself inwardly. Everything had been going well,
but he’d just had to bring up that greaseball.

“I think the modelling is really cool though,” James tried, smoothing the tension that had
mounted, “It suits you,”

Lily looked back at him, she didn’t seem upset, which felt like a good thing, “Yeah? It's
easier than I expected,” She gazed out the window, “Regulus really is a lovely artist. Pandora
says I should be most excited for when he colours it though,”

“You don’t mind me being there do you?” James asked, “Pandora asked me to keep playing
for her while she worked,”

Lily shook her head, “Not at all,” She flushed, “It’s nice,”

James fought back a smile and leaned towards Lily, “Yeah?”

Her skin went even more red, “Only because you play well, not for any other reason,”

James laughed, “I’ll believe that for your sake. How’s your tea?”

“Pretty good,” She took a sip, “It tastes expensive,”

“Well you don’t need to worry about that, I’m paying,”

Lily frowned, “I asked you, shouldn’t I be the one who pays?”

James stared at her, flabbergasted, “Absolutely not. I am a gentleman! My mother would

never let me hear the end of it if I didn’t pay at least on the first date,”

Lily frowned, but took another sip of her tea and conversation resumed its easy wave.

James appreciated how easy everything was with Lily. Truth be told, he’d been in an odd spot
lately.

The ivory scent in his Amortentia kept bugging him, he felt like he should know who it was
referencing but couldn’t put his finger on it.

And then there was the issue of Regulus.

He’d realised, in the past few days, that he kept having strange, and memorable, encounters
with him.

First, when Regulus had caught the snitch and ended up on top of James. It was normal for
there to be falls like that in Quidditch, collisions were common. But afterwards, when
Regulus had laughed, and rested his head on James’ chest and the feeling of Regulus’ hips
under his fingers, it had inspired some less than pure thoughts to say the least.

The second occurrence happened that evening, when Regulus had pulled him down by the tie
to kiss him and the image of him afterwards, flushed and messy, had been burned into James’
eyelids. The kiss shouldn’t have been special. James had kissed plenty of people before, boys
and girls alike. But it was because Regulus kissed like he was handing over his whole self.
He kissed like he belonged to you,

The third moment was when they’d made a draught of living death together and it had
exploded. That was when he’d noticed Regulus’ scars for the first time and they’d wormed
their way into every one of his thoughts.

He thought of Quidditch. He saw Regulus and his scarred collarbone, riding next to him. He
thought of class and Regulus was sitting next to him, white marks visible to the world. It was
very tedious.

The fourth and final thing, wasn’t a moment, it was more of an amalgamation of instances
that had created a monster of fixation.

Regulus had two features that stood out to James and refused to leave him alone. His eyes
and his hands. His enticing eyes that changed colour everytime James looked at them, his
delicate hands that James could see so clearly dancing across the keys of a piano.

There were other things that passed through James' mind about Regulus, his sarcastic jilts, his
piercing glare, his daunting gait, his revering gaze, but nothing was as bad as James’
obsession with his hands and eyes.

That, along with a myriad of other reasons, was why he’d been so grateful to Lily for
allowing him to take her out. He never thought of anything but Lily when he was with her.
 They went back to the castle together, and James led her up to the common. He walked her as
far as he could, until she reached the steps that wouldn’t allow him up.

James smiled at her, “Nice date?”

Lily returned the smile, “Perfect date,”

Chapter End Notes

Remember when I said that you shouldn't be happy about the wolfstar developement
because they're still them and you're in for a wild ride? yeah ignore that, I don't have the
heart to make Remus sad

I hope the tea talk was relatively accurate. All of what I know is because my sister
works at a tea shop and always brings home stuff. The tea shop is more Chinese tea than
English tea though.

I switched the title of the fic, mostly because it was long and didn't actually have much
to do with the content, I hope you all don't mind.

Thank you so much for reading!! I appreciate the comments and kudos so much, they're
lovely to read and see!!
 The Plot-Propelling Consequences of Avoidence
Chapter Summary

Regulus begins to tackle his emotions

Chapter Notes

Regulus sorta tarts to panic in this chapter, take care of yourself and skip over it if need
be.
It starts at, "The violin didn’t come in until later in the piece, so Regulus began"
and then Regulus calms down around, "A voice, a familiar voice, not a frightening
familiar, but a kind familiar."

See the end of the chapter for more notes

REGULUS

Avoidance.

Avoidance would work.

If Regulus just stayed far away from everyone who was plaguing his thoughts, he would be
fine.

He’d done it before with Sirius so he could do it again with James and Lily.

Except, he couldn’t avoid them, and for some ridiculous reason, he couldn’t just lock away
the part of his brain that couldn’t stop thinking about James and Lily. It was rather typical,
that Regulus would end up not only being queer, but queer and in love with a muggleborn
and a blood traitor.

Because nothing in his life seemed to go right.

He couldn’t avoid Potter, and he couldn’t avoid Evans. So he’d limit them. Like an addict
weaning off of drugs. He’d slowly stop his sessions with Lily, he’d do rounds with Remus
more and more frequently, he’d start to work on getting Severus back as a tutor.

It would take time, but he would make it work, he had to.

The other aspects of his life were just as chaotic.

Joston and Barty still weren’t speaking to each other and they’d started using Regulus as a
way of tossing insults at each other without having to actually interact. He’d become a sort of
owl.

Joston also hadn’t let go of his slip up with her a few nights ago. Whenever she got a chance,
and wasn’t too angry with Barty, she’d ask him about what he meant. He kept shoving it
aside but he could tell she was getting worried and he hated it when people were worried
about him.

Evan and Elizabeth weren’t being much of a help either. Turns out, the night when Regulus
had stayed with Evans and Potter (he’d taken to calling them only by their last names as a
way of distancing himself from them) they’d hooked up. Now they were a dysfunctional,
annoying, cruel couple who rather enjoyed the conflict between Barty and Joston.

When they weren’t snogging or feeling each other up, they were egging Barty on or telling
Joston she should get angrier.

Elizabeth and Barty weren’t the only ones who’d become smitten with someone. It seemed
that, as Christmas approached, love hung in the air like the remnants of a deadly disease.

Pandora had started to spend much more time with Xenophilius and she was clearly falling
for him. Regulus wasn’t the most adept at understanding the emotions of the people around
him, but even he could see it. She was in love, or at least on her way there.

Even Kinsy wasn’t available for Regulus to talk to. She was either engrossed in the books
Regulus had gotten her for Christmas or cooking. She didn’t have time for Regulus and he
couldn’t blame her for it.

Regulus really needed to get more friends. Then again, he had the same number of friends as
Sirius and he never seemed to get lonely like Regulus did.

Maybe they were just built differently. Sirius was created to be a magnet to affection. Every
room he entered, eyes latched onto him. Every person he spoke to, left with strong emotions
towards him. Sometimes love, sometimes hate, but always strong.

Regulus wasn’t like that. He got along well with people, but he was forgettable. He was sure
that when he got out of school, the people he hung out with wouldn’t even recognize his
name. Especially ones like Pandora and Joston, who wouldn’t be frequenting the same social
circles as him.

Sirius was another thing he had to deal with.

He wasn’t overt about it, but he was paying attention to Regulus. More than he had in years.

When Regulus was eating he could feel Sirius’ gaze on the back of his head. When he was in
class, Sirius was there, breathing over his shoulder. Not literally, but he was there. Ever-
present and tangible.

Regulus tried to ignore him, he really did, but it was hard and he kind of liked it.
He liked knowing that Sirius was worrying about him, tha he saw him and cared. That he still
remembered Regulus’ quirks and habits. It was a sort of sick comfort.

Sick because he knew it wouldn’t change anything. Sirius loved Potter more than him. Sirius
loved the image he had in his head of Regulus, but he didn’t really care. He was mourning his
childhood, he didn’t actually think about what was left of it.

Comforting because his big brother was thinking of him. The big brother who would cover
Regulus’ ears when his mother was screaming. Who would take every curse just so Regulus
didn’t have to. Who would beam at the sight of him. He was thinking of him, he was worried,
he hadn’t abandoned Regulus, there was still a chance.

Regulus squeezed his eyes shut. He couldn’t be thinking like that.

He didn’t have a brother.

“Black? Are you okay?”

Joston was looking at him. The team was reviewing Quidditch strategies together for the
mock match this wednesday against Gryffindor. Regulus was anxious about it.

He’d be playing against Potter and Sirius and with Joston and Barty. He liked Quidditch and
used it as an escape from whatever shit was going on in his life. When Sirius had left, he’d
grabbed his broom. However, it wasn’t easy to fly away from your problems when they were
hitting Bludgers at you.

“Fine,” Regulus responded, “Keep talking,”

She nodded and pointed to the board in front of them, “Key part of this is inhibiting their
chasers, specifically Potter. But don’t forget about the others. Last time they got up by forty
and Potter only scored two of those points,”

“Does it really matter?” Mulciber sneared, “Black’s just gonna catch the snitch anyways.
There’s no chance they get up by more than 150,”

Joston glared at him, “Doesn’t mean you can slack off Mulciber,” She turned the glare of the
whole team, “If I see any of you relying too heavily on Regulus’ skills, you’re off the team
for two months. I’m not having a bunch of lightweights on my roster,”

There was a chorus of “yes ma’am’s” and she nodded, clapping her hands together and
plastering a smile over her face.

“Good, you’re all free to go,” She paused, “Except you Regulus, I need a word,”

He sighed but bit his lip and nodded. He had rounds with Remus tonight and wasn’t looking
forward to them. It was better than with Evans, but still, he never should have become a
prefect in the first place.

“Is something wrong?” Regulus asked, shouldering his bookbag.

“Not with me,” Joston said, steeling her gaze, “Is something wrong with you?”

Regulus shook his head, “I’m fine,”

“You sure?” She pressed, “Because you didn’t seem alright that night by the fire,”

Regulus rolled his eyes, aiming for disinterest, “This again? Come on Daisy, I was just tired,”

She narrowed her gaze, her brown eyes darkening, “You don’t act like that. You don’t raise
your voice, or talk shit about your life. I don’t know why because from what I’ve heard
you’ve got plenty to shit on, but you don’t. So when you do, I know somethings wrong,”

“I’m just stressed,” He insisted, doing what his mother had ingrained in him from a young
age.

Deny, deny, deny.

Avoid and deny, that was what Regulus had been bred to do.

“About what?”

Deny.

“Nothing! It’s not a big deal,”

“It clearly is, Regulus,”

Avoid.

“I don’t want to talk about it, ”

“Stop being difficult and tell me what's wrong”

Lie.

“I’m stressed about exams that's all,”

“You’re in advanced classes Regulus. And you do your friends homework for fun,”

Hurt.

“Why do you think you can care about me because you need me to win your matches?” His
eyes were burning from the effort to stay calm, “I won’t fuck up your perfect record I
promise,”

He took a step forward. Deny, avoid, lie, hurt.

“Nothing is wrong with me. Stop asking about it. It’s nothing that can’t be fixed in a day, and
by someone who actually cares about me instead of their career as a benched keeper for some
washed up team no one cares about,”
Joston’s gaze didn’t move, but Regulus’ did.

His lower lip was trembling with the effort to keep himself together and he was angry.

Why wouldn’t anyone listen to him when he said he didn’t want to talk about something? It
felt like it kept happening to him. People forced conversations on him that he didn’t want, nor
need to have. He was tired of feeling things, and of talking about those feelings. He just
wanted to leave.

He turned on his heel, slamming the door as he left.

He needed to calm down.

Regulus stalked through the halls making his way to the Come and Go room. He wanted to
be alone and he knew Pandora was studying with Xenophilius. He quickly sent her a note,
asking her to take over his rounds tonight. He didn’t want to have to deal with Remus today.

The door to the Come and Go room morphed into something familiar. He’d seen it before, it
was made of dark wood and had an ornate handle. He twisted the knob and the circular room
with the grande piano in it was revealed.

Except he wasn’t alone and there was soft violin music wafting from one of the corners of the
room. The piano was playing itself and James stood in the corner, his eyes closed and his
violin in hand.

Regulus didn’t recognize the piece he was playing, but he found that his anger was
dissipating rather quickly.

James played like he flew. Graceful, elegant, confident, beautiful.

His bow sung across the strings and his face screwed in concentration. Regulus set his bag
down quietly and sat on the chair at the piano. James hadn’t noticed he’d come in yet, and
Regulus liked it like that. He closed his eyes and tilted his head back.

It was a bad idea. To stay in the room alone with James, who he was trying to avoid and was
causing him so much stress and worry.

But he just played so beautifully.

Through James’ playing, Regulus felt a half peace inside him. He wasn’t okay, he wasn’t
alright, but the song was so beautiful that he couldn’t bring himself to care about anything but
it.

He could create life with his playing. Everytime his bow dragged across the strings, he
birthed sounds so sweet to Regulus’ ears. Every note was the cry of a newborn, or the laugh
of a new father.

When he played, James was the world, in all its wonders and horrors.

Regulus opened his eyes gently and looked at James.

James’ eyes were open and looking at Regulus, but he was still playing. He was also staring
pointedly at the piano.

Regulus turned to the sheet music in front of him. It was one of Beethoven’s, called
“Moonlight Sonata,”. He’d played it before, and it didn’t look too hard to sight read, so he
placed his hands on the keys and found where James was.

Regulus loved playing the piano. It made him feel good. Good like the feeling that arrives
after you pay for a stranger's meal or return a wallet to its owner. Good like he was doing
something worthwhile in his life. At least until the bad memories sunk under his skin.

But playing the piano with James accompanying him felt immortalising

The loops in the song felt immortalising.

The repetition of the chords meshed with the drawn out cries of the violin felt immortalising.

James felt immortalising.

When Regulus pressed down on the last note, and James lifted his bow from the strings, he
found he wanted to keep playing. He wanted this, until it poisoned him.

“I thought you didn’t play anymore,”

Regulus took a breath. His hands were still poised over the notes, itching to start again,
begging him to allow them to move and dance and play.

“I don’t,”

There was movement behind him, “You’re very good for someone who doesn’t play
anymore,”

Regulus took another breath. The adrenaline of the music was dying down and his hands
were beginning to ache where he picked at them, “I’m a quick learner,”

James laughed and walked over to the bench. He flipped a few pages around and found a new
piece of music. Regulus didn’t recognize it and there was no composer credited. It was
simply titled, “Untitled,”.

“Can you sight read this? It's a lovely piece if you’re willing to play it with me,”

Regulus’ hands wanted to shake, but he was pressing them down, soundlessly, “I can sight
read,”

“Good,”

James stepped back and Regulus heard him raise his violin and bow. He placed his hands
over the keys and checked the key signature of the piece. E flat minor, a harder one.

The violin didn’t come in until later in the piece, so Regulus began.
It was harder without James accompanying him. The notes became screams instead of songs.
His hands were shaking, but he didn’t miss any notes. He couldn’t.

The scabs on his hands itched, wanting to be picked at, but he suppressed the urge. He had to
play, if he could get through the begining, then he would get to play with James again.

He was finding it difficult to breathe, and he could feel his face begin to dampen, but he had
to keep playing. He had to hear them together again.

A slight shift behind him was all the warning Regulus got for the bliss that came with James’
music.

He had reached a crescendo in the piece and tension was building until it dropped and the soft
lulls of the violin rocked Regulus to his core.

He let out an audible sigh of relief when he heard James.

Regulus was still crying and he was sure it was audible, and he could barely breathe, but he
was hitting all the right notes and they sounded like everything.

Screams, cracks, voices, cries, laughs, songs. Burns, bruises, beatings. Hugs, kisses, taps.

The piece was finished and James had his hand on his back. He was saying something but
Regulus couldn’t hear him. His ears were ringing and he couldn’t breathe.

Pandora told him to focus on his breath when he couldn’t breathe but he couldn't do that
either.

He was shaking, why was he shaking so much? Was he crying? Was James standing there?
Was he sitting down? Why couldn’t he see? Who was touching him? Why weren’t they
anymore? Please could they come back?

A voice, a familiar voice, not a frightening familiar, but a kind familiar.

“Sunshine? Love? Can you hear me?”

Regulus nodded, it was James. He would be alright, it was James.

“Brilliant, don’t try to talk, yeah?” He grabbed Regulus’ hand and brought it up to his chest,
“You can feel my breathing right?”

Regulus nodded. He could feel James’ heartbeat as well, steady and grounding. He began to
tap his finger to the beat.

“That's good, means I’m alive,” He joked, then his voice got serious again, “Can you try to
time your breath with mine? Can you do that sunshine? It’s okay if you can’t,”

Regulus tried. It seemed to work, his senses slowly began to return to him.

“James?” He croaked out, “Is that you?”

He shouldn’t be letting him see this. This was weak, and James wasn’t allowed to see him
while he was weak. It tainted the whole family's image.

“Yeah that’s me,” He said softly, “And you’re Regulus,”

Regulus smiled and leaned forward, resting his forehead on James’, “Always will be,” He
murmured.

James returned the smile and cupped Regulus’ cheek. WIth his other hand, he grabbed a few
of Regulus’ fingers and began to examine them. He made a small tsking noise and Regulus
frowned. When he looked down at his hands, he saw the left one was a bit bruised.

“You were holding on so tightly here,” James muttered, tracing the bruise gently, “Got
yourself all marked up, let me take you to Pomfrey,”

“It's just a bruise,” Regulus said weakly. Pomfrey might ask questions and James might
answer them.

“Then let me take you to the Gryffindor common room, I can ask Moony or Lils to help
you,”

He shook his head, “Someone will see,”

He couldn't face Sirius right now, he’d break down in his arms and beg him to save him.

James bit his lip and glanced at his bag. He turned back to Regulus, “How good are you at
keeping secrets?”

Of all the things Regulus expected James to have, an invisibility cloak was probably
somewhere in the middle. It made sense, and connected some dots in Regulus’ mind, but it
just wasn’t what he thought he’d be under on a tuesday night.

James led them up the steps to the tower and muttered the password, he was holding Regulus
by the wrist. He didn’t need to, but Regulus found that it helped him calm down.

There were a few people in the common room, notably Lily and Mary MacDonald, a friend
of Joston’s. He didn’t see Sirius which worried him a bit, but James led him up to their room
anyway.

They were alone when they arrived and James threw off the cloak, tossing it in a corner.

Their room was a mess with clothes strewn all around. None of their beds were made and had
random assortments of objects cluttering them. Regulus hated clutter, he always made sure
that his dorm was clean.

“Take a seat here,” James said, directing him to the edge of one of the beds. It had Quidditch
paraphernalia on the walls surrounding it, so Regulus assumed it was James’.

“Thank you,” He murmured and sat down on the edge of the bed. James settled next to him,
and took his hand, examining the bruises.
“How in the world did you manage this?” He muttered, furrowing his brow and tracing the
sides of Regulus’ hand, “And your nails! Merlin, sunshine, are you alright?”

Regulus swallowed, he didn’t have the energy to have another argument, “Please don’t ask
me about it,”

James looked concerned but nodded, Regulus appreciated that. He liked it when people didn’t
push him, and it felt like that was all people were doing recently.

“I’m gonna go grab Lily okay? She knows a bit about healing and should be able to help
you,”

Regulus should say no. Being alone with Lily and James, who he was supposed to be calling
Evans and Potter, didn’t seem like a good idea. He was meant to be ignoring them.

“That's fine,”

James nodded and stood up, squeezing Regulus hand lightly before leaving.

As soon as he closed the door, Regulus felt a chill rush over him.

He’d gone to the Come and Go room to be alone but now that he finally was. He just wanted
James to come back. Being alone was empty.

Regulus leaned back onto the bed. He had to pull a wand and some sweets wrappers out from
under him, but other than that he had a comfortable bed. He had the same cotton sheets as
Regulus, but they felt less rough and scratchy than Regulus’.

He had pictures on the canopy of his bed, a few of his friends, a couple of an older couple
that Regulus assumed were his parents, one or two of the outdoors. A polaroid stuck out to
Regulus immediately.

Regulus sat up to get a better look at it and pulled it off the bed. It was a picture of Remus,
with a deer on his left, a dog on his right, and a rat on his shoulder. He was smiling brighter
than Regulus had ever seen him smile.

Regulus wondered how he managed to get a deer in the picture with him, and why James had
it in his room instead of Remus’. Maybe it was a werewolf thing.

He’d figured out Remus was a werewolf in his third year. He spent so much time observing
Sirius that he began to notice things about his friends as well. Peter was the quietest in their
group, James was a vegetarian, and Remus was sick, once every month, around the full
moon.

It wasn’t hard to put two and two together after he noticed that.

Regulus put the picture back where he found it and took note of a few others.

The same dog was in a few other pictures, one with James and his parents, one with Mary
and Peter, and one with Remus, James and Peter. There weren’t any more with the deer but
the rat was there every once in a while.

He noticed that James wasn’t in a lot of the photos, despite him being the one who had them
up on his canopy.

The door opened and James and Lily came in. Lily looked worried but her gaze softened
when she saw Regulus.

A wave of relief rushed through him, which he squashed quickly. He couldn’t get used to
them.

James sat down next to him, with Lily on the other side.

“You’re still okay aren’t you sunshine?”

Regulus nodded, “I’m fine,”

Lily took his hand gently, “James says your hand got screwed up?”

“It's just a bruise,”

She winced when she saw it and gingerly tapped the marks on his hand, “And the scabs
around your nails?”

“They’re nothing,”

Lily pursed her lips but continued examining his hands. After a few moments, she looked up
at James.

“I left my bag down in the common room and I carry some balm for bruises and scabbing in
there just in case. Could you go grab it?”

James nodded and gave Regulus a reassuring smile and kissed Lily quickly on the cheek. He
closed the door quietly and left Lily alone with Regulus.

“Can you tell me how you got the bruise?”

Regulus was startled, “Didn’t James tell you?”

She shook her head, “No, he just told me you got hurt somehow. I’ve noticed the marks
around your nails before though,”

Regulus looked down where Lily was holding his hand. He was grateful James hadn’t said
anything, but hadn’t expected him to think of it.

“You want to tell me about it?”

Regulus shook his head, “You want to tell me why James kissed your cheek?”

She blushed and Regulus managed to quell the hurt that rose up in his chest.
He knew the feelings he held for both James and Lily weren’t going to go anywhere, and in
the back of his head, he knew they would mostly end up together. They just fit so perfectly.
He hadn’t anticipated it to pain him as much as it did.

Maybe it was because he was already sensitive from before, but just the feeling of Lily’s
hand on his after watching her act so naturally with James, threw him off his rhythm.

“It’s nothing,” She said sheepishly, “We just went on a date,”

Regulus raised his eyebrow, “That doesn’t sound like nothing,”

Lily began to busy herself with Regulus’ fingers, “It was just Hogsmeade, I know you said
that wasn’t much, but the moment was just right,”

Regulus forced a smile, “It sounds nice, you should have told me,”

She glanced up at him, returning his smile. Hers seemed much more genuine.

“In my defence, we haven’t had the opportunity to talk,” She closed his hand into a fist,
“Have you not been painting much?”

Regulus should tell her that he didn’t need her anymore. He’d found a different model and
she had a freer schedule than Lily. Now that Lily was dating James, she didn’t need him
either. They should just end this. It would benefit Regulus and help him get her out of his
head.

Avoid.

“I haven’t been. Not much inspiration,”

“Well just ask when you want me,” She smiled at him, “I like helping you, makes me feel
professional,”

Regulus' gaze softened, he wasn’t going to tell her he didn’t need her anymore.. He didn't
know if Lily liked working with him, he knew being observed like that was hard and could be
uncomfortable, but Regulus was selfish.

He couldn’t have had a more perfect person to model for him. The way she stood, moved,
knelt, smiled, it embodied everything he needed it to.

“Thank you,” He replied, “you’ve been very helpful,”

James came back into the room, Lily’s bag in hand, “Wasn’t sure where I would find it so i
just brought the whole bag,”

“Thank you James,” She rummaged through her bag and pulled out a small bottle, about the
size of Regulus’ palm. She uncorked it, and some thick black liquid oozed out. She rubbed it
on Regulus’ bruises, then on the marks around his nails.
 “Apply this every morning, it should clear up in a day or two,” She recorked the bottle and
handed it to Regulus, “Try not to bite your nails as much, I’m assuming that's where the
marks around your nails are from,”

Regulus pocketed the vial and muttered a thank you, he moved to stand up but James caught
his wrist.

“Why don’t you stay a minute? I have a potions essay I need some help with,”

Regulus chewed his lip, he should say no, “Sirius will be upset,”

“He’s with Moony, won’t be back until later,”

He should say no. He should avoid them.

“I can stay then,”

He was a very weak individual.

Chapter End Notes

I've been kinda sick for the past few days or so, which means I've had lots of time to
write!
Hopefully my fever muddled brain still managed to make something interesting.

Thank you so much for reading! Don't expect updates to be regular again, I'm still very
bad at time management.
I feel like I always say this, but I love reading comments, they're so lovely to see and
just amzing so thank you so much for leaving them!
 The Sleepy Consequences of Studying
Chapter Summary

Lily, James, and Regulus study, Remus and Sirius bicker, and then Regulus flees

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

LILY

When Regulus was focused he tapped his nose.

Not in an obvious way, he would just bring his hand up to his chin and lightly bounce his
index finger, again and again, on his nose.

It was very adorable in Lily’s opinion.

Regulus had told James to read and take notes on a section of his potions textbook, which
James had been doing dutifully for about an hour now. Regulus was working on a
transfiguration essay and while Lily didn’t have any classwork to finish, she did want to
catch up on some potions extra-credit she’d signed up for.

James had decided to work splayed out on the floor, he had a cushion under his elbows to
keep them from bruising but foun it easier to focus when he wasn't on his bed.

Regulus was at James’ desk, but he was sitting oddly. One of his knees was tucked into his
chest, but the other was propped up on the desk with his foot hanging off the edge. Lily didn’t
think he even knew that he was sitting like that, it seemed very natural.

Lily had taken the bed, but honestly she wasn’t doing much work.

Regulus and James’ dynamic was fascinating to watch.

She’d thought they might argue and she had been right, but there wasn’t any subtextual anger
under their words.

When James teased Regulus and he responded with some meaningless jab, it felt like casual
banter between lifelong friends. Something she saw with Remus and Sirius often.

She liked watching them, and not just because they were both easy on the eyes. In fact that
had nothing to do with it.
From his place on the floor, James snapped his book shut, “I’m done with my notes sunshine!
What’s next?”

“Nothing,” Regulus replied, looking up from his essay, “I was planning to brew a memory
potion after you finished that but we can’t do it here,”

James sat up and stretched his arms out with a yawn, “Brilliant, I’m all done my work then.
How’s your essay coming along?”

“Fine,”

James and Lily shared a look. Neither of them knew Regulus that well honestly. Lily had
only really been talking with him for a few weeks, but his tone was clipped and frustrated. He
didn't seem like the type to get frustrated easily.

“Really?” James asked, pushing up from the floor and walking over to Regulus. He draped
himself across his shoulders, which surprisingly, didn’t bother Lily. She supposed it was
because she was used to James being affectionate with people.

“Yes. Get off me,”

James had his chin resting on one of Regulus’ shoulders, “Can I read it?”

“No,”

“Please?”

“Why do you think saying please would help at all?”

James grinned, “Because it’s polite! Mum always said it was the magic word,”

Lily smiled, she really wanted to meet Euphemia Potter. James talked about her so often, it
felt like she was present whenever he was.

“It’s not,” Regulus responded flatly, “And now that you're finished, I’ll just go back to my
dorm,”

He gathered his books and stood up, shoving James off him as he did so.

Lily stood up and caught him by the wrist just before he left, “Why don’t we help you with
your essay? James is brilliant at Transfiguration, he’s even ahead of Remus,”

Regulus stared doubtfully at James, who was balancing a quill on his upper lip, then raised an
eyebrow at Lily. She smiled sheepishly, “Promise, he’s smarter than he looks,”

Regulus lifted his hand to his mouth and began to bite on his nails, it made Lily wince and
she took his hand in hers.

“Try not to, at least until those scabs have healed,”

Regulus nodded and brought his hand back down to his side, but Lily didn’t let go, instead
she dragged him back over to the desk, where James had pulled up another two chairs for
Lily and himself.

“Really, I should be getting back,” He protested.

“It's fine!” James insisted, he tugged on the hand that Lily wasn’t holding, “Your friends
aren’t taking the class, they won’t be able to help you. I, however, am. I also received
Outstanding on my O.W.Ls and I’m Minnie’s favourite student,”

“Minnie?” Regulus asked.

“It's what he calls Professor McGonagall,” Lily supplied, “And you’re not her favourite
student,”

“I most certainly am, she always takes me when I’ve got detention,”

Regulus laughed. He had a nice laugh, Lily wasn’t sure she’d heard it before, but she wanted
to hear it again. She could fall in love with a laugh like that very easily. His eyes would
crinkle in the corners and his cheeks would flush.

She’d seen him smile, smirk, chuckled, even giggle once-- though he’d gone red and
threatened Lily with dismemberment if she ever told anyone she heard it-- but she’d never
heard him outright laugh.

It seemed fitting that James-- someone filled with so much love and joy-- would be the one to
coax it out of him.

“Come on sunshine! Take a seat, relax” He pushed Regulus into the chair and even made a
show of massaging his shoulders, “stay a while,” he purred flirtatiously.

Lily should really be upset now, but she just found it endearing.

Regulus swatted his hands away, shrugging his shoulders so that James let go, but he stayed
seated and put his books back on the table.

“What’s troubling you?” Lily asked, scanning his paper quickly.

“The importance of the steps of the Animagus process,”

James frowned, “But we aren’t studying Animagi,”

“I asked Professor McGonagall for extra-work,”

“Don’t you have O.W.Ls coming up?” Lily asked. It seemed ridiculous to be taking on extra
work while in an advanced class, and during his exam year.

Regulus blinked at her, “What does that have anything to do with it?”
He seemed genuinely confused and Lily shook her head, surprised. Sirius had been good in
school as well, at least until he’d decided to stop studying, maybe it was a family trait to
work yourself to the bone.

“Why are you wanting to study Animagi?” James asked, he seemed tense.

“I’m considering becoming one,” Regulus answered casually, his quill scratching
rhythmically on the paper.

Lily had never thought much about Animagi. She knew they were rare, and Professor
McGonagall was one, but they’d never interested her. She was perfectly content in her own
body. She wasn’t all that interested in Transfiguration to be entirely honest, she much
preferred the simplicity of potions.

“Really?” James asked. His voice had jumped up an octave and Regulus glanced at him,
frowning, and James hastened to scramble together an explanation, “I’ve just heard it's very
difficult is all, dangerous too,”

“I’ve been working with Professor McGonagall for about a year now. She says I’m on track
to becoming one by my sixth year,”

“Really?” James exclaimed, his voice was still suspiciously high, “Isn’t that a little early?”

Regulus shook his head and turned back to his essay, “She did it when she was seventeen,
other schools encourage it for students as young as fourteen,”

“Are your parents good with it?”

“Yes,” Regulus responded coolly, “Why wouldn’t they be?”

Lily leaned down, resting her head on her arm which was on the desk. She was quite
exhausted honestly. She hadn’t slept well the night before, because her parents were still
stuck on her coming to Petunia’s wedding.

She was getting letter after letter, from Petunia asking her to tell their parents to stop asking
her to accommodate Lily and from her parents reassuring her she’d be attending this summer.
She hadn’t answered any of them, choosing instead to burn them with a cigarette butt and
Sirius’ laugh ringing in her ears.

He wasn’t a great influence on her, but he listened, so she hung out with him and let him
corrupt her.

“Are you going to keep telling me I shouldn’t do something I’ve been working at for two
years now or are you actually going to help me?” Regulus snapped at James. He wasn’t
looking at him, but was pressing very hard into his paper. Lily wouldn’t be surprised if
James’ desk was marked up by the end of this.

James smiled, “Yeah sorry,” He leaned into Regulus to get a better look at his paper, “Where
have you gotten to?”
As Regulus explained the processes involved in becoming an Animagus, Lily realised how
intelligent he was. Of course she knew he was smart but there was an underlying
sophistication in how he spoke she hadn’t picked up before.

Regulus had a drawling, gentle voice. When he spoke it reminded Lily of the Opera shows
her mother would take her to when she was younger.

Her mother had been wealthy until she’d married her father. He came from a family that
Lily’s mother’s family didn’t approve of, and they’d begun to cut her off from their money.
Lily had grown up eating very little, sharing her parents clothes, and watching films by
sneaking into the theatre.

But when Lily had turned five, her mother had decided to start taking her and Petunia to the
opera once every month. They did it consecutively for a year, until it became too expensive
and they'd had to stop. It was one of the few things Lily’s mother had liked doing with her
until she got her letter.

She liked Regulus’ operatic voice, he seemed like he was meant to be out on a stage and
admired, not hiding in the back of a classroom like he so often was.

Regulus got quiet eventually, and became invested in writing, Lily and James stayed by him,
offering small critiques every once in a while, but mostly just appreciating the time spent
with him.

If you’d told Lily a few years ago, hell a few months ago, she’d be close friends with Regulus
Black, she would have smacked you, but here she was.

Maybe it was because he reminded her of Severus, maybe because he reminded her of Sirius,
but most likely because he was a pleasant person who looked at Lily in a way that dried her
mouth and stole her breath.

Without warning, Regulus slumped forward, his head hitting the desk with a loud thump. Lily
jumped up and Jame’s head snapped towards him.

“Regulus?!” Lily exclaimed, shaking his arm.

James peeked at his face before smiling up at Lily and putting a finger to his lips.

“Asleep” he mouthed and Lily made a soft noise of recognition.

She wasn’t sure how he’d managed to fall asleep in the middle of writing an essay, but she
wasn’t about to wake him up. Sirius had told her horror stories about his attempts to wake up
his brother.

James stood up and moved Regulus so he wasn’t resting on the desk anymore, then scooped
him up, bridal style and placed him carefully on his bed.

Lily softened at the image of James gently tucking Regulus under the covers, a caring smile
patterning his face. He turned back to Lily, gesturing over to one of the other beds. From the
books strewn around, Lily assumed it was Remus’.
She lay down on her back next to him and he smiled softly at her.

“Hi Lily,” He murmured, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear.

“Hello James,” She whispered back, catching his hand and holding it to her cheek.

“You think Padfoot’ll be pissed Regulus is here?”

Lily shook her head, “Remus is more likely to be angry we stole his bed,”

“We’ll we couldn’t exactly put him on the floor could we?”

Lily laughed but James quickly stifled it with his hand, a smile brightening his own features.

Lily glanced behind her to make sure she hadn’t disturbed Regulus. It seemed like he was
still asleep. He’d curled himself into a tight ball and looked to be shivering.

Lily turned back to James, “What happened to him?” She whispered, “How’d his hand get
like that?”

James just shook his head, “I don’t think he wants me to tell people, probably has something
to with this his martyr complex,”

Lily raised her eyebrows, “he has a martyr complex?”

“Not confirmed, but highly likely,”

Lily laughed again, quietly this time. Regulus had seemed fragile when she saw him. Like he
was on the verge of collapse and one wrong word would push him into a dark abyss with no
hope of return. Lily hadn’t wanted to be the one to push him into that abyss, instead she
hoped she’d helped coax him away from it.

“Do you think he’ll be alright?”

James chewed his lip and shrugged as best he could while lying on his side, “I want him to
be, and I think he wants to be as well,” He peered over Lily's shoulder to look at Regulus and
Lily followed his gaze.

She couldn’t see his face, but she could hear soft grunts and maybe a whimper or two coming
from him.

“I hope so,”

James smiled at her then placed a hand on her waist, “So, my darling Lily, how are you?”

She returned the smile and inched a bit closer to him, her legs tangling with his, “I hate you,”
she replied fondly, tracing his jaw with her index finger.

“Nah, you don’t,”

Lily hummed softly, scanning his features. Even when she’d been convinced James Potter
was a boil on the bottom of her foot, she’d still appreciated how effortlessly beautiful he was.

His skin tanned with scars on his cheek and forehead from spots he’d had when he was
younger. He kept a clean shaven face, but every once in a while Lily could see a hint of
stubble on his jaw. He had deep brown eyes and messy black hair that stuck up at the back
and never looked brushed.

Lily sighed, any thoughts besides James-- except for the image of a different dark haired boy
with greyish blue eyes-- melting away.

Lily moved closer to him, twisting her fingers in the hair at the back of his head, and
touching her forehead to his.

“James,” she breathed out, she was close enough to feel him pressed against her chest.

James smiled, “May I kiss you?”

Lily didn’t grace him with an answer, she pressed her lips against his and felt his smile. It
made her feel rather special.

SIRIUS

Moony looked so pretty when he did things.

Even when it was menial tasks, or things Sirius would usually hate, Moony made them so
pretty.

Like prefect rounds with Pandora.

Sirius had a natural disdain for prefects, they were bothersome and hard to avoid when
pranking, but Moony as a prefect was an entirely different story.

He patrolled the halls with such authority and importance, Sirius couldn’t help but listen to
him, like a puppy.

He had come along with Remus today because he thought he’d get a chance to talk to
Regulus, but unfortunately, Pandora Lovegood had strolled along instead. According to her,
Regulus had some last minute studying to do and she was taking his place.

Sirius wasn’t dumb enough to leave his Moony alone with an attractive girl with platinum
blonde hair and pretty blue eyes. He knew better than anyone how desirable Moony was.

As time passed, Sirius began to fall behind the two. Pandora didn’t seem to have any
nefarious intentions towards Remus, but she was odd.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you Remus, how much experience do you have with the creation
of spells?”
Sirius’ head snapped up at Pandora’s question and he darted forward, throwing an arm
around her shoulder.

“Are you trying to corrupt my darling Moony?” he demanded, “You should know the
creation of spells is illegal when done by wizards under twenty one,”

He actually didn't know if that was true, he’d only just made it up, but Pandora wasn’t likely
to know that.

She pushed her glasses up onto her face, “Ah well you’ll just have to keep quiet about it
then,” She turned back to Remus, shrugging Sirius’ arm off her shoulder, “As I was saying, if
you have any knowledge, I’d love some help. I’m working on a couple healing spells,”

She poked one of his scars gently, “I could potentially help heal these types of things,”

Sirius frowned. He liked Remus’ scars. He thought they made him look rugged and cool, not
to mention he had matching ones up and down his legs.

“I’d rather not be your guinea pig, but thanks Pandora,”

She laughed, “I’ve already done trial runs, Regulus and Barty have been helping me, it's just
creating variations of the base spell that I’d like help with,”

Sirius perked up at the mention of his brother’s name. He’d sort of forgotten that him and
Pandora were friends, (and honestly wasn’t completely sure that it wasn’t just a lie to fuck
with him) but now that she’d brought him up, he realised he could absolutely use her to get
more information on his brother.

If Regulus refused to talk to him, he could just interrogate his friends.

“Regulus has been helping you?” Sirius asked, speeding up his pace so he was walking in
line with Pandora and Remus again.

Remus shot him a suspicious glance, which Sirius ignored, and Pandora smiled at him.

“Yes! He’s been lovely! He’s got lots of scars I’ve been able to heal. It takes time, sure, and I
can only do little ones at the moment, but it's great practice,”

“Do you want to be a healer?” Remus asked, steering Pandora away from a stone pillar she
was about to walk into.

“Oh thank you!” She adjusted her glasses, “No, I’m much more interested in the scientific
aspects of magic. I’ve been talking with Helena about combining muggle technology and
theory with magic,”

“Hasn’t all attempts at enchanting mechanical objects proved to be disastrous?” Remus

asked.

“Sure,” Pandora winked at him and Sirius’ blood boiled, “But that just means the right person
hasn’t worked at it yet,”
“Who's Helena?” Sirius interrupted, shoving himself rudely between Remus and Pandora.

She didn’t seem to notice, but Remus glared, “Ravenclaw’s ghost, she’s very nice,”

Sirius didn’t really talk to the ghosts of Hogwarts apart from Peeves and that relationship was
more of a begrudging alliance during desperate times. He tried talking to Nearly-Headless
Nick once, but he was boring so Sirius had given up on ghosts all together.

Remus walked forward pulling Pandora with him and glared at Sirius over his shoulder.
Sirius responded by sticking out his tongue playfully and winking. He caught up with them
easily and linked his arm through Pandora’s.

“How much longer do we have to walk around for? A pretty girl like you shouldn’t be
wasting her time patrolling,”

Pandora frowned, “It’s hardly a waste of time, being a prefect looks wonderful on
applications,”

Sirius rolled his eyes, “Sure but we’ve been at this for hours,” He smiled at her, “Don’t you
think we should take a break, get to know each other?”

“I don’t see why we couldn’t get to know each other while walking? Not to mention you and
Remus are already together, Remus and I know each other very well, and I have no intention
of getting to know you,”

“Why not??” Sirius demanded at the same time as Remus made a strangled sound.

“Regulus would be angry with me, he’d bottle it up of course, but he would be angry,”

Remus sputtered, drawing Sirius and Pandora’s attention “Beg your pardon?!”

Pandora frowned, “Regulus would be angry? He’s a good friend and doesn’t like you very
much,”

Sirius opened his mouth to protest that, but Remus spoke before he could.

“Not that bit!” He cleared his throat and glanced anxiously at Sirius, “You said we’re- well,
you said we’re together?”

Sirius blinked, come to think about it, she had said that. He turned to look at Pandora, but she
seemed just as confused as they were.

“You are aren’t you? I mean I’ve seen your amortentia scents, and also spent time with both
of you,” She tilted her head, “I thought it was rather obvious,”

“Well we are,”

“We’re not dating,”

Sirius glanced at Remus, a panicked expression on his face. They hadn’t talked about it, but
Sirius certainly didn’t expect Remus to say that they were together, especially to someone
they didn’t know all that well.

“We aren’t,” Remus clarified, and Sirius winced at the clipped tone in his voice, He glanced
at his wrist where he had a watch strapped, “We probably should finish up, it's getting late,”

“Sure, I’ll see you tomorrow, yes?”

“Do we have rounds?”

“No, but we still go to the same school,”

Remus smiled softly and nodded, waving goodbye to Pandora, “I’ll see you tomorrow
Pandora,”

She grinned at him and returned his wave happily, taking the steps that led to the Ravenclaw
tower, “Bye! Nice speaking with you Sirius, lets not do it again,”

Sirius waved to her, normally he’d be a bit upset that she was brushing him off like she was.
He didn’t mind rejection but rejection on the basis of his brother stung a bit. But he couldn’t
bring himself to really think about Pandora.

“Want to head up to the common room?” Remus asked, not sparing Sirius a glance as he
started towards the long stairwell.

Sirius nodded and followed but there was an obvious discomfort between them.

The past few days he’d found himself wishing his birthday had never happened.

Not because he didn’t love kissing Moony, or because he regretted it. When he was with
Remus he was happy. Freely happy, with no ball and chain around his ankle dragging him
down.

But since his birthday, there had been an air of tension between them. Maybe it was because
they’d only just smoothed over their argument about Sirius's mistake with Snape, but it felt
like it ran deeper than that.

It wasn’t that Sirius didn’t want to be dating Moony, it was more that everytime he thought
something nice about him he was filled with an ingrained sense of self hatred. He wanted to
be able to talk with him, and hold him, and kiss him, without his mother screeching in the
back of his mind.

Sirius didn’t think Moony deserved to be with someone who couldn’t give him all of
themself.

“You’re staying here over the holidays right?” Remus asked as they waited for one of the
steps to change positions.

Sirius swallowed, “Yeah I’m staying, why?”

“James and Marlene had an idea of holding a quidditch match on the 23rd, James told me to
recruit,”

Sirius remembered Lily saying something about that but he hadn’t really been listening, she’d
been telling him about her date with James at the time and he didn’t really fancy hearing
about how charming his best mate was.

“Who have you asked besides me?”

“Pandora and she’s asking Xenophilius,”

That name was familiar to Sirius but he wasn’t sure from where, “Who’s that?”

“Ravenclaw prefect, I don’t think he plays on the team, but Pandora says he’s not bad,”

Sirius scoffed, “And you listen to everything Pandora says?”

Remus glanced sideways at him, the staircase was in place now and he started walking up it.
Sirius wished they had the map with them, but Peter had borrowed it for some reason. He
never told them why he used the map so much, but Sirius suspected it was because he had a
secret girlfriend.

“What's that supposed to mean?” Remus asked.

Sirius shrugged, “Nothing, just that you seem to get along well,”

“She’s very nice, smart too,”

He knew he shouldn’t be angry. After all he was just thinking about how much better it
would be if Remus had someone who could give him their all, and Pandora was a lovely girl.
The problem with that train of thought was that Sirius got jealous far too easily for it to go
anywhere.

Remus was his Moony. He was more his than anyone else's and Sirius didn’t want to let him
go.

“I just think it's strange you like her so much. I can’t blame you she’s pretty I guess,”

Remus rolled his eyes, “you’re being childish Sirius. You were the one practically throwing
yourself at her,”

Sirius blinked, he had not been throwing himself at her in the slightest, “What are you talking
about?”

Remus put on a haughty high English accent that was clearly meant to be an imitation of
Sirius, “A pretty girl like you shouldn’t be patrolling! I’m just going to drape myself across
your shoulders and link my arm with yours in an entirely platonic way,” He laughed, “Even
she noticed it and she’s rather dim when it comes to that stuff,”

Sirius felt himself flush, “First off, I do not sound like that-”
“You absolutely do,”

“-shut up. And second, it was platonic! I was trying to be friendly,”

Remus scoffed, “Come on Padfoot, you were flirting,”

He wasn’t looking at Sirius, in fact he seemed to be avoiding his gaze altogether.

“I was not!”

“You were and its fine,”

Sirius was bewildered. He really hadn’t meant to flirt with Pandora, and he was fairly certain
Remus knew what his flirting was actually like. Suddenly, realisation dawned on him and he
grinned widely, throwing an arm around Remus’ shoulder, same as he'd done to Pandora.

“Were you jealous Moony?”

Remus glared down at him, and halfheartedly tried to shake Sirius' arm off of him.

“No,” he lied, “I was not- I am not jealous,”

Sirius laughed, “You are too!” He teased, “I have made Remus Lupin jealous! God I need to
talk with Pandora more if this is what happens when I do,”

Remus glared at him, “How could I be jealous, Sirius?” He turned away, his voice becoming
soft, “We’re not together, remember,”

The lighthearted air Sirius had managed to procure dissipated and his face fell. He’d
forgotten he’d done that.

He mentally cursed his own stupidity as they reached the portrait of the fat lady and Remus
told her the password. She swung open and Sirius noticed that the common room was empty.

He grabbed Remus’ wrist. Sirius wanted him. He wanted to be able to love him.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured, “I- I’m just sorry,” He said helplessly.

Remus glanced around before stepping a bit closer to Sirius and grazing their fingers against
each other.

Sirius shivered at the touch. It was just what Moony did to him.

He made Sirius raw. He stripped away every defence Sirius had carefully put up with one
touch because when it was Remus, the defences were transparent. From the moment they’d
laid eyes on each other, they’d understood everything there was to understand about each
other.

“It’s alright,” Remus muttered, as Sirius stepped a bit closer, “I shouldn’t have told Pandora
without talking to you,”
“I want to ,” Sirius said, the rest of his sentence crumbling in his mouth.

“You want to what?” Remus asked, finally threading his fingers with Sirius’.

“Love you,”

Remus took a sharp breath and tightened his grip on Sirius hand, “But you don’t.”

It wasn’t a question and that sent a bolt of fear through Sirius, “I do,” he said quickly, “But I
don’t know how to,”

Remus exhaled in relief, “I don’t know either,” he said simply.

Sirius looked up at him, his eyes drifting across Remus as he did so. He admired his thin,
boney physique, his eyes tracing the scars that peeked out from his sweater. He catalogued
every detail about Remus, filing it into his brain in a special place he knew as “Things He’d
Never Forget,”.

Sirius lifted his hand tentatively-- he knew it was visibly shaking-- and brought it up to
Remus’ face to run his thumb along his cheekbone.

Remus’s eyes met Sirius’, they looked unsure and surprisingly, that comforted Sirius.

“You want to figure it out together?”

Sirius exhaled, closing his eyes and nodding as he did so.

“Please,” he breathed out.

He was very aware of how reckless they were being. They were in the middle of the common
room, someone could walk in at any minute. People didn’t really care when two guys kissed
each other drunk, in front of dozens of people because of a dare, but holding hands and
staring into each other's eyes? That was queer.

“Upstairs?” Remus asked, and Sirius nodded. He turned on his heel and dragged a laughing
Remus up the steps to their dorm.

They barely made it two steps inside their room before Sirius was pushing Remus up against
the door, his face cupped in Sirius’ hands and their mouths pressed together sloppily.

It wasn’t a kiss that was meant to be pretty or particularly romantic. But it felt like a first kiss.

A bit hesitant, a bit nervous, but wonderful.

Remus pushed back against Sirius, moving them towards the closest bed, which just so
happened to be James’. Sirius fell back easily and landed on something boney and lumpy.

He, and the thing he’d landed on, yelped and he jumped up immediately.

Sirius whirled around to yell at James or Peter, when he came face to face with his brother.
 REGULUS

Regulus knew he’d fallen asleep and he knew he was probably not in his own bed, but he
couldn’t bring himself to care.

The bed he was in was cosy. It had lots of pillows, one of which he was holding close to his
chest and the blankets made him feel like a swaddled baby.

He hadn’t slept this well in a very long time and so he didn’t even move when he heard the
door slam and some people come inside loudly, even though that was something that would
usually rouse him.

He eventually dragged himself from the comforting cages of sleep when someone landed on
top of him with a loud shout.

Regulus matched the scream and pushed himself up onto his elbow, rubbing his eyes to try
and get a better look at who was there.

He wasn’t sure who it was exactly, but he saw black hair and grey eyes. For a moment, he
thought he was having a very realistic, and strange, dream where a mirror was staring at him,
before he realised it was his brother.

“Sirius?” He mumbled sleepily, “What are you doing here?”

Sirius looked just as confused-- and maybe a little frightened but Regulus couldn’t be sure--
as him, “What am I doing here? What are you doing here?” He demanded, “Why are you in
James’ bed?”

“James’ bed?”

Regulus didn’t know what was happening. He’d been studying hadn’t he? He'd been writing
his essay with James and Lily and they’d been helping him. Why would he be in James’ bed?

“Yes, James’ bed, where is he??”

“Sirius?” Another voice said and Regulus looked to where it came from.

In the bed just next to the one Regulus was in, there were two people, James and Lily.

James was rubbing his eyes and sitting up straight, but Lily still looked to be half asleep. She
hadn’t gotten up and only had one hand over her eyes.

Sirius marched over to his friends and smacked the back of his head. Regulus wasn’t sure
why, Sirius and James rarely got angry with each other from what he knew.

“Ow,” James reacted, glaring up at Sirius, “What was that for?”

“Why is my brother in your bed?” Sirius interrogated, crossing his arms defiantly.
James looked over to Regulus, who offered a small wave. He still wasn’t completely sure
what was going on or how he’d gotten there.

“Oh, he’s up,” James smiled sleepily at Regulus, “You sleep okay sunshine? You passed out
while working so I moved you over there,”

Regulus had a vague recollection of feeling tired, but it wasn’t like him to fall asleep while
working, he hoped he’d finished his essay.

Sirius made a noise of confusion, “Why was he here in the first place?? He’s supposed to be
doing rounds!”

James glanced at Regulus, a questioning look in his eyes. He seemed to be asking permission
for something but Regulus wasn’t sure what.

Ah, right.

He’d come to James’ room in the first place because he’d broken down over a piano and
bruised his hand. James had insisted on getting him help for it and brought him to his room
so that Lily could heal him.

Regulus shook his head slightly, and James nodded, turning back to Sirius with a confident
grin on his face.

“Tutoring, remember? I needed extra help and the classroom was occupied so we came up
here,”

Sirius still seemed confused and a bit angry maybe, but he didn’t say anything else. Remus--
who Regulus hadn't noticed was there until now--stepped forward, putting a hand on Sirius'
shoulder placatingly.

“Pandora mentioned Regulus was studying remember?”

Sirius nodded but his expression stayed fixed in place.

Regulus stood up. He’d managed to get a handle on himself and knew he had to go. He never
should have stayed in the first place.

“Thank you for letting me stay,” he said, grabbing his papers and shoving them into his bag.
He glanced at his essay, he’d gotten through most of it, but it looked like he still had some
work that needed to be done.

James stood up and grabbed Regulus’ wrist, making him tense, “You can stay here a bit
longer if you’d like,” He smiled and Regulus felt his resolve weaken, “You haven’t finished
your work right?”

Regulus wanted to stay. He wanted to ask James if they could play together again, to
schedule another painting session with Lily so he could admire her again. He wanted to laugh
with his brother.
“I’m fine,” Regulus said. He knew his voice was bleak and unconvincing, “I’ll finish it later,
thank you,”

James opened his mouth to protest but before he could get a word in, Regulus was out the
door. He made his way down to kitchens and asked Marco if he could speak to Kinsy.

“Kinsy is rather busy at the moment," Marco apologized, "she has become very interested in
the books you gave her,”

Regulus smiled, he was pleased that Kinsy was enjoying his gifts.

Now that he thought about it, he hadn’t worked on holiday gifts in a while. He was still
completely unsure of what to get his friends.

He pondered it as he walked to his dorm.

He could probably get Pandora some paints, or maybe a book by that muggle author she
liked. He wasn’t sure where to buy muggle books though, he’d have to ask. Barty was easy,
Regulus could promise to do his homework, like he'd done past years, and he’d be happy, but
Evan was harder.

Last year he’d gotten him a transfiguration textbook because he’d remembered Evan saying
he needed one. When he’d opened it, he’d looked at Regulus like he was mad and Regulus
had decided to get better at gift giving this year.

He knew Evan liked presents and he wasn't going home for the holidays this year, so he’d
need a bit of a pick me up. Evan was one of those insane people, who actually liked spending
Christmas with his family. Regulus would never understand him.

A thought drifted into Regulus' mind. Should he get a gift for Lily or James? Probably not
James, he was only tutoring him after all but Lily and him had formed a sort of friendship
despite Regulus’ best efforts.

He shouldn't; he was meant to be pushing them away.

Regulus muttered the password and climbed the steps to his room. Evan was passed out in his
bed and Kai was working on something with their other dorm mate, Charles. He waved a
quick hello, which they returned cordially before flopping down in his bed and closing the
curtains.

He cast a quick, wandless, sealing spell as well as some silencing charms and lay on his back,
staring at the ceiling.

He should apologise to Joston tomorrow, she was just worried about him and he’d lashed out
because he was stressed. He should also make sure Pandora did rounds and he didn’t abandon
Remus on his own.

He thought Remus might have mentioned him when he spoke to him earlier, but Regulus
couldn’t be sure.
 Regulus sighed and closed his eyes when he heard a banging on his curtains.

He frowned, Charles and Kai rarely bothered him, Evan was asleep and Barty wasn’t there.
He pulled open the curtain to reveal Kai standing over him, two letters in his hand. The seals
were both unbroken and familiar.

“I forgot to mention you got mail,” He handed them over to Regulus and then shut the
curtains again before he could say thank you.

Regulus liked the dynamic he had with his dorm mates. They didn’t ask questions and he did
their school work, it wasn’t a bad deal at all.

The first letter was from Narcissa. She was checking up on Regulus and making sure he was
getting enough rest. Apparently she’d be visiting some of Lucius’ extended family for the
holidays so Regulus couldn’t stay with her, but Bella was still here and had said he could stay
with her.

The second letter was written in his mother’s familiar neat scrawl. She wrote for the same
reason as Narcissa, not to check up on him, but inform him that she and their father would be
going to France for Christmas to visit his family. Regulus was to stay at Hogwarts for
Christmas or with one of his cousins.

Regulus sighed and tucked the letters away, in the drawer by his bed. He would write back
later, informing Cissy that he would not be staying with Bellatrix as she had a tendency to ask
Regulus to perform Unforgivables on rabbits and telling his mother he was staying at
Hogwarts.

Regulus closed his eyes, he didn't feel like having supper tonight, he was tired enough as is.

He took longer to fall asleep, mostly because he was mourning the comfort of James’ bed.

Chapter End Notes

that is as angsty as wolfstar is ever going to get in this fic, I can't hurt them, I love them
far too much

Is it realistic that Regulus squeezed his hand so hard it bruised? no. Do I care? also no

Also you know that one tiktok sound that like "I am in misery, (I save dick by giving it
cpr)" I'd like you to know that was what was going through my head when writing
James, Lily and Regulus' dynamic in up and coming chapters

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!! I really didn't expect anyone to actaully
care about this so thank you so much its lovely to see your comments and kudos, its
really amazing
 The Heart-Wrenching Consequences of Painting
Chapter Summary

Quidditch and also some emotions

Chapter Notes

Listened to All To Well (Ten Minute Version) (Taylor's Version) (From The Vault) while
writing this.

Very brief mention of rape in refernce to Medusa's story

See the end of the chapter for more notes

JAMES

If you were to ask James what he loved most in the world, he’d have a hard time telling you.

Of course there was his mum, but there was also Padfoot, Moony, and Wormtail. And he
couldn’t forget about Lily, or Marlene, Mary and Dorcas.

So whenever someone asked him that question, he told them it was quidditch, which was
rather high on James’ list of favourite things.

Daisy Joston, was not on the list.

She was a built woman, with thick arms and thighs. Her face was usually folded into a frown
and she had intimidated James when he was younger. Then he heard her talk to Mary and her
voice went all soft and he knew she was a sap with a mean face.

He still didn’t like her much. She was the enemy after all, but he had to appreciate her ability
to handle her team.

Every slytherin player was standing in line as Joston lectured them, they seemed to hold her
in high esteem. Her ability to do everything at once, rivalled even Moony.

James turned to his own team. They weren’t standing in a stiff line like the Slytherins, but
when James clapped his hands together and called for a huddle, they all listened.

James put on his best Captain's Face and began talking.

“Right, today’s just a mock match so use it to try things you might not in a real game. Get
creative, try strategies, figure them out,” he paused, “But still try to win,”

Sirius rolled his eyes and sent a smirk James’ way, “So competitive Prongsie, any chance it's
because of a certain redhead watching you today?”

“Shut up Padfoot,”

Alice, one of their chasers, grinned, “This’ll be your first match as a taken man, and by Lily,
merlin I can’t believe you wore her down,”

“Okay, what is it, 'Tease James Day'? Focus up!” He turned to Frank, trying to keep the blush
from his face, “I want you to talk to us out there. Tell us who’s open and who isn’t. Call us
back if you need, don’t be too nice,”

Frank nodded and James addressed the whole team again, “Alice and Jasper, Joston doesn’t
fall for feints, don’t try them,”

Jasper scoffed, “You do them more than us Potter,”

James glared at him and Jasper winked, merlin he was such a pain. He was lucky he was such
a good player.

“Marlene, Sirius, don’t waste those bludgers. And don’t maim anyone yeah? Minnie will get
pissed at me again,”

“Not even Mulciber?” Marlene asked.

James paused and glanced behind him. Mulciber was standing in the line of Slytherin’s, a
cocky smirk on his face. James narrowed his eyes and turned back to Marlene.

“You can maim him of you get the chance, but no one else,” He sent a pointed look to Sirius,
“Even Regulus,”

Sirius rolled his eyes but James knew he’d never actually hurt his brother. The two of them
still cared about each other, even though they refused to talk about it.

“George, I want you to focus on implementing some of the stuff we worked on,”

George Horwell was their seeker. He was in his fourth year and had only been flying for that
long. He wasn’t experienced or confident, but he was a quick learner and he didn’t let his
mistakes get to him. James was sure that by the end of the year, George would leave Regulus
in the dust.

He thought back to the last Slytherin-Gryffindor match, where Regulus had flown beside
him. How impressed James had been.

It might end up taking George a bit longer than a year to beat Regulus, but James trusted him.
“Remember your basics and don’t psych yourself out,” He clapped George on the shoulder
then glanced over his shoulder to see if Joston was ready.

She was examining her broom, clearly waiting for James to come over. Her team was already
hovering in the air and Mary, who was acting as a referee for the match because Hooch didn’t
like doing mock matches, was chatting with her.

“Keep your head up everyone, we’ve got this,”

He walked over to Joston and Mary, glancing at the stands as he made his way there.

They weren’t full in the slightest. Most students were either studying, or spending time with
friends on a wednesday evening, not sitting in the cold watching a match that didn’t even
count for points.

There were more people then there had been for their practice with Ravenclaw, much more
Slytherin’s.

He spotted Pandora in the crowd as well, though she seemed quite focused on Regulus.

Crowds never bothered James, he loved to have an audience, but this crowd was different
because this crowd had Lily Evans in it.

Lily didn’t come to most games. She always came to proper Gryffindor matches, and if they
got Remus to come to other matches, then Lily would join, but she wasn’t big on Quidditch.
Today, she’d come for James’ sake. Because he’d asked her to, and she, being the wonderful
girlfriend she was, had agreed.

“Afternoon Potter,” Joston extended her hand and James accepted it.

“Afternoon Joston, lovely day isn’t it?”

Joston grunted and turned to Mary.

She grinned, and grabbed the trunk that held the balls, “No foul play you two, I want a clean
match,”

James winked at her and Joston nodded seriously. They stepped away from each other and
mounted their brooms.

Everyone was in position, and so Mary knelt down and unbuckled the trunk.

She let loose the Snitch first, and James watched it zip through the air. It paused, just in front
of Regulus’ nose, which should have frustrated him-- having your objective right in front of
you but being unable to touch it-- but he remained calm.

That was something marvellous about Regulus, he had such control over himself. There had
only been a few times where James had felt he saw Regulus, all of Regulus and every time,
he’d become enraptured by it.
He wanted to make him come undone. He wanted to hear him burst out laughing, so hard he
couldn’t breath, see shock or embarrassment overtake his stony features.

The Bludgers were let out next, but James didn’t think about them. He was still focused on
Regulus.

Sirius had never been as reserved, he’d always worn his emotions on his sleeve. That had
been one of the reasons they’d gotten along as well as they had. Both him and James were
honest and not shy about their feelings.

But Regulus was different. He was behind a thick glass pane. One of the ones with pretty
designs on them that could shroud peoples features. James could think of three times where
he’d managed to crack the glass.

Those occurrences were the same ones that had been invading James’ mind. When Regulus
had landed on top of him, when Regulus had kissed him, and when Regulus had blown up
that potion.

James thought that, if he could recreate one of these moments, and see behind the glass just
once more, he might be able to barre the thoughts he'd been thinking about Regulus.

The problem was, it was difficult to recreate them.

He couldn’t kiss Regulus now that he was dating Lily, blowing up another potion was out of
the question, he cared too much about what Regulus thought of him. That left, falling on each
other.

James could probably do that in this match.

The Quaffle was thrown in the air and James lunged for it, easily tucking it under his arm and
flying towards the hoops. Joston was already positioned to block his goal and he could feel
one of Slytherin’s chasers coming up behind him.

James grinned, any anxieties about the game being blown away by the whipping wind around
him.

This was what he was good at. He could mess up friendships, relationships, potions, pranks
but he never messed up Quidditch. It was as easy as breathing to James.

He scored easily, throwing it to Joston’s left, and heard a few claps from the audience.

Lily and Remus were sitting in the stands, Remus with a book in his lap. They were both
clapping enthusiastically and James grinned at them. He sent a wink Lily’s way as well, but
he wasn’t sure she saw it.

The game ended up being harder than James had anticipated. About a half hour in, clouds
began to roll in and rain started to obscure their visions.

Neither Regulus nor George had seen the snitch once throughout their game and eventually
Mary called Joston and James down from the pitch.
“You two want to call this off? We’ve lost half our audience and I’m getting tired,”

James glanced at Joston from the corner of his eye. If he stopped, he’d never forgive himself.
He needed George to know that he trusted him to win it for them.

Right now, the points were close and James knew it would be down to who caught the snitch.

He wouldn’t be the one to end it. That would be quitting and if there was one thing James
hated, it was quitting.

Joston glanced at him and he shrugged, so she set her mouth in a firm line and turned to
Mary, shaking her head.

“If he’s still good so am I,”

It was clearly a challenge, and one James wasn’t about to back down from.

“I’m still good,”

Mary groaned, “You two are ridiculous,” She sighed and rubbed her temple, “Alright, if it's
not done in half an hour I’m getting McGonagall and she’ll force you two to come in,”

“Sounds perfect,” James said, “George will get it in twenty,”

Joston scoffed, “Regulus will get it in half that,”

She flew back up to the hoops before James could retort and the game started up.

Neither of them ended up being correct.

Twenty minutes passed and George and Regulus hadn’t so much as dived. When James
glanced up at them, they seemed to be talking actually. Regulus was even smiling. And
laughing.

James frowned and shot up to hover beside them.

“Horwell, Black! Quit chatting and catch that snitch! This is a match, not a social gathering!”

George looked away from James and muttered an apology but Regulus raised his eyebrow.

Rain suited him.

His curls had fallen flat against his forehead and his nose and cheeks had become viciously
pink. His hands were shaking where they clutched his broom and James could see that the
bruise he’d given himself had already begun to heal.

Honestly, James thought he looked beautiful.

“You’ve got the power to end the match, Captain, just say the word,”

James had been called Captain plenty of times in all sorts of ways.
Sirius usually said it tauntingly, his teammates usually said it reverently, Lily used to use it as
an insult but the way Regulus said it.

The word fell so naturally from his lips, James would have thought he’d said it a thousand
times before. Before he spoke it, he savoured its taste on his tongue. It danced in his mouth as
he decided how best to pronounce it. How to pronounce it in a way that would ruin James.

James felt a shiver run down his spine that he blamed on the cold but knew was because of
Regulus.

“Well Captain? Are you done?”

There it was again. That title. The smirk that came along with it. James wanted to wipe it off
his face.

Suddenly, George dove. It took James aback, but Regulus adapted easily. He followed
George, catching up quickly. James could do nothing but return to the game.

He intercepted a pass from one of the Slytherin chasers and began to fly towards the hoops
guarded by Joston.

Alice was to his right, but he didn’t want to pass, he wanted to score. James knew Regulus
would probably catch the snitch because as much as he loved George and trusted him,
Regulus was an amazing seeker, he wouldn’t be surprised if he went pro.

James approached Joston, she was glaring at him, her hands stretched out to catch the Quaffle
no matter where he threw it. James knew he should pass, Alice could get it in easily from
where she was positioned.

Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted Regulus and George, both of their hands outstretched
towards a golden glint and made his decision.

He skidded to a halt and drew his arm back. He knew Joston rarely fell for feints, but
sometimes, when James did it very well, he could trick her. And hadn’t he told them not to be
afraid of trying things in their huddle at the beginning?

He feigned launching the Quaffle towards the right hoop and Joston went for it.

Got her.

At the last second, James flicked his wrist, effectively killing most of his force, but he didn’t
need it. The Quaffle shot towards the left hoop and Joston adjusted, trying to save it, but the
glare on her face told James he’d gotten it.

Mary blew her whistle and James glanced over his shoulder towards where he knew the
seekers were.

Regulus’ right hand was clutched close to his chest, but James could make out a spot of gold
in between his pale fingers.
Fingers James still hadn’t been able to get out of his head.

He flew down to George, who looked dejected, and mussed his hair, a confident smile on his
face.

“Brilliant job out there Georgie!”

George looked at him morosely, “I didn’t catch it,”

James shrugged, “You spotted it first though, and I saw you at the end there, you were
close,”

He clapped him on the shoulder and began to lead him to the change rooms, waving to the
rest of his team to follow him. He didn’t want to stay out in the rain longer than he had to.

“Thanks for the game Joston! And thank you Mary for reffing it!” He waved to the girls as he
left and Mary waved back. Joston sent him a nod, which was more than anything James had
ever gotten from her before so he accepted it proudly.

Once he was in the changeroom, Alice came up behind him, shoving at his shoulder
playfully, “What happened to no feints huh? I was wide open!”

James grinned sheepishly at ther, “Sorry Alice, but when the opportunity arises you just have
to take it,”

“The opportunity arises for me all the time and you tell me to ignore it,” Jasper whined, he
had already started peeling off his uniform and James looked away politely.

“That's because you never succeed,”

“Oi!”

“Alright everyone calm down,” Frank entered the changeroom, followed by Sirius and
Marlene. Both were muddy and grinning, which James knew to be a sign of trouble.

Sirius saddled up next to him, and James nudged him gently. Everyone else had begun
changing, not bothering to use the private rooms. Frank, Alice, and Jasper had been on the
team since their second year, which means they’d spent six years getting changed around
each other. Marlene, Sirius and James were the same.

Geroge was the only one who regularly used the rooms and even he was getting more
comfortable around them as time passed.

“What happened to you?” James asked Sirius, pulling a jumper over his head.

Sirius grinned wickedly and James returned it, he had a very infectious smile, “McKinnon
and I got in a skirmish with Mulciber right at the end there,” He paused, frowning at James’
chest, “Is that Moony’s sweater?”
James looked down. He remembered stealing the jumper from Moony’s drawers a few days
ago because he was cold in the common room and couldn’t find anything else. In his defence,
Remus hadn’t noticed it was missing yet. He could drown himself in sweaters if he tried.

He smiled sheepishly at Sirius, “Don’t tell him?”

Sirius laughed, pulling on a hoodie and tying his hair into a small bun, “You don’t ask any
more questions about Mulciber and it's a deal,”

“Oh god what did you do?”

Sirius winked, shoving his uniform in his bag and leaning on the wall, “You really want
Moony to find out you stole his favourite jumper?”

“This is not his favourite,” James protested, “His favourite is the one with the deer on it,”

Sirius scoffed and rolled his eyes, “It is not. He likes the one his mum knitted for him, even
though it's so scratchy,”

James smiled fondly, Remus’ mum, Hope, was a very lovely lady who was horrible at crafts.
Every year she became invested in another form of artistry, two years ago, when Remus’
addiction to sweaters really began, she taught herself how to knit and made them all red and
yellow jumpers.

She didn’t knit anymore but she had become interested in pottery. James suspected that
Remus’ Christmas gifts this year would be made of clay.

“So Captain Potter? Any tips for our match this saturday?” Alice asked, drawing James’
attention to his team.

They seemed about ready to leave, but were looking at James for guidance.

He thought back to the match, they kept up, but if they wanted to win against Slytherin, they
would need to obliterate.

“Frank, work on your left side. Everyone’s picked up that you’re weaker there. Alice, Jasper,
take more shots. It’s Quidditch, not keep-away. Marlene, I get you don’t like Mulciber but
you can’t bring your own biases to the pitch, you hit who needs to be hit. Sirius, stop getting
distracted and be more strategic. George,” He paused. He didn’t want to overwhelm the kid.
But he was looking at him determinedly and James was never one to sugar coat.

“Get faster. You see it fast enough, but can’t catch up. You’ve got a good broom and should
be able to beat Regulus when you see the snitch first,”

He smiled at this team, “We’re good but Joston has whipped her team into shape. Can’t rely
on Warrington’s inability to lead anymore,”

Jonah Warrington had been the captain before Joston and he’d been an incompetent sluglike
boy. She’d taken over last year and since then, the team had evolved leaps and bounds.
James didn’t like her much, but he respected her. He also knew Mary liked her and he trusted
Mary’s judgement.

The team filed out of the room and Sirius went with Marlene, leaving James behind to put
away the material.

As he was locking up the trunk, he heard the door open behind him.

James glanced at where the noise had come from and brightened immediately. Lily and Mary
were in the doorway, both of them drenched.

“I am never helping you again,” Mary harrumphed, “This was the worst,”

James laughed, shouldering his bag, “Sorry Mary, but in my defence, I didn’t ask you, Joston
did,”

“Yeah but you’re easier to blame,”

“I suppose,” He smiled at Lily, “Where’d Moony go? Wasn’t he with you?”

“He caught up with Sirius,” Lily informed him, as he intertwined their hands, “He was going
to leave actually but I convinced him to stay,”

James’ heart fluttered, “You didn’t have to. Must have been miserable for you,”

Lily shrugged, standing on her tiptoes to give him a quick kiss on the cheek, “I don’t mind,”
She paused, “I like watching you play,”

James beamed at her, ready to get down on one knee, when Mary smacked the back of his
head.

“Alright get a room you two,” she shoved between them linking her arms with theirs, “Hey
hows that match over the break coming Potter?”

James shrugged. Remus had asked Pandora, which James was pleased about. They’d spent
some time together because he’d been playing for her while she painted and he thought she
was nice. The only other people he’d been able to talk to were his close friends and he still
wasn’t sure Marlene was staying.

“Well, I talked to Daisy and she’s staying so she should be able to come. Although she said
she refused to be on the same team as Sirius,”

“Does she not like him?” James asked, he peered over Mary’s head to get a better look at
Lily. He wanted to talk to her properly. Thank her for coming to the match and staying for the
whole thing.

“No, she does not. Daisy thinks he’s arrogant,”

“Well she’s not wrong,” Lily said with a laugh.

“Hey! He’s getting better,” James protested, “Moony humbles him,”

“That's true,” Lily agreed, “He’s lucky he’s got friends like you three, else he would have
been intolerable,” She checked her watch and gasped softly.

“What is it?” Mary asked, “You forget something at the field?”

“No, no, I have to help someone with something today, I completely forgot,” She untangled
her arm from Mary’s and kissed him on the cheek again before waving goodbye and running
up the steps.

“Wonder what that was about?”

Mary shrugged, and began to pull James towards the common room. They parted ways once
they got there, both going up to their respective dorms.

James was tired from the match, and flopped down on his bed the minute he came in.

“James? That you?” Peter asked, turning around from his desk where he was studying.

“Yeah,” He replied, his voice muffled from the pillow he’d buried himself in.

“Trouble in paradise Prongsie?” Sirius’ taunting voice called out, and James stuck out a
finger at him.

“Oh shush Padfoot,” Remus scolded, “Really though James we’ve got things to do,”

Jame groaned and rolled over, falling off his bed and landing with a thump. None of his
friends moved to check on him, mostly because it was just how he worked, sitting up at the
moment felt tortuous.

“Can’t you do them without me?” He whined, “I’m tired,”

“Sirius played just as much as you did, he’s not as tired.”

James popped his head up, glaring at Peter, who had begun to drag him by the ankles to the
middle of their dorm where blankets and pillows were set up.

“Yeah well he doesn’t study, and he’s not captain, and he doesn’t have to parent himself,”

“Aww you love it though,” Sirius grinned.

“I do not,” James retorted, finally sitting up and crawling over to where he was supposed to
sit, between Sirius and Wormtail, “I’m the same age as you, I don’t understand why I’m more
like your mother than friend,”

“Come now Prongs, don’t do yourself so dirty,” Sirius grabbed some sweets from their stash
and turned on some music “You deserve better than being compared to mother dearest,”

He took his seat, next to James and Remus, and began to distribute the food.
This was a tradition among the marauders. November 10th, the four of them would stay up as
long as they could gorging themselves on sweets and planning their pranks for the rest of the
year.

It began when Sirius threw a hissy fit because they’d fallen asleep on his birthday and
continued when James had wanted to celebrate making it onto the Quidditch team. Remus
had pointed out they did it on the same day and it became a tradition. Peter had been the one
to suggest they use it as a day to plan pranks.

It was only 7:30, and they hadn’t had dinner, but usually they snuck down to the kitchens on
nights like these.

Sirius turned out the lights with a wave of his wand and pulled the blankets around him,
tucking his knees up to his chest. Next to him, Remus grabbed a notebook and quill with
Prank Plans written in large letters at the top.

“Isn’t that a bit obvious?” Peter asked, “The title I mean,”

Remus shook his head, “I used a simplified version of the charms we put on the map, only we
can see it,”

“Our Moony is so smart!” Sirius said proudly. He’d become a swaddle of blankets and only
his face was visible.

“It's not too hard once you’ve done it before,” Remus said sheepishly, but Sirius silenced him
with his hand.

“No it is, you’re amazing,”

James grabbed the notebook from Remus. He’d written a few categories on the page, but it
was mostly blank.

“We shouldn’t do anything for New Years or Christmas, too short notice,”

Peter nodded, “Valentines still works though right?”

“Yeah, we’ll do one for Remus and I’s birthdays, and then one for yours in may,”

He took notes as he spoke, marking down their plans.

“Obviously theres April Fools, and I think we should do a mothers day prank on Minnie,”
Sirius supplied, “Might get us a good talking to, but she’ll find it funny deep down,”

James continued to write down their suggestions as the night went on.

Remus came up with the best ones, but he didn’t think his were too shabby either.

Peter yawned, they’d just finished the food Sirius had brought them and it was 1:00 in the
morning “That's everything right? We can sleep now?”
James examined their list. They didn’t have any of the materials written down, but they could
figure that out another time.

“Yeah I think that's everything, unless you have things you want to add?” He looked up at
Remus and Sirius, who both shook their heads.

“Great,” He tossed the papers away and stood up, making his way over to his bed and falling
onto it ungracefully, “Night,”

He didn’t even bother changing out of his clothes, he’d showered already and Moony hadn’t
even noticed he was wearing his jumper. He might as well keep it a bit longer.

He heard his friends start to go to sleep as well, the familiar rustle of clothes and curtains
piercing his cloth barrier.

James stared at the cover to his bed, where his pictures were pinned, before closing his eyes
and trying to sleep.

Sleep had been hard recently, he kept thinking of things.

Thinking of Lily and her pretty eyes and shiny hair, or, more concerningly, of Regulus.

Regulus’s hands, hair, waist, hands, legs, smile, hands, eyes, hands.

He’d wanted to try and get rid of those thoughts today, by quenching the thirst he had for
Regulus and seeing him out of control, but hadn’t been able to. He’d have to try again when
they saw each other for the match Saturday, or when they had their next tutoring session on
tuesday.

The music that had been playing turned off. It was Sirius’ favourite David Bowie song.

James smiled thinking back to the first time Sirius had heard it.

He’d immediately started playing it on repeat, until James had made him promise to limit it
to once a day. Eventually they’d weaned him off of his drug, but he still loved the song.

An idea began to form in James' mind. This had been one of the first times he'd truly seen
Sirius let loose, surely if he tried to replicate the moment with Regulus, something similar
would happen.

James grinned and rolled over, his eyes beginning to grow heavy.

He fell asleep with the feeling of Regulus’ hands ghosting his skin.

LILY

“Why Medusa?”
Regulus looked up from his canvas. He had a spot of paint on his nose that made Lily smile.

“Why do you ask?”

Lily shrugged, “Just curious,”

He had her standing today and wearing a loose dress that kissed the floor. She felt especially
goddess-like wearing it.

“I find her interesting,”

“Didn’t she betray Athena?”

“Depends on which version you read,” He peered at her, tilting his head, “Some story tellers
say she was raped by Poseidon, others say it was consensual. Some people think Athena’s
curse was meant to be a blessing instead of a punishment, some don’t. Greek myths are
notoriously uncertain,”

Lily hummed. She didn’t know much about Greek myths, besides some basic knowledge.
James would probably know, he was pretentious like that.

She smiled fondly at the thought of him. He may be a connoisseur in mythology, but he was
also incompetent at cooking, so it cancelled out.

Regulus huffed and Lily glanced at him. He was glaring at his canvas, his paintbrush tip
resting on his nose. Lily wondered if he knew he had blue on it.

“Everything alright?”

Regulus shook his head and didn’t say anything else.

“You want me to move?” Lily asked.

Regulus shook his head once more, “It's your throat,”

Lily touched her collarbone self-consciously, “my throat?”

“Your throat,” he confirmed.

“What's wrong with my throat?”

“Nothing,” Regulus stood up and walked over to her, bunching her hair up and clearing it
away from her chest, “I can’t see it, I’m trying to get your bone structure right,”

He walked around her for a few moments, examining her carefully and a rush of energy shot
through Lily.

“May I braid your hair?” He asked, pausing in front of her.

Lily tilted her head, “What for?”

“So I can see your throat,”

“My throat?” She clarified.

“Yes your throat, it has been the topic of our conversation,” He said sarcastically.

Lily relaxed her hands. If Regulus was braiding her hair, she probably wouldn’t need to
model for him, “sure, you want me to sit down?”

“Yeah,” He led her to his chair and turned it away from the canvas. She hadn’t been able to
see the piece since that first time Regulus had shown it to her, but she could spy a few
colours.

“Don’t look,” He chided her, sitting her down on his chair, facing away from the canvas.

“Why not?” Lily pleaded, “I’m sure it's lovely,”

“It's not finished,” Regulus said, running his fingers through her hair gently, “You’ll see it
when its finished,”

He combed through her hair and they sat together in silence before Regulus broke it.

“How are things with Potter?” He asked, handing Lily a section of his hair to hold.

Lily brightened, “Brilliant! I came to his match today and actually stayed through the whole
thing, even though it was raining,”

“Impressive, George and I were considering just leaving the pitch because our captains were
too stubborn to call it off,”

Lily laughed, “That's the other seeker isn’t it?”

“Yeah,”

Regulus was constantly surprising her. She wouldn’t have thought he was the type to strike
up a conversation with the opposing teams seeker, but there he was.

“You’re happy then? Despite resisting his advances for years?” Regulus teased.

“Oh shut it,” Lily admonished softly, swatting at him over her shoulder. She thought of
James.

She thought of how he asked before kissing her, without fail every time. How he touched her,
looked at her, spoke to her. His voice would dip, turning into a sweet sticky honey that made
Lily blush.

She thought of how he traced her face with his fingers. How he parted his lips when he
looked at her. How he’d pulled her into a broom cupboard, kissed her stupid, then taken the
fall when a prefect had caught them.
“I am very happy,” she said, a sigh in her voice.

Regulus didn’t say anything else on the topic of James after that, and continued braiding her
hair. She wasn’t sure exactly what he was doing, but it seemed intricate and complex.

Idle talk made up the rest of their evening and Lily realised Regulus most likely wouldn’t be
doing much more painting. He kept undoing and redoing her hair, but Lily wasn’t
complaining. His fingers felt nice in her hair.

“Have you been using the cure I gave you? For your hands?”

“I have, yeah. Its been working well, thanks,”

Lily tried to look at him, but couldn't as he was holding her head in place, “How did you
bruise your hand so badly? James wouldn’t tell me,”

“Its nothing,” Regulus said, his voice tight but his hands soft, “You don’t need to worry about
that,”

“You sure?” Lily asked, “I don’t mind talking about it,”

“I’m fine,” Regulus answered. He clearly didn’t want Lily to press anymore, so she stopped
asking about it, returning to the small talk that hadn’t mattered to either of them.

She began to lose track of time, forgetting herself in the feeling of Regulus’ fingers.

Lily felt a pin push into her head, making her jump slightly.

“Sorry,” Regulus muttered, “I’m just trying to get this right,”

“You’re really putting a lot of effort into this,”

“I’ve decided to draw your hair in this design instead of down, it works better,”

Lily hummed, “You think you’ll be drawing again tonight? It's getting late,”

Regulus glanced up at the clock on the wall, “Probably not, but I want to get this right,”

Lily shrugged. She didn’t mind letting Regulus play with her hair. It felt nice honestly.

“How’d you learn to do hair like this anyways?”

“My cousin taught me,”

Lily thought back to the cousins Sirius had told her about. There was Andromeda, but she
was disowned, she didn’t expect Regulus was spending a lot of time with her. Next was
Bellatrix, and from Sirius’ stories, she didn’t seem like the type to get her hair braided by her
little cousin. That left Narcissa.

“Narcissa?”
“Yeah, she liked having her hair done up but refused to let house elves do it, so I did,”

Lily felt another pin go into her hair. She wondered where Regulus was pulling them from.

“Are you close?” Lily asked. She knew Sirius wasn’t friendly to his cousins that weren’t
Andromeda, but he’d spoken much more fondly of Narcissa than Bellatrix.

“Yeah, I’d say so, we’re both the youngest so we sort of understand each other,”

“What's there to understand?”

Regulus sighed, parting a section of Lily’s hair, “The pressure. Bella and Annie were both
failures in my aunt and uncle's eyes. Bella’s a bit mad and Annie married a muggleborn, so
everything fell onto Cissy,” One if his fingers tickled the back of Lily’s neck, making her
shiver, “Same thing happened with Sirius and I,”

Lily thought of her own parents. Before she'd gotten her letter, Petunia had been her mum's
favourite, her dad wasn’t home enough to have a preference. Petunia had been thin, low
maintenance, and eager to please. Then Lily had become a witch, and everything had
changed.

Suddenly, Petunia wasn’t enough and Lily was everything. She often found herself nursing a
hatred for her parents, for the relationship they’d wrecked with her sister.

She sighed. That wasn’t true. Petunia had been cruel to her from the beginning, arrogant from
their parent’s praise. Lily’s only solace had been Severus and look how that had turned out.

“I understand,” Lily murmured, tracing the side of her hand with her thumb.

They were quiet for a few moments before Regulus breathed in sharply, putting another pin
in her hair and moving in front of her. He bent down so that they were at eye level and pulled
a few strands of hair out of his design.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be talking about this with you,”

“No, it's fine,” Lily said quickly. She looked away from Regulus, a blush tinting her cheeks,
“I like talking to you,”

Regulus brought to fingers under her chin, tilting her head back towards him.

He had a focused look in his eyes, which were tracing Lily’s features.

She breathed out.

“Most people find me difficult to be around,” Regulus whispered, his eyes trailing
downwards, landing on her lips.

She breathed in.

“I don’t, I think you’re interesting,”

Out.

“Interesting?”

In.

“Yeah,” Her mouth was dry and her lips were parted. Regulus was looking in her eyes now,
that inquisitive, damning gaze pinning her in place.

Out.

“I find you interesting as well,”

In.

“That's reassuring,”

Out.

Regulus chuckled, “I’m glad,” he smiled at her, “I want you to be reassured,”

In.

Was Regulus as fixated on her as she was on him? Or was he only looking at her like that to
satisfy his curiosity as an artist? When he fell asleep was he wracked with guilt because he
was thinking of her alongside James?

Out.

His fingers had moved from under her chin to her jaw. His thumb touched her bottom lip.

In.

She wanted to kiss him. She wanted to fist her fingers in his hair, cup his jaw and feel his
smooth lips against her own. The air around them was electric, Lily could feel it. She wanted
to. More than she’d ever wanted before.

Regulus glanced at her lips again and she would have gotten what she wanted.

James.

Lily pulled away from Regulus, grabbing his hand by the wrist and snatching it away from
her hot face.

A surprised look came across his features before he regained control of himself and stood up.

Neither said anything.

Lily stood up abruptly, muttering a goodbye and rushing out of the room as fast as she could.

She made it to her dorm room, where Mary and Marlene were studying together on the floor.
 “Where’d you go? What are you wearing? And what’s with your hair?,” Marlene asked.

Lily stopped in her tracks, a hand going up to her hair instinctively. She turned to the mirror
and began to tug at the complicated braids in her head.

“Hey, Lils, quit that, you’ll be all tangled,” Mary said, getting up from the bed and walking
over to Lily.

She knew she was benign haphazard about it, but she didn’t care. She needed them out.

“Woah, slow down there, Lils, hang on,”

Lily’s vision was blurring. Her hands were shaking, she was having a hard time breathing.

She realised she was crying.

“Christ, stop that, come sit down,” Mary grabbed Lily’s wrist and pulled her over to the bed.
She stumbled onto it, falling into Marlene’s arms.

She shouldn’t be crying. Things were perfect.

She was a prefect, she would be head girl, she was one of the best in her classes, she was well
liked, she had good friends, she had a boyfriend.

She had a perfect, wonderful, lovely boyfriend, who deserved the world. Who was thoughtful
and kind and considerate and Lily was in love with him. She was sure that she was in love
with him.

“Oh you poor thing,” Mary soothed, her skillful fingers detangling the braids Regulus had
gifted her with.

Regulus.

James deserved better than her. James deserved someone who didn’t want to kiss Regulus.
He deserved someone who wasn’t lost. Who wasn’t hopelessly devoted to two people.

“What is wrong with me?” she hiccuped pitifully.

Mary finished with her hair and scooped her into her arms, making soothing noises and
rubbing her back.

“Nothing love, absolutely nothing,”

Lily sobbed harder.

Chapter End Notes

we are offically about halfway through this story! I actaully sort of have a plan for the
rest of the chapters and I'm expecting to finish it in less than twenty. I think?? Idk I'm
really bad at planning stuff out

THis chapter was insanely difficult to write for some reason, I have no idea why, but
thank you so much for reading. I'm so grateful people are still reading are enjoying this,
it means so much and its so lovely. Just thank you so much.
 The Painful Consequences of Bludgers
Chapter Summary

Quidditch match, Jily, and Black brothers

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

JAMES

Lily had been acting strangely since the mock match on wednesday. She’d been avoiding
James and whenever they did speak, it was often clipped and distant conversation that meant
little to either of them.

James might have been worried that she hated him for making her stay through the whole
match, but she was being strange around other people as well. Remus and Sirius had both
said she seemed distracted.

He’d tried to ask her about it, but she just smiled at him and said she was alright.

He wanted to trust her word, but looking at her now, staring unblinking, into her porridge, he
couldn’t help but doubt her.

James glanced at the Slytherin table where Snape was sitting. He was between Mulciber and
Crouch, his crooked nose buried in an old book and he didn’t seem to be paying attention to
the conversation of the Slytherin quidditch team.

James knew he still loved Lily, and probably would for a very long time. Perhaps he heard
about them dating and lashed out at her.

James turned back to his team.

Jasper and George were talking about a possible play George could use in the match. George
was hanging onto Jasper’s every word and he seemed awfully proud of how enamoured
George was.

Sirius was talking to Marlene, but he didn’t seem as invested as Jasper. He kept glancing in
Remus’ direction.

James noticed they’d been talking with much more ease than they had been before. He hoped
that meant their friendship was on the mend. He’d have to ask Remus about them once the
match was over.
Marlene was just as disinterested in their conversation. Her hand was hidden under the table
and James assumed it was because of Dorcas who was beside her.

Alice and Frank were chatting, their pinkies linked carefully. Alice was deep into some story
and Frank was listening carefully. It made James glance sideways at Lily who still hadn’t
looked up from her breakfast.

He nudged her gently with his foot and she looked up at him, startled.

James smiled hopefully and Lily returned it, though much more forced, before looking back
at her food.

James’ smile fell quickly.

She hadn’t brushed her hair this morning, and she had slight bags. Her food, despite being her
focus the whole morning, was barely touched.

He wondered if it was another letter from Petunia. Lily’s family were very torn about
Petunia's wedding. Petunia didn’t want Lily there, her parents did, and James thought Lily
just wanted to see her sister happy.

“Potter,”

Mary taps his hand from across the table, and nods her head towards the door, “Can we
chat?” she asked, standing up and pulling James away by the arm.

He glanced quickly and forlornly at Lily. She was still sulking over her food, her spoon lying
forgotten on the ridge of her bowl.

He shook his head and focused on Mary, who was leaning her back against the wall, looking
suspicious.

“Alright Mary?” He asked, annoyance tainting his voice. He should be with his team,
prepping them for the match, or with Lily, making sure she was alright.

“Fine,” Mary responded, she pushed herself off the wall, touching James’ arm gently, “Listen
you know I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t think it was important, but Daisy needed me to deliver
you a message,”

James frowned. Joston wasn’t the type to ask others to do her business for her, even if she
didn’t like who she had to talk to. She was persistent and upfront about what she wanted,
never one to hide behind her friends.

“She needs you to throw the match,”

James blanched. Throwing. A. Quidditch. Match.

Throwing! A! Quidditch! Match!

He knew Joston was slimy, he’d hoped she was better than most Slytherin’s, but he’d known
she wasn’t.

“No,” He said scathingly, the word burning off of his tongue. Even the thought of cheating,
of sacrificing his morals, disgusted him.

“James,” Mary pleaded, “I know you think you’re doing the right thing, but Daisy needs this.
She’s not like you. She’s a woman, she’s black, she’s muggleborn, she’s never going to have
the privilege and opportunity you were born with,”

“There are scouts coming to this game,” Mary continued, “She needs to have them notice
her,”

“If she wants them to notice her, she should win. She’s good enough without needing to
resort to cheating,” James insisted. He couldn't believe Joston would do such a thing. It
wasn’t like her, “And to have you do her dirty work for her, is just ridiculous,”

Mary rolled her eyes, “Oh grow up Potter, you know as well as I do, they won’t even glance
her way, if she isn’t ten times the player everyone else is,”

James was fuming. Perhaps it was the ever insistent image of a scarred chest and hands.
Perhaps it was the feeling of soft black hair between his fingers. Perhaps it was the bleak
reminder of Lily’s untouched bowl of porridge. But he couldn’t be bothered to coddle Mary
or Joston.

“I’m sorry Mary, I know it's harder, and I want to help. But you can’t ask this of me. Joston’s
a good player, and I can help get her noticed,”

Mary brightened before James squashed it with his words, “But not like this,”

Mary glared at him, “It's too late for any other way. She’s already in year 7, she won’t get a
shot next year like you will, just-” she cut herself off, dragging a hand through her hair.

James touched her shoulders lightly, aiming for comforting, “I know, but this isn’t the way,”

Mary shoved his hand off of her, “What the hell do you know about what it's like to be
someone like Daisy or me?”

Her eyes were burning with righteous fury, “You don’t. That’s it, point blank period,” She
shoved James and he stumbled into the wall, “You don’t know, and it didn’t matter to me for
a fucking long time but I am tired of fighting,”

“I am tired of being ignored until I’m standing right infront of someone. I am tired of being a
body for people like you to fantasise about. And I am tired of my friend working three times
as hard and being noticed three times less,” She shoved James again, this time harder.

“You’re a shit friend Potter, you are a shitty, shitty friend. I have never asked for extra help, I
have dealt with everything and everyone that's stood in my way and the one time I turn to
you--Daisy turns to you--you screw us over,”
He stared at her blankly for a moment, not sure how to respond. She was right, she was
independent and hard working. She took every quip, insult, slur, or swear with a confident
stride and a fortified heart.

But he simply couldn’t do this for her.

As the silence stretched out, and Mary’s disappointment began to engulf her, James’ own fury
increased.

He opened his mouth to speak, when Mary held up her hand and turned on her heel. The
conversation was over.

He marched to the table where his friends were eating, fury coursing through his veins. He
pushed Lily from his mind and grabbed Sirius’ arm forcefully.

“Get them all to the pitch in less than fifteen,”

Sirius looked up, irreverent, “We haven’t got to play for another hour, tone it down Captain,”

James glared and Sirius’ face went white. James knew he had an intimidating glare, which
was why he barely used it.

“I said, get them down to the pitch, less than fifteen,”

Sirius nodded, swallowing harshly but Remus caught James’ wrist before he could leave.

“You alright?” He asked, “You’re not usually this high strung,”

James ripped his hand from Remus’ grasp, “Fine,” he said flatly, “Just want to win,”

His team didn’t let him down and arrived at the pitch in their uniforms in the time he’d asked
them to. They weren’t able to do any actual practising, so he gathered them in the tent and
drilled their strategies for the next half hour.

His players listened intently, and James' anger began to increase.

George was muggleborn, Jasper was Indian, Alice was a woman. It wouldn’t be fair to them
for James to throw the match, they needed the opportunity as much as Joston.

He looked around the team, they’d all seemed to catch onto his frustration and were feeding
into it. Before he could say some calming words and reassure them as their captain, he heard
the announcer start to call our Slytherin’s names.

“Alright everyone line up! Frank, in front, Sirius cut it out, George, don’t fall off,”

“Aye aye captain!” Came the chorus of voices and James gave them a tight lipped smile,
before zipping out onto the field behind Frank.

The game was bloody.

Fifteen minutes in, one of the Slytherin beaters 'accidentally’ hit Alice’s hand with their bat.
She came back into the game quickly, but her aim was off.

After that, it was like a dam had been let loose. James was lucky Sirius and Marlene were so
good at their jobs. Even he couldn’t avoid all the ones being hit his way.

The score stayed at a stubborn 20-20. James was too preoccupied with making sure his team
was okay to score properly and Alice was injured. Jasper had taken more shots than both of
them combined, and Joston was good enough that it didn’t matter.

Marlene got hit with a bludger in the stomach about a half hour after Alice hurt her hand. She
went down and Hooch insisted she go to the infirmary. That prompted James to call a time-
out.

He wiped his brow and glanced over to where the Slytherin team was huddling. He’d meant
to try and talk to Regulus in this match, but hadn’t gotten the chance.

“What’s happening out there?” Frank demanded, “We’re down one player, and have one
injured chaser,”

“You’re not getting hit with bludgers from every angle,” Sirius snapped, “Mulciber and
Crouch have got a vendetta today or something,”

“Calm down,” James soothed, “We’re tied, and you’re hitting as many as they are,” he took a
breath, “We need to think, we’re just shooting aimlessly and throwing away our points,”

“Alice, when you have an opportunity, don’t take it. Pass to Jasper or I and we’ll score,
you’re overworking that hand. Sirius, defence. We haven’t got Marlene anymore so I need
you to step up. Frank, how many times am I going to need to tell you to watch your left?
George, stay out of it until you see the snitch, and beat Regulus,”

He clapped Sirius’ shoulder and smiled confidently, “I get you’re frustrated, but don’t lose
your cool,”

Hooch blew the whistle and they took their spots on the field again.

The score increased to 50-30 for Gryffindor, with James scoring two and Jasper scoring one.

It didn’t quell the anger of the Slytherin team, and the tension came to a front just after James
scored the fifty point goal.

Regulus dove and James felt his heart sink. George not seeing it first, put him at a
disadvantage. There was a good chance they’d just lost the match.

James grit his teeth, they hadn’t lost yet. If George caught it, or if they got 140 points before
either of them could get it, they would win.

He intercepted a pass, getting control of the quaffle, and shot down to Slytherin’s end of the
field. He could feel a chaser tailing him, and knew Regulus and George were to his right but
paid them no mind.
That was his mistake.

Barty Crouch Junior saw a free bludger and flew towards it, hoping to hit James.

That was Barty’s mistake.

Sirius noticed the chaser tailing James and a second bludger near him, seeing a clear
opportunity, he made the same mistake as Barty. His bat made contact with the bludger with a
loud crack that sent a feeling of unease through James' body.

The chaser who was tailing him, Florence Taylors, heard the crack as well and, knowing the
brutality of the game, ducked swiftly.

That was her mistake,

Regulus saw the snitch, a few feet away from him and shot towards it, focusing solely on the
yellow shine.

That was his mistake.

Another crack sounded out, this one even more sickening than the last, that made James snap
his head towards the noise.

Regulus was falling.

James dropped the quaffle and dove towards the boy.

Time seemed to slow and James was struck with a strange thought.

As Regulus’ quidditch robes billowed out around him, as blood dripped from his head, as his
eyes were closed and his lips were parted, as he fell towards the ground, possibly towards an
ugly death, he looked peaceful.

Regulus didn’t look to be falling at all, he looked in control. He looked like this was exactly
where he wanted to be. He looked like he was flying. Not with a broom, but with the wings
of his robes.

James almost felt bad when his arm snaked around Regulus’ waist, and he pulled them up,
two or three metres from the ground.

Regulus gasped softly when James caught him and his eyes shot open. They seemed bleary
and unfocused, but ultimately, they were Regulus’. The same eyes James stared into for what
felt like hours in the damp dark of the potions classroom.

He touched down, but when he tried to set Regulus on the ground, the boy stumbled into
James’ arms.

“Fuck,” he murmured into James shoulder which made James laugh.

“Let's get you sitting down okay? Yeah just like that,”
Regulus eased down onto the grass, still resting on James’ chest. James had his arm on his
back and was rubbing small circles into it.

“You okay?” James asked softly, examining the injury. It looked pretty bad, and Regulus
definitely wouldn’t be playing in the rest of the match. There was blood rushing down the left
side of his face, it was honestly a miracle he hadn’t passed out.

“Regulus!” Sirius’ voice called out, and James looked up to see him, Joston, Crouch, and
Hooch running towards them.

They crowded him quickly, all asking all sorts of questions and making apologies.

“Alright everyone, out of my way,” Hooch snapped, “Regulus, can you hear me?”

Regulus nodded, he was clutching James’ hand tightly, where it had come to rest on his waist.

“Brilliant,” She pointed to Barty who gave a small wave, “You know who this is?”

Regulus nodded again.

“What is his name Regulus?”

Regulus glanced at Barty, swallowing harshly, “Barty,”

“Brilliant, and who’s right next to you?”

Regulus looked up at James, who smiled fondly in return, “James,” he whispered softly, his
eyes wide.

“Amazing, alright one more question,” She pointed to Sirius, “Who’s he? What's your
relationship?”

Regulus laughed, “That's Sirius, and it depends on who you ask,”

Hooch frowned, pursing her lips, “He’s your brother, you remember that much?”

Regulus laughed again. He had a nice laugh usually, but now it sounded pained, “Don’t tell
my mother you said that, she’d have you drawn and quartered,”

“I think he’s delusional,” Crouch said, his eyebrows creased in worry.

Hooch nodded firmly, “Can you walk Regulus? We need to take you to the infirmary,”

Regulus nodded and James stared at him incredulously.

Hooch raised her eyebrow and looked up at James, “Can he walk?”

“No,” James said, “He nearly passed out when I got him off my broom,”

“Crouch and I can take him,” Joston offered, “The game’s over anyways,”
James frowned, neither George nor Regulus had caught the snitch, which meant they should
still be playing.

Joston caught his frown, “We can’t play without a seeker,” she explained, looking crestfallen.

“Isn’t Taylor’s your spare?” James asked.

“Then we’d be down a chaser,”

James rolled his eyes, “We’ve been down a beater for the past fifteen minutes,”

Regulus made a soft noise of pain and James brought his attention back to him. He’d closed
his eyes tightly and was pressing closer into James.

“Everything alright Sunshine?” He murmured, tucking a lock of hair behind his ear.

“M’fine,” Regulus responded sleepily, “Just tired,”

“Alright,” James set his jaw, and scooped Regulus up, bridal style, “Crouch you come with
me, teams will be even if we both leave and Regulus needs someone to go with him,”

Sirius’ head shot up immediately, “I should go,” He scrambled, “I’m his brother, I should
go,”

James shook his head firmly. He could tell Sirius was upset, but knowing Regulus’ feelings
towards his brother, James didn’t think he’d appreciate the company. When Sirius was upset,
he tended to lash out, hopefully hitting things with a bat would help him calm down.

“Crouch and I will go, we’ll be able to explain what happened to Pomfrey,” He turned to
Joston, “And you’re not calling off the match, play it out,”

The walk to the infirmary was silent besides Regulus’ soft groans every once in a while, and
James gentle soothing. Crouch seemed upset and was walking quickly.

Marlene was lying on her back with Dorcas and Lily at her side when they came in. The three
girls looked up at the boys and Lily’s eyes widened.

“Is that Regulus?” she asked, sitting up straight.

“Yeah,” James put him down on the bed, “Where's Pomfrey?”

“She went to get a potion for Marlene,” Dorcas answered, “What happened?”

Regulus made a noise and James and Crouch dropped to his side.

“Alright Reg?” Barty asked, gently touching his cheek. A wave of something hot rushed
through James at the sight of Regulus smiling fondly at his friend.

“Fine,” Regulus responded, “Just hurts,”

“Then you’re not fine,” Pomfrey exclaimed from the doorway. She bustled into the room,
taking in the sight of the bloody child on the bed, “Tell me what happened this instant Mr.
Potter, Mr. Black is in no condition to speak,”

James cleared his throat, “Sirius accidentally hit him with a bludger in the head, Hooch asked
him questions and he seems to remember everything,”

Pomfrey hummed and handed a vial of something to Lily, “Give this to Ms. McKinnon. Mr.
Potter, get the bandages, you know where they are,” She touched Regulus’ injury gently and
made a gentle soothing noise, “You poor thing, this should have been bandaged right away, I
don’t know why they even let children play that sport,”

James brought the bandages, he’d just grabbed a random amount, not sure how many
Pomfrey would need, but she seemed satisfied.

“Thank you, and some blood replenishing potions as well,”

Ponfrey continued to ask him for his help as she worked and James provided it. Crouch
stayed by Regulus’ side, calming him down while he healed. He finally fell asleep, a few
minutes before the Slytherin team, and Pandora and Rosier, clambered into the room.

The Gryffindor team wasn’t far behind, though they crowded Marlene instead. Even Sirius
hung back, only sneaking glances at Regulus.

Remus, Peter and Mary came in a few minutes later, going straight to Marlene, though
Remus stopped a second to talk to Sirius and squeeze his hand reassuringly.

James smiled, Sirius was lucky to have a friend as great as Remus.

“How is he?” Joston asked the room and James answered.

“Pomfrey’s given him all sorts of potions, says he might have a scar but he’ll be fine,”

“Thanks,” Joston grunted, “You won by the way, your seeker caught the snitch,”

James glanced over his shoulder towards George, who had a very pleased air to him. James
smiled and sent him a thumbs up.

“Has he been sleeping the whole time?” A chaser asked, he was short with hair like Sirius’
that was pulled into a bun at the back of his head. He’d be attractive if it weren’t for his wide,
bug-like eyes.

“Not the whole time,” Crouch answered, “He only fell asleep a couple minutes ago, Pomfrey
didn’t want to drug him anymore then she needed to,”

James slipped away from Regulus’ bedside, reuniting with his team.

Frank clapped him on the back and smiled at him, “How’s Regulus? That looked like it hurt,”
“He’ll live,” James replied, “Pomfrey pumped him full of potions, he should be pretty high
when he wakes up,”

Mary laughed from where she was sitting by Marlene’s bed, “That’ll be a sight, the cool and
stoic Regulus Black, high as a kite,”

James rolled his eyes. He was still a bit angry at Mary, but too tired to sustain it. He took a
breath and smiled at her, he’d never been one to hold a grudge.

People began to file out, until it was just Sirius, Mary, Marlene, Joston, James, Barty, and
Regulus.

Sirius walked over to his brother's side tentatively, reaching out slowly, just to touch his hand.

Mary tilted her head at the cot, “He looks surprisingly peaceful for someone who just got
clocked by a bludger,”

Barty made a small noise of acknowledgement but didn’t lift his gaze from Regulus’ face.
He’d been clutching onto Regulus’ hand since they’d gotten there.

Joston gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder and left a book on Regulus’ bedside, before
waving goodbye to James and Sirius.

Sirius had sat down next to Regulus and adopted a similar expression to Barty. Worry, guilt,
and fear.

As Joston was leaving, James caught her wrist. He wasn’t angry anymore, but he did want to
ask her what was going through her mind.

“What is it Potter?”

“Did you really want me to throw the match, or were you just seeing if I’d do it?”

Joston blinked at him, then narrowed her gaze and ripped her hand from James’ grasp, “I
have no idea what you’re talking about,” she said cooly, turning on her heel and leaving.

James sighed and went back to Regulus. He touched Sirius’ shoulder gently, “You alright?”

Sirius nodded, not looking u at James, and James tok a seat next to him, “It’s not your fault
you know,”

“I know,”

“It's not yours either,” he added, talking to Crouch.

The boy shrugged, “it's my job to keep shit like this from happening,”

“Yeah and it's my job to score points but I got two,” Crouch looked up at him now, he seemed
vulnerable, which was a strange shade on his face to James.
“It's my fault for not being aware, it's George’s fault for not being ahead, it’s Taylors fault for
dodging, it's Bowman Wright's fault for making the snitch in the first place,. There’s lots of
blame to go around,”

Barty stared at him for a moment before nodding and muttering a thank you.

LILY

Gryffindor parties were always loud and full of alcohol.

Lily, as a prefect, should be taking away spiked punch instead of encouraging it, but Marlene
and Peter seemed to be having fun so she figured she could let it slide just this once.

Dorcas threw a drunken arm over her shoulder, “I’m in love Evans,” she slurred, “I’m so in
love it pains me,”

“I’m sure you are now get off of me,”

Lily detangled herself from Dorcass and slipped away. She wasn’t in the mood to talk about
love.

All that had been on her mind recently was love.

Love, Regulus, and James.

Regulus was sharp. In his wits, figure, face, and walls. He’d built something impenetrable
around him that Lily rarely got to glimpse through. But when she did, it was overwhelming
how it made her feel.

She felt powerful, seen, and above all else, loved.

But she couldn’t just say she was in love with Regulus and be done with it, because there was
James.

James was smooth. He spoke smoothly, he smiled smoothly, he touched her smoothly. The
feel of his hand on her waist, of his lips pressed against hers. The burn of fingers dancing
across her skin.

James was so different from Regulus. He only touched her when he painted her, and it felt
distant (but no less tantalising). James was gentle and bold and heartfelt and wonderful and
decidedly not enough.

She wanted him to be enough, he should be enough. She wanted to be able to push aside
Regulus and focus on James, and how James made her feel because it was like nothing else
and she didn’t want to lose that. She didn’t want to lose him.

But she couldn’t even look at him without this horrible pit of guilt forming in her stomach.

Ever since wednesday, she’d tried and tried. But the shame followed her, filling her throat
and lungs with taunts and teases.
The shame reassured her. It reminded her what needed to be done.

James was sitting with Remus and Pandora on the sofa, he hadn’t had much to drink and had
only come from the infirmary an hour or so ago.

Pandora seemed to be telling a story, when James looked over to Lily and smiled. Lily
returned it, but quickly looked back at her cup, praying he wouldn't come over.

“Hello Evans, fancy seeing you here,”

There was a reason Lily didn’t believe in god.

She looked up at James, and despite her mood and the task she had ahead of her looming in
the distance, she smiled at him. A genuine smile as well. You couldn’t not smile when it was
James.

“It is a rarity, I don’t often come to parties,”

James snorted, “you’re not fooling me with that perfect prefect routine, I’ve seen you down a
keg faster than Pete,”

Peter being an expert drinker had surprised all of the marauders. He rarely got drunk, and got
hungover even less.

“God you make me sound like an alcoholic,”

“Well you do smoke,”

Lily rolled her eyes, “Only during exams, or if Tuney's being difficult,”

James tutted, “You know it's bad for your lungs right?”

“Haven’t wizards got some sort of cure for that?”

James shrugged, “Probably, but its still not good for you,”

Lily smiled, feeling the pack of cigarettes in her back pocket. She really didn’t smoke all that
much, Sirius and Remus were worse, but it was enough to earn herself james’ patented stare
of disapproval every once in a while.

For a muggle studies class, he’d done an entire presentation on the effects of drugs and
cigarettes on peoples respiratory systems. It was probably the first time Lily had started to
fall for him.

Lily’s face fell and James noticed.

“You alright love?” He asked, concern clouding his features, “You’ve been strange,”

Lily looked up at him. Taking in all of him for as long as she could, then shook her head,
“Can we go upstairs?”
James nodded and Lily led them to their balcony. She’d taken to calling it that, because they
were the only ones who really used it.

Lily gazed out, it was cloudy tonight, and she couldn’t see any stars. She was the faint light
of the moon peeking out from behind a cloud, but besides that, it was dark.

She was glad for that, remembering how James spoke of their star. She should really figure
out its name. Though, now that this was happening, she supposed it wouldn’t matter its name.

James nudged her gently, “What's happening?”

His smile didn’t reach his worried eyes. They killed Lily’s hopes that he might feel similarly.

“James I-” She stopped, running her hand through her hair and sighing. She’d known it
would be hard, “There's something I need to tell you, and- god James I’m so sorry- I can’t do
this,”

She exhaled harshly, hiding her face in her hands.

“That’s alright, take your time,” James reassured her, he had a hand resting on her back and
another on her arm.

His touch. How did it undo her so much? How did a hand on her back, something she’d felt
so many different times from so many different people, destroy her? How did it crumble her
defences, melt her shame, until it was just them, and the way they loved each other.

“I can’t do this to you James,” he’d taken her defences down and opened a flood of emotions
and truth.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. You deserve someone who can give you everything, and James, I
want to. Please you have to believe that I want to, but for some god awful reason I can’t,”

Confusion began to form on James' features but he didn’t remove his hand from her back, he
kept rubbing comforting circles, even reaching up to her cheek to wipe away tears Lily hadn’t
realised were falling.

“I love you, I love you so much, but- I love someone else as well and its killing me to do this
to you. I can’t James, I love and I wish I could just forget about him but I’ve been trying and
I can’t,” She sobbed, “I’m sorry james, I’m sorry, I love you and I’m sorry, I’m not enough,
you’re so perfect, I’m so sorry,”

She was well aware of the redundancy, but she didn’t know what else to say. She felt useless.

She cried harshly into James’ shoulders, he’d pulled her close and she should push him away
because she was breaking up with him before even properly dating him, but he felt so
comforting and warm.

James took her to her room, and helped her get changed as she cried. Eventually she calmed
down and managed to look at him.
He seemed… fine.

This didn’t make any sense. Lily had broken up with him, but she was the one crying.

He knelt down in front of her, handing her a glass of water, “Drink this, you’re probably
dehydrated,”

Lily accepted it wordlessly, and downed the glass. James sat next to her, and she looked at
him once she finished.

“James,” she croaked out, “Why aren’t you mad?”

James frowned, “Why would I be mad?”

Lily shrugged, rolling the cup in her hand. It had pretty designs along the rim and looked
expensive. She was pretty certain it was Marlene’s toothbrush cup.

“Well I’m not mad, a bit sad, but I’ve fancied you while you haven’t felt the same for six
years now,” he grinned, “I’m used to rejection Lily, and don’t think I’m not going to try my
absolute hardest to win you back from this guy,”

Lily laughed wetly, rubbing her eye gently, “You’re perfect James Potter, I don’t think I’ll
ever do better than you,”

James stood up, taking the glass and returning it to the washroom, “You alright to stay up
here on your own? I’m afraid if I leave Padfoot alone for too long he’ll bother Pomfrey
again,”

Lily nodded and James made his way towards the door before pausing, “Can I ask who it is?”

Lily thought about it for a moment, then nodded. He deserved that much, “Regulus,”

James let out a relieved sigh, “Thank Merlin I thought it was Snivellus,” He glanced at her
over his shoulder and winked, “Apart from him, you haven’t got bad taste,”

Lily smiled and he closed the door gently. She fell asleep quickly, but it wasn’t an easy rest.

SIRIUS

James had told him to leave Pomfrey alone but he just couldn’t.

He remembered how Regulus would sneak into his room during a thunderstorm and though it
wasn’t thundering, Sirius couldn’t stand the thought of his little brother alone.

He slipped through the door with James’ invisibility cloak, something he had done plenty of
times for Moony. Having a werewolf for a best friend (boyfriend?) had actually helped Sirius
much more than he’d expected.

Regulus looked mostly the same as he had when Sirius and Crouch had left earlier that
evening.
He had new bandages on, but besides that, he hadn’t changed. His hair may have been a bit
messier, which Sirius was sure their mother would hate, but his eyes were still shut. Seeming
at peace.

He looked too pale in Sirius’ opinion, but that was just Regulus. He’d been pale as snow
since he’d popped out of their mother.

Sirius folded the invisibility cloak and placed it on Regulus’ bedside table. He’d taken the
map as well, so no one could find him, though he suspected James would figure it out easily.

The chair scraped loudly against the floor and Sirius winced at the noise. Regulus' eyes had
fluttered slightly but he looked to still be asleep so SIrius sat down as quietly as possible.

He sometimes forgot how young Regulus was.

Five years ago, Regulus had been sobbing because Sirius was leaving him alone while he
went to school. Sirius knew he didn’t cry when he left for the last time.

No, he didn’t know that. He couldn’t be sure.

Recently, after a conversation with Remus, Sirius had realised he didn’t know anything about
his little brother.

Remus had been telling him about their rounds together at Sirius’ request, and he was so
different from how Sirius had hoped he’d be.

Apparently, he painted, and talked about muggle technology with Pandora. He liked cats, and
was bad at gift giving so he’d started buying everything in october.

He wasn’t like their parents at all, but he wasn’t like Sirius either. He was exactly how Sirius
had wanted him to be, but prayed he wasn’t. If Regulus was how he was, that meant he was
good. Good, considerate, and Sirius’ little brother.

Sirius reached over to brush a lock of hair away from Regulus’ forehead. He’d always loved
how curly his brother’s hair was, been a bit jealous of it even.

Regulus really did look like a child, and Sirius knew when he was asleep, or passed out from
drugs, he’d look the exact same way.

As he reached his hand back from Regulus’ face, he knocked his wand off of his lap where it
landed on the stone floors with a loud clatter.

He swore under his breath and moved to pick it up, which caused his chair to scrape against
the floors, making a screeching noise.

“Shit!” He whispered, grabbing his wand and checking to make sure Regulus was still asleep.
When he looked, he was met by bleary, open, grey, eyes.

“Sirius?” Regulus muttered, the name tumbling off his tongue.

Sirius smiled sheepishly, “oui, petit frère,”

Regulus sighed softly, “What are you doing here?”

“Can’t I try to spend some time with my little brother?”

“Ambushing me when I can’t walk away I see,”

“Moony gave me the idea,”

Regulus laughed, then started to cough. Sirius moved to help him, but Regulus waved him
away.

“Alright Reg?”

“Fine,” He coughed again, “One of the potions Pomfrey gave me gives me a sore throat,”

“How are you feeling?”

Regulus shrugged, “Fuzzy, honest, not in pain, which is refreshing,”

Sirius raised an eyebrow, “Honest?”

“Yeah, feels like I’m drunk, which means I probably shouldn’t be around you,” he’d thrown
an arm over his eyes, but peeked out at Sirius as he spoke.

“Why not?”

“Because we lie to each other too much,”

Sirius didn’t answer. It was true, they did lie to each other. They said that they didn’t care,
that they hated each other. Sirius told Regulus he was a coward and Regulus told him he was
an idiot. Sirius knew he wasn’t an idiot and Regulus was probably the bravest person he’d
ever met.

Regulus stayed in that house, with their family, and Sirius knew it was for his sake. He’d
known for so long and he’d let it happen because he was selfish.

Maybe the hat should have put him in Slytherin and Regulus in Gryffindor.

“I don’t want to lie to you Reg,” He said softly, touching Regulus’ forehead gently again.

Regulus turned away, “It's easier if we do,”

“I don’t like things being easy,”

“I do,” he said sharply, glaring at Sirius. It made him smile.

“Then I’ll do the hard part, you just sit back and let me fix things,”
 Regulus’ frown lessened, but not into a smile. It was more of a gentle acceptance, “You can’t
fix things Aîné. I don’t think we were meant to be fixed,”

Sirius tightened his jaw. Moony had told him this would happen, that Regulus would push
back but he had to keep at it.

“I don’t care-” he insisted, “what is meant to happen. You’re my brother, and I’m going to fix
what I fucked up,”

Regulus shook his head, “You didn’t fuck it up Sirius,”

“I did,”

“We did,”

They looked at eachother, seeing each other simultaneously for the first time in what felt like
years.

Chapter End Notes

really quick french translation

petit frere- little brother

oh my gosh i feel like I haven't updated in forver I'm so sorry.

Everyone please give a ginormous thank you to my beloved bestie and beta Claire
because without her this chapter would have come out much later because i had the
worst writers block. so THANK YOU CLAIRE

I'm think this might be done before may? maybe april if we're lucky?

ALSO 100000 WORDS!!!!!

Thank you so much for all the support on this its been so amazing, i truly didn't expect
any attention, this is insane so thank you so much, you're all so amazing.
The fact that you take time out of your day to read my writing is just crazy thank you so
much
 The Mind Opening Consequences of Music
Chapter Summary

dancing and conversation.

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

REGULUS

Regulus wrote four letters once he returned to his dorm after the bludger hit him.

The first was to his mother. He wished her well, and promised to write while she was in
France, though they would both know that was a lie. Regulus never wrote first, it was always
a response when it came to him.

The second was to Narcissa. He assured her he was well, asked her about herself and her
husband, He thanked her for considering letting him stay with him but declined the offer of
staying with Bella.

The third letter was to Bellatrix and was short. It was no more than a few sentences, asking
her how she was, and telling her that Narcissa had offered that he stay with her during the
holidays but he was declining. He knew he wouldn’t get a letter back, but prefered it that
way.

The fourth letter was frightening to write. He started it on Sunday and still hadn’t finished it
when he arrived, late, for his tutoring session with James, Monday. It was addressed to
Andromeda.

He’d gotten wrapped up in helping Barty, who was now on speaking terms with Joston, but
she was still being snippy with him. Barty was trying to get back on her good side and had
enlisted Regulus’ help. Regulus agreed, mostly because it meant Joston would stop asking
him things.

She’d somewhat relented on her interrogations of him since he’d gotten angry at her on
Wednesday and taken a bludger to the head on Saturday, but his grace period was running
out. He didn’t like upsetting Joston, but if he was going to keep himself from spilling
anything else, he’d have to.

He’d already fucked up with Sirius. When he’d been high off his mind because Pomfrey had
been pumping him full of potions, they’d had a civil conversation.

They weren’t supposed to have conversations, and certainly not civil ones.
“Sorry for being late,” Regulus said, tossing his bag on a chair and sitting across from James.

The other boy had some strange contraption next to him. A wooden box-like thing, with a
black disc on top of it.

“Mr, Early is on time, on time is late, showing up a full two minutes late? So bad, sunshine,”
James teased, a mischievous glint in his eye.

Regulus glared at him, “Shut up Potter, I was being charitable,”

“Oh?”

“Yes, a friend needed help, I offered it. You should applaud me as a good samaritan,”

“Yeah? Which friend were you helping?”

“Barty?”

“Crouch?”

Regulus rolled his eyes, “No Brown, Yes of course Crouch,”

James switched seats to sit directly to Regulus’ right. Regulus had pulled out his notes and
had been planning to review them with James. It made sense that James would sit there. Next
to him. Close to him.

“He was very worried about you, Crouch I mean,”

Regulus forced himself to focus on his notes and turned a page, despite not having finished
reading it, “I’m sure,” He responded dryly, “He must have been waiting anxiously at my
sickbed,”

He liked his friends, but he wasn’t foolish enough to believe they’d worried about him.

He knew what he was to Barty and Evan. He was Evan’s way of securing his family’s
importance, and Barty’s way of rebelling against his father.

In fact, he was very aware of his relationship with all of his friends. He was Pandora’s
project, Joston’s ticket to Quidditch fame, and Elizabeth's entertainment. Perhaps his only
true friends were house elves, which some might say was sad, but Regulus found preferable.

“He was,” James said, leaning into Regulus and putting a finger on a page of Regulus’ notes,
“What’s this?”

Regulus looked where he was pointing, “Scintillation Solution? It's a wit sharpening potion,”
Regulus smirked, “Perhaps I should teach you how to brew it, it would certainly help,”

James grinned, “Yeah? Remember who helped you with that Animagus essay,”
Regulus laughed, “I fell asleep while writing that, and McGonagall commented on the grease
stains,”

“Not the grease!”

“Yes, the grease!” Regulus smiled at him, astutely aware of their thighs pressed against each
other, their pinkies brushing slightly, “She was furious,”

“I’ll bet, Minnie’s a stickler for clean work,”

Regulus laughed again, but it fell easily.

James was looking at him.

Not looking.

Admiring.

Regulus felt his mouth dry up.

He’d never been one for appearances. Of course he recognized when people were attractive,
but had never cared much.

Barty, for example. He was athletic, took good care of his hair, he’d even developed a
skincare routine in his fourth year. Girls liked him, Regulus had never understood the appeal.

James was different.

Tanned, slightly scarred, smirking, immortalising.

His eyes were trained on Regulus’, studying him. His hair fell across his forehead, and he
looked beautiful.

There were plenty of other words for it, but beautiful was enough for Regulus.

“Can we brew the solution?”

Regulus blinked, “What?”

James grinned, “The Scintillation Solution. I’d like to try it,”

Regulus stared at him for a moment and James looked back expectantly.

“Sunshine?”

Regulus should say something.

“You alright?”

James was beautiful. He didn’t know how sunlight was hitting James, as they were in the
dungeons, but it was. And it made him look gorgeous.
James took his hand, and brushed some hair out of Regulus’ eyes, “Is this another moment
like what happened with the piano?”

Regulus made a soft noise at the touch, he wasn’t used to this. To people looking at him.

James was rubbing small circles into the back of Regulus’ hand, concern clouding his
features, “Sunshine?,” He waved a hand in Regulus’ face, “Anyone home?”

Regulus watched his hand pass in front of his face, again and again, like a pendulum.

“Yes!” He yelped, his voice jumping an octave. He snatched his hand away from James,
“Sorry! I-”

He stared, flushed at James, trying to steady his breathing.

James grinned, “There you are, I was worried you’d died or something,”

Regulus forced himself to answer, “How could I have died?”

“Maybe you finally realised how devilishly handsome I am and faced your demise from the
shock of being wrong?”

Regulus glared at him. How he’d fallen so destructively in love with James, he had no idea.

“So can we learn this one?” James asked, pointing to the recipe in Regulus’ notes.

Regulus nodded and instructed James to make a space for them. He got most of the
ingredients from the shelves, but had to grab a couple from Slughorn’s personal cellar.

“Aren't we not supposed to go in there?” James asked, as Regulus emerged triumphant from
the cellar with a few vials in his hands.

“Not technically, but what's he going to do about it?” Regulus set up their station, organising
the ingredients in the order they’d need them, “Slughorn would kiss my boots if it got him in
favour with my parents,”

James laughed and Regulus felt a bit proud, a smile hinting his features. He liked making
James laugh.

They worked well together, and Regulus even began to forget about the things that were
worrying him. It was rare for that to happen, but easy when James was there.

Regulus was crushing a newt tongue when he heard a soft melody come from behind him.

He turned around to see James fiddling with the wooden box that had been there when
Regulus had arrived.

“What are you doing?”

James looked up at him, smiling, “Playing music, thought we could use some,”
Regulus put down his pestle and made his way over cautiously to the box. The singer was a
woman, and there was a gentle guitar strum in the back, maybe some strings as well.

“Who’s Jolene? Is she singing?”

James laughed, “No Dolly Parton is singing about Jolene, she’s jealous of her,”

Regulus listened to the music, he didn’t think she sounded jealous, desperate maybe, but not
jealous.

Regulus gestured to the box, “What is that?” He thought he might have seen something like it
before, probably in Sirius’ room but couldn’t remember the name.

“A record player,” James answered, “The big disc is a record and the needle makes it play
music. I can’t understand the whole thing behind it, too muggle for my brain to wrap
around,”

He didn’t sound judgmental when he said that. Not like Regulus’ parents might have said it.
He sounded in awe of the technology, instead of disgusted by it.

A new song was playing now, with a man and a woman singing. It sounded like a love song.

Regulus did find it easier to work with the music playing. However, James was becoming
increasingly distracting with the addition.

Regulus had been trying to ignore him, because he was dating Lily now and decidedly not
interested in Regulus, but when he looked, laughed, and lived like he did, it was hard.

James danced as he cut and stirred. He mouthed the words to the song and when no one was
singing, he’d mime the instruments.When he played the boy, he’d look one way and when he
played the girl he looked the other. He made it into a performance, one Regulus couldn’t drag
his eyes from.

Once the song had begun to fade out, Regulus had abandoned his newt’s tongue in favour of
laughing and even tapping his foot to the beat,

The new song made James up his performance. He mimicked the singer's high voice, and
pretended like he was playing the piano and guitar.

Regulus began to lose track of time, and the songs meshed together.

They listened to one about the sea as they mixed together water, mustard seeds, and essence
of gillyflower. James even grabbed Regulus' hands during that one, spinning him and making
him laugh.

A woman was singing about killing and songs while Regulus debarked a short stick from an
oak tree. James didn’t exactly dance to that one, more swayed because it was softer, smoother
even. James told him it was jazz, but Regulus hadn’t heard the word before.
“We’re almost done right?” James asked, scraping some shells into the cauldron. The song
changed again, he didn’t know this one either, but as it played on, he realised it was in a
different language.

Regulus raised an eyebrow at James “Is this Japanese?”

James beamed at the record. His cutting board clattered on the table and he bounded over to
Regulus taking his hands in his own, “It is! This is one of my favourites,”

Regulus looked at where their hands connected, “Wonderful, now let go,”

“No!” James exclaimed gleefully, “You have to dance with me for this one, you haven’t
danced at all,”

He pulled Regulus away from the table, mouthing the chorus as they moved.

“Do you know Japanese?”

James shook his head, “I just listen to this song far too much I have no clue what I’m
saying,”

Regulus laughed, allowing James to move his arms with the music. He shuffled his feet
awkwardly to the beat as best he could, but he’d never been good at dancing if it wasn’t
classical.

James made it easy for him. He held Regulus by the hand, spinning him in time with the
music.

“We should finish the potion,” Regulu said through laughs, pulling his hands away from
James’ and covering his smile.

James just stepped towards him, grabbing wrists to sway his arms in time with the beat.

“I mean it James!” Regulus laughed again, pulling away and heading towards the cauldron.
James caught his shoulders, hugging him from behind.

“Forget about the potion,” James whispered, resting his chin on Regulus’ shoulder and
wrapping his arms around his waist, “Help me forget about everything, focus on me,”

Regulus breathed in sharply, leaning his head back just a bit, so it came to rest on James’
shoulder. He didn’t know what James wanted to forget, and knew it was selfish of him to
enable it, but merlin this was nice.

The song was ending, fading out into a soft guitar.

The next song was gentle, and a man was singing it.

Regulus turned around, James still had his hands around his waist and Regulus rested his
hands on his chest, steadying himself, “What's this song?”
“Blackbird, pretty isn’t it?” When he said the last part, he gazed down at Regulus, his eyes
darting down to Regulus’ lips.

Regulus nodded. He wondered if James had ever thought about Regulus the way Regulus
thought about him. If he spent nights, lying awake, imagining what the weight of Regulus’
body would feel like next to him. Imagining what it would be like to wake up wrapped in
each other’s warmth.

He couldn’t have. James had spent his entire life loving Lily.

Regulus’ eyes widened.

Lily.

He stepped back, ignoring that as soon as they weren’t touching, Regulus missed the feeling.

James looked surprised at Regulus’ sudden movement, catching his wrist, “You alright?”

“Fine,” Regulus said quickly, “Just the potion, we can’t leave it,”

James smiled sheepishly, “Sorry sunshine, you’re too much of a distraction,”

Regulus turned around as quickly as he could, so James wouldn’t catch his blush.

JAMES

For the first time since Lily had broken up with him on Saturday, James felt good.

Strangely enough, it was entirely because of Regulus.

He’d expected to see him in Transfiguration today and feel a primal competitiveness. Feel
intimidated, or want to puff his chest up and glare.

He’d just felt fond.

He’d felt the exact same way in their potions class, and then when they’d had tutoring, James
had felt something different.

It was like fond but stronger. He couldn’t place his finger on the word.

“Evening Potter!” Pandora exclaimed, rounding the corner with her silver prefect badge
gleaming on her robes. James waved back cheerfully.

“Evening Pandora, how was your day?”

“If I’m to be honest, it was rather boring,”

James frowned, “Really? I assume you’ve never had a boring day in your life,” Pandora was
a genius with a fascinating mind. She found interest in the smallest things.
Pandora laughed, “On the contrary, most days are boring when you have a mind like mine,”
She shrugged, “Things don’t tend to live up to my expectations,”

James grinned, leading her through the corridors, “Have I lived up to your expectations?”

“Not in the slightest,” She answered easily, then smiled crookedly up at him, “In a good way
though,”

“That seems to be a theme with me, people always assume I’m a dick,” They rounded a
corner, “Wonder what it is about me?”

“You’re confident,” Pandora said matter of factly, “People, myself included, mistake
confidence and cockiness,”

“The pranks probably don’t help either,”

Pandora laughed, “No I don’t imagine they do. Though I must admit, being included in one
was rather thrilling,”

James had forgotten Remus had enlisted Pandora’s help with their Halloween prank. From
what he understood, Ravenclaw had been the only place where no students had been affected.
Perhaps they should enlist other people’s help more often, especially Ravenclaws.

They usually only asked the girls for help and Lily was usually reluctant.

James' smile fell. He was thinking of her again. He’d managed to forget about all of it when
he was with Regulus, but now she was back.

“I’ve always wondered how you come up with them,” She mused, tucking a lock of hair
behind her ear, “I must appreciate the cleverness and creativity behind them,”

James felt a surge of pride, it was rare people appreciated the work that went into their
pranks. Lily had, but only after a few years, “Moony comes up with them usually, at least the
more complicated ones. He’s the brain. Sirius and I are the brawn, and Peter’s the sacrificial
lamb,”

Pandora laughed, “that seems mean,”

“Nah he doesn’t mind,” James reassured her, “He’s just happy he doesn’t have to get his
hands dirty. Pete gets nervous,”

Pandora hummed thoughtfully, “I never would have thought Remus would have been the
mastermind. I always thought he was the most sensible,”

James chuckled, “Everyone does. But no. He’s a little shit when he wants to be, he’s just a
good liar along with it,”

Talking with Pandora was easy. He hadn’t expected to get along with her as well as he did,
but after spending hours and hours with her, playing as she painted, they’d reached an easy
rhythm.
Talking with Lily had been easy as well. It still was to be honest. They’d easily fallen back
into their friendly rhythm and James had gone back to pretending like it didn’t hurt him to
simply be around her.

It hurt even more now that he knew she loved him, just not enough, not more.

“I like Remus,” Pandora said, her voice taking on a thoughtful tone, “He’s very kind, he
never calls me names,”

James raised an eyebrow, “Do people call you names?”

“Oh not to my face, but I’m sure you’ve heard about some of the rumours that surround me,”

James shook his head. He stopped listening to gossip in his third year, when someone came
up with the idea that Peter was blackmailing them into hanging around with him. He’d had to
comfort the other boy all night.

He knew Lily didn’t listen to it either. She thought it was childish to participate in rumours.

“Really? Well, there's lots. Some people think I tried to poison the school, though that was
not on purpose. Some people think I keep an illegal dragon in my dorm. Lots of people think
Regulus and I are dating,”

James stopped in his tracks, grabbing Pandora by the wrist, “Are you?” He didn’t know why
it mattered to him. He was probably just feeling protective.

Pandora laughed, “Of course not! Regulus and I could never date, he’s far too clingy,”

James frowned, “I never thought of him as clingy,”

“Oh he’ll never admit it,” Pandora waved her wand haphazardly, wisps of smoke emitting
from the tip, “But he does love a good hug or cuddle,” She glanced up at him and winked,
“He sleeps all curled up, hugging himself. He even buries himself in pillows, I think he
pretends they’re people,”

James smiled. He remembered when Regulus had slept in his bed, he had curled up into a
small ball. James remembered thinking it was adorable.

“But I’m not interested in him, not in the slightest,”

They stopped in front of a large window and Pandora hopped up onto the sill. The smoke
she’d been making had started to make shapes, one took the form of a bunny and hopped
onto James’ shoulder.

“Are you interested in anyone?” James asked teasingly, tickling the nose of the bunny. He
wasn’t expecting an answer, but Pandora blushed and shook her head which made James
grin.

“Oh I don’t believe that for a second Dora, come on who is it?”
“No one!” Pandora insisted, covering her face with her hands. The bunny hopped off of
James’ shoulder and nuzzled into Pandora’s neck.

He shoulder up next to her, nudging her gently, “I won’t tell anyone, swear it,”

He didn’t know why he was pushing the subject. He didn’t want to talk about love right now.

Love was synonymous with Lily. When he spoke about one, the other would come to mind,
they were interchangeable and inseparable. According to Remus, he should try and avoid
thinking about her. Then again Remus’ solution to everything tended to be avoidance.

Maybe it would do him some good to talk about things, maybe he’d start to associate love
with something else.

Pandora stared at him, a suspicious look in her eyes, “I shouldn’t tell you, you don’t seem
like you’re good at keeping secrets,”

James laughed at the sheer wrongness of it. He was the world's best secret keeper, except for
maybe Peter. Peter was great at keeping secrets, but James wasn’t bad either.

He kept Sirius’ secrets about his family. He kept Peter’s secrets about his girlfriend in fourth
year. He kept Remus’ secret about loving Sirius. He kept Remus’ secret about being a
werewolf. He kept Remus’ secret about his mother.

Come to think of it, he kept a lot of Remus’ secrets.

“Trust me Dora, I’m brilliant at keeping secrets, ask anyone,”

Pandora thought about it for a moment, a bird appearing in the smoke she’d created. She
glanced at him, then nodded slowly, “You can’t tell anyone, I mean anyone. I haven’t even
talked to Lucy about this,”

James smiled at the nickname, but nodded, extending his pinky for Pandora to link, “Pinky
promise I won’t,” He grinned, “Remus taught me this, it's a muggle promise, isn’t it cool?”

Pandora smiled amd linked her finger, “it’s very cool James,” She looked around them, then
took a breath, “Its Xenophilius,”

James blinked. He didn’t know who that was.

Pandora looked up at him, insecurity lacing her features, “Are you judging me? I know he’s
not exactly jaw-dropping, but he’s very interesting I swear,”

James smiled at her apologetically, “I hate to break this to you Dora, I don’t know who that
it,”

Pandora exhaled, relieved, “Oh brilliant that makes this so much easier,” She grinned at him,
“Philly’s a ravenclaw prefect, like me. He was a Malfoy, but he was disowned so now he’s
just Xenophilius. He doesn’t do particularly well in school, but he really is brilliant, and good
with magical creatures,”
 They started walking again as Pandora regaled him with stories of Xenophilius.

He tried to listen, he really did. He cared about Pandora and wanted to hear about someone
she cared about.

But when she spoke about how fuzzy he made her feel when he asked her questions about her
work, he couldn’t help but let his mind wander.

To red hair and green eyes that smiled when threatened with adversity. To supple curves that
felt so nice under his fingers. To round chubby cheeks dotted with faint freckles. To gleeful
grins and a nose that went pink in the cold. To scarred hands and collarbones. To curly black
hair that felt soft under his fingers.

James stopped in his tracks, the image of Regulus flashing in his mind.

“James are you alright? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Pandora asked, touching his arm
gently.

James glanced at her. Why would he be thinking about Regulus while Pandora reflected on
love? Why would he make the transition from thinking about Lily to Regulus so easily. Why
hadn’t he noticed he was thinking of a different person?

“I’m fine,” He croaked out. He didn’t understand. It must be because Lily loved him right? It
was influencing James’ thoughts. He couldn’t be in love with Regulus.

He thought of his fixation on Regulus’ hands. The soft thoughts he’d been thinking about
him. How he'd looked when they were dancing together. How hot James had felt when they
were pressed up against each other. How beautiful Regulus had looked. The feeling of
Regulus’ hips on his, his head on James’ chest. Of Regulus’ lips pressed against his. Of his
scars, his eyes, his hands.

The piano in the Come and Go room with keys made of ivory.

James was in love with Regulus.

He should talk to Lily.

Chapter End Notes

the songs in this chapter in case you were wondering

- Jolene by Dolly Parton
- Don't go Breaking my Heart by Elton John and Kiki Dee
- Bennie and the Jets by Elton John
- Brandy, You're a Fine Girl by Looking Glass
- Killing me Softly with his Song by Roberta Flack
- Mayonaka no Door/ Stay With Me by Miki Matsubara (this song actually came out in
1978 but I love it so shhhh)
- Blackbird by The Beatles

I've been rewatching seasons 1-4 of Game of Thrones, please forgive me if it has
influenced my writers voice at all it was such a great show

This one is actually a bit shorter than usual I'M SORRY!!!! Also I hope I'm not rushing
things??? Do let me know if anything is going too fast and forgive the typos im so bad at
proof reading

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH THANK
YOU AHHHHH
 the Satisfying Consequences of Communication
Chapter Summary

Dorlene and Wolfstar, maybe a bit of pandora

Chapter Notes

im so sorry there's like no Jegulily in this one

See the end of the chapter for more notes

DORCAS

Marlene had been avoiding her since the match on saturday and Dorcas couldn’t figure out
why.

Usually she liked to milk getting hurt. She’d amp it up for attention and cuddles which
Dorcas indulged without question. This time she tried to convince Dorcas she was fine every
time Dorcas even mentioned her fall.

Her worries about Lily hadn’t been soothed either.

She was still disappearing at night and now she’d broken up with James. Dorcas knew she
loved him, it was obvious to anyone who spent longer than a minute with them together; she
couldn’t figure out why Lily had called it quits.

Mary had been worrying her as well. She’d gotten into an argument with Joston which had
put her in a bad mood.

Remus was the only one of Dorcas’ close friends who was happy. A certain spring had
infested his step making him annoyingly positive.

Dorcas sighed and tried to focus on what Professor Sprout was saying. She was teaching
them about the magical properties of mistletoe.

According to Sprout, it would appear over people's heads if they displayed true love. Some
myths believed mistletoe was only for people who were truly in love.

Dorcas glanced over at Marlene, who was scratching something into the table, not paying
attention in the slightest. Dorcas smiled fondly at her furrowed brow and resolved to speak
with her after class.
She didn’t get the chance to approach her because as soon as Sprout dismissed them, Marlene
was out of the doors, rushing to her next class, which Dorcas was not in.

She finally managed to corner her after supper, and dragged her upstairs to Dorcas’ dorm.

She was actually quite happy they didn’t share a room. Dorcas appreciated her space and did
not agree with Marlene’s uncleanly habits. When they moved in together after school, Dorcas
would have to rectify that.

Dorcas felt her face heat up, grateful it didn’t show. She’d thought “when” instead of “if”.
Staying with Marlene seemed like such a defined thing, it frightened Dorcas she might be
losing it.

That had been what she was afraid of. That Marlene was avoiding her because she’d gotten
tired of her, because she didn’t have the heart to break Dorcas’.

Dorcas dragged Marlene by the wrist into the room, launched her towards her bed, slammed
the door behind them, then turned to face Marlene, a glare on her face.

Marlene, at the very least, had the decency to appear guilty.

“Judging by the look on your face you know why we’re here?” Dorcas asked, crossing her
arms in front of her chest.

“I don’t suppose it's for a nice cuddle and cup of cocoa?” Marlene joked feebly.

Dorcas suppressed the small smile that threatened to ruin her angry exterior. God, she was so
in love it hurt.

“It could have been, if you hadn’t been so strange recently,” Dorcas uncrossed her arms and
softened her gaze, kneeling down in front of Mrlene and forcing her to meet her gaze,
“What’s going on love? Tell me, please, it hurts more to be wondering,”

Marlene looked at her, chewing her bottom lip anxiously. She responded well to Dorcas’
hand on hers, lacing their fingers and dragging her thumb across the side of Dorcas’.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled, “I didn’t mean to worry you,” She stood up, pulling Dorcas up
with her. Marlene led them to the bed and lay down on it, gesturing for Dorcas to come in
next to her. Dorcas obliged, tangling their legs and brushing a lock of hair out of Marlene’s
face.

“I know,” Dorcas murmured, raising Marlene’s hand to her mouth and pressing a kiss to her
knuckles. She had a few small cuts dotting them, from where Dorcas couldn’t say.

Marlene closed her eyes, sighing at the contact. She snuck a hand under Dorcas’ shirt, resting
it on the curve of Dorcas’ waist, “I probably did something stupid,”

Dorcas laughed, “You do stupid things all the time Marls,”

Marlene smiled, then morphed it into a playful glare, “Shut up and let me explain,”
Dorcas laughed again and scooched closer to Marlene.

“I wrote to my mum about the holidays,” Marlene said, twirling one of Dorcas’ locs around
her finger, “About staying here I mean, and she said she really wanted me to come home. She
said she wouldn’t force me or anything, but it was clear she misses me,”

Dorcas smiled fondly, Marlene loved her mother so much it hurt.

“So, and this is where I do something stupid, I write back and I say I really want to see her,
but theres a friend who I haven’t really gotten close with until this year who I want to spend
the holidays with,”

“So far this sounds fine Marls,”

“Well she writes back to me, and I’m thinking it's going to be a nice ‘aww thats okay spend
time with your friend’ letter, but no, she tells me I should bring my friend and I wrote back to
her and said you’d come and now my mum’s expecting you to come with me for the
holidays, the end, you hate me” Marlene stares at Dorcas, her eyes wide and frightened.

Dorcas blinked at her girlfriend. Her girlfriend who had been avoiding her for days, so much
that Dorcas thought they were going to break up. Because she’d gotten a letter from her
mother.

“Marlene Grace McKinnon-”

“That's not my middle name,”

Dorcas doubled down on it, prompting a laugh from Marlene, “Marlene Grace McKinnon,
you are the dumbest person I have ever met but not for the reason you think,”

Marlene raised her eyebrow, “No? Enlighten me, oh brilliant one,”

Dorcas pressed a gentle kiss to Marlene’s nose. It had taken her so long to realise that
Marlene had freckles. Freckles that splattered across her skin from head to toe.

“You’re an idiot because you’ve been avoiding me for what feels like forever because I’ve
been invited to spend the holidays with you,”

Marlene scowled, throwing her arms around Dorcas’ neck, “No, you were invited and you’ve
accepted, you’re coming now, that’s the stupid thing,”

Dorcas laughed, “I’d love to meet your mum Marlene, I don’t mind you answered for me,”

Marlene blinked at her, “You don’t?”

“No, I would have said yes anyways,”

Marlene’s confusion melted into joy and she pushed forward, sloppily kissing Dorcas and
laughing into her mouth.
When she pulled away she was still laughing and Dorcas was reminded of how lucky she
was.

Marlene was beautiful. Her wide nose, sprinkled with dots and scars from spots, resting
perfectly above her full lips. The way she did her eyeliner made her eyes look sharp and
innocent at the same time and they were such a lovely brown.

Dark enough you thought they were black until you got close to her. And the colour appeared
as if a layer of dust was wiped away. Her eyes reminded Dorcas of the bark of an oak tree she
used to sit and read in back home. Of Remus’ sweaters and him handing out chocolate to
whoever would accept it.

She had such lovely eyes. Eyes that were looking at Dorcas, some kind emotion shifting in
the mahogany.

Marlene began to draw small circles where her hand was resting on Dorcas’ waist, “I want to
tell her this Christmas,”

At Dorcas’ confused expression, Marlene added some information, “About us, and being
queer and all that,”

Dorcas formed an ‘o’ with her mouth. She could understand why Marlene might not want her
there.

“I mean she’s best friends with the Potters, she’s got to be okay with it right? They’re the
most progressive people I’ve ever met,”

“It's still frightening,” Dorcas said, remembering when she finally told her own parents.
They’d taken it well, but she knew they were a bit uncertain about how to address her
sexuality. Her mother had asked her if she should be moved to the boys dorm now.

“Yeah,” She sighed, pulling her body closer to Dorcas’ and burying her face in her neck, “I
just don’t want anything to change,” her voice was muffled by Dorcas’ skin, which Dorcas
found very cute.

“I know,” Dorcas spoke into her hair, pressing a kiss into her black roots, “I understand,”

REMUS

Sirius had been doing well recently, and by proxy, so had Remus.

They’d sorted out what they felt for each other, Sirius was trying to fix things with his
brother, the holidays were coming up, things couldn’t be more perfect if Remus tried.

“Can you look anymore like a baby deer learning to walk?” Sirius teased as Remus clung to
his broom like it was a lifeboat during the sinking of the titanic.

That was something that was wrong with life at the moment.
Prongs was insistent that they were going to have a match between everyone who was
staying at Hogwarts for the holidays, which was fine. The problem was Remus was staying
and in the name of unity, he had to participate.

Which meant he had to get on a broom.

Which meant Sirius was teaching him how to ride a broom.

Which brought him to the current situation

“Shut up,” He glared at Sirius, his body curved over the wood, “This is terrifying,”

“Is wittle baby moony afwaid of heights?” Sirius taunted.

Remus glared harder and tried to swipe at Sirius with his arm, but he missed horribly. All
Sirius had to do to avoid it was go back.

He wasn’t afraid of heights. He was afraid of falling, those were very different things. He was
fine being on a tall ladder or looking out the window at the astronomy tower. He was not fine
suspending thousands of metres in the sky with a wooden stick keeping him afloat.

“Can’t hit me if you can’t move,” Sirius said, grinning. God he was annoying.

“Maybe I would be able to move if you actually taught me things instead of laughing,”
Remus snapped, trying to push himself up like he always saw James doing. He was pretty
sure you weren’t supposed to be lying on the broom.

“Maybe I’d teach you things if you were nice to me,”

Remus glared at him, then, when Sirius stayed a few metres away, a coy smile on his face, he
sighed.

“Help me,” He grumbled, “Quit being smug about it and help me.”

“Of course my darling Moony all you had do was ask,” Sirius flew to his side and put a hand
on his broom steadying it, “Alright sit up, you’re making it worse bent over like that,”

Remus tried to do as he was told but his arms were shaky pushing himself up.

“There you go,” Sirius had one arm on Remus’ broom and another on his back.

“How are you doing that?” Remus asked, barely getting the words out. It took far too much
focus to keep himself steady, speaking at the same time was a chore.

“What?”

“That,” He gestured with his chin, “You’re not holding on,”

Sirius glanced, almost surprised, at his broom, “Oh yeah, just comes with practice I guess,”

Remus stared incredulously at Sirius, he’d never understand Quidditch players.

“I’m gonna take my hand away now okay?”

“No!” Remus gasped out, grabbing Sirius’ wrist before he could let go, “Don’t you dare,”

Sirius laughed, but it quickly died when he saw the genuine anger in Remus’ eyes, “Merlin
alright, I’m gonna let go of your back now yeah?”

Remus nodded, unable to speak anymore. He was too focused on keeping his eyes away from
the ground, from the hurtling drop beneath them.

“I’m gonna fly now, and I’m just going to pull you so you can get used to moving,”

Remus nodded. His knuckles were getting white where he was holding onto the broom.

Sirius started moving and Remus sucked in a breath, “Slow down! You idiot, slow down!”

“Moony I’m barely moving,”

“I said slower!”

“Moony come on we’re like two feet off the ground- is that Regulus?”

Remus couldn’t be bothered to check,”I don’t care- Sirius! Get back here!”

Sirius had jumped off his broom and started waving to the figure that was standing hesitantly
by the entrance to the pitch.

If Remus squinted, he could maybe make out Regulus’ hair and short stature, but he was still
preoccupied. He couldn’t believe Sirius had left him, hanging dangerously in the air.

“Please Reg, Moony needs all the help he can get,” Sirius was pulling his brother towards
Remus. Regulus looked reluctant and maybe a bit anxious.

“I resent that,” Remus protested, trying to maintain some semblance of dignity in front of the
stoic Regulus Black, “I’m very capable,”

Sirius raised one perfectly arched eyebrow, “Yeah? Let go of the broom,”

“Are you insane?!” Remus said, his voice strangled.

“See, he needs it, Reg, please?” Sirius’ voice had taken on a pleading tone, anyone watching
would assume he was the younger sibling if he didn’t stand about a head taller than Regulus.

Regulus looked between them. While Remus didn’t want anyone more than necessary seeing
him in the position he was in, it would seem it was needed. Sirius wasn’t a great teacher.

“I can try,” Regulus said eventually, mounting his broom and coming to float next to Remus,
“Why are you so close to the ground?”

“Moony refused to go higher,”

“Are you afraid of heights?” Regulus asked, raising an eyebrow. Remus was surprised at how
similar he looked to Sirius at that moment.

“He’s not afraid of height,” Sirius answered, taking his place on Remus’ other side, “He’s
afraid of falling,”

“What’s the difference?”

“There’s a difference!” Remus snapped, “Now if I wanted to deal with two Black brothers, I
would have signed up for that ages ago, if you’re not both going to be helpful, one of you is
leaving,”

Regulus and Sirius shared a glance.

“We’ll be good Moony I promise, now let's try to get your hands off the broom,”

Eventually Remus was actually able to fly and he began to overcome his fear. He was
nowhere near James or Sirius’ level, but he could fly.

“You wouldn’t have made a bad seeker,” Regulus remarked as they touched down on the
ground and the sun began to set, “If you’d have started playing earlier,”

His hair was tousled and messy from flying and his cheeks were pink. He looked much
younger like this.

Sirius threw an arm over his shoulder and ruffled his hair even further, he tensed up as soon
as contact was made, “I think so too Reg, but Moony’s too much of a scaredy-cat to have
tried out,”

Regulus managed to duck away from Sirius’ arm, “Excuse me, I’ve realised I forgot
something back at the castle,” His voice had become cold and Remus raised his hackles.

Sirius frowned, “We’re heading back now aren’t we?”

Regulus didn’t grace them with an answer. He turned on his heel and walked away without so
much of a wave goodbye.

Remus put a hand on Sirius’ shoulder comfortingly, “You alright?”

Sirius shrugged. He was glaring at his brother’s back, “Fine, I knew this was going to
happen,”

He started walking in the opposite direction to Regulus, towards the exit on the opposite side
of the pitch. They would end up in the same place, so Remus really didn’t see any point to
this other than to be dramatic.

Then again, the Black family was nothing if not dramatic.

He jogged to catch up to Sirius, catching his arm, “Knew what was going to happen?”
Sirius sighed, “Knew he’d push back,”

He didn’t elaborate immediately and Remus didn’t want to push. THey walked back to the
castle in relative silence before Sirius spoke up again.

“He said we couldn’t be fixed,” He said quietly, “In the hospital, he said we weren’t meant to
be fixed,” He turned his large eyes to Remus and something melted inside him, “Do you
think he’s right Moony?”

Remus shook his head quickly. He couldn’t know, if he was to be honest, but that wasn’t
what Sirius needed to hear.

Sirius was quiet again for a moment, before nodding determinedly, “I’m going to fix us,”

Remus smiled softly and looked around before pressing a quick kiss to Sirius’ cheek, “I
believe that,”

PANDORA

Pandora had never had a crush before.

Well maybe she had.

She’d had a strange interest in Evan before she’d realised he was himself. She was almost
sure she’d fancied Lily Evans at one point, but that might have simply been platonic. She’d
even gone out with a guy for a few months, but she hadn’t liked him that much.

Then Xenophilius came along.

Ze-no-feel-ee-us.

He had a nice name. She’d done some research into it and in greek it roughly translated to
‘One who loves the strange’. She thought that was awfully fitting for him.

Xenophilius did love strange things.

Pandora had always been someone based in fact, though she had an abstract mind, she liked it
when things made sense. She let any need for strangeness or irregularity out through her
paintings, otherwise, she stuck to what she knew.

Xenophilius was not like that.

He was convinced there were creatures out there like Crumple-Horned Snorkacks and
Knargles. He thought Gnomes had untapped magical abilities and was genuinely convinced
Patronus’ determined ones love life.

He was fascinating and Pandora could not understand him for the life of her.

She thought it was understandable she’d fallen devastatingly in love with him.
She rounded a corner to find the object of her infatuation, looking out over the grounds, a
wondrous look on his face.

She grinned and clasped her hands behind her back, walking up behind him quietly, “What
are you looking at?”

“Merlin!” Xenophilius exclaimed, jumping away from the window, his eyes large, “Pandora!
You scared me,”

Pandora laughed, “Sorry Xeno,” she’d decided she preferred Xeno to Philly, Philly was too
silly.

He smiled shyly at her and returned to the window.

“What are you looking at?” She prompted again, cramming her face to try and see what
Xenophilius was seeing.

“It's gone now,” He said, crestfallen, “It was a Beetle Bird,”

“What’s that?”

“A beetle with the wings of a bird and the size of one,”

Pandora had never heard of a Beetle Bird before.

“Sounds cool,”

Xenophilius hummed and Pandora hopped onto the window sill. She was short so when she
was sitting there, she managed to just come above his head. She hoped he found it endearing.

Talking with James had been helpful. He was a very good listener, though halfway through
their talk he’d looked like he was hit with a bat. He’d helped her sort through her feelings.

She liked Xenophilius, and it was perfectly acceptable. Sure he wasn’t the most handsome
person ever, and he wasn’t from an important family anymore, and he wasn’t all that smart
either.

But he had kind eyes and a kinder heart. He was so earnest and convinced of everything he
said, Pandora was enamoured.

“Where do you go every lunch?” She asked, mostly to fill the silence, but partly to find out.

“The library,” Xenophilius answered, still looking out the window instead of at Pandora.

“Why?”

“I don’t have anywhere else to go,”

Pandora frowned at that, “Eat with me,”

Xenophilius shook his head, “Your friends don’t like me,”

Pandora laughed, “My friends don’t like anyone except each other,”

He laughed and smiled up at Pandora, finally meeting her eyes. He was just a bit cross-eyed,
(Pandora blamed that on the in-breeding), but his eyes were a pretty blueish-grey.

“Anyways,” Pandora added, “I don’t mind eating with you some days instead of them, all
you need to do is ask,”

Xenophilius regarded her carefully, “You wouldn’t?”

“Of course not!” She smiled at him, “We’re friends Xeno!”

Hmm, she didn’t really like that either. Perhaps she’d just stick with Xenophilius. So far the
only nickname of hers that had worked was Regulus’. Lucy fit him very well.

Xenophilius gave her a tight lipped smile, “Friends,”

She felt her own grin begin to dip. They were friends right? Come to think of it, she didn’t
think they’d ever really called each other that. Maybe he didn’t like her very much.

“Only friends Pandora?”

Pandora blinked at his words. She wasn’t sure what he meant. Could he be teasing her?

“What do you mean?” Her voice sounded strange to her own ears.

Xenophilius looked at her for another moment before setting his jaw and pushing towards
her.

The kiss lasted less than a second. It should probably be considered more of a peck than a
kiss, but it had happened.

Xenophilius looked up at Pandora, pink dusting his cheeks, “If you hate me now thats fine.
Or if you just want to be friends, I’m just happy to have known you,”

Pandora couldn’t help it.

She burst out laughing.

“Pandora!” Xenophilius exclaimed, “What’s so funny? I mean it!”

She couldn’t stop. She was bent over herself, clutching her stomach in pain. Tears were
welling in the corner of her eyes.

“Pandora! Stop making fun of me!”

“No! I’m not I swear,” She cut herself off with a laugh, “Merlin, Xenophilius,” She laughed
again, finally regaining control of herself.

Xenophilius looked at her, the pink colour having spread across his whole face and turned
into a deep red, “Why are you laughing?”
 She laughed again, just a short one that was more of a giggle than anything, “It's just- you
make it sound so melodramatic,”

His mouth dropped open, “I was scared you’d hate me!”

“I know, I know!” She giggled, she really shouldn’t be, considering how nervous she’d been
about him in the first place, “But you make it sound like I’m dead,”

Xenophilius laughed this time, nudging her gently with his shoulder, “Sorry,” he muttered, “I
didn’t mean to kill you off,”

“Its fine,” She sighed, putting her hand over his, “It gave me a good laugh,”

She realised after a few moments of quiet, she’d never told him she returned his feelings. She
should probably mention that.

“Xenophilius?”

“Yeah?”

She kissed him.

This time, it was a proper kiss.

Chapter End Notes

Two shorter chapters in a row, gosh I'm so sorry. This one was mostly just for my sake
because I've been craving writing Dorlene. Then the Wolfstar and Xenodora
(Panphilius? I have no clue) came naturally

imagine making an important developement in your main relationship then completly

ignoring that developement in the next chapter to focus on side pairings. HA couldn't be
me...

oh my gosh, look, three relationships with healthy communication!! jegulily take notes

also, good news and bad news.

Bad news, I got covid. Good news! I'm staying home from school and can write more. I
also have spring break which means I have three weeks where maybe I can update more
frequently. If miracles are real I may even be able to finish in the next three weeks!

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING AND LEAVING COMMENTS AND

KUDOS OH MY GOD THANK YOU SO MUCH THIS IS AMAZING
 The Talkative Consequences of Regulus Black
Chapter Summary

the jegulily chapter you've all been waiting for (not a confession (well kinda a
confession (just read it)))

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

JAMES

He needed to find Lily.

He really needed to talk to Lily.

Merlin, where was she?!

He’d looked in the common room and asked Mary if she was in her dorm. He’d checked the
library, the great hall, the potions classroom, the come and go room. He’d even asked
Marlene to check the washrooms for him.

She seemed to have disappeared.

And he needed to talk to her.

James was having a dilemma. He’d realised, only yesterday, that he fancied Regulus Black.
He’d realised this morning, when he saw Regulus down two cups of coffee and get whipped
cream on his nose, that he was hopelessly in love with Regulus Black.

He was also hopelessly in love with Lily Evans. Who he knew was in love with Regulus and
him.

He really needed to find her, he was about to ask Snape, he was that desperate, when
someone tapped him on the shoulder.

“Potter, can we talk?” Joston asked, her arms crossed and her jaw raised high.

James sighed, “Can it wait Joston? I’m looking for someone,”

“Who?”

“Evans,”
Joston’s eyes brightened, as much as they could when set into a permanent frown, “She’s on
the Quidditch pitch,”

James frowned, eyeing Joston up and down suspiciously, “Thanks, what did you need?” He
supposed he could talk to her for a moment, she had helped him. Unless she was lying, in that
case he looked a bit foolish.

“I wanted to talk to you about the match,”

James started walking towards the pitch as Joston spoke and she followed. She was tall
enough that she kept up with him easily.

He’d meant to talk to Joston about that match. Apologise for letting his emotions get the best
of him and riling up his team, but then she’d completely denied asking him to throw the
match and pissed him off.

“Yeah? You ready to talk about you asking me to throw the match?” He glared at her, “Cause
it was one thing to ask, it was another thing to deny doing it.”

Joston’s mouth was into a straight line and she returned James’ glare, “I never asked Mary to
talk to you,”

James stopped in his tracks. That made much more sense.

“Honestly I’m a bit offended you thought I’d ask but whatever,” She smiled, at least James
thought it was a smile, “Mary got worried about me and wanted to make sure I did well,”

James started walking again, they weren’t far from the pitch, “Why was she worried?”

“Something Crouch said pissed us both off, but it doesn’t matter,” She stopped James,
grabbing his arm, “I wanted to thank you,”

James narrowed his eyes suspiciously, “Why?”

“Oh don’t look at me like that,” She rolled her eyes, “I’m thanking you for not throwing the
match. I hate handouts,”

James stared at her. He’d been feeling a bit guilty the past few days over the match.

What Mary had said had been mostly true. Joston and her had a lot less opportunity
compared to him. They’d have to fight for the place they deserved and he knew he could be
doing more to help them. He was rather glad Joston didn’t resent him.

“Oh, well, you’re welcome,” He responded lamely.

The captains stared at each other silently for a few moments, a mutual respect overshadowed
by sheer awkwardness hanging in the air.

“Right well you should go find Evans,” Joston prompted, nodding towards the pitch.
“Yeah, I should, you’re right,”

They kept staring at each other.

“Okay,” Joston nodded her head, “bye,” She raised her hand, like she was about to wave, then
thought better of it and left.

What a strange encounter.

James shrugged and started towards the pitch.

He spotted Lily’s mop of red hair in the stands and made his way towards it, feeling the note
in his pocket.

He’d never loved anyone like he’d loved Lily and then Regulus had come along and messed
that up. He’d infiltrated James’ mind, made it his home, and refused to leave.

So James had catalogued the moments where he’d fallen for Regulus and written them down
on a piece of parchment. He was going to use it to explain what was going on to Lily.

“Afternoon Evans, what are you doing out here?”

Lily looked up at him, surprised. Her gaze softened when she saw him. She was wearing
what looked like a warm coat with small buttons, “It’s nice out, and I wanted somewhere to
think,”

James took a seat next to her, “About what?”

She shrugged, gesturing vaguely to the scenery around them.

James chuckled, “That wasn’t clarifying in the slightest but I’ll let it slide cause you’re cute,”

Lily blushed, “James,” she warned.

“I wanted to talk to you about Regulus,”

She tensed up, turning away from James, “Please James I told you I can’t,”

“No I know,” He took her hand and pulled out his notes, he’d written: ‘talk about the music’.

He frowned. What had he meant? Was he talking about the piano? Or when he’d played
music for Regulus? Maybe he’d just meant Regulus and the general musicality that
surrounded him.

“What’s that?” Lily asked, nodding towards the note.

He’d also written ivory a bunch of times and underlined it, “Its my notes, hang on give me a
second,”

Merlin, he should have asked Moony for help. This page was a mess of thoughts. Everything
was scrambled and unorganised. He sighed and shoved it into Lily’s hands, “Here, read this,”
Her eyes trained over the paper, carefully reading James’ heart. Once she finished, she looked
up at him, her eyes questioning.

“It’s about Regulus,” James said, pointing to specific parts on the paper, “I smell ivory in my
amortentia and Regulus plays the piano. Piano keys are sometimes made of ivory. And then
here, that was about quidditch, and when he got hurt,”

Lily shook her head, rereading the notes, “I don’t understand James,”

He smiled at her, “Me neither if I’m going to be honest, I thought it was only you for so long
and now he’s there but I can’t bring myself to hate it,”

“You’re being confusing,”

“No, Regulus is being confusing,” James corrected. He took the paper and folded it, then
tucked it into her pocket, “I’m in love with you and Regulus. And you’re in love with me and
Regulus. And who knows what he’s thinking because he’s honestly the strangest person I’ve
ever met,”

He knew he must sound insane and desperate but he wasn’t experienced in the art of loving
someone that wasn’t Lily.

Lily stared at him, something like relief and fear framing her face, “You’re mad,”

“A little,” James grinned, “But you love me,”

He didn’t phrase it like a question, but it was one.

Lily laughed, then kissed him.

James didn’t think there was anything that could ever top kissing Lily Evans.

His hand tangled in curly hair, a scarred hand snaking around his neck to pull him closer,
parted lips, flushed cheeks. His tie being pulled towards someone.

Well, maybe one thing would make it better.

LILY

After an eye opening conversation with James, Lily felt like a weight had been lifted off her
shoulders. She kept worrying about if she'd made the right decision stopping things with
James, but he'd cleared it up easily. One conversation with him and she'd fallen in love all
over again.

She was waiting in the Gryffindor common room for James, a potions textbook tucked under
her arm.

After a brief conversation about what they both wanted, they’d come up with a plan to woo
Regulus.
Lily was going to sit in on potions lesson’s as often as possible, James was going to come to
more modelling sessions, and they were going to manipulate the prefect schedule to spend as
much time together as possible.

Normally, Lily would look down on taking advantage of their authority role, but desperate
times called for desperate measures. It was already unlikely Regulus was going to fall for one
of them, the chance of him falling for both of them was even slimmer.

They were going to need all the help they could get.

“Ready to go, Lils?” James said, coming down from his dorm. He was wearing a sweater
with a lion emblem on the right pocket.

“I’m good yeah,”

They walked down to the potions classroom together, Lily’s hand shaking in her pocket. She
didn’t expect to be nervous about this, and looking at James, he seemed fine, but god, she
wanted this to go well.

She was lucky, probably luckier than anyone else, that Regulus was the most intriguing
person in the world and had charmed James. She was lucky James had fallen in love with
Regulus, she wasn’t sure she could function without both of them.

“Afternoon Sunshine!”

Regulus looked up from where he was sitting at a bench, he frowned when he saw Lily,
“Afternoon, what’s Evans doing here?”

There was a potion boiling next to him and it was changing colour. It shifted between sunset
hues, red to orange to yellow to pink.

“I’m looking for someone to study potions with,” Lily smiled, sitting down opposite Regulus,
“I thought I could ask you since you’ve been so helpful with James,”

Regulus’ frown deepened suspiciously, “But I’m not doing better than you in potions,”

“Oh please sunshine,” James whined, sitting down next to him, “I’ve been singing your
praises to anyone who would listen, you’ve got to prove me right,”

“I don’t have to do anything,” he snapped, but opened his notes, “We’re studying the potion
we brewed last time, the Scintillation Solution,”

James looked at the potion that was bubbling next to them, “What’s this then?”

Regulus shrugged, “Slughorn asked me not to touch it, its for his seventh years class,”

Lily peered into the concoction, “It's pretty,”

“I’m pretty certain it's also poisonous,”

Lily sat back in her chair quickly, and Regulus smiled at her reaction. He had a nice smile.

Regulus was good at studying, he kept James on task and helped Lily understand some
concepts she’d been struggling with. They ended up staying in the potions classroom for
much longer than Lily had expected, finding a natural rhythm between the three of them.

“You read Shakespeare?” Lily asked, noticing a book peeking out of Regulus’ bag.

“Hm? Oh yeah,” He pulled it out, “Pandora gave a couple to read over the break,”

She’d never read much Shakespeare herself, but she knew Remus liked him. She also knew
he was a muggle.

“Your parents are okay with you reading muggle stuff?” James asked, looking up from his
notebook. Regulus had instructed him to write about the benefits of crushing your ingredients
compared to cutting them, he seemed just about done.

Regulus shook his head, “My parents are going to france, I’ll be staying at school,”

Lily gaped, “Why didn’t you tell me?!”

Regulus glanced up at her, surprise lacing his features, “I didn’t know you would care,”

“Of course I care!” Lily glared at him, she’d hoped he considered them at least friends, “I
have to get you a gift! It would have been so embarrassing if you were staying and I didn’t,”

Regulus blushed, returning to his notes, “You don’t have to get me anything,”

“What are you talking about?” James demanded, “Of course we do! And now we have a
seeker!”

Lily beamed at James, he could really be smart when he wanted to be.

“Why do you need a seeker?”

“For the holiday match of course!” James shut his notebook, he must have finished his work,
“Everyone who’s staying is playing. We’ve got Lily and I, of course, then Moony, Padfoot,
Wormtail, Marlene, Mary, Dorcas, Pandora,” He counted on his fingers as he spoke,
“Xenophilius, Joston and now you!”

Regulus frowned, “That’s only twelve people,”

“Well we don’t know who else is staying,” Lily replied, “Do you have any idea?”

Regulus shrugged, “Evan might be, I’ll ask him,”

“Brilliant!” James exclaimed, “Merlin I’m actually pretty excited for this now,”

Lily grinned, she hadn’t been thrilled about the idea of it, but the closer the game got, the
more anticipation built in her chest, and now that Regulus was staying, it offered more of an
opportunity to get to know him.

James and her had agreed to take it slow. To build their relationship with him, allowing him
to grow close with them naturally. James, ever impatient, had whined about it but came
around eventually. Lily expected it would take at least until the end of the year for Regulus to
really be himself around them.

She watched James and Regulus bicker playfully, Regulus’ mouth upturned into a half smile.

She really wanted it to take less time. If she was to be honest, she was just as impatient about
Regulus as James

REGULUS

November sucked.

If anyone asked Regulus which month he’d like to get rid of he’d answer November.

It was cold, rarely had pretty snow, and close enough to Christmas that Regulus had to start
worrying about gifts.

The month was over now, but that meant it was December.

December, which was the holiday season, was cold, had snow, and the horrors of gift giving
were being shoved right in his face.

Gifts. His least favourite thing in the world.

And now he had to buy seven of them, maybe eight.

He could get away with something small for Joston and Elizabeth, maybe just some
chocolate. But Evan and Barty were high maintenance.

They’d teased him to end last year when he’d gotten them both textbooks but in his defence,
they were very expensive and useful to the classes they were interested in.

Pandora wasn’t too hard, she’d given them lists and asked that they stick to it to avoid any
confusion. Regulus did the same for her, putting practical things on his list instead of the
frivolity Evan and Barty had written.

Then there were the three problems.

Sirius had always been picky and Regulus wasn’t even sure he should get anything for him. If
it wasn’t going to piss off their parents, he didn’t want it. He was almost certain that after
their last conversation, where Regulus had left abruptly because he was terrified of becoming
attached, Sirius wouldn’t want anything to do with him.
Most of what he knew about Lily was from rounds together and painting her. They didn’t
exactly discuss deep things then. Mostly Lily had talked about James.

And then there was James.

All Regulus knew about James was that he played Quidditch, and was bad at potions. He
supposed he could get James a book, or maybe some polish.

Ever since Lily had sat in on his potions session with James, and informed him she’d be
getting him something, he’d been worried about them.

Evan threw an arm around Regulus’ shoulder in a way that reminded him painfully of his
brother, “Are you going to tell us what we’re looking for?”

Regulus shrugged Evan off, “I already did,” he grumbled, “We’re going Christmas
shopping,”

Barty and Evan shared a look.

“That's usually something you do on your own, isn’t it Reg?” Barty asked, looking over Evan
to try and catch Regulus’ eyes. It was difficult as Regulus had somehow misplaced his good
coat and resorted to bundling himself up in scarves, beanies, and mittens. Barty could barely
see his eyes.

“Yes, but I need help,” Regulus responded sharply, rounding a corner of Hogsmeade to arrive
at a quill shop that Pandora had put down as a place to find things she’d like.

“Ah right,” Evan mused, “Because you want to avoid getting the people you care about the
worst gifts known to mankind,”

“They weren’t that bad!”

“You got me textbooks, you got me! Me! Evan ‘Fuck School’ Rosier a fucking Charms
textbook! I hate charms!”

“You struggle in charms!” Regulus protested, “I thought you might appreciate it!”

“Oh leave him alone Evan,” Barty opened the door to the quills shop for them, “it's not his
fault his parents told him that was acceptable,”

“Perhaps not but his parents aren’t here for me to blame,”

Regulus rolled his eyes and unwrapped his scarf, ducking away from Evan and Barty to
search for gifts.

He could probably get something for Elizabeth here as well, he knew she collected antique
quills.

He grabbed the note Pandora had given him from the pocket of his trousers. From this shop
she’d written she’d like a quill with disappearing ink or parchment that wouldn't run out.
Regulus thought that seemed impractical but asked a store clerk about it anyway.

She helped him find a pretty ornate quill for Elizabeth. The feather was white and the point
was silver and shaped like a sword with the hilt connecting to the feathers. The quill he’d
gotten for Pandora’s was much simpler. It had a copper handle and a dark blue feather but
Pandora wasn’t looking for pretty.

“Found something?” Evan asked, as Regulus approached them, browsing the parchment
section.

“Yeah, quills for Pandora and Elizabeth,” He placed a galleon and a few sickles on the table
to pay and a clerk bagged his purchases, “How are you two by the way, I keep meaning to
ask,”

Evan frowned, “What do you mean us two?”

They thanked the clerk and left the shop. Regulus wanted to go to the sports shop to find
something for Barty and Joston. Maybe he could find something for James as well.

“You and Elizabeth? Did you break up or something?”

Evan shook his head, “We were never dating Reg,”

Regulus distinctly remembered accidentally walking in them in Evan's bed, Elizabeth’s top
thrown haphazardly around the room.

“Really?”

Evan shrugged, “I mean we fucked around but it wasn’t anything serious, we haven’t done
anything for ages,”

Regulus blinked, wrapping his scarf tighter around himself. Maybe he didn’t know much
about relationships. Maybe he was mistaking his own feelings for something they weren’t.

Regulus remembered how Lily had laughed with him, wearing a lovely sheer dress that
highlighted her eyes and stood out against her pale skin. He remembered James’ tousled hair,
eyes that traced Regulus’ features admiringly.

No, that couldn’t be platonic or just fun. There was nothing fun about what he felt for Lily
and James.

It was painful, raw, and beautiful, and it was undeniably love.

Regulus sighed. His feelings had only gotten worse recently. They seemed insistent on
spending time with him and unlike before, he now had to do it at the same time.

James brought up Lily every tutoring session and she came to as many as she could get away
with. Lily invited James to painting sessions and his violin had become a regular member of
Regulus’ artistry. It was like they were trying to make him fall in love with them.
Trying to make him fall in love, then tearing it away when his hopes were raised anymore
than an inch.

Regulus pushed open the door to the sports shop, making a beeline for the quidditch
equipment. He told Barty to leave him alone for the time being and pulled off his mittens and
hat, flicking through the tabloids.

He got absorbed in an issue about a Hollyhead Harpee’s beater accused of cheating with
muggle drugs and didn’t notice someone coming up behind him.

“What are you reading?”

Regulus jumped, snapping the tabloid shut and whirling to see who was behind him.

Joston had her hands raised in surrender, a small smile lighting up her features.

Regulus relaxed, matching her smile, “Quidditch issue. Kirklan got accused of performance
enhancers,”

She hummed, narrowing her eyes at the pages, “Idiot, he’ll get himself fired if he keeps that
up,”

Regulus shrugged, putting the magazine back. He could see Evan and Barty talking to a
Slytherin sixth year who’s name he didn’t know. He also saw Mary admiring a display of
colour changing Snitches near the front of the store.

He nodded towards her, “Are you here with her?”

“Hm? Oh yeah,” Joston smiled softly at Mary, “She offered to take me out as a way of
regaining favour,”

Regulus frowned, he hadn’t known they’d argued. He should really start paying more
attention to his friends, “Are you angry with her?”

“Not anymore really,”

“But you were?”

“Yeah,”

Regulus’ frown deepened, “Why?”

She turned away from Mary, sizing up Regulus, “Remember that game where you got
clocked in the head?”

Regulus nodded, raising his hand up to his forehead where he had a small scar. He didn’t
remember much from that match. What had stuck out to him the most had been what
happened afterwards.

Sirius.
“Well, turns out Mary went to Potter and asked him to throw the match for my sake. It made
him all pissed, which is fair enough, and got everyone’s blood pumping. It's probably part of
the reason you got hurt,”

Regulus glanced Mary’s way. She was still engrossed in the display. He thought it was odd
she’d do something like that, she and Joston were good enough friends that she should know
Joston didn’t like handouts.

“I don’t know,” Joston sighed, leaning on a piece of furniture next to her, “Honestly I think
she was just frustrated,”

“About what?” He pulled out another paper, it was reviewing bats, Barty might like it.

“Crouch, I told her about what he said,”

Regulus looked to his friends. Barty kept stealing glances at them. Joston and him were on
speaking terms, even somewhat regaining a sense of friendship, but there was still a lingering
tension in the air. To his credit, Barty seemed determined to dissolve it.

“And she was upset?”

Joston shrugged, “She worries cause I’m muggleborn and in Slytherin. You realise that half
the Slytherin’s who I consider friends, you included, would have had me cursed daily for
daring to practise magic in another lifetime?”

Regulus put the magazine back, he didn’t think Barty would want it very much, “I know, but
this isn’t that life,”

Joston shrugged, “But we’re not that far from it. And when you lot say things like that, the
shit I’m going to have to go through becomes so much more real,”

Regulus went quiet and Joston nudged him gently, a smile on her face. She was much taller
than he was, and more muscular too. She didn’t look anything like Narcissa, but she
reminded Regulus of her alot.

“But that doesn’t mean you’ve got it all that great either you know? I mean I’ve got a lot less
scars than you do,”

Regulus returned the smile, “You don’t need to worry about me,”

She raised her eyebrows, “You want to explain why you exploded at me that one time then?”

Regulus blushed. He’d almost forgotten about that and now that he was reminded, he didn’t
feel great about it, “No, but know I feel bad,”

Joston laughed, ruffling his hair, “It's alright, I’m tough,” She nodded to the stack of papers in
front of Regulus, “What are you looking for?”

“Gifts, I’m rubbish at finding them,”

“Hmm, who are you looking for?”

“You, Barty, and,” He paused, his cheek colouring, “James,” He mumbled, barely loud
enough for Joston to hear.

“James Potter? Why the hell are you getting something for James Potter?”

“I don’t know!” Regulus sighed, rubbing his forehead exasperatedly, “I’m tutoring him and
he said he would get me something so I figured it's only polite,”

Joston had a strange look on her face but before she could question further, Evan came to
grab Regulus by the arm, “Are you close to done? We need to look at other places as well,”

“Yeah,” he replied, putting his mittens and beanie back on and waving goodbye to Joston, “I
didn’t find anything good,”

“Too bad, who were you even shopping for?”

“Barty, Joston and-” He could not tell Evan about James, “you,” He finished, wincing at the
bad lie.

“Me? God Reg, you really are bad at this,”

“Shut up,”

He wasn’t able to find much else for the rest of the day. The closest he got to a good gift was
some socks for Evan, but that was squashed when Barty saw them in his bag and demanded
he put them back for being ‘a smear on the good name of fashion’.

It had begun to snow as they returned to the castle, and Regulus pulled his coat tighter. He
should really figure out what happened to his good one.

“So we spent about five hours in Hogsmeade and you found two gifts. Two gifts that you got
in the first half hour,”

Regulus sighed, “Yes Barty I’m aware of the time we spent there,”

“I’m never coming with you again,”

“Weren’t you the one telling me to leave him alone?” Evan crooned, a smug smile on his
face. His hands had turned pink from the cold and he had snowflakes in his hair.

“That was before he wasted an afternoon going from store to store, fretting over what
everyone would like!” Barty glared at him, rubbing his hands together to create heat,
“Honestly Regulus, you have to be trying to be bad at this,”

“I’m not!” He protested, “If you two would just tell me what you want this would be a lot
easier,”
“That takes the fun out of it though,” Evan replied, “You’re supposed to know us! Well
enough to at least have an idea of what we’d like,”

Regulus glared at him, “I know you well enough to know you’re a prat,”

“A prat who would appreciate...?” He clearly wanted Regulus to fill in the blank.

“I don’t know!” Regulus groaned, “Chocolate?”

Evan frowned, “I suppose? Chocolate’s nice, it's better than books at the very least,”

“Are you talking bad about books?”

Pandora appeared from somewhere around them, linking her arm with Evan and Regulus’.
They hadn’t been seeing her as much as she’d been spending more time with Xenophilius
since dating him, but Regulus still painted with her frequently.

“I am, Dora,” Evan said, pulling her into a side hug, he would never admit how much he
cared about her, “You know I hate them more than death,”

“Oh you just haven’t found the right book that's all, I think you’d enjoy muggle books,”

“I think those are the last books I’d enjoy,”

Their back and forth continued until they reached the castle and Regulus parted ways with
them to go down to the kitchens. He didn’t want to eat in the great hall with everyone else,
but had already skipped lunch and breakfast.

When he got down, he asked Marco for some cocoa and whatever food was on hand, then
went to a bench in the corner and pulled a book from his bag. He was reading another
recommendation from Pandora and it was written by the same author.

Twelfth Night by William Shakespeare. According to her it was a comedy that played on love
triangles and love at first sight. Regulus had been enjoying it much more than Romeo and
Juliet.

He wasn’t sure how long he read for. Long enough that he was given a plate of food and
finished one cup of hot cocoa and two cups of coffee. He was a bit shaky when he finally
looked up at the clock and realised how late it was.

He’d glanced around the kitchen, looking for Kinsy. He still hadn’t gotten the opportunity to
speak with her, whenever he asked the other house elves about her, they always told him she
was hard at work, learning to speak, read, and write properly.

He missed talking with her. She’d been his closest friend in his first year, before he’d gotten
close with Barty and Evan, then eventually Pandora in his third year. He liked Kinsy more
than most people.

He washed his own dishes, despite the house elves' protests and waved goodbye to them.
He decided against going straight to the dungeons and went for a stroll around the grounds. It
was dark out already and Regulus could see the full moon high in the sky.

He briefly wondered how Remus was doing at the moment, when he made contact with
someone.

“Excuse me!” He apologised, bending down to pick up the book he’d drop. He already knew
it wasn’t Filch or he’d be dead. He glanced up, making eye contact with similar grey eyes.

“Reg?” Sirius exclaimed, his expression contorted in alarm, “What are you doing out here?”

Regulus straightened his back, setting his expression in stone, “I was coming from the
kitchens, what are you doing out here?”

He felt guilty answering, almost like he was lying despite telling the full truth. Maybe it was
because he was speaking to Sirius.

“Going for a walk,” Sirius responded lamely, and Regulus narrowed his eyes. He was clearly
lying, Regulus wondered if it had something to do with Lupin.

They stood facing each other in silence for a few moments, when Sirius cleared his throat,
“James told me you’re staying for the holidays? Why’s that?”

“Mother and Father are going to France, I would have had to miss school to go,”

Sirius nodded, “Why not stay with Cissy?”

“She’s visiting Lucius family,”

“Bella?”

Regulus scoffed, “Contrary to what you might think, I’d rather not spend my holidays’
torturing rabbits,”

Sirius laughed, and Regulus hated how proud it made him feel, “I'm happy you’re staying
Reg,” He grinned at his brother, “I trust James invited you to the match?”

“He did,”

“Good,”

Silence came again. Regulus was trying to think of a way to leave the conversation in a way
that didn’t break his heart.

“I would have asked you if I knew you were staying,”

Regulus tensed, clutching his book closer to his chest, “I would have said no if you asked,”

Hurt flashed across Sirius’ face, “Why?” His voice sounded so pleading and caring. Regulus
almost missed the days where they acted like they hated each other.
 Almost.

“We shouldn’t be talking. You're not my brother, you’re a blood traitor and a
dissapointment,”

Sirius winced at his words and stared at his shoes, “I liked you better when you were high,”

Regulus barked out a laugh, he could probably leave now.

Sirius caught his wrist before he took two steps, “I meant what I said. I’m fixing us, I don’t
care how long it takes. I’m doing it,”

Regulus' skin burned where Sirius touched him. He wanted to turn around and hug his
brother, to sob into his arms and have Sirius comfort him like he used to when they were
little.

“You can’t,” he responded, his voice void of emotion, “I meant what I said as well,” he
turned to Sirius.

His brother’s jaw was set. His eyes were determined. Regulus knew this was a losing battle.
He knew Sirius would break his walls eventually, they’d always crumbled so easily under his
assaults. For now he’d have to hold out.

“We’re not meant to be fixed,”

“Who says that?”

“I do,”

Sirius shook his head, taking a step towards Regulus, “Who told you to say that Reg?”

“I did,”

Sirius shook his head again, letting go of Regulus’ wrist, “I have to go, but I don’t care who
said it. I say it's rubbish,” A confident grin set on his face. It seemed so natural there, “I’m
fixing us Regulus,”

He left after that, waving behind his shoulders in Regulus’ direction.

Regulus returned to his dorm, Sirius’ words ringing in his ears.

He lay on his back, staring at the night sky above him.

Sirius, then Regulus to its left.

Chapter End Notes

Wrote the begining of this chapter through tears because les mis is the saddest musical
ever

If you haven't read twelfth night, READ IT ITS THE BEST i have three copies of it
because i adore that play

once i finish this fic, i'm going to share the playlist's i listened to while writing cause
they are some of the funniest things ever in my humble opinion, also PLEASE give me
music recs!!!

ALSO! would we want shorter daily updates? or longer updates every two or three
days? The longer ones would be just over 6000 words per update (approximately) and
the short ones would be abbout 2000 words

Thank you so much for reading!!! Comments and kudos are always so lovely to see, so
thank you so much for leaving them!
 the Impatient Consequences of Wooing
Chapter Summary

Wooing! Confessions (not jegulily (exactly))! Trauma.

Chapter Notes

There's discussions of abuse in this one so please take care of yourself. During Sirius'
chapter he talks about what made him leave and its a bit icky so please don't force
yourself to read it.
There is about one line of french in this and the translation will be at the bottom!

See the end of the chapter for more notes

JAMES

James had never thought of himself as impatient. Sure he prefered to have things as soon as
possible, but that was normal, everyone was like that.

Regulus was making it clear to James that he was, in fact, impatient.

He knew Lily was right, Regulus scared easily, they couldn’t put any pressure on him.

But Merlin it was hard.

When Regulus looked up at him through his long lashes, a challenge shining in his eyes, his
nose red from the cold dungeons, James found it very hard not to kiss him so hard he forgot
he hated James.

And that was the thing.

James was becoming more and more sure that Regulus didn’t hate him. Sometimes he caught
Regulus watching him study. Regulus laughed at James’ jokes even though he tried not to. He
didn’t shy away from James’ touch or tense at the contact, he’d melt into it.

He was so much. He was so much, all the time, and James wasn’t sure how much longer he
could hold out.

It was easier when Lily was there. She kept him in check, she stole some of his attention, she
pulled Regulus towards her. But when she couldn’t make it to tutoring or during rounds,
James crossed the line they’d set in stone.
He grabbed Regulus’ hand whenever he had the chance to do it naturally, even though Lily
had said they should let Regulus initiate contact. He openly admired him because it made
Regulus flush red and hide behind his hair.

Luckily, the moments where Regulus was most himself, James was never alone with him.

Regulus had walls built around himself. White, marble walls so thick and tall James felt
miniscule next to them. Sometimes he could create cracks when they were alone together, but
they only truly came down when Regulus was painting.

When he was painting his shoulders relaxed. His fingers moved how they wanted to instead
of staying clenched at his side. He blossomed when put in front of a canvas.

James only got to see Regulus painting when Pandora needed him or Lily invited him along,
so he never got to be alone with Regulus when he was at his most vulnerable. That was
probably a good thing.

He appreciated Pandora for letting him play for her, not only did he get to spend more time
with Regulus, he also got to practice his violin. He’d have to write to his mum about it, she’d
be very pleased.

Pandora made a noise next to James and he peaked one eye open.

He was playing a piece he’d learned early on. It was very dramatic and usually relied on
other instruments but James was making do. He’d closed his eyes to focus.

Pandora was standing up, frowning at her canvas. She did this often. Whenever she got stuck
in a rut, she’d stand up and walk around, trying to jar some inspiration. Sometimes she would
ask Regulus for help, this was one of those times.

She walked over to him, bending down to examine his painting. He paid her no mind when
she rested her chin on his shoulder.

“Is that meant to be there?” She asked, pointing to a spot on Regulus’ painting. James
couldn’t see where she was gesturing from his position.

Regulus shook his head, “I’m going to fix it in a minute,”

Pandora nodded, “good, it doesn’t fit,”

Regulus laughed, no more than a breath of air showing amusement, then put his brush down.
He glared at Lily who was standing in a white tattered dress.

“What’s wrong Lucy?” Pandora asked, standing up straight so she wasn’t resting on him
anymore. Sensing his playing was no longer needed, James skipped a section of the song,
electing to finish it faster.

Regulus kept glaring and Lily glanced over at him nervously, “You want to adjust me?”
Regulus hesitated, but nodded eventually and James sucked in breath. He finished the song
and set his instrument down. He loved watching this.

One night in november, a little after Lily and James had come up with their plan, they’d gone
up to the astronomy tower and spent the night talking about Regulus.

They told each other about moments where they’d fallen in love with him and Lily had kept
coming back to this.

Regulus painting her, Regulus moving her, Regulus touching her, Regulus, Regulus, Regulus.

He’d seen it a few times since then and each time had been more beautiful than the last.

He’d watched them fall into their role’s, Lily the stone to be chiselled, Regulus the revering
sculptor, and take his breath from his lungs.

“Kneel please,” Regulus said, “With your knees like a ‘w’,”

Lily did as he said without question, looking up at him from her place on the floor.

“Hands out, like this,” He took her wrists and positioned them just in front of her knees,
“And arch your back a bit, but push your shoulders forward,”

His hand moved as he spoke and Lily responded easily to the slightest hint of a touch.

James wondered if Pandora felt the same as he did. If she was watching this and falling in
love, or if he’d just gotten lucky. To have been able to interfere with two people who were so
perfectly designed for one another.

Regulus stood up and started walking around Lily, making small adjustments as he moved.
Eventually he paused, standing in front of her and looked at James and Pandora.

“Could I borrow you two maybe?”

“Sure,” James answered, not having to think about it, starving for the chance to be Regulus’.

Pandora nodded as well and stood beside him, “Where do you want me?”

“You’ll be Athena,” He grabbed her by the shoulder’s and stationed her just in front of Lily,
“Bend at the knees but stay above her, then put your fingers under her chin,”

He motioned for James to come towards him, “You’re Poseidon, stand here,”

James stood behind Lily, where Regulus had asked him to be, “Like this?”

“Yeah now-” He cut himself off frowning. He stepped away, examining the scene they’d
created. When Lily had first told him about this, he hadn’t understood it. She’d said she felt
powerful, James just thought he’d feel small.
Regulus stared at him, his gaze passive. James shivered. It was voyeuristic and while James
loved being the centre of attention, there was something unnerving about the way Regulus
watched him.

Strangely enough, he was finding he didn’t hate it. Maybe feeling small, when it was because
of Regulus, was something James could stomach through.

“What’s wrong Lucy?” Pandora asked, she’d barely moved from her position.

“I don’t know,” Regulus said, “Is there a charm to give someone wings?”

James frowned, “Not that I can think of,”

“merde,”

He watched them silently for another few moments, making small adjustments, sometimes
with his hands, sometimes with his voice, before stopping behind James.

“Can I touch you? I want to try something,”

“Sure,” As soon as he responded, James felt a pressure on his back. Regulus moved him so
that he was bent over Lily, then he took James’ hands. He placed one of them on her shoulder
and wrapped the other around her neck.

James felt her swallow underneath his fingers and squeezed her shoulder in a way that he
hoped was reassuring.

“Are you alright with that Lily?” Regulus asked, bending down in front of her. She nodded
wordlessly and smiled.

Regulus returned the nod and took one of Pandora’s hands, “Hold under her chin, then put
your thumb on her lip, yeah that's right,”

He moved Pandora so she had one hand under Lily’s chin and the other wrapped around her
wrist. Somehow, despite Lily being much taller than Pandora, Pandora seemed to tower over
the other girl. James had to commend Regulus’ use of angles.

He’d never been much of an artist, but he knew, from watching Regulus work and now being
his study, Regulus was a genius in his field.

They stayed there for a while until, unmoving, until Regulus finally set his paintbrush down.

“I’m done for now, sorry about springing that on you, James and Panda,”

James couldn’t say he wasn’t pleased to be letting go of Lily’s neck, however he found he
missed being the object of Regulus’ gaze. He didn’t mind feeling raw and viewed when it
was Regulus viewing him.

“Its alright,” Pandora said, straightening her spine and stepping away from Lily, “I wasn’t
getting anything done,”
Regulus cast a drying charm over his work then threw a cloth over it, “You’ve hit a wall
then?”

“Not exactly,” Pandora shrugged, “more like a window,”

James helped Lily to her feet and she murmured a thank you, kissing him lightly on the
cheek.

“Would you like me to play something specific?” James asked Pandora, she’d throw a sheet
over her work as well and was packing up her bag.

“No it's not you, I think I just need a pause, I might start working on Remus’,”

James frowned, “Remus?”

“Hm? Oh yes,” Pandora smiled at him, “Did Lucy not tell you? I’ll be painting all of your
Amortentia, but everyone’s was quite boring apart from Lily’s, Remus’, and Regulus’,”

James frowned, he didn’t think his amortentia was boring. Lilies, ivory and wine had kept
him up at night, pondering the meaning behind it. Then again, the ivory had only just
happened and he hadn’t told anyone about the lilies.

“Did you ask Remus?” Lily asked, opening the door for everyone and leading them out.
She'd transfigured her clothes from the white dress to the Hogwarts robes.

“No, why would I?”

Lily shrugged, “It's a bit personal isn’t it?”

Pandora frowned, “I suppose, I’ll ask him during rounds,” She glanced at the watch on her
wrist, “Which is in ten minutes, I have to go get changed,”

She was gone before James had the chance to say goodbye, which he was a bit sad about, he
liked Pandora. His sadness was quickly forgotten when he realised it was just Lily, Regulus
and him.

“How much longer do you think you’ll need to be painting?” Lily asked, coming up beside
Regulus. James took his other side, taking the chance to brush his finger’s against Regulus’.

It was just a small touch, barely there, but it was enough to get him drunk on the feeling.
Enough to make him yearn for it again.

“I’ll be done before the break I think,” He shouldered his bag, then crossed his arms in front
of him, “There’s a few details I’d like to adjust but I’m mostly working on the colours now,”

James brightened. Pandora had said that Regulus was genius when it came to colours.
Apparently his work came alive when he added colours, long before he put on the
enchantments that really gave it life.

Neither he nor Lily had the chance to see the piece yet, he’d been very secretive.
“Will we be able to see it?” James asked.

“No,” Regulus shut him down swiftly with a glare, “I don’t let anyone see my work, even
Pandora,”

James pouted. At least Lily deserved to see it, she was the model after all.

“Would either of you like to come to the library with me?” Lily asked, changing the subject
expertly, “I’ve been meaning to do some extra Transfiguration work,”

Regulus shook his head, “I hate studying in the library,”

James frowned, he was sure he’d seen Regulus working there often.

“We can go somewhere else if you’d like,” Lily smiled at him, placing a hand on his
shoulder.

Regulus chewed his lip, “I don’t mind, you can study without me,”

“Don’t be ridiculous!” James exclaimed, “We can go to the common room,”

Regulus walked faster, James thought he might be trying to run away from them but he was
perseverant if nothing else.

“I don’t want to see Sirius,” Regulus said.

“Then we can go to the Slytherin common room!” James suggested. It wasn’t his greatest
idea, as he wasn’t entirely welcome in the Slytherin common room, but it was a small price to
pay to study with Regulus.

Regulus eyed him, he was biting his fingernails nervously, so James reached out to catch his
hand.

“Come on sunshine,” he grinned, “I know Minnie’s been breathing down your neck about the
animagus thing,”

He only knew that because Regulus had mentioned offhandedly she was looking to move up
his transformation process, he might be non verbal for the month of march.

It still worried him that Regulus was becoming an animagus. He didn’t think other animagi
could sense each other, McGonagall had never acted differently around them, but he was sure
it wouldn’t help them conceal their identity.

He’d managed to hide it from Lily, for Moony’s sake, but it wasn’t easy to keep so many
secrets.

“I suppose you did help last time,” Regulus admitted.

Lily beamed, sharing a congratulatory glance with James, “Perfect! We’ll study in your
dorm,”
It was a bit awkward, walking into a common room that wasn’t theirs, not for a party or
prank. James saw Joston in one corner and waved at her, she returned it hesitantly.

“Lily!”

James gagged inwardly at the snivelling, nasally voice of Severus Snape. Beside him, Lily
tensed up.

“What are you doing here?” He ducked infront of her, and James took pleasure in the fact that
he was taller than him.

“Studying,” She responded, her voice clipped.

“Why here??”

“Potter, Evans, are you coming?” Regulus was standing near a flight of stairs, looking at
them unimpressed.

“Yeah we’ll be right there,” James answered, waving to him, then grabbing Lily’s hand and
smiling at Severus, “Sorry Sniv- uh, Snape, Regulus is waiting,”

He pulled Lily towards where Regulus had gone up the steps, she didn’t resist. He’d always
wondered if she might still care for Snape, but by the way she avoided him like the plague, he
doubted it.

He saw Regulus duck into a room and followed him, pausing just before entering.

“Alright Lils?”

She nodded, “Fine,”

Her voice sounded tense to James, but he brushed it aside. He’d never been one to push when
it came to emotions. He found forcing someone to talk about the things that were bothering
them tended to be more of a hindrance than anything else.

Regulus was setting out some books, James knew he had a few of them but others were
definitely expensive and rare. Things only members of the noble house of Black would have.

He glanced their way and gestured vaguely to one of the beds.

“Take a seat on mine, you’ll know which one it is,”

James looked at each of the beds. Only two of them were made which narrowed the pool
down significantly. Regulus didn’t seem like the type to have a messy bed.

One of the beds had two pillows on it and the sides of the blankets were tucked into the
mattress. It had a thin green blanket over top of it and clothes folded at the bottom.

The other bed had a mountain of pillows on it. Too many for James to count at a glance. A
huge black comforter was tossed over the mattress, it seemed warm and James wasn’t sure
he’d want to get out of bed if that was what his bed looked like. It also had a strange ceiling.

There were canopies on Hogwarts beds and students tended to decorate them-- and the
bedposts-- to add some of themself to the dorm. The marauders had all carved their initials on
their respective canopies song with an ‘m’ on Sirius’ bedpost. They’d made it so that their
mark could never be removed.

The bed James was looking at now, with more pillow than mattress, had the night sky on the
canopy. It reminded James of the ceiling in the great hall, but with less weather and more
stars.

James grinned and set his things down on the bed, it must be Regulus’.

The rest of the room was much tidier than James had expected.

He knew Regulus was neat, but he also knew he shared a dorm with Crouch and Rosier, who
James could only assume, weren’t clean at all. He supposed the house elves did clean up after
them, but still. James’ dorm was never like this.

The bookshelf, which Regulus was still rifling through, was organised perfectly. There
weren’t any clothes or sweets on the floor. The only mess was the unmade beds and loose
piece of parchment by one of the wardrobes.

James looked up at the display on Regulus’ canopy, eyes instinctively searching for two stars.

Sirius was easy to find, it shone brightly here just as it did in real life, and their star was just
to its left.

Maybe he should ask Regulus the name of it, he was sure to know.

“Your room is so clean!” Lily exclaimed bewildered as Regulus sat down with them on his
bed. Since it was so small, his knee was touching James’ thigh. James was a bit ashamed to
admit how much he was aware of the small amount of touch.

Regulus frowned, “I suppose? Is yours not?”

Lily shook her head, “Mine is fine, its his-,” She pointed a finger accusingly at James, “-
that’s awful,”

James gasped dramatically, “You wound me Evans! I'll have you know, Moony did some
picking up there today!”

Of course he’d only cleaned his and Peter’s sections of the room which meant James and
Sirius’ side was still a mess, but he wasn’t about to embarrass himself. Not in front of
Regulus, who was apparently the cleanest person to walk the earth.

Regulus scrunched his nose, an action that was far too cute for someone so prickly, “You
realise the house elves have to clean up after you, right?”
James felt his face heat up, he’d forgotten about Regulus’ fondness for house elves, “It's not
like I do it on purpose!” He protested, “It just sort of happens!”

Regulus rolled his eyes, muttering something that sounded foreign under his breath.

James grinned, an idea forming in his mind, “Wait, does Lily know you speak french?”

Regulus raised an eyebrow, “I don’t exactly go around advertising it, so no, I can’t imagine
she does,”

“Actually,” Lily interrupted, “You mutter in french a lot when you’re painting,”

Regulus blushed-- merlin he was adorable-- and looked away from them. “Do I? I haven’t
noticed,”

“Say something in french!” James demanded. He'd be lying if he didn’t regret not learning a
second language, maybe one day he would teach himself spanish.

“Aren’t we supposed to be studying?”

“That can wait,’ Lily said, “I want to hear you speak french now,”

Regulus set aside his notebook, “What do you want me to say?”

“Anything!”

He rolled his eyes, “I hate it when people say that,”

He sat back, sinking into his stack of pillows, then looked at James and Lily for a moment or
two.

“Alright,” He sat back up, “Je suis le vôtre. Depuis que je vous ai vus, je suis devenu
entièrement le vôtre,"

James grinned, he’d been able to convince Regulus to speak French for him once or twice
and each time he’d marvelled at how easily the syllables rolled off his tongue.

His r’s rolled in the back of his throat. His s’s sounded secretive. His v’s were sharp and
defined. It reminded James of when he’d heard Regulus play the piano, just that once (he
hadn’t dared ask again).

Everything Regulus did had a musicality to it.

He sang instead of speaking, his fingers danced instead of twitched, his smile didn’t shine, it
destroyed. Like a ballet dancer bruising and beating their toes to be able to work them in
pointe shoes. Like a singer screaming.

“What does that mean?” Lily asked.

“It means we should study,”

James had a suspicion Regulus was lying, but didn’t push.

REGULUS

Regulus had self control. He’d always been the type to think first, act second.

The problem was, when James and Lily were concerned, he couldn’t think. He became
trapped by them. Their easy conversation, thoughtless touches, simple smiles.

And he got himself in positions like this one.

Studying with them, if you could even call it that, was one of the most difficult moments of
Regulus’ life.

James had a book lying open beside him but he hadn’t looked at it in quite some time. His
head was resting on Lily’s lap and she was running her fingers through his hair.

Regulus felt very much like an intruder. Then Lily would look up and smile at him or James’
hand would brush against his and electricity would rush through him and suddenly it wasn’t
James and Lily, it was all three of them, if only for a moment.

Lily stretched her arms into the air, like a cat in a ray of sun, “We should probably get back to
the dorm, you’ve got practice right?”

James glanced at the clock on Regulus’ wall and shot up straight, “I do!” He grabbed his bag
from where he’d tossed it, “See you later sunshine!”

“Wait James!” Lily scrambled off the bed, laughing, “I’m coming as well, hang on!”

Regulus suppressed the urge to laugh, waving to the pair as they rushed out of the door.

The room filled with an uncomfortable quiet once they were gone.

Regulus sighed to the empty dorm and gathered the books to put away. He was doing a
horrible job at avoiding them, but in his defence, they were making it very difficult.

It was particularly cruel, as they didn’t exclude Regulus in the slightest. He could handle it if
they just pretended he wasn’t there, that was how they should have been doing it but they
weren’t. For moments, Regulus almost forgot he was an outsider in their perfect relationship.
He almost forgot he wasn’t meant to even stand near them.

Regulus relaxed on his bed, staring at his canopy.

It was no use trying to avoid them, and he didn’t have the bravery to make them hate him. He
should push them away, like he’d tried to do with Joston, but he just couldn’t. He couldn't
hurt them.
Regulus groaned, he needed another brain. One that wasn’t too much like his parents to be
brave and too much like Sirius to be awful.

The door opened with a creak and Regulus heard his friends' voices. He could place
Pandora’s easily and was pretty certain he heard Evan and Barty and Joston? Maybe?

He poked his head out, confirming who it was.

“Regulus?” Joston raised her eyebrow, “You want to explain why Lily Evans and James
Potter just came out of your room?”

Regulus sat up then sunk into his pillows. He was very grateful for them, “Study group,”

“Merlin if I knew you were that starved for study partners I’d have offered,” Evan quipped,
throwing his coat in the direction of the wardrobe.

Regulus glared at his uncleanliness, “Can you please hang that up?”

Barty did it for both of them, then sat on the side of Regulus’ bed, “Is there a reason you’re
trying to succumb to your pillows? Or is today just that kind of day?”

Regulus glared at him and opened his mouth to deny the accusations, but… hadn't he just
been asking for another brain? And now four had come in. Well, three and a half, Evan didn’t
really count.

“There’s a reason,” He answered. The sores around his nails had been healing thanks to
Pandora’s experiments and Lily’s solution, he hadn’t even been picking at it that much.

“You want to share it?”

Regulus swallowed harshly, he didn’t want to share it, he wanted to shove it into the depths
of his mind and forget it existed. But that hadn’t been working.

“I need advice,” he said carefully, tucking his knees up to his chest and resting his chin on
them.

“Bout what?” Evan asked through a mouthful of chocolate.

Pandora sat down next to Regulus, grabbing one of his smaller pillows and putting it over her
lap, “Does it have to do with James and Lily?”

Regulus nodded, no longer surprised at Pandora’s ability to read him.

Joston and Evan sat down on the bed as well, Joston tucking up her feet underneath her,
“Does it have to do with why you’re buying James Potter Christmas gifts?”

Evan gasped, “Is that why we spent so long in the freezing cold? Because you wanted a gift
for Potter?”
“I told you to bring a warmer coat and mittens,” Regulus shot back, “And yes, but I was
looking for other gifts as well,”

“Ooo! Did you get mine?” Pandora perked up.

“Pandora!” Barty interrupted, “Regulus is trying to ask for advice and he never asks for
advice so shut up and listen,”

Regulus looked at them as they all stared at him in silence, waiting for him to say something.

He took a breath, “I’m going to tell you something, and if a word of it gets out of this room,
I’m going to shove a spike so far up you, you won’t be able to tell where it starts and you
end,”

“That’s a powerful image,”

“I mean it Evan,” He glared at the four of them, “You will not say a word,”

“How are we supposed to not say a word but give you advice?” Joston asked and Regulus’
glare deepened. He was not in the mood for snark.

“Just tell us Lucy,” Pandora urged, “We won’t judge you,”

Regulus chewed his lip, “You can’t tell anyone,”

“Oh for Godric’s sake Reg,” Evan raised his hand in a mock solute, “I swear on my mum’s
arse or whatever the hell you want me to swear on, just tell us!”

Regulus took another breath and averted his gaze, “I fancy someone,”

Silence.

Then Evan’s obnoxious laughter.

“I knew it! I knew someone had caught your eye! Oh it’s Lizabeth isn't it?” He gasped and
lowered his voice mockingly, “It's not Dora is it?”

Regulus glared at him, “I fancy… two people," He paused, "Two people who are dating,”

Evan stopped laughing, any amusement dropping quickly, “Well that's a problem isn’t it?”

“Oh Lucy,” Pandora murmured sympathetically, placing a hand on his shoulder.

He looked up at his friends. Evan and Pandora looked sympathetic, Joston looked concerned,
and Barty looked… knowing.

Oh fuck.

“Who is it Regulus?” He asked.

Regulus didn’t answer, just shut his eyes tightly.

“Regulus,” Barty said. He knew, “Its not-”

“It is,”

“It's not!”

“It is!” He wailed and Barty scoffed leaning back against one of the bedposts.

“What?” Evan asked, “Who is it?”

Regulus looked up at him, there wasn’t a chance he was saying it out loud.

“It's Potter and Evans!” Joston exclaimed, surprise twisting her face.

Evan’s mouth dropped open, “Potter?? And Evans??”

“That’s why he’s been spending so much time with them!” Barty accused, “Because he’s
fallen in love with them,”

“You said you wouldn’t judge!”

“No Pandora said we wouldn’t judge,” Evan laughed, “God what will your brother think?”

Regulus groaned, he hadn’t even thought about Sirius. Not that it would matter much,
nothing would ever come of it.

“Well they’re very nice,” Pandora offered, still rubbing small circles into Regulus’ arm,
“Although liking both of them is a bit greedy don’t you think?”

“I know!” Regulus exclaimed, “I’ve been trying to avoid them but it's hard, they just
constantly want to be spending time with me! It's like they want me to fall in love! I’m in
misery! Complete and utter misery! And I’m going to be alone with them! For winter break!
They will have so many opportunities to ambush me!”

“The three of us will be there,” Joston protested, gesturing to herself, Pandora and Evan.

“No, Pandora will be with stupid Xenophilius, you’ll be off with Mary and Evan doesn’t
count as a person!”

“That’s a bit harsh,”

“Shut up Evan,” Barty snapped, then sighed, “I will stay for break and keep you apart,”

Regulus stared at Barty. Wonderful, perfect, saviour Barty, “You’re staying?”

“Well I am now!”

Okay,” Regulus muttered, “And you’ll help me get rid of,” He paused, “it,”

“The feelings?” Barty asked, “Well I can’t promise that, I can try but I’ve never done an
exorcism on love before,”
“I don’t want you to exorcize anything,” He sighed, leaning back into his pillows, “I just
want it to stop,”

“Aw Lucy,” Pandora leaned into his side, “Have you tried talking with them about it?”

He stared at her, “Of course not! Are you mad?”

She shrugged, “It worked for Xenophilius and I,”

“Yeah well Xenophilius wasn’t in the most perfect relationship known to mankind,”

“Look on the bright side,” Joston offered, “Now that Barty’s staying we have fourteen people
for the match,”

“Great,” Regulus grumped, “Now I have more opportunity to spend time with them,”

“Don’t you think it's strange the only people staying this year are people we know?” Pandora
mused.

Barty shrugged, “Maybe the author of our story relies to much on coincidence and
convenience,”

“Hey!” Evan protested, “Don’t slander our author! They could write you out of the story,”

“Whatever,” Barty rolled his eyes and stood up, then offered a comforting smile in Regulus’
direction, “I’m sure this will sort itself out, I mean you’re plenty attractive, maybe they’ll fall
for you,”

“Stop it,” Regulus groaned, burying his face into the pillows, “I regret telling you,”

He stared up at the ceiling as his friends' voices faded into the background. He didn’t really
regret it. It felt nice to tell someone. Maybe the stuff Pandora always said, about not bottling
things up, actually had some truth to it.

SIRIUS

Ever since speaking with Regulus the night of the full moon, something had changed
between them.

Before Regulus had hurt himself, they’d been snippy with each other. After their
conversation that night, Regulus had decided to treat Sirius with a cold indifference instead.
Now, after the full moon, he completely ignored him.

Sirius had tried to start conversation, he’d tried to corner Regulus in class and after meals, but
he’d always managed to slip away.

It had put Sirius in a sour mood.

Somehow even Moony, who was the type to avoid talking about feelings no matter what, had
asked him about it when Sirius had snuck into his bed.
Sirius had brushed him off and Moony had been willing to stop asking questions as long as
Sirius kept him occupied, but since then, it had only gotten worse.

Sirius stared across the hall at his brother who was nursing his third cup of coffee.

He was sitting in between Crouch and Rosier, both of whom Sirius did not like. He knew
Rosier from various social gatherings they attended in their youth. He was also distantly
related to them. Sirius wasn’t as familiar with Crouch, but he knew he didn’t like him.

He wondered which of Regulus’ friends had introduced him to coffee because it couldn’t
have been his parents. His mother believed coffee was a gateway to sin.

“Padfoot?”

Sirius looked up at James who had tapped him on the arm,

“Everything alright? You’ve barely spoken,”

Sirius nodded, “Fine,” He looked in Regulus’ direction again, he was on a fourth cup, “Just
stressed about that Charms essay,”

James frowned, but dropped it anyway. He started going on about something inconsequential
to Lily, drawing everyone’s attention to him and away from Sirius.

He’d been repeating the words Regulus had said again and again, ike a mantra in his head.

A blood traitor and a disappointment. Not his brother. Not meant to be fixed.

He wasn’t thinking about it because it hurt him. It did, but he’d been hearing things like that
his whole life, he was numb to it. The words looped in his head like a broken record because
of how Regulus had said them.

Mechanic, fixed, practised, controlled, certain and uncertain at the same time.

Sirius knew he was repeating words he’d heard tossed around their house. Words their
mother had burned into his brain. Punished him for not saying them.

Sirius knew he didn’t believe them and maybe that was what was hurting. Maybe that was
what had changed.

Regulus was his brother, it had just taken a very long time for him to realise.

Moony nudged his thigh gently, bringing Sirius’ attention to him.

That was one of the few things that had been able to male Sirius feel better these past few
days. Being able to sneak into Remus’ bed every night, being able to grasp his hand under the
tabe and pull him into broom cupboards to snog him senseless.

There wasn’t much that could sour that.

“Want to go up to the astronomy tower tonight?” He muttered.

The astronomy tower had become their unofficial meeting place. The place they’d go when
they didn’t want to have to cast silencing charms so James and Peter wouldn’t hear them.

“Sure,” He responded, “You’ll head up first?”

Remus nodded and returned to pretending to listen to James. Sirius smiled, he loved him.

Honestly he wasn’t sure what was holding him back from telling their friends.

Realistically, they’d all be fine with it, encouraging even. When Marlene had told them she
was queer, everyone had accepted her with open arms. James especially.

James’ parents were the most progressive, kind people he knew and they’d raised a brilliant
son. Nothing would change, not for the worst at least.

But it terrified him.

Saying the words aloud, in front of someone who had saved him time and time again, was
terrifying.

The image of James’ face contorting in shame and disgust was terrifying. Enough to deter
him from even thinking about anything queer for a good few hours.

Then Moony would look at him and something clicked.

Classes were rather boring, McGonagall went on about some theory he didn’t care about and
no other teachers mattered to Sirius. Potions was okay, only because Moony held his hand
under the table.

He reclused to his room after that class, burying himself in some blankets and borrowing (not
stealing) Moony’s chocolate. He didn’t come down for supper despite James’ protests and
until he felt the map land on his bed and heard Moony bid James goodbye.

He creeped out of his bed as quietly as he could, grabbed the map and muttered a goodnight
to his friends. Peter had already passed out but James mumbled something that sounded
vaguely coherent.

He checked the map and saw Moony in the tower. Sirius smiled at the thought. Remus liked
to sit near the edge and dangle his legs back and forth. Sirius found it very endearing.

He liked having late night conversations with Remus, they’d always worked out for him. Late
night conversations had led to them kissing.

Moony didn’t notice him when he first arrived, he was sitting on the edge, as Sirius had
predicted, with his back turned.

“Moony?” He said tentatively and Remus turned to look at him.

For someone who hated the moon, Remus truly shone in it.

His scars gleamed, turning white and bright in the light. His eyes flickered with emotion,
thousands passing across them in an instant. Fear, recognition, love, Moony.

Remus smiled at him and patted the spot beside him, “What's a proper bloke like you doing
in parts like these?”

Sirius grinned, taking the seat Remus offered, “Meeting someone?”

“Yeah? Anyone I might know?”

Sirius shrugged, “I think you do,”

Remus hummed, letting the conversation fall flat. Sirius liked that about them. They never
forced anything, it was effortless, except for those few months where Remus hadn’t been
speaking to him. Those had been bad.

“What's wrong with you?”

Sirius chucked at Remus’ blunt tone. He’d never had much tact, thinking about it, he’d
probably get along with Regulus.

“Come on Padfoot,” Remus nudged his leg, “You’ve been weird ever since the full moon,”

Sirius sighed and leaned back, laying down on the cold stone. His shirt rode up a bit so he
could feel the floor directly on his back, he wasn’t sure if it was comforting or unnerving,
“I’m fine, don’t worry about it,”

Remus looked away from him, but not before Sirius caught him pursing his lips. His lips.
Sirius should kiss them so he wasn’t upset anymore.

Remus lay down next to him, groaning a little as he moved. Sirius watched him as his head
rested on the floor. Their eyes met and Sirius felt his mouth dry.

He was so lucky.

Lucky to be near him, to have their pinkies linked and to have Remus’ eyes on his lips.
Lucky to have met, lucky to love, lucky, lucky, lucky.

“Did I hurt you?” Remus asked quietly, “During the full moon, did I hurt you?”

Sirius’ eyes widened. He shook his head forcefully and took Remus’ hand in his own, “No,
Moony, you could never,”

“I could,”

“You didn’t,” He said firmly, “It's not you, its-”

Sirius cut himself off. He shouldn’t. What was really bothering him had nothing to do with
their conversation on the full moon. Well it had something to do with it, but mostly it
revolved around Regulus’ hands. The scars that were fading, the ones that sent a stab of guilt
through Sirius.

“It's what?” He brushed his fingers across Sirius’ brow, making him close his eyes and lean
into the contact, “Tell me Sirius, please I’m getting worried,”

Sirius kept his eyes closed, just appreciated the feeling of skin on skin. He wanted to talk
about it, he wanted to get the guilt off his chest, but merlin, he couldn’t handle it if Remus
looked at him differently.

“I want to,” He choked out, his hands were shaking at his side.

“Then do it,”

He made it sound so simple. As if he wasn’t Remus Lupin, the king of not talking about
things.

Sirius opened his eyes. Remus was looking at him. He really was worried, and he probably
had thought he’d hurt him and Sirius had kept it to himself. It wouldn’t be the first time
they’d tried that. Peter had once got a nasty scratch on his leg and begged them not to tell
Moony so he didn’t get worried.

Remus had found out and gotten upset with them, Peter especially, but they’d gotten over it.
With the promise that they wouldn’t keep things like that from him again.

Remus laced their fingers tighter, he’d taken his steps, Sirius would have to make the next
move or he’d drop it and they’d talk about something less nerve wracking.

That was one of his favourite things about Remus, he rarely pushed you to talk about things
you didn’t want to talk about.

“I talked to Regulus that night,”

Remus frowned but motioned with the hand that wasn’t holding Sirius’ that he should keep
talking.

“He said the same sort of stuff I told you about after he got hurt, nothing I didn’t expect to
hear, but the way he said it and then his hands-” Sirius looked away from Remus and sat up,
he kept a tight grasp on his hand though.

He needed a breath. He needed not to be talking about this, but he had to because if he didn’t
he’d explode.

Sirius took a breath and looked out at the scenery around them. The sky was clear tonight, he
could see most of the stars. There was Sirius, bright as ever and then up and to its left sat
Regulus.
He’d always liked Regulus’ star. It was in the lion constellation, directly next to the cancer
constellation, which happened to be Regulus’ star sign. He wondered if Regulus ever looked
up at the sky and searched for their stars.

“Did I ever tell you what happened when I left?”

Remus didn’t answer, Sirius assumed he shook his head because he knew he’d never talked
about it. He’d always said he’d gotten hurt and that was that.

“My cousins were visiting and whenever they did, Regulus always played the piano for them.
Sometimes my cousin Narcissa will sing with him but that's usually for Christmas stuff. My
parents and I had already gotten in an argument earlier that day and that always stressed Reg
out,”

There was a slight breeze tonight that cooled his cheeks. It felt nice to be able to focus on
something that always kept him calm. He’d liked the outdoors since he’d first gotten a taste
of it. His parents used to not let him outside so he’d had to sneak out to the roof and just
breathe in the fresh air.

“Regulus bites his nails and sometimes the skin around them when he’s nervous and my
mum has this curse that comes into effect when he’s inside Grimmauld where if he does it,
he’ll start to feel like he’s choking, or drowning maybe I don’t know he never really talked
about it.”

“I guess the argument really threw him off because when he came down to play for us his
hands were all bandaged up. It got so bad he started bleeding through them and he just kept
playing, I tried to get him to stop but Mum wouldn’t let me move so I shoved her off,”

Remus had sat up now, Sirius couldn’t look at him.

“She dragged me into the other room and I guess she’d just had enough of me. Started
cursing me, crucio and all that, more people started coming in, my dad, uncle, Bellatrix.
Through all of it, he wouldn’t stop playing,”

Remus had pulled him into a sort of half hug, which SIrius appreciated. He liked the feeling
of having someone pressed against him, it was nice to be reminded where he was.

“And then eventually he did, and everything felt quiet for a moment, until he screamed.
Merlin, it was the worst sound I’ve ever heard, everyone went rushing out and I could hear
my mum freaking out and-”

He sobbed, clinging tightly onto Remus. He was rubbing circles into Sirius’ back, not saying
anything.

“I left,” Sirius sobbed, “My little brother was crying and screaming and I left him and his
hands were finally healing, which means he’s doing better right? But what if he’s just numb
to it now? I’m afraid I killed him, I’m afraid I killed my baby brother,”

He broke down.
 He couldn’t stop thinking of Regulus’ hands staining the white keys, of Narcissa’s nails
digging into her thighs as she stared out of the window, of the piercing scream scorching his
ears. The sobs.

He wondered why Regulus had kept playing. If it was to drown out Sirius’ own pain, to
pretend like he wasn’t complicit in it. And Sirius knew he should hate his brother for not
helping him, for being a coward and never standing up for him, always allowing Sirius to
take the worst of it.

He couldn’t. It wasn’t Regulus’ job to protect him, it was Sirius’. Sirius was older, Sirius was
stronger, he had to be.

Still, someone had to protect him, right?

“I’m here Sirius,” Remus murmured into his hair, “It's not your fault,” He pressed a kiss to
the top of his forehead, “It's everyone else's fault, but not yours, never yours,”

Chapter End Notes

French Translations
Merde- shit
Je suis le vôtre. Depuis que je vous ai vus, je suis devenu entièrement le vôtre.- I'm
yours. Since I saw you, I became entirely yours

OH MY GOD THIS FELT LIKE IT TOOK WEEKS TO WRITE its actually just a bit
longer than usual so there ya go (about 30 pages, 7000+ words)

I'm gonna keep spreading my les mis agenda, LISTEN TO THE ORIGINAL MUSICAL
VERSION ITS SO GOOD AND ON MY OWN IS SUCH A REGULUS SONG
if you know les mis then think of Cosette as Lily, Marius as James, and Eponine as
Regulus :(

LISTEN TO THE SONG GAY PIRATES BY COSMO JARVIS ITS SO

DEVASTATING PLEASE

If you haven't been able to tell by now, these notes are often just an outlet for my
thoughts as I'm writing.

Thank you so much for reading! Comments, kudos, all that stuff is always appreciated, it
truly means the world to me!
 The Healing Consequences of Arguments
Chapter Summary

A day at Hogsmead! and then the black brothers.

Chapter Notes

I'm very rpoud of myself for getting this out, I hope you all like it, this one was kinda
difficult

See the end of the chapter for more notes

REMUS

After Sirius’ confession a few nights ago, Remus had been trying to make him feel better.

They’d slept together every night since then, Remus didn’t complain much when they had
their flying lessons, he even agreed to set off dungbombs in Slughorn's office. Still, Sirius
clung to his worries like a leech to skin.

Remus didn’t bring up exactly what they’d talked about mostly because he wasn’t sure how
to respond. He’d never been very comforting, sure he tried, but honestly, James was much
better.

His last resort, which usually worked with Sirius, was a trip to Hogsmeade. All of their
friends had agreed, and Remus imagined it was almost entirely because putting up with Sirius
when he was in a sour mood was troublesome for everyone involved.

Remus pulled his coat around himself. It was chilly out today, and Remus could see some
clouds in the distance that would create a layer of white snow on the grounds of Hogwarts.

Remus loved the snow, he never got much growing up, and when he did, he usually had to
stay inside to take care of his mother. His first snow at Hogwarts had been a memorable one.

James, Sirius and Peter had woken him up early in the morning. They dragged him to the
window in their dorm to show him the white blanket that hypnotised Remus’ young eyes.

It had been a Saturday, so they’d been able to spend the morning building snowmen and
getting into snowball fights. Remus had been on a team with Peter and while they’d lost the
competitions, Remus had never felt more like a champion.
However, as much as he loved the snow, it did not make him hate the cold any less.

His mother often described him as “more bone than skin”. He didn’t have much body fat or
muscle to keep him warm, having to rely instead on wool and cloth. He could forgive the
cold when it was accompanied by snow, but when it was simply freezing? Remus hated
winter.

“So!” James was in front of everyone, practically skipping. Unlike Sirius, James had been in
a wonderful mood. Since starting lessons with Regulus, his potions mark had improved leaps
and bounds, “Where do we want to go first?”

“How about Zonko’s? Didn’t Remus and Sirius use the last of our dungbombs a few days
ago?” Peter offered.

Lily scrunched up her nose, “Neither James, Remus, nor I will condone the purchasing of
prank paraphenalia,”

“I will!” Mary exclaimed, she was walking in between Dorcas and Marlene, their arms
linked, “The three of us will go to the shop for you”

“Where are the rest of us going then?” Sirius whined, “We were meant to be spending the day
together,”

James rolled his eyes, “You’re welcome to go with the girls if you’d like, but I am a prefect
now,” he said proudly.

“Why don’t we go to the music shop?” Remus said placatingly, he knew Sirius liked that
place.

Lily shook her head, “You four do whatever you’d like, I’m going Christmas shopping,
alone,” she added, seeing James' hopeful expression.

James recovered from the blow easily, smiling confidently and throwing an arm over Sirius’
shoulder, “Alright, the four of us will go to the Maestro’s, the girls will go to Zonko’s and
Lily will go off on her own, being boring,”

“Careful Potter, we’re not married yet, I can still get out,”

James grinned, “Yet? Thats awfully presumptuous of you Evans,”

Lily’’s ears went red and she buried her face in her scarf, muttering retorts under her breath.

“After we all finish our shopping we can go to the three broomsticks,” Marlene suggested.

“Great idea!” James said, “Now scatter!”

Mary dragged Dorcas and Marlene, in the direction of the joke shop. Lily followed behind,
blushing even darker when James blew a kiss her way.

James sighed adoringly as she left, “I can’t believe I’m dating Lily Evans,”
Remus started walking towards the music shop. He didn’t fully understand James and Lily’s
relationship. He’d loved her for years, they’d gone on a date, they’d broken up, and now they
were back together. Remus much preferred simple relationships.

Pine until it physically pains you to be around him, and then he betrays your trust but you
still love him. Then forgive him and kiss him in the same evening. A couple days of awkward
questioning and a confession. That was how Remus liked to do it.

The music shop was in between a bookstore and a cauldron shop. He’d gone in the bookstore
once but it hadn’t had much that interested him. He also had a library with every book known
to mankind at his fingertips, so he wasn’t sure why he would buy books.

“Who are we shopping for today boys?” James asked, slinging his arm over Remus and
Sirius’ shoulder’s. Peter came up by Remus’ side.

Remus shrugged James off, opening the door for them. The bells clinked as they entered and
Remus waved to the clerk. He recognized him from a charms class.

“Me,” Sirius answered, “I’ve already figured out what I’m getting everyone,”

Remus rolled his eyes, going to one corner of the store to look through the records. He’d
bought a player from here once before and gotten a lot of his records as well. The owner liked
Remus so he gave him discounts.

He hadn’t gotten any work done on his gifts this year but in his defence, Sirius had much
more free time than Remus.

The door chimed signifying someone’s arrival but Remus paid it no mind.

He supposed James might like a Beatles record but he was sure they already had most of
them.

As he sifted through the records, he began to feel slightly uneasy, like someone was near him.
Remus looked up, and saw a short girl with long blonde hair pulled into a braid.

He smiled fondly, Pandora.

Her brow was furrowed as she searched the music and she was biting her lip. She didn’t seem
to notice Remus so he returned to looking through the music.

He hadn’t liked Pandora much when they’d first met. He’d thought she was too observant,
too likely to see through Remus. She could see through him, just as he’d expected, but she
didn’t pry into it. He was half certain she knew he was a werewolf, but not saying anything
because she didn’t understand why it was such a big deal.

She was also very frank with him. Remus had never been good with people's emotions. He
couldn’t read people, or comfort them. He barely knew how to handle his own feelings half
the time.

They had something else in common as well, mothers.

He’d found out Pandora’s mum had some form of dementia on one of their rounds together.
She’d mentioned it offhandedly, and Remus had asked her more about it after a reckless
moment of bravery.

His mother was sick with something, something he was sure could be cured if they had more
money. It was different from dementia, but similar enough that Remus began to look forward
to rounds with Pandora.

Blue eyes peeked into Remus’ vision and he forced back a smile.

“Hello Pandora,”

She smiled up at him, “Hello Remus, I wasn’t sure it was you,”

He put back one of the records he'd been looking at. He wasn't going to find anything here.
Pandora had her arms full of records, most of which belonged to obscure bands Remus had
never heard of.

He motioned towards them, “Those for you?”

Pandora shook her head, “They’ll be gifts but I’m not done with them yet,”

Remus frowned. He thought he might have seen some bands in there that shouldn’t be
listened to by anyone but he was not going to judge Pandora.

“What about you? Are you getting anything?”

Remus shrugged, he wondered if he should shop for Pandora as well. Normally he only got
things for the marauders, Lily and Dorcas but this year he should probably expand that to
Mary and Marlene, “I’m looking for things,”

“Alone?”

Remus shook his head, “James, Peter and Sirius are around here somewhere,”

Pandora’s a;ready wide eyes widened and she glanced around, “Oh that’s lovely! I came with
Regulus maybe they’ll find each other,”

Remus frowned. He wasn’t sure if seeing and speaking to Regulus would help Sirius sort it
out, or if he’d prefer pretending he didn’t exist.

Remus looked around for him. He didn’t see his hair peeking over the shelves so he pulled
his gloves on and went looking. Pandora followed, prattling on about something.

They found James first, along with Regulus.

Regulus was browsing the magazines near the front of the store and James was sitting on a
counter nearby. Regulus was bundled up in scarves and coats, he had a large pair of mittens
sitting beside him, hooked on the rack, that he must have taken off to flip the pages.
James was considerably less swaddled. He was wearing his coat and a scarf to keep himself
warm. James grinned at them once he saw them approach.

“Moony! And Pandora! Look who I found,”

Remus forced a smile, “Hello James, I’m ready to leave when you are,”

He hopped off the counter, landing with a thump, “Actually I was just inviting Regulus to
come to the three broomsticks with us, Pandora you’re welcome along as well,”

“And I was just saying,’ Regulus interrupted, “That Pandora had a thing,” He looked
pointedly at her, but she just smiled, ignoring Regulus' pointed look.

Pandora was observant when she wanted to be and at no other time.

“No, I don't have anything! I’d love to come with you!”

James grinned, grabbing Regulus’ mittens and putting them on the other boys hands,
“Perfect, I’ll get Peter and Sirius and we can head out,”

Pandora went to the counter to pay for her records and Remus glanced at the clock. They’d
been there for a good while, the girls would probably already have a table for them. Lily
might still be shopping though.

Peter popped out from the corner, followed by James and Sirius. Sirius seemed on edge so
Remus offered him a smile to try and soothe him. It didn’t work. As soon as he spotted
Regulus, their gazes were fixed on each other.

Regulus straightened his back and killed any expression on his face. Sirius’ eyes widened and
he took a step towards his brother, his hand outstretched for just a moment before he
remembered where they were.

James, ever oblivious, took Pandora and Regulus by the arm and waved goodbye to the clerk.

Remus followed behind them, in line with Sirius. Peter walked beside Remus, avoiding
having to deal with the stream of questions that would come if he walked with Pandora.

“It’ll be fine,” Remus reassured, subtly squeezing Sirius’ arm.

Sirius didn’t answer, he barely spoke as they made the trek from the music shop to the pub.

Remus and Peter shared a glance. Remus doubted Sirius had shared with Peter the same thing
he’d told him, but Peter usually picked up when something was wrong. He raised his
eyebrow at Remus, silently asking if he should pry. Remus shook his head.

It had scared him, the way Sirius had broken down that night. Sirius rarely spoke about what
happened at home, if he did, he didn’t go into specifics. Maybe he had with James, but never
to Peter or Remus. All Remus knew was from his scars.
To see it all spill over. To hear what finally forced him out, what pushed him too far, Remus
couldn’t help but wish Sirius never open up to him again.

It wasn’t a kind thought, but Remus had never advertised himself as kind. He’d never say
these things to Sirius anyway.

Marlene and Dorcas had grabbed a table for everyone in the back and Remus saw Mary
ordering butterbeers from Madam Rosmerta.

Marlene raised her eyebrow upon spotting Regulus and Pandora, “I don’t remember saying
we could bring plus ones,” she said indignantly.

James sat down next to her, “I don’t remember you saying we couldn’t,”

“We can go,” Regulus offered, jumping at the opportunity to escape, “it's not a big deal, I’m
sure Evan’s waiting,”

“Don’t mind her,” Dorcas smiled, scooching closer to Marlene to make room for everyone,
“She’s prickly because she’s paying for drinks today,”

“How’d she get roped into that?” Remus asked, sliding in next to Dorcas. Sirius took the seat
next to him, sliding his hand on Remus’ leg.

“Lost a bet with Mary,”

Remus ahh’d. Most people knew better than to bet against Mary but Marlene was a habitual
person. She wasn’t the type to learn from her mistakes.

Just as Peter slid in next to Sirius, Mary arrived back at the table.

“Madam Rosmerta said it’ll be a bit for all the drinks,” She paused, doing a mental headcount
of the people at the table, “hang on I’m seeing two Sirius’, two Marlene’s, and no Lily, what's
going on?”

Pandora smiled up at Mary, “Lucy and I are here now, but not to worry, we’ll just order
ourselves,”

“Yes,” Regulus agreed, “And I can pay for us,” He glanced at Marlene, “I’m sure you agreed
to pay without knowing we’d be here,”

Mary settled down next to Pandora and they began chatting easily. Remus should have
figured they’d get along.

Remus squeezed Sirius’ hand where it was resting on his thigh, hoping Dorcas and Peter
couldn’t see. He was happy being Sirius’ secret at the moment, and didn’t feel a strong need
to let anyone know he was soft on Sirius Black. That was a bit embarrassing.

Peter nudged Sirius, “You alright?”

He shrugged. The hand that wasn’t on Remus’ leg was on the table, his chin resting on its
palm, “Fine,”

Peter frowned and opened his mouth to speak. Remus silenced him with a glare. He was
pretty certain Sirius didn’t need to be pushed to talk about this in public, or at all.

“So you’ll both be participating in the match over winter break right?” James asked Regulus
and Pandora. When they nodded, Regulus hesitantly, he beamed, “And Joston says she’s
invited Roiser and Crouch which means we have fourteen people!”

Remus would have prefered it if they could have asked some people that weren’t generally
unpleasant to be around, but he supposed there weren’t many options. At least he was getting
better on a broom, Sirius said he might even be able to catch the snitch ig he kept at it.

“Oh fuck, about that,” Marlene said, sitting up, “My mum wants me home, I’ll be going on
the 22nd and Dorcas is coming with me,”

Remus glanced at Dorcas who was smiling behind her hand. He smiled at that. He hoped
he’d be able to take Sirius home to meet his mum soon, maybe during the summer.

“Marlene!” James groaned, “Can’t you negotiate?”

Marlene shook her head, “Absolutely not, sorry James not even you’ll convince her,”

He slumped back in his seat, pouting, then perked up when Regulus mumbled something next
to him, “What was that sunshine?”

Sirius made a noise next to him that sounded like a chicken and cat having sex.

“I just-” Regulus himself off, “I just said you could have it another day,’

James brightened, “You are the smartest person I’ve ever met,” He pulled out a piece of spare
parchment from the pocket of his coat, he didn’t start writing on it, just played with it,
making his hands move, “Does the 20th work?’”

“That's a day or two after the break starts right?” Mary asked.

James nodded, “You think that’ll work with everyone else?”

“Most people stay for the whole break,” Pandora said, “I don’t imagine they’ll have any
scheduling conflicts,”

Remus glanced at Sirius again. He was staring at Regulus who was very pointedly avoiding
his gaze.

Remus squeezed his hand from under the table.

LILY
Lily had glamoured her purchases so that her friends didn’t try and snoop when she sat with
them.

She’d gotten some books for Dorcas, candles for Mary, a Quidditch jersey for Marlene, from
one of her favourite teams, and chocolate for Remus. Sirius, she was going out to a muggle
town, and she still wasn’t sure what to get Peter. She’d thought maybe she could get him a
chess book.

She was stuck on James and Regulus though. She supposed that made sense, she wanted to
impress them most with her gifts. James had always been an expert at gift-giving and
anything he got her she was sure to cherish.

Regulus had said he was bad at gift-giving but Lily wasn’t sure. He also sometimes said he
was bad at painting.

She pulled her coat tighter around her. It had begun to snow and she couldn’t wait to be
inside the warmth of the three broomsticks.

She arrived at the large wooden door, brushing some of the snow off her hair as she entered.
She spotted her friends laughing loudly at a table in the back and smiled, waving to Mary
once she saw her.

“Hi Mary,” She said, setting her bags down and taking a seat next to her. Immediately she
noticed there were two more people than she’d expected. Pandora waved to her, ever friendly,
and Regulus offered an awkward nod.

She grinned, he was so adorable.

“Hi Lils,” Mary replied, sliding closer to Pandora to make room, “James was just tell us
about Regulus’ art,” she raised an eyebrow teasingly, “More specifically, the subject of the
art,”

Lily blushed, she was a bit pissed it wasn’t her secret anymore, and worried for how Sirius
was going to react, but she’d get over it.

Regulus, because of the amount of people sitting at one booth, was pressed up against James,
their legs practically draped over each other. He had a clump of garments in front of him,
ranging from scarves to toques to mittens. He must have been cold.

“Now why wouldn’t you tell us about becoming a model?” Dorcas demanded, “I thought you
were dying or something,”

Lily gaped, “Why would you think that?!”

“You were always gone,” Marlene reasoned, she had her hand around Dorcas’ waist, “Dorcas
was tearing her hair out, quite literally now,”

Marlene was referring to Dorcas’ newly undone hair. She’d taken her locs out revealing a
coily head of black hair. She usually pulled it up into a bun but today she’d let it loose. In
order to return to her natural hairstyle she’d had to pull out the faux braids.
“Well I’m very sorry to worry you Dorcas,” Lily ordered a butterbeer from a passing server,
“But if you had asked I would have told you,”

“How was I supposed to know you were going to be so agreeable?”

“As I was saying,” James interrupted, “Regulus is refusing to show us his masterpiece,”

He pulled Regulus into his side as he spoke. It was simple, natural.

Lily wished she could be as easily affectionate with Regulus. She wanted to be able to touch
him as casually as James but she couldn’t stop her thoughts from racing. She was so afraid
she’d scare him away.

“Regulus never shows his stuff,” Pandora interrupted, “I’ve seen it in process, but never the
final product,”

Regulus seemed to be trying to sink into the booth. He was avoiding any and all eye contact
which made Lily smile.

“How’d your shopping go Lily?” Remus asked. His hair was messy from the outside wind
and he had a scone in front of him, “I see its started to snow,”

She nodded, “it started just as I was walking over here,” She held up her bag for everyone to
see, “The gifts I bought are in here and none of you will be peeking,”

Groans erupted from all around the table.

“Oh come on Lils!” Peter whined, “You can’t tempt us like that! It’s like that myth you were
telling me about Sirius, what was it?”

Sirius spoke for the first time since Lily came to the table, “Tantalus,” He said, his voice
tight. His leg was bouncing under the table and he was staring at Regulus, who was
stubbornly looking at his butterbeer.

Unaware of the atmosphere, James leaned forward, “That’s where that tantalising comes
from, yeah?”

Sirius nodded. His arms were crossed in front of his chest and his stare had deepened into a
frowned, “Surely you remember it Reg?”

Regulus raised his eyes to meet Sirius’ gaze, “Vaguely,”

“Oh come on now,” Sirius leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table, he had a
determined glint in his eyes, “I’m sure you know it well, why don’t you tell us?”

Regulus’ glare hardened, “I’m sure I don’t,”

James caught on to the tension and looked panicked at Lily. She motioned with wide eyes
between the brothers hoping James would catch on. They needed to change the subject. Mary
and Marlene weren’t going to do it because they seemed interested in the argument, Dorcas
and Peter were too awkward, and Pandora was staring into space. Remus was their only other
hope and she couldn’t get his attention.

James cleared his throat and sat forward, catching Regulus’ wrist in his hand. Regulus had
slim wrists, he had a slim figure all together, so James’ hand could fit all the way around it.

“Well I’m sure I’m bored with this conversation,” He grinned and motioned for a waiter to
come over, “Could we please have another round for the table, its on McKinnon’s tab,”

The waiter nodded and walked away before Marlene could protest.

“James Potter, you dick!” Marlene swatted at him, making contact as she was sitting directly
next to her, “I’m not the rich one at this table am I? You pay for your own drink Mr, ‘Lives in
a mansion and has a summer mansion,’”

“I’m sure Regulus could pay for everyone no problem,” Sirius taunted, venom oozing out of
his voice.

“You could as well, after that inheritance from Uncle Alphard,” Regulus retorted quickly,
never one to take a taunt lying down.

“That’s nothing compared to your vault at Gringotts,”

Mary leaned over to Lily, lowering her voice to a whisper, “Are they insulting each other…
based on who’s richer?”

Lily frowned. Sirius and Regulus continued to lob insults back and forth and Lily realised
Mary was right. They didn’t want to be dubbed, “the richest”. It was absolutely ridiculous.

Lily studied Sirius more closely. He had a triumphant glint in his eyes, he was smirking, his
leg wasn’t bouncing up and down under the table anymore. He was enjoying this Lily
realised. She wondered if an argument had been his intention all along.

Regulus was the complete opposite. His jaw was clenched and his eyes were narrowed. When
he wasn’t speaking, he was biting his nails, and when he was speaking, he was tearing at
them. Lily thought they’d been looking better recently, but all that seemed to be undone.

“If you want me to pay, just say the word,” Regulus snapped.

“I think it would be gentlemanly,”

“I agree that Regulus should pay,” Marlene butted in, “Anything to clear this tab,”

“Well that's not entirely fair,” Mary mused, “You did lose, you have to pay some part of it,”

Lily elbowed Mary, they shouldn’t be fueling the fire. She’d only just arrived, she didn’t want
lunch to be ruined.

“It’s fine,” Regulus said icily, pulling a small bag from his pocket. He put down a few
galleons, rather forcefully and glared at Sirius, “Happy? That should be more than enough,”
Sirius opened his mouth to respond, but was interrupted by James.

“That’s amazing sunshine,” He put a hand over Regulus’ which were shaking ever so slightly.
Lily was glad he stopped him from picking, he might hurt himself if he kept it up, “I think
Marlene’s pride has been damaged enough as payment,”

“Hear, hear,” Marlene agreed, “I’ll never bet against Mary again,”

The waiter came by with a tray of butterbeers and easy conversation resumed.

Sirius kept to himself for most of the time, which was unlike him. As did Regulus, though
that wasn’t difficult to believe. Eventually, Madam Rosmerta came over, her hip jutted out
and a playful glare on her face.

“Alright you lot, you’ve been here long enough, pay and get out of my pub,”

James smiled sheepishly and handed over Regulus’ galleons, “Sorry Madam Rosmerta,”

They all began to file out of the booth as they spoke, Lily made sure to remember her gift
bag, “Thank you for the butterbeer!” She called over her shoulder as they left.

As soon as she made it outside, she shivered. It had started snowing much harder now, with
fat, light, snowflakes floating down. She glanced around them, aiming to do a head count, but
getting distracted.

Regulus wasn’t wearing his full snow protection uniform yet and his hair was naked to the
world. He was only wearing one black scarf that blended into the rest of his dark clothing.

He was a charming chaos of contrasts. His sharp jawline and cheekbones against his soft
eyes. His pink cheeks against porcelain skin. His night hair against white snow.

Lily couldn’t help but stare at him.

His head was tilted to the sky, his lips were parted and his eyes were closed. as if accepting or
appreciating something. What, Lily couldn’t be sure. His hands shook from the cold,
clutching his hat and mittens. He’d only been outside for a moment, but his nose and cheeks
were already rosy.

She wished she could paint like he could; Regulus would make the most beautiful model.

His gaze shifted her way and a small smile painted his lips, he slipped on his mitten’s, hat,
and scarves, “Sorry for barging in on your lunch,”

Lily blinked, then realised he was waiting for an answer, “It’s no problem,” She answered, “I
like spending time with you,”

She wasn’t sure if he flushed darker then, or if it was just the cold.

SIRIUS
Sirius knew he wasn’t the most emotionally intelligent person. He knew he overreacted to
things, was petulant and jealous, stubborn and needy. But he’d thought maybe this time he’d
sort it out. He’d be the responsible one.

Regulus had thrown him off again. Sirius had been doing poorly since the night in the
astronomy tower with Remus. Whoever said talking about things helped, was a dirty liar.
Putting what had happened into words only made him feel worse.

He knew what Remus had said was true. It wasn’t his fault, but he couldn’t help feeling like it
was.

The choking weight of Regulus’ scarred hands held tight against his neck. They gripped
harder and harder until it all exploded during lunch today.

He hadn’t expected to have to face his brother so soon, he’d thought about it, what he might
say or do, but hadn’t really wanted it to happen while the wound was still so fresh.

Sirius dragged a hand through his hair frustratedly. He was scouring the castle for Regulus
but was unsuccessful.

After a chastisation from James- that sounded suspiciously like Euphemia- Sirius felt awful.
He needed to find Regulus, find him and make it better.

Problem was, Regulus was a slippery bastard.

Pandora said he was either painting or in the kitchen. She, as well as Lily and James, refused
to tell him where Regulus painted and he wasn’t in the kitchens. Sirius could wait for him in
the great hall come meal time, but he knew Regulus didn’t eat super with everyone else often.

Sirius had gone to the library and asked Madam Pince if she’d seen him but she was as
unknowing as him. He’d checked the Quidditch pitch and his common room, though he’d
been shooed out rather quickly.

He’d even undergone the torture of speaking to Crouch for Regulus’ sake and nothing had
come of it.

Sirius groaned and started pacing.

What would Regulus think if Sirius had promised he’d fix them and then gone right around to
provoke him during a friendly chat? He’d never take Sirius seriously again.

Sirius needed to find him.

He should have known Regulus wasn’t like him. Sirius thrived in arguments, Regulus
shrivelled. Sirius was used to having to defend himself through wordy jabs and sharp
tongues. It was how he survived in his youth and how he rebelled once he got older. He
didn’t think Regulus would hate it so much.

Sirius needed to find him.

It made sense that arguments made Regulus uncomfortable. He’d always been a peacekeeper
and avoider. He preferred to follow the tide to please people. Sirius remembered when his
other still insisted he eat with them. The meals would almost always erupt in shouting
matches across the table.

Sirius needed to find him.

One supper, during the summer before Sirius’ third year, Regulus had broken down into tears
when their mother had said something particularly cruel to Sirius. He wasn’t sure how their
parents had punished him but he did know that Regulus didn’t cry during arguments
anymore. He cried during the nights, Sirius could always hear it, but during supper he would
stare blankly at his plate and push food around.

Sirius needed to find him.

He stopped pacing for a moment and glared out the window to his right. He could just barely
see his reflection. He looked tired and his hair was a mess. Sirius groaned. Then noticed a
door in front of him.

He frowned, he could have sworn it wasn’t there a moment ago.

It was wooden with an ornate handle. Like the type his mother would have killed for. He
could hear soft music coming from inside the room.

He twisted the knob and pushed open the door.

Inside was a pretty room with a large piano in the back centre and a lit fireplace. In front of
the piano, sat a familiar mass of black hair. He was playing a piece Sirius didn’t know the
name of, but recognised.

Sirius would never admit how pleased he was that his parents had taught Regulus to play the
piano. He’d always thought it was so beautiful. Until that one day, where he’d left, he’d
found Regulus playing to be one of the most beautiful sounds in the world.

There was a sofa behind Regulus that Sirius made his way to. He sat on the backrest of it and
closed his eyes, just listening to the music.

It was a simple piece with chords that alternated in the left hand and the right hand carrying
the melody. It seemed to go round and round in circles, a never ending loop of notes. Sirius
wondered if Regulus enjoyed playing as much as Sirius enjoyed listening to him. If it
reminded him of simpler times, or if he couldn’t separate it from the night Sirius left and his
hands bled more than he could stomach.

The piece changed into a more upbeat tune with more complex fingering. Sirius still had his
eyes closed, but from the force of the notes played, he could tell Regulus was playing with
his whole body. That he was following the hands with his torso and feeling the motions of the
piece.
Sirius heard a sob escape someone's mouth and his eyes flew open. He sat up immediately
and brought his hand to his cheek, making sure it wasn’t him that was crying.

He could feel dampness on his cheeks, but as the sobs continued and Sirius’ mouth stayed
firmly closed, he realised it was Regulus who was making noise.

He pushed himself off the backrest of the couch and cret closer to Regulus. He knew Regulus
knew he was there, he must have noticed at this point, but still moved quietly, not wanting to
startle him.

He sat next to Regulus, watching his hands dance across the keys. The piano itself was old
and broken down. He noticed a few notes were out of tune and darkened from years of
playing.

Wherever Regulus’ thumb hit, appeared a dot of red. He’d bit his nails so badly they were
bleeding. It was sickeningly reminiscent of the night Sirius had left.

Sirius put a hand over Regulus’, pausing the movements.

Regulus froze instantly, his hands stilling where they had been playing. He didn’t look up at
Sirius, but Sirius could still hear the choking cries.

Sirius took his hands off the piano and clasped them on his own.

“Versailles,” He murmured. It was a childhood nickname for Regulus. When they’d learnt
about the French monarchy and the fall of it, Regulus had felt so poorly for the castle that he
thought was beautiful, their tutor had started calling him Versailles. Sirius had picked up on
the habit quickly.

Regulus let out another sob. His hands were shaking where they were holding Sirius’.

Sirius should let Regulus take the next step, like he did with Moony.

He stayed still, rubbing small circles into Regulus’ hands. His blood was getting on their
hands staining them ever so slightly but Sirius didn’t pay it any mind. He waited for Regulus
to move.

Eventually, he looked up.

Regulus’ eyes were puffy and red, stark against his pale skin. His lips were damp from tears
that had managed to fall towards his mouth. His whole body was trembling, his eyes showed
fear, apprehension, acceptance and a boyish reliance all at once.

Sirius pulled him tightly into a hug, he knew he couldn’t look much better than Regulus, with
the silent tears he’d been letting out, but Regulus was his little brother, he shouldn’t be crying
like that.

Regulus held him just as tightly, crying freely into Sirius’ chest. He sputtered out apologies
and pleads that Sirius accepted and placated.
 There was much more to be said, more wounds to be sealed, more bruises to heal. But with
that embrace, with those whispered incomprehensible apologies, Sirius felt spmething inside
him slide into place with a satisfying click.

Chapter End Notes

If you're interested, I was listening to the undertale soundtrack piano version when
writing Sirius' part.

The nickname "Versailles," is something I came up with because of the song Fourth of
July by Sufjan Stevens. It's very much a Regulus-Sirius song in my opinion and one of
the lyrics is "My Little Versailles,". Versailles was the name of the palace that Louis
XVI and Marie Antoinette lived in and was pretty much ransacked during the French
Revolution.

I don't know if you can tell through this fic, but I'm always a sucker for nicknames

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 The Sweet Consequences of Affection
Chapter Summary

Relationships are built on affection right?

Chapter Notes

This is just fluff

See the end of the chapter for more notes

REGULUS

Regulus had started to frequent James’ dorm room more and more often, especially now that
the castle was mostly empty.

They were always meant to be studying but it tended to devolve into long conversations
about nothing in particular. Lily would join them sometimes and more often than not, James
managed to convince Regulus to allow him to play music in the background.

That resulted in multiple supposed study sessions turning into dance classes.

James and Regulus, being pureblood, both learned how to ballroom dance since they were
children but Lily was inexperienced. James enlisted Regulus’ help in teaching her, and
against his better judgement, he agreed.

Regulus had never enjoyed dancing that much. He prefered to play the piano and let others be
the centre of attention. It wasn’t too bad when James and Lily were there. They made it
bearable, even enjoyable.

He was leaning against the wall on James’ bed, his legs crossed in front of him and a
transfiguration book open on his lap, when he heard James get up and walk towards the
record player in the corner of their room.

He frowned and put down his quill, the inkpot was resting on a textbook and he was careful
not to knock it over, “What are you doing?”

Lily glanced up from where she was lying on James’ bed. She wasn’t doing any studying,
just reading for the fun of it, but had insisted on joining them today. Regulus wasn’t about to
complain.
He’d been in a stable mood since seeing Sirius in the Come and Go room. Not a good mood
per se, there were still far too many worries humming in his mind for it to be good, but a
stable one. He wasn’t worrying about the holidays, was managing his troublesome emotions
towards James and Lily rather well, and had somewhat patched things up with Sirius.

Keyword being somewhat.

“What does it look like I’m doing??” James asked, his back facing Regulus, his was fiddling
with the needle of the player, “I’m putting on music sunshine, we’ve done enough studying,”

Regulus frowned at his notes. Professor McGonagall had been speaking with him about
finishing his transformation process before the school year was over. He should really be
focusing.

The song James was playing relied mostly on guitar and the singer’s voice to carry its tune.
Regulus liked those kinds of songs, he preferred them to the busy songs he usually associated
with muggle music. It was simple and pretty.

James didn’t begin dancing to it like Regulus thought he might have. He simply came back to
the bed, sitting down next to Regulus.

Regulus was very aware of every inch of him that was touching James. Their thighs were
pressed together, James’ shoulder could be touching his if he just moved back an inch,
James’ hand was resting on his leg.

Regulus inhaled sharply when James moved forward, placing his chin on Regulus’ shoulder.
James’ easy affection, and Lily’s indifference towards it, was something that shocked
Regulus. He wasn’t used to people being so overt with him. Physical touch was so rare in his
life, he hadn’t realised how much he craved it until James showed him.

“Can’t you put the books away for a second?” James whined. Regulus could feel his breath
breeze across his ear, making him shiver.

Lily folded the corner of the page of her book and closed it. Wrecking the book like that
made Regulus wince but he let it slide. He supposed it only made sense Lily had a few flaws,
other than that, she was quite perfect.

“I don’t mind if Regulus is done,” She put the book on the bedside table and crawled towards
Regulus coming up on his other side.

James’ bed wasn’t large enough to fit three people in a row without them being very
squished, so Regulus ended up having to straighten his legs to avoid touching Lily and James
as much as possible.

James’ affection had unleashed some insatiable beast inside of Regulus that reared its ugly
head every time someone touched him. He leaned towards it now, welcoming affection with
open arms. Barty and Evan had even taken note, sharing glances every time Regulus would
close his eyes and lift his head towards a hand ruffling his hair.
It was worse when it was James or Lily. Touch from them was disorienting, he melted into it,
lowering his defences more than ever. He couldn’t say no to it.

Regulus closed his book, making a mental note of the page number, and put his notes near the
end of the bed, “I suppose we could take a moment to rest,”

Regulus let himself lean back, coming to rest inbetween James and Lily.

“When do you think you’ll be done with the portrait Regulus?” Lily asked, she leaned her
head onto Regulus’ shoulder, their hands could intertwine if Regulus made the move to do it.
He wondered if he could pass it off as a friendly gesture.

“I’m just adding the finishing touches,” He replied. He shouldn’t grab her hand, it wouldn’t
be platonic, he couldn’t take advantage of her kindness like that.

“I can’t believe you wouldn’t let us see it,” James moped. He stretched his arms out, one
coming to rest on Regulus’ shoulders. He began to play absentmindedly with Regulus’ hair,
Regulus wondered briefly if James was aware of the effect he had on him, if he was doing it
on purpose and laughed about it later with Lily.

“Don’t take it personally,” Regulus said. Had Lily moved her hand closer to his? Or was it
just his imagination?

“You’ve shown me bits of it,” Lily said, “The first time I modelled for you, I saw some. Is
there a reason you don’t show people?”

Regulus shrugged. His work was something personal to him. At home, he’d been forced to
show the things he created to people, it was nice that here, he had something that was entirely
his own. If he were to show them to anyone, it certainly wouldn’t be the two people he was in
love with.

“Well maybe one day we’ll get to see your masterpieces,” James said, “Pandora’s said she’ll
show me hers once she’s done the whole amortentia collection,”

“That could take a while,” Regulus responded. Pandora had decided to do all the scents
Regulus had taken note of, even the ones she’d deemed boring like Peter and Sirius. She said
it would be a challenge. She most likely wouldn’t be done until the end of the year.

James shrugged, “I don’t mind waiting,” He grinned, “I’m a patient guy,”

Regulus rolled his eyes, though he knew it was true.

James had waited years so Lily, a few months for the sake of a couple paintings must seem
small in comparison.

Regulus was glad he wasn’t arrogant like Sirius. He didn’t trick himself into thinking he’d
interrupt their relationship. He knew once James passed potions this year and Regulus
finished his piece, they’d go back to indifference towards him and Regulus would continue to
love, from afar.
Regulus was Eponine, Elayne, and Antonio. He would love and love, until his devotion killed
him and they would always come first. No matter how horribly they hurt him, no matter what
they asked of him, he was theirs.

He supposed it must be his punishment for the many mistakes he’d made, to love forever
unrequited.

There were moments where he thought perhaps the hurt would burn him enough to scare him
away. Moments he could move from James’ smile and Lily’s eyes.

And then there were moments like these. Lily’s hand intertwined in his, James’ fingers curled
in his hair, all three of their legs tangled together. They were talking about something but
Regulus couldn’t hear it over the deafening feeling of them.

James’ eyes and Lily’s smile. Lily’s hair and James’ hands.

And Regulus’ leech-like love.

SIRIUS

James was off somewhere, probably with Lily. Peter was in the common room with Marlene.
And Moony was right there.

Moony was right there and Moony was kissing Sirius,

Sirius sighed into his boyfriend’s mouth. He could stay here, locked under Remus’ body, for
hours.

Chest pressed against Moony, lips pressed against Moony, hand curled in Moony’s hair, hand
curled on Moony’s waist, tight jeans, loose smiles.

Sirius could destroy himself in Remus Lupin. And he’d love every second of it.

Remus pulled away, much to Sirius’ dismay, and sat up on his heels. Sirius pushed himself up
onto his elbows and cocked an eyebrow towards Remus.

“Why’d you stop?” He demanded.

Remus glared at him but the effect was undone by his mussed up hair, hazy eyes and plump
lips, “James or Peter will be back any second,”

Sirius rolled his eyes and pushed himself closer to Remus, wrapping his arms around his
waist and looking up at him. Remus wasn’t that much taller than him, only an inch or two
(three or four if you asked James), but when he was sitting on Sirius' lap, he had the height
advantage more so than usual.

“So?” Sirius shrugged, grinning at Moony, “Let them come in,”

Remus returned the smile but shook his head, “You don’t mean that,”
“Why not? It’s not like they’ll care,”

Remus just shook his head again, pressing a soft kiss to Sirius’ nose and trying to escape
from Sirius’ hold on him.

“What? You ashamed of me or something?” Sirius teased, tightening his grasp. If he weren’t
fresh off the high of snogging Moony, he might have agreed that they should be careful, but
he was. And he was addicted.

“No,” Remus responded, his voice lowered into a gentle murmur, he shifted forward so that
their foreheads were touching and he was practically speaking into Sirius’ mouth. Sirius
could just lean forward, less than an inch, and they’d be touching, “But you don’t want to let
James or Peter know,” He reminded Sirius.

Reminded Sirius that he’d been the one to plead with Remus to keep them a secret until he
stopped feeling the guilt that he did as soon as he left Remus’ bed in the mornings. And
Remus, perfect, brilliant, Remus, had agreed. And was apparently sticking to it.

Sirius was thankful Remus didn’t shove his words back in his face, tell him that he was the
ashamed one, no matter how true it was, Sirius didn’t like to hear it.

It wasn’t that he wanted to be ashamed of Moony, he’d never want that. He wanted to show
Remus to the whole world but he didn’t want them to remember that he showed them. He
didn’t want to commit to telling people, once it was out there, it was out there, and that was
that.

Still, Sirius didn’t let go of Remus, “They won’t be back,”

“You can’t be sure, James had the map,”

Sirius grinned and let one arm go of Remus. He fished around where his bed was pressed up
against the wall until he found the parchment he’d been looking for. He pulled their map out
triumphantly and waved it in front of Remus’ face.

“I nicked it,” He said through a grin, then tossed it towards his bedside table, he missed
because of course he did, but Remus didn’t get off of him which he took as a win.

“You’re awful Padfoot,” Remus said fondly, finally caving to Sirius’ demands and wrapping
his arms around his neck.

He pushed Sirius’ back onto the bed and kissed him.

Maybe kissing wasn’t the right word, but Sirius didn’t have the mind right now to think of the
perfect one.

MARLENE

Marlene always liked Dorcas’ natural hair. She’d straightened it for so long until around mid-
last year. Just before they’d started properly dating actually.
The summer after that, Marlene had poured all her energy into learning how to care for
Dorcas’ hair type. She’d always had pin-straight hair so learning about Dorcas’ curls had
been different and her mother had wondered why she was spending so much time learning
about hair that she didn’t even have but Marlene was pleased with herself.

Then Dorcas had come back to school with long tight braids that Marlene thought were
beautiful but she couldn’t put into practice any of the research she’d done.

Now Dorcas had taken out her braids and her hair was back to its poofy curls which meant
Marlene could show off her skills.

Dorcas sat in a chair in Marlene’s dorm, plenty of hair products laid out in front of her.

“Are you sure you know what you’re doing?” Dorcas asked suspiciously, handing Marlene
one of the creams she used.

“Yes,” Marlene reassured her, rubbing her shoulders, “I did lots of reading,”

She opened the small bottle of cream and began to lather her fingers with it. She recognised
the brand from her reading.

“Reading is different from actually doing,”

“Oh shush,” She began to massage the cream into Dorcas’ scalp, trying to remember all the
techniques she learned, “I promise I will not ruin your lovely lovely curls,” She pressed a kiss
into her girlfriend's cheek.

She didn’t do much talking as she worked, it was her first time actually working with hair
like Dorcas’ and she needed to make sure she did it right. After the cream, she used a spray to
set Dorcas’ hair and started pulling it back into a ponytail.

“How is everything feeling?” Marlene asked anxiously after some time spent working with
her hair.

Dorcas shrugged, “Fine, what are you planning on doing?”

Marlene grabbed a bandana from the table and wrapped it around Dorcas, tying the knot at
the base of her scalp. Then she came in front of Dorcas and began to pull out some of her
hair, creating a lovely overflowing look.

It wasn’t the hardest look to create, but Marlene was inexperienced.

“How’d I do?” She asked, holding up a hand held mirror for Dorcas.

Dorcas glanced in it for a moment, making a few small adjustments to the bandana and the
overall design, then smiled up at Marlene, “It's wonderful,”

Marlene grinned.

“Though you will need to practice,”

 Marlene’s grin widened as Dorcas stood up and wrapped her arms around her waist, “I think
you just like being pampered,” She pulled her even closer, “Like having me take care of
you,”

Dorcas kissed her on the nose, Marlene was taller, but not by much so it wasn’t too much of a
stretch for Dorcas to reach, “It’s certainly a plus,”

Marlene led her over to the bed. They fell onto it together, Marlene was a bit upset that the
work she’d done was being ruined, but it was a small price to pay for Dorcas’ smile and hand
on her cheek.

Chapter End Notes

lily evans dogtags her books and remus lupin and regulus black hate her for it send tweet

Forgive me for shoving les mis into this chapter, this hyper-fixation is killing me

This is literally just short, sweet fluff because I was feeling touch starved recently, I
promise next chapter will be much longer and more more plot-propelling!!
Confessions are coming I swear!! (and soon!!)

Thank you so much for reading and comenting!! Everything means so so much so just
thank you very much!!!!
 The Panicky Consequences of Thinking Bent
Chapter Summary

The holiday quidditch match and shenanigans afterward

Chapter Notes

absolutely not a filler chapter with only fluff (I'm not being sarcastic I promise)
CW! Panic attack-
Starts at- Regulus stopped rearranging
Ends at- I’ll get the shower running and pull out some clothes for you to change into
after

See the end of the chapter for more notes

JAMES

James always liked how quiet the school got over the holidays. He loved the usual bustle, but
walking through the halls alone held a certain peacefulness.

He didn’t usually stay for the holidays, his mum wanted him home, but he’d stayed in his
third year for Sirius and his fourth year because no one else was staying with Remus that year
and there was a full moon so James didn’t want him to be alone.

This year, he’d convinced his mum by saying everyone else was staying, even though
Marlene and Dorcas would be going to Marlene’s place for Christmas eve and day.

For the first few days, it had been a bit strange. There were only fourteen students and they
all sat spread out across the great hall during meals. Eventually, Pandora and Mary broke the
ice by going to the Slytherin table, Mary to sit with Joston and Pandora because she liked it
over there.

James and Lily had followed suite, seizing the opportunity to spend more time with Regulus.
Unfortunately, he was usually squished between Crouch or Rosier, but they made do.

Surprisingly, he found himself enjoying his time with the slytherins. After the match where
Regulus had gotten hurt, Joston and James had found a mutual respect between them, he
liked talking with her about Quidditch. He found out that she suprisingly didn't want to go
pro, she was aiming for minister of magic.
It was good to be able to talk with Pandora as well, they hadn’t had a lot of moments together
since she’d been mostly finished with her violin painting, but she was still as lovely and easy
to talk to.

Remus had ended up getting along well with Regulus, they spent most of their meals
debating books they’d been reading and theories they’d been studying in class.

James was glad they’d all started to get along, it would make the match this evening much
more fun.

“I swear I know you from somewhere,” Sirius was saying and James looked up at him. He
was narrowing his eyes in Xenophilius’ direction, suspicion teasing the corners of his eyes.

Xenophilius cowered under the attention given to him but Regulus answered for him before
he could even open his mouth.

“He was a Malfoy. Technically, we’re distantly related through marriage,”

Sirius’ eyes narrowed even more, “Was?”

Xenophilius cleared his throat, “I’m disowned,"

An uncomfortable silence befell the table and James raised his eyebrow at Regulus. The boy
wasn’t paying much attention to the atmosphere around him, he was focused on his food.
James was pleased about that, spending meals with Regulus, meant that he began to notice
that Regulus had very poor eating habits. Sirius had been like that as well, but had gotten
better over time.

James hoped Regulus’ friends noticed it as well, and he was taking care of himself.

Sirius’ frown left his face, “What a coincidence! I’m disowned too,” He turned, grinning,
towards Regulus, “Isn’t that fun!”

“Amazing,” Regulus responded dryly, James doubted he was even paying attention.

“Well, I’m not disowned,” Evan said proudly, shoving aside his plate that had been wiped
clean of food, “I’m actually very loved in my family,”

“And what a family to be loved by,” Sirius retorted haughtily.

James rolled his eyes as Evan and Sirius began to bicker, when Regulus caught his eye.

He’d started speaking in a low voice with Joston and Pandora. James couldn’t hear exactly
what they were saying but he was sure it was something he had no clue about.

Regulus had gotten himself a cupcake with blue icing on it and he’d managed to get some
just on the tip of his nose. Regulus, who was usually the picture of perfection, with blue icing
on his nose, was very cute.
“So how are we doing teams this evening?” Dorcas asked, bringing everyone’s attention
towards her.

James glanced at Joston, they’d been deemed the unspoken captains of each team but
honestly James hadn’t put much thought into it.

“We should figure out what positions everyone can play,” Joston said, pulling out a slip of
paper and writing down the names of everyone at the table and each position on a quidditch
pitch.

“Evan and I can be beaters,” Crouch offered, “And McKinnon and older Black can be the
other teams,”

“We won’t decide teams for now,” James said, “Joston and I can pick right before, that way
they should be pretty even,”

“Well, obviously Regulus should be a seeker, you’ll be a chaser and Daisy’ll be a keeper,”
Mary said.

“Moony can be a seeker too,” Sirius interjected, “And Wormtail can be a keeper,”

Joston made note of what Sirius said and then frowned at the piece of paper, “The only
positions left are chasers, is everyone else alright playing as that?”

A chorus of yes’s erupted from the table and Joston nodded, pocketing the paper for later,
“Why don’t we meet on the pitch at 4? That should give us enough time to finish before
supper,”

“And then we can do something actually fun!” Evan piped in.

“Fine. You checked with the teachers that this was alright, right Potter?” Joston asked.

James’ smile faltered, he’d known there was something he was meant to do.

Luckily, McGonagall adored him and reassured him that they were fine to use the pitch as
long as everyone came back in for supper and everything was set when James arrived on the
pitch, at fifteen to four.

Everyone was mostly there when James arrived, though he noticed Pandora and Regulus
hadn’t arrived.

James walked over to the other marauders who seemed to be trying to coax Remus to start
properly flying, it was good James got here early.

“Afternoon Moony,” He greeted his friends with a wave, “Just about ready to fly?”

Remus glared at him, he was hovering a few feet off the ground, his knuckles white from
gripping the broom, “No James, I’m not,” He sighed forcefully, “I can’t believe you
volunteered me for Seeker,”
James mounted his broom easily and flew up beside Remus, between Regulus, potions, and
Lily, he hadn’t had much of a chance to help Remus with his flying but he’d thought Sirius
was working with him.

“Come on Moony, we’ve done lots of drills getting you comfortable on a broom. Seekers just
have to hover above until they see the snitch,” Sirius said, a whine in his voice.

“And what happens then hm?” Remus snapped, “I dive towards the ground and fly at
ridiculous speeds chasing after a little yellow winged thing? This is idiocy,”

“I mean realistically, Regulus is going to catch the snitch,” Peter reasoned, “You sort of just
need to follow him and pretend like you’re trying,”

James nodded enthusiastically, flying closer to Remus and putting a hand on his broom
handle to steady him, “There’s no stakes Moony, if you’d like you can play chaser and I’ll do
seeker?”

Remus considered it for a moment, before shaking his head, “Chaser’s worse, I’ll just do
what Pete said to do,”

James let go of his broom and clapped him on the back, about to say something reassuring,
when Sirius flew up on Remus’ other side, “Want to go higher?”

“I absolutely do not,”

Sirius ignored his pleas and began to lead Remus higher in the sky, James and Peter grinned
at Remus’ calls for help, pretending not to understand a word he was saying.

“He’ll hate us for this,” Peter said laughing.

James shrugged, “He’ll get over it,” He grinned at Peter, “Want to keep against me?”

Peter and James had been playing with each other for as long as James could remember.
When they’d met Marlene, she’d started playing with them as well and they’d had all the
positions aside from seeker.

Of course, they couldn’t play with real bludgers, when they were younger, so Marlene had
been forced to use padded balls that hurt less than a punch on the arm, but it had still been
fun.

Peter was a good keeper, not as good as Joston, but against someone less talented than James,
he’d hold his own pretty well. James had always hoped they’d go pro together, but Peter liked
watching Quidditch more than participating.

James scored against him until he heard his name being called from the field.

The players were gathered in a semi circle, with Joston at the head. James met her there and
Peter joined the rest of the players.
“Why don’t you take Pettigrew right now?” Joston said, motioning to him, “And I’ll take a
chaser,”

“Sure,” Peter joined James and Joston picked Dorcas as her chaser. That surprised James,
he’d thought she’d take Mary, but it didn’t matter much to him. He raised his eyebrow,
“Ladies first?”

Joston rolled her eyes, “Whatever,’ She didn’t put much thought into her first pick, pointing
generally in Crouch and Rosier’s direction, “I’ll take Crouch,” She said and James nodded.

“Brilliant,” He looked over the players, contrary to what he’d told Remus, he really did want
to win. Sure it wasn’t for points, but he held a certain pride when it came to Quidditch, “I’ll
take Regulus,”

Joston’s head snapped towards him, “Beg your pardon?”

James grinned at her innocently, “I said I’ll take Regulus,”

She narrowed her eyes, “You realise that means I get Remus, right?”

James shrugged, “Is that your pick?”

Joston huffed and glared at him, then set her jaw in place, “I’ll take Sirius,”

James’ jaw dropped, “You can’t take Sirius!”

“Why not?”

“He’s mine!” James sputtered, the idea of being on the opposite team to Sirius was
ridiculous.

“I’ll trade you for Regulus,”

James glared at her. Peter had been right, whichever team Regulus was on had a huge
advantage, one James couldn’t give up even for Sirius, “I’ll take Mary,”

Joston returned his glare, “Lily,”

“Evan!”

“Remus!”

“Pandora!”

“Marlene!”

“Ha!” James exclaimed, triumphantly, “You can’t take Marlene, you’ve already got two
beaters, I take Marlene, you get Xenophilius,”

“Fine,” Joston turned away from him and pulled her team into a huddle, strategizing in
hushed voices.
James did the same with his team, putting his arms over Peter and Regulus’ shoulders. He’d
hoped Lily would be on his team as well as Regulus, but they’d picked already.

James put on his captain's smile, “Alright, really quick. Pandora, Mary and Evan, how good
at Quidditch are you? And how good is the other team?”

“I’m not as good as McKinnon I’m sure,” Evan said, “But I’m not awful,”

“I passed flying class, haven’t really been on a broom since,” Pandora informed him. She’d
pulled her hair into two tight plaits.

“Marls tried to teach me last summer and she said I was hopeless,” Mary said, “but the other
team has Dorcas, who is worse,”

“Sirius and Barty won’t get along either,” Regulus told them, “Is that why you goaded Joston
into picking him?”

James blinked. He hadn’t even thought about how much Sirius would hate being on a team
with Crouch. Being beaters together, they’d need to work well and listen to each other. Sirius
had taken ages to trust Marlene enough to actually rely on her, it would be awful with
Crouch.

“Yeah, that’s what I was thinking,” He lied, only to make Regulus think he was smarter than
he actually was.

Regulus raised his eyebrows, “You didn’t realise it, did you?”

“No,” James admitted, “I had no clue but it all worked out so let’s just leave it at that,” He
glanced at Joston’s huddle. He knew she was a great captain, but she couldn’t be that good
right? Not so amazing that she could get Sirius and Crouch to start working together.

“What about the rest of their team?” Marlene asked, “I know Dorcas isn’t great, but Lily isn’t
too bad, you’ve been working with her a bit right James?”

James nodded, he’d taken Lily out for a few practices and she wasn’t going pro any time
soon, but she was good, “What about Remus and Xenophilius? Remus isn’t a bad flyer but he
scares easy,”

“Xenophilius has been playing since he was young,” Pandora said, “I’ve never actually seen
him on a broom though,”

James nodded, considering all he knew.

He’d have to be the primary chaser, with Pandora and Mary feeding him passes instead of
shooting themselves. Peter wouldn’t be able to block every shot, but he was good enough that
amateur keepers such as Dorcas and Lily would have a hard time scoring on him.

Marlene and Evan were more willing to compromise and work together than Crouch and
Sirius would be, and then there was Regulus.
Regulus hadn’t not caught the snitch during any of his games this season, apart from the one
where he’d been clocked over the head with a bludger. He’d catch it, unless Remus pulled off
a miracle, which James didn’t doubt he could do. Moony was very capable.

“Potter!” Joston called his name, “You just about ready?”

“Yeah, just a second!” He turned to his team, clapping Regulus on the back, “We’re
winning,” He proclaimed, setting his sights on greatness had always turned out well for him
in the past.

They didn’t have a referee, so the teams agreed to call their own fouls and hold their
teammates accountable. Regulus offered to throw up the balls for everyone and they all
agreed, taking their places in the air.

Regulus let loose the snitch first and James didn’t pay any attention to it. He was hovering
right across Xenophilius who looked very anxious. Lily was to his right and Dorcas was to
his left. James sent a wink Lily’s way which made her blush.

The bludger’s came out next, flying up into the air, far away from any players.

Then, after mounting his broom, Regulus tossed the quaffle in the air and the game began.

Predictably, James caught the Quaffle before Xenophilius and shot up. A quick glance around
the field told him that Joston had already gotten to the hoops, but Peter hadn’t quite yet
situated himself. Regulus had mounted his broom and was hovering above the pitch. Remus
wasn’t far away from him.

Sirius and the other beaters were all spread out, either moving to defend players (Sirius, who
was flanking Remus) or chasing after rogue bludgers (everyone else).

James decided on flying towards Joston, not giving the other team a chance to intercept the
pass and get to Peter before he was ready.

He knew Xenophilius was tailing him, but he wouldn’t be able to keep James’ pace. Mary
was keeping Dorcas away from him, and Pandora was flying towards the edge of the scoring
area. A good pass to her would get them the first point.

James knew he’d decided to take the shots instead of letting the girls, but he was an
impulsive being at heart.

His pass to Pandora was beautiful. A lovely ark that landed in her hand perfectly. She grinned
at receiving it, and wound up, aiming for the left goalpost. Joston was on the right, so it was a
good shot, but was also blocked.

Joston managed to save the quaffle and launch it to the other side of the field, where Lily sat
waiting. She received, and shot, scoring the first goal of the game against Peter.

The game continued, with neither team taking the lead for a long time.
Pandora had scored a few times, she was much better than she had led James to believe, and
even Dorcas got one. She nearly fell off her broom in excitement after, but she scored and
James was very proud of her.

At one point, James was shooting down the pitch towards Joston, when he was flanked by
Lily and Dorcas. He missed his shot, because Lily wouldn’t stop looking at him like she did,
but he kissed her afterwards and that made it more bearable.

Sirius and Crouch were working together as badly as James had expected, but it ended up not
being that much of a problem. Sirius stuck to defence, making sure his teammates weren’t
being hit, and Crouch played offensively. He knew it wasn’t either of their usual styles, so
Joston must have told them to avoid working together at all costs.

Peter had just done an amazing block against Xenophilius, when James saw a flash of a black
in the corner of his eye.

Regulus was diving towards the ground, Remus in tow. Regulus was going significantly
slower than usual, James suspected to even the playing field just a bit.

James’ team was up by twenty points and his job was done. He’d scored enough that as long
as Regulus caught the snitch, they would win.

James had never been much of a fan of the snitch. Sure it was an integral part of Quidditch
but it pretty much made chasers useless. There were occasions when the chasers scored
enough that the snitch was useless, but it happened so rarely.

Regulus had his hand outstretched now, he’d sped up a bit and Remus was falling behind.
James abandoned watching the game in favour of Regulus.

He ducked a bludger easily and leaned forward on his broom. His dark hair whipping around
him. They were close enough to the ground that if either of them straightened their legs, they
would scrape on the floor. James hoped Moony had the sense not to do that.

Remus was playing much better than James had expected. Sirius, and Remus’ fear before the
match, had led him to believe that he was truly hopeless, but he was keeping up with Regulus
quite well. Maybe it was because they were closer to the ground.

Sirius was flying just above and behind the two seekers, knocking bludgers away from them.
In a normal game, he probably would have hit a few in Regulus’ direction, but he was
holding back for his brother’s sake.

Regulus mde one last surge towards the snitch then screeched to a halt, his fist closed. He
tilted his head towards James and waved his closed hand in the air, a wild grin on his face.

For a moment, James wished he could have been sorted into Slytherin. If he could have been
Regulus’ captain every game, he would be able to bask in the joy of his smile and not focus
on comforting his team after the loss.
Regulus didn’t smile that often and James catalogued it every time he did. When Regulus
smiled, he changed. James could see it even from far away but as he got closer, he noticed
more.

His eyes scrunched up, forming small curves. He would bring his hand up to his face to cover
his smile but with it clenched around the snitch, it didn’t fully do the job so James could see
the corners of a smile peeking out. He usually held his back completely straight and had his
chin tilted up, but now his shoulders were pushed up and he wrapped his arms around himself
as a makeshift hug.

James wished he’d noticed how beautiful Regulus was when he won, it would have taken the
sting out of many loses.

Right now though, he didn’t have to feel sad because Regulus had won for his team.

He tackled the other boy in a hug, landing with a thump on the wet grass. He made sure to
protect Regulus’ head by tangling his hand in his hair and holding it close to his shoulder.

Regulus was laughing into James’ neck, the sound vibrating against his skin. Regulus had his
hands on James’ waist and back, he wasn’t holding nearly as tightly as James was, but he
wasn’t letting go either.

James pushed himself up, one hand still in Regulus’ hair and smiled at the boy.

He had grass in his hair and dirt on his cheek. When they were this close, James noticed he
had freckles, they were faint, and barely there, not like Lily who had dots splattered across
her cheeks and arms, but he had them and they were beautiful.

“I got it, captain” Regulus said through laughs, holding the snitch in front of James for him to
see. He looked at it for a second before returning his gaze to Regulus. He’d forgotten how
much Regulus calling him captain made him flush.

James could get drunk on instances like this. He’d never been one for flowery language or
poetic prose, but Regulus.

Regulus was poetry. The blue of his eyes were verses, the lines of his scars were stanza’s and
syllables, his lashes tickled his cheeks were the beat, his soft curls were the rhythm.

James would never stop reading Regulus. He’d memorise and analyse him until he consumed
James.

“James?” Regulus’ voice was still tinted with joy but he’d taken his hand away from James’
back. It was on his chest now, a slight pressure pushing at him.

James flushed and stood up, muttering a sorry, then offered Regulus a hand to help him. He
accepted with a grateful smile, before being shoved to the floor again by Pandora and Evan’s
combined weight.

Sirius was helping Remus get off his broom but neither seemed too upset by the outcome,
Remus just looked happy to be on the ground again.
Lily came up on James’ side and squeezed his hand slightly, “Good job, captain,”

Ah, so it wasn’t just when Regulus called him captain, it was Lily too. That made sense.

“Alright you two get off him,” Joston scolded, dragging Evan off Regulus by the collar of his
shirt. Pandora got up of her own accord and helped Regulus up on her way.

“Sorry Joston,” Evan said, not sounding apologetic at all, he was grinning ear to ear.

Sirius threw an arm over Regulus’ shoulder and ruffled his already mussed up hair. He was
smiling as much as Evan, pride in his eyes.

James knew something had changed between them since Hogsmeade, and not for the worst
like he’d expected. Regulus didn’t tense when James mentioned him or clamp up. Sirius
wasn’t as doubtful towards Regulus’ happiness.

“I can’t believe I did that,” Remus said in awe. His legs were shaking and he was leaning on
Peter for support. Peter was much shorter than Remus, so it was pretty comical to see.

“We’re all very proud of everyone who does not know how to fly,” Marlene said. She’d
already thrown her bat towards the side of the pitch.

“Why don’t we all go take showers?” Dorcas offered, “Then we can meet in the great hall for
supper,”

James frowned, just now noticing how dark it had gotten at Dorcas’ words. It was just about
time for supper.

Everyone agreed on Dorcas’ plan and went to the changerooms. They separated by gender
this time and used the Gryffindor changerooms.

James stepped into the shower as soon as he could, turning the water as hot as he could
manage. He could hear Sirius and Crouch arguing but tuned them out, focusing on the pitter-
patter of the water against his skin and the tile.

James sighed, wiping his face. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could do this.

He’d never been good at bottling things up. James was always the type to feel first, think
second. It was why he’d told the whole school how much he loved Lily, everyday, for a good
few years. It was how he’d managed to become friends with shy Peter, who no one in their
class had heard speak before, recluse Remus, who everyone thought was a delinquent, and
rebellious Sirius, who got detention everyday.

It was no different with Regulus, It helped to be able to talk to Lily about everything, but
being so close to the object of his affection, having so many chances to pull him towards
James and kiss him for hours, was torturous.

It was made worse by James’ mind, which tormented him with replays of the one and only
time he’d kissed Regulus. Since realising his feelings (and probably before then), he’d been
obsessed with the memory.
Regulus’ dazed expression, his pink cheeks, his hand around James’ tie, pulling him in. The
soft gasp he’d let out when their lips touched, even though he’d been the one to initiate the
kiss, as if he didn’t realise it was going to feel so nice. The way his lips moulded to James’,
slotting together like puzzle pieces.

There was also the knowledge that he’d been Regulus’ first kiss. Regulus had mentioned
offhandedly during one of their lessons, he’d never dated before and he didn’t seem like the
type to kiss someone for the sake of kissing, so James came to that conclusion and it undid
him for a good few days.

Regulus had been good at kissing, unnaturally good at it, and him having no prior experience,
led James to believe that it was good because it was him and they were them. It couldn’t be
explained any other way.

James sighed and rinsed shampoo from his hair. Shutting off the water and drying himself
off, he stepped out of the shower, grabbing a pair of trousers from where he’d hung them up
on the wall.

He’d left his shirt in the changing rooms, so he went there to grab it.

The other boys were still there, minus Peter, Evan, and surprisingly Regulus. James knew
Regulus hadn’t taken a shower when he’d gone in for one and he was a stickler for being
clean, so he must have been in there while James was.

James blinked at the thought. Regulus had been next to him. While he was showering.
Naked.

James felt his face heat up as he pulled his shirt over his head.

James could see Crouch packing a bag for himself and Regulus. Sirius and Remus were in
the corner talking in hushed voices to each other.

James smiled fondly. He was pleased with how well they’d been getting along recently.
James hoped it wasn’t upsetting Remus too much to be spending so much time with Sirius.
He knew better than anyone how hard it was to be around someone you loved and not be able
to tell them.

Deep down, he knew Lily was right to wait. They’d only started speaking to each other this
year, it was a bit much to indoctrinate Regulus into their relationship, but merlin it was hard
to not let everything spill over.

Just as James was packing up his things, Regulus came from the shower’s to the changing
room and James felt his breath catch in his throat.

He was still slightly damp from the shower and was wearing loose trousers that hung low on
his hips. His hair was dripping onto his bare chest which was naked to the world due to him
not wearing a shirt.
Crouch dog whistled as Regulus approached him, making Regulus glare and Sirius’ head
shoot up instinctively.

“Whew! Regulus! Showing off some skin are we?” Crouch crowed, a grin across his features.

“Shut up Barty,” Regulus muttered glaring at him and ruffling through the bag Crouch had
put together, “I forgot to bring my shirt into the shower, where did you put it?”

Crouch laughed, motioning to the bag on the bench, “It should be in there, I didn’t see it but I
put everything of ours in it,”

Regulus rummaged for a few seconds and James got distracted by a drop of water, falling
from the ends of Regulus’ hair, down the divots in his back, under the fabric of his trousers.
A thought dipped into James’ mind, winding its way through the aisles of his head.

He still hadn’t had the chance to ask Regulus about the scar near his collarbone, he hadn’t
even seen it recently. It had been a tipping point in James’ fixation on Regulus’ scars. He
wanted to know the story behind it, where it ended, had it faded?

Regulus pulled a jumper out triumphantly. It was deep green with a thin silver lining along
the edges, clearly inspired by Slytherin colours.

James wished he’d turn around so he could get a glimpse of his scar, so he wouldn’t have to
watch Regulus’ bone thin back, curve and ripple.

Regulus didn’t, of course, simply pulling the jumper over and poking his head through. It was
weirdly big on him, the sleeves coming past his hands. Regulus frowned at his covered
hands, “Is this yours?”

Crouch looked a Regulus, a smile appearing once he saw him, “It is, I brought it just in case I
was cold,” he grinned, “It suits you,”

Regulus glared and reached for the bag but before he could grab it, Crouch snatched it away
from him and held it over his head.

“What are you doing?” Regulus demanded, standing on his tiptoes to try and reach for the
bag from Crouch.

James didn’t hear the answer, distracted by a tap on his shoulder.

“D’you mind saving us seats?” Sirius asked. He wasn’t wearing a shirt and his hair was still
wet. Remus was fully clothed, and his hair was mostly dry.

“Aren’t you coming?”

“I need his help with something,” Remus answered.

James frowned, it was unlike Moony to ask for help, more unlike him to ask for help from
Sirius, “What’s wrong? Can I do anything?”
Remus shook his head firmly, “I just need Padfoot, and for you to save us some seat,” he
added.

James glanced behind himself. Regulus and Crouch had left while they were talking, which
meant James couldn’t talk to Regulus on his way to the great hall.

He supposed that was for the best. He may need some time to cool off.

“Sure I can do that,” He said, grabbing his bag and throwing it over his shoulder, a bottle of
body wash fell out and Remus picked it up for him.

“Thanks Prongs, you’re amazing,”

James smiled, shoving the bottle deep into his bag, never to be found again, “Helping’s what
I’m for,”

He heard Sirius call out a request to make sure he wasn’t near Crouch but ignored it. Sirius
would sit where James put him and that was that.

REGULUS

Rebellion was a steep road to lunacy according to Regulus’ mother.

She’d always been very sure of her ways, insistent on tradition and maintaining appearances
and tried to instil those beliefs in her children as well.

Clearly, based on Regulus’ fondness for a red-haired muggleborn and a black-haired blood
traitor, as well as Sirius’ everything, they had not taken to her teachings.

Regulus had tried, of course, especially when he was younger, but with friends like Pandora
and Joston and the tide of sexuality, his mother’s beliefs had been washed away easily.

Still, Regulus tried not to openly rebel. He didn’t pull pranks like Sirius, and while he
sometimes bent the rules to get his way, he never got caught.

Drinking alcohol while underage in the Gryffindor common, sat between his disinherited
brother and James Potter was rebellious.

It was something Regulus had never experienced before. The tingle in his palms and uneasy
feeling in his stomach that was quelled through the burn of smuggled firewhiskey from the
cup James had poured for him.

Regulus’ mother had led him to believe rebellion was anarchy. She would tell him that
rebellion had gotten his cousin burned off the family tree. That rebellion was the source of
unrest in the house. That rebellion, and subsequently, anarchy, was better off when in the
hands of beggars and thieves.

Regulus never knew how freeing rebellion felt. He found himself wondering, as Evan
laughed at a muggle magic trick Mary MacDonald could perform, if he’d felt this earlier,
would he have left when Sirius did?
Their group was sat in a circle, everyone leaning on each other. After a supper spent avoiding
speaking with James or Lily, squished in between Barty and Pandora, and making strange eye
contact with Dorcas, who’d been sitting across from him, Regulus had wanted to go to bed.

Then James had asked him, with those big doe eyes of his, if he would come up to the
common room for a bit of fun and Regulus had, of course, accepted.

Now, despite his so-called friends promising to keep him away from James and Lily, he was
directly next to James, who Lily was leaning on.

He was also drinking.

“Can’t we do something fun?” Mary whined. She had her head resting in Joston’s lap. Her
hair was splayed out around her with a few curls falling on the floor, “I can’t sit here and
watch Crouch get more and more drunk for much longer,”

“What? You want to play a party game?” Sirius raised an eyebrow, “truth or dare? Spin the
bottle?”

Mary scowled and stuck out her tongue, “What are we, twelve?”

Sirius shrugged. He and Regulus hadn’t spoken much, at least not about anything important,
but he was sitting next to Regulus and Remus. Regulus could see their pinkies were
touching.

He remembered what they’d both smelt in their amortentia. Sirius with his chocolate and
wool and Remus with his leather and cigarettes. He wondered if they’d realised anything, if
the brushing pinkies meant something to them.

“Have you got any better ideas, MacDonald?”

She groaned and turned towards Joston, they began talking softly to each other, and Sirius
returned to Remus.

Regulus sighed and took a sip of his drink. He was feeling a bit fuzzy in the head and a little
unfocused, maybe raw, but other than that he wasn’t sure what the fire whiskey was supposed
to do.

He remembered Cissy getting drunk once, she’d started crying and asking for Andromeda,
but Regulus didn’t feel like crying. He felt floaty.

James nudged his shoulder and Regulus looked up at him.

Maybe the drink was making him feel something else. Vulnerability.

James looking down at him, wide eyes and hot skin. It was scalding. It was Regulus’ own
small rebellion. Vulnerability.

“You getting tired sunshine?” He asked. He smiled fondly at Regulus, the happiness touching
the corners of his eyes and pinching them together.
Regulus shook his head firmly. He wasn’t tired at all.

“You should not have let Regulus play,” Barty slurred. He was very drunk and leaning
heavily on Pandora. She wasn’t much better though, she kept hiccuping, “During the match I
mean,” Barty continued, “It’s unfair,”

James shrugged, “You could have hit him,” He said it nonchalantly, like he didn’t tell Barty
he could hit a metal ball towards Regulus.

Barty shook his head, emphasising the movement, “Not with his head still fucked up,”

“My heads perfectly fine,” Regulus defended himself, touching his forehead scar
unconsciously. He got the occasional headache, but other than that, he barely thought about
it.

Barty just kept shaking his head and took another sip of his drink.

Regulus rolled his eyes. He knew he bruised easily but honestly he wasn’t that fragile.

“You know,” Peter said, a thoughtful tinge to his voice, “I thought I’d hate this holiday, with
so many Slytherins staying but this is actually quite nice,”

Joston laughed. Regulus didn’t think he’d heard her laugh before, he could have been wrong
or maybe she was just drunk enough that she couldn’t keep up her stoic appearance.

“I thought a holiday with the Marauder’s would be the most unfortunate experience of my
life but you haven’t even done anything. Not even one prank, which is good because I hate
them,”

Regulus scoffed, “Oh like you have a leg to stand on there Joston,”

Barty leaned forward, raising his eyebrow, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing,” Joston said quickly, glaring at Regulus.

Perhaps if he had a clearer mind, he would have dropped it then but he didn’t so he grinning
cheekily and took a sip of his drink.

“Just thinking about the Halloween prank,”

“Regulus,” Joston warned.

“Well for the botched draught of living death to explode in each common room, they needed
volunteers from each house. James did it for Gryffindor,” He knew that because James had
told him, “Pandora did ravenclaw, I don’t know who handled Hufflepuff,”

Barty frowned, “And Slytherin?”

Regulus nodded towards Joston, who was glaring at him.

Barty gasped, “Daisy! I cannot believe you! Regulus cut himself!”

“Oh don’t you ‘Daisy’ me,” She snapped. “I thought he wasn’t there!”

“You cut yourself?” James and Sirius demanded in unison, both of their heads whipping
towards Regulus.

He nodded, surprised at their reaction, “I picked up one of the glass vials Joston had set up
and it exploded in my hand, it wasn’t a big thing. The worst bit was the sludge,” He
scrunched his nose at the memory.

“Merlin Reg!” Sirius exclaimed, grabbing Regulus’ hand, “Did you scar?”

Regulus thought he might have heard James suck in a breath though he didn’t know why,
“Maybe a bit? I didn’t notice,”

Sirius examined his hands carefully before gasping softly and pointing at Regulus’ palm,
“There is a scar! Merlin, didn’t you go to Pomfrey?”

“I did,” He shrugged, pulling his hand away from his brother, “But I figured the Draught
affected the magic she used. It’s really not a big deal,” he added once seeing Sirius’
concerned gaze.

He tried not to let it get to his head, but it did feel a little good knowing he cared.

They hadn’t really spoken at all. Sure, there were a regular conversations in potions class that
no longer had any heat behind them, but other then that-- and one time Sirius cornered him in
the kitchen and done an in depth apology that Regulus had run away from-- they hadn’t
talked about what went on between them in the Come and Go room.

Regulus knew it was progress. He knew something had changed between them but it
frightened him. Even more when he knew it couldn’t last. At the end of the day, Regulus was
still his parent’s only youngest son and Sirius had left.

“I can’t believe you wouldn’t let me put Doxy eggs in the Gryffindor common room but
participated in one of their pranks,” Evan whined. His cheeks had taken on a rosy flush.

“That was a horrible prank,” Joston defended, “If you’re going to get yourself put in
detention, you might as well do it properly,”

Regulus sighed to himself as Joston and Evan continued their bickering.

He wondered what his family would say if they could see him right now.

Regulus Black, heir to the Black family, star of the Quidditch team, perfect, sitting in
between his disgraced brother and the boy who disgraced him, with a group of purebloods
and muggleborns acting as friends. Fifteen and nursing a cup of butterbeer and his feelings
for two people.

His mother would burn him off the tapestry faster than you could say traitor.
Andromeda would be proud, Cissy probably as well, just quietly. Bella wouldn’t but she
might be pleased he wasn’t talking that much. She wouldn’t know it was because of shyness.

He wondered if Andromeda had gotten his letter, she hadn’t responded yet and Regulus
wouldn’t be surprised if it had gone straight into the bin.

Cissy had written, wishing him well and sending a gift for him to open on Christmas. She
said she would come visit him at Hogsmeade the next time they got the chance to. He hadn’t
told Cissy about Sirius or James and Lily, but he had talked about it with Andromeda.

Cissy wouldn’t be able to offer him any real advice, not without endangering herself, and she
could go to his parents with the information but Andromeda was already out and Regulus
didn’t really care about her opinion on him (the same way he didn’t care about Sirius’
opinion). She probably hadn’t even read it.

Regulus didn’t talk much the rest of the night. He didn’t drink much either.

Sirius got completely smashed-- so did Barty and Pandora-- and Peter should have been
drunk after drinking non-stop the whole evening, but he was completely fine.

Lily was a bit tipsy, just enough that she giggled at small things.

Regulus felt drunk enough on those small giggles that he didn’t really need the firewhiskey.

Eventually, Pandora was dragged out of the room by Xenophilius. She was practically passed
out so Regulus offered to go with them-- he was getting tired-- but Xenohphilius insisted and
reassured him he’d make sure she drank lots of water and went to bed as soon as she got
back.

Dorcas and Marlene were the next to go, they escaped up to one of their dorms just after
Xenophilius and Pandora, laughing hand-in-hand.

Regulus yawned and set down his drink. Evan was flirting with Mary, who didn’t seem
interested beyond the fun of flirting, and Barty was staring into his drink, looking astonished
at the contents. Regulus hoped he wasn’t suddenly developing a conscience about underage
drinking.

It didn’t seem like any of his friends were ready to head out, so he gathered his things quietly
and stood up. Before he got anywhere, he felt something stop him.

“You leaving sunshine?” Lily was hanging on James’ arm, looking confusedly up at him and
he was holding Regulus’ wrist.

Regulus nodded, not trusting himself to speak and not let everything out. He shouldn’t have
been drinking around them, he got honest when he drank.

“We’ll walk you?” James offered, “You shouldn’t be walking around alone after dark,”

Regulus laughed and shook his head, trying to say something, “I’m stronger than I look,”
Merlin that sounded ridiculous.
“I know,” James said, a crooked smile on his face, “But I worry,”

Regulus had very bad willpower.

James and Lily walked him to his dorm, making most of the conversation themselves.
Regulus just tried not to say anything. He responded in vague gestures and head nods.

It didn’t stop when they got to the common room. They insisted on walking him up to his
room on the basis of strangers sneaking in, and then flopped onto his bed.

Regulus busied himself with cleaning. Having Barty and Evan here alone, and their other
dorm mates not here to help, the room had fallen into disarray. That is to say, there were a
few stray trousers on the floor, a sweets wrapper on the dresser and some of the books on
Regulus’ shelf had fallen over.

“Hey Regulus?” James said, “You know all these stars right? His voice was oddly soft.
Regulus knew he hadn’t drank much, nor had Lily.

Regulus nodded and picked up the wrapper, tossing it towards the bin. He and Evan had
bought it together in their third year, it had multiple sections for different garbage, Regulus
found it very useful.

“Can you show me one?” James asked.

Regulus shook his head, showing one would result in talking.

“Why not?”

He shrugged, picking up the trousers and putting them in the laundry basket. He wasn’t
actually sure how clothes were washed at Hogwarts, but he wasn’t one to question.

“Another time then,” James said.

Lily suddenly sat up and stared at Regulus, she looked determined and Regulus felt strange.
Something was wrong, or perhaps it was right and just didn’t know what right felt like.

“I like when you paint me,”

Regulus frowned. He wasn’t sure why she’d bring that up right now. Maybe she was drunker
than he thought.

Maybe she missed it. They hadn’t worked together in some time seeing as the painting was
done.

“And James likes when you tutor him,”

James sat up then and touched Lily’s shoulder, “Lils?”

“We both like rounds when it's with you,”

Regulus went over to the bookshelf, turning his back to them so they couldn't see his blush.

“James liked playing with you and I like watching you play,”

“You’re not thinking straight Lily,” James said, he sounded nervous.

“Probably not,” She admitted, “But I’m tired of thinking straight, I want to think bent,”

James didn’t answer and Regulus knew something was right. Which meant it was wrong
because Regulus’ life wasn’t meant to go right.

They were muttering about something behind him but he couldn't be bothered to tune in. He
was frantically rearranging the books, probably messing it up even more than it was before,
but his hands were shaking so much, he needed something to do.

“I love you Regulus,”

Regulus stopped rearranging.

“I love you as well Regulus,”

His hands hadn’t stopped shaking, it had gotten worse. They had to be joking. James loved
pranks, surely this was just another one. Maybe it had been in the works for some time. A
sick feeling invaded his stomach. Maybe Sirius was involved.

Regulus forced a laugh, “Funny,” He didn’t know what else to say.

“It's not funny,” He wasn’t sure who was speaking. He thought it might have been James but
his ears were ringing too much to tell.

“We’re not joking Regulus,” It was a different voice now, they were closer to him and
speaking softly.

Regulus felt a hand on his shoulder and flinched. He didn’t want anyone to touch him right
now. The hand immediately receded and Regulus found himself wishing it was there again.

“Can you turn around sunshine?” A voice said, it must be James, Lily didn’t call him that. He
wondered when sunshine had started to sound sweet instead of annoying.

Regulus did as the voice said, and when his eyes found James’ then Lily’s right after,
everything came crashing down.

He didn’t understand.

James was in love with Lily. James had been in love with Lily for longer than life. And Lily
loved James. They were perfect. They argued and ended those arguments with kisses. They
moulded around each other. He imagined compromises came easy. How could they want
anything more? How could they risk it?
Regulus had never been in a relationship. He’d never even seen one that meant something
until James and Lily. His mother and father married to continue the lineage, Narcissa married
Lucius for convenience and children, Bellatrix married Rodolphus for power. The common
denominator in those relationships were the Black family.

Regulus’ family was not meant to love. They were named after stars and constellations for a
reason. Because nothing could touch them. Because they burnt the things around them.
Because stars aren’t meant to do anything but die.

And yet Lily and James were trying to ruin themselves with Regulus. They saw the broken
thing he was and they decided to destroy their love with his.

It was his own fault. He’d let them come close, selfishly. He’d believed their love was
stronger than his curse but it wasn’t. Regulus would melt them.

“Regulus, what's wrong?” It was Lily asking. She’d come to stand next to James, she was
clearly worried, probably because Regulus was shaking like a flame and leaning against the
wall to hold himself steady.

He shouldn’t have had anything to drink, he wasn’t as in control when he was drunk.

James reached out to touch his shoulder and Regulus gasped out a word.

“No,” They couldn’t touch him, neither of them, he was a rotting leaf that disintegrates on
impact.

James immediately took his hand back, “Alright, I won’t, but Regulus you need to breath, I
know its hard,”

He hadn’t realised he wasn’t breathing but now that it was pointed out, he realised it was true,
although he couldn't do anything to fix it. The tightness in his chest was unrelenting, he’d fall
soon. Merlin, he didn’t want them to see him like that.

“Leave,” He begged. He’d meant for it to come out commanding, but knew it hadn’t. He
came off exactly as he was, pitiful.

“No,” James said firmly, “Not when you’re like this, you can’t be alone,”

“He won’t be,” A new voice came from the door. Regulus' lighthouse, Evan Rosier.

He strode in, no one would believe he’d had anything to drink at all, if there wasn’t the smell
of whiskey on his breath.

“I’ll stay with him, you can go,” It clearly wasn’t a suggestion, but James still opened his
mouth to protest. Regulus needed them to leave.

“Thank you Evan,” Lily said, squeezing James’ hand gently, “We’ll leave. Regulus, please be
safe,” She wasn’t suggesting either and Regulus found himself forcing out a nod.
Once they were gone, Regulus sank to the floor, gasping heavily. He wasn’t strong enough
anymore. Luckily, it was only Evan who knelt down beside him.

“Can you hear me Reg?”

Regulus nodded. He’d never noticed how dirty the floor was. There were cracks and bumps
along it. He wished there wasn’t. The imperfection shouldn’t be acceptable.

“Can I touch you? Just your knee,”

Regulus wanted to say no, because touch and affection were reserved for lovers and harlots,
but nodded anyway. He needed Evan.

He felt the hand on his knee, suddenly very aware of Evan’s presence. He should feel shame,
for being so weak in front of someone, but he needed to be. And it was Evan.

“You can hear me breathing, yeah?” Regulus could, he’d noticed how heavy and deep Evan
had been breathing since he’d first come in, “Try to match it. Doesn’t need to be exact, just
try,”

Regulus tried and slowly, his head stopped spinning, his heartbeat grew slower and his ears
cleared. He looked up from the floor to Evan. His cheeks were damp and Evan smiled at him.
He brought his hands up to Regulus’ face and cupped his cheeks. He touched their foreheads
quickly, then helped Regulus stand up, only to bring him over to the bed and sit him down.

“I’ll get the shower running and pull out some clothes for you to change into after,” He
walked towards the washroom, “I’ll come get you once it's ready,”

Regulus nodded. A shower would be nice, he smelt like alcohol. Alcohol and them.

Them, James and Lily, Lily and James.

He hoped they were drunk enough to forget this. If he was lucky, they were drunk enough to
forget him altogether. Forget the moments they’d spent together and return to each other. As
they were meant to be.

And Regulus would hold onto it. Because he was selfish and stupid and he loved them.

“Shower’s ready,” Evan said and Regulus stood up, he couldn’t be in the room anymore. Not
when they’d been there.

Evan had heated the water well, folded Regulus’ pyjamas on the counter, and set out
Regulus’ products. He used different one’s to his other dorm mates to take proper care of his
hair.

Barty used 2 in 1 and Evan gatekept his hair routine. He had no idea what the other two did.

He turned the water as high as it could go, so that it turned his pale skin red. He wanted to
burn away everything that had happened.
Why had they done this today? Why had they done it at all, but why today? They’d been
drinking, but Regulus had been sure it wasn’t that much. Perhaps it was a spur of the moment
torture. Perhaps it was what they;d been mumbling about when Regulus had been shaking.

(He wouldn’t entertain the hope that they hadn’t meant for it to happen today but their
feelings had become so much they couldn’t handle it, it was too kind)

He wasn’t sure how long he was in the shower, long enough that he ran over every interaction
with them from that night, again and again, trying to find where he’d let something slip.
Trying to find a reason to blame himself because the alternative was blaming them.

Eventually, he shut the water off and stepped out, drying himself off and pulling on his
pyjamas. He felt better after the shower, more relaxed. He was still shaking a bit, but he
wasn’t crying anymore and his chest had loosened.

Evan was sitting on his bed when he got out, a book in his lap. It was Regulus’ copy of
Twelfth Night, he'd left it on his bedside. Evan was frowning at it but looked up when
Regulus came back in.

“Thank god you’re back, I’m not sure how much longer I could pretend to understand this,”

Regulus laughed weakly and walked towards Evan, joining him under the covers. In his time
in the washroom, Evan had changed the sheet’s into Regulus’ silk ones, they’d been given to
him by Kreacher before he’d left for his third year. He’d been very excited for Regulus to use
them.

“You don’t have to stay,” Regulus said quietly. He was fidgeting his hands together in his lap.
He wanted Evan to stay, but he didn’t have to.

Evan shrugged and put an arm around Regulus pulling him a bit close to his side, “I don’t
mind, it's the least I can do, I was meant to be keeping you away from them,”

Regulus leaned into him, “S’fine, really that was Barty’s job, so it’s his fault,”

“What’s my fault?” Barty asked, closing the door behind him softly. He paused when he
came in, eyeing them suspiciously, “Am I interrupting something?”

Evan made a face, “We are literally related,”

Barty shrugged and threw his shoes off, “So? Not like that’s ever been a thing for your lot,”

“Touche,” Evan conceded, “But you do know you’re pure-blood too right?”

“Not one of the Sacred Twenty-Eight though,”

“Just come sit down,”

Barty sat on Regulus’ other side and put his arm around him as well, mimicking Evan, “This
something you want to talk about?”
 Regulus immediately shook his head.

“Alright,”

He fell asleep leaning on them with James and Lily’s words repeating in his head.

Chapter End Notes

There we go! The moment we've all been waiting for! A confession! Gone horribly
wrong!

THIS CHAPTER TOOK SO LONG TO WRITE OH MY GOD! I had to do so many

rewrites so I really hope you enjoy. (it's almost 9000 words lol)

Thank you so much for reading, commenting, leaving kudos, anything is so very
appreciated!
 The Burning Consequences of Crying
Chapter Summary

Fallout and realisations

Chapter Notes

I started writing this when I was exhausted and I would like you to know that this was
the first draft of this chapter

lily and james walk into the hall and they see regulus and they're likewhhhaaaattt oh my
goooddddd this is so slayyyy
they make out

=infornt of Sirius
hecries and marries

Himself, kicking it sue sylvester style.

Rmues is not heartbroken, he is a werewolf.

and then everyone clapped

See the end of the chapter for more notes

LILY

Lily was not James.

She was not impulsive, she thought things through, she did not confess her love because
she’d had a bit of alcohol.

But here she was.

It was the night after the match. Dorcas and Marlene had already packed their bags to leave
for Marlene’s place the day after tomorrow and Lily hadn’t seen Regulus at all today.

Once they’d left the common room last night, with Regulus in a panicked state, James had
ripped his wrist out her grasp and whirled on her. She’d seen him angry before, like when
Sirius had done whatever he’d done last year, or when Snape had said what he’d said to her,
but it had never been directed towards her.
“What the hell was that?” James had demanded. He’d crossed his arms across his chest and
glared at Lily.

She’d winced and put her head in her hands. The reason she’d been pushing out of her head
was coming back up, full force, “I don’t know James,”

“We left him! He needed us and we left him!”

Lily had shaken her head, “He needed a friend, like Evan, we-” She’d stopped herself and
swallowed the lump in her throat, looking up at James, “I was not a friend to him,”

James’ gaze hadn’t exactly softened, but the anger dissipated slightly. He’d taken Lily’s hand
in his and lowered his voice, “I let it happen,”

They’d returned to James’ dorm after. Peter was still in the common room but Sirius and
Remus had collapsed on Remus’ bed, both passed out. James had made some comment about
their friendship and Lily had thought about how happy Sirius must be, now that he and
Remus were closer again.

Lily had slept in James bed, and squeezed his hand when they’d walked into the great hall
together. Only to have the Slytherin table be empty.

Joston was with Mary at Gryffindor’s table, but the other three Slytherin’s were nowhere to
be found.

They didn’t show up at lunch or supper either and Lily wasn’t brave enough to check the
kitchens. She didn’t imagine Barty and Evan would let Regulus go hungry.

Lily was sitting with the marauders in the common room, thinking of black hair and grey
eyes, when a slip of paper landed on her lap.

She frowned and opened it carefully.

In James’ messy scrawl, read the words: I’m telling Sirius

Lily’s frown morphed into fear and her head snapped up.

James was looking at her, determination in his gaze. Lily shook her head, just a bit, and
James nodded, much more obviously.

She quickly grabbed a scrap of paper and wrote a response to him.

It wasn’t that she was ashamed of her feelings. She really did love Regulus and she knew
James did as well.

But he was Sirius’ little brother.

His little brother who he only just started repairing his relationship with.
Perhaps she should have thought of that before allowing herself to get closer with Regulus.
Especially before confessing her feelings for him.

If it came down to it, she didn’t know if Sirius would side with her, James or Regulus. She
hoped it would never happen, but god it worried her.

She’d been lying to him as well. Telling him she was fine, and that nothing was worrying her,
when the weight of her world had felt like it was on her shoulders.

Another note from James landed on her lap. There was only one word written on it: Please.

She looked up at James again, expecting to see pleading eyes, but was met with the same
determined look from before.

She chewed her lip and reread his note. The contents didn’t change. It was still the same
looped P connected to a messy L. Still, when Lily looked up at James again, she found
herself nodding her head shakily.

James’ expression still didn’t change, but he stood up straighter and set aside his book.

He cleared his throat, “Can I talk to you all about something?”

He hadn’t mentioned telling everyone about it, but she supposed it wouldn’t do them much
harm.

Sirius and Remus sat up as well, Sirius tensing. He’d had his legs draped across Remus’ lap
and had been writing notes but now he was the picture of a pureblood. If you ignored his
obviously Gryffindor traits of course.

“Sirius and I had something we wanted to say as well actually,” Remus said smoothly. Lily
noticed that his hands were clenched at his side. Sirius kept tapping his fingers on the sofa
cushions.

“Why don’t you go first?” James said, probably noticing the same things Lily was. Best to let
them get their nerves out before they dropped the Regulus bomb.

The two shared a look then Remus nodded and set his jaw.

“It’s something important-”

“Not that important,” Sirius interrupted, “We can just forget about it after if you want,” His
voice was shaky and he was staring between James and Peter while blinking quickly.

Remus reached over to him to still his moving fingers, “It is important,” He said firmly, “And
not something you’d forget easily,” He whispered something to Sirius quickly and then
paused to look at him.

Sirius chewed his lip for a few moments, still glancing between James and Peter, then
swallowed and nodded his head at Remus, “Go on,”
Remus smiled and squeezed his hand then took a breath, but didn’t speak for a moment or
two.

Lily glanced between Peter and James, trying to see if they had any knowledge of what was
going on but both looked just as confused as her.

“Sirius and I,” Remus paused, as if trying to find the exact right words, “have been seeing
each other,” He said finally.

James blinked from where he sat close to Remus, “Well yeah, you’ve got eyes haven’t you?”
He raised an eyebrow at Lily, “Is this a metaphorical thing? Like you finally understand each
other?”

Lily couldn’t be bothered to roll her eyes at James, she was far too happy for Sirius. He’d
stopped accosting her to talk about his problems recently but she’d assumed it was because
they were both so busy, not because he’d sorted it out.

Based on the way his hands were shaking where they touched Remus’ and his eyes shifted
from person to person, never holding anyone’s gaze, she could tell he was still bothered by it
all but this seemed like a step.

Not long ago, he’d avoided the topic of talking to James about this at all, because he thought
it wouldn’t be forgiven, now he was there. She was very proud of him.

“No James,” Remus said firmly, “We’re together, dating, we fancy each other, however you
want to put it,”

Realisation dawned on James’ face, before fading into joy, “Really!? Moony, that's amazing!”
He turned to Sirius grinning, “How long? I can’t believe you didn’t tell me!”

Sirius exhaled audibly but he didn’t smile quite yet, glancing to his right.

Peter’s expression had really shifted. He still looked just as confused as ever. Sirius was
trying not to look at him, but his eyes kept shifting his direction, fear and hope intermingling
in the iris’.

“Peter?” Remus prompted, “Are you alright?”

He nodded quickly, “It's just- I’m not sure this is alright to say-”

“Careful Pete,” James said harshly and Peter shrunk back in his seat. Remus waved James
off.

“Just say it,”

Peter smiled sheepishly at them, “Well I just didn’t know you were hiding it that’s all,”

Sirius exhaled and his back curved in relief but Remus raised his eyebrow.

“You didn’t realise we were hiding it?”

Peter shook his head. His cheeks were red and his book lay open and forgotten on his lap.

James frowned, “How did you figure it out? I had no clue,”

“Really?” Peter asked, “They sleep in the same bed all the time, and hold hands under the
table, like Dorcas and Marls,”

James shook his head, bewildered, “I didn’t pick up on it! Anyways I didn’t think something
would happen so soon after-“ he cut himself off glancing Lily’s direction, “Stuff,” he
finished

Lily didn’t press. She knew Remus and Sirius had gotten in an argument last year, she knew
it had something to do with Severus, and she knew Sirius had torn himself up over it. But
he’d never wanted to tell her the details so she hadn’t asked.

Remus would tell her when he wanted to, until then, she wouldn’t press, she wouldn’t look
into it.

Remus shrugged, “It wasn’t planned,”

James grinned in Lily’s direction, “No they usually aren’t,”

“I don’t think you can really compare your and Lily’s relationship to Moony and Padfoot,”
Peter mused, “You’ve got your whole life with Lily planned out,”

“Shut up Wormtail,” James sniped.

Lily tried for a smile but found it difficult to maintain. She knew he hadn't only been talking
about Lily, he must have been meaning Regulus as well.

“But I’m very happy for you," James said, grinning at Remus and Sirius, "I mean Merlin
Moony, how long have you been into him? At least a year, yeah?”

Sirius sat up, any leftover anxieties gone, “A year?!”

“Shut up prongs,” Remus groaned, “I regret every moment of it,”

Sirius threw his arm around Remus’ shoulders, grinning, “You’ve fancied me for a year! God
that’s embarrassing,”

Laughter rang throughout the room and Lily made eye contact with James, she raised her
eyebrow, asking him if he still wanted to talk about Regulus and he didn’t nod right away.

For the second time in recent history, Lily realised their roles had been switched. James didn't
want to tell them anymore. But they had to. If they left it any longer Lily might explode, and
Sirius would be even more upset.

More than anything, Regulus could use someone like Sirius right now.
Sirius understood Regulus. Not as well as he could, but better than Lily and James. It was
mostly due to the trauma and experience they had shared at home, but partly due to the
childhood that hung between them.

Lily understood how living with someone for years connected you for better or for worse.

She’d never fully forget the way Petunia’s voice sounded when she called her a freak. She
wouldn’t forget when she used to read her to sleep either. Sisters, and brothers as well she
was sure, were fickle things.

You grew alongside them, watched each other stretch into the people you were, and prayed
your love for eachother was enough to break your parents' failings.

In Lily’s case, it hadn’t been. Petunia resented her because of her parents love but she hoped
it would be different with Sirius and Regulus.

Sirius pulled his arm off Remus quickly, his face turning worried, “Sorry Prongs and
Wormy,” He said, his face vulnerable and open, slightly disgusted “I won’t be like that,”

So, everything wasn’t completely fixed then,

Peter, bless his heart, seemed confused at Sirius’ words but James sat up and smiled at Sirius.
An easy reassuring and familiar smile.

James was usually oblivious. A bit slow sometimes as well, except when it came to Sirius
and transfiguration. As long as it had nothing to do with relationships.

“Come on Padfoot,” He teased, “Lily and I do it all the time, so do Marlene and Dorcas,”

Sirius chewed his lip for a moment and glanced at Remus anxiously, before putting on his
confident grin and settling into Remus’ side a bit, “Yeah alright,”

It wasn’t as affectionate as Lily knew he could be, but it was something.

“So who knows?” Peter asked.

“Just you three,” Remus paused, “And Pandora, though we didn’t exactly tell her,”

“Pandora knew before me?!”

“We didn’t tell her!” Remus explained hurriedly, “She’s very clever,”

“To be fair,” Lily said, “Pete figured it out as well, he’s not so clever”

“Oi!”

Lily ducked the wad of paper thrown her way with a laugh.

She hadn’t been feeling wonderful since the match but this made her feel a bit less guilty
about what had happened with Regulus.
Lily was not impulsive, she never had been but Regulus had always pulled out strange sides
of her.

She knew the timing had been awful, she knew Regulus wasn’t fully comfortable with them
yet, but she also knew how beautiful he was.

He’d been so wonderful that night.

She’d seen him fly before, but she’d never really seen him win. Always too caught up in her
own losses to appreciate how his cheeks flushed and smile grew. A real smile was so rare
from Regulus, she couldn’t believe she’d been neglecting it the entire time.

Then they’d come back to the common room and had a little bit to drink, and she’d fallen in
love with him all over again.

It was different with James, more certain and stable. But with Regulus, every time she saw
him she stumbled. If James was the ground beneath her feet, Regulus was an earthquake. He
worked in tandem with James to knock Lily from her feet and she knew she’d never be able
to stand again, not like she had before.

But she’d screwed them up. It hadn’t been James’ fault at all, and certainly hadn’t been
Regulus’ but hers. She’d been playing the part of the confident fool for James’ sake but god it
was weighing on her.

It would be one thing if she’d ruined her own relationship with Regulus, but to fuck up
James’ as well was another level of assholery.

“So what did you want to say?” Sirius asked, clearly ready to get the topic of conversation
away from himself.

James glanced at Lily anxiously, not nearly as confident as he;d been before and Lily nodded.

She wanted it over with. Sirius would have to find out eventually, better James say it then her.
James was Sirius’ favourite.

James returned the nod and took a deep breath, “It's about Lily and I’s relationship,”

Right, this was happening.

“Oh god, you haven’t broken up again have you?” Remus teased, winking at Lily.

James laughed nervously, “No we haven’t broken up,’ He glanced at Lily again and she tried
to offer him a reassuring smile. Maybe Sirius wouldn’t mind, “It's about Regulus,”

Sirius tensed sat up, his attention piqued, “About why he wasn’t at meals? Do you know
why? Did he tell you? I was looking for him today but Rosier said he was tired from last
night,”

“Yeah, we know a bit about it,” James said.

“Spit it out Prongs,” Remus said. He was leaning back onto the sofa, looking very
comfortable. His knuckles were brushing against Sirius’ thigh.

Lily wondered if these small moments of affection had always been commonplace between
them, or if it was something that had blossomed alongside their relationship. She and James
had rarely touched before they dated, but then again, James had been trying to be respectful
of her and she’d been trying to stop herself from falling in love.

Remus and Sirius must have gone through a period where they were uncertain about being
around each other. She wondered if that was what had happened last year.

“Lily and I walked Regulus back to his dorm last night,” James was saying, “And we ended
up going all the way up, only he had a small panic attack and asked us to leave,”

Sirius shot off the sofa quickly, worry flashing in his eyes, “You left him?!” He demanded
incredulously.

“Calm down Sirius,” Lily soothed, stepping in when she saw James’ anxious eyes, “We
wouldn’t have, but Evan came up. We thought it best that he stay with Regulus instead of us
because-”

She couldn’t say it again.

“Because what?” Sirius asked, he was chewing his nails. Lily wondered if Regulus had
picked up the habit from him or the other way around, “Do you know what freaked him out?”

James took a breath.

A rush of fear flooded through Lily’s bones. She didn’t want this. She wanted things to go
back to how they were, she wanted to have not messed everything up.

“Lily and I told him we loved him,” James confessed.

Lily wasn’t completely sure what happened next. Her ears were ringing awfully bad, she
could barely hear a thing, but one moment Sirius was standing up in front of the sofa and
Remus and James was sitting on a chair. The next, James had fallen off his chair and Sirius
was standing over him with fury in his eyes.

“Christ Padfoot!” Reus exclaimed, jumping up and grabbing his hand, which was positioned
to hit James again.

Lily stood up quickly as well, once her senses came back, and went to James’ side.

His cheek was red from where Sirius’ fist had made contact and his eyes were a bit
unfocused. Mostly, Lily noticed how full of tears they were.

She wasn’t sure she’d ever seen James cry. He’d gotten lots of horrible news, despite what
most people thought, James struggled just as much as the rest of them. The difference was,
James didn’t cry, yell or shut down. It worried her sometimes, that he was keeping everything
bottled up and not relying on them.
Right now, James’ eyes were welling with tears, and while Lily knew it was probably
because he’d just been punched in the face, she thought maybe it might be in part due to the
way Sirius was looking at them right now.

“What are you going on about?” Sirius demanded, ripping his arm from Remus’ grasp. Peter
had stood up now as well but was hanging a bit back.

“Sirius-” Lily tried.

“Did you find it funny to fuck with him like that!?” Sirius was shaking, “What? You toy with
him for a month or two to satiate your boredom and then break his heart?”

“Hang on-” James said, pushing himself up off the floor and helping Lily up as well.

“You know I always thought this shit was fun and harmless, sure we fucked with Snivellus a
few times-”

Lily flinched at the nickname.

“-but this is fucked, not just to him, it’d be one thing if it was to him, but you just couldn’t
stop and think about me for a second could you?”

“Sirius, calm down,” Remus said firmly, though he didn’t look happy with Lily and James
either.

“Don’t tell me to calm down! That’s my baby brother they’re love bombing! I’m going to
lose him! Again! Because of them!” He spat out the last word.

“Take a breath Sirius!” Remus said forcefully, “You’re pissed, I’m confused, and Peter’s
terrified, give them a chance to explain!”

Sirius didn’t tear his eyes away from Lily and James, but let himself be led back to the sofa to
settle down next to Remus. Maybe settle down wasn’t right. He was still bouncing with
wrath.

Lily spoke first, “We didn’t mean to freak him out,”

“And it wasn’t a prank,” James spat. The tears were gone.

Lily put a hand on his arm to calm him down, she should have known this wouldn’t end well.
THis was the second time in the span of two days she should have known better. She couldn’t
keep fucking up like this, “We really do love him,”

“You barely know him,” Sirius protested.

“We know him better than you!” James retorted.

“James!” Lily swatted his arm then turned to Sirius, her hands outstretched in a placating
gesture, “We do know him Sirius, we love him and-” Lily thought back to that night. Then
thought of every moment with him.
Times she’d thought they’d kiss, when his eyes would catch on his lips, when his coat
became hers, when James would turn on the records and pull Regulus to his feet, Regulus
laughing at his antics, Regulus lifting her chin towards him.

She’d been so certain he loved them.

“I thought he felt the same,”

She felt James’ hand lace with hers but was focused on Sirius. He may not have hit her, but
he must have been just as angry with her as he was with James.

“Please Padfoot,” James pleaded, “I didn’t want to hurt you,”

Sirius didn’t answer. He glared fiercely at them, his lower lip trembling, “You have though,”
He said, “And worse, you hurt him,”

Lily stepped forward and shook her head, at the very least, she should take the blame she
deserved, “Its my fault Sirius,” She tightened her jaw and tilted her chin up, trying to seem
stronger then she felt, “We had a plan to make him comfortable and I didn’t stick to it,”

“I thought you couldn’t plan these things,” Sirius spat out.

“You can’t,” Lily said, “But we tried to and I messed it up,”

Remus stepped forward and put a hand on Sirius’ arm, “Why don’t you go try to find him
SIrius?” He offered gently, “Let him know you know what's going on, be a good brother,”

Sirius nodded tightly and rushed out of the common room without another word. He did send
one more glare in Lily and James’ direction, just harsh enough that Lily felt James tense next
to her.

Remus sighed and ran a hand through his hair once Sirius left, looking at them through his
lashes, “You couldn’t have just been happy with each other then? Needed Regulus satiate
your ego?”

“Remus,” It was Peter that spoke this time, touching his shoulder, “I think we should go,
Sirius probably wants our help,”

Remus tightened his jaw but nodded and grabbed the map from James’ bag, “Don’t go after
him,”

They left quickly, Peter smiling reassuringly in their direction before following Remus and
muttering something.

James slumped onto the sofa, his head falling in his hands. Lily sat down next to him, a
familiar feeling of defeat washing over her.

It could have gone worse. Sirius could have been angrier. Lily knew he’d forgive them
eventually, once everything was sorted out with Regulus (god she hoped it would be soon,
she missed him and it had only been a day) but she hated him hating them.
James had to feel the same way. Sirius was his best friend, they’d met and fallen in love with
each other in a way only they would ever understand. In a way that lacked dates at
Hogsmeade, longing glances and gentle touches, but was just as pure, important, and kind as
any other love.

Lily touched his wrist, tilting his face towards hers, “You didn’t do anything wrong,” She
insisted, once again pushing her own feelings down for his sake. James was always so strong,
she could be there for him this time.

Jsames nodded, his big brown eyes meeting hers, “I know,” He mumbled, his voice shaking.

“I mean it James,” She pulled him tight against her, needing the embrace as much as James
did, “You didn’t mess up,”

She didn’t add that she had most certainly messed up. She would shoulder her own guilt.

“Neither did you,” James murmured, his lips pressed against the bare skin of her neck, his
words reverberating through her body and mind.

Ah.

He knew her far too well.

REGULUS

Evan liked to say that he was Regulus’ best friend but both of them knew that wasn’t true.

Ever since Pandora had entered Regulus’ life in their third year, Evan had stepped down from
the role. He had never seemed too upset about it. After all, Regulus was a hassle to care for.

Even so, they still had a bond few others understood.

Knowing someone for as long as Regulus and Evan had known each other meant you would
never truly be replaced.

It also meant that when Regulus was feeling so entirely alone and broken that he wasn’t
willing to get out of bed, Evan brought him soup that Kinsy made specially for him.

Regulus accepted the soup, muttering a thank you. It was in a misshapen bowl, like the one
he’d gotten in early october, so he figured Kinsy must have made it herself.

“There you go Reg, Kinz said we could keep the bowl,” Evan sat down on Regulus’ bed,
nudging his feet where they were hidden under the blankets, “I hope we don’t amass a
collection though, at least until she gets better at pottery,”

“It's magic, not pottery,” Regulus responded, slurping a spoonful of the broth. He wasn’t sure
exactly what kind it was but it was a pale yellow with chunks of chicken and corn. Regulus
didn’t really like corn.

“Whatever it is, she’s bad at it,”

Evan hadn’t liked Kinsy much when they’d first met. He’d treated her same as he always did
house elves that weren’t his own or Kreacher, which is to say, rudely. Regulus had managed
to rid him of the habit rather quickly.

“How long are you planning on staying in bed?”

Regulus glared at his friend, “It's only been a day,”

Evan shrugged and motioned around the room, “And look at the state of our dorm, we need
you Reg,”

The room was a mess. Barty was never the most cleanly person, and Regulus had thrown a
tantrum this morning when Pandora had tried to drag him down to the great hall.

He hadn’t told her what had happened with James and Lily, partly because he knew she’d tell
him to face his feelings head on, partly because he didn’t even want to think of it.

He’d fallen asleep last night with their words torturing his mind. Sleep hadn’t been an escape.
He’d faced dream after dream, each one taking a moment he’d treasured with them and
twisted it into a torture.

Regulus didn’t understand why they’d done it.

He was sure they weren’t cruel, they were too good to be cruel, but the only other explanation
was that they were stupid. Contrary to what Regulus had believed earlier this year, neither
James nor Lily was stupid.

But then there was no excuse.

“Joston was asking about you by the way,” Evan said, taking Regulus’ empty bowl and
putting it on his desk.

“What about?”

“Wanted to know how you were doing,” He began to throw things around the room. Regulus
thought it might have been an attempt at cleaning.

“What did you tell her?”

“That you were feeling like shit,’

Regulus barked out a laugh and let himself flop down on his bed, pulling the covers over his
head and squeezing his eyes shut.

He supposed he should feel pleased that people had actually noticed he was gone and cared
enough to ask. He’d expected Evan to allow him to stay inside their dorm and avoid
everything, he’d expected to be able to disappear, unfortunately, Regulus had somehow
managed to amass a group of people that cared about him.

What a surreal thing being loved was.

“Do you want me to leave you alone?” Evan asked.

Regulus was still under the covers with his eyes shut, but he could feel the bed indent where
Evan sat down.

“Yes please,” Regulus muttered, peeking his eyes out, “And keep people from coming in,”

Evan nodded and stood up, closing the door with a soft goodbye.

He kept his word, only coming back with Barty in the evening, when they were ready to go to
sleep.

Regulus didn’t get up until midday on the 23rd.

According to Evan, Sirius had been trying to speak to him for days and had taken to sleeping
outside of the Slytherin common room which had gotten him in trouble with Flich.

Pandora hadn’t been as tenacious as Sirius, but she’d been trying to speak with Regulus as
well. So had Joston.He’d gotten a few letters that he hadn’t opened, one from his mother, two
from James and probably Lily, one from Narcissa, and one from an unknown address.

He’d torn the ones from James without reading them and hadn’t gotten around to reading the
others, despite having plenty of time over the past few days.

Regulus sat up in his bed and threw his legs over the side. Barty glanced over at him at the
noise.

“Are you going somewhere?”

Regulus nodded, walked methodically towards his wardrobe and selected some clothes. A
striped jumper and some trousers that hung loose on his frame. He’d been eating mostly soup
for the past few days and could do with a proper meal.

Not in the great hall.

“Yeah. just going down to the kitchens,”

Barty hummed. He was poured over a textbook on the dark arts, his quill tucked behind his
ear, making him look feathered, “Can you bring me something sweet back?”

“Sure, what do you want?”

He shrugged without looking up, “Surprise me,”

Regulus rolled his eyes, “I hate you,” He called out as he left the dorm, his hands stuffed in
the pocket of his jeans.

“Love you too Reggiekins!”

Despite himself, Regulus smiled as he walked down the steps to the common room. It felt
strange, after days of blank staring at his canopy.

Joston was in the common room and he waved to her, mumbling a hello as he passed by. She
returned the gesture.

He was sure she wanted to ask him what was going on with him but he wouldn’t answer. He
was far too hungry. He just wanted to get a muffin for Barty, some coffee and biscuits for
himself, and then have a nice conversation with Kinsy.

Of course the world was not kind to Regulus Black, so before he could make it two steps out
of his dorm, he stumbled over a black dog that was lying in front of his dorm.

He caught himself before he ate the stone floor and bit down a curse that threatened to leave
his mouth.

To its credit, the dog stood up immediately. It yelped and plodded towards Regulus, its head
hung low in an apology.

Regulus had always been partial to cats personally, but Sirius loved dogs enough that Regulus
had become fond of them by proxy.

“Sorry,” He muttered, patting the dog as it looked up at him, its big grey eyes, strangely
similar to Regulus’, pouting. Regulus thought he might look familiar. The hint of a memory
vibrated at the edge of his mind, outlined by a photograph hung on a bed frame.

“What’s your name?” He asked gently, scratching behind the dog's ears and lifting its chin up
to look for a collar. It wasn’t wearing one.

The dog flopped onto the floor, its paws in the air and stomach exposed to Regulus. It clearly
expected a belly rub.

Regulus laughed and complied, scratching under its chin and belly.

“Whose are you?” He asked, more to himself than the dog, but it sat up on its hindlegs
anyway and tilted its head.

“I suppose you can’t answer, can you?” He sighed and stood up, the dog whimpering slightly
and pawing at his legs as he began to walk away. Regulus laughed as it followed him, “I was
going to come back you know? I was just going to find McGonagall,”

Suddenly, the bog barked, pawing at Regulus again and when he didn’t react to it, he gently
bit his pantleg.

Regulus glared down at him, tugging his leg away, but the dog kept looking up at him and
Regulus’ anger dissipated. He squatted down in front of the dog again, scratching behind its
ears, “Don’t you want me to find McGonagall?”

The dog barked and walked in a circle a few times, before plopping itself down in front of
Regulus again.
Regulus frowned, he’d never met an animal like this. The dog seemed very aware of what it
was saying, “Do you want to come with me? I can get you some food,”

Regulus didn’t recognize the dog, nor did it have a collar on, so he had to assume it wasn’t
eating much.

They walked down to the kitchens together, the dog sniffing Regulus’ hand whenever it
wanted attention and pawing at his legs. When they got to the kitchens, the dog stopped in its
tracks and started barking at the portrait.

“What's wrong?” Regulus asked, trying to soothe him down with a few pats.

It stopped barking quickly, but a low growl came from its throat.

“You don’t want to go inside?”

The dog barked again.

Regulus sighed and stood up, walking towards the portrait, “You just wait here for a bit then,
I’ll go in and grab food, then be right back out,” He supposed that would mean that he
wouldn’t get to talk with Kinsy, but she might be busy anyways.

The dog continued to whine but Regulus ignored him, waving behind him as the portrait
disappeared to reveal the kitchen.

He was greeted by a number of elves as he made his way to the corner table with fold out
chairs. He didn’t see Kinsy, but it didn’t matter now that he wasn’t staying.

“What would Master Regulus like to eat?” An elf asked, one he didn’t recognize or know the
name of.

“Just Regulus is fine, and I’ll have a coffee and biscuits if it's not too much to ask,” He’d pick
up Barty’s muffin from the bowl at the front just before leaving.

The elf nodded, darting into the crowd to prepare what Regulus had asked for.

Before Regulus had the chance to sit down, another person entered the kitchen, scanning the
room before finding Regulus and walking towards him.

Regulus sighed. This might as well happen.

Sirius marched up to him, grabbing his shoulder and looking him up and down, “What’s
wrong with you?”

Regulus scowled, brushing Sirius’ hand away, “Morning to you as well,”

“It’s the afternoon,”

“Either way that's not a great way to say hello,”

Sirius sat down in one of the chairs, kicking his feet up on the table.

“Don’t do that,” Regulus snapped, “Your boots are disgusting,”

Sirius rolled his eyes, but set his feet on the floor anyway and raised an eyebrow in Regulus'
direction.

He huffed, turning away from his brother.

He wondered if Sirius knew what had happened with James and Lily. Regulus didn’t imagine
they’d been advertising it, considering how it had turned out, but James and Sirius were best
friends.

“I know what happened with James and Lily,”

Ah.

“Do you?” He said coolly, not looking at Sirius. The elf came back, holding a mug and a
plate of biscuits and Regulus thanked him softly, then started towards the exit.

“Hey! Wait!” Sirius grabbed his shoulder, almost making Regulus spill some of the drink, “I
do know, and I want to talk to you,”

Regulus shrugged him off again but was interrupted before he could protest.

“Regulus!” An excited voice travelled across the room drawing his attention. Kinsy stood
triumphantly with a book in her hand, he recognized it as the grammar book he’d given her.

She bounded over, here large ears flopping as she moved, “Kinsy has not seen you in so long!
I am pleased!”

He grinned, “It's good to see you as well Kinsy,”

“Is this why you turned them down?” Sirius whispered, “You’ve already got yourself a girl?”

Regulus glared at him and kicked his shin, where he knew it would hurt.

“And you have brought a friend! Kinsy is pleased to see him as well,”

Regulus swallowed harshly and forced out a smile, “This is Sirius, my brother,”

Kinsy nodded dramatically, her ears flopping around and covering her large eyes, “He is
friends with Miss Lily if I am remembering right,”

Sirius grinned, “He most certainly is,” he turned to Regulus, “If you’re planning on leaving
because of that dog, I wouldn’t, he’s already left,”

Regulus frowned, “How did you know about the dog?” His eyes narrowed, “Have you been
following me?”

Sirius shook his head, “Just a coincidence,”

Kinsy led them to the table, regaling Regulus with stories of her reading. Apparently Marco
and Jiffy had offered to take her over her duties in the kitchen when they could, which had
given her plenty of time to study and learn.

She’d gotten the hang of pronouns, when to use them or when to use someone’s name, but
was still struggling with addressing herself.

“I am working very hard,” She assured Regulus, “And the law book is so very intriguing to
I,”

“I’m glad,” Regulus said, taking a small bite of the biscuits on his plate and a sip of his
coffee, “Your bowl has been useful as well, though Evan says it clashes with his decor,”

Kinsy laughed, a high and screechy thing that made Regulus wince, then stood up abruptly,
“Kinsy is needed to help out, but I will be back soon,”

“I’ll wait,” He assured her, waving as she disappeared among her peers.

Sirius sat forward, nudging Regulus’ arm lightly, “We need to talk,”

Regulus tightened his jaw and refused to look at his brother. He didn’t want to talk. He
wanted to pretend it hadn’t happened.

“Fine,” Sirius said at his silence, “I’ll talk,”

Regulus sighed and leaned back in his chair, avoiding Sirius’ gaze. He didn’t know what
James and Lily had said to him, but he didn’t want to listen to it. He was tired, of everything
to be truthful, but of emotions more than anything else.

Sometimes, when he was truly in the trenches, he’d find himself missing the years where he
could shut himself off. Narcissa had taught him when his parents got upset, and he liked it.
Being numb. He used to crave it so much that he would sit on his hands until they were
tingling.

Of course, he grew up, the option of shutting down became a distant dream and it was hard to
come back from.

“I want you to know I didn’t know they were planning that, honestly I don’t think they knew
they were going to do it either but that's besides the point,” Sirius touched his hand for a
second before pulling away, “I wouldn’t risk this, not for anything,”

Regulus knew he was lying. He would put James over Regulus if it came down to it, but
Regulus couldn’t fault him for it. He was haf certain he’d put James first as well, even now.

“You’re my brother, Versailles,”

Regulus tensed. He hated that nickname, the same way he hated the sunshine nickname.

“I’m on your side okay? If you want to talk, lets talk,”

“I don’t want to talk,” Regulus spat out, “I want you to leave me alone,”

He didn’t really want Sirius to go, but he didn’t really want to talk about it either.

“Oh! Would Regulus like to be alone?” Kinsy said, appearing again wearing a large apron
that had something brown stained on it.

“No,” Regulus said quickly. For some reason it was always easier to be open with house
elves, they weren’t nearly as judgmental as wizards, “Have you had the chance to read that
law book I got you?”

Kinsy nodded enthusiastically, hopping up on a chair. Her legs weren’t long enough to touch
the floor so they hung awkwardly off the cushion. She didn’t waste a second, instantly
jumping on the olive branch Regulus extended and telling them about her thoughts.

Sirius was surprisingly nice to Kinsy. Based on his interactions with Kreacher, Regulus had
expected him to be cruel but he asked Kinsy questions about her reading and actually listened
to her answers.

Regulus didn’t even have to talk much and he began to lose track of time. Barty was probably
going to be upset that he wasn’t back yet with his muffin but Regulus didn’t care much.

Even though he’d been resting most of the past few days, he hadn’t been sleeping much.
When he did get the chance to, it was never peaceful or satisfying.

He felt his eyes begin to droop as Kinsy and Sirius spoke and let them fall shut, just for a
moment.

When he opened his eyes again, the kitchen was empty apart from Kinsy, Sirius and himself.
He must have fallen asleep.

His head was resting on Sirius’ arm and he could hear his brother talking to Kinsy in his soft
tones.

Regulus lifted his head up, rubbing his eyes so he could blink out the black spots that had
started to appear, “Sirius?” He murmured, his voice soft and gravelly.

Sirius turned to him. He’d pulled his hair back into a low bun but a few strands were framing
his face. He had a bit of chocolate in the corner of his mouth, probably from the biscuits
Regulus had gotten.

“Evening Reg,” He squeezed Regulus' hand which was still resting on the table, “Want to
head up to your dorm now?”

Regulus yawned, sleep still muddling his mind, and nodded, pushing himself off of the chair.
His back was a bit sore from the awkward sleeping position on a wooden chair.

“I’ll come down tomorrow Kinsy?” He asked, feeling sorry he hadn’t really gotten to talk to
her.
She grinned and waved goodbye, “Not tomorrow, I will be very busy with food tomorrow,
but I is excited to speak to you again, after you untangle this mess with Master Potter and
Mistress Evans of course,”

“Alright time to go Regulus!” Sirius said quickly, grabbing Regulus’ arm and dragging him
out of the kitchen with a wave to Kinsy.

Regulus wrenched his arm out of Sirius’ grasp, now fully awake and angry, “What did you
say to her?” He demanded.

Sirius, at the very least, had the decency to seem guilty, “Nothing,” He paused, looking away
from Regulus sheepishly, “I just wanted her advice on how to talk to you about it,”

Regulus groaned and began making his way to his common room. He didn’t understand.
Why couldn’t people stay out of his business? Leave him to self destruct in silence. It was
easier for everyone involved, Regulus included.

“Wait! Reg, please. You haven’t been leaving your room, Evan won’t let me in, I’m worried!
And you seem to like Kinsy, I’m sorry but you can’t do this to me. I’m your brother! I’m
going to try to talk to you,”

Regulus scoffed, “You care about me when it's convenient for you, lets not pretend you aren’t
here for James,”

When it came to Sirius, James came first. Before anything else. Before Regulus. No matter
what Sirius tried to tell him.

Regulus couldn’t blame him, but he could hate him.

“I haven’t been speaking to James, not since he told me what happened,”

“Merlin Sirius, at least try to make your lies believable,”

“Hey!” Sirius caught Regulus’ wrist, making him lurch back. WHen Regulus whirled around
to glare at him and say something snippy, he cut himself off at the genuine anger in Sirius’
eyes.

“I’m not a liar Regulus,” Regulus squirmed his wrist a bit, trying to shake Sirius off. Maybe
it was exhaustion, maybe it was the realisation that Sirius wasn’t lying, maybe it was his
prolonged repression coming back to haunt him, but he wanted to tell Sirius everything in
that moment.

“I’m not a liar and I want to be here for you,” He let go of Regulus’ arm, “I haven’t been, and
that’s a lot of people's faults, but Regulus please!”

Regulus wasn’t sure what it was he was asking for. To tell Sirius exactly what was tormenting
him, to confess the burning feelings inside his heart for James and Lily, to push him away?
He wanted to do all of those things, simultaneously.

He pulled Sirius towards him, wrapping his arms around him as tight as he could and sobbed.
 Sobbed because he didn’t know how else to tell him what was wrong but he had to tell him.
Sobbed because every other time he’d cried it had been painful, ripped from him. This time,
his tears were gifts, they were pleas, they were freeing.

They hurt because it had been so long since he let himself cry freely, without feeling shame
over it, without panicky breathing following it, without trying and failing to hold it back.

He vaguely registered Sirius pulling them into an empty classroom and wrapping his arms
around Regulus, whispering kind words in his ear. He felt his knees hit the floor, probably
bruising them.

He hoped no one could hear him, that Flitwick or McGonagall would come into the room and
see him crumbled on the floor, his cries high and reedy, his nose leaking snot, desperate pleas
escaping his lips.

Please Sirius stay, don’t leave, I don’t know what to do, I can’t do it anymore, why would
they, can you stay, leave me alone, hold on tighter, it hurts, I hate them, why don’t you care,
can we please pause, I love them, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, Sirius.

He wasn’t sure what he was saying and what he was thinking, all he knew was that Sirius
stayed. He held him tight and murmured responses that Regulus couldn’t register.

Regulus’ throat was burning from his crying but god the heat felt nice. He’d been so cold for
the past few days.

“Regulus,” Sirius’ voice whispered, piercing Regulus’ cries, “Regulus,” He said it again,
softer than Regulus had ever heard his name uttered.

“Sirius,” He replied, barely choking out the word, “I don’t know what to do,” The words
were garbled, barely making sense but he knew Sirius understood.

He quieted down as time went on, and Sirius’ smoothed his hair down, like Narcissa used to
do to help him fall asleep.

Sirius sighed, tucking Regulus’ head under his chin, “You love them,”

It wasn’t a question or an accusation, but when Regulus cried harder, Sirius understood.

Chapter End Notes

ohmygosh this took forever to write I'm so sorry.

I hope its somewhat worth the wait?? I did my best, I've been rather busy

You may have noticed that I've decided how many chapters are left! I hope to be done
writing before june, but I can't make any promises I'm so sorry.
One chapter will be for the subplots (dorlene, wolfstar, pandora, ect) with a hint of
jegulily, then two for jegulily with hints of everything else

Thank you so much for reading! Again, I'm sorry for the wait I'll try to be more
consistent in the future
 The Helpful Consequences Of Letters
Chapter Summary

everyone is in love, most of them are happy

Chapter Notes

Everyone say thank you to blueberry_fluff for helping me out with the filipino
representation in this chapter. They advised that I add in that elders are often addressed
with the honorific "po" and greeted by bowing and touching your forehead to their hand
then saying "bless po".

See the end of the chapter for more notes

XENOPHILIUS

Xenophilius was not a particularly attractive man. His nose was crooked and his eyes were
wide and unnerving. He was weirdly pale and his blond hair made him look washed out. It
seemed that once he’d been disowned, all of the good looks the Malfoys were known for had
left him as well.

Luckily, Pandora never put much emphasis on looks. Though she might have been the most
beautiful woman Xenophilius had set his gaze on. Her glasses made her eyes look buggy. Her
hair was thin and stringy. She had spots all across her cheeks and forehead.

Xenophilius couldn’t help but fawn. She smelled of lavender soap and pinched the tip of her
nose when she was thinking. She was interested when he spoke of magical creatures most
people wrote off as myths and asked questions. He knew she valued reason and logic, so the
fact that she was willing to listen to his ramblings made him blush.

It was Christmas eve and Xenophilius was sitting in the ravenclaw common room. Pandora
sat across from him, hier nose stuck in his copy of “Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find
Them”. She was reading the notes he’d made in the margins and adding to them with red ink.

He was sure he hadn’t thought of her like this last year. He was sure he’d written her off as
some silly little girl with dreams and brains bigger than her glasses.

Something had changed between them. Something carnal and wonderful that would have
pissed off Xenophilius’ parents.
He wondered what they might think if they could see him falling so deeply in love with
someone like Pandora.

When she glanced up from his book, her eyes crinkling with a smile, her forehead wrinkling,
her mouth wide and happy, he found he didn’t care.

EVAN

“Do you think Regulus will abandon us when he starts dating Evans and/or Potter?” Barty
asked Evan, his voice carrying over from the washroom.

Evan rolled his eyes. He was reading Regulus’ muggle book (at Pandora’s request, and
certainly not because he was finding it interesting) and could not be bothered to deal with
Barty’s moaning. He was having a hard enough time understanding the words already.

“Might abandon you, sure. But we’re cousins, he and I. He can’t get rid of me,” Evan
grinned, “He also likes me more than you,” He added on cheekily.

“Shut up!” Barty whisper-yelled, trying not to rouse Regulus who’d passed out on Barty’s
bed. He emerged from the bathroom with a loofa pointed at Evan, “At least he chose to be
friends with me, you two only started talking because you share an aunt,”

“And yet he still prefers me,”

Barty threw the loofa at Evan, missing terribly. For a beater, he truly had the worst aim,
“You’re an arse,”

“You’re the arse,” Evan shot back quickly, mindful of the volume of his voice. Regulus
sleeping soundly was a rarity, Evan would not be the one to disrupt it.

Barty flopped ungracefully down onto the foot of Evan’s bed, his hair still damp. Evan
thought he might be able to see drops of water trail down the side of his face onto his neck.

It was too bad Barty had such a horrible personality. Girls might have found him attractive
otherwise.

“What are you reading?”

“Muggle book,” He shut it, folding over the corner of the page to mark his spot. When Barty
got in one of his moods, Evan often had to deal with it. Come to think of it, he had to deal
with most of his friends when they got in their moods, “Bloody confusing but a bit interesting
if I’m to be honest,”

Barty scrunched up his nose (Evan would not entertain the idea that he found it endearing),
“Is it Regulus’?”
“Pandora’s I’m pretty certain,”

“She’s a bad influence on you,”

Evan scoffed, “Why? Because I’m expanding my taste in literature?”

Barty nodded, and amused smirk on his face, “You used to be fun, now you’re reading,”

“Can they not coexist?”

“They most certainly cannot,”

Evan laughed, tossing the book towards his nightstand. He was almost certain it didn’t fall off
but even if it had, he would just pick it up before Regulus noticed.

“It's Christmas morning tomorrow,” Barty said after a moment or two of silence.

“Astute observation,”

“Think Regulus is gonna get me textbooks again?”

Evan laughed, remembering how red Regulus was last year. He’d given his gifts out first, and
after seeing what everyone else had given, very quickly realised that the holidays with his
friends were very different from holidays with his family. They’d teased him about it because
that was what they did. But honestly, the transfiguration textbook he’d gotten was still tucked
away back home. Alongside the stories his mum used to read to him to fall asleep.

“Nah, Dora said he made Kinz cry with his gift, and since when have you known Regulus to
be anything less than perfect,”

“Fair enough,” Barty said with a laugh, stretching out on his back, his legs hanging off the
bed. He didn;t speak for another few moments, then lifted his head to look at Evan again,
“You don’t really think he’ll replace us?”

Evan sighed, ignoring the sick, anxious feeling in his stomach. Maybe he’d been spending
too much time with Regulus. “No I don’t think he will,”

Barty returned to his bunk after an hour or so of talking.

Sometimes Evan really wished he’d never met either of them. Maybe then, he wouldn’t be
reading a muggle book from the light of his wand, imagining himself and his best friend in
the roles.

MARY

Mary shot down the steps to the Slytherin common room, two at a time. She held a letter in
her hand that was opened, crumpled, and addressed to one Daisy Joston.

“Emases Nepo!” She exclaimed at the stone wall which opened at her words.
Daisy was curled in a chair by the fire, her hair done up into a bun and a cup of tea in front of
her. She glanced at Mary when she came in, immediately brightening and uncurling from her
chair

“Whatcha doing here Sapling?”

Mary couldn’t voice her excitement, she shoved the letter towards Daisy, garbled squeals of
anticipation coming from her mouth. She was trying to tell Daisy to read the letter and thanks
to their years of knowing each other, Daisy understood her.

Her eyes trailed over the page, getting wider and wider the more she read.

She looked up at Mary, who was still standing above her, with tears welling in the corners of
her eyes.

“I got in,” She whispered. If Mary hadn’t read the letter herself, she never would have known
what Daisy had said.

“You got in!” Mary replied, finally able to get words out.

Daisy jumped up, laughing and crying at the same time and scooped Mary up into her arms.
They were both making noises, though neither could understand a word that was being said.

Daisy had applied to work at the ministry through an internship with the Wizengamot. After
climbing the ranks there, she hoped to make it to the head of the Department of Magical Law
Enforcement, then become Minister of Magic, in no more than seven years.

And she was off to a wonderful start.

“You were accepted!” Mary exclaimed after Daisy set her back down.

Daisy sat back down, almost collapsing back into her seat, “I can’t believe this, I actually got
in to the program,” She grinned at Mary, “I haven’t even taken my N.E.W.Ts yet, and they
already want me,’

Mary sat down beside her, her energy fading into a sweet excitement, “Because you're
brilliant,” She took her hand, “You’re going to change the world Daisy,”

Daisy grinned at Mary, “You won’t forget me once I leave, will you?”

“Absolutely not! You’re my ticket to a career Daisy, I won’t be letting that go anytime soon,”

The other girl laughed softly, relief clear in her voice, “I can’t believe everything really paid
off,”

Mary smiled softly, “Of course it did,”

As much as Mary knew that Daisy was more qualified than half the people at the ministry to
work there, she also knew what kind of world they lived in.
Daisy and Mary had grown up a few blocks apart. They’d gone to a primarily all-white
school until they got to Hogwarts and it still wasn’t the picture of diversity. Mary knew how
hard Daisy worked, she knew how many people she was proving wrong. People that would
never know how successful two black girls that they called all sorts of names had become.

It pissed Mary off a little but not enough to ruin how wonderful this news was.

Daisy sighed, leaning back on the sofa, “I can’t believe this,” She marvelled, “Mums gonna
cry,”

“So will mine,” Mary said with a laugh, “She likes you more than me,”

“shut up, my dad likes you better,”

“only because I taught him how to knit,”

Daisy smiled and reached over to touch Mary’s hand, “I’ll miss you once I’m gone, and I’ll
worry,”

Mary scoffed, “You’re going to worry about me? You’re the one going off into the real
world,”

“Sure, but I won’t be here to protect you next year, and you can’t expect me to trust your
gryffindor friends to do it.”

Mary laughed, “I thought you liked Marlene!”

“I do!” Daisy said, “But you’re too good for them, all of them,”

“Well I worry about you too you know?”

Daisy raised her eyebrow, “Why?”

“Because your closest friends are bigots half the time and I don’t like seeing you hurt,” She
crossed her arms across her chest, looking away from Daisy.

“I’ve been taking care of myself for years, Sapling,” Daisy said softly, leaning into Mary’s
side, touching their shoulders.

“Don’t care,” Mary said petulantly, “I can worry all I want,”

“Sure you can,” Daisy said with a laugh, “But don’t do stupid things like tell James Potter to
throw a match,”

Mary felt her face heat up, “Shut up,” She muttered, burying her face in Daisy.

Daisy had been so pissed at her over that. Of course, Mary didn’t back down, but she did feel
bad for lying to James and saying it was what Daisy wanted instead of telling him that it was
her idea all along.
“I’ll miss you,” She murmured, the fabric of Daisy’s shirt muffling her voice.

Daisy pressed a kiss to her forehead, “I’ll miss you too,”

The green hue of the Slytherin common room had always unnerved Mary. She hated
swimming and anything to do with deep water. Trying to relax while sitting directly next to a
large window with fish and other sea creatures floating by was nearly impossible.

Daisy had taken her to a small lake by their house once. It was honestly more of a large pond
than lake but Mary had still cried the minute her foot touched the water. She had immediately
ran away not thinking about where she stepped. When she’d stepped on a sharp rock and
fallen down, crying even harder, Daisy had carried her back to the house.

She had always been strong, Mary had been surprised when she wasn’t a beater but she
supposed it fit. Daisy was always saving other people.

“Write to me?” Mary asked, not fearing the answer whatsoever.

“Everyday Sapling,”

MARLENE

Celeste McKinnon was a short woman with waist-length black hair, round cheeks and eyes
that creased when she smiled. When she’d seen Marlene and Dorcas at the train station she’d
immediately swept Marlene in her arms and offered a polite handshake to Dorcas.

The entire train ride, Marlene had been quizzing Dorcas on how to act around her family. She
knew her grandparents would be there, they lived with her mother and was fairly certain her
older brother would be there as well. Her aunts, uncles and cousins would be coming for
supper, but that wasn’t for another few hours.

Hopefully, Dorcas would remember everything Marlene had taught her. Elbows off the table,
shoes off at the front door, never take the last serving on the table, always accept food when
offered.

Luckily, it wasn’t that different to Dorcas’ household but Marlene was still very grateful for
the flashcards tucked away in Darcas’ pocket.

Her mother apparated all three of them back to Marlene’s house and she felt a rush of
nostalgia upon seeing it.

There was a lovely flower garden in the front that Marlene knew was blooming even in the
cold weather because of her grandmother. She must have cast preserving charms because
Marlene was sure daffodils and tulips should not look as wonderful as they did after a good
few inches of snow.

The door was thrown open before Marlene’s mum had touched it and Marlene was pulled
into a tight hug.
Marlene’s grandmother was just as short as her daughter with a plump frame and wrinkled
skin. She clung tightly to Marlene, speaking in rapid tagalog that Marlene could barely keep
up with.

“Hello lola ,” Marlene said her cheeks hurting from where her grandmother had pinched
them, “I’ve missed you as well,”

She greeted Dorcas and Marlene’s mother as well, Marlene's mother with a much looser and
quicker hug and Dorcas by clutching her hands.

Dorcas bowed down in front of her, pressing her hand to her forehead, "bless po,"

Marlene's grandmother grinned at Dorcas, kissing her cheek quickly when she rose back up.

"I like this one," She whispered to Marlene after leading them inside and towards the kitchen
and Marlene felt a swell of pride rush through her.

“She’s missed you, Mar-Mar,” Marlene’s mother said as they went into the living room and
snapped her fingers, making Dorcas and Marlene’s bags disappear. Marlene assumed they’d
reappeared in her room, “We all have,”

They took their shoes off and put them in a neat line by the door. Marlene noticed there was
lots of space for more shoes to sit which probably meant her extended family would be
coming as well.

Marlene’s grandfather was in the sitting room and Marlene bent down to kiss him on the
cheek when she came in. Dorcas waved politely and accepted his outstretched hand.

He stayed in the sitting room when Marlene’s mother and grandmother led her to the kitchen
with Dorcas in tow.

“We could use your help with the food, Mar-Mar,” Her mother said, facing a pot that was on
the stove. Marlene recognized the smell immediately.

“What do you need?”

“Do whatever your grandmother asks,”

“I could help as well if you’d like Mrs McKinnon,” Dorcas offered. She was standing a bit
awkwardly in the kitchen, her hands tapping at her side.

“Absolutely not,” Marlene’s mother insisted, stepping away from the stove for a moment to
lead Dorcas over to a chair by the counter and sitting her down, “You’re going to tell us all
about my Mar-Mar at school,” She glared at Marlene, “I send her my best owl and she still
doesn’t write to me,”

Dorcas laughed and heeded Marlene’s mother’s request. She talked alot about quidditch and
James, both of which were topics that delighted Marlene’s mother.
Marlene’s grandmother asked a few questions as well which Marlene translated for Dorcas.
To everyone’s surprise however, Dorcas picked up on a few words of tagalog. She clearly
wasn’t fluent but could understand some of the basics.

“I started teaching myself,” She said sheepishly, glancing at Marlene and avoiding her gaze at
the same time.

Marlene’s grandmother asked another question, her eyes sparkling a bit with excitement and
Dorcas shook her head.

“I speak a little arabic and some italian, but not really enough to say I can speak the
language,”

“How’d you learn that?” Tita Caresse asked, she and her husband (Marlene’s mother’s
brother) had arrived not long ago and he’d sat down with Marlene’s grandfather in the sitting
room. He did try and help cook, but Marlene’s mother had shooed him away.

“My mum speaks Arabic and my dad speaks Arabic and Italian. They never really taught my
siblings and I though,”

Tita Careese tutted, mumbling something in tagalog under her breath. Marlene was sure it
was snarky, most things Tita Careese said were.

“Where’d they learn?” Marlene asked, she hadn't actually known Dorcas could speak
anything but english.

“Home, in Somalia,” Her face brightened, “Actually, now that I think about it, I am learning
Somali,”

“Good,” Marlene’s mother said, scraping some onions into a pot, “Children should know
more than one language,”

“James doesn’t know more than one, nanay,” Marlene reminded her mother who glared at
Marlene over her shoulder. God forbid anymore talk badly about James Potter in her
presence,

“Mum loves James,” Marlene whispered to Dorcas, “I think more than me,”

More of Marlene’s family showed up throughout the night. Soon enough, supper was being
served and Marlene was talking to her older cousin. He worked as a magizoologist,
specifically studying avian equines.

“Mar-Mar!” Marlene’s mother called out. She was near Marlene’s old bedroom probably
wanting to make sure everything was set up properly for her and Dorcas, “Can you come here
please?’

“Yeah!” She called back, “Sorry, Gabriel, can’t say no to mum,”

“You most certainly cannot, Tita Celeste is a force to be reckoned with,” He said with a
laugh, waving to her then turning to speak with his sister.
Marlene followed her mother into her old room. Dorcas and her bags were in one corner, but
apart from that, nothing had changed since the summer. Her records were still hung up on the
walls, so was her guitar. Her sheets were still red and had a rip on the corner. The walls still
had small holes all over them from where she’d pinned things to them then taken it down.

“Would your Dorcas want her own bed or would you be fine with sharing?” Marlene’s mum
asked, “I don’t mind conjuring another one, though it might be a tight fit,’

Marlene’s heart warmed at Dorcas being referred to as hers, “We can share, we do it all the
time at school,”

“Good,” Marlene’s mother said, “I should get more pillows then,”

With the door closed, it felt like there was no one else in the world except for Marlene and
her mother. She could hear the bustle of her family setting the table. Could hear her Tita
Isabella chiding her children for stealing food before saying grace. Could see Dorcas’ bright
smile and crinkled eyes.

“Can I-” She took a breath, “Do you want to sit down nanay?”

Marlene’s mother raised her eyebrow but complied, perching herself on the edge of
Marlene’s bed. Marlene sat next to her, her hands shaking. She began to practise the braiding
movements she’d learnt for Dorcas.

Her mother touched her wrist, careful not to disrupt her movement and Marlene looked up at
her. Her fear must have been clear in her eyes because her mum had the kindest eyes focused
on Marlene.

“Tell me Mar-Mar,” She said softly, “I know you need to,”

Marlene felt the moisture in her throat rise to her eyes, threatening to spill from them, “You
know?” She choked out.

Her mum shrugged, so casual and easy it made Marlene tense up, “You’re my daughter, of
course I know,”

Marlene didn’t know how she could be so confident about Dorcas around her friends but not
around her family. How could that switch flip so quickly and involuntarily? She didn’t want
to feel ashamed. She wanted to tell her mum everything about Dorcas.

How her hair felt under Marlene’s fingers, how her words sent tingles down Marlene’s spine,
how she undid Marlene effortlessly.

She knew her mother would love to hear it. Love to know that Marlene trusted her. Love that
Marlene was loved as fiercely as she thought she deserved.

So why was she shaking?

Why couldn’t she stop hearing slurs she’d heard lobbed at openly queer students at school
coming from her mothers soft tone?
A bell rang, signifying that it was time for supper.

Marlene felt herself deflate. If there was one thing her mother refused to do, it was to be late
for supper. She’d have to postpone this conversation. SHe moved to stand up, when she felt
her mum’s hand tighten on her wrist.

The kindness in her eyes persisted, coupled with determination, “Tell me,” She insisted.

Two words uttered at the perfect time.

Marlene's mum had never, in the sixteen years Marlene had lived, postponed dinner. Her
grandmother had broken her back once and they could only visit her at 6:00 pm but still
Marlene’s mum did not budge. They would eat dinner at 6:00 and then they would visit Lola
and that was that.

But for Marlene, she was bending her rules. For Marlene, she would stop the world.

“I-” She’d stop the world, “I’m a lesbian,” She confessed, the word feeling unfairly dirty on
her tongue, “Dorcas and I- We-” She’d stop the world, she tried to remind herself, the nerves
coming up in her throat.

Marlene’s mum cupped her cheek gently, and Marlene leaned into it, “Is it love?”

Marlene nodded shakily, “It is,”

“Good,” Her mum said, “You deserve that girl’s love. It seems unending,” She stood up
quickly, pulling Marlene with her.

When they came into the dining room, a chorus of complaints rose from the table, half in
Tagalog, half in english. No one liked to sit and look at mouth watering food.

Marlene sat between her brother and Dorcas and her mother sat at the head of the table,
where her father used to sit. They joined hands to say grace and Marlene didn’t let go of
Dorcas’ until the meal was over.

REMUS

“You have to talk to them again eventually, you know?” Remus said. His legs were dangling
off the edge of the astronomy tower, a night breeze kissing goose pimples on his neck.

Sirius glared at him, his lips jutting out petulantly and turned away from him.

He hadn’t been speaking to James and it was making them both miserable. Sirius refused to
be around James. If they were in the dorm together, Sirius was in dog form. Sirius sent more
time outside the Slytherin common room than in their own. He sat as far away from James as
he could during meal times.
It wasn’t much better with Lily but Remus thought he have forgiven her more easily if she
was the only offender.

James was Sirius’ everything. Maybe it should have made Remus upset, but it didn’t. James
was everyone’s everything. He was so alive. He made breathing beautiful. You couldn’t be
jealous with James.

Sirius wasn’t jealous right now. An outside perspective might think so, but Remus knew. His
gaze lingered on James and Lily when they talked to each other in hushed voices. Padfoot
would always roll towards James when he was asleep. When Sirius madea joke (which was
rare these days) he would look instinctively to his right, where James always sat.

He missed James and he loved James but was frightened. For James, for Lily and for
Regulus, For the relationship he was trying to cultivate with Regulus and the one he already
had with James and LIly.

“Fine, don’t talk to me,”

“You don’t have much room to talk,” Sirius snapped, still not meeting Remus' gaze and
Remus winced. It was a low blow but accurate, he supposed. He wasn’t the greatest at talking
about things. In his defence, he was getting better.

Remus sighed, touching the edge of Sirius’ hand with the edge of his pinky. Sirius responded
quickly, linking their fingers like they were lifelines. He let out a small sigh at the contact,
leaning into Remus’ side.

“I’m tired of this,” He mumbled, burying his face into Remus’ neck, his lips tracing over his
collarbone.

“I know,” Remus soothed, rubbing small circles into Sirius’ back, “You could forgive them,”

Sirius scoffed, not pulling away from Remus. If anything, he moved closer, the grip on his
hand tightening.

“It is Christmas tomorrow,” Remus reminded him, bringing the hand that wasn’t holding
Sirius’ into his boyfriend’s hair. Sirius liked having his hair played with even when he was
younger.

Sirius snorted, “So I need to forgive and forget? Did you do that with me when I told Snape?”

Remus sucked in a breathe sharply, bringing his hands away from Sirius and pushing him
away, “Don’t compare that to this,”

“Why?” Sirius challenged, “It's a betrayal as well,”

“You could’ve gotten me and Snape killed. You could have gotten me kicked out of school or
sent to azkaban. James and Lily fell in love,” He said sternly, “And do remember Lily did the
same thing as James. You seem to be forgetting her role in all this,”
Sirius glared at him, guilt laced underneath, “Sorry,” He mumbled, his hand twitching
towards Remus’.

His move.

Remus joined their hands again. He was already dealing with enough, he didn’t have to put
arguing with Sirius on the list as well.

His move.

Sirius sighed and pulled into Remus. Tucking his face under his chin and tangling his hands
in Remus' hair. He pulled the hand that was holding his to rest on his waist and let go of it.
Choosing to trace the scars on Remus’ torse that lay under his clothes.

His move.

Remus let himself fall back on the stone ignoring the dampness of it and pulled Sirius down
with him. He let Sirius rest his head on Remus’ chest, let him crawl over Remus’ legs to
position himself comfortably.

His move.

“We really need to stop conducting our relationship like a chess game,” Sirius said, his voice
fond.

Remus shrugged as best he could from where he lay on the floor. He liked the pressure of
Sirius splayed against him, pinning him in place. He liked the feelings of Sirius fine hair
under his fingers.

Selfishly, he liked that Sirius’ anger towards James had meant they spent more time together.

Maybe it was possible to be jealous of James.

“I like it,” Remus stated, “It suits us,”

“You just like chess,”

“I really don’t” Remus protested. He used to like chess, then he started playing against Peter
who was the most intelligent chess player known to mankind. He still liked playing with his
mum sometimes and he’d play if Peter was desperate.

Sirius hummed gently, the sound reverberating against Remus’ chest. It gave him goose
pimples, the same way the breeze had earlier.

“I don’t want to go back,” Sirius murmured, tilting his head up to look at Remus.

His grey eyes looked blue in the lighting, his lashes cast shadows across his cheeks from the
moonlight. As much as Remus resented the moon, he couldn’t hate it because of how pretty it
made Sirius look. His cheekbones sharp like the thorns of a rose, his lips full and damp.
They should go back, it was cold and they hadn’t brought their wands. Remus thought it
might start to snow.

“We don’t have to,”

Sirius beamed, always wearing his emotions on his sleeve.

REGULUS

Andromeda,

I don’t imagine you’ll read this letter which is truly the only reason I’m writing it.

Sirius won’t leave me alone. He insists that he’s going to mend our relationship. I can’t help
but feel he’s setting himself up for disaster. I don’t think any part of him needs to be fixed, it’s
all me. And I don’t think I’m made for that.

Do you ever miss Cissy and Bella? Would you fix them? I think they’d want that. Even though
Bella would be stubborn about it in the beginning. It would be naive and childish of me to ask
you to invite them to your place for supper so I won’t.

Surprisingly, Sirius isn’t the biggest problem in my life. No, I brought this one on myself.

Has Sirius ever told you about James Potter? I imagine he has, they love each other very
dearly. Well James has a girlfriend, I imagine you know about her as well. Her name is Lily
Evans. They’ve started dating which has pleased James greatly.

Now back to my problem.

You see, Lily has lovely hair and prettier eyes. She models for me when I paint and I’ve never
felt such inspiration. I’ve never really understood muses but she’s mine. She’s kind and I’ve
never heard a voice like hers. And I’m in love with her.

I tutor James in potions and he’s not nearly as dim as I’d expected. He’s good at
transfiguration and helping me with my animagus transformation. I fell off my broom the
other day and he caught me. It felt nice when he held me. We kissed once at a party, I think it
was euphoric but I’m not familiar with the sensation. I’m in love with him.

It’s a pickle isn’t it?

Was love easy for you? When you ran away with your muggle born boy, were you frightened?
Nothing will ever happen between us. Mother wouldn’t allow it as Lily is a muggleborn and
James stole Sirius from us. Not to mention the fact that they don’t feel similarly.

I suppose it was rather rude of me to write to you for the first time in years only to complain
about my own problems but it was rather rude of you to leave your sisters and myself all
alone so I think it evens out
Regulus

He hadn’t expected a response. He hadn’t wanted a response but he held one in his hands
nevertheless.

Andromeda’s seal wasn’t anything like her old one. Her mother had designed seals for each
of her daughters. Each was inspired by the Black family seal and the Rosier seal with a touch
of personalization to it. Cissy had a rose on hers, Bella had a vine, and Andy had a leaf.

Now, her seal was simple. It was a T with edges that swirled. Aunt Druella would have been
disappointed with the plain design but she supposed that was how Andromeda liked it.

Her handwriting was still distinctly unperclass, practically a perfect match to Cissy’s and
Bella’s. His and Sirius’ were smaller than theirs. Mother always appreciated subtlety.

His hands shook as he folded open the paper, his eyes beginning to trace over the words she’d
penned.

Dear Regulus

I feel so horribly guilty that you think I would not read letters you write to me but I suppose
it's my own fault. I have not been there for you as I should have been.

I must admit, I have put off writing this letter for a long time. The words simply wouldn’t
come to me. I do hope this is not too little too late.

I’m pleased you are trying to fix your relationship with Sirius. It’s my greatest regret that I
did not stay with Cissy and Bella for longer. That I didn’t fight for them as they deserved. I
miss them everyday. My little girl (Nymphadora is her name, you simply must meet her) looks
so much like them it frightens me.

I cannot fix Cissy or Bella just as Sirius cannot fix you. But that doesn’t mean you three are
meant to be broken for the rest of your life. Your betterment depends on yourself.

I won’t reach out to either of them. They’ll have to contact me first. I won’t put my daughter
or husband in danger for my selfish want for my sisters.

Sirius has mentioned James and Lily, very fondly I might add. He says James saved him. I’m
very grateful to him for that.

This is where I began to rewrite and rewrite my words.

To start, I’m glad you paint. Ted says that art is a good way to cope.

Love was the hardest trial of my life. Ted says it was easy for him but to tell you the truth I’d
never struggled more. Running away from home for him, abandoning the belief system that
I’d accepted to survive, never seeing my sisters again, leaving them to face my consequences,
was frightening to say the least. I nearly went back every day for a good few weeks.

But it got easier.

The love I feel for Ted outweighed what I feared and it got easier. Not easy, but easier.

The way you talk about them, your James and Lily, tells me that you’re in for a lot of
struggling. I hope, for your sake, you love them more than you fear your expectations.

If you’d like, I’d be happy to have you over for the summer. I’m going to invite Sirius as well.
Nymphadora and Ted would love to meet you

With love, Andromeda

He saw dried tear stains on the paper, most frequent where she wrote about her sisters.

He traced his fingers over her signature. “With love”, He wasn’t sure anyone had ever
addressed him like that. The closest he could think of was when Cissy wrote “fondly”.

With love.

He reread what she’d written. What she’d said about Sirius had been right which infuriated
him.

They hadn’t spoken in years and had honestly never been close, he’d always preferred
hanging out with Cissy, but she managed to read him beautifully.

He saw Sirius everytime he looked in the mirror. Before recently, he’d avoided them as much
as he could, especially when he was home (he would always think Sirius had come home and
get excited and nervous at the same time).

Ted must be her husband. His parents had never called him by his name, only rude names. He
hadn’t known she had a kid either, that was exciting. He was a bit sad she didn’t name her
after stars, he’d always liked that tradition.

The love I feel for Ted outweighed what I feared and it got easier. Not easy, but easier.

Not easy, but easier.

Regulus’ hands were shaking. He wanted it to get easier. He could barely breathe, his love
was drowning him.

He couldn’t do it. He was frightened. Of his parents, of himself, of Sirius, of losing Sirius. Of
James and Lily.

These past few days without them had killed him. He couldn’t function. He couldn’t walk,
eat, feel.
 He loved them too much. When Sirius had left, Regulus had been able to shut himself down.
It was manageable because it had been expected. He’d been prepared for it.

Lily and James had knocked him off his feet and when he tried to stand up, they pushed him
down again.

He couldn’t breathe when he wasn’t with them and he couldn;t breathe when he was with
them.

It was a nicer asphyxiation with them there.

Merlin, that was terrifying.

The way you talk about them, your James and Lily, tells me that you’re in for a lot of
struggling. I hope, for your sake, you love them more than you fear your expectations.

His James and Lily. That didn’t sound right. There weren’t his, they’d never been and no
matter what they said, they wouldn’t be. Not to the extent that he was theirs.

If Lily and James asked him to shatter, he would. Anything for them.

But did he love them more than he feared his mother? Did his love outweigh his anxieties?
Did his love outweigh the instability Lily and James shoved on him?

It never had before. Not with Sirius and not with Andromeda.

Love was the hardest trial of my life.

Maybe…

Maybe it was different with them because he’d given up on them before they’d left. He’d
never known a life with them where they didn’t have one foot out of the door.

Lily and James had never come inside. They’d always been behind the threshold that Regulus
had never been brave enough to cross.

But they’d reached for him and pulled. They’d pulled and hadn’t let go, even now, as Regulus
shut them out, their iron grip stayed firm.

He gasped, the letter falling to the floor. Barty and Evan weren’t back yet, he had time.

He grabbed a potions textbook and made his way to the seventh floor.

Chapter End Notes

hints of barteven (evanty? Crosier? rouch?) because they're THE BEST.

I do hope my depiction of filipino culture was accurate but please don't hesitate to let me
know if I should fix something. I did lots of research but I am still a white person. I
promise I won't be offended whatsoever, I just want to do representation right.
Similarly, if anything I wrote in regards to the struggles Mary and Joston would go
through being black women is ignorant, I want to know so that I can fix it. Again, I did
research, but still can make mistakes.

I will have this finished before fathers day (because i'm planning to let him and my mum
read my work as a gift) but I am a sloooowww writer now that school is back up and
running and I have lots of extra ciriculars to take care of (AND A GIRLFRIEND!!!!
SHES THE BEST)

ALSO! I have recently realised (because of just lovers (like we were supposed to be) by
zeppazariel which is an AMAZING fic go read it if you havent) that stars actually come
out in routines and they are not always visible which is a tad embarrasing because I am
planning to study astronomy and should probably know that. For the sake of my sanity,
pretend that isn't real
 The Confessional Consequences of Gift Giving
Chapter Summary

;)))))

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

JAMES

Padfoot had his head resting on James’ knee and was drooling. The skin around his snout was
drooping off the side of his leg. James would not move.

Sirius and Remus had come back late last night, (James had still been awake when they
returned, thinking of Regulus) so Sirius had decided to get some extra sleep in while they
waited for the perfect time to open presents.

Christmas had always been one of James’ favourite holidays. Usually, he had a supper with
Marlene and Peter’s families on the 23, then he, not his parents, would be invited over to the
McKinnon’s and they would cook up a lovely meal for him and their extended family on the
24th. Then, he would spend all of Christmas day, lounging about with his mum and dad,
eating sweets and appreciating each other’s company. Sometimes they hosted a banquet on
the 26th.

Once he came to Hogwarts and realised that not everyone was fortunate enough to have
Christmas’ as wonderful as his, he just about had a breakdown. He wrote to his parents in a
righteous fury, insisting that they bring Remus and Sirius home this Christmas.

They’d agreed and that year they’d been lucky. Sirius’ parents hadn’t cared enough about
their son to bring him home and Remus’ mum had just wanted him to be happy. He spent the
winter holidays surrounded by the people who mattered most to him. Peter had even been
allowed to sleep over at his for the holidays because James had said it wouldn’t be fair if he
were excluded.

Whenever he’d had Christmas at Hogwarts, it had still been a joyful experience.

The only bad Christmases he’d had were the ones where Sirius had been forced to return
home and James had been forced to worry for days about him.

He sighed, running his fingers through the fur by Padfoots ear. They were very lucky house-
elves weren’t inquisitive, James wasn’t sure how they’d explain the mountains of dog hair in
the corners of their room to anyone who asked.
Sirius hadn’t meant to turn into Padfoot today. He’d just fallen asleep and it had happened.
Then the dog had plodded towards James and flopped his large body down next to him,
resting his drooling snout on his thigh and James decided he wouldn't move.

In all their reading about Animagi, it had been said that you had complete control over your
body after transforming but that wasn’t quite true.

James always felt more impulsive when he transformed, more in touch with his subconscious
thoughts and desires. Sirius was the same way. Sirius would not be leaning on James right
now, he would be glaring at him very harshly but Padfoot liked cuddles from James.

He’d also found out that extended time in your Animagus form gave you characteristics more
similar to that animal. James was seriously considering becoming vegetarian.

The door to their dorm creaked open and Remus poked his head in, a soft smile on his face
when he saw Padfoot.

He slipped through the crack in the door and Peter followed him, waving shyly at James as he
entered.

“Want me to get him off you?” Remus asked, sitting down across from James and next to
Sirius. Peter sat down across from Sirius and next to James, forming a small circle. They put
the gifts in the centre of their circle.

James shook his head, “I don’t mind,”

Remus raised his eyebrow, clearly judging James.

Moony hadn’t been nearly as angry with James as Sirius had been. Sure they hadn’t spoken
for a day or two, but the marauders weren’t meant to be angry with each other and they’d
gone back to how they were after a few lengthy discussions.

Sirius hadn’t spoken to James since he and Lily had told them about Regulus.

It had only been three days and James was already tearing his hair out.

He didn’t know how to function without Sirius. He had no idea how he’d done it for the first
eleven years of his life.

It was life breathing without oxygen. Everytime tried, he fell short. Something was missing,
replaced by an artificial copy.

They weren’t meant to fight, they were meant to be Padfoot and Prongs. James and Sirius.
Brothers.

Padfoot growled in his sleep, his paw starting to twitch like he was running. He must have
picked up on James’ bad mood.

“Alright I’m waking him up, I don’t want to wait any longer for gifts,” Peter said, reaching
across James to shake Padfoot’s torso.
The dog peeked his eyes open languidly, then shot up, growling at James as he moved.

James blinked and Sirius reappeared, a scowl across his face. He snapped his head to Peter
and Remus, most likely to yell at them for letting him rest on James, but noticed the gifts
piled.

“No,” He said harshly, making James wince, “I don’t want him ruining Christmas,”

“Sirius-” Peter said but James cut him off. He’d made the mistake, he’d pay for it.

“It’s fine,” James beganto stand up, “I’ll just sit in the common room until you guys are
done,”

Sirius glared harder, which James did not understand. He was doing what had been asked of
him, Sirius should be pleased.

“Sit back down James,” Remus ordered, “We’re marauders and this is tradition,”

“It’s fine-”

“I’m putting my foot down James,” Remus declared, “You don’t have to talk to each other
but you have to coexist because you are stressing out Peter,”

Sirius and James both glanced sheepishly at Peter who was tying a piece of string into knots,
his eyes wide, “I’m alright,” He lied, “Really whatever works for everyone else is fine for
me,”

Sirius rolled his eyes, scooching a bit further away from James and closer to Remus,
“Whatever, but he doesn’t get my present,”

"Fine by me," Remus said, "I'll start,"

Predictably, Remus ended up giving them all clay bowls that James assumed had been made
by his mum. Their initials were carved into the side alongside their nicknames.

Peter decided to go more of the comedic route, He’d gotten Sirius and Remus dog treats and
James a packet of dried fruits and berries. None of them were sure that Moony would actually
eat dog treats but all agreed it was worth a shot.

Sirius got Remus a couple books, some muggle ones and some wizard ones, each was
annotated by Sirius. Remus absolutely beamed when he saw it. Sirius was so unwilling to
read, doing it for Moony was very sweet. Sirius had gotten Peter a book about chess openings
that apparently read the information to you. It was a new bit of magic that was perfect for
Pete, who struggled to sit down and read.

Then it was James’ turn.

He grabbed his carefully wrapped gifts from under his bed, pointedly ignoring the one
addressed to Regulus.
Peter opened his first, tearing away the wrapping to reveal five tickets to the Quidditch world
cup, three of which granted the owners access to a meeting with the winning team.

Peter’s face lit up and his head snapped to meet James’ eyes, “For me?” He exclaimed, barely
able to talk.

“Of course!” James replied with a laugh, he pointed out the three unique tickets, “Mum
bought these three for you, Sirius and I. Then if you keep looking, you’ll find something just
for you,”

Peter made a small excited noise as he tore open the second gift James had gotten him.

“I would have asked mum and dad if we could bring you Moony, but I didn’t think you’d
enjoy it,” James explained as Peter looked.

“You were right, I’d much rather stay home,”

An excited squeak came from Peter as he clutched the quaffle James had gotten him.

“What is it?” Sirius asked, his anger not enough to quell his curiosity, “Just a quaffle?”

Peter shook her head, shoving the ball towards Sirius, “It’s signed! By Mervyn Plout! The
greatest keeper of all time! How did you get this James?!”

James grinned, “One of mum's reporter friends interviewed him and I asked her to ask her
friend to ask him to sign it!”

“Blimey, that's amazing!” He gazed at the quaffle with stars in his eyes as Remus accepted
the gift James had wrapped for him.

“After that, I’m expecting a lot James,”

James grinned pushing forward the bag he’d packed for Moony.

Remus pulled out the two gifts James had wrapped for him. The first was an advent, the
second was a pamphlet.

“What’s this?” Remus asked, reading the paper, “‘A Wizard in a Muggle World: Nate Lee’s
Tribute to Bowie’”

“Its a singer who does covers, I couldn’t get you actual tickets,” James apologised, “But my
parents went to see him and thought he was amazing,”

“And the advent?”

“Its for the moons,” James explained, “The boxes at the top are for the date and it tracks the
next full moon. As you get closer, the chocolates inside get bigger and tastier. The best part
is, it never runs out,”

Remus smiled at James, his mouth downturned but his eyes happy, “Thank you Prongs,”
James beamed at the compliment. It was very high praise for Remus.

His last bag was for Sirius, who had forgotten to be upset with james in the excitement of the
gift giving and was staring greedily and excitedly at the bag left in the centre of the circle.

“Go ahead Sirius,” James said, gesturing to the bag.

Sirius grabbed it quickly, tearing away the tissue and the wrapping paper.

Sirius’ gift was a mirror fragment.

“I have a matching copy,” James explained, “It's like a muggle telephone but we can see each
other at the same time. My dad found it in the attic this summer,”

Sirius stared at the glass, watching it catch the light that was streaming through the window.
He seemed in awe and looked back up at James with nothing but gratitude for a moment.

Then he swallowed, remembering his anger and glared at James, “Why’d I only get one when
they both got two?” He whined.

“Technically, Peter’s quidditch tickets were yours as well,” Remus reasoned.

Sirius glared at his boyfriend who was shamelessly poking holes in his complaints, his lip
jutting out in a pout.

James swallowed harshly, staring at Sirius, willing him to look back at him.

Of course, because they had a mind connection where Sirius knew everything James was
thinking and he did not want to look at him, his gaze stayed stubbornly on the floor.

Remus sighed, clapping his hands together and nodding to Peter. He stood up suddenly,
“Peter and I are going for a walk,” He informed them, “When we get back, you two will have
made up,”

Sirius shot up, “Are you locking us in?” He darted after their friends who were already half
out the door.

“No,” Peter said, “We’re trusting you,”

Sirius and James both looked away from their friends. James hated how they’d play on Sirius
and his need to please like that.

The door closed with a soft click, a gentle wave of air tickling James.

Sirius sighed, and though James didn’t look at him, he could hear him moving around the
dorm, puttering about.

James hadn’t moved since the door had been closed. He sat criss-cross rolling his words
around in his mind.
Logically, he knew he hadn’t done anything wrong. Not exactly.

Sirius had asked James to get closer to Regulus, to make sure that he was alright. This was
closer, And Sirius knew James, he knew how easy it was for him to love. He must have
known this was a possibility, even with Lily in the picture.

But the part of James who seized up at the thought of disappointing people, the part of him
that was sent into a panic when Sirius or Remus went to someone else for advice or a
shoulder to cry on instead of him, the part of him who based his worth on his ability to be of
service, needed these words to be perfect.

That part of him needed to make Sirius happy, make things right with him.

“Out with it then,” Sirius said grumpily and James head snapped towards him. He was sitting
on the edge of Remus’ bed, the map resting next to him and his wand in his lap. His hair was
artfully tousled, not messy like James’ always was and his eyebrow was raised in a
judgmental manner. In a way that reminded James just who had the upper ground here.

“Out with what?” James asked.

“With whatever emotional apology you’re planning on spouting,” Sirius sighed, leaning
forward, “We both know how this’ll end up. You’ll say some heartfelt piece about how much
our friendship means to you, I’ll forgive you because I always do, and we’ll go on as
normal,”

James frowned, “What about Regulus?”

“What about Regulus?” Sirius asked sharply.

James met his gaze, ignoring the little voice that had to be his conscience, “Where does he fit
into this?”

“He doesn’t” Sirius said simply, “He’s my little brother, which means he has a role in my life
that doesn’t involve you whatsoever,”

“You asked me to look after him,”

“Not to fall in love with him,”

James winced. He wasn’t built for this. His mum had always said he was a lover, not a
fighter, and she’d been right. Physical fights were fine, meaningless verbal spars with Snape
or Mulciber were fine. Fighting with Sirius was not.

“I didn’t mean to,” He defended himself, “But it’s not going away either, just look at Lily,”

“You look at Lily!” Sirius snapped, “You have her, the one you’ve wanted for years
remember? Get yourself a backup plan if you must but don’t you dare ruin my last chance of
a family in the process,”

James went quiet at that, for a number of reasons, only one of which he voiced to Sirius.
“You have a family,” He said softly, thinking of the stocking his mum had decorated for
Sirius, the plaque above his bedroom door.

“You know what I mean,”

James looked away from Sirius, letting his hair come down in front of his eyes. He needed to
have it cut soon.

He wouldn’t let go of any of them. Not Sirius, not Regulus, not Lily, Remus or Peter,
absolutely no one. He was aware it was selfish, he was aware it was cruel, he was aware the
chance of something good coming from it was slim.

But Regulus was worth it. Regulus with his small smiles and scarred hands. His kaleidoscope
eyes and soft hair. His neat notes and the way he’d absentmindedly tap his foot to music
whenever a song he liked came up.

And Lily was worth it as well. The way she came alive when Regulus had his eyes on her.
The gentle way she admitted him when she thought no one could see her. The delicate way
she touched him, like he was fine china.

So much good had already come out of them. The three of them, simply coexisting, had made
so much sense.

“How about I make a counter proposition?” James offered, “I make a heartfelt speech about
how much you mean to me and how sorry I am, but include the fact that I’m never going to
stop loving Regulus and that I’d drop the sky for him to take another breath. You forgive me
because you always do, and we carry on, not normally, but better,”

Sirius glared, “Counter-counter proposition, You do what you said you’d do, I punch you
again, Remus and Peter are disappointed, and you never talk to Reg again,”

“I’m not letting him go Sirius,” James said softly, a sick feeling in his stomach. He couldn’t
lose Sirius, he had to hold on, even when Sirius was hitting him, he wouldn’t let him walk
away again.

Sirius’ expression mixed anger, pity, resentment, and admiration, “Why not?” He whined,
like a child sent to bed without dessert.

“Because he’s not yours to hold onto,”

Sirius didn’t answer with words. He simply straightened his back and hardened his jaw and
James knew he’d read the situation correctly.

“I know you want to keep him safe,” James said, pushing himself up from where he was
sitting and walking slowly over to Sirius, “I know you feel responsible for him,”

James’ voice was steady, thank Merlin for that, he didn’t feel steady. He felt like Sirius could
breathe on him and he’d topple over like a house of cards.
“But you’re not his keeper nor are you mine. You don’t get to monitor who I fall in love with.
I know you just got him back, I know everything is still shaky between you two, I know
you’re seconds away from ripping his head off everytime you speak to each other. I know,”

“But I also know I love him. And despite everything telling me otherwise, I’m pretty sure he
could love me as well,”

James was sitting next to Sirius now, their thighs pressed together. James had his hand on
Sirius’ knee, open palmed waiting to be held.

“What about Lily?” SIrius asked, “You expect me to believe after loving her for years, she’s
just not enough?”

“She is enough,” James said. He would never think anything different, Lily was his constant,
“But Regulus is more, for me and her,”

Sirius didn’t look at James.

For all of James’ bravado, he didn’t know what he would do if Sirius didn’t forgive him. If
Sirius decided he didn’t want to be around James or even Regulus. James didn’t think
Regulus would forgive him if he was the reason Sirius left again.

When Sirius came to James’ house this summer, as broken as he was, babbling about music,
James wanted to kill his entire family, even those that had nothing to do with what had
happened.

He’d wanted to destroy their lineage, from Orion to Andromeda.

His mother had calmed him down, made him stay by Sirius’ side instead.

He’d been prepared to harbour that anger forever. When Andromeda had visited after hearing
the news, he’d barely been able to look at her, even though he knew it wasn’t her fault, she
had to leave.

He’d expected to feel similarly about Regulus, but even before he’d fallen in love, it hadn’t
been possible.

Not when Regulus drew Sirius’ gaze everytime he stepped into the room. And certainly not
when he started to intoxicate James.

Regulus was so small, not in stature necessarily, but in his details.

He was too perfect of an heir to slouch or cave in on himself. To perfect to not walk with an
air of confidence and certainly.

But he was small.

In such a slight way, that James would have missed it if he wasn’t so obsessed.
He always crossed his arms and let his hair grow out so it would fall in front of his eyes. His
handwriting was so tiny that he could write a book with only two pieces of parchment. He sat
in corners, always trying to fade into the background instead of shining like he was meant to.

He was so small and neither James nor Sirius could ignore how much it made them want to
protect him.

Then Mary had gone on about how Regulus was “forbidden fruit” and he’d started to want
Regulus. That had been where it had started even though James didn’t realise it until much
later. Regulus had snogged him for Merlin’s sake and he still hadn’t realised.

But no matter how much he loved Regulus, no matter how ingrained the desire to keep him
safe was in James, he couldn’t lose Sirius.

He didn’t know what he’d do if Sirius asked him to choose. Probably start begging.

Sirius looked at him, “Please don’t take him,” He whispered, “And don’t let him take you,”

“Oh Sirius,” James murmured, pulling into a tight hug. Sirius melted into it, “Never, I’ll
never do that to you,”

He wasn’t sure Sirius believed him, wasn't sure he ever would, but James would make sure to
keep hammering it into his brain.

They fell back onto Remus’ bed which smelled strongly of chocolate and some sort of
cologne or body wash.

Ever since they were young, they’d crawled into each other’s beds late at night, after
everyone else had fallen asleep and talked. Not about anything in particular, just whatever
was on their minds. It had been how James had figured out that Remus was a werewolf, it
had been the place James had had the idea to give Sirius half of his family's mirror.

Curled under blankets together, their legs tangled, their voices soft. It was where James felt
most at ease.

He did feel bad about rarely including Remus or Peter in their discussions but couldn't bring
himself to disrupt this. It was too special to him.

It was what they did now, to heal. James told him everything he could about Regulus, so did
Sirius. And they talked about home as well, James asked Sirius not to tell him any about what
Regulus had suffered, he wanted to hear that from Regulus, but Sirius told him about himself.

In return, James made promises. Of holidays they’d redo together and moments they’d colour
over.

Remus and Peter came back after a few hours, clearly surprised James and Sirius had mended
things and remained intact, and the four of them put on one of Remus’ records.

They were in the middle of Elvis Pressley’s rendition of Blue Christmas when the door to
their dorm burst open.
Lily stood in the doorframe, wearing an adorable nightgown that came just above her knee
and bunny slippers. Her hair was messy and not brushed. She was clutching a slip of paper in
one hand and a paper bag in the other.

Her frazzled eyes scanned the room, landing triumphantly on James.

“Potter!” She exclaimed, marching towards him and shoving the parchment she was holding
towards him.

“Lily?” He grabbed the paper she’d shoved against his chest. It was a simple letter with no
seal. The front had Lily’s name written on it, James wondered why he hadn’t gotten a copy.
Lily had already opened it, based on the crinkles in the paper.

He unfolded the parchment carefully and began to scan the words. The handwriting was neat,
small and very clearly trained. It read:

The come and go room, as soon as you can, bring James.

R.A.B

James inhaled sharply, he didn’t recognize the initials but knew the handwriting, “R.A.B?”

Srius sat up quickly, snatching the letter away from James who let out an indignant squawk.
He read the letter quickly then looked back up at Lily.

She was looking at him, her eyes wide as if she’d only just noticed he was there.

Sirius swallowed harshly, glancing around the room, from Peter to Remus, landing on James,
“Are you going?” He asked.

Lily nodded gently.

“Good,” He said simply.

Lily’s face broke into a grin and she leaped forward, throwing herself into Sirius’ arms. He
responded immediately, just as he'd done with James. He buried his face into her hair and
wrapped his arms around her waist, lifting her off the floor a bit.

James knelt under his bed and fished around for Regulus’ gift, wrapped carefully in green
and silver. He found it quickly and pulled on some shoes, glancing quickly in the mirror to
try and smooth down his hair.

Regulus wrote so simply but said so little. James wondered if Regulus had been in the Come
and Go room all day, waiting for them. It wasn’t likely, seeing as he’d given off the
impression that he wanted nothing to do with James or Lily after the party. Still, James could
dream.

“Let’s go!” He exclaimed, pulling Lily away from Sirius, nervous and excited energy
coursing through him.
“We’re missing something aren’t we Remus?” Peter mused.

“We are, however, I’m far too preoccupied with these sweets-” He’d already started on his
advent, “-to care about it,”

“Bye!” James called out, slamming the door behind him and Lily.

LILY

Christmas eve was always Lily’s favourite holiday. Her parents would take Petunia and her
down to a light show and afterward they’d go out to dinner at a fancy restaurant. Lily would
be allowed to order as much as she wanted without even checking the price.

Christmas morning had always seemed pale in comparison.

Lily always handmade her gifts but her family was rarely there to receive them. Lily’s
maternal grandparents only sent an envelope with a couple pounds in it and she wasn’t in
contact with any aunts and uncles. Her paternal grandparents were dead.

Her parents were always tired from the night before, having had too much to drink and now
stressed about making ends meet until her dad got his pay check so they never really
celebrated.

It had always just been her and Petunia and Petunia had never wanted to spend much time
with her, not after she got her letter.

Christmas morning at Hogwarts was usually better. Usually she, Mary, Marlene, and Dorcas
would get together, give gifts, then gorge themselves on chocolate and sweets. With Dorcas
and Marlene being gone this year, that was harder.

Then she’d heard a light tapping on her window and gotten Regulus’ letter.

Suddenly, Christmas was her favourite holiday and Regulus’ gift to her undid all the horrible,
emotionless ones she’d gotten before.

The joy had only increased with Sirius’ sudden acceptance and the feeling of James pulling
her along, laughing boyishly, like he did when he pulled off a particularly spectacular prank

They screeched to a halt in front of the come and go room, or rather where the come and go
room was supposed to be. There wasn’t a door yet, but Regulus had explained how to conjure
it to Lily.

“I’m nervous,” James said gently, almost in awe as if he’d never had to consult his own
anxiety before.

Lily squeezed his hand, “Me too,”

They didn’t walk in just yet, they didn’t conjure the entrance. James took a breath, Lily took
one with him.
The door appeared with little thought or effort. It wasn’t the same one as the studio, it was
made of dark wood and had an ornate handle.

Lily opened it with a flick of her wrist. Ever since getting magic, she’d become obsessed with
using it for menial tasks. Flipping a page in a book, closing a window or door, stirring her tea.
She liked the thrum of power that rushed through her with it. Addiction did run in her family.

The inside housed a grande piano and a violin in one corner. Across from that was a sofa and
fireplace that wasn’t lit and an easel with a white sheet draped over it.

And then there was him.

Regulus Arcturus Black sitting in front of the piano, sheet music in front of him.

His hands were bandaged and his hair was messy. He was resting his elbows on the piano and
Lily could hear the leftover sound emitted from it.

“Regulus?” Lily asked, “Is that you?”

He turned to them. His eyes had bags under them and were puffy. He was wearing a wrinkled
white dress shirt and a tie that hung untied around his neck.

“Yeah that's me,” Regulus said, his voice dead, “And you’re Lily,”

Lily smiled softly, “Always will be,”

Regulus’ gaze shifted towards James. He hadn’t spoken since entering, he was just looking at
Regulus, with a gaze Lily knew better than herself.

Admiration, want, concern, love all danced in James’ pupils. The hand that wasn’t holding
Lily’s twitched where it was resting at his side like he wanted to reach out towards Regulus
but couldn’t because he was holding a gift.

Lily knew the urge, but wouldn’t succumb to it, not again.

“Regulus-”

“Andromeda wrote to me,” Regulus said. He turned back to the piano resting his fingers on
the keys without pressing down, “I’d asked her for advice about it all, not expecting a
response and she wrote back,” He sounded bitter about it.

Lily took a step forward, dropping James’ hand, “What did she say?”

“Why do you care?”

Lily took another step forward, “Why did you want to see us?”

Regulus didn’t answer. His fingers danced soundlessly across the piano. Lily didn’t know
what notes he wasn’t hitting, wasn’t sure what song he didn’t want to make, but every touch
seemed rhythmic.
“You wanted to see a star James,” Regulus said suddenly, his hands halting their movement,
like he’d been paused in time, “That night, you asked about a star, which one was it?”

Lily turned back to James. His expression hadn’t changed, still so raw and hopeful.

“I don’t know the name,” James croaked out, “That's what I wanted to ask you,”

Regulus hummed, his hands moving again. Everyone in a while, he’d press down on a key
letting out just the one note, “Why were you asking? Don’t lie,”

“Why do you want to know?” Lily asked.

Regulus shrugged, “Just curious,”

James took a breath and stepped towards Regulus, he came just behind him. If he reached his
hand out for a moment, he’d be able to brush his fingers along Regulus’ spine, “It’s our star,
Lily and I’s, I wanted to know the name,”

Regulus hummed again, reaching out to the sheet music on the piano and flipping through it.
He stopped at one with the title cut-off. His eyes traced the notes and a few times before his
hands took their starting place and he began to play.

It was a short piece, barely a minute, but in that time, Lily felt otherworldly.

He had such a marvellous gift. Such a beautiful musicality and talent that Lily felt wash over
her. It felt like she was at the opera with her mother’s hand in hers again.

She didn’t even know the name of this song. She didn’t know the notes or the artist, all she
knew was Regulus, and how Regulus tore her apart with his words and put her back together
again with his music.

She’d come here hopeful. Stupidly hopeful that maybe he could love them.

She didn’t know if they’d leave as happy as she’d hoped but she’d leave better than she came
in because she was hearing him play.

The last note rang out in the room and Regulus lifted his hands off the piano, sighing softly,
“Your star?”

Lily barely registered James nodding, her vision was blurring from Regulus.

“Our star,” James said, “I wanted you to know about it because-” He paused glancing at Lily
but she couldn’t look at him, she could barely move but managed to squeeze his hand gently.

“Because I wanted it to be all of ours,” James said softly, sitting down on the bench next to
Regulus, bringing Lily with him. She managed to sit next to Regulus without falling over.

Regulus laughed humourlessly, tilting his head back to the ceiling. Lily followed his gaze.
The ceiling was similar to the great hall’s ceiling or Regulus’ canopy, with the night sky
displayed. Regulus’ eyes seemed to reflect the constellations, she wondered if he was looking
at his own.

“You two are hopeless,” Regulus murmured, closing his eyes, “You have something so
wonderful between you and you want to destroy it. You have a star. And you want to add
water to it,”

Lily frowned, “Water can’t put out stars,”

Regulus opened his eyes, shifting his eyes in her direction without moving his head, “It's a
metaphor,”

“Its stupid!” James exclaimed.

James!” Lily gasped, snapping her head towards him

“We’re not stars Regulus,” James stood up, dragging his hand through his hair, “And you’re
not water. You’re a person, we’re people!”

He began to pace back and forth, “I know you’re probably messed up from that house, I
know you’ve probably got scars you don’t think should be loved. But I love them,” He
stopped pacing and stepped towards Lily and Regulus, kneeling down in front of them, “I
love them,”

He took Regulus’ hands in his and began to undo the bandages that had been so carefully
wrapped on his fingers, “I want to see you, Lily wants to see you, and we want you to let us,”
He moved so carefully, like Regulus really was water. Water that couldn’t be disrupted.

“I want to ruin us,” James said softly, “I want to ruin Lily and I and I want to rebuild us,”

His right hand was fully bare now and Lily could see his scars. Small white lines and dots
just around the tips of his fingers, almost nothing more than callouses.

Lily took Regulus’ left hand, “It’s frightening to be seen. Its frightening to be loved so
fiercely, but you’ve been doing it for weeks now Regulus,” She laced their fingers. Regulus’
hand was shaking and he was looking at her, so open yet unreadable.

“I don’t know when it started but it’s so wonderful,” She brought her other hand up towards
Regulus’ neck, resting it so her fingers could tangle in the curls at the back of his head,
“Don’t take yourself away from us, we won’t just be destroyed if you do that, we’d be
demolished,”

James brought Regulus’ hand up to his mouth and pressed kisses to the tips of his fingers,
along the light scar that Regulus had gotten from a prank, along the tendons that protruded
from the back of his hand.

Lily traced his bandages, following the lines until they disappeared into folds of fabric. She
wanted to feel his skin on hers but would allow him to take his shields away as it pleased
him.
Regulus gasped softly, “I wanted to convince you this was wrong,” He confessed, his voice
strangled, “but-” He squeezed Lily’s hand tightly, “but ‘love is the hardest trial of life’ ”

Lily frowned, he sounded like he was quoting something, probably a book she hadn’t read
yet.

“I want it to be easier,” He gasped out, “I want-” He sounded strangled, until he stood up

suddenly, knocking James from where he was kneeling on the floor and wrenching his hand
from Lily’s grasp, “I want to give you your gifts,”

Lily felt cold at his sudden absence. Her mind and hand felt empty without him to fill it.

Regulus walked shakily over to the easel, “This is yours Lily and the sheet music on the
piano labelled ‘James’ is James’,”

James stood back up and walked around the bench to reach the piano. He sorted through the
pages for a moment before pausing on a few pages stapled together.

James looked through the music then back up at Regulus, breathless, “This is violin sheet
music,”

Regulus nodded, “I have a piano accompaniment, we can play together,”

James shot up immediately towards the violin in the corner. He set the music down in front of
him on a stand and began to play.

It was messy and broken but Lily could make out a melody. The hint of something beautiful.

James stopped, looking at Regulus again, “Thank you,” He whispered, barely audible.

Regulus nodded, then reached to the corner of the easel, about to pull off the sheet.

“I wasn’t going to show you but-“ He paused, not looking at Lily, “I felt like you deserved
it,”

He pulled the sheet away.

Lily stopped.

Stopped moving, breathing, thinking, even simply existing was impossible.

She’d guessed what the gift would be but it was different seeing it.

Seeing herself, kneeling in front of another version of herself.

Lily, or Medusa she supposed, was so clearly broken. Her once beautiful clothes were torn.
She had bruises on her arms, face and thighs. Her hair was falling out in clumps around her
and snakes were beginning to protrude from her skull.
Her face was horrible. Bruises littered it and it was contorted in pain. Whatever was being
done to her, or had been done to her, had killed her.

There was a dark shadow behind her, with a hand wrapped around her neck and another
around her wrist. The shadow was in the shape of a man with broad shoulders and thick arms
but had no features.

His hands matched so perfectly to the bruises on Medusa’s body.

The third person was Athena. She was kneeling on one knee in front of Medusa and was
cupping her cheek. The gesture could have been kind, if it weren’t for her expression.

Anger was so visceral, so raw and unforgiving and Athena’s was unmatched. The passive
flatness of her mouth contrasted with the burning fury in her eyes. Her hand cupping
Medusa’s face was covering a bruise.

She looked so perfect compared to Medusa. Her clothes were pristine and flowing, her skin
was markless, she was above Medusa.

The most fascinating part of the picture was finding herself in it. Not relating to it, but
noticing features that were so obviously her own.

Medusa’s stomach and thighs had freckles on them, the same as Lily. Athena’s hands were a
matching set to Lily’s.

Medusa’s eyes were green, her skin was pale, her cheeks were round. Athena had Lily’s nose
and lips.

“It’s amazing Regulus,” Lily heard James say but she could barely hear him over the rushing
in her ears.

It was amazing but it was also more.

It was words that hadn’t been invented yet, it was indescribable, it was talent liquified and
poured straight from Regulus’ hands onto the canvas.

She wanted to speak, to tell him how much this was but she couldn’t get any noise out. She
simply let her mouth fall open, gaping like a fish.

She’d seen his work before, hung up on walls even though he said he didn’t like to show
people what he did and he’d taken them down the next time she came by but this was
something else.

It was their journey. Hers and Regulus’. As strokes of paint appeared, so had her fondness for
him. As people and faces appeared, so had her love.

She reached her hand out to trace over the lines. The paint felt thick against the tip of her
fingers. It was cool to the touch. Lily wanted to absorb the painting into her. She wanted to
become it, trapped in Regulus’ genius until she stopped moving.
“Will you enchant it?” Lily choked out.

“No,” Regulus said from behind her, “It your gift, you can if you’d like,”

She shook her head, she loved it. Just as it was.

REGULUS

Regulus’ hands shook despite his best efforts to keep them still.

He’d set up this room last night in a frenzy and written a note to Lily in the same manner.
Then come back up to his dorm, half panicked, fully insane, regretting his decision.

He’d managed to have a nice Christmas morning with his friends before Barty convinced him
to send the letter to Lily and he sprinted down to the Come and Go room.

He didn’t write to James to avoid Sirius intercepting the note. His plan had been to break
things off with them even though, as he had to keep reminding himself, there hadn’t been a
thing in the first place.

Well, originally, his plan had been to tell them how he felt. Then he decided to end things,
and now, when they were there right in front of him, he was reminded how wonderful they
were.

How much he wanted this to be easier.

He hated the burden he’d assigned himself. Ever since Sirius had left, Regulus had decided to
be alone. Even Barty, Pandora and Evan were kept at an arm's length for fear of them leaving.

But it was hard and Regulus was tired and James and Lily were right there. Right there and
trying so hard to hold on tight to him.

And he was inherently a horribly selfish bastard who would always put his own desires over
others.

“We have gifts for you as well,” Lily said softly, tearing her eyes away from the painting.
Regulus really was quite proud of it. He loved how much Lily there was embedded in it.

He hadn’t been expecting gifts, he’d thought after the night of the party, they’d forget all
about him.

James led Regulus to the sofa and grabbed a messily wrapped gift, handing it to Regulus, his
eyes wide and hopeful.

Regulus felt the gift, running his fingers along the edges and turning it around in his half
bandaged hands. It was a bit heavy and rectangular, Regulus thought it might be a book.

He slipped his fingers under the folds of the paper, carefully unwrapping the gift.

It was a book. A textbook to be exact. A potions textbook to be even more exact.

Regulus turned it over in his hands. If Evan or Barty were here, they’d laugh.

“It’s a textbook,” James said, “The same one we always use and if you open it-”

Regulus flipped it open to a random page, noticing annotations next to certain instructions.

“-I wrote in it. Just little jokes or comments,” James grinned at Regulus, pointing at the
marks.

Regulus read a few of them. They were exactly what James had said they were. Little quips
and inside jokes. Compliments sometimes, snark other times and always so James.

Regulus ran his fingers over his writing, some of it was smudged and Regulus loved it. He
loved James.

“And here’s mine, I wasn’t really able to wrap it,” Lily offered him a paper bag with tissue
paper coming out of it.

Regulus set James’ book down carefully next to him on the sofa and accepted Lily’s bag with
a soft thank you.

He pulled out the tissue paper, setting it aside carefully and looked into the bag.

There were two coats, both familiar and matching.

Regulus pulled one of them out of the bag. It was the coat he’d given to Lily when they’d
spent the night together at the astronomy tower. He hadn’t even realised she hadn’t given it
back.

The second coat was a duplicate of the first but had small designs embroidered on the collar.

“I realised the other day I hadn’t given it back to you,” Lily said, “So I doubled the original
and sewed little designs into the copy. I enchanted them too. They all move,”

Around the collar were small green snakes with pink tongues that flicked out. They slithered
off the collar into nothing. She’d done a snitch as well, that darted around the fabric. Regulus
even spotted it down by his sleeve. There was a paintbrush dripping onto a canvas, a quill
writing, a potion pouring into a cauldron and thousands of little stars that twinkled.

“Why didn’t you just embroider the original?” Regulus asked.

“I didn’t want to ruin your coat,”

Regulus shook his head softly, putting the embroidered copy back into the bag and placing
James’ textbook on top of it carefully. He held out the original coat towards Lily, “Take it,”

She brightened, “Really?”

He nodded, “I won’t need it now,”

“Brilliant,” She accepted the coat, draping it over the arm of the sofa, “It was a really nice
coat,”

Regulus looked away from them.

He was so tired.

He was so fucking exhausted it was eating him alive.

He wanted them, in a way that he hadn’t known was possible. In a way that he wasn’t sure
was possible before them.

It was just so difficult to believe.

After every horrible thing he’d suffered, after Sirius’ departure, his numerous scars, the well
of loneliness that had burrowed its way into his chest and stayed there so long he’d forgotten
what it felt like to love.

He’d been allowed to love them and he’d been allowed to have them love him back.

“Sunshine,” James said softly, sitting down next to him and touching his unbandaged hand.

It had taken so much willpower for Regulus to not grab him by the tie and kiss him stupid
when he’d taken them off.

“Will you let us love you?”

As a last ditch effort to prove to them that he wasn’t worth it, that what they had was enough,
he pointed to the ceiling, his last attempt at a selfless moment, “Show me your star,”

“Reg-”

“Please?” He asked softly, Lily had sat down next to him, on his left, and she shared a glance
with James. They nodded and James took his hand pointing to the sky.

“You know Sirius? And you know the Leo constellation?”

Regulus nodded, a bit offended they’d even ask.

“Well it's the one up and to the left of Sirius and in the bottom right of the Leo constellation,”
James led his hand to the star she was talking about and Regulus felt his heart slow.

“That one?” He confirmed, his thoughts racing.

“Yeah,” James said softly.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, he’d never stood a chance.

 Regulus’ will wasn’t strong enough to hold himself back any longer, they’d ransacked the
castle he’d built to protect himself and there his heart sat. Atop a silver throne, ready to be
stolen.

He kissed Lily first because James was still looking to the sky but Lily was staring right at
him and he couldn’t handle it anymore.

Whenever Regulus and Lily worked together, either painting or potions, he’d always felt so
unnerved. Like she could see every thought of his on her eyelids.

Kissing her took that away. Kissing her was so right, it might have been strange if he wasn’t
so overwhelmed.

Lily had gasped when he’d kissed her, her lips parting slightly but had melted so easily into
him. One of her hands was touching his wrist, the other was just brushing his jaw. Both were
so tentative, so different from when he’d kissed James.

He realised giddily that he didn’t have to feel guilty for thinking of James while kissing Lily
because she’d probably be doing the same thing.

He suddenly felt a hand on his waist that made him gasp and pull back from Lily, just a bit.

“Regulus,” James whispered, his breath tickling the back of Regulus’ neck, “May I?”

Regulus wasn’t entirely sure what he was asking, “Please,” He begged. In the end, it didn’t
matter what he was asking, it mattered that it was James.

James’ mouth pressed against the knots of his spine that came up to the back of his neck.
James’ hand placed so possessively around Regulus’ waist. James’ words being muttered
against his neck, praise and reassurance that melted Regulus down to his boots.

Lily’s mouth on his cheek, lips and jaw. Lily’s hand delicate on his wrist. Lily’s words uttered
against his ear, words that were meant for James as well.

“Regulus,” He murmured against her cheek.

“Hm?” She hummed, the sound reverberating on his skin.

“The stars name is Regulus,” He said with a laugh, turning his neck to kiss James, “I’m your
star,”

Chapter End Notes

OH MY GOD FINALLY I PUBLISHED THIS

I meant to get this out over the weekend but alas, I had a field hokcey tournament and
did not have the time. Also Stranger things season four came out (TALK TO ME
ABOUT IT I LOVE IT SO MUCH) and I simply had to watch it, you'll forgive me
yeah?

THEY KISSED!!! LOVE THEM!!!

I still have one more chapter left (which absolutely wild I have NEVER finished a
project like this before) and I'm finishing before father's day whenever the heck that is.

Hopefully this is somewhat good??? If theres anything I've missed please let me know,
I'm bad at continuity soooo.

Thank you so much for reading! For commenting! For kudosing! For anything! Its just
very lovely!
 The Many Consequences of Us
Chapter Summary

the rest of it

Chapter Notes

OKAY BASED ON THESE WARNINGS YOU WON"T BELIEVE ME BUT I

PROMISE THIS IS BASICALLY ALL FLUFF

very brief mentions of self harm, all in the past but still there. It's talked about in the
section labeled, "May 28th 1977" and I'll give a small summary in the chapter notes.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

REGULUS

January 17th 1977

The rest of the holidays were peaceful. Regulus would sneak out of his dorm to the Come
and Go room and be greeted by James and Lily’s beaming faces.

Everytime, without fail, he thought he’d turn up to an empty room, the magic and allure of
this forbidden romance would fade and they’d realise how wonderful they were without him,
and everytime, without fail, they were there.

They tried to keep it a secret in the beginning but James’ resolve broke quickly and he
insisted they tell at least Sirius. Regulus was perfectly happy leaving everyone else in the
dark and preserving their small bubble of privacy for a moment longer but James insisted.

Next was Remus and Peter because it was killing Sirius to keep it from them.

Pandora found out on her own, mentioning it offhandedly as she and Regulus worked on her
amortentia project together.

Lily told Mary next, then Marlene and Dorcas shortly after.

Joston accidentally walked in on Regulus and James snogging in the quidditch change room
together and they were forced to tell her.
Regulus wrote to Andromeda at the same time as James wrote to his parents, all three were
pleased at the development.

Barty and Evan were the last ”important” people to find out apart from Regulus and Lily’s
families and they were very upset by it. Regulus just ignored them.

He felt ridiculous, allowing himself to fall into this easy routine so quickly.

He found himself forgetting the world and living only inside Lily and James’ gazes.

He’d hold their hands under the table and press snarky notes into their hands while they
worked in the library together. He would wink after making a suggestive comment and watch
them flush, then allow them to do the same to him.

He felt a strange calm. The calm of the lake when you could see the squid slowly
approaching the surface, about to break the glass water.

He could feel his mother’s presence over his shoulder with every breath. He heard Evan and
Barry’s concerned whispers at night. He sensed the fear that would invade his skin as soon as
he stepped into the threshold of Grimmauld Place, the fear his mother would narrow her eyes
at and subsequently pull out a vial of veritaserum to force down Regulus’ throat.

But that was for the end of the school, it was for summer. Right now, Regulus was theirs.

Sometimes, he’d creep into Gryffindor tower and slip into James’ bed. He couldn’t visit Lily
because of her protected staircase but James always welcomed him. Sometimes, he got
particularly lucky and Lily was with James as well.

He held onto those nights, reminded himself of them when he felt he couldn’t move, when
the calm was chased away by the scabs on his hands and chest.

When students began to return to school, he put his mask back on. Regulus insisted on
keeping everything quiet for the rest of the year, partly to protect himself, partly because he
couldn’t handle the shame that would come with the split he still feared.

James and Lily still found ways to be with him without being overtly romantic.

James liked to walk Regulus to class and send paper cranes with little notes to him during
meals. Lily would duck into broom cupboards with him during prefect rounds and link their
pinkies under the table while in potions.

In return, Regulus kept sneaking into James’ dorm. He wrote letters, scheduling time together
in the come and go room or in the kitchens, where no one ever went. He’d sketch them in
class and give them books he’d finished.

He was still frightened, he wasn't sure he'd ever be secure with this, but they were enough to
temper it.
January 30th 1977

James insisted that he throw Lily a birthday party that would outshine the minister of magic.
He was awfully particular about these things, he believed that celebration was necessary for
love.

Regulus didn't share this opinion but it seemed to make them happy so he went along with it.
He helped as best he could. Luckily, James didn't think that grand meant great.

He snuck up to the girls dorm with a fancy bit of magic that impressed even Regulus and,
with Mary and Marlene's help, decorated her dorm exactly how she would have liked it. He
hung streamers from the bedframe and stuck balloons to the wall. He put up a large banner
with gryffindor colours and set up games she liked, muggle and wizard.

Regulus was pleased to notice that she'd kept his sketches and pinned them to her wall and
bed. Her painting was still in the come and go room. As wonderful as it was, it was quite
large.

James insisted they decorate by hand which took much longer because the tape kept failing
Regulus. In his defence, he didn't think he'd used it before.

Remus and Peter came up with food and presents and began to help set up. Remus was
useful, but Peter was just as clueless as Marlene, James and Regulus. Before Mary had
arrived they’d been stuck on how to blow up balloons.

Sirius and Dorcas were on Lily duty. They were to keep her away from her dorm until James
sent Mary to get them, which he had done about ten minutes ago.

"They're coming!" He whisper-yelled, ushering his friends into hiding spots, pulling Regulus
behind Mary's bed. He grinned at Regulus, his glasses crooked on his face. "You think she'll
like it?"

Regulus nodded, squeezing James' hand lightly.

His grin widened and he pressed a quick kiss to Regulus' cheek as the door clicked open.

February 14th 1977

Unfortunately, James had to return home the weekend before Valentine's day for a family
emergency. He stayed for a few days and didn't manage to get back in time to celebrate
together.

Regulus wasn't pleased, but neither he nor Lily were as upset as James. They promised him
they'd throw a faux celebration when he returned but he insisted they celebrate without him
as well.

Regulus allowed Lily to take the lead on planning. This relationship had forced him to realise
how shit he was at romance. He liked reading about it well enough, but the act of it made his
palms clammy and his neck itch.

It didn't matter much, Lily was wonderful.

She cleared the kitchens and taught Regulus how to make her mother's classic celebratory
dinner. It consisted of yorkshire pudding, mashed potatoes, lakes of gravy, and a turkey. They
tried to make biscuits as well but they forgot about them and the backs of them turned black.

Lily said they could give it to Sirius which made Regulus laugh. He was going out with
Remus to a muggle bar today, Regulus thought Dorcas and Marlene might be going as well
but he wasn't sure.

"Besides the biscuits, I'd say you learned quite a bit?" Lily asked, as she and Regulus washed
the dishes together, the water soaking the plaster around Regulus' fingertips.

He nodded, "Maybe we can show James when he comes back,"

Lily hummed, "Or we could save it for when we have our first Christmas living together?
That's what my mum always cooked it for anyway,"

Regulus decided he would blame the redness of his cheeks on the heat of the water, not on
the prospect of living with them.

March 27th 1977

March was always a busy month.

Remus' birthday was the 10th, James' was the 27th and April fools was just around the
corner. Regulus was also getting closer and closer to completing his animagus training.

It was perfect for Lily and Regulus to surprise James for a marvellous birthday celebration.
Regulus had to help from the shadows, so people wouldn't be suspicious of his attention to
James' birthday, but he made sure to include small tidbits that made it clear he was involved.

Lily squeezed his shoulder as he snuck out of the door to the common room. She promised to
bring James down to the Come and Go room tonight so they could spend time together with
just the three of them.

As always, she kept her promise. James arrived with his hair dyed a bright purple and his
hands red. Regulus was sure he'd find out why the next day, when he realised what
convoluted scheme the Marauders had cooked up, for now, he simply smiled at his lovers and
handed James his violin.

They didn't play together often, Regulus still feared the black and white keys, but when they
did it felt like flying.
May 28th 1977

Exams were finally over and Regulus was becoming an animagus in November. He'd written
to Cissy about it and she'd seemed proud. He hadn't told his parents, he didn't imagine they'd
be pleased with his mentor.

Tonight, he'd snuck into James' bed, partly because he'd had nightmares, partly because the
dungeons got stuffy when it was hot out.

James liked Regulus. Regulus had realised that much, he'd also realised he very much liked
certain parts of him. Regulus caught James staring at his hands or following his scars. He
seemed quite enamoured by them.

Regulus had never liked to be observed but tonight he'd allow it.

James had his hand tangled in Regulus' hair and was pulling him tight against his chest. He'd
decided to forgo a shirt because of the heat and Regulus could feel him press up against him.
He whispered something about the triangular scar on Regulus' chest and he found himself not
wanting to keep it hidden.

James loved his scars.

The memory of the day Sirius left still throbbed. He'd gotten in a row with their mother about
some inconsequential thing. It had sent Regulus into a panic. He'd tried to bite his nails to
calm himself down and had only managed it through choking breaths. His mother had found
him doubled over coughing, his fingers bloody.

She'd sent him down to the sitting room to play for their guests. Taking away his choice with
a wave of her wand. She'd told him to keep playing.

He listened, even when his hands hurt so bad he wanted to burn them off, even when his
brother was pulled into another room, even when Sirius' screams were louder than the piano.

When Narcissa had finally undone the curse, Regulus had dove for a fireplace poker, just
wanting the pain into hands to stop.

He didn't remember pressing it to his chest.

James didn’t ask anymore questions but he pulled Regulus tighter against his chest and they
fell asleep next to each other, James' hand in his hair.

June 30th 1977

"You'll at least try to write?" Lily asked, fussing with Regulus' coat. He was wearing the one
she'd given to him and the stitched snitch was dancing around his wrist.

"I'll try," He promised, shouldering his bag.

"But don't if its dangerous," James reminded him, "Mum said we'll be keeping the floo open
all summer so if you need anything, just use that,"

Regulus raised an eyebrow, "Anything? Even to borrow a book?"

James nodded solemnly, "No request too big and none too small,"

Regulus smiled softly. As always, he'd be returning to his parents for the holidays but James
and Lily were insisting on staying by his side up until the last possible minute. He was
getting picked up by Cissy and staying with her for a week, so they'd be able to talk to him
then, but after that, they'd be basically without contact.

"Try to get out to a phone booth to call me?" Lily asked, still fixing his collar and buttons
nervously.

"I don't know how to work a phone,"

"God you wizards are useless,"

"Oi!" Sirius interjected, his head snapping towards them and away from Remus, "Why use a
phone when you have owls? I'd say they're the useless ones,"

Lily rolled her eyes, finally taking her hands away from Regulus. he already found himself
missing the warmth that permeated off of her.

Sirius threw an arm over Regulus' shoulder, "Maybe Andy'll help you,"

"I can't write to her either,"

"Really?" He frowned, "I always did,"

"Which is a sure sign I shouldn't,"

"Putain," He muttered, making the corner of Regulus' mouth quirk up. Sirius had been
speaking French with Regulus more, especially since he'd discovered how attractive Remus
found it.

James took one of Regulus' hands, his face becoming serious, "Really sunshine, anything
happens you come straight to me,"

Regulus swallowed, he hadn't been the perfect heir this year. Though his parents had rarely
written, he was sure they'd been keeping up with him, either through Slughorn, or students
whose parents were desperate for an in with the noble house of Black, "I'll be fine," He lied.

"Once you're seventeen, we'll be more than fine," Lily said softly, pulling him close to her, in
a tight hug, "We'll be wonderful,"

Regulus smiled. Two years.

 Even though next year would be his last with them at school, even though he'd have to
survive a year combating marriage arrangement after marriage arrangement, even though he
had a sick feeling in his stomach and phantom pains in his hands, he smiled.

Chapter End Notes

Brief summary of "May 28th 1977"

Regulus sneaks into James' bedroom and James asks him about the scar on his chest.
Regulus tells him he got it the day Sirius left. Sirius and Walburga got into an argument,
stressing Regulus out. He bit his nails until they bled also, because of the curse I've
mentioned prior, he's choking as he does this. Walburga uses imperio to force him to
stop and go play for everyone. She doesn't let him stop even when he's bleeding and
when Sirius tries to help she takes him away.
Narcissa undo's imperio and Regulus burns his chest with a fireplace poker.
James is slay and they fall asleep.

AHKJGGUSFHIO I JUST WROTE A WHOLE BOOK KINDA

I don't think i've finished a project like this, I've certainly never written something of
this size, so I am so so proud. I'm sure I'll read over it later and die of how bleh it is but
for now yay!!!!

Thank you thank you thank you so much for reading. For anyone that has left or will
leave kudos, comments, or bookmarks, it meant so so much to me. I'm sorry I'm being
so soppy and sentimental this is just very cool, I never thought anyone would ever want
to read my writing, so a thousand thank yous!!

Now for some shameless self promotion ;)))

I've got lots of other fics and a good amount to come. Cosmonaut is what I'm focusing
on at the moment (which is a Regulus in Gryffindor au) but I've also got a sirius and
James (BROTHERLY RELATIONSHIP) fic and some other small ones.
I have tons of plans for other ships like Dorlene, Pandalily, Rosekiller, Wolfstar,
anything else that pops into my mind.
I may write a sequel to this if inspiration strike but I won't force anything!

If you're at all interested in me, my username is the same everywhere (tiktok,

instargram, twitter ect). I'm most active in regards to fanfic on tiktok. I do also have
playlists on spotify for marauders that helped me write this fic so if you're at all
interested in that, there you go!

Again, just thank you. I know I wasn't the most consistent and the plot could be messy at
times, but I hope this was a pretty okay fic!

Thank you!!!
Please drop by the Archive and comment to let the creator know if you enjoyed their work!