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Sophia Zhang
Mr. Curley
English Composition
2 November 2024
PROFILE ESSAY
‘Do not date so early! You will be ostracized. Who would want a prostitute (a rough
translation of a Chinese stereotype for a person (usually a girl) who dated in high school)! Your
future boyfriend will be embarrassed to be around you, and then he will stab you and steal your
money!’ Is what my grandma (on my mom's side) cries at the mention of dating. Then she curses
my imaginary partner in complicated foreign dialect I don’t understand. My grandpa (from my
mom's side) has taken interest in this conversation, eyeing us both on the leather sofa. Then, if
one overprotective adult is not enough, he sighs and prepares his own lecture about valuing my
education first. I merely wanted to interview my grandparents' history together. But it’s turned
into my twentieth lecture on the horrors of dating. I’ll dutifully insist, again, that I don’t have a
boyfriend, and yes, I’ll date after I finish college and after I’m successful. My grandparents have
an excessive stigma attached to dating, I couldn’t fathom the reason why until a week later. As I
have been interviewing my grandparents' life, their struggles, and researching history from a
blurry textbook, I've begun to realize that their concern isn't so baseless.
To give some background, my Grandparents were born in the 1950’s in Beijing China.
They went to a normal school and my grandparents met in sixth grade. Since they were born
during the 1960’s, the Cultural Revolution had reached its peak. It was a sociopolitical
movement in which education and knowledge was viewed disdainfully and many students
dropped out or destroyed school campuses. Additionally, the CCP had wanted to preserve
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China’s socialism by dismantling capitalism. I’ll only focusing on cultural aspects since China’s
oppressive politics is very complicated, even worse when translated to English. The Asians
wanted to change their oppressive norms by disregarding education and social norms. Because of
this period, my grandparents’ opinion on various topics has been significantly affected by the
outcomes of this revolution.
Staring off my interview, my first question was, “How did you meet?” My grandfather
answered, “At school, we were in sixth grade, your grandmother was the most beautiful girl I’ve
ever met. But dating was the last thing on my mind.”
Curious, I inquired further, “Why not?” My grandma said, “ I was ranked 9th in my
school. Your grandpa was ranked 200. We were kept separated, especially with the outlandish
revolution happening.” To elaborate in China, you were ranked by your grades in school, and
everything about your GPA was public. My grandma was the 9th best student in her class, while
my grandfather was top 200th. I inquired further on the ‘outlandish revolution’, but they
dismissed me and told me to not investigate something so foolish. Curiosity peaked, I pirated
Chinese textbooks and after a couple days, I realized the only significant event during the 1960’s
to 1970’s was the Cultural Revolution.
A week later, I continued my interview by asking, “What was the Cultural Festival?”
Then, “Why was the Cultural Festival so negative if it helped them separate from oppressive
norms?” My Grandpa looked at me in surprise. Then he frowned disapprovingly, no doubt
annoyed by my newfound knowledge. He answered in a gruff voice, “Don’t let those foolish
ideals get in your head.”
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“Why not?” I pushed, insistent; he responded, “The Cultural Revolution had its merit in
the beginning. Even I was tempted to join. But what can a person achieve without an education,
who would hire you?”
“I don’t know?” I mumbled, my grandpa continued, “Those who joined the revolution
dropped out of schools. The girls had started to date in high school, became unfaithful. Years
later, the revolution was fruitless. Those who participated had no education, became loud,
disrespectful, and greedy. No prosperous companies would hire rude and uneducated men. They
ended up with grueling low-paying jobs or becoming homeless groveling for money on the
streets.”
“...And the girls?” I asked. Grandpa studied me disapprovingly. “Those who dated in
high school were dismissed and unwanted. They were seen as uneducated and unfaithful, then
dismissed as future sex-workers because didn’t focus on their education no matter how beautiful
they were.” In China, education is a huge part of a student's life. My mom has told daunting
stories of attending school for 10 hours, then homework for another eight hours before heading
to bed. She claimed she had no time to even think of dating or perusing any of her hobbies.
“Is that why you don’t want me to date so soon?” I asked, “Yes.” He grumbles, as if it
was obvious. He continues onto my twenty-first ramble on why you shouldn’t be dating so early.
But as he continued, I found newfound appreciation for my grandparents’ lectures and
protectiveness.
Slowly, my annoyance turned into exasperation as my grandfather’s voice faced in the
background. They were concerned for my well-being and image and although I understood way
before they had good intentions, I never understood why they were so adamantly against it. Now
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I’ve understood the reason, I’ve got a newfound admiration for their concern. Although I’m not
planning to disobey their wishes them anytime soon, since their concern does make sense.
