EMOTIONAL ALCHEMY

C H A P T E R

05
ANGER
Is my anger legitimate?
Do I have a right to be angry?
What’s the use of my getting angry?
What good will it do?

Anger simply is.

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 EMOTIONAL ALCHEMY

ANGER
THE ATLAS OF EMOTIONS FOR THE
DALAI LAMA & PAUL EKMAN

VISUALISING THE SCIENCE OF EMOTIONS

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 EMOTIONAL ALCHEMY

WHY IS ANGER ONE OF OUR

MOST BLOCKED EMOTIONS?
WHAT’S THE USE OF HOW UNPROCESSED
ANGER? ANGER SHOWS IN
Anger may be a message that we are THE BODY:
being hurt, that our rights are being
Deficiency
violated, that our needs or wants are
Autoimmune disease
not being adequately met, or that
Low energy/ fatigue
something is incorrect.
Poor digestion
Ulcers
Our anger may tell us that we are not
Depression
addressing an essential emotional issue
Body tensions and pains
in our lives or that too much of our self
Poor self-discipline
—our beliefs, values, desires, or
Low self-esteem
ambitions—is being compromised in a
Collapsed middle
relationship.
Attraction to stimulants
Victim mentality
Our anger may signal that we are doing
Weak-willed
more and giving more than we can
Passive
comfortably do or give. Or our anger
Unreliable
may warn us that others are doing too
much for us at the expense of our own
Excessive
competence and growth.
Heart issues
High blood pressure
The benefit of anger being
Acid reflux
blocked in our expression... Body pains
Why are angry people so threatening to Overly aggressive, dominant,
others? If we are guilty, depressed, or controlling
self-doubting, we stay in place. We do Need to be right
not take action. Change is an anxiety- Manipulative, power hungry deceitful
arousing and difficult business for Attraction to sedatives
everyone, including those of us who Temper tantrums, outburst
are actively pushing for it. not only Stubbornness
because it brings about the disapproval Driving ambition (A-type)
of others, but also because it signals Competitive/ Arrogant
the necessity for change. Hyperactive

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 EMOTIONAL ALCHEMY

How does anger first form in our SOURCES OF RAGE

subconscious? Childhood trauma and conditioning -
Being told kids shouldn’t have temper
Aside from apparent examples of tantrums, ‘be a good girl/boy’. Even
boundaries being crossed or traumatic without wrong, cruel or inadequate’
occurrences, there are some more parents - internalised unconscious
subtle ways anger and pressure can be resentment can occur in everyday
internalised in the body and mind... settings.

1. That which is generated in infancy Feeling Inadequate - Deeply

and childhood and never repressed need to seek approval, love,
dissipated admiration or respect from the external
2. That comes from self-imposed leads to compulsive, highly
pressure, as in perfectionism, being conscientious, successful people who
driven or a gooder. do not feel they are enough.

That is the reaction to the real Perfectionist - neat and tidy, high
pressures of everyday life. standards, driven, often seen in very
successful people. Perfectionists
unconsciously set themselves up to
standards they can never meet = rage.
Shame is also a significant factor.

Goodism - Self-sacrificing of own

needs. Society demands you be a good
mother, son, daughter, colleague etc.
The inner narcissist self does not have
such an imperative. Some of us do not
want to always be of service. Also,
unconscious anger can build if we are
not fully seen or appreciated for our
efforts.

Guilt - Past transgressions still lingering

in the psyche, self-criticism about not
doing enough, inadequacies. FOMO
(fear of missing out), but from what?

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DEPENDENCY
Angry at self for having needs or being
dependent as an ‘adult’. Angry at the
persons upon whom we’re dependent.
Fierce independence can come from
this - pushing away that we depend on
others. It can influence poor choices,
e.g. in mates or professions.

THE WORLD
Life and the world around us External
pressures, or society, of our family.
Pressures to be a certain way or
achieve a social status. Collective
values of our country e.g. America =
achievement, success, materialism
Japan = conformity, hierarchy, respect,
working long hours etc.

When anger doesn’t have anywhere to

go, it has an uncanny way of making us
feel exhausted, overwhelmed and in
freeze state of numbness.

EXCERSICE
Current Pressures in Your Life
1. List all the pressures you recognize
in your life right now.
2. Categorize them into:
Ones you can do something
about
The ones you can't accept - be aware
Ones you can't
of the process that they are causing
3. Take action on the ones you can: you pain. Decide that you no longer
Correct or try to address them. accept for them to do this to you.

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THE CURSE OF THE GOOD

GIRL / NICE GUY
PUTTING ALL OTHERS WHY DO WOMEN SO
BEFORE YOURSELF OFTEN FALL INTO THE
Those of us who are locked into
NICE PERSON TRAP?
ineffective expressions of anger suffer Nice people are rewarded by society
as deeply as those who dare not get The “bad” that we must avoid includes
angry. any number of thoughts, feelings, and
actions that might bring us into open
Getting tearful, self-critical, or “hurt.” conflict, or even disagreement, with
Avoiding making clear statements others. To obey this rule, we must
about what we think and feel, when we become sleepwalkers. We must not
suspect that such clarity would make see clearly, think precisely, or
another person uncomfortable and remember freely. To not show our
expose differences between us. truth.

The amount of creative, intellectual,

ANGER IS INEVITABLE and sexual energy that is trapped by
WHEN: this need to repress anger and remain
unaware of its sources is simply
our lives consist of giving in and incalculable.
going along;

when we assume responsibility for

other people’s feelings and
reactions;

when we relinquish our primary

responsibility to proceed with our
own growth and ensure the quality
of our own lives;

when we behave as if having a

relationship is more important than
having a self

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SELF RESPONSIBILITY
WHEN IT COMES TO
YOUR ANGER
Anger is a tool for change when it
challenges us to become more of an
expert on the self and less of an expert
on others.

Learning to use our anger effectively

requires some letting go...

Letting go of blaming that other

person whom we see as causing our
problems and failing to provide for
our happiness.

Letting go of the notion that it is our

job to change other people or tell
them how they should think, feel,
behave. SPEAKING TRUTH
When looking at situation, If we feel chronically angry or bitter in
disagreement or occurrence causing an important relationship, this is a signal
you frustration - “Who has the that too much of the self has been
problem?” is a question that has compromised and we are uncertain
nothing to do with guilt or culpability. about what new position to take or
The one who has the problem is simply what options we have available to us.
the party who is dissatisfied with or
troubled by a particular situation. To recognise our lack of clarity is not a
weakness but an opportunity, a
Another person cannot “make” us feel challenge, and a strength. Slow down!
guilty; they can only try. People will
predictably give us a hard time if we Our anger can be a powerful vehicle for
shift an old pattern, but we alone are personal growth and change if it does
responsible for our own feelings—guilt nothing more than help us recognise
of changing boundaries included. that we are not yet clear about
something and that it is our job to keep
Rage is alchemised passion - struggling with it. Just know every
absolutely a force for good if it wakes complaint hides a desire - can we
people up to the truth in the world. speak from that?

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VOCAL EXERCISE
Our throat chakra is the most powerful channel of communication and
purification. It bridges our physical and subtle bodies - earthly and
ethereal planes. Our voice vibrates out our energetic truth, whether we
like it or not.

This vocal exercise is not only perfect for warming up the vocal cords
(specifically important as we do a lot of anger exercises and releases) - it
is also a beautiful activation for the energetic connection between heart
and throat. Supporting yourself to tune into your heartfelt truth and
deliver it to the world.

Find a space where you are undisturbed and feel comfortable making
sounds.

Take three deep breaths in through the nose

and out through the mouth with a sigh.
Feel into your heartspace with each inhalation and each exhalation.
Let it expand and become aware of any sensations arising.

Stick to the breathing pattern.

Make a fist with one hand and gently tap your whole chest area.

Let your jaw be soft. Let all sounds fall out.

Try not to control and pay attention to what vibrates out.
And how that feels within the body.

If you want to take it a little further:

See if any emotions or sensations are arising.

Where can you feel this emotion or sensation in your body?

If it could vibrate, how would it sound?
If you gave it a voice, what would it say?
Witness what wants to be expressed.

Come back to silence whenever you wish and see how you feel.

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RAGE
OLD RAGE
Rage left over from old injuries can be
compared to a shrapnel wound. You
can pick almost all the old metal out
but the tiniest shard remains. These can
twist and turn and cause the same ache
as the old wound. Small irritants of the
old wound rising up in the psyche.

None of us can escape our history, we

can certainly put it in the background,
but it is there nevertheless. Rage is not
like a kidney stone, if you wait long
enough it will pass - no no. You must
take right action. Then let it pass and
more creation will come to your life.

JUSTIFIED RAGE
There are times, although rare, to let Women feel the sightest change in
loose alt he fire one has. In response to someone else’s temperament - with
a serious offence, big and against the many tiny clues, intuition can sense what
soul or spirit. All other reasonable is going on. In order to use these wild
avenues for change have been gifts, a woman must remain open to all
attempted first. If these fail, then we things - this openness leaves her
have to choose the right time. boundaries vulnerable - exposing them
to injuries of spirit.
For full born rage - woman pays
attention to her instinctual self - it
Avoiding conflict: is an initial feeling
knows when it is time. Intuitively like
better, but this is not the learning we are
protective mother wolf, they know and
after. The learning we are after is to know
they act. There is a time for righteous,
when to allow right anger and when not.
rightful anger. The splendid gift of When to act in an integral and wild
women so attuned is to see, hear, manner. The ability to express anger is
sense, receive and transmit images and within a wolfs repertoire, to explode
ideas and feelings with lightning speed. when needed, and should be within ours
too.

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THINGS LEFT UNSAID

How many times do we silence what were feeling?
Mitigating the pain that can come from these situations.

EXERCISE 1 EXERCISE 2
Write out ALL of the things you are What are the conversations you’re
not telling people - I never told xxx NOT having?
about xxx
All the things you are not talking about
These are things a good girl wouldn't with people, to save their feelings or
say - which leads to hidden work and keep the status quo.
invisible labour which is a tremendous
source of rage for women. There may be an undetonated bomb in
every once of those points. Knowing
All the times you don't get credited, that we use avoidance as a form of
acknowledged or compensated for - protection. It does all parties involved
things not seen, taken for granted, not an injustice to not share the truth.
paid for. The things you do outside of
your scope and without being asked. We want to be moving from Numbness
All these things drain physical, mental > Rage > New clarity around our energy
and emotional energy and desires.

Become aware that these actions are What are you actually caring about?
your choice - give yourself credit for it.
They then become either an intentional What are you fighting for? not against?
act of love or a prioritising of yourself Its easy to focus on what you DON’T
want but WHAT are you willing to
FIGHT FOR?

Love lives inside rage. Rage is everything you’re fighting against. We

don't get powerful by unplugging. Connecting to the desire
transforms rag into power. For example, you could be against police
brutality but in reality its that you are for the sanctity of human life.
The later is much more potent and powerful.

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