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Lust.
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vain and have been loved in vain by another-by feeling flattered by the attention of their admirers,
the time they reach their late teens or early 20s. most report feeling annoyance at having to endure
Thus, unreciprocated love appears to be a common unwanted advances, discomfort and guilt at hav-
life event. Interestingly, women report having ing to deliver rejection messages, and a host of
been in the "rejectot" role more often than men, other negative emotions, including anger, frustra-
and men report having been in the "would-be tion, and resentment. The intensity of these nega-
lover" role more often than women. Some research- tive reactions depends in part on the behavior of
ers speculate that this may stem from the fact that the would-be lover. For example, a person dealing
men tend to fall in love more readily than women with an extremely persistent suitor who continues
(and therefore find themselves more frequently in in his or her pursuit despite repeated requests to
the position of would-be lover), whereas women celse is far more likely to experience rage, hostil-
tend to fall out of love more readily than men (and ity, disgust, and other strong negative emotions
consequently find themselves more often in the than is a person whose unwanted suitor is content
role of rejector). to love unobtrusively from afar.
In summary, unreciprocated love is a common
occurrence that primarily produces emotional
Consequences of Unreciprocated Love distress. Unfortunately, there is no easy way to
recover quickly from the experience of unrecipro-
Although folk wisdom (actually, Victorian poet cated love. Time is perhaps the only cure.
Alfred Tennyson) tells us that "it is better to have Pamela C. Regan
loved and lost than never to have loved at allr" the
reality is that unreciprocated love can be, and See ako Atraction, Sexual; Falling in Love; Love,
often is, an extremely unpleasant experience for Companionate and Passionate; Lust
both the unrequited lover and the object of his or
her affection. Autobiographical accounts provided
by would-be lovers and rejectors reveal that nega- Further Readings
tive emotion is the most common consequence of Baumeister, R. F., Ea'Wotman, S. R. (1992). Breaking
unreciprocated love. For example, would-be lov- hearts: The tuo sides of unrequited /oze. New York:
ers often report that their unreciprocated passion Guilford Press.
caused them to feel intense pain, suffering, heart- Baumeister, R. F.,'lfotman, S. R., 6c Stillwell, A. M.
break, and disappointment. Additionally, they (1,993). Unrequited love: On heartbreak, anger, guilt,
report having experienced extreme bouts of jeal- scriptlessness, and humiliation. Journal of Personality
ousy and anger, which were often directed at their and Social Psychology, 64, 377-394.
beloved's chosen partner. Frustration and fears of Hill, C. A., Blakemore, J. E. O., & Drumm,P' (1997).
rejection are also common consequences of loving Mutual and unrequited love in adolescence and young
another person in vain. However, unreciprocated adulthood. P ersonal Relationsb ip s, 4,'J- 5-23.
love is not an entirely unpleasant experience for Sinclair, H. C., & Frieze, I. H. (2005). When courtship
the lovelorn suitor. In addition to the unpleasant persistence becomes intrusive pursuit: Comparing
emotions they experience, unrequited lovers also rejecter and pursuer perspectives of unrequited
report a variety of pleasant emotional outcomes. attraction. Sex Roles, 52, 839-852.
For example, happiness, excitement' the blissful
anticipation of seeing the beloved, sheer elatio
the state of being in love, and other positive
tions are commonly reported by most woul
suitors. Many also look back on their u
procated love experiences with fondness and an Lust (also called sexual desire, sexual interest, or
appreciation for the opportunity they had to expe- sexual attraction) is the motivational component of
rience passion and other intense emotions. human sexuality. Lust is experienced as an interest
Rejectors, however, do not usually experience in sexual activities, a drive to seek out sexual
positive outcomes. Although some rejectors report objects, or a wish, need, or craving for sexual
contact. Although people can feel and express a week; similarly, he or she may possess a powerful
variety of sexual responses within their interper- sexual urge at one point in time and then a much
sonal relationships, lust appears to play an espe- less-intense sexual need at another. In addition,
cially important role in the attraction process and people differ in the chronic amount of lust that
in the early stages of romantic relationships, par- they experience; some individuals generally have a
ticularly as people fall in love. This entry distin- low level of sexual appetite, whereas others habit-
guishes lust from other related sexual responses, ually experience high levels of desire.
examines its origins and correlates, and explores its The second dimension along which sexual
consequences in ongoing, romantic relationships. desire varies is qualitative and concerns the speci-
ficity of the desired sexual goal and sexual object.
A person in the throes of lust may wish to engage
Conceptualization and Measurement in a specific sexual activify (e.g., intercourse) with
a specific other individual (e.g., the partner).
The experience of lust is presumed to be distinct Alternately, he or she may simply have an urge to
from other sexual responses, including sexual engage in some form of sexual activiry with an
arousal (which involves physiological arousal, unspecified partner; in this situation, both the
genital excitement, and the subjective awareness sexual goal and the sexual object are diffuse rather
of genital and physiological arousal), sexual actiu- than specific.
lry (which consists of overt sexual behaviors, such Because lust is a subjective, internal experience,
as masturbation, "pettingr" or intercourse), and rather than an overt physical or behavioral event,
sexual feelings that are associated with these scientists generally measure it with self-report
responses (such as satisfaction, fulfillment, and methods. These involve asking people to respond
pleasure). Of course, these sexual responses fre- to questions about their feelings in general or for a
quently co-occur and thus are experienced rela- specific other person (e.8., a dating partner or
tively simultaneously. For example, the sight of an spouse). People might rate thefu overall level or
attractive person may cause an individual to feel amount of.desire ("How much sexual desire or lust
an urge to engage in sexual activities with that do you experience?"), the frequency of their sexual
person and to fantasize about what sex with that urges ("How often do you experience sexual desire
person might be like; these lustful feelings may or lust?"), or the intensity or degree of their sexual
subsequently produce physiological arousal and attraction to their romantic partner ("How
genital excitement. The subjective awareness intensely do you desire sexually?" or "FIow
of this sexual arousal may, in turn, increase the sexually attracted are you to
desire to engage in sex with the other person and
may result in actual sexual behavior. After orgasm -?").
or sexual satiation, the individual's body will Causes and Correlates
return to its prearoused state, and sexual desire
also may .decrease. Thus, the interrelationship Research indicates that lust is associated with a
among desire, arousal, and activiry is complex; variery of factors. Some of these factors involve
each response can influence the others, and they the partner or the desired object. Certain partner
may co-occur. Researchers nonetheless consider characteristics appear to excite desire more than
each experience to be a separate component of the others. For example, most people consider an
human sexual response cycle. attractive appearance, good overall personaliry,
Lust or sexual desire varies along at least rwo sense of humor, kind disposition, self-confidence,
dimensions. The first dimension is quantitative and intelligence to be pariicularly sexually appeal-
and concerns the magnitude of the desire that is ing attributes for someone to possess. In addition'
experienced. Both the intensiry and the frequency individuals with symmetrical facial features, an
with which lust is experienced can vary within one ayerage body weight, and a sex-typical distribu-
individual over time. For example, a person may tion of body fat or "shape" (for women, an hour-
experience sexual desire on numerous occasions glass shape; for men, a straighter shape) are
one week, only to feel no desire at all the following rypically considered sexually desirable.
Lust 1,02L
Although variables associated with the partner alopecia, hirsutism, and seborrhea. In all three
are undoubtedly important, the maiority of groups, treatment often is associated with a reduc-
researchers interested in understanding the dynam- tion in sexual desire, fantasies, and urges. Finally,
ics of lust have focused on person or individual- the administration of testosterone has been noted
level factors. For example, men and women with to result in an increase in the strength and fre-
serious physical illnesses, including cancer' diabe- quency of sexual desire among men and women
tes, and Parkinson's disease, typically report complaining of diminished sexual interest' men
decreases in their overall level of sexual interest with hypogonadism or eugonadism (medical con-
ditions that result in abnormally low levels of tes-
I
following the onset of their illness, and their desire
levels are usually lower than those reported by tosterone), and women with androgen deficiency
healthy adults. Depression and other forms of syndrome (an androgen deficiency caused by che- I
major mental illness are also associated with motherapy, hysterectomy [removal of the uterus],
decreased desire, as is excessive and chronic use of or oophorectomy [removal of the ovaries]). These
alcohol and other recreational drugs. Another findings suggest that some minimum level of tes-
person factor that is related to the ability to experi- tosterone is necessary for the experience of lust.
ence lust is age. Although most healthy older
adults continue to experience desire and other
sexual responses, research reveals that both men Are Men or Women More Lustful?
and women report a decline in their level of sexual
interest with advancing age. Biological sex or gender is another individual-level
One of the most important individual-level fac- factor that appears to be associated with the expe-
tors that scientists have identified is the hormone rience of sexual desire. Certainly the question of
testosterone (an androgen' or masculinizing hor- whether men or women are the more "lustful" sex
mone, that is synthesized primarily in the testes has long interested scientists. Current research sug-
and the adrenal cortex, and to a lesser extent in the gests the following conclusions. First, both sexes,
ovaries). A growing body of research reveals that particularly in adolescence and young adulthood,
the ability to experience lust is associated with the feel sexual desire fairly frequently. Second, men
action of this particular hormone. For example' typically report experiencing sexual desire more
levels of testosterone are positively correlated with often than do women. Third, when asked to rate
self-reported levels of sexual desire and frequency their level or amount (as opposed to frequency) of
of sexual thoughts in healthy adults. That is, the desire, men tend to report a greater amount than
higher the level of active testosterone in a person's do women. Thus, although lust is a common expe-
bloodstream, the more sexual desire he or she rience for both sexes, at first glance, men appear
reports experiencing and the more ofren he or she to be more lustful than women. However' women
indicates having sexual thoughts. In addition, experience greater variation in hormone levels
people who have undergone surgical procedures than do men and, as a result, are particularly
iro.h removal of the adrenal glands) that result prone to fluctuations in desire. For example' many
"t
in a sudden decrease in their levels of testosterone *o-.tt report increases and decreases in their feel-
report decreased feelings of sexual desire. Similarly, ings of sexual interest as their bodies go through
triatment with synthetic steroids that suppress the the various phases of the menstrual cycle.
synthesis of testosterone produces diminished sex- Pregnancy, menopause, and other hormonally
ual desire. This result has been observed in three mediated life events may also alter a woman's lev-
gtoups of individuals: male sex offenders who are els of sexual desire. Consequently, in any given
ireated with the anti-androgenic substances cypro- span of time, there will be occasions when a wom-
terone acetate or medroxyprogesterone' cancer an's intensity or frequency of dbsire exceeds that of
patients who receive anti-androgenic treatment in her male counterpart. There will also be times
^combination
with surgical castration as part of when his desire exceeds hers and times when the
their therapeutic regimen, and people who are fwo experience roughly equal frequencies or levels.
given androgen antagonists to treat androgen- Thus, the question of which sex is more lustful is
dependent hair and skin problems such as acne, a difficult one and can only be answered by future
1022 Last
researchthat examines the pattern of men's and for the partner may sometimes indicate that some
women's levels of desire over time. degree of emotional conflict or interpersonal diffi-
culty exists in a couple's relarionship. If that is the
case, treatment administered by a qualified thera-
Relational Consequences pist may prove beneficial. Clinical research sug-
gests that the most effective treatment programs
Lust appears to play a key role in the process of for sexual desire problems are those that combine
romantic attraction and relationship development. traditional cognitive-behavioral techniques that
Feelings of sexual desire for another individual target the low-desire partner (such as sexual fan-
may propel a person to initiate interpersonal con- tasy exercises and cognitive restructuring) with
tact, thus leading to the beginning of a romantic techniques that target the interpersonal dynamics
relationship. Intense sexual attraction also is asso- befween the partners, including training in verbal
ciated with, and may even produce, feelings of communication skills, emotional communication,
passionate love. In fact, most people believe that and sexual intimacy.
sexual desire is part and parcel of the state of being
in love. For example, when asked to describe the Pamela C. Regan
difference berween "being in love with" and "lov-
Seealso Attraction, Sexual; Falling in Love; Love,
ing" a romantic partner, the majority of men and
Companionate and Passionate; Marriage and Sex; Sex
women spontaneously mention sexual desire as
and Love; Sexual Dysfunctions
creating the essential difference between the two
experiences (and as being much more reflective of
the state of being in love than of loving). Similarly,
Further Readings
when asked to identify the basic features or ingre-
dients of passionate love, most people list sexual Berscheid, E., &
Meyers, S. A. (7996). A social
desire or lust (along with other positive experi- categorical approach to a question about love.
ences). Moreover, dating partners who report a Personal Relationships, 3, 1,943.
high level of sexual attraction for each other tend Kaplan, H. S. (1979). Disorders of sexual desire and
also to report being passionately in love, whereas other new concepts and techniques in sex therapy.
partners with lower levels of desire for one another New York: Simon & Schuster.
are correspondingly less "in love" (although they Levine, S. B. (1984). An essay on the nature of sexual
desire. Journal of Sex dy Marital Therapy, 10, 83-96.
may like or love each other a great deal).
Levine, S. B. (2003). The nature of sexual desire: A
Although sexual attraction is often present dur-
clinician's perspective. Archiues of Sexual Bebauior,
ing the initial stages of a romantic relationship,
32,279-285.
particularly when the partners are falling in love
Regan, P. C. (1998). Of lust and love: Beliefs about the
with one another, it may not remain at the same role of sexual desire in romantic relationships.
high level throughout the entire relationship. Over
P ersonal Relationships, 5, 739-157.
time, partners commonly experience decreased Regan, P. C. (2000). The role of sexual desire and sexual
sexual desire for each other. Because the abiliry to activity in dating relationships. Social Behauior and
experience lustful feelings is associated with the P ersonality,
8, 5 1.-60.
2
partners' physical and mental health, age, hor- Regan, P. C., &
Berscheid, E. (1.999). Lust: What ue
monal variations, and other factors (including know about human sexual desire. Thousand Oaks,
the loss of novelty that occurs as partners become CA: Sage.
habituated to each other), a reduction in their Trudel, G., Marchand, A., Ravart, M., Aubin, S.,
sexual desire is to some extent inevitable and does Turgeon, L., & Fortier, P. (2001). The effect of a
not necessarily mean that their relationship is dys- cognitive-behavioral group treatment program on
functional. However, a sudden dramatic loss of hypoactive sexual desire in women. Sexual and
desire or a sustained feeling of sexual repulsion Relationship Th erapy, 1. 6, 1.4 5-'164.
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