Shy to Standing Ovation
How many of you remember the 1st poem you recited in your class or that speech you
gave on independence day or that song which made you a rock star for all your friends.
(Ask people to raise their hands)
Wow, so many…………………………… (If people lift their hands),
Such boring lot of people……………………… (If no-one lifts hands)
Trust me, I (also) don’t know any.
Ask me a riddle, give me a maths problem or even a surprise test, I won’t finch a bit but
the mere hint of a speech, presentation or sometimes even a dialogue would make my
heart race like Usain Bolt.
On the day of the presentations, I would drag myself to the board, look at those peeping
eyes & suddenly my knowledge of words, thinking ability and confidence would say,
“Humara ho gaya, ab bye. ;)
Trust me when I say that exams were my best time in school.
Somehow I managed in school but my college, BIT Mesra, was a different beast
altogether, loads of people jumping for that club president position, doing everything in
their capacity to get noticed, aiming for that limelight and me, the ever-so-self-doubting
girl. Always wary of those eyes that would judge me.
I still remember, I waited for 5+ hours for my interview for a content writing position
only to get interviewed in solitude.
All my friends were actively participating in clubs and were a live wire on the stage, on
the other hand, I was somewhere in the shadows hiding behind the crowd.
I became the master of behind-the-scenes work, content to write for clubs or hide
behind a desk during presentations. My voice, it seemed, was destined to remain
unheard.
Over the course of 4 long years in college, I must say, I overcome most of my fear of
speaking in public through my experience with the DRISTI foundation. As the content
head, I would be an active part of all initiatives and almost all of them included going to
the nearby villages and interacting with the locals.
My speech would not be very fancy, I can surely say, no one would have remembered it
either but this small act of interaction made me realise that a mere effort to express
your feelings & say what you feel has the power to make people do as you say.
A thing spoken in the right taste & with the right audience can create a memory of a
lifetime.
During my masters in IIT Guwahati, my fear of public speaking was almost gone and I
would be an active participant in presentations and even debates but the ultimate test
was yet to strike.
I got informed that my thesis paper was selected for review at The Indian Geotechnical
Conference at IIT Roorkee.
I was on cloud nine, fully ecstatic till the realization dawned on me.
Thoughts started bubbling in, what if I fumbled, what if I make a mistake, they all will
laugh at me. Old fear was back and it kept me awake for many coming nights.
I couldn’t even enjoy my flight & the natural beauty of Roorkee because of this fear.
Just the night before the conference, I received a call from home and I still remember
what my mother told me one night,
What are you really afraid of?
Is your belief in your knowledge really this weak?
Are you afraid of judgment?
Forget all this, everyone makes mistakes, everyone stumbles.
And guess what? I was reborn!
I was ready to take on the world now. I practiced my presentation relentlessly, picturing
myself owning the stage. The day of the conference arrived, and yes, there were
butterflies fluttering in my stomach. But this time, they were joined by a newfound
sense of determination.
(Take a deep breath and let it out slowly)
As I walked on stage, the lights seemed blinding, the audience a faceless mass. But I took
a deep breath, channelled all my preparation, and began. My voice, at first shaky,
gradually gained strength. The words flowed, the slides transitioned seamlessly. And
you know what? The world didn't crumble. No one laughed. No one scoffed. Instead,
there were attentive faces, even a few nods of agreement. Finally, when it ended, there
was a moment of silence & I heard a clap in the corner, then another & another &
suddenly full room was giving me a standing ovation.
My happiness, self-belief & confidence were over the roof. I still remember, it was the
best feeling in the world.
I am no special and did nothing too extraordinary. If I can, you can too.
I urge you to take that leap of faith. You might stumble, you might falter, but you will
grow. And who knows, you might just surprise yourself, like I did, by becoming the star
of your own story.
