The Good-
Enough Mother
A Throughout history, new parents have
experienced the pressures and
responsibilities that come with rearing a
child. The mother in particular, for
biological and societal reasons, is under
stress to fulfill the expectations that she
and society put on her. Donald Winnicott,
a British paediatrician and psychoanalyst,
broke ground and shocked those around
him with his original views on the
relationship between children and their
mothers. Winnicott challenged the traditional and idealised view of parenting and provided theory and
guidance that was more grounded in the reality of parenthood. Winnicott’s notions of the ‘good-enough’
mother and the facilitating environment that he described remain important in the study of child
development.
B It would not be an exaggeration to say that most parents try to provide the best for their children, and
many feel guilty when they are not able to do so, especially when many women and men in the modern
world try to balance personal and professional lives with perfect parenthood. This key role for adults in
today’s world has led to this subject being intensively examined and various theories of parenting being
created. While a variety of models have informed the development of parenting programmes, four core
theories underpin the majority of them.
C Social learning theory is based on the assumption that children’s behaviour will improve when
appropriately reinforced; good behaviour is rewarded and bad behaviour is either ignored or
appropriately sanctioned. Social learning theory-based programmes teach parents strategies for
punishing child misconduct and rewarding positive behaviour.
D Attachment theory is based on the notion that an infant’s ability to form a strong emotional bond with
their primary caregiver is a natural part of its development. The security of this bond, also known as
attachment security, is largely determined by the parents’ ability to respond sensitively and
appropriately to their infant’s bids for attention. Programmes based on attachment theory therefore aim
to improve parental sensitivity by increasing parents’ understanding of their children’s requirements and
attachment-related conduct.
E Parenting styles theory is based on research that suggests children’s behaviour is directly related to
their parent’s child-rearing practices. Parents who combine high levels of parental warmth with high
levels of supervision are likely to have children who are more confident, more autonomous and more
socially responsible. This parenting style is often referred to as an authoritative style of parenting, as it
recognises the child as an individual in his or her own right. For this reason, many parenting programmes
include elements that encourage parents to allow their children to experience risk-taking amidst high
levels of supervision. The model of human ecology assumes that a child’s development is determined by
his or her interaction within the environments of the individual, family, school, community and culture.
Each of these environments contains elements that can either improve a child’s life outcomes or place
them at risk for adversity. Every family is unique in terms of these risk and protective factors influencing
it. Programmes based on this model consider ways to strengthen protective factors in order to manage
any on-going risks.
F Winnicott’s idea of a facilitating environment created for a child by a ‘good-enough mother’, who is
supported by the adults around her, rests easily alongside the theory of attachment. Winnicott’s
facilitating environment is provided by an unconscious process within an ordinary mother who is fond of
her baby. Winnicott suggests that during pregnancy, a mother develops a state of heightened sensitivity,
which continues to be maintained for some weeks after the baby’s birth. When this heightened state
passes, the mother has what Winnicott calls a ‘flight into sanity’, and she begins to be aware of the world
that exists outside of her state of primary maternal preoccupation with her infant.
G The good-enough mother then continues to provide an environment that facilitates healthy
maturational processes in her baby. She achieves this by being the person who wards off the
unpredictable and who actively provides care in the holding, handling and in the general management of
the child. The good-enough mother provides physical care and meets her baby’s need for emotional
warmth and love. She also protects her baby against those parts of her from which murderous feelings
are brought forth when, for example, her baby screams, yells and cries continuously. By containing her
own hateful feelings about her baby, and using them to intuit the baby’s terror and hate, the good-
enough mother facilitates her baby’s thoughts and expressions of omnipotence by adapting to his needs
until such time as he gradually begins to feel safe enough to relinquish these feelings. At this stage, the
process of integration can start and the baby begins to develop a sense of ‘me’ and ‘not me’. To achieve
this shift in the baby, the good-enough mother must, by a gradual process, fail to adapt to her baby’s
needs in order that the baby can begin to learn to tolerate the frustrations of the world outside of
himself and his mother.
H Winnicott intended to take the pressure off women who became mothers, but critics have argued that
Winnicott’s idea of the good-enough mother has placed the undue expectations upon the ‘real’ mother
that she must shoulder most of the responsibility for the care of her baby. Furthermore, she is held
responsible for how well her baby flourishes.
I Like many social theories of child development, it is clear to outsiders that real-life practice exhibits
characteristics of all theories and most parents show parts of each theory in order to adapt naturally to
whatever situations arise. Nevertheless, Winnicott’s ideas have been a source of comfort and hope to
many mothers who have naturally struggled with the challenge of motherhood.
Questions 37-40
Complete the summary below.
Write NO MORE THAN TWO WORDS from the text for each answer.
Winnicott’s theories are linked to the theory of attachment – an 37 ……………. on the part of the mother
builds the relationship between mother and child. A mother’s heightened sensitivity before and after
birth soon changes and allows her to realise how life carries on away from her child.
The good-enough mother manages her child to develop his/her healthy 38 ……………. She provides care
and love and deals with the natural negative feelings produced by the pressure of caring for a baby. By
doing so, the baby slowly realises he/she is safe and must abandon its feelings of 39 …………….. In order
to succeed, a good-enough mother must fail to fulfil some of the baby’s needs, so the baby learns the
realities and independence of life.
Critics say Winnicott did not alleviate pressure from mothers, but increased 40 ……………. that she must
be solely responsible for rearing the child successfully.
