Unit

1
Paragraph to Short Essay
Unit Goals

Rhetorical focus:
• paragraph structure
• unity and coherence in a paragraph
• the paragraph and short essay
• short essay organization

Language focus:
• simple and compound sentences
• run-on sentences
• dependent clauses

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The Paragraph

The reason one writes isn’t the fact he I write entirely to find out what I’m
wants to say something. He writes thinking, what I’m looking at, what I
because he has something to say. see and what it means. What I want
— F. Scott Fitzgerald and what I fear.
— Joan Didion

A. Read the quotes about writing. Why did these professional writers write? Do
you share their feelings in any way?

B. Now discuss the quotes in small groups. Make notes about your feelings on
writing. As a group, present your views on writing.

Rhetorical Focus

Review of Paragraph Structure

A paragraph is a group of sentences about a topic. A typical
paragraph begins with a topic sentence, which introduces the topic.
The supporting sentences that follow support the idea in the topic
sentence with explanations, reasons, and other details. The concluding
sentence brings the paragraph to an end.

Formatting a Paragraph
• Leave one-inch margins on the left and right side of the page.
• Indent the first sentence. The rest of the sentences follow each other,
so that the paragraph looks like a square with a little space taken out
of the corner.
• Double-space your paragraph.

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2 Unit 1: Paragraph to Short Essay
Exercise 1 Ident if ying t he elem ent s of a st udent paragraph
A. Read the paragraph. Then label the formatting elements of the paragraph.
Use the words in the box.

a. double spacing b. margin c. indent

The Ice-Man
1. Whenever I remember my experience in the Mexican Air Force,

I think of my flight instructor because he taught me how to fly a

fighter jet. His nickname was Ice-Man, because he was always calm.
2. This was a positive characteristic because he had to teach students

not to panic in a dangerous situation. For example, one time, I made

3. a big mistake while we were flying in the clouds. Most instructors

would take control and fix the situation, but not Ice-Man. He just

gave instructions to fix the problem. I corrected the mistake and got
confidence in my abilities. I will always remember his quiet, clear

voice and the black aviator glasses that he wore. He was a special

person in my life, and I hope that someday I can see him again and
thank him for helping me to realize my dream of flying solo and

becoming a real pilot.

B. Answer the questions about the paragraph above. Give reasons for your
answers.
1. Circle the topic sentence. Does the topic sentence help you understand what
the paragraph will be about?
2. How many supporting sentences does the paragraph have? Underline them.
3. Do all the supporting sentences relate to the topic sentence?
4. Circle the concluding sentence. Does the concluding sentence make the
paragraph feel finished?

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 Exercise 2 Reading a st udent paragraph
Read the paragraph. What is the risk that the boy takes?

The Coconut Tree

When I was a boy and first learning about the world, I took a big
risk. I was playing in the yard outside of my family’s house with my
friends. It was a hot day, and we were resting in the shady side of our
house. One of my friends dared me to climb the coconut tree in our
yard. I looked at the tree. It was mature and very tall, but a little bit
curved. I had seen men climbing these trees, and it looked easy, but I
had never tried before. I wanted to show my courage, so I said I would.
The tree was scratchy, but I found places for my feet and hands and
soon I was near the top. But then the tree began to move in the breeze.
Suddenly I fell. There was a great pain in my arm. My friends ran to
tell my mother who took me to the hospital. I had a broken arm, and
one of my ribs was broken. I felt bad for a long time after that. And the
worst part was that every day I had to walk past the coconut tree and
remember my foolish risk.

Exercise 3 Analyzing t he st udent paragraph

A. Answer the questions about the paragraph above.
1. Underline the topic sentence. Is it the first or second sentence?

2. Is the first sentence indented?

3. How many supporting sentences are there? Which are they?
4. Circle the concluding sentence.

B. Respond to the paragraph by answering the following questions.

1. Where was the writer?

2. Who was he with?

3. What was the consequence of the risk he took?

4. Have you ever done something risky? What?

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Rhetorical Focus

The Topic Sentence

An effective paragraph contains a good topic sentence. A successful
topic sentence has the following features:
• It introduces the topic, or what the paragraph will be about. It also
contains an idea or opinion about the topic. This idea is called a
controlling idea about the topic.
t opic cont rolling idea
Certain types of insects can benefit a garden.

• The topic sentence must not be a simple fact or detail. Instead, it

must contain a specific idea. The idea or opinion must not be too
general, or the topic sentence will be unclear.
There are approximately 4,000 chemicals in cigarette smoke. (fact, not
topic sentence)
Smoking is bad. (idea too general for a topic sentence)
Smoking advertisements are a harmful influence on children. (specific idea)

• The topic sentence usually appears as the first or second sentence of

a paragraph. Here it is the second sentence.
Have you ever noticed that closets are getting bigger and rooms are getting
smaller? Changes in popular culture can be seen in changes to the typical
family home.

• The topic sentence implies the purpose of the paragraph: to explain,

narrate, compare, describe, tell cause or effect, demonstrate or argue,
or tell steps in a process.
My sister’s personality is completely different from mine. (shows comparison)
Smoking results in thousands of smoking-related deaths each year.
(tells cause and effect)

Exercise 4 Ident if ying t opics and cont rolling ideas

Circle the topic and underline the controlling idea in the topic sentences below.
1. The painting Starry Night, by Vincent Van Gogh is fascinating in many ways.
2. My first driving lesson was a disaster.
3. The process of getting a driver’s license has several steps.
4. My ability to speak English has changed my life in several important ways.
5. Some computer games involve the player in physical activity.
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 6. Cloudy weather affects certain people in negative ways.

Exercise 5 Ident if ying purpose in t opic sent ences

Identify the purpose of the paragraph that follows logically from each topic
sentence below.
1. Almost anyone can get a good grade if they follow these instructions.
a. express an opinion b. tell steps in a process c. narrate a story
2. There are three major causes of obesity in children.
a. compare two subjects b. explain causes / effects c. describe a topic
3. I will always remember a fishing trip that I took with my father when I was
12 years old.
a. compare two subjects b. explain causes / effects c. narrate a story
4. I believe that students should not own credit cards.
a. tell steps in a process b. explain causes / effects c. express an opinion
5. Owls are different from hawks in several significant ways.
a. compare two subjects b. describe a topic c. express an opinion
6. My dog, Sparky, is my best friend.
a. tell steps in a process b. describe a subject c. narrate a story

Exercise 6 Predict ing paragraphs f rom cont rolling ideas

Circle the topic and underline the controlling idea of each topic sentence below.
Then with a partner, predict what the rest of the paragraph will discuss.
1. Immigrating to the United States from Vietnam was difficult for my parents.
Prediction: A narrative about the writer’s parents’ journey from Vietnam
to the U.S.
2. Cell phones should not be allowed in classrooms for several reasons.
Prediction:

3. Cancún Restaurant has the best seafood in town.

Prediction:

4. Training for the marathon is a complicated process.

Prediction:

5. Taking the TOEFL is a hardship for many students.

Prediction:
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6 Unit 1: Paragraph to Short Essay
Exercise 7 Ident if ying ef f ect ive t opic sent ences
Read each pair of sentences. Write TS next to the sentence that is more effective.
Be prepared to explain your choice.
1. TS a. An English-English dictionary is the best choice for English
learners.
b. Many English learners use dictionaries.
2. a. The grains of rice should not stick together.
b. Persian rice is only considered authentic if it is made in the
following way.
3. a. The Internet has changed the way students do research for
term papers.
b. The Internet is changing students’ lives.
4. a. A college degree is important.
b. Having a college degree has many positive effects on a person’s life.

Exercise 8 Writ ing ef f ect ive t opic sent ences

A. Rewrite each topic sentence so it has both a topic and a controlling idea. Write
the revised topic sentence in the left-hand column of the chart. The first one is
done for you.
1. Topic Sentence: I have an older brother.

Revised topic sentence: Topic: My older brother

My older brother is a
great soccer player. Controlling idea: is a great soccer player.

This paragraph will be about: why he is a great

soccer player. For example, maybe he has a
lot of stamina. He might be good at passing
the ball. Or he might be a very effective team
player.

2. Topic Sentence: Many students eat a lot of fast food.

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 Revised topic sentence: Topic:

Controlling idea:

This paragraph will be about:

3. Topic Sentence: There is a beach near my house.

Revised topic sentence: Topic:

Controlling idea:

This paragraph will be about:

4. Topic Sentence: Many teenagers go shopping.

Revised topic sentence: Topic:

Controlling idea:

This paragraph will be about:

5. Topic Sentence: Hurricanes hit Florida every year.

Revised topic sentence: Topic:

Controlling idea:

This paragraph will be about:

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B. Now exchange books with a partner. Read each revised topic sentence, and
write its topic and controlling idea in the right-hand column of the chart. Then
write what you think the paragraph will be about. When you have finished,
discuss with your partner.

In Part 2, you will …

• learn about paragraph unity and coherence.

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 PA RT 2
Unity and Coherence

Rhetorical Focus

Unity Within a Paragraph

Effective writing must have unity. A paragraph has unity when all the
sentences support one single idea:
• The paragraph must have one controlling idea in the topic sentence.
Otherwise, the paragraph loses focus.
• The supporting sentences must support, demonstrate, prove, or
develop the main idea in the topic sentence. If they do not, they will
be irrelevant or off-topic and destroy the unity of the paragraph.
• The concluding sentence should restate the idea in the topic
sentence to reinforce the main idea for the reader.

Exercise 1 Reading a st udent paragraph

Read the paragraph. What is the talent of each of the three family members
described in the paragraph?

Stories of Nepal
My mother grew up in a creative and interesting family in Nepal.
Her father was an astronomer who worked for the King of Nepal. Very
often he would take her to work with him so she could look through
a telescope and see the planets and stars. Then she would play in the
planetarium until her older brother came to pick her up. On the walk
home, her brother would tell her stories. Sometimes he would point
to someone on the street or standing in a doorway and tell her that
the stranger was a magician or a time-traveler and begin a new story
about the person. My grandmother was also interesting. She liked to
paint portraits of children. She painted many beautiful portraits of my
mother and her cat, Sani, although my mother said it was difficult to

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 sit still. After my mother left Nepal, she studied computer
programming in Wisconsin. I love to remember my mother’s stories,
and now I enjoy telling my own daughter about her grandmother’s life
in Nepal.

Exercise 2 Analyzing t he st udent paragraph f or unit y

Examine the organization of the paragraph by answering the questions below.
Then compare your answers with a partner.
1. Underline the topic sentence. Is it the first or second sentence?

2. Write the controlling idea from the topic sentence in your own words.

3. One sentence in the paragraph is irrelevant. Draw a line through it.

4. Why is the sentence irrelevant? Write your explanation below:

Exercise 3 Recognizing unit y in support ing sent ences

Read the following topic sentences. Put a check (3) next to each sentence below
that supports the topic sentence.
1. There are several reasons why online courses are increasing in popularity.
3 a. Online courses are flexible in terms of time.
b. Online courses have been available since the 1990s.
3 c. Online courses are more convenient for students who live far
away from the campus.
2. Childhood diabetes has many possible causes.
a. Obesity is a major cause of diabetes.
b. Children who eat too much sugar can get diabetes.
c. Children with diabetes need constant medical care.
3. The best way to reduce traffic in our city is to build a metro subway system.
a. Pollution is very bad in our city.
b. Widening the freeways has not solved the problem of traffic
congestion.
c. A metro subway system would encourage people to take public
transportation to work.
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 4. I am afraid of dogs because I had a scary experience with one when I was ten.
a. My children are not allowed to have a pet dog.
b. My neighbor owned a collie dog that ran around the
neighborhood without a leash.
c. The dog bit me.
5. Scenic Beach is my favorite picnic spot because of its beauty.
a. It is a quiet narrow beach covered with oyster shells.
b. One time I had an interesting experience there.
c. The Olympic Mountains rise straight up out of the water on the
other side of the channel.
6. Train stations are interesting places to visit.
a. The architecture of each train station is often connected to the
history of a city.
b. The passengers are frequently more interesting to watch than other
types of travelers.
c. Trains are a good alternative for people who are afraid of flying.
7. The world of dinosaurs is very familiar to the general population.
a. Scientists believe that the birds of today are descended from
dinosaurs.
b. Every year, new movies and TV shows about dinosaurs are
produced.
c. Children study dinosaurs and play with dinosaur toys from an
early age.

Exercise 4 Edit ing f or unit y

Read the paragraph. Draw a line through the sentences that are irrelevant. The
first one is done for you. Find three more.

I love to watch the pelicans in Galveston. I usually go in the winter.

The weather is not warm enough for swimming, so I usually do not
see many people on the beach. Pelicans are not elegant, but they are
interesting to watch. They remind me of prehistoric birds from my
school textbook on dinosaurs. I studied dinosaurs a lot when I was
young, and I am very fond of them. The pelicans have large grayish-
brown wings that bend sharply when they are flying, and their beaks
are long, so their faces look peculiar and old. My brother also really

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 likes pelicans. They are also graceful in their own way. A flock of
pelicans will fly along the coastline just outside the waves, and when
they see a good fishing spot, they stop, then turn and dive straight
down into the water. Sometimes there is an oil rig or a cargo ship in
the water, too. Sometimes several pelicans will fish in the same spot
for a while before moving down the beach and away from sight.

Exercise 5 Developing unit y

Write two or three supporting sentences for each of the following topic
sentences. Then exchange books with a partner and check your partner’s
sentences for unity.
1. Joining a sports team can provide many benefits.

2. My first day in my new school was full of surprises.

3. A road trip is the best way to see the United States.

4. Many people do not realize that packing a suitcase requires skill and planning.

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Rhetorical Focus

Coherence in a Paragraph
Coherence in a paragraph means that the ideas have a logical flow:
the relationship between the sentences is clear and one idea connects
to the next. One way to achieve coherence in a paragraph is to use a
pattern of organization, such as time order, spatial order, or order of
importance.

Exercise 6 Reading a st udent paragraph

Read the paragraph. How many rules does the writer give?

Important Rules for Acting On Stage

For people who would like to act in the theater, there are several
important rules to remember. One rule, often forgotten, is to make sure
you face your audience when you are on stage. If you turn away from
the audience, they cannot see your facial expressions. Next, make sure
that you speak loudly enough. If your audience has difficulty hearing
you, they will quickly lose interest. Another important point is to
memorize your lines. Rehearse them often—on the train, in the mirror,
while you are walking to class—so that you remember them. Finally,
perhaps the most important rule of all is to remain calm on stage if you
forget your lines. Don’t panic and stop speaking because the audience
will notice. Instead, make up something to say until you remember
your next line. As long as you continue speaking and appear relaxed,
the audience will probably not realize that you have made a mistake.
In conclusion, following these rules will help ensure a successful stage
performance.

Exercise 7 Analyzing t he st udent paragraph f or coherence

Examine the organization of the paragraph by answering the questions below.
Then compare your answers with a partner.
1. Underline the topic sentence.

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14 Unit 1: Paragraph to Short Essay
 2. What should an actor do if he forgets his lines?

3. The writer uses order of importance as a pattern of coherence. Do the ideas

move from more important to less important or less important to more
important?

Exercise 8 Reordering f or coherence

Read the sentences from a narrative paragraph. Some of the sentences are out of
order. Number the sentences from 1–10 to show logical time order. Then compare
your answers with a partner.

a. My family hugged me and cried because I had been gone so long.

1 b. I will never forget one day when I had to travel alone on the subway.
c. I was pregnant, and I had to go to an appointment at the hospital.
d. When my appointment ended, I got on the subway to go home.
e. That was why my surroundings looked unfamiliar.
f. My appointment was at 1:00 p.m.
g. Suddenly I looked up and did not know where I was.
h. I was exhausted and fell asleep on my way home.
i. Then I realized that I had fallen asleep.
j. It took me five more hours to get back to my home.

In Part 3, you will …

• learn about short essay structure and organization.
• practice writing a thesis statement.

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 PA RT 3
From Paragraph to Short Essay

Rhetorical Focus
int roduct ion

body
paragraph 1

body
paragraph 2

conclusion

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The Paragraph and the Short Essay
A short essay is longer than a paragraph, but like a paragraph it has
three basic parts: an introduction, a body, and a conclusion.
• Introduction: the introductory paragraph is the first paragraph of a
short essay. It contains a topic sentence and thesis statement.
• Body paragraph: A short essay has at least one or two body
paragraphs. These develop the idea presented in the introduction.
• Conclusion: The concluding paragraph is the final paragraph and
summaries the idea(s) presented in the short essay.
Compare the similar ways that a paragraph and a short essay function.

Paragraph Short Essay

The topic sentence states The introductory paragraph

the topic. states the topic.
The topic sentence states the The thesis statement states
the controlling idea. the controlling idea.
The supporting sentences of The body paragraphs support
the paragraph support the the idea in the thesis statement.
idea in the topic sentence. Each body paragraph has a
topic sentence.
The concluding sentence The essay conclusion
summarizes the idea in the summarizes the idea in the
topic sentence. thesis statement.

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 Exercise 1 Com paring a paragraph and an essay
Read the paragraph and then the short essay. Which is more interesting?

Paragraph Short Essay

My uncle Patricio is one of My family is full of happy,
the most interesting people in crazy, and talented people. My
my family. He is old and has aunt Margarita has a yard full
a wrinkled brown face. On his of orphaned pets. My brother
arm, there is a tattoo. Patricio José is an expert tailor, and my
has an intriguing history. He and mother loves to experiment in the
my mother were born in a small kitchen. However, I think the most
village in the mountains. When interesting is my mysterious uncle
he was seventeen, he left home to Patricio.
explore the world. Now he fixes Patricio is an elderly man now,
air conditioners in Los Angeles, with white hair sticking up all
and during the winter months, he over his head. Beneath his messy
sometimes comes to visit us and hair, he has a wrinkled brown face
play the accordion. I love spending and powerful dark eyes that show
time with my uncle Patricio many emotions. Patricio is tall and
because he has an interesting look skinny, and he wears baggy pants
and a mysterious past. Someday, and a plaid shirt. He has a tattoo of
I hope that he will tell me more a heart on his arm. The heart has
about his life. the word Rosa written across it in
red and black letters, but he has
never told me who she is.
Patricio has an intriguing
history. He and my mother
were born in a small village in
the mountains. When he was
seventeen, he left home to explore
the world. On one trip, he went
to Siberia to look for gold. On
another trip, he went to Alaska
to work on a fishing boat. Now
he fixes air conditioners in Los
Angeles, and during the winter
months, he sometimes comes to
visit us and play the accordion.
I love spending time with
my uncle Patricio. He has an
interesting look and a sad and
mysterious past. He is also a
talented musician. Someday, I hope
that he will tell me about Rosa and
how he got the tattoo with
her name.

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Exercise 2 Analyzing t he paragraph and short essay
Answer the questions about the paragraph and short essay on page 16.
1. What information is included in the short essay introduction that is not in the
topic sentence of the paragraph ?

2. Write the topic and controlling idea of body paragraph 1 in your own words.

3. What new details have been added to body paragraph 1 in the essay?

4. Write the topic and controlling idea of body paragraph 2 in your own words.

5. What additional details have been added to body paragraph 2 in the essay?

6. What information is included in the essay conclusion that is not in the

concluding sentence of the paragraph?

Rhetorical Focus

Short Essay Organization

An effective essay must have the following elements.
Introduction
• A hook is an opening sentence that attracts the reader’s attention.
• The sentences after the hook give background information necessary to
understand the topic.
• The last sentence in the introduction, the thesis statement, is very
important because it gives the topic and the controlling idea of the entire
essay.
Body Paragraph
• An essay has at least one body paragraph in which the writer develops the
thesis statement from the introduction. The body paragraph begins with a
topic sentence, followed by supporting details.
Conclusion
• An essay ends with a conclusion that summarizes or restates the main idea
in the thesis statement.

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 Exercise 3 Underst anding t hesis st at em ent s
A. Read the short essay. The thesis statement is missing. Choose the best thesis
statement from the list following the essay. Discuss your choice with a partner.

Imagine having a job that fits your class schedule. You do not have
conflicts with studying because you only work at night and on the
weekends. In addition, you can work in a beautiful room with paintings
on the walls, candlelight, and beautiful music playing in the
background.

First, restaurant work is a great job for a student because the hours
are different. Most restaurants are busiest during the weekends in the
evening. Since students have to go to class during the week and during
the day, a restaurant job gives them time for class.
The second reason why restaurant work suits students is that the
student can eat at the restaurant. Students are short on time. They don’t
want to go shopping, cook, or clean up, so they need to get meals in a
hurry. It is perfect if they can eat at work.
Students can make money, eat, and still have time for class if they
work in a restaurant. For this reason, many eating places are staffed by
students. It’s a great job for those who need to work while they are in
college.

a. A restaurant job is a convenient choice for a college student for several

reasons.
b. Many restaurants hire college students.
c. A college student can make a lot of money working in an expensive
restaurant.

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B. Now read this short essay. The thesis statement is missing. Write a thesis
statement on the lines provided. Make sure your thesis states a topic and a
controlling idea. Compare your answer with a partner.

I have many wonderful memories of my childhood in El Salvador,

but I have one memory that still makes me shiver when I think about
it. I lived with my grandmother in a house in the country, and I had
many cousins to play with. The neighbors all knew me, and we
children always felt safe.

My scary experience happened when I was about ten. I was playing

hide and seek with some children from the neighborhood when my
cousin and I discovered a dark abandoned warehouse. We were happy
because we thought that no one would find us there. We went inside.
There were boxes, and everything was covered with dust. Suddenly
my cousin ran away. I thought she was hiding, so I laughed and
called her name, but she did not answer. I started to hide too, but at
that moment, I smelled a terrible odor. I looked in the corner, and a
big shape was moving. It was dark, and I couldn’t see very well, but
I knew it was big. I ran outside as fast as I could. My cousin was
outside, and we ran back to our house as fast as we could.
I still do not know what was in the warehouse. My grandmother
said she thought some thieves had been hiding there. She said it was a
lucky thing that they didn’t see me. Her words made me more afraid.
I thought, “what if they had caught me?” After that, I decided to stay
away from that dark warehouse. I learned to be very careful and never
go into empty buildings again, no matter what!

In Part 4 you will …

• review simple and compound sentences.
• learn about main and dependent clauses.
• learn how to correct run-on sentences.

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 PA RT 4
Editing Your Writing

Language Focus

The Sentence
A sentence contains at least one subject (a noun or a phrase) and a
verb, and expresses a complete idea. The verb expresses the action of
the sentence, and the subject tells who or what completed the action.
A simple sentence may contain more than one noun or verb.
Subject Verb
My dog runs.
My dog runs and chases squirrels. (two verbs)
My dog and cat run after squirrels. (two nouns in subject)

A complete sentence must contain at least one main clause. A main

clause contains a subject and a verb, and expresses a complete idea.

The Simple Sentence

A simple sentence, shown below, contains one main clause.
Subject Verb
My dog runs after squirrels.

The Compound Sentence

A compound sentence has two main clauses, separated by a comma
and a conjunction, or by a semicolon.

Main Clause Conjunction Main Clause

My dog runs after squirrels, and the squirrels run away.
My dog terrifies the squirrels, so they stay high in the trees.
My dog chases them everyday, but he has never caught one.
The squirrels climb trees, or they sometimes run through
fences.

Main Clause Main Clause

My dog is very clever; he can do many tricks.

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22 Unit 1: Paragraph to Short Essay
Exercise 1 Ident if ying clauses
Read the sentences. Then circle the number of clauses contained in each
sentences.
1. The fish were hungry. 1 2
2. The fish were hungry, and they ate the food quickly. 1 2
3. I love to go to the park, so I try to go every weekend. 1 2
4. The bus takes a long time, but it is less expensive than a car. 1 2
5. Computers are very important today; they can do many things. 1 2
6. I want to marry a man with a good education and an
honest character. 1 2

Language Focus

Run-on Sentences
A run-on sentence is not a correct sentence. In a run-on sentence,
important punctuation is missing between the clauses. The sentence
“runs on” too long and confuses the reader.
• You can correct run-on sentences with a period, a comma and
conjunction, or a semicolon.
My dog runs fast he likes to chase animals in the park. (inCoRReCT)
My dog runs fast. He likes to chase animals in the park.
My dog runs fast, and he likes to chase animals in the park.
My dog is difficult to take care of still i love him very much. (inCoRReCT)
My dog is difficult to take care of; still, i love him very much.
My dog means a lot to me; he is my best friend.

Exercise 2 Correct ing run-on sent ences w it h conjunct ions

The following sentences are run-on sentences. Rewrite them as complete
sentences by adding the conjunctions and, or, so, or but.
1. I am busy with work I am studying.
I am busy with work, or I am studying.
2. Almost everyone in her neighborhood speaks her language she does not
have to use English.

3. Credit cards are convenient they are also dangerous.

EFFECTIVE ACADEMIC WRITING 2: THE SHORT ESSAY

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Part 4 23
 4. I did not have experience I tried to get a job.

5. Every time I travel, either I take a suitcase I take a backpack.

6. My lucky number is seven my favorite color is red.

Language Focus

Dependent Clauses
A dependent clause is a clause that is not a complete sentence by
itself. It has a subject and a verb, but it does not have a complete idea.
A dependent clause often starts with a subordinating conjunction like
because, before, since, when, after, or while. A dependent clause must
always be attached to a main (or independent) clause to make one
complete sentence. The dependent clause can come before or after the
main clause without changing the meaning, but the punctuation
is different.
dependent clause m ain clause
When I talk to my friend, she likes to tell me about her adventures.
m ain clause dependent clause
My friend likes to tell me about her adventures when I talk to her.

Exercise 3 Ident if ying dependent and m ain clauses

Underline and label the clauses. Write M above the main clause in each sentence.
Write D above the dependent clause.
D M
1. When I was growing up, everything was less expensive.
2. I guess things have changed since I was younger.
3. I was sad when we left my country.
4. When I am older, I want to have a big house with a patio and a swimming pool.
5. After you understand the meaning of a word, you can practice writing sentences.
6. It is only dangerous when the roads are wet.
7. Because the tide went out, the jellyfish were stranded on the beach.
8. My country was invaded many times before we formed our current government.

EFFECTIVE ACADEMIC WRITING 2: THE SHORT ESSAY

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24 Unit 1: Paragraph to Short Essay
Exercise 4 Correct ing run-on sent ences w it h punct uat ion
Read the sentences. If the sentence is correct, write C. If the sentence is
incorrect, write I and add correct punctuation, using a comma, semi-colon, or
period. Check for proper capitalization.
We
I 1. I went to the store with my friend Rachel. we bought milk.
2. We brought the groceries through the back door after we got back.
3. I noticed that there was a little dirt on the floor the DVD player was
missing nothing else was gone.
4. We called the police after we realized there had been a robbery.
5. The police arrived immediately and inspected the whole apartment.
6. They took statements later that afternoon they found the robbers and
Rachel’s DVD player.

Exercise 5 Edit ing a paragraph

Read the paragraph and edit as necessary. Correct the run-on sentences. There are
six mistakes.

I am the middle child in my family I wish I were not sometimes.

My brother and sisters have an easier life than I do. My older brother
is very responsible he is like a third parent my sisters and I have to do
what he tells us if our parents are not home. He also has more freedom
than we do. He can go out on the weekends and stay out late we have
to be at home by 10:00 p.m. While my brother has more freedom than
I do, my sisters have an easier life. They are twins they get a lot of
attention from our parents. My parents don’t often spend time with me
they spend most of their time with my sisters. Because I am not the
oldest, I do not have the same power as my brother, but I do not get
the extra attention either. As a result, I think the middle child is not
lucky at all.

In Part 5 you will:

• review topics and controlling ideas.
• review unity.
• practice identifying thesis statements.
• practice correcting run-on sentences.
EFFECTIVE ACADEMIC WRITING 2: THE SHORT ESSAY
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Part 5 25
 PA RT 5
Putting It All together
Exercise 1 Ident if ying t opics and cont rolling ideas
Circle the topic and underline the controlling idea in the topic sentences below.
1. Pizza is easy to make if you follow these steps.
2. If you compare a Mini-Cooper with a Volkswagen Bug, you will find several
important differences.
3. There are several ways to reduce stress.
4. Not getting enough sleep can have negative effects on a student.
5. One of my backpacking trips was almost my last.
6. A good journalist has to have special talents and skills.

Exercise 2 Edit ing a paragraph

Read the paragraph. Draw a line through the sentences that are irrelevant. There
are four irrelevant sentences.

When I want to eat steak, I go to my favorite restaurant, Saltgrass

Steakhouse, because I always have a good experience. I love walking
through the big heavy wooden doors because the spicy smell of grilled
meat makes my mouth water. The hostess knows my family, and she
always gives us a good seat where we can watch the other customers and
enjoy the cowboy decorations on the walls. The service is friendly and
efficient. On the other hand, the cook is often grumpy. He yells at the
waiters sometimes. The waiters always bring crayons and paper for my
daughters. I always order the rib-eye steak because the grilled meat is
tender and seasoned with delicious spices. After dinner, we talk and enjoy
the atmosphere. It is not good to eat there every day because the beef has
a lot of fat. All red meat has a lot of fat, and it can cause problems such as
high cholesterol. I like to eat at Saltgrass Steakhouse once a month, but
I would eat there more often if I had the money. It has the best steak in
the city.

EFFECTIVE ACADEMIC WRITING 2: THE SHORT ESSAY

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26 Unit 1: Paragraph to Short Essay