Negotiating
For some, negotiating is about winning. For others, it's about compromise. But if we think about it as a
collaboration, often both sides can get what they want.
Whether you're negotiating a multimillion dollar deal, agreeing on your role in a project or simply
persuading your colleagues to go for Chinese food for lunch, effective negotiation skills can help you to
motivate other people, get the best results and improve profitability.
There is often a misconception that negotiating is about insisting on our point of view to get our own
way. Conversely, others assume that negotiation is all about compromise and that we have to be ready
to forget 50 per cent of what we want.
But thinking of negotiating as either insisting or compromising can damage relationships and leave both
sides feeling as if they've lost. According to Fisher and Ury in their best-selling book Getting to Yes,
there is another way. They argue that collaboration is the key to negotiating successfully, and they
illustrate this by telling the story of the Orange Quarrel. It goes like this:
Joey and Jenny are arguing over an orange. In a win–lose situation, Joey might simply take the orange
from Jenny. Joey would then be satisfied but Jenny would be upset and frustrated. Alternatively, Joey
might find dishonest ways of convincing Jenny that she didn't want that orange after all. Using this
method, Joey might get his way, but he might damage their relationship in the long run.
If they focus on compromise, Joey and Jenny might decide to cut the orange in half. Their effort to share
means that each of them now has half of what they wanted but neither of them is fully satisfied.
However, if Joey and Jenny spent some time talking to each other, they might find out that Jenny in fact
wants the orange peel to make a cake. Joey, on the other hand, loves eating oranges and doesn't want
the peel. In this collaborative scenario, Joey and Jenny are both able to achieve 100 per
cent satisfaction when they realise that Jenny can have all the peel and Joey all the fruit. Yet, according
to Fisher and Ury, too many negotiations end up with half an orange for each side instead of the whole
fruit for one and the whole peel for the other.
The first step to understanding the role of collaboration in negotiations is to realise that it is not always a
competitive situation. One person's 'win' doesn't have to equal another person's loss. Exploring the
interests and needs of both parties can help us see solutions we didn't consider before.
Here are five things we can do to collaborate when negotiating.
1. Know your objectives.
What are your interests in this? Make a list of the results you'd like to achieve. What are your priorities?
Remember that maintaining a good relationship might be one of your objectives.
2. Separate the people from the issue.
Understand the difference between the content of the negotiation and the people who are negotiating.
Try to be objective and manage your negative emotions.
3. Ask questions and listen.
Some people enter a negotiation prepared with a speech about what they want. But as seen in the
Orange Quarrel, it is important to also understand your negotiation partner's interests and objectives.
So, ask questions, listen and get an overview of everyone's situation.
4. Find shared interests.
How different are your interests from your negotiating partner's? Get to know which interests clash and
which ones are shared. An understanding of shared interests will help you see this as an opportunity to
work together rather than a competitive situation.
5. Look at creative options.
The first solution you think of, for example, splitting the orange in half, might not always be the best one.
Think creatively and discuss different alternatives that might work for everyone.
Most people have positive intentions and they do want to get along, even in potentially tense situations.
By showing that we are professionals capable of collaborating, we can not only please everyone
involved but also set a strong foundation for future negotiations.
