Dear Kevin,

My name is Hamlet, the prince of hideous Denmark. I have a lot of questions and
worries on my chest that drive me KOOKY. Before I get into it, let me tell you a little about
myself and my life. I grew up in awful Denmark, as an awful prince, raised to treat peasants
like garbage. Rosencrantz, Guildenstern and I grew old together, HAHA these fools tried to
play me. I go to the University of Wittenberg; which by the way, my dumb uncle won’t let me
attend anymore. He drives me speechless, and I mean speechless. I fell in love with a
woman who is beautiful. She was smart, funny, and I can’t stop loving her. Her name was
Ophelia. I always write letters to her when we’re distant. I wrote so many love poems to her
too. My letters were sweet, gentle and funny, but I wasn’t good at it. Haha, thinking about it
makes me laugh all the time. What made me even happier was going to the theatre with my
family. Gosh, the plays were always so amazing, and the actors were able to flood the stage
with tears and so much passion. I love it. Suddenly the evilest and cruelest thing happens to
me. Everything went downhill from there. I received a letter that mentioned my amazing and
smart father has passed away. It brought me to tears. I was filled with so much sadness. I
wasn’t the man I was before. It was awful, awful I tell you. I attended the funeral of my dead
father and it was so sad; but wait a minute my own awful, powerless, two-faced, tramp
mother married my disgusting half-man half-goat with a lusty attitude uncle. The marriage
happened too quick and too fast too. Less than 2 months after my fathers funeral! Incest is
disgusting. What angers me even more is how everyone for God’s sake forgets about my
Hyperion-like father. Who in the name of God moves on that fast? I was so sick and sad,
Claudius you sick bastard! I must seek revenge. As days go by, I feel so tired and
discontent. I don’t want to fight anymore, I just want to sleep peacefully. Let's get to the
point. I am sick of life and everything sucks. I can’t deal with these problems anymore. I
have to continue acting crazy to fool these good-for-nothing idiots. Everything has gone
downhill. Every good person is bad… Who can I even trust? Even the friends that I used to
call my own brothers betrayed me. HOW DARE THEY! Those goofball snakes. Everything
is happening way too fast and all at once! My father is dead, my mother married my uncle…
*cough* Incest *cough*… What else can go wrong? Why can’t God allow me to take my
own life? Can’t I just deal with all my problems with a simple suicide??? I know putting up
with my issues is a good thing, but these issues? Yikes. I think sleeping eternally is my
golden ticket. Who knows, maybe my problems will still haunt in my dreams. Like the hell?
Why would I want that to happen, no girl. I heard there's a place, what's its name again? Oh
it's the place where you die and no one knows what will happen. The undiscovered country
they call it. Me going there? Hell no, pass, skip, next. The real question is, how do people
handle all of their problems that are negative without you know... Knife in heart... Yea, how
do they do it? Do they fight it or end it? Why do we fear to end our life? It's so simple. All it
takes is two steps. Help me! Find an answer for me! Save me! Oh lord set me free while I sit
here and wait for your goddamn reply. What must I do, What must be done? Oh, is that a
knife? Toodles!
Yours truly,

Hamlet

Dear Hamlet,

Before you do anything, listen to me! Step away from the knife. Calm down. Can you
do that for me? I understand your anger, sadness and frustration, but listen here.
Sometimes, life gets hard and you may encounter many problems. Nevermind. Do what you
want. I’m joking! But for real, life isn’t about being perfect. You can’t control it. It's all about
fighting to make it perfect. Your uncle may be the problem or whatever it is, but you can fight
it. Never give up! It is important to understand that things may get bad, but they can turn out
to be the greatest things. It is important for us to really understand ourselves and what the
best solution is. We need to overlook our inner demons, and look for what can make us
become better. Self-improvement, you know? I understand where you're coming from, but
there is a tiny light at the end of every road. Nothing else can go wrong if you push and
never give up, because having the perfect life requires time. Time is what you have! God
doesn’t want you to take your own life because the heavens have set out a path for you,
and the path they set for you is great and amazing, and you must encounter it! Suicide is
not the key because it's making you run away from the problems instead of facing it. You'd
want to face the problem because you can discover new things and new experiences to
help others around you. Facing every issue is a great thing because how else are you going
to learn and improve? How are you able to build up new experiences? This is why you face
the issues, even if it's downright horrible. This is the answer for your problem. The most
common question I get from people is how do they handle all their problems and issues so
well? Well, the answer is very simple. They do it by facing the problem even though it's
really, really hard. It takes time for them. I usually tell people to not look at the problem as
the whole image, but to break it up into very, very tiny pieces; step by step. For your issues,
instead of thinking of how to deal with it as a whole, try breaking up and see what issue you
can overcome easily first and tackle it one by one. The biggest thing we fear is ending our
lives. Here's why. When you end your life, you won’t be able to come back and reincarnate
yourself. You're going to miss all of your friends and family. You're going to stop building
awesome memories, or even improve on certain skills, or learn new skills that are fun. Life
is unknown. You never know what kind of fun you might get. What I think you should do is
now is to reconsider your plans on how you're going to take down your issues. Try one of
the methods I gave you, breaking it down to pieces. A very important man once told me this.
Keep in mind that you're never going to give up, no matter how hard it is. There is always a
light that is going to shine away your darkness. Take action if you feel the need to. Don’t
give up, at the end, there are always going to be victories. I hope my grandpa-wise advice
will help. I wish you the best of luck Hamlet!
Yours truly,

Kevin