The

Tempest
A play originally written by
William Shakespeare
and completely altered by
Geoff Bamber
 The Tempest
By Geoff Bamber

Synopsis
Prospero, Duke of Milan and part-time magician, is tricked into undertaking a hazardous sea
journey by his treacherous brother, Antonio, who promptly takes over the duchy when
Prospero is conveniently shipwrecked in a great storm.
Prospero, along with his daughter, Miranda, survives the wreck and finds himself on a desert
island. From there he uses his magic powers to gain revenge on Antonio and Alonso, King of
Naples, who is unwittingly supporting Antonio under the influence of his own unscrupulous
brother, Sebastian.
With the principals all gathered on the same island, Prospero sets out to divide and conquer, a
task somewhat hindered by the presence of a range of bizarre and possibly deranged supporting
characters.

Characters
Prospero, Duke of Milan
Miranda, his daughter
Antonio, his brother
Alonso, King of Naples
Ferdinand, his son
Sebastian, Alonso’s brother
Gonzalo, Alonso’s trusted adviser
Ariel, a spirit
Sycorax, a grotesque hag
Caliban, her son, similarly grotesque
Stefano, drunken sailor
Trinculo, drunken sailor

© 2011 by Geoff Bamber Page 1 www.lazybeescripts.co.uk

 The Tempest
Copyright 2011 By Geoff Bamber

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Published by Lazy Bee Scripts

© 2011 by Geoff Bamber Page 2 www.lazybeescripts.co.uk

 The Tempest
Act One
(The Court of Prospero, Duke of Milan.)
(Enter Miranda)
Miranda: Let all who have business at the Court of Prospero, Duke of Milan, come forward!
(Enter Prospero. He is slightly under the weather and is studying a book of magic tricks)
Prospero: You don’t really need to do that, Miranda, you know. I am the Duke of Milan. I
surely don’t have to be announced at my own court.
Miranda: It’s convention, Daddy. It has to be done that way.
Prospero: Well, all right. But perhaps not so loud. I am not at my best.
Miranda: You need more sleep. Staying up all night practising magic tricks is not what a Duke
of Milan should be doing.
Prospero: Everyone should have a hobby. And Prospero the Magician has a ring to it.
Miranda: Prospero the Duke of Milan has a better ring. And you have visitors. Uncle Antonio,
your favourite brother.
(Enter Antonio, with Alonso, Ferdinand, Sebastian and Gonzalo)
Antonio: Greetings, Prospero, and lovely little Miranda. A sweet girl. And what a wise Duke
of Milan you are.
Miranda: What do you want, Uncle Antonio?
Prospero: Now, Miranda, be nice to your uncle.
Miranda: I don’t like him.
Prospero: Smile sweetly and pretend that you do.
Antonio: Prospero, I have been thinking. You are looking tired.
Prospero: That’s just what Miranda was saying.
Antonio: You should take a holiday. I would be happy to look after the Duchy for you while
you are away.
Miranda: I’m sure you would.
Prospero: Miranda!
Antonio: I’m sure our visitors will agree. Alonso, King of Naples, his brother Sebastian, his
son Ferdinand and his wise old adviser, Gonzalo.
(All the group from Naples bow.)
Prospero: I am honoured, gentlemen.
Alonso: The honour is all ours.
Antonio: I was just suggesting that my brother could do with a holiday. He is looking tired.
Sebastian: He certainly is.
Alonso: Oh, I don’t know.
Sebastian: Oh yes, I have often though that you needed a holiday too.
Alonso: But I am not going to take one. Not without you, dear brother.
Sebastian: But I would stay in Naples and look after the kingdom.
Alonso: I would rather it was my son, Ferdinand.
Ferdinand: That’s me. (He turns to Miranda) And you would be the fair Miranda, of whom I
have heard so much.
Miranda: I have never heard of you, but don’t let that put you off.
Antonio: Miranda would, of course, be accompanying her father.
Prospero: You’re very keen for me to have this holiday.
Antonio: It is for the best. I think a cruise will suit.
Sebastian: Yes, a cruise. I believe a ship awaits.
Prospero: Well, I don’t really know…
Antonio: Yes, you do. I have arranged everything for you. Prince Ferdinand, why not escort
Miranda to the quayside?
Miranda: What, in case I try to make a run for it?

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Prospero: Miranda, you really must learn to trust people. Well, Antonio, what a kind and
thoughtful brother I have. Goodbye for now, King Alonso.
(Alonso and Sebastian bow. Sebastian’s bow is particularly extravagant.)
Sebastian: Perhaps you should see them off, Gonzalo.
Gonzalo: As you wish.
Antonio: Come along, everyone.
(Exit Antonio, Prospero, Miranda, Ferdinand and Gonzalo)
Sebastian: It would be a shame if something happened to Duke Prospero.
Alonso: Is it likely?
Sebastian: Accidents do happen. But I think you would find Antonio a much better Duke of
Milan to deal with. Between you and me, Prospero is not quite right in the head. All that magic.
He is obsessed with it. Antonio fears that he has become a dangerous lunatic.
Alonso: He seemed all right to me, more or less.
Sebastian: Lunatics hide it well. Such an accident might not be such a bad thing. Your policy
should be to support Antonio.
Alonso: What would my trusted adviser Gonzalo think?
Sebastian: He might not see it that way, but you can take my word that Antonio and I have the
best interests of Milan and Naples at heart. Antonio is the man. If I were King of Naples, which, of
course, is not about to happen, I would have no worries. No worries at all.
(As Sebastian exits, he passes Gonzalo entering. They exchange suspicious glances.)
Alonso: All safely aboard, Gonzalo?
Gonzalo: I am not sure about this. Not sure at all. I am not sure of Antonio’s motives. That
ship that he has put Prospero and Miranda on is hardly seaworthy.
Alonso: I am sure that Antonio is a loving brother to Prospero just as Sebastian is a loving
brother to me. In any case, if something were to happen to Prospero, Antonio would make an
excellent replacement and I would find him a wonderful ally.
Gonzalo: Who told you that?
Alonso: Sebastian.
Gonzalo: And who told him?
Alonso: Antonio. I am sure there is nothing to be concerned about. Sebastian said that if he
were King of Naples, he would have no worries, No worries at all. (Exit)
Gonzalo: If Sebastian were King of Naples, then it is Naples that would have to worry.
(Exit)

Act Two
(The Island. Enter Ariel, who prances about for a while, seemingly oblivious of the audience until
he suddenly realises that he is not alone.)
Ariel: Oh, I am sorry. I didn’t see you there. Good evening. My name is Ariel. I am a
sprite or is it a spirit. I am never quite sure. I am certainly one or the other. This is an island, as
you can doubtless see. Well, imagine it. It is entirely surrounded by an angry ocean. For there are
many storms out there. Waves smash, the wind howls and there are countless shipwrecks. There
have to be or we would have no story, would we? My job? Well, my job is every job there is, and
more. For I am enslaved, not free. I am in the service of Sycorax. Oh, the very name makes me
feel queasy. Sycorax is a witch. Is there a more polite word? Let me think. No, ‘witch’ just about
sums her up. I wish to get away from her but I am under her spell and I am at her beck and call.
(Sycorax calls from offstage)
Sycorax: Ariel!! Where are you, worthless wretch!
Ariel: And she is so polite.
(Enter Sycorax.)
Sycorax: Ariel! Ariel! Where are you?
Ariel: The eyesight isn’t too good. Ghastly old bat, crone, hag.
Sycorax: What did you say?
Ariel: Deaf too.
Sycorax: I heard that. (She grabs Ariel.) What are you doing?

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Ariel: Nothing, Mistress Sycorax.
Sycorax: I don’t pay you to do nothing.
Ariel: You don’t pay me.
Sycorax: Don’t split hairs. And who are you talking to?
Ariel: I’m talking to you, Mistress Sycorax.
Sycorax: No, before me.
Ariel: I was talking to myself.
Sycorax: Well, don’t. It is the first sign of madness, and I should know. I see that there is
another storm brewing. So there may be another shipwreck. You would think that people would
have more sense, but they don’t. Well, I have things to do. And so do you.
Ariel: Such as?
Sycorax: I’m sure I’ll think of something. Come along. (Exit)
Ariel: Yes, yes. I don’t like to admit it but she’s right. You can’t imagine that anyone would
sail into a storm. But they do. They did yesterday. And the day before. And the day before that.
Very sad. There are sometimes survivors but they don’t last long, not on here.
Sycorax: (Calling from offstage.) Ariel! Ariel!
Ariel: Ah, the dear sweet old lady calls. Doubtless I will see you all later. (Exit)
(Sound/Light effects: Storm)
(Enter Prospero)
Prospero: Come along, a girl. Hurry up. We haven’t got all day.
(Enter Miranda, dragging Prospero’s belongings in a trunk.)
Miranda: Yes, we have. We have all the days we need, and more.
Prospero: I hope there’s nothing damaged in there. I have all my magician’s equipment.
Prospero the Magician. (He opens the trunk, taking out his book, staff and hat.)
Miranda: But you are Prospero, Duke of Milan.
Prospero: Yes, daughter dear, I am Prospero, the rightful Duke of Milan but we all know what
happened there, don’t we?
Miranda: Uncle Antonio.
Prospero: Yes, my brother Antonio, helped by his friend Alonso, King of Naples. I had always
thought he was a decent sort. Not too bright but decent. It just shows. I was tricked out of my
dukedom.
Miranda: I told you not to listen to them. You’re looking tired, they said. You need a holiday
cruise, they said.
Prospero: Well, I was looking tired. I’m even more tired now. And what kind of ship was it
they are organised for me?
Miranda: I warned you about that as well. The rats were jumping off while we were still tied up
at the harbour.
Prospero: But, daughter dear, the gods are on our side. We survived the shipwreck and, as I am
a trained magician, I always knew I had something to fall back on if being a Duke didn’t work out.
We can’t go wrong. I have my book of spells, my magic staff and my rather stylish magician’s hat.
Miranda: It’s a good job that not everyone at King Alonso’s court is against you. His faithful
old adviser, Gonzalo, made sure your trunk had food in it to keep us going. He knew that the others
were up to no good.
Prospero: Good man, that Gonzalo. When I have my dukedom back, he will be rewarded.
Miranda: Well, I hope he hasn’t been holding his breath on that.
Prospero: Miranda, don’t be so negative. We will be off here in trice. I shall cast a spell which
will have us rescued. I shall consult my book of spells. (He consults his book.)
Miranda: That doesn’t have much in it.
Prospero: It is a work in progress. It will grow. Ah, here we are. ‘Spells for Hopeless
Situations’. (He concentrates deeply.) Right, that should do it.
Miranda: I didn’t hear anything.
Prospero: It was a silent spell. Proper magicians don’t go in for all that chanting business. It’s
rather common. Rescue is at hand.
(There is an uncomfortable pause.)
Miranda: I don’t feel very rescued.

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(Enter Ariel.)
Miranda: You may have mixed up your spells. You seem to have conjured up a goblin.
Ariel: I am no goblin. I am a spirit and you must protect me. (He shouts offstage) No, I
will not! I will not! Leave me alone, monstrous baggage! (He hides between Prospero and
Miranda) Excuse me. No, she has me. She has me. (He staggers a few steps and collapses.)
Prospero: Having a bad day?
Ariel: All my days are bad. My mistress, Sycorax, treats me so cruelly.
Miranda: Ever thought of running away?
Ariel: That is what I am doing, or trying to. But she has me under her spell. I’m enslaved.
Miranda: You poor thing. Daddy, do something.
(Enter Sycorax)
Sycorax: Ariel, where are you, you worm? I have menial tasks for you. I need my toenails
cutting. And then I may be cruel to you just for the fun of it. Oh, there you are. Ah, I see that you
have some company, also wishing to be enslaved perhaps?
Prospero: I think not. I am Prospero, a magician.
Sycorax: You have powers?
Prospero: Enough to release this creature from your spell.
Sycorax: But my powers can beat your powers any day.
Miranda: Says who?
Sycorax: Says me.
Prospero: Don’t make her angry, Miranda.
Sycorax: It is not possible. I was born angry.
Prospero: You, spirit, are hereby released from slavery. (He snaps his fingers.)
Sycorax: You can’t do that!
Miranda: Yes, he can.
Prospero: Did I mention that I was a Level Four Practitioner? And yourself?
Sycorax: I can’t quite recall.
Ariel: She’s Level Three, she’s Level Three! She’s spent years bragging about it.
Prospero: Years, eh? Then a lot of your spells will be old hat by now. But as I am a Level Four,
you know what I can do, apart from overturning your spells.
Sycorax: You wouldn’t.
Prospero: I might.
Ariel: Go on, go on! Do it! Do it! (Pause) Do what?
Prospero: I could turn you into something truly dreadful but I can see that someone got there
before me. And I am not sure that even a Level Four could come up with something much worse.
But I could certainly have a go. Constant sneezing, itching, breaking out in boils might be a good
one to start off with.
Sycorax: I’d rather you didn’t.
Prospero: So think yourself lucky just to have lost him.
Sycorax: He’s no loss. He’s useless. I will go, but you haven’t seen the last of me. Mark my
words, you haven’t seen the last of me. (Exit, cackling.)
Prospero: You, whatever your name is…
Ariel: Ariel, Sir.
Prospero: Ariel, you are free.
Ariel: I am, aren’t I? Free to prance and gambol about on the island. But it might go to my
head. Can I be your slave, just for a little while?
Prospero: I don’t think so.
Miranda: Father doesn’t like the idea of slavery. He’s very forward-thinking.
Ariel: But I am still indebted to you and I will help you in any way that I can.
Miranda: That is kind of you. He’s rather sweet, isn’t he, if you like weird people?
Prospero: I think we shall explore the island. Keep your eyes open for rescue ships.
(Exit Prospero and Miranda, who drags the Prospero’s trunk off with her.)
Ariel: Lovely people. Lovely, lovely people. There is one thing I failed to mention to them, and
‘thing’ is very definitely the right word this time.
(Enter Caliban, shambling.)

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Ariel: See any resemblance? Not to me, obviously. To Sycorax the hag? Hideous is as
hideous and does. Her son. His name is Caliban. You couldn’t make it up, could you?
Caliban: Oi! Where is my mum?
Ariel: She has been banished.
Caliban: Who’s going to look after me?
Ariel: Look after yourself.
Caliban: I don’t know how.
Ariel: How sad. You will starve and die. So it won’t be so sad after all.
Caliban: I want my mum. Why did she go?
Ariel: She crossed broomsticks with someone more powerful.
Caliban: Who?
(Enter Prospero and Miranda.)
Ariel: Him.
Prospero: Stay back, Miranda. It is too grotesque.
Caliban: I heard that. I’d be insulted if I knew what it meant.
Ariel: (carrying out introductions) : Prospero, a magician. Caliban, hideous son of hideous
Sycorax. Prospero, Caliban. Caliban, Prospero.
Miranda: Excuse me.
Prospero: This is Miranda, my daughter.
Caliban: She’s lovely.
Prospero: Yes, she is, and you aren’t… so stay away.
Ariel: Ah well, now you have all been introduced, I feel I must away and enjoy my freedom.
Caliban: Hey, what about my question?
Prospero: He had a question?
Caliban: I had a question. Who is going to look after me?
Miranda: That’s a very good question. Everyone has to be looked after.
Prospero: Yes, it is. I don’t quite have an answer.
Ariel: You got rid of his mother, for which I am eternally grateful, so he becomes your
responsibility, does he not?
Prospero: Does he?
Miranda: I think he probably does. Yes, we shall take him under our wing and teach him. What
do you think of that?
Caliban: That would be cool. I’ve never been teached nothing before.
Prospero: Well, you shall be teached… Taught now.
Miranda: About art and literature.
Caliban: Cor.
Miranda: It will be done under the framework of the National Curriculum of course. I’ve
always wanted to be a schoolteacher.
Prospero: And I’ve always wanted you to have a proper job, but we shall take on the challenge
and turn you into er… Something.
Ariel: He already is something. Hard to tell what though.
Prospero: Well, we shall turn you into something else.
Caliban: And I will help you live here. I will show you around. I know how to do that. I don’t
know nothing else.
Miranda: Well, I’m sure you’ll be a model pupil.
Prospero: Yes, now follow us… But not too closely.
(Exit Prospero, Miranda and Caliban.)
Ariel: Model pupil? Poor Miranda. Poor, sweet, innocent, trusting child. She’ll be sorry.
They both will. Let us move on, but no more than a few days. (Exit)
(Enter Caliban. He is reading from a tattered, old book.)
Caliban: I wandered lonely as a cloud… Why? Clouds don’t wander. They ain’t got no legs.
They can float. (He suddenly sees the next line.) Ah! That floats on high o’er vale and hill.
Well, that’s sorted that one out then. All about daffodils. You’ve got to be short of something to
write about if all you can come up with is daffs.
(Enter Miranda.)

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Miranda: Well, have you done your studying? Poetry is the music of life.
Caliban: I did the first two lines. I got fed up after that. This bloke’s taking a walk, on his
own, when… Er, he sees some flowers. That’s about it, isn’t it?
Miranda: I don’t think you really want to learn, do you? You haven’t been making much of an
effort lately.
Caliban: I reckon I’ve done enough.
Miranda: (Calling offstage) : Daddy! Daddy!
(Enter Prospero)
Miranda: Daddy, he’s being stroppy again. I’m bored with this schoolteacher business. I
thought it would all be fun and joy and excitement. Schoolteachers are the happiest, most contented
people there are.
(In a School production, Prospero should stare at any teachers in and around the audience.)
Prospero: Yes, whatever. Well, if Caliban will not co-operate, he will cease to be a scholar.
Caliban: Right you are, guv.
Prospero: And he will become our servant.
Caliban: A servant?!
Prospero: Well, slave actually. I was trying to be kind.
Miranda: And I so wanted to be schoolteacher. I’ll find something else but I’ll keep the
holidays. (Exit.)
Prospero: You don’t want to be educated.
Caliban: I know some stuff. Poems.
Prospero: Yes, you were studying ‘Daffodils’, weren’t you?
Caliban: No, proper poems. Love poems.
Prospero: Love poems?
Caliban: I was going to use them to woo the fair Miranda.
Prospero: Well, it’s just as well that we’ve nipped that one in the bud, isn’t it? (Exit.)
Caliban: I’m fed up with them. Them and their lah-di-dah ways. ‘I am Prospero, Duke of
Milan’. Well, if he’s Duke of Milan, why isn’t he in Milan doing duke-stuff? ‘I am Prospero the
Magician’. Well, if he’s Prospero the Magician, why hasn’t he magicked up some sort of rescue
plan. A flying carpet to whisk him and Miranda, Miss Snooty Knickers, back home? And if he’s so
good, why does he have to have a slave anyway? I’ll show them. I’ll show them all. I’ll think of
something. (Long pause) I will… I will… In a while. (Exit.)

Act Three
(Enter Ariel)
Ariel: You may remember… Well, you should as it was only about quarter of an hour ago…
How it was that Prospero and Miranda came to be upon this island. Correct. A plot hatched by
Prospero’s brother, Antonio, supported by Alonso, King of Naples. Well, methinks comeuppance is
at hand. The conspirators, together with others, return across the same stormy sea that claimed
Prospero’s ship. Unfortunately there is no storm. Well, not at the moment.
(Enter, dramatically, Prospero. He produces a telescope and looks out to sea.)
Prospero: Mm, too calm, too flat. No magic was needed to wreck my ship but I think that
carrying my brother and his friends needs a helping hand. (He gets out his book of spells) Vulgar
it may be, but needs must:
“Oh, mighty ocean
Surging sea
Take hold of those
Who usurped me
Turn their vessel
Through waves that crashed
To yonder rocks
And there be dashed!”
(Sound/Light effects :Storm)

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Prospero: And behold, a great storm. A tempest, even. Rather good word ‘usurped’, wasn’t it?
It means ‘booted out’ but that would not have rhymed. Now, to divide and conquer. (Exit)
(Enter King Alonso, staggering.)
Alonso: Hello! Hello! Is anybody here? I cannot be alone. I have issues. And I am never
alone. I have people. My people. (He hears no response.) Do you know who I am? I am
Alonso, King of Naples.
(Enter Ariel, taking Alonso by surprise)
Alonso: Aagh!
Ariel: Would you be Alonso, King of Naples who, together with Antonio, Duke of Milan,
conspired to boot out Prospero, the previous Duke of Milan?
Alonso: Yes, that’s me, I suppose. But I wouldn’t call it a conspiracy. Antonio seemed to
think it was for the good of everyone concerned.
Ariel: Especially him.
Alonso: So it seemed but… How do you know?
Ariel: Lucky guess. Besides, you look guilty. Perhaps that is why the storm brought you
here. Fate. What goes around comes around.
Alonso: And who are you?
Ariel: Ariel. A spirit.
Alonso: Spirits are not real, so you are not real. So I must be talking to myself.
Ariel: Unless you are dead, in which case talking to spirits is the only conversation you are
likely to get. (Exit)
Alonso: I am not dead. I would have noticed before now. (Looks for Ariel) Where has he
gone, if he was ever here at all? I am alone again. I don’t like this. Where are the others? My
trusted friend, Antonio, Sebastian, my loyal brother, my dear son, Ferdinand and my aged adviser
Gonzalo? Perhaps they are dead. Where am I? Where am I? (Exit)
(Enter Prince Ferdinand, helping Gonzalo.)
Ferdinand: Come along, Gonzalo, I’ll help you.
Gonzalo: You are most kind, Prince Ferdinand. I’ll be all right, I think. If I can just rest for a
while.
(Ferdinand helps Gonzalo to sit down.)
Ferdinand: Where is my father? Father! He was with us when the storm broke, wasn’t he?
Perhaps he was washed overboard.
Gonzalo: The currents close to this island are treacherous.
Ferdinand: I can’t understand it. That storm blew up out of nowhere.
Gonzalo: It was as if by some magical force.
Ferdinand: I don’t believe in that sort of thing. (He looks about the stage.) You can’t just lose a
king.
Gonzalo: Can he swim?
Ferdinand: Oh no, he’s far too grand for that. He has people to do that sort of thing for him.
Gonzalo: Then you can lose a king. I knew there would be trouble once he got involved with
Antonio. It was so convenient that Prospero’s ship sank in these very waters. Very convenient
indeed.
Ferdinand: I cannot believe that Antonio would endanger his own brother and the lovely Miranda.
I thought I was in there.
Gonzalo: Well, the chance has gone. (Looks about hopefully) We appear to be the only
survivors. Do you know what this means?
Ferdinand: Tell me.
Gonzalo: If your father is lost, you are now King of Naples.
Ferdinand: I am? I mean, I am. I like that. All those people waving and cheering. And they will
adore me. And, of course, the girlies. Shame about Miranda, but I shall now be spoilt for choice.
Draw up a shortlist.
Gonzalo: I hope you will be a good king.
Ferdinand: Meaning what?
Gonzalo: Well, with regard to choosing his friends… No, names, but we’ll say Antonio, current
Duke of Milan… Your father was not always a good judge. Occasionally foolish.

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Ferdinand: Especially if what you say is true. I never liked Antonio. Never liked him at all. One
doesn’t like to speak ill of the dead, but he was a bit of a stinker.
Gonzalo: And your Uncle Sebastian?
Ferdinand: As honest and trustworthy as the day is long.
(Enter Ariel.)
Ferdinand: Do you see what I see?
Gonzalo: What do you see?
Ferdinand: One of those.
Ariel: I am a spirit.
Ferdinand: I was just about to say that.
Ariel: I bring you a warning.
Gonzalo: Perhaps you are a little late.
Ferdinand: Yes, a warning before we were shipwrecked would have been helpful. I’m not sure
things could get any worse.
Ariel: Your Uncle Sebastian.
Gonzalo: I told you.
Ariel: He wishes harm upon you.
Ferdinand: I cannot believe that.
Gonzalo: I can. I was hoping that he had perished. Perhaps we had better move on to a place of
safety where I can rest.
Ariel: Good idea. I suggest that way.
(Exit Ferdinand, helping Gonzalo.)
(Enter Caliban)
Caliban: Who were you talking to?
Ariel: Wouldn’t you like to know? Perhaps survivors from one of the shipwrecks.
Caliban: Survivors? I don’t want to no survivors on here, but they could be useful, depending
on who they are.
Ariel: I see two coming this way. They are not to my taste. (Exit)
Caliban: I shall hide under this conveniently discarded cloak.
(Caliban hides as Stefano and Trinculo enter, inebriated.)
Trinculo: I am sore afraid, friend Stefano. For this island is deserted.
Stefano: No, it isn’t. We are here.
Trinculo: So we are. I feel much better now. More drink.
Stefano: More drink. Stand still.
Trinculo: I am still.
Stefano: Then it’s me. I must sit down. (He sits.)
(Caliban is moving.)
Stefano: I am seeing things now.
Trinculo: Heavens, it’s a turtle.
Stefano: You can eat turtle. You can make soup from it.
Caliban: No, no.
Trinculo: It speaks. A speaking turtle speaking fluent turtle.
Stefano: It is worse than a turtle. It is a…
Trinculo: It is a…
Caliban: I am Caliban.
Stefano: Of course you are.
(Stefano staggers to his feet and he and Trinculo begin to edge away.)
Caliban: I live here. This is my island. Well, it can be. Are you from those ships?
Stefano: Yes. Stefano and Trinculo. Humble crew men of no great importance – obviously.
Nobody tried to save us anyway.
Trinculo: That’s because our masters think nothing of us.
Caliban: That is what has happened here. I am enslaved to a magician called Propsero. He
thinks he owns the island.
Stefano: But you do.

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Caliban: Exactly. If we worked together we could take it over. We would be the government.
Would you like that?
Trinculo: I am all for that.
Stefano: What population do we rule?
Caliban: Five, including us, and Ariel, a spirit. But being a spirit, he doesn’t count.
Stefano: Five? I can see that if the other two are like those, then the state totters. But it’s a
start, I suppose.
Caliban: The other two are this Prospero and his lovely daughter, Miranda, for whom I have the
hots.
Trinculo: And how does fair Miranda feel?
Caliban: She will weaken. I’ll be Prime Minister.
Stefano: What about us?
Caliban: Chancellor of the Exchequer. You will look after all the money.
Trinculo: And me?
Caliban: Head of The Navy. We are an island. We should have a navy. Are you up for it?
Stefano: Lead on, Lord Caliban.
Caliban: Lord Caliban? I like it. Now to overthrow Prospero and to charm the lovely Miranda.
(Exit)
Stefano: I am Chancellor of the Exchequer. I will look after the money, but there is the money.
Trinculo: I am in charge of the Navy. But we have no ships, at least ships that are in one piece.
Stefano: I think we’ll leave Lord Caliban to run his country on his own.
Trinculo: While we get on with more important matters, like drinking.
(They turn to exit, singing, but Caliban reappears at the other side of the stage.)
Caliban: I know where there is a case of rum, washed up from one of the wrecks. (Exit)
Stefano: As I was just saying to my dear friend here, we are with you all the way.
(Triculo and Stefano turn and follow Caliban off.)

Act Four
(Enter Antonio and Sebastian. They look about nervously as if expecting to be booed as the
obvious villains of the piece.)
Sebastian: Hello. Hello. Where is everyone else? It is as if we have been separated by magic.
Antonio: I do not believe in magic. My brother Prospero did, of course, which is why sending
him off to be lost at sea was such a good idea.
Sebastian: Now my brother Alonso, King of Naples, appears to be lost too.
Antonio: Is that a problem? When my brother was lost, though I helped him to get lost, I
became Duke of Milan. Don’t you have ambitions? We would make a good team. Antonio, Duke
of Milan, and Sebastian, King of Naples.
Sebastian: I am, of course, in favour of such a development, but it would be Alonso’s son, Prince
Ferdinand, who would take over.
Antonio: What if Ferdinand were dead too?
Sebastian: Then it would be me.
Antonio: Then Ferdinand must be dead. And if he isn’t already, it will have to be arranged.
Sebastian: I don’t know. I’m not a very violent type.
Antonio: Oh, we won’t do it. I’m sure we can find someone else.
(Enter Caliban, Stefano and Trinculo)
Antonio: Stand back. I spy ruffians.
Sebastian: The roughest of ruffians.
Caliban: I spy noblemen.
Stefano: Is this that Prospero we’re supposed to be duffing up?
Trinculo: If it is, then you must be the lovely Miranda. (He approaches a horrified Sebastian,
considers him for a moment, then turns back to Caliban) I think there’s something wrong with
your eyesight, mate.
Antonio: Prospero? You say Prospero is here? He is my brother.
Caliban: He treated me cruelly.

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Antonio: He would do. He’s like that.
Trinculo: We’re on a mission to fix him.
Antonio: Brilliant idea. If you’re really keen on sorting out a toff, you could help us.
Sebastian: Yes, a Prince Ferdinand.
Antonio: Who is even more cruel than Prospero.
Stefano: Count us in.
Trinculo: But only if there’s some rum in it.
Antonio: I’m sure it can be arranged.
(Exit all)
(Enter Prospero and Miranda)
Miranda: How are your tricks working out?
Prospero: Wonderfully. Everyone who came upon this island by my design is well and truly
lost. I could have them wandering around hopelessly for years.
Miranda: And then?
Prospero: I may put a spell on them but I haven’t decided yet.
Miranda: Are they all lost?
Prospero: All except one.
(Enter Ferdinand)
Prospero: It’s all right. He cannot see us.
Miranda: It’s Prince Ferdinand. I quite liked the look of him.
Prospero: And he likes the look of you.
Miranda: How do you know?
Prospero: Am I not a magician?
(Ferdinand suddenly notices Miranda)
Ferdinand: What is this vision of beauty?
Miranda: It’s me, Miranda. You must remember. Miranda from Milan. It is wonderful to see
that you were not lost in that terrible storm, Prince Ferdinand.
Ferdinand: Actually, it looks like I am King Ferdinand now.
Miranda: It gets even better. Will you marry me?
Ferdinand: Aren’t I supposed to ask you?
Miranda: I’ve never had much patience. The answer is ‘yes’. Father, father, meet your new
son-in-law.
Prospero: A fine choice, even if I say so myself. You will make a wonderful King and Queen of
Naples and, if my plan has worked, I may return as Duke of Milan.
Miranda: Daddy, can we get the wedding sorted out before the spell wears off?
Prospero: Good idea.
(Enter Ariel.)
Ariel: Lord Prospero, Lord Prospero, I have news for you.
Prospero: Not now. I have a job for you.
Ariel: But it is a warning. A very grave warning. Prince Ferdinand here is in serious danger.
Miranda: Nonsense. Marrying me won’t be that bad.
Ariel: No, it is that… In a manner of means…
Prospero: Too late. I want you to marry these two.
Ariel: Wouldn’t that be bigamy?
Prospero: No, I want you to marry them to each other, not to you. As if.
Ariel: I’m not sure I’m allowed.
Prospero: Yes, you are. It’s my island now. You’re appointed. Get on with it. You know the
score. Any objections, speak up now.
(Enter Caliban.)
Caliban: Stop!
Prospero: Who says stop?
Caliban: I do. Stop!
Prospero: Caliban? You say stop?
Caliban: I say stop.
Miranda: You don’t need to encourage him, father.

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Caliban: I am here overthrow you and take control of the island.
Miranda: You and whose army?
Caliban: Mine. I am the leader of a great army now.
Prospero: I don’t see them. Where would they be?
Caliban: On their way here. I think.
(Enter Trinculo and Stefano, singing, then staggering to a standstill.)
Prospero: They’re drunk.
Miranda: They’re having to hold each other up!
Caliban: They are a unified fighting force. This is called close order drill. I got that from a
book. It was a mistake teaching me to read.
Stefano: Right, Lord Caliban, who is it that we are slaughtering?
(Ferdinand retreats behind Miranda.)
Trinculo: These three, is it?
Prospero: Not fair Miranda.
Miranda: Not Prince Ferdinand either.
Caliban: Oh, he’s got to go. You don’t want him marrying your daughter. His dad helped your
brother chuck you out of Milan.
Miranda: But he is not like his father and certainly nothing like Uncle Antonio. He’s lovely.
Caliban: You must be a magician if you can make her think that.
Prospero: Excuse me, how do you know about his father, King Alonso?
Caliban: Intelligence sources.
Stefano: Undercover.
Trinculo: Secret Service.
Prospero: So secret that it doesn’t exist at all?
Miranda: You can’t murder Ferdinand. You would have no King of Naples then. You can’t
have a kingdom without a king. That would be silly. And if you didn’t have a king, you couldn’t
have a queen, and that’s me. Or it will be in a moment or two when Ariel has pronounced us man
and wife. So, if you’d just step to one side and let us get on with it…
Caliban: Have you finished?
Miranda: Yes.
Caliban: Good. Kill them all. I’ve gone off her.
Prospero: Stop!
Miranda: You tell them, Daddy. Use one of your magic spells on them or hit them with your
staff. Turn them into hideously ugly creatures. (Looking at Caliban) Well, there wouldn’t be
much point with him.
Caliban: Ignore her.
Trinculo: Right, say goodnight.
Prospero: Stay back. I will cast a spell on you.
Stefano: We don’t believe in that sort of nonsense.
Prospero: Your feet are still.
Trinculo: Yes, our feet are still attached to our legs.
Prospero: But they don’t move.
Caliban: Yes, they do. Watch them. Onward, brave army. Onward.
(Trinculo and Stefano sway about as if anchored to the ground.)
Trinculo: We cannot move.
Stefano: Our feet are still.
Trinculo: It must be the drink.
Stefano: If it was drink we’d fall over.
Prospero: I can do that one too.
(Prospero snaps his fingers and Trinculo and Stefano collapse, groaning.)
Miranda: Oh, clever daddy.
Prospero: I know who put you up to this.
Caliban: All my own idea, mostly.
Ariel: Assuming your father has perished, who would profit from your death?
Ferdinand: My Uncle Sebastian. He would become King.

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(Ariel turns to Prospero)
Ariel: And he is a great friend of your brother, Antonio, Duke of Milan. You used to be
Duke of Milan, remember? I was about to warn you but you turned me into a priest.
Prospero: Well, you are hereby no longer a priest but part of my army. In fact you are my army.
Well done. Go and capture them.
Ariel: Who?
Prospero: My enemies. (He points to Ferdinand) His enemies as well.
Ferdinand: Same thing, apparently.
Miranda: My brave Ferdinand will stand at the head of the army.
Ferdinand: No, best to leave that to whatever he’s called. I shall protect you.
Miranda: From behind me?
Ferdinand: They may creep up on you. And shout ‘boo!’ and that would distress you. And that
would upset me terribly.
Prospero: Very well. Ariel, twinkle away. I will cast a spell which will keep you safe and
render them helpless. They will not resist. Unlike these two, their legs will work so that you can
escort them here.
Miranda: You heard him. Off you go.
(Exit Ariel)
Caliban: How can you prefer him to me?
Miranda: Apart from looks?
Ferdinand: And intelligence and bravery?
Miranda: Apart from looks? Is there any chance of you ever becoming King of Naples?
Caliban: I’ve more chance than he has when they catch up with him.
Miranda: Can you put a spell on him, like them?
Prospero: I am afraid that one only works on those who are ‘with drink’. He does not need
alcohol to be brainless.
Stefano: Is there any chance of you releasing us from the spell?
Prospero: No.
Trinculo: Would you like more time to think about it?
Prospero: No.
Miranda: Father. Ariel returns with his prisoners.
(Enter Ariel, tied up. He is escorted by Antonio and Sebastian.)
Prospero: Ah, Ariel, I see that you have them subdued. After a fashion.
Ariel: I told them that you had cast a spell on them but they didn’t believe me.
Antonio: Is this fool the best that you can do?
Miranda: Our fool is better than your fools.
Antonio: Nonsense. Our fools are far superior.
Sebastian: I am sorry, Ferdinand, but Antonio here has persuaded me that I would make a good
King of Naples, and for that to happen… Well, sorry.
Antonio: And I should have killed you, Prospero, when I had the chance.
Sebastian: Advance, army of fools.
Ferdinand: Would that be this army of fools, Uncle Sebastian?
Prospero: All that magic practice that you scoffed at was worthwhile after all. Some of my
spells do work. If you would care to wait a moment I’m sure I can find one for you.
Antonio: We would not care to wait. We will do the job ourselves.
(Antonio and Sebastian advance.)
Alonso: (from offstage) : Stop! There will be no slaughter.
Antonio: Who tells me what to do? I am a duke, the Duke of Milan.
(Enter Alonso with Gonzalo.)
Alonso: And I am a king. Alonso, King of Naples.
Ferdinand: You’re not dead after all.
Alonso: No, I’m not, so you’re still only a prince.
Miranda: Oh, only a prince? Well, I may reconsider.
Antonio: But Alonso, you’re on my side. You helped me overthrow Prospero.

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Alonso: Because you lied to me. Gonzalo knew all along. I found him resting on the path
back there. He told me the truth. Prospero is not a dangerous lunatic. A little odd but not
dangerous. I was wrong. Prospero, forgive me. You will make a fine Duke of Milan – again. I
and my army will support you.
Prospero: You are forgiven, King Alonso.
Alonso: Now, what is to be done with these two?
Antonio: Nothing hasty. We are all family, after all. Sort of.
Alonso: And you are a pair of scoundrels. You should both be slaughtered. Younger brothers
are always a nuisance. What say you, Duke Prospero?
Prospero: No, I shall grant them mercy. We will all return to Milan, where this marriage can be
carried out properly.
Ferdinand: Thus uniting Naples and Milan. You will be a princess of two great households.
Miranda: It’s not quite as good as being queen, is it? But it will do to be going on with.
Stefano: What about us two?
Prospero: Can you crew a ship? There should be one out there that has only run aground. It will
still be sailable.
Trinculo: We would be happy to assist in any way we could, if you would only grant us the use
of our legs.
Prospero: Very well, you are freed. Go and prepare the ship. (To Antonio and Stefano) You
two can help. But no tricks, otherwise I might turn my magic on you. Would you care to be a pair
of cockroaches?
Antonio: Not greatly.
Stefano: He can do that kind of thing.
Trinculo: He has the power.
Alonso: Off you go. Gonzalo will escort you, and I’ll be right behind you.
(Exit Stefano, Trinculo, Sebastian, Antonio and Gonzalo)
Alonso: Come along, Ferdinand. There shall be a great wedding. I am not sure what the dear
girl sees in you but your mother will be very pleased. She will be able to buy a big hat. We shall
prepare for the voyage. Do not tarry, Duke Prospero, you would not want to be left on this island.
Prospero: We shall be with you presently.
(Exit Alonso and Ferdinand)
Miranda: Father, what will happen to Sebastian and Uncle Antonio?
Prospero: They will behave themselves, or I will cast a spell on them.
Miranda: Would you?
Prospero: No, I don’t think so. I will have no time for magic once I am back in Milan. I will no
longer be using my magic powers but they won’t know that. In fact I am giving up magic
altogether. No more spells, no more sorcery, no more hocus pocus. More harm than good comes of
it. See my book? I tear it up. (He tears the book up and scatters the pages about the stage.)
And I break my magic staff. (He breaks the staff and throws down the pieces) Cast away, just
as we were. And now our voyage awaits.
(Exit Prospero and Miranda.)
Ariel: Any chance of you untying me?
Caliban: Why not? (He releases Ariel.) I notice we didn’t get no invite to no fancy wedding.
Ariel: They didn’t even ask us to go on the ship with them.
Caliban: Maybe they don’t need no spirits.
Ariel: They certainly won’t need whatever you are.
Caliban: Do you believe in magic?
(Ariel picks up a torn sheet from Prospero’s spell book and tries to read it.)
Ariel: No.
Caliban: Me neither.
(Enter Sycorax)
Sycorax: Have they all gone? Good. Now we have the island to ourselves again. And I have
lots of jobs – for the pair of you. (Exit)
(There is a long, thoughtful pause.)
Ariel: On the other hand, there might be something in here about making people disappear.

© 2011 by Geoff Bamber Page 15 www.lazybeescripts.co.uk

(Ariel and Caliban scramble about gathering together bits of Prospero’s spell book and magic
staff.)
(Curtain.)

© 2011 by Geoff Bamber Page 16 www.lazybeescripts.co.uk

Production Notes
A play originally written by William Shakespeare and completely altered by Geoff Bamber. Any
similarity between this work and The First or any subsequent Folio is entirely coincidental.
(Run-time 35-40 minutes)

Settings
Act 1 takes place at the Court of the Duke of Milan. If desired a chair/throne might be provided for
Prospero.
Acts 2,3 and 4 take place on The Island, onto which various items of flotsam and jetsam have been
washed.

Props
Act One
Exercise Book (Prospero’s book of spells) *

Act Two
Ship’s trunk (Miranda)
Magic staff (In Trunk for Prospero)*
Magician hat (In Trunk for Prospero)
Various items of shipwreck debris including cloak for Caliban to hide under. (Set Onstage)
Poetry book (Caliban)

Act Three
Telescope (Prospero)
Bottles of rum (Trinculo and Stefano)

Act Four
Length of rope (Tying up Ariel)

(*Several needed as they are destroyed during course of play.)

Sound/Lighting Effects
Storm at sea, ship crashing onto rocks etc.

© 2011 by Geoff Bamber Page 17 www.lazybeescripts.co.uk