THOMAS KILMANN CONFLICT MODE INSTRUMENT

By Kenneth L. Thomas and Ralph H. Kilman

INSTRUCTIONS

Consider situations in which you find your wishes differing from those of another person. How do you
usually respond to such situations?

Below are several pairs of statements describing possible behavioural responses. For each pair,
please circle the “A” or “B” statement which is most characteristic of your own behaviour.

In many cases, neither the “A” nor the “B” statement may be very typical of your behaviour, but
please select the response which you would be more likely to use.

1. A There are times when I let others take responsibility for solving the problem.

B Rather than negotiate the things on which we disagree, I try to stress the things upon
which we both agree.

2. A I try to find a compromise situation.

B I attempt to deal with all of his and my concerns.

3. A I am usually firm in pursuing my goals.

B I might try to soothe the other’s feelings and preserve our relationship.

4. A I try to find a compromise solution.

B I sometimes sacrifice my own wishes for the wishes of the other person.

5. A I consistently seek the other’s help in working out a solution.

B I try to do what is necessary to avoid useless tensions.

6. A I try to avoid creating unpleasantness for myself.

B I try to win my position.

7. A I try to postpone the issue until I have had some time to think it over.

B I give up some points in exchange for others.

8. A I am usually firm in pursuing my goals.

B I attempt to get all concerns and issues immediately out in the open.
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9. A I feel that differences are not always worth worrying about.

B I make some effort to get my way.

10. A I am firm in pursuing my goals.

B I try to find a compromise solution.

11. A I attempt to get all concerns and issues immediately out in the open.

B I might try to soothe the other’s feelings and preserve our relationship.

12. A I sometimes avoid taking positions which would create controversy.

B I will let him have some of his positions if he lets me have some of mine.

13. A I propose a middle ground.

B I press to get my points made.

14. A I tell him my ideas and ask him for his.

B I try to show him the logic and benefits of my position.

15. A I might try to soothe the other’s feelings and preserve our relationship.

B I try to do what is necessary to avoid tensions.

16. A I try not to hurt the other’s feelings.

B I try to convince the other person of the merits of my position.

17. A I am usually firm in pursuing my goals.

B I will let him have some of his positions if he lets me have some of mine.

18. A If it makes the other person happy, I might let him maintain his views.

B I will let him have some of his positions if he lets me have some of mine.

19. A I attempt to get all concerns and issues immediately out in the open.

B I try to postpone the issue until I have had some time to think it over.

20. A I attempt to immediately work through our differences.

B I try to find a fair combination of gains and losses.

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21 A In approaching negotiations, I try to be considerate of the other person’s wishes.

B I always lean toward a direct discussion of the problem.

22. A I try to find a position that is intermediate between his and mine.

B I assert my wishes.

23. A I am very often concerned with satisfying all our wishes.

B There are times when I let others take responsibility for solving the problem.

24. A If the other’s position seems very important to him, I would try to meet his wishes.

B I try to get him to settle for a compromise.

25. A I try to show him the logic and benefits of my position.

B In approaching negotiations, I try to be considerate of the other person’s wishes.

26. A I propose a middle ground.

B I am nearly always concerned with satisfying all our wishes.

27. A I sometimes avoid taking positions that would create controversy.

B If it makes the other person happy, I might let him maintain his views.

28. A I am usually firm in pursuing my goals.

B I usually seek the other’s help in working out a solution.

29. A I propose a middle ground.

B I feel that differences are not always worth worrying about.

30. A I try not to hurt the other’s feelings.

B I always share the problem with the other person so that we can work it out.

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SCORING

Circle the letters below which correspond to the letter you circled on each item of the questionnaire
and then total the number of items circled in each column.

Competing Collaborating Compromising Avoiding Accommodating

(forcing) (problem (sharing) (withdrawal) (soothing)
solving)
1. - - - A B
2. - B A - -
3. A - - - B
4. - - A - B
5. - A - B -
6. B - - A -
7. - - B A -
8. A B - - -
9. B - - A -
10. A - B - -
11. - A - - B
12. - - B A -
13. B - A - -
14. B A - - -
15. - - - B A
16. B - - - A
17. A - - B -
18. - - B - A
19. - A - B -
20. - A B - -
21. - B - - A
22. B - A B -
23. - A - B -
24. - - B - A
25. A - - - B
26. - B A - -
27. - - - A B
28. A B - - -
29. - - A B -
30. - B - - A

_______ _______ _______ _______ _______

Competing Collaborating Compromising Avoiding Accommodating

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Interpreting Your Scores

Usually after getting back the results of any test people firstly want to ask, “What are the right answers?” In the
case of conflict-handling behaviour there are no universal right answers. All five modes are useful in some
situations; each represents a set of useful social skills. Our conventional wisdom recognises, for example, that
often “two heads are better than one” (Collaborating), but it also says, “Kill your enemies with kindness”
(Accommodating), “Split the difference” (Compromising), “Leave well enough alone” (Avoiding), or “Might
makes right” (Competing). The effectiveness of a given conflict-handling mode depends upon the
requirements of the specific conflict situation and the skill with which the mode is used.

Each of us is capable of using all five conflict-handling modes. None of us can be characterised as having a
single rigid style of dealing with conflict, however, any given individual uses some modes better than others
and therefore tends to rely upon those modes more heavily than others, whether because of temperament or
practice.

The conflict behaviours which an individual uses are therefore a result of both his personal predispositions and
the requirements of the situation in which he finds himself. The Thomas-Kilman Conflict Mode Instrument is
designed to assess this mix of conflict-handling modes.

Conflict situations provide an opportunity for us to make clear decisions about what behaviours to adopt. Many
of us will have a preferred approach based on behaviours that have been successful for us in the past,
however, understanding the different conflict management approaches available, and knowing when to use
them, may help us produce a better outcome to many conflict situations.

Competing
People who choose a competing approach put their interests ahead of anyone else’s interest. They are always
out to win, do not believe there can be any middle ground and view conflicts as “I win – you lose” situations.
Using this approach discounts the feelings of others and can ruin relationships.

Collaborating
People who use a collaborative approach look for a winning solution for all parties involved. They define the
issues carefully, work through the situation and implement agreed actions. This strategy encourages
teamwork and cooperation within a group. Collaboration does not establish winners and losers; it does not
gain power over others. The use of this approach creates opportunities for experimentation and innovation
too: “Ok, I see what you mean. Let’s try your way first and then we’ll try mine and compare results. Whichever
works best is the one we’ll choose.”

Compromising
People who choose to compromise are willing to satisfy a part of their interests and are willing to be flexible.
They are likely to say “let’s split the difference” or “something is better than nothing”. Compromise is mutual for
all parties. All parties should receive something and all parties will need to give up something.

Avoiding
Some people choose to avoid conflict by postponing it, hiding their feelings, changing the subject, leaving the
room or quitting the project. They might say “leave me out of it – you decide” or they may act as though the
conflict does not exist.

Accommodating
People who choose accommodating put their own interests last and let others have what they want. Often
they will sacrifice all of their own goals for the sake of the relationship between themselves and the other
parties.

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Competing Approach:

Advantages Disadvantages
Can be effective in situations where quick Could close down the possibility of
decisions and action is vital, eg. in an emergency constructive discussion/debate
Can be effective where unpopular courses of This approach means that the other party
action need implementing, eg. enforcing may have little commitment to the proposed
unpopular rules solution
Can be useful for settling issues vital to Can be damaging to relationships, especially
staff/visitors when you’re right, eg. H&S issues long-term. Can reduce co-operation
Can be used to protect yourself against ‘difficult
to deal with’ competitive people who take
advantage of non-competitive behaviour

If you scored high:

 Are you surrounded by “yes” men? If so, perhaps it’s because they have learned that it’s
unwise to disagree with you, or have given up trying to influence you. This closes you off from
information.

 Are your team afraid to admit ignorance and uncertainties to you? In competitive climates, one
must fight for influence and respect which means acting more certain and confident than one
feels. The upshot is that people are less able to ask for information and opinion; they are less
able to learn.

If you scored low:

 Do you often feel powerless in situations? It may be because you are unaware of the power
you do have, unskilled in its use or uncomfortable with the idea of using it. This may hinder
your effectiveness by restricting your influence.

 Do you have trouble taking a firm stand, even when you see the need? Sometimes concerns
for others’ feelings or anxieties about the use of power causes us to waver, which may mean
postponing the decision and adding to the suffering and/or resentment of others.

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Collaborating Approach:

Advantages Disadvantages

There is more chance of finding a solution which May take a long time to resolve the conflict
all parties own and requires lots of patience and effort
Uses different perspectives on a problem to There needs to be a potential solution to the
generate more insights and greater conflict otherwise there might simply be lots
understanding of discussion and no solution
Increases commitment to a solution by Can be difficult to use in very emotional
incorporating others’ concerns conflicts
Can increase trust, improve communication and Can be a difficult approach where there is
hence build better relationships little trust, respect or communication
between the parties
Provides an opportunity to learn by testing your
own assumptions and building an understanding
of others’ views
Sets a good example for others to model

If you scored high:

 Do you spend time discussing issues in depth that do not seem to deserve it? Collaboration
takes time and energy which are perhaps the scarcest organisational resources. Trivial
problems don’t require optimal solutions and not all personal differences need to be hashed
out. The overuse of collaboration and consensual decision-making sometimes represents a
desire to minimize risk by diffusing responsibility for a decision or by postponing action.

 Does your collaborative behaviour fail to collaborative responses from others? The exploratory
and tentative nature of some collaborative behaviour may make it easy for others to disregard
collaborative overtures or the trust and openness may be taken advantage of. You may be
missing some cues which would indicate the presence of defensiveness, strong feelings,
impatience, competitiveness, or conflicting interests.

If you scored low:

 Is it hard for you to see differences as opportunities for joint gain; as opportunities to learn or
solve problems? Although there are often threatening or unproductive aspects of conflict,
indiscriminate pessimism can prevent you from seeing collaborative possibilities and thus
deprive you of the mutual gains and satisfactions which accompany successful collaboration.

 Are your team uncommitted to your decisions or policies? Perhaps their own concerns are not
being incorporated into those decisions or policies.

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Compromising Approach:

Advantages Disadvantages
Avoids the effort or potential disruption of more Does not work well with parties that are
assertive modes unequally matched
Helps avoid a stalemate and allows a resolution Where the solution is only half the desired
when two parties of equal power are strongly outcome, the commitment to it may only be
committed to mutually exclusive goals half as well
Can help to achieve temporary settlements Does not work well if the parties are not willing
to be flexible in their demands
Enables solutions to be found when there are
time pressures that all parties can live with
Can be used as a back-up when collaboration
or competition fails

If you scored high:

 Do you concentrate so heavily upon the practicalities and tactics of compromise that you
sometimes lose sight of larger issues (eg. principles, values, long-term objectives)?

 Does an emphasis on bargaining and trading create a cynical climate of gamesmanship?

If you scored low:

 Do you find yourself too sensitive or embarrassed to be effective in bargaining situations?

 Do you find it hard to make concessions? Without this safety value you may have trouble
getting gracefully out of mutually destructive arguments, power struggles, etc.

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Avoiding Approach:

Advantages Disadvantages
A useful approach for dealing with trivial issues Makes it almost impossible to know what the
or when you have more important issues to deal other party is thinking so this approach
with doesn’t support relationships because there
is no communication
Can be used if you believe you have no chance May generate long-term hostility or a belief
of satisfying your concerns that you are a ‘soft touch’
Useful when the potential damage from If you over-use this approach, you may find
confronting the conflict outweighs the benefits of your self-respect/self-esteem suffers
its resolutions
Can reduce tensions and enable both parties to The underlying issue may drag on for a long
regain perspective and composure time
Can be useful where the need to obtain more There is no opportunity to resolve the conflict
information outweighs the advantages of an if all parties do not address it
immediate decision
Allows others to step in who can resolve the
conflict more effectively

If you scored high:

 Does your coordination suffer because people have trouble getting your inputs on issues?

 Does it often appear that people are “walking on eggshells?” Sometimes a dysfunctional
amount of energy can be devoted to caution and the avoiding of issues, indicating that issues
need to be faced and resolved.

 Are decisions on important issues made by default?

If you scored low:

 Do you find yourself hurting people’s feelings or stirring up hostilities? You may need to
exercise more discretion in confronting issues or more tact in framing issues in non-threatening
ways. Tact is partially the art of avoiding potentially disruptive aspects of an issue.

 Do you often feel bothered or overwhelmed by a number of issues? You may need to devote
more time to setting priorities, deciding which issues are relatively unimportant and perhaps
delegating them to others.

Accommodating Approach:
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 Advantages Disadvantages
If you realise that you are wrong, this approach You may be viewed as a ‘soft touch’ in using
shows others that you are reasonable this approach
Useful when the issue is much more important to Using this approach might affect your self-
the other person than to you esteem
Can help build alliances and favours to be called It can set the tone for any future conflict
in later when dealing with issues that are resolution so you might be expected to adopt
important to you this style again
Helpful for satisfying an immediate need by
emphasising the things the parties have in
common and takes the focus off the differences
Preserves harmony and avoids disruption in
situations when this is more important than other
goals

If you scored high:

 Do you feel that your own ideas and concerns are not getting the attention they deserve?
Deferring too much to the concerns of others can deprive you of influence, respect and
recognition. It also deprives the organisation of your potential contributions.

 Is discipline lax? Although discipline for its own sake may be of little value, there are often
rules, procedures and assignments whose implementation is crucial for you or the
organisation.

If you scored low:

 Do you have trouble building goodwill with others? Accommodating on minor issues which are
important to others are gestures of goodwill.

 Do others often seem to regard you as unreasonable?

 Do you have trouble admitting when you are wrong?

 Do you recognise legitimate exceptions to rules?

 Do you know when to give up?

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