A Course Guide for:

SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive

Relationships (SNPR)

2020
 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive
Relationships (SNPR)
This course guide is designed to be used with the online course. Throughout the guide, you will
complete activities and fill in information from the course.

Table of Contents

Module 1: Relationship Dynamics in Early Learning Environments  3

Module 2: How Relationships Influence Behavior  19

Module 3: Fostering Positive Relationships  41

To access the course resources, scan the QR code or visit the following link:
https://ga-decal.org/courseResources/#SNPR

Copyright 2020, Georgia Department of Early Care and Learning (DECAL)

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Module 1: Relationship Dynamics in Early Learning

Environments
Overview
This module will provide an overview of the Pyramid Model for Supporting Social Emotional
Competence in Infants and Young Children (i.e., the Pyramid Model) and the Georgia Early
Learning and Development Standards (GELDS) as they pertain to three- and four-year-olds. It
will describe the three primary relationships that exist in early learning environments and relate
indicators that these connections are safe, secure, responsive, and nurturing.

Module Goal
Participants will cite examples of how to use the Pyramid Model for Supporting Social Emotional
Competence in Infants and Young Children and the Georgia Early Learning and Development
Standards. They will also list the hallmarks of healthy, positive relationships in quality early
learning environments.

Learning Objectives
After successfully completing this module you will be able to:
• Explore the dynamics of relationship building in preschool

Healthy, positive
relationships are safe,
secure, responsive,
and nurturing, and
relationships like these
are critical to children’s
growth, development,
and learning.

Module 1: Relationship Dynamics in Early Learning Environments | 3

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Introduction of Key Concepts and Documents

Creating safe, secure, responsive, and nurturing relationships is one of the
hallmarks of quality early learning environments. With these experiences, deeper
learning will take place. When children do not have positive, healthy relationships,
learning becomes more difficult. This course explores the dynamics of relationship
building in preschool, analyzes how positive relationships with children and
families affect positive behavior, and provides strategies for fostering reassuring
relationships.

In this training, the importance of building relationships with children, families, and
colleagues will be discussed. Participants will reflect on their current practice and
develop a plan for intentionally strengthening these relationships. The course also
explores the link between social-emotional competence and challenging behavior,
and explains how relationships impact children’s behavior and developing sense
of self.

Key Takeaway: Safe, secure, responsive, and

nurturing relationships allow deeper learning to
take place and reduce challenging behaviors.

Module 1: Relationship Dynamics in Early Learning Environments | 4

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

DECAL and SEEDS

Nurturing Positive Relationships is one of the eight modules in a series developed
by the Georgia Department of Early Care and Learning (DECAL) and Georgia’s
Social Emotional Early Development Strategies (SEEDS) for Success. DECAL
is responsible for meeting the child care and early education needs of Georgia’s
children and their families. SEEDS is a collaborative effort lead by DECAL. It
supports and aligns the state’s initiatives related to increased social-emotional
development and decreased challenging behaviors in early childhood settings.

SEEDS’ vision for the initiative is “for all young children in Georgia to have
strong social-emotional foundations for lifelong learning and enhanced academic
success that are strengthened through a network of professionals, families,
and community members.” They believe the profession must work together to
ensure all young children in Georgia have strong emotional foundations of lifelong
learning.

It is important to recognize that:

• 10–30% of preschoolers are not behaviorally and emotionally ready to be
successful in school
• Early problem behavior is predictive of future challenges
• Early educators feel unprepared to address challenging behavior

Module 1: Relationship Dynamics in Early Learning Environments | 5

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Georgia’s MTSS and State Educational Standards

This initial training in the Pyramid Model series provides an in-depth overview of
the Pyramid Model for Supporting Social Emotional Competence in Infants and
Young Children. The Pyramid Model is one of the foundations for Georgia’s multi-
tiered system of supports (MTSS), which specifically supports children’s social
emotional development through teaching practices that prevent and address
challenging behaviors.

It also introduces the Georgia Early Learning and Development Standards as

they pertain to three- and four-year-olds. The GELDS provides skills acquisition
and educational standards for children from birth through 60 months. This course
will show how the Pyramid Model for Supporting Social Emotional Competence
in Infants and Young Children and Georgia Early Learning and Development
Standards are powerful tools in understanding and meeting young children’s
social and emotional needs, both of which drive behavior.

Module 1: Relationship Dynamics in Early Learning Environments | 6

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

The Pyramid Model for Supporting Social Emotional

Competence in Infants and Young Children
The Pyramid Model for Supporting Social Emotional Competence in Infants
and Young Children (i.e., the Pyramid Model) is a framework of practices that
promotes the development of young children’s social and emotional competence
and effectively addresses challenging behaviors. Each of the three tiers in the
Pyramid Model provides an increasing level of support, beginning with promoting
positive social and emotional competence for all children, preventing challenging
behaviors with targeted supports for some children, and providing intensive
intervention for a few children.

The first tier focuses on promotion. These practices are universally good for all
children and promote their developing social-emotional competence.

The second tier focuses on prevention. It employs targeted social-emotional

supports and involves the intentional and direct instruction of social skills and
emotional regulation for all children to prevent challenging behaviors.

The top tier focuses on intervention. It reflects practices designed for the few
children that may need intensive intervention to address persistent challenging
behavior that occurs despite the implementation of Tiers 1 and 2 of the Pyramid
with consistency.

The Pyramid rests on the foundation of an effective workforce. This course

is going to focus on the first part of Tier 1, which is all about nurturing and
responsive relationships.

Key Takeaway: The Pyramid Model for

Supporting Social Emotional Competence in
Infants and Young Children (i.e., the Pyramid
Model) promotes the development of young
children’s social and emotional competence and
effectively addresses challenging behaviors.

Module 1: Relationship Dynamics in Early Learning Environments | 7

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Support for Providers

Program providers who have questions about a child’s challenging behavior or
ways to support the social emotional development of all children can contact
the Inclusion and Behavioral Support Unit at DECAL for support and guidance
Their website offers contact information as well as many helpful resources and
documents to support providers in their efforts to include children of all abilities in
their early care and learning programs.

2019. “Inclusion Services Home.” Georgia Department of Early Care and Learning. 2019. http://
decal.ga.gov/InstructionalSupports/InclusionServices.aspx.

Providers should consider implementing a multi=tiered system of support like the

Pyramid Model within their program to help all children be socially and emotionally
prepared for school. Promotion, prevention and intervention strategies should
be implemented to support each child’s success before considering exclusionary
practices such as suspension and expulsion. Suspension and expulsion in
preschool programs should be rare, due to the harm it does to children and their
families. Remember: An effective multi-tier system of supports includes the child,
family, and teacher. Building supports at every level is beneficial to the child’s
success. The Pyramid Model framework works to “help early childhood programs
implement and sustain the use of evidence-based approaches that support the
learning and engagement of ALL children.”

“Pyramid Model Consortium Home.” 2016. Pyramid Model Consortium. 2016. https://www.
pyramidmodel.org/.

Module 1: Relationship Dynamics in Early Learning Environments | 8

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Activity: Use the Pyramid Model

Every teacher can, and should, implement the Pyramid Model into their routine
work, with the understanding that Tier 3 interventions are conducted by multi-
disciplinary teams that include the child’s family, teachers, administrators, and any
other important people in the child’s life. Select an answer for each question.

1. Which of these is an example of a Tier 1 support?

a. Teachers model friendly, helpful behavior.
b. A child who bites is told, “Biting hurts! Now your friend is crying!”
c. A team works to determine the cause of a challenging behavior.

2. Which of these is an example of a Tier 2 support?

a. Children are taught table manners.
b. A child is encouraged to use their words to express their emotions.
c. A team works to implement supports to address a challenging behavior.

3. Which of these is an example of a Tier 3 support?

a. Children often hear teachers say, “Be kind.”
b. A child who looks angry is asked, “You look mad. Why are you angry?”
c. A team works to assess whether a behavior plan is working.

Module 1: Relationship Dynamics in Early Learning Environments | 9

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

The Georgia Early Learning and Development Standards

Georgia’s standards for three- and four-year-olds are part of the Georgia Early
Learning and Development Standards (GELDS). The GELDS is intended to guide
teachers, parents, and all practitioners in the intentional integration of skills and
concepts children need to make progress in all learning areas. The standards it
contains list skills that children are learning, not skills they have achieved.

Key Takeaway: The Georgia Early Learning and

Development Standards (GELDS) lists skills that
children are learning and should be used to
develop all lesson plans.

Module 1: Relationship Dynamics in Early Learning Environments | 10

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

The GELDS Codes

The GELDS is alphanumerically coded for ease of lesson planning. Each of the
five domains has a two- or three-letter acronym. For example, the indicator coded
SED4.3a is in the Social and Emotional Development domain.

Module 1: Relationship Dynamics in Early Learning Environments | 11

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Inventory of Practices
The Inventory of Practices for Promoting Social Emotional Competence is a tool
developed by The Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early
Learning (CSEFEL), a part of Vanderbilt University. According to CSEFEL, the
tool is “designed to be used by individuals and/or teams to identify training needs
and plan a course of action to address those needs related to four general areas:
(a) building positive relationships, (b) creating supportive environments, (c) social-
emotional teaching strategies, and (d) individualized intensive interventions.”

“Inventory of Practices for Promoting Children’s Social Emotional Competence.” n.d. Nashville,
TN: The Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning. http://csefel.
vanderbilt.edu/modules/module1/handout4.pdf

Early educators should complete this tool based on their own practices currently.
In other words, not what you want to do but what you actually do. When
completing the tool, individuals or teams select how frequently the skill or action
is done. Consistently means it is often done. Occasionally means that sometimes
this action is completed. Seldom means it is rarely or never done. Once all of the
skills are evaluated under an area, then decisions should be made about whether
the skill or indicator is an area for future training. It is a good idea to write notes
about how the skill is observed in your professional day or what evidence can you
provide that you have this skill. Once the inventory is complete, the information
should be used to create a professional action plan to guide what activities an
individual will do to grow professionally.

Module 1: Relationship Dynamics in Early Learning Environments | 12

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Activity: Inventory of Practices

Review the Inventory of Practices for Promoting Children’s Social Emotional
Competence. Study the Skills and Indicators column in this survey and rate
whether you implement these consistently, occasionally, or seldomly within your
classroom or program. Near the end of the course, you will have an opportunity
to reconsider the questions, write strategies for addressing areas of improvement,
and determine the supports and resources you will need to reach your goals.

Module 1: Relationship Dynamics in Early Learning Environments | 13

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Activity: Professional Resources

Every professional has a library of online resources they consult on a regular
basis. This module contained several important resources for early learning
practitioners that should be bookmarked or saved in a document for quick access.
Read the statement and select the matching term.

Statement Term
Promotes young children’s social A. Inventory of Practices for
emotional competence and Promoting Children’s Social
effectively addresses challenging Emotional Competence
behaviors. B. Pyramid Model for Supporting
Guides teachers, parents, and Social Emotional Competence in
all practitioners in the intentional Infants and Young Children
integration of skills and concepts C. Georgia Early Learning and
into lesson planning. Development Standards
Used to identify training needs
and plan a course of action to
address those needs.

Module 1: Relationship Dynamics in Early Learning Environments | 14

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

The Hallmarks of Healthy, Positive Relationships (Safe,

Secure, Responsive, and Nurturing)
All relationships in an early learning environment should be healthy and positive.
Teachers, families, and children all thrive in these environments, which allow
deeper learning to take place. To illustrate this principle, examine a healthy,
positive relationship between a teacher and a child.

Healthy, positive teacher-child relationships are safe, secure, responsive, and

nurturing. It is imperative that a young child’s relationship with their teacher has all
these qualities.

• In safe teacher-child relationships, the child knows that harm is never

intended by the teacher. The child believes that the teacher is trustworthy,
and that intentional injury or maltreatment will not happen. In safe teacher-
child relationships, if unintentional harm occurs (e.g., hurt feelings), the
teacher apologizes to the child and offers immediate reconciliation.
• In healthy teacher-child relationships, the teacher actively supports the
child’s emotional well-being. The teacher helps the child identify and
handle emotions in ways that support the child’s healthy social-emotional
development and teaches them how to respond to others’ emotions in healthy
ways.
• In responsive teacher-child relationships, the teacher identifies the child’s
social and emotional needs and acts upon them. The teacher ensures
parents are kept abreast of their child’s social-emotional development.
In quality learning environments, teachers are culturally responsive,
which means they make sure learning experiences relate to children’s life
experiences.
• In nurturing teacher-child relationships, the teacher fosters the child’s feelings
of self-acceptance, as well as feelings of belonging and acceptance by
others. The teacher facilitates the development of friendships with a diverse
array of peers and teaches conflict resolution and problem-solving skills.

Every relationship in the early learning environment should be safe, secure,

responsive, and nurturing, as appropriate for each child, teacher, and parent.
This dynamic promotes social emotional development in children, reduces their
challenging behaviors, provides the foundation for their learning, and creates an
environment in which all thrive.

Key Takeaway: Healthy, positive relationships

are safe, secure, responsive, and nurturing, and
relationships like these are critical to children’s
growth, development, and learning.
Module 1: Relationship Dynamics in Early Learning Environments | 15
 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Food for Thought: Safe, Secure, Responsive,

and Nurturing
Through nurturing and responsive relationships, early learning professionals
can promote every child’s successful social-emotional development and greatly
reduce challenging behavior.

Take a moment to consider and answer each question.

• How do positive, healthy relationships correlate to positive, healthy behavior?

• How does healthy social-emotional development in early childhood influence

adult outcomes?

• How can teachers ensure their relationships with children are safe, secure,
responsive, and nurturing?

Module 1: Relationship Dynamics in Early Learning Environments | 16

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

The Last Word

Building healthy, positive relationships with children, their families, and colleagues
promotes development in children’s Social-Emotional Development domain,
reduces challenging behaviors, provides a foundation for learning, and helps to
create a quality learning environment. There are many professional tools that
assist practitioners in meeting the social and emotional needs of children and
providing developmentally appropriate instruction in this area.

Here are the Key Takeaways from Module 1: Relationship Dynamics in Early
Learning Environments:
• Safe, secure responsive, and nurturing relationships allow deeper learning to
take place and reduce challenging behaviors.

• The Pyramid Model for Supporting Social Emotional Competence in Infants

and Young Children (i.e., the Pyramid Model) promotes the development of
young children’s social and emotional competence and effectively addresses
challenging behaviors.

• The Georgia Early Learning and Development Standards (GELDS) lists skills
that children are learning and should be used to develop all lesson plans.

• Healthy, positive relationships are safe, secure, responsive, and nurturing,

and relationships like these are critical to children’s growth, development, and
learning.

Module 1: Relationship Dynamics in Early Learning Environments | 17

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Module 1 Conclusion
You have achieved this module’s learning objectives if you can:
• Explore the dynamics of relationship building in preschool

Module 1: Relationship Dynamics in Early Learning Environments | 18

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Module 2: How Relationships Influence Behavior

Overview
This module will show how child growth, development, and learning in the Social and Emotional
Development (SED) domain and other factors can influence children’s behavior, and how healthy,
positive relationships encourage positive behaviors and can reduce or prevent challenging ones.
re rules.

Module Goal
Participants will describe factors that can influence a child’s behavior and explain the impact
relationships have on both the SED domain and behavior.

Learning Objective
After successfully completing this module you will be able to:
• Analyze how positive relationships with children and families affect positive behavior

Children’s challenging
behaviors can be
reduced through safe,
secure, responsive, and
nurturing relationships
with parents and
teachers.

Module 2: How Relationships Influence Behavior | 19

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Introduction to Challenging Behaviors

Children with the most challenging behaviors need safe, secure, responsive, and
nurturing relationships the most, and often do not have them. The interactions
they share with adults are largely made up of negative interactions. All too often,
children are disciplined for behavior they do not have the skills or ability to control,
while their appropriate behavior goes unnoticed. Provided with the information in
this module, parents and teachers become important partners in changing this
process.

Through positive, healthy relationships with children and their parents, factors that
are influencing behaviors can be identified. Then parents and teachers can work
together to strengthen factors that are producing desired behaviors and develop
plans to address challenging ones. Examples of factors that can influence
behavior include:
• Age and stage of development
• Social or communication skill that has yet to be developed
• Past or present adverse childhood experiences

Key Takeaway: Children’s challenging behaviors

can be reduced through safe, secure, responsive,
and nurturing relationships with parents and
teachers.

Module 2: How Relationships Influence Behavior | 20

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Suspension and Expulsion

Suspension refers to a decision to tell a family not to bring a child to school for
a period; this may be during specific hours, or for an entire day, but sometimes
suspension can last as long as a week. Expulsion refers to the decision to deny
a child access to the program completely. These decisions can have long-term
and very negative impacts on a child’s social and emotional development, and on
relationships in and outside of the program.

Module 2: How Relationships Influence Behavior | 21

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Suspension and Expulsion Harms Children, Families, And

Communities
Consider these statements by the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services,
Administration for Children & Families’ webpage, “Understanding and Eliminating
Expulsion in Early Childhood Programs.” “During the first 5 years, young children
are learning how to identify and respond to strong emotions, play and get along
with other children, and respond to adults. Young children need adults who feel
prepared to teach these important social and emotional skills. They also need
adults who can respond to and help prevent challenging behavior.” They continue:

“A child expelled from preschool may:

• Miss out on chances to develop and practice the very skills they may most
need, including social and emotional skills.
• Develop ongoing behavior problems leading to later school difficulty.
• Develop negative views about learning, school, teachers, and the world
around them.”

“Understanding and Eliminating Expulsion in Early Childhood Programs.” 2019. ECLKC. U.S.
Department of Health & Human Services, Administration for Children & Families. April 4, 2019.
https://eclkc.ohs.acf.hhs.gov/publication/understanding-eliminating-expulsion-early-childhood-
programs.

Working families are hardest hit by both suspension and expulsion. The scramble
to find alternate care is stressful and, if unsuccessful, may result in a child left
at home and unsupervised. When that happens, the child and family are both
extremely vulnerable.

Module 2: How Relationships Influence Behavior | 22

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Food for Thought: Solving the Paradox

Children with persistent challenging behavior need positive, healthy relationships
the most, yet their behaviors often prevent them from obtaining and benefiting
from those relationships. The question is, why?

Take a moment to consider and answer each question.

• Why do teachers and parents allow a child’s challenging behaviors to interfere

with their development of a healthy relationship with that child?

• Why do children display challenging behaviors?

Module 2: How Relationships Influence Behavior | 23

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

The Function of Challenging Behaviors

All challenging behaviors serve a purpose for the child. Specialists in Positive
Behavioral Intervention and Support (PBIS) call this purpose a function. There
are some basic assumptions teachers can make about challenging behavior.

Challenging behavior sends a message. A child may be trying to say, “I am

bored,” “I am sad,” “You hurt my feelings,” “I need some attention,” “I am in pain,”
or “I do not feel well,” but lack the skills or ability to express those thoughts in
words.

Challenging behavior works for the child. When children use challenging
behaviors over time, it is because those behaviors are working for them and they
are achieving a desired result. A child may be trying to escape or avoid something
(e.g., telling a lie to escape punishment) or get something (e.g., tattling on a friend
to receive validation). Challenging behaviors may also be used to relieve anxiety,
tamp down fear, and ease sadness or worry.

Challenging behavior is a substitute for healthy social-emotional skills.

Challenging behavior can also occur when children haven’t learned the
appropriate social or emotional skills they need. The need to be intentional in
teaching these skills is a critical factor in addressing challenging behaviors.
Teachers can promote social and emotional competence by building a positive
relationship with the child and making sure the child sees positive relationships
between adults.

Key Takeaway: All challenging behaviors serve

a function (i.e., a purpose) for the child by
sending a message, achieving a desired result,
or substituting for a missing skill.

Module 2: How Relationships Influence Behavior | 24

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Challenging Behaviors Can Be Developmentally

Appropriate
Preschoolers bite, throw temper tantrums, and are defiant. They pout, whine,
and cry to get their way. They lie, boss other children around, and tattle on
their friends. They throw toys if they are provoked, abandon play sessions over
perceived slights, make unreasonable demands, and refuse to be calmed if those
are not met.

Behaviors such as these are challenging, to be sure, but they are also
developmentally appropriate for preschoolers. They must never be allowed
to interfere with the development of a healthy, positive relationship between
children and their teachers and parents. Teachers must have a ready supply of
best practices in mind to help children manage their emotions in healthy ways.
The teacher should be the parent’s trusted partner, supplying information and
resources that can help the parent address challenging behaviors at home.

Key Takeaway: All ages and stages of childhood

are associated with specific challenging
behaviors, and early childhood educators help
children learn to manage their emotions in
healthy ways.

Module 2: How Relationships Influence Behavior | 25

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Activity: Spotting Challenging Behavior Myths

Read the question and choose all the answers that apply.

Which of these is a challenging behavior myth? Identify all of statements that are
not true.

Ͻ Challenging behavior sends a message about unmet needs

Ͻ A child’s challenging behaviors are the parent’s fault

Ͻ A child’s challenging behaviors are their own fault

Ͻ Challenging behavior is a substitute for healthy social-emotional skills

Ͻ Children always outgrow their challenging behaviors

Ͻ Children who are loved by their parents do not display challenging behaviors

Ͻ Children with challenging behaviors have fewer positive relationships

Ͻ Good teaching and parenting skills can eliminate all challenging behaviors

Ͻ The more challenging the behavior, the more positive relationships are
needed

Ͻ A child’s challenging behaviors are the teacher’s fault

Ͻ The best way to handle a challenging behavior is to ignore it

Module 2: How Relationships Influence Behavior | 26

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Food for Thought: Challenging Behaviors Express

Unmet Needs
When supporting children with challenging behaviors, the goal is to meet needs,
build skills in the Social and Emotional Development (SED) domain, and foster
positive, healthy relationships between the child and other people.

Take a moment to consider and answer each question.

• A four-year-old tells his teacher, “He keeps taking my toys and I tell him please
stop and he won’t so I hit him.” What is the unmet need and how can it be
met?

• A three-year-old whose mother is on a weeklong trip sings a tuneless song

that goes, “I miss my mommy, she will be away seven days, seven days is a
whole week, seven days is a long time, I miss my mommy.” The song can go
on for several minutes and does not end until the child is in tears. The child
refuses to be consoled during these episodes, which happen at least twice a
day. What is the unmet need and how can it be met?

Module 2: How Relationships Influence Behavior | 27

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

The Tip of the Iceberg

Picture an iceberg and focus on the “tip of the iceberg,” or the part above the
water. Think how this might relate to challenging behavior. Think about the
challenging behavior as what is seen above the water, or the tip of the iceberg.
The tip represents the behaviors children use when they are not able to
experience, express, and regulate emotions; form close and secure interpersonal
relationships; and explore the environment and learn—all within the context of
family, community, and culture. The rest of the iceberg, which is not always seen
because it is hidden below the surface, represents potential needs that are not
being met and skills that need to be developed. Like the larger portion of the
iceberg that is under the surface, the meaning of challenging behavior is often
difficult to see and to understand.

When thinking about a child’s challenging behavior, some questions to consider at

the “tip of the iceberg” might be:
1. What is the “tip of the iceberg” behavior?
2. What social-emotional skill is needing support?
3. What might be going on for this child? (Think about possible unmet needs.)

Understanding the meaning of a behavior is critical in devising a strategy to

address the situation that produces the challenging behavior, and so efforts to
understand the meaning of a behavior are among the first steps in finding an
appropriate response to the child. All behavior has a purpose. For young children,
a challenging behavior is not a form of manipulation (i.e., a young child is not
purposefully behaving in a way that is meant to cause difficulty), but rather the
expression of an unmet need.

Key Takeaway: The first step in addressing

a challenging behavior is to determine the
meaning of the behavior (i.e., needs that are not
being met and skills that need to be developed),
and that can be hard.

Module 2: How Relationships Influence Behavior | 28

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Food for Thought: The Rest of the Iceberg

All children share basic, essential needs. For example, all children need
breathable air; nutritious food; clean, fresh drinking water; rest and sleep;
clothing suited for their climate; physical activity and movement; and shelter. After
these critical, existential needs are met, all children feel a need for belonging and
acceptance.

Take a moment to consider and answer each question.

• What do you think may be some of the essential social-emotional needs of

children?

• What do you think happens when the social-emotional needs of children are
not met?

Module 2: How Relationships Influence Behavior | 29

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

What Pushes Your Buttons?

Challenging behaviors affect individuals differently. One person may not have a
strong response to a whining child, but another is immediately angered by it. It is
as if a person has a “whining” button in their brain, and when a child pushes it,
anger is aroused. However, a teacher’s reactions to a child’s behavior can affect
their relationship with that child and with their family, and therefore impact the
ability to teach.

Key Takeaway: Reactions to children’s

challenging behaviors should be thought about
in advance, not in the moment, to ensure
professionalism.

Module 2: How Relationships Influence Behavior | 30

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Food for Thought: Hot Button Activity

Think more deeply about the challenging behaviors children display. Now, think
about yourself personally. What are some things that push your buttons? What
kinds of behaviors cause you to react strongly?

Take a moment to consider and answer each question.

• What behaviors “push your buttons” (i.e., what behaviors do you find most
challenging)?

• How do these behaviors make you feel?

• How might your feelings, if acted upon, impact your relationship with the child
and their family?

Module 2: How Relationships Influence Behavior | 31

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Positive Relationships Are the Key to Social and

Emotional Development
There are various benefits to nurturing teacher-child relationships. Children
become more engaged and interested. The frequency of challenging behaviors is
reduced, because children who have strong, positive relationships are less likely
to act out. Having positive relationships helps children communicate with adults
and peers and develops feelings of positive self-esteem. They help children feel
accepted by the group and encourage feelings of empathy and mutual respect.

When facing challenging behavior, it is all too easy to react in the moment and
respond to button-pushing behaviors or triggered emotions, rather than to the
child’s unmet needs. Reactions such as anger and frustration harm the teacher-
child relationship and make it easy to overlook a teachable moment in which
social-emotional development might have occurred in a child. Teachers cannot
allow this to happen. The stakes are too high.

Key Takeaway: The quality of children’s

relationships greatly influences their social-
emotional development.

Module 2: How Relationships Influence Behavior | 32

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Reframing Thoughts
It’s important to consider that many of these “button pushing” behaviors are
expected and developmentally appropriate. Most four-year-olds speak loudly and
need to move a lot! They have difficulty sitting quietly in large group activities
for extended periods. Some behaviors are a result of different family or cultural
expectations.

Teachers often feel frustrated or powerless, because they don’t know how to
respond to these behaviors. Or they may feel that “teaching children to behave
is the family’s job.” But children don’t generally come to school knowing how to
behave—especially in a group. It is the teacher’s job to teach children appropriate
social-emotional skills.

This means teachers must learn to respond appropriately and professionally

to children’s challenging behaviors, rather than reacting to triggered negative
emotions such as anger, frustration, or aggravation. Positive self-talk and calming
thoughts help teachers reframe negative thoughts and respond as a professional.

Positive Self-Talk

Thoughts drive behavior, so using positive self-talk increases positive interactions

with children. For example, an upsetting thought might be “He ruins everything!”
How could that be said in a calming manner? “Having him in my class is going to
help me grow professionally.”

Calming Thoughts

Here is another example: It is upsetting to wonder if the corner grocery store is

hiring because one is so unhappy with a child’s behavior. Replace that upsetting
thought with one like, “You can handle this. Take a deep breath, count to ten,
relax your body, and then think about what to do.”

Key Takeaway: Teachers must respond

appropriately and professionally to children’s
challenging behaviors, rather than reacting to
their own triggered emotions.

Module 2: How Relationships Influence Behavior | 33

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Food for Thought: Reframing Thoughts

In reframing challenging behaviors, do not come up with solutions but rather
restate the behaviors to make them more manageable. Reflect on these thoughts
and think about how they might be reframed as calming thoughts.

Take a moment to consider and answer each question.

How would you replace

Calming Thoughts
this thought?

He whines from the moment he gets

here until the time he gets on the bus
to go home.

She is clingy not only with her mother

but also with other adults as well.

I have to watch him like a hawk or he

will run down the hall or go out the
gate.

She is so unfriendly.

She constantly knocks over the other

children’s constructions or destroys
the other children’s artwork.

Module 2: How Relationships Influence Behavior | 34

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Food for Thought: Ideas for Reframing Hot Buttons

Taking the child’s point of view, as seen in the prior screen, is an excellent way
of reframing behaviors. Another way is to determine what SED skills need to
be learned and develop lesson plans accordingly. Look at your work in the Hot
Button Activity, in which you thought about children’s button-pushing behaviors
and how they made you feel. In the box labelled, “Ideas for Reframing Hot
Buttons,” think about how you might reframe the thoughts you recorded using the
GELDS.

Take a moment to consider and answer each question.

How do these behaviors make you feel?

How can you reframe those thoughts?
My Reframed Thought Using the
When children... I usually feel...
GELDS

Hit, bite, or push

Refuse to obey
rules

Module 2: How Relationships Influence Behavior | 35

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Video: Every Kid Needs a Champion

Before you watch this clip, consider its title. What thoughts does it bring to mind?
Think about your most salient memory of a teacher that you have from early
childhood. Was that person a champion in your eyes? What characteristics were
present? Do you remember what you learned? How did that person make you
feel?

Rita Pierson is an experienced educator that shares what must be present before
learning can occur. According to the video’s introductory statement, she once
heard a colleague say, “They don’t pay me to like the kids.” Her response: “Kids
don’t learn from people they don’t like.’” This video is “a rousing call to educators
to believe in their students and actually connect with them on a real, human,
personal level.” Listen to what she says and think about how her attitude affects
the relationships she has with her students.

n.d. TED Talks Education. “Every kid needs a champion.” TED. Accessed August 19, 2019. https://
www.ted.com/talks/rita_pierson_every_kid_needs_a_champion?language=en.

Module 2: How Relationships Influence Behavior | 36

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Addressing Challenging Behaviors

For early childhood educators, the answer to all challenging behaviors is the
same:
• Promote social and emotional competence through the acquisition of SED
skills
• Foster positive, healthy relationships with children, families, and colleagues
• Address challenging behaviors as a team that includes parents
• Address behavior challenges by identifying and meeting needs
• Develop lesson plans based on the GELDS and teach intentionally
• Implement developmentally appropriate practice
• Use the Pyramid Model to address behaviors
• Practice equity and inclusion in the classroom
• Involve families in life at the program

Key Takeaway: Challenging behaviors can

be successfully addressed through positive
relationships, the teacher’s knowledge of
professional practices, and family involvement.

Key Takeaway: Early childhood educators

should share their best practices with one
another and with other professionals, to ensure
better outcomes for children with challenging
behaviors.

Module 2: How Relationships Influence Behavior | 37

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

The Last Word

Children with the most challenging behaviors especially need, and often don’t
have, safe, secure, responsive, and nurturing relationships. All behaviors are
a form of communication. It takes time and effort to understand the purpose
or function of a child’s communication, so the child has access to necessary
supports. For children with challenging behaviors, harsh consequences,
suspension, and expulsion can damage their relationships, worsen their
behaviors, and have negative impacts on their adult outcomes. Teachers must
meet challenging behaviors with professionalism to prevent damage to their
relationships with children and their families.

A teacher’s interactions with a child can deeply impact social-emotional

development. It is critical to create the safe, secure responsive, and nurturing
relationships that are the hallmark of all quality early learning environments.
When these environments are lacking, children’s progress in the Social and
Emotional Development domain can decrease and challenging behaviors can
increase.

Here are the Key Takeaways from Module 2: How Relationships Influence
Behavior:
• Children’s challenging behaviors can be reduced through safe, secure,
responsive, and nurturing relationships with parents and teachers.

• All challenging behaviors serve a function (i.e., a purpose) for the child by
sending a message, achieving a desired result, or substituting for a missing
skill.

• All ages and stages of childhood are associated with specific challenging
behaviors, and early childhood educators help children learn to manage their
emotions in healthy ways.

• The first step in addressing a challenging behavior is to determine the

meaning of the behavior (i.e., needs that are not being met and skills that
need to be developed), and that can be hard.

• Reactions to children’s challenging behaviors should be thought about in

advance, not in the moment, to ensure professionalism.

• The quality of children’s relationships greatly influences their social-emotional

development.

Module 2: How Relationships Influence Behavior | 38

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

The Last Word—Continued

• Teachers must respond appropriately and professionally to children’s
challenging behaviors, rather than reacting to their own triggered emotions.

• Challenging behaviors can be successfully addressed through positive

relationships, the teacher’s knowledge of professional practices, and family
involvement.

• Early childhood educators should share their best practices with one another
and with other professionals, to ensure better outcomes for children with
challenging behaviors.

Module 2: How Relationships Influence Behavior | 39

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Module 2 Conclusion
You have achieved this module’s learning objective if you can:
• Analyze how positive relationships with children and families effect positive
behavior

Module 2: How Relationships Influence Behavior | 40

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Module 3: Fostering Positive Relationships

Overview
This module will provide best practices from the field that help early child educators foster
positive relationships with children, coworkers, and families.

Module Goal
Participants will be able to develop positive relationships with children, coworkers, and families,
and ensure the learning environment is safe, secure, responsive, and nurturing.

Learning Objective
After successfully completing this module you will be able to:
• Acquire strategies to foster positive relationships

Effective teachers use

specific strategies to
encourage positive,
healthy relationships
with children.

Module 3: Fostering Positive Relationships | 41

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Relationship Dynamics in Early Learning Environments

To be effective in promoting positive social behaviors in all children, focus on
relationships as the foundation. This module will look at how to build teacher-child
relationships, teacher-teacher relationships, and teacher-family relationships. This
is the three-legged stool that supports healthy social-emotional growth in children
in early learning environments.

In teacher-child relationships, a powerful interaction is a teachable moment, a

chance for skillful and intentional teaching.

In teacher-teacher relationships, a powerful interaction is one that builds trust

and respect and allows professionals to see each other as individuals.

In teacher-family relationships, powerful interactions ensure that all families

feel valued, respected, and honored at the program, and that the program is their
partner in securing the best outcomes for their child.

Key Takeaway: Relationships are the foundation

of positive social behaviors, and they are built
on powerful interactions.

Module 3: Fostering Positive Relationships | 42

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Food for Thought: What Do You See?

According to the CLASS Dimensions Guide, “Classrooms in which teachers
develop positive relationships with children and are sensitive to children’s needs
foster children’s social development.” Imagine you are visiting this early childhood
classroom. It displays many indicators that positive, healthy relationships are
being nurtured.

Take a moment to consider and answer this question.

• Imagine you are visiting the early childhood classroom that is pictured in
the course. What do you see in this photo that would let you know that the
relationships between adults and children are positive?

Module 3: Fostering Positive Relationships | 43

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Teacher-Child Relationships
In a safe, secure, responsive and nurturing classroom, certain strategies are
employed continuously, and both teachers and children reap the benefits.
Here are some examples of strategies and benefits related to teacher-child
relationships.

Benefits of Positive
Strategies
Teacher-Child Relationships
• Smile at the child • Foster engagement and interest
• Use the child’s name often • Reduce challenging behavior
• Show respect for the child • Increase feelings of acceptance
• Have one-on-one interactions • Encourage empathy and respect
• Let the child lead play • Develop positive self-esteem
• Sincerely compliment the child
• Ask the child’s opinion

Key Takeaway: Effective teachers use specific

strategies to encourage positive, healthy
relationships with children.

Module 3: Fostering Positive Relationships | 44

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Video: Conversations
Based on the video in the course, what did this teacher do to foster the
relationship and build the child’s social development? Note a few best practices
you identified.

Module 3: Fostering Positive Relationships | 45

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Relationship Piggy Banks

A simple way to think about relationships is by using the example of a piggy bank.
Based on the work of Carolyn Webster-Stratton, this example illustrates the idea
of making deposits and withdrawals into a person’s emotional bank. Deposits
build relationships, and withdrawals tear down relationships. Everyone knows the
way to a happy bank account is to make more deposits than withdrawals.

This is true of relationships as well; the way to a happy relationship is to make

far more deposits than withdrawals. Research supports the ratio of at least five
positive interactions for every one negative. When teachers become more mindful
of the need to increase the number of positive interactions, relationships with
children become stronger and the emotional climate of the classroom shifts to
become more positive.

Module 3: Fostering Positive Relationships | 46

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Activity: Making Deposits

For a child, a deposit could be something as simple as individual time together
with laughs and positive interaction. A withdrawal would be a loud, harsh voice,
sarcasm, and unreasonable consequences such as “Just for that, you will sit out
when we go outside.”

Here are some more examples of deposits for children:

• Acknowledge both verbal and non-verbal communication
• Use a calm, pleasant voice
• Talk to children at their level
• Make eye contact (when this is comfortable for the child)
• Use the child’s name

Match the example in the right column to a step torwards a child’s full relationship
piggy bank in the left column. Then, write three more examples of your own.

Steps Example
Follow child’s lead A. Ask open-ended follow-up
questions.
Listen to children and
encourage them to listen to B. Offer specific, individual praise.
each other C. Offer two or three acceptable
Acknowledge children’s efforts options and honor their choices.
and accomplishments

Three additional examples:

Module 3: Fostering Positive Relationships | 47

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Classroom Activity: Kindness is Growing

Children comply with rules nearly 80% of the time, yet appropriate behavior
is noticed less than 2% of the time.

Jack, S. L., et al. (1996). An analysis of the relationship of teachers’ reported use of
classroom management strategies on types of classroom interactions. Journal of Behavioral
Education, Vol. 6 (No. 1), pp. 67-87.

Learning Objective: Children will learn to recognize positive behavior in

themselves and support it when they see it in peers.

Strategy: Use a “kindness is growing” flowerpot to recognize specific positive

behaviors. Fill a flowerpot with decorative stones or marbles. Make “flowers”
by securing silk flowers onto wooden dowels using florists’ tape and set them
beside the pot. Add a flower to the pot whenever you notice positive behavior, and
encourage children to point out when others are following rules or being kind.

Implementation:
• Recognize specific, positive things that are said and done
• Give feedback to the class as a group
• Describe the behavior and link it back to a behavior expectation
• Add a flower to the pot whenever you notice positive behavior
• Encourage children to point out when others are following rules or being kind
• Come up with a fun activity (of their choosing) for when the flower pot is full
• Be sure that the pot fills quickly and frequently so that children can connect
their behavior to the reinforcement of the fun activity

Module 3: Fostering Positive Relationships | 48

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Video: Brain Games

Remember the game “Perfection”? Players have to put all of the shapes in before
the timer buzzes. Watch the Brain Games episode in the course to show how
important encouragement is, not only for children but adults.

Module 3: Fostering Positive Relationships | 49

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Examples of Withdrawals
On the negative side, there are certain adult behaviors that should never
be exhibited with children. Threats such as “I’ll tell your parents about this”
are inappropriate. Sarcasm is never appropriate: “Well, aren’t you smart.”
Unreasonable or inappropriate consequences such as, “Just for that, you aren’t
going outside today.” None of these belong in a quality early childhood classroom.
Sometimes a teacher must say words like “no” or “stop,” but if a child’s emotional
piggy bank is full of positive deposits, then these withdrawals will not affect the
relationships. But if negative words are all children hear, then the balance in their
emotional banks will diminish quickly.

These unprofessional behaviors make withdrawals from a child’s relationship

piggy bank:
• Using a harsh or loud voice
• Saying, “No! Stop! Quit that!”
• Making intimidating statements or requests
• Making threats like, “Do I need to call your mom?”
• Being sarcastic: “Well, aren’t you smart.”
• Delivering unreasonable or inappropriate consequences

Module 3: Fostering Positive Relationships | 50

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Activity: Making Deposits and Withdrawals to a Child’s

Relationship Piggy Bank
Read the question and choose all answers that apply.

Which of these statements makes deposits in a child’s relationship piggy bank?

Ͻ “Stop being such a sissy.”

Ͻ “May I play, too?”

Ͻ “Jonah, I like the way you are helping your friend.”

Ͻ “Do you want time out?”

Ͻ “Pretty is as pretty does.”

Ͻ “Because I said so, that’s why.”

Ͻ “That is your biggest tower yet, Kara!”

Ͻ “Goodness! Can’t you sit still for just two minutes?”

Ͻ “I really like your new haircut. You look great!”

Module 3: Fostering Positive Relationships | 51

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Powerful Interactions for Teacher-Child Relationships

One relationship-building strategy teachers can rely on is creating powerful
interactions throughout the day. A powerful interaction is a teachable moment, a
chance for skillful and intentional teaching. Powerful interactions in the classroom
involve letting the child take the lead and responding authentically. It is also
a moment for teachers to stay open to learning, too. By focusing on the child,
teachers can decide exactly what to say in the moment that will stretch that child’s
thinking and knowledge and build social-emotional skills. Powerful interactions
are a quick way to fit in meaningful and intentional time with each child each day.

Powerful interactions take anywhere between three to five minutes and have
three steps that enrich relationships and learning. First, be present with the
child and fully in the moment. Pause to become aware of personal thoughts and
feelings about what a child has said or done. Second, think about and decide how
to adjust to make the interaction work. Finally, in this frame of mind, be intentional,
deciding what to say and do to deepen the relationship and extend learning.

Powerful interactions like these enable teachers to validate and model emotions
such as empathy. Mirror talk is one strategy teachers commonly use to show they
are paying attention to what a child is saying or doing. For example, if a child is
crying, a teacher might mirror it by saying, “Your face is frowning and tears are
coming down your face. Are you feeling sad?”

Make the interaction personal. Comment on specific actions or efforts. Build on

what the child is doing and, when possible, connect that to previous ideas or
actions. Notice progress and persistence and ask open-ended questions. By
using this intentional interaction, children begin to feel as though their teacher
is truly invested in what they have to say, ultimately building a reassuring
relationship.

Key Takeaway: In teacher-child relationships, a

powerful interaction is a teachable moment, a
chance for skillful and intentional teaching.

Module 3: Fostering Positive Relationships | 52

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Relationship-Building Strategies for the Classroom

“Every child needs one person who is crazy about him.”

– Urie Bronfenbrenner

Building positive relationships is critical. Every child should feel acknowledged

and accepted. A teacher’s challenge is to be that person. One way to do that is to
be interested in what children are doing and spend time with them. Be respectful
of everyone’s personal space and feelings. When adults observe and approach in
a way that builds upon trust, children will be more open to explore and learn with
them. Ask permission to join an activity or to play alongside children. Be sure to
model how to be respectful of other people’s personal space and feelings. Here
are some more examples of what teachers can do to build positive relationships.

Let the child take the lead and respond authentically. Offer the child two or
three acceptable options and then honor the child’s choice. Trusting yourself to
make good decisions is an important skill.

Be present. Make sure your full attention is on the task at hand, not on another
teacher, paperwork, or personal concerns. It is never appropriate to use an
electronic device for personal reasons when teaching or supervising children.

Validate and model emotions. Name emotions as they are displayed, and
assure children that everyone has feelings like anger, frustration, dismay, and
jealousy. Complex feelings like this are difficult for children to identify and express
appropriately.

Make interactions personal. Find time every day to have an individual

conversation with every child. It does not need to be long, but it needs to be
specific and follow developmentally appropriate practice.

Acknowledge both the child’s verbal and non-verbal communication. Return

smiles, waves, and nods. Use a calm, pleasant voice. Talk to the child at their eye
level. Make eye contact and use the child’s name frequently.

Follow the child’s lead in play. Be a co-player, not the director. Too often
teachers begin to “quiz” the child—What color is that? How many blocks do you
have? —instead of joining in with whatever the child is doing. Extend and enrich
their play but let them be in charge. This also involves truly listening to them and
paying attention to what they are saying.

Module 3: Fostering Positive Relationships | 53

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Relationship-Building Strategies
for the Classroom—Continued
Acknowledge efforts and accomplishments. Give compliments liberally. Not
just empty praise but meaningful, specific feedback. Jack, S. L., et al. (1996)
conducted research in numerous classrooms and discovered that children comply
with rules 80% of the time. Yet appropriate behavior is noticed less than 2% of the
time. No wonder children often do not know what is expected of them.

Module 3: Fostering Positive Relationships | 54

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Classroom Activity: Use a “Talking Stick”

Learning Objective: Children will learn to listen to each other’s responses during
a conversation.

Strategy: Create a talking stick by decorating it with found items, such as feathers
or ribbons. Use the stick to help children practice active listening, which is the
skill of listening to other people and responding to what they say (as opposed to
simply waiting your turn to speak.)

Implementation: In large groups: Holding the talking stick, pick a topic to discuss
such as what fruit each child likes to eat. Have each child respond as they hold
the stick. Continue around the circle for as long as children stay interested.

In pairs: Use the talking stick to teach conflict resolution and problem-solving
skills. During a disagreement, have a child hold the stick and talk through his
feelings, then pass the stick to the other child. Monitor the interaction closely to
identify teachable moments.

Module 3: Fostering Positive Relationships | 55

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

More Relationship-Building Strategies for the Classroom

Provide positive feedback that describes the child’s actions and affirms
the behavior that is positive or appropriate. Immediate, positive, and specific
feedback builds a child’s self-esteem and promotes repeated appropriate
behavior. This gives them specific information about what to do next time and
adds deposits to their emotional bank. When giving feedback, the words “good
job” are not enough. Many teachers use them over and over throughout a day
without even thinking about exactly what children are doing.

Display children’s images and their unique work around the room. Supply
children with tape and encourage them to “find a spot” to put their drawing.
Or, create spots with individual bulletin boards or large laminated pieces of
construction paper and label them with children’s names. Mobiles work well, too:
Use file folders to make a t-shirt shape, and have the children decorate them.
Place the shirts on coat hangers to create a one-of-a-kind mobile. Dangle pictures
from the t-shirt the children make or use images the family provides.

Create a birthday wall. Celebrate each child’s birthday by showing the things
that make them unique individuals. This can be done using pictures cut from
magazines, or photographs from home.

Wish sick children well. Try this idea from Becky Bailey: When a child misses
school, tell him how much he was missed. Obtain a cookie sheet or pizza pan and
small magnetic pictures of the children in class. Paint a heart in the center of the
pizza pan. As children arrive at school, help them put their pictures around the
heart. When everyone has arrived, place anyone who is absent in the heart and
lead the class in singing, “We wish you well, we wish you well. Jacob is not here
today, we wish him well.” Children quickly learn that even when they are not at
school their teacher and classmates are thinking about them and that everyone is
a valued member of the classroom community.

Bailey, Becky. N.d. “Wish well board.” Conscious Discipline. Accessed August 21, 2019. https://
consciousdiscipline.com/videos/wish-well-board/.

Give hugs, high fives, and thumbs up for all children. Many researchers
report the importance of physical touch in improving teaching and learning and in
building positive social emotional bonds. Be generous with appropriate physical
touch, and touch children the way they touch other people.

Module 3: Fostering Positive Relationships | 56

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Teacher-Teacher Relationships
In a safe, secure, responsive and nurturing classroom, teachers have positive,
healthy relationships, and everyone benefits. The goal is to come along side one
another to provide mutual support. Here are some examples.

Benefits of Positive
Strategies
Teacher-Child Relationships
• Model how children should treat • The children have positive role
others. models.
• Create a positive atmosphere for • When team morale goes up, the
everyone. children notice.
• Work toward common goals. • A spirit of camaraderie—“We are
• Implement meaningful instruction. all in this together”—is achieved.
• Support children with challenging • Lesson plans can be developed,
behaviors. implemented, and evaluated as
a team without causing negative
feelings
• Children have consistent guidance
and discipline when teacher
address challenging behavior as a
team.
• Work-related stress is reduced,
resulting in fewer health problems
for teachers and fewer sick days

Key Takeaway: Effective teachers and

administrators use specific strategies to
encourage positive relationships amongst
themselves.

Module 3: Fostering Positive Relationships | 57

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Powerful Interactions for Teacher-Teacher Relationships

Think about the importance of positive relationships within the teaching team.
It’s important that teachers model how they want children to treat others. It’s
not enough to just talk about appropriate behavior; children need to see adults
demonstrating these behaviors. Be respectful, caring, and considerate of one
another. Children need to see teachers following rules and being kind. They
quickly pick up on the general atmosphere in the room, becoming attuned to
positive or negative vibes and acting accordingly.

Having positive relationships with colleagues helps everyone work toward

common goals. It lets everyone feel better about coming to work, teach more
effectively, and support those children with challenging behaviors in their
classrooms.

Key Takeaway: Powerful interactions between

teachers provide a model for children to follow.

Module 3: Fostering Positive Relationships | 58

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Relationship-Building Strategies for the Teaching Team

Communication is key in promoting positive relationships. Here are some best
practices to consider.

Make time every day to touch base. Plan a time before the children arrive to
check in with one another as a group. During the day, make time to check in on
each other. No teacher should feel alone in their job.

Share lesson plans and expectations. Encourage everyone on the team to

be aware of learning goals for children and to contribute to lesson ideas and
activities. When everyone feels a part of what’s going on, they are more likely to
participate in a positive way.

Share daily classroom duties. Come up with a fair way to share daily classroom
duties such as cleaning or supervising messy projects. Make a roles and
responsibilities list for the classroom that changes on a regular basis. No one
wants to empty the trash all the time.

Spend some time together on a personal level. Get to know each other. Grab
a cup of coffee or meet for lunch on the weekend or go out to dinner after work.
Read the same book on child care, and then meet to discuss it. Take walks
together on breaks. The goal is to build positive relationships with one another,
and that starts with shared experiences.

Talk about individual work and learning styles. Everyone learns and
communicates differently. One person may be a very visual learner and need
things written out. Another teaching partner may be fine with verbal directions.
One may like to manage multiple tasks at once, but a colleague may need to
complete one task before starting on another. Find out what works for each
individual.

Share those “hot button” behaviors with each other. What pushes one
person’s buttons may not be as stressful for a teaching partner. Come up with
a signal that means “help me out here” for those times that someone needs
support.

Module 3: Fostering Positive Relationships | 59

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Activity: The Interview

Find another early childhood professional in your child care program and ask
them the following questions. Then answer the questions so they can learn about
you.

1. What made you choose to work in this field?

2. What is something you want me to know about you?
3. What do you like to do when you are not teaching?
4. What is the best way to get last minute information to each other?
5. What’s your favorite food? Restaurant?
6. What is your favorite color?
7. What is your favorite treat/candy?
8. How do you feel about the current classroom schedule?
9. How do you feel about the classroom arrangement? Learning centers?
10. If there was one thing you could change about the room, what would it be?

Module 3: Fostering Positive Relationships | 60

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Activity: Making Deposits and Withdrawals to a

Colleague’s Relationship Piggy Bank
Read the question and choose all the answers that apply.

Which of these makes deposits in a coworker’s relationship piggy bank?

Ͻ Sharing your lesson plans

Ͻ Making time to touch base

Ͻ Gossiping

Ͻ Being respectful

Ͻ Lying

Ͻ Noticing accomplishments

Ͻ Sharing work and learning styles

Ͻ Being judgmental

Ͻ Being unprofessional

Ͻ Sharing “hot button” issues

Ͻ Sharing expectations

Ͻ Taking help, but not giving it

Module 3: Fostering Positive Relationships | 61

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Teacher-Family Relationships
The first and most important thing that teachers must do is to build positive
relationships with every child and family. This is the foundation of social and
emotional competence. Together, teachers can work to ensure that “all young
children in Georgia have strong social emotional foundations for lifelong learning,”
as stated in DECAL’s early childhood Positive Behavioral Interventions and
Supports (PBIS) initiative.

Georgia Department of Early Care and Learning (2020), Positive behavioral interventions and
supports (PBIS). (2019). Accessed August 21, 2019. http://www.decal.ga.gov/bfts/PBIS.aspx.

In safe, secure, responsive, and nurturing teacher-family relationships, teachers

make sure families know they are welcomed at and appreciated by the program.
They are honored as the experts on their child, and their advice is implemented
as often as possible. Here are some examples.

Benefits of Positive
Strategies
Teacher-Family Relationships
• Build meaningful partnerships. • Teachers are better able to
• Foster mutual trust and respect. implement developmentally
• Manage children’s behavior appropriate practice.
together. • Families feel valued where their
• Ask families for ideas for the children are educated.
program and its learning activities. • Communication is ongoing, so
• Address challenging behaviors as children’s needs are better met
a team. • Children see their families
• Do fun things together; for and culture being respected
example, have family game nights. and honored, fostering self-
acceptance.
• Children receive consistent
guidance and support.

Key Takeaway: Effective teachers use specific

strategies to encourage positive relationships
with parents and guardians.

Module 3: Fostering Positive Relationships | 62

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Positive Relationships and Equity

In its Position Statement on Challenging Behavior and Young Children, Division
of Early Childhood of the Council for Exceptional Children (DEC) calls upon
educators to adopt culturally sustaining practices and “seek to bridge the diverse
cultures that children are immersed in, with the goal of helping them be engaged
and successful in all settings.”

Division for Early Childhood. (2017). Position Statement on Challenging Behavior and Young
Children. Washington D.C.: DEC Executive Board.

To bridge cultures, family involvement is critical. The knowledge that families

share about themselves should inform all decisions as they pertain to lesson
planning and behavior management practices. The key is to not view cultural
differences as a challenge but as an asset to be used in building children’s
growth and development in all domains, especially in the Social and Emotional
Development domain.

Module 3: Fostering Positive Relationships | 63

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Activity: Making Deposits with Families

This activity will help you determine how well you make deposits with families.
For each statement in the online course, decide if you “Agree,” “Do not agree or
disagree,” or “Disagree” for each statement. Record your score below.

Neutral
Score 7
Few
Many Deposits
Deposits
Score 8–12
Score 0–6

Few Deposits: You are not overly engaged with the families in your program.
Consider implementing what you have learned in this course to increase your
engagement with families.

Neutral: You currently are making some deposits with the families. Consider
implementing what you have learned in this course to increase your engagement
with families.

Many Deposits: You are highly engaged with the families in your program.
Continue to engage with families to strengthen your relationships with families.

Module 3: Fostering Positive Relationships | 64

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Using SOUL to Communicate with Families

Use the SOUL acronym to remember some important facets of building
relationships with families.

The “S” stands for Silence. Teachers must give families their full attention and
be fully present when communicating with them. It means sometimes they must
suspend their agenda and let the family take the lead.

“O” is for observation. Just like teachers use noticing (both internal and external),
they follow the families’ cues to show that they are receptive. Internal noticing
happens as a teacher monitors their own thoughts, feelings, and reactions.
External noticing happens when a teacher notices those of other people.

The “U” stands for understanding. This means teachers show openness to the
conversation and that they are willing to be changed by the encounter or person.

The “L” is for active listening. Part of developing a trusting relationship with
families means that when they are talking to a teacher, they have their undivided
attention. The teacher’s words and body language must show they are truly
listening, fully concentrating, understand what is being said, and can respond
appropriately to it.

The Body Says What the Mouth Does Not

When talking with family members, observe their body language. What message
is their body language communicating? Teachers should also pay close attention
to their own body language and be mindful of the messages it sends. They must
be sure it shows that they are receptive to the conversation and the message
the family is communicating. Truly work to suspend personal thoughts, biases,
or judgements and listen to the family’s message with the intent to understand,
because body language does not lie.

Module 3: Fostering Positive Relationships | 65

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Active Listening in Teacher-Family Relationships

Seek first to understand, then to be understood.

Stephen Covey, in The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

Active listening means paying attention to what people say and responding
to what they said. It means fully understanding what a person means before
responding to it and asking open-ended follow-up questions whenever meaning is
not clear.

When it is the teacher’s turn to talk, they must choose their words wisely. It
matters how they start conversations (by using the right openers), and how much
time they spend encouraging and validating what was said to them (as opposed
to how much time they spend talking). When teachers want to offer constructive
feedback, it must be done with professionalism and compassion. Many times, the
best thing to do is ask a follow-up question.

OPENER ENCOURAGEMENT
“Would you like to talk about...” Be specific and meaningful.

“I notice that you are quiet today...” “It really struck me how happy he
looked when you read him that story”
instead of “Good Job!”

VALIDATING CONSTRUCTIVE FEEDBACK

“Other parents feel the same way you “I” Statements: “Sometimes it works
do...” for me when I...”

“You are not alone, crazy, abnormal...”

Module 3: Fostering Positive Relationships | 66

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Danger Ahead: Communication Blocks

Be aware of communication blocks. Teachers sometimes make withdrawals from
parents’ emotional piggy banks through communication blocks, which shut down
responses and injure relationships. Here are some examples.

• Professional Jargon: “During center time, he only engages in parallel play.”

• Blaming: “He would learn how to do it if you gave him a chance.”
• Saying “Always” or “Never”: “You never seem to have time to talk.”
• Labeling: “Parents like you...”
• Commentary: “If I were you...,” “You’d be better off if you...,” “My sister had
the same problems, and she...”
• Threatening: “If you do not do this now, your child is going to...”
• Minimizing Concerns: “It’s not so bad.”
• Facial and Body Language: Frowning, looking confused, shocked or
disgusted; folding arms over chest, standing with hands on hips, etc.

Module 3: Fostering Positive Relationships | 67

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Activity: Making Deposits in a Family’s Relationship

Piggy Bank
Read the question and choose all the answers that apply.

Which of these makes deposits in a family’s relationship piggy bank?

Ͻ Send notes to share information about good things their child is doing

Ͻ Tell families that you are an expert on child-rearing and know what is best

Ͻ Make phone calls to share something good the child did or said

Ͻ Take surveys in different ways to better involve families

Ͻ Be slow to return their calls, e-mails, and texts

Ͻ Ask individuals when and how is the best way to communicate

Ͻ Remind families often of how busy you are

Ͻ Forget to follow up on promises

Ͻ Comment on specific positive parent/child interactions

Ͻ Make home visits that are scheduled

Ͻ Make home visits that are unannounced

Ͻ Share information about community events and resources

Module 3: Fostering Positive Relationships | 68

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Powerful Interactions for Teacher-Family Relationships

“…establish and maintain a relationship based on mutual trust…”

Gartrell, D.J. 2007. A guidance approach for the encouraging classroom. 4th ed. Clifton
Park, NY: Delmar/Cengage.

Powerful interactions between teachers and families are built on trust and
respect and work to benefit the child. When parents and teachers have a
positive relationship based on trust and good communication, many problems
can be avoided altogether. And when problems do arise, they are easier to deal
with. Meaningful partnerships with families benefit their children in many ways.
Studies show that when families partner with teachers and are engaged, children
exhibit better behavior, have increased learning gains, and even have increased
socialization.

Building these feelings of mutual trust and respect can take time. Families come
to the program with different knowledge and experience in child-rearing. They
may have a different language or culture, and their priorities for their children may
be different from their child’s teacher. If teachers assume two things—that families
love their children more than anything in the world and that they are doing the
best they can—it will make partnerships more genuine and meaningful to the
family, the child, and the program.

Key Takeaway: Powerful interactions between

teachers and families ensure that everyone feels
valued, respected, and honored at the program,
and that the teacher is their partner in securing
the best outcomes for their child.

Module 3: Fostering Positive Relationships | 69

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Relationship-Building Strategies for Teachers

and Families
Here are some best practices for building relationships with families.

Communicate! Ensure families know what’s happening in the classroom daily

and that all communication is bi-directional. Make sure all families have ways
to easily communicate with staff and to contribute to what is happening in the
classroom.

Be personally connected to each family. Know what is happening at home and

how it might affect the child. Be aware of each family’s priorities and goals for
their child. Notice them as individuals, and “catch” them doing the good and right
things for their child.

Consider home visits. Many teachers feel that home visits are very valuable in
getting to know families. It lets teachers see family interactions as well as sending
the message to parents that they are interested in their child.

Send home questionnaires for parents to fill out. Ask about children’s
interests, learning styles, as well as family priorities, resources, and concerns for
their child. Use this information in the classroom to build a relationship of trust
and respect with families.

Remain sensitive to cultural diversity and acknowledge personal bias. There

are many ways of setting boundaries and goals for children and each family has
a different view of what is “appropriate.” Remember that the emphasis should be
on mutual respect—teachers must view families as equal partners and valuable
contributors.

Honor the unique identities of families. Ask them to share their background
and experiences; for example, have them send in photographs of family members
and help the child create a “family tree” or “family quilt.” Children’s drawings of
their families work, too.

Observe body language when talking with family members. Teachers should
monitor the messages their own body language is communicating as well.

Be receptive to the message the family is communicating. Suspend personal

thoughts, biases, and judgements and listen to the family’s message with the
intent to understand. Remember to use SOUL in all interactions with families.

Be open-minded. Enter conversations to learn something new and understand

a topic in a new way or from another perspective. Don’t engage in conversation

Module 3: Fostering Positive Relationships | 70

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Relationship-Building Strategies for Teachers

and Families—Continued
with a predetermined end in mind—be open to come to mutual agreements or
solutions through conversation. Be willing to be changed by the conversation and
perspective of the family.

Offer information boards. These can give families important news and facts
about classrooms and programs. This board features the class schedule, lesson
plans, the weekly menu and information about activities. Highlighting learning
activities keeps families informed about current topics as well as showcasing
children’s work.

Use documentation boards. Show children’s work, and tie everything to what
the children are learning.

Build communication between children and their families. Try sending

“Postcards from Preschool.” Print out 4x6 photos of children. Show them how
to glue the photo on one side of a stiff piece of paper. On the opposite side,
encourage them to draw or write a message to their parents about what they
were doing at school. Offer to take dictation. Provide stamps and mail them or
send postcards home at the end of the week.

Use technology to communicate with families. Many parents or caregivers are

much more likely to check messages than to read a printed newsletter. Send brief
texts about important information or upcoming events in addition to placing them
in a newsletter and on the parent board. Send emails about a child’s learning or
progress, or to share important information. Use social media, but make sure
confidentiality is always maintained; it is not OK to post personal information or
a photograph of anyone, child or adult, without written permission. Remember,
parents love to know when their child is doing well, not just when they are being
challenging!

Provide information that increases their knowledge of child development.

Be sure to share information with parents that help them to continue to support
social emotional development at home. For example, provide access to articles or
books to check out, and give links to websites and online articles about parenting.

Increase family involvement at the program. Plan family activities in the

evening, such as talent shows or game nights.

Share resources. Send home activities, games, or books, or make them

available for checkout. Provide access to articles or books to check out.

Module 3: Fostering Positive Relationships | 71

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Family Activity: Making Faces

Learning Objective: Help children match facial expressions with emotions.

Strategy: Make emotions cards and send those home. Families will help children
identify emotions by looking at an emotions card and then look in the mirror, so
they can see what their own confused, happy, surprised, or embarrassed face
looks like. Parents should also express these emotions with a facial expression.

Implementation:
1. Create emotions cards or purchase them.
2. Put them in a container or zip bag with family-friendly instructions.
3. Allow families to check them out.
4. Talk to the child about the activity at school.

Module 3: Fostering Positive Relationships | 72

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Developing an Action Plan

Module 1 presented The Inventory of Practices for Promoting Social Emotional
Competence, a tool developed by The Center on the Social and Emotional
Foundations for Early Learning (CSEFEL). It stated this course employs a version
of the tool that focuses on self-reflection and is best used by individuals. This
section of Module 3 will be devoted to completing the form begun in Module 1.

Module 3: Fostering Positive Relationships | 73

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Food for Thought: Your Action Plan

Access the Inventory of Practices for Promoting Social Emotional Competence
that you began in Module 1. At that time, you read each item in the Skills
and Indicators column and determined whether you do them consistently,
occasionally, or seldomly. Now it is time to come up with some strategies to
implement new practices and determine what resources will be needed, after
considering the information in this module.

1. Before you start, complete this exercise. Take a moment to consider and
answer each question.
2. When you are finished, fill out the Inventory of Practices.

• What strategies for powerful interactions will you implement with children?
What resources will you need to carry out your plans?

• What strategies for powerful interactions will you try with your colleagues?
What resources will you need to carry out your plans?

• What strategies for powerful interactions will you implement with families?
What resources will you need to carry out your plans?

Module 3: Fostering Positive Relationships | 74

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

The Last Word

Teachers are in the relationship business. The teacher-child, teacher-teacher,
and teacher-family relationships are critical because they are the three-legged
stool that supports the child. These relationships are built on trust and developed
over time through powerful interactions. The goal is to create a safe, secure,
responsive, and nurturing environment in which everyone feels respected, valued,
and honored.

Here are the Key Takeaways from Module 3: Fostering Positive Behavior:
• Relationships are the foundation of positive social behaviors, and they are
built on powerful interactions.

• Effective teachers use specific strategies to encourage positive, healthy

relationships with children.

• In teacher-child relationships, a powerful interaction is a teachable moment, a

chance for skillful and intentional teaching.

• Effective teachers and administrators use specific strategies to encourage

positive relationships amongst themselves.

• Powerful interactions between teachers provide a model for children to follow.

• Effective teachers use specific strategies to encourage positive relationships

with parents and guardians.

• Powerful interactions between teachers and families ensure that everyone

feels valued, respected, and honored at the program, and that the teacher is
their partner in securing the best outcomes for their child.

Module 3: Fostering Positive Relationships | 75

 A Course Guide for:
SEEDS’ Nurturing Positive Relationships (SNPR)

Module 3 Conclusion
You have achieved this module’s learning objective if you can:
• Acquire strategies to foster positive relationships

Module 3: Fostering Positive Relationships | 76