Teen Dating 102:
SAFER SEXTING
Today’s Plan
1. Intro & Warm Up
2. Sexting Risks & Likes
3. Spectrum of Sexting
4. Alternatives to Sending
Nudes
5. Hearing & Saying “No”
6. How to Get Help
7. Handouts
*DISCLAIMER
Magic was not used in the creation of this presentation.
FACTS & FIGURES
47% Of teens report that social media is a place they can
show their partner how much they care about them
50% Of teens use technology to initiate relationships
29% Of high school students have engaged in sexting
25% Of those who have received a sext have forwarded it
to others
SEXTING (seks-ting)
(verb)
1. Sending sexual photos,
videos, or messages
through the use of
technology
2. A sexual activity!
Warm-Up Question
▪ Is sexting right or
wrong? Why?
▪ Why do people
expose other
people’s nudes?
RISKS
What damaging
outcomes are possible?
Risks of Sexting
● Permanency
● Blackmail
● Safety concerns
● Getting in trouble (legal
trouble, at school, etc.)
● Emotional health
● Misunderstanding
fantasy vs. reality
WHY DO
PEOPLE LIKE
SEXTING?
Let’s brainstorm...
Why Do People Like
Sexting?
▪ No risk of pregnancy/STIs
▪ Practice communicating
boundaries
▪ Confidence boost
▪ Getting to try things through
technology before trying in
person
▪ What else?
THE SPECTRUM OF SEXTING
Healthy, Unhealthy, and Abusive Behaviors
Healthy Unhealthy Abusive
▹ Connecting with ▹ Trying to “save” a ▹ Threats, pressure,
partner failing relationship manipulation or
coercion
▹ Consensually ▹ Trying to “keep” a
exploring sexuality partner’s attention ▹ Sending pics after
or interest someone said “no”
▹ Practicing talking
about sexy things ▹ Bragging about ▹ Using photos or
getting nudes videos as blackmail
▹ Talking about
things you’re ▹ Sending nudes ▹ Forwarding photos to
interested in trying without getting humiliate partner
with partner consent
▹ Violating partner’s
▹ Having a safe ▹ Playing mind boundaries while
place to talk about games with trust sexting
fantasy
RESPONDING TO SEXTING WHEN IT
GOES PUBLIC
Healthy, Unhealthy, and Abusive Behaviors
Healthy Unhealthy Abusive
▹ Kindly & privately let ▹ Gossiping about ▹ Forwarding,
someone know if person in photo posting, or
you’ve seen their otherwise showing
▹ Blaming the
photo people the photo
person in the
▹ Delete photo if photo for being ▹ Harassing, bullying,
forwarded to you exposed or blackmailing the
▹ Talk to your friends ▹ Spreading lies person in the photo
who are exposing and victim ▹ Name-calling (slut,
nudes blaming (“it was hoe, thot, etc.)
their fault for
▹ Be vocal in speaking
taking the photo”
out against victim
or “they wanted to
blaming or name
be exposed”)
calling
What if I
want to
sext...
but am
concerned
about the
risks?
Alternatives to
Sending Nudes
▪ Send a link to
something flirty
▪ Give them a call
▪ Record audio
messages
▪ Send text-only
messages
Giving & Getting Consent
● Asking before sending nudes or sexual messages
○ Option to talk about it in person first
○ Doesn’t have to be boring or “ruin the mood”
● Discuss boundaries
○ Risk reduction options
○ Privacy agreements
● Get ongoing consent
When someone says “no”
● Give yourself some time: your
feelings might hurt and that’s
normal
● Take the high road: thank them
for being honest with you &
continue to be respectful
● Get support: What are healthy
ways to cope when you feel
rejected?
Telling someone “no”
● Refuse: “I don’t want that”
● Delay: “Let’s wait until…”
● Negotiate: “Yes, if we can both
agree that…”
● It’s okay to have different
boundaries: most people do,
and it doesn’t mean you’re in an
unhealthy relationship!
What if my photos are exposed?
Social & Legal Options Self-Care
▹ Work with school (and ▹ Surround yourself
SAVE) to create safety plan with supportive
▹ Report photos to social people and services
media platform ▹ Take space or time
▹ Involve school, off
parents/caregivers or ▹ Remember you have
other trusted adults the right to explore
▹ Track down digital copies and express your
▹ Restorative justice sexuality
▹ Restraining order ▹ Know that someone
▹ Contact police else’s actions are not
your fault
What if I’ve exposed someone’s photos?
Social & Legal Options Self-Work
▹ Delete photos ▹ Take responsibility for the
▹ Track down digital copies impact of your choices and
▹ Work with & comply with seek to understand why you
school and law made them
enforcement ▹ Seek support services
▹ Comply with requests of the ▹ Become an advocate for
person harmed healthy relationships
▹ Participate in restorative ▹ Read up on consent
justice
▹ Comply with restraining
order
Safer Sexting
Worksheet
What is one thing
that you will
remember from
today?
Thank you very much
for your time!
If you have any questions please don’t hesitate to
contact us at:
▪ save-dv.org
▪ sarahh@save-dv.org
▪ mayag@save-dv.org
24
