Common Family Roles
Hero: This is the “good” and “responsible” child. This person is a high
achiever, carries the pride of the family, and they overcompensate to avoid
looking or feeling inadequate. They are often a good leader and organizer
and are goal-oriented and self-disciplined. Sometimes the hero lacks the
ability to play, relax, follow others, or allow others to be right.
Rescuer: The rescuer takes care of others’ needs and emotions and
problem-solves for others in the family. The rescuer might have difficulty with
conflict. They take on the role of rescuer in the name of helping others,
though it is often to meet their own needs, such as relieving anxiety. This
person doesn’t realize that sometimes helping hurts. They also live with a lot
of guilt and find it challenging to focus on themselves.
Mediator: The mediator can be a rescuer-type although they work to keep
peace in the family system. This person does the emotional work of the
family to avoid conflict. They acts as a buffer, and do it in the name of
helping others, although it may be for their own needs. This can be a healthy
role depending on how the person mediates.
Scapegoat/Black sheep: This is the person the other family members feel
needs the most help. Usually this is the family member in need of treatment
or in treatment. This person often shows the obvious symptoms of the family
being unable to work through problems. The person may have strengths
such as a sense of humor, a greater level of honesty, and the willingness to
be close to his/her feelings. Yet there can also be an inappropriate expression
of feelings, and the person may experience social or emotional problems.
Switchboard: This person is the central information center in the family.
They keep track of what’s going on by being aware of who is doing what and
when. This person has strength in being the central person to go to and
understanding how the family is doing. However, this person focuses on
everyone else’s issues rather than their own.
Power broker: This person works at maintaining a hierarchy in the family
with their own self at the top. Their safety and security with life depends on
feeling in control of the environment around them.
Lost child: The lost child is the subservient good child. They are obedient,
passive, and hidden in the family trauma. They stay hidden to avoid being a
problem. Generally, this person is flexible and easygoing. However, they lack
direction, are fearful in making decisions, and follow without questioning.
Clown: The clown uses humor to offset the family conflict and to create a
sense that things are okay. This person has a talent to readily lighten the
moment, but they hide their true feelings.
Cheerleader: The cheerleader provides support and encouragement to
others. There is usually balance in taking care of their own needs while
providing a positive influence on those around them.
Nurturer: This person provides emotional support, creates safety, is
available to others, and can be a mediator. They focus on having and
meeting emotional needs, usually in a balanced manner.
Thinker: The thinker provides the objective, reasoning focus. Their strength
is being able to see situations in a logical, objective manner. However, they
may find it difficult to connect emotionally with others.
Truthteller: This person reflects the system as it is. At times the challenge
is how that information is relayed. Other members in the family might be
offended or avoid the truthteller because of the power of the truth they hold.
Strength occurs when this person is coupled with another positive role, such
as a nurturer or cheerleader.
Identified Patient: The Identified Patient is a common role. This role is
particularly problematic because it serves to cast the fault of the family’s
dysfunction on that of the child, enabling others to not address their own
roles. It is often the identified patient who becomes the “symptom bearer”
for the family, as they make overt the family dysfunction through their
symptoms. In this way, this role is valuable, as it is often what gets the
family into treatment. Once the family is in treatment however, it is
imperative the work of shifting this role begins. People are never problems. If
the role of “identified patient” persists in the family, pathology might jump
from the client to a sibling, or even a parent. While change for the client is
positive, this might be an indicator that the system is still relying on having
an identified patient to maintain stability.
