Bullying and Their Evaluation

Bullying is a form of aggressive behavior in which someone intentionally and repeatedly causes
another person injury or discomfort. Bullying can take the form of physical contact, words, or
more subtle actions.

The bullied individual typically has trouble defending him or herself and does nothing to
“cause” the bullying. Cyberbullying is verbally threatening or harassing behavior conducted
through such electronic technology as cell phones, email, social media, or text messaging.

Being bullied can severely affect a child’s or teen’s self-image, social interactions, or school
performance, and can lead to mental health problems such as depression, anxiety, and substance
use, and even suicidal thoughts and behaviors. You can usually identify bullying through the
following three characteristics: intent, repetition, and power. A person who bullies intends to
cause pain, either through physical harm or hurtful words or behaviour, and does so repeatedly.
Boys are more likely to experience physical bullying, while girls are more likely to experience
psychological bullying.

Bullying is a pattern of behaviour, rather than an isolated incident. Children who bully usually
come from a perceived higher social status or position of power, such as children who are
bigger, stronger, or perceived to be popular.

The most vulnerable children face a higher risk of being bullied. These are often children from
communities that are marginalized, children from poor families, children with different gender
identities, children with disabilities or migrant and refugee children.

Bullying can happen both in person or online. Cyberbullying often occurs over social media,
SMS/text or instant message, email, or any online platform where children interact. Because
parents may not always follow what their children are doing on these platforms, it can be
difficult to know when your child is affected

Signs that a child is being bulled may be physical, emotional, behavioral, social, or academic.
Short- and long-term effects of bullying may include:

• Stress, anxiety, and depression

Bullying and Trauma

Children or teens who have been exposed to trauma and violence may be more likely to:

• Bully others
• Be more distressed by bullying or appear desensitized to bullying
• Be the targets of bullying themselves
• Keep an eye on your child’s emotional state, as some children may not express their
concerns verbally. Signs to look out for include:
• Physical marks such as unexplained bruises, scratches, broken bones and healing
wounds
• Fear of going to school or joining school events
• Being anxious, nervous or very vigilant
• Having few friends in school or outside of school
• Losing friends suddenly or avoiding social situations
• Clothing, electronics or other personal belongings being lost or destroyed
• Often asking for money
• Low academic performance
• Absenteeism, or calling from school asking to go home
• Trying to stay near adults
• Not sleeping well and may be having nightmares
• Complaining of headaches, stomach aches or other physical ailments
• Regularly distressed after spending time online or on their phone (without a reasonable
explanation)
 • Becomes unusually secretive, especially when it comes to online activities
• Being aggressive or having angry outbursts

The relationship between trauma and bullying is complex. Being bullied can lead to traumatic
stress reactions including Posttraumatic Stress Disorder. Children who have experienced
trauma are more likely to be bullied and to engage in bullying behavior. In some cases, children
who experience trauma may develop social or interpersonal difficulties, making them more
likely to become targets of bullying. Studies of Adverse Childhood Experiences, or ACEs, have
found that children who report more ACEs are also more likely to exhibit bullying behavior.

Why should I intervene if my child is being bullied?

Bullying can have harmful and long lasting consequences for children. Besides the physical
effects of bullying, children may experience emotional and mental health problems, including
depression and anxiety, that can lead to substance abuse and decreased performance in school.

Unlike in-person bullying, cyberbullying can reach a victim anywhere, at any moment. It can
cause profound harm, as it can quickly reach a wide audience and leave a permanent footprint
online for all involved.

Your child has the right to a safe, nurturing school environment that respects their dignity. All
children have the right to an education, and protection from all forms of physical or mental
violence, injury or abuse. Bullying is no exception.

How can I help prevent bullying?

The first step to keeping your child safe, whether in-person or online, is making sure they know
the issue.

1. Educate your children about bullying

Once they know what bullying is, your children will be able to identify it more easily, whether
it is happening to them or someone else.

2. Talk openly and frequently to your children

The more you talk to your children about bullying, the more comfortable they will be telling
you if they see or experience it. Check in with your children daily and ask about their time at
school and their activities online, inquiring not only about their classes and activities, but also
about their feelings.
 3. Help your child be a positive role model

There are three parties to bullying: the victim, the perpetrator and the bystander. Even if
children are not victims of bullying, they can prevent bullying by being inclusive, respectful
and kind to their peers. If they witness bullying, they can stick up for the victim, offer support,
and/or question bullying behaviours.

4. Help build your child’s self confidence

Encourage your child to enroll in classes or join activities they love in your community. This
will also help build confidence as well as a group of friends with shared interests.

5. Be a role model

Show your child how to treat other children and adults with kindness and respect by doing the
same to the people around you, including speaking up when others are being mistreated.
Children look to their parents as examples of how to behave, including what to post online.

What should I do if my child is being bullied or threatened?

If you know your child is being bullied, there are several steps you can take to help:

1. Listen to your child openly and calmly

Focus on making them feel heard and supported, instead of trying to find the cause of the
bullying or trying to solve the problem. Make sure they know that it is not their fault.

2. Reassure your child

Tell the child that you believe them; that you are glad they told you; that it is not their fault;
that you will do your best to find help.

3. Talk to the teacher or school

You and your child do not have to face bullying alone. Ask if your school has a bullying policy
or code of conduct. This may apply for both in-person bullying and online.

4. Be a support system

For your child, having a supportive parent is essential to dealing with the effects of bullying.
Make sure they know they can talk to you at any time and reassure them that things will get
better.
What can I do if my child is bullying others?

There are several steps you should take to help your child stop bullying:

1. Communicate

Understanding why your child is acting out will help you know how to help them. Are they
feeling insecure at school? Are they fighting with a friend or sibling? If they are having trouble
explaining their behaviour, you may choose to consult with a counsellor, social worker, or
mental health professional who is trained to work with children.

2. Work through healthy ways of coping

Ask your child to explain a scenario that frustrated them, and offer constructive ways of
reacting. Use this exercise to brainstorm possible future scenarios and non-harmful responses.
Encourage your child to “put yourself in their shoes” by imagining the experience of the person
being bullied. Remind your child that comments made online still hurt in the real world.

3. Examine yourself

Children who bully are often modelling what they see at home. Are they exposed to physically
or emotionally harmful behaviour from you or another caregiver? Look inward and think
honestly about how you are presenting to your child.

4. Give consequences and opportunities to make amends

If you find out your child has been bullying, it is important to offer appropriate, non-violent
consequences. This could be limiting their activities, especially those that encourage bullying
(social gatherings, screen/social media time). Encourage your child to apologize to their peers
and find ways for them to be more inclusive in the future.