Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche

Do all that you can to bring your own stubborn mind under control and to develop your faith, diligence
and renunciation. Gradually you will develop the ability to master your mind in all circumstances; and by
following in the footsteps of the accomplished masters of the past, you will gain enlightenment in a
single lifetime.
To bring about a true change in your attitudes is hard at first. But if you understand the meaning
behind this mind training, and keep on trying to apply it, you will find that it helps you in every difficult
situation...
………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Everything depends on your intention. All the time, therefore, check your attitude and motivation.
Whatever you are doing, look constantly into…your mind and check whether your motive is for yourself
or for others. Never think that the dharma you are practising is for your benefit alone. … dedicate it for
the sake of all who live. Generat[e] the mindset of attaining enlightenment for the sake of others.
As Patrul Rinpoche said, everyone wants happiness, but the true way to reach perfect happiness is to
bring happiness to others.

Enlightenment will be ours when we are able to care for others as much as we now care for ourselves,
and ignore ourselves to the same extent that we now ignore others. (EC)

Again and again, develop compassion for all …beings in general, and particularly for those who dislike
you. It might be difficult at first, but you will never attain enlightenment as long as you continue to feel
ill-will towards your enemies.
Those who are now your enemies were in former lives your parents, and there is nothing fixed about
the status of an enemy or friend. To feel hostility towards enemies and affection towards your friends is
nothing but a deluded form of perception.
If someone defames and disgraces you, that is simply the result of having criticized and dishonored
others in the past, especially bodhisattvas. Instead of feeling angry with such people, you should feel
grateful to them for giving you the opportunity to purify your past misdeeds.
In all circumstances, it is important to act in accordance with the teachings - but especially at such
moments. What is the point of having received teachings if you do not apply them? Unfavorable
circumstances are the best opportunity you will have to put the teachings into practice.
The everyday practice is simply to develop a complete acceptance and openness to all situations and
emotions, and to all people, experiencing everything totally without mental reservations and blockages,
so that one never withdraws or centralizes into oneself.
To meet someone who really hurts you is to meet a rare and precious treasure. Hold that person in
high esteem, and make full use of the opportunity to eradicate your defects and make progress on the
path. If you cannot yet feel love and compassion for those who treat you badly, it is a sign that your
mind has not been fully transformed and that you need to keep working on it with increased
application. Once you overcome the hatred within your mind, you will discover that in the world
outside, there is no longer any such thing as even a single enemy.
When you feel you are being harmed by someone, remember that the harm that person may be
inflicting on you (or someone dear to you) is the direct result of yourself having harmed others in the
past. Reflect that this person is so overpowered by delusion that he or she is as if possessed, and cannot
resist harming you. As a result of this harm, he or she will have to suffer in samsara's lower realms in a
future life. When you think how terrible that will be, you will feel only sadness and pity rather than
anger.
Indeed, adversaries and people who try to harm you can be powerful sources of help on the
bodhisattva path. By bringing about situations which would normally trigger your anger or hatred, they
give you the precious opportunity to train in transforming those negative emotions with patience. On
the path, such people will do you far more good than any well-disposed friend.
.................
If we simply practice with this constantly present devotion, this is prayer itself.
When all thoughts are imbued with devotion to the guru, there is a natural confidence that this
will take care of whatever may happen.
You will not be able to attain enlightenment by relying only on your own ideas and being totally
independent. It is true that pratyekabuddhas are said to be able to achieve liberation by themselves; but
the fact that they have no spiritual teacher in their present life does not mean they did not have one in
the past.
...
...If your situation is pleasant and easy, see your happiness without any attachment, as the blessings of
the teacher, and as a dream, an illusion. And if you go through difficulties and suffering, see that, too, as
the blessings of the teacher. If you fall ill, visualize your spiritual teacher wherever it is in your body that
you feel pain or that is the site of the disease. Recognize that illness and pain offer you an opportunity to
purify yourself of harmful past actions and of ignorance- the sources of suffering.
......
Suffering, in fact, can be helpful in many ways. It spurs your motivation and as many teachings
point out, without suffering there would be no determination to be free from samsara. Sadness is an
effective antidote to arrogance.
You will fall sick, experience pain, and encounter many adverse circumstances. At such times do
not think, ‘Although I am practicing the Dharma, I have nothing but trouble. The Dharma cannot be so
great. I have followed a teacher and done so much practice, and yet hard times still befall me.’
Such thoughts are wrong views. You should realize that through the blessing and power of the
practice, by experiencing sickness and other difficulties now, you are purifying and ridding yourself of
negative actions.
By purifying them while you have the chance, you will later go from bliss to bliss. So do not
think, ‘I don’t deserve this illness, these obstacles, these negative influences.’ Experience your
difficulties as blessings. When you do experience such difficulties, you should be very happy and avoid
having adverse thoughts like, ‘Why are such terrible things happening to me?’
...
The supreme sign of a great practitioner is not that he sprouts a halo, has extraordinarily auspicious
dreams, experiences bliss continuously, or can foresee our miserable futures. The supreme sign is that
he no longer has any interest in material gain, fame, the respect of others, or being the centre of
attention.
You may look very impressive, with your eyes constantly gazing into the sky like a great meditator,
declaring, “My view is that of the Great Perfection”—but if you lack inner stability, you will stumble over
the first obstacle in your way. ... to the same degree that one becomes wise and learned, one also
becomes serene, peaceful, and subdued—not a reckless person bursting with pride and arrogance.
However much your practice progresses year after year, you will have no concern with comfort and
discomfort; you’ll have no pride at all. You will be always at peace, untroubled by outer events, with a
humble mind, beyond hopes and doubts and indifferent to the eight worldly concerns: gain and loss,
pleasure and pain, praise and blame, fame and obscurity.
The sign that you have fully assimilated your learning of the Dharma is that you become peaceful by
nature. The sign that you have assimilated your meditation is that you are free of obscuring emotions.
As learning leads to reflection and reflection transforms into meditation, your eagerness for the deluded
activities of this life will relax, and you will yearn for the Dharma instead.

......
Experiences are like mist: they will fade away. Practitioners who spend their time practicing in seclusion
are certain to have many different experiences, but these experiences are very unreliable. As it is said,
experiences are like rainbows, but the great meditator who runs after them like a child will be deceived.
We may occasionally have flashes of clairvoyance, seeing things we cannot ordinarily know. We may
have signs of accomplishment, or predictions from the deity or the dakinis. But such experiences in most
cases give rise to hope and expectation. They are none other than the tricks of demons: they simply
cause obstacles. When true realization dawns in one’s mind, it is like the king of mountains, Mount
Meru, which no wind can shake.
In short, afflictive emotions only have the power that you give to them. Rather than indulging in them
again and again, be rid of them once and for all, and then liberation will be near at hand.
...
Gradually you will be able to meet all the Buddhas, Bodhisattvas, and Vidyadharas dwelling in the
Budhafields and receive their blessings and instructions so that all obstacles and problems on the path
are cleared. Just as a son who takes care of his family’s fields, tilling the soil and producing a good
harvest, will greatly please his parents, so too by keeping your body, speech, and mind in tune with the
Dharma and persevering on the path for the sake of all sentient beings, you will gladden all the Buddhas
and Bodhisattvas and they will shower blessings upon you. You will be able to reach Buddhafields like
Tushita and Dumataka and other celestial fields. And you will be protected by all those who abide by
virtue – Buddhas, Bodhisattvas, and the various protectors. You will obtain the majesty of the Buddhas
and Bodhisattvas, with all their blessings, so that no hindrances, negative forces, or obstacle makers will
be able to do you any harm. (ZT)
............
For objects that please us and for people that we love, for example, our parents and relatives, we
experience attachment.
But when confronted by uncomfortable situations, when for example we see enemies or people we
dislike, we experience aversion.
When we see people who are neither close friends nor enemies, we feel indifferent.
In pleasant situations, we feel attachment; in unpleasant situations, anger; in indifferent situations,
ignorance.
Many people, like myself, are infected by the three poisons! Therefore we should pray, "May all beings
live virtuously, performing positive actions, and be free from the three poisons of attachment, anger,
and ignorance." We will be greatly benefited if we constantly train ourselves in thinking like this.
......
By and large, human beings tend to prefer to fit in to society by following accepted rules of etiquette
and being gentle, polite, and respectful. The irony is that this is also how most people imagine a spiritual
person should behave. When a so-called dharma practitioner is seen to behave badly, we shake our
heads over her audacity at presenting herself as a follower of the Buddha. Yet such judgments are better
avoided, because to “fit in” is not what a genuine dharma practitioner strives for.

Think of Tilopa, for example. He looked so outlandish that if he turned up on your doorstep today, you
probably would refuse to let him in. And you would have a point. He would most likely be almost
completely naked; if you were lucky, he might be wearing some kind of G-string; his hair would never
have been introduced to shampoo; and protruding from his mouth would quiver the tail of a live fish.
What would your moral judgment be of such a being? “Him! A Buddhist?” This is how our theistic,
moralistic, and judgmental minds work. Of course, there is nothing wrong with morality, but the point of
spiritual practice, according to the vajrayana teachings, is to go beyond all our concepts, including those
of morality.
...
Such is the strength of delusion and habitual tendencies that practicing Dharma might initially seem very
hard; but these difficulties will gradually subside.

Whatever meditation or reflection you have done, it will never be wasted. The benefit it brings will be
present in your mindstream at the time of your death, and will help you be reborn in a place where the
Dharma flourishes, near an authentic spiritual teacher. Life after life, you will evolve from a mediocre
into an average practitioner into an excellent one. The essence of learning is reflection, and the essence
of reflection is meditation. As you go deeper into the meaning of the teachings, the wondrous qualities
of the Dharma will become ever clearer, like the sun appearing ever brighter the higher you fly.

Anything you do that is in accord with the Dharma, however small or trivial it may seem, will be
beneficial.
...
Simply hearing the sound of the Dharma being taught—even the sound of the conches and gongs that
call the community to gather for teachings—has inconceivable blessings and benefits, the Buddha said,
and can liberate beings from rebirth in the lower realms.
...
And so, when attachment for the 'I' appears-and it is after all only a thought within our minds-we should
try to investigate.
The fact is, however, that even if we persevere in our search, we will never find anything. If we do not
find anything, how is it that we keep on clinging? All the trouble that we have had to endure until now
has been caused by something that has never existed! Therefore, whenever the ego-clinging arises we
must rid ourselves of it immediately and we should do everything within our power to prevent it from
arising again.
...
An unsuitable friend is one who is fond of distractions, totally immersed in ordinary worldly activities,
and who does not care in the least about achieving liberation—a friend who has no interest or faith in
the Three Jewels. The more time you spend with such a person, the more the three poisons will
permeate your mind. Even if you do not initially agree with their ideas and actions, if you spend a lot of
time with unsuitable friends, you will eventually be influenced by their bad habits. Your resolve to act
positively will decline, and you will waste your life. Such people will prevent you from spending any time
studying, reflecting, and meditating—which are the roots of liberation. And they will make you lose
whatever qualities you may have developed, especially compassion and love—which are the very
essence of the teachings of the Great Vehicle. An unsuitable friend is like a bad captain who steers his
ship onto the rocks. Such people are your worst enemy. You owe it to yourself to stay away from them.

In contrast, being with people who embody or aspire to gentleness, compassion, and love will
encourage you to develop those qualities so essential to the path. Inspired by their example, you will
become filled with love for all beings, and come to see the inherent negativity of attachment and hatred.
Authentic spiritual friends are those who have received teachings from the same teacher as yourself
and, detached from worldly concerns, are devoting themselves to practice in secluded places. In the
company of such friends, you will naturally be influenced by their good qualities, just as birds flying
around a golden mountain are bathed in its golden radiance.
...
Most people, thinking of the future, make a lot of plans but the future they plan for is only the very few
years of this life. This is very shortsighted; we have such a long way to go in lives to come. Death is just
the threshold, which we have to cross alone, aided only by our faith in the teacher and the Three Jewels
and by our confidence in the practice. Relatives, friends, power, wealth, and whatever else we have
become so used to relying on will simply no longer be there.
.........
If you merely talk about the view of emptiness but at the same time behave inconsiderately, it is said
that your conduct has become lost in the view. If you believe that, since everything is empty by nature,
it is all right to do whatever you want and it makes no difference whether your actions are virtuous or
non-virtuous, then your conduct has become “lost in the view.” All the great teachers say just the
opposite—that the more you understand the view of emptiness, the more aware and careful you are
regarding the law of cause and effect.
.........
There is no emotion that you cannot be rid of, because emotions are simply thoughts and thoughts are
just like the wind moving through the empty sky. There is nothing to them.
When you have truly attained the realization of this emptiness, you will be like the venerable
insect, we think, 'Ouch! I've been bitten. It hurts!' or, when someone says something unkind, we get
angry. That is a sign that we have not realized the mind's empty nature.
..........
Your view can, and should be, as high as possible—there is no danger in this, since enlightenment is the
total realization of the absolute view. But at the same time your behavior should be as grounded as
possible in an awareness of cause and effect. If you lose this basic attitude regarding actions, if you
forget all common sense and use the loftiness of the view as an excuse for putting into action whatever
comes into your mind, you are engaging in mundane activities contrary to the Dharma, just like ordinary
worldly people. … A spacious view and a thorough, careful attitude regarding your activities are never
contradictory. The more careful you are in whatever you do, the easier it is to realize emptiness; the
more profound your view, the clearer your understanding will be of the relationship between cause and
effect.
...
How does samsara come about? As we perceive everything around us with our five senses, all sorts of
feelings of attraction and repugnance arise in our minds, and it is from these feelings that samsara
arises.
The simple perception of things, in itself, is not what causes us to wander in samsara; it is rather
our reaction to these perceptions and the interpretations we place on them that keep the wheel of
samsara turning.
Now, the extraordinary feature of the Mantrayana is that, instead of perpetuating samsara in
this way, we can cultivate the perception of all phenomena as the pure display of wisdom.
........
Seeing clearly how deceiving the ways of the world are
Once you have understood the union of emptiness and the dependent arising of phenomena, you will
see clearly how deluded and deceiving the ways of the world really are, and, like an old man forced to
play children’s games, you will find them very tiresome. When you have realized the utter foolishness of
spending your life attached to friends and scheming to subdue your enemies and competitors, you will
find it tedious. Once you have been struck by the pointlessness of letting yourself be forever influenced
and conditioned by your habitual tendencies, you will become sick of it. ...
If you train your mind to recognize everything as insubstantial like a dream, hostility towards enemies
will lose its meaning entirely. This is crucially important, because ordinarily our lives are driven by the
yearning to acquire food and clothing, possessions, partners, status and acclaim.
We put a great deal of thought into devising the cleverest, most efficient ways to obtain them,
and we think, “So-and-so has this much money, my friends have this much, so I need more.” Or: “In the
past, I stayed in this kind of house, in this part of town, but now I shall move to a better place.” We must
put a stop to all such thinking. Some people spend all their energy, and even risk their lives to achieve
fame. Fame and notoriety are both no more than an empty echo. Discard it without a second thought,
Those who seek happiness in pleasure, wealth, glory, power, and heroics are as naive as the child who
tries to catch a rainbow and wear it as a coat.
Ordinary enjoyments are pleasurable in the beginning, but as time goes on, they become an increasing
source of torment. If you wrap a strip of wet leather around your wrist, it is fine at first, but as the
leather dries and shrinks, it tightens painfully. What a relief it is to cut it away with a knife!...

Once you have understood the union of emptiness and the dependent arising of phenomena, you will
see clearly how deluded and deceiving the ways of the world really are, and, like an old man forced to
play children's games, you will find them very tiresome. When you realised the utter foolishness of
spending your life attached to friends and scheming to subdue your enemies and competitors, you will
find it tedious.
Once you have been struck by the pointlessness of letting yourself be forever influenced and
conditioned by your habitual tendencies, you will become sick of it... That will inspire you to strive
towards liberation — and by striving for it, you will attain it. Samsara will never just disappear on its
own. You have to want to get rid of it actively yourself. We can never understand the nature of the mind
through intense effort but only by relaxing, just as breaking a wild horse requires that one approach it
gently and treat it kindly rather than running after it and trying to use force. So do not try to catch hold
the nature of the nature of the mind, just leave it like it is

...
Some people die young, some old, some from sickness, some in war, or because of a sudden violent
accident like falling off a cliff. Some die in their sleep, some while walking, some while eating. Some die
serene, some wracked by attachment for their relatives and possessions. We all have to die, no matter
how.
……..
A hidden yogi is a practitioner who does not mix with other people and become involved in worldly
activities, and who seeks neither fame nor followers. He [h]ums with an irresistible longing for spiritual
practice and has seized the root of Dharma- the determination to be free from Samsara. Now, you might
think: "If I renounce all worldly activity now, what will happen to me later? How am I going to find food,
lodging, and all the rest of it?"
But such deluded hesitations and anxieties could, if you allow them, dominate the rest of your life,
pulling the net of Samsara tighter and tighter. As long as these inveterate tendencies continue, so will
suffering.
You will never be a good Dharma practitioner until you are truly sick of ordinary life and know how
to be satisfied with whatever you have.

If you waste your life now on endless minor tasks, you can be sure that at the time of death you will
weep with regret and be stricken with intense anxiety, like a thief who has just been thrown into jail and
anxiously anticipates his punishment. A person might find himself with nothing to eat, no clothes to
wear, and no house to live in. But if his mind is filled with faith in his teacher and the Three Jewels, that
person will both live and die with his heart always joyful and confident.
Look at the country where you are now. How many people have ever heard the term “the Three Jewels”
or the sound of OM MANI PADME HUM? And how many have not? You can appreciate the rarity of
hearing the Dharma and the even greater rarity of meeting an authentic teacher. But even so-called
Dharma practitioners hardly know how to follow a spiritual teacher properly: they live with plenty of
expectations, plenty of defects, and plenty of wild thoughts. Using your human life to achieve trivial
aims is like storing garbage in a golden vase.
......…………………..
Living in Harmony
Many of us lead family lives. At most, the members of a family stay together for the duration of a single
lifetime, often much less. While that fleeting moment of being together still lasts, we should try to
remain in perfect harmony with each other, while observing the Dharma as much as possible. Night and
day, let us turn our minds toward goodness, love, and compassion. Doing a single prostration, saying a
simple prayer, contemplating the nature of the mind for an instant are seeds that lead to
enlightenment. To be united in this life as man and wife, parent and children, is the result of our past
actions, of a shared karma. That is why we should at all costs avoid quarelling and live in harmony.