Ticket Id: 204100
Dr Dev Desal Commented [esle1]: Desai
Gastroenterologist
City Hospital
Easton
30 August 2019
Dear Dr Desal, Commented [esle2]: Desai
Re: Mr. Adam Knowles, DOB: 22.08.1951 Commented [esle3]: 22/08/1951
(Preferred date format in the reference line and the
I am writing to refer Mr. Adam Knowles urgently, who has signs and symptoms suggested pancreatic malignancy. paragraphs.)
Your urgent assessment and endoscopy if he need is highly appreciated. Commented [esle4]: (Mention the patient's full
name at the first occurrence in the introduction
paragraph also.)
Today, Mr. Knowles presented with heartburn and indigestion for the last month not improved with omeprazole
tabs 20 mg BID. Mr Knowles complained of back pain. Recently, he developed diarrhoea, pale stool additionally, Commented [esle5]: suggesting
abdominal pain on eating and fatigue. Mr. Knowles has noticed that he lost 2 kg of his weight on last month now Commented [esle6]: and management are
weight was 92 kg. On examination, the abdomen was distended and tendered, and his skin and eyes were (Convey the purpose of the letter generally.)
yellowish in colour. Lab tests showed high serum bilirubin, amylase, ALT and albumin further more, slightly high of Commented [esle7]: twice daily
alkaline phosphatase. Therefore, the Provisional diagnosis was pancreatic malignancy for urgent refer to (Using Latin abbreviations is informal. Try to write full
gastroenterologist. English forms)
Commented [esle8]: , along with
Mr. Knowles was a recently retired management consultant, physically active, an ex-smoker for the last 10 years Commented [esle9]: , and his present weight is 92
and drinks socially. He underwent to cholycestectomy for gallstone at 2008. kg
Commented [esle10]: Laboratory
I will be grateful if you asses Mr. Knowles as soon as you can and manage him according to his provisional (Using note/short forms is informal)
diagnosis with pancreatic malignancy. Should you have any quires, please don't hesitate to contact me.
Commented [esle11]: ; additionally, he also had
(The following connectors/linking words are not
Yours sincerely, accepted in OET writing: so, because, moreover,
meanwhile, besides, furthermore, thus, hence,
Doctor thereafter, apart from this/that and later on)
https://edubenchmark.com/blog/list-of-linking-
Report connectors-to-avoid-in-oet-letter-writing/
Word Length 178 Commented [esle12]: a slightly high
Comments The purpose is stated and conveyed generally in the introduction, Commented [esle13]: a
but conclusion lacks clarity on the expected care/action. Commented [esle14]: cholecystectomy
The letter includes relevant case notes. The style is less formal in Commented [esle15]: in
places. An attempt to organize the content logically is seen, but Commented [esle16]: and perform an endoscopy
if necessary
order of information needs improvement in places. There are (Give details of expected care/action in conclusion.)
inaccuracies pertaining to spelling, vocabulary, punctuations, basic Commented [esle17]: do not
grammar and sentence structure. (Using contractions is informal.)
Overall, the letter needs improvement.
Estimated Grade C+
Estimated Score 310/500
Advice 1. Convey the purpose of the letter generally in the introduction.
Explain the expected care/action in detail in conclusion.
2. Always read and select case notes carefully.
3. Revise grammar.
4. Punctuate the content appropriately.
5. Pay attention to spelling.
6. Improve choice of words.
7. Improve coherence/paragraphing.
8. Use appropriate connectors/linking words to improve
progression of ideas.
9. Write the Latin abbreviation(s) in full English form(s). Use
expanded forms instead of contractions. Use expanded forms
instead of contractions.
10. Improve the structure of sentences.
11. Try to write at least 180 words.
12. Always proofread the letter after finishing it.
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Filename: 204100_OET.docx
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Documents
Template: /Users/macbookair/Library/Group
Containers/UBF8T346G9.Office/User
Content.localized/Templates.localized/Normal.dotm
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Subject:
Author: info@edubenchmark.com;OET
Keywords:
Comments:
Creation Date: 2/24/25 11:03:00 PM
Change Number: 2
Last Saved On: 2/24/25 11:03:00 PM
Last Saved By: esle
Total Editing Time: 0 Minutes
Last Printed On: 2/24/25 11:03:00 PM
As of Last Complete Printing
Number of Pages: 2
Number of Words: 690 (approx.)
Number of Characters: 3.938 (approx.)
