Xaden POV: Fighting Chance

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/57313108.

Rating: Not Rated

Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: F/M
Fandoms: The Empyrean - Rebecca Yarros, Fourth Wing
Relationships: Xaden Riorson/Violet Sorrengail, Xaden Riorson & Sgaeyl, Xaden
Riorson & Garrick Tavis
Characters: Xaden Riorson, Violet Sorrengail, Sgaeyl (Empyrean), Garrick Tavis
Additional Tags: POV Xaden Riorson, Book 2: Iron Flame (Empyrean)
Language: English
Stats: Published: 2024-07-12 Words: 4,183 Chapters: 1/1
 Xaden POV: Fighting Chance
by belle_beebee

Summary

The iconic first kiss moment from Chapter 12 of Iron Flame, retold from Xaden's perspective.

Notes
See the end of the work for notes
I’m awake early enough to see the sun eke out its appearance over Samara’s frozen grey
landscape. It’s hard to believe Basgiath is still basking in the summer heat when it feels like
we’re a whole world away. A world which Violet and Tairn will be arriving in four hours or
so. I can’t imagine her in this place.

There’s no way I’m spending the next twenty hours patrolling the borders, knowing Violet is
in my bedroom. If she’s sleeping in this bed, there’s no world where I’m not in it too. And I
wasn’t lying to Garrick yesterday either. I’m doing this for Sgaeyl as well. It is unacceptable
for her to only get a handful of hours with Tairn. It’s not a possibility.

“This stubborn streak is exactly why I chose you, Lieutenant,” Sgaeyl says, her voice still
thick with sleep.

“I doubt even you anticipated this particular scenario.” I bend down from my position on
the edge of my bed, tightening the laces on my boots.

Sgaeyl snorts. “Never under-estimate a dragon’s ability to forward plan.”

“Bonding with cadets in the same year would have made things a hell of a lot easier for
you.”

“In my experience, easy things are rarely worth their reward.”

My brow lifts at her tone. “Careful, that almost sounded like advice.”

A flurry of wings blows through our bond as she takes to the skies in hunt of breakfast.
“Don’t do me the dishonour of losing.”

There’s a thump at my door. “Wouldn’t dream of it,” I tell her with a grin.

My smile falls when I open my door to Garrick. His face is far too serious for so early in the
morning. “Don’t bother trying to talk me out of it, Garrick. It’s done.”

I shut the door behind me and start walking to the pits. Garrick falls into step beside me.
“You really think this is a good idea?”

“If you’re trying to say, ‘Don’t you think they hate you enough already’ just say that.” I pull
one arm across my chest, then the other, stretching out my shoulders as we start down the
stairs.

“Jarrett is fucking brutal, man.” Garrick looks… well, nervous. And he doesn’t do nervous.
“He’s who I sparred with last weekend when we were cooped up here.” He blows out a
breath, like he can’t quite believe what he’s about to say. “He beat me.”

“So? I can beat you too.”

Garrick moves ahead as we reach the bottom of the stairs, blocking the final corridor to the
basement. “On a good day.”
Because with Garrick, I fight with my signet locked down, preparing for an eventuality where
I’m forced to fight without it one day. Jarrett won’t be so lucky. Not where’s there so much at
stake.

“Let’s hope today’s a good day then.” I level a hard stare at him. He shifts to the side, moving
to let me pass.

“Things aren’t going to get any easier if you get leave every other weekend and take it off
them the next.”

The only thing that will make this easier is having Violet in my bed tonight. Whatever else
they throw at me, I can take it.

“I didn’t make the rules, Garrick.” There’s a hum of activity from the pits, several of the
riders who were on night duty, coming here first to decompress. The rest are presumably here
because they can’t wait to watch Jarrett beat the shit out of Fen Riorson’s son. “I’m sure if I
start winning a pass every week, Degrensi will find a way to change the rules pretty fucking
quick anyway.”

Garrick pushes open the door and holds it back with his body. “Oh, so you’re doing this for
some noble cause – not because you want to spend the next 48 hours with Violet in your
bed.”

I should be so lucky.

“Sure, brother.” I grin and slide past him, my gaze tracking over the faces of the riders
already lining the wooden rails that frame the pit. “Believe that if you want.”

He shakes his head and comes to stand next to me, arms crossed over his chest. “I hope you
lose. Just so I can see someone wipe that smirk off your face for a change.”

“Then bet against me.”

Garrick scoffs. “Not a fucking chance.”

Jarrett fights like he thinks, hard and brutal. He makes a decision and commits to it in the
exact same moment. There’s no hesitation and zero physical tells. Within a minute in the ring,
I can see exactly how he beat Garrick. Garrick is used to fighting people with sharp
intelligence and strategy. We trained the rebellion kids and the Fourth Wing cadets to make
feints, to adapt their style to match their opponents and use it against them. It doesn’t work on
Jarrett. There aren’t any feints. He throws everything into each move he makes. And because
of his size, each blow would land hard. Fucking hard.

Of course, that’s not exactly a problem for me. His intentions blare his next move like a battle
cry. He doesn’t take the extra half-second some fighters do to weigh up the right move, which
can make it harder for me to untangle their thoughts quick enough to respond. No, Jarrett’s
blows are far too easy to dodge. The challenge is making it look like a fair fight. I don’t want
to raise questions about how I beat him too easily. And because, well – I don’t want to make
Garrick look bad either.

I keep my shields locked down tight like I always do when I’m reading someone so fully,
never able to trust there’s not some other intinnsic around. My world narrows to the packed
dirt floor beneath our feet. And Jarrett’s next move.

He goes for my ribs and I dodge it, letting his momentum carry him too far and land my own
hit. He recovers quickly, circling me and goes for my kidneys next. It’s too easy to deflect. I
feint left, move right and grab him by the biceps to throw him backwards. He crashes into the
ground, dust and dirt flying up with the impact. A momentarily dazed expression passes over
his face, but then his eyes go hard. He doesn’t lose. He only wins.

Not today. His next move already flashes through my mind as he stands up.

Jarrett rushes at me, throwing his entire weight into every hit he tries to land. I dodge them all
and give the same right back. A jab to his ribs. A right hook that hits him so hard the impact
seems to ripple over his upper chest and along his shoulder. Vaguely I’m aware of the
shouting around us at the railings. The eyes of what must be every rider in this place
watching us and hoping I lose.

But I don’t pick fights I won’t win.

I grin at Jarrett. It pisses him off enough that he lowers his guard a fraction and I land a solid
hit to his jaw. The crack echoes out, bouncing off the rocky walls around us.

A blare of heat breaks through my shields. What the fu–

Violet’s here? She pulls all my focus, as whatever she’s thinking flares along our bond. My
gaze lands on her, finding her leaning over the railings at the side of the pit when she should
still have hours in the air. How is she–

Jarrett lands a blow to my jaw. I have a tiny moment to realise I was right. He hits fucking
hard. The force of it slams into me and my head snaps to the side with a jolt that echoes up to
my temples and down my spine. I stagger backwards, trying to keep on my feet. Fuck, that
hurt.

“Stop playing around and end it,” Violet says through our bond. Her voice in my head again
after so long… gods, I’ve missed her.

I grin as my eyes catch on hers once more. She knows me too well. I thumb the split on my
bottom lip and shake my head slightly. “Always so violent.”

It’s easy to dodge Jarrett’s next blows, each one far too overconfident now that he’s certain he
has the upper hand. I put my full weight behind my next two punches and Jarrett goes down
hard. Whatever Violet is thinking right now… that is the thing that’s difficult to fight against,
not this guy. He’s not even a worthy opponent. Any second in this ring is a second not with
her.
Jarrett collapses onto all fours, blood dripping out of his mouth onto the dirt. I step back from
him and offer out my hand to pull him up. A too-long minute passes where Jarrett tries to
remember how to breathe. There’s a moment where I wonder if he’s going to keep at it. But
then he gives up, a split second before he taps the floor twice in defeat. He spits blood out
and pulls himself up to stand, giving me the tiniest of nods.

I move closer to Jarrett and say under my breath so the other riders can’t hear me, “I only
need the first half. You take tomorrow.”

Jarrett’s eyes flick to Violet, who’s still tracking my every move, and they widen in
understanding. “Now it makes sense.”

I hoist myself out of the pit using the metal rings and grab the shirt I hung on the railing. The
other riders are already clearing out – late for morning patrols or headed for bed. There’s
none of the usual nods of respect for the win, or if there are I don’t notice them. All I can see
is Violet as I round the pit to get to her, standing near the door. Her cheeks are still flushed
from flying. Her hair is tied back in her usual braid, but one tendril has escaped, the silver
strand dangling at her ear like jewellery.

She’s talking to Sahalie about something, but Violet’s eyes never leave me. I feel her gaze
like a caress. It skims over my body, and I drink hers in just the same. Her flight leathers
wrap around her, accentuating every curve. I test the split in my lip once more with my
tongue and pull my shirt over my head.

“Good job, Riorson,” Sahalie says from somewhere far away, as Violet’s eyes crackle. Her
gaze tracks over my face and the bond between us feels like it’s on fucking fire.

Sahalie is still speaking. “– off the patrol roster for the next forty-eight hours.”

“Twenty-four,” I clarify, never looking her way. “I only need twenty-four hours. Jarrett can
have the other twenty-four.”

I don’t hear her response. I cock my head to one side, drinking in Violet in front of me. Not
hundreds of miles away. Here. Right here. And looking at me like – well, that.

I wait for the other riders to make their way out. Once we’re alone I say, “You’re early.”

She lifts a brow, her eyes sparking. “Is that a complaint?”

“No.” I shake my head slowly, wishing I could read her. Because I have a pretty good idea
what she’s thinking but I have absolutely no idea what I did to deserve it. “I just wasn’t
expecting you until noon.”

“Turns out Tairn flies pretty damned fast when he’s not being held back by a riot.” Her gaze
drifts to my mouth, and her tongue skims across her lower lip. I don’t need my signet to
know exactly what she intends. It’s written all over her face. But fuck, if I don’t want to hear
her say it. “Violet.”

She drags her eyes up to meet mine. “Hmm?”

“Tell me what’s spinning around that beautiful head of yours.” I move slightly closer to her,
still not quite touching. If I touch her, I won’t stop.

Her finger ghosts above the split in my lip. “Does it hurt?”

I shake my head. A tiny frown worries between her brows. She looks at me like she cares.
Like she more than cares. “I’ve had worse. It’s what I get for blocking with my shields to
concentrate on the fight. Otherwise, I would have felt you. Look at me.” I lift her chin up and
tilt her head back so she’s staring up at me. “What are you thinking? Because I can read a lot
into the way you’re looking at me, but I’m going to need the words.”

Her eyes flare the way they do when I have her in bed and tell her exactly how her body feels
wrapped around me. The look alone is enough to make my blood pound. Fuck, I want her. I
want to see her come undone beneath me. It feels like the most important thing in the world.

“I’m about three seconds away from carrying you up to my bedroom to continue this
conversation,” I tell her, as my hand slides along her jaw. I pause at her lower lip, my thumb
catching it slightly in an echo of how she touched me. Nothing more. She has all the power
here. But if she says the words, I’m hers.

“Not your room.” She shakes her head and I still. “You. Me. Bed. Not a good idea at the
moment.”

But it feels like a brilliant idea right now. “As I remember – which I do, often – we don’t
always need a bed.” It’s all I can think about. I need her. My hand tightens involuntarily on
her waist, trying not to pull her into me. I can’t tell what she wants. And the anticipation is
fucking killing me. “Violet?”

“Hypothetically, if I wanted you to kiss me but only kiss me–”

My lips find hers before she can finish her sentence. Gods, she feels exactly like I remember
her. Her taste, her smell, the feel of her lips on mine… all of it feels so fucking familiar it
almost hurts. We fit together perfectly. We should have been doing this the entire time. I can’t
remember why we weren’t. I groan at the feel of her, and she kisses me harder, her arms
reaching up to wrap around my neck and pull me closer.

Shadows slam the door to the pits closed as I press her up against the rough wall of the
chamber, desperate to feel more of her. I am addicted to the taste of her. My blood feels like
it’s on fire. I have the tiniest moment where I think to check this is her, that she wants this.
That this isn’t Sgaeyl and Tairn’s emotions messing with her somehow. But there’s nothing
from our dragons. The only thing in my head is the urgent, burning need that is Violet. And
fuck, do I need her.

I lift her up, my hands sliding under her thighs so that’s she level with me. It changes the
angle, and her mouth opens for me, her tongue sliding across mine. Her ankles lock around
my lower back and her hands fist in my hair, pulling me closer. It’s like that very first time at
the walls outside the citadel. The time where everything changed for me. I was already
desperately in love with her then. It was always going to lead right here. This kiss feels
inevitable. I couldn’t stop kissing her if I wanted to. Wouldn’t stop kissing her if my life
depended on it.

My hands run all over her body, relearning every dip, every curve. It floods my brain, my
head bursting with the memory of all those other times. Suddenly I can remember every bit
of how her body feels beneath me. She’s perfect. We’re perfect. Together like this.

“Like a moth to a damned flame,” she says through our bond.

“I’m more than willing to let you burn me.” The sound of her voice in my head again. The
feel of her lips on mine. It’s too much. No one gets everything they want. And yet here I am,
getting everything I could have ever wanted. She can have me however she wants. I’ll take
whatever tiny scraps of her she gives me.

I cradle the back of her head, putting my hands between her and the rough rock of the wall
and angle her head to kiss her deeper. I am so hard it’s almost painful, my blood pounding
through me. It’s taking everything in me to not take this further.

Her thoughts pelt at me through our bond and my own shields slip. Every wall between us
lowers as she kisses me like she never intends to stop. There’s only her need and mine,
wrapped up in each other. Deeper. More. I can’t tell if she’s said it to me or if I’ve lost all
control, in a way only Violet seems uniquely able to accomplish. But I give her what she
wants anyway. Not just because she tells me, but because I feel it in every move she makes.
The desperate, urgent need she has for me pounds through my blood too. She’s all I want. I
want her now. My whole body feels like it’s on fire.

Her hands slide through my hair. I kiss down her throat and suck on the skin at her neck, just
beneath her ear. Just how she likes it. She melts against me, her whole body slackening.

“Gods I’ve missed the taste of you,” I tell her. “The feel of you in my arms.” She pulls me
back to her lips in answer, and I draw her tongue into my mouth. The tiny moan that escapes
her makes me lose my mind. I want to hear every sound she has, want to be responsible for a
hundred more. My hands move up her waist, my fingertips skimming across the curves of her
body through her leathers. Fuck. What I wouldn’t give to –

She reaches for the buttons at her jacket like she’s read my mind.

No. The thought slams into me like a gut punch.

I don’t want to do this. It takes me a tiny second to realise the thought is mine and not hers.
The driving need in my body to have her says otherwise. But there’s a voice in the back of
my head that’s trying to tell me something. I don’t want her like this, both of us high on the
feeling of missing each other, frantic and needy. I want all of her to want all of me.
Everything. But I can’t stop myself from kissing her, from memorising how she feels beneath
me. I kiss her more gently, trying to let my frantic pulse slow and savour the taste of her.

“We should stop.” But I still can’t let go of her.

“What if I don’t want to?”

“We have to, or I won’t be able to keep the only kiss limitation of your hypothetical
question.” My hands drift lower, trying to find the strength to step away from her and lift her
to the ground. I kiss her once more. Twice. I don’t want to stop. I linger at her lower lip, as if
I can brand the taste of her into my head. “Fuck, I want you.”

“Then don’t stop,” she says out loud. Her voice cuts through the haze of need clouding my
thoughts. She looks me in the eyes, all challenge. “We can keep it to nothing but sex. We did
last year… Not that it worked well.”

But I don’t want just sex. Sex is the easy part. “Violet. You have no idea how badly I want to
peel these pants off your amazing ass and fuck you until you’re hoarse from screaming my
name, so limp from orgasms that you can’t fathom leaving my bed ever again, and every tree
around here goes up in flames from lightning strikes.” Saying every thought out loud is like
torture; I watch as her eyes flare with every word. But saying it gets the thoughts out of my
head too. Suddenly there’s space for all the reasons not to do this to exist again. My hand
slides from her head to the nape of her neck. “Until you remember exactly how good we are
together.”

“I never forgot.”

“I’m not talking about physically,” I say against her lips. I kiss her softly, trying to remind her
what we were to each other. What she still is to me now. What she’ll always be.

“Xaden,” she whispers, shaking her head.

She can’t forgive me yet. Or she still doesn’t trust me. Not really. That truth haunts her face,
lingering in her eyes. She used to look at me like she saw all of me and now… now she looks
at me and I see her slide a wall between us, like she’s scared of seeing me too closely.

“Exactly.” I lower her back to her feet. My hand still grips her waist, not quite able to bring
myself to stop touching her completely. “I want you more than my next breath, but I can’t
fuck you into looking at me like you used to. I refuse to use sex as a tool to get you back.” I
take her hand in mine and press it between our chests, just above her heart. “Not when I want
to be here.”

Her eyes widen – and I watch as that wall comes down between us once more.

“That’s what I thought.” I sigh, frustrated and exhausted in equal measure. Not just by how
much I want her, but because I can’t figure out what it is she wants from me to let me back in
to her heart. I’m certain that full disclosure isn’t the problem here. If she wanted to know,
she’d ask. She’s never had any problem demanding the truth.

Because the truth is fucking simple for me. I don’t want her for one night or two. I want her
and me. Forever.

“You still don’t trust me, and that’s all right,” I take a small step back from her. “I told you
I’m not in this for a battle. I’m winning the damned war. I’m a fucking fool for saying this,
but when haven’t I been a fool when it comes to you?”
“Excuse me?”

“Let me get this out.” I glance at her flushed, swollen lips, wishing I could shut myself up
and close the gap between us again. “I’ll kiss you whenever you want because my self-
control is shit where you’re involved–”

“Whenever I want?” Her brows shoot up.

“Yes, whenever you want, because I’ll live with my mouth attached to yours if I do it
whenever I want.” I put another few steps between us, needing the extra distance to stop
myself from touching her again. “But I’m begging you, Violet. Don’t offer me your body
unless you’re offering me everything. I want you more than I want to fuck you. I want those
three little words back.”

Her mouth parts slightly.

“It’s new territory for me too,” I admit, as much to myself as to her. I rake both hands through
my hair. My head is still playing catch up with the words coming out my mouth. Am I really
saying no to the very thing I spent weeks, months fantasising about? “No one is more
surprised than I am, trust me.”

She folds her arms over her chest. “I’m sorry, but weren’t you the one last year who said we
could have all the sex we wanted as long as we kept feelings out of it?”

“See? Fucking fool.” I was a fool then, and a fool now. “Last year, I would have used any
method it took to win you back, but for those three days you were unconscious, all I did was
sit there and watch you sleep, thinking of everything I would have done differently.” I swore
to her that things would be different. That I would find a way to let her in. That I could be
different. I could be the man she needed me to be. “This is me doing things differently. This
is me proving myself to you.” I pull the door open next to us and rest my hand on the small of
her back as we walk down the hall. “We’re not there yet, but you’ll trust me again at some
point.”

“Sure, as soon as you agree to stop keeping secrets from me.”

I don’t understand her. I don’t understand this whole fucking fight. Surely, she of all people
can see that trust works both ways. Otherwise, it’s not trust at all. “You need to trust me even
with secrets for this to work.”

She takes the stairs two at a time, clearly desperate to escape this conversation. “That’s not
going to happen.”

“It will.” I’ve never been more certain. And that tiny taste of her beneath me, wrapped around
me… it’s not enough. I want all of her and all of me. Together. Always.

And I’m willing to fight with her for it.

End Notes

After months and months writing and editing my first novel, I'm back at Basgiath for a little
creative reset. It is so much fun to be writing in this world again! Hope you enjoy this one-
shot for now. I'm writing some other favourite scenes from Iron Flame: Part One too. Stay
tuned!

Please drop by the Archive and comment to let the creator know if you enjoyed their work!