chasing the rabbit

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/37470475.

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero
Academia
Relationship: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku
Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Midoriya Izuku, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, Yagi
Toshinori | All Might, Shuuzenji Chiyo | Recovery Girl, Kaminari Denki,
Ashido Mina, Kirishima Eijirou, Sero Hanta, Uraraka Ochako, Iida
Tenya, Asui Tsuyu, Todoroki Shouto
Additional Tags: Fluff, Getting Together, Misunderstandings, Memory Loss, Happy
Ending, First Kiss, Temporary Amnesia, Light Angst
Language: English

⭐️
Collections: die hard bakudeku oneshots, bkdk yuh, BakuDeku, bkdk the world,

⭐️
Favorite, fluff fics, obscure bkdkbk, My Hero Stories Worth Your

🙏💯
Time , BKDK Fics I'll 100% Reread, bkdk euphoria ;)., lil’ bkdk box
of skittles (+others), BakuDeku Heaven, the pinnacle of bkdk fics ,
bakudeku fics i liked (and some others), M’s bkdk faves
Stats: Published: 2022-03-02 Words: 8,163 Chapters: 1/1
 chasing the rabbit
by mimiwrites

Summary

Katsuki gets hit by a quirk that makes him lose his memories, but not his feelings. When he
looks at people, he knows exactly what he feels towards them; respect, admiration,
friendship.

So why does he think Izuku is his boyfriend?

Notes
See the end of the work for notes
“Hey, kid.”

A disoriented boy blinked open his eyes, wincing at the fluorescent lighting above. The room
smelled sterile, so much so it burned his nose. He could hear the loud beep of a monitor
nearby. It was like each sense was booting back up, overwhelming him at once.

“Huh?”

When his vision focused, he saw before him three people; a small woman in a lab coat, a man
who looked more like a skeleton, and another man who looked like he hadn’t slept in a year.

He looked around the room, and realized he had no idea where he was, or how he got there.

“What…?” he started, his voice rough. God, was that his voice? “Where am I?”

“The hospital,” the tired man answered. “You passed out after that villain hit you with their
quirk.”

“I… what?”

The old woman smiled at him. “Don’t worry, there doesn’t appear to be any damage.
Although, you gave Midoriya quite a scare.”

He narrowed his eyes at the mention of the name. “Who?”

The three figures looked at each other, and he got the feeling he’d just said something very
wrong.

“I’m going to ask you a few questions,” the old woman said softly, suddenly devoid of
showing any emotion. “What is your name?”

“My name?” he repeated. What a dumb question. Of course he knew his own name. It’s…
It’s…

“Kid, calm down,” the tired man said. He didn’t realize he started breathing so heavily.

“What… What’s happening? Why can’t I remember my name? What’s my name?” he

pleaded with the tired man. For some reason, he felt like he could trust him.

“Your name is Bakugou Katsuki.”

He chewed on that for a few moments. Yes, that seemed about right. Of course, his name was
Katsuki. How could he forget that?

Katsuki looked down at his hands, they felt brand new to him. Has he always had that scar?
Why were his hands so calloused? He was so caught up in trying to remember his life he
didn’t notice the skeleton man taking a call. He wasn’t paying attention to what the old
woman and tired man were saying, either. He tried to think about what his parents looked
like, but nothing came to mind.

“I just got word from Tsukauchi,” the skeleton man said. Katsuki’s attention snapped back to
him. He couldn’t remember his name, but he felt like he knew him.

“And?” the tired man asked. Katsuki couldn’t be sure, but he almost sounded concerned.

“It’s a memory loss quirk.” the skeleton man explained. “Young Bakugou won’t be able to
remember anything until it wears off.”

“How long will that be?”

“It’s… unclear,” the skeleton man sighed. “Usually it's only a couple hours, but he got hit
pretty hard. The villain was on a quirk-enhancing drug.”

“Have Tsukauchi send me any information they have on this quirk,” the old woman said.

“There’s more,” the man continued. “He’s lost his memories, but not his feelings.”

“What the hell does that mean?” Katsuki asked. He saw the tired man’s lip quirk up for a split
second.

“You can’t remember who we are, but you can remember how you feel about us.”

Katsuki narrowed his eyes. That sounded like a load of bullshit.

“Perhaps if he works on remembering, the quirk will wear off faster,” the old woman
mumbled. “I’m going to research, you two work with Bakugou to see if he can get his
memories back.”

Katsuki was now even more confused with the new information. Was he going to be stuck
like this?

When the old woman opened the door, five people appearing around his age practically
spilled into the room.

“Is it true?” a boy asked in a panic. Freckles dusted his face, and he looked at Katsuki with
the biggest eyes he’s sure he’d ever seen. Katsuki felt his heart flutter.

What was that about?

“Kacchan really lost his memories?” the boy continued. Kacchan? Was that his nickname? It
seemed childish, but he found that he didn’t mind it at all.

“I should give you all detention for eavesdropping,” the tired man drawled.

“Please don’t kick us out!” A red headed boy shouted. ”We just wanted to make sure
Bakugou was okay!”
“Wait, Aizawa-kun,” the skeleton man said. So that was the tired man’s name... “This could
be good, they can help Young Bakugou regain his memories.”

Aizawa narrowed his eyes, but after a moment he turned back to Katsuki.

“Alright,” he said. “Start with me, then we’ll see how it goes.”

“Okay…” Katsuki stared at Aizawa and focused. He was surprised to find that he did feel
something familiar when he looked at him. “You’re someone I trust… Someone I respect.
You’re…” He trailed off with a huff, frustrated he couldn’t make sense of his feelings.

“Keep trying, Bakugou,” Aizawa encouraged.

Katsuki took a breath and let it out. This time when he looked at Aizawa, he focused on
chasing the rabbit of what he felt initially. Yes, he respected and trusted this man. He knew
this man had been there for him, had taught him. “You… You’re… my teacher?”

The others let out a sigh of relief and broke into grins. Aizawa gave him a small, proud
smile.

“That’s correct.”

“Whoa, really?” Katsuki asked. Maybe this plan could actually work. He still couldn’t
remember anything specific, but at least he wasn’t completely in the dark.

“Now try him,” Aizawa said, pointing toward the skeleton man.

Katsuki found this man a little harder to read. His emotions were strong, almost to the point
of being overwhelming. “You. I also respect you, like you’re my mentor. I look up to you.
But…” he narrowed his eyes as he tried to reel in his emotions again. “Looking at you makes
me kinda mad, and inspired and…” he almost didn’t want to admit the next part.

“And?” Aizawa asked.

“And kinda… scared and sad?” Katsuki sighed and looked down at his lap. “Does that…
make any sense?”

“It does, my boy,” the skeleton man said, sounding both solemn and proud. He put a hand on
Katsuki’s shoulder and it felt comforting, like maybe everything would be okay.

“What about me?” the red headed boy asked enthusiastically. He had a huge grin on his face,
and Katsuki couldn’t help but match it with his own.

“Heh. You. I respect you,” Katsuki said confidently. Something in him just knew he liked this
guy. “You’re… a friend.”

The redhead appeared moved by Katsuki’s words. “Yeah, man. Absolutely.” He reached out
his fist, and Katsuki bumped it with his own without a second thought. Hell yeah, he was
pretty good at this. Maybe he’d get his memories back soon after all.
“What… uh… about me?” the freckled boy asked nervously.

Katsuki tilted his head to the side towards him, and immediately his emotions went all over
the place. If he wasn’t sitting down already, he was sure he would have fallen backwards.

There was something special about this guy, something different from the others. From the
surface of his feelings he could tell the others in the room were his friends too, but it wasn’t
the same. This boy stood apart even from the redhead, who he’d guess was probably his best
friend. But when he looked at the freckled boy, his heart felt like it was being pulled in a
hundred different directions.

The boy fidgeted under Katsuki’s intense stare. Katsuki narrowed his eyes and tried to focus.
He had a lot of conflicting feelings… a lot … but the more he concentrated, he realized one
feeling stood out among the rest. One feeling was stronger than all the others. It made his
heart flutter and his chest feel full.

Oh. Of course.

“Are you my boyfriend?”

He did not expect the room to erupt into chaos. The freckled boy went beet red and the others
started screaming in delight. Katsuki felt his own face start to heat up as he tried to get the
freckled boy’s attention to see why everyone was reacting that way, but the guy wouldn’t
meet his eyes. Aizawa had to forcibly kick everyone out, their delighted laughter and
hollering echoing down the hall.

Katsuki looked over to Aizawa. “Was that… not right?”

Aizawa and the skeleton man shared a look Katsuki couldn’t read.

“That’s… Well… You see…” the skeleton man mumbled.

“Let’s try something else,” Aizawa said.

Katsuki was confused and embarrassed. He’d been spot on with the others, how’d he get this
one wrong? He was so sure… but judging by everyone’s reaction, he’d guess what he said
was either wrong, or maybe a secret. Katsuki really hoped it was the latter.

***

“Midoriya!” Denki cooed suggestively. “Is there something you’re not telling us?”

“N-no!” Izuku shouted and hid his face.

“I don’t know,” Mina teased. “Bakugou seemed pretty sure of himself.”

“We’re not—we’ve never—“ Izuku was beyond flustered. He felt like his heart was going to
explode. He’d had a crush on Katsuki for as long as he could remember, but it was never
reciprocated. Frankly, he was just happy to be friends again. He’d dreamed, of course, of
Katsuki being his boyfriend. This felt more like a nightmare.

“Hey, I’m sure it’ll be fine!” Eijirou patted him on the back. Izuku could tell he was trying to
hide his amusement. “I’m sure Recovery Girl will figure something out and he’ll be his old
self in no time.”

“But what if Kacchan never likes me after this?” Izuku cried.

“Oh, I’d say he likes you quite a lot,” Mina wiggled her eyebrows. Izuku groaned and felt
himself heat up even more.

“Are you sure there’s nothing going on between you two?” Denki asked with a wicked
smile.

“I have to go!” Izuku shouted as he practically ran back to his room. He knew everyone was
just joking around, they weren’t trying to be mean. It’s not like they knew about his feelings
for Katsuki. He hoped, at least. He couldn’t risk losing Katsuki again, and he knew he’d be
embarrassed and likely upset when he got his memories back. Izuku would just have to avoid
him until then.

***

Katsuki looked around his room, trying to spark any sort of recognition from the few things
he did have. He looked at the photo on his wall, but didn’t know when he’d taken it. Katsuki
traced his finger down the spine of a book on his desk, but had no idea what it was even
about. He picked up a keychain of some hero and twirled it in his hand, but nothing came to
him. It seemed only people sparked his memories.

He walked to his desk and set down the folder Aizawa had given him. It was full of all his
classmates’ and teachers’ photos and names. From the few pages he flipped through, he could
pinpoint exactly how he felt if he focused hard enough. There was only one that still
confused the hell out of him.

He pulled out the freckled boy’s photo. Midoriya Izuku, huh? He wished the name alone
could make him remember everything. He was so damn sure earlier, but now he felt like he
was floating alone in an ocean with no lifejacket. If he and Izuku weren’t boyfriends, what
the hell were they?
He needed to talk to him to understand what was going on. Surely Izuku knew something the
others didn’t.

Before Katsuki stepped out, he stopped at his mirror. He realized he couldn’t remember what
he looked like. Turning to look at himself, he was hit with a tidal wave of emotions.

He could only bear it a few moments before he had to look away and rushed out the door.

***

Izuku wanted to bury himself in a hole for a month. When they all got back from the hospital,
everyone had asked how Katsuki was doing, which prompted a play by play from Denki and
Mina of everything that transpired. Including Katsuki thinking Izuku was his boyfriend.

He escaped to some couches with his friends, but even there he wasn’t safe from
interrogation.

“Midoriya, are you and Bakugou engaged in a secret relationship?” Tenya asked seriously.

“No!” Izuku repeated for the hundredth time. Even his own friends…

“We wouldn’t be mad if you were,” Ochcako said as she placed a soothing hand on Izuku’s
shoulder.

“We’re really not…” Izuku mumbled.

“But you wish you were,” Tsuyu said.

“Tsuyu!” Izuku buried his face in one of the couch pillows.

“What? You do.”

“Hey, maybe this is a sign,” Ochako added. “Maybe this means he likes you too!”

“Not a chance,” Izuku whined, voice muffled by the pillow. “I really have no idea what made
him think that.”

“Don’t worry, Midoriya,” Iida patted him on the back, hard enough to knock the wind out of
him. “I’m sure Bakugou will get his memories back in no time.”

“That’s part of what I’m afraid of…” he mumbled. “He’s probably not gonna want to see me
again.”

“Hey.”
Izuku jumped at the sound of Katsuki’s voice. Sure enough, when he looked up from behind
the pillow, Katsuki was standing there with his hands in his pockets.

“Wah—chan!” Izuku yelled. His cheeks were on fire. Katsuki didn’t hear all that, did he?

“Bakugou-kun!” Ochako smiled. “How are you feeling?”

“I feel fine,” Katsuki shrugged. “Still can’t remember shit.”

“Would you like to try remembering us?” Tenya asked. “Aizawa-sensei said we should try
and help you regain your memories.”

Katsuki turned towards him. Iida Tenya, he remembered from his cheat sheet Aizawa gave
him. He got the feeling the guy was kind of a tight ass, but he wasn’t going to just come out
and say that. The glasses seemed familiar. He also found that he trusted the guy.

“You’re a leader,” Katsuki started. “Maybe… class president?”

“Amazing!” Iida exclaimed. “Correct!”

“What about me?” Tsuyu asked, putting a finger to her chin.

Katsuki narrowed his eyes on her. He felt slight annoyance, slight amusement, and again, like
with the others, trust and respect. “Why do I get the feeling you tease the hell out of me?” he
asked with a quirk of his lips.

“Don’t worry, she teases everyone,” Ochako smiled.

When Katsuki looked at her, he tilted his head in thought. Her face seemed familiar,
specifically the marks on her cheeks.

“What?” she asked curiously.

“A bunch of stuff comes up for you.”

“Like what?” She almost sounded nervous, but Katsuki couldn’t understand why.

“Strong, kind, leader, comrade,” he listed off as they came to him. She had a surprised blush
on her face. “Somethin’ else too, but it’s more like a feeling rather than a word. Like…” He
scrunched his face as he tried to place it. “Like we have something in common.”

Tsuyu and Ochako shared an amused, knowing glance. He felt a little exposed by his own
admission, though he still couldn’t remember what the understanding between him and
Ochako was. Maybe…

Katsuki turned to look at Izuku, who let out a startled squeak. Izuku seemed to have been so
fascinated watching Katsuki try and remember everyone, he forgot he was also there.

Katsuki opened his mouth to say something, but Izuku leapt up from the couch.
“I just remembered I have to get my notes from someone, I’ll see you guys later!” he blurted
before making a quick escape.

“He took the couch cushion,” Tsuyu noted.

“Deku-kun, wait!” Ochako called out, but he’d already turned the corner.

Katsuki narrowed his eyes and turned on her. “Why did you call him that?”

She looked confused for a moment before understanding. “Deku? It’s his nickname.”

“Why the hell would that be his nickname?” Katsuki huffed. It seemed pretty messed up to
call someone useless, and it really didn’t sit well with him to hear it used to refer to Izuku.

“But…” Ochako looked at the others.

“You’re the one who gave him the nickname,” Tsuyu said.

Katsuki’s stomach dropped. “I did?” He shook his head in disbelief. There’s no way. No way.
“Why the hell would I call him that?”

“I think that’s something only he can answer,” Ochako said cryptically.

Katsuki huffed in frustration. “Yeah, right, if he doesn’t run away first.” It struck him that this
could be why Izuku doesn’t want to talk to him—does he bully him? Is he afraid of him?

That didn’t make sense. Well, he supposed it did a little, as he remembered some of the
confliction he felt looking at Izuku. But then why…

He needed answers. If Izuku was going to run away from him, another face popped into his
head for who he could go to.

He refused to believe Izuku hated him. He knew they were close. He just knew it.

***

Katsuki walked through the dorm until he finally saw that redhead from earlier. He was with
a few others, and seeing them all together made something bloom in his chest. These were his
friends. These were his people.

“Bakugou!” Eijirou shouted with a toothy grin. He waved excitedly for Katsuki to join their
little group.
“Hey,” Katsuki nodded. Eijirou held out his fist again, and Katsuki bumped knuckles without
thinking.

“Wait, wait, I want one too!” Hanta put out his fist, so Katsuki bumped knuckles with him
too. Then Denki and Mina demanded he fist bump them as well.

“Is this something we do?” Katsuki asked. He couldn’t tell why they seemed so excited over
a little thing.

“Oh yeah, we totally have a secret handshake,” Denki grinned.

Katsuki knitted his brow. “I don’t remember that.”

“That’s ok, we’ll teach it to you!” Mina said. Everyone’s giggling was very suspicious, but he
still felt like these were his friends so he decided to just trust them for now.

“We were just about to head to the kitchen, you hungry?” Eijirou asked.

Katsuki shrugged. “Sure.”

“So,” Mina leaned towards him as they walked. “What do you remember about us?”

“You guys are…” Katsuki smirked. “Kinda annoying.” The group groaned and deflated.

“Same old Bakugou…” Hanta mumbled.

“But I like you guys, anyway,” Katsuki added. “I get the feeling we’re close. I can tell you
guys mean a lot to me.”

That seemed to almost startle them, and Eijirou and Mina even got teary eyed.

“Dude!” Eijirou cried. “That’s so cool!”

“We love you, too!” Mina leapt up and hugged him.

“Uh, yeah,” Katsuki said awkwardly as he patted her on the back.

“I kinda want him to stay like this,” Denki said.

Hanta eyed Katsuki wearily. “I don’t know, it’s kinda freaking me out.”

“I was actually hoping I could ask you guys some stuff,” Katsuki said.

“Yeah, man!” Eijirou smiled. “We’ll help you get your memories back.”

Katsuki gave a small smile back. Yeah, he knew he could depend on them.

They turned the corner, and nearly ran straight into Izuku.

Izuku began to stutter out an apology before realizing who he’d run into. Katsuki watched
with his own wide eyes as Izuku’s shot open.
“Hey,” Katsuki started, reaching out. He wasn’t sure what for, he just wanted to touch him.
Maybe grab him so he couldn’t run away again.

But Izuku was quick, and immediately scurried by them.

“Ah, sorry, I’m, uh, late for something!” Izuku blurted. He was gone before Katsuki could
demand an explanation.

He sighed in disappointment. “What’s his deal?”

Eijirou wrapped an arm around his shoulders and continued to walk him towards the kitchen.
“Don’t worry, man. I’m sure he’ll come around soon.”

“But why does he keep running like that? And why do I…” Katsuki sighed hopelessly.

Mina and Denki grabbed some snacks for them all and they sat at one of the tables. Katsuki
grabbed the spicy chips without even thinking.

“He’s probably just embarrassed,” Denki offered. “Cuz, ya know, what you said back at the
hospital.”

“So he and I aren’t…?” Katsuki asked.

Mina shook her head with sympathy. “Nope. Sorry.”

“Huh.” Even after hearing it over and over, it still didn’t feel right.

“You probably just got mixed up,” Eijorou said. “You guys have known each other for a long
time.”

“We have?” Katsuki asked, perking up at the new information.

“Yeah, you guys were childhood friends!”

Katsuki thought about that. He supposed that could be it, he did feel they had a deep bond,
perhaps it could have been just friendship. But it felt so special, so different from everyone
else. It felt like more than that.

But there was something else, too.

Katsuki narrowed his eyes. “What’s with the ‘Deku’ thing?”

“Ah…” Eijirou looked to the others for support. “Well, when we all started at U.A., you
seemed really… standoffish towards him.”

“More like downright hostile,” Hanta snickered before Mina smacked his arm. “Ow! Hey!”

“You were actually pretty rough and tough towards everyone at first,” Mina said, stealing one
of Katsuki’s chips. “But you’re more bark than bite.”

“It was different with Midoriya, though,” Denki said. “It was personal.”
Katsuki’s stomach plummeted further and further with each new detail they gave him, but
still he had to know. “How so?”

“You used to bully him,” Eijirou said hesitantly. When he noticed Katsuki’s face drop, he was
quick to add, “but you guys are much better now!”

“Much, much better,” Denki suggested with a cheeky grin and wiggled his eyebrows.

“You’re a good dude, really!”

Despite Eijirou’s sincerity, Katsuki was having trouble believing it. How could he ever bully
someone like Izuku, or anyone for that matter? Sure, he felt the natural desire to tease his
friends, but it wasn’t malicious. He hadn’t felt anything like that for anyone he’d met yet, at
least since he woke up.

“You’ve totally saved our butts like, a bunch of times,” Mina said.

“I have?” Katsuki asked.

“Yeah!” Eijirou agreed. “You’re the best tutor I’ve ever had! Even if you can be kinda
demanding… but I’ve never had better grades!”

“It’s still just a C+,” Denki snickered.

“I don’t want to hear anything from a C-.”

“And there was that time we kicked Class B’s asses,” Hanta grinned. “You were a
surprisingly good leader.”

“And,” Denki interjected before Katsuki could ask about it, “there was that time that you
helped us with that one thing in that one place, remember?”

Katsuki gave him a blank stare. “No?”

Denki shrugged. “Oh, well. I’m sure it’ll come back to you eventually.”

“I get the feeling that whatever it is, it was your fault and it pissed me off.”

Everyone else laughed and Katsuki couldn’t hide his grin. Yes, this felt right.

“See!” Hanta howled. “He is remembering!”

Denki whined that Mind was equally to blame, which resulted in her trying to wrestle him
from across the table. Katsuki had about a thousand more questions, mostly about Izuku, but
he didn’t feel like they’d have the answers. Instead, he decided to drop it for now, and let
himself laugh along as his friends told him stories of their adventures together. He’ll find
Izuku later and make sure he doesn’t get away again.
 ***

Izuku nearly ran into five more of his classmates in his haste to get away. He hadn’t felt this
nervous around Katsuki in ages, and while it sucked to see the confusion on his face as he ran
away, it was better than the alternative.

“Gotcha!” Ochako shouted as she smacked Izuku on the arm. He promptly started to float up
to the ceiling.

“Wah! Uraraka! Please put me down!” Izuku flailed around in the air helplessly.

“Not until you agree to talk to Bakugou-kun!” she said through puffed out cheeks.

Izuku covered his face. “I can’t!”

“You can’t avoid him forever, Deku-kun.”

“I’m not avoiding him forever! Just until he gets his memories back…”

Izuku suddenly dropped to the floor, only barely landing on his feet.

“How come?” Ochako asked.

“I just… don’t want to confuse him,” Izuku mumbled. It wasn’t the whole truth, but he hoped
it would be good enough.

“I think he’s more confused that you won’t even stay in the same room as him.” Ochako
sighed, she truly felt for both of her friends. “Maybe if you talk to him, it’ll help him
remember.”

“But…”

“But what?”

“What if he’s angry?” Izuku fiddled with his fingers. “Kacchan is a private person, he’s not
going to be happy about this.”

“I’m sure you’re right, but I think he’ll feel better if you talk to him.” Ochako smiled at him
reassuringly.

“I don’t know…” He wanted to believe her, but…

“Is this about the boyfriend thing?” she asked.

“Of course it is!” Izuku groaned.

“Are you worried he doesn’t reciprocate? Or worried that he does?”

Izuku felt a cold sweat coat over him. “I… I’m not sure…” he replied honestly. “Besides,
there’s no way he does, and he’s going to be so upset when he remembers that.”

“I don’t think you’re giving Bakugou-kun enough credit,” Ochako said. “He may be private,
but he’s very intuitive. I don’t think he would’ve said that if he didn’t have anything to base it
on.”

“I guess…” Izuku mumbled. He knew objectively of course that she was right. Katsuki was
smart, calculating, and far more empathetic than he let on. Izuku had seen him at his most
emotional points, but if he liked him back, surely Izuku would’ve noticed, right? He’s been
watching him for so long, there’s no way he would’ve missed it.

But the possibility that Katsuki could have romantic feelings for him of all people seemed
absolutely impossible.

“What’s so bad about him having feelings for you?” Ochako asked.

“What if it ruins everything?” Izuku said quietly. “I can't lose him again.”

Ochako smiled softly and reached out her hand to him. “I don’t think that will ever happen,
no matter what.”

Izuku smiled back and took her hand. “Thanks.”

“It’ll work out,” she said. “You guys have always found a way to overcome any challenge
together.”

Izuku squeezed her hand before letting go.

“Just think about it, okay?” Ochako encouraged.

“Yeah,” Izuku nodded. “I will.”

If he was going to think about this, he’d need to do so somewhere he won’t be bothered. He
quickly ran to his room, grabbed a pen and notebook, then headed for the roof.

***

After hanging out with his friends, Katsuki needed some time to himself to take it all in. As
much as he enjoyed their stories, he couldn’t push away the guilty feeling that came with the
knowledge that he bullied Izuku. In his heart, he knew it all along. If what everyone had been
saying about him was true, a part of him hoped to never get his memories back. It squeezed
his heart painfully to know that he caused some amount of misery for the boy. But he was
certain he had been making up for it. And if he wasn’t, he damn well was going to start.
Looking at Izuku was like going on a rollercoaster. The emotion surged up in him stronger
than it had for anyone else. Katsuki hadn’t gotten anyone else wrong, so why did he make a
mistake with Izuku? It didn’t make sense.

He wished he could ask Izuku about it, but of course, he was nowhere to be seen. That guy
had him on the run around, and it was really starting to piss him off. Everyone else will talk
to him, so why did he keep running away? Katsuki decided the next time he saw him, he
wouldn’t let him get away without some answers. But first, that meant finding him.

Unfortunately, his surroundings didn’t invoke emotion like people did. He wondered if he
just didn’t feel attached to the place, or if that was a facet of the quirk he got hit with. He had
to look at a map Aizawa had given him so he wouldn’t get lost looking for Izuku’s room.

Katsuki took a steadying breath, then knocked on the door.

He waited, but no one answered.

“Hello?” Katsuki called out. “It’s, uh, me.” He knocked again and listened closely, but there
wasn’t the sound of rustling or footsteps behind the closed door. If Izuku was in there, he was
doing a good job of hiding it. Katsuki sighed and knocked his forehead against the door.

“Oh, Bakugou,” came a voice beside him. Katsuki looked over and was face to face with a
boy with red and white hair. His eyes were mismatched, too. Huh, he thought, half and half.
He looked like a friend, too, but also a rival. Something about him made Katsuki want to
work his ass off to be better.

“You’re… Todoroki,” Katsuki recalled.

“If you’re looking for Midoriya, he’s not there,” Shouto said. “I saw him leave about an hour
ago, and he hasn’t been back since.”

Katsuki clicked his tongue, was Izuku really hiding from him? “Do you know where I can
find him?”

“Are you going to fight him?”

“What?” Katuski balked. “No! I just wanna talk to him!”

Shouto shrugged. “Just checking.”

“Is that… something we do a lot?” Katsuki asked hesitantly.

“You two are pretty infamous for it,” Shouto explained. “But now it’s more friendly.”

“We fight… in a friendly way?”

“Seems that way.”

Well now Katsuki was more confused. This guy was kind of aggravating. “And where would
we do that?” Katsuki asked, a little annoyed.
“It depends.” Katsuki was about to roll his eyes before Shouto continued. “But usually the
gym with All Might. Maybe ask him?”

That… actually wasn’t a bad idea. Katsuki nodded at him. “Thanks.”

“What?” Shouto asked.

“I said, thanks.”

“Again?”

“What’s your deal?” Katsuki growled, now fairly annoyed.

Shouto smiled softly with amusement. “You’ve never thanked me, I just wanted to see how
many times I could get you to say it before you get your memories back. I guess twice is your
limit.”

Katsuki scoffed and rolled his eyes as he moved to walk past him to find All Might.

“Good luck,” Shouto called.

Katsuki wondered why he was friends with so many annoying people. He couldn’t feel too
mad about it, though. For as much they may annoy and tease him, he cared about them. He
was pretty certain they cared about him, too.

As Katsuki walked down the hall to find All Might, he stopped at the doorway to the
stairwell. It was just slightly cracked open, and something was calling him to it.

When he stepped inside, he didn’t see anyone. He looked up, and once again had that same
feeling. It wasn’t like the emotions, but he wouldn’t go as far to call it memory, either. He just
felt instinctively pulled, so he took the steps higher and higher until he reached the top. The
door clearly said to only be used in emergencies, but it looked like it had been ignored. There
was a small rock keeping it ajar, probably so it wouldn’t lock shut. Someone was on the roof,
and Katsuki had a pretty good guess of who it was.

***

Time was lost to Izuku as he sat alone on the roof. He actually started coming up here with
Katsuki a few months ago. It was a safe place where they could talk about One for All
together, but eventually they started talking about other stuff, too. Izuku relished the fact that
he got to spend time with Katsuki away from everyone else. It was their own secret hideout.

It felt dreamy at times, with the stars overhead or the sun setting behind the clouds. Izuku
was sure Katsuki didn’t think of their secret meetings as “dreamy,” but that didn’t really
bother him. Things were good between them, and he didn’t want to throw water into oil by
confessing his feelings.

Which is why Katsuki’s outburst earlier made things incredibly difficult.

He was terrified to entertain the idea of them as boyfriends. Boyfriends! It made him feel
giddy and sick. To hear Katsuki actually say that was like poison, because now it was all he
could think about and it was killing him.

He brought his notebook and began jotting down all his chaotic thoughts. It was easier to
organize the mess when it was laid out in front of him. He loved to analyze, but it’s harder
when the person you’re analyzing is yourself.

Even more so when you’re analyzing if your best friend and crush has feelings for you.

He made lists, wrote two short essays, drew up compare and contrast charts. Every time he
came back to the same, sad conclusion: there was no way Katsuki liked him like that.

Izuku was so focused chasing around his messy thoughts that he didn’t notice the door behind
him open. He paid no attention to the sound of footsteps behind him until he heard a familiar
voice.

“Gotcha.”

Izuku yelped and nearly threw his notebook. He whirled around and came face to face with
red eyes glaring down at him. For a moment, he wondered if Katsuki had gotten his
memories back, but there was an unfamiliar glint of uncertainty in his eyes that told him
otherwise.

“Kacchan! I–Um–Was just about to go back to my room!” Izuku lied, making to stand up. By
the look on Katsuki’s face, he didn’t buy it.

“Oh no you don’t,” Katsuki said before plopping down cross legged in front of him. “Not
until you talk to me.”

Izuku swallowed nervously. “There’s nothing to talk about, really!”

“What’s that?” Katsuki asked, leaning in towards his notebook. Izuku shut it before he could
read anything.

“Nothing!”

Katsuki narrowed his eyes. “Why do you keep lying to me?”

“I–Well, I, um…” Izuku trailed off, unable to even look into Katsuki’s eyes.

“I don’t get it,” Katsuki shook his head. “I feel all these things when I look at you, and
everyone keeps saying we’re friends, but then you act like you hate me! And I–”

“I don’t hate you!” Izuku was quick to interrupt, finally looking at him.
“Then why do you keep running away?”

The look in Katsuki’s eyes filled Izuku with immense guilt. “I just… don’t want you to be
mad at me.”

Katsuki’s face twisted in confusion. “Why would I be mad at you?”

“Maybe you aren’t right now, but… later… when you remember…”

“I won’t be,” Katsuki assured him.

“How do you know that, though?” Izuku asked in a small voice.

“I just feel it.”

“Ah…” He knew that when Katsuki got like this, there was no point arguing with him.

“So will you talk to me?”

Izuku twisted his hands together. He had a bad feeling, but even without memories Katsuki
was persistent and stubborn. He couldn’t keep avoiding him, Katsuki would probably track
him down and tie him to a chair. Izuku sighed. “Okay…”

Katsuki let out a breath and seemed to relax a little. He looked closely at Izuku, properly
now, without distractions.

“When I look at you, I get a lot of mixed signals,” Katsuki said softly. “It was like that when I
looked in the mirror, too.”

Izuku gave him a puzzled look. He hadn’t considered what would happen if Katsuki looked
in a mirror, that the quirk would have a similar effect. “Like what?” he asked, his curiosity
getting the better of him.

“Pride, anger, guilt, shame, regret,” Katsuki admitted. It broke Izuku’s heart to know Katsuki
had been carrying that around unspoken. “And I felt that when I looked at you, too. But then,
the longer I look at you, more feelings come up. Better ones. The reason I thought you were
my boyfriend, Izuku,” Katsuki looked him right in the eye, and Izuku’s mouth went dry, “is
because I have feelings for you.”

“What…” Izuku whispered. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “I don’t understand…”

“When I look at you it’s like, I know you’re my person,” Katsuki continued softly. “I look at
you and I want to fight you, but also protect you, I want to be around you, and talk to you,
and hold your hand, and kiss you–”

“No way, there’s no way,” Izuku interjected, promptly standing up and shaking his head.
Katsuki had been hit by a powerful quirk, he didn’t know what he was saying. Izuku had to
protect Katsuki from himself. “There’s just no way, you must be confused–”
“Don’t tell me I don’t know how I feel!” Katsuki got up and shouted. The desperation in his
voice shut Izuku up immediately. “I may not know anything else right now, but I know how I
feel. That’s the only damn thing I’m sure about right now.”

Izuku stared at him in shocked silence. It was like the entire world stopped and it was just
them.

“Everyone keeps saying I must’ve gotten it wrong,” Katsuki continued, more quietly this
time. “But I’m so certain about this. Everything else has been confusing and blurry, but I
know this is right. I know how I feel about you!”

Even though they were on the roof, Izuku felt like all the air around him just evaporated. The
longer he stayed quiet, the more Katsuki’s face fell.

“Do… you not feel the same way?” Katsuki asked hesitantly.

“It’s–” Izuku cleared his throat. “It’s not that, really. It’s just…” he sighed, trying to find the
words. It all seemed so much simpler on paper. “I just really had no idea. I’m sure there’s a
reason you haven’t… told me any of this before.”

“Well, whatever it is, I’m sure it ain’t a good one,” Katsuki huffed. He paused for a couple
moments to think. “There’s really nothing going on between us?”

“Well—I—Um, no?“ Izuku didn’t sound at all convincing. His face began to burn, and
Katsuki broke out into a wicked grin.

“I knew it!”

“No! I mean, we’ve never even—we haven’t—“

For every inch Katsuki leaned in towards him, Izuku leaned back.

“What? Kissed?”

Izuku nearly choked on his own tongue. “No! We haven’t done anything, I swear!”

“But you do like me, right?”

“That’s not the point…” Izuku mumbled. He knew he was blushing harder than he ever had
in his whole awkward life.

Katsuki crossed his arms. “I don’t get it. If you like me and I like you, why aren’t we
together?”

“It’s more complicated than that…”

“Why?”

“Well, for starters, I didn’t even know you returned my feelings.” Katsuki smiled wide when
Izuku said ‘returned.’ “And you don’t have your memories back yet, so I don’t think it’s fair
to you to have this conversation now. Plus, we’ve still got to deal with everything after
defeating Shigaraki and All for One, and–”

“Okay, okay, I get it,” Katsuki grumbled. “Man, this sucks. I better start remembering things
soon. Now that I know how you feel, too, I just wanna grab your face.”

Izuku’s embarrassment and elation were overshadowed by the realization that, yes, at some
point Katsuki will get his memories back. They’ll probably have to have this conversation
again, but would it have a happy ending?

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Katsuki asked.

Izuku looked down and fumbled with the hem of his shirt. “I’m just worried that when you
remember, you’ll never want to see me again.”

Katsuki put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “Look, I may not remember anything between
us, but I know for a fact that I care about you.” His confidence was something not even
amnesia could take from him. “You’re important to me, and that’s not gonna change. I
promise.”

His words affected Izuku more than he was ready to handle, and he couldn’t help it as the
tears welled up in his eyes.

“Aw, shit,” Katsuki groaned. “I’m just makin’ it worse, aren’t I?”

Izuku laughed and shook his head. “No, I’m just… really happy to hear you say that.”

Before he knew it, Izuku was being pulled into Katsuki’s arms. The embrace was firm and
warm, and Izuku breathed it all in. It was probably the best hug he ever had, though he’d
never dare tell his mother that.

Izuku let himself enjoy it, but after a while, it started to get a little awkward.

“Um, Kacchan,” Izuku mumbled into his shoulder.

“Hm?” Katsuki didn’t appear fazed.

“Well, we don’t really ever… hug.”

“We should. This is nice.”

Izuku smiled. “Yeah.”

When it got too cold, they finally went back inside and joined the others. Everyone talked for
hours, sharing their favorite Katsuki stories to try and help him remember. Katsuki laughed
along with Izuku, staying by his side the entire night. It was a sound Izuku hoped he would
get to hear more of in the future. He hoped that when he woke up, this all wouldn’t have just
been one of his daydreams that got out of hand. He hoped he would get to continue being this
close to Katsuki forever.
When they eventually said goodnight, Katsuki held his hand as he walked him to his room
and gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek. Izuku went to sleep impossibly warm with
butterflies in his stomach.

***

When Katsuki opened his eyes, it was morning, and he recognized that he was in his room.

He remembered what page he was on in the book on his desk, he remembered taking that
photo with his friends on the wall, he remembered the keychain hanging on his wall was
given to him by Izuku.

All at once, he remembered everything regarding Izuku.

Katsuki groaned and dragged his hands down his face. Why couldn’t he just keep his damn
mouth shut? He had been doing so well at not giving in to his selfish heart. But now the cat
was out of the bag. He was stupidly, undeniably sweet on Midoriya Izuku.

His heart pounded as he remembered every detail of their interaction on the roof. Izuku
hadn’t outright said he wanted them to be together, but that wasn't the point. That was never
the point. He was trying to save Izuku from himself, that self-sacrificing fool.

Then he remembered how he kissed him and turned around to groan into his pillow.

Sooner or later, Katsuki was going to have to talk to him. He wouldn’t be able to avoid this,
and the longer he waited the more the knots in his stomach would tighten.

He flipped back over and stared at the ceiling, making his mind up.

“Fuck.”

Luckily, it was early enough in the morning that he didn’t run into anyone as he made the
journey to Izuku’s room. His hands were so sweaty he had to keep wiping them on his pants.
Maybe now that he was his old self again, Izuku wouldn’t want him. Maybe, after having
time to think about it, he would realize they were better off as friends. Maybe Katsuki should
be the one to keep it that way. He’d rather have friendship than nothing at all.

Katsuki took a deep breath when he finally stood in front of Izuku’s door. He could do this.
He’s faced worse things, villains were much scarier than this. But at least with villains he
could punch his way out. He wouldn’t be able to do that here, not if he wanted to convince
Izuku to keep him around.

Katsuki knocked on the door before he could get cold feet. He listened for any sound behind
the door, his nerves making him nauseous. He was about to knock again when he heard
sheets rustling, then a very disheveled, very cute Izuku answered the door.

“Hey,” Katsuki said lamely.

“Hi…” Izuku blinked away the rest of the sleep in his eyes. It took him just a few moments to
realize that this Katsuki was different from the one he spoke to yesterday. “Oh, Kacchan, it’s
really you!”

Of course Izuku would be able to tell he got his memory back without him saying anything.
“Yeah. Can we talk?”

A pretty blush started to color Izuku’s cheeks, and he jerked the door open wider to let
Katsuki in. “Yeah! Uh, yeah, just, uh, come in.”

Katsuki walked in and plopped down on the edge of Izuku’s bed. It wasn’t the first time he’d
been in here, his body went on instinct just making himself at home in Izuku’s space. Maybe
he should’ve stayed standing, but Izuku took a seat next to him before he could get back up.
Katsuki kept his gaze cast downward.

“So…” Izuku started. “I’m guessing you remember everything now, huh?”

“Yup.”

Silence hung between them. Katsuki had thought a lot about this, but never expected to
actually get this far. He had so much he knew he needed to say, but was struggling to muster
up the courage to say it. What kind of hero will he be if he can’t even confront his damn
crush?

“Look, Kacchan,” Izuku said nervously. “We don’t need to talk about it. I can just forget it,
and we can pretend it didn’t happen and go back to normal.”

“No.”

Izuku startled, and finally Katsuki looked at him.

“I don’t want to forget it,” Katsuki continued. “I owe you an explanation at the very least.”

“You don’t owe me anything…” Izuku mumbled.

Katsuki shook his head and turned his body toward him. “I do, though. You said it wasn’t fair
to have a conversation when I didn’t remember, but now I do.”

Izuku looked down in thought. “So… was it true?” he asked quietly, as if he were afraid of
the answer.

Katsuki could lie, could back out and say it was all a misunderstanding. Or he could get his
shit together and finally admit the thing he’d been running from for far too long.

“Yeah.”
Izuku’s eyes went wide and bright, like he’d just seen a unicorn. Perhaps it was warranted,
since Katsuki’s vulnerability was almost as rare.

“The reason I never said anything before,” Katsuki continued, “was because I didn’t feel like
I deserved it.”

“Kacchan…” Izuku whispered sadly.

“With our past, I didn’t think it was a good idea. I treated you like shit, and I’m lucky to have
even a friendship with you. But I guess without remembering all of that, I didn’t see a reason
not to tell you.”

Izuku gave him a soft smile. “I feel lucky, too.”

“Why?” Katsuki asked. “I’m the one who messed it all up.”

“You didn’t mess it all up, though,” Izuku said. “We’re here now, aren’t we?”

Katsuki huffed and nodded. He didn’t trust Izuku’s generous nature half the time, but he was
glad it extended to him. He’d spend the rest of his life doing what he could to earn it.

“I’m glad you told me,” Izuku said with a shy smile.

Katsuki’s ego grew. “Yeah?”

“Mhm,” Izuku nodded. “I’m glad to know it’s… mutual.”

Katsuki felt like his heart could burst out of his chest. Of course, he’d hoped, perhaps even
boldly assumed, that this was a possibility. That Izuku could really return his feelings, even
after everything.

“I still feel like I ought to apologize.” Katsuki wasn’t one for saying sorry, but Izuku was the
one person who deserved it most.

“But, you’ve already–”

“Not for that,” Katsuki interrupted. “For… the kiss.”Izuku went red and Katsuki could tell by
his burning cheeks that he was as well.

“Oh…”
Katsuki rubbed the back of his neck. “I shoulda waited.”

“Waited?” Izuku repeated, his voice barely coming out.

Katsuki leaned in, successfully stealing all the air out of the room. “Yeah, ‘til I got an
answer.”

Izuku swallowed with maximum effort. “But you haven’t asked me anything.”
“Yesterday, I asked if you were my boyfriend,” Katsuki said quietly, his voice low and gruff.
His eyes made Izuku feel like he was on fire. “If I asked now, what would you say?”

He didn’t have to wait on pins and needles long before Izuku gave out a breathless, “Yes.”

Katsuki’s body relaxed in relief, right into Izuku who met him halfway. Izuku was stiff as a
board, but didn’t pull away from the kiss. When Katsuki pulled back to get a good look at
him, Izuku leaned forward like it was a magnetic pull. So Katsuki kissed him again, and this
time Izuku relaxed into it.

When they pulled away for the second time, Katsuki looked down at Izuku, relishing in the
knowledge of how Izuku looked after being kissed. Izuku finally looked up from his lips to
his eyes, then buried his face in Katsuki’s shoulder.

“You okay?” Katsuki asked, highly amused.

“It’s just a little overwhelming,” Izuku mumbled. “I feel like I might faint. I can’t believe this
is my life.”

“Yeah, well, get used to it,” Katsuki huffed, his cheeks on fire. He swore he was sweating
hard enough to blow up the entire building.

Izuku looked up at him then with a blinding grin and gave him a quick peck. It made
Katsuki’s stomach flip.

“I’ll try, Kacchan. Though I might need your help remembering.”

“You cheeky shit, c’mere!”

End Notes

the title is *mostly* a pacific rim reference

my twitter

here is a link to the tweet if u wanna rt!

i wrote this fic last year without the intention to post. then on a whim i decided to release it
into the world. it’s been really nice seeing the response to it, it’s dispelled some of my
anxiety. maybe i’ll post more bkdk stuff i’ve written in the future. thank you for reading 🖤
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