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Ebook
203 pages
3 hours
The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and
Embrace Who You Are

By Brene Brown
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

4/5

Vulnerability

Integration

Personal Growth

Authenticity

Society

Power of Vulnerability
 New World

Great Integration

Coming of Age

Power of Love

Journey to Self-Discovery

About this ebook

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • This tenth-anniversary edition of the game-changing #1
New York Times bestseller features a new foreword and new tools to make the work
your own.

For over a decade, Brené Brown has found a special place in our hearts as a gifted
mapmaker and a fellow traveler. She is both a social scientist and a kitchen-table
friend whom you can always count on to tell the truth, make you laugh, and, on
occasion, cry with you. And what’s now become a movement all started with The Gifts
of Imperfection, which has sold more than two million copies in thirty-five
different languages across the globe.
What transforms this book from words on a page to effective daily practices are the
ten guideposts to wholehearted living. The guideposts not only help us understand
the practices that will allow us to change our lives and families, they also walk
us through the unattainable and sabotaging expectations that get in the way.
Brené writes, “This book is an invitation to join a wholehearted revolution. A
small, quiet, grassroots movement that starts with each of us saying, ‘My story
matters because I matter.’ Revolution might sound a little dramatic, but in this
world, choosing authenticity and worthiness is an absolute act of resistance.”
Editor's Note
Your imperfections are your strengths…

Self-acceptance is a powerful step on the path to becoming your best self. Brené
Brown helps you see that your perceived weaknesses are actually your strengths.
Stop comparing your success to that of others and learn to love your imperfections.
Skip carousel

Personal Growth
Personal Growth

Self-Improvement
Self-Improvement

LanguageEnglish
Publisher
Hazelden Publishing
Release dateMar 1, 2022
ISBN9781592859894
The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and
Embrace Who You Are
Read preview

BB
Author
Brene Brown

Dr. Brené Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston, where she
holds the Huffington Foundation Endowed Chair at the Graduate College of Social
Work. She also holds the position of visiting professor in management at the
University of Texas at Austin McCombs School of Business. Brené has spent the past
two decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy. She is the author
of six #1 New York Times best sellers and is the host of two award-winning
podcasts, Unlocking Us and Dare to Lead. Brené’s books have been translated into
more than 30 languages, and her titles include Atlas of the Heart, Dare to Lead,
Braving the Wilderness, Rising Strong, Daring Greatly, and The Gifts of
Imperfection. With Tarana Burke, she co-edited the best-selling anthology You Are
Your Best Thing: Vulnerability, Shame Resilience, and the Black Experience. Brené’s
TED talk on the Power of Vulnerability is one of the top five most-viewed TED talks
in the world, with over 60 million views. She spends most of her time working in
organizations around the world, helping develop braver leaders and more courageous
cultures. In 2024, she was named as the executive director of The Center for Daring
Leadership at BetterUp. She lives in Houston, Texas, with her husband, Steve. They
have two children, Ellen and Charlie, and a weird Bichon named Lucy.
Related authors
Skip carousel

Gretchen Rubin

Dan Harris

John Townsend

Shauna Niequist

Henry Cloud

Related categories
Skip carousel

Motivational
Motivational

Creativity
Creativity

Mental Health
Mental Health

Self-Management
Self-Management

Business & Economics

Business & Economics

Reviews for The Gifts of Imperfection

Rating: 4.199037666141732 out of 5 stars
4/5

1,143 ratings

70 reviews
What our readers think

Readers find this title to be an amazing, inspiring, and practical book that has
the power to change lives. It offers valuable insights and perspectives on
imperfections, vulnerability, and courage. The writing style is friendly and easy
to understand, making it accessible to readers of all levels. While some readers
found the book research-heavy and formal, others appreciated the depth of
information and cited resources. Overall, this book is highly recommended for those
struggling with perfectionism and seeking personal growth.

1 person found this helpful

What did you think?
Tap to rate
Write a review

Review must be at least 10 words

Coach_JD

Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

5/5

Mar 20, 2025

Incredible book. The insights, the takeaways, the knowledge and depth she goes
into! A must read for everyone
charlottedietrich04
Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
5/5

Feb 19, 2025

Whatsapp Number : +44 7747 969957

Telegram :@Globalhacktechnology

Company Email: Globalhacktechnology@gmail.com

I was completely heart-broken when I lost all my crypto assets worth €105,500 to a
scam investment company. It felt like everything I had worked for vanished in an
instant, and no amount of searching for answers seemed to help. I tried reaching
out to different platforms and so-called recovery experts, but none could provide a
real solution.

Just when I was about to give up, a colleague introduced me to Global Hack
Technology, calling them the most reliable and effective digital asset recovery
service. At first, I was skeptical—after all, I had already encountered so many
dead ends. But from the moment I contacted them, I could tell they were different.
Their team was highly professional, transparent, and extremely knowledgeable about
blockchain recovery.

They carefully analyzed my case, explained their process in detail, and kept me
informed at every stage. True to their reputation, Global Hack Technology
successfully retrieved my stolen crypto assets! What I thought was lost forever was
finally restored, and I can’t express how grateful I am for their help.

If you’ve fallen victim to crypto fraud, don’t lose hope! Global Hack Technology is
the real deal when it comes to recovering lost digital assets. Their expertise,
professionalism, and commitment to their clients set them apart from all the
unreliable services out there.

I highly recommend Global Hack Technology to anyone who needs help recovering
stolen funds and crypto assets. They truly deliver on their promises, and I
couldn’t be more thankful for their assistance!

Above is their contact information.

blintnatc
Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
5/5

Nov 16, 2024

Maybe This Can Help You
Download Full Ebook Very Detail Here :
https://amzn.to/3XOf46C
- You Can See Full Book/ebook Offline Any Time
- You Can Read All Important Knowledge Here
Almas Abbas
Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
5/5

Apr 27, 2023

Imperfections can be gifts, wow! This book is meaningful and should be read by all.
Lisa Brouwer
Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
5/5

Dec 4, 2022
Always appreciate Brené's insights... Her work has changed my life.
Robert Wayne Axton
Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
5/5

Aug 27, 2022

On your toes the entire time without ceasing,much obliged Thankful!

Book preview
The Gifts of Imperfection - Brene Brown
Cover: The Gifts of Imperfection, by L.M.S.W. Ph.D Brené Brown

#1 New York Times Bestseller

Over 3 Million Copies Sold

Brené Brown

The Gifts of Imperfection

including new tools to make the work your own

BY BRENÉ BROWN

ATLAS OF THE HEART

DARE TO LEAD

BRAVING THE WILDERNESS

RISING STRONG

DARING GREATLY

THE GIFTS OF IMPERFECTION

I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST ME

The Gifts of Imperfection, by L.M.S.W. Ph.D Brené Brown, Hazelden Publishing
Hazelden Publishing

Center City, Minnesota 55012

hazelden.org/bookstore

Copyright © 2010, 2020 by Brené Brown All rights reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-61649-960-0

ISBN: 9781592859894 (ebook)

No part of this publication, either print or electronic, may be reproduced in any

form or by any means without the express written permission of the publisher.
Failure to comply with these terms may expose you to legal action and damages for
copyright infringement.

Cover design: Global Prairie

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Brown, Brené author.

Title: The gifts of imperfection : let go of who you think you’re supposed to be
and embrace who you are / Brené Brown, PhD, MSW.

Description: 10th Anniversary Edition. | Center City, Minnesota : Hazelden

Publishing, [2022] | Originally published: Hazelden Publishing, 2010. | Includes
bibliographical references.

Identifiers: LCCN 2021055702 (print) | LCCN 2021055703 (ebook) | ISBN 9781616499600

(trade paperback) | ISBN 9781592859894 (epub)

Subjects: LCSH: Self-acceptance. | Self-esteem.

Classification: LCC BF575.S37 B76 2022 (print) | LCC BF575.S37 (ebook) | DDC
158/.1--dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2021055702

LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2021055703

Editor’s note:

This is a work of nonfiction. Nonetheless, some of the names and personal

characteristics of the individuals involved have been changed in order to disguise
their identities. Any resulting resemblance to persons living or dead is entirely
coincidental and unintentional. This publication is not intended as a substitute
for the advice of health care professionals.

2020 hardcover published by Random House, an imprint and division of Penguin Random
House LLC, New York.

To Steve, Ellen, and Charlie.

I love you with my whole heart.

CONTENTS

10th Anniversary Note from Brené

Preface

INTRODUCTION: Wholehearted Living

Courage, Compassion, and Connection: The Gifts of Imperfection

Exploring the Power of Love, Belonging, and Being Enough

The Things That Get in the Way

GUIDEPOST #1: Cultivating Authenticity: Letting Go of What People Think

GUIDEPOST #2: Cultivating Self-Compassion: Letting Go of Perfectionism

GUIDEPOST #3: Cultivating a Resilient Spirit: Letting Go of Numbing and

Powerlessness

GUIDEPOST #4: Cultivating Gratitude and Joy: Letting Go of Scarcity and Fear of the
Dark

GUIDEPOST #5: Cultivating Intuition and Trusting Faith: Letting Go of the Need for
Certainty

GUIDEPOST #6: Cultivating Creativity: Letting Go of Comparison

GUIDEPOST #7: Cultivating Play and Rest: Letting Go of Exhaustion as a Status

Symbol and Productivity as Self-Worth

GUIDEPOST #8: Cultivating Calm and Stillness: Letting Go of Anxiety as a Lifestyle

GUIDEPOST #9: Cultivating Meaningful Work: Letting Go of Self-Doubt and "Supposed

To"

GUIDEPOST #10: Cultivating Laughter, Song, and Dance: Letting Go of Being Cool and
"Always in Control"

Final Thoughts

ABOUT THE RESEARCH PROCESS: FOR THRILL-SEEKERS AND METHODOLOGY JUNKIES

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

NOTES

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

INTEGRATION INDEX
10TH ANNIVERSARY NOTE FROM BRENÉ

It’s been thirteen years since my 2007 Breakdown Spiritual Awakening and a full
decade since I wrote The Gifts.

Life has been good. I mean it’s been so easy and just about perfect since I started
cultivating all of the great practices on the wholehearted list and letting go of
all of the fear-based behaviors from the "shit list" that I write about in this
book. It’s like once you work your way through these ten guideposts, everything
just falls in place. No more shame. No more anxiety. No more self-loathing. No more
crushing busyness. No more "never enough."
Sigh.

In the past thirteen years, I have loved, lost, fallen down too many times to
count, mercifully gotten back up that same incalculable number of times, broken my
toes, broken my own heart, and had a couple of other people break it for me. I
dropped my daughter off at college then stayed in bed crying for a week, fell back
in love with Steve, questioned how Steve and I are ever going to stay married and
how we should split the albums during the divorce, wrote four more books, lost
track of a million great ideas and found ten good ones, buried people I love
including parents, watched Charlie turn into an amazing teenager, lost my first
pet, bought reading glasses, white-knuckled my sobriety, discovered that sobriety
is my superpower, planned interventions, wondered if I needed an intervention,
fought for social justice, continued to uncover more blind spots and areas of
unacknowledged privilege, moved houses, started businesses, shut down businesses,
swam in several pools of low-grade depression, splashed around in my magic Lake
Travis with the people I love the most, practiced gratitude for every single gift
in my life, and pissed and moaned for so long about the smallest irritations that I
actually got sick of hearing myself complain.

It’s been a full, amazing, hard-as-shit, beautiful thirteen years. Most days, I’d
describe it as a wonderful life with really painful patches. However, not gonna lie
—there are seasons when it feels like the painful patches will swallow us whole and
I’m not sure how to scratch my way back to a balanced life, much less a "wonderful
life." In fact, as I’m writing this, I’m quarantined with my family in the midst of
the COVID-19 pandemic, and I’m getting ready for a podcast interview with Dr. Ibram
X. Kendi on antiracism. It’s June 3, 2020, and I want to believe so badly we’re
going to get through this pandemic and things will not return to normal. That we
will become a country ready to own our history and do what it takes to put an end
to the policies and practices that not only dehumanize the Black community but all
of the communities that have suffered under white supremacy.

When I look back on the past decade and think about the work, research, and words
that make up the original Gifts of Imperfection book, there are two things that are
gratifyingly and painfully clear to me:

1. Transforming the ten guideposts of wholehearted living into daily, lifelong

practices is more work than I ever imagined.

2. Transforming the ten guideposts of wholehearted living into daily, lifelong

practices is more valuable than I ever imagined.

It’s not hyperbole to say that writing The Gifts changed my life and continues to
do so. The adventure of wholehearted living launched my work, continues to inform
my relationship with Steve, helps me find the courage to be the parent I want to be
and the grace to try again when I’m not, and, most of all, this work continues to
lead me back to myself. All of myself—the parts I love and the parts I’ve orphaned
and keep bringing back home so I can wipe their noses, bandage their skinned knees,
and be whole.

I wrote The Gifts in my early forties. Ellen was eleven years old when it came out,
and Charlie was only five. Now Ellen is a senior in college, and Charlie is about
to start high school. I haven’t changed the stories or much of the text. The
lessons are the same even though the kids are older, Steve and I have more wrinkles
and gray hair, and some of the concepts have become the foundation of entire books.

INTEGRATION

When we talked to readers about the 10th Anniversary Edition, people were very
clear that the text shouldn’t change. This book has become a reference guide and
touchstone for many people, and we want to honor this. We did, however, add a new
Integration Index so that you, as a reader, can start to embed the work in your
life.

When we were doing the research for Rising Strong, we discovered more about how
creativity is the engine that drives integration; it helps us transform knowledge
into practice. Basically, we move what we’re learning from our heads to our hearts
through our hands.

The index in the back of the book is adapted from a system that I heard Maria
Popova explain to Tim Ferriss during a podcast in 2014. Maria is a writer, poet,
cultural critic, and the genius curator behind brainpickings.org

, a newsletter and online publication that has been added to the Library of
Congress’s permanent digital archive of culturally valuable materials.

This was six years ago, and Maria may no longer use this approach; however, for
those of us who spent many hours wondering how she tracked, connected, and wove
together all of the source materials she shares on brainpickings.org

, it was a brilliant illumination.

In the podcast, Maria explained that when you read a book, you walk away with
certain takeaways that are thematically linked. In most books, these takeaways
don’t occur sequentially. An alternative index is based on ideas that are important
to you—not just keywords—so a personalized index allows you to find and document
the patterns that create personal meaning and understanding. I started creating
alternative indexes, and it’s transformed the way I read, learn, research, and
integrate work. For example, in Ibram Kendi’s book How to Be an Antiracist, my
index included the following:

Beautiful language (borrowed this one from Maria):

Don’t understand—need to learn more:

FD (stands for family dinner—something I want to discuss as a family):

Had no idea:

More books to read:

Organizational culture change:

Quotes:

RHR (this stands for rabbit hole research—it’s my way of saying I want to look at
original source material):

Share with Steve:

SO HARD:

Next to these, I have a list of page numbers separated by commas (e.g., 13, 46,
167, 229). When I turn to those pages (which I mark with tiny Post-it tabs), I see
the highlighted passages. I’m telling you—it’s a miracle. When you’re done, you
have new information and a blueprint of how to integrate it into your life.

For this book, I’m giving you pages and a list of suggested index ideas based on
how I’ve seen thousands of people integrate this work into daily practices. I think
there’s some poetry in the fact that the Latin root of the word integrate is
integrare, which means "to make whole." How do we use what we’re learning about
wholeheartedness to actually make ourselves more whole?

There are two other integration tools that will help you own and embody this work.
First, we’ve spent several years building, testing, and validating our Wholehearted
Inventory, which consists of ten subscales that align with the guideposts. This
free online instrument will allow you to assess your strengths and opportunities
for growth around the main topics explored in the book. I recommend you take this
assessment before you start reading. It’s useful to engage with it after you’ve
finished, but I think it’s more useful to go into the book knowing where you’ve
already got skills and where you can build them.

You can find that at brenebrown.com/wholeheartedinventory

Another integration tool that we’re building for you is a free online workshop that
will launch in the fall of 2020. We’ll walk through the ten guideposts, I’ll take
questions (and ask questions), and we’ll DIG deep together.

WITH OUR WHOLE HEARTS

Over the past ten years, I’ve had the great honor of teaching and facilitating my
work on courage and vulnerability all over the world. Although I am a teacher and a
researcher, these experiences always afford me the opportunity to learn far more
than I teach. One thing that’s become very clear to me is that the experience of
sharing our vulnerability is not the same for all of us. Let me explain.

The greatest casualty of trauma—the thing that trauma often takes away from us—is
the emotional, and sometimes even physical, safety that is necessary for us to be
vulnerable. I’ve seen this in my work with the military, veterans, and survivors.
And, in addition to the trauma of violence, neglect and poverty are trauma.
Dehumanization—the core of racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, and
all systemic forms of oppression and/or bias—is a form of daily trauma. You only
have to witness someone who shares your identity suffering to experience real
emotional and physical trauma.

Many of these systemic forms of trauma are so pervasive that asking people to
embrace vulnerability and imperfections without taking into consideration their
lived experience can be asking them to do something that is not emotionally or even
physically safe in all environments.

So, what do we do? I believe that everyone deserves brave and safe spaces to be
vulnerable. None of us can fully embrace the gifts of vulnerability, courage, and
authenticity if any of us are denied those gifts because of who we are or what
we’ve endured. Being imperfect, authentic, and vulnerable is a function of being
human—not a privilege afforded to those who can get away with it without being
labeled, dismissed, and judged.

We are all responsible for creating these brave, safe spaces and dismantling the
systems that perpetuate trauma. Living and loving with our whole hearts is not just
about self-work. It’s how we change the world. Without awareness, work, and
actionable change, we will continue to live in a world where we perceive some
people as brave and strong for sharing their vulnerabilities, while for others,
their sharing of struggles and fears becomes confirmation of the conscious or
unconscious biases we hold.
The experiences that bring the most meaning to our lives are born of vulnerability—
and that includes freedom. And, as Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. famously said,
"No one is free until we are all free." There is no wholeheartedness unless we do
everything we can to dismantle the brokenheartedness of injustice.

I still use the definition of authenticity that I first wrote for this book as a
personal prayer. So,
Page 1 of 12

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Ebook
203 pages
3 hours
The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and
Embrace Who You Are

By Brene Brown
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

4/5

Vulnerability

Integration

Personal Growth

Authenticity

Society
 Power of Vulnerability

New World

Great Integration

Coming of Age

Power of Love

Journey to Self-Discovery

About this ebook

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • This tenth-anniversary edition of the game-changing #1
New York Times bestseller features a new foreword and new tools to make the work
your own.

For over a decade, Brené Brown has found a special place in our hearts as a gifted
mapmaker and a fellow traveler. She is both a social scientist and a kitchen-table
friend whom you can always count on to tell the truth, make you laugh, and, on
occasion, cry with you. And what’s now become a movement all started with The Gifts
of Imperfection, which has sold more than two million copies in thirty-five
different languages across the globe.
What transforms this book from words on a page to effective daily practices are the
ten guideposts to wholehearted living. The guideposts not only help us understand
the practices that will allow us to change our lives and families, they also walk
us through the unattainable and sabotaging expectations that get in the way.
Brené writes, “This book is an invitation to join a wholehearted revolution. A
small, quiet, grassroots movement that starts with each of us saying, ‘My story
matters because I matter.’ Revolution might sound a little dramatic, but in this
world, choosing authenticity and worthiness is an absolute act of resistance.”
Editor's Note
Your imperfections are your strengths…

Self-acceptance is a powerful step on the path to becoming your best self. Brené
Brown helps you see that your perceived weaknesses are actually your strengths.
Stop comparing your success to that of others and learn to love your imperfections.
Skip carousel

Personal Growth
Personal Growth

Self-Improvement
Self-Improvement

LanguageEnglish
Publisher
Hazelden Publishing
Release dateMar 1, 2022
ISBN9781592859894
The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and
Embrace Who You Are
Read preview

BB
Author
Brene Brown
Dr. Brené Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston, where she
holds the Huffington Foundation Endowed Chair at the Graduate College of Social
Work. She also holds the position of visiting professor in management at the
University of Texas at Austin McCombs School of Business. Brené has spent the past
two decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy. She is the author
of six #1 New York Times best sellers and is the host of two award-winning
podcasts, Unlocking Us and Dare to Lead. Brené’s books have been translated into
more than 30 languages, and her titles include Atlas of the Heart, Dare to Lead,
Braving the Wilderness, Rising Strong, Daring Greatly, and The Gifts of
Imperfection. With Tarana Burke, she co-edited the best-selling anthology You Are
Your Best Thing: Vulnerability, Shame Resilience, and the Black Experience. Brené’s
TED talk on the Power of Vulnerability is one of the top five most-viewed TED talks
in the world, with over 60 million views. She spends most of her time working in
organizations around the world, helping develop braver leaders and more courageous
cultures. In 2024, she was named as the executive director of The Center for Daring
Leadership at BetterUp. She lives in Houston, Texas, with her husband, Steve. They
have two children, Ellen and Charlie, and a weird Bichon named Lucy.
Related authors
Skip carousel

Gretchen Rubin

Dan Harris

John Townsend

Shauna Niequist

Henry Cloud

Related categories
Skip carousel

Motivational
Motivational

Creativity
Creativity

Mental Health
Mental Health

Self-Management
Self-Management

Business & Economics

Business & Economics

Reviews for The Gifts of Imperfection

Rating: 4.199037666141732 out of 5 stars
4/5

1,143 ratings

70 reviews
What our readers think

Readers find this title to be an amazing, inspiring, and practical book that has
the power to change lives. It offers valuable insights and perspectives on
imperfections, vulnerability, and courage. The writing style is friendly and easy
to understand, making it accessible to readers of all levels. While some readers
found the book research-heavy and formal, others appreciated the depth of
information and cited resources. Overall, this book is highly recommended for those
struggling with perfectionism and seeking personal growth.

1 person found this helpful

What did you think?
Tap to rate
Write a review

Review must be at least 10 words

Coach_JD

Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

5/5

Mar 20, 2025

Incredible book. The insights, the takeaways, the knowledge and depth she goes
into! A must read for everyone
charlottedietrich04
Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
5/5

Feb 19, 2025

Whatsapp Number : +44 7747 969957

Telegram :@Globalhacktechnology

Company Email: Globalhacktechnology@gmail.com

I was completely heart-broken when I lost all my crypto assets worth €105,500 to a
scam investment company. It felt like everything I had worked for vanished in an
instant, and no amount of searching for answers seemed to help. I tried reaching
out to different platforms and so-called recovery experts, but none could provide a
real solution.

Just when I was about to give up, a colleague introduced me to Global Hack
Technology, calling them the most reliable and effective digital asset recovery
service. At first, I was skeptical—after all, I had already encountered so many
dead ends. But from the moment I contacted them, I could tell they were different.
Their team was highly professional, transparent, and extremely knowledgeable about
blockchain recovery.

They carefully analyzed my case, explained their process in detail, and kept me
informed at every stage. True to their reputation, Global Hack Technology
successfully retrieved my stolen crypto assets! What I thought was lost forever was
finally restored, and I can’t express how grateful I am for their help.

If you’ve fallen victim to crypto fraud, don’t lose hope! Global Hack Technology is
the real deal when it comes to recovering lost digital assets. Their expertise,
professionalism, and commitment to their clients set them apart from all the
unreliable services out there.

I highly recommend Global Hack Technology to anyone who needs help recovering
stolen funds and crypto assets. They truly deliver on their promises, and I
couldn’t be more thankful for their assistance!
Above is their contact information.
blintnatc
Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
5/5

Nov 16, 2024

Maybe This Can Help You
Download Full Ebook Very Detail Here :
https://amzn.to/3XOf46C
- You Can See Full Book/ebook Offline Any Time
- You Can Read All Important Knowledge Here
Almas Abbas
Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
5/5

Apr 27, 2023

Imperfections can be gifts, wow! This book is meaningful and should be read by all.
Lisa Brouwer
Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
5/5

Dec 4, 2022
Always appreciate Brené's insights... Her work has changed my life.
Robert Wayne Axton
Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
5/5

Aug 27, 2022

On your toes the entire time without ceasing,much obliged Thankful!

Book preview
The Gifts of Imperfection - Brene Brown
Cover: The Gifts of Imperfection, by L.M.S.W. Ph.D Brené Brown

#1 New York Times Bestseller

Over 3 Million Copies Sold

Brené Brown

The Gifts of Imperfection

including new tools to make the work your own

BY BRENÉ BROWN

ATLAS OF THE HEART

DARE TO LEAD

BRAVING THE WILDERNESS

RISING STRONG

DARING GREATLY

THE GIFTS OF IMPERFECTION

I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST ME

The Gifts of Imperfection, by L.M.S.W. Ph.D Brené Brown, Hazelden Publishing

Hazelden Publishing

Center City, Minnesota 55012

hazelden.org/bookstore

Copyright © 2010, 2020 by Brené Brown All rights reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-61649-960-0

ISBN: 9781592859894 (ebook)

No part of this publication, either print or electronic, may be reproduced in any

form or by any means without the express written permission of the publisher.
Failure to comply with these terms may expose you to legal action and damages for
copyright infringement.

Cover design: Global Prairie

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Brown, Brené author.

Title: The gifts of imperfection : let go of who you think you’re supposed to be
and embrace who you are / Brené Brown, PhD, MSW.

Description: 10th Anniversary Edition. | Center City, Minnesota : Hazelden

Publishing, [2022] | Originally published: Hazelden Publishing, 2010. | Includes
bibliographical references.

Identifiers: LCCN 2021055702 (print) | LCCN 2021055703 (ebook) | ISBN 9781616499600

(trade paperback) | ISBN 9781592859894 (epub)

Subjects: LCSH: Self-acceptance. | Self-esteem.

Classification: LCC BF575.S37 B76 2022 (print) | LCC BF575.S37 (ebook) | DDC
158/.1--dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2021055702

LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2021055703

Editor’s note:

This is a work of nonfiction. Nonetheless, some of the names and personal

characteristics of the individuals involved have been changed in order to disguise
their identities. Any resulting resemblance to persons living or dead is entirely
coincidental and unintentional. This publication is not intended as a substitute
for the advice of health care professionals.

2020 hardcover published by Random House, an imprint and division of Penguin Random
House LLC, New York.

To Steve, Ellen, and Charlie.

I love you with my whole heart.

CONTENTS
10th Anniversary Note from Brené

Preface

INTRODUCTION: Wholehearted Living

Courage, Compassion, and Connection: The Gifts of Imperfection

Exploring the Power of Love, Belonging, and Being Enough

The Things That Get in the Way

GUIDEPOST #1: Cultivating Authenticity: Letting Go of What People Think

GUIDEPOST #2: Cultivating Self-Compassion: Letting Go of Perfectionism

GUIDEPOST #3: Cultivating a Resilient Spirit: Letting Go of Numbing and

Powerlessness

GUIDEPOST #4: Cultivating Gratitude and Joy: Letting Go of Scarcity and Fear of the
Dark

GUIDEPOST #5: Cultivating Intuition and Trusting Faith: Letting Go of the Need for
Certainty

GUIDEPOST #6: Cultivating Creativity: Letting Go of Comparison

GUIDEPOST #7: Cultivating Play and Rest: Letting Go of Exhaustion as a Status

Symbol and Productivity as Self-Worth

GUIDEPOST #8: Cultivating Calm and Stillness: Letting Go of Anxiety as a Lifestyle

GUIDEPOST #9: Cultivating Meaningful Work: Letting Go of Self-Doubt and "Supposed

To"

GUIDEPOST #10: Cultivating Laughter, Song, and Dance: Letting Go of Being Cool and
"Always in Control"

Final Thoughts

ABOUT THE RESEARCH PROCESS: FOR THRILL-SEEKERS AND METHODOLOGY JUNKIES

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

NOTES

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

INTEGRATION INDEX
10TH ANNIVERSARY NOTE FROM BRENÉ

It’s been thirteen years since my 2007 Breakdown Spiritual Awakening and a full
decade since I wrote The Gifts.

Life has been good. I mean it’s been so easy and just about perfect since I started
cultivating all of the great practices on the wholehearted list and letting go of
all of the fear-based behaviors from the "shit list" that I write about in this
book. It’s like once you work your way through these ten guideposts, everything
just falls in place. No more shame. No more anxiety. No more self-loathing. No more
crushing busyness. No more "never enough."

Sigh.

In the past thirteen years, I have loved, lost, fallen down too many times to
count, mercifully gotten back up that same incalculable number of times, broken my
toes, broken my own heart, and had a couple of other people break it for me. I
dropped my daughter off at college then stayed in bed crying for a week, fell back
in love with Steve, questioned how Steve and I are ever going to stay married and
how we should split the albums during the divorce, wrote four more books, lost
track of a million great ideas and found ten good ones, buried people I love
including parents, watched Charlie turn into an amazing teenager, lost my first
pet, bought reading glasses, white-knuckled my sobriety, discovered that sobriety
is my superpower, planned interventions, wondered if I needed an intervention,
fought for social justice, continued to uncover more blind spots and areas of
unacknowledged privilege, moved houses, started businesses, shut down businesses,
swam in several pools of low-grade depression, splashed around in my magic Lake
Travis with the people I love the most, practiced gratitude for every single gift
in my life, and pissed and moaned for so long about the smallest irritations that I
actually got sick of hearing myself complain.

It’s been a full, amazing, hard-as-shit, beautiful thirteen years. Most days, I’d
describe it as a wonderful life with really painful patches. However, not gonna lie
—there are seasons when it feels like the painful patches will swallow us whole and
I’m not sure how to scratch my way back to a balanced life, much less a "wonderful
life." In fact, as I’m writing this, I’m quarantined with my family in the midst of
the COVID-19 pandemic, and I’m getting ready for a podcast interview with Dr. Ibram
X. Kendi on antiracism. It’s June 3, 2020, and I want to believe so badly we’re
going to get through this pandemic and things will not return to normal. That we
will become a country ready to own our history and do what it takes to put an end
to the policies and practices that not only dehumanize the Black community but all
of the communities that have suffered under white supremacy.

When I look back on the past decade and think about the work, research, and words
that make up the original Gifts of Imperfection book, there are two things that are
gratifyingly and painfully clear to me:

1. Transforming the ten guideposts of wholehearted living into daily, lifelong

practices is more work than I ever imagined.

2. Transforming the ten guideposts of wholehearted living into daily, lifelong

practices is more valuable than I ever imagined.

It’s not hyperbole to say that writing The Gifts changed my life and continues to
do so. The adventure of wholehearted living launched my work, continues to inform
my relationship with Steve, helps me find the courage to be the parent I want to be
and the grace to try again when I’m not, and, most of all, this work continues to
lead me back to myself. All of myself—the parts I love and the parts I’ve orphaned
and keep bringing back home so I can wipe their noses, bandage their skinned knees,
and be whole.

I wrote The Gifts in my early forties. Ellen was eleven years old when it came out,
and Charlie was only five. Now Ellen is a senior in college, and Charlie is about
to start high school. I haven’t changed the stories or much of the text. The
lessons are the same even though the kids are older, Steve and I have more wrinkles
and gray hair, and some of the concepts have become the foundation of entire books.

INTEGRATION
When we talked to readers about the 10th Anniversary Edition, people were very
clear that the text shouldn’t change. This book has become a reference guide and
touchstone for many people, and we want to honor this. We did, however, add a new
Integration Index so that you, as a reader, can start to embed the work in your
life.

When we were doing the research for Rising Strong, we discovered more about how
creativity is the engine that drives integration; it helps us transform knowledge
into practice. Basically, we move what we’re learning from our heads to our hearts
through our hands.

The index in the back of the book is adapted from a system that I heard Maria
Popova explain to Tim Ferriss during a podcast in 2014. Maria is a writer, poet,
cultural critic, and the genius curator behind brainpickings.org

, a newsletter and online publication that has been added to the Library of
Congress’s permanent digital archive of culturally valuable materials.

This was six years ago, and Maria may no longer use this approach; however, for
those of us who spent many hours wondering how she tracked, connected, and wove
together all of the source materials she shares on brainpickings.org

, it was a brilliant illumination.

In the podcast, Maria explained that when you read a book, you walk away with
certain takeaways that are thematically linked. In most books, these takeaways
don’t occur sequentially. An alternative index is based on ideas that are important
to you—not just keywords—so a personalized index allows you to find and document
the patterns that create personal meaning and understanding. I started creating
alternative indexes, and it’s transformed the way I read, learn, research, and
integrate work. For example, in Ibram Kendi’s book How to Be an Antiracist, my
index included the following:

Beautiful language (borrowed this one from Maria):

Don’t understand—need to learn more:

FD (stands for family dinner—something I want to discuss as a family):

Had no idea:

More books to read:

Organizational culture change:

Quotes:

RHR (this stands for rabbit hole research—it’s my way of saying I want to look at
original source material):

Share with Steve:

SO HARD:

Next to these, I have a list of page numbers separated by commas (e.g., 13, 46,
167, 229). When I turn to those pages (which I mark with tiny Post-it tabs), I see
the highlighted passages. I’m telling you—it’s a miracle. When you’re done, you
have new information and a blueprint of how to integrate it into your life.
For this book, I’m giving you pages and a list of suggested index ideas based on
how I’ve seen thousands of people integrate this work into daily practices. I think
there’s some poetry in the fact that the Latin root of the word integrate is
integrare, which means "to make whole." How do we use what we’re learning about
wholeheartedness to actually make ourselves more whole?

There are two other integration tools that will help you own and embody this work.
First, we’ve spent several years building, testing, and validating our Wholehearted
Inventory, which consists of ten subscales that align with the guideposts. This
free online instrument will allow you to assess your strengths and opportunities
for growth around the main topics explored in the book. I recommend you take this
assessment before you start reading. It’s useful to engage with it after you’ve
finished, but I think it’s more useful to go into the book knowing where you’ve
already got skills and where you can build them.

You can find that at brenebrown.com/wholeheartedinventory

Another integration tool that we’re building for you is a free online workshop that
will launch in the fall of 2020. We’ll walk through the ten guideposts, I’ll take
questions (and ask questions), and we’ll DIG deep together.

WITH OUR WHOLE HEARTS

Over the past ten years, I’ve had the great honor of teaching and facilitating my
work on courage and vulnerability all over the world. Although I am a teacher and a
researcher, these experiences always afford me the opportunity to learn far more
than I teach. One thing that’s become very clear to me is that the experience of
sharing our vulnerability is not the same for all of us. Let me explain.

The greatest casualty of trauma—the thing that trauma often takes away from us—is
the emotional, and sometimes even physical, safety that is necessary for us to be
vulnerable. I’ve seen this in my work with the military, veterans, and survivors.
And, in addition to the trauma of violence, neglect and poverty are trauma.
Dehumanization—the core of racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, and
all systemic forms of oppression and/or bias—is a form of daily trauma. You only
have to witness someone who shares your identity suffering to experience real
emotional and physical trauma.

Many of these systemic forms of trauma are so pervasive that asking people to
embrace vulnerability and imperfections without taking into consideration their
lived experience can be asking them to do something that is not emotionally or even
physically safe in all environments.

So, what do we do? I believe that everyone deserves brave and safe spaces to be
vulnerable. None of us can fully embrace the gifts of vulnerability, courage, and
authenticity if any of us are denied those gifts because of who we are or what
we’ve endured. Being imperfect, authentic, and vulnerable is a function of being
human—not a privilege afforded to those who can get away with it without being
labeled, dismissed, and judged.

We are all responsible for creating these brave, safe spaces and dismantling the
systems that perpetuate trauma. Living and loving with our whole hearts is not just
about self-work. It’s how we change the world. Without awareness, work, and
actionable change, we will continue to live in a world where we perceive some
people as brave and strong for sharing their vulnerabilities, while for others,
their sharing of struggles and fears becomes confirmation of the conscious or
unconscious biases we hold.

The experiences that bring the most meaning to our lives are born of vulnerability—
and that includes freedom. And, as Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. famously said,
"No one is free until we are all free." There is no wholeheartedness unless we do
everything we can to dismantle the brokenheartedness of injustice.

I still use the definition of authenticity that I first wrote for this book as a
personal prayer. So,
Page 1 of 12

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Ebook
203 pages
3 hours
The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and
Embrace Who You Are

By Brene Brown
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

4/5

Vulnerability

Integration

Personal Growth

Authenticity
 Society

Power of Vulnerability

New World

Great Integration

Coming of Age

Power of Love

Journey to Self-Discovery

About this ebook

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • This tenth-anniversary edition of the game-changing #1
New York Times bestseller features a new foreword and new tools to make the work
your own.

For over a decade, Brené Brown has found a special place in our hearts as a gifted
mapmaker and a fellow traveler. She is both a social scientist and a kitchen-table
friend whom you can always count on to tell the truth, make you laugh, and, on
occasion, cry with you. And what’s now become a movement all started with The Gifts
of Imperfection, which has sold more than two million copies in thirty-five
different languages across the globe.
What transforms this book from words on a page to effective daily practices are the
ten guideposts to wholehearted living. The guideposts not only help us understand
the practices that will allow us to change our lives and families, they also walk
us through the unattainable and sabotaging expectations that get in the way.
Brené writes, “This book is an invitation to join a wholehearted revolution. A
small, quiet, grassroots movement that starts with each of us saying, ‘My story
matters because I matter.’ Revolution might sound a little dramatic, but in this
world, choosing authenticity and worthiness is an absolute act of resistance.”
Editor's Note
Your imperfections are your strengths…

Self-acceptance is a powerful step on the path to becoming your best self. Brené
Brown helps you see that your perceived weaknesses are actually your strengths.
Stop comparing your success to that of others and learn to love your imperfections.
Skip carousel

Personal Growth
Personal Growth

Self-Improvement
Self-Improvement

LanguageEnglish
Publisher
Hazelden Publishing
Release dateMar 1, 2022
ISBN9781592859894
The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and
Embrace Who You Are
Read preview

BB
Author
Brene Brown

Dr. Brené Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston, where she
holds the Huffington Foundation Endowed Chair at the Graduate College of Social
Work. She also holds the position of visiting professor in management at the
University of Texas at Austin McCombs School of Business. Brené has spent the past
two decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy. She is the author
of six #1 New York Times best sellers and is the host of two award-winning
podcasts, Unlocking Us and Dare to Lead. Brené’s books have been translated into
more than 30 languages, and her titles include Atlas of the Heart, Dare to Lead,
Braving the Wilderness, Rising Strong, Daring Greatly, and The Gifts of
Imperfection. With Tarana Burke, she co-edited the best-selling anthology You Are
Your Best Thing: Vulnerability, Shame Resilience, and the Black Experience. Brené’s
TED talk on the Power of Vulnerability is one of the top five most-viewed TED talks
in the world, with over 60 million views. She spends most of her time working in
organizations around the world, helping develop braver leaders and more courageous
cultures. In 2024, she was named as the executive director of The Center for Daring
Leadership at BetterUp. She lives in Houston, Texas, with her husband, Steve. They
have two children, Ellen and Charlie, and a weird Bichon named Lucy.
Related authors
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Henry Cloud

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Reviews for The Gifts of Imperfection

Rating: 4.199037666141732 out of 5 stars
4/5

1,143 ratings

70 reviews
What our readers think
Readers find this title to be an amazing, inspiring, and practical book that has
the power to change lives. It offers valuable insights and perspectives on
imperfections, vulnerability, and courage. The writing style is friendly and easy
to understand, making it accessible to readers of all levels. While some readers
found the book research-heavy and formal, others appreciated the depth of
information and cited resources. Overall, this book is highly recommended for those
struggling with perfectionism and seeking personal growth.

1 person found this helpful

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Coach_JD

Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

5/5

Mar 20, 2025

Incredible book. The insights, the takeaways, the knowledge and depth she goes
into! A must read for everyone
charlottedietrich04
Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
5/5

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- You Can See Full Book/ebook Offline Any Time
- You Can Read All Important Knowledge Here
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Imperfections can be gifts, wow! This book is meaningful and should be read by all.
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Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
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Always appreciate Brené's insights... Her work has changed my life.
Robert Wayne Axton
Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
5/5

Aug 27, 2022

On your toes the entire time without ceasing,much obliged Thankful!

Book preview
The Gifts of Imperfection - Brene Brown
Cover: The Gifts of Imperfection, by L.M.S.W. Ph.D Brené Brown

#1 New York Times Bestseller

Over 3 Million Copies Sold

Brené Brown

The Gifts of Imperfection

including new tools to make the work your own

BY BRENÉ BROWN

ATLAS OF THE HEART

DARE TO LEAD

BRAVING THE WILDERNESS

RISING STRONG

DARING GREATLY

THE GIFTS OF IMPERFECTION

I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST ME
The Gifts of Imperfection, by L.M.S.W. Ph.D Brené Brown, Hazelden Publishing

Hazelden Publishing

Center City, Minnesota 55012

hazelden.org/bookstore

Copyright © 2010, 2020 by Brené Brown All rights reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-61649-960-0

ISBN: 9781592859894 (ebook)

No part of this publication, either print or electronic, may be reproduced in any

form or by any means without the express written permission of the publisher.
Failure to comply with these terms may expose you to legal action and damages for
copyright infringement.

Cover design: Global Prairie

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Brown, Brené author.

Title: The gifts of imperfection : let go of who you think you’re supposed to be
and embrace who you are / Brené Brown, PhD, MSW.

Description: 10th Anniversary Edition. | Center City, Minnesota : Hazelden

Publishing, [2022] | Originally published: Hazelden Publishing, 2010. | Includes
bibliographical references.

Identifiers: LCCN 2021055702 (print) | LCCN 2021055703 (ebook) | ISBN 9781616499600

(trade paperback) | ISBN 9781592859894 (epub)

Subjects: LCSH: Self-acceptance. | Self-esteem.

Classification: LCC BF575.S37 B76 2022 (print) | LCC BF575.S37 (ebook) | DDC
158/.1--dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2021055702

LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2021055703

Editor’s note:

This is a work of nonfiction. Nonetheless, some of the names and personal

characteristics of the individuals involved have been changed in order to disguise
their identities. Any resulting resemblance to persons living or dead is entirely
coincidental and unintentional. This publication is not intended as a substitute
for the advice of health care professionals.

2020 hardcover published by Random House, an imprint and division of Penguin Random
House LLC, New York.

To Steve, Ellen, and Charlie.

I love you with my whole heart.
CONTENTS

10th Anniversary Note from Brené

Preface

INTRODUCTION: Wholehearted Living

Courage, Compassion, and Connection: The Gifts of Imperfection

Exploring the Power of Love, Belonging, and Being Enough

The Things That Get in the Way

GUIDEPOST #1: Cultivating Authenticity: Letting Go of What People Think

GUIDEPOST #2: Cultivating Self-Compassion: Letting Go of Perfectionism

GUIDEPOST #3: Cultivating a Resilient Spirit: Letting Go of Numbing and

Powerlessness

GUIDEPOST #4: Cultivating Gratitude and Joy: Letting Go of Scarcity and Fear of the
Dark

GUIDEPOST #5: Cultivating Intuition and Trusting Faith: Letting Go of the Need for
Certainty

GUIDEPOST #6: Cultivating Creativity: Letting Go of Comparison

GUIDEPOST #7: Cultivating Play and Rest: Letting Go of Exhaustion as a Status

Symbol and Productivity as Self-Worth

GUIDEPOST #8: Cultivating Calm and Stillness: Letting Go of Anxiety as a Lifestyle

GUIDEPOST #9: Cultivating Meaningful Work: Letting Go of Self-Doubt and "Supposed

To"

GUIDEPOST #10: Cultivating Laughter, Song, and Dance: Letting Go of Being Cool and
"Always in Control"

Final Thoughts

ABOUT THE RESEARCH PROCESS: FOR THRILL-SEEKERS AND METHODOLOGY JUNKIES

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

NOTES

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

INTEGRATION INDEX
10TH ANNIVERSARY NOTE FROM BRENÉ

It’s been thirteen years since my 2007 Breakdown Spiritual Awakening and a full
decade since I wrote The Gifts.

Life has been good. I mean it’s been so easy and just about perfect since I started
cultivating all of the great practices on the wholehearted list and letting go of
all of the fear-based behaviors from the "shit list" that I write about in this
book. It’s like once you work your way through these ten guideposts, everything
just falls in place. No more shame. No more anxiety. No more self-loathing. No more
crushing busyness. No more "never enough."

Sigh.

In the past thirteen years, I have loved, lost, fallen down too many times to
count, mercifully gotten back up that same incalculable number of times, broken my
toes, broken my own heart, and had a couple of other people break it for me. I
dropped my daughter off at college then stayed in bed crying for a week, fell back
in love with Steve, questioned how Steve and I are ever going to stay married and
how we should split the albums during the divorce, wrote four more books, lost
track of a million great ideas and found ten good ones, buried people I love
including parents, watched Charlie turn into an amazing teenager, lost my first
pet, bought reading glasses, white-knuckled my sobriety, discovered that sobriety
is my superpower, planned interventions, wondered if I needed an intervention,
fought for social justice, continued to uncover more blind spots and areas of
unacknowledged privilege, moved houses, started businesses, shut down businesses,
swam in several pools of low-grade depression, splashed around in my magic Lake
Travis with the people I love the most, practiced gratitude for every single gift
in my life, and pissed and moaned for so long about the smallest irritations that I
actually got sick of hearing myself complain.

It’s been a full, amazing, hard-as-shit, beautiful thirteen years. Most days, I’d
describe it as a wonderful life with really painful patches. However, not gonna lie
—there are seasons when it feels like the painful patches will swallow us whole and
I’m not sure how to scratch my way back to a balanced life, much less a "wonderful
life." In fact, as I’m writing this, I’m quarantined with my family in the midst of
the COVID-19 pandemic, and I’m getting ready for a podcast interview with Dr. Ibram
X. Kendi on antiracism. It’s June 3, 2020, and I want to believe so badly we’re
going to get through this pandemic and things will not return to normal. That we
will become a country ready to own our history and do what it takes to put an end
to the policies and practices that not only dehumanize the Black community but all
of the communities that have suffered under white supremacy.

When I look back on the past decade and think about the work, research, and words
that make up the original Gifts of Imperfection book, there are two things that are
gratifyingly and painfully clear to me:

1. Transforming the ten guideposts of wholehearted living into daily, lifelong

practices is more work than I ever imagined.

2. Transforming the ten guideposts of wholehearted living into daily, lifelong

practices is more valuable than I ever imagined.

It’s not hyperbole to say that writing The Gifts changed my life and continues to
do so. The adventure of wholehearted living launched my work, continues to inform
my relationship with Steve, helps me find the courage to be the parent I want to be
and the grace to try again when I’m not, and, most of all, this work continues to
lead me back to myself. All of myself—the parts I love and the parts I’ve orphaned
and keep bringing back home so I can wipe their noses, bandage their skinned knees,
and be whole.

I wrote The Gifts in my early forties. Ellen was eleven years old when it came out,
and Charlie was only five. Now Ellen is a senior in college, and Charlie is about
to start high school. I haven’t changed the stories or much of the text. The
lessons are the same even though the kids are older, Steve and I have more wrinkles
and gray hair, and some of the concepts have become the foundation of entire books.
INTEGRATION

When we talked to readers about the 10th Anniversary Edition, people were very
clear that the text shouldn’t change. This book has become a reference guide and
touchstone for many people, and we want to honor this. We did, however, add a new
Integration Index so that you, as a reader, can start to embed the work in your
life.

When we were doing the research for Rising Strong, we discovered more about how
creativity is the engine that drives integration; it helps us transform knowledge
into practice. Basically, we move what we’re learning from our heads to our hearts
through our hands.

The index in the back of the book is adapted from a system that I heard Maria
Popova explain to Tim Ferriss during a podcast in 2014. Maria is a writer, poet,
cultural critic, and the genius curator behind brainpickings.org

, a newsletter and online publication that has been added to the Library of
Congress’s permanent digital archive of culturally valuable materials.

This was six years ago, and Maria may no longer use this approach; however, for
those of us who spent many hours wondering how she tracked, connected, and wove
together all of the source materials she shares on brainpickings.org

, it was a brilliant illumination.

In the podcast, Maria explained that when you read a book, you walk away with
certain takeaways that are thematically linked. In most books, these takeaways
don’t occur sequentially. An alternative index is based on ideas that are important
to you—not just keywords—so a personalized index allows you to find and document
the patterns that create personal meaning and understanding. I started creating
alternative indexes, and it’s transformed the way I read, learn, research, and
integrate work. For example, in Ibram Kendi’s book How to Be an Antiracist, my
index included the following:

Beautiful language (borrowed this one from Maria):

Don’t understand—need to learn more:

FD (stands for family dinner—something I want to discuss as a family):

Had no idea:

More books to read:

Organizational culture change:

Quotes:

RHR (this stands for rabbit hole research—it’s my way of saying I want to look at
original source material):

Share with Steve:

SO HARD:

Next to these, I have a list of page numbers separated by commas (e.g., 13, 46,
167, 229). When I turn to those pages (which I mark with tiny Post-it tabs), I see
the highlighted passages. I’m telling you—it’s a miracle. When you’re done, you
have new information and a blueprint of how to integrate it into your life.

For this book, I’m giving you pages and a list of suggested index ideas based on
how I’ve seen thousands of people integrate this work into daily practices. I think
there’s some poetry in the fact that the Latin root of the word integrate is
integrare, which means "to make whole." How do we use what we’re learning about
wholeheartedness to actually make ourselves more whole?

There are two other integration tools that will help you own and embody this work.
First, we’ve spent several years building, testing, and validating our Wholehearted
Inventory, which consists of ten subscales that align with the guideposts. This
free online instrument will allow you to assess your strengths and opportunities
for growth around the main topics explored in the book. I recommend you take this
assessment before you start reading. It’s useful to engage with it after you’ve
finished, but I think it’s more useful to go into the book knowing where you’ve
already got skills and where you can build them.

You can find that at brenebrown.com/wholeheartedinventory

Another integration tool that we’re building for you is a free online workshop that
will launch in the fall of 2020. We’ll walk through the ten guideposts, I’ll take
questions (and ask questions), and we’ll DIG deep together.

WITH OUR WHOLE HEARTS

Over the past ten years, I’ve had the great honor of teaching and facilitating my
work on courage and vulnerability all over the world. Although I am a teacher and a
researcher, these experiences always afford me the opportunity to learn far more
than I teach. One thing that’s become very clear to me is that the experience of
sharing our vulnerability is not the same for all of us. Let me explain.

The greatest casualty of trauma—the thing that trauma often takes away from us—is
the emotional, and sometimes even physical, safety that is necessary for us to be
vulnerable. I’ve seen this in my work with the military, veterans, and survivors.
And, in addition to the trauma of violence, neglect and poverty are trauma.
Dehumanization—the core of racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, and
all systemic forms of oppression and/or bias—is a form of daily trauma. You only
have to witness someone who shares your identity suffering to experience real
emotional and physical trauma.

Many of these systemic forms of trauma are so pervasive that asking people to
embrace vulnerability and imperfections without taking into consideration their
lived experience can be asking them to do something that is not emotionally or even
physically safe in all environments.

So, what do we do? I believe that everyone deserves brave and safe spaces to be
vulnerable. None of us can fully embrace the gifts of vulnerability, courage, and
authenticity if any of us are denied those gifts because of who we are or what
we’ve endured. Being imperfect, authentic, and vulnerable is a function of being
human—not a privilege afforded to those who can get away with it without being
labeled, dismissed, and judged.

We are all responsible for creating these brave, safe spaces and dismantling the
systems that perpetuate trauma. Living and loving with our whole hearts is not just
about self-work. It’s how we change the world. Without awareness, work, and
actionable change, we will continue to live in a world where we perceive some
people as brave and strong for sharing their vulnerabilities, while for others,
their sharing of struggles and fears becomes confirmation of the conscious or
unconscious biases we hold.

The experiences that bring the most meaning to our lives are born of vulnerability—
and that includes freedom. And, as Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. famously said,
"No one is free until we are all free." There is no wholeheartedness unless we do
everything we can to dismantle the brokenheartedness of injustice.

I still use the definition of authenticity that I first wrote for this book as a
personal prayer. So,
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