Arisha Qaiser, 7-F (Typing).
To be needed is not love, yet to be wanted is.
That feeling of a spark jittering through your whole body when your eyes
meet with someone else’s, may it be someone you know or someone you
don’t. The rush of your blood when a catchy item or person appears in front
of you, controlling your heartbeat without even knowing it. The awkward
silence when you are sitting among a group of friends who are supposed to
feel like family, according to others, but felt like strangers who you just
couldn’t click with as normally as to with others. One thing lies in common
with all these, and that is ‘other people’. Nothing takes place without the
other person in these scenarios. And frankly enough, the question is ‘why’?
Well, you know why? It’s because of your own self and your beliefs. When
you subject yourself and your emotions to someone or something else,
becoming unhealthily dependent on them, you find yourself no longer
‘yourself’. You become someone made from the fragments of other people’s
interests, not your own. You evolve into something so different and unlike
you, that you never even thought of becoming as a little child, without
knowing that the little child is still inside you, deep down, in a small little
corner, trying not to take up too much space. The little child watches you
ruin yourself down and down to smaller and tinier parts each second you
listen to someone else’s opinion and not your own. And what do you do?
Nothing. You only get first-hand experiences at your dumbness’s result. But
so, what if you’ve gotten first-hand experience in those things already?
That’s not what you should be worrying about, worry about what would
happen if there was ever a second-hand experience. Worry about your future
self, worry about the you that can still be real and independent, worry about
the you that could suffer the same or even worse consequences as you did in
those first-hand experiences. Take a few moments, maybe agonize over the
fact that that was how the little child inside of you felt when you went down
the wrong path, then after that, you know what you do? You change your
path. For yourself, for the ‘you’ that is to come. And nothing is wrong with
that, since even a path you choose in the middle of another one is
considered a path, and that should fascinate you about how many
opportunities you must have. Each step leads to different paths, just like how
you were made of the fragments of other people’s interests in the past.
Loving yourself has never been wrong, not even once, as it is something you
need to keep sane at a point, or you’d just either lose it, or lose yourself,
maybe even both. Every person matters, every decision matters, every step
matters, every loveable act for yourself matters, every word of defending
yourself matters, every action of being responsible matters, and just like
that, you matter.
Day 1.
Then perhaps one day, you will one day find someone who recognizes you
for ‘yourself’ and knows that you matter. It goes as per the saying I made;
‘Love is to be wanted, not to be needed.’
(542 words.)
