STEP 1

We admitted we were powerless over gambling—that our

lives had become unmanageable.

Before beginning this exercise, please read Step One in G.A.: A New Beginning (GA, 1989b).
No one likes to admit defeat. Our minds rebel at the very thought that we have lost
control. We are big, strong, intelligent, and capable. How can it be that we are powerless? How
can our lives be unmanageable? This exercise will help you sort through your life and make
some important decisions. Answer as completely as you can each question that applies to you.
This is an opportunity for you to get accurate. You need to see the truth about yourself.
Let us pretend for a moment that you are the commander in a nuclear missile silo. You
are in charge of a bomb. If you think about it, this is exactly the kind of control that you want
over your life. You want to be in control of your thinking, feeling, and behavior. You want to be
in control all of the time, not just some of the time. If you do something by accident or if you do
something foolishly, then you might kill many people.

What is the first thing a compulsive gambler ought to do in order to stop gambling? The
compulsive gambler needs to accept the fact that he or she is in the grip of a progressive illness
and has a desire to get well. (GA, 1989a, p.8)

To accept powerlessness and unmanageability a gambler must look at the truth. People who
are powerless over gambling to do things that are harmful to themselves and others. They do
most anything to stay in action –to keep gambling. Gamblers do not consider the consequences
of their behavior, and they keep gambling until they are on the verge of death.

Gamblers are in action when they plan a bet, make a bet, or wait for a bet to come in. Once the
bet is in, they are out of action. Being in action is a primary goal of compulsive gamblers. By
staying in action, gamblers feel how they want to feel. They escape reality. They live in a fantasy
world of their own creation. Some gamblers gamble for the thrill and some to escape. Now it is
time to get honest with yourself.

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 Powerlessness
People who are powerless do things that they feel bad or guilty about later. To gamble, they may
lie, cheat, steal, hurt their family members, or do poor work. Make a list of five things that made
you feel the most uncomfortable about gambling in the past.

1. _____________________________________________________________________

2. _____________________________________________________________________

3. _____________________________________________________________________

4. _____________________________________________________________________

5. _____________________________________________________________________

People who are powerless gradually lose respect for themselves. They will have difficulty
trusting themselves. List five ways you have lost respect for yourself due to gambling.

1. _____________________________________________________________________

2. _____________________________________________________________________

3. _____________________________________________________________________

4. _____________________________________________________________________

5. _____________________________________________________________________

People who are powerless will do things that they do not remember doing. When gamblers
gamble, they can lose track of time. They might think that they have been gambling for only a
few minutes when, in fact, they have been gambling for many hours. If you gamble enough, you
cannot remember things properly.

Describe five situations when you lost track of time while you were gambling.

1. _____________________________________________________________________

2. _____________________________________________________________________

3. _____________________________________________________________________

4. _____________________________________________________________________

5. _____________________________________________________________________
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People who are powerless cannot keep promises they make to themselves or others. They
promise that they will cut down on their gambling, and they do not. They promise that they will
not gamble, and they do. They promise to be home, to be at work, to be at the Cub Scout
meeting, or to go to school, but they do not make it. They cannot always do what they want to
do. They disappoint themselves and they lose trust in themselves. Other people lose trust in
them. Gamblers can count on themselves some of the time, but they cannot count on
themselves all of the time.

1. List five times you promised yourself that you would cut down on your gambling.
1. ________________________________________________________________

2. ________________________________________________________________

3. ________________________________________________________________

4. ________________________________________________________________

5. ________________________________________________________________

2. What happened to each of these promises?

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

3. Did you ever promise to yourself you would quit entirely?

Yes No

4. What happened to your promise?

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

5. Did you ever make a promise to someone that you did not keep because you were
3

gambling? Give five examples.

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1. ________________________________________________________________
 2. ________________________________________________________________

3. ________________________________________________________________

4. ________________________________________________________________

5. ________________________________________________________________

6. Are you reliable when you are gambling?

Yes No

People who are powerless lose control of their behavior. They do things that they would not
normally do when not in action. They might get into fights. They might yell at people they love
—their spouses, children, parents, or friends. They might say things that they do not mean.

Have you ever gotten into an argument with someone because you were gambling? Describe
five times.
1. _____________________________________________________________________

2. _____________________________________________________________________

3. _____________________________________________________________________

4. _____________________________________________________________________

5. _____________________________________________________________________

Defense Mechanisms of Compulsive Gambling

Compulsive Gamblers often have a logical process that justifies why they don’t have a
problem. The addicted person can spend entire counseling sessions explaining to you
why they don’t have a gambling problem during the early stages of building their
motivation. A person who struggles with it less may have higher motivation and be more
open to the idea that they could have a pathological relationship with gambling.

The compulsive gambler will often maintain a mental picture of what they would be like
if their gambling was a “true problem.” Circle and discuss the ones you used.

Repression – The person uses gambling to escape from unwanted negative memories
4

or emotions.
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General: “When I’m playing, that’s the only time it doesn’t hurt.”
1. “I can’t pay my bills, but if I win, I won’t have to worry.”
 2. “I don’t have to think.”
3. "My body is in so much pain. The distraction helps more than anything else.”

Denial – There is not a problem. The problem lies outside the person’s conscious
awareness.
General: “I don’t have a problem.”
1. “I don’t have a problem. I hardly ever go.”
2. “I see the ones with problems all the time. I’m nothing like them.”
3. “I don’t even lose that much of my money.” (Does not add all the times they
lose together)

Lies – When the person lies, distorts the truth, or leaves out important details.
General: “I don’t really have that much of a problem.”
1. “I was only there a few hours.” (They were there all day and night.)
2. “I only lost a few bucks.” (They lost their whole paycheck.)
3. “I have this bill, but I can pay you back next week.” (Spends the money on
gambling instead.)

Manipulation – When the gambler argues, teases, mocks, becomes silent, cries, etc.
when confronted about the problem.
General: “This is ridiculous.” Or “You really think I have a problem.”
1. “This is how I enjoy myself. I don’t tell you how to enjoy yourself.”
2. “Do I look like someone who has a problem?”
3. “I can’t believe that’s how you feel about me.”

Accusations - Attacking the other person and pointing out their problems.
General: “Well, you have problems too.” Or “You gamble as well.”
1. “You gamble too. How come I’m the one who has the problem?”
2. “At least I don’t [INSERT PROBLEM] when I’m upset.”
3. “I only started gambling because you… [INSERT PROBLEM].”

Threats - Using threats to make the person stop talking about the problem.
General: “You better knock it off.” “I don’t have to live with you.”
1. “If you want someone else that doesn’t gamble, go for it.”
2. “If I can’t go play, you can’t [INSERT OTHER USE OF MONEY].”
3. “If I can’t be myself here, I’ll just leave.”

Projection – the person shifts their emotional problems onto the other person.
General: “You have problems too.” or “You always manipulate to get what you
want.”
1. “My wife has spent more money than I have.”
2. “If my job had less stress, I wouldn’t need to be here.” 3. “I
only come here because things are bad at home.”
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Rationalizing – The person explains their behavior through a series of logical leaps that
seem sensible to them.
General: “I don’t gamble every day, I don't have a problem.”
1. “I don’t spend as much time here as that guy.”
2. “All my friends have lost more than I have.”
3. “If it is so bad, it would be illegal.”

Displacement – Satisfying an impulse with a substitute activity.

General: “I like to feel smart, and when I win, I’m the smartest one in the room.”
1. Feels domination over players who lose.
2. Craves the “Hero” label from their gambling peers.
3. Draws identity from defeating the establishment (players or casino).

Regression – The person reverts to earlier developmental stages during adversity.

General: “It’s not fair.” Or “You rigged it.”
1. Gambler verbally assaults staff after losses.
2. Player pounds on machine after a close-call.
3. Group behaves in a juvenile fashion after they lose their race.

Minimizing – Agrees, but makes it a smaller problem than it really is.

General: “It’s not really a problem.”
1. “I was only there a few hours.” (They were there all day and night.)
2. “I only lost a few bucks.” (They lost their whole paycheck.)
3. “I only gamble when I want to relax.” (Goes almost every day.)
The desire to gamble is very powerful. It makes a gambler feel irritable and impatient. People
who are powerless say things that they do not mean. They say things that they feel guilty about
later. We may not remember everything we said, but the other person does remember. List five
times when you said something or did something that you did not mean when gambling or
craving gambling. What did you say? What did you do?

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______________________________________________________________________________
______3.

4. _____________________________________________________________________

5. _____________________________________________________________________

People are powerless when they cannot deal with their feelings. They may gamble because
they feel frightened, angry, or sad. They medicate their feelings with gambling.
1. Have you ever gambled to cover up your feelings? Give three examples.
1. _____________________________________________________________________

2. _____________________________________________________________________

3. _____________________________________________________________________

2. List the feelings you have difficulty with.

___________________________________________________________________________
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___________________________________________________________________________
 ___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

People are powerless when they are not safe. What convinces you that you no longer can
gamble safely?

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

People are powerless when they know that they should do something, but they cannot make
themselves do it. They might make a great effort to do the right thing, but they keep doing the
wrong thing.

1. Could you cut down on your gambling every time you wanted for as long as you
wanted?
Yes No

2. Did gambling ever keep you from doing something at home that you thought you should
do? Give five examples.
______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

3. Did gambling ever keep you from going to work? Give five examples.

1. _____________________________________________________________________

2. _____________________________________________________________________
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3. _____________________________________________________________________
4. _____________________________________________________________________

5. _____________________________________________________________________

4. Did you ever lose a job because of your gambling? Write down what happened.

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

People are powerless when other people have wanted them that they are in trouble. You may
have felt as though you were fine, but people close to you have noticed that something was
wrong. It probably was difficult for them to define just what was wrong, but they worried about
you. It is difficult to confront people when they are wrong, so most people avoid the problem
until they cannot stand the behavior anymore. When gamblers are confronted with their
behavior, they feel annoyed and irritated. They want to be left alone with the lies that they are
telling themselves. Has anyone ever talked to you about your gambling? Who was this? How
did you feel?
___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

People are powerless when they do not know the truth about themselves. Gamblers lie to
themselves about how much they are gambling. They lie to themselves about how often they
gamble. They lie to themselves about the amount of money they are losing—even when the
losses are obvious. They blame others for their problems. Some common lies that they tell
themselves included the following:
“I can quit anytime I want to.”
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“I only gamble a little.”

“The police are out to get me.”

“Everybody does it.”

“I gamble, but I do not have problems.”

“Anybody can have financial problems.”

“My friends will not like me if I do not gamble.”

“I never have problems when I gamble.”

“I can pay the money back later.”

“When I win, I am going to buy a present for my family.”

Gamblers continue to lie to themselves to the very end. They hold on to their delusional
thinking, and they believe that their lies are the truth. They deliberately lie to those close to
them. They hide their gambling. They make their problems seem smaller than they actually are.
They make excuses for why they are gambling. They refuse to see the truth.

1. Have you ever lied to yourself about your gambling? List five lies that you old yourself.

1. _____________________________________________________________________

2. _____________________________________________________________________

3. _____________________________________________________________________

4. _____________________________________________________________________

5. _____________________________________________________________________

2. List five ways in which you tried to convince yourself that you did not have a problem.

1. _____________________________________________________________________

2. _____________________________________________________________________

3. _____________________________________________________________________

4. _____________________________________________________________________
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5. _____________________________________________________________________
 3. List five ways in which you tried to convince others that you did not have a problem.

1. _____________________________________________________________________

2. _____________________________________________________________________

3. _____________________________________________________________________

4. _____________________________________________________________________

5. _____________________________________________________________________

Therefore, it is not surprising that our gambling careers have been characterized by countless
vain attempts to prove we could gamble like other people. The idea that somehow, someday,
we will control our gambling is the great obsession of every compulsive gambler. The
persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it to the gates of prison, insanity, or
death. (GA, 1989a, p.2).

Draw your Image of Powerlessness

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 Unmanageability
Imagine that you are the manager of a large corporation. You are responsible for how
everything runs. If you are not a good manager, then the business will fail. You must carefully
plan everything and carry out those plans well. You must be alert. You must know exactly
where you are and where you are going. These are the skills that you need to manage your life
effectively.

Gamblers are not good managers. They keep losing control. Their plans fall through. They
cannot devise and stick to things long enough to see a solution. They are lying to themselves, so
12

they do not know who they are. They feel confused. Their feelings are being changed by
gambling, so they cannot use their feelings to give them energy and direction for problem-
Page

solving.
You do not have to be a bad manager all of the time. It is worse to be a bad manager some of
the time. It is very confusing. Most gamblers have flurries of productive activity during which
they work too much. They work themselves to the bone, and then they let things slide. It is like
being on a roller coaster. Sometimes things are in control, and sometimes they are out of
control. Things are up and down, and gamblers never predict which way things are going to be
tomorrow.

People’s lives are unmanageable when they have plans fall apart because they are gambling.
Make a list of five plans that you failed to complete because of your gambling.

1. _____________________________________________________________________

2. _____________________________________________________________________

3. _____________________________________________________________________

4. _____________________________________________________________________

5. _____________________________________________________________________

1 . Please indicate which of the following types of gambling you have done in your
lifetime. For each type, mark one answer: “Not at All,” “Less than Once a
Week,” or “Once a Week or More.”

LESS THAN ONCE A

ONCE A WEEK OR
WEEK MORE
PLEASE “✓ ” ONE ANSWER FOR EACH STATEMENT: NOT AT ALL

a. Played cards for money

b. Bet on horses, dogs, or other animals (at
13

OTB, the track or with a bookie

Page

c. Bet on sport (parlay cards, with bookie at

 Jai Alai)
d. Played dice games, including craps, over
and under or other dice games

e. Went to casinos (legal or otherwise)

f. Played the numbers or bet on lotteries

g. Played bingo

h. Played the stock and/or commodities

market
i. Played slot machines, poker machines, or
other gambling machines
j. Bowled, shot pool, played golf, or some
other game of skill for money
k. Played pull tabs or “paper” games other
than lotteries
l. Some form of gambling not listed above
(please specify:

2. What is the largest amount of money you have ever gambled with on any one-day?

_ Never gambled _ More than $100.00 up to $1,000.00

__ More than $1.00 up to $10.00 __More than $1,000.00 up to $10,000.00

__ More than $10.00 up to $100.00 _ More than $10,000.00

Finances

Alcohol and other drugs can be costly in many ways. How much has your addiction cost you? Fill
out the form below as honestly as possible.

A. The cost of behavior while in the action phase of gambling

(Trips, blowing cash, illogical purchases) Cost of A $_______________

B. The loss of money you would have earned or

Future opportunities that could have been yours if
you had not been gambling. Cost of B $_______________
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C. The loss of money due to poor judgment,

poor financial planning, bad investments Cost of C $_______________
 D. Additional medical, legal or insurance costs
due to your addictive behavior Cost of D $_______________

E. Anything not listed above Cost of E $_______________

Total cost of my addiction $__________________

People’s lives are unmanageable when they cannot manage their finances consistently.

1. List the money problems that you are having.

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

2. Explain how gambling has contributed to these problems.

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

People’s lives are unmanageable when they cannot trust their own judgments.

1. Have you ever been so absorbed in your gambling that you did not know what was
happening around you? Explain.

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________
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___________________________________________________________________________
 2. Did you ever lie to yourself about your gambling? Explain how your lies contributed to
your being unable to manage your life.

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

3. Have you ever made a decision while gambling that you were sorry about later? List five
times.
1. _____________________________________________________________________

2. _____________________________________________________________________

3. _____________________________________________________________________

4. _____________________________________________________________________

5. _____________________________________________________________________

People’s lives are unmanageable when they cannot work or play normally. Gamblers miss work
and recreational activities because of their gambling.
List five times when you missed work because you were gambling.

1. _____________________________________________________________________

2. _____________________________________________________________________

3. _____________________________________________________________________

4. _____________________________________________________________________

5. _____________________________________________________________________

List five recreational or family activities because you were gambling.

1. _____________________________________________________________________
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2. _____________________________________________________________________
3. _____________________________________________________________________

4. _____________________________________________________________________

5. _____________________________________________________________________

People’s lives are unmanageable when they are in trouble with other people or society.
Gamblers break rules of society to get their own way. They have problems with authority.
1. Have you ever been in legal trouble when you were gambling? Explain the legal
problems you have had.

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

2. Have you ever had problems with your parents because of your gambling? Explain.
___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

3. Have you ever had problems in school because of your gambling? Explain.

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

People’s lives are unmanageable when they cannot consistently achieve goals. Gamblers reach
out for what they want, but something keeps getting in the way. It does not seem fair. They
17

keep falling short of their goals. Finally, they give up completely. They may have had the goals
Page

for going to school, getting a better job, working on family problems, getting in good physical
condition, and/or going on a diet. No matter what the goals are, something keeps going wrong
with the plans. Gamblers constantly try to blame someone else, but they cannot work long
enough to reach their goals. Gamblers are good starters, but they are poor finishers.

List five goals that you had for yourself that you did not achieve because of gambling.

1. _____________________________________________________________________

2. _____________________________________________________________________

3. _____________________________________________________________________

4. _____________________________________________________________________

5. _____________________________________________________________________

People’s lives are unmanageable when they cannot use their feelings appropriately. Feelings
give us energy and direction for problem solving. Gamblers change their feelings by staying in
action. Gambling gives them a different feeling. Gamblers become very confused about how
they feel.
1. What feelings have you tried to alter with gambling?

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

2. How do you feel when you are gambling? Describe in detail.

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

People’s lives are unmanageable when they violate their own rules by violating their own
morals and values. Gamblers compromise their values to continue gambling. They have the
value not to lie, but they lie anyway. They have the value not to steal, but they steal anyway.
18

They have the value to be loyal to spouses or friends, but when they are gambling they do not
Page

remain loyal. Their values and morals fall away, one by one. They end up doing things that they
do not believe in. They know that they are doing the wrong things, but they do them anyway.
 1. Did you ever lie to cover up your gambling? How did you feel about yourself?
___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

2. Were you ever disloyal when gambling? Explain.

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

3. Did you ever steal or write bad checks to gamble? Explain what you did and how you felt
about yourself later.
___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

4. Did you ever break the law when gambling? What did you do?
______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

5. Did you ever hurt someone you loved while gambling? Explain.

___________________________________________________________________________
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___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

6. Did you treat yourself poorly by refusing to stop gambling when you knew that it was
bad for you?
___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

7. Did you stop going to church? How did this make you feel about yourself?
___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

People’s lives are unmanageable when they continue to do something that gives them
problems. Gambling creates severe financial problems. Even f gamblers are aware of the
problems, they gamble anyway. They see gambling as the solution.

Gambling psychological problems. Compulsive gambling makes people feel depressed,

fearful, anxious, and/or angry. Even when gamblers are aware of these symptoms, they
continue to gamble.
Gambling creates relationship problems. It causes family problems in the form of family
fights as well as verbal and physical abuse. It causes interpersonal conflict in the form of
family fights as well as verbal and physical abuse. It causes interpersonal conflict at
work, with family, and with friends. Gamblers withdraw and become isolated and alone.

1. Did you have any persistent physical problems caused by or made worse by
gambling? Describe the problems.
___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________
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___________________________________________________________________________
 2. Did you have any persistent psychological problems, such as depression that were
caused by your gambling? Describe the problems.
___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

3. Did you have persistent interpersonal conflicts that were made worse by gambling?
Describe the problems.
___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

We know that no real compulsive gambler ever gains control. All of us felt at times
we were regaining control, but such intervals—usually brief—were inevitably
followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible
demoralization. We are convinced that gamblers of your type are in the grip of a
progressive illness. Over any considerable period of time, we get worse, never
better. (GA, 1989a, p.3)

You must have good reasons to work toward a new life free from gambling. Look
over this exercise, and list 10 reasons why you want to stop gambling.

1. _____________________________________________________________________

2. _____________________________________________________________________

3. _____________________________________________________________________

4. _____________________________________________________________________

5. _____________________________________________________________________

6. _____________________________________________________________________
21

7. _____________________________________________________________________
Page

8. _____________________________________________________________________
9. _____________________________________________________________________

10. _____________________________________________________________________

After completing this exercise, take a long look at yourself. What is the truth?
___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

1. Have there been times when you were powerless over gambling?

Yes No

2. Have there been times when your life was unmanageable?

Yes No

I am in the _______________________________.
____ Pre-contemplation stage
____ Contemplation stage
____ Preparation stage
____ Action stage
____ Maintenance stage
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