more than kisses, letters mingle souls
Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/52875061.
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandoms: Poirot - Agatha Christie, Agatha Christie's Poirot (TV)
Relationship: Arthur Hastings/Hercule Poirot
Characters: Arthur Hastings (Poirot), Hercule Poirot
Additional Tags: Epistolary, Established Relationship, lets pretend homosexuality wasnt
sth you could be arrested for, otherwise i would have had to make the
letters appear way more platonic, Fluff, Love Letters
Language: English
Stats: Published: 2024-01-07 Words: 1,437 Chapters: 1/1
more than kisses, letters mingle souls
by shOokspeared
Summary
Hastings has to leave Whitehaven Mansions for a friend's birthday dinner in the North of
England. Due to a dentist appointment, Poirot is unable to join him.
Fortunately, letters exist.
Notes
I recommend listening to La vie en rose by Édith Piaf while reading this.
See the end of the work for more notes
September 23rd, 1922.
My dear Poirot,
It has barely been a mere few days since my arrival in Berwick-upon-Tweed and I already
seem to miss your particular kind of oddities. You know best how I enjoy my hunting, as I
bore you with my detailed accounts every so often, but it has been perhaps a little boring
when that endeavour ended.
Gerald is a perfectly amiable host but I have underestimated how often one can exchange
trivialities with the same people. I do fear your little grey cells have spoiled me for
conversation, Poirot. And don’t even try to deny it, I am very sure that the previous sentence
has caused a smile to appear on your face!
Ah, well. I am almost hoping that perhaps Gerald will stumble again into a crime, at least that
would bring some fresh wind into the northernmost town of England — as the map loves to
tell me.
I do hope that Miss Lemon is not too bothered by my absence — I am perfectly aware of
your tendency to replace me with others when you’re working and I’m not there. As
flattering and insulting it is, at the same time. Therefore, please attempt to exclude your dear
secretary from your detective work. Think of her delicate shelving system! In ruins, I tell
you, it will be. Well, perhaps not in ruins per se, I believe that would only happen if I were
again trying to find a damned receipt of yours.
I have included some of my recent photographs. And before you say it, I still remember your
opinion on mine from that case in the hunter’s lodge so there’s no need to repeat them but
nevertheless I wish to share my sights with you, old friend. At least this time, you get to see
them without me cluttering the bathroom with them! (An acquaintance has also assured me
they are not underexposed this time.)
I hope your appointment with Dr. Morley went well, old chap. I know you're not very keen
on dentistry. Perhaps one of my mystery novels can distract you, even if it's just you
criticising the lack of realism and the detective's methods.
Eagerly awaiting your reply,
Arthur Hastings
September 25th, 1922.
Mon cher Hastings,
As much as I am delighted by your photographs and to see the world through your eyes, there
is no need for you to send me ten at once, non!
I have indulged your idea, mon ami, and borrowed one of your Sherlock Holmes novels.
Hastings, I really cannot tell what you like about that detective. And I forbid you from
drawing any kind of parallels between me and that Anglais. But I must applaud the writing of
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. C'est fabuleux! The language and that magnificent Dr. Watson, a
most rejuvenating read.
Of course, you have noticed the absence of Hercule Poirot! I would be vraiment déçu, if you
had not. And do not complain about a lack of crime, there is always the chance that you
might stumble into a case without noticing it yourself, as you are prone to. But what will you
do if a crime is committed, my good genius?
Amicalement,
Hercule Poirot
September 30th, 1922.
My dear Poirot,
There is indeed a need for me to send you ten photographs! To prove it, I have included a
dozen this time. If the opportunity presents itself, I’m sure the Inspector would appreciate the
pictures of the greenery. If not, I shall show him myself when I return.
Sherlock Holmes! Why, I would have never guessed. Ah, my friend, I assumed you would
choose the more recent ones like Van Dine's The Benson Murder case. I was sure the
detective's interest in the psychological reasons behind the crime would appeal to you.
While I am not surprised by your disregard for Holmes himself (even though I quite fancy
him as a character), your appreciation of Dr. Watson takes me by surprise! I would have
thought him bumbling around the crime scenes and not quite arriving at the solutions himself
would deter you from him! Most curious, old chap.
Why, if a crime were to occur I would investigate it of course! I would at least take diligent
notes about the who, what, when and where. Perhaps even I and the local constabulary could
catch the culprit. If they were receptive to my assistance of course...
Do not think that I haven’t noticed the lack of mention of your dentist appointment. I am
going to let it remain unspoken for now, purely because I cannot corner you in a letter as well
as in person, Hercule.
Kind regards,
Arthur Hastings
October 2nd, 1922.
Mon cher Hastings,
And once again you stumble into la solution and yet never notice it yourself! Ah, but this
time you will have to make do without Poirot's little grey cells, mon ami. Perhaps by the time
you have returned, you will have found out why I am so fond of le bon docteur!
Furthermore, I will not be showing your pictures to Inspector Japp. After all, Poirot is not
your errand boy!
Miss Lemon drew my attention to the fact that my lack of written sentiment regarding your
absence might come across as dismissing. I, of course, valiantly defended you, mon
capitaine, that my Hastings knew better than to doubt Poirot’s affection for his dearest friend.
However, she has rightly pointed out that it is always nice to hear such thoughts aloud. I will
borrow a page out of the Belgian book for this, as you Englishmen say.
Mon très cher Arthur, home is not the same sans toi. None of your crooked little ties or
bowties are there for me to straighten. The blanket remains undisturbed during the night
without you always pulling it away from me in your sleep. The washing up of the dishes,
c’est plus rapidement! The efficiency has risen in this household but at what cost, mon ange?
You do take excellent notes. Often with the attention paid to the wrong details but your mind
is an objet très fascinant, Arthur. It often wanders where Poirot's does not and has often
granted me the missing puzzle to solve a crime. Though I doubt that your skills would
complement those of the local police force as well as they do mine. They are stupid. Thinking
when they shouldn't be (when Poirot explicitly tells them not to) and then coming to all the
wrong conclusions.
Also, you could not corner Hercule Poirot if he did not want to be cornered, Hastings.
Affectueusement,
Hercule Poirot
October 4th, 1922.
My dear Hercule,
You cannot see it but when I read your letter (and each time when I thought of it afterwards,
which was often) I was blushing right up to my ears! My dear, I must confess I do not know
how to reply, except perhaps: I love you too.
You have complimented my notes, Poirot, and I do believe those notes have helped me solve
the mystery of your affection for Dr. Watson. You see, I wrote down his characteristics and
are you curious to know what Gerald said when he stumbled across them? What am I talking
about, of course you are. 'Hastings, why are you making a list about yourself?' he asked me.
Naturally, I explained to him that the note was not in fact about me but about Dr. Watson
from the Sherlock Holmes stories. And then I had it!
Hercule, you like this doctor because he reminds you of me! Why, this is a most surprising
but pleasant outcome. Unfortunately, I cannot echo your sentiment seeing as none of the
detectives come even close to you.
I do anticipate that I will barely have time to receive your next letter before I must depart for
the train back to London. I am full of anticipation for my return home.
Hm, and I suppose that time you pushed Cedric off the table was also entirely on purpose
then?
Love,
Arthur
October 5th, 1922.
Mon cher Arthur,
Now it is my turn to nod in agreement. Of course, you resemble the doctor et évidemment
none of your little fictional detectives could ever rival Hercule Poirot!
I shall not be addressing that Venezuelan souvenir of yours with the odeur terrible. Good
riddance!
I will be awaiting your return on the platform, mon ange. And prepare some of your
sandwiches.
Affectueusement,
Hercule
The United Kingdom Telegraph Company
Express Telegram
RECEIVED at
Great Northern Railway 2701
Edinburgh to London Via Sheffield 12.27 pm
Captain Arthur Hastings 8B
Je t'aime. Poirot
End Notes
Thank you for reading!
French translations:
Mon cher - My dear
non - no
mon ami - my friend
Anglais - Englishman (but can also mean English)
C'est fabuleux! - It's fabulous!
la solution - the solution
vraiment déçu - really disappointed
Amicalement - best wishes (in a letter)
le bon docteur - the good doctor
mon capitaine - my captain
Mon très cher - my dearest
sans toi - without you
c’est plus rapidement! - It's faster!
mon ange - my angel
objet très fascinant - most fascinating object
Affectueusement - Affectionately (to end a letter)
et évidemment - and obviously
odeur terrible - awful smell
Je t'aime - I love you
References:
Poirot about Sherlock Holmes & Dr. Watson: The Clocks
"'Ah, non, non, not Sherlock Holmes! It is the author, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, that I salute.
These tales of Sherlock Holmes are in reality far-fetched, full of fallacies and most artificially
contrived. But the art of the writing—ah, that is entirely different. The pleasure of the
language, the creation above all of that magnificent character, Dr. Watson. Ah, that was
indeed a triumph.’ He sighed and shook his head, and murmured, obviously by a natural
association of ideas, 'Ce cher Hastings, My friend Hastings of whom you have often heard
me speak. It is a long time since I have had news of him.'"
Poirot about Hastings & Photography: The Mystery of Hunter's Lodge
"Of course black bearded man was not Havering only you or Japp would have such an idea
wire me description of housekeeper and what clothes she wore this morning same of Mrs.
Havering do not waste time taking photographs of interiors they are underexposed and not in
the least artistic."
Hastings cluttering the apartment full with his photography: Episode Wasp's Nest (Poirot TV)
"I [Poirot] cannot enter even my own bathroom without walking into the Hanging Gardens of
Babylon."
Poirot about Hastings stumbling into things: The Murder of Roger Ackroyd
"For he [Hastings] had a knack, that one, of stumbling over the truth unawares—without
noticing it himself,"
Poirot calling Hastings a 'good genius': The ABC Murders
"I woke to find Poirot’s hand on my shoulder. 'Mon cher Hastings,' he said affectionately. 'My
good genius.'”
Poirot & his dislike of dentists: One, Two, Buckle My Shoe
"There are certain humiliating moments in the lives of the greatest of men. It has been said
that no man is a hero to his valet. To that may be added that few men are heroes to
themselves at the moment of visiting their dentist. Hercule Poirot was morbidly conscious of
this fact."
Hastings & Gerald (Parker): The Adventure of the Cheap Flat
"I had been spending the evening with an old friend of mine, Gerald Parker. ‘There had been,
perhaps, about half a dozen people there besides my host and myself, and the talk fell, as it
was bound to do sooner or later wherever Parker found himself, on the subject of house-
hunting in London. Houses and flats were Parker’s special hobby."
Inspector Japp's interest in plants: The Market Basing Mystery
"When off duty, Japp was an ardent botanist, and discoursed upon minute flowers possessed
of unbelievably lengthy Latin names (somewhat strangely pronounced) with an enthusiasm
even greater than that he gave to his cases."
Hastings agreeing with Poirot: Episode Dumb Witness (Poirot TV)
Poirot: Hastings, a favour. Whatever I should say, you will nod in agreement.
Hastings: Did I ever do otherwise?
Hastings & Sandwiches: Episode The Tragedy at Marsdon Manor (Poirot TV), Episode The
Adventure of the Western Star (Poirot TV)
Poirot straightening Hastings' ties & bowties: among others, Episode The Adventure of the
Egyptian Tomb (Poirot TV)
The slow washing up (because Poirot is dissatisfied with how Hastings cleans the dishes):
Episode The ABC Murders (Poirot TV)
Cedric, the taxidermied alligator: Episode The ABC Murders (Poirot TV)
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