Tabletop RPG

OR A Total Conversion Mod for

DUNGEONS & DRAGONS™ 5th EDITION
(and other TTRPG Systems if you’re
feeling creative)
By Alessandro Arena-DeRosa
 Ver. 1.0 – Released 7/27/2021

!! This game contains Crude Humor, Strange

Happenings, & Grim Musings !!

A Game Made with (Nearly) 30 Hours, MS Word Icons & a Lot of Silly Hats by:

Alessandro Arena-DeRosa
(@sandromaycry)

Jackson KaneLong Richard Kelly

Special Thanks (@SprintingOwl)
Powered by
The Ham Planet  Fed by
 Game
Lampreys

Additional Thanks to:

Virgil the Pug & My Endlessly Creative Friends
The Planet Earth and Its Beautiful Creatures
My Older Brother (Who I Still Don’t Know if He’s Joking and I’m Pretty Sure That’s the Point)
My Waifu✧*:･ﾟ
Every Poor Kindhearted Soul Who Has Tried to Get Me Into
DUNGEONS & DRAGONS™ 5th EDITION
(don’t @ me WotC IDK how to license your monolith properly at this hour)
WHAT YOU’LL
NEED TO PLAY
A FULL SET OF DICE (d4, d6, d8, 2d10, d12 & d20)

2-6 WILLING PARTICIPANTS

A COPY OF THE DUNGEONS & DRAGONS™ 5 EDITION th

GM HANDBOOK (OR SIMILAR TTRPG)

CHARACTER SHEETS
FAMILIARITY / / CREATIVITY
HYDRATION

Things You [Can] Optionally Include

• A SELECTION OF APPROPRIATE MUSIC TO SET THE MOOD
• A BELL OR CHIME
• A FRIEND WHO HAS COMMITTED THE ONLY UNFORGIVABLE SIN
• A BAG OF SPIDERS (LIVING OR FAKE) LABELED “For The People”
• CRICONE (IDK IT WAS ON MY TO-DO LIST FOR THIS BOOK)
• A TABLE TO PLAY AT
WHO IS WHAT
IS THIS
“I Got Hit By A Meteor & Was Reincarnated as the Hero
of a Tabletop RPG” (Henceforth referred to as “Meteor”)
is a visceral act of group story-crafting involving dice and
the evisceration of a Tabletop RPG of your choice. This
book will largely cover how to run Meteor for DUNGEONS &
DRAGONS™ 5th EDITION. The goal is to crash the game.

Meteor’s rules, setting and ethos is malleable and should

be customized to each GM. Meteor is meant to be as
much a reflection on what is “a game” as it is an absurdist
free-association fever dream and that you and your
friends will share. I recommend none of the
participants except the GM ever see this PDF.

This game’s target audience is primarily GMs and players

THIS FOR

who enjoy absurdist humor as well as near-endless

amounts of reality-bending improv. It is also primarily
targeted at seasoned TTRPG players who already have
familiarity with mechanics and tropes, and thus can have
their expectations subverted. Player buy-in is key as is
setting good safety boundaries. However, (generally) the
less your players know about what they’re getting into, the
better. You should simply inform them that they will be
playing a DUNGEONS & DRAGONS™ 5th EDITION one-shot.
Some touchstones include:
• Books: Inferno (1472), Snow Crash (1992), pretty much
anything by Jane Austin or Umberto Eco
• Video Games: Final Fantasy (1987), Garry’s Mod (2006),
The Stanley Parable (2011/2013), Gacha Games
• Films: Persona (1966), Brazil (1985)
• Anime: Konasuba (Which I haven’t seen), Pop Team Epic
• Vaporwave, Mashups and Excessive Modding
• The last thing you ate, played, and listened to.
 we begin as all ttrpgs do and as all ttrpgs are
with a guided meditation

close your eyes

take three deep breaths
hold the air for ten seconds . . .
feel your chest relax as you slowly sigh it out . . .
notice the feeling at the tips of your senses
what do you feel? what do you hear?
allow it to drift away

breathe in once more

your day is now behind you
your purest memories, your burning ambitions
all begin to find a state of quiet and stillness in the breathing
notice as your world quiets and calms around you
your body begins to feel a warmth behind you
the floor shakes in a soothing rumble
an impact but no pain . . .
you awaken
 . . . in a cold hostile place . . . it is empty here . . . except for a devil . . .

FACING THE GM
OR WELCOME TO HELL | OR A POOR MAN’S VELVET ROOM

When players have shed their mortal coil, they’ll be sent straight to the icy ninth layer of hell, face
to face with the Devil themself… Or whichever similar location works best for your party. This act is
(of course) a willful act of delusion, as they instead will be in front of you the GM. The Devil should
be an amalgam of your characteristics as well as traits you may associate with an underworld or
underworld-adjacent creature. Some traits you may wish to include are the ability to turn into a cat,
horns and sunglasses, three mouths in your stomach that chew endlessly on three poor souls (whose
bums dangle in the breeze). Your reveal should be grim and ominous, only to be followed by disco
lights and a voice that oozes bravado and style.
As history has shown, supernatural entities have a proclivity for challenging mortal humans to various
games using souls as bargaining chip. This instance is no different. As hell is becoming increasingly
empty with the rise of forgiveness, the Devil is bored and thus challenges the Players to a game of
DUNGEONS & DRAGONS™ 5th EDITION where they can redeem their souls by winning. If your
Players ask why they’re in hell to begin with, it should be for being in proximity to a member of the
party who has committed an unforgivable sin. You can instigate this karmic shift by convincing a
player to “blasphem[e] against the Spirit” [Matthew 12: 31-32] by calling it a dumb name. You can
also make up your own unforgivable sin personalized to the Players at the table.
Thus, the Devil becomes the GM, and you are the Devil. As the GM you will be your players’ spiritual
guide and touchstone with reality. You’ll be playing the role of all the NPCs, the environment, the
Devil and of course, most importantly, yourself. In this cold void of the afterlife, you should encourage
your Players to reflect on their lives and regrets. Remind them that while this is a chance to remake
themselves, they’ll keep all their memories from their past. They’ll also get to bring one physical item
with them from their mortal time on Earth (it can be something that was lost).
 _____ __ __ _______ _______ _____ ______
/ ____| \/ | /\ | __ \ \ / /_ _/ ____| ____|
| | __| \ / | / \ | | | \ \ / / | || | | |__
| | |_ | |\/| | / /\ \ | | | |\ \/ / | || | | __|
| |__| | | | | / ____ \| |__| | \ / _| || |____| |____
\_____|_| |_| /_/ \_\_____/ \/ |_____\_____|______|
/--------------------------------------------------------------\
| OR PLAYING THE FOOL IN THE CROWN |
\--------------------------------------------------------------/
As the GM you’ll need to ask yourself: What does a TTRPG mean to
me? What is a Quest? What is a game? What tropes am I compelled
towards? Did I drink enough water today? And channel this all
into your version of The World. You’ll also be selling Meteor’s
meta-narrative of ostensibly playing DUNGEONS & DRAGONS™ 5th
EDITION despite nearly every mechanic in this game contradicting
that. You’ll print out the standard Character Sheets, prepare
the customary dice, snacks and perhaps some classic JRPG music.
Most importantly, you’ll ensure your players are having fun!

====================== PLAYING IT STRAIGHT =====================

Throughout the entire experience it’s important to say everything
with as straight a face as possible. Treat random Player ideas
like routine features. When they ask “Wait isn’t Armor supposed to
work differently?” assure them that this is in fact how DUNGEONS
& DRAGONS™ 5th EDITION is played. This deadpan delivery of complete
falsehoods is what will truly bring Meteor to life. Some common
phrases you should get used to using:
(1) “I know how to play this game.”
(2) “I’m just trying to make sure we all play by the
original rules of DUNGEONS & DRAGONS™ 5th EDITION.”
(3) “If you take the “Drone Swarm” spell, you will need
to have “Arms Dealer” in your background, which I’ll
let you add now if you want. I just want to make sure
we stay away from Homebrew for this session. I want
to keep everything above the board.”
(4) “I don’t know what that mechanic does. It’s probably
not important.”
(5) “Sure, that sounds like a thing you could do.”
(6) “I didn’t hear a word of what you said. But I agree
completely and it seems like it’s within the bounds of
the rules as written. Which is what’s most important.”
================================================================
HELPING PROP UP PLAYER CREATIVITY
================================================================
As GM you’ll act as sounding board and megaphone for your Players’
crazy ideas. Work with them to come up with crazy Spell ideas,
when they’re leveling remind them that they can do anything or
suggest a vague archetype they might enjoy.
A great reward you can use for Player creativity and to give them
the feeling like they’ve begun to truly master the game is sliding
over a mountain of dice (I know you or your friends have one) and
saying, “Roll all of these, that’s how much Damage you do.”
================================================================
EMBRACING THE OBVIOUS
================================================================
The World (as you’ll come to learn) heavily leans on video and
tabletop game tropes. Thus the meta-culture around such things can
be leaned into as well. For example, if a Player gets lost in a
maze and has access to the internet, they can declare that they’re
looking up a Walkthrough. Naturally there’ll only be a single
Walkthrough available on GameFAQ or perhaps an overly long YouTube
video with a 4-minute intro about the streamer’s merch line (which
the Player may need to make a Constitution Save against).
Other examples include referring to the game as having certain
“metas” or upcoming expansions that the developers are working on.
For instance, if a Player takes a Spell they’ve named “Pocket
Dimension” you can remark that the spell has actually become a
very large component of the gold farming meta when used in
conjunction with certain premium items (You are, of course, unsure
if there’s been a patch issued to address this meta).
You may also choose to extrapolate on the ripple effects of certain
Spells, abilities, or choices. Like, for instance, how creating a
Water Clone is morally dubious as the Clone will have full self-
awareness and not be able to emotionally understand that it is
merely a temporary copy of the person whose thoughts and memories
it has. Or how using an Orbital Laser strike twice before a Long
Rest may melt The World’s ozone layer.

##Most importantly, do not refer back to this manual too much##

##and instead rely on your own hazy recollection of these rules##
##as well as your own creativity, ingenuity and absurdity! Each##
##version of Meteor will be unique to the ideas and improvisat-##
##-ions that your group comes up with and that’s a good thing! ##
 PLAYER CHARACTER CREATION
As your Players come to grips with their own deaths, they’ll be met with the thrilling
opportunity of making a new self for themselves. It can be any gender, take any form,
and hail from whatever plain of imagination they may force unto The World. However,
before Players get to things like Race, Class or even Name, they’ll roll Stats.

First ensure all Players have DUNGEONS & DRAGONS™ 5th EDITION Character Sheets
and associated Spell Sheets (these can be found online with ease). Next you will instruct
them to roll all 7 of their dice in their dice set. As they are rolling it’ll become timely to
reveal “This roll will determine your Stats.” From the d4, d6, d8, d10, d12 and d20 rolls
Players will assign one of each of the results to one of the six Core Stats (Strength,
Dexterity, Constitution, Intelligence, Wisdom and Charisma). This number will
constitute the flat bonus Players get when making a Skill Check associated with that Stat.
Skill Checks are used whenever the outcome of a situation is in doubt. Players roll d20
and then add the most relevant Core Stat as a bonus. The higher the result, the better
the outcome. You’ll see a small bubble below each Core Stat, this is to track any additional
bonuses you get from gear, buffs or consumables.
Fun Fact: There are six different shapes of dice to each represent the six different stats.

The d100’s result will be directly input as the Player’s Maximum Hit Points (Note:
This is unaffected by Constitution). Hit Points are expended whenever the Player takes
damage, and can be healed with Spells, Potions or Short and Long Rests. It should be
noted the difference between Short and Long Rests is primarily narrative, as Long Rests
allow Players to be ambushed, visited by strange dreams or recruited by assassins.

Next Players will pick 3 Skills to specialize in from the 18 available. Once they’ve picked
up a Skill they’ll roll a d20 to determine that Skill’s bonus. Whenever a Player rolls for a
Skill Check with a Major Stat, they can sometimes add their Skill Bonus where applicable.

Example: Todd Howard rolled a 16 on his d20 and may assign that as a +16 in
Constitution. When faced with a giant wooden sign falling on him, he will make a Skill
Check for Constitution, adding +16 to his d20 roll. Todd also has a +5 in Sleight of Hand
which he adds on to this roll as he “slides the sign away.”

Note: With the additions made in supplements like “EBERRON: RISING FROM THE
LAST WAR” or “TASHA’S CAULDRON OF EVERYTHING” Players can select from an
even wider pool of Skills, including Scrying, Cryomancy, Speak with Horses, Swimming,
Driving (Automotive), Guts, Netrunning and more!
 Picking a Class, Race and Alignment
Once Players understand the basic mechanics of Skill Checks you should ask each one
if they’ve selected a Class yet. When asked what Classes are available, make direct eye
contact (if possible) and say “Yes.” Also remember to remark which book a selected
Class may be from once a Player chooses theirs, so you sound smart. Where applicable,
some Classes Begin with a Sub-Class. Other classes can get a Sub-Class at Level 9.
Once Players have picked their Class you will give them a selection of Spells and
sometimes starting Weapons or Items based on what you think this Class should have.
You should not explain how any of these things work until absolutely necessary.
Example: A Player explains they’re choosing the Swordsmith Class, which allows them to
summon swords and craft swords. You should remark that you’re familiar with the Class from
CURSE OF STRAHD and ask if they’re choosing the Sub-Class “Metal: Curses”, “Metal: Glass,”
or “Metal: Clowns.” They pick “Metal: Curses” and thus you give them the Cantrip “Summon
Cursed Sword” as well as 2 Charges of the Level 3 Spell “Blade-Storm.”
Race is completely up to the Player and has little to no bearing on actual Gameplay or
how NPCs will treat that Character. Racial modifiers generally feel kinda weird, however
you can reward creativity here. Example: A Player decides to play as a Cosmic Demi-Being,
Killer of 100 Gods. You then inform them they gain Dark Vision as a passive racial trait.

Players will then reflect on their Alignment. Alignment represents where their character
fits in The World and where their moral compass points. They can either pick their own,
or be assigned one by you. Example Alignments: South-West, Vertical, Perfect, Royalist,
Baja Blast, Donkey Kong: Tropical Freeze™. Remind Players that only Characters of certain
Alignments can use certain Spells and Items.
Knowing all this about your Characters, you may now assign each of them an Armor
Class. Armor Class negates a fixed amount of Damage and allows for the use of heavier
and more advanced Armors (Such as Power Armor). Generally, Spell Casters will start
at 0 Armor Class, Rogues at 1-2, Tanks at 3-4 and actual Tanks around 7-8.

Speed determines how fast a Character usually moves and their likelihood to Flee from
a fight. Speed is equal to your Dexterity modifier. When asked about Hit-Dice you
should inform Players that Hit Dice merely catalogues the number dice their Dice Hit (or
a similarly asinine mechanic). They will unlock an achievement if their Hit Dice hits 100.
Lastly, you’ll have Players Roll for initiative by rolling a d20 and recording the result.
This will be their Initiative for the rest of the game! However, they can boost their
initiative using Items, Spells, Level Ups and Premium Boosts.
 Leveling Up & Spell Casting
(OR How to Power Level & Break the Game)

UID 600564821

Characters Level Up for every 100 XP they gain. Max Character

Level, as in DUNGEONS & DRAGONS™ 5th EDITION, is 99.

Every Level Per 2 Levels Per 3 Levels

Characters get +1 Gain a new Spell, Add +d20 to
in a Core Stat of Trait or Recharge Maximum Hit
their Choice an old Spell Points

Per 9 Levels At Level 20 At Level 99

Add a Sub-Class Characters can Gain a single
or Multi-Class start a Guild World-altering
Wish

Spells come in two forms: One-time use Level Spells and

Cantrips which can be used an infinite number of times. Each
Level Spell has a Power Rating (1-9) that helps signify how
powerful the Spell is. Spells can have multiple charges, but once
all Charges are expended the Spell is gone forever until the
Character relearns it again from an expert or a Level-Up.
When a Player asks for a specific Spell consider how many
Damage Dice they’re likely to roll, as well as the Spell’s potential
outside of combat. This can help you determine whether the
spell is an apocalyptic Level 9 Single Charge “Nuclear Punch,”
or a simple Cantrip like “Conjure Ferret.”
As Players explore The World they will
occasionally cause a Random Encounter by rolling
low on a d20 while exploring. This along with
scripted encounters causes their vision to shift
violently and their movement to stop completely.
As their vision readjusts, they are face-to-face
with a group of hostile enemies. Going in order
of Initiative (as in DUNGEONS & DRAGONS™ 5th EDITION)
Players and the enemies will take turns until
one side has fallen or fled. On their turn
Players can do one of the following actions:

Fight -Character uses a basic attack and

deals d20 direct DMG to the monster
of their choosing, adding bonuses
from Weapons, Buffs, & Proficiencies.

Magic -Character uses a Spell and resolves

its affects.

Item -Character uses an item or acts

creatively with the environment.

Run -Character Rolls d20 + Speed to Flee.

Gaining XP, Loot Drops and Death
OR: Measuring Rewards OR: Lootsplosions 101
XP is awarded equally from every enemy Characters
defeat. The amount of XP is left up to a Dice Roll and
the number of Dice rolled reflects the difficulty of
the enemy defeated.
Ex: An Imp gives d12 XP, while a Dragon gives 2d100

Gold is awarded in exactly the same way as XP. Along

with Gold, monsters may drop Crafting Items, Unique
Weapons or even Spells!
Ex: An Imp drops d10 Gold and possibly a knife.
Meanwhile, Dragon drops d100 Gold, Mithril Scales and
a Spell of Acid Breathing.

When one member of the Party successfully Flees,

the rest of the Party can freely leave the combat
whenever they’d like. Unless they’re a scripted
encounter, the enemy will de-spawn afterwards.
Characters get to keep rewards from enemies they
defeated, even if they decided to Flee.

When a Character Falls to Zero HP they will die immediately.

Resurrection items and ceremonies can be used to bring the
Character back. Until then the Character will only be a Ghost.
They can use their 6 Death Saves to cause an automatic
Success or Failure on rolls at the table, but not their own.

In the event of a Total Party Kill, the Party will have to

perform a Corpse Run or pay an NPC to resurrect them.
 Weapons & Crafting
Weapons come in every variety of shapes and sizes . They offer Characters a
meaty Attack Bonus, which adds a flat number for a Character’s damage
output when making an Attack action with that Weapon. A common phrase
used in DUNGEONS & DRAGONS™ 5th EDITION is to say a Weapon or Buff
grants a Character a “+5 to Hit” which is to say that their Hit deals +5 Damage.
Weapons can also deal specific Damage/Types, such as Fire, Ice, Holy, Fish,
4k 60fps, and Classic Rock.______________________________________________________
____________________________________
Characters can also craft new Weapons, Armors, Items and even Spells using
the Enemy Drops and materials collected from The World, like wood or iron.

Gold (GP) & King’s Coins (CP / PP)

Not even this World is free from the suffocating clutches of capitalist
currency. As a result, Characters will need Gold (GP) to buy goods, services,
and places to stay. They can gain Gold by slaying Monsters or completing
quests. GMs would be wise to remember The World has its own economy
that can be rigged, played or even crashed._______________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________
King’s Coins (CP) can be found in The World by solving puzzles, completing
unique quests, and looking in hidden places. Once players meet the
Hierophant, they’ll unlock the Player Shop where they can spend King’s Coins
on cosmetics, gacha rolls and rare materials. Glimmering King’s Coins (PP)
can also be purchased with currency from the Players’ mortal lives.

Tip: Anything can be a crafting material and should be treated as such. If a player
crashes into a rock, it should drop iron. If they punch a tree, it drops wood. Grabbing
random rats can reward crumbs and grave robbing can yield bones. Players can even
mine for oil and plutonium if they dig deep enough! Keep filling your Players’
inventory with seemingly grey items, such as rusty pans or an Imp’s favorite rock.
 THE WORLD

TOP LOCALES
Step Into The World: A Land of FIELDS OF BEGINNINGS
SUN VILLAGE
Fantasy, Prospect & Whimsy
NECROMANCER’S MAZE
The World represents a very gamified and hyper-
fantastical reality where anything is possible. It’s a HANGED MAN FOREST
place where passing jokes and random ideas are GLIMMERING SEA
rapidly woven into its unique lore.
STARLIGHT OBSERVATORY
Each World is different depending on the GM who
runs it. We have some tips to get you started on FAE SWAMPS
crafting one that best reflects you!
SEWERS

Your Characters awake in a lush open field, a field of new

beginnings. The grass is tall, the air is fresh, and the clouds THE TOWER OF EVIL
are beautiful. To their East they see a grand a bustling city in
the distance. Much closer, to the West is a small village where
smokestacks climb out of ovens and smithies. To the North is
a cliff leading to a tumultuous sea, across which players can
see a foreboding Tower. A storm broods and boils above it.
Lastly, to the South is a dark and mysterious forest. Here players can find Shadowskull,
Overlord of Chaos who serves as a
Set-ups like these give Players plenty of options and draw off main antagonist in The World.
familiar tropes, while still leaving them lost and bewildered.
Defeating him allows the Tree of
When crafting your World, try not to prep too much. Let the Fortune to sprout from The Tower
tropes, locales, NPCs, and Quests come to you as your Players and unlocks the end-game.
explore it. Think about what central aesthetics you want to
pull from and subvert it where you find it most interesting to.
This goes for Monster Design as well. Each Monster (unless
they’re a Boss) can only take 1 Action per turn, usually doing THE CITY OF STRENGTH
a dice’s worth of Damage or causing a Status Effect you make
up on the spot (for instance a Fairy causing two Players to
switch characters briefly or a Sandwich Elemental turning a
Character into part-Mayonnaise permanently). Consider how
these help tell the story of the kind of Monster they’re fighting The Emperor and King of this
realm is found in this bustling city.
and further flesh out the world. Oh, and be sure to Roll for
Craftsman and Quest Givers of
their initiative when they spawn! every kind too!

Here Players will unlock access to

Online Features, the Heirophant
and the Player Shop.
CRASHING
THE GAME
Eventually you will reach a point of Power Creep where the players will LITERALLY
be able to break the game. This takes many forms, it could be an infinitely looping
combo of wishes, holding more Gold than the game can handle or perhaps doing so
many multiples of Damage that the game simply breaks down from the calculations.

Once you get into the territory that your internal meat computer starts to strain
too hard, that’s the time where you need to assess whether the game is crashing.

When the game crashes, have your Players close their eyes. Put on some static or
perhaps the old internet dial-up sound. Inform them of the situation in a guided
mediation. Some useful phrases:

It feels like reality is stopping and starting

Seconds last for minutes and minutes last for seconds
You feel the cells in your body turn to blocks and reorganize and retexture
at dizzying speeds
The universe rips and tears to the sound of hissing fans and cracking glass
You feel no pain and for a brief moment the word pain is replaced with the
word “error” in your head
error error error error error error error error error

You awaken at this table. Your life is restored. You have triumphed.

Take a deep breath.

(kind of . . . there’s not too much left)
 how are you doing?
are you remembering to hydrate?
it is something needed for the game . . .
coffee does not count . . .
but juice perhaps . . .

i have 3 tips for you

3 nothings to remember before we continue

1 – NOTHING is too childish or obscure for you to

include in your World.
2 – NOTHING is too overpowered to let the player
have . . . this is about crashing the game you know?
3 – NOTHING should stop you from keeping your
players safe and healthy. if they feel uncomfortable
with a situation or gag that is happening, be attentive
to those needs and boundaries.

now let us resume . . . with some optional rules . . .

and please keep drinking water . . .
 WILDMAGIC

WELCOME TO WILDMAGIC
WILDMAGIC in Meteor gives you over 320+ options for strange happenings and cosmic shifts.
The rules are simple, but you’ll need a few things first:
Namely a DUNGEONS & DRAGONS™ 5th EDITION Dungeon Master’s Guide.

ROLL A D4

Multiply this by 100 – 4s should be read as 0 on this roll.

ROLL 2D10 OR 1D20

You’ll get a number between 1-100 (or 1-20 if you rolled 3 previously) to add to the last roll.

GO TO THAT PAGE

The first thing that catches your eye is your igniter for the results of the WILDMAGIC.

WILDMAGIC can come from a variety of sources, including Wild-Beans, Spells, Status Effects
and of course the Goblin Slushies from 7/11 (Which taste mostly like Green Apple). Some other
forms of strange RNG you can use include:
• The Cosmic Lottery: Rux the Hermit is a cosmic entity that sells exotic loot in the forgotten corners of
The World (and special armors when it’s the weekend). It can also sell the Players 1 Lottery Ticket each
day for 1 King’s Coin. Players will then pick a string of 6 numbers, the first result on a search is your
igniter for their prize. Note: Where you search these 6 numbers is up to you. (DM me for suggestions.)
• Scrying or Crystal Ball Gazing: These activities can lead you to have the scrying Player in question reveal
the first picture on their social media feed that does not involve someone they know personally. This
picture will be the prompt for their Character’s fortune and possible future.
• The Grand Library: It holds a great deal of knowledge, and its entrances are numerous. In dungeons, at
the dead-ends of alleys, in the middle of a field for some reason… Characters will be overwhelmed by
its vast collection and leave in a panic with a singular book. This book’s topics and related rewards
(including possible Spells) are based off a random Wikipedia page that you’ll bring up.
 ____ _ _
| _ \ | | (_)
| |_) | ___ ___| |_ _ __ _ _ __ _ _
| _ < / _ \/ __| __| |/ _` | '__| | | |
| |_) | __/\__ \ |_| | (_| | | | |_| |
|____/ \___||___/\__|_|\__,_|_| \__, |
__/ |
|___/

To help you on your journey in creating your world, I’ve created

a little bestiary to help get your juices flowing. Take what you
need, hack what you’d like and enjoy the art _

6 • Imp – HP: 10 – ATK: d10 – XP/GLD: d4 – Drops: Imp Hat

# • Ghost – HP: 20 – ATK: d10 – XP/GLD: d12 – Drops: Ecto

• Plasm / Invisibility Spell – Immune to Guns

* • Fairy – HP: 20 – ATK: d12 – XP/GLD: 2d12 – Drops: Love

• Potion – Weak to Silver – Ability: Cause Players to
• switch Character Sheets for the rest of Combat.

= • Ooze – HP: 120 – Armor: 4 ATK: d20 – XP/GLD: 4d20 –

• Drops: Slime Egg – Immune to one Element – Passive:
• Any Character who attacks the Slime with melee will be
• sucked into its Ooze – Ability: Dissolve 1 Armor Point
• - Special: The first Ooze encountered will house an
• NPC that is the GM’s personal Character in the World.
Alessandro Arena-DeRosa

Meteor – 601

Various Musings: Putting the Madness of Meteor into Practice

What is Meteor? Put simply it is a game that reflects the absurdity of gamification as well

as the absurdity of life. Where these two things intersect most often is where Meteor can most

usually be found. In this short piece I’ll be going over some key examples that I’ve seen, why

they’re important, and how they may be replicated in future Meteor runs.

Spells and Spell Charges are a cornerstone of Meteor’s ethos, and their development and

deployment are a central pillar for its humor. For example, one Player asked whether they could

have a Flaming Sword Spell. In our modern society Flaming can mean a variety of things, but most

pertinently it means spicy. Thus, the Spell was granted with the specification that the flames were

also spicy, playing into the game’s farcical word-associative nature. When asked about the number

of Spell Charges there was only one obvious place to look for answers: The suggested serving size

for Spicy Doritos. Not only did this help weave in yet another absurdist element, but it also further

enhanced the game’s unpredictable nature. Would the suggested serving size be 5 chips or 50? As

it happened it was 12. By giving mundane Spells twists like these, each Player can feel like they’re

sharing in Meteor’s ridiculousness, even if they’re not playing as a half-robot laser-priest.

Sub-Class and Multi-Classes are another important way for Players to begin working

outside the box and hopefully crash the game. An outstanding example is the often forgotten, but

incredibly potent, power of the “&” in “DUNGEONS & DRAGONS™ 5th EDITION” (2014).

This infinitely multiplicative power emblemizes the cataclysmic and bombastic potentiality of the

conjunctive membrane that secures us all to one another. In other words, by picking the “&” as a
second class, one player was able to constantly take additional actions. They’d do d20+5 Damage

“&” something another action of their choosing. This escalation was further enhanced by wishes,

wild magic and the game’s other para-causal factors. All this thanks to the “&” on the

“DUNGEONS & DRAGONS™ 5th EDITION” (2014) Character Sheet. This example embodies

how important it is for Meteor to have the corner stone of a pre-established Tabletop RPG, which

the Players will slowly bend and break.

This is without saying too much about The World, whose fabric and NPCs can shift on a

dime. Common NPCs in Meteor include a cast of companion character, each of whom is custom

tailored to the Players recruiting and rescuing them. This further allows Players to express their

creativity and fill their power gap. It also creates an anchor for the Players, further investing

themselves in The World and its fate. Quests serve a near-opposite purpose, being only brief

puzzles, deliveries, or ridiculous encounters, intended mainly for shuffling Players out of one area

and into another. This shuffling guards against The World getting stale and keeps the wheel of fate

turning.

It is this blend of mechanics, abstractions, lived experiences and remixes that brings Meteor

to life. Meteor can be played for any number of hours, any number of times, yet it will never remain

the same due to Player creativity and rapid GM improvisation. Instead, manuals like the GM

Handbook for “DUNGEONS & DRAGONS™ 5th EDITION” (2014) serve as Meteor’s

foundation and help the game keep a sense of form and function before it inevitably crashes.
 are you ready?
are you prepared to guide the lost?
to breathe life into a world born from your experiences?
are you teeming with ideas and anticipation?
are you . . .
hydrated?

then open your eyes

today is a brand-new day

a new opportunity to crash the game
what strange quests will you go on?
what wishes will you make?
whatever the case

you are ready

Subject: Re: Thank you for Reading
From: alessandroad829@gmail.com
CC: dragonmaki999@collectiveunconscious.net

Thank you so much for reading “I Got Hit By A

Meteor & Was Reincarnated as the Hero of a
Tabletop RPG.” This work was a true labor of love,
and I’m glad it made its way into your hands!
If you enjoyed it, please let me know! Share
it far and wide on the internet, leave a rating
and comment on itch.io, drop me a line on Twitter,
anything and everything helps. The more people who
know about Meteor, the more the idea of these
abstract RPGs will begin to spread and infect
tables like the T-Virus in a small city!
If you end up running a game of Meteor, be
sure to let me know how it goes. I love to see how
systems like these provoke emergent gameplay and
wild ideas. Who knows, maybe you’ll be the one to
inspire some kind of Meteor Expansion?
Anyways, it’s getting late, and I’ve been
working on this for what feels like the past 14
hours non-stop, so I’m going to get some rest. But
I really did want to extend my deepest
appreciation for you spending your time, money and
precious braincells on this little abstraction.

All the best,

Alessandro AD
End.
 Achievement Unlocked

60G – You Goofed It

so, if it wasn’t already obvious by the lack of page numbers, this

book is really meant to be read in order. it’s equal parts rules and
experience so pacing is very important. i’m not so much sad if you
skipped to the last page, as i am disappointed. disappointed in you
and me. unless you’re looking for a glossary. lol glossaries. lmao.