Nowadays, some people think there should be strict regulations
on how much noise people can make, while others think that
people should be free to make as much noise as they want.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Noise pollution has always been a major problem in urbanized and modern
cities all around the world. Therefore, many people suggest that there should be
regulations regarding how much noise individuals can make, while others argue
that everyone have the right to make as much noise as they wish. In this essay, I
am going to examine both sides of the arguments, then present my personal
opinion afterwards.
On the one hand, allowing people to freely create noise is equivalent to
building a vibrant and exiting world where people’s spirits are usually up. A vast
majority of people make loud noise to express themselves or their feelings, such
as a loud karaoke night at the weekend with friends to relieve stress and recharge
batteries, or crying out to release intense emotions. In this ever-developing world,
most people have got used to loud noises surrounding their daily life and so, have
learnt to tolerate and regard loud noise as a normal part of their daily lives.
Imposing regulations limiting how much noise can be made probably means
wiping out busy festivals and music concert, along with countless entertainment
relying on noise to create an upbeat atmosphere. Additionally, having rules
regarding how much noise individuals can make might not feel practical to some
people because there is no convenient way to impose the rules yet.
On the other hand, having rules to limit noise-making can bring about
numerous benefits. In the hustle and bustle of the world, many young people
have shown the desire to leave busy cites and reside at a peaceful countryside.
The most common reason for this want is because of the rapid pace and loud
noises easily felt and heard in urbanized cities. Therefore, imposing regulations on
how much noise can be made partially helps in building a calm living
environment, making people feel peace at mind, leading to them enjoying life
more. Surrounded by a noise-polluted environment on a daily basis, many people
are facing the threat of early loss of hearing, which can be significantly
detrimental. Having clear regulations in place helps reduce the noise pollution
rate, thus, protecting the well-being of city citizens.
In conclusion, advocates of both sides have strong points to make, with the
people who supports nose-making regulations concerning about health and those
who say the opposite wanting an interesting and vibrant world. From my point of
view, clear limits should be introduced to protect the well-being and life quality of
people, but they should not be too harsh or hard to follow so as to maintain a
high-spirited world.
Here’s a detailed analysis of your essay, highlighting grammatical, structural, and word
usage issues, along with suggestions for improvement:
1. Grammatical and Structural Issues:
Introduction
"everyone have the right" → Incorrect subject-verb agreement.
Correction: "everyone has the right"
"both sides of the arguments" → "arguments" is plural, so "the" should not be used.
Correction: "both sides of the argument"
"then present my personal opinion afterwards" → "afterwards" is redundant.
Correction: "then present my personal opinion."
First Body Paragraph
"vibrant and exiting world" → "exiting" is incorrect.
Correction: "vibrant and exciting world"
"people’s spirits are usually up" → The phrase is informal and awkward.
Suggestion: "people feel more energized and lively."
"make loud noise" → "noise" is uncountable, so "loud noise" should be "loud noises."
Correction: "make loud noises"
"or crying out to release intense emotions" → "crying out" lacks clarity.
Suggestion: "or shouting to release intense emotions."
"most people have got used to loud noises surrounding their daily life" → "got used
to" is informal, and "daily life" should be "daily lives" to match "people."
Correction: "most people have become accustomed to loud noises in their daily lives."
"Imposing regulations limiting how much noise can be made probably means
wiping out busy festivals and music concert"
o "music concert" → "music concerts" (plural needed)
o "probably means wiping out" → "could lead to the disappearance of" (more
formal)
Correction: "Imposing regulations limiting noise levels could lead to the
disappearance of busy festivals and music concerts."
"countless entertainment relying on noise" → "entertainment" is uncountable, so
"relying" should be changed.
Correction: "countless forms of entertainment that rely on noise."
"might not feel practical to some people because there is no convenient way to
impose the rules yet."
o "feel practical" → "seem practical" (better verb choice)
Correction: "might not seem practical to some people because there is no
effective way to enforce these rules yet."
Second Body Paragraph
"bring about lots of positive effects" → "lots of" is too informal.
Correction: "bring about many positive effects."
"young people have shown the desire to leave busy cites" → "cites" is a typo.
Correction: "cities"
"The most common reason for this want is because of" → "want" is incorrect here,
and "because of" is redundant.
Correction: "The most common reason for this desire is the rapid pace and loud noises
in urban cities."
"making people feel peace at mind" → Incorrect phrase.
Correction: "making people feel at peace."
"leading to them enjoying life more" → "leading them to enjoy life more" (better
structure).
Correction: "which leads them to enjoy life more."
"Surrounded by a noise-polluted environment on a daily basis" → "noise-polluted
environment" sounds unnatural.
Correction: "Constant exposure to a noisy environment."
"many people are facing the threat of early loss of hearing" → Awkward phrasing.
Correction: "many people face the risk of early hearing loss."
"thus, protecting the well-being of city citizens." → "City citizens" is redundant; just
"citizens" is enough.
Correction: "thus protecting the well-being of citizens."
Conclusion
"people who supports nose-making regulations" → Several mistakes:
o "supports" → "support" (subject-verb agreement)
o "nose-making" → "noise-making" (typo)
Correction: "people who support noise-making regulations."
"concerning about health" → "concerning" does not need "about."
Correction: "concerned about health."
"wanting an interesting and vibrant world" → Could be more formally stated.
Correction: "prioritizing an engaging and lively environment."
"but they should not be too harsh or hard to follow so as to maintain a high-spirited
world." → "so as to" is wordy.
Correction: "but they should not be too strict or difficult to follow in order to preserve a
lively atmosphere."
2. Suggested Improvements for a Higher IELTS Score
1. Use More Precise Vocabulary:
o Instead of "lots of positive effects" → "numerous benefits."
o Instead of "people's spirits are usually up" → "people experience heightened
morale."
2. Improve Sentence Variety:
o Instead of "many people make loud noise to express themselves" →
"Many individuals use loud noises as a form of self-expression, whether
through music, celebrations, or emotional release."
3. Avoid Redundancies:
o "In this essay, I am going to examine both sides of the arguments, then present my
personal opinion afterwards."
→ "This essay will examine both perspectives before presenting my
opinion."
4. Enhance Coherence and Cohesion:
o Instead of "On the other hand, having rules to limit noise-making can bring about
lots of positive effects."
→ "Conversely, implementing noise regulations can yield significant
benefits."
5. Strengthen the Thesis Statement:
o Instead of "From my point of view, clear limits should be introduced to protect
the well-being and life quality of people"
→ "I believe that well-balanced noise regulations are essential to
safeguarding public health while preserving a lively urban atmosphere."
