Intra &

Interpersonal
Competencies

Week 8:
Strengthening
Family
Relationships

TODAY’S RUNDOWN

1. What is family
2. The family life cycle
3. Family communication
patterns
4. Guidelines for effective
communication in families

1
 WHAT IS FAMILY

• Most people conceive a “family” as involving children,

marriage, blood or legal ties, heterosexuality, and a
shared household (Baxter, 2011).

Cohabitation

Single parents
BUT Childless
“FAMILY”
CAN BE Separated
VERY
Divorced
DIVERSE
Step-parents and step-children

2
 REFLECTION TIME

Think about your own family

• Do you think you come from a “conventional” family
or not?
• Has this affected you? How and why/why not?

Do you want to start a family for yourself in the future?

DEFINITION OF FAMILY

A relatively small domestic group of kin (related by

biology, marriage, or adoption) who function as a
cooperative unit (Hanna, Suggett, & Radtke, 2010)

3
 HONG KONG FAMILY STATISTICS

General trends:
• People are getting married at an older age
• More and more people are not getting married
• People are having less children; mothers are having
children at an older age
• More people are getting divorced; there are more
single-parent families
• There are more single mothers than single fathers

Equal Opportunities Commission (2021)

DETAILED STATISTICS
• Age of first marriage:
o 2022 – age 32.1 for men and 30.6 for women
o 2020 – age 31.9 for men and 30.4 for women
o 1991 – age 29.1 for men and 26.2 for women

• Marriage and Divorce Rate (per 1000 population)

o 2021 – 3.6 and 2.25
o 2016 – 6.8 and 2.34
o 2011 – 8.2 and 2.77
o 2006 – 7.3 and 2.54

• 2016 – 32.4% men and 28.0% women have never married

Census and Statistics Department (2023)

4
THINKING TIME
Why do you think these are the trends in Hong Kong?

The typical family life cycle

10

5
Stage 1 – Establishing a family:
Young couples without children

• Partners settle into marriage

or cohabitation, work out
expectations, interaction
patterns and daily routines for
shared life.
• Get accustomed to living
together.
• Get used to the social labels
and to the social and legal
recognition of the union.

Stage 2 – Enlarging a family:

Families with infants, preschoolers or both

• A child brings whole arrays of

joys, problems, challenges, and
constraints for the couple.
• New roles are introduced.
• Children decrease the amount
of couple time and change the
focus of a couples’
communication.
• A time of adjusting
expectations and new roles.

12

6
Stage 3 – Developing a family:
Families with children in primary school

• This stage establishes the

foundations of the children’s
self-esteem, values, and lives.
• Parent-child relationships exert
critical influences on children’s
identities and self-concepts.
• The gender of parents and of
children also affects parent-
child communication.

13

Stage 4 – Encouraging independence

• As children enter adolescence,

they tend to seek greater
autonomy. Some tension
between parents and children
are expected.
• Children are learning to be less
dependent on their families.

14

7
Stage 5 – Launching children into
the world
• Parents have to adjust to
being a couple again.
• Children are now young
adults: increased
independence and self-
discovery.
• “Boomerang children”: When
adult children move back to
live with their parents, family
roles have to be re-negotiated.

15

Stage 6 – Post-launching of children

• All children have left home,

and the couple is once again
the primary unit.
• “Empty nest”: Partners may
have to redefine their
marriage.

16

8
 Stage 7 – Retirement

• Full-time work is no longer a part of life: can be

either positive or negative for the couple.
• The family may grow again though the addition of
grandchildren.

17

Class Activity
• This family cycle is very western-centric. Can you
think of any similarities and differences to Chinese /
other cultures’ typical family cycles?

• Which stage is your own family currently at now?

18

9
 Family Communication Patterns
19

Family communications have

two components:

• Conversation orientation
How open and frequent communication
Family occurs
Communication ◦ High - “I can talk to my parents about
Patterns Theory anything”
(Koerner &
Fitzpatrick, 2002)
• Conformity orientation
How much are you expected to share the
same values, beliefs, and attitudes
◦ High – “I believe this because my family
believes this”

10
 Based on those components, there are four
different types of families:

Conformity Orientation
Low High

High Pluralistic Consensual

Conversation 多元化 協商同意
Orientation
Laissez-faire Protective
Low
自由放任 保護性

21

1. Laissez-faire families

◦ Limited interaction between parents and children

◦ Children are relatively independent of parents
◦ Members do not feel close bonds
◦ Low conversation, low conformity

11
2. Protective families

• Conflict is avoided
• Children are expected to adhere to parents’ values,
beliefs and decisions
• May undermine open and honest communication
between parents and children
• Low conversation, high conformity

3. Pluralistic families

• Family members are

encouraged to express their
thoughts and feelings, but
agreement among family
members is not required or
compelled

• High conversation, low

conformity

12
4. Consensual families

• Substantial depth and

breadth in communication
• Everyone has a say; children
are encouraged to express
their ideas and feelings.
• Parents expect and
encourage children to adhere
to the parents’ values and
beliefs.
• High conversation, high
conformity

Reflection
• Of the 4 family communication
patterns introduced, which one is
yours? Do you want to change it?
Why or why not?

(Worksheet)

13
 Guidelines for effective
communication in families
1. Maintain equity in family
relationships
2. Make daily choices that enhance
intimacy
3. Show respect and consideration
4. Don’t sweat the small stuff
不要為小事抓狂

Maintain equity in family

relationships
Most of us want relationships that are equitable or
fair in a general sense (Wood, 2011).
Equity theory: whether a relationship is
satisfying and enduring depends on whether
the people in it perceive the relationships as
relatively equitable over time.
Couple satisfaction seems especially affected by
equity in housework and childcare.
Women do the majority of child care and
household chores, even in dual-worker families:
a “second-shift” for mothers.
→ Agree on a standard of housekeeping
→ Share the responsibilities and benefits of
family life

14
 Make daily choices
that enhance
intimacy
These can be small actions:
o Choosing to eat dinner at home
o Not playing with your
phone/having earphones in when
eating
o Showing parents funny memes or
reels
o Sharing funny or interesting
experiences you had during the day

Can you think of any others?

Show respect and

consideration

• Members need to demonstrate

continuously that they value
and respect each other.
• Important to communicate
respect even when discussing
problems and complaints.
• Happy and unhappy couples
differ in how they resolve
problems.

30

15
Don’t sweat the
small stuff
Willing to overlook minor irritations
and frustrations inevitable when
living together.
願意忽視同居時不可避免的小煩
惱和挫折
Take responsibility for our
perceptions and our feelings and try
to minimize blame.
對我們的看法和感受負責，並盡
量減少責備。

Families are projects

that reflect the
choices made by the
members.

Families are created

or destroyed by these,
often small, choices

32

16
References
Baxter, L. (2011). Voicing relationships. Sage.
Census and Statistics Department, HKSAR. (2023). Hong Kong in Figures. 2023 Edition.
https://www.censtatd.gov.hk/en/data/stat_report/product/B1010006/att/B10100062023AN23B010
0.pdf
Equal Opportunities Commission, HKSAR (2021). Family Status Equality in Hong Kong.
https://www.eoc.org.hk/EOC/Upload/DiscriminationLaws/OtherResources/Family%20Status%20Equ
ality-Eng%20%28Aug%202021%29.pdf
Fincham, F.D., Bradbury, T.N., & Scott, C.K. (1990). Cognition in marriage. In E.D. Fincham & T.N. Bradbury
(Eds.), The psychology of marriage: Basic issues and applications (pp. 118-119). Guilford.
Galvin, K. (2006). Gender and family interaction: Dress rehearsal for an improvisation? In B. Dow & J.T.
Wood (Eds.), Handbook of gender and communication (p. 41-55). Sage.
Hanna, S. L., Suggett, R., & Radtke, D. (2010). Person to person: Positive relationships don’t just happen (5th
ed.). Prentice-Hall.
Koerner, A. & Fitzpatrick, M. (2002). Understanding family communication patterns and family
functioning: The roles of conversation orientation and conformity orientation. Med.
Mission Austria (26), 36–65. https://doi.org/10.1080/23808985.2002.11679010
Notarious, C.I. (1996). Marriage: Will I be happy or will I be sad? In N. Vanzetti & S.W. Duck (Eds.), A
lifetime of relationships (pp. 265-289). Brooks/ Cole.
Olson, D., & McCubbin, H. (1983). Families: What makes them work? Sage.
Totten, L.D. (2006). Who am I right now? Negotiating familial and professional roles. In J.T. Wood & S.W.
Duck (Eds.), Composing relationships: Communication in everyday life (pp. 186-193). Wadsworth.
Vogi-Bauer, S. (2009). When the world comes home. In T. Socha & G. Stamp (Eds.), Parents and children
communicating with society (pp. 285-304). Routledge.
Wood, J. T., & Duck, S. W. (2006). Introduction: Composing relationships: In J.T. Wood & S. W. Duck (Eds.),
Composing relationships: Communication in everyday life. Wadsworth.
Wood, J. T. (2011). Which ruler? What are we measuring? Thoughts on theorizing the division of domestic
labor. Journal of Family Communication, 11, 39-49.

17