Mil ball Skits 2023-2024 Alpha Co.

BC: TBD
BXO: Benitez
CSM: Alerta
S1: Snetting
S2: Gunter
S3: Mendoza
S4: McGarrah
S5: Skaggs
S6: Ellison
S7: Vaughn
S8: TBD
IG: TBD
CONFIDENTIAL - A COMPANY
PAO: Hoff
Props/Costumes Needed:
Stool
Buzzer
- Table Cloth?
Schwaab Fit (Black Sweats, Tan Shirt/ACU t-shirt)
Bradner Fit (TOTW Chain, dark glasses)
Microphone
Scooter for Brown’s leg
Crutches for Ben Phelps
Crayon (Isham)
Cowboy hat (Phelps)
S1 vs S2
S3 vs S4
S5 vs BXO
S7 vs S8
BC vs CSM
Things we can make fun of for each person:
BC: Spaces out a lot
BXO: on phone
CSM: megachurch pastor
S1: “What’s my job again?” death stare
S2: “Work is pretty tiring” *looks back at Colin Donnelly working
24/7 cleaning rifles, “KEEP SCRUBING”
S3: “SUIIIII”, “YOURE OFF THE TEAM”, his torn ACL, taking pics of
csm,
S4: His scooter when he was injured, raider brain,
S5: Always done with work, smart, carry team
S6: TOTW, youtube vids, HIS GUCCI - ASHOES
CONFIDENTIAL COMPANYWITH TAPE,

S7: Confused on new job panicking

S8: Sports (Buffalo Bills), Fortnite and vbucks, bad at job
IG: Mistaken for Colin Donnelly as IG, asking questions
PAO: Bad camera angles,
Martin: aggressive, with brown
C Donnelly: real S2
Schwaab: GF
MILBALL 2024 A COMPANY SKIT SCRIPT

CONFIDENTIAL - A COMPANY
EXT. GAMESHOW STAGE – NIGHT
The Skit opens with the staff on either side of the stage at
an angle. Down the middle BRADNER, holding a microphone,
introduces the game show and its contestants. On side one,
the Odd numbered staff, with the addition of the BC, and
side 2, the Even numbered staff (excluding the S6) plus the
CSM and BXO. PAO ALVAREZ runs around the stage taking
pictures frantically.
S6 BRADNER
What’s up everyone, it’s ya boy Jacob
Bradner, here, coming to you live with
tonight’s epic showdown of Newsome’s
Junior Reserve Officer Training Corps
Staff. Tonight, we have a buzzer here,
and we’re going to be asking these
cadets some JPA questions, you already
know its gonna get lit in here. So,
let’s call up our first contestants.
Cadets S1 VANLANDINGHAM CONFIDENTIAL
and S2 - ISHAM
A COMPANY walk to the center of
the stage. ISHAM is holding a rag and scrub-brush, chewing a
crayon, and VANLANDINGHAM stares down his competition.
S6 BRADNER
Alight guys, if you’d like to introduce
yourselves, and tell us what you do.
S2 ISHAM
I’m cadet captain Isham, I spend all day
cleaning the rifles, day and night, I
exhaust myself. It’s a hard job being
the Secur- DONNELLY I’M SUPPOSED TO HAVE
THOSE RIFLES CLEANED BY TOMORROW’S COMP
KEEP SCRUBBING!
S1 VANLANDINGHAM
(Still staring)
I’m cadet captain Vanlandingham.
S6 BRADBER
Anything else?
 S1 VANLANDINGHAM
(Slowly turns to BRADNER)
Anything else dawg?
S1 VANLANDINGHAM
No.
S6 BRADNER
(Facing Audience)
OK then, ladies and gentlemen cadet
Major Donnelly, the Inspector General,
will present tonight’s questions.
IG DONNELLY
Ladies, what are the Seven Army Values.
ISHAM hits the buzzer first, and removes the crayon in his
mouth like a cigarette.
S2CONFIDENTIAL
ISHAM - A COMPANY
Honor, Courage, and Commitment.
DONNELLY raises her hand to smack ISHAM.
IG DONNELLY
YOU GOOBER! THAT’S THE MARINE CORPS
VALUES!
S6 BRADNER
I’m sorry Isham but that’s wrong. Cadet
Vanlandingham, you have an opportunity
here to take the victory crown for this
round.
S1 VANLANDINGHAM
(Slowly)
Loyalty. Uh, duty. Uh, respect. Selfless
uh, service. Honor. Integrity. And
uhhhhh- Personal Courage.
 S6 BRADNER
That is correct! Team 1 gets the point!
Everyone give a round of applause for
team 1! Would the next 2 contestants
please come up. Thank you to cadets
Isham and Vanlandingham for playing
tonight’s first round!
VANLANDINGHAM stares at BRADNER for a moment, before walking
off, not breaking eye contact with him. S3 PHELPS, followed
by SCHWAAB, crutches his way to the buzzer, and S4 BROWN
scoots up to the buzzer. S4 BROWN, followed by MARTIN, has a
menacing smile as he sinisterly stares down PHELPS.
S3 PHELPS
(Awkwardly w/ hand pose)
Hi guys. Um, I’m Ben Phelps. I’m in
charge of running Battalion Events. Yup.
SCHWAAB
CONFIDENTIAL - A COMPANY
(Doing Schwaab hands)
Uh what’s up guys, I’m Schwaab, I help-
hang on I’m getting a call. `Sup baby,
oh I miss you.
SCHWAAB walks off to the side on the phone, talking to his
girlfriend.
S4 BROWN
(Waving at crowd)
I’m Brown, I’m in charge of
inventorying- Inv-ven-tory-ing- is that
a word? Everything in the Battalion.
Don’t ask me about it though, I just
drive my truck around and play frisbee.
MARTIN
I’m Martin, I’m the Headquarters XO, and
I do stuff.

S6 BRADNER
 What’s up you guys, this round is going
to be a little special right here. These
guys can’t walk, since they griddy’d too
hard, so we gave them a special game for
tonight. They’re going to race to the
buzzer-
S3 PHELPS
That’s not fair he’s on a scooter!
IG DONNELLY
(Mockingly)
Womp womp.
S6 BRADNER
After they hit the buzzer, their Battle
Buddy will have to answer. Donnelly, if
you would take it away.
IG DONNELLY
CONFIDENTIAL - A COMPANY
Ok girls, your question tonight is: What
is the purpose of JROTC?
BROWN scoots to the buzzer first, as PHELPS attempts to
crutch his way to the buzzer.
IG DONNELLY
Martin, what’s your answer.
MARTIN
I don’t freaking know.
BRADNER
Unfortunately, that’s not right.
Schwaab, you can answer this question
here and team 1 will be up by 2 points.
SCHWAAB
(On phone initially)
Hang on baby, CAN’T YOU SEE I’M ON THE
PHONE? You guys have no respect. Anyways
baby, you said the question was What is
 the purpose of JROTC? That’s easy, the
purpose of JROTC is to help cadets
graduate high school. Of course, baby, I
love you baby...
IG DONNELLY
Bradner, should we count that?
S6 BRADNER
It’s the closest answer we’re getting
here folks! And with that, a point goes
to- TEAM 1 AGAIN
BRADNER points at Team 1, and they erupt in cheer.
S3 PHELPS
SUUUUUUUUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII.
Team 1 erupts in cheer, as MARTIN lunges at SCHWAAB and puts
him in a chokehold.
MARTIN
CONFIDENTIAL - A COMPANY

THERE’S NO WAY THAT YOU GOT THAT.

MARTIN drags SCHWAAB out of the stage.
S6 BRADNER
Thank you for playing tonight, would our next
2 contestants please come up now.
S5 STEAD and BXO NEAL walk up to the buzzer, they greet each
other and turn towards their teams, STEAD waves awkwardly,
and NEAL is very energetic, and waves to all the crowd.
BXO NEAL
Hi I’m Cadet Major Neal, I’m the
Battalion XO, the Drill team Captain,
and Color Guard- wait hang on in getting
a call. Hey First Sergeant, how have you
been? How’s the family...

S5 STEAD
 Hiiii guys, I’m Hannah Stead, I plan
things out for the battalion. Hang on I
forgot I need to work on something this
will only take a minute.
STEAD brings out a laptop and begins to work on a PowerPoint
presentation.
S6 BRADNER
Alright ladies let’s move forward with
the next segment. This round will be a
little special, we’re going to be asking
questions rapid fire. We’re spittin’
bars up in here, and you’ll have 30
seconds to answer as many questions as
possible. Just blurt out the answer!
They would be completely unfazed, as they are too
preoccupied with what they are currently doing.
IG DONNELLY
CONFIDENTIAL
Ok, your question is - as
A COMPANY
follows: What is
this year’s Continuous Improvement Plan?
BXO NEAL
Drill Team Participation!
IG DONNELLY
Nope.
S5 STEAD
Battalion Participation.
IG DONNELLY
Yes, next question: Who is the Secretary
of Defense?

BXO NEAL
First Sergeant Castro!

S5 STEAD
 Honorable Lloyd Austin.
IG DONNELLY
Point to team 1! What is the rank of
three up and three down and a star?
BXO NEAL
First Sergeant!
IG DONNELLY
Wrong.
S5 STEAD
Cadet Star-geant Ma- I MEAN CADET
SERGEANT MAJOR.
IG DONNELLY
A point to team 1! And that concludes
our time. The standing score is now-
wait hang on.
CONFIDENTIAL - A COMPANY
Random cadet goes up to DONNELLY and whispers in her ear
IG DONNELLY
Our producers are telling us that the
score will no longer be updated
regularly, so Team 2 doesn’t feel bad.
Everyone looks up at the staff, stares at them, and boos;
BRADNER signals for them to quiet down.
S6 BRADNER
We don’t need a score to have a good
time! Would our next 2 contestants come
up to the stage!
S7 PULTORAK and S8 MUZZY make their way to the buzzer.
PULTORAK looks panicked and anxious, MUZZY griddys to the
stage very poorly.

S7 PULTORAK
 (Panicked and anxious)
Wait guys I don’t know what I’m doing! I
just got this job!
S6 BRADNER
Ok if you’d like to introduce
yourselves.
S7 PULTORAK
Hi, I’m Anna Pultorak, I’m the S7, and I
uhhhhh... I...
S8 MUZZY
Alright boys I’m Evan Muzzy, I handle
money, and we’re gonna get the victory
royale here, you already know what’s up.
SOMEONE from the crowd yells out.
SOMEONE
CONFIDENTIAL - A COMPANY
(From Crowd)
LIKE THE BILLS!?
S8 MUZZY
Ok buddy pipe down there now. {INSERT
RANT HERE}
IG DONNELLY
Ok ladies, your question is simple. You
will get one point for everything you
get right. One point for every...
Principal of Leadership you can name!
S7 PULTORAK
WAIT WHAT THAT’S NOT FAIR I DON’T THINK
I GOT TO THIS SHEET YET!
MUZZY buzzes in.
S8 MUZZY
Identify the problem; Gather
information; Develop courses of action;
Analyze and Compare courses of action;
 Make a Decision, select best course of
action; Make a plan; Implement a plan.
STILL GOT IT BABY!
IG DONNELLY
All seven points goes to Team 2!
S6 BRADNER
This is a close game everyone. But
before we want to move onto the last and
final round, to see who takes the
victory crown, let’s hear a word from
our sponsor. The BEST musician in all of
Florida, Take Over The World!
BRADNER turns around and does a 360, putting on
his glasses and TOTW chain, and begins to promote
his latest album.
S6 BRADNER
Yo what’s up guys its Take- A COMPANY
CONFIDENTIAL Over The World,
here to promote my latest album, DYRLM, out
now on SoundCloud. Here’s a little sample.
Voices – DYRLM by Take Over The World (Jacob Bradner) plays,
and fades out. BRADNER does a peace sign, does another turn
around, taking off the glasses and chain.
S6 BRADNER
Some pretty good music if you ask me.
Anyways, let’s move onto our final
round. Now would the representative from
Team 1 please come up.
BC SITZMANN
(While playing with hair)
Hi, I’m Jadyn Sitzmann, I’m responsible
for the success and failures of the
Battalion. One thing I have to say to
all my staff, and especially Team 1, is
that you all have done such an amazing
job, and I’m proud of everyone tonight.
 S6 BRADNER
Team 2?
CSM PINEDO walks up to the stage, holding a Bible, wearing
glasses, and having a preacher’s suit on.
CSM PINEDO
In the beginning was the Word, and the
Word was with God, and the Word was God.
S6 BRADNER
Truly inspiring words. Now, ladies and
gentlemen, the last and final question
of the night. For 5 points, and with it,
the game, Major Donnelly will have the
last question.
IG DONNELLY
What instrument do you use to determine
a grid azimuth on a map?
CONFIDENTIAL - A COMPANY
Both stand dumbfounded. SITZMANN suddenly
realizes, and buzzes in
BC SITZMANN
A PROTRACTOR WHAT IS A PROTRACTOR!
IG DONNELLY
That is correct, five points to team 1!
CSM PINEDO
What is all the wealth in the world, if
it is not for the Glory of God?
S6 BRADNER
Donnelly, would you like to announce the
final score?

IG DONNELLY
 The final score for tonight is Ten to
Seven, in favor of... drumroll please...
TEAM 1!
BRADNER reveals a suitcase that is labeled ‘Prize Money, and
opens it. It is revealed to be empty.
S6 BRADNER
Well it seems that there is some sort of
mistake here, give me a moment to find
where the money is...
S8 MUZZY
Wait is that what the money was for? I
haven’t done it yet I thought First
Sergeant Castro and Brown would do it.
IG DONNELLY
YOU WHAT?! MUZZY I SWEAR IM GONNA
Everyone chases after muzzy and drags him off stage, and
CONFIDENTIAL - A COMPANY
everyone boos.