UNDERSTANDING THE SELF - SPIRITUAL SELF

(a shortfilm script)

(There’s this girl (named) (pwede ra butngan name sa character if you want)
who is depressed, always have the feeling of being stressed, always anxious
because of several reasons such as failures, rejections and her families
discouragement. She appears happy and cheerful in front of everyone,
specially inside the class in front of her classmates, but every time she goes
home she always have this suicidal thoughts.) (One day after their class one
of her classmate approach her.)

CLASSMATE: (NAME) sama ka samin sa group study mamaya!

HER: (SMILES) haha sige lang, marami pa kasi akong gagawin, maybe
next time. (THEN SHE LEFT OUT OF THE ROOM)

(That night, she is alone in her room, crying. She takes out a cigarette and a
bottle of alcohol, trying to numb the pain.) (No one knows she entered doing
things like this, cigarette, drinking alcohol for her to find happiness and numb
the pain she’s feeling.) (She also lost her faith in God, to the point that she
don’t have respect in front of him.)

HER: (LOOKING AT THE MIRROR) bakit ganito? bakit ganito ang buhay
ko? (SHE LAUGHS BITTERLY) wala na talaga,(her name), wala nang pag
asa…(AND CRIES ALL NIGHT)

(FASTFORWARD: The next night, her father finds out what she is doing,
nalaman nang ama nya na pumasok sya sa pag bibsiyo)

FATHER: (ANGRY) ano ‘tong ginagawa mo (NAME)?! saan ka natuto

nito? Sa mga barkada mo? yan ba tinuturo sa inyu sa skwelahan? Hindi
kita pinalaki nang ganito! ano bang nangyayari sayo ha?

HER: (TYRING TO HOLD BACK HER TEARS AND ANGER) bakit, pa?
kung sasabihin ko ba maiintindihan nyo ba ako? do you wanna know
the reason why I am like this? diba hindi? you don’t have any idea
what’s going on in my mind, because you never asked!

(Akmang aalis na sya upang talikuran ang mga magulang nang biglang
magsalita ang kanayang mama.)

MOTHER: anak, hindi ito ang tamang paraan… (TRYING TO CARESS

HER)

HER: (A PIECE OF TEAR FALL DOWN) (SHE SHRUGGED HER HEAD) no

ma, hindi nyo ako naiintindihan, and maybe you two won’t understand
because you never tried.
(After saying that she runs out of the house, crying.) (Without even realizing
she’s now sitting by the beach, on the sand while still crying.) (After a minute
of sitting there, she notice that there is someone behind her, she looks up and
saw it’s her male friend (NAME) who are holding a guitar.) (The guy
approaches, still holding the guitar.)

FRIEND: can I sit?

HER: sige lang

(Umupo ang lalaki) (After a moment of silence the guy spoke.)

FRIEND: I saw you running that’s why I followed, bakit ka nga pala
tumatakbo? and why are you crying? what’s wrong?

HER: wala ‘to, huwag mo nalang pansinin

FRIEND: alam kong may mali, and if ever you’re thinking that you’re not
important you know it’s not true, huwag mong kalimutan yan.

HER: importante? kanino? no one ever cares for me, no one believes in
me, EVEN GOD…

FRIEND: huwag na huwag mong sasabihing wala siyang paki alam, kasi
kung wala for sure hindi kita mahahanap dito. come and think of it,
maybe he sent me here to talked to you because he cares for you.
(NAME) God's Love Never Fails, kahit anong mangyari, tandaan mong
mahal ka ng Diyos. It says that, walang makapaghihiwalay sa atin sa
pag-ibig ng Diyos kahit ang iyong sakit, takot, o pagkakamali. Kahit sa
pinakamadilim mong oras, nandiyan siya. Minsan, mahirap intindihin
kung bakit natin nararanasan ang pagsubok, pero sinasabi ng Diyos na
may magandang plano siya para sa iyo, plano ng pag-asa at hindi ng
kapahamakan. Ang mga pagsubok mo ngayon ay maaaring maging
testimony mo bukas. Kapag nararamdaman mong nawawalan ka ng pag-
asa, lumapit ka lang sa kanya.

(Her friend started strumming the guitar, and starts playing “Oceans by
Hillsong”) (As her friend sings, she started crying harder. She feels
something she haven't feel in a long time---which is peace.)

FRIEND: (AFTER THE SONG) ni record ko ‘to para kung malungkot ka

ulit, may maaalala kang dahilan para lumaban.

HER: salamat, (NAME SA FRIEND)…

(Her friend brings her to the church. She finds a new sense of belonging and
experiences, the youths also took care of her. She stays at the church for the
night.) (SUMPAYI NA NI GERARDO, MAG WALI KA HAAHAHA)

(FASTFORWARD: she went home but she noticed that no ones around. She
go inside the house, looking around and calling her mama and papa.)

HER: ma, pa? Nasaan kayo?

(No one answers her so went to her room, but she was shocked when all of a
sudden her papa showed up who’s hiding somewhere in the house without
her knowing. Looking angrily, her papa ask her.)

FATHER: saan ka galing? (ANGER/HIGH TONE)

HER: (CAUGHT OFF GUARD) pa… sa simbahan lang po ako galing,

hindi po ako nakauwi kagabi kasi doon na po nila ako pina tulog sa
simbahan…

FATHER: (SHOWS A PHOTO OF HER AND HER FRIEND AT THE BEACH

LAST NIGHT) sino ‘to?! diba sabi ko naman na sayo na huwag na huwag
ka munang pumasok sa relasyon relasyon na yan! na bawal ka munang
magka boyfriend?!

HER: (FEAR DEVELOPED IN HER SYSTEM, WITH TEARS UP) kaibigan

ko lang po sya pa, wala po kaming relasyon…

FATHER: hindi ko alam kung dapat pa ba kitang pagkatiwalaan!

pagkatapos nang lahat nang sakripisyong ginawa ko para sayo yan ang
isusukli mo? hindi ka pwedeng magkaroon nang boyfriend boyfriend na
yan kasi ikaw lang ina asahan namin! sana man lang i balik mo lahat
nang sakripisyo ko sayo. Nagiging walang kwentang anak ka na! Huwag
mo naman sana akong ipahiya!

(She opens the phone and then there she saw the photos and videos together
with her friends, they look happy and genuine together.) (She looks at her
papa and didn’t utter any word, she just cry and never did try to fight against
her papa.) (Her papa locked her in the room and throw the cellphone on the
floor.) (She just cried and the only thing that’s in her mind is to end her life to
commit suicide, feels like she’s out of her mind. But suddenly she remembers
something, she pick the phone that was thrown away in the floor and opened
it.) (She opened and view the videos and photos of them together, but all of a
sudden she just also throw it in her bed.) (She takes out the blade from
somewhere and attempted to cut her wrist.)

HER: (CRYING WHILE HOLDING THE BLADE) wala nang saysay itong
buhay ko, wala nang nagmamahal sakin…
(Just as she is about to cut her wrist the song “Oceans by Hillsong”
suddenly plays in her mind. She then hurriedly get the phone on top of her
bed and play the recorded song “Oceans by Hillsong”.)

HER: (SHOCEKD, BREAKS DOWN IN TEARS) lord, bakit?… bakit ako?

(Because of crying so much she falls asleep.)

(FASTFORWARD: The next morning she wakes up because of the noisiness

she hears outside.)

FATHER: (YELLING) ano pa bang dapat kong gawin sa anak mong yan?

MOTHER: (LOWER VOICE) please kumalma ka, hinaan mo boses baka

marinig ka nya o baka magising sya, hayaan mo munang matulog ang
anak mo.

(After a moment the house become silent, and then she remembers what
happened last night.)

HER: (CLOSE HER EYES AND SAID) lord, I am so sorry for all the sins,
mistakes I have done. I also wanna thank you kasi hindi mo ako
pinabayaan, thank you kasi despite everything I have done you’re still
there for me. maraming salamat panginoon. sana mabigyan mo pa ako
nang pagkakataon na bumawi sa lahat, lalo na sayo panginoon. hinding
hindi ako magsasawang magpasalamat sa lahat nang kabutihan mo sa
akin.

(She gets the phone and plays the song over and over again, she cries while
listening to the song not because of sadness or loneliness but because it
helps her relax and rest her mind at peace.) (After a moment, she hears a
knock on her rooms door, she opens it and then she saw the guy who
recorded the song, her friend.)

FRIEND: (WITH A SMALL SMILE ON HIS LPS, HE SAID) good morning!

andito ako kasi gusto ko lang sanang ipa alam sayo na may youth event
sa church, baka gusto mong sumama?

(She hesitates at first, but then she wipes her tears and smiles back to him.)

HER: sige (NAME SA FRIEND). sasama ako.

(She continue to serve God, for a month she stayed at the church to the point
that she no longer go home, together with the other youths.)

HER: (SMILING) lord, salamat sa lahat. hindi ko akalaing matatagpuan

ko ang tunay na kaligayahan sa iyong presnensya.

(Isang araw, nagpasya sya na umuwi at bumisita sa kanilang bahay,

pagpasok nya agad nyang hinarap ng kanyang ama.)
FATHER: (ANGRY) san ka galing? at bakit hind ka na umuuwi? ano na
lang ang iisipin nang mga tao sa atin? ha?

(Fear developed in her being, but she answer her papa’s question.)

HER: pa, nasa simbahan po ako. hinahanap ko lang ang kapayapaan.

Ama: kapayapaan?! kung totoong may kapayapaan ka, bakit hindi ka na

lang nanatili sa pamilya mo?!

(Nanahimik siya. Sa mga sumunod na araw, patuloy siyang pinipilit ng

kanyang ama at unti-unti siyang pinanghinaan ng loob. Muling lumayo ang
loob niya sa simbahan at bumalik sa kanyang bisyo.) (Isang gabi, inimbitahan
si Mara sa kaarawan ng kanyang kaibigan. Napagdesisyunan niyang
pumunta, iniisip na makakatulong ito upang makalimutan ang kanyang mga
problema.)

FRIEND2: (Nakangiti) girl! tara, tagay tayo!

HER: (Aatras) ah… sige, isa lang.

(Habang lumilipas ang oras, nalasing na siya. Pauwi na siya nang bigla
siyang maaksidente.)

(Ospital. Nagising siya, nanghihina at natatakot.)

HER: (looks around) nasaan ako? buhay pa ba ako?

(Bigla niyang napagtanto ang nangyari at nagsimulang umiyak.)

HER: panginoon… hindi pa ako handang mamatay… hindi ko alam kung

ligtas ba ako…

(Dumating ang kanyang ama, halatang gulat at nag-aalala. Hinawakan niya

nang mahigpit ang kamay niya.)

FATHER:(CRYING) anak… patawad… kung hindi lang kita pinilit… kung

hindi lang ako naging mahigpit sa’yo… baka hindi ka nandito ngayon.

HER: pa… hindi ito kasalanan mo. mga desisyon ko ito… pero pa, gusto
ko nang magbago.

FATHER: (NODDED) kung ‘yan ang gusto mo, anak, susuportahan kita.
simula ngayon, hindi na kita pipigilan. kung gusto mong bumalik sa
simbahan, sasamahan kita.

(FASTFORWARD: Bumalik siya sa simbahan, sa pagkakataong ito kasama

na ang kanyang pamilya. Magkasama silang nakikinig sa sermon.)
Pastor: God is not done with our lives. Even if we stumble, we can rise
and return to His presence.

(She smiled, alam niyang natagpuan na niyang muli ang tamang landas.
Nagpatuloy siya sa paglilingkod sa Panginoon, sa pagkakataong ito, kasama
ang kanyang pamilya.)

From a dark chapter in her life, she learned that true happiness is not
found in vices or temporary pleasures but in the presence of the Lord.
Her accident became a turning point, helping her realize the value of her
life and the importance of her faith. Though the journey was not easy,
with her family’s support and God’s guidance, she learned to fight and
rise again.

Her story is proof that no matter how far we stray from God, He always
has open arms to welcome us back. In the end, true change happens
when we surrender our lives to Him.

THANKYOU!

THE END!