Bullying: Types, Examples, and How to Deal with a Bully

Bullying is any unwanted or aggressive behavior from someone who is intentionally trying to upset, harm, or have power
over you.1 There are numerous types of bullying, including verbal, physical, social, and cyberbullying. Harassment can be
considered a form of bullying. But while harassment targets someone based on traits like race or gender and is often
illegal, bullying is typically about power and isn’t always protected by discrimination laws.

Bullies gain power by inciting a reaction out of others. To deal with a bully, stay calm and maintain control of your
emotions. Find a support system, and document the bullying as much as possible, for example, by taking screenshots of
cyberbullying, and photographs of any injuries.

Types of Bullying Behavior

In 2019, one out of five U.S. children ages 12 to 18 reported being bullied at school. There are many types of bullying. Six
of the most common types are discussed below along with examples of each.2

Verbal Bullying

Verbal bullying is the most common form of bullying.

While it may not cause physical harm, verbal bullying victims are at an increased risk of depression, anxiety, social and
academic difficulties, and more.3

Social Bullying

Social bullying is also called relational bullying, relational aggression, or emotional bullying. It involves threatening
someone's reputation or relationships.

Research shows that being bullied is linked to a negative view of others and situations, leading victims to perceive their
peers and experiences more pessimistically.4

This negative outlook can be particularly harmful to victims of social bullying, which often occurs in public settings and
may involve multiple bullies, thus reinforcing feelings of isolation and helplessness among victims.

Physical Bullying

Physical bullying includes bodily harm or damage to possessions. Any form of unprovoked aggressive physical contact
constitutes physical bullying.

Physical bullying is not to be confused with fighting, the former of which is unprovoked. Fighting, on the other hand,
occurs between two people who are equally engaged in a physical altercation.

Cyberbullying

Cyberbullying involves bullying or harassing someone online or through social media. This harassment can occur on a
computer, telephone, cell, or text messaging device.

In a 2018 survey, 59% of U.S. teens reported being cyberbullied.6

Racial or Religious Bullying

Negative stereotypes and discrimination in schools and communities make racial and ethnic minority youth, as well as
immigrants and refugees, more likely to be bullied because of their race, religion, or ethnicity. 7

Research shows that people who experience bullying due to their race, ethnicity, and/or religion are more likely to
experience other forms of bullying at school.7

Sexual Bullying

Sexual bullying includes any unwanted sexual physical contact, inappropriate comments, or online harassment.

Forms of bullying often overlap. Sexual cyberbullying is a common example and one that frequently occurs between ex-
romantic partners.

Signs of Bullying

Bullying occurs intentionally out of the sight of adults. When there are warning signs, they usually involve behavioral and
emotional changes.

Signs someone you know is being bullied include:10

 Trying to get out of going to school

 Suddenly doing poorly in school

 Coming home moody, sad, teary, depressed, or overly fatigued

 A loss of appetite or developing an eating disorder

 Appearing more stressed or anxious than usual

 Belongings that come home torn or damaged, or they are missing altogether

 Headaches, nausea, stomach aches, or other physical symptoms

 Nightmares, sleep disorders, insomnia, or trouble sleeping

What Causes Bullying?

One study indicates that bullies tend to be bullied by their own family, so they may observe and mimic aggressive or
angry behavior.11

Other reasons may include that they are:1213

 Lashing out for attention due to lack of attention at home or elsewhere

 Being bullied by their older siblings or adults in their lives (parent, teacher, coach, etc.)

 Elevating their own social status among their peers

 Trying to fit in with others who are bullying

 Insecure, feeling incompetent, or experiencing poor self-esteem

Bullies may feel emotional relief from their own insecurity by dominating others. They often blame others and don't
accept the consequences of their actions.

Bullying vs. Harassment

Bullying and harassment can look similar. Both involve behaviors that target individuals and can lead to emotional,
psychological, and physical harm. Both can happen in any setting and can involve similar actions, like name-calling,
intimidation, and humiliation.

However, there are a few key differences between bullying and harassment, particularly with regard to legal
protections. Harassment targets characteristics that are protected by discrimination laws, like race, gender, religion, and
disability.

In the workplace, harassment is unlawful when it creates a hostile environment or affects employment conditions, and it
is often legally actionable under laws like Title VII of the Civil Rights Act.14

Bullying, by contrast, can involve abusive or harmful behavior that may not specifically target legally protected
characteristics. While bullying can involve illegal actions, bullying behaviors often are not prohibited by law and lack the
same level of legal protection.

While bullying can occur at any age or in any setting, it most commonly occurs in schools. Harassment, on the other
hand, is more common in the workplace and is subject to more stringent regulations.

For example, sexual harassment in the workplace that interferes with the victimized employee's work or that creates an
intimidating environment is considered illegal harassment. Bullying might only be addressed if it crosses into harassment
territory or violates specific company policies.

How to Deal With a Bully

Bullies gain power and control by getting a reaction out of others. They get this reaction by aggravating, frightening,
angering, or threatening others.

Some ways to deal with a bully include:15

 Respond, don't react: You may feel upset on the inside, but if you can respond calmly instead of reacting
emotionally, you maintain control of your emotions. Getting a reaction out of other people is how bullies try to
gain power and control.

 Walk away: If safe to do so, walk away from the situation.

 Take a screenshot: If you are cyberbullied, take a screenshot as evidence.

 Find strength in numbers: Effective bullying intervention programs assign students to roles of peer supporters,
peer mediators, and peer educators.16

When You Are the Bully

If you think you may be a bully—or others have accused you of being a bully—consider these questions:

 Have you repeatedly called other people names?

 Have you used your size or tone of voice to intimidate or threaten others?

 Have you made fun of others or said mean things to people about their weight or appearance?

 Have you spread rumors, posted comments, or shared something negative about someone on social media?

If you are mistreating others, you may have been mistreated yourself. It may be helpful to talk to a school counselor,
trusted adult, or mental health professional.

The Effects of Bullying

Adults bullied as children are likely to have mental health conditions, including depression, anxiety disorder,
and antisocial personality disorder.3

Bullying affects bullies negatively as well. In one study, men who bullied and men who were bullied had increased risks
of suicide.11

Other effects in children and teenagers may include:

 Low self-esteem

 Loss of interest in social activities

 Thoughts of self-harm or suicide

 Development of eating disorders

 Nightmares

 Loss of interest in school

 Difficulty focusing on learning

 Poor school attendance

 Lower testing scores and lower grades

 Higher dropout rates

Summary

Bullying is any unwanted and aggressive behavior that is intentionally done to hurt another person. It often occurs
among children, adolescents, and teens, but it can happen to adults as well. Bullying creates a power imbalance, and it
usually occurs repeatedly.

Types of bullying include physical, verbal, social, cyber, racist, religious, and sexual. People who have been bullied may
experience effects like depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem.