“A Journey to Self-Growth Through Positive Psychology”
(Reflection Paper)
As an individual considered to be a social being, we tend to
communicate and converse with other people in our everyday life in order
for us to meet our social interaction needs. Moreover, for us to survive a
day we need someone whom we can share our thoughts, emotions, and
feelings with right? Because if not, we might lose ourselves due to lack of
social support that can definitely make our darkest hour much more
lighter. These are all the advantages of having a proper conversation with
other people face-to-face, back in the normal days, back in the days
where we are welcoming the morning shine without any barriers, back
when the world is free of a highly contagious virus, and most of all, back
when we were taking our freedom for granted. However, what about
now? We are currently facing the “new normal”, everything has changed.
Everything has turned into a blank sheet of paper where no one is able to
write something because he or she do not know where to start. It is not
easy to get in touch with other people like friends, relatives,
acquaintance, etc. because of the threat of the virus. Now, let’s say you
are feeling great, still enthusiastic, keep on thinking positive thoughts
that this too shall pass in no time but did you or did we ever think
about other people? Did we think about how those unfortunate people
coping in this pandemic? Maybe yes! You or we are fortunate enough to
still be sane and happy all thanks to the power of technological
advancement, but how about others? How about them who could not
afford to buy new gadgets and install an internet modem in their home?
What about them? Are their mental state still in good condition or not
anymore? Of course it has an impact right? Even if they don’t talk about
it, deep inside themselves they know that something is not quite right.
And this is exactly the purpose of this reflection paper. To give my
learning, understandings, insights, and reflection about the “Positive
Psychology” webinar that had been conducted back on March 06,2021,
Saturday 9:00-11:00 a.m.
Before I start my reflection paper and begin with giving my points, I
would love to extend my deepest gratitude to all of the people who made
this webinar possible. From the one who continuously thinking about
different ideas and topics to share with other students of BSPU, to the
PsychSoc faculty and students, and most of all to all the guest speakers
who always spare their precious time with all of us. Thank you so much
for all the efforts and time.
What makes you smile the most? Close your eyes, think of it,
imagine it, and feel it. See? It made you smile! Don’t deny it I saw it.
Don’t worry it is just between you and me. No need to be shy about it, we
all have something that is making us smile the widest and brightest.
Let’s start first with how Mr. Magsombol started the webinar. He just
let us think about 3 things, which are color, animal, and bodies of water. I
thought it was just a typical question to know about ourselves and such
but to my surprise to pertains to myself and the ideal someone I have in
my mind. The color pertains to my personality which I can consider true. I
wrote color “white” describing it with the words “pure, innocent, and
clear”. the next one is the animal which links to my perfect mate or ideal
partner. I wrote the animal “tiger” describing it with the words “fearless,
fierce, and brave” which is somehow true because I want someone that is
able to protect and secure me away from any form of danger. And lastly
the body of water which refer to our sexuality according to Sir
Magsombol. I wrote “lake” describing it with words “calm, relaxing, and
still” however unlike the other two, I don’t quite get what is the meaning
of this yet because maybe I am not in that stage yet. I appreciate this
kind of motivation before directing to the actual talk because with this
kind of approach, having a related motivation about the topic, may result
to students engagement and interaction right? So for this I totally
approve!
Now let’s move on, as a student we have the responsibility to study
the subjects that we take up. Having this kind of responsibility, comes
with a great passion and dedication to learn, to do that we must read tons
of textbooks in order for us to gain knowledge about a particular subject.
However, your role as a student does not stop from being just a “student”
right? Because we are human being so we tend to have a multiple roles.
It can be a brother, sister, son, daughter, etc. when we come home right?
Given this fact, after you went home your mother is sickly ill and you have
a major exam tomorrow. The choice is to take care of your mother or to
review your notes. Of course as a daughter or son, you choose to take
care your mother and review your notes after. The thing is you did not
finished reviewing your notes due to tiredness from school and taking
care of your mother. The day of examination had come, the 5 pages test
papers are handed by your professor, you browse the test paper and
figured out that half of the included questions are from the last part of
your notes which you did not finished reading. The next thing that might
happen is you might feel nervous and unfortunately this will lead to the
concept observed by Dr. Martin Seligman which he called “learned
hopelessness”. wherein when someone face a struggle where he or she
knows and admit that he or she lacked on that particular area or part, he
or she will not even try to look on the brighter and positive side of it. So
that person will immediately think that he or she will failed the major
exam. However, you browse the test paper right? And as browsed you
found out out that it is 50-50 right? So their is still a chance that you will
pass the exam! You just need to believe in yourself and think that
everything will be alright and this exam’s score will not ever define you
when you enter the real world. By this, Dr. Seligman, father of positive
psychology, think of the concept that instead of focusing on negative
things why don’t we focus and pay our attention on positive things
surrounding us. And with this idea of Dr. Seligman gave birth to the
concept of “Learned Optimism” focusing only on healthy positivity. Don’t
just confine yourself with your “what if’s” because as it’s name imply it’s
only an “if clause” you are not certain yet and what you can do best as of
the moment is to do your best in answering what you know instead of
what you don’t know. Focus on your strengths and not on your
weaknesses. Don’t focus on what you think you can do to repair the worst
scenario that had happened in your life but instead focus on what
goodness happened to you during those worst time.
Next is the part that caught my attention the most and it is the 5
Pillars of Happiness. Let me just ask you a question, why does it named
PILLARS OF HAPPINESS? When we say a pillars it refers to those
vertical structures of metals, woods, stone to support a building right? It
is the foundation of a building. This goes the same with happiness of
humans, we need these 5 pillars in order for us to support our genuine
happiness. To tell the truth, back when I am still on elementary to 8 th
grade of my SHS, I thought happiness is just about laughing, smiling, and
giggling or something like that because whenever I see people laugh or
smile I can sense that they are happy but then as I’ve observed more
people during my 9th grade, I can say that people with the brightest and
widest smile have been through a lot of pain and in order for me or us to
confirm whether they are genuinely happy or not, we need to look
straight into their eyes because it will lead us to one’s heart and soul. As I
understood the 5 Pillars of Happiness discussed by Mr. Magsombol, I
can definitely say that it is some sort of process and cycle. Why? Because
when one have this Positive Emotions through enjoyable activities it
will lead him or her to Engage in that particular activity or action, to
invest his or her time doing it and lost track of time because you’re
already in to it. This involved the feeling of excitement, love, and passion.
Then once we are fully engage with a particular action or activity then
that’s the time when we are able to meet other people outside our circle.
We are social creatures born and alive to interact with other people, as
Mr. Magsombol said “We need support and to share experience with
other people.” which is correct and relatable because as we all know no
man is an island, we always need someone to be with us in every
circumstances of our lives. Then we have Meaning and
Accomplishment which are both the result of the three previous pillars.
I have learned that these Pillars help us build our relationship with other
people, foster our development, and the most important thing is how it
guide us to build our positive emotions that will all lead and bring us
closer in achieving our genuine happiness in life.
Next, we have Emily Dickinson’s quotation “The mere sense of living
is JOY enough.” This is an explicit quotation of the soul purpose of living
is joy nothing more, nothing less. And to achieve that kind of life which is
full of happiness we must focus on positive emotions. Focusing one’s
attention towards positivity can never be wrong but we must take note
that this does not involve having a toxic positivity okay? Next, apply flow,
in order for our whole system to gain the positivity, it needs to flow and it
cannot flow without the person’s help in that case we need to apply the
flow ourselves by thinking that “WE CAN DO IT! FIGHTING!” Then, after
applying all the positivities in our system and we begin to act in
accordance for our betterment as a person then it is the time for the
result. If your actions are towards the goodness, betterment, and growth
of your own self then it will lead you towards a pleasant life, good life,
and meaningful life that you can never imagine you will have.
We must remember that being always in the positive side is not a bad
thing to do, however, when one begins to have a toxic positivity then then
that’s the time where different conflicts may occur. Because you are
blinded by the belief that no matter what happened, you still need to be
happy. Toxic positivity is an attitude that demands happiness no matter
what. We must learn why this mindset can be so harmful and what you
can do instead. If you are in so much pain that you can’t handle anymore,
then cry and pour all your emotions and feelings. It never been wrong to
cry and grief, what is wrong is when you trying so hard to be happy even
if your are really not. It may have an effect in your mental state if one will
always include toxic positivity inside his or her system. Yes as Emily
Dickinson said that joy is the sense of living but there are also different
emotions inside of you that no one can ever change. And does she said
that it is a requirement for everyone to be happy everytime? No. Because
we can still be happy after our darkest hour and that’s what we call the
genuine happiness where there’s nothing bothering your mind anymore.
We should grow despite of all the setbacks that might encounter
along our way towards our journey. Moreover, if positive psychology will
ever teaches us anything, it will be that all of us are mixture of both
strength and weaknesses. No one is perfect, no one has it all, and no one
lacks it all either. :)
I have started this reflection paper with a smile so let me also end it
with a smile :) if a in the start I ask you to think of what makes you smile.
Now, let me ask you to thank yourself for everything that you have done
that brought you to where you are right now. Don’t ask yourself “what is
wrong with you everytime because there’s nothing wrong with you! You
are a gift and there’s always a reason for you to smile every single time.
You need to appreciate and love yourself more than anything. :)
BEGIN SAYING:
“THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME, BUT THERE’S A LOT
WRONG WITH THE WORLD I LIVE IN!”
