Conflict Management Styles
How you naturally tend to resolve conflict and what strategies you use depends on your conflict
style. By understanding the different styles and recognizing your tendency, you will be able to
see the benefits and downfalls of each approach.
This course is designed to help you move towards using a collaborative approach to conflict
management, which is where solutions can be found. See the attached Conflict Management
Style Assessment to identify your preferred/natural style, as well as what areas you may want to
focus on improving.
Avoiding or Withdrawing:
Many people choose this approach because it easier to pretend that something did not happened
then having to deal with it. In addition, the fear and anxiety of not dealing with it may be less
than the one dealing with it. It’s easy to think, “maybe if I do not address it or bring it up, it will
go away.” Unfortunately, what usually happens is that the anxiety, resentment, and tension
continue to grow beneath the surface until it eventually comes out in some other destructive way.
It is like an illness that, when left untreated, just gets worst.
There are times when avoiding the conflict IS appropriate:
When the issue is truly trivial and can be let go
When more important issues are pressing (you can come back to it later)
When it’s not a good time or place to confront the issue or you need time to think and
collect information
When someone else is better able to handle the situation
Accommodating:
Accommodation is giving in to another person point of view or suggestion without any room for
collaboration or expressing your desire. This can lead to a quick resolution but can lead to anger
and resentment long term. The purpose of this style is to preserve the relationship, but long term
it only ends up deteriorating it.
There are times when accommodating IS appropriate:
When it is important to buy time until you are in a better position to respond
When you accept that you are wrong
When you have no choice or when continued competition would be detrimental
Competing:
This is also known as standing your ground or forcing. This is where your needs are pushed over
the needs of others. In other words, you are competing with others to get your point across and
win. This can work in your favor in the short term, but long term it has destructive consequences,
as the other person will feel resentment and anger. For the most part, people who use this method
tend to be aggressive in their communication, which shows they place little value on the future of
the relationship, since they are only focused on control.
There are times when competing or forcing IS appropriate:
In certain situations when all other, less forceful methods, don’t work or are ineffective
When you need to stand up for your own rights
When a quick resolution is required and using force is justified (such as an emergency or
situation or to stop an aggression)
As a last resort to resolve a long-lasting conflict
Compromising:
This is type of conflict style takes courage and consideration of the other person’s needs. This is
where people are willing and able to give and take in order to come to an agreement that will
meet the needs of all those involved. The down-side to compromising is that each party may still
not fully understand the needs of the other person because their true goal is meet their own
needs. They may come to an agreement, but because the deeper issues were not resolved, a lack
of trust can still linger even after coming to an agreement.
Compromising IS appropriate:
When the goals are of low or moderate importance
To reach temporary or quick agreement on complex issues
When collaboration or forcing do not work
Collaborating:
This is the most challenging, but most effective, method, in which both parties are willing and
open to truly considering each other’s point of view in search of a win-win scenario. To achieve
this, both parties need to communicate affectively, develop an understanding of each other, and
discuss goals and ways to move forward. Collaboration comes down to using creative solutions
to resolve conflicts or problems without having to make concessions. This is accomplished by
establishing a common goal.
Collaboration is the best method for:
Encouraging consensus and commitment from all parties
Solving the actual problem
Reinforcing mutual trust and respect
Sharing responsibility for the outcome
