~Mark Twain

2 January
December2011
2010
- Culturedeluxe
– The 2010 Issue
in 3D
 January 2011 – In 3D

Editors
Mathew Parri Thomas (parri@culturedeluxe.com)
Adam Gibby (adam@culturedeluxe.com)

Editor - Film
John Rain (john@culturedeluxe.com)

Games \ Magazine Editor

Nick Foster (nick@culturedeluxe.com)

Publisher
Richie Brown (richie@culturedeluxe.com)

Cover Design \ Magazine Illustrations

James Green

Contributing writers
Kevin Burgess, Chantelle Pattemore, Ross Park, Tim Pelan, Keith
Howarth, Eve Massacre, Pete Hughes, Ingrid Francis, Olivia Isaac-Henry,
Phil Russell, Alex Capitani, Dave Reynolds, Dean Coster, Matt Keeler,
Ross Park, Ryan Reed, Ruban Byrne, Ted Woodward, Eddie Arthurs,
Richard Allen, Adam Taylor, John McCreddie, Daniel McKay, Paul Sharf,
Richard Smailes

Copyright Culturedeluxe 2011

www.cuturedeluxe.com

Culturedeluxe is published on 100% virtual paper. No trees were harmed.

Culturedeluxe
in 3d
Since Avatar led the new 3D revolution (in all it’s
smurf like glory), the world has gone mad for that
extra dimension.
In Decembers edition of Culturedeluxe, Tim Pelan argued that, for film, 3D is more of
a Emperors new clothes senario than the saviour of the celluloid world that some would
have us believe.

However as more 3D films, games and even games consoles (hello Nintendo 3DS) are
going to grace the shelves in 2011, here at CDX we have bowed to almost no public
demand and decided to publish out our first edition of the new year in glorious 3D (in a
‘Friday the 13th 3D’ cheapo sort of way).

So grab the pair of ‘blue\red’ carboard 3D glasses (not the new cinema ones .. they
wont work ) that Channel 4 gave away in one of their 3D movie seasons (take a look in
the ‘man draw’ I’m sure you’ll find a pair there).
Or failing that glue blue and red Quality Street wrappers to your eyes and enjoy the
special effect extravaganza that is CULTUREDELUXE ...IN 3D.

(I find the 3D works better if the blue lens covers

the left eye and the red the right, so you may have to reverse your glasses)
Words: Nick Foster

4 January
December2011
2010
- Culturedeluxe
– The 2010 Issue
in 3D
5
6 December 2010 – The 2010 Issue
7
8 December 2010 – The 2010 Issue
9
Interview
RINGO DEATHSTAR
Some bands never learn. Having braved the British wint
Austin’s Ringo Deathstarr arrive in frozen Aberdeen and
removed their hats and scarves since. Richard Brown as

Frontman Elliott Frazier is wearing a woollen hat that heard a demo from their debut UK EP (released
only just covers a voluminous mop of curly hair and through
there is an audible shiver in his voice. SVC Records) and its remarkably similarity to a
‘It only took four hours [to get here] I guess, some certain Jesus and Mary Chain. The band begin to
bridges were shut down. I was expecting it to be, like, giggle.
eight, the way it started yesterday. It’s the second time ‘We get that all the time, but it’s a compliment.’ smiles
we’ve been over to the UK. The same time of year as Alex.
well.’ He adds with a theatrical shiver, ‘We’d much ‘At that time it was just a bunch of people playing
rather come in Summer, it’s just too darn cold all the really quiet music so we thought “fuck all this”.’
time. The tour’s going pretty well though, no-one’s agrees Elliott. ‘When I first started I wanted to make
died.’ music like The Ramones.’
Bassist Alex pipes up, ‘It snowed last year [in Texas] for
a day, but it doesn’t really stick to the ground.’ The band join an increasing line-up of young
‘We just get it over and done with in a day.’ agrees American bands who seem largely influenced by
drummer Daniel. the sound of Britain a quarter of a century ago.
‘Oh, the van got stuck. We tried to dig the snow away The Pains of Being Pure at Heart are already
using our shoes and anything we could find.’ says Alex. working towards their second full LP (Ringo
‘Yeah, in the parking lot of where we were staying last Deathstarr release their debut through Club AC-30
night.’ confirms Elliott. ‘We spent an hour trying to get next February) while one of their offshoots, The
it out and gave up. It was in Leith. We played Glasgow Depreciation Guild, released a split single with Ringo
a few days ago and the first band to play were from Fife Deathstarr last year.
and they cancelled and we thought ‘oh this is going to ‘We’re like their insane, drug-addicted uncle I guess.’
suck’ but there was actually a good turn out.’ deadpans Elliott. Alex leaps in, laughing defensively.
‘We played with Ursula Minor and they were really ‘No! We’re incredibly chilled, none of us have tattoos
good.’ says Alex. or really ever do drugs. The most we ever do is drink
the free beer!’
‘We like Scotland,’ agrees Elliott. ‘It’s one of the best
places in the UK. But, we just want to come back With a sound that channels the ghosts of several
when it’s warm.’ British acts, it’s not surprising the band are gaining
exposure over here. But the question remains how
The Texan three-piece have been supporting British they are being received in their homeland and further
indie veterans The Wedding Present for a number of afield.
shows on their latest tour, having played three shows ‘We’ve been on East Coast tours mostly and went out
with them in their homeland. ‘They must have liked to LA with The Wedding Present,’ explains Elliott.
us enough to ask us to tour again.’ says Elliott. ‘Do ‘But just now we’re getting some press in the US other
we have a UK-influenced sound? How can you not? than just the small music magazines which we’ve had
Being a normal person...’ in the past. We just had a feature in Nylon which is
At this point I relate a story about the first time I a big fashion magazine and we just got a record label

10 December 2010 – The 2010 Issue

ter in 2009,
d they haven’t
sks why?

over there so when the album comes out we’ll get more
exposure.’ He pauses. ‘It’ll be in Japan too, we’ll do a sounded awesome”. But we have a problem now...
world tour.’ there’s one song and I can’t remember how to play
‘We’ve been to Japan before, it was amazing.’ says it at all. When we get home it’s on my to-do list to
Alex. ‘It’s a completely different world, it’s crazy. figure out how to play it. We lost a member so we
They’re so into everything! It’s awesome to be around use backing tracks now on some songs. Instead of
kids who tell you you’re super at everything you’re gaining a new guitar player I taught Alex to play the
doing. They’re so enthusiastic about music over there, guitar in about a day. She already plays the banjo, if
every kid in the place will be dancing.’ you can play bass and banjo you can play guitar.’
Elliott agrees, ‘If they like a type of music they go to Alex smiles, ‘I do double duty. It’s kinda cool though, I
the extreme and try to live a lifestyle based around like switching instruments.’
it. They know everything; every minute detail of ‘All three of us can play enough stuff,’ continues
shoegaze. Then they ask us and we say “well, yeah Elliott. ‘Daniel can play anything, so even if we had
we don’t really know”. They say “how could you to have a pure drum machine going and all three of us
not?”’ on guitars then we could do that.’

It’s a nation which thrives upon kitsch statements and Well, it worked for Echo and the Bunnymen.
it’s clearly one the band are suited to, what with some
of their format choices for potential future singles. Ringo Deathstarr release their new single ‘So High’
Elliott: ‘We’ll probably do a limited cassette single of in January 2011 with their debut album ‘Colour Trip’
‘Imagine Hearts’ with a bunch of weird experimental following in February.Interviewed at Aberdeen’s
tracks on it. Will it be on iTunes too? No, we’ll Tunnels venue on 1st December 2010 with co-
have to give it away for free as there are some songs interviewer Andy Jarvis.
with samples, it wouldn’t really be legal if we sold it
somewhere. If you donate five pounds you’ll get it for
free basically. Actually, they were making cassette
walkmans until last month.’
‘A lot of it comes out when we’re in the studio,’ says
Alex. ‘Someone will offer up an idea and then all of us
will say “what if we did this? and this? and this?” and
it envolves into an entire song.’
‘There aren’t really any rules about it.’ says Elliott.
‘If someome has something that makes another
person in the band think “oh, that’s cool...” I’ve
written some songs around samples, but then we try
to make our own versions of the samples. We’ll take
out drumbeats and then make our own - something
similar. We make sure that the original sample isn’t
Interview
caitlin rose
in there.’ A broad grin breaks out on his
face. ‘But Caitlin Rose released her debut
album ‘Own Side Now’ in the late summer
to much excitement, achieving Albums
of the Week in The Sunday Times, The
Independent, Independent on Sunday and
The Evening Standard, as well as top
marks in everywhere from the NME to The
Sun and Uncut, as well as making our own
Albums of 2010 list. Her songs are written
in the country tradition but it is her heart
rending honesty, lyrical prowess and her
dextrous delivery of said lyrics that sets her
apart from her peers. Here Ross Park talks
to her about her lyrics, writing process and
the Nashville stigma.

You’ve had compliments for your engaging

lyrics. Are you naturally thoughtful with
your words?

Well I don’t write on guitar. I just write

and it eventually turns into songs. I’m
kinda unorganised.

Do you have lyrics that aren’t songs yet?

I’ve got thousands. It’s really stupid. That’s

why the songs I write have got very definite
themes. If they don’t have a theme I can’t
concentrate on it. I can’t write abstractly
at this point. I’ve tried it a little bit but it’s
harder for me. If it has a theme I can take
it apart and finish it but if it doesn’t have a
theme I can’t. I’ll do a verse and then leave
it on my desktop.

Do you try to combine sets of lyrics you’ve

half written?

I’ve done that before but that’s what makes

me a bad writer as I’m not very diligent
about it. If I could I’d most definitely work
harder at that but it’s more I’ll be sitting
singing one part of a song and then think
of another part of a song (I’ve written) and
realise they go together.

Is it strange to be asked about your

writing?

12 December 2010 – The 2010 Issue

It’s weird to talk about cos I don’t do it as much as I that if I had the time to re-record them I still wouldn’t
should. I don’t quite know my writing process yet. touch them.
(Self mocking) My writing process!
The album’s being very highly regarded and there’s
Do you have a process? Are you one of those people great love for Americana here. Are you surprised at
that carry round a notepad all the time just in case how well country is taken in UK and Europe?
something comes to you?
I don’t think the record is very country. It wouldn’t be
I should do as I’ll have lyrics and I don’t write them classed as country in America. After Dead Flowers it
down. But I get shy about it. That’s what I don’t like kind of set a bit of a niche. It was like “there’s a Patsy
about being on the road, as I don’t have the time to Cline song, therefore……” I had some guy in Europe
try. I’ve had a few things and when I get a moment say “so you’re the Patsy Cline of our generation” and
to myself it all comes out and I have a lot but then I I’m just trying to eat my breakfast!
don’t have the time to organise it or keep it. It’s all just
words. A ton of words. It’s very stressful actually. I think that’s the sad
thing is you can’t do something new, you’re regarded
One of my favourite things to do before I write is to on the coattails of Loretta Lynne and I love Loretta
listen to Joanna Newsom or read some poetry. That’s lynne and Patsy Cline and Merle Haggard but I don’t
really the only way I like writing; to trap words that exactly do what they did.
sound good together. I’m not a melody person really.
Sometimes they happen and sometimes they don’t. Is that part of the baggage of being from Nashville?
That’s why poetry helps me as sometimes you just get
in a roll of words. Yeah probably, which is fine, I love Nashville, I love
country music. It’s just the frustration of having to
That’s why I think there’s quite a literate quality to talk about it when someone asks ‘so how Loretta
your lyrics as it’s clear you’re not looking for the easy Lynne figures into your life’, well I’ve listened to her
rhyme or to fit a line in. there’s something you want since I was 15 but….. I don’t know how to answer
to say. things like that.

That’s the hard thing. Cutting out what you don’t Is it worse in Europe because we don’t have these
need. I feel you need to write for the song and not for country references? I could name half a dozen and you
yourself and sometimes you get to much in your head could name hundreds.
and you just want to write your feelings. But I don’t
want to do that. I want to write my feelings but I want Exactly! I want to talk about The Replacements! I’ve
it be quite literate. talked about Loretta Lynne so much I could probably
write her a new biography but I like a lot of stuff.
Your lyrics draw people in in a way that not everyone
does, often songwriters are very ‘woe is me’. I think country music is a good vessel. I think if
you’re starting to write songs and you can say I can
That’s the way people write now; for themselves. I’ve write a song with 3 chords in it and I can express
written maybe four songs with the hope that someone my feelings and try to write something clever then
I know will play them. Not like on music row but I like country music is the easiest vessel as it’s all about
people that write songs cos they want to write a good simplicity. I’m not a very astute musician but writing
song not because they want to express themselves. country songs is something I picked up very quick but
Which is great, but I expressed myself all through my it’s not something I’m trying to do. I’m not trying to
teen years and I got it all out so now I can just try to be a throwback artist. I don’t think anyone should.
write good songs. I feel like the beauty of music is to
collaborate or just to appreciate someone elses work. Words: Ross Park

Are you precious about your lyrics? You have

collaborated on this album….

Yeah I’m kinda crazy about it. That’s why it takes

me so long to finish anything. I analyse everything
I do far too much. The idea of writing a shitty song
stresses me out. I think if you’re proud of something
you don’t want to change it and I’ve got maybe two
or three songs that I’m proud of. Only two or three
ones to watch
cascades
Well for me this is definitely the best project that I’ve
ever worked on and I’m sure the others feel the same.
The way everything just clicked straight away was
awesome and we all share the same goals, which is
great!

How does the dynamic of the group work? Are some

members more proactive than others?

We all share responsibility for this band, whether its

writing tracks, recording, booking gigs, everyone feels
that they need to put the time in.

In these days of identikit bands, it’s good to find Do you make the kind of music that you would listen
artists that aren’t afraid to mix up their influences a to? Are there any main themes that run throughout
bit. Cascades are a five piece Metal / Alternative Rock your songs?
band from Hertfordshire, that also have a slight pop/
reggae feel to their sound thanks to vocalist Rashid Yeah definitely, although it’s a lot of genres mixed
Alami, who adds his unique vocal style to change the together we still feel very strongly about it, as for
bands rock dynamic in a subtle but very effective way. themes, it’s the usual, being left alone, losing someone
They have just finished recording their debut E.P. you love, emotions, trying to change for someone you
which will be released in the early part of this year. love, caring etc.

CDX scribe Richard Smailes caught up with bass So are you in it for the music, women, drugs, money,
player Thomas ‘Tank’ Hughes for a quick Q & A. all of the above?

Hi Thom, can you give us a bit of background on For me personally I’m in it for the music and to where
Cascades? How did you all meet? it may lead in future, hopefully touring, meeting new
people, the friendship I share with the band and just
Well I met rash at work, I accidently heard him the general experience. This is something I’ve always
singing one day and was like wow! the rest of the guys wanted to do this and it would be a dream come true
we were in a metal band before for like 2 years. I met to make a career of it.
Ali through a friend and Ali knew Jordan, I met Miles
on a double date, funnily enough. Where do you see Cacades in a year’s time?

What are your main musical influences and how do Well in the next year we hope to have a reasonable
they impact on Cascade’s sound? following and play a lot of shows. We will also have an
album out very soon. I have a real good feeling about
I think our collective influences really impact Cascades this and with the right attention we will definitely
sound, because we all have such different tastes we break through!
kind of blend them all into cascades sound. I’m into
mainly punk and pop punk, Ali (guitars/vocals) is Words: Richard Smailes
more into to metal as is Jordan (guitars/vocals), Rashs
reggae and pop influence really spices up the vocals
and Miles (drums)is also into a lot of metal and rock.
Because we all have such a big part in writing you can
really see this come out when we sit down and start
writing.
How does the band’s sound compare to previous
projects you have worked on?

14 January
December2011
2010
- Culturedeluxe
– The 2010 Issue
in 3D
Captain Beefheart
1941 - 2010
Don Van Vliet, aka Captain Beefheart,
died yesterday (17th December 2010) from
complications due to multiple sclerosis. He was 69.

Although Captain Beefheat and the Magic

band never sold that many records, Van Vliets
recording career lasted from the 1960s until 1982.
The singer's low growl grounded the band’s
sound in the blues tradition, but the lyrics were
wild and surreal and the music seemed to be from
a completely different planet, far beyond even the
most acid-fried psychedelic band could manage.

Beefheart's most celebrated album, Trout Mask

Replica (1969) offered a strange world in which
rock music appeared to have spun entirely off its
axis, however, it’s their debut ‘Safe as Milk’ that
remains my personal favorite. With stand tracks
‘Zig Zag Wanderer’, ‘Electricity’, ‘I’m Glad’ and
oddball signature ‘Abba Zabba’ (a song that
hinted at which direction the band were heading
toward) it’s a perfect introduction to the more
avent guarde LP’s that followed.

Ardent fans included John Peel and Simpson’s

creator Matt Groening and Beefheart's influence
spanned many decades with the likes of Johnny
Rotten, Tom Waits, The Pixies, Red Hot Chili
Peppers and more recently The Coral paying
tribute to the man and his music.

No one has ever really sounded like the Captain

Beefheart and the Magic Band and it’s my guess
that no one ever will.

Words: Nick Foster

15
Album reviews
sounds and heavy percussion
while ‘Smith & Carlos’ has a much
more organic, instrumental feel
It’s when we get to the fifth song
‘Asylum’ that ‘Yeah OK’ really gets
interesting. With its skewed funk,
could be the theme for an bass line and reliance on cowbells and
eighties kids’ TV show with other, live, percussion instruments,
the track ‘Zooper Dooper’ ‘Asylum’ is reminiscent of the sort
as the interval music. of songs that 80’s alternative, dance
‘Do You Like Games’ pioneers A Certain Ratio or 23
has folksy vibe with Skidoo would, masterfully, churn out
playground lyrics and and you can’t help but wish that Not
tells of adult repetition of
childish intrigue. ‘Map’
Not Squares - Yeah OK Squares followed this distinct pattern
and dropped the more electronic
returns to the sixties with Words: Nick Foster approach which dominates most of
spaced out synthesizers this debut. In fact it’s not until the
and distant vocals, while I don’t know if kicking off their debut penultimate track ‘Bi Kan Na’ that the style is
‘Car’ is an amusing tale with the big beat anthem ‘Release The revisited, this time with more pace and fluidity.
of neighbourly disputes Bee’s, which ploughs an all too familiar It is no surprise that these are the stand out
Jim Noir - Zooper Dooper where the narrator’s car is squelchy, acidic path in a very linear tracks on the LP.
Words: Adam Daly damaged in revenge for his fashion, is a deliberate ploy by this The album closes, neatly, with ’10.53’, a tune
playing of loud music, all Belfast trio to entice the casual listener that could have easily been penned by Mark E
There’s something very filmic to this sung with a ‘who sir me sir’ innocence. before delivering their more inventive and Smith and performed by the Fall at their peak.
six track mini album by Manchester’s There’s also something very childlike imaginative songs. So although it doesn’t always hit the mark
Jim Noir. The songs on Zooper Dooper about the album. Even its title recalls Second track ‘De Na Na’ uses a and there are more ‘skippable’ songs than maybe
evoke visual images of the recent past. childish slang, albeit from a different vintage synth introduction, similar in there should be, as a debut ‘Yeah OK’ pushes
‘Kitty Cat’ eases you into the EP with era, which contributes to its calming fashion to Daft Punk or Air, which enough of the right buttons to ensure that any
its psychedelic feel, all laid-back guitars and comforting atmosphere. There’s is soon dissected and glitched up. follow up should be greeted with a great deal of
contrasting with buzzy, synth melody nothing edgy about Zooper Dooper Admittedly this makes the sum of its interest.
and bouncy electronic beats, it feels like and its swish and soft edges make it the parts more interesting than its whole, but
the opening music of a sixties hipster perfect sound to drift into the harsh makes it a far more diverting listen than
movie. ‘She Flies Away With My Love’ realities of 2011 the opener. ‘In Front’ is a riot of 8-bit

16
January
December
2011 -2010
Culturedeluxe
– The 2010inIssue
3D
 part childish nonsense, Joe Cornish who has just directed idiot in your subject: in this respect
without any pretence his first feature film, ‘Attack the at least, Count Cornulese trumps
at real intelligent Block’, released next year). Bucky Balls. On SWV. 2 there
commentary. In are 3 cases where each of the
this respect, one can So whilst, at least on the face duo has done a song on the same
draw the obvious of it, this is childish bollocks, I subject: The Quantum of Solace,
comparison with can enjoy SWV. 2 on the basis Baz Luhrmann’s Australia, and
Trey Parker and that I know to what extent they Kate Nash, and in each case Joe’s
Matt Stone, creators are playing characters when they slightly more subtle take on his
of South Park: they sing lines like those in the Adam own interpretation of the subjects
just show that you Buxton’s song ‘Nutty Room’, definitely reaches the parts other
don’t have to be ‘Look at the jars, look at the jars, parody can’t reach. On the
Fry and Laurie to look at the things inside the jars/ other hand, Adam Buxton is the
Adam and Joe - Song Wars Vol.2 find humour in the I’ve got some fingers, there’s some uncontested king of the absurd:
rampant stupidity of hair and several winkies’. Perhaps songs like “Bob Dylan’s DVD
Words: Pete Hughes modern life: you only unsurprisingly, their modus box set”, in which a voice bearing
need to walk around operandi is extremely similar absolutely no resemblance to Bob
At first listen, this seems to be acting like a complete twat to to that of their childhood friend Dylan’s sings about the joy of
a passable collection of childish bring out the inner moron in the Louis Theroux (with whom they receiving various DVD box sets as
pastiches of pop culture, which great British public. For example used to make home movies, and gifts, simply defy explanation, and
at times makes you laugh simply Adam Buxton’s character Ken play the touching game, where are beautiful in their absurdity.
at its stupidity: it’s only really Corder, who in their TV show you have to go up to strangers in The same goes for the duo’s
in the light of Adam and Joe’s convinced members of the public the street and see how long you alternative to ‘Happy Birthday’,
oeuvre of intelligent and incisive that he was a record producer, or can touch them for, under the ‘Birthday Time’: sung in a corny
dissection of the facade of pop film director, and subsequently aegis of, for example, asking for Californian accent, it’s pretty
culture that, for me at least, Song created a pop band in one series, directions): in both cases, the idea believable at points, and finishes
Wars Volume 2 becomes really and made a short film in another. is to act like a simpleton in order to with the immortal line ‘Birthday
enjoyable. Of course, no doubt the Despite his acting like a complete bring out the childish side of your time, its birthday time/ why can’t
pranksters themselves would scoff arsehole to those involved, his victim, er, I mean interviewee. we live forever?’
at such at any sort of intelligent artistes had complete faith in his Except, on a CD, it’s a lot more
analysis of what is for the most talents (whereas in real life, it is difficult to subtlety bring out the

Issue’ is a 2 disc it, and on this track, that hasn’t sounds a little post new-romantic.
collection of some of happened. One of the best Two Digitalism pop up with ‘Blitz’, a
the most exciting blip- Door Cinema Club remixes this pretty decent effort comprising of
pop and electronica year was done by Beataucue, and their usual frantic electro sound,
with various other the French production duo make an and then suddenly out of left
genres rearing their appearance here with ‘Disque Oh.’ field Alexis Taylor of Hot Chip
heads too. Disc 1 The track is further proof of what turns up on a track with a guy
opens up with ‘Walker’ genius these two have. ‘Disque called Justus Köhncke in a disco
by Cascadeur, which Oh’ is a fun, effervescent joy ride; infused track called ‘Sorry.’ This
is an excellently it’s like stealing a clown car and is the great thing about Kitsuné
executed slow burner driving over Simon Cowell’s face, compilation albums, you just have
with a great sense repeatedly. no idea what’s coming next. The
of atmosphere. It’s The final stand out track from artist list reads like a who’s who
the kind of track disc 1 is ‘Climbing Walls’ by of who’s that, but there is so much
Kitsuné 10: The Fireworks Issue that conjures up a Strange Talk. With a sound pitched quality and so much variation. The
feeling of aimlessly somewhere between Yeasayer and fireworks issue is brimming full
Words: Dave Reynolds
wondering the streets Phoenix, this track is catchy as of enough explosive tracks to blow
So here it is, merry Kitsuné. at 3 in the morning. Things get hell, with some awesome guitar up parliament, if that’s your bag
Well, not quite. The 10th Kitsuné more upbeat and up-tempo as the riffs, great harmonies, it’s just pure (sorry, I couldn’t resist).
Maison compilation album is first disc moves on. It wouldn’t brilliance. They are definitely a and the Pet Shop Boys. Saying
entitled ‘The Fireworks Issue.’ This be a Kitsuné compilation without band to watch out for in the future. that, it’s pleasant and catchy, but I
opens the door for endless explosive their biggest commercial success, Disc 2 is just as relentlessly wont’ be taking to many dips into
punnery, unless of course I decide Two Door Cinema Club, making fantastic as disc 1, with the lead off Atlantique.
the album is a bit of a damp squib. an appearance. ‘What You Know’ track ‘Once and for All’ by Clock
The French music label Kitsuné gets a reworking by Mustang, Opera sounding hugely anthemic
Maison has quickly become well but it falls a bit wide of the mark. and symphonic. ‘Manners’ by Icona
known as a taste maker and trend The problem with reworking a Pop has a brilliant double tracked
setter, and their compilation Two Door Cinema Club track is chorus that sticks to the inside of
albums are always brimming with that their songs are so perfectly your head like treacle. ‘Liar, My
new tracks from their exciting crafted that a remix has to do Dear’ by the Heartbreaks has
roster of bands. The ‘Fireworks something special to improve on some fantastic jangly guitars, and

17
LIVE REVIEWS

Ringo Deathstarr, Aberdeen slightly with their recent venture forward are reserved for do recall Bilinda Butcher at the
Tunnels, 01/12/10 downscale to three members, so the band’s biggest successes thus band’s peak.
The last time Ringo Deathstarr it is now up to bassist Alex to far (Mary Chain pastiche ‘Some The gig ends with the double-
hit Scotland they played to only switch between that and guitar Kind of Sad’) and their sardonic pronged attack of ‘Down On You’
a handful more than their own while Elliott triggers additional wit (former B-side ‘Summertime’ and former single ‘In Love’. They
number - and even two of those noise from an impressive bank is introduced as being “about sound immense, bendable, fizzy
had been dragged along by of pedals. In fact, the combined snow”) on the tongue, generally electric.
myself. This time round, and sound of samples, Daniel on ‘Summertime’ is another More importantly, some of the
even in spite of heavy snowfall, drums and Elliott’s fuzz guitar example of the band wearing crowd cast aside several layers of
the band are playing to a packed- allows Alex to lose her guitar their influences on their sleeves, clothing and begin frugging with
out Tunnels on their final night entirely and entertain us with the assuming their sleeves are covered appreciation - now those chins
supporting those perennial world’s smallest tambourine. in 1980’s button badges, in that have been sufficiently stroked.
Grandfathers of Indie, The The band’s old favourite it is the sound of My Bloody Ringo Deathstarr picked up
Wedding Present. ‘Sweet Girl’ is delivered with Valentine playing in a cavern. Yes, several new fans tonight and it’s
The crowd do seem to be suitable drone: the sound of it is that reverberating and Alex’s no more than they deserve.
huddling for warmth, however. excited boredom amid guitar dreamy vocals tonight really Words:Richie Brown
Some have taken their scarves, swirl, pumping bass and sucrose
gloves and ear muffs off, but growls. However, there are many
the majority stand far back in a songs tonight new to these ears,
protective formation, trying to each providing a tempting aural
raise their body temperatures glimpse into next Spring’s album
with alcohol. With a loud, release. Some sound raw, as new
crunchy opening, the Deathstarr songs should, yet nestling between
beckon everyone forward - raucous feedback, imposing
frontman Elliott appealing: “we basslines and often inaudible
had to drive all day in the snow drawls, there are callow tunes
and we’re driving to fucking shuffling around and popping
Bristol tonight, so come on down. their heads intermittently above
interesting to see where they go the superfuzz parapet.
next from here. But the biggest cheers from
The live setup has changed the small legion of fans who did

18 December 2010 – The 2010 Issue

The Common Room, Jericho due in no small part, doubtless, to do greater justice to their fine This diverse collection of bands,
Tavern, 05/12/10 the recent boom in so-called Nu- song craft. which We Aeronauts front man
The much-lauded NME folkers, including Oxford’s own Coming out of left field with Greg appropriately (and perhaps
exposé on Oxford’s Blessing Bellowhead and Jonquil. Amongst some middle-of-the-road but facetiously) dubbed the Divine
force revealed some home truths the best were the young 7-piece beautifully played stadium rock Schism to mirror the exclusive
about Oxford’s incestuous music Sonny Liston, named after the were The Scholars, sporting Blessing Force Collective,
scene, none less horrifying than boxing champion, and evidently knitwear and chequered shirts to excellently showcased the less
the extent of the musical in- hoping to knock the rest out the match their moniker. These guys experimental side of Oxford’s
breeding which has gone on in ring: despite their relative youth, are lacking none of the tenets music scene: the odd dichotomy
our wholesome town, leading to the group were tight and brought of super-stardom, with guitars of folk and prog, and the
horrifying hybrids and sporadic some much welcomed pop attitude drenched in delay, heavy synth complementary blend of university
spawn of once- mighty groups. to a fairly traditional sound. We work and toe-tapping disco beats, students and hard-working (or, as
Conversely, this showcase threw Aeronauts, comparative old- and a handsome and enigmatic it might be, benefit scrounging)
light on the up and coming hands at the folk troupe game, front man to boot. Think Interpol locals. Over a glass of the
talents in Oxford’s underground, explored more experimental mixed with a bit more Interpol Jericho’s own mulled wine, I asked
including some that have been up song structures, like some kind and you’re about there. Rightly a recent inductee to the Oxford
and coming for somewhat longer of acoustic 65 days. Message to so, they have a date supporting scene, Dylan Gwalia, if he thought
than is suitable for that epithet, Bears, with a more modest line-up Electric six at the O2 academy on Oxford’s rich musical heritage
rather they have been swimming of 4, also used a folk aesthetic to their gig list. worked in its bands’ favour. “I
around the gutters hoping for a explore some new territory. However, the real highlight think it can work against you,”
chance to evolve into the great and Despite the slew of folk bands of this weekend was Spring he mused, “you have to work a
the good. (all of which, conspiratorially, Offensive. Having gone from non- lot harder to get noticed here.”
Alphabet Backwards are a included a token auburn-haired existence to fully-booked in the Which certainly seems to be the
shining example of an excellent, lady singing back-up and playing past year alone (which included case, but if you’re in the audience
straight-up pop quintet to have either a violin or a piano), the release of an EP, a mini- game, you’re spoilt for choice, and
been hoping to make their there were a number of decent album, a national tour and much I wouldn’t have it any other way.
deserved ascendance to fame and protagonists of Oxford’s other air time), you might expect them Words: Pete Hughes
glory, but for all their efforts have chief export, Prog. Actually, to have rock-star attitudes to boot,
been left to loiter with the prols, Our Lost Infantry hail from the but like The Scholars, this band
despite having all the makings of unlikely locality of Aldershot, were charmingly unpretentious.
a great group. Their latest record, but have made something of a The lead singer’s persona on stage
The Superhero EP, with its duo name for themselves in Oxford’s (or rather off, as they conducted
male-female vocals, is in the same dingy dives and drinking holes, an entire acoustic set from the
vein as The Beautiful South, following in the footsteps of floor in front of the stage in
but such a comparison does not Nitkowski and Hreda. Their classic Oxford style) was one of
do justice to lead man James’ hybrid sound brought together endearing nervousness, as his
poignant and witty lyrics. the angry defiance of Hundred hands chased each other around
Other groups, relative Reasons with some more his body spasmodically, grasping
newcomers forming from intelligent musical structures, for fabric to clutch, beautifully
university students and local struggling to find a happy mirroring his tormented vocals’
lads alike, span the spectrum medium. Actually, their studio struggle against the infuriatingly
from the dazzling to the done- recordings, allowing some of their placid backing vocals and
to-death. Folk troupes abound, more subtle elements to be heard, soothing guitars.

19
20 December 2010 – The 2010 Issue
21
Guilty Pleasures
1941
“a tale told by
an idiot, full
of sound and
fury, signifying
nothing”
To read critical reaction at the time of its 1979 release, a bunch of enemy killjoys ruin our Christmas”, he
1941 is “a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, says, nailing a wreath to the door just before the house
signifying nothing”. So why is it a Guilty pleasure? collapses around him, Buster Keaton style.

The story, a screwball farce based on an actual At one point a tank crashes through a paint factory
suspected Japanese attack on L.A and its environs a and is covered in paint, then crashes through a
week after Pearl Harbor, was written by emerging turpentine factory and emerges returned to it’s
wunderkids Robert Zemeckis and Bob Gale. They had original state. It even has a ferris wheel with frozen
added input from John Milius, and Steven Spielberg, observers (including a ventriloquist dummy), crash off
hot off Close Encounters, agreed to direct what is a pier into the ocean.
essentially a live action Looney Tunes movie.
John Wayne was Spielberg’s first choice to play
It was originally entitled “The Night The Japs Stillwell. He loved the idea until he read the script.
Attacked”, and references a surprising number of Outraged by the farcical nature, he tried to talk
real incidents. They are tied together by young waiter Spielberg out of making it. Charlton Heston also
Wally’s attempts to get together with Betty at a dance turned it down, also perceiving it to be un-American.
competition in a Hollywood Boulevard club. Along the Robert Stack got it though, and plays it wonderfully
way a bunch of wacky characters interact in his quest. straight, as he would to hilarious effect in the
Airplane! movies a few years later.
A Japanese sub, captained by Toshiro Mifune and
carrying Christopher Lee as a German observer, is The chaotic Jitterbug chase scene pre-cursors the
lost off the Californian coast. They kidnap a local night club fight in Indiana Jones And The Temple Of
(Slim Pickens) and try to get his wireless through the Doom. A gag that was supposed to be used featured
hatch -”We’ve got to figure out a way of making these Christopher Lee producing a sinister gadget that
things smaller”. They’re spotted and panic escalates. turned into a coat Hanger. Of course this appeared
In the meantime, the voice of reason, General Stillwell in Raiders Of The Lost Ark. Out of this anarchic
(a deadpan Robert Stack) is watching Dumbo in the gag-fest more polished, witty routines emerged in later
cinema (this really happened). Spielberg movies.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RmLAA2r4DlA Spielberg said the film was “basically written and

directed as one would perform a demolition derby”.
Tim Matheson tries to seduce Stillwell’s secretary( Subtle it ain’t. It’s unfairly held up as a Spielberg flop,
Nancy Allen), who only gets turned on when airborne. and a rare dip in form, but I’d rather have this broad
“No man has ever got to first base with her on the farce than the sentimental tosh of some of his later
ground. But get her in the air, she’ll bat your balls out work (I’m looking at you, Hook!). After this long,
of the park”. They do get up there and get mistaken wild shoot, he could finally get on with Raiders Of The
for an enemy bomber, and are shot at and chased by Lost Ark. In many ways, 1941 was a learning curve,
a crazy fighter pilot, Wild Bill Kelso (John Belushi). because on a tighter budget and tighter (self- inflicted)
They tangle above rioting Zoot suiters and service men schedule, he was forced to reign in the excess and
in Hollywood Boulevard. This riot really happened, deliver a tight, punchy story, with well executed, not
but two years later. over drawn-out thrills.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6P7gxtxP4U&fea Words Tim Pelan

ture=related

There aren’t many good stand out funny lines, but

there are a plethora of great slapstick sight gags and
stunts. The film is trying to channel films like It’s A
Mad, Mad, Mad Mad World, and more specifically,
The Russians Are Coming, The Russians Are Coming!

Ward Douglas (Ned Beatty) has an anti-aircraft gun

placed in his cliff top home’s garden (again, based on
reality). He takes pot shots at the sub, demolishing
his own house in the process. “We’re not going to let
 Once a mo
For and Against head on a
avatar This month
AGAINST (John Rain) to kill him as he is their enemy and part of the force that
wants them dead and moved on from this planet, they
If there is one film that makes me hate the world, it’s instantly change their minds and say they will teach him
Titanic. It’s sloppy, it’s contrived, it’s full of feckless everything about their way of life. I realise this is a very
sentiment and, more importantly, it’s full of money. It clumsy way of pointing fingers about how the native
cost two hundred million dollars. It made $1835300000 at Americans were treated, but it is just silly. Why on earth
the box office. A similar feat was achieved in 2009. That would they teach someone who is clearly working in
film was Avatar and it was similarly sloppy, contrived and league with their enemies, everything about themselves?
full of feckless sentiment. It allegedly cost $500 million They then have the balls to be surprised when he reveals
and has so far earned well over a billion dollars in box that he didn’t come and find them for any other reason
office, and is well on track to out-earn Titanic. than to betray them. The Na’Vi are clearly idiots.It would
Why?! seem the military of the future are not exempt for being
Before he made Titanic, James Cameron was one of the really stupid either
good guys. He started life working within the Roger They have giant warships and one of these giant warships
Corman B-movie family and graduated to the big table can shoot down a tree the size of a country. But rather
with the legendary double whammy of The Terminator than use a few of them to kill everything on the planet
and Aliens. He swiftly followed that with The Abyss, (a planet humans have no stake in by the way, we cannot
Terminator 2 : Judgement Day and True Lies. The success breathe the air and we don’t live there) they decide the
of these films was by design and not accident. Cameron best course of action is to spend billions on making
had it. He could write great dialogue and design top-notch pretend Na’Vi for hippies to get into and try and use
action set pieces seemingly without trying. The only to negotiate with the natives. I am no military history
side effect to his genius was his legendary temper on set. expert, but I am pretty sure the military would not really
Many men of steel have been shouted down and turned think twice about just decimating the planet and leaving
into jelly by Cameron when he sits in the directors chair. with the “unobtainium”. Only at the end of the film
An unfortunate by product of spending so much time do the army finally realise that if they use one of their
underwater during filming The Abyss was that Cameron giant army bomber, loads of helicopters and loads of foot
fell in love with being a submariner. He dedicated most of soldiers in their giant robot suits (with stupid comedy over
the 1990s searching the underwater kingdom looking at sized knives) that they could destroy the Na’Vi without
fish and what ever else lurks down there. Unfortunately breaking a sweat. Again, idiots that deserved to be killed
for the world, rather than coming back up and deciding by hippies.
to carry on ploughing his field of awesome man films, Finally, a quick note for Mr. Cameron, if you have
he decided to make Titanic and bore the arse off of the decided to have “corporations are bad” as your general
world.What followed, rather than disdain, was acclaim theme for one of your villains, at least have the balls to
and many Oscars. keep it consistent. In this film sadly, our corporate “all
I really can’t believe that Avatar, had it not been in 3D, I care about is money” guy withers in the last act. He
would have been the biggest grossing film of all time. If decides that diplomacy has failed (which it has) and gives
I did live in a world where that was the case, I could only the order to kill the Na’Vi as they won’t move on. Then,
imagine that the second highest grossing film of all time our “heroes” give him that tried and tested (and most of
was Eragon, closely followed by The Adventures of Pluto all clichéd) speech about “women and children, you don’t
Nash.Avatar is like a really boring dot to dot picture. You want that blood on your hands”. So, he does a U-turn
know where it is going from the moment it begins and and lets them go in one more time. I am pretty sure that
all the pretty visuals in the world will not make it any the women and children speech does not wash with the
more interesting. I actually found myself thinking about men who run Nestle or Coca-Cola. I could well imagine
leaving the cinema at about the one hour mark. It all just that they wouldn’t give a shit about women and children
left me cold and it was very long and very dull. getting killed if they are standing in the way of billions of
I cared very little for any of the main protagonists. I dollars. But I guess that’s plausibility for you.
would have quite happily watched the natives getting The cast are fine and everyone plays their parts well, it
blown up, at least it would have been more interesting. is quite simply that the tools, rather than the workmen,
No one had any motivation for any of their actions in this are to blame. The plot is transparent and unoriginal, the
film. dialogue is clichéd and unrealistic, and the film’s only
Our main hero is in a wheelchair, and obviously deeply apparently redeeming feature lies within the visuals, and
unhappy about it. He is told that if he spies on the Na’vi the fact that this was the first huge budget movie to be
(the natives) and gets info about their giant tree that sits released once cinemas were widely set up for 3D. The
on top of the “unobtainium” (I would mention that that massive box office sales are a huge marketing coup, and
is a terrible name, but I am sure you are already thinking testament to the excellent timing of the film’s release, but
that too) that he will be given a nice new set of legs. He do not speak for its quality. Sadly, this week I read that
manages to get in with the Na’Vi. He tells them he is in Cameron is well under way with writing an “Avatar bible”
24
the Marines
December
and although
2010 – The
they2010
mistrust
Issuehim and want so many sequels can follow. This is not good news.
onth our film writers will go head to
film that one loves and one loathes.
h Avatar is in the dock.
FOR (Tim Pelan)
Make no mistake, 3D enhanced the Avatar
experience, but each subsequent viewing, even on offered Jake a sweet deal to get his legs fixed, and
2D T.V, still succeeds in transporting the viewer to feels betrayed.
the most incredibly realised alien world ever put on He pulls Jake closer to dispatch him by his own hand,
screen. rather than his Amp - suit’s blade. The fight is a
Pandora is at once alien and real, with the move from clever reversal of the Power Loader fight in Aliens
human characters on base, to Jake’s interaction with - this time the mechanised human is the monster.
Na’vi in their giant scale bioluminescent rainforest, Finally, to all those geeks looking forward to John
subtly achieved. Zoe Saldana in particular helps to Carter Of Mars, it was one of the inspirations for
utterly convince that the Na’Vi are flesh and blood this unique, off world adventure that it will take a
characters. long time to surpass. I can’t wait to see what other
Dismissed as “Dancing With Wolves” in space, the adventures Pandora holds in store.
story is essentially that of the hero’s journey of self
discovery, set against a backdrop of ecological ram-
raiding of indigenous people. It culminates in the
mother of all battles between the “primitives” and the
industrialised “alien” interlopers - a theme that runs
through the Star Wars saga.
The use of 3D was tasteful, Cameron drawing us into
this strange new world, populated by flora and fauna
he basically designed himself. When Jake is chased
by the massive Thanator off the cliff to the river
below, it evokes every Tarzan movie you’ve ever seen,
only magnified and strangely different. Yes, it may
seem simplistic on face value, but it’s the emotional
pull that propels the action. A few well aimed digs at
Western foreign policy anchor the themes - “When
people are sitting on shit that you want, you make
them your enemies, then you can justify taking it
away from them”, says Jake in disgust at the RDA
mercenaries.
Cameron was even canny enough to cock a snook at
early naysayers by having oily RDA chief Selfridge
(Giovanni Ribisi) dismiss the Na’Vi as “blue space
monkeys”. By the time the film came out, audiences
had spoken instead. Over 2.5 billion dollars taken
from the original theatrical release alone - that many
people can’t be wrong. When I first saw it (I went
twice) the family behind me loved it. Overheard -
“Brilliant. I’d see that again.” “When’s it on next?”
“Half an hour?”
I wouldn’t be surprised if they did return to Pandora.
John sometimes comments on “punch the air” movie
moments. In the spectacular final battle, such a
moment occurs when the Na’Vi seem to be beaten.
Jake’s appeal to the Bio-Spirit every native creature
is hard-wired into pays off, though. Suddenly, a herd
of massive Hammerheads join the party, stampeding
the mercenary army. Hordes of Banshees - the
Na’Vi’s airborne steeds - rip soldiers from their
copters.
Stephen Lang as Col. Quaritch is a great villain
too. He sees the Avatar program as an aberration,
of value only when Jake is feeding him intel. That’s
why the fight between them is personal - he feels he
25
Re-appreciation society
rollerball
The year is 2018. There are no
wars. There is no crime. There is
only...Rollerball.
Rollerball is a film about a dystopian future in which early on in the film, he is notified he will be “asked”
the world is a global corporate state. The only thing to retire, which of course, he has no intention of
that matters in the world of the future is a vicious doing. Caan is effortlessly likeable as Johnathan.
and brutal roller derby blood sport in which two A gentle man off of the “field” who likes nothing
teams clad in body armor and roller skates (some are more than hanging around on his future ranch, and
on motorcycles) chase a metal ball, fired from a giant a superstar of carnage as soon as he puts his skates
air cannon, around a banked, circular track. on, one who will think nothing of smashing a man’s
brains out or running a motorbike over a dying man.
The camera work in this film is awesome. You can In other words, a man’s man.
only imagine how amazing this must have looked in
the mid 1970s. A camera shooting along the floor and The choreography and insane stunt work of the
keeping up with hoards of roller skating maniacs. matches themselves are mind-boggling, with bodies
The stunt work is also a sight to be seen. flying all over the place and most of the principal
players having to do all of their own roller skating
Films like this could only be made in the 1970s. The and some stunt work.
visceral nature of the frenetic violence could have
only been staged at this time (hence the turgid 2001 The soundtrack is mostly made up of classical music
remake of Rollerball died on its arse). Films such as and the film is principlally played out to the classic
Rollerball, Westworld and Logan’s Run with their piece Toccata and Fugue in D minor by Bach, a
future stark visual ideas just seemed to belong within perfect accompaniment to the ensuing brutality that
this era. The production design on all of these films plays out.
led the children of these decades to believe that the
future held nothing but barren wastelands and evil If you have not seen Rollerball, I strongly suggest
sky scrapers that strangled the grey skies. The future you do, get your skates on and get on your bike.
looked bleak, and what better sport to be the sport of
the future, than one in which men killed each other http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-
over a ball? The design of the bare bones uniforms NtHe1UIg0&feature=related
(with only a robotic number displayed in the middle
of the shirt) and the track itself (the brand new Rudi- Words: John Rain
Sedlmayer-Halle , the then-new BMW Headquarters
served as the arena) are what makes this film stand
out from others of the era. Well, that and the the
boys-own future dream carnage of the game itself
and the filming locations used (the then just rebuilt
Berlin, which looked, and still looks, futuristic).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=udI8RPpSleg&fea
ture=related

James Caan plays Jonathan E, the star of Rollerball.

A man so loved by the people that the powerful
corporations perceive him as a threat. Therefore

26 December 2010 – The 2010 Issue

27
Slasher Films : Past,
Present & Future
Everyone loves a good slasher film. As sadistic as it sounds, seeing the annoying teenage bimbo being

gutted is something we all want to see. But which slasher films are the best ones? They’ve been around

for about 50 years and even still they are box office hits. It is without a doubt that they have changed

over time as well but what is the best slasher flick from each decade so far?

28 December 2010 – The 2010 Issue

Psycho (1960)
Looking at slasher horrors from way back in the 1960’s
the best movie to come to mind has to be the original.
Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho was one of the most
controversial movies of its era and opened the door
for the slasher horror genre. Even teenagers today
know of the infamous Norman Bates and his antics
in the Bates motel. Nowadays though Psycho seems
mild as a horror movie, especially with the modern 80’s Video Nasties
special effects we have today and graphic movies such So far, the slasher movies in question could have
as Saw. We have become a little bit de-sensitized to happened in reality. Ok so maybe after the butt
the fact that we are watching someone getting slashed kicking he got at the end of the movie Michael Myers
to their final breath. However, in 1960, Psycho was would not have made it to the sequel but the stalking
the epitome of controversy and debate right from the and slashing lark could have happened. Then came
opening scene where leading lady Marion is in her the 1980’s. Choosing the best slasher movie from
bra, right through to the end where we see the skeleton the 80’s wasn’t an easy decision as there were two
of Norman Bates’ mother in the eerie basement. But tough contenders with Friday the 13th in 1980 and A
even though it was thought to be so controversial the Nightmare On Elm Street in 1984 both being iconic
film grossed $32m at the US box office. slasher horror movies. But it has to be said Freddy
Kruger just has the edge over Jason X and his mum,
Mrs Voorhees. The decade saw the genre move to more
a more creative level in A Nightmare On Elm Street,
with people being gutted in their sleep as opposed to
being stalked around a house or street before being
butchered. But the thing that makes A Nightmare On
Elm Street the iconic piece that it is has to be Freddy
with his claw hand along with that creepy rhyme ‘One,

Halloween and the 70’s two, Freddy’s coming for you…’ One thing about the
film that developed the slasher horror genre was the
The 70’s saw the slasher genre take off somewhat with fact that it added a comedic element to it. I mean,
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre in 1974 and The Hills if Freddy and his hand were trying to gut me in my
Have Eyes in 1977. But the best of the decade has sleep I have to admit I would be a little bit scared, but
to be John Carpenter’s Halloween in 1978. We were in terms of watching the movie, I find Freddy and his
introduced to the iconic and psychotic character of antics quite amusing and the movie grossed over $25m
Michael Myers. The film came 18 years after Psycho at the US box office.
and a lot had changed in the public’s perceptions in
that space of time. Halloween is one of the earliest
representations of the modern slasher movie with 90’s Comedy Horror
stalking, nudity and of course blood and guts as Comedy was something that continued into the 1990’s
standard. However iconic Psycho may be, the death with the slasher horror genre and the best of the 90’s
scenes in Halloween are much more explicit, but - and maybe even my favourite of all time – is Wes
the audience loved it. Infact Halloween was so well Craven’s 1996 satirical effort Scream. It’s one of those
received by fans that it went on to have sequel after films where no matter how many times you watch it,
sequel with the final of the original series being and even though you know what’s coming next, it still
Halloween Resurrection in 2002 some 24 years after has you gripped. Like A Nightmare On Elm Street,
the original. But that’s not the only reason Halloween the movie had both elements of horror and comedy.
is so accomplished as a slasher. It established itself From the canny things the Ghostface killer says and
within the genre and is easily recognizable to the comedic way he acts, to those scenes where you
audiences. Everyone knows of Michael Myers’ mask, just have no idea what will happen next, the film
the stalked character of Laurie Strode played by is influential and was one of the biggest box office
Jamie Lee Curtis and who could forget the eerie theme successes of the genre grossing over $103m in the
music. Oh and it grossed a tidy $47m at the US box USA. However, some may argue that the element of
office, not bad for a film with a $320,000 budget. The comedy outweighs the horror in the Scream slashers,
movie also featured the concept of the ‘final girl’ who but even so it went on to have two sequels with a
is the one girl that survives at the end of the film; this fourth set for 2011. And it has to be said that although
became a common factor in slasher horror’s in the 70’s we can laugh about Scream one of the scariest things
and continued as a recurring concept in the genre. about it is the fact that it could actually happen. There
is nothing in it that pushes the boundaries of reality to
a certain extremity, which in effect is the scariest and
smartest thing about the whole series.

29
Y2K and the remakes 2011 onwards ??
Then we entered the noughties. This may come as But which decade was the best? Do we have love for
a surprise to some, but I believe the best slasher the originals or do the special effects give the upper
from this time is 2005’s House of Wax. It’s just one hand to the latest flicks? Well it is hard to say. Both
of those movies that is bad and good at the same have their advantages and disadvantages the 60’s got
time. It takes all the elements of a good slasher the ball rolling with establishing the genre and it has
movie and dramatizes them to the max. If it’s the blossomed from then on. However, with the special
nudity you’re looking for you have Paris Hilton, if it’s effects that we are seeing in films nowadays it has
the slaughtering of teenagers, well you’re watching to be said that slasher movies are continually on the
a slasher movie so you’re on the ball or if it’s the change and will be set to terrify for some time. It’s
dramatic storyline with the final girl you’ve got it all clear that the genre is something that has developed
in there. Although it did have mixed reviews from over time, meaning that it is something that is going
critics it still took over $32m at the US box office. Ok to carry on developing in the future.
it was nowhere near the amount that Scream took I know you may be asking yourself how this is going
nine years earlier but it still proves that slashers are to happen? Well, one is the concept of splatter movies,
successful. which is basically slasher meets torture porn. This
The Saw franchise has been going on since 2003 and is something we have started to see develop over
was iconic from the get go but the thing that made the last decade with the Saw movies and even more
Saw 3D so interesting was the fact that it was in 3D. unsuccessful horrors like I Know Who Killed Me
The storyline of the 3D edition also made the latest starring Lindsay Lohan and is definitely something
installment one-to-watch as it was continued from that we are bound to see in the future as well. Films
the first film through to the end. Saw 3D pushed such as 2009’s The Human Centipede are showcasing
the boundaries of goriness to a new level, leaving a the way in which the genre is set to change, leaving
little less to the imagination than some of its slasher less to the imagination and more to the naked eye.
predecessors, but regardless of that it was a hit with It appears that with the slasher genre being so
audiences and grossed almost $46m in the US. Of conventional, there are only so many new angles
course we can’t disregard the fact that there was directors can take, hence the dodgy remakes of the
another epic slasher movie released in 2010 featuring classics. So how long is going to be until I Know
the one and only Freddy Kruger. After 26 years A What You Did Last Summer gets it’s rubbish remake?
Nightmare On Elm Street got it’s remake and with With the slasher genre it is only a matter of time
all the added special effects that were missing in the before it does.
original, it was a scorcher and terrified from the I know what you’re thinking. If recent films ruin
beginning, even with its comedic elements. the genre, how are we ever going to watch a decent
slasher movie again? Well, change isn’t necessarily
always a bad thing but if you do get the point where
you’re thinking the slasher genre has more style over
substance, the only think I can recommend is for you
to sit back on the sofa, grab a bag of popcorn and
Words: Beth Hepple stick Scream in the DVD player
30 December 2010 – The 2010 Issue
31
film review
127 hours
Directed by: Danny Boyle
Starring: James Franco, Kate Mara, Amber Tamblyn

32 December 2010 – The 2010 Issue

Stuck between a rock and a hard place, as Aaron
Ralston’s self-penned book aptly puts it, Danny
Boyle’s dramatisation of his nightmare dilemma is
anything but static.

All we need to know about Ralston’s life is established

in ducked telephone calls from his mother and
seemingly spur of the moment plans for his next
adrenaline fuelled weekend. life for him is a rush, a
natural high in the great outdoors. If you can’t keep
up, too bad. He’s not a bad person, but as a girlfriend
tells him in a recalled flashback, he’ll end up lonely.
It takes him to literally break free to experience
“rebirth”, as he put it to the film-makers.

Ralston (an excellent James Franco) hits Utah’s Blue

John Canyon, powering around on his bike to the
isolated canyons, filming himself amid his spectacular
playground. He stops briefly to show two female hikers
his own difficult, crazy route to an underground pool.
As he leaves them one remarks “I don’t think we
figured in his day at all.” He doesn’t tell anyone where
he’s going, something he bitterly regrets when he slips
and a rock rolls down the narrow gorge, trapping his
right arm.

As Ralston husbands his supplies and figures out

options, the filmmakers expose his thoughts and
fears, hallucinations and flashbacks. Boyle uses split
screen and cranking to great effect, and suckers the
audience more than once with false hopes. Ralston
comes to appreciate little things, like removing his
shoe to stretch out his cold toes to a fleeting moment
of morning sun penentrating his shrunken world.
He interviews himself, mock T.V style on his video
camera, appreciating just how stupid he was. When
he realises at one point he’s hallucinating a solution
and plays back his reaction, he quietly repeats, “Don’t
lose it.” Like another survivors tale, Touching The
Void, recalled music plays a part in his half crazed
imaginings.

After various ingenious escape attempts fail, he

returns to the only grisly option left. Here, sound and
jagged editing are nerve-jangling. He literally cuts
connections to re-connect with the lives of others.

What Boyle and his film powerfully illustrate is that

no one is an island, and life is worth fighting for, to
enjoy, but most importantly, to share.

Words: Tim Pelan

33
34 December 2010 – The 2010 Issue
35
Game review Forget Fifa 11, Black Ops or GT5, the only game worth
mentioning in Foster Towers this month is the remake
of Rare Studios classic fps “Goldeneye”.

Now the first outing of this groundbreaking game

Goldeneye
Developer: Eurocom
was originally bundled with the N64 way back in ‘97
and it was this combination that first introduced me
to the joys of home console gaming. Brought as a
Christmas gift for my sons, the, frankly, very sensible
Publisher: Activision
idea of testing electronic equipment to avoid xmas day
Platform: Wii
malfunctions, proved to be an enlightening experience
for my good wife and I, as we soon started trading
passionate nights in for hot 007, single and
multiplayer action in the lead up to the
festive day.

So if the original Goldeneye was

better than sex, how does
Activision’s re imagining
compare?

Well for a start, replacing

the 90’s Bronson Bond with
the new ‘Bond on the block’,
Daniel Craig, may seem
like a huge misstep but as
soon as you start playing
through the iconic ‘Dam’
level you soon
realise that
it’s

36 December 2010 – The 2010 Issue

not the only change that developer Eurocom have natural way to play the game.
made ... and sometimes change can be good.
On multiplayer mode you have two choices, either split
The N64 ‘Dam’ was a graphical knock out at the time screen with up to four players playing simultaneously,
but things have moved on quite a bit and the new first which is great fun, but apart from the added level
level shows off what the ‘console for girls n’ grannies’ detail and larger maps isn’t really that far removed
can actually produce in that department .. and it from the N64 version (not a bad thing), or online play.
really is very impressive indeed. Gone are the blocky You can play against eight players online and there is
characters of old, replaced by well animated soldiers a overwhelming choice of modes (some you have to
and spies and although the plot has changed, Eurocom unlock), from the standard Deathmatch and Capture
have shown enough sense to include pivotal moments The Flag types through to the likes of ‘Hero’, where
from the first game. So you still get to climb to the one member of the team is nominated as the ‘Hero’
top of a watchtower and pick off soldiers or take out which effectively means that they can dish out more
hapless individuals, one at a time in a snow drift. It damage but will gleam more points for the other side
is without doubt the best looking game for the Wii if killed. The games run very smoothly online and
although a slight downside to this is the occasional the maps are full of detail and reasonably large. The
glitch when the console cannot handle all the detail only downside is lack of support for chat or messaging
being thrown at it. and no real way of playing a private game, unless
you can fill up all eight slots. However is the welcome
Now, one of the reasons Goldeneye is regarded as one implementation of a ‘Call Of Duty’ style levelling
of the best first person shooters ever made is down to system where you get more experience points for every
the fact that the levels were perfectly pitched, not to kill and as you level up you get access to more guns
short, not too long, not to easy, not too hard and you and gadgets to add to your custom layouts.
never had to backtrack to find anything, so it always
felt that you were moving forward. This is no mean So would I still trade the chance of a bit of Mclovin’
feat as many promising but half finished games can for a night of playing new Goldeneye ... well no, that
testify and apart from a random level in a nightclub, would be stupid .. however, that said Activsion /
Eurocom seem to have succeeded in fleshing out the Eurocom have managed not to spoil the good name
original without you ever getting stuck or bored. of the original and have even come up with an fps Wii
game easily good enough to take on the likes of Halo
The game offers some of the best controller support and COD.
available for the Wii, including the Classic Controller
Pro however. We decided to play it using a Zapper and So Goldeneye still has, (beware - bad pun alert) a
although it took a little while to get used too, with licence to thrill.
a little practice it soon seemed like the
Words: Nick Foster

37
Game review
Splatterhouse
Developer: Namco Bandai
Publisher: Namco Bandai Games
Platform: Xbox 360, PS3

Splatterhouse is Namco Bandai’s modern take on a egging you on. Ten minutes into the game and the
retro arcade title, originally released in the 16 bit era. cracks begin to show. The mask’s snide, fourth wall
The original games were gory 2D scrollers whose breaking comments are hilarious at first but soon
obscene content and parental advisory warnings soon grow stale and the excessive swearing reminds you
led them to become cult classics and Namco Bandai more of an overheard conversation between a group of
have tried to stay as true as possible with this remake teenagers at a bus stop than any memorable dialogue.
to sate their loyal, gore-hungry fans. Then again, it’s fair to assume most people won’t
The game opens with the scrawny hero Rick Taylor, pick up this title for witty one-liners and in-depth
this time sporting a dodgy goatee and Mastodon characterisation. However, the combat is extremely
t-shirt, as always lying in a pool of his own blood repetitive, and as it makes up around 90% of the
as a deranged killer, Henry West, runs off with his game, this quickly becomes an issue. Rick has your
girlfriend. Rick is offered a deal by a demonic mask standard fare, punch, heavy punch and grapple
conveniently within reach of his soon-to-be corpse. combination. As you upgrade you learn more moves
This Mayan artefact, played by Jim Cummings who and improve your existing ones, but this still lacks
has voiced everyone from the lovable bezerker, Minsc the variety to make it entertaining for long. Although
to Winnie the Pooh, explains he can help him save mostly fluid, the combat suffers from poor collision
Jennifer, if Rick in turn helps him. Rick transforms detection and a twitchy, claustrophobic camera.
into a Jason Voorhees mask wearing titan, able to rend The enemies are a variety of zombies, cleaver wielding
enemies limb from limb and as manoeuvrable as a or spiked and tentacled mutants, which are fun to
300lb slab of hamburger, and the chaos begins. dismember but also able to tear Rick to shreds in
The game kicks off as a guilty pleasure - violence, seconds. The visual effect of this looks great, as Rick’s
swearing, nudity and heavy metal are all ever present ribs show through torn skin and limbs can even be
as you gleefully guide the skater short laden behemoth lopped off – to be grabbed and used as a makeshift
from room to room, pummelling the endless hordes bludgeon, of course. The enemies aren’t necessarily
of West’s mutants. The mask comments on every cheap, but their hits take large chunks from your
kick, punch and decapitation, in turn berating and health. On the standard difficulty, ‘savage,’ Rick can

38 December 2010 – The 2010 Issue

withstand 3-4 hits from the weakest enemy before are fun, at first, but majorly let down by clunky game
dying and this is where the game quickly becomes mechanics. The controls make these scrolling areas
frustrating with its arcade style checkpoint system. very frustrating as you narrowly miss a jump or clip a
Although this could be considered a throwback to the spike trap because he didn’t recover from the last jump
original titles, arcade games are designed to drain fast enough. Once again the checkpoint system is
the player of each and every piece of change in their there to laugh at your misfortune and point you back
pocket but without this element to spur you on it soon to the beginning of the level, and for me this game will
becomes tiring trudging through the same rooms, go down in history as the first time I’ve been called
killing the same enemies to reach the jump you missed a ‘useless sack of shit’ by a game for missing a jump,
or beastie that got you the first time. which wasn’t as endearing as you would imagine.
The Terror Mask is extremely thirsty and urges you to Unfortunately, Splatterhouse misses the mark on
kill everything in sight to provide him with a copious so many levels. As a horror title, it stitches together
supply of blood. Luckily, Splatterhouse has plenty of numerous, heavy handed Lovecraft references but
that; in fact it boasts more blood than the most violent misses the subtlety and tension building of his style
three games you can think of, put together! This is and instead jumps on the recent bandwagon of all out
exceptionally useful as blood is used for everything; gore fest. There are many titles on the market that
from solving puzzles, to healing, powering up Rick’s have struck the balance between solid game play and
bezerk mode and upgrading his abilities. As you over the top violence much more successfully, from
smash, gouge and decapitate your way from room to Gears of War and Resident Evil, to Manhunt and
room, Rick is able to perform Splatterkills on enemies Shadow of Rome.
with low health. These brutal executions would make Splatterhouse is certainly fun, in small doses, but the
James Earl Cash of Manhunt fame cringe – though clunky, repetitive game play and sloppy execution
even they grow tedious as there are only around 8 or make it a title to avoid for all but the most diehard fans
so variations. of the franchise.
To break up the mind numbing violence there are also
side scrolling areas reminiscent of the originals, where Words:Paul Sharp

39
Game review
Gran Turismo 5
Developer: Polyphony Digital
Publisher: Sony Computer Entertainment
Platform: PS3 Developer: Access Games

Since its first release in 1998, the Gran Turismo series nice inclusion that attempts to draw you further into the
has been regarded as arguably Sony’s biggest franchise, experience, however the turn angle itself is very limited
with over 50 million copies sold globally across five titles, (turn too far and you’re not even looking at the screen
including the recent GT PSP. It is one of the few series’ any more, after all), so you can only look left and right,
that can boast a near-universal appeal to gamers of any stretching to just a couple of inches either side. As such,
age or culture, with its well-composed blend of simulation this feature restricts you to checking the wing and rear-
racing, arcade presentation and some of the best graphics view mirrors and doesn’t extend much further than that.
ever seen on a home console.
The meat of the GT series has always been the aptly-
This time the home console is the PS3, and after five long titled GT Mode, and GT5 is no different. As with
years of development, additions, hardware struggles, previous instalments, you are given a small amount of
delays and promises, Polyphony Digital’s next-gen starting money (measured in the games’ pan-global
masterpiece is ready; tuned, honed and polished to currency; credits) to buy a second-hand entry-level
perfection. Almost... banger, participate in some qualifying races and use
the subsequent prize money to fix it up, tune it and
Upon putting the disc in you’ll be greeted with a transform it into something road-worthy, before moving
painfully familiar install screen. However if the thought on to better vehicles.
of one final ironic delay to your playing experience sends
you hurtling into catatonic despair, breathe easy. Gran Loading GT Mode will present you with a smooth splash
Turismo 5 has a smart way of caching data as it loads, screen rather than a traditional menu, and it is here that
and installing it at the end of each loading screen as you you’ll be dropping in and out of various subsections.
enter a new race. Alternatively, you also have the option After visiting the Used Car Dealership (because you’re
of installing the whole lot in one go (9gb in 55 minutes), too broke to afford anything remotely nice) and claiming
meaning the in-game load screens will be shorter overall. your starting motor, you have the option of driving
It all depends on how eager you are to get behind the A-Spec, where the game plays like a normal physics-
wheel and you certainly can’t fault Polyphony Digital for heavy racer, or B-Spec, whereby you hire a driver to race
giving players the option. on your behalf while you manage his actions via headset.

Once done, the game’s intro movie sets the tone by What works so well is that at any point you can switch
depicting the creation of a car. From having the minerals between A-Spec and B-Spec, with each of them having
and materials mined, smelted and shaped, the assembling a separate XP bar but pooled cash and cars. The game
of the engine, the shaping of the chassis and finally the actively encourages you to split your time between the
construction and production of the finished model. It’s two modes evenly, and it’s nice to be able to finish a
clear that the developers are trying to push the message championship, sit back and let your driver take over. The
that no detail has been overlooked in the understanding drivers themselves have their own career stats, including
and replication of these vehicles.From the cogs of the attitude and temperance, and your management of them
transmission to the bolts on the wheels; all rendered in based on these variables will affect their overall prowess.
loving detail and pristine quality. Overloading them with commands can cause their
mental strength to wane (the in-game equivalent of being
The game is divided into two core modes that any GT nagged to death), resulting in your car being smashed
fan will immediately recognise; Arcade and GT. Arcade into circuit walls as the frustrated driver fails to stay
Mode is your standard racer fare, where you can pick focused. By the same token, leaving an inexperienced
a fast car, select a track and start racing. You’ll also driver to his own devices can result in routine failure to
find two-player split-screen options here, as well as take corners or missing an opportunity to overtake.
some challenges such as drifting and time trials. In a
surprising addition, if you have a PSEye connected while For the first time in the series, any recklessness will
in Arcade Mode it will track your face in cockpit view, result in damage to your car via a newly integrated
allowing you to look around the interior of the car. It’s a real-time damage system. This can range from bumps

40 December 2010 – The 2010 Issue

and scratches, to full-blown dents and crumpled rest of the game is no slouch either, with some very
bodywork. While the damage only seems to be aesthetic impressive tech running under the hood. You can expect
at the moment (barring any grip-less burnt-out tyres), a crisp 1080p picture, running at-or-around 60fps for
Polyphony Digital have announced that the next patch the majority of the time. GT5 also provides support
will bring mechanical failures into the mix, giving you for Stereoscopic 3D if your TV supports it, lending a
that extra incentive to keep your babies out of harm’s tremendous sense of depth to the tracks (and car interiors
way. when in cockpit view). Races can include up to 16 players,
either online or against A.I. Screen tearing did seem to
Unfortunately the type of damage you’ll see is based be an issue on some busier scenes, where the vehicles were
entirely on the type of car you’re using. While bunched together rather than spread out over the track.
Polyphony Digital flaunts the fact that there are over Another problem is that some vehicle shadows can appear
1,000 cars in the game, only 200 of these are actually blocky and jagged, which contrasts harshly against the
destructible. These vehicles are denoted as ‘Premium’ smoothness of everything else. Hopefully Polyphony
cars, while the other 832 are ‘Standard’. Unfortunately Digital will address this in a patch.
the differences between the two don’t end at damage
either. While the ‘Premium’ cars were designed In terms of content, GT5 truly comes up on top. For the
specifically for GT5, the ‘Standard’ models are actually first time in the series, the World Rally Championship
imported from previous games and up scaled to a higher (WRC), NASCAR and Super GT championships are
resolution. available, as well as the driving licenses from previous
games.There are over 70 tracks to race on, divided
Polyphony Digital once stated in an interview that GT4’s amongst 26 different locations around the world. These
cars were approximately 4,000 polygons, whereas GT5’s range from real-life circuits such as Dunsfold Park,
are around 500,000.As a consequence, Standard models Germany’s Nurburgring and even the Top Gear Test
look noticeably ropey when racing against Premium Track, whereas fictional fan-favourites such as Trial
rivals. Furthermore, they lack any interiors (so no Mountain make a welcome return. Add in the fact
cockpit view or transparent windows) and are limited in that many tracks have Night/Day cycles and dynamic
terms of customisation (so you can’t ‘Pimp Yo’ Ride’, so weather (rain) and you end up with a hell of a lot of
to speak). Because these cars were never modelled with variety. There’s even a track editor if you want to make
damage in mind, bumps and scrapes result in damaged your own, just don’t go expecting ModNation levels of
textures, but no deformation. For these reasons, it is customisation.
strongly advisable to purchase or win a Premium car as Indeed, so much content can seem overwhelming at
early as you can and stick with it wherever possible. first, especially for newcomers. This is, by far and wide,
Polyphony Digital’s biggest title to date. It is perhaps sad
In a controversial design decision, damage is not available then that it is lambasted by its own lofty ambitions, as
from the start. As mentioned earlier, both A-Spec and the disparity between Standard and Premium cars jar
B-Spec modes have their own independent XP bars. You against the five-year development time. Similarly, with so
must first reach Level 20 to unlock basic damage, with much work put into the damage system, the most highly-
the effects becoming increasingly pronounced as you requested feature since the first game, it is unsettling
approach the cap of 40. It’s probably worth mentioning at that it is not integral from the moment you first start
this point that levelling up is a very gradual process and your engines.
one that will require a considerable amount of grinding Ultimately, Gran Turismo 5 does almost everything
to complete. It seems bizarre that a game touting itself as that was promised from the get-go and it would be
‘The Real Driving Simulator’ wouldn’t have these options hard-pressed to not meet any race fans’ requirements,
available from the start to encourage steady, tactical no matter how decisive. Bursting with content features
racing rather than allowing players to speed into barriers and near-infinite depth, Polyphony Digital’s vehicular
(and each other) without fear of retribution. epic is a worthy addition to the franchise, maintaining its
reputation as a powerful stalwart of the genre.
When it works, however, it really works and the
Words: Adam Taylor

41
Game review
Super Meat Boy
Developer: Team Meat
Publisher: Team Meat
Platform: XBox 360, PC

So, you’re made of meat. Your arch nemesis is a for the [Adult Swim] generation; the fact that your
fetus in a jar with a penchant for top hats, and your girlfriend is made of plasters and that your nemesis
girlfriend is made of bandages... seems like your only isn’t even in his second first trimester (yet still rocks a
option is to star in a computer game. monocle) only adds to the charm of the game. Without
explanation, the game is suitable for children. With
Let’s not mince words here… Super Meat Boy is explanation, it’s a riot for adults. How many games
brilliant. This little nugget began on the internet offer that?
simply as ‘Meat Boy, a flash game on ‘Newgrounds’
in 2008 but by 2010 it can count nearly 8 million ‘Meat While it has a childish charm, this game is tough. If
Boy’ converts. The brainchild of Edmund MacMillen you want to complete it all, you will have to devote a
and John McEntee it became the mascot for indie small portion of your life to it, and be prepared to go
games company ‘Team Meat’, and so a second serving to bed each night knowing you failed.
has been dished up to us, the hungry and adoring
public. Okay, so it doesn’t have the flashy graphics and The game itself is comprised of 7 chapters, each
the cool gimmicks of every other game on the market. having a minimum of twenty five individual stages.
But It isn’t aiming higher than it can reach. It simply Complete these with an ‘A+’ rating and you unlock
promises good, challenging game-play, with a bit of an alternative ‘dark-world’ version. Each has its own
retrospect for those nostalgic gamers who yearn for theme, its own enemies, and its own secrets (more
something with a bit of substance. on that later). The various challenges range from
little meat clones that run at you and copy your every
To begin with, it’s straightforward. This is a case move until you collide and die (and you WILL die a
of boy has girl, boy loses girl, boy goes to get girl lot) to more obvious traps like pits, buzz-saws, lasers,
back. It’s old school Mario, with quirkier characters and spikes. There is also a boss encounter of sorts

42 December 2010 – The 2010 Issue

at the end of each chapter, such as a race against a And so we come to the characters.
doppelganger, or avoiding being crushed under the Super Meat Boy’ is probably one of few games that
heels of the doctors rampaging mech. It’s simple selflessly promote the work of other ‘indie’ games,
platform fodder, but when you play it makes you by incorporating signature characters into the game,
realize what’s missing from modern gaming; there’s making them playable, and often necessary (for those
too much time perhaps on the cutting edge graphics who don’t know characters like ‘Gish’, ‘Commander
and detailed story, and not really developing the Video’ and ‘Flywrench’, you may want to start
actual gaming aspects that make platform games looking them up on Google, as they each deserve to
such fun. be reviewed at great length). With a rich and unique
cast, there is a roster of 24 characters; although certain
ALL THE TRIMMINGS characters are restricted to various consoles. You may
get ‘Spelunky’ (of the self titled game: See our review
There is also the hidden content. Warp zones can of the little game that could), but you only on Xbox
be found on certain stages if you’re quick enough, 360 while ‘RunMan’ (a favourite of mine from his own
and these lead to extra levels that usually replicate a self titled game – Runman: Race around the world)
style of game that you may be familiar with. Always is a PC exclusive. There is a rumour that a certain
introduced with a faux-pas ‘Gameboy’ load screen, mustachioed plumber will make it into the WiiWare
we get everything from old style NES action to the version. However, the cast you are given is extensive,
actual green and black of the original handheld itself. and each has a unique ability; flight, sticking to
These levels offer opportunity for more challenge, and surfaces, even rewinding time; you can switch between
other secrets within the game. them to reach certain areas that were previously
inaccessible, giving even more playability. Some
The controls themselves are fairly basic. Run, jump, characters are earned by retrieving a certain number
and slide down walls, or leap from them to other of bandages, which will then unlock them, while
walls. The objective of each stage is to reach your others have their own hidden warp-zones, which need
girlfriend who will be concealed somewhere on the to be completed before they can be played. Some are
stage, until she is swept away by the diabolical Dr. relatively easy, some will make you break down and
Fetus. It’s traditional gaming fare; dodge this, avoid cry. I lost eight hours playing one stage of one zone,
that, collect this, open that… but this can obviously be and I swear I still haven’t completed it, but I can’t stop
tricky. myself from going back

Words:Daniel McKay

43
Game review
Prince of Persia Trilogy 3D (Classics HD)
Developer: Ubisoft Montreal
Publisher: Ubisoft
Platform: PlayStation 3
Originally released in 2003, Prince of Persia: The techniques to navigate, and will see you jumping gaps,
Sands of Time dropkicked the Prince of Persia swinging from poles, climbing ledges and shimmying
franchise into the (at the time) next generation with up pillars, as well as the series-trademark wall-
a full rebooting of the story and a shift into the third running. Occasionally you will be required to solve
dimension. A year later, it was joined by a direct an environmental puzzle to proceed, and generally
sequel, Warrior Within, and again in 2005 with three- speaking these are smartly designed and well thought-
quel; The Two Thrones. Collectively it became known out (compared to the irritating ‘go here, pull lever’
as the ‘Sands of Time Trilogy’, garnering universal faux-puzzles that are typically rife across the genre),
acclaim from fans and critics alike. although usually require a bit of examination and
Five years on, the fabled trilogy has made its return thought before leaping into action.
to the (now) current gen, joining the God of War Players will also be expected to traverse deadly
Collection as part of Sony’s ‘Classics HD’ line-up. As trap-filled corridors, featuring all manner of death-
with God of War, the games themselves are direct inducing torture devices. Circular saws, rotating
ports of their PS2 predecessors with the resolution blades, guillotines, scythe-pillars, floor spikes…all
nicely bumped up to crisp 720p HD standards, as guaranteed to reduce the Prince to a simpering,
well as a couple of additional enhancements such as bleeding mess. Despite Sands of Time’s light-hearted
trophy support. Arguably the biggest change is that vibe and vibrant visuals, it won’t be long before you
all three titles have been retrofitted with support for realise just how much of the kingdom of Azad is out to
Stereoscopic 3D, allowing those with fancy 3DTV’s to kill you. Violently. And that’s before even getting to
bring the games to life in a way never seen before. the combat.
All three games are squeezed onto a single Blu-ray All is not stabbings and skewerings though. The
disc, or available individually on the PlayStation game throws you a bone in the form of Sand Powers.
Network. As the wielder of the Dagger of Time, the Prince
has the ability to reverse time if he finds himself in
The Sands of Time HD a compromising position (falling down a ravine, cut
in half by a spinning scythe blade, under an enemy
The first entry in the trilogy opens with the titular sword etc.). It’s a brilliant dynamic that works
Prince narrating the events that prelude the game. perfectly with the game’s trial-and-error gameplay,
As the son of the king of Persia, King Shahraman, allowing you to undo your mistakes as you progress.
you (simply known as ‘Prince’) march alongside your Mistimed a wall-run? Jumped off a ledge in the wrong
father during Persia’s conquest of India. You are aided direction? Simply hold down L1 and watch the events
by the Maharaja of India’s Vizier (simply known as reel backwards until you’re safe again.Of course,
‘Vizier’) who betrays his ruler in exchange for a part time reversal comes at a cost. With every blunder you
of the newly-conquered kingdom. After the palace nullify, the dagger will consume a sand tank. Once
falls to Persia’s siege, several artifacts are recovered you’re empty, there’s no going back. To refill these
among the riches; namely an ornate dagger, the tanks, you’re going to need to extract some sand from
Dagger of Time, and a giant hourglass containing the the local residents.
Sands of Time. Combat is based on one constant principle; you
Upon returning home to Azad, the celebrations are cut can’t kill your enemies conventionally. Just hacking
short as you are tricked into unleashing the Sands of away isn’t going to cut it here, you’ll need to wear
Time using the Dagger, killing everyone in a ten mile them down with sword attacks (Square), then when
radius (fortunately, the dagger spares your life) and they’re down, impale them with the Dagger of Time
transforming their bodies into raging sand monsters. (Triangle) to absorb them. Leave them on the floor
It is left up to you to reverse the damage you’ve long enough and they’ll regenerate, back on their
done, extracting the sands back into the dagger and feet before you know it. This one tenet forms the
returning them to the hourglass. Naturally, the forces underlying structure of all the combat, and while it’s
of evil are one step ahead and have the hourglass easy enough to deal with a couple of enemies, it’s not
whisked away to the top of a distant tower, leaving until you’re mobbed by six or seven at once that you’ll
you to battle through puzzles, traps and legions of the find yourself keeping mental track of who’s about to
sandy dead. keel over when, and who you need to absorb before
Sands of Time’s gameplay is divided into several they get a second wind.
cohesive styles. Environments require several
44 December 2010 – The 2010 Issue
Aiding you on your quest is the Maharaja’s daughter, Along with the dark themes and pounding
Farah, who was kindly taken captive by yourself soundtrack, combat gets a real shot of adrenaline.
during the siege. She will assist with ranged attacks Instead of the slash-and-absorb combat of its
during battles, provided you keep her out of harm’s predecessor, Warrior Within allows you to dual-wield
way. Numerous puzzles can only be solved with her weapons. Aside from your main sword (Square), you
assistance, and you will often find yourselves taking also get the option of a sub-weapon (Triangle), pilfered
turns moving platforms or pulling switches to complete from a fallen enemy or a weapon rack. Sub-weapons
each other’s paths. There is a decent level of banter are powerful temporary weapons that degrade with
between the two, and surprisingly, genuine character every swipe, urging you to use them to wipe out foes,
chemistry. Rather than fulfilling what could’ve been before picking up their weapons as replacements to
typical gender roles of the fearlessly tough manly-man continue the slaughter. Creating combos with swift
and the helplessly sassy love interest, both Farah and sword attacks and heavy sub blows will allow you to
the Prince display vulnerability and reliance on one inflict some serious pain on your adversaries. You can
another, despite being, essentially, strangers. also throw the sub-weapon with Circle, and there is
Of the three titles on the disc, Sands of Time is the nothing more satisfying than throwing an axe just
oldest. It is therefore understandable that the graphics before it’s about to break, only to pitilessly decapitate
look fairly dated, even by PS2 standards. Character an oncoming enemy, causing him to drop his.
models in particular look especially polygonal, and Whereas Sands of Time followed a linear path of
you can expect to see the same combat animations puzzle rooms and corridors, Warrior Within mixes
repeated over and over. It is also a shame that the things up with a central-hub-based non-linear
camera issues that bugged the original are still structure. All locations can be visited in two iterations;
present. You can expect the camera to move about past and present, with the Prince switching between
during combat, while never getting a decent view of the two periods by way of conveniently-placed Time
the action. I frequently found myself having to take Portals. If an area is impassable, simply move to the
manual control (and my thumb off the face buttons) other time to find an alternative path. If a bridge has
because it had clipped through scenery, or got too crumbled in the present, it may be fresh in the past.
close when surrounded by a large group. I also noticed Past or present, the Dahaka has not given up its
a couple of audio glitches, with dead enemies still search for you. Between the usual puzzles and
making noise long after they had fallen to my blades. combat-heavy sections, it will burst into action and
make chase. During these sequences there is no
Warrior Within HD margin for error as you jump, roll and wall-run
away from instant doom, often forced to make snap
Set seven years after the events of Sands of Time, we decisions as to how to proceed. Spend more than a
rejoin the Prince in a time of peril. After unleashing couple of seconds pondering and the Dahaka will make
the Sands of Time in the first game, the Prince finds you it’s next hot meal. Of course, the Sand Powers
himself ruthlessly hunted by the guardian of the from the previous game are still in place, allowing you
timeline, the Dahaka. The introductory cinematic sets to rewind the action in case you slip up.
the scene perfectly; with a now-battle-hardened Prince Warrior Within boasts sharper visuals than its
being pursued through city streets by a giant horned predecessor. Models and textures are more defined,
beast made of black sand. both gaining an additional boost from the resolution
In a bid to change his fate, the Prince decides to travel upgrade. Similarly, animations are much more fluid;
to the Island of Time, in order to travel back in time to watching the Prince roll out of the way of an attack or
convince the (wait for it) Empress of Time not to make running up a wall before sveltely backflipping is now a
the Sands of Time, thus preventing the Prince from thing of beauty. This augments the gameplay nicely as
ever releasing them in the present. En route to the stringing together moves flows naturally and adds to
island, the Prince’s ship is attacked and sunk, with the the immersion.
Prince himself as the sole survivor, washed up on the It’s unfortunate that, despite numerous improvements
shores of the Island of Time. in various areas, Warrior Within still feels like a step
From the get-go, you can see that Ubisoft Montreal backwards. All the charisma of the first game has
tried to take the series in a different direction. The been replaced with a clichéd smouldering rage. All the
vivid, organic locations of the first game are largely dialogue that made Sands of Time memorable is sadly
replaced with gothic-infused fortresses, gloomy replaced with stiff one-liners and stereotypical drawl.
temples and murky dungeons. The Arabian muzak The previously unique combat is now much more
has been substituted with bass-heavy guitar riffs, traditionally hack’n’slash.
courtesy of American metal band Godsmack.The Warrior Within is not a bad game by any means, but
Prince himself, previously witty and happy-go-lucky, it substitutes the traditional charm of the series for
has been moulded into a brooding badass; with all a more by-the-numbers combat-focused experience,
previous positivity eroded after years of being stalked which has been done bigger and better elsewhere.
by the Dahaka. Whereas Farah was smart and sharp,
new love-interest, Kaileena, is every 14-year-old goth’s
masturbatory fantasy; a sultry vampiress-type with
impossible levitating cleavage and a penchant for
blades.

45
The Two Thrones HD Where The Two Thrones does excel is its storyline,
with a much greater focus on character interaction
If Sands of Time is the ‘light half’ of the trilogy, outstaying its welcome. The internal repartee between
and Warrior Within is the ‘dark half’, then The Two the Prince and the Dark Prince can be genuinely
Thrones aims to strike a balance between the two. funny at times, with the Dark Prince frequently
Maintaining the combat system established in Warrior taking the sardonic route through the dialogue as
Within and the linear adventure style of Sands of a means of one-upmanship. It certainly fills in the
Time, Two Thrones almost feels like Ubisoft Montreal silence during the now-familiar platforming and
have tried to create a genetically modified wonder- rinkling of new moves in order to tackle Babylon’s
child, taking the best elements from each and splicing terrain.
them together with some extras on top. Overall, the Prince of Persia Trilogy 3D has really
Returning home victorious from the Islands of Time, earned its ‘Classicsmoniker. All three titles’ gameplay
the Prince finds his kingdom of Babylon in ruin. styles stand up to modern day measures, and while
Conquered by an old nemesis, the Prince discovers the combat isn’t as fluid or versatile as God of War’s,
the presence of an old foe, the Vizier, a product of the blend of puzzles, level navigation and inter-
a self-inflicted time paradox. In his bid to correct character dialogue definitely hoists it above most
past mistakes, the Prince has also undone many of action-adventure titles. It is slightly disappointing
the good deeds from the first game and now must that Ubisoft couldn’t iron out the pre-existing
confront them once and for all.However, the Prince glitches for this re-release, as minor as they are. More
has also become infected by the Sands of Time, unfortunate is that, while the God of WarCollection is
causing an evil persona to manifest within him. locked at a buttery-smooth 60fps, the Prince of Persia
Early on you realise that you’re never truly alone, Trilogy 3D only manages to stretch to 30fps, even
as a haunting secondary voice narrates your darker with Stereoscopic 3D disabled. Not only would this
thoughts. The Sands of Time, it seems, have bonded have been an advantage to animation, but also to the
with the Prince’s darker psyche (see; Warrior Within) smoothness of the action-based gameplay which the
to create a split-personality. While the Prince is more trilogy delivers in spades.
upbeat than his previous incarnation, the second
voice, the Dark Prince, will attempt to lure out the By and large you’d be hard-pressed to find better
murkier elements of your quest; dwelling on vengeance value for money than the Prince of Persia Trilogy 3D.
and retaliation. Interestingly, this leads to some At £29.99, I was treated to three 15-hour adventures,
provocative (and occasionally amusing) discourse each of which boast a reasonable amount of replay
between the two halves, as they both try to rationalise value through difficulty levels, collectibles and
their own actions while discrediting each other’s. trophies. While it lacks the current –gen graphical
Occasionally the darkness will take hold, and the polish and lighting effects, compared to the recent
Prince will transform into a shadowy Super Saiyan- trend of 6-hour campaigns offset with shallow
esque character, equipped with a bladed whip known multiplayer this is an absolute bargain. While anyone
as the Daggertail, allowing you to rend your enemies who was turned off by the PS2 offerings should
in half with relative ease. Combat becomes much really look elsewhere (unless the boost to HD really
easier, as the combos flow against multiple enemies means that much to you), it is hard not to recommend
and area-of-effect attacks are more commonplace. the collection to both existing franchise fans and
In a new addition to the series, both the Prince and his newcomers who missed them the first time around.
dark half are capable of ‘speed kills’; covert attacks Despite the few previously nagging glitches still
made possible through Two Thrones’ new stealth lingering,and the lack of polish found in the God of
system. Approach an enemy from behind without his War Collection, its fusion of tactical combat, flowing
allies spotting you and the Prince will enter a crouched exploration, inventive puzzles and overarching plot
state. From here you can launch into a beautifully- means the Prince of Persia Trilogy 3Dhas earned its
choreographed quick-time event death-dance. The rightful place in any respectable gamer’s collection.
tougher the rival, the more QTE presses are required, And in Stereoscopic 3D no less.
and while the timing is quite severe, the sense of
reward is immense as you bring a dangerous opponent Words: Adam Taylor
to their knees before plunging the Dagger of Time into at all three titles have been retrofitted with support for
their sandy heart. Stereoscopic 3D, allowing those with fancy 3DTV’s to
This new system lets you approach most situations in bring the games to life in a way never seen before.
two ways. You can wade in with blades bared, hacking All three games are squeezed onto a single Blu-ray
and gouging your way to victory. Alternatively you disc, or available individually on the PlayStation
can take the high road and attempt to position yourself Network.
in a perfect sneak attack position. The game never
forces one way over another, and the player is free The Sands of Time HD
to make their own decisions on how to deal with a
situation, although it is usually preferable to take out The first entry in the trilogy opens with the titular
the biggest baddie with a stealth kill before tackling
his peers. Sadly, the amount of Sand Powers has been
reduced to a measly three, limiting you to reversing or
slowing time, or releasing a shockwave to knock down
your adversaries.
R
ED is an espionage action film which has been
adapted from a comic book series. The film
follows the life of a recently retired man called
Frank Moses (Bruce Willis); who one night is targeted
by a government hit squad under the guise that he is
Retired and Extremely Dangerous. Discovering that
this is not a case of mistaken identity, Frank sets out on
a quest the find the truth. On the way he enlists help
from old friends and foes.

I’m glad to say that Bruce Willis plays his character in

the relaxed comical yet melancholy style we have come
to know over the years. Watching Bruce Willis in a film
is like ordering a fillet steak at a restaurant, every one’s
little different but you know you’ll be happy with the
meal, unlike the person who’s staring blankly into the
fish platter that they ordered, heads and all.

As Frank sets out on his journey the first familiar face

he meets is and old friend called Joe, played eloquently
as always by Morgan Freeman. Before long Frank has
to seek out another old acquaintance played by John
Malkovich, called Marvin. Marvin is a retired agent
who lives constantly on guard against everything and
anything, but in the middle of nowhere. He is also
insane; a result of past military LSD experiments. For
me, Marvin steals the show. John Malkovich plays a
brilliantly mad person who’s also very good at his job.
His facial expressions when his is at the back of a scene
are very funny. Eventually they hook up with another
old friend, a former MI6 agent called Victoria, played
by Helen Mirren. Victoria is never far away from a big
gun. Her crowning scene is whilst wearing an elegant
white evening gown, she drills open a few cars with
a Gatling gun then proceeds to very smoothly hold
off the secret service with a sub machine gun without
blinking and with such grace, poise and gentility she
will replace the 1986 Belinda Carlisle with a potted
plant pin up I keep in my head. Forget Trinity from the
Matrix or Alice from Resident Evil, there’s only one lady
you’ll need now in times of peril, ‘Helen Mirren with a
machine gun’.

Frank also comes across a few other old acquaintances.

I was very pleased to see Ernest Borgnine back on the
big screen, so much so I’ve had to type his name in bold.
And what espionage film would be complete without a
Russian, played by Brian Cox. His “let the past be the
past, let’s have some vodka” character fits very well with
the film.

As the story develops, Frank is also relentlessly pursued

by a younger agent who was once not unlike himself,
(blinded by duty); played intensively by Karl Urban.

When I started writing this review, I didn’t plan on

highlighting the characters and the actors who played
them too much; but each one of them greatly radiates
their on screen presence and yet harmonises with the
others. It’s almost like they were been conducted by
Robert Schwentke rather than directed.

48 December 2010 – The 2010 Issue