Demons on the Boat Metaphor
Imagine you’re steering a boat out at sea. And there are all these big, scary, ugly demons that live beneath
the deck. And they’ve made a deal with you: As long as you drift aimlessly out at sea, they’ll stay beneath
the deck, so you don’t have to look at them. So, this is okay for a while. But then you see all these other
boats, heading toward the shore. And you know that’s where you really want to go. You’ve got maps and
plans and there are places you want to see. So, you pluck up courage and you turn the boat and head
toward the shore.
But the instant the boat changes direction, all the demons rush up from below the decks and threaten to
tear you to pieces. And they look mean. And they’re huge. Razor-sharp teeth. Massive horns. Enormous
claws. And they say, “We’re going to tear you to shreds. We’re going to rip you to pieces.” So, you’re
terrified. And you go, “Whoa! Sorry, demons!” And you turn the boat around and head back out to sea. As
soon as the boat is drifting aimlessly once more, the demons disappear. You go “Phew!” and breathe a sigh
of relief.
And for a while, it’s okay, drifting without any direction. But then you see all those other boats heading
toward the shore. And you look down at your maps and your plans. And you know where you really want
to go. So you pluck up courage, turn the boat, and the instant that your boat changes direction, the
demons are back. Huge teeth, huge claws: “We’re going to kill you!”
Now here’s the thing: although these demons have been threatening to kill you your whole life, they’ve
never actually harmed you. That’s because they can’t. They have no capacity to harm you. All they can do
is threaten you. And as long as you believe that they’re going to do the things they say they’re going to do,
they’ve got control of the boat.
So, armed with this knowledge, if heading toward the shore really matters, what do you need to do? (Elicit
response from the client.) Right! You need to keep your hands on the wheel and keep heading toward the
shore. The demons will then gather round and try to intimidate you. But that’s all they can do. And as you
let them gather around, you’ll be able to get a good look at them in direct sunlight. And you’ll realize that
they’re nowhere near as big and nasty as they appeared; they were using special effects to make
themselves seem ten times their real size.
You’ll also discover that many of these demons are actually very useful and helpful. They know some really
useful stuff. If you allow them to hang around and get to know them, you’ll find many of them will change
their tune, and become your natural allies. You’ll find they can give you good advice about where the
danger spots are out at sea, and warning signs in the weather, and problems inside your ship that need to
be addressed. And as you keep your hands on that wheel, heading toward the shore, you notice that
there’s an entire boat here. And there’s the sky, and the sea, and the sun, and the wind—and fish, and
birds, and other ships; there’s a whole world out there to explore and appreciate, not just these demons.
And notice that no matter how far you are from the shore, the instant you turn that wheel, you’re on an
adventure; you’re instantly moving in the direction you want to go, instead of drifting aimlessly.
If the client suggests throwing the demons overboard, we reply:
Therapist: But there’s an infinite number of demons. No matter how many you throw overboard, more will
come. And while you’re trying to get rid of them, who’s steering the boat? It could crash on the rocks or
capsize. If the client suggests jumping overboard, we reply: Therapist: Unfortunately, you can’t. The sea is
full of killer sharks.
You can now use this metaphor to assist with creative hopelessness (trying to throw the demons
overboard); acceptance (allowing the demons to gather around); defusion (seeing them in broad daylight,
seeing through the special effects); valued directions (heading to shore); committed action (keeping your
hands on the wheel); contacting the present moment (noticing the sea, sky, wind, sun, and so on); and
even the observing self (you are not the boat or the demons).
Thus, for a defusion technique, you might name the demons—for example, the “I can’t do it” demon, the
“I’ve wasted my life, and now it’s too late” demon, or the “you won’t like it when you get there” demon.
For acceptance, you can ask the client, “If heading toward the shore is what matters, are you willing to let
the demons gather around?” Or you might say, “Which demon is controlling the boat now?” Once it has
been named, you could say, “So how about we take a look at this demon in broad daylight?” and then lead
into a defusion or acceptance exercise.
