Waiting for you in the city

Chapter 1
In the early morning 04:00 a.m., The emergency hall is so peaceful and
quiet.
Xu Qin is wearing her doctor’s coat and walks over from the main hall with
her hands inside her pocket.
The sanitation worker is holding a mop, she is dipping the mop on the
bucket full of disinfectant. Then she wipes the bloodied floor with great
energy.
Xu Qin is unfocused, she just regains herself by the time she passes that
sanitation worker. The sanitation worker has no time to dodge from her.
The mop, which is smeared with blood, covers Xu Qin’s shoes.
The sanitation worker apologizes quickly: “I’m sorry, Xu Yi Sheng (Doctor
Xu). I’m sorry.” She says it and immediately takes a rag to wipe it.
Xu Qin is quick, she stops the sanitation worker to kneel down to wipe her
shoes. “No need, it’s okay.”
“But……”
Xu Qin cuts her off gently: “It’s my mistake. I make a trouble for you.”
The sanitation worker feels even more abashed when she hears her
words. “What are you talking about? If not, let me help you to clean this.”
Xu Qin once again stops her and smiles faintly: “I could do it by myself.”
The sanitation worker feels guilty but thankful: “Xu Yi Sheng, you are a
good person.”
Xu Qin continues to walk forward.
The sanitation worker holds the mop tightly and examines the back figure
of Xu Qin. Xu Qin is tall and slender, with her doctor’s coat, she looks even
more beautiful and elegant. Her hair is tied in a ponytail.
The sanitation worker hesitates for a moment and calls after her: “Xu Yi
Sheng!”
Xu Qin stops walking and turns her head: “Em?”
1
“The patient before, is he okay?” The young sanitation worker says and
peeks at the blood on the floor.
This moment the emergency hall is quiet, it’s too peaceful; who knows
this place is full of cries and howls before.
Xu Qin says: “He is okay now.”
The sanitation worker smiles brightly: “It’s great. Xu Yi Sheng.” She bows
down toward Xu Qin: “You should go through a great trouble to save him.”
Xu Qin nods lightly as her reply toward her, then she turns her body to
leave.
At 04:00 a.m., the deepest night.
The light on the hospital corridor is so dim, the air is filled with life and
death scent. It is depressing and bitter. It seems impossible to get rid of it.
Xu Qin’s hands are used to be stuffed in her pocket. She passes the
desolate corridor and gets into her office room. She looks down at her
dirty shoes and shows her disgust to it. She frowns and feels it is so
disgusted. The muddy water and that blood feel as if they could penetrate
to the inside of her shoes, it even seeps into her instep.
Xu Qin sits down quickly and takes off her shoes. She throws it to the bin.
Her socks are still clean, yet she ignores it and takes it off too. She
immediately throws it to the rubbish bin. She opens up her drawer and
pulls out a wet tissue. She wipes her foot and stops till it turns red.
Xu Qin’s mood just calms down, she tries hard to control her breath. She
throws away the tissue and opens up her cupboard. She changes into her
spare shoes then goes to the vanity unit. She switches on the tap and
uses the soap to wash clean her both hands. She does that for three
times.
Xu Qin does all of that in order. Then she picks out her phone out of her
pocket. It’s just 04:10 a.m., the sky is still dark outside from what she sees
from the office window.
The emergency department is so quiet like tonight would pass so calmly.
She has a missed call and a message, both of them are coming from Meng
Yan Chen. “On the weekend come back home.”
2
Xu Qin could see her tired black eyes on the screen. She has already
worked continuously for 22 hours. She feels numb.
She puts the phone back and then her finger knocks lightly on the
cigarette box and lighter that she had in her pocket. She glances at the
warning sign “Please do not smoke”.
She looks at it fo a while, then she smiles. She stands up and goes to the
balcony.
Xu Qin leans on the fence and on the dark night, she lights on one
cigarette.
When she just enjoys half of her cigarette, she could hear someone calls
after her: “Yi Sheng!”
Xu Qin stands up and throws away her cigarette, she closes the balcony
door. Then she goes inside to wash her hands three times again. The time
she switches off the tap, a sloppy man with ashy clothes come inside: “Yi
Sheng, please help!”
Xu Qin examines her and notices that this man is not injured: “What is
your problem?”
That square-faced man is out of breath, he waves his hand: “Not me, my
Xiong Di (Friend/ Brother), he—“
The time he is still explaining, around three to four messy-looking men
come inside the room. Their body are full of smoke and sweat scent. That
group of men are wearing a standardized army green vest and trousers.
All of them are tall and muscly. They are covered with ash.
That square-face man tries to control his breath and points at a man
behind him; Xu Qin looks over, she couldn’t know for sure which man is he
pointing to.
“He, his tooth is aching so badly.”
Xu Qin stops: “Toothache?”
The square-face man is still pointing: “Yi Sheng, come over and take a
look at him….”

3
Xu Qin cuts him off: “In the emergency department, we don’t have
department of dentistry, you guys should go to the outpatient clinic to
register.”
“But the outpatient clinic is still close at this time.”
Xu Qin: “Then wait till it’s open then you guys could go there.”
Xu Qin goes to her own chair and sits down. She lifts up her head and
looks at the group of men, who are still watching her.
At that moment, Xu Qin looks at the ‘sick’ man around the group. He is
wearing a surgical mask. His eyebrows are thick. He is also watching her,
his gaze is keen and bright.
With just a gaze, Xu Qin could see that he is completely different from
those men around him.
Xu Qin looks at him without any fear: “Could you hear me? We don’t have
any dentist here, you should go to outpatient clinic.”
He doesn’t say anything;
Anyway that square-face man is so worried that he starts to get
temperamental. He says furiously: “Now the outpatient clinic is still close,
what should we do?”
Xu Qin: “Bear with it.”
“You!” That square-face man clutches his fist and bites his lips. “Then give
him a bit of painkiller.”
Xu Qin leans back on her chair and stuffs her hands inside her pocket. “I
couldn’t prescribe it here.”
“Why couldn’t you prescribe it? You are a doctor, you should know it could
kill someone when having a toothache?!”
Xu Qin answers calmly: “It wouldn’t kill him.”
That square-face man thinks that she is provoking him, he raises his
voice: “What’s up with your attitude?”
Xu Qin looks at him. “I am answering your unreasonable demand
patiently.”
That square-face man is so angry: “I think you are….”

4
One of the older man pulls that man back, he tries to smooth thing over
by explaining: “Yi Sheng, there should be misunderstanding. We are not
only coming over because of the toothache. It’s not because of the
decayed tooth. But during our work, our Xiong Di is hurt. He bumped and
hurt his teeth. Could you take a look…..”Then that man wants to take off
the ‘sick’ man’s surgical mask.
Xu Qin lowers her head and opens up her own case file. “Don’t take it off.
I’m not a dentist. I couldn’t check it.”
“Could you give him a bit of painkiller? To stop the pain.”
Xu Qin closes the file: “I couldn’t. How many times should I tell you about
it?”
Hearing that, the square-face man couldn’t control his feeling any longer.
He takes a large stride and points at Xu Qin. “Do you believe that I–“
“Yang Chi!” A cold voice calls after that square-face man. It’s from that
‘sick’ man with a surgical mask.
That voice is low and patient. It sounds different, Xu Qin unconsciously
lifts up her head and looks at him.
That eyes are looking at her too.
He stands up: “Sorry to disturb you.”
Xu Qin says nothing.
The ‘sick’ man with a surgical mask comes forward and stops. He asks:
“What time is the outpatient clinic open?”
Xu Qin: “08.00 a.m.”
That man: “Thank you.”
Xu Qin: “No need.”
That man stands up and just walks out, Yang Chi is unhappy and follows
him out: “Song Dui (Leader Song), this—“
Song Yan has came out.
All of the men are following them to go out, Yang Chi is so furious. He
points at Xu Qin and goes out with angry steps.
…..

5
Yang Chi chases after Song Yan and friends. He is still full of anger: “That
Yi Sheng (Doctor) is really disgusting, I really want to sue her. When I just
got into the door, I saw there’s a customer’s book on the right side. Jiang
Yi, follow me.”
Jiang Yi sighs: “I’m afraid that it’s useless to sue her. This is the third-level
military hospital. Without any family background, no one could work here.
That woman should be someone with a strong background.
Song Yan goes down the flight of steps and takes off his surgical mask,
then he spits out little bloodied saliva to the trash bin.
Jiang Yi: “Song Dui, are you okay? If you couldn’t bear it, should we give a
call to the higher commander?”
Song Yan: “It’s okay, let’s go.”
Yang Chi stands on the flight of stairs and doesn’t move. He thinks about
it and decides to return: “No, I think I should go and appeal to her again.”
Song Yan calls after him. “Let it be.”
Yang Chi is unwilling to budge: “No, I am so furious to remember that.
Whether it is useless or not, I also want to sue her.”
Song Yan speaks up once more: “I tell you to let it be.”
Yang Chi doesn’t listen to him and turns his back to run inside.
Song Yan: “D*mm*t, you want to resist my order?”
Yang Chi stops. His body is leaning forward.
Song Yan: “Stop and stand well! — Stand at attention!”
Yang Chi stands up straight.
Song Yan says: “Let’s go back.”
Yang Chi runs down the stairway.
In the deep night, the road is empty. There’s a fire engine in the opposite
of the hospital.
Jiang Yi comes forward and wants to say something
Song Yan frowns and just waves his hand impatiently. Jiang Yi stands
straight, gives him a respect. Then he follows Yang Chi.

6
Song Yan stands there for a while. He uses his surgical mask to wipe his
dirty face. He accidentally touches his cheek. He breaths in a breath. He
bares the toothache he has. Then he spits out a blood again.
D*mn, this is too painful!
Song Yan looks back at Xu Qin’s office room for a while. Then he looks
forward.
Jiang Yi just gets on the car, Yang Chi asks him: “Why do I feel there’s
something strange with Song Dui?”
Jiang Yi: “What do you mean?”
Yang Chi: “With his temper, if it’s in the usual situation, he wouldn’t act
that way.”
Jiang Yi: “The doctor is a woman.”
Yang Chi objects that kind of reasoning; “Song Dui is frank and
dominating. — supposedly he wouldn’t be too polite with a woman too.–
supposedly because he sees that woman is beautiful.”
The time they are talking, Song Yan suddenly gets on the car then he just
slaps Yang Chi’s head.
Yang Chi immediately hold his head with his hands and begs for mercy:
“I’ll shut up!”
Song Yan: “Start driving.”
The red color fire engine starts to move.
The road is clear, the street lamps look splendid.
Song Yan places his hand on the window, between his fingers, he holds
the cigarette. He looks back and notices that his Xiong Di Men (Brothers)
are still sleeping. He just smokes.
He recalls the moment at the hospital.
He recalls the way she looks. She just looks like what she was that year.
Song Yan never expected that she is back, moreover, she doesn’t
recognize him anymore.
He, in a flash it’s already ten years.

Chapter 2
7
After she gets off work, Xu Qin goes to the outpatient department of burn
surgery on the ninth floor of the building to look for Professor Xu Ken. Last
night during the surgery, she encountered a little doubt, she wants to find
the professor to consult.
In the morning 08:00 a.m. Xu Ken is not at the hospital.
Xu Qin asks the nurse and just realizes that she remembers the wrong
date. Professor Xu Ken is always off on Saturday. She though that today is
Friday — Recently she always be so tired. Xu Qin rubs her nose with force.
Then she goes to the elevator. The time she passes the cleaner room, she
accidentally hears her own name.
“I heard that the time Xu Qin returns back from emergency department,
she would be promote to be a resident physician.” That voice belongs to
Yang Si Jia. She and Xu Qin entered the hospital at the same time. They
were intern before and be promoted to the hospital doctor.
“What?! resident physician?” Zhu Xian is their senior, she clearly sounds
unhappy: “Why? Just because she studied abroad in the US? She just be
here for few years, does she have enough experience?”
“So she is sent to the emergency department, I guess it is done for fooling
people. Indeed. — The time she is done, she would be the resident
physician. It’s not to proper, but no one would find a fault with it, it only
makes an exception.” Yang Si Jia washes her hands and looks at Zhu Xian
with eyes that full of pity. “I feel it should be your turn. You are older than
her, you are more experienced that her. But there’s no way because her
family is her behind-the-scenes supporter.”
Zhu Xian snorts and says: “Everyone could find a connection. Everyone
that could get in here has a bit of connections.”
Yang Si Jia shakes her head: “Oh, but her family background is not
ordinary. I heard that her family name is Meng, because she doesn’t want
to make it public, she changes her family name.”
“MENG?'” Zhu Xian hesitates for a while: “The chief of staff’s….
daughter?”
Yang Si Jia shrugs her shoulder.
8
Zhu Xian says nothing and just gives vent to her dissatisfaction by
washing her hands with exerting force. She then takes tissue to wipe her
hands. After some time, she just throws the tissue to the rubbish bin. “She
doesn’t want to make it public? It’s too hilarious. If she doesn’t want to do
it then she shouldn’t go the ‘back door’. I have enough of her, yet I would
still be working at the same place as her, I…….”
Zhu Xian chokes, Xu Qin is watching her from the slightly open door. Xu
Qin is so calm and cold.
Xu Qin asks indifferently: “You don’t want to work with me, should I help
you to talk with the Yuan Zhang (The head of the hospital?” Because she
is so tired, her voice is hoarse.
Zhu Xian is trembling, her gaze shows that she feels shameful and wants
to beg for her forgiveness.
Xu Qin then just turns her body and leave.
…….
The time she exits the hospital and goes to her car, the security guard
greets her friendly: “Xu Yi Sheng (Doctor Xu), you are getting off work?”
Xu Qin smiles and nods. She gets on the car and drives her car quickly to
get out of the parking area.
The early morning sun is shinning so splendidly, it is so shinning that Xu
Qin feels it’s hard to ope her eyes.
Meng Family’s courtyard is located in the west of the city, it’s quite far
away from the hospital. Papa feels distressed to see her working so hard
so he buys her an apartment at Zong Lu Hua Yuan area. It only takes ten
minutes to go there so it’s convenient for her to go and get off work.
The apartment is new and sitting on the north facing south. It’s big. Xu
Qin is living there with absolutely empty space, yet she doesn’t feel
lonely. Years of staying abroad has made her to be good at living alone in
a city.
Maybe because of continuously staying up till late, Xu Qin has a sore
throat. She remembers that she has a kettle at home yet she forgets
where she places it.
9
She searches for it at the kitchen cupboards for a while. Then she takes it
out and tears open all the plastics. She washes the kettle cleanly and then
pours two bottles of water inside. The time she is about to heat it up, she
notices that the plug of the kettle is English style plug.
Xu Qin holds it and stands there for few seconds, she sighs and also
doesn’t know from where the butler bought this one. She tries to find
whether she has another connector for the plug.
Finally she just lets it be, she opens up a bottle of water. The cold water
somehow makes her throat hurt. She frowns yet she finishes the water.
Then she goes to the bathroom to have a shower. She dries her hair
before getting on the bed to sleep.
Xu Qin sleeps so soundly, yet in a daze she could hear a siren. She knows
that it’s not an ambulance so she doesn’t wake up.
Till at the next moment, there’s a bell ringing. It sounds hurry, the person
also knocks very hard on her door. “Xu Xiao Jie (Ms Xu) ?! Xu Xiao Jie?!
Xu Qin suddenly wakes up, there’s sound of siren outside.
She opens the door and sees it’s the security guard of this apartment
complex, he looks anxious and terrified. He is sweat: “Please go down
quickly, the Wu Fang street is burning. Your car blocks the passage for the
firefighters.”
Xu Qin is sobers, she wears her shoes quickly: “I’ll go down now.”
“Bring your car key ay!”
Xu Qin closes her door and then she asks: “That part is the firefighter’s
channel? I see that residents are parking their car there.”
The security guards pulls a long face: “Yes, everyone is blocking that path.
There would be a major thing. Hurry up, I still have a lot of residences that
i couldn’t contact.”
The security guards run away: “It’s over, it’s over. This time it’s so over.”
Xu Qin takes the elevator and looks at the window and notices a thick
smoke from not far away place.
Xu Qin’s apartment is located in Zong Lu Hua Yuan, which is a famous
high grade area. The apartment there costs two or three times higher
10
than the area surround its. It’s new area that has everything needed
available around.
As for Wu Fang road is near the Zong Lu Hua Yuan area, it’s a widely
known poor and old area. In the past it is inhabited land of craftsmen. But
after it gradually transforms into a small commodities street and lowest
rung of society residence.
A few years ago Dong Cheng plans to develop Wu Fang road so it would
be demolished buildings and relocate the inhabitants, but there are lots of
people living there. Most of them have no property right and the
developer of that area doesn’t willing to give enough compensation. This
leads to those people to have no place to live and both sides can’t come
to an agreement. The developer plans to use force to demolish it.
Luckily there is a domestic famous director finds a great view and makes
Wu Fang road part of his film. The society starts to appeal to protect that
area of the city because of its culture and architecture. They want to leave
the vintage image of Wu Fang road. It creates a great controversy. At last
Wu Fang road turns into a famous scenic spot and couldn’t be demolished.
Year by year, the area turns from plain to impressive place — all around
that area is great buildings and European style residence and SCBD. It has
wide streets. It’s so crowded. The local people are bantering that the area
has changed into “The garden in the center of New York”.
Zong Lu Hua Yuan is on the other side of Wu Fang road, It’s just separated
by an alley.
As a result, Zong Lu Hua Yuan has problem regarding the parking area. In
addition, there is a maintance for the parking areas. The residence in that
area couldn’t park their car inside. Some of them just parks their car
outside. The small alley on the back becomes their first choice.
All the fine cars line up parking as long chains inside that alley and only
leaves an one-way street. Day after day, there is no problem.
Who knows that it makes the fire engine couldn’t get inside.
Xu Qin goes out of her building with the back door and runs into that alley.
The firefighter engine’s siren keeps on ringing. Stream of people are
11
walking out. The adults are running with a panic-stricken face. Men are
holding their women and daughters. Teen are holding elderly. Several
firefighters are guiding those groups: “Don’t push! Just walk slowly and
safely! Don’t run!.”
Xu Qin looks at the situation around and notices a heavy smoke from the
SCBD building.
A lot of people are starting to move their car.
Several firefighter’s engines are blocking the alley, their red lights are on.
The driver of the fire engine starts to swear: “Where is the property
manager?! Hurry up ask people to move their car!”
Two cars start to move, yet suddenly the fire engine car stops again
because there are still two cars that block its way.
On the street, women are screaming, kids are crying. The waters are on
the ground. The firefighters pull the water hose but because there is
limited length it could only spray the water in several range.
Xu Qin’s hair and clothes are wet.
She runs toward her car and takes out her car key. The time she wants to
press open her car, a woman runs and knocks her off. It makes her car
key falls down to the bottom of the car.
Xu Qin kneels down bends over to take a look. It turns out that under the
car, there is a stream of filthy water.She feels disgusted, she bites her lips
and extends her hand to take her car key but she couldn’t reach it.
From the under of the car, she could see some shoes running over, they
are two firefighters
“How about these cars, we couldn’t contact the owner, what should we
do?”
That man’s voice is cold, he sounds angry: ‘D*mm*t, just lift it!”
“How should we do it?!”
“If we don’t lift it up then should we wait till this place turns into a flat
ground? People are here, lift up the car!” That man comes over and
makes an order.

12
“Song Dui (Leader Song), look at all these license plate number. They are
all……”
“Stop saying nonsense. I’ll bare the responsibility.” That man says coldly.
Xu Qin’s heart is forced down and finally could reach the key. She stands
up and hears the angry voice behind her. That man is still furious. He
howls: “Is this your car? Do you know that this is the fire engine’s
channel!”
Xu Qin presses her car key and opens the door, she turns her head and
apologizes: “I’m sorry, I….”
Song Yan is wearing a deep blue fire-fighting suit with the safety helmet.
He is standing behind her. He looks at her with impatience and disgust.
Xu Qin’s mind goes blank. Looking at that face makes her face goes blank.
Song Yan pushes her without any politeness, he roars: “D*mm*t, why are
you still standing there stupidly?! Hurry up drive the car away!”
Xu Qin staggers and bumps into the car and she just regains herself, she
looks around. Everything is at a mess. Then she turns her head again to
look at Song Yan, Song Yan has already gone to another car.
Xu Qin gets inside her car and starts the car. She follows the direction to
go out of the alley. The time she passes by Song Yan, she looks at him for
a while.
Song Yan and several other firefighters are lifting the cars. Those men
look serious and tense. They use all their power to lift up the car to the
side and overturns it to the road side. They don’t stop. The fire engine
starts to get in.
His image from the rear-viewed mirror turns small, he disappears in front
of her eyes.
Xu Qin remembers that Song Yan’s house is at Wu Fang raod too.
She parks the car at the outside of her apartment building. Her heartbeat
turns normal. The time she recalls what happened, she just realizes that
Song Yan basically doesn’t recognize her. He looked at her like she is just
a stupid city resident.
He doesn’t remember her.
13
She looks at the running people from her rear-viewed mirror. She takes
out her phone and calls the hospital’s emergency center.
“Wu Fang road has a fire disaster, have you received report of a crime?”
“Our ambulance car has already gone there.”
Xu Qin puts down her phone and uses her rubber band to tie up her hair.
Then she gets off the car, she runs toward that alley again.

Chapter 3
The white-collar workers around the SCBD building are taking photos with
their phone.
Wu Fang road is full of thick smoke, people inside the building are running
outside with their own might. Everyone is looking at the lively situation.
Xu Qin exerts her strength to charge into a group of people, who are
blocking the alley. The firefighters are pulling their security lines and
roaring toward the crowd: “All of you start to scatter! Move away! — You,
why are you charging inside?”
Xu QIn says: “I’m a doctor.”
That skinny firefighters is confused. “Which hospital are you from?”
Xu Qin answers: “The three armed services hospital.”
Xu Qin bends her body to pass the security line and runs toward the alley.
The fire engines cars already pass inside the alley. The firefighters start to
spray out the water.
The houses of the Nan Wu Road are vintage architecture, most of them
are using wood structure and closed to each other. Though now there are
four fire engine with high pressured water, yet the fire is not dispersed.
Most of the residents are evacuated, only firefighters are staying there in
the frontline to fight it.
Nearby there are several leaders of the firefighters and political
commissar gathering together to look at the map. The fire on the front is
gone yet the inner area of the Nan Wu road, which the fire engine couldn’t
get in, is still there. They just depends on the strength of the spray to fight
it.
14
Song Yan advises: “Send and divide the people to extinguish the fire.”
Yet, the leader of the firefighter of the Nan Wu road doesn’t agree with
him. “I oppose it.”
Song Yan: “Why?”
“These houses are having their own hidden trouble, if the fire ignites once
more, it is easy for the roof to collapse. If we get inside, it’ll be too
dangerous. Moreover, the reporters have checked the nearest area. Every
family are successfully evacuated, no one is inside so we don’t need to
take risks.”
The other group leaderr says: “I approve.”
Yet Song Yan shakes his head and points at the map: “Look at this, now
this are is burnt, these houses are from brick. At the present we couldn’t
control it. If we get inside, this area….”
Song Yan points at the are close to the burning area: “This is a building
made of wood. If the fire spreads out here, it would be too late. That time
the fire would be twofold great that this. We maybe couldn’t control it.
Moreover–“
“Moreover?”
Song Yan pulls his lips: “In the apartment here, there are lots of foreigners
that live alone. If there’re two or three of them being stranded. No one
would notice that they are gone.”
All people’s expression turn grave, the political commissar of that area
decides: “Act out what Song Yan said.”
The firefighters start to gather in groups and carry their own fire-
extinguishers and shields. They start to get in to the scene of fire.
The time Xu Qin runs inside, she just watches Song Yan disappears into a
raging fire and thick smoke. She couldn’t see him anymore.
The fire is so hot, the area is surrounded by flames and smokes. Xu Qin
covers her noise and coughs. She retreats several meters. She feels her
face is hurt because of the heat of the fire. She couldn’t imagine the
feeling of the firefighters.
After a while, there’s a sound of explosion.
15
The political commissar, Suo Jun, holds up the intercom: “Song Yan?! Song
Yan?! What happened?!”
Song Yan laughs and replies: “One of the gas tank exploded. Why? You
are afraid that I’m dead?”
Suo Jun is speechless: “D*mm*t, be more serious.”
“Bye.”
…..
“Without any order, no one could go inside.” Song Yan yells. He points to
his group and to let them disperse to extinguish the fire. The firefighters
are spread out to the complicated alley and starts to spray out.
Then suddenly this time there’s a young man crying: “HELP!”
Song Yan is the first time to hear it, he raises up his hand to give
instruction. People around him start to stop and opens up their ear to hear
that young man.
The young man’s voice becomes clear: “HELP! Is there anybody outside?
HELP!”
“F*ck.” Song Yan swears and howls, “Raise up all of your heads and
search for him!”
Yang Chi is the first one notices: “There!”
Song Yan: “D*mm*t, in which direction is it?”
Yang Chi: “Eleven o’clock!”
The young man is leaning on the railing window on the third building. He
is weak and crying for help. The time he sees Song Yan, he howls and
cries: “HELP ME! PLEASE HELP ME!”
Xiao Ge runs over: “Song Dui, I and Jiang Yi would go up to rescue that
person.”
Song Yan looks around that building and decides: “No. The rooms in that
building are transformed into a small one to be rented. If every rented
room has its own gas tank, it’s useless though you have ten life.”
The time they are discussing then suddenly a wind blows, the black smoke
comes out from the window. That young man has no more voice left.

16
Song Yan immediately takes off his fire-fighting suit, he is sweaty. The
high temperature has created all his body to be sweaty.
Jiang Yi is shocked: “Song Dui, last time you were punished because of
taking of your fire-fighting suit.”
Song Yan glances at him: “Here there are only us. Who dare to leak it out?
Em?”
Everyone shuts up.
Song Yan is unarmed. He holds the drainage pipeline on the wall and
climbs up to the third floor. He looks inside that the young man is fainted.
The railing window is roasted because of the fire and it’s so scorching hot
to touch it. Song Yan holds it and shakes it for a while. The dusts all over
it.
Song Yan tries to stick close to the wall, one of his foot is on the AC board
and one of his foot is on the drainage pipeline, then he yells: “CORD!”
Xiao Ge just throws two chords up.
Song Yan takes it and ties it to the railing window: “Okay.”
Then seven firefighters just pull that together with all their power: “One,
two, three!”
After the railing of the window falls down, Song Yan avoids it quickly. He
flips his body to step on the board on the next room and then gets inside
the room.
The room has a high temperature like a steamer basket, it’s all full of
black smoke. He narrows his eyes and ties the chord at that young man’s
wait. and ties another edge of the chord to the edge of the window on the
inside room. Then he sends him down..
Yang Chi takes the young man and carries him on his back to rescue him.
Song Yan wants to climb down yet the door of the room is burn through,
he notices there’s a gas tank on the corner. He howls: “MOVE AWAY!”
At the same time, there’s a sound of explosion.
The glass, aluminum alloy, wall, wood; all of it are exploding.
Song Yan falls to the ground.
……
17
Inside the scene of the fire, there’re continuously sound of explosion. The
smokes gradually disappear. The firefighters are holding the fire
extinguisher and going inside to provide assistance. Suddenly, a young
firefighter rushes out: “Where is the doctor? Who understand about first
aid?”
Xu Qin immediately comes forward: “I.”
Yang Chi’s face is full of black ash, he raises his head to look at Xu Qin. He
is startled for a while.
Xu Qin also recognizes him, yet she doesn’t have time to mind him. “Put
him down quickly!”
Yang Chi immediately puts down the man.
Xu Qin checks the young man’s pupil and pulse: “He is asphyxiate.”
Xu Qin raise his chin and digs out a cotton fibre. She pries open his mouth
and pulls out the towel from his mouth. Then she loosens up his collar, she
says coldly: “Just let me handle this, you could go.”
Yang Chi hesitates for a while, then he just runs toward the scene of fire.
Xu Qin kneels down and starts to do CPR for the fainted young man. When
it’s done, she passes the young man to the nurses and paramedics.
This time the fire is under control, Song Yan and friends are coming out.
Every one of them look so especially miserable. Their clothes are full of
ash.
Xu Qin stands on the road side and watches Song Yan. In a moment, his
eyes shift and meet up with her eyes.
There’s another group of firefighters go inside to check around to prevent
there’s another fire.
The previous group looks tired, most of them are leaning on the wall or
near the fire engine to take a rest. Some of them take bottle of water to
wash their eyes, some of them are lying down.
Song Yan is sitting down near the telephone pole, he drinks the water. On
the ground, there’s muddy water yet he doesn’t care, anyway he feels his
clothes are dirty too.
This time Xu Qin feels that he is so masculine.
18
Xu Qin stands near the curb, it’s not really clean place. She is watching
Song Yan.
Song Yan puts down his bottle and looks at her.
He looks at her for few seconds and suddenly smiles like he is full of
interest. He raises his chin and eyebrows. Then in next second, he
whistles like he is flirting with a stranger woman on the roadside.
“Song Yan!” Suo Jun shouts at him to stop, he says with a low voice: “You
once again are muddled up!”
Song Yan is unconcerned, he just wipes the water on his chin.
Suo Jun smiles at Xu Qin: “Friend, sorry. He always acts like this, he has
no bad intention.”
Xu Qin doesn’t reply and just walks directly toward Song Yan.
Song Yan looks at her with his narrow eyes, he is smiling so
unrestrainedly.
Xu Qin stops in front of her and says: “Song Yan, come over. I have
something to talk to you.”
Suo Jun is astonished. They both know each other?
Song Yan lies his head to one side and looks at Xu Qin, he watches her for
a while and finally stands up. He pats his bottom and goes toward her. Xu
Qin turns her body to walk toward the roadside. Yet Song Yan just passes
by her shoulder and walks toward the fire engine.
Right, she is showering affectionate act on an uninterested party. Xu Qin
stops and looks back. He is getting on the high fire engine and just leaves
a cold smiling face.
The fire engine starts to move.
Xu Qin’s face just turns pale.
Xu Qin walks forward to go out of the alley, the fire engine is about to turn
right. When the fire engine is about to go out of the alley. A young man
with red t-shirt shouts and blocks the fire engine: “Stop! D*mm*t stop!”
The driver stops, the fire engines behind that fire engine also stop and
blocks the alley.

19
That young man is so angry, he keeps on pointing at the firefighters. “You
guys, d*mm*t! You! Who did lift up my car?”
Song Yan sits down beside the driver, his right arm is placed on the
window. His hand is bloodied and has a lot of scratches. He leans over
slightly and extends his head out: “I did it, you have any objection?”
He is smiling faintly.
That young man doesn’t expect that this firefighter could be this frank, he
points at Song Yan with trembled fingers: “Get off the car.”
Song Yan opens up the door and gets off the fire engine. He takes off his
firefighter suit and shows his army green vest.
He passes Xu Qin.
Xu Qin goes toward that red t-shirt young man, who is shorter a head by
him. That young man starts to talk: “You, do you know who I am? Today
you need to apologize and compensate me then I’ll let you go. If not, just
wait till you are dismissed from your post.”
Song Yan just watches him and makes that young man feels diffident.
“Look at my car’s license plate. Do you know that I…….?
Song Yan laughs and suddenly just kicks that Porsche car, it makes the
license plate falls to another side.
That young man’s face just turns red, yet he doesn’t dare to do anything.
He just keeps on pointing at Song Yan and saying repeatedly: “You, you,
you— Do you know who I am?”
Song Yan moves closer to him and approaches: “D*mm*t, why should I
care who you are? You occupied the fire engine channel and made the fire
that could be extinguished for ten minutes into two hours. It burnt 78
households. You want me to explain more reasons? Do you want to be
exposed that your car is one of the cars that created difficulty in
extinguishing the fire. If I were you, I’ll walk away.”
Song Yan finishes his sentences and looks at the red shirt young man.
“Nan Cheng county area fighter, Song Yan, go and make a complaint.”
The red t-shirt man just stands there and stares dumbfounded.
Song Yan returns back to the fire engine and gets on it.
20
The big car moves and disappears in front of her.
Xu Qin stands thee and watches that red t-shirt young man leaves
hurriedly. “It’s been years, yet he is still the same person as before, he is
not change even for a wee bit.

Chapter 4
Xu Qin goes back home and just notices that she has few missed calls.
The time she wants call back, Meng Yan Chen calls her.
“Hello?”
“Your area is in fire?”
“It’s in the street next to me. I’m okay here.” Xu Qin kicks her shoes and
gets inside her room without wearing any slippers.
“It’s great.” Meng Yan Chen asks again: “Recently you are so busy?”
“A bit.” Xu Qin passes by the floor mirror and looks at herself that is full of
mud. She frowns, she feels awkward. “Let’s stop talking. I want to take
shower. Tomorrow I’ll go home and visit Pa Ma.”
‘Okay.” Meng Yan Chen hangs up.
Xu Qin stands on the shower and has a cool shower. She looks at the
water and recalls how Song Yan looked at her rudely. That handsome face
is covered with ash and sweat, he looks wild like he was before.
That time Xu Qin was just a middle school student.
It should be summer, Xu Qin came home after school. On the way she was
stopped by Song Yan and his good-for-nothing friends.
Xu Qin used to hang her head low when she is walking. The time she
almost stepped on Song Yan’s feet. She raises hear head.
Song Yan raised his chin. “You are Meng Qin right?”
Xu Qin turned silence.
Song Yan immediately continued: “I take a fancy on you.”
His friends were laughing so loudly, Song Yan frowned and looked back to
scold them. “You guys d*mm*t, just go away! Don’t you guys see that I’m
pampering your Sao Zi (Sister-in-law)? Who make a sound again, I would
beat him to death!”
21
That friends just went away, Song Yan turned his head again and looked
at Xu Qin. He frowns: “Speak up.”
Xu Qin looked at him for a while and says: “I don’t know you.”
“I’m Song Yan, your man.”
Xu Qin just lowered her head with disinterest and continued to walk
forward.
Song Yan just placed his hands on his pocket and smiled toward the sky.
He kept on walking and blocking Xu Qin’s path.
Xu Qin went to the left, he would block her; the time she went to the right,
he would walk toward the right.
It happened for some time, Xu Qin raised her head again and looked at
him.
Song Yan looked at her, he smiled: “I’m asking you? You haven’t finished
your words, why are you running away?”
Xu Qin didn’t answer and just seized the chance to run away.
Song Yan blocked her quickly, Xu Qin couldn’t avoid him so she knocked
her body to him.
“Ahyoo—“ He just snorted and laughed: “Come, and knock me again.
Knock into my heart.”
Xu Qin retreated and stood up straight, her face was red and finally she
yelled: “Rogue!”
Song Yan kept his hands inside his pocket and said innocently: “What did I
do?”
Xu Qin: “Why did you keep on blocking my path?”
Song Yan raised his chin: “I like you, if I don’t block, who would block
you?”
Xu Qin didn’t say anything.
“Did you hear my words before? Em?” Song Yan lowered his head and
looked at his eyes: “You wouldn’t talk right, I’ll not let you go.”
The teenager Xu Qin just stood there and watched him. She didn’t say
anything, she also didn’t walk away.

22
Both of them stood still for some time, no one was willing to walk away. At
last they just stood up there for ten minutes, twenty minutes, half hour,
then an hour.
Perhaps a person only be that childish and stubborn in their young age.
Xu Qin suddenly be in low spirits, she suddenly turns off the tap water.
This would be the only meeting by accident for them, they wouldn’t meet
each other again.
He is just inessential person, she doesn’t really wish to meet him again.
The next day she comes home, she has a small problem.
Xu Qin forgets to bring her permit. The guard of the great courtyard
supposedly to be a newbie soldier. He doesn’t recognize her, he also
doesn’t remember her car’s license plate so she is being stopped and
asked to register.
Xu Qin flips open her bag for a while then she raises her head and says: “I
seem to forget my wallet so I forget my identity card too.”
The guard asks: “Who are you looking for?”
Xu Qin stops for a second and says: “Meng Huai Jin, Chief of Staff.”
The guard is confused and starts to examine the woman in front of him.
Xu Qin is sitting on the car and says nothing. She just feels weird that it’s
toward the evening but the sun is still shinning so hot.
The guard wants to say something but a soldier comes over and gives
respect. The guard also returns his respect.
The solider pulls open the railing: “Meng Xiao Jie (Ms Meng), I’m sorry. He
is a newbie, sorry to take your time.”
Xu Qin smiles faintly: “It’s okay.”
She drives pass the gate. Both of the soldiers are giving a salute while
following her car with their eyes.
This courtyard was built in 1980; Red walls and white tiles, shaded by
green trees, quite the old wind. Though it is adjacent to the west area of
the crowded city, yet it faces the lake. It closes to the museum and
library. It is quite peaceful and quiet in noisy surroundings.

23
Xu Qin stops the car and doesn’t get into the house rushingly. She feels a
bit stifling.
She goes to the shrub and smokes a cigarette. She stands close to the
shade of trees. The air is cool and her mood turns better. She notices a
yellow mark on the green tree. Now it’s still summer. The other side of the
wall has a ginkgo tree that has the yellow leaves, it likes a kid that makes
a mistake.
That year Song Yan used to climb off that tree and looked for her. That
man remembered clealry about the patrol time.
Now he shouldn’t be able to do it, there’s a camera over there.
Xu Qin lights off her cigarette and sprays her perfume. Then she goes to
the front door.
The time she just reaches the front door, Meng Yan Chen’s car arrives.
Xu Qin just stands there and waits for Meng Yan Chen, who is wearing
military uniform, to get off his car.
Meng Yan Chen is a handsome man since he was little. With his military
uniform, he sheds off his delicateness and transforms himself to look
heroic. He really looks like Meng Huai Jin in young age. He is calm and
discipline.
Meng Yan Chen looks at Xu Qin: “You seem to look skinnier?”
Xu Qin: “You are exaggerating it, how long has it been since you went
home?”
Meng Yan Chen takes off his hat: “Two weeks.”
Xu Qin goes upstair and rolls her eyes at him. “You have face to talk about
me?”
Meng Yan Chen watches her little delicate face, he is startled and smiles.
He follows her to go inside.
Xu Qin gets inside and changes her shoes, she greets: “Pa, Ma.”
Meng Yan Chen also follows: “Pa, Ma.”
Fu Wen Ying comes out from the study room. “How could you guys go
home together?”
Xu Qin: “We met outside. Where’s my Pa?”
24
“He is playing chess with Xiao Yi Xiao’s Pa. It will be dinner soon, he would
go back soon.”
Xu Qin: “I am sweaty, I would go up and change my clothes.”
Fu Wen Ying frowns and looks around. She smiles and asks: “Who was
smoking?”
Xu Qin doesn’t respond.
“Me.” Meng Yan Chen says: “Before I smoked one on the car. It’s been
some time, yet you still could smell it on me.”
Fu Wen Ying continues to smile: “Do you forget our family’s rule?”
Meng Yan Chen raises his hand: “Don’t bring the cigarette smoke back
home, I promise there will be no more.”
Xu Qin goes upstair and closes the door. She looks at her bedroom, it
seems to have no change. She walks toward her table and opens up her
cupboard. Her wood shavings and little carved figures are gone.
Fu Wen Ying dislikes her hobby to carve. She said that staying for a whole
day inside the room to carve woods and say nothing, her brain would
damage.
She also dislike Xu Qin’s profession as a surgeon. She said that the
profession as doctor shouldn’t be belong to the family like them.
Xu Qin closes the cupboard and takes out a dress out. She starts to take
off her clothes.
Meng Yan Chen knocks on the door and opens the door: “Qin Qin…”
Xu Qin is taking off half of her top, her white shoulder and blue bra are
seen. Her eyes are on Meng Yan Chen. Meng Yan Chen is holding his
phone close to his ear. He is startled and pulls to close the door.
Xu Qin asks: “What is it?”
Meng Yan Chen: “Yi Xiao called, he books a room, he is asking whether we
would want to come over.”
Xu Qin nods: “Em.”
Meng Yan Chen just turns his body to leave.

25
Xiao Yi Xiao is their neighbor, he and Meng Yan Chen is born in the same
year, month and day as Meng Yan Chen. But two of them are really
different, one is like a fire, one like is an ice.
When they were young, they competed for everything; They refuse to give
in to each other. If you like east, I would like west. If you go to the north, I
would go the south.
They starts to reconcile after Xu Qin’s arrival.
Xu Qing didn’t like to talk, she just loved to carve wood with her knife, was
is like a robot. Xiao Yi Xiao really liked the little Mie Mei, he looked at her
with curious gaze. Sometimes he stroked her hand or poked her face. She
wouldn’t cry or make fuss. She would just look at him with her eyes. Xiao
Yi Xiao really liked her. Everyday he would run toward Meng family house.
Meng Yan Chen kicked him out. “This is my Mei Mei (Little sister), not
yours.”
Xiao Yu Xiao was so furious, he came home and bickered with his Ma: “I
also want Mei Mei. I want the one like Xiao Qin.” Then he was hit by his
Ma.
Xiao Yu Xiao heard from Fu Wen Ying said that Xu Qin was sick because
she didn’t come out and just stayed at home. For everyday he would
climb on the window to look for her to come out and play. He would talk
about how fun it is to go out and play to provoke her to go out.
One day, Xu Qin just carved out a little figure. She said nothing and just
stuffed it into Xiao Yu Xiao’s hand. Xiao Yi Xiao looked at it and realized it
was a little miniature of himself. He was so happy and showed it off to
Meng Yan Chen. Meng Yan Chen laughed and reveals that he had more
than tens of it.
Xiao Yu Xiao was so furious that he was about to bite Meng Yan Chen.
Xu Qin always be protected by them since she was little. She only has a
few friends. She only has ‘superficial contact’ with outside world.
Song Yan is an exception.
After the dinner, Meng Yan Chen says that he would go out to meet Xiao
Yu Xiao, Fu Wen Ying doesn’t ask too much question. She doesn’t disagree
26
and just complains how Meng Yan Chen doesn’t act like Xiao Yu Xiao; he
should find a girlfriend.
Meng Yan Chen just acts like he doesn’t hear her.
Xiao Yu Xiao is a local kid, he loves to hang out with his friends at night. In
town from east to west, north to south, no one he doesn’t know, no place
he never goes. He has a lot of friends and girlfriends. One time Xu Qin
said that he is a playboy, she didn’t expect that he would let go and said:
“I am playboy? I have loved you for so many years, the earth could be the
support of me.” Xu Qin was too lazy to mind his joke.
Since he was young, he always be a naughty boy. He even was beaten by
his Pa till he was twenty eight years old. He is disinterested with an official
career. He prefers to do business. Now the naughtiest one be the richest
one.
Xiao Yu Xiao is the frequent visitor of Wan Liu. It seems every night he
would be there to discuss about business with his business partners. Meng
Yan Chen says Xiao Yu Xiao’s name and the waiter just takes them to his
room.
They pass a dazzling sight of elevator, Xu Qin unconsciously sees a red
fire hydrant, on the side there’s a ‘fire control safety check’. There’s a
record of the dates and names.
“April 16, Nan Cheng fire department group, Wang Xuan Kai, Qualified”
………..
“September 17, Nan Cheng fire department group, Zhang Hao Ke,
Qualified”
The elevator doors open and Xiao Yu Xiao is inside the elevator.
Meng Yan Chen: “Where are you going?”
Xiao Yu Xiao: “Xu Yi Sheng (Doctor Xu), we are honored by your presence
so I should go downstair by myself to pick you up.”
Xu Qin turns her head around and says: “If you have this skill, it’s better
for you to use it to coo your girlfriend.”
Xiao Yu Xiao looks at her and asks: “What are you looking at?”
Xu Qin: “Nothing.”
27
The elevator starts to move up.
Xu Qin suddenly says: “Last week I saw Song Yan.”
Meng Yan Chen and Xiao Yu Xiao look at her.
XiaoYu Xao asks: “What is his job now? Let me guess, he wouldn’t be a
boss like me right.”
Xu Qin’s eyes turn gloomy: “He is a firefighter.”
The atmosphere in the elevator turns quiet.
Meng Yan Chen snorts: “I just know that guy wouldn’t have a good
prospect.”
Xu Qin smiles weakly: “Yes.”

Chapter 5
Xu Qin is the last one to exit the elevator, Xiao Yu Xiao slows down his steps.
Xu Qin asks: “Why are you looking at me?”
Xiao Yu Xiao: “Do you miss Song Yan?”
Xu Qin is cold: “What should I miss from him?”
Xiao Yu Xiao couldn’t answer for a moment, he just laughs and strokes Xu
Qin’s head.
……….
The colored lights circulate in the room, it makes the atmosphere be
dubious. The screen is playing an oldies song. The waiters are pouring water
and beers on the coffee table.
Xu Qin goes to the washing room, Meng Yan Chen is drinking water on the
sofa. Xiao Yu Xiao sits beside him and pushes him.
Meng Yan Chen’s glass shakes : “What is it?”
Xiao Yu Xiao: “Recently do you have any woman around you?”
Meng Yan Chen shakes his head.
Xiao Yu Xiao glances at him. “Do you have any embarrassing illness?”
Meng Yan Chen looks back at him: “If not, you want to try?’
Xiao Yu Xiao shows his disgusted expression. “Go away! I have no interest in
man.”

28
One of the female waiter in the room laughs secretly, Xiao Yu Xiao pretends
to be angry: “What are you laughing at? Ah?”
The waiter knows that he doesn’t angry, she just smiles.
Xiao Yu Xiao just asks: “Let me ask two of you, is he handsome?”
Meng Yan Chen: “Get lost.”
One of the waiter pursues her lips and blushes.
Xiao Yu Xiao: “Is he handsome? Ah? He.”
The two waiters nods.
Xiao Yu Xiao continues to tease them. “So is he more handsome or me?”
Meng Yan Chen couldn’t be quiet anymore: “Are you bored?”
One of the waiter is bold, she says: “He.”
Xiao Yu Xiao loses his smile and looks at that young woman. After a second,
he smiles: “Tonight you would not get any tip.”
The young woman, who is not getting any tip, just stays silent.
Xiao Yu Xiao doesn’t make fuss and just eats his orange. He suddenly says:
“That day, Xiao Qin said a sentence to me.”
Meng Yan Chen looks at him.
Xiao Yu Xiao: “She said that your Ma told her of what is called life, it means
you couldn’t get what you want the most. Also precisely you want something
because you couldn’t get it. But the time you get it, you would toss it away
quickly.
Meng Yan Chen watches him intensely.
Xiao Yu Xiao: “A person’s life is really long, if you could enjoy what you have,
it’s already a great good fortune. Giving up something for chasing something
you want. It’s worthless.”
The time they are speaking, Xu Qin is back. Meng Yan Chen looks away and
picks up his wine glass.
The waiter, who is pouring wine asks: “Xiao Ge (Bro Xiao), what do you still
want yet you couldn’t get it ah?”
Xiao Yu Xiao is not serious, he just smiles: “I want you, but I couldn’t get
you.”
The young woman couldn’t endure the tease, she laughs shyly and blushes.
29
Suddenly Xiao Yu Xiao’s phone vibrates.
Meng Yan Chen takes a look at it: “Just go down. Before you said you have
things to do?”
Xiao Yu Xiao knows that he couldn’t hide it from him “My several business
partners turn out to have dinner next door. I just know about it and I want to
treat him to drink, but….”
Meng Yan Chen: “But there’s no other room?”
Xiao Yu Xiao: “D*mm*t, it’s too unlucky.”
Meng Yan Chen: “Let them come here, it’s okay.”
Xu Qin sits down and says: “I’m okay too.”
Xiao Yu Xiao laughs: “Okay.”
Five men in their full suit attire come to the room and sit down. Then the
head waiter, A Lu, brings over twenty women for accompany drinking along
inside the room. All the women are tall and showing their shoulders and long
legs. Those five men seem to be the first ones to come here so they aren’t
feeling free. They just refuse politely.
Xiao Yi Xiao asks: “You guys don’t like any of them?”
He waves his hand and one of the woman walks out in a line and another row
of women come inside. The lines of women come out and in for a while. Xiao
Yu Xiao always be someone that direct and simple. The clients don’t choose
which ones they wants so they just keep on standing up.
Anyway it’s not really awkward moment.
Xu Qin just eats her fruit and be a bystander there.
Those men are caught in a dead end so each one of them just choose one to
accompany them to drink.
A Lu waves the remaining ones to go out. She says to Xiao Yi Xiao: “Xiao Ge,
you don’t want one to accompany you to chat?”
Xiao Yi Xiao points at Xu Qin: “How could I dare, my girlfriend is there.”
Xu Qin, who is being dragged into this matter as a ‘shield’, pretends like she
doesn’t hear him.
Years ago A Lu was just a woman who accompanies man to have drink, now
she is the leader of them. She is familiar with them. She knows that Xiao Yi
30
Xiao is just joking. “Qin Jie is still that beautiful. I don’t know how to describe
her beauty, she is so beautiful two or three folds than us.”
Xiao Yi Xiao’s face change: “What are you taking about?”
Xu Qin just ignores them, she even doesn’t look at them. A Lu notices that
something is wrong so she just changes her words quickly: “How could we
compare her with us, she has a different status, of course—-“
Xiao Yi Xiao: “Get lost.”
A Lu just leaves directly, she wants to compensate her mistake so she brings
two beautiful women inside. She explains to them that these two are
newbies. At first they were on holiday, but because of Xiao Yi Xiao, she called
them over to come .
Indeed they look much more delicate and pretty, they even don’t wear too
much makeup.
Xiao Yi Xiao looks at Meng Yan Chen, he acts like a magnanimous man: “You
could choose first, then remaining one would be mine.”
Meng Yan Chen: “I have no interest.”
Then a woman with a white dress thinks that there’s no other matter, she
turns her body to leave.
Xiao Yi Xiao’s gaze turns cold, he says: “Where is your manner? Stand back!”
That woman just turns her body back and looks at Xu Qin. Their gaze meets
each other, yet Xu Qin is still acts cooly.
Xiao Yi Xiao says: “Where do you get your bad temper?”
A Lu smiles apologetically: “Em, you are impolite.”
That woman doesn’t explain, she says nothing, she even doesn’t apologize.
She just shows no expression. Her cold demeanor is similar with Xu Qin.
Meng Yan Chen points at her: “Just her.”
She comes over and sits down beside Meng Yan Chen and Xu Qin. Those
clients are now chatting excitedly with those women. But Meng Yan Chen
and Xiao Yi Xiao just regard the women are air. Xiao Yi Xiao sometimes asks
the woman, yet Meng Yan Chen just stays silent.
The white dress woman is sitting beside Meng Yan Chen, she is drinking her
own wine and just minds her own business.
31
Meng Yan Chen finally asks: “Would you go?”
The white dress woman: “I’m not leaving with a client.”
Meng Yan Chen looks at her, his gaze shows that he has a good self-control.
He peeks at Xu Qin. Xu Qin is eating her grapes and doesn’t listen to his
words.
The white dress woman seems to understand something, she just sips her
wine and says nothing. After a while, she pours another glass of wine for
Meng Yan Chen.
Meng Yan Chen asks: “What is your name?”
“Ye Zi.”
“Where are you coming from?”
Ye Zi answers him.
Meng Yan Chen: “It’s a good place.”
Ye Zi: “Have you come over there?”
Meng Yan Chen: “For business trip.”
Xu Qin takes a tissue and wipes her hands, then she stands up.
Xiao Yi Xiao: “Where are you going?“
Xu Qin: “I have a night shift, I’ll leave first.”
Meng Yan Chen: “Let me send you.”
Xu Qin: “No need, it’s quicker to take the subway.”
Meng Yan Chen says nothing, he just grabs a chain of keys and stands up. Xu
Qin looks at him and follows him out.
Xiao Yi Xiao turns and looks at them. He doesn’t know whether it’s his
illusion or not. These years Meng Yan Chen’s words seem to turn lesser and
lesser.
……….
Because it’s the weekend, during the night there’re still a lot of cars on the
street.
Meng Yan Chen just stops the car in front of the red light, he turns her head
to look at Xu Qin. Xu Qin is watching the night scenery from her window. Her
expression is clean and cold.
“What are you looking at?” She looks at the window and asks.
32
Meng Yan Chen’s fingers are poking the steering wheel. “Today, Mama said
something to me.”
Xu Qin: “What kind of things?”
Meng Yan Chen: “Nothing major, she just asked me to ask you.”
Xu Qin waits for a while and waits till he continues. Yet he says nothing so
she asks again. “What?”
Meng Yan Chen: “Do you want to get married?”
Xu Qin looks at him and seems to be indifferent: “I haven’t thought about it. I
also don’t think I don’t want.”
Meng Yan Chen tries to figure her out, he asks: “Then what kind of man you
want to date?”
Xu Qin: “I would listen to mama’s arrangement.”
Meng Yan Chen: “You are still acting the same way when you were young,
you have no interest toward anything.”
Xu Qin looks at the window again. She says nothing else.
The time they almost arrive at the hospital, Meng Yan Chen suddenly asks:
“Did you talk to Song Yan?”
Xu Qin: “No.”
Meng Yan Chen looks at her.
Xu Qin: “I said something to him, but he just ignored me. —- It’s okay.
Between me and him, there’s nothing to be talked about.”
Meng Yan Chen examines Xu Qin’s expression yet he doesn’t notice anything
different from her face.
“Qin Qin?”
“Em?”
“That year when you went abroad, what did Mama discuss with you?”
“She asked me whether I want Song Yan or money?” Xu Qin looks at Meng
Yan Chen, I says: “Of course I want money.”
Meng Yan Chen looks at her and feels confused.
Xu Qin pouts and looks forward: “It’s green light, let’s go.”
……..

33
Xu Qin provides assistance for Gao Liang Zhu Ren (Director Gao Liang) to
complete a heart surgery. The patient is a middle-aged man, who just had
sudden heart attack.
It’s quite difficult to rescue him. When the doctors are out, they notice there
are two women are fighting with each other. It turns out that the one who
sent the man with heart attack is his lover. Now she bumps into the legal
wife. Looking at this, a lot of nurses come over to mediate in a quarrel.
Xu Qin just leaves calmly.
She returns to her office and enjoys thirty minutes of calmness.
But at the last moment before her shift ends, suddenly a lot of things
happen. She has experienced a lot of times when she is about to end her
shift, a lot of things just happen. Under this condition, the overtime is
prolonged.
Ten minutes before her shift ends, there’s a white-collar worker comes over
because of a wild cat’s scratches. Xu Qin is helping her to treat the wound.
Then suddenly she hears a cry and yell. “The arm is injured, where is the
doctor?”
A couple of husband and wife with a crying ten-years old boy come inside the
emergency room. “Doctor, my baby has a scald!”
Xu Qin looks at the little boy, his injury isn’t serious. “Just go to the
outpatient service and register.”
The mother is worried: “But he is really in pain. How long would we wait if we
go to queue there? There’s also no one outside. You should accommodate us
by helping us check our Baby.”
The little by is still crying out loud. This moment, there’s no emergency case
so Xu Qin says: “Go outside and queue.”
The mother is still unhappy: “But…….”
Xu Qin raises her head: “There’s a patient over here.”
That parents just take the little kid to wait on the side. They just glare at Xu
Qin as if it could pressure here and let her to finish her duty soon.
Xu Qin: “Please go out, we should protect this patient and take the
registration number.”
34
The parents are unwilling yet they still take the kid to move back to near the
door. They are not going out of the emergency room.
Xu Qin doesn’t bicker with them. She just opens a recipe and passes it to the
white-collar worker. “Go to pharmacy to buy the medicine, then go to the
injection department to get an injection. Also in the future if you were bitten
by a wild dog, just go to the Center for Disease Control. No need to go to
here.”
“Thank you Doctor.” The white-collar worker just leaves.
That parents immediately take the boy to sit down on the chair. “Doctor,
take a look…..’
Then suddenly two men with ash on their body, rush inside the emergency
room.
“Doctor!”
That man’s wrist is burned. His clothes and skins are sticked close together,
They somehow look miserable.
That parents are feeling disgusted about their dirty bodies, they try to avoid
them.
Xu Qin notices that both of these men look familiar, she just writes a recipe
and gives it to the parents: “Go to the pharmacy and buy this medicine. You
should apply it for three days and he would get better.”
Then Xu Qin just turns her body and talks to the nurse; “Xiao Nan? Call her
over, prepare for the surgery.”
The parents look at this and says: “Doctor, you aren’t done with my boy!”
Xu Qin turns her head: “You should follow the prescription.” Then she just
wants to leave.
The man is angry and suddenly pulls Xu Qin’s arm.
Xu Qin staggers and almost falls down.
“Have you check my boy?! Ah! You even didn’t look at him for ten seconds?
How could you just prescribe the medicine randomly? How could you not
explain it to us?!”

35
Xu Qin: “If you want to chat with the doctor, you should go to queue to the
outpatient service.” Then she turns her head: “Xiao Bei. Take these people
away and prepare the surgery.”
Xu Qin goes outside. That man is holding Xu Qin’s white robe and pulls her
back. “Today if you don’t check my son’s condition clearly, I will not let you
go you!”
Xu Qin: “Let me go.”
“So what if I don’t let you go?” That man opens up his phone. He positions
his phone toward Xu Qin’s face. “This is the best hospital in the city, yet it
has this kind of doctor. I’ll record it and show it online.”
Xu Qin raises her hand and that man’s phone just falls down to the ground.
“D*mm*t!”
The nurse yells: “What are you doing?!”
Xu Qin struggles hard to get free but she is not strong. She couldn’t avoid it.
She could only see that man’s palm coming toward her cheek.
Yet that slap never comes.
A strange yet familiar figure blocks it from her.

Chapter 6
One of Song Yan’s hands is holding that man’s wrist, he is not using all of his
strength, yet that man couldn’t move.
Song Yan ridicules him coldly: “You want to hit a woman? Where did you
learn this immature behavior?”
“Let my hand go! If not— I—-.” That man stammers.
Song Yan asks him: “If not?”
He lets go Xu Qin and uses his other hand to attack Song Yan; Song Yan
clutches his wrist. Then he pushes him away till he bumps the wall.
The woman points at Song Yan and yells: “Your hospital is hitting
people?”Song Yan doesn’t want to mind them, he turns his head and looks at
Xu Qin,who is standing behind him. He points with his chin and says
impatiently: “You aren’t helping anyone, what are you doing here? You want
to watch drama?”
36
Xu Qin immediately runs out and just listens to Song Yan’s hoarse voice. He
says vulgarly: “I am not from this hospital, the patience is my Xiong Di
(Brother), D*mm*t, who dares to make a fuss here and delay his treatment. I
would break his leg.”
This is the ways of the world, bully the weak and fear the strong. The rude
and unreasonable one should be treated with one who is ruder and more
unreasonable. Xu Qin thinks that way.
……
The injured firefighter’s name is Tong Ming, the one that accompanied him to
come over calls Xiao Ge.
Xu Qin cuts the sleeve of Ming Tong’s suit, she gives him a basic cleaning
treatment. Tong Ming is in pain.
Xu Qin says: “Endure it a while, after a while, I’ll give you anesthetic.” Then
she looks at Xiao Nan to give her a signal. Xiao Nan comes over and wipes
clean Tong Ming’s dirty face.
Tong Ming turns embarrassed.
Xiao Nan is hurried: “Why are you keep on avoiding?”
Tong Ming raises his other hand: “Let me do it by myself, let me.”
Xiao Nan: “Your hand is swollen, it’s also dirty.” She says and presses down
his hand. She wipes his face clean, his face is red and there’re several
scratches.
Xiao Nan knows that he was coming out from the fire. She is empathetic
toward him, she doesn’t say anything and just wipes his hand too.
Xu Qin simply cleans Tong Ming’s arm, which is being burnt and injects a
painkiller for him. She asks coldly: “There is no ambulance at the fire scene?”
Tong Ming answers stupidly: “I don’t know, I was taken away by Xiao Ge.”
Xiao Ge explains hurriedly: “There are, but it’s not enough. They just took
several injured people and left.”
Xu Qin says: “No ambulance stays at the fire scene?”
Xiao Ge doesn’t answer.
Xu Qin says: “Go and appeal.”

37
Xiao Ge is startled, Tong Ming also turns startled. Xiao Nan Xiao Bei are
startled too. Inside their heart, they are saying: “Doctor Xu, that ambulances
are from our hospital!”
Tong Ming smiles fatuously and waves his hand: “A dispute between close
people who fail to recognize each other, we are all like one family. What
should we appeal? Hehe.”
Xu Qin looks at him.
Tong Ming thinks that she still doesn’t understand, she points at Xu Qin and
then himself. “Doctor, firefighters, don’t we work to serve the people? We
are family, family, it’s difficult.”
Xu Qin lowers her head and continues her work, she says nothing.
After the surgery is done, Xu Qin prescribes medicine and fluid loaded into a
syringe for a hypodermic injection. Xiao Nan also takes Tong Ming to get
antipyretic injection.
Xu Qin thinks about Song Yan and returns back to the emergency room
quickly. He is gone. The doctor in next shift, Doctor Li, is checking on a
patience.
Xu Qin returns to the hall and looks around carelessly. She also doesn’t know
what she is looking for. Suddenly she notices a tall man comes out of the
injection room, she goes straight toward the entrane.
Xu Qin chases after him and passes the crowds of people.
That man walks fast and his figure keeps on going far far away from her.
Xu Qin passes all the people and exits the entrance. She runs down the
staircase: “Song Yan!”
That man stops.
That time it’s a day with a gentle and fine weather, the sun is basking on his
broad shoulder.
It’s early morning.
Xu Qin tries to calm her breath because she is running. She puts her hands
on her pocket and comes closer to him: “Song Yan.”
Song Yan turns his body over and looks at her. He shows no expression.

38
They both stands under the morning sun and looks at each other, everyone
is passing them.
Song Yan: “Is there any problem?”
Xu Qin: “Long time no see.”
Song Yan narrows his eyes and seems to recall something seriously: “It’s
quite long indeed.”
Xu Qin: “How is your life right now?”
Song Yan: “Quite good, what about you?”
Xu Qin looks at his eyes and says softly: Not good.”
Song Yan stops smiling, he is observing and judging her face. After half
second, he smiles again. His expression looks like he is able to see through
she is acting, she is asking for sympathy.
He says: “Oh, is there anything else?”
It’s obvious that he doesn’t care, he also has no mood to talk roundabout
with her.
Yet Xu Qin doesn’t feel awkward, she is calm and says: “For what happened
before, thank you.”
Song Yan says politely: “I did it for my Xiao Di (Brother).”
Xu Qin nods and says politely: “Also last time……”
“Xu Qin.” Song Yan cuts her off and looks at her eyes, “What actually do you
want to say?”
Xu Qin: “If you are free, let’s drink a cup of coffee.”
Song Yan watches her for a while and once again smiles strangely for a
while. He couldn’t hide his mockery toward her.
This time Xu Qin feels her face is blushing so red, yet she feels no shame.
She still speaks up: “Could we?”
“I’m quite busy.” Song Yan slightly leans closer and closes a bit distance
between them. He says: “Line up”
Xu Qin’s face shows no response.
Song Yan stands up straight: “When it’s your turn, I’ll call you.”
He walks away.
He leaves delightedly and doesn’t look back.
39
Xu Qin stands there unmoved for a while, she watches his figure disappears
in front of her. Then she turns her body to get into the hospital.
Then she bumps into a colleague of 120 center (Ambulance department), Xu
Qin asks: “Before did you prepare an ambulance for the firefighting?”
“Of course, we prepared four ambulances.” He answers.
“Were there so many injured people? Why did the injured firefighter get no
help of the medical staffs? At last how could there’s no ambulance staying on
the scene to help them?”
“Ay, don’t mention it. At first there’s a car. But those people with light
injuries were saying that they couldn’t breath and demand a full check up.
They were making fuss to be taken to the hospital. We also had no other
way.”
Xu Qin doesn’t say anything else and just changes her clothes to get off
work.
…..
Xu Qin just wakes up three hours before she needs to go to work. She eats
her takeaways on the balcony. She looks at the tall building and Wu Fang
street nearby.
She could see the black burnt Hong Qiang Bai Wa (Red wall white roof).
Xu Qin doesn’t know what she is thinking. The time she just regains herself,
she is on the entrance of Wu Fang street.
She gets inside the Wu Fang street.
She looks around the Wu Fang street. She enters the Wu Fang street, she
could sense a different vibe from a flourishing city to a crowded village.
She passes the tailors’ stores and hears the sewing machines’ noises; She
passes the spice stores. There are lady boss and lining-up several waiters.
She could smell the spice; She passes barber’s store; There’s a small
restaurant, she could hear the cooking sound: the hot boiled oil. … The kids
are making nose.
The air is full of clothing scent, spice scent, shampoo, food, also a scent of
the leaves.

40
Xu Qin passes that busy street and notices that unexpectedly these years,
though the world outside Wu Fang street is progressing rapidly. Everything
inside the Wu Fang street is still the same. The boss of the spice still has her
mole near the lips; the tailor still wears his favorite cheongsam; the barber
still has a crew cut…..
She also could find Song Yan’s house easily, it feels like she comes back to
her own house. The feeling comes from her bone.
Song Yan is raised by his Jiu Jiu (Maternal uncle) and Jiu Ma (Auntie). The
house is in the far away from the alley. It’s a courtyard house with a fully
enclosed courtyard.
In front of the house, there’s a board which is written “Di Ji”.
The wooden door is opened and shows a glimpse of spirit wall (screen wall
used to shield an entrance in traditional Chinese architecture), covered
corridor (linking two or more buildings), a lot of wooden furnitures inside the
courtyard.
Song Yan’s Jiu Jiu is third son of Di family, who specializes in carpentry’s
work. His works are fine and meticulous. He is quite popular, he could make
from small products like woman’s makeup box to large products of
wardrobe. He could make a lot of products.
Xu Qin stands in front of the entrance of the courtyard.
She could hear a faint sound of the television program from the courtyard.
The center building of the courtyard is surrounded by loquat trees, which
stand straight with a canopy of leaves. The wisteria, which she planted that
year, has reached tall the west-side bedroom. That room is Song Yan’s
bedroom.
Everything seems to remain unchanged.
Xu Qin strokes the wood on her hand. She remembers that Di Jiu Jiu (Uncle
Di) used to teach her how to carve. He was carving a log of wood and turning
it into a headdress flower. She was so happy that she was laughing out loud.
She said: “Song Yan, I really like your courtyard house.”
That young Song Yan knelt on wooden piles, he was holding a cigarette
between his fingers. He used to see her while bent his head to another side.
41
He smiled: “It’s useless to just say it, do you dare to get into my residence
certificate?”
Xu Qin stopped moving, she also stopped smiling. She just blinked at him.
He leaned closer toward her: “I promise you that this life time till death, I will
keep on cherishing you.”
Uncle suddenly came over and slapped Song Yan’s back of the head: “You
are smoking again at home, Jiu Ma would be so angry!”
When she hears footsteps from the real world, Xu Qin regains herself.
Di Lao San notices a figure outside the courtyard: “You come to do
carpentry?”
Xu Qin turns her head.
Jiu Jiu has turned older.
“Oh, Meng Xiao Jie (Ms Meng).” Di Lao San regains his formality. “Why are
you suddenly coming here? Is there any problem?”
Xu Qin: “I am looking for Song Yan….’
When she says those words, suddenly Song Yan’s Biao Mei (Younger female
cousin via female line), Di Miao, comes out of her bedroom: “You are a cruel
woman, you still have face to come over and find my Ge? That year you
almost got him killed,you….”
Jiu Ma comes out and drags Di Miao back to the bedroom.
Xu Qin doesn’t really understand what Di Miao said, she comes forward:
“What did she say……”
Jiu Ma cuts her off: “He is not living here.”
Xu Qin glances at his bedroom unconsciously, the door is closed, the curtain
is closed. It’s dark.
“Where is he staying right now?” Xu Qin asks: “Is it convenient for you to tell
me?”
“It’s convenient.” Jiu Ma smiles, she says: “Now he is a firefighter, he
supervises the troop of firefighters. He stays at the camp. It means that he
couldn’t come out.”
She couldn’t meet him.
It’s not as easy as that year, now she couldn’t find him here.
42
 Chapter 7
For the whole week, Xu Qin’s life is peaceful like usual she goes to work. She
lives her normal life.
For the celebrating the National’s Day holiday, the medical staffs of
outpatient service are on holiday roster, while the medical staffs for
emergency department still work as usual.
During the holiday, a lot of patients, who are drunk or eating and drinking
unreasonably, come over through the help of 110 center. Every medical
staffs keep on being busy and have no time to rest.
At late night there’s a couple of drunk people, Xu Qin comes inside the
observation room. The couple are laying next to each other and chatting with
each other.
Xu Qin calls over the nurses to give both of them blood pressure medicine.
The man is chatting with the woman and glances at Xu Qin. He smiles: “Tian
Shi Jie Jie (Angelic sister), you are so beautiful ah.”
That woman points at that woman and laughs: “You are a stupid one, you
are drunk. I am the angel, I’m right here!”
That man is unhappy: “You are the one that is drunk, I am not drunk.”
The woman: “Shut up! Do you believe me that I would kiss you? I would turn
you into a stone.”
That man lifts up his blanket and wants to get off the bed: “Come on, kiss
me! Who doesn’t kiss me would be a grandson!”
The nurses use a lot of energy to press couple back to their own bed.
Xu Qin looks at both of the patients and instructs the nurses: “Just do the
routine medical procedure and put them on IV.” Then she notes the situation
down and leaves the observation room.
Xiao Nan follows her closely.
Xu Qin: “Those two know each other?”
Xiao Nan: “No, they were sent over from different places.”
Xu Qin: “But they look like they are familiar with each other.”

43
Xiao Nan: “But these twos are okay. The patients yesterday were worst. They
were hugging each other. Their beds are full of pee.”
Xu Qin says calmly: “The government shouldn’t give any holiday. People
could be animal, the time they lose their restrain, they don’t understand
what control means.
Xiao Nan reminds silently: “Doctor Xu, it means that we also would have no
holiday then we would be so tired.”
Xu Qin thinks about it: “…….Oh…….”
But in several hours, Xiao Nan once again experiences what is ‘don’t
understand what control means’.
That time it’s early morning 02:00 a.m., Xu Qin and several other surgeons,
to the extent several nurses are standing inside the consultation room. They
are looking at the same direction, everyone’s face is full of frowns.
A male patient is laying on the bed, his face is red, his legs are curling up.
His genital is stuffed in a short steel pipe
Through preliminary check up, because this patient has physiological
impulse, he stuffed his genital into short steel pipe to seek for stimulation,
but after he stuffed it in, he couldn’t take it out. Because of his genital is
constricted with blood, it is unable to soften. It keeps on straightening up for
several hours, it is so painful and the man is about to collapse. The patient is
in pain, he keeps on crying: “You should save me, Doctor ah. I haven’t had
any kid. Our family only have one heir in a generation. Please help.”
“If it’s the case, why don’t you take it easy?”
Xu Qin discusses with them and tires to give him injection, but that thing
doesn’t turns soft. She tries to pull out the pipe, but it’s useless. The patient
keeps on howling and crying.
When she is unable to find a solution, Xu Qin says: “Call the firefighters
over.” Everyone is puzzled and Xu Qin just adds: “They are experts of tool.
Just like the case where a kid is locked in a toy box, adult’s leg is locked
inside the revolving door, the ring is stuck on the finger. The firefighters
could solve that.”

44
Everyone else just realizes something. The male patient has mind to
intervene, he sneers: “Wow, what kind of stupid would have his leg stuck on
the revolving door?”
Xu Qin looks at him.
Xiao Nan calls 119.
Doctor Li sighs: “I don’t know if firefighters could do those things.”
Xu Qin says: “Firefighters are experienced prodigies………” Then she looks at
everyone else, she says: ………… you should open up your horizon about
profession.”
After a while, a fire engine car comes over.
Xu Qin sees a group of men get off the car. From the window, she could see
they are wearing orange suits. It’s a bit bright and beautiful outside the fire
scene. Yet now it looks a bit eye-catching.
She doesn’t see Song Yan.
The time the firefighters are inside the emergency room, among them
there’s no Song Yan.
Xu Qin explains the situation and asks: “Which fire department are you
from?”
“Shi Li Dai.”
It’s Song Yan’s fire department, it seems that it’s not his shift. Oh right, how
could anyone endure a twenty four hours service.
Xu Qin retreats to a side and looks outside. Could he stay behind inside the
car?
Needlenosed pliers, shearing pliers, electric-powered polishing machine…..
The firefighters spend half hours to solve that matter. Then they hand over
the task to the doctor.
After the matter is solved, the patient wants to thank the firefighters. Yet
they are gone.
The sun has risen outside.
………..
Inside the camp, Song Yan is training the officers.

45
It is said that the mastery of study lies in diligence, even skills. If they don’t
practice ten days or even eight days, they would be out of practice. Getting
into a fire scene is a matter of life or death, a small mistake would be deadly.
The firefighter military unit formulates a strict schedule of daily practices for
physical capability, technical ability, intellectual and psychology practice, by
no means an isolated case. Song Yan is a strict group leader. He usually
could joke and be happy-go-lucky. Yet during the training, he wouldn’t let
anyone be inattentive, lazy or does any cheap trick.
The firefighters already use to his style of leadership, they also know how to
cherish their own life so they train seriously and hardly. All the time for every
competitions between group of firefighters, Shi Li Dai group always be the
first one.
The contents of today’s practice is climbing an overturning wall and doing a
prompt drop.
The group is divided into pairs. They assemble downstair. One of the pair
climbs first and the other one just helps to hold the chord.
After that, it’s a ten minutes rest.
Song Yan and Yang Chi cooperates to train each other. Yang Chi climbs up
first, then throws down the rope. Song Yan takes the rope and and climbs up
for ten seconds. When he arrives at the top of the building, Yang Chi says:
“Yan Ge (Brother Yan), I heard from Xiao Fei, that this morning they were
dispatched to San Jun hospital.”
The matter of the weirdo had his genital stuck on the pipe, is not only known
to all the people in the group but also known to the other group of
firefighters.
“So?” Song Yan just carries the dummy on his back, then ties him on his
waist.
Now it’s the third pair, Song Yan is sweaty, his t-shirt is sticky.
Yang Chi wipes his sweat and carries another dummy behind his back: “They
also told me that there’s that cold beautiful female doctor. They said that
next time they would find her if they are hurt.”

46
“If not, let me make you injured now?” Song Yan glances at him and smiles
insincerely.
“Don’t.” Yang Chi giggles.
Song Yan climbs down. Yang Chi also follows him. “Ge, do you know that
doctor? Last time I felt something was wrong……”
Song Yan straightens his lips, his gaze turns dangerous.
“Is she your ex-girlfriend……”
Song Yan kicks him and Yang Chi just screams.
“I’m wrong.”
Song Yan kicks him again, Yang Chi just howls: “I’m wrong, I’m wrong.”
Song Yan just sucks his breath and just kicks him again.
…………
In a flash, it’s the first third of August, the high temperature has passed. The
half summer holiday has passed. A lot of cases at the hospital like getting
drunk, heatstrokes, fighting, stomachache because of eating Mala hotpot —
start to decline.
Xu Qin keeps her working routine, she goes home and visits her parents and
meet her friends too.
In period of time once, she also goes with Fu Wen Ying together to enjoy an
afternoon tea tea. On the opposite of the tea table, there’s a Tai Tai
(Madame) who is as elegant as Fu Wen Ying. She is with a handsome young
man around Xu Qin’s age.
Xu Qin displays herself just like Fu Wen Ying’s standards of a perfect woman:
Beautiful, fresh, soft, polite.
In Fu Wen Ying’s world, the rule is very simple. Love and feeling, heart and
nature could be spread unchecked. But for marriage, Fu Wen Ying wants a
well-matched marriage partner. She wouldn’t approve anyone in a lower
social status. It’s impossible for her.
So is Meng Yan Chen, Xiao Yi Xiao. Everyone that she knows is that way.
Xu Qin also accepts the elders’ concept and teaching silently. From she was
young till now, she is enjoying a prosperous and privileged life. It’s a

47
comfortable living condition that makes her immerse in it and couldn’t run
away.
That day the man doesn’t show that he is interested with Xu Qin. Yet two
days after, he sends a message to make an appointment with her. Xu Qin
just sits down and suddenly she is called to go to the meeting. Then they
contact each other less frequent.
Supposedly because the man has great qualifications, he has a lot of
choices.
Xu Qin doesn’t mind it, she just forgets about it. In reverse every day for
going to work at the hospital till getting off the work, she could see Dao Li’s
fire hydrant. She always be absent-minded for a second. She always looks
calm and collected.
One day after getting off the work, she answers a call from Xiao Yi Xiao, he is
asking her out. His new bar “Mei Se” starts to open.
Xu Qin arrives earlier there than Meng Yan Chen, the time she finds Xiao Yi
Xiao. He is sitting down on the booth and chatting with a man. He notices Xu
Qin and waves his hand to greet her. That man also turns his head to look at
her. Whether it’s coincidental or not, it’s the man who was in a blind-date
with a man. — Jiang Yu.
Jiang Yu looks at Xu Qin and feels surprised.
They both look at each other for a second and has reached a common
understanding.
Xiao Yi Xiao doesn’t know there’s anything between them. He just introduces
them to each other friendly: “This is my biological sister, Meng Qin; this my
friend, Jiang Yu.”
Jiang Yu is polite and asks: “What is your job?”
Xu Qin glances at him. “Doctor.”
“Being a doctor should be busy right? You are here, could you be suddenly
called over?” His words are profound.
Xu Qin glances at him and smiles politely.

48
Xiao Yi Xiao intervenes: “In the past I also said it. Being a doctor is too
tiresome. I asked her to go to the University of Medicine, it is much more
relaxed. Yet she didn’t want to listen to me.”
Meng Qin unscrews the cap of her bottle of water and says: “Except holding
the scalpel, I don’t want to do anything else.” She says. She wants to pour
the water to the glass. Her eyes narrow, she notices a small water stain o the
glass.
Xu Qin calls after the waiter: “Please change the glass.”
Jiang Yu doesn’t know why she acts that way, Xiao Yi Xiao asks her first.
“Wait, what is wrong with the glass?”
Xu Qin shows him, Xiao Yi Xiao leans closer and just sees it after quite some
time. He sighs: “I really couldn’t endure your obsession with cleanliness? Are
your eyes a microscope?” Why everything in front of you could be dirty?”
Xu Qin ignores him and takes a new glass. She checks it over and she still
feels dissatisfied. She asks for a straw from the waiter. She takes it and
wipes it clean. Then she just drinks with it.
Jiang Yu watches her action and feels it’s a bit freakish. Yet in half second, he
lowers his head and smiles.
Xiao Yi Xiao: “I heard from your Ma, your Ma arranged a blind date for you?”
Jiang Yu raises his wine glass.
Xu Qin: “Em.”
Xiao Yi Xiao asks: “Do you like him?”
Jiang Yi plays with the glass.
Xu Qin: “I just met him once, I have no deep impression of him.”
Jiang Yu looks at her and shifts his gaze. Meng Yan Chen comes over and
pats on Xu Qin’s shoulder. Then she just shifts her body to give him space to
sit down.
Jiang Yu looks at Xu Qin and then Meng Yan Chen. He finally smiles and
exchanges conventional greetings with Meng Yan Chen.
So it turns out Meng Yan Chen and Jiang Yu know each other, it’s just Xu Qin
doesn’t know about it.

49
Three men are talking about work-related matters. Xu Qin bites her straw
and doesn’t listen to them. She just daydreams till at a moment, Xiao Yi Xiao
goes away to answer his call. He says something “firefighters suddenly
comes for inspection”.
“Firefighters”. That word suddenly pulls Xu Qin back from her daydream. She
notices that everything around her is so noisy. She could hear the song: “A
returning wild goose, behind it is the ocean. It is going to the north, passing
through….”
Xu Qin raises her head; “This song is quite good.”
Xiao Yi Xiao goes far away.
She puts down her glass and stands up: “I’ll go over there to take a look.”
Meng Yan Chen and Jiang Yu just stay there and drink, they don’t want to get
in on the action.
Xu Qin notices that Xiao Yi Xiao is going to the sofa area, he just passes the
outer of the dance floor and disappears.
She follows him closely.
On the dance floor, the crowd of people are swaying based on the music.
The singer on the stage is holding her guitar and sings: “My love ah, waiting
in my grassland. Waiting for me silently, the sun is shinning in the dark.”
Without any sign, a figure flash through the crack. Xu Qin could notice the
firefighters on the opposite of the dance floor. The firefighters are wearing a
loose green uniform.
A firefighter, two firefighters, come out from the corridor.
Xu Qin doesn’t think about it and just rush through the crowd of people, she
is running over there.
Xu Qin goes to the opposite side and enters the corridor. The manager of the
bar takes several firefighters for fire safety inspection. A firefighter runs from
Xu QIn’s behind and calls after that tall man: “Dui Zhang! (Captain).”
Xu Qin doesn’t listen clearly to him, the bar is too noisy.
Xu Qin stands there and watches them want to leave.
She finally comes forward, suddenly she clutches his hem of a shirt.
He stands still for a second and turns his head slowly.
50
…….
“Is there any problem?” The man looks confused.
She recognizes a wrong person, his face doesn’t look like Song Yan.
Xu Qin lets go and says: “I recognize a wrong person.”
She turns calm and returns back to the her seat. She passes the dance floor.
On the dance floor, everyone is still dancing and jumping excitedly. The time
she regains herself, she hears the lyric of the song: “I want to return to his
side!! —“
Then the music suddenly stops, the world suddenly turns silent for a while.
Yet in the silence, Xu Qin could hear the voice of her heart so clearly.
She wants to find Song Yan.

Chapter 8
Xu Qin’s car speeds quickly from the Xi San to the southward area. There’s
no traffic jam, no red light so very quickly she could arrive there at the
outside of Shi Li Dai firefighter station center camp.
It’s a late night.
The lights are yellow, the street is soundless.
Xu Qin looks inside the fence. The time she wants to climb it, on the drill
ground, there’s a noise of police dog.
“Gong!”
A big black dog runs over from the drill ground: “Ao! Ao!”
Xu Qin is startled and turns he rhead to run away. Yet that dog seems to
‘unwilling to forgive her’. His attention is occupied on Xu Qin. What divides
them is the fence. “Ao! Ao!”
The barking voice is so fierce and malicious, it resounds to the whole street.
Xu Qin runs toward the entrance, the guard looks at her.
A man comes forward and scolds the dog: “Xiao Meng!”
The dog stops barking abruptly.
Xu Qin tidies up her hair and clothes and looks over. The dog is looking at Xu
Qin with bright eyes then the dog just returns back to that man.
Xu Qin asks the guard: “Hi, I’m looking at Song Yan.”
51
The guard glances at the warning sign in front of the entrance. Xu Qin also
looks at it too. It is written “No visitation.”
The man, who scolds the dog, comes over. That person is tall but Xu Qin
couldn’t see him very clearly.
Xu Qin fixes her gaze on him. Very quick, she turns relieved. She could that
man clealry now, it’s the Political commissar, Suo Jin.
Suo Jin comes over to look at the situation, he recognizes Xu Qin. “You
were….”
Xu Qin: “Hi, I’m looking for Song Yan.”
Suo JIn: “He is going away for government-sponsored training.”
Xu Qin: “….. Oh.”
Suo Jin: “What’s the matter?”
Xu Qin: “Nothing, I just passed by. Thank you, bye.”
“Ay….” Suo Jin still wants to do something, Xu Qin already turns her body
and goes to her car. She leaves.
She looks at the window, the city looks gloomy. It looks listless. If it’s a
rainstorm, she feels it’s a bit better. Xu Qin lights on her cigarette.
She is so bored and feels so suffocating.
………..
The next day, the sun rides high in the sky, the temperature is raising.
Several firefighters are accessed physically under the scorching sun.
The firefighters are lining up well. Song Yan blows the whistle and the
firefighters, who are lining up, start to run forward passing the starting line.
They run, hurdle, crawl, pass the obstacles, push up, sit-up.
Song Yan stays there and records the time.n
It all takes about an hour.
Song Yan looks at the table: “Attention!”
The firefighters start to stand up straight.
“Stand at ease.”
They follow his order.
“The achievement report.

52
Jiang Yi: short-distance run 11 seconds 3; hurdle: 17 seconds……” Song Yan
looks at his own group members and notices Suo Jun comes over: “……. all
the total is 2 minutes 24 seconds. You are 15 second faster than last week.
— Clap your hands.”
Everyone claps their hands.
Suo Jun is standing up beside under the tree. The police dog is beside him. A
man and a dog are waiting for Song Yan.
Song Yan tells each of their reports then says: “Everyone’s achievements
have raised. Continue to maintain it. You guys could have a ten minute rest.”
Then he looks at his watch: “10:30 a.m., gather again and exercise again.
Attention!”
“Yes.”
“Dismiss.”
Song Yan turns his body and leaves, he goes to Suo Jun and says to Xiao
Meng: “Dismiss!”
In a next second, the serious looking dog immediately opens up its mouth
and extends its tongue. It goes and throws itself to him, his front paws are on
his chest, its tail keeps on moving.
Song Yan strokes its head and smiles: “Wow, just few days of not meeting
each other, and you could act this way.”
Suo Jun: “You raise a spoiled dog. When you are gone, it didn’t want to eat
anything, his temper turned worst. Looking at someone, it would just bark. It
seems to have deep feeling toward you.”
Song Yan: “Rubbish, I would raise it till it is big and great.”
Suo Jin says: “Yes, this dog’s feeling is complying to its owner.”
Song Yan is scratching the dog’s neck and raise his eyebrow: “Why do I think
that your words have a different meaning?”
Suo Jun makes fun: “I’m saying that you attach importance on feeling. Oh
right. Two nights ago a woman came to find you, she seems to be a doctor.
Song Yan bends his body and strokes the dog’s head, he seems to be
uninterested.

53
“At first I want to find her to leave me her contact’s information but she just
ran away.”
Song Yan raises his head: “She is not something important.”
……..
It’s raining today, it has been raining for three days. It’s getting better.
Xu Qin prefers extremely odious weathers, she likes to see everything rips
and destroys. Yet her colleagues don’t feel that way.
The time the weather is bad, the patients of the emergency room would
increase sharply. The hall, the consultation, observation, and injection rooms
are filled.
Xu Qin and her group has received seven major and minor patients of car
accident for three days. Among of them there’s a twenty years old man, he
stops breathing on the way to the hospital, it’s hard to reverse that
desperate situation.
The patient’s parents keep on crying and howling, they utter cries of
anguish, they beg the doctors to save the son.
The doctors and nurses use to see life and death, yet that time they feel not
used to it.
Xiao Nan is washing her hands inside the bathroom, she couldn’t help but to
wipe her tears.
Xu Qin asks: “What happened?”
Xiao Nan: “Before the death man is so young, his parents are too miserable.”
“Em.” Xu Qin is done with washing her hands, she wipes her hands and says:
“I’ll get of work first, see you.”
Xiao Nan is startled, she just watches Xu Qin leaves. Just in time, Xiao Bei
comes inside the restroom. “What are you looking at?”
Xiao Nan: “I just notice that Doctor Xu seems to never have any fluctuate
emotion.”
Xiao Bei takes the liquid soap: “You just notice about it today. Everyone in
this hospital has known about it. We never see she smiles or cries. When she
meets a miserable patient, she still could act calm; The time she has a tragic

54
case,she also never has any compassion; She never gets angry so I think a
person like her is most suitable to be a doctor.”
Xiao Nan is so confused: “Why are you thinking that way?”
Xiao Bei shrugs her shoulder: “Distancing yourself with a patient means that
you do your medical skill without any feeling. It means you are professional.”
Xiao Nan: “But I heard from Doctor Zhu Xian of burn department. Professor
Xu seems to have objection toward Doctor Xu. He doesn’t agree for Doctor
Xu to be resident physician.”
“Ay, why? Though she is not very friendly, yet she is reliable, working with
her is very relaxing. Other doctors should handle the personal relations. It’s
too troublesome.”
“It seems he feels that Doctor Xu has no kind-heartedness. I heard from
Doctor Yang Si Jia said that at first she and Doctor Xu were interviewed
together. Several heads of surgical department were there. Professor Xu Gen
asked, if a critically ill patient applies for transfer to your hospital to do
surgery. You judge based on his case the success rate is not high. Would you
accept him to be transferred and help him to treat the illness? Yang Si Jia sad
that she would, she said that our medial skill is very exquisite. We could help
patients that other hospital couldn’t help. She hopes that one day she could
be a doctor that could cure miraculous and bring the dying back to life.”
Xiao Bei: “Then what about Doctor Xu, what is her answer?”
Xiao Nan: “Doctor Xu said that she would not.”
Xiao Bei: “She didn’t say the reason?”
Xiao Nan: “She said it, she doesn’t want to ruin her career.”
Xiao Bei: “Wow, why is she so direct?”
Xiao Nan: “Exactly, Professor Xu that time crossed her form, no one
expected that she could get in. Moreover she is placed under Professor Xu.”
Xiao Bei is worried: “Then this time would Doctor Xu be promoted?”
…………
In the mid-afternoon, Xu Qin returns back to her apartment. She notices that
the window is open. The raindrops are coming inside and makes the wooden
flooring be so dirty.
55
She looks over and notices she has no mop, she even doesn’t have any dust
cloth. Now she has no way to call casual worker paid by the hour.
But she really couldn’t endure the messiness, she looks over and just takes a
new sweater and wipes the water on the floor.
Because of the rain, the temperature falls rapidly. Xu Qin is busy doing the
chores, she has a stuffy nose so she looks for a knit overcoat.
She sits on the sofa and lights on her cigarette. She looks at the window and
just day dreaming. When she is almost done to smoke it, she even doesn’t
notice it. She recalls that night she returned back from Shi Li Tai fire station.
Everything is normal, she is calm.”
After a while, her stomach grumble. She remembers that she just ate Xiao
Nan’s cake this morning. She hasn’t eaten anything. She just takes out her
phone to call takeaway. Meng Yan Chen just calls her.
“Qin Qin?”
“Yes.”
“Are you home?” Xu Qin’s work schedule is too complicated. Meng Yan Chen
knows about it clearly so he never disturbs her during the working hour, he
only cares for her when it’s resting time.
“I am.”
“It’s okay, I just want to remind you for a while. Tonight there is an early
warning of a rainstorm. Don’t run outside.” Meng Yan Chen is calm.
“I know.” Xu Qin says.
“Have you eaten?”
“No, I would call takeaway.”
Meng Yan Chen stops for a second and says: “I haven’t eaten anything too,
let’s eat together.”
Xu Qin: “Where?”
Meng Yan Chen: “Where do you want to eat?”
Xu Qin: “Jiang Zhi Chu.”
Meng Yan Chen smiles: “You never get tired of it.”
Xu Qin “I’ll get ready.”

56
Meng Yan Chen: “No need, the rain is too heavy. the road is too unsafe. I’ll
bring it over for you.”
Xu Qin: “They provide takeaway?”
“No.” Meng Yan Chen: “Wait for me.”
When it’s waiting time, Xu Qin cleans up the cigarette ash and the ashtray.
She goes to take shower and cleans herself up from head to toe. She
changes clothes and covers herself in blanket to rest.
After a while, Meng Yan Chen comes over. He holds a fine woven bamboo
meal box. There are stir-fry lotus root, garlic sagebrush, saute lotus seed,
steam perch, louts root spareribs soup.
It’s quite similar with Xu Qin’s taste. They eat the meal together.
When they are done, Meng Yan Cheng takes the bowls and plates to the
kitchen to wash it, Meng Yan Chen asks: “You have been living here for so
long, you never use your kitchen?”
“No.” Xu Qin looks at him. Meng Yan Chen starts to wash the dishes. Today
he is wearing a dark shirt.
Meng Yan Chen says: “Do you want to me to help to find A Yi to come over
and help?”
“No need, we have dining hall at the hospital. It’s also easy to call takeaway.
Meng Yan Chen says nothing else. He notices a kettle near the table. The
plug is in English style; He looks around and notices there’s also no other
kettle.
He suddenly says: “Qin Qin, you couldn’t take care of yourself, then what
should you do in the future?”
The room is silent, there’s only the sound of the rain outside.
Xu Qin sits and curls up her legs on the sofa, she looks at the window glass:
“The words that you said, have you forgotten about it?”
………
Meng Yan Chen goes to work, Xu Qin sleeps at home till 03:30 p.m. Then she
is waken up by Doctor Dong Yuan Yi’s call. He said that the department
receives a third degree case, 90% of his body is burnt. Wang Guo Dong, Xu

57
Ken, Gao Liang and several doctors are operating personally. It’s a rare
chance, so she is called to observe.
Xu Qin immediately goes to the hospital. The time her car comes out of the
apartment complex, the rain is pouring.
The time she arrives at the hospital, she enters the view and emulate room
beside the surgery room. The doctors, who are not working that day, also
come over to take a look at the surgery. Xu Qin looks for a corner seat to
seat. This time, Doctor Wang starts to do tracheotomy.
Xu Qin sits down there for almost six hours, she even doesn’t aware of the
passing time. At last the surgery is successful and everyone starts to leave.
Her next shift is tomorrow 08:00 a.m. At first she wanted to discuss the
detail of the surgery with the professors like the order of infusion, the choice
of the medicine, the estimation and time. Yet the time she considers about
how long have they operated, they should be tired. She decides to wait till
tomorrow so she just gets on her car and goes back home.
The whole parking are of the hospital has a layer of water. She doesn’t know
where is it coming from. Xu Qin is still busy thinking about the surgery so she
doesn’t mind much about anything else.
The car gets into the driveway and she still be absent-minded. She doesn’t
notice that the rainstorm is too terrifying.
When she was in the hospital for six hours, outside world is shaking, the
whole city is full of ponds of water.
The pedestrians are running on the platform bridge. The cars move a bit
slower, there’re also cars that stop moving in the middle of the muddy water.
Xu Qin notices that the puddle level is not right, the car has gotten inside the
middle of the puddle, she immediately lowers the speed and gets ready to
retreat, she needs to change into another lane, yet her car suddenly goes
dead. She couldn’t start the engine of the car. Behind her, another car
speeds up and couldn’t help to brake. It bumps her car’s back. It sends her
car two to three meters a head.
The rain is heavy. Through the wiper, Xu Qin barely see the familiar signs on
the road ahead, and suddenly realizes that this was a sinking underpass!
58
She immediately pulls up the handbrake, but the rain continues to wash
towards the bottom of the bridge, pushing the car down the slope.
Xu Qin undoes the seatbelt and presses the car window, she presses the
button to open the window, yet it’s not working. The door couldn’t be opened
too.
She takes out her phone and calls 110.
“Hi, 110 ——“
“Hi, I am locked inside the car that would go into the water, I couldn’t open
the door. I’m at Song Men bridge, a white BMW.”
“You shouldn’t be panic, for rescue please call 119.”
The time Xu Qin hears 119, she couldn’t respond and the call just ends.

Chapter 9
The water keeps on coming inside the car, it is dirty and cold. It makes Xu
Qin’s shoes turn wet.
Xu Qin squats on the chair and calls 119. She repeats her condition and
adds: “The car is about to slip from the bridge, the water starts to come
inside. It might fills with water in four minutes.”
“Ok, we have the nearest firefighter station nearby, we would contact them.
Please keep your phone on. Wait for us!”
“Okay.” Xu Qin hangs up and feels it’s hard to breath. She lowers her head
and hugs her own legs and let herself to calm down for a second.
The water has reached the seat. Xu Qin looks around and couldn’t find
anything sharp to break the window. She calls for help but it’s useless. The
sound of the wind and rain are too loud, no one seems to be able to hear her.
She yells for several times, yet no one answers she starts to lose her mind.
Along with the car gradually slips down toward the bridge, the inside of the
car starts to be dark.
The water has reached Xu Qin’s waist. The space inside the car is getting
smaller.
Xu Qin opens up Meng Yan Chen’s contact information. The time she is about
to call him, the car starts to move again, it suddenly speeds up to slip down.
59
Xu Qin is anxious, she knows that the sign this car will drop from the bridge
is clearer.
She suddenly knocks on the window: “Help!”
“Help!”
The sound of the rain and wind cover everything else.
She couldn’t look at anything.
Suddenly she sees a flashlight, she starts to scream. The flashlight comes
closer. She could see a man with broad shoulder slaps her car window.
Xu Qin sees his orange sleeve, he is a firefighter.
“Help!” Xu Qin slaps at the window.
That man wants to use the hammer to break the window, but the wheel has
left the ground, it’s not balanced. He hammers the window and the car just
revolves around.
Xu Qin falls from her seat. She starts to grab the seat to stand up. She raises
her head to take a breath.
Xu Qin is dizzy and eyes are dimmed. The car suddenly just stops because
something is blocking it.
Xu Qin suddenly pants, she looks forward at the tall figure. That man is
holding the car bumper, he stands in the front part of the car and uses his
strength to push it up and to stop it slides again.
That man stops for a while and seems to gather his strength. After a while,
the car could be pushed up. Suddenly a car rushes over and bumps with Xu
Qin’s car. It creates a great banging sound. The car slips again, Xu Qin is
drowning. That firefighter tries to push it again.
The car comes back to the ground. The rain still pouring heavily, but the
water inside the car has decreased.
Xu Qin feels feels afraid, she feels afraid that the car would slip again.
He quickly breaks the window and waves at her: “Come here!”
His hands are bleeding. Xu Qin climbs from the back to the front and holds
his hand. That man uses his other hand to protect her head. He holds her out
till she reaches the front of the car.
Xu Qin is unprepared and bumps into his chest, she enters his embrace.
60
That man’s shoulder is broad, his chest is full of muscles. It gives her a sense
of security.
Xu Qin is still badly shaken, she just hugs her rescuer tightly.
His body is stiffen.
Under the cold rain, the man’s body is hot and muscly. Xu Qin could smell
the scent of rain, sweat and water on him.
She feels his stiffness.
She raises her head and looks at Song Yan’s black wet hair, he is watching
her.
It’s really him.
Xu Qin’s face is pale: “Why is it you?”
“You have no choice.” Song Yan says.
Xu Qin: “I don’t mean that way.”
Xu Qin asks: “You were nearby? Why are you alone?”
Song Yan doesn’t look at her, he looks at the car. His temper is bad: “Do you
know how many car accidents in this area in an hour? D*mm*t, you know
that there’s a warning of rainstorm, how couldn’t you stay at home?”
He goes to the back of the car and suddenly knocks on the back of the car.
“Is there anyone else?”
No one answers.
Song Yan opens up his flashlight and takes a look at the inside of the car.
Inside the car is all water.
He just carries Xu Qin off the car, he holds to the shallow part of the water.
He says nothing.
Xu Qin leans on his embrace and her left hand is clutching his collar. Her
fingernails are on his neck.
“Move away.” He is impatient.
Xu Qin looks at him, he frowns.
Xu Qin doesn’t move.
Song Yan looks at her: “Do you believe that I could throw you to the water?”
Xu Qin looks at him, she knows him well. He would throw her inside the
water. Yet she wishes for perhaps she wishes for 10% of probability that he
61
wouldn’t, he would be reluctant to do it. So she just looks at her and doesn’t
move her hands away.
Under the dim light, his face is clear.
She looks at how his lips are straight, he looks like he is mocking him.
In a next second, Song Yan really throws her away to the water.
Pu Tong, there’s a spray of water.
She feels it’s okay, anyway her whole body is wet.
It’s so cold because of the wind blows so hard.

Chapter 10
Song Yan looks at her and shifts his gaze, he still stands there and pants. He
is tired and he feels like he would lose his temper soon.
Then there’s another car losing its control. It is moving toward them. Song
Yan swears toward that driver. He comes forward to take a look at the car
and notices there’s no one inside the car.
Song Yan checks through the car and sets up a warning sign. Xu Qin notices
that his arm is bleeding and just remembers that he helped her out by
breaking the glasses.
“You have injury on your arm.” Xu Qin walks toward Song Yan and at the
same time, his walkie-talkie rings. “There’s another series of car accident at
the main road near Qiu Shui lake. The third victim is stuck in the car…..”
Song Yan looks at Xu Qin, she is standing under the heavy rain. She is so
pale and weak. He tries to check her and determines that she is okay. His
duty is done so he turns his body to leave.
“Do you know that I was inside the car?” Xu Qin asks him.
Song Yan stops walking and doesn’t answer . His walkie-talkie rings again, he
doesn’t look at her and just leaves.
Xu Qin doesn’t stop him, she watches him take big steps to leave. He takes a
left turn and disappears in front of her.
The water has entered her phone, she couldn’t turn it on. Yet she doesn’t
need to have her phone on to know that the hospital would give her a call. In
this kind of weather, there would be emergency cases.
62
The car couldn’t be lifted up now, it’s lucky that the hospital is nearby. She
could just walk for ten minutes to return to the hospital.
The time Xu Qin arrives back at the hospital, it’s already 12:00 p.m.
The emergency hall is fill of waters and people. Three to four cleaning
services are cleaning the water up. Because people keep on coming and
going, the floor just turns clean and dirty in a mater of second.
Xiao Nan passes and notices Xu Qin, she is surprised: “Doctor Xu, why are
you looking at this? Did you fall into the water?”
“I just fell, it’s okay. I’ll go clean up first. Later on I’ll come back. Help me to
dry my phone. I don’t know whether I could use it again.”
“Give it to me.”
Xu Qin goes to the shower room of the hospital and washes herself, then she
changes her clothes. She returns to the emergency room and gets busy.
The rainstorm persists for the whole night.
The cases keep on happening.
The city is filled with the traffic police, armed police, firefighters, ambulance,
special police and medical workers cars’ lights……..
Countless people are trying hard to observe and guard the city that night,
they determine to not sleep.
The sky turns bright slightly, the rain starts to calm down. There’s no more
new patient coming to the hospital. The doctors and nurses finally could be
relieved.
Xu Qin passes the corridor when she comes out of the emergency room, she
notices several doctors are sleeping soundly while sitting on the ground.
The corridor is quiet.
Xu Qin walks soundlessly to the bathroom, she washes her hands three times
and raises her head. She looks at the mirror and notices that she has dark
circles under her eyes.
She returns to her office and notices that she is so thirsty. It’s been ten hours
since she drank water. She pours a cup of warm water for herself and drinks
it. She stands near the window.

63
It’s four o’clock in the early morning. The sanitation workers has started to
pick up the trashes and clean up everything.
She notices one of them is wearing an orange color uniform.
She recalls the moment he helps her.
Last night there’re should be few calls asking for help. Yet he still comes to
help her.
Xu Qin finishes her glass of water and goes to the resting room.
In just an hour and half, there would be her turn to work.
Last night most of the patients are coming to the emergency room for
accident and drowning cases.
Xu Qin is so busy to check up on them, she ends her shift at 06:00 p.m.. The
time it’s a change of shifts, she seems to have no energy even to walk. Her
car is still there. She gives a call to Xiao Yi Xiao and asks for his help to call a
trailer to drag her car. She takes taxi to go home.
On the way back home, the driver is listening to the news. The news anchor
reports:
“Last night there’s an exceptionally heavy rain, it creates a great disaster
and makes an economic damage of 91.1 hundred million Yuan….”
“Last night indeed the rain is so great. It makes everywhere turns into a
river.” The driver says, “ It should be hard for the police and firefighters.
They should be very tired. This morning when I went out, I saw a group of
firefighters supposedly they had duty nearby. Their body was so wet, yet
they didn’t seem to care. They just slept there on the ground. Their clothes
are muddy. Ah, their arms even bled—-“
Xu Qin doesn’t say anything, she doesn’t know whether the driver met Song
Yan.
Perhaps he was, perhaps he wasn’t.
In this big city, there are a lot of people like Song Yan.
Because of these kind of people, this city is safe and people could be
rescued. The next day everything returns to normal.
Xu Qin’s car has reported to be something as worthless. Meng Huai Jin buys
a new car. It comes by a week.
64
In the days before getting her new car, Xu Qin just takes a taxi to the car.
Everyday in that week, she keeps on recalling the sense of security she feels
being on his embrace.
On the sixth day, Xu Qin uses her connection to get Song Yan’s work
schedule and his condition in the group. They are trained in a military base.
Though he is working in shift but the unmarried firefighters should stay in the
camp to do daily practices. They should stay in the same camp and couldn’t
come out for day or night.
Every month, he would have three days off. He could come home but
couldn’t leave the city. At any time he should be on alert for awaiting order.
Xu Qin hangs up the call and stands on the balcony. She looks at Wu Fang
street.
In the afternoon 05:30 p.m., the sun sets.
She is waiting there silently.
After several minutes, the news comes by. Song Yan’s work schedule. Today
he is on the last day of his three days off.
Xu Qin turns her body to go out. She takes the elevator and exits the
building.
In just six cays, it seems to be the city is in another season.
There’re people are designing the garden.
Xu Qin looks around. She keeps walking and entering Wu Fang street.
She worms her way into the crowd. She passes everything… till she arrives in
front of Di family house.
The front door is left unlocked.
Xu Qin takes a look from the small crack and gets inside the courtyard.
The principal rooms (in a courtyard house, usually facing south) is locked. Jiu
Jiu and Jiu Ma aren’t home. Xu Qin passes the yard and steps on the
purplevine petal.
She walks to the room facing the west.
Xu Qin stands there for a second and wants to open it. Before she opens it,
she hears footsteps behind. Song Yan is walking toward his room with his
head hanging low. He notices Song Yan is in front.
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He smiles and examines her for half second, he smiles: “You are on the way
here?”
He should know that she come to look for her the last time.
Xu Qin looks at his eyes and says: “No, I come here for a special purpose.”
Song Yan: “Is there any problem?”
Xu Qin: “Last time you rescued me, I come over to thank you.”
Song Yan looks at her and sneers at her. “Just for this?” He goes to open his
door.
Xu Qin doesn’t retreat, they are standing so close with each other.
“Em, I come here to thank you.”
Song Yan leans on the wall and looks at her. “Then tell me, how do you plan
to thank me?”
Xu Qin never thinks about this matter, she just looks at him. “How do you
want me to thank you? I could do anything.”
Song Yan’s gaze turns dark, he looks at her and thinks for a while. He
suddenly stands up close toward her. His fingers stroke her neck. It is so
electrifying.
She stiffens and doesn’t move.
His fingers are rough, it comes upward till it reaches his ear. He asks
hoarsely: “You could do anything to thank me.”
Xu Qin shivers: “Tell me.”
“What if I say Yi Shen Xiang Xu (devote one’s life to me)? Em?” He uses his
fingers to tease his chin. She could smell the scent of his cigarette.
Xu Qin feels her legs are going weak. She bites her lips and says nothing.
Song Yan laughs. “If every woman that I saved wants to Yi Shen Xiang Xu,
then shouldn’t I be dead by now? Would it be your turn?”
He stands up straight and takes his hand away.
Xu Qin doesn’t say anything.
He just smokes and looks at her again: “How could you be so confident that
after years, I still would keep thinking of you, and want to sleep with you?”
His words are too harsh, it’s ruthless. It burns Xu Qin’s heart. Her face is
pale.
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Xu Qin shakes her head lightly: “Song Yan, don’t use that kind of tone to talk
to me.”
Song Yan is sick of it, his tone gets more serious: “D*mm*t, you still wish for
me to call you politely Meng Da Xiao Jie (Ms Meng)?”
His words are harsh and blaming her,
Xu Qin watches him, her eyes are red.
Song Yan straightens her lips and doesn’t continue to say anything. He turns
her head and looks at the woodworks around the courtyard. His face is
serious like he is thinking of something.
His eyes turn cold. He wants to say something much harsh, her eyes are
watery.
Song Yan just frowns and grits his teeth. He points at her with hatred and
warns: “Swallow it back. D*mm*, don’t play this trick with me.”
He knows that she is a cold and ruthless woman. She just turns gentle and
weak just for her goal.
“Do you hear me?!” He howls at her.
Xu Qin keeps on staring at him, her eyes keep on watering.
Song Yan is so furious, he hates that he couldn’t tear her mask. He comes
closer toward her and grabs her collar. He presses her toward the pillar and
scolds: “Stop doing your trick!”
Xu Qin bites her lips and looks at him. In a next second, her tears start to fall
down to his hand.
He seems to feel it and suddenly lets her go. He immediately retreats.
Xu Qin just stays there.
The courtyard is silent. They just stand there and don’t look at each other.
They say nothing.
At last, Xu Qin just says: “Song Yan, let’s get back together.”
Suddenly his phone rings.
He should return to the camp.
Song Yan doesn’t look back and just leaves.
“I already forget you since long time ago.”

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 Chapter 11
Song Yan, let’s get back together.
Xu Qin wakes up at the midnight and dreams of the time she said those
words.
This time she is much more sober. She said those words without really
thinking it through. If he agreed, what should she do next?
Could she dare to let her parents know? No, she doesn’t dare.
Could they last for a long time? Not likely.
Though she knows clearly that it is impossible but that day she seems to be
crazy, she likes so immersed in a longing to take him back. He is a driftwood
that could help her from drowning.
If she needs to choose, would she really give up everything, everything
about her old life and her family for him?
Xu Qin knows the answer clearly so the time he refuses her, she feels painful
and desperate yet somehow rejoiced for not need to change.
From the beginning till the last, she never be determined.
The night is silent. She thinks that time her face should be very ugly. Song
Yan should see that she was so ugly so he annoyed and despised her; so he
doesn’t willing to get back together with her. He even didn’t turn his head to
look at her.
In the early morning 03:00 a.m., she sits on the bed. The window is open so
it’s cold.
Xu Qin actually was born and raised in Southern area. Before she was ten
years old, she lived at Liang City.
Since she was young, her face is delicate and pretty. She has a beautiful
hair, her hair is in flax color like she dyes it. Everyone was so envious for her
beauty, and also her status. She is the daughter of major of the city.
Since she was young, she lived in a big mansion. She was educated well. But
suddenly her fine life was changed.
Papa Mama weren’t loving each other anymore. Everyday they kept on
fighting. Mama yelled: “Liar, Liar. I would report you.” Papa would yell back
at her: “If you couldn’t endure it, just divorce. what do you want?”
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Xu Qin doesn’t know what did Papa lie to Mama, she also doesn’t know what
Mama wanted. She never knows the answer of that question. Mama just
burnt their house that night. She burnt herself and her husband. Perhaps she
also wanted to burn the fruit of their love — Xu Qin.
But Xu Qin was rescued and sent to the orphanage. All the people were
gossiping about her. Everyone was looking at her with a strange gaze.
People at the orphanage didn’t like her, they loved to talk bad about her.
Sometimes she would fight and being punished to work or starve or couldn’t
sleep. A lot of people bullied her. “Xu Qin, where’s your expensive car? Why
there’s no one picking you up?” “Xu Qin, where is your Barbie doll?” “Xu Qin,
why don’t you wear your calfskin boots?”. They would use her Pa Ma’s story
and make a drama with it.
She turned to be quieter. She wanted to be an invisible person.
Till one day, Papa’s comrade, Meng Huai Jin and his wife, Fu Wen Ying,
appeared. He said: “Qin Qin, we come to get you home.”
The twelve years old Meng Yan Chen extended his hand and smiled toward
her: “Qin Qin, I am Ge Ge (big bro).”
That year she was just ten years old, Xu Qin moved to distant area on the
north.
Meng Huai Jin regards Xu Qin as his own daughter, he extremely loves her.
He and Xu Qin are like father and daughter. Xu Qin loves him like her own
father. Her foster mother, Fu Wen Ying, also showed her care toward her. It’s
just Xu Qin’s presence in the family made Fu Wen Ying paid more attention
between Meng Yan Chen and Xu Qin.
When Xu Qin just came into the Meng family, Meng Huai Jin was so busy with
his work, he really minded anything. Yet Fu Wen Ying was arrogant and
harsh. She is a woman with rules and standards. With unfamiliar Xu Qin, she
taught her harshly and ruthlessly. Day and night Xu Qin was trembling with
fear. She didn’t dare to make Fu Wen Ying dissatisfied, she was afraid that
she would be returned back to the orphanage. She didn’t dare to talk much,
she didn’t dare to go out of her room. Meng Yan Chen would accompany her
to carve her wood. He would accompany her for the whole day; at home, she
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didn’t dare to make sound as she was afraid that it’ll disturb Fu Wen Ying.
Meng Yan Chen used to close an open the door noisily and made Fu Wen
Ying angry; She didn’t dare to be picky toward her food, she didn’t dare to
choose what she likes, she also didn’t dare to eat too much. She was afraid
that Fu Wen Ying would think it’s costly to raise her. Meng Yan Chen would
take her to eat out, that time she would eat till she was full; She frequently
dreamt about her parents being burnt, how they yelled. She dreamt about
those bullies. She used to have difficulty to sleep. Meng Yan Chen just
accompanied her to draw.
Gradually they turned into teenagers.
Though they had a good relationship like real brother and sister but after all
they aren’t related. For avoiding anything to happen between them, finally
one day, Fu Wen Ying suggested to do the formal adoption process and
changed Xu Qin into Meng Qin. She wanted her in their household certificate.
Xu Qin wasn’t willing to do it, she sat there on the table and wiped her tears.
Though she loves Meng Papa, yet she wants to have the same name as her
father.
Meng Huai Jin couldn’t be ruthless, so he suggested not to change it. Though
he feels that though Xu Qin has different family name as him, she would still
be his daughter.
Yet Fu Wen Ying insisted.
Xu Qin finally agreed — Meng Yan Chen persuaded her.
A month after, Xu Qin suddenly proposed to go to the boarding school. Fu
Wen Ying let her go.
She stayed at the dorm. She wasn’t familiar with all the friendsMeng Huai Jin
was afraid that she would be bullied so everyone in the family sent her over
to the dorm. Meng Yan Chen also bought several snacks and drinks for her
roommates and friends to ‘buy their support’ for Xu Qin.
Yet it produced a little effect.
Xu QIn doesn’t like to talk, she always acts passive. Every female student
likes to gather together, yet she just likes to be alone.

70
After her family was gone, her roommates saw that Xu Qin had Sony
walkman, they looked what songs she has in it.
A female student asked her: “Meng Qin…… I never see this one. God, the red
one is much prettier than what’s on TV!”
“Could we borrow it?”
Xu Qin just nods.
“Yi, why do you only have classic music.”
“It’s okay, it’s okay, we should educate ourself with a good music.”
Those three female students were excited, Xu Qin just stayed there and
observed their happy faces.
“Meng Qin, is your family really rich?”
Xu Qin shakes her head: “Only Papa is willing to spend.”
“Before that young, tall and handsome boy is your Ge Ge?”
Xu Qin said nothing.
“Could you introduce him to me? He is my type.”
Xu Qin shook her head.
“Why you couldn’t, don’t be so stingy.” The female student asks.
Xu Qin raised her head and said seriously: “He wouldn’t like you.”
Everyone was surprised to hear it.
“What are you doing?”
“Right, you are too cruel.”
“I’m just joking. If you don’t want to introduce him, then don’t. Why should
you hurt our feeling.”
Xu Qin just holds her box and be silent.
“She even doesn’t explain herself, she is too much.”
For the first meal in the new school, she was also eating it alone at the dining
hall.
The first day of the school, she also sat alone in the corner.
The homeroom family’s name is Lu. The class started with introduction and
questions. Fifteen years old students were very noisy, moreover most of
them know each other. So the questions were varied and weird.

71
When the bell rang, Teacher Lu asked: “Everyone has introduced themselves
right then we…”
“Lao Lu!” A male student from the rear row yells, “That girl hasn’t.”
Xu Qin looked back and noticed that he was pointing at her. She looked that
male student was wearing a loose clothes. One of his leg was on the chair.
He pointed at her with his righthand.
The laughter stopped. Everyone was looking at Xu Qin.
Xu Qin looked at him silently, that male student just stared at her like he was
probing her.
Teacher Lu turned apologetic and let Xu Qin came up to the stage.
Xu Qin wasn’t nervous and not excited too. She just said calmly: “Hi
everyone. I am Meng Qin.”
She just introduced herself with a sentence and went off the stage.
Teacher Lu wanted to ask her to say more thing so he said: “Meng Qin, what
hobby do you have? Could you tell everyone.”
Xu Qin shook her head: “No.
Teacher Lu looked at the student: “Then do you guys have any question?”
It’s an absolute silent.
She was completely unimportant, what could they ask.
This time, that male student on the rear row spoke up again: “Which Meng?
Which Qin?”
Xu Qin: “Zi Min of Meng, Shui Xin of Qin.”
“You are really Guai (obedient).” That male student just smiled at her.
“Yan Ge (Brother Yan), you dallies with female student again.”
All the men start to laugh.
“Song Yan!” Teacher Lu scolded him again.
A student responded: “Song Yan also hasn’t introduced himself.”
Everyone cheered for that popular bad boy.
Song Yan doesn’t move: “Everyone should know me so I wouldn’t talk much
about me. —- Lao Lu, it’s the end of the class.” Then he goes toward the
door.
Everyone seems to be dissatisfied.
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“We haven’t asked him anything.”
He exited the door and only left Xu Qin the back of his figure.
After that Xu Qin had no interaction with Song Yan, she also just went to the
class and off the class. She would just return to her dorm after the class. She
did everything by herself.
But Song Yan had a lot of friends, male ad female friends. As long as he was
there, the classroom would be very noisy. Yet he rarely came to school, he
loved to skip the class, smoked, fought.
Yet that weekend after the class ended, without any sign, Song Yan stopped
Xu Qin on the way and declared that he liked her. Both of them stood there
for an hour and finally Song Yan gave in.
He was very unhappy and took out a cigarette to smoke. He just stayed
silent and smoked it. Then he glanced at her and showed an expression ‘you,
girl, aren’t sensitive’. He kept on looking at her and finally smiled. He raised
his hand and stroked her head. “Let’s go.”
Xu Qin walked and passed by his side. She heard him said: “See you next
week.”
He let her go, it didn’t mean that he set her free.
“See you next week, Meng Qin.” Song Yan said.
After Xu Qin reached home, she didn’t show any difference. She didn’t tell
what happened.
Yet on Monday, Song Yan didn’t come to the class.

Chapter 12
Monday, Song Yan didn’t come to the class.
Tuesday, he didn’t come. Wednesday, he still didn’t come. Thursday, he
also didn’t come.
Till the Thursday night, the time Xu Qin was tidying things up inside the
dorm and wanted to get ready to sleep. She heard someone climbed over
the wall. Then she immediately heard someone climbed the tree.

73
She walked toward the balcony, and pulled the curtain till it closed. Then
she saw that Song Yan was sitting on crotch of a tree and smoking a
cigarette. He raised his eyebrow toward her.
Xu Qin asked: “What are you doing here?”
Song Yan didn’t answer and just asked: “Kid, do you miss me?”
Xu Qin shook her head honestly; “No.”
Song Yan’s face turned stiff: “Think about it once more.” His gaze looked
dangerous and threatening.
Xu Qin said nothing and they both just looked at each other. After a while,
Xu Qin felt bored: “I’ll go inside.”
Song Yan: “Stop.”
Xu Qin stopped moving and looked at him without any expression.
Song Yan: “Go downstair.”
Xu Qin didn’t plan to do what he said.
Song Yan: “I’ll give you five minutes. If you don’t go down, I’ll go up. Even
if you are sleeping, I would drag you out.”
Xu Qin went downstair.
Song Yan stood beside the staircase toward the drill ground under the big
tree.
She came over and stood three meters away from him. She didn’t move
closer and just watched at him silently.
Song Yan also just watched her and didn’t say anything. He took out his
cigarette and smoked it. He smoked it while watching her too. Xu Qin had
no response.
Both of them were looking at each other without saying anything. Till Song
Yan finished smoking a cigarette. He then took something out from his
pocket and threw it to her.
Xu Qin took it and looked at it, it’s a pack of plum candies. It looked
common, yet Xu Qin’s heart boomed. It’s the plum candies from her
hometown, Liang City. No one sold it nearby.

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She didn’t know where did he get it, she also didn’t know whether he
knew that she was from Liang City. She raised her head to look at him. He
could see her surprised and puzzled expression.
His expression was cold, he was smiling proudly but quickly he just acted
normal.
Song Yan raised his chin: “Go back.”
Xu Qin looked at the pack of candies, then looked at him. It’s obvious that
she was full of questions. Yet she didn’t ask him and just turned her body
to leave.
Song Yan looked at her figure and suddenly felt it’s a unsightly scene. He
came forward, clutched her shoulder and turned her body away. He said:
“Take off your clothes.”
Xu Qin was startled.
He threw away his cigarette. he didn’t explain and just helped her to take
off her uniform’s coat —- Her uniform shirt was drawn a tortoise on it with
ink.
She was a transfer student, she didn’t like to talk, she had no friend. So
she was the target of bullied. The committee of the student didn’t find her
homework, but her homework was thrown away to the trash bin. She was
asked to do the class duties everyday.
Song Yan could know all of the tricks.
He clenched his fist: “Who bullied you?”
Xu Qin didn’t say anything.
“I’m asking you, are you mute? Ah?”
“I don’t know.” She lowers her head and says it with a low voice.
The next day of school, Xu Qin wore a very loose school uniform, on the
back of it, it was written: “Song Yan”
That day Song Yan stayed well-behaved at the classroom for the whole
day, for the whole day his gaze was fixed on Xu Qin. From time to time he
glanced at those ‘offenders’ who kept on approaching her.
No one dared to bully her again after that.

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Xu Qin considered whether Song Yan knows about it, that she especially
wore that school uniform and didn’t wash the tortoise drawing that day for
him to see it.
It’s okay whether he knows or not, anyway he still likes her.
She recalled what happened that night, does she like Song Yan?
No.
…………
The National Day is the second holiday beside Spring Festival which has a
lot of emergency cases than normal. Most of the cases are getting drunk
and food poisoning. Those cases keep being sent to the hospital.
Xu Qin feels nothing, she just regulates like a robot.
Xiao Nan is envious toward the outpatient department nurses that could
have holiday, she also ridicules the police and 100, who keep on sending
people with just minor injury. It’s a chaos in the emergency room.
It’s the last day for the long holiday, everyone is so nervous because the
last day usually is the day which a lot of car accidents would happen. The
broadcasting companies and the street signs have informed and warned
the driver to pass the speed limit, to not do drunk driving, not to drive if
they feel to tired. But there is still few people that don’t listen and follow
the rule.
It turns out that for the last day, the emergency room receives three
serious cases of car accidents. Xu Qin and her group need to do the
operation till 4:00 a.m in the early morning.
Xu Qin exits the operation room and bumps into the patient’s family
members, she feels her waist is in pain.
The family members are rushing toward Doctor Li and hearing the news
that the surgery is successful, they hold Xu Qin’s hands and thank her. Xu
Qin just retreats and leaves.
Xu Qin returns to her office room and writes the notes, the new-coming
nurse, Xiao Bei, also gets inside. She says: “It’s too touching”
“What is it?”

76
Xiao Nan explain: “Before the family members are kneeling and bowing to
thank Doctor Li, they keep on thanking her.”
Xu Qin writes on her note: “If they want to thank her, it’s better for them
to let Doctor Li back home to rest.”
Xiao Nan and Xiao Bei are used to Xu Qin’s words, they don’t feel that
there’s anything strange.
Xiao Dong couldn’t endure it: “Doctor Xu, the family members are
thankful for his work, they are thankful for the doctor’s effort, don’t you
feel it’s touching?”
Xu Qin just answers without raising her head: “They would forget it soon.”
Xiao Dong feels Xu Qin is really unbelievable: “How could it be? If a police
helps you, would you forget it soon?”
“I would.” Xu Qin says: “People are forgetful beings.”
Just like that rainy night, a firefighter called Song Yan, helped her. She
was so touched and felt that he was her hero by the time she was out. But
she forgot it, her life is so busy, she couldn’t keep on thinking of his merit
of rescuing her everyday.
Just like what’s happened between them, they used to have a lot of fine
memories, he could easily forget about her.
Xu Qin stops writing and pauses for a second, then she quickly writes
again.
“Have you ever meet a patient that come back again to thank the
doctor?” Xu Qin asks.
Xiao Dong is speechless, she looks at Xiao Nan; Xiao Nan just shrugs her
shoulder and shakes her head to express that she never meets one.
Xiao Dong is unhappy: “But to thank the doctor on the day, it should be
enough. Moreover, when you get their thank you, don’t you feel proud?”
Xu Qin raises her head: “For me, saving people, it’s my work and also
responsibility., that’s all. I am not a God, I’m also not the Savior.”
She says it and continues to write.
“You think that you are just completing and doing your job so you don’t
need other people’s deeply gratefulness?” Xiao Dong tries to make sense
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of her words. Though it’s quite conflicted toward what she has
experienced, yet it sounds reasonable, “Doctor Xu, your attitude, I’m very
respect—-“
“There’s something to add.” Xu Qin looks at her eyes again.
“If I couldn’t save him and he is dead. It’s also not my responsibility, it’s
not my mistake.”
Xiao Dong is startled. Xu Qin is really a cold and cool doctor.
“Doctor Xu, if the patient is dead, you really don’t blame yourself?”
“As a nurse, you should accept a fact: The study of medical science is a
study of science, there’s a limit on it. If the patient’s illness is exceeded
the limit of study of science, his death because of his own fate. I’m not
God, I’m just an ordinary person. I wouldn’t blame myself for other people.
……….
The time Xu Qin gets off the work, she passes the corridor. She is
surprised to see a group of firefighters are checking on the fire system.
She just remembers that few days ago, the hospital sends a manual book
about firefighting. They informed the staff that today, there would be a
course of lectures about it. Yet Xu Qin keeps on working so she doesn’t
attend it.
If there’s no disaster happens, no one would care.
Indeed Xu Qin goes to the conference room. Inside it everyone just talk for
few minutes and leaves.
The speaker is Shi Li Tai firefighting group political instructor, Li Meng. Her
subordinates are checking the hospital area and reporting back to her.
Most people are packing up to get ready to leave.
Xu Qin stands outside the room and looks around.
Li Meng smiles and asks: “Is there any problem?”
Xu Qin: “Are you guys from Shi Li Tai?”
“Right.”
“Is Song Yan here?” Xu Qin asks.
Li Meng is startled, she smiles and says: “We are the large group, he is
the squadron unit.
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Xu Qin just realizes: “Son the division of labor is not the same.”
Li Meng says: “The squadron is handling the actual combat like extinguish
a fire, rescuing, yet for educating people about disaster or inspection, it is
the large group’s duties.”
Xu Qin thinks about it and summarizes birefly: “So the dangerous things
would be handled by them, and the relaxed duties would be done by you
guys.”
Li Meng: “………..”
She couldn’t help but to sighs. This woman is too frank and direct.
“Thank you.” Xu Qin just leaves.
……..
People are forgetful beings.
Yes, Xu Qing thinks.
She doesn’t recall the scene of Song Yan rescuing her, perhaps because
she knows it’s a wasteful thing to do.
She also rarely remembers about Song Yan because she purposely avoids
to pass the fire hydrant on the corridor.
Feeling is an important thing, moreover she is good at adapting to
pressure. she could forgets old memories.
A ‘flower’ without fruit, though it could bloom beautifully yet when it’s
blown by the wind or rain, what could it do.
For the next two weeks, everything is peaceful and calm.
The spring feels like it’s just come and now it would end soon.
In the last week of October, the north area streets are full of ginkgo trees
with yellow leaves. That time, Xu Qin remembers Song Yan.
That time she is holding a cup of coffee and stands in that lively yet chilly
intersecting streets to wait for the red light to turn green. Under the blue
sky, the red light just flashes. She suddenly remembers the warning lamp
of the firefighters.
She thinks that happens should be because of her loneliness.
She follows the crowd to pass the street, she just puts that kind of longing
back to her mind.
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She gets into the hospital and wants to start the busy day ahead of her.
After the National Day holiday and two weeks of working normally, Xu Qin
and friends haven’t gotten their holiday. Xiao Nan starts to boast about
how tired she is. Anyway she feels that though she is in holiday, there
would be a doctor would help the emergency patients.
Xu Qin looks at her: “Don’t give me anymore trouble. I’m waiting to get off
the work.”
Xiao Nan roars: “Doctor Xu, you are really ruthless.”
They would start they holiday after this day. Ten minutes before their
holiday start, several people are resting.
Xu Qin takes an opportunity to go and wash her hands, Xiao Nan sighs:
“Doctor Xu, I never meets a doctor with an unhealthily obsession with
cleanliness as serious as you.”
Xu Qin: “How many minutes left before the getting off the work.”
Xiao Bei: “Eight minutes.”
Xu Qin: “I hope there’s no….”
Xiao Nan, Xiao Bei’s faces just change and starts to cry out in alarm for
her to stop: “Don’t talk that way!”
Xu Qin just shuts up and looks at both of them.
Xiao Bei pulls a long face: “That kind of words would be terrible when you
say it.”
Xiao Nan puts her palms together before one: “Pah, Pah, Pah, it shouldn’t
count.”
The time they are talking, Doctor Li comes over: “Doctor Xu, there’s a
major accident in the San Huan, you follow the ambulance.” She then
looks at the nurses.
Xiao Nan: “I’ll go.”
Xiao Bei; “I’ll go.”
Following ambulance to the accident scene is quite smooth and easy.
The accident happens near the city moat, A Ferrari exceeded the speed
limit and bumped a sedan and motorbike. It also bumped the railing and
entered the river.
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The ambulance stops nearby, the firefighters’ car also stop on the side.
Xu Qin gets off the ambulance; Song Yan is wearing his orange firefighter
suit and trying to help the victim.
Their eyes meet each other. But quickly they return to do their own
business.
In the westward, there’s a victim that is tossed out of the car. He is on the
roadside.
In the eastward, there’s a victim that is stuck inside the ruined car.
White ambulance cars, red rescue vehicles, both have their warning lamps
on. A woman with white doctor’s coat and a man with an orange
firefighter suit are there.

Chapter 13
The traffic polices and the polices have blocked the scene, yet there’re
masses of the people around watching the scene. There’re all sorts of
comments.
A police tells Xu Qin: “That one is the most serious injured one, she didn’t
fasten her seatbelt. She is tossed out of the offender’s supercar.”
Xu Qin runs quickly toward that seriously injured victim.
That victim is a young woman. In this chilly spring, she is wearing a thin skirt.
Her body is twisted in a strange form. Her whole body is full of blood. There’s
a pool of blood there.
Bleeding that way shows that she might not have a chance to live.
Xu Qin still checks on her pulse and pupil, she also touches her bone —
cervical vertebra, spine, thigh. Everything is broken.
Xu Qin stands up and says to toward the police: “She is dead.”
That police just sighs: “She is so young —“
Then suddenly there’s a screaming voice: “Song Dui (Leader Song)!”
They look over and notice the Ferrari has lost its shape and the offender is
stuck inside the driver’s seat.
The firefighters has no time to arrange their tools, yet the car starts to drown
slowly.
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Song Yan doesn’t care about anything, he just jumps and passes the fence
on the river. Then he just jumps into the river and gets into the out-of-shape
car.
The scrap iron gives out a intense click sound.
Everyone is watching and trembling with terror.
A police starts to click his tongue and say: “I’ll go and help!”
Xu Qin pursues her lips and looks back. She turns her body to leave. She
goes to check up on the another victim, who was on the motorbike. He is
wearing his safety helmet, his eyes are closed and he is laying on the
ground. He seems to lose his conscious, but his arms and legs are twitching
from time to time like he is entering a nightmare.
Xu Qin examines him and feels that beside scrapes, he has no other obvious
injury.
That man suddenly groans, he seems to regain his consciousness, yet he
couldn’t open his eyes fully.
Xu Qin asks: “Which parts of your body feel uncomfortable?”
The man just narrows his eyes and grumbles: “Doctor, I was tossed to the
ground and my head bumped the asphalt —-“ Then he just faints again.
Xu Qin takes off his helmet and notices that the helmet has cracks. She
examines that his head has no injury. For the time being, she could not see
whether he has another situation.
Xiao Nan packs up her sphygmomanometer: “His blood pressure is high.”
Xu Qin: “You and Doctor Lu take him to the hospital now.”
“Okay.”
They place the victim on the stretcher. Xu Qin then looks at the river.
Song Yan is still helping that offender out of the damage car. She couldn’t
see his face. She just could see his orange suit and silhouette —. He is
holding that person’s head on his shoulder to let him not drown.
A firefighter also comes over and helps him to share responsibility; the
political commissar and the rest team members are investigating the scene
and formulating how to rescue the another victim.

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The sedan car, where the victim is stuck, has lost its shape. The victim is
wailing. His legs are stuck and he couldn’t move it.
Three firefighters are sawing the car’s door. Xu Qin comes over to check up
on him, the driver has a fracture arm. Beside that, there’s no other obvious
injury. His chest and ribs are okay.
Xu Qin reminds the firefighters to pay attention to the artery on his thigh,
when they saw the car. Then she lets one of her colleagues to stay and she
just leaves.
This time she notices that the death young woman is still laying there. The
autumn wind is cold, it blows that woman’s pale’s arms and legs.
The polices are busy in checking their identities and protecting the public
order. No one cares about her. Everyone else is holding their phone or
sharing the photos on WeChat.
Xu Qin looks at those people coldly, those people seem to notice that it’s
inappropriate so they just put their phone away.
Xu Qin looks displeased. She takes a piece of white fabric and covers that
young woman.
The polices still couldn’t find their identities. This moment her family
members still don’t know about her death.
Xu Qin goes toward the river side and looks that several firefighters have
successfully retrieved the car to the ground. The car has lost its form and
shape. It’s hard to move the driver out of the car. So they just saw the car.
When everything is arranged well, Yang Chi just passes earwax to Song Yan.
The electric saw starts to move, it’s so ear-piercing. Xu Qin also wears her
earwax.
She frowns and keeps on watching, she goes to the car’s side. She looks at
the glass to check up on the fainted injured offender in the car. She glances
at the Song Yan. He is standing inside the water. He is holding a steel frame
on his shoulder, he bites his lips. His whole face is sweaty.
Xu Qin: “Pass me his hand.”

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Sogn Yan is holding the frame of the car with his right hand, his left hand is
holding the injured person’s head. He has no other hands, Yang Chi blocks
his back, there’s no space.
Xu Qin looks at this so she just extends her arm and takes the injured
person’s hand. The time she wants to take it, her hand passes the bits of
broken glass. Song Yan looks at it and says: “Take it back.”
She then takes her hand back.
Song Yan places the head of the injured person on his thigh and uses his hip
to hold it up. Then he bends his waist and takes the arm of the injured
person. Then he passes it to Xu Qin.
Xu Qin takes it and looks for clean skin to give injection.
The time she does it, she glances at Song Yan. Song Yan is looking at her too
and he frowns. It’s hard to fathom her gaze.
Their gazes meet and he just looks away.
Song Yan goes inside the car and holds the injured person’s body; Xu Qin
kneels too and uses her hand to hold the IV. Her other hand is holding the
victim’s wrist.
The sound of saw is still eye-piercing. After quite some time, it still feels like
there’s no progressing.
During the process, without any sign the time the car frame is cut with the
saw. The car breaks on the middle. All the firefighters are avoiding it. The
rear of the vehicle drowns swiftly and violently. The window of the driver’s
cab suddenly breaks off too. Without any preparation, Xu Qin’s whole body
also be lifted up because her doctor’s robe is hooked up on the window’s
frame.
Song Yan helps her by pushing Xu Qin, Xu Qin falls to the water, the needle
of the IV is broken.
Song Yan blocks the car, the body of the vehicle just sticks up and the sharp
bit of it slashes Song Yan’s back. It cuts open his protective suit.
Song Yan’s face twists, his lips are pale. He starts to sweat a lot again.
Xu Qin’s voice is no good, she looks and inspects. Song Yan doesn’t show her
his back. He says coldly: “You are not changing the needle?”
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Xu Qin doesn’t insist on moving forward, she still holds the IV. The needle is
broken. This time she should save the injured person.
The injured offender immediately being lifted out. Xu Qin also climbs out to
the shore. She changes the IV. When she is done, she follows her colleagues
to put the injured offender on the stretcher. The time she is about to lift it up
to the ambulance. She accidentally glances at the car, which has a lot of
blood.
Xu Qin looks around and notices the firefighters are done packing up. The
time Song Yan just gets on the fire engine car, she just rushes toward him.
Song Yan notices Xu Qin is approaching him, but he is too late to respond.
She already runs over and holds his arm. His back cloth is cut open. His back
has a deep and long cut.
Xu Qin is struck dumb, she doesn’t allow any explanation: “Go to the
hospital.”
Song Yan moves her hand away: “I’ll go.”
There’re lots of hospitals, there’s no need to go to her hospital.
Xu Qin looks at him for a second with a slight rage, he acts so casual and
relaxed. He acts like she is nothing.
Xu Qin nods: “Okay.”
The time she wants to leave, she hears Suo Jun yells: “Song Yan, what
happened to your back? Hurry up go with the ambulance!” Then he waves at
the medical staff: “Here, there’s an injured person here.”
Song Yan is impatient, he says: “On the way we also would pass the Lu Jun
hospital.”
“There’s an ambulance here! Go, do you want to delay the patient? Ah?”
The ambulance is waiting for him.
Song Yan just bites his lips, there’s no way out so he just runs over and gets
on the ambulance.
Xu Qin is helping Doctor Li to give emergency treatment, she doesn’t look at
him. The time the car moves, Xu Qin says to Xiao Dong. “Go over and treat
the firefighter a bit.”
Xiao Dong comes over and helps Song Yan to stop the bleeding.
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It’s a road of silence.
The time they arrive at the hospital, the patient is pushed out. His parents
turn out to have come and are waiting for him. They are crying and wailing
for him.
Xu Qin pushes aside the other people: “Move away.”
“You need to help him ah. He is just twenty three years old.”
Xu Qin and several doctors are just pushing the hospital bed: “Please move
away first!”
The time they enter the lobby of the hospital, the bed knocks on the stone. It
makes the sick bed bumps a while. The patient’s parents are so emotional:
“Be careful my son!’
It bumps into Xiao Dong and Xu Qin.
Xu Qin is losing her focus and and pounces on the bed, her hand
unconsciously holds the edge of a bed to manage her balance. She looks
there’s a danger. Between the push and shove before, the needle on the
patient’s hand is out. Her hand seems will hold that needle.
D*rn!
That moment seems to be prolonged, yet it is short. She wants to avoid that
needle but her body thinks it’s too late.

Chapter 14
Xu Qin couldn’t control her body, she could see that her hand almost
touches the pointy of the needle, suddenly there’s a hand clutching her
and pulling her back.
Her heart is beating so erratically.
Yet the nurse beside her, Xiao Dong, has no person to help her. Xiao
Dong’s hand touches the needle. She screams and takes her hand back
quickly. Her fresh blood seeps out of her finger.
The family members look at this and feel so surprised.
The doctor and nurses push the bed, Xu Qin asks the nurse. She says:
“Later on give me his blood result.”

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Then she looks at Xiao Dong, Xiao Dong is still watching her finger and
stands there stupidly. Xu Qin pulls her to her side; “Hurry up and wash it.
Go to the infection department and then to the observation room to wait.”
The family members keep on apologizing to Xiao Dong, Xiao Dong just
tries to straighten her face and wants to say that she is okay. But actually
she feels very afraid, wronged and angry. She doesn’t say anything and
just leaves with her red eyes.
After this sudden accident.
Xu Qin turns her head and looks at Song Yan’s eyes. Before he was the
one that pulls her.
Song Yan looks at her with his indifferent gaze and leaves.
Xu Qin chases after him and clutches his sleeve.
Song Yan stops and sighs. He turns his head to look at her, he acts rudely.
His words are ridiculing: “Do you want repay my kindness again?”
Xu Qin shakes her head and points at his back: “Let me treat your wound,
other doctors are busy.”
Song Yan: “You mean that I have no choice?”
Xu Qin: “Last time you helped me, I also didn’t choose.”
…………..
During the surgery, Xu Qin sits down on the chair and just wears her
mask. She says: “Take off your clothes.”
She looks back. Song Yan is standing in front of her and watching her. He
takes off his protective suit quickly. He has a green army thin t-shirt inside
it. It’s wet and sticky on his body. He takes it off.
Xiao Bei and Xiao Xi are startled to look at him. Their faces turn red. Xu
Qin has worn her mask so no one could see her expression. She just
blinks.
This man’s body is wet, he is tall. He is so muscly and sexy.
Xu Qin couldn’t help to look for a while and looks away.
Song Yan smiles lightly and turns his body to lay on his stomach on his
body and cooperates to let her to treat him.

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Xiao Bei and Xiao Xi are blushing heavily, Xu Qin is silent and looks at
them for a while till they regain themselves.
Xiao Bei comes over to help Xu Qin to treat Song Yan’s injury. Xiao Xi
stands on the side and writes the notes.
Xu Qin uses a ruler to measure the wound. “The right side of the back: 3
cm deep, 13 cm long, the most wide one 2.5 cm.”
Xiao Xi writes it down.
“The cut wound, inside the wound there’s painted fragment, iron
shavings, water grass……”
Xiao Xi is in pain when she hears about it, she couldn’t help but to raise
her head: “How did it happen?”
Xu Qin doesn’t answer, she just recalls the moment Song Yan pushed her.
The broken car frame slashed his back.
Song Yan is laying on his stomach on his back, his head is buried inside
his arms. She couldn’t look at his face. She could only see the wounds.
She regains herself and takes the tweezer to treat and clean his wound.
The time she just wants to pick the painted fragment, Song Yan’s body
suddenly shrinks a bit.
Xu Qin could feel it though she wears her glove.
But very quickly, he turns calmer
Xu Qin stops for a second and asks: “Are you sure you don’t want any pain
killer?’
Song Yan says: “Em.”
Xiao Bei and Xiao Xi open their eyes big and look at each other. No right?
The time it’s done cleaning, and disinfected, the wound needs to be
stitched. It would be so painful.
Xu Qin doesn’t persuade him, she just continues.
This surgery just like the normal surgery she does.
Every time the tool gets inside the wound, his back muscles would strain
and taut. She feels from her fingers. It goes through her heart.
She keeps on reminding herself: The one that in front of her is a living
person that could feel the pain.
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She couldn’t help but to doubt that he does this purposely to build a kind
of effect.
At the last part of stitching, Xiao Xi and Xiao Bei have finished their duty
to help. Xiao Xi’s phone keeps on vibrating, she takes look at it and her
face just changes. She looks at Xiao Nan to signal something then they
just leave.
Xu Qin doesn’t mind them, they know the rules very well. They wouldn’t
just run away if there’s no emergency case.
Inside the surgery room, there are only Xu Qin and Song Yan left. The
room is silent and only has the voice of stitching.
Without her knowing, she also start to sweat.
She suddenly says: “Are you awake?”
Song Yan: “Em.”
It’s obvious that he doesn’t want to chat with her.
They both are speechless.
She looks at him, his hair is sweaty and wet. He is enduring the feeling of
pain.
Xu Qin says: “Today thank you for your help at the river before.”
Song Yan says: “It’s my work duty.”
Xu Qin asks: “Before pulling me from the bed is also your work duty?”
Song Yan moves and doesn’t answer.
In a small space, it’s really a very depressing silence.
Xu Qin cuts the thread and says: “It’s done. Answer me.”
Song Yan is so sweaty, he sits up and says with a controlled rage. “Xu Qin,
what do you want?’
Xu Qin: “What?”
Song Yan looks at her: “How could you act strangely, you ran to my house
and requested to reconcile with me, what do you want? Em? get back
together?” He ridicules her, he despises her: “Have you think carefully
about it, how could you just come and say to get back together?”
Xu Qin looks at him. He is full of rage. He strokes her face and pulls down
her mask. “How do you want to get together, em? Just accompany you to
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play around? When you are done, you just kick me out? What do you
want? Do you think it’s interesting to fool around? I’m asking you, do you
feel it’s interesting?”
Xu Qin is provoked by him, ‘Heh” she laughs coldly and gives tit for tat at
him. “Do you think it’s interested? You have forgotten me a long time ago,
why should you care about me? The car would break down soon, why
should you push me away….”
“That is my job!” Song Yan cuts her off.
Xu Qin answers back sarcastically: “What about the time you pulled me in
front of the bed sick?!”
Her sentence chokes Song Yan.
Song Yan straightens his lips and blinks toward Xu Qin. His face shows his
boiling rage.
Xu Qin: “Why don’t you answer me? Tell me ah.”
He just bites his lips and doesn’t answer her.
His silence makes her laughs coldly. She starts to ‘press on at every
stage’, and doesn’t want to defer politely: “You don’t dare to say anything
more? You pulled me because of your work duty?”
“No.” Song Yan looks and answer her.
“What is it then?” She doesn’t willing to let it go.
“After all I used to like you.” Song Yan says.
Xu Qin feels like she is stabbed with a knife.
The answer is exceeding her expectation, she feels that her hope is
growing for a while, and very quickly it starts to snow.
“used to”, it’s already passed. It’s so ruthless.
Xu Qin is losing her mind and just regaining herself. She wants to laugh
yet it doesn’t make any sound. She has nothing to say.
Song Yan finishes his words then takes his phone. He goes outside the
room. He looks tired. All along he doesn’t look back at her even for a
while.

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Xu Qin sits there for quite some time, then she just takes off her gloves
and throws it to the rubbish bin. Her mask is still hanging on her ears. She
also throws it away.
………………..
Xu Qin finishes washing her hands, she wipes her hands while coming out
of the restroom. On the corridor, she encounters the man, who is the
victim of the accident that wore a safety helmet and was on the
motorbike. He is stroking his back of head.
Xu Qin: “You were in accident, you were—“
That man looks at Xu Qin and recognizes her. He laughs at her: “You were
the doctor that saved me right?”
Xu Qin frowns: “Where are you going? You should stay and get rest.”
The man just strokes his head: “I did CT before, overall check up, I’m
okay. I should go back and work again.”
He was tossed quite far yet he is quite well.
Xu Qin: “Your safety helmet is broken, remember to buy a new one.”
“Okay.”
“Have you talked about the compensation?” Xu Qin asks.
“Compensation?” The man thinks about it. Then he says happily: “They
paid for the hospital fee, they also paid for my motorbike’s reparation. It’s
enough. I’m okay, I’m not in pain so no need anything else.”
He says it and just leaves happily.
Xu Qin looks at him leave.
Xu Qin then goes to the observation room, Xiao Bei notices her.
Xiao Bei shows her tragic expression. “Doctor Xu!”
Xu Qin: “Where did you with Xiao Xi before?”
Xiao Bei looks around and pulls Xu Qin closer: “The patient before, the
offender before, his blood result is out. He has positive HIV, AIDS.”
Xu Qin is startled.
Xiao Bei is so furious, she bites her lips: “His parents know about it, yet
they just hide it. Because he loses a lot of blood, without waiting for the

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blood result, Doctor Li and her group of nurses are inside the surgery
room.”
Xu Qin: “They are still in surgery process?”
“Right, no one dares to inform them. We are afraid to make them scared.
We change each one of them one by one. We ask the substitutes to wear
more gears and do more protective steps.”
It sounds like danger lurks on every side.
Xu Qin is silent for a while, then she asks: “Where is Xiao Dong?”
Xiao Bei’s face changes to nervous expression: “She is crying crazily. ——
We need to wait for antibody health checkup till Saturday. These days
supposedly would be hard on her.”
Xu Qin is speechless.
If it’s not because of Song Yan’s help, the one that touches that needle
will be her. This moment she would be the one that have high chance to
be infected.
Song Yan ——
Xu Qin’s heart turns worried. She suddenly recalls the moment before. —-
he was inside the water and holding the car frame, he holds the offender’s
bleeding head. His back has wound.
A lot of firefighters also help, some of them might have injuries. …..
Xu Qin immediately be shocked, she feels her whole body turns cold.

Chapter 15
Xu Qin walks faster and passes the corridor, she takes out her phone and
calls the infection department. She reports the condition: “There were four
to five firefighters inside the water before. Some of them might be hurt.
Please let the emergency center colleagues to contact the firefighters. —-
Em, okay, let’s get in contact again if there’s something else.”
She hangs up, she then immediately wants to contact Song Yan, yet she
notices that she has no his phone number.
Sooner or later he should get that information, she shouldn’t be too
worried.
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She plans to take a look at Xiao Dong, she passes one of the sliding doo.
She notices that Song Yan is inside the room. She thinks that she is
wrong, she takes another look. It’s really him — He is sitting down on the
bedside. He has changed his t-shirt and now he is wearing his coat.
Xu Qin pushes open the door, she notices that Song Yan is frowning as his
action pulls his scar.
Xu Qin wants to come over to help, but there’s a woman coming over
from the curtain of the bed. It’s the inspector of firefighter, who had come
over to do investigation, Li Meng. It’s obvious she is coming over to bring
Song Yan’s clothes. She approaches him and helps with his coat and
collar. Then she also kneels down to zip his coat.
Xu Qin stops. Song Yan seems to notice her.
Xu Qin stands on the rear of the bed. She watches him coldly.
Li Meng just realizes someone is coming inside the room, she immediately
lets go and goes to the side. She wipes the corner of her eyes and the
time she turns her head, her eyes are red. She forces a smile toward Xu
Qin.
Song Yan looks at Xu Qin and asks: “What is it?”
Li Meng feel that Song Yan’s tone is hostile, she pushes him lightly and
apologizes to Xu Qin: “He always acts this way. He doesn’t have a good
temper. Doctor, please don’t take offense.”
Xu Qin just shows her polite expression and says: “It’s okay.”
Song Yan is too lazy to mind her, he takes out his cigarette box to smoke
it. He puts a cigarette on his mouth and wants to light it on.
Xu Qin says; “In the hospital you couldn’t smoke.”
Song Yan glances at her and just plays with the lighter.
Li Meng comes forward and take the cigarette from him: “Listen to the
doctor.”
Song Yan looks at Li Meng.
Li Meng just blushes and somewhat a bit at loss about what to do. “Just go
outside and smoke.”

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Song Yan looks at her and suddenly turns soft. He smiles: “I’ll listen to
you.” Then he puts away his lighter.
Xu Qin stands there and says nothing.
Facing this kind of situation, she keeps on being silent. She couldn’t run
away, she just stands there. She is so busy today, her thought is a bit
numb. Even her heart is pain but she couldn’t feel it.
This man clearly accepts any coo from another woman.
Lin Meng feels that Song Yan’s gaze is unpredictable but the next second
when he said “listen to you”, she feels happy. She laughs secretly. She
looks at Xu Qin and just withdraws her smile. She asks her politely:
“Doctor, is there any problem? Is there anything that he needs to do? Do
you want to check on his injury?”
Xu Qin shakes her head: “No need for now. Four days later he should
come over to do check up again.” Then she just passes a form to Song
Yan. “These medicines, taken orally and external use only.”
Li Meng of course intercepts to take it. She says to Song Yan: “I’ll go and
take the medicine.”
“Let’s go together.” Song Yan stands up and takes all of his belongings on
the table.
Xu Qin is not stupid nor she is feelingless. She could feel that he doesn’t
want to stay for a long time with her. He doesn’t want to interact with her
alone.
She has known it from a long time so she has prepared to be hurt.
The corridor is very narrow, Xu Qin doesn’t move away. Song Yan just
passes by him and knocks over her shoulder.
Xu Qin sways lightly and says: “Stay, I have something to you.”
She turns her head and Song Yan also turns his head: “Talk here.”
Li Meng stands on the door and looks at both of them together.
Xu Qin glances at Li Meng and looks at Song Yan, she says: “I think it’s
better to chat alone.”
Li Meng smiles easily: “Then I’ll go and take the medicine first.” She even
closes the door like she is so relieved.
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Song Yan walks and leans on the rear of the bed, “Say it, what is it.”
Xu Qin just gets into the point: “The injured person that you guys saved in
the river, he has an infectious diseases.
“What kind of disease?”
“HIV.”
Song Yan pauses. He takes out his phone and walks toward the window.
He wants to give someone a call.
Xu Qin says: “I’ve contacted your group. There would be checkup.”
Song Yan puts away his phone: “Okay.”
He frowns and stands there for a while. Xu Qin couldn’t make out what he
thinks. He takes out his cigarette and starts to smoke it.
This time, Xu Qin doesn’t stop him.
Xu Qin wants to give him time to digest this situation, she asks: “Except
your back, do you have any more injury?”
“No.” Song Yan acts so calm.
Xu Qin recalls: “That car was in the water, there’s no blood on the water,
Your back was injured but your back didn’t touch the water right. Did you
touch anything bloodied?”
“No.”
“If no, then the infection rate would be very small.” Xu Qin sighs.
“I know.” Song Yan smokes his cigarette: “I should be okay.”
“I thought there’s a team member, who had injury in his hand.”
Xu Qin says nothing.
Song Yan asks: “How about that young nurse?”
Xu Qin: “Her mood is not very stable.”
Song Yan nods and doesn’t comment anything.
Xu Qin: “No matter what, after six weeks, you guys should come over to
our infection department to do a check up.”
“Okay.” Song Yan answers shortly.
“It’s okay.” Xu Qin says then goes outside. Song Yan also gets ready to
leave. He throws away the cigarette to the rubbish bin. Xu Qin stops and
doesn’t move.
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Xu Qin couldn’t help but to ask him: “That woman before, she is your
girlfriend?”
Song Yan asks back: “Is it related to you?”
“Heh.” Xu Qin laughs and says: “If you have a girlfriend, the time you
rejected me, you should tell me that ‘I have a girlfriend’. It’s enough. You
said a lot of unrelated and unimportant thing. You blamed me, You were
quiet hypocrite.”
Song Yan looks at her with unthinkable gaze, he lowers his head and
smiles. He is speechless. At last he just mocks: “Matter between us, you
could just discuss it between us, why should we implicate another
person?”
“The problem between you and me is because I left you right? You feel
that I’m wrong, I also think that you are wrong. That time how old we
were, we couldn’t support ourselves. That time could I just run away with
you and abandon my parents? Could you be more mature!”
Song Yan laughs; “You are mature, so now you stand here and talk
nonsense with me?”
Xu Qin says and warns: “Song Yan, don’t talk with me with that tone.”
Song Yan feels that she is too unreasonable, he feels so in rage: “What
kind of tone you want me to talk you with? Talk with you like I’m cooing
my sweetheart?”
Xu Qin: “You said that we should talk about what’s between us, you are
the one that says it. Now should we consider this matter on its merit, and
not sway by personal feelings?”
“I get what I deserve.” Song Yan says coldly. “Then tell me if you stand
from my point of view, why should I reconcile with you? Xu Qin, that year
you kicked me away like you kicked a dog! Tell me —“ Suddenly he says:
“— huh” He couldn’t say it anymore.
He recalls what happened back then.
“I feel it’s useless to talk with you about it now. You just think of yourself, I
would say nothing to you.”

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Xu Qin laughs coldly: “What do you want? You want me to cry and admit
my mistake to you, how I regret to break up with you?”
Song Yan: “No need, you never regret it.”
Xu Qin: “Yes, I never regret it. If I need to choose again, I would make the
same choice. If it’s you, wouldn’t you——“
“It’s unimportant of what you chose in the past.” Song Yan cuts her off.
“It’s meaningless now.” He looks at her eyes and asks: “Now what is your
choice?”
Xu Qin is startled, she is speechless.
They both just look at each other.
Suddenly Song Yan just laughs: “I just know it.”
“Letting your mood off, but it’s still meaningless.”
He leans on the window and looks at the window. He says: “You tell me to
be mature, but you are childish too. Now we could just nod whenever we
meet like adults? Why should we keep on pondering on trivial matter?
Em? You know nothing, you are like tearing a wound apart. So next time
we meet, maybe we don’t even need to nod.”
Xu Qin’s face turns pale. Song Yan continues:
“You talk all of this to me, simply to want me to understand your difficulty.
Okay, I understand you now. But understanding is not the same as
reconciling. If we reconcile, next time if there’s a problem, you also
without any doubt makes the same choice. Xu Qin, I’m a person that
would be thirty soon. I’m not old, but not young anymore. For some
heartbreak, when I was young, I could get it through. I would recover
quickly. But at this age if it happens again, it might make me lose my
life.”
Song Yan keeps on talking.
“The matter of feeling there’s no right or wrong; You said that you are not
wrong, I agree; You are right for the road you choose, you should bear the
consequence and go on.”
Xu Qin stands on the ground and doesn’t move.
Song Yan walks toward the door.
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The time he passes her, Xu Qin still doesn’t want to let him go. “You really
hate me?”
“No.” Song Yan says. “I don’t hate but I also don’t want to have anything
to do with you.”
Why, it sounds better than saying that he hates her. But now she feels
that it’s too dull, she couldn’t grab anything.
The time Xu Qin feels her heart is so in pain, Song Yan stops in front of the
door. His back is facing her, he holds open the door and stand there for
ten seconds. Then he says: “I am wrong too.”
“I couldn’t give you a lot of things you want. I am lacking of that ability,
I’m very sorry.”
Song Yan leaves.
Xu Qin stands there for a while. she places her hands on her pocket. Her
fingers are clutched tightly. She feels it’s hard to breath, she opens up her
mouth. She tries to breath slowly. She feels her heart would explode soon.
She stands there and tries to calm her breath. She exits the room and
passes the corridor. She notices that Li Meng has gotten the medicine and
waits near the front door. Song Yan walks toward her and Li Meng smiles
at him. Both of them leave.
Xu Qin keeps on watching them, she is wondering whether he would look
back or not.
But he doesn’t turn his head around.
Xu Qin walks toward the restroom, she switches on the water tap. She
starts to wash her hands roughly. One by one. She keeps on scrubbing it
till it turns red then pale.
She doesn’t feel her hands are in pain, but she feels something itchy on
her face. She raises her head and touches it. It is a hot tear.
It’s a different kind of tear than last time when she cried in Di family
house.
This time she couldn’t control her tear.

Chapter 16
98
The news of the injured man with HIV virus, spreads quickly. Several
firefighters are coming to the infection department of the hospital to
register and have a check up. The incubation would take around six
weeks, so they need to do checkup result in six weeks.
There are several suspected people. A lot of suspected people also have
injury on their hand, especially Jiang Yi, he has a big injury on the back of
his hand. That time he didn’t care about his injury and just helped to carry
the man out.
Who knows now he has a chance to get AIDS.
This makes the mood among the firefighters to be gloomy.
A group of young firefighters are sitting side by side on the hospital
corridor, they are looking at the ceiling.
Song Yan comes over and strokes each of their heads. “Keep your spirit
up.”
Jiang Yi sits down on the end of the row, Song Yan walks toward him. He
leans on the wall and pats his shoulder: “It’s not decided yet, maybe you
are not infected.”
Li Meng also starts to comfort them: “Don’t be too worry. Everything
would be alright.
Somehow that kind of comfort is a bit useless.
Yang Chi grumbles with anger: “I’m okay, but Jiang Yi — what if he is
infected. This disease couldn’t be treated.”
“D*mm*t, how could we experience this kind of trouble?” Xiao Ge also
swears.
Jiang Yi just comforts everyone: “It’s not that serious. Moreover, the
chance is low.”
He laughs dryly. Everyone knows that he is still anxious.
Everyone starts to talk at once. Song Yan leans on the wall and turns
silent for a while. Then she speaks up: “If you are really infected then just
go abroad to treat it. You could treat it with most modern treatment. Then
you could live for more ten years. You would get better.”
Yang Chi: “But it requires a lot of money, how could he get better?”
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Song Yan glances at him and looks at everyone else: “If one of you are
infected, I would take you to the offender and discuss with him. If it’s not
good enough, I would report it to the government administration asking
for the compensation for injury suffered during working time. I would take
care of it.”
It’s a compete silence. Everyone is watching Song Yan.
Jiang Yi: “You could do that?”
“You could say this job is wasting life, everyone has neither complaint nor
regret. Even if we need to sacrifice, I believe that you guys wouldn’t even
frown. But whoever life shouldn’t be belittle, understand?”
Song Yan: “What are you guys looking at?”
Jiang Yi raises up both of his thumbs, he looks at Song Yan with real
admiration gazes: “Ge (Bro), your Qigong is 280 cm.”
Xiao Ge raises her hand: “380 cm.”
Song Yan is confused: “What do you mean?”
Jiang Yi laughs: “It’s internet colloquial, you don’t like to browse. Of course
you don’t understand it.”
Song Yan: “It seems that I need to confiscate all the phones.”
Everyone starts to howl: “Don’t!”
Song Yan: “Okay, let’s go back to the camp.”
“Okay.”
Everyone starts to walk toward the exit.
Li Meng stays on the back side and says to Song Yan: “I need to report
this matter to our superior. The suspected firefighters couldn’t go on
duty.”
Song Yan: “I know.”
The other firefighters get on the car first.
Li Meng and Song Yan exit the hospital. Li Meng looks for her car key. “Let
me send you back.”
Song Yan says: “No need, I could go by myself.” He said it then takes the
plastic bag from her.
Li Meng looks at his expression and suddenly: “Is it her?’
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Song Yan is confused: “Em?”
“Your ex-girlfriend.” Li Meng asks: “That Doctor Xu, it’s her right?”
Song Yan narrows his eyes at her and doesn’t answer her question
directly, he seems to determine where she got that information.
Li Meng smiles forcefully: “Before at the observation room, when I helped
you put on your clothes, you didn’t respond. You also didn’t stop me. I just
knew that you were thinking of someone else. — You could be sure that
footsteps was her?”
A woman’s sensitivity is very terrifying.
Song Yan looks at her and finally understands: “No wonder without any
authorization, you took initiative to pull the cigarette from my mouth.
Huh.” He smiles without any intention to smile, “For making her angry?”
He feels that this is getting absurd, he laughs: “Li Meng, don’t you think
you are childish?”
LI Meng looks at how protective he is toward Xu Qin, she is sad and a bit
furious: “You still like her? I am really —— I mean, she makes little of you,
why should you bother? Are you looking to be mistreated?”
Song Yan’s face changes: “Di Miao told you?”
“Is it important to know who told me?” Li Meng looks at him, she looks
miserable. “You are a good man, why should you be devalued by her and
be despised? Look at how angry you are with me. Right, I’m a bad person,
I purposely helped you with your clothes and took away the cigarette. I
just wanted to provoke her. I want her to know that a lot of women like
you ——“
“Li Meng,” Song Yan cuts her off: “If you keep on talking about it, this
would have no affect.”
Li Meng straightens her lips, her face is blushing red and her eyes open so
big at Song Yan. She also tries to figure him out. She is afraid that he
would be angry, but she feels unhappy about it. She says: “I am really
angry for and to you, couldn’t you be more mature? Why should you act
like you are sending yourself to be mistreated. Song Yan, couldn’t you be
more stubborn?”
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Song Yan feels confused how should he act, he feels that her words are
getting unreasonable. “Li Meng—-“
“Would you get back with her?” Li Wen asks, “Being together with
somehow that look down at you, wouldn’t it make you unhappy?”
Song Yan: “Just end it right here.”
Li Meng is sensible, she just shuts up.
“You care for me, I thank you for it. But ——“ Song Yan gradually
withdraws his smile: “For what happened between me and my ex-
girlfriend, no matter it was good or bad, but it’s not up to other person to
intervene, understand?”
Li Meng is a good woman, she is a sensitive one. Though his tone is not
too serious but his words clearly are still protecting Xu Qin. It makes Li
Meng blushes and her eyes are red.
“I’m sorry. Okay. I know I am wrong. But I couldn’t help it.”
Song Yan looks at her and sighs. He takes out a cigarette and smokes it.
He looks back at Li Meng, Li Meng is still standing there with her head
hanging low.
Song Yan asks: “Have I ever tell you that we are impossible?”
Li Meng nods.
“You asked me why should I bother, then why should you bother too?”
Song Yan looks at her: “Why should you lecture me about it.”
Li Meng raises her head: “You don’t like me, you like someone else, I also
have no way. But couldn’t you find the one that treats you better so I
could accept my defeat?”
Song Yan breaths out: “D*mm*t, you even want me to help you accept
your defeat.”
“Let’s go.” Song Yan says to her, then he just takes taxi to leave.
Inside the taxi, he calls Di Miao.
“Ge (Bro), what is it? Why do you have time to call me?”
Song Yan’s mood is bad, he also doesn’t want to talk b*llsh*t with her:
“Next time, don’t tell about my past with other people or else I break your
leg.”
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“What is it?” Di Miao couldn’t remember it: “Why do you want to break my
leg?”
Song Yan asks: “What did you tell Li Meng? Is that something that you
should tell her?”
Di Miao defends herself: “Meng Meng Jie (Sis Meng Meng) is not a
stranger, I want her to be my Sao Zi (sister-in-law).”
Song Yan: “Stop b*llsh*tt*ng.”
Di Miao shouts: “You scold me again. Then you could tell it to my Ma, my
Ma really likes her. She said that Meng Meng Jie is her dream Wai Sheng
Xi Fu (Sister’s son’s wife). You are just pretending to be deaf.”
Song Yan’s voice just changes: “Di Miao, you really want to fight me
right?”
Di Miao notices something is wrong with his voice, she immediately turns
to know the manner: “Ahyoo d*mm*t, it’s nothing to do with me.”
“Jiu Ma (Wife of maternal uncle) loves to toss about something, why
should you follow her? You don’t want your iPad anymore right?”
Di Miao immediately ‘changes sides in a war’: “Ge, I would support
anyone that you like? who else is closer to you than me.”
Song Yan’s mood is bad: “Bye.”
“Ay Ay Ay, don’t. It’s a rare chance for you to call me.” Di Miao says:
“What happened today, why you could me at this time?”
Song Yan doesn’t mention about his injury: “I am out on duty, helping
someone to take the ring out from a sewage.”
Di Miao takes a deep breath and smiles: “Then it’s great. I hope that
everyday you guys just help people to take ring or key and there’s no
fire.”
Song Yan is startled and he just smiles: “Bye.”
“Ge, be safe and sound everyday oh.” Di Miao shouts.
Song Yan puts down his phone and leans back on his seat. He looks at the
scenery outside the window and suddenly remembers what happened
that year.
That year he was still young, he used to want to fulfill all of her wishes.
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……………..
Xu Qin returns to the office room. From Xiao Xi’s mouth, she hears that
Xiao Dong is getting ready to submit her resignation. No matter what is
her result, she doesn’t want to be a nurse anymore.
Hearing this Xiao Nan and Xiao Bei sigh, they don’t criticize her decision.
Xiao Xi says: “I really hope that she would be okay, she would not be
infected. She could find another new job safely and soundly.
Xu Qin says: “She should be okay.”
“Why?”
Xu Qin: “I just checked the data. Last year in our city, there were only 10
people who are infected with HIV from work, 3 cases for doctors and
nurses. The chance would only be 30%. So we shouldn’t be to be in
despair. If she really is infected, then she shouldn’t resign because it’s
injury suffered on the job, the hospital should mind it.”
Three of them are quiet and looking and Xu Qin.
Xu Qin is confused:”Why?”
Xiao Nan: “We have been working for some time, we never see you speak
a lot. It’s really strange.”
“…….”
Xu Qin says: “I’ll get off the work first.”
“Wait for a minute.” Xiao Xi jumps, then she holds Xu Qin’s hand. “Xu Yi
Sheng (Doctor Xu), do you know that firefighter?”
Xu Qin: “Why?”
Xiao Xi smiles with starry-eyed infatuation: “I feel that he is so handsome
ay. If you really know him, then you should introduce us. It would be
winter soon, I should find a boyfriend.” Xiao Xi’s eyes are glistening.
“Firefighter and nurse are very matching.”
Xu Qin says: “I don’t know him.”
Xiao Xi’s face turns sad: “It’s too pity.”
The time Xu Qin is out, she hears Xiao Bei tells Xiao Xi: “Xiao Nan and one
of the firefighters in the group know each other, you could ask her.”

104
Xu Qin goes to the parking area. It’s so cold that she starts to shiver. She
just realizes what Xiao Xi said, it would be winter soon.
The winter season in the North area is coming earlier than other place.
That time she met Song Yan again, it’s still summer.
Few days after, it’s her holiday. She returns to Meng family house.
Meng Huai Jin and Meng Yan Chen are business dinner. So for the dinner,
there are only Xu Qin and Fu Wen Ying.
Fu Wen Ying of course asks her about her relationship with Jiang Yu. Xu
Qin stalls that her work is so busy.
Fu Wen Ying sighs lightly: “You are so busy. Don’t you want to change
your work? Let your Papa arrange you work at the University or research
institute, it would be more relaxed.”
Xu Qin: “My current job is okay.”
“I even notice that your face is much skinner than before.” Fu Wen Ying
places a slice of mutton on her bowl. Then she also prepares a bowl of
corn spareribs soup: “Drink it all.”
Xu Qin: “Em.”
“Get marry early.” Fu Wen Ying says: “I don’t know what you guys are
thinking. Yan Chen also acts the same way. I have looked for so many
women for him to go on blind date, but he likes no one.”
Xu Qin drinks her soup and raises her head: “Ma, I have someone that I
like.”
Fu Wen Ying pauses and looks at her: “Is it Jiang Su?”
“No.”
Fu Wen Ying feels it’s a pity, but she lets go and asks: “Which family he is
from?”
Xu Qin: “He is from an ordinary family.”
“Then you couldn’t.” Fu Wen Ying says: “Qin Qin, don’t force Mama to be
an evil person okay?”
Chapter 17

105
It’s a rare thing for her to have holiday, yet Xu Qin just gets a serious flu.
No one knows whether it is because the change of the weather or because
her antibody is weaken because of overwork.
Xu Qin doesn’t want to have an injection, she just wants to have two to
three days sleep. She doesn’t want to wake up or think. She just wants
sleep.
Fu Wen Ying said that she is mischievous so she asks the family doctor to
give her an IV drip.
Xu Qin sleeps deeply till it’s night.
Meng Yan Chen is sitting down on the sofa and reading his book, Xiao Yi
Xiao is sleeping on the sofa so soundly.
Xu Qin looks over at Meng Yan Chen’s gentle face, she watches him for
quite sometime; Meng Yan Chen lifts his eyes and looks at Xu Qin’s eyes.
“You are awake?”
“Em.”
“Are you feeling better?”
“Em.”
Meng Yan Chen comes over and sits on the bed: “Your nasal sound is very
heavy.”
Xu Qin looks at the IV drip: “With this, tomorrow I’ll be better.”
Meng Yan Chen looks at her hands on top of the blanket, he wants to
stroke it yet he doesn’t do it.
She notices there’re flowers and plush toy on the bedside. Every time she
is sick, Xiao Yu Xiao would give plush toy, but the flowers……..
“Who is it from?”
Meng Yan Chen: “Jiang Yu.”
Xu Qin: “How does he know?”
“Mama said to his Mama.” Meng Yan Chen’s words sound unhappy.
So what if he is unhappy, he also being arranged to go to blind date once
a week. He couldn’t refuse.
Meng Yan Chen asks her: “Do you like Jiang Yu?”

106
Xu Qin looks at the IV and says: “I couldn’t say that I like him, but I also
don’t hate him.”
Meng Yan Chen asks: “You mean —— you could accept being married to
him?”
“No.”
Meng Yan Chen declines to comment, he sits there for a while and says:
“I’ll go down to take a bowl of porridge for you.”
He leaves and the room turns quiet. Xu Qin releases her breath, she wants
to close her eyes and she suddenly hears Xiao Yu Xiao’s hoarse lazy voice:
“Why are you unhappy?”
Xu Qin turns her head around: “You aren’t sleeping?”
Xiao Yi Xiao sits up and rubs his eyes: “I was disturbed by you guys.” He
doesn’t come over, he just sits down and says: “You guys ah, I have
enough of you guys. How could you guys be in this wretched situation.
You guys shouldn’t take this matter into your heart. There’s something
positive and bright in this life.”
Xu Qin also doesn’t want to beat around the bush: “Meng Yan Chen —- I
already accept the unpleasant face. That year the time Mama asked me to
change my name, I just understand what she means. He persuaded me.
So I didn’t have any feeling toward him.
Xiao Yi Xiao: “But now you also have changed your name back again.”
“Not because of him.” Xu Qin cuts him off.
Xiao Yi Xiao asks: “You really like that Song Yan that much?”
Xu Qin turns silent for a while and asks: “I don’t know.” She takes a deep
breath: “I don’t know because I couldn’t get it or because I live in very
depressing life — I don’t know.”
“Then it means you really like him.” Xiao Yi Xiao sighs. “Okay, let me
analyze it together with you.”
He comes over to her bed and sits down on the carpet. He looks at her on
the eyes. “Qin Qin, let me ask you, how much is his salary a year? —- a
firefighter I think, it might be around 5,000- 6,000.”
Xu Qin debates: “He is the leader.”
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“Oh okay. Okay, let’s think that he get around 7,000 to 8,000. Our area is
a prime area in this city, do you know how much the white collars on the
SCBD near your house? They work for four to five years and at least their
salary would be 20,000- 30,000. An ordinary family could raise the
daughter to go to college and study till Master. It’s excellent. If your Ma
and Pa know that you are with a firefighter, don’t you think your Pa Ma
would oppose you? Do you think your Pa Ma would agree to be with him?
The time you discuss the marriage, there’ll be a cruel point, understand?
Don’t blame your Ma, she could look it clearer than you: Love could be
gone in a flash, the fact —“
“But the time I just see him, I feel I’m alive.” She couldn’t help but to
intervene, she just lets Xiao Yi Xiao shuts up.
“What do you mean?” Xiao Yi Xiao asks, his face turns serious.
“Do you know how it feels? Being strangled on your neck and being
pressed down under water. You really want to come out from the water
and takes a deep breath.” She looks at him. Her face shows that she is
mocking herself: “That kind of feeling just like —- it’s clear that you are a
death person, yet you want to live once again.”
Even if it’s only once.
Just like her youth, she wants to live once more.
She really wants it.
In her memory, she always made Song Yan be angry but every time he
would forgive her.
That time she was together with Song Yan, perhaps she wanted to be
protected by him, perhaps it’s for making Meng Yan Chen be angry, or
perhaps it’s because her life is too repressive.
No matter what was the reason, fundamentally it had impure motives.
She knows he is good toward her.
Does she care about him? Of course. If not how could she tell him: “I am
not Meng, I am Xu Qin.”
Being with Song Yan makes her happy? Happy. If not, she wouldn’t
remember everything easily.
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Her appetite was very low. Living in Meng house, she had a greatest fear.
She was afraid that she would be kicked out because she ate too much.
She restrained herself from indulging from any comforts. Though she
frequently went out to have dinner with Meng Yan Chen but he is also
someone that is able to restrain himself. She was dependent on Meng
family for living so she secretly learnt to watch every people’s mood.
Song Yan is different.
Once Song Yan accompanied her to eat at the dining hall, he noticed that
she ate so little. He frowned and be unhappy: “Are you a cat? What are
you? A rat even eats more than you.”
Song Yan thought that the food is unsuitable to her taste so he took her to
eat stir-fried dishes.
Xu Qin came from the north area, she never ate authentic local food. She
couldn’t enjoy it. There’s a thick thing inside the tomato scramble egg.
Song Yan says: “This is Gou Qian (thicken with starch).”
Xu Qin frowns: “Hao Nan Chi (Too hard to eat)”.
It’s the first time for Song Yan to hear that kind of version, he laughed:
“Hao Nan Chi? So what is it Hao (good) or Nan Chi (Too hard to eat)?”
Xu Qin asks: “How do you say it here?”
Song Yan: “Te Ta Ma (D*mm*t) hard to eat.”
Xu Qin straightened her lips and said nothing.
Song Yan: “ De Nan Chi (It’s especially hard to eat).”
Xu Qin imitated his words with a strange tone:”De Er ~~ Nan Chi.”
Song Yan laughed loudly: “Once again —— Te Ta Ma Nan Chi.”
Xu Qin didn’t say anything.
“What is it?”
“Don’t curse.”
Song Yan: “Why couldn’t I curse? —— Follow me. Quick, hurry up.” He
pushes and shoves her: “Why are you so contentious, hurry up!”
Xu Qin finally follows: “Te Ta Ma Nan Chi. This cook is Sha Bi (Stupid
c*nt).”

109
“…….” Song Yan is tongued-tie: “How could you express your words so
naturally?” He then covered her mouth: “Girls could say Ta Ma (D*mm*t),
but not Sha Bi. It’s not civilized, not civilized.”
Xu Qin smiled when her mouth was covered by his hand.
After making a fuss, she continued to eat a big scoop, Song Yan frowned:
“What are you doing? This tomato scramble egg is not delicious, spit it
out.”
Xu Qin had tomatoes inside her mouth, she glared at him. At home, in
front of Meng Yan Chen, anything else, she doesn’t dare to do anything.
Song Yan kicked trash bin to her front. “Spit it out.”
Xu Qin hesitated for a while then she just spitted out the tomatoes to the
trash bin.
“Pooh!”
He really liked her, she knew it.
He is not someone with good temper, yet he never said any harsh word
toward her; he also isn’t a patient person yet for her, he was willing to
stay in the classroom for a whole just for her; He isn’t a silent person, yet
because sometimes she didn’t like to talk, he could accompany her to
silent for an hour, two hours……..
He is a proud and arrogant person, yet he could forgive her and Meng Yan
Chen.
That day was Friday, after the class ended, she should go home but she
didn’t go home. He took her to go and roller skating. She couldn’t do the
roller skating. Yet he held her hands patiently and taught her slowly.
His friends from time to time passed them, they were laughing and
whistled. They joked about them.
Xu Qin slid several rounds and said: “Let go, I could do it.”
Song Yan: “Are you sure?”
Xu Qin: “I am.”
Song Yan lets her go, yet his arms were surrounded her. She couldn’t turn
or stop skillfully. She was clumsy, suddenly she fell to the ground. She
thought that she would fall down but Song Yan was quick and held her.
110
He held her in his embrace and let himself fell down. Song Yan was in pain
that he bit his own lips. Xu Qin was startled and looking at him, she didn’t
respond.
Song Yan covered his chest: “Why are you startled? Quick help me to
massage it.”
Xu Qin was still startled for a while, then she suddenly snorted.
It’s the first time Song Yan saw her laughing so hard. She knelt beside him
and giggled. Her skinny body was shaking while she laughed.
Very quickly, her laughter dissipated. She looked at his back and her face
just turned into deathly stillness.
Song Yan looked back back and noticed Meng Yan Chen. He had ever seen
him. Every Monday, Xu Qin went to the school, he would also be still
inside the car.
Meng Yan Chen stood outside the roller skating ground, at first he didn’t
look at Song Yan, his gaze was fixed on Xu Qin. He said: “Qin Qin, go
home.”
Xu Qin lowered her head and be silent for a while. Then she started to
take off her roller skater.
Song Yan didn’t stop her, the time Xu Qin stood up and wanted to leave.
Song Yan stood up and asked her: “Who is he?”
Xu Qin answered in a low voice: “My Ge Ge (My brother).”
Song Yan laughed: “You think that I’m a stupid one.”
Xu Qin also didn’t explain. She just lowered her head and walked toward
Meng Yan Chen.
Looking at how she just wanted to leave, finally Song Ya came over and
clutched her wrist: “You are not allowed to go with him.”
Xu Qin looked at him.
His action of clutching Xu Qin’s wrist provoked Meng Yan Chen.
Meng Yan Chen finally warned Song Yan: “Let her go.”
Song Yan lifted his chin and then pulled Xu Qin into his embrace: “She is
my girlfriend, is it your role to mind her?”

111
Meng Yan Chen came forward and wanted to punch Song Yan’s face. Song
Yan let go of his roller skate shoes and grabbed Meng Yan Chen’s collar.
He punched him.
Both of them started fighting.
Xu Qin stood there expressionlessly, she acted like she doesn’t know both
of them.
Friends all around them separated both of them. Meng Yan Chen looked at
how Song Yan still wanted to grab Xu Qin. He came forward and asked Xu
Qin: “Who would you go with?”
Song Yan stopped moving and looked at Xu Qin, he was in rage.
Xu Qin finally regained herself and looked at Song Yan.
Song Yan said: “You are not allowed to go with him. —- I’ll send you back
home.”
Xu Qin walked toward Song Yan’s side and said: “Song Yan, I want to go
home. Tomorrow I’ll come again and find you okay?”
Song Yan looked at her with his cold gaze.
Xu Qin didn’t explain too much, she just turned her back and left in front
of his friends.
His friends just stood there and didn’t dare to make sound. Song Yan
didn’t say anything, He just picked up his roller skating shoes and walked
two steps. Then he just put it down again.
The next day on Saturday, Xu Qin came over to the roller skating ground
to find Song Yan.
Song Yan just ignored her, she waited and sat on the step.
Song Yan just played around and didn’t mind him. An hour, two hours, Xu
Qin didn’t move, she just kept on sitting there silently.
One of his friends was kind, he came over and persuaded her: “Just leave,
yesterday you were embarrassing Song Yan. He wouldn’t get back with
you. Just go home.”
Xu Qin kept on sitting there and waiting, her gaze was on Song Yan.

112
The sky turned dark, yet Song Yan showed any intention to leave. He was
tired to play, so he went to sit down on the long bench near the roller
skating ground. He sat there and unscrewed the cap of the water bottle.
Xu Qin came over and said: “Song Yan, I’m hungry, let’s eat dinner.”
Song Yan looked at her cooly.
Xu Qin knelt in front of him just like a little cat. Her eyes were looking at
him: “Don’t be angry, I come to look for you right?”
Song Yan was so furious that he bit his lips, he scolded her and threw
away the water bottle. He took off the shoes and left.
Xu Qin immediately followed him and ran forward to hold his hand. He
was still furious and just shook it away. She followed him and held his hem
of shirt. This time he didn’t let her go. He just walked faster and she just
kept on going with her.
During the dinner, all along he didn’t say anything. Xu Qin was also in
alert. She felt that he wanted to ask something, he wanted to ask what is
between her and Meng Yan Chen.
But after he was done, he put down his chopsticks and looked at her. Xu
Qin just ate slowly. He didn’t say or ask anything. Until at last, he
suddenly stroked her head and asked lightly:
“Xiao Jia Huo (Kid), do you miss me?”
Finally he just asked that question.
Xiao Jia Huo, do you miss me?
I miss you, I miss you so much that I feel that I’ll be crazy.
That moment, her hard heart just felt like it’s being opened. She felt pain
in her heart.
He said: “I thought you would not come back again.”
But because she came back, he forgave her easily.
But the time they broke up, she said: “I don’t like this rotten Wu Fang
street, I also think that you are a person without no prospect.”
She thought that he would not forgive her again.
After few years, he answered: “Your previous choice was not important.
What is your choice now?”
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Xu Qin lifts her hand to cover her eyes. This is intolerably bullying her for
not looking for him again.

Chapter 18
The next day, Xu Qin sleeps again for the whole morning. She is getting
ready t return to Zong Lu Hua Yuan after the lunch. Unexpectedly there’s
a guest for the lunch, Jiang Yu. He said that he comes to find Meng Yan
Chen, then he goes out with Xiao Yi Xiao.
Fu Wen Ying calls Xu Qin to go downstair and greets the guest.
Jiang Yu examines Xu Qin and notices that she is skinnier, he asks: “Are
you feeling better?”
Xu Qin says: “I’m okay, thank you for your flowers.”
Jiang Yu laughs: “You are acting this modest to everyone?”
Xu Qin says: “It’s good thing to be polite.”
Jiang Yu declines to comment, he asks again: “What did you do before you
go downstair?”
Xu Qin says: “I carved a small thing.”
“You also could carve?” Jiang Yi finds this is to be strange: “What are you
carving? stone or ——?
“Wood.” Xu Qin says.
“Could I take a look at your pieces?”
“Let’s go.”
Xu Qin’s bedroom s very big, it’s also has its own living room inside the
bedroom.
She arranges all of her wood carving on the desk, there are little animals,
flowers and something else. They are all looking realistic.
Jiang Yu is so excited in looking at it. Xu Qin sits down and takes the
unfinished carving and knife. She said: “I wouldn’t entertain you
anymore.”
Jiang Yu: “Okay, I’ll do as I please.”
On the way, Xu Qin suddenly asks: “Do you like me?” She says without
lifting her head up.
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Jiang Yu is surprised by this, he is startled for a while, he considers and
says: “I just have a favorable impression toward you but I couldn’t say
that I like you.”
Xu Qin lifts her eyes and asks: “Could you accept the fact of marrying
me?”
Jiang Yu scratches his head, yet he doesn’t feel awkward: “Honestly, I just
need to find someone who is an appropriate match, then I would marry. I
don’t care for who is she.”
“I’m jealous of you—— I couldn’t do it.” Xu Qin smiles and starts to carve
again: “I have someone that I like.”
Jiang Yu leans on the chair and picks up a wooden cat. He asks: “Your Pa
Ma are opposing you?”
“Em.”
“Then what would you do?” Jiang Yu is curious. He seems to forget that
they are partners in a blind date.
She stops.
Last night at this bedroom, Xiao Yi Xiao listened to her words till she was
done. He looked at the ceiling of the bedroom and at last, he sighed:
“Then just try it.”
“If you don’t try, you would be unwilling to resign yourself. If you have
tried it, though you might be hurt. The time you come back and follow
your Ma’s arrangement, that time you’ll be more accepting. Right?”
How could it be as easy as he said, Song Yan is unwilling.
At this room too, few years ago at that Saturday, Meng Yan Chen was so
angry and blocked her at her bedroom. He didn’t allow her to find Song
yan.
She didn’t be noisy or make fuss, she didn’t argue. She just repeated: “I
want to go and find Song Yan to play. I promise Song Yan today I’ll come
to him.”
She knew that Song Yan is so angry, he was so furious. But if she looked
for him, he would forgive her. But if she didn’t, there would be trouble.

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Meng Yan Chen stopped her and just locked her inside the room. She
opened her window and climbed from the tree from the second floor.
But now, it wouldn’t be easy.
Xu Qin would not do it as Xiao Yi Xiao said to just run over immediately
toward Song Yan, Song Yan wouldn’t agree. Their relationship would just
enter a worsening step.
She also hasn’t thought it clearly, what would she do in the future, what
should she prepare.
“In the past I thought too much and did too little; Now I don’t want to
think too much, and just do slowly I——“ Xu Qin raises her head and looks
at Jiang Yu, and she says: “I want to do something that makes me happy,
but also let nature take its course, I want to see what is my future in front
of me.”
………
Xu Qin returns to her own apartment, she sits on the balcony and smokes.
From her view, she could see the crowded Wu Fang street. It’s so different
from her apartment complex.
She finishes a cigarette and contacts the butler of the house. She asks
about the water, electricity, etc. bill. She takes her notebook and notes it.
She also counts every of her expenses.
She has no habit of keeping accounts. A lot of things, she just does it by
predicting it. It takes an hour to count everything. Finally she has a rough
data, it’s not really expensive.
Xu Qin sighs.
She hasn’t turned on the warmer in the room so it’s cold. Xu Qin feels so
sleepy.
The weather forecast shows that tomorrow would be a fine day. She plans
to have a good sleep tonight and tomorrow she would go to the park to
walk around.
Xu Qin returns to her bedroom and closes the door. She covers the
window with the heavy curtain, she makes the bedroom just like a black
box.
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She gets on the bed and covers herself with the blanket till her head. She
doesn’t think about anything and just closes her eyes.
This sleep is much more comfortable than what she had in Meng family
house.
Suddenly there’s a siren. Xu Qin thinks that she is dreaming. How could
she have a dream about the firefighter siren? But suddenly she smells a
smoke. This dream is too realistic.
Xu Qin opens her eyes. Her bedroom is dark, she could hear the siren.
It’s real.
She immediately turns on the table lamp and goes to open the curtain.
She could see a heavy smoke outside.
It’s a fire from her building.
She wears her coat quickly and takes her keys and phone. She goes to the
shoe shelf. Then she hears another ear-piercing siren. Today is working
day, most of the apartments are empty.
Before she opens the door, there’s a knocking sound from her door.
Someone is yelling: “Is there anyone inside?”
It’s Song Yan’s voice.
Xu Qin is unprepared, her heart stops.
“2701, is there any person inside.”
“Hi, we are…..” Song Yan recognizes Xu Qin so he stops for a while and
comes over: “We are from Shi Li firefighters station. There’s a fire from
2601. Because this is combined floor building. The fire downstair is too
great. The door couldn’t be open. According to the owner of the
apartment, there’s a little kid inside the apartment. We want to go down
from your balcony. Could I do it?”
Xu Qin opens up the door completely and moves away: “Get in.”
“Thank you.” Song Yan looks at her briefly. In this dangerous situation, he
doesn’t place any unnecessary thought on her. He just looks back at the
group of firefighters behind her and they all get inside the room. Several
of them go the balcony to tie the rope and the other go to arrange water
pipes. Xiao Ge opens up the fire hydrant too.
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Song Yan: “Call the tap water company, and tell them to pressurize the
tubing here.”
Xiao Ge: “Yes.”
Song Yan is carrying a fire extinguisher on his back: “Tong Ming, Fan
Yang, you guys should come with me downstair. The others, please wait
for my command.”
“Yes.”
Sng Yan brings two firefighters pass the living room. Xu QIn is standing in
the middle of the living room and quickly retreats to give them space. He
just walks by her.
Xu Qin turns her back and watches Song Yan’s action. Song Yan ties his
body with the rope and once again do a safety measure. He steps on the
balcony railing and turns his body over to outside the building.
This is twenty seven floor.
Xu Qin is shivering because of the cold wind. She runs toward the balcony
to see what is outside and downstair.
Song Yan uses his both hands to hold the safety rope, he goes lower to
the 26th floor. The room downstair has a sealed balcony and the windows
are closed.
Song Yan is holding the rope tightly. He takes out his hammer and
suddenly hammers the window.
Xu Qin watches the rope, she is afraid that it would break off. If he falls
down from this height, he would be death.
Song Yan kicks the glass and enters the room.
A thick smoke comes out from the room.
Xu Qin is terrified.
Song Yan gets into the fire scene and looks for the bedroom. He uses the
fire extinguisher, flips open the wardrobe and looks at the bottom of the
bed. There’s no kid around. There’s even no one inside the bathroom.
There’s no one.

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On the balcony of Xu Qin’s family, Jiang Chi is passing the water pipe
down to Tong Ming, who is in the 26th floor. He starts to spray the water
around.
The fire is raging, Song Yan takes the fire extinguisher and leads the way
inside. He has looked around yet he still couldn’t find the kid.
Fan Yang comes out from the kitchen and yells: “The fire is from the stove
in the kitchen. Supposedly the kid had nothing to do at home so he played
with the fire.”
Song Yan comes out of the bathroom and checks around. There’s no kid
inside. He is about to go out of the bathroom, then suddenly the door
plank is burnt through. It falls down and slaps his head. Song Yan keeps
on walking and walks toward the living room
Fan Yang: “The fire is too big, let’s go up and just sprays the water from
the 27 th floor.”
Song Yan flips the sofa; “Let’s look for the kid first.”
Song Yan turns back to the fire scene and checks through, he doesn’t
know who is the kid. He has looked everywhere.
Then she looks at the balcony again.
He suddenly be startled and goes toward the balcony.
There’re two to three ‘money’ trees, Song Yan pushes aside the leaves
and notices a little boy, who is curling at the back of the porcelain. He is
fainted.
Song Yan holds the kid quickly and binds the kid with the rope. Then Song
Yan shouts hoarsely: “Pull!”
The firefighters on Xu Qin’s balcony start to pull the rope up. Song Yan
appears with the kid.
Xu Qin watches him. He is a good man.
Song Yan lifts up his head and looks at her. His gaze passes through the
group of firefighters. Her face is pale and she looks terrified. Her half of
body is out of the railing, she looks nervous and looks heartbroken.
They both look at each other.

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 Chapter 19
Song Yan is pulled by the other firefighters, his head is full of dark ashes
and sweats. He is holding the kid and yells: “Xu Qin!”
Xu Qin immediately comes forward: “Give the kid to me.”
Song Yan passes the kid to her. He then takes his canteen and starts to
drink.
Xu Qin checks the little boy condition, he doesn’t choke. He is breathing
weakly but he just inhales the smoke and faints.
She undoes the collar of the kid’s shirt and takes the wet towel to wipe his
face and chest. Then she holds the kid and goes toward the door. “Could I
use the elevator?”
Suo Jun: “It’s safe.”
“Okay,” Xu Qin holds the kid and goes downstair.
Downstair outside the lobby, there’s an ambulance outside.
Xu Qin passes the kid to her colleagues and she just returns back home.
The firefighters are coming down in successive.
Yang Chi passes from her side and smiles: “Thank you ah, Jie (Sis).”
Xu Qin: “You are done?”
Yang Chi: “The fire is successfully extinguished, the door could be opened
now so we could check it out.”
Xiao Ge also thanks her: “Fortunately because we could borrow your
balcony, we could extinguish the fire quickly. If not, it’ll take time.”
He then wipes his sweat.
Xu Qin looks at his red hands, she says: “If there’s someone that is
injured, let me take a look. I have first-aid kit at home.”
Xiao Ge is startled and looks at his own hands. He waves his hands: “It’s
okay. We would go down and work.”
Xu Qin doesn’t keep them for long. The group of firefighters just go out.
Song Yan comes out from the living room and he passes her side.
“Thank you.” Song Yan says.
Xu Qin shakes her head.
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Everyone starts to leave.
The noisy room just turns silent and empty. Xu Qin is standing near her
shoes shelf. She looks at the living room. Everyone is gone, there’s only a
water stain, smoke ash, stain. It’s a bit messy.
………..
Song Yan and other firefighters are looking around the burnt apartment to
find any fire left behind. Then they contact the property management and
the owner of the apartment. The owner is rushing to be back home.
Song Yan leaves two firefighters to deal with the aftermath, the others are
returning to the fire station.
All of them are getting ready to leave, they enter the elevator and Song
Yan instructs them: “Yang Chi, you accompany political instructor to check
on the equipment, then when you are back at the station, Xiao Ge would
write a report.” Then he says: “I would stay here and then I leave.”
Yang Chi doesn’t respond: “It’s enough for Xiao Fei and Lao Jiang to stay
here. Captain, you should just go back and have an early rest.”
Song Yan says: “I’ll go upstair for a while.”
Yang Chi is puzzled: “2701? Why?”
Song Yan: “We made a mess at the apartment, we should help out.”
Yang Chi: “That’s right. Ge (Bro), then let me help you. I’ll help you to tidy
it up.”
Song Yan: “No need. It’s okay for me to do it. Don’t add trouble.”
Yang Chi: “How could you say that I’ll add trouble. Ge (Bro), I am good at
………”
Suo Jun uses one of his hand to grab Yang Chi’s collar and drags him
inside the elevator. He presses the button and says to Song Yan: “Go.”
Song Yan runs upstair using the staircase. He arrives at Xu Qin’s family.
The door is opened and he could hear the water sound from inside.
Song Yan comes inside and looks inside. The living room is so messy,
there’s no one inside. Xu QIn is holding a wet towel, she comes out from
the bathroom. Looking at Song Yan, she is surprised: “You left
something?”
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“No.” Song Yan looks at the floor: “We borrowed your balcony, I would
clean up first before leaving.”
Xu Qin doesn’t refuse.
Song Yan takes off his firefighter suit and takes off his shoes too. He goes
to the restroom and looks around. He asks: “Where is the mop?”
Xu Qin: “I don’t have.”
Song Yan glances at her: “You use the towel?”
Xu Qin coughs: “I only have this.”
Song Yan is speechless and watches her for a while. He shakes her head
and finds this thing is so hilarious. “It’ll be tiresome, wait.” He says then
goes out.”
Xu Qin asks: “Where are you going?”
Song Yan bends his body and wears his shoes again, he looks at her: “I’ll
go down and buy a mop.” He stands up straight and asks: “What else you
don’t have here, I’ll buy it too for you. Broom, detergent, cleaning rag…..”
He looks at her expression and asks: “You don’t have it all right?”
Xu Qin says while she fists her hands: “Em.”
Song Yan: “…….”
That man just goes out.
Ting, there’s a noise from the elevator. Xu Qin takes a look at the corridor
outside. He is gone, she comes inside the room and looks at his firefighter
suit. It’s big and very thick. The suit looks so dirty.
Xu Qin walks toward the balcony, it only takes a while till she sees Song
Yan is running out of the apartment building and quickly disappears on
the corner.
The first day of November, the apartment building is surrounded by
ginkgo trees.
Xu Qin comes back inside the room.
After a while, Song Yan is back too. He is holding a broom and a big
plastic bag of things.
“Why are you buying so many things?” Xu Qin takes a look. He seems to
buy a lot of things for cleaning like absorbent cleaning rags with several
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colors, ordinary cleaning rag, detergent, scouring ball, brush; he even
buys several packs of trash bag.
Xu Qin frowns and asks: “Why are you buying so many things?”
Song Yan folds his sleeves: “You still have ‘face’ to grumble.”
Xu Qin: “……….”
Song Yan snorts: “Your place has no sense of home.” He then goes to the
bathroom with a mop and switches on the water tap to wet it.
Xu Qin stands there for a while, she takes a cleaning rag and goes into the
bathroom too.
Song Yan asks her: “What happened to your throat?”
“I have a flu.” Xu Qin answers.
“Em.”
Song Yan asks again: Are you okay?”
Xu Qin nods “Better.”
“Em.”
He switches off the water tap and squeezes the water from the mop. He
comes out of the bathroom. Xu Qin also wrings the cleaning rag and
follows out.
Song Yan is moping the floor on the balcony. He is tall and very strong. He
could clean it after once and twice. She usually calls cleaning service to
clean her house, the cleaners sometimes take a while to clean it.
Xu Qin goes to the clean the railing fence of the balcony. Xu Qin somehow
slips when she cleans up, Song Yan is fast, he just grabs her arm and let
her stands up straight again.
Xu Qin feels her heart beats so fast.
Song Yan lets her go: “Be careful.” Then he continues to mop.
“Oh.” Xu Qin gasps lightly and goes to clean up again.
The wind on the high floor of tall building is so heavy, it makes her shiver.
Song Yan suddenly takes the cleaning rag from her hand. “Get in. The
wind is blowing heavily right here.” He says expressionlessly.
Xu Qin: “I could do it.”

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“If your flu is getting worse, I wouldn’t take any responsibility.” Song Yan
says.
At last Xu Qin returns to the room. Song Yan is there, cleaning up for
everything.
The railing fence on the balcony was stepped by the firefighters so it’s so
dirty, it also makes Xu Qin’s cleaning rag so dirty. Xu Qin notices it, she
takes another cleaning rag and wets it again. Then she goes toward her
and takes the dirty one from Song Yan. Song Yan is so efficient in doing it.
He is cleaning so seriously.
Song Yan returns to the room and closes the door. He cleans up the mop
again and goes to the living room to clean all the water stains and
footprints.
Xu Qin doesn’t sit around, she goes to boil up water with her new kettle.
The time is moving slowly, everything is so natural. They are not chatting
with each other, the atmosphere in the room is silent and peaceful.
She is preparing a tea, while he is moping the floor.
This moment, her mind recalls another moment.
Song Yan is done in cleaning up. He has arranged everything in the
bathroom.
“Drink tea first before you leave.” Xu Qin pours the hot water into three
cups and places the tea leaves. “You sweat a lot, you need to make up for
it.”
She places the cups in front of him.
Xu Qin: “The tea is a bit hot, just sit down for a while.”
Song Yan says: “My body is dirty, I wouldn’t sit.”
Xu Qin feels awkward, yet he is so unrestrained.
Xu Qin points at the bar stool: “Just sit down there, later on I’ll clean it up.
Song Yan consider for a short moment and goes over to sit down.
Xu Qin asks: “Do you have any injury in your body? I’ll treat it for you.”
Song Yan looks at his hands: “No.”
Xu Qin: “What about your wrist? It should have an injury.”

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Song Yan pauses and lifts up his eyes to look at her. He even doesn’t
notice that his wrist is hurt.
Xu Qin is calm and takes a first-aid kit box. Song Yan extends his hand
and places it on the table. She helps him to clean it up and puts on the
medicine. She asks: “Are you so busy with your work?”
“It’s okay.” Song Yan says: “Everyday there would be matters to do
whether it’s major or minor.” He adds: “I’m not busy as you.”
“I am taking turn in staying in emergency medical treatment, if not I
wouldn’t be busy, moreover my job is not as dangerous as you.”
He snorts: “I think your job is dangerous too.”
Xu Qin understands that he means the accident with the needle.
She wraps his wrist with a gauze: “Okay.”
Song Yan finishes three cups of tea and wipes his mouth: “Thanks.”
He doesn’t waste any time, he turns his body to leave. She follows behind
him to send him off.
Song Yan goes to pick up his firefighter suit, he walks toward teh door.
“You could do the cleaning by yourself?”
Xu Qin: “Yes.”
“Okay.” He goes out.
Xu Qin stands near the door and watches him leave. Suddenly inside her
heart, she could hear a voice.
Be together, okay?
The elevator door opens and Song Yan gets inside the elevator. He turns
his body and presses the button. Then he looks at her.
Xu Qin also looks at him.
Song Yan, be together okay?
But all along she doesn’t say anything, till the elevator door is closed and
blocks her view.
The floor is so quiet likes nothing happened before. There’s no trace that
there’re firefighters here.
…………….
…………….
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Xu Qin closes the door and looks around. She suddenly feels that the room
is so quiet that she couldn’t breath properly.
She holds her hands tight and goes to the sofa. She sits down straight
there.
Suddenly,
she just stands up and runs toward the balcony.
She stands on the balcony and shouts to the person under the building:
“Song Yan!”
The yellow gingko leaves are flying everywhere.
Xu Qin couldn’t see his expression clearly.
She stops and takes another deep breath: “Tomorrow you’ll be off right?”
A second, two second, the world is silent.
In a next second, Song Yan just turns his body and leaves.

Chapter 20
On the 2nd day of November, the weather is so fine. The sun is shinning
brightly, the sky is blue. It looks so fine yet the temperature is a bit low.
Xu Qin is wearing a scarf today, she walks toward the Wu Fang street. She
looks around.
The stores aren’t opened at this moment, the wooden doors are closed.
There are only restaurants that serve breakfast open. Another day has
started.
Xu Qin never observes anyone. But today she seriously observes each of
people.
A couple is buying two portions of porridge, they kiss each other.
“See you at night.”
“Work well.”
“I know.”
They both just separate and go to different direction. The woman is
running toward Xu Qin’s direction. Her smile is so bright. The man walks
few steps and then looks back at the woman and smiles. He then
continues to walk away
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Another woman is queueing for breakfast while she calls the driver.
Inside the store, there’s also a man playing with the tablet while eating his
noodle. He is devouring it ravenously. It isn’t clear whether it’s because
the noodle is too tasty or because he has no time to eat relaxedly.
There’s also a person who is holding a briefcase, while hums a son. That
man is chewing the youtiao (deep-fried breadstick). He is walking while
eating.
The world is marvelously diversed.
Xu Qin keeps on walking till she arrives Di family house. The front door is
opened.
Di Jiu Jiu (Uncle Di) is someone that loves to wake up early. She doesn’t
know whether she would meet him or not.
Xu Qin is careful when passing the front door. The courtyard is silent.
The birdcages on the tree are gone, supposedly Jiu Jiu is out and playing
with his birds.
The door of the west room is left unlocked, it means that person inside it
should be awake.
Xu Qin walks over and tries to take a look from the crack of the door, she
could see a glimpse of what is inside. She sees the wardrobe. The
wardrobe door is opened and shows several men’s sweaters and trousers.
She knocks on the door lightly. “Boom”. But no one is responding; she
uses her fingers to push it open.
She looks around the room, it’s so clean.
The floor is made from wood, it’s clean without any dust. The bed sheet is
in blue, there’s no even slight wrinkle on the bed. The blanket is folded
neatly. Everything is in order and in place.
Xu Qin stands there for awhile, she remembers that this room is different
from Song Yan’s previous bedroom. He used to have a lot of manga
books, dirty clothes everywhere………
The time she is thinking, someone opens the door. Song Yan is standing
behind her. “You come again?”
Xu QIn looks at him. She takes steps back quickly.
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Song Yan’s hair is wet, he has a towel wrapped on his waist. He just had
his shower. He frowns and says: “Move away.”
Xu Qin comes out of the bedroom and Song Yan gets into it. He closes the
door and let Xu QIn stays outside.
Xu Qin looks around the courtyard. She tries to figure out his hostile
attitude. He is different from yesterday.
If her eyes show a bit of remorse or love, he would be soft; but if her eyes
show any hesitance or doubt, he would be very cold and harsh.
He seems could see her eyes and heart clearly.
After a while, the bedroom is opened. Song Yan comes out of the
bedroom, he is wearing a sweater and trouser. He looks that Xu Qin and
asks: “You are looking for me?”
It’s a rubbish sentence.
Xu Qin: “Yes.”
Song Yan: “Yesterday I helped you to clean up your apartment, it’s my
duty. We carry our job completely to not give any inconvenience for the
people. So I cleaned everything up.”
Xu Qin doesn’t think too much of it: “I know.”
Song Yan: “So is there anything else?”
Xu Qin: “Yes.”
Song Yan: “What?”
Xu Qin: “I want to express my gratitude.”
Song Yan exposes her lie: “How long would you want to play with this
trick?”
Xu Qin is calm and shows any change in expression: “Till you accept.”
Song Yan; “……”
Xu Qin is serene, her tone is distant: “I don’t like to owe any favor to
anyone. You have saved me so many times, I want to return it to you.”
Song Yan: “how would you do it?”
Xu Qin: “let me treat you a meal.”
“………” Song Yan seems to see through her cheap trick, he snorts.
Xu Qin doesn’t blush or show anything.
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Song Yan doesn’t answer for short while then he takes out his cigarette.
Xu Qin then speaks up: “Smoking in the early morning isn’t very good for
your health.”
Song Yan lowers his head and lights on his cigarette. Then he lifts his
head to look at her.
Xu Qin says: “This advice comes from the doctor.”
Song Yan asks: “From where do you get my work schedule?”
Xu Qin: “Xiao Yi Xiao’s cousin.”
Song Yan: “Huh.”
He doesn’t say anything and just smokes.
Xu Qin stands there for a while and says: “Let’s go out and have dinner.”
Song Yan says: “I’ll not go” He then turns his body to enter the bedroom
again: “Go home.”
Xu Qin is still standing there.
Song Yan says: “You are not leaving?”
Xu Qin is still saying the same thing: “I’ll treat you a meal.”
He narrows his eyes and looks at her for a while. Then he snorts: “Then
just stay there and wait.”
Suddenly Di Miao comes out of her bedroom with her backpack. She
notices and recognizes Xu Qin.
“I just know it how could there’s so much noise in the early morning, why
are you here?” Di Miao walks toward her: “I have told you to not keep on
approaching my Ge. Why don’t you understand me? Why are you so
annoying?”
Xu Qin says nothing.
Song Yan looks at her and then to Di Miao, he doesn’t say anything for a
while.
But Di Miao wants to keep on talking, suddenly Song Yan speaks up to
stop her: “Di Miao.”
Di Miao is unconcerned and continues: “It’s the truth. How could she be so
shameless when she was kicked out from here?”

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Song Yan frowns. “Okay, go to university now. Why are you making fuss
here?”
Di Miao is unhappy: “Huh, I’ll go inside and tell my Ma………”
Song Yan approaches her and drags her to the front door to leave. Di Miao
doesn’t even have time to yell “Ma” because Song Yan has covered her
mouth.
Song Yan throws her out: “You still want to annoy me?”
Di Miao says: “Ge, I am afraid that you’ll be soft-hearted. I’m so worry
about you. Last time she came over to find you, I kicked her out. I didn’t
expect her to come again….”
Song Yan’s face changes: “Okay, I get it. Just go to the university.”
Di Miao isn’t willing to let this go, she wants to get inside the room. “You
are a man but you couldn’t give her a sour face, I’ll help you to kick her
out———“
Song Yan clutches her collar and pulls her back: “Enough.”
“Ge, let me and you ——“
Song Yan says coldly: “Would you go or not?”
Di Miao pouts.
Song Yan: “One, two, three ——“
Di Miao covers her head with her hands, runs and then shouts at him:
“Anyway I’ll go back at night.”
Song Yan watches her leave.
Xu Qin is still standing there and waiting for him.
Song Yan gets in and doesn’t look at her: “Just leave.”
Xu Qin looks at him and says: “Let me treat you a meal.”
Song Yan: “No.”
Xu Qin says: “Okay, then you just treat me a meal.”
Song Yan: “What are you planning to do? Why should I treat you a meal?”
Xu Qin: “Yesterday I helped you and your firefighters. You are their leader,
shouldn’t you come forward and thank me? I waited for you a whole day
to thank me. You even didn’t call for thanking me. It’s a wasteful for me as
a citizen to help. Why are you guys doing this?”
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She is so indifferent yet her tone shows that she is reasonable and having
evidence. She makes as if Song Yan refuses, he is neglecting his job and
not respecting a good citizen.
Song Yan: “Xu Qin.”
Xu Qin: “Em.”
Song Yan: “Are people around you know that you have this kind of side?”
Xu Qin considers for a while and looks at him again. She asks seriously:
“What kind of side?”
Song Yan: “………”
He seems to be unable to find a way out, finally he nods. “Okay, you are
the ‘ancestor’.
He says it and walks outside the courtyard house.
Xu Qin’s hands are on her coat’s pockets. She is following behind him.
…………
This time, almost all stores are opened. The lady boss of the spice store
notices Song Yan, she calls him: “Xiao Song, you are off today?”
Song Yan smiles: “Yes.”
A lot of people are greeting him, when he passes the street. Xu Qin
watches him and enjoys his bright smile. It’s so beautiful like a shinning
sun.
She just remembers that last time she saw his smile, it’s been years ago.
This time his bright smile is not like hers.
The lady boss still talks with Song Yan: “Xiao Song ah, we just marinate
the fish in the dark soy, tell Di Miao to come over and take it at the
house.”
Song Yan: “Thank you, Zhang Shen (Auntie Zhang).”
The lady boss smiles: “No need to be so courteous ——“ Then he notices
Xu Qin behind him. “Yooo, aren’t you Meng Qin?
Xu Qin answers: “Xu Qin, my family name is Xu.”
“Oh oh.” She doesn’t care about it. She is just curious to see them to be
together in this early morning but she says nothing. She is busy with her
store again.
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That year they used to stroll around Wu Fang street, he held her shoulder
and her hand. But now they are distanced by some space. It’s not obvious
that they are together.
Both of them are not talking with each other.
Finally they arrive at the breakfast store. Song Yan looks at her: “What do
you want to eat?”
Xu Qin says: “Soft bean curd, chili oil noodle.” These are the speciality
food in this restaurant, they used to eat it together.
Song Yang pauses for a while, then he says to the boss: “Two portion for
each of one, and one more basket of Shumai.”
When he is about to get in, Xu Qin says: “I also want dumpling, youtiao,
and soy milk.”
Song Yan glances at her, he is doubting her appetite. But he says nothing
to her and just orders it to the boss.
The restaurant is decorated in simple way. The wall is made from wood.
There’s grease and dirt on the wall, it’s not really clean. The ceiling is a bit
low.
They both sit down and the server just places two bowls of soft bean curd
with citron daylily gravy. That year the first time Song Yan took her here,
she was so surprised to see soft bean curd with citron daylily gravy: “How
should we eat this? We should put sugar on the soft bean curd, how could
we eat it this one?”
Song Yan raised his eyebrows: “You add sugar for the soft bean curd? Are
you crazy?”
Both of them were arguing whether soft bean curd should be sweet or
salty for a week. But afterwards Xu Qin could accept the fact soft bean
curd could also taste salty.
…………..
Song Yan says nothing much. He just enjoys his soft bean curd. The time
he finishes it, Xu Qin just finishes half of it. Then the server comes over
again with two bowls of chili oil noodles.

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Song Yan picks up his chopsticks and starts to eat the noodle, Xu Qin also
takes a bite. She eats and eats till she suddenly speaks up: “It’s weird.”
Song Yan is unfocused, she suddenly asks: “Why?”
“The flavor is still the same.” Xu Qin says: “A lot of stores’ flavor would
change after the business is good. But this one still has the same taste.”
Song Yan doesn’t answer, he just keeps on eating. After getting to the
breakfast restaurant, he seems to talk with little words. Another guest of
the restaurant hears her words, so she says: “We are all neighbors here,
how could we cheat each other?”
“We are people of Wu Fang street, we do business based on our
conscience.”
Song Yan finishes his noddle and eats Shumai. He wipes his mouth and
looks at Xu Qin. She still has half of soft bean curd in front of her, half of
chili oil noodle, one youtiao, one dumpling and one soy milk.
Song Yan watches her. She scoops another spoon of chili oil for her chili oil
noodle.
Years ago, she also sat there. She loved to eat her noodle with a lot of
chili oil.
He clicked his tongue: “You put so much?”
She still wanted more, she tasted it: “It’s very good.”
She ate it bite by bite —- In Meng house family, no one eats spicy food so
she should adapt her palate to them.
Song Yan was shocked to see her eat, he giggled.
She just picked up a lump of noodle and passed it in front of her: “Try it,
it’s very good.”
Song Yan shook his head: “Am I crazy? Why should I torture myself?”
Xu Qin said: “If you eat it, I’ll kiss you once.”
Song Yan said nothing and just swallowed it.
That year little girl has changed to a woman. But she seems to be the
same person. She still loves to totter her chair.

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Xu Qin is still eating slowly. When her hair slips from her shoulder, she
raises her head and arranges it with her hand, she hooks it on her hair. It
shows her red little ear.
Song Yan looks at her silently.
Her hair is a bit messy. Xu Qin puts down her chopsticks and just uses her
rubber band to bind her hair. It shows her fair white neck.
Song Yan bites his lips.
Xu Qin picks up her chopsticks and continues to eat her noodle. She is not
eating quickly or slowly.
“Stop pestering.” Song Yan finally turns impatient, he starts to urge him.
Xu Qin picks up a lump of noodle and stuffs it into her mouth. It makes her
cheeks bulging.
Song yan frowns, then he raises his eyebrows: “Xu Qin, at this age, you
are not suitable to act cute, do you know?”
“Em?” Xu Qin suddenly lifts her head and looks at him. “What is it?”
Song Yan: “……..”
He says nothing and just stands up. He goes outside the restaurant to
smoke.
He smokes and watches that woman, who is still eating.
This is her trick, D*mm*t it’s only trick.

Chapter 21
Song Yan finishes his cigarette and looks at Xu Qin again, Xu Qin has
successfully finished her chili oil noodle and dumpling. She is eating her
youtiao and drinking soy milk.
She has learned how to eat like local people. She cuts it up into small
pieces and soaks all of it in inside the soy milk. The time it turns soft, she
uses the spoon to scoop it. She finishes it and licks her lips. She seems to
be satisfied.
Her way of eating is normal for people around here. Her hair is tied in low
ponytail, she is wearing grey coat, jeans, low ankle boots, and carrying a

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small handbag. She looks like an ordinary woman. Except being a bit
beautiful, her expression and temper are more tranquil and calmer.
The time he is still watching her, Xu Qin seems to notice it. She looks at
him. Before their eyes meet with each other, he just looks away quickly.
It’s getting crowded.
Song Ya lights on his second cigarette.
Since encountering Xu Qin again, Song Yan hasn’t seen her face in
detailed from very close distant. Every time his eyes couldn’t stop looking
for her face for long time.
But he remembers her appearance very clearly. There’s no much
difference. Her face just turns a bit smaller and pale.
Xu Qin is very beautiful, Song Yan knows it very well. That time he fell in
love with her because of her beauty.
That day is the first day of school, Song Yan was sitting on the back side
of the room and laughing with his friends. Everyone was in group and
chatting around.
At a time, he unconsciously looked outside the window and noticed a left
out female student passed by. She was carrying her backpack and
lowered her head. She walked slowly.
He didn’t see her face clearly, she just felt her thin and weak figure
somehow made him felt lonely and helpless.
Someone was talking with him and he replied her. He then looked back to
see that female student but she was gone.
He continued to chat and laugh. This time someone raised his chin and
looked at his back: “Ay, you block the new student’s path.”
This time Song Yan was sitting down on the table but his legs were on the
other chair.
In that narrow aisle, that female students just passed by him.
He recognized her. He stopped talking and watched her. She was a bit
shorter than him, she was so skinny and small.
That moment he suddenly wanted to protect her without any sign.
He didn’t expect that is a trap. How could she need his help.
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Song Yan’s phone suddenly rings, it pulls him back from his memory.
It’s a call from Di Miao.
Song Yan frowns and counts the time that she should be at university now
and get ready for the class.
“Hello?”
“Ge!” She sounds panicky, she is crying. She is saying several unclear
sentences. Song Yan could hear from the background a man’s shout.
Song Yan throws the cigarette away: “Speak slowly, what is happening?”
“I………” Di Miao wants to say something but then hesitates, “Ge, I’m at
the local police station. Hurry up come and help me. Please don’t tell Pa
Ma.”
She is calling him, she says nothing else. Song Yan just asks which local
police station and hangs up. “Wait, I’ll come over soon.”
He puts down his phone and goes to the cashier to settle the bill. Xu Qin
also has finished her breakfast.
Song Yan asks: “Are you done?”
Xu Qin nods.
Song Yan says: “Then let’s go.”
Xu Qin asks: “Where are you going?”
She knows that he is getting a call before.
Song Yan says: “I need to handle a matter.”
Xu Qin asks: “What matter?”
Song Yan says: “Di Miao is at the local police station.”
Xu Qin frowns and for a short time she couldn’t know what a student like
her does to be taken to the police station.
Song Yan knows that she wants to ask again, but he says: “Maybe she is
in accident and quarreling with someone. She is a bit hot-tempered,”
“I’ll go first.”
Xu Qin follows him: “Let me send you over.”
Song Yan glances at her. Xu Qin says: Now is a peak hour, you wouldn’t
get any taxi. Di Miao is waiting there, she should be anxious.”
“Thanks.” Song Yan doesn’t delay anymore.
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After her car was drowned, Meng Huai Jin bought another same white
BMW for her.
It’s just few days since she got this car. All the back seats and the front
passenger seat are still sealed with plastic. Xu Qin tears it open and
throws the plastic to the back seats.
Song Yan gets on the car and when he wants to fasten his seatbelt, he
realizes the seatbelt is sealed with the plastic. He asks: “You change your
car to the same one?”
Xu Qin switches on the engine and says: “You have ever seen my previous
car?”
Song Yan just pulls it open and fastens it.
Xu Qin notices that she has said something wrong, she immediately says:
“It’s wrong, you should have seen my car that day during the heavy rain.”
Song Yan just says “Em.” He is a bit unfocused.
Xu Qin thinks that because he is worried about Di Miao, she asks: “Which
police station?”
Song Yan: “Qi Ye station.”
Xu Qin is considering how should she say it, but Song Yan just says
directly: “No need your help. Don’t spend any favor to find connection.”
Xu Qin is startled. She doesn’t talk about it.
Song Yan says: “Thanks.”
A life for her is simple and relaxing. It’s a good matter.
He has no right or qualification to expropriate; Yet he also couldn’t lend
favor or live it up.
Xu Qin starts to drive.
Because it’s peak hour, there are traffic jams everywhere.
Xu Qin asks: “Where is Di Miao studying?”
Song Yan: “At A university.”
Xu Qin is shocked: “Her achievement is very good? — I remember she
used to love play around and didn’t like to study.
Song Yan sighs: “But she is smart.”
Xu Qin: “Why are you sighing?”
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Song Yan looks at her and he says: “She could get success easier than
other people. In the course of time, she isn’t revering to the customary
convention. Moreover, if she has too much confident on her ability, she
could play and trick other, it might be troublesome.”
Xu Qin starts to analyze, she suddenly says: “You are suitable to be head
of a household.”
………..
Very quickly they arrive at Qi Ye police station, Di Miao is sitting down
inside with her head hanging low. Looking at Song Yan, she immediately
stands up: “Ge!”
The police, who is sitting in front of her, is writing a report. At first he
wanted to tell her to sit down but looking at how young the police is and
how kind he is, he doesn’t bicker with the young woman.
Xu Qin follows behind Song Yan, she notices someone familiar, who is
sitting behind Di Miao. That was the woman that was chosen at the bar by
Meng Yan Chen —— Ye Zi.
Song Yan is relieved to see that Di Miao is okay, he approaches her and
asks: “What happened? Were you fighting with someone?”
He looks at Ye Zi, but Di Miao’s backpack is placed beside Ye Zi’s leg. It
seems that both of them are together.
“What fight…..” Di Miao’s face looks anxious, she wants to say something
but she notices Xu Qin, who is standing behind him. She turns unhappy:
“Why are you here—-“
Song Yan frowns and cuts her off: “Di Miao, why are you here? Why are
you going into a huff?”
Di Miao glares at Xu Qin and snorts. She plans to bicker for a moment,
though her expression is unhappy.
The police asks: “This is your Ge?”
Song Ya says: “Yes, what did she do?”
The police: “She is selling fake goods. The people, who is suing her, just
leaves.

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Song Yan is disbelieved about this: “Selling fake goods? She is just a
student ——“ Then he looks at Di Miao, his face changes. His tone also
changes: “What happened?”
Di Miao is afraid of him, she doesn’t dare to say anything. She stalls for a
long time and finally stamps her foot. She clutches his sleeve and says:
“Ge, hear me out. I just do part time job, I bought thing from someone and
sold it again. I was being deceived. I don’t know anything.”
“You are still telling lie?” The police brings a big bag of things and places
it on the table: “You really don’t know that those things are fake? You are
a college student, yet you sell fake things. This is a serious matter. Don’t
your teachers teach you?”
The police sighs: “You guys are receiving higher education, you should
know about the law yet you still break it. You guys are smart people, yet
you guys take a wrong road, later on you would be a great disaster for our
society.”
Song Yan glances at the pile of cosmetics products and bags. He shows
any hint of anxiousness anymore. Di Miao knows that she is wrong, she is
shocked.
Xu Qin looks at those products, she knows very clearly. She is afraid that
Song Yan also knows clearly that Di Miao is lying too.
Ye Zi is much calmer than Di Miao, she just sits down there without any
expression. Hearing Di Miao’s explanation, she also doesn’t respond. She
just takes her phone and ponders whether she should make a call or not.
Ye Zi lifts her head and notices Xu Qin is looking at her. She also
recognizes her. She is shocked for a while then she just be calm.
Di Miao is still pleading for leniency; “I really don’t know anything, I don’t
know whether these are fake or not. How could you only catch me when
there’re lots of other students do this too? I never buy these expensive
things, how could I know that these are all fake?”
The police still looks disbelief, Di Miao holds Song Yan’s arm: “Ge, help me
to speak ——“ Looking at how sour Song Yan’s face is, he is unhappy:
“What are you doing?”
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Song Yan’s gaze is cold: “You still feel that you are wronged?” He takes a
lipstick and asks: “How much you spend for this?”
Di Miao shivers and grumbles.
Song Yan says deeply: “Tell me!!”
Di Miao keeps on trembling, she says with a low voice: “The acquire stock
is 50, the price offer is 300.”
“The real price for this product is ——“ Song Yan pauses and asks Xu Qin.
“how much is the real price?”
Xu Qin is startled, yet she answers: “600.”
Song Yan asks Di Miao: “Part-time job? Are you stupid, how could you not
know that you are selling fake products? —- Till now, you still not admit
your mistake, you want to play smart and say you don’t know your
selling? you want to shove the responsibility. You think that the police is
stupid?”
The police is startled and nods.
Di Miao is so furious: “Don’t fan the flames okay?! I call you to help me.”
Song Yan says: “D*mm*t, I thought that you were on a fight. I don’t
expect that you are the one that need to be beaten. You make mistake,
think by yourself, how should you solve this matter?”
Di Miao: “How could I know how to solve this?”
Song Yan just asks directly: “Who is the person supplying all of these?”
Di Miao is startled and shuts up.
The police says: “I have asked her for so many times, she said that she
has no their contact information. She said that the supplier just looked for
her at her dorm. I want to look for her dorm mate, yet she doesn’t want to
tell from which university she is.”
Di Miao sobs: “Police, please be magnanimous. I am also still a student. If
you find my school, would I still be allowed to go to university.”
The police turns soft: “Now you know that you are wrong?”
Song Yan looks at Di Miao coldly and then glances at Ye Zi. Ye Zi meets
his eyes but very quickly she looks away.

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Di Miao doesn’t look at Song Yan anymore, she just keeps on begging the
police. She says: “I really don’t know the contact information of that Jie Jie
(Sister). Next time if she looks for me, I call 110 okay?” She looks like she
would cry soon. “You also have met my Ge, he would scold me. I promise
to go home and introspect myself, okay?”
The police hesitates and feels unease. He jabs on his pen: “With your
condition, the victim is suing you, so for this, we should contact your
university.”
Di Miao leans on the table and sobs: “If you report to me to the university
then I’ll be recorded for illegal activity! Please, Police! I beg you.”
The police asks: “You really don’t know?”
Di Miao shakes her head and raises her fingers: “I really don’t know.”
The police hesitates once more, then he sighs. He seems to believe her.
Song Yan finally speaks up: “Di Miao, I’ll ask you once more, who is the
supplier?”
Di Miao is startled and says with a low voice: “I really don’t know.”
Song Yan says to the police: “Inform the university”
Di Miao and Ye Zi are surprised at the same time.
The police asks again: “Which university?”
Di Miao’s face just falls apart, Song Yan is about to speak up.
Xu Qin calls after him: “Song Yan.”

Chapter 22
Song Yan is standing on the corridor and smoking. Xu Qin reminds him:
“This is not a small case, you really want to report it to her university?”
Song Yan just smokes and says nothing.
Xu Qin guesses: “You just want to scare her off right, let her says that the
supplier is Ye Zi?”
Song Yan looks at Xu Qin; “how do you know?”
Xu Qin: “Em, I feel that something is wrong with her.”

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Song Yan says: “I hope that Di Miao could make this clear. She should
make a stop for this. This is her responsibility, she shouldn’t avoid it; if it’s
not her mistake, of course I wouldn’t let her bare it.”
Xu Qin understands him well. He is an upright person, yet he also
someone that is very protective. Xu Qin says: “It’s useless to think about
it, Di Miao wouldn’t expose her.”
“Supposedly she still looks to continue do this business.” Song Yan
ridicules. “If she has that kind of thinking, it’s nothing if her action is
recorded by the university….. You also watched how stubborn she is. She
is so smart and doesn’t know she should repent and mend her ways. She
is using the police’s sympathy. That girl should be beaten.”
Xu Qin says: “If you are her Pa Ma, it doesn’t matter. She could be
expelled. But Jiu Jiu Jiu Ma ——“
Song Yan frowns, he looks troubled.
Jiu Jiu and Jiu Ma are good people. For this matter they would scold Di
Miao. But after all she is an adult now, they would worry about her.
Xu Qin looks at him: “Let me talk with Di Miao. You continue to exert
pressure to the police and let Ye Zi speaks up. I observed before that she
seems to want to contact someone, but she keeps on being hesitant. No
matter how, there’s a way to stop them to do this thing again.”
Song Yan looks at her and suddenly laughs: “one of us pretends to be
kind, while the other pretends to be harsh?”
………..
Both of them return to the police room, Di Miao is on alert, she is
examining Song Yan. She looks terrified.
Xu Qin says: “Di Miao, come out”
Though Di Miao doesn’t like Xu Qin but looking at how she helps her
before, she listens to her and comes out.
Inside the room, there are only three people now. Ye Zi doesn’t dare to
take a look at Song Yan.
Song Yan also doesn’t mind her, he looks at the police: “This student and
our Di Miao are together?”
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“Yes, they are.”
Song Yan asks: “Is the charge divided clearly?”
Ye Zi bites her lips.
The police hesitates: “Not yet….”
Song Yan: “you haven’t asked her?”
Police: “I’ve asked, but she said nothing.”
Song Yan doesn’t speak any nonsense anymore, he looks at Ye Zi and
says: “You are Di Miao’s supllier right?”
Ye Zi holds her phone tightly and says nothing.
Song Yan doesn’t want to waste anymore time with her and looks at the
police. He says: “Di Miao is doing something wrong, we would bare the
consequences; but this student couldn’t get by under false pretense. If Di
Miao is the one that drags her into this, we would take responsibility; but if
she is the one that drags her, we definitely would see for justice. Now she
is alone, she shouldn’t be alone, call her family or friends. If she keeps on
being silent, just call her teacher. I know from which university she is, it’s
easy to find which department she is from.”
When Song Yan says all of that, he doesn’t look at Ye Zi. Ye Zi hangs her
head low.
Di Miao could hear the conversation inside, she is afraid and feels so
embarrassed. Her face is blushing and then paled up. In one side she
hates that Song Yan be so strict, on the other side, she knows that he is
doing this because he loves her.
Xu Qin takes Di Miao to the end of the corridor.
Xu Qin looks at her: “Before you listened to your Ge’s words right?”
Di Miao looks around and doesn’t look at Xu Qin.
Xu Qin asks: “Do you know what is your mistake?”
Di Miao feels so messed up. Looking at how Xu Qin is talking about her,
she feels so annoyed: “Don’t think that because you helped me to talk, I
would respect you. Stop pretending, no need to care about my business.”
Then she just leaves. Xu Qin just grabs her arm and pulls her back. Di
Miao almost falls down.
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Xu Qin says coldly: “Di Miao, you have no skill so don’t be unrestrained.”
Di Miao is so furious and comes forward toward her: “Then do you have
skill?”
“Now with my one word, you could come out from here and you might
also be not able to go out from here. Do you believe me?” Xu Qin asks.
Di Miao chokes.
Xu Qin knows about her temper, so she simply doesn’t do any sweet talk:
“You feel you are great? You feel that you are smart right? But today you
make a small mistake, your Ge could help you just by paying the fine. But
what about the next time? What if the victim suffers a swollen face and is
asking you to be jailed. It’s no use even to let your Pa Ma kneels down and
beg?”
Di Miao shivers for a while: “Those are not authentic but it’s standard——“
“You want to argue with me?” Xu Qin asks.
Di Miao bites her lips.
“Honestly, I don’t care about you.” Xu Qin says, “But you make trouble for
Song Yan. You are an adult now, you should bare responsibility for what
you do by yourself.”
Di Miao is speechless, she says: “Xu Qin, you are really a hypocrite.”
Xu Qin says calmly: “I know, I don’t need you to tell me. But you, you
don’t know yourself. Your Ge said that you are smart, I think you are the a
foolish and in a complete mess.”
Di Miao wants to get angry again, Xu Qin cuts her off. “Your university is
very good and has a lot of talented students. After graduated there, you
have a great and limitless prospect, it’s waiting for you to strive it. But
you, you should study yet you don’t go study well. You just waste your
time for selling these fake goods, you just look for a short-term profit.
Aren’t you foolish?”
Di Miao feels like she is being slapped.
“Go over and confess to your Ge.” Xu Qin says: “He also doesn’t want to
force you to road of destruction. But you don’t know why this is wrong so
he should be ruthless.”
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Di Miao’s face turns sour yet she is calmer.
Di Miao looks for Song Yan again and admits her mistake. She also admits
to him that she takes those fake goods from Ye Zi. But after all they are
classmates, she doesn’t feel okay to expose her. Song Yan doesn’t want
to mind Ye Zi’s business so he doesn’t force her.
Di Miao apologizes to the police and promises to not doing that again.
“Okay.” The police says: “Pay the fine.”
“The penalty form is out, 2,000.
Di Miao looks at it and be startled. She doesn’t say anything and just holds
the paper.
Song Yan says nothing and just looks at the paper. He takes out his wallet
and picks out twenty red money paper. She passes it to the police.
The police comes over and counts.
Everyone is quiet, Xu Qin glances at Di Miao. Her lips are tighten.
Suddenly she just raises her head and looks at the ceiling, her heart
should be really in pain right now.
For earning that 2,000, her Ge should go inside the fire scene for so many
times, he should jump from a high building so many times.
The police seems to not the that money is earned by her Ge’s sweat and
blood. He just takes the money and says: “Okay, it’s done. Next time don’t
do it anymore. If you make mistake again, it’ll not be this lenient. You
would be held in custody.”
Di Miao doesn’t say anything.
Song Yan pats her shoulder and says: “He is talking with you.”
“Okay, I got it.” Di Miao says and doesn’t look at Song Yan.
“Okay, it’s great that you got it now.” The police finishes his words and
looks at Ye Zi: “You also need to pay for the penalty. —— If you don’t
bring any money, let your friend bring it for you.”
“I’ll make a call.” Ye Zi finally speaks up, she stands up and looks at Xu
Qin.
Xu Qin could guess who would she call. After a while, she returns.
The police asks: “Are you done?”
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“Yes.” Ye Zi says and returns to her seat to sit down.
Less than a minute, a thirty years old man comes over. The police
immediately stands up: “Captain.”
The captain looks at those three women and asks the police: “Xiao Chen,
who did call Senior Officer Meng?”
The police, Xiao Chen, is stupefied. He points at Ye Zi.
The captain walks over and bends his body. He extends his hand to shake
Ye Zi’s hand: “Hi, I’m the captain of this Qi Ye police station, Liu Zi
Guang.”
Ye Zi shakes his hand and smiles. She is polite.
Di Miao watches everything and frowns.
The captain says to Xiao Chen: “This should be a misunderstanding.”
Xiao Chen immediately understands what is happening, the captain has
said that way so he as a little police shouldn’t do anything reckless.
“Sorry to waste your time. I’ll send you out.” The captain says to Ye Zi. Ye
Zi stands up and the captain lets her go. The time she passes by, she
bumps into Xu Qin’s shoulder. Yet Xu Qin does’t care, they both just go
out. She looks back at Song Yan, they also leave. The police takes out the
2000 Yuan. Xu Qin’s face changes, she hopes that nothing would happen.
The captain says nothing.
The police is considering what should he do.
Song Yan doesn’t take it: “She made mistake, she should pay for the
penalty.” He says: “My Mei Mei (Younger sister) isn’t together with her.”
Xu Qin doesn’t say anything, the police also feels awkward: “Oh, she isn’t
together. Okay.”
Song Yan says those words. Di Miao hears it very clearly. She looks at
2000, her eyes are red, she hangs her head low.
Song Yan strokes her head and says: “Let’s go. Send you back to the
university.”
Spending 2,000 to buy her repentance, it’s quite worthwhile for him. So
even it would be 20,000. He also wouldn’t blink to pay it.
———
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At the entrance of the local police, the captain is still with Ye Zi, he is
accompanying her to wait fo ra car.
A car stops.
Xu Qin looks at that car and she slows her steps. Yet Song Yan and Di
Miao are walking in front of her, she couldn’t walk too far away. Song Yan
also recognizes that car’s license plate. She doesn’t expect Meng Yan
Chen would send a car to pick her up.
The captain opens the door for Ye Zi, Ye Zi gets on the car. The police bids
goodbye with Ye Zi.
That car is still waiting there like the driver is waiting for someone.
The driver opens up the window, Xu Qin knows the driver. “Da Xiao Jie
(Miss), do you need me to send you there?”
The captain turns his head back and doesn’t know there’s Da Xiao Jie.
Xu Qin says: “No need, my car is in front.”
Di Miao is doubting Ye Zi’s call. Now she is picked up with an expensive
car, she also seems to be related to Meng family. She is confused.
She looks back at Song Yan, Song Yan shows no expression. Xu Qin also
seems calm. Both of them don’t look at each other, they seem to have a
mutual understanding.
In front of police station, there’s seem to be an invisible distinct border
between them.
Di Miao feels so heartbroken, she runs to hold Song Yan’s arm. She allows
no explanation: “Ge, let’s go.”
Song Yan looks at Xu Qin and says shortly: “I’ll go first.”
Xu Qin: “Em.”
Di Miao holds Song Yan’s arm and walks quickly. Her tears fall down. She
hates herself to make Song Yan be humiliated.
Ge, this world is not fair. Really, you are a hundredfold better than that
person, really. You are better by a hundredfold.”
Di Miao bites her lips: “Ge, I wouldn’t be foolish anymore. I promise.”
Song Yan understands that she feels unhappy. Actually he doesn’t really
care, it’s just —— If it’s not because someone that he likes……..
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He smiles and strokes her head. He says nothing.
Di Miao looks at his side face.
Di Miao’s tears fall even faster. She wipes her tears and decides: “Ge,
don’t date early and get marry. Wait till I graduate and find a good job. I
would buy Porsche for your wedding car, I also would buy Sao Zi (sister-in-
law) branded bags, it’ll be authentic ones. Later on if I get marry, I would
move all the good things from my husband’s family to your house.”
Song Yan finds that to both funny and annoying: “Nonsense.”
Di Miao keeps on talking and looks back at Xu Qin. Xu Qin is standing
there, the captain is standing there. and that car is still there too.
Di Miao feels afraid, she looks at Song Yan and worried that he would look
back. She holds his arm and walks faster.
Song Yan knows her thought clearly.
So he didn’t look back.
Xu Qin keeps on watching them. She knows that he wouldn’t look back,
yet she keeps on watching them. When they reach the corner and
disappears, there only yellow gingko leaves around.
He doesn’t look back at her.
The spring is really wonderful, it’s clear that she should feel warm too but
she feels so dull and desolate.

Chapter 23
Xu Qin drives her car back to Meng family house, Meng Yan Chen’s car
stops in front of the entrance.
Xu Qin gets inside the house and notices that the atmosphere in the
house is different. Meng Yan Chen is sitting down in the dining room and
eating his noodle. Fu Wen Ying is sitting dow beside him. She is looking at
him with a loving gaze.
Hearing the sound of the door, Meng Yan Chen glances over. His gaze
stops at Xu Qin for a second and then he turns away.
Fu Wen Ying seems to be in a great mood, she smiles: “Qin Qin, you are
home?”
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Xu Qin greets her.
Fu Wen Ying: “You still haven’t eaten your breakfast right? Come over and
eat noodle with your Ge. I just told him that I’m afraid that you would
forget. I just asked him to call you. Yan Chen said that I don’t need to do
it. It seems that I’m too worried.”
Xu Qin takes off her shoes and suddenly remembers that today is Meng
Yan Chen’s birthday.
She forgets about it.
She stands up and could feel that Meng Yan Chen is still looking at her.
Being together for so many years as siblings, she knows his temper very
well. He has the same temper as her. Though he is constrained to certain
extend yet he wouldn’t show it out.
Xu Qin changes into her slippers and sits down on the opposite of Meng
Yan Chen.
Fu Wen Ying asks: “Have you eaten?”
At first Xu Qin wanted to lie, but she couldn’t eat anymore, she says: “I
have eaten, I’ll just drink soup.”
Fu Wen Ying asks the Jia Yi (Auntie Jia) to serve her a bowl of soup.
Fu Wen Ying smiles at Xu Qin and then looks at Meng Yan Chen. She says:
“In a flash, you guys are growing a lot.”
Xu Qin takes a bowl of soup from Jia Yi.
Fu Wen Ying: “When I gave birth to Meng Yan Chen, I was so tossed from
side to side. I laid on the hospital bed for whole seven hours and you still
didn’t want to go out. Your Pa said that this kid would be so troublesome.
He asked me to be grieved.”
Xu Qin and Meng Yan Chen drink their soup.
“At last it’s all nonsense. In this world, there’s no trouble free child as Yan
Chen. He never breaks Mama’s heart. I remember when he was little ——“
Fu Wen Ying seems to have a lot of words to talk today, she talks about
Meng Yan Chen’s birth process. She always talks about that for every
Meng Yan Chen’s birthday but none of the kids are cutting her off.

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Meng Yan Chen needs to go to work so after eating his noddle, he goes
upstair to get ready.
Xu Qin returns to her bedroom and takes a wood sculpture of little Meng
Yan Chen, then she goes to his bedroom. She knocks on the door.
“Get in.”
Xu Qin gets inside. Meng Yan Chen is tidying up his clothes. He has
changed his clothes into black shirt and black trousers. He looks very tall
and cold.
Xu Qin passes the wood carving to him.
Meng Yan Chen takes it and glances at her. Then he turns his body and
walks to his drawer. He opens it up and throws it inside. Inside the
drawers there are big and small of Meng Yan Chen.
He closes it.
He doesn’t look at her and just wears his thin sweater.
Xu Qin stands there for a few seconds and speaks up: “Happy birthday, all
wishes come true.”
Meng Yan Chen doesn’t answer.
Xu Qin walks toward the door and then hears Meng Yan Chen says: “Is
there anything else you want to say?”
Xu Qin stops.
There’s nothing to ask about Ye Zi’s matter. For her, he wouldn’t do that
thing.
Maybe that’s for ——
Let it be.
Today is his birthday.
Xu Qin says: “No.” Then she opens the door.
“Didn’t you come home to ask me something?” Meng Yan Chen asks:
“Don’t tell me that you come home because you remember that today is
my birthday.”
Xu Qin holds the door and says: “You are too much.”

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“What?” He looks at the mirror and tidies up his collar. Then he
unexpectedly laughs: “You are heartbroken because your miserable self-
proud man?”
He always be a good person with self-control, he rarely be unkind. But
every time in connection with Song Yan, he would do something extreme.
How could for small matters, he called the captain of that small local
police station, he even asked his driver to pick that girl up. It’s clearly to
draw a line between Song Yan and her.
He never abuses his power, she knows it clearly. But for this time.
Xu Qin closes the door again.
She looks at him. “Meng Yan Chen, what are you doing?”
Meng Yan Chen also looks at her:”What do you want to do?”
Xu Qin says nothing.
Meng Yan Chen looks at her and then opens up his wardrobe. He chooses
one of his coats. “Of course, if you just want to play around, then it’s okay.
But if you are getting serious, I advise you to stop it before you are going
further.”
He takes off the grey coat from the hanger and hangs the hanger back.
Xu Qin asks: “So now you are using your status as guardian of mine to
handle me?”
Meng Yan Chen: “If not?”
For these two, even when they are fighting, they both would act so calm.
Xu Qin watches him wearing his coat and says: “Meng Yan Chen, don’t
intervene my business anymore. With whom I would marry, with whom I
would go for blind date, with whom I would date, with whom I would play
—— it’s all unrelated to you.”
She says it and the room turns silent for few seconds.
Meng Yan Chen doesn’t look at her, he lowers his head and tidies up his
sleeve. He always her clothes tidily.
At last, he speaks: “Not him.”
Meng Yan Chen repeats: “Not him.”
Xu Qin finds this is absurd: “Why—-“
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“He doesn’t deserve you.” He cuts her off quickly. “I request you to look
for someone that deserves you.”
Xu Qin lowers her voice: “Don’t talk too undue.”
“I am undue?” Meng Yan Chen smiles and says lightly: “What has he done
for you? As long as he is sincere toward you, that year he should try hard
for you for not breaking up for just minor reason; if he is really sincere
toward you, he wouldn’t only be firefighter right now, he would strive to
provide well for you. He even couldn’t buy you a decent necklace.”
Xu Qin’s face turns tense, she feels like he is opening up her scar.
She is not a naive little girl that lives in a dream, she also doesn’t seek for
a platonic love of Plato’s ideology. She is very hypocrite, she is also
shrewd, she also could scheme, she could compare and contrast.
But for her to give up everything: Power, status, money, wealth, parent’s
affection, for him;
Then why?
What does he have and offer that he asks her to do that way?
This early morning when she stood in front of the local police station, she
watched Song Yan walked away, she was thinking about it so she didn’t
chase after him.
But that time she couldn’t come up into a conclusion, now she also still
doesn’t understand yet she doesn’t want to think about it. She doesn’t
want to show her scar to be tore open by Meng Yan Chen.
She smiles lightly and asks: “What have you ever done for me? That time
you asked me to not like you anymore, you said that in the future you
wouldn’t mind me. It’s you that said you want me to change my family
name to be part of Meng family, your Mei Mei. You think that my feeling is
a machine? It’s okay, I did what you want that time. Now you still want to
intervene and meddle with my business, don’t you think that you are too
false?”
Meng Yan Chen listens to her words and opens up his watch cabinet. He
takes one of his watch.

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“Why did I persuade you? Hah, why did I persuade you? If you didn’t
change your family name, Mama would send you out. This lifetime you
wouldn’t ——“
Xu Qin is startled, actually she doesn’t know the real reason.
“If I like you, if I like you —-“ He shakes his head and stops talking.
“I have wasted these ten years to accept the fact that one day you would
marry to someone else. But Song Yan, he shouldn’t be that someone.”
Meng Yan Chen looks at Xu Qin.
“So what would you do? Em? For him, you would beg Pa Ma, you would
make fuss for him? Then what about me? What do you want me to do?
You want me to stay on the side and watch? Watch you to beg Pa Ma for a
petty person like him? Or do you want me to watch you ruthlessly break
us apart? Tell me, this time should I just watch or should I talk you out of
it?”
Xu Qin looks at him,she could see a hint of misery and anger on his face.
He walks over and wants to hold her shoulder. But suddenly he doesn’t do
it, he remembers that it is taboo to touch her.
“Please I beg you, to give me a bit of respect. If you could be together
with him, then why ——“
He takes a deep breath. He couldn’t continue his words.
Why I couldn’t be with you?
If for being with him, you are ready to risk everything in your life, why
couldn’t you be with me?
Meng Yan Chen turns his body and walks toward the window.
His back is facing her. He opens up the drawer and overturns all the wood
carvings inside it.
She couldn’t see what he is doing. He just arranges all the Meng Yan
Chen’s wood carvings to stand.
“You wish all my wishes come true?” He strokes the head of the wood
carving. “You know clearly what I want, how could you wish that all my
wishes come true?”
“Forget it.” Meng Yan Chen leaves the room.
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Xu Qin stands there for a while and listens to him walk very fast. She even
could hear his car engine. He has left.
She looks at the window. The sun is shinning bright, yellow leaves are
everywhere.
She looks at how they are blown by the wind, it seems so relaxing.
She is so exhausted.
……….
Song Yan sends Di Miao back to the university. Di Miao hasn’t had her
breakfast so she orders a bowl of noodle at the canteen.
Anyway Song Yan has nothing to do, it’s rare chance for him to be this
idle. He accompanies her. He orders a bottle of water for himself. He
drinks the water and remembers the moment Xu Qin and him part in front
of local police station. He knows her thought clearly.
There’re lots of people in the canteen. Song Yan is handsome and mature.
He is stylish too, unlike those male students who dress in ordinary way.
He attracts a lot of attention from male students.
Di Miao kicks Song Yan’s leg lightly under the table: “Ge, that beautiful
woman is looking at you.”
Song Yan doesn’t mind.
Di Miao continues to kick him: “Take a look, take a look whether she is
beautiful or not.”
Song Yan is impatient: “Hurry up finish your noodle, then go to the class.”
“This morning I have no class.” Di Miao asks and returns to the topic. “Ge,
actually you have a very good standard. If you don’t want to get married
soon, then you could date first. Then —-“
Song Yan: “The food couldn’t make you shut up?”
Di Miao glares at him and continues to eat her noodle. After a while, she
suddenly raises her head and asks: “Ge, tell me honestly, do you still like
her?”
Song Yan frowns and wants to scold her again, but his phone suddenly
vibrates. He takes it out. Unexpectedly it’s a message Xu Qin. It’s only one
sentence.
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“Tomorrow I’ll treat you a meal.”
Then she shares a location.
Song Yan watches that message and be silent for few seconds. He has a
bad premonition, it’s not a good thing.
He just replies: “Okay”.
Then he puts away his phone. Di Miao says: “Ge, tell me honestly. I am
asking you seriously. Do you still like her?”
This time Song Yan laughs, he says: “It’s better if we don’t met.”
Di Miao asks: “If you guys meet?”
Song Yan: “When we meet, I just don’t want to not meet again.”
Di Miao’s shoulder just collapses, she look so disappointed. Yet at last she
accepts it: “Okay, then in the future I’ll be more polite toward her. I
wouldn’t make a scene with my Ma.”
Song Yan is speechless and laughs: “Then let me thank you.”
Di Miao stirs her noodle, she has lost her appetite. She considers and
says: “Ge, I feel that she also like you. Then why don’t you guys be
together and forget everything else?”
Song Yan doesn’t want to talk about it, he just stalls: “You don’t
understand.”
Di Miao is unhappy. She puts down her chopsticks and argues with him: “I
understand. Isn’t it because of her family? I think you are too
conventional. Now what a person pursue, he/she pursues freedom,
happiness, pleasure. If you like each other, then be together, the future is
too far away. It doesn’t matter if you couldn’t get marry for the time
being. You could just date and wait and see. Just be together and see
whether you guys could continue to be together. If you couldn’t, then just
break up. That’s better that what happened to you guys right now. At
least you could enjoy your moment of togetherness. No matter it is about
your spirit or flesh. Anyway you wouldn’t suffer losses.”
Song Yan: “Nonsense.”

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“It’s true. Who makes rule that dating would end well? Let me tell you Ge,
you clearly you could date so many times, but why should you be faithful
to her to the end?”
Song Yan stands up: “I’ll go home first, study well.”
“Ay, Ay, you are really leaving?”
Song Yan walks out of the canteen quickly, the time he reaches the
bypath, he recalls what Di Miao said to him. He feels that it’s
unbelievable, but he couldn’t refute.
He and Xu Qin has walked into a dead end, they couldn’t come out
anymore.
He looks around the university complex. Students are in twos and threes,
they are sitting around the garden on the bench to study. Few of them are
jogging around. They are young and full of energy.
Song Yan unconsciously remembers his days during college. That
countless days for day and night he would study hard inside the
classroom, he would work out on the sports field.
Xu Qin doesn’t know that he used to return to the same school and repeat
a course from which one has already graduated as a result of failing to get
good enough result to progress to one’s desired higher-level school. He
had entered the best military academy. He also had went through the
most difficult experience. He thought that he could have a military
success and CV to come and show her.
Yet he didn’t expect that it’s too good to be true. There’s someone behind
that could make him drop to the abyss with no hope of reprieve.
Song Yan takes out his cigarette and smokes it.
Female students around notice him and watch him.
Song Yan leaves the university and walks toward the subway station, he
passes a street. There’s a car, he remembers the license plate, he has
ever seen it.
Yet he ignores it, he just smokes and passes it.

Chapter 24
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Meng Yan Chen’s birthday, at night there’s a family feast.
The closely related kins are coming over, the ninety five years old Meng
Ye Ye (Grandpa Meng) also comes over to the house.
Meng Ye Ye is a person who was born into a well-educated and influential
family. He abandoned his love for literature for revolution. He is a
founding father. He has three sons and one daughter. Meng Huai Jin is
grandpa’s Meng youngest son. Meng Yan Chen is also the youngest
grandsons.
As for his great-grandson, the oldest great grandson has graduated and
worked. He is in the same PLA military region as Meng Huai Jin
Though it’s only small scale family feast, but it’s so crowded and lively.
There’s no friend coming over as Meng family always avoids the
opportunity to receive any gift.
Only Xiao Yi Xiao comes over, he gives Meng Yan Chen a present of Xing
Zhan’s model. He also brings a lollipop for Xu Qin.
Meng Yan Chen’s oldest nephew ridicules him: “Why do you always come
every year?”
Xiao Yi Xiao responds: “Go to the front gate and serve on sentry duty.”
Because there’re so many people, Xu Qin and Meng Yan Chen don’t need
to mind each other.
The dinner ends, at the males are gathering to talk about work, the
females are gathering to talk about daily life of families.
Xu Qin accompanies the relatives to sit down for a while. Then when it’s
done, she goes upstair to her own room. She takes her wood and starts to
carve again.
After a while, she goes downstair again to take a look.
The time she passes the study room, she hears several seniors are
chatting, they are discussing a serious matter.
Xu Qin heard from Meng Yan Chen that San Bo (Third uncle) has plan to
enter the secretariat, but because of his qualifications, no matter whether
it is ability or aptitude or connection. it’s enough. Yet Meng Yan Chen

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recently is transferred to another post. Meng Yan Chen has progressed
impressively.
Xu Qin doesn’t mind those things, she just listens a few isolated phrases.
“…… Let Lao Si and Secretary Jiang Ke Cun get in touch with each other.
Lao Si doesn’t like to do this way based on his natural disposition, but for
maintaining connection, you should help him.”
Fu Wen Ying: “Don’t worry. We always have a good relationship with each
other. Qin Qin and his son, Jiang Yu, had blind date together. Yet there’s
no progress. It’s hard to know what they are thinking.”
Er Gu Ma (Second Auntie): “Your kids are very well-behaved. You don’t
need to worry. They are unlike the son of Zhan family, who just knows to
drink. I heard that he made a female student gets pregnant. Now the
female student is sent abroad. The son of Zhan family makes fuss with the
family everyday.”
“They are not good at educating their children.” Da Yi (Oldest Auntie)
says.
Xu Qin goes toward the corridor and goes downstair.
The maids are quick in cleaning up. All the messy plates are gone.
Everything has turned so neat and clean.
She walks around the living room and dining. She walks around and finally
she just questions what is her reason to come down.
She stands there blankly for ten seconds and goes back.
She passes by the small reception pavilion and sees there’s an old and
middle-aged father, who are sitting down in front of the coffee table. —-
Meng Huai Jin is peeling an orange for the old man.
He is patient and peeling the orange one by one for the old man. The old
man takes and eats it slowly.
Meng Huai Jin is serving him patiently. Every time the old man swallows it,
Meng Huai Jin would pass him another one.
Xu Qin opens the door of the small reception pavilion and gets in. She
greets them. “Pa, Ye Ye.”

158
The old man couldn’t recognize her clearly but Meng Huai Jin could
recognize her.
Meng Huai Jin asks Xu Qin. “Your Ma dislikes your job because it’s too
tiring. I feel that it’s okay as long as you like it.”
“Thank you Pa.”
Meng Huai Jin laughs and asks: “Except working, do you have anything
that you don’t like?”
Xu Qin doesn’t say anything, though she doesn’t love to talk. But Meng
Huai Jin could know whether she feels relaxed or gloomy.
“Recently does your Mama ask you to go to blind date?”
Xu Qin doesn’t hide that fact: “Couldn’t I find someone that I like?”
Meng Huai Jin looks at her: “Now you have someone that you like?”
Xu Qin doesn’t answer directly: “I don’t want to live a well-arranged life, I
also don’t want to have a life that has everything.”
“Even if that means that the days would be happy and worry-free?”
Xu Qin doesn’t answer and asks: “Pa, do you love Mama?”
“Of course.”
“I heard from Ge, that at first you guys weren’t allowed to date freely
too.”
Meng Huai Jin remembers the past and feels something is funny. “Not only
that we weren’t allowed to date freely, that time Papa also liked another
woman.”
“But why —-“
“She isn’t a suitable one.”
“Then do you have any regret?”
Meng Huai Jin’s smile turns gentle: “I don’t have any regret. If you pursue
love, you should pay the price. The price is irreversible. The result is
indefinite so I retreat. Time is the best medicine. Then I forget about her
and falls in love with your Mama.”
Xu QIn ponders for a while and shakes her head: “That because you guys
live a happy and relaxed life together.”

159
“Right.” Meng Huai Jin looks at Xu Qin once more: “Because having a
happy and free life so it creates a new love. In the contrary, if two people
in love yet they don’t match with each other, they would have a difficult
life. They would bicker and argue. Love might changes into hatred in
difficult time.”
“Love is only temporary thing, but family love would last.” Meng Huai Jin
sighs and smiles: “Of course, this is our thought as old people. We are
experienced ones. You guys are young and holds up freedom. I don’t
really understand it.”
Xu Qin returns back upstair alone.
It’s obvious there are lots of people in the house, but it’s so quiet.
She opens her own bedroom, her table lamp is on. She comes over the
table and looks at the small wood figurine with firefighter suit. It’s
unfinished—- the face is vague, the head is not completed yet.
Xu Qin stands in front of the table and looks at its face for a long time,
suddenly she just throws it to the most bottom drawer and closes it off.
………….
Xu Qin invites Song Yan to have a meal at the fifth-floor restaurant inside
Si Xi Di department store of SOHO.
Xu Qin stands on the escalator and looks around. It’s all designed
perfectly.
It’s not far away from Christmas so the department is designed in a lot of
red balls. It’s too showy.
A lot of couples are passing by, some of them are wearing couple clothes.
That time Xu Qin notices Song Yan, his hands are inside his pocket. He is
standing straight and holding the rail of the escalator. He is looking
forward, he is thinking about something.
Though there’re lots of people, but Song Yan stands out among them.
Song Yan approaches her and she points toward not-so-far place: “That
one.”
They both walk toward the restaurant, they say nothing on the way. The
waiter takes them to their table.
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The restaurant is styled in Chinese style.
Xu Qin sits down, yet she doesn’t look at Song yan. She finds the waiter
and asks for two glasses of water. It’s different from Song Yan, Song Yan
sits down and keeps on watching her. He doesn’t look at other places.
After the waiter leaves, Xu Qin looks at Song Yan. “Today you would
return to the camp?”
Song Yan: “Em.’
Xu Qin glances at her phone. Now it’ s 11:00 a.m., he would return to the
camp around 06:00 p.m.
She says: “You could rest for half day more.”
Song Yan doesn’t answer, he just smiles. He is looking at he with a
strange gaze like he is watching an absurd drama.
“This restaurant’s ——“
Song Yan doesn’t want her to talk around: “Xu Qin, just get to the point.”
The waiter comes over with two glasses of water. Xu Qin seizes the gap in
time to take her own glass.
Song Yan says to her: “Finish your words before you drink.”
Xu Qin lowers her head for a while and then raises her head again to look
at him. “I treat you a meal because I want to thank you for saving me. Just
like that.”
Song Yan waits for few seconds and knows that she is done. She has
nothing else to say. He moves his gaze and looks at the scenery
downstair. He suddenly just snorts.
Then the time he looks at her again, he is not smiling anymore: “Xu Qin,
few days ago you wanted to get back with me. Now you back out and feel
it’s not worthy. You don’t want to play around. Is it so hard to say it?”
“I thought after few years, at least your personality would be more
nimble.” He laughs and mocks her: “Or is it because you have decided but
you want to have a little leeway?”
He exposes her base ruthlessly; yet this moment, she feels more relaxed.

161
She really feels curious how could he know her so well, she is indeed a
selfish and greedy person. She is a shilly-shally person, with insatiable
desire.
All along in front of him, she always looks so ugly and nasty. At this step,
she wants to have an escape route. It’s too shameful.
Finally Xu Qin nods and forces to make a decision. “Em, this meal is my
token of thankfulness, then in the future we also —-“
“We would not owe one another anymore.”
It’s a silence.
Suddenly Song Yan has nothing else to say.
He just looks at her. He is very calm and silent. It’s obvious there’re lots of
emotions, but it’s too silent that it makes people feel so desperate. Xu Qin
feels it’s hard to breath.
Song Yan just keeps on watching her face, that’s all.
He examines at her face. She has been a doctor for quite some time, she
has no habit to put on the make up. He looks at her clean forehead, her
fine eyelashes, her black eyes, her small nose, her red lips.
It’s better to not meet.
Really.
It’s better to not meet each other.
In front of him, it’s the woman that he really likes. She is an artificial,
greedy, weak, and ruthless woman.
Xu Qin, if I just know you now, if I just know you at this age, even if you
possess millions and millions of assets, I also wouldn’t like you.
That year looking at the window from inside the glass, it’s his fate.
He didn’t expect that just by looking, it’ll take his heart and life.
Yet he says nothing, he has no extra sentence to say to her.
He just smiles and says: “Okay.”
Xu Qin feels her heart is breaking.
She looks at him. Their eyes are looking at each other. Unexpectedly
there’s nothing to say between them.

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The waiter comes back and Xu Qin just looks at her. She takes the menu
from the waiter and flips it open. Yet suddenly she notices that man is
standing up.
That’s right. Based on his temper, how could he continue to sit down
there? How could he stay calm and eat together with her?”
Xu Qin lifts her head, Song Yan says: “I’ll go.”
She is startled but after a second, she turns calm. She doesn’t urge him to
stay: “Okay.”
Song Yan nods like his way of saying goodbye to him.
Xu Qin sits there for a while, she even doesn’t blink. She is afraid whether
this really would be the ending between them.
The department store is so crowded, people are coming and leaving.
The waiter is standing there and waiting politely.
Song Yan is about to leave.
Until ——
Suddenly there’s a scream.
“There’s a fire! Help ah!”

Chapter 25
“Fire! Fire!’ Someone screams outside the restaurant on the fifth floor.
Song Yan rushes outside the restaurant. Xu Qin and the waiter also come
out because of the shouting.
The women and the kids are holding hands to leave the fifth floor.
Everyone else starts to observe what is happening. A lot of them are
holding their phone or calling someone.
The fire is from the craft studio on the fifth floor. It happens during the
class.
According to the escapees, someone was smoking in secretly and didn’t
expect that it would light the paper material.
Inside the craft studio, there’re a lot of papers so the fire is spreading
quickly. The female students are shock. They are screaming and running
out of the room.
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Song Yan pushes aside the crowd and runs toward the craft studio’s glass
door. He sees a woman who is left alone. She is locked inside the fire.
Song Yan pats the glass door, the woman looks panic. Song Yan does a
sign to her.
That woman immediately understands what he wants, she puts away all of
the paper materials on her body.
Song Yan turns his body and runs toward the crowd.
Xu Qin asks the waiter: “Where’s the fire hydrant of your department
store?”
The waiter is stupefied: “Fire hydrant? I don’t know about it.”
Xu Qin runs pass the crowd and looks around. She looks at Song Yan.
Song Yan has looked for the fire hydrant earlier when he entered the
department store, it’s part of his habit. He observes the area roughly. He
reminds the woman then he runs toward the fire hydrant. He takes off the
water belt.
Song Yan: “All of you move away!”
Everyone watches Song Yan and makes a way for him. No one knows what
this man would do.
Though the fire just flames for a minute and half but because the papers,
everything is in flame. The woman starts to cry.
Everyone starts to take photo and calls the police,
The roll of water pipe is unfolded but the water switch is not on yet, he
wants to yell to someone to switch it on.
He notices that Xu Qin is standing near the fire hydrant, she yells at him:
“Which direction?”
Song Yan: “Clockwise!”
Xu Qin exerts all of her energy and wrings it. The water starts to come
out.
Everyone is watching it intensely.
Song Yan keeps on running toward the store, he gets inside the studio. He
notices that people are still around and watching. Song Yan just shouts

164
angrily: “D*mm*t, move away!” Those women are blushing and retreating
but they keep on holding their phone.
The woman, who is locked inside, doesn’t dare to move. Song Yan grabs
that woman’s hand and pulls her over.
That woman just holds him.
Song Yan is holding a sprinkler and also clutching her hand. He is walking
outside the studio again. That woman’s friend immediately takes the her
from him.
After he is done rescuing the woman, he gets into the fire scene again. A
group of women cry out in alarm: “Don’t get in!”
“It’s too dangerous!”
Song Yan just gets inside the studio without looking back. The fire is
terrible inside.
Xu Qin comes over and watches what is happening.
Everyone is watching and doesn’t make any sound.
Song Yan, who is wearing a grey coat and black trousers, he clearly
dresses the same as ordinary people. But during the holiday, during
strolling around. He is like a commoner, he is not made from steel. He is
made from flesh and blood. The high temperature could burn him and
make him hard to breath. The fire could hurt his hand too.
A female comes pushes Xu Qin lightly: “Are you guys together?”
Xu Qin regains herself and doesn’t answer. The female seems to worship
Song Yan so much: “He is like a hero.”
Another female corrects her:”What do you mean like? He is.”
“Right, that’s right.”
Xu Qin looks at the woman, who is being rescued. She comes over and
says: “Do you have any injury?”
“I’m just being burned, but there’s nothing major.”
Xu Qin checks on her arm and says: “It’s nothing serious, you could just
go to the pharmacy and buys an ointment there.”
When they are talking, the fire has extinguished.
Sogn Yan says hoarsely and yells: “Switch it off.”
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“Switch it off.”
“Switch it off.”
The people around yell.
A man, who is standing near the fire hydrant, switches it off.
The area is so messed up, there’s black water everywhere.
Song Yan’s body is full of dust. He starts to fold the water belt.
Xu Qin comes over and examines him: “Do you have any injury?”
Song Yan just passes by her and says nothing.
Xu Qin just stands there and watches him.
A lot of females want to give him towel to let him wipes her face. He
doesn’t refuse them and just takes the towel.
Song Yan is done folding the water belt, he puts everything inside the fire
hydrant.
The manager of the department store comes over and thanks him.
Song Yan asks coldly: “Your department store’s fire safety report has no
problem?”
The person in charge keeps silent. He wants to take her to chat alone, but
he is helpless as the firefighters of Si Xi Di have come over too.
Song Yan hands over everything to firefighters of Si Xi Di, he says nothing
else and just leaves.
Xu Qin goes toward the elevator and sees that Song Yan is going down
from the fifth floor with elevator.
Very quickly Song Yan disappears from her sight.
………………….
When he is arrived at the first floor, he gives Si Xi Di firefighter
administration. He gets right to the point:
“Is there someone in firefighter group receive money for Si Xi Di’s SOHO’s
fire safety inspection?”
That firefighter administration is silent: “What?”
“For that Si Xi Di’s SOHO, as early as possible come and have an
inspection once more.” Song Yan says. “Pay more attention, don’t play too
hard. If something major happens, you all would be done.”
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“After a while ——“
“As early as possible, d*mm*t, do you think that people’s life is nothing?”
Then Song Yan hangs up.
He gets inside the department store the revolving door, he looks at how
his face looks so paled. His phone rings again, it’s a call from LI Ting.
He is thinking how could this news get into Shi Li Tai so fast. He answers
the call, it turns out that it is about his transfer and promotion.
Two years ago, the military group considered to promote Song Yan to a
higher position. He refused it because he was thinking about the juniors in
his group, who were inexperienced. He wanted to train them first.
This year he takes the initiative to submit his application.
“The examination regarding his political record has gone through. He
needs to wait till next year to make known to the public and seek opinion.
Then he needs to wait for former post.” LI Meng says “ In the past you had
chance, but you were unwilling. How could you want it now?”
Song Yan just says: “I’ve reached my age.”
Li Meng asks: “For her?”
Song Yan turns twitchy for no reason at all, he frowns: “It’s unrelated to
her.”
Li Meng knows that he is angry, she is surprised and changes her words:
“Get ready, the political commissar is a good position, after few years you
might be able to enter Qi Ju.”
“Thanks.” Song Yan has no mood to chat, then he hangs up.
…………….
The team leader, Song Yan, has returned from the holiday, but everyone
feels that something is wrong with him.
His face is cold like an ice, his aura is cold……
During the training, the intensity is so high whether it is for physical
stamina, technical ability or foundation…… he gives all the trainings.
Everyone is complaining incessantly, yet they don’t dare to give him a
cold-shoulder. Who dares to provoke a lion.

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In the Di San Jun Yi Yuan (Third Military Hospital) emergency room, several
nurses also experience the same mood as the Shi LI Dai firefighters.
Though Doctor Xu doesn’t love to talk everyday, but today there’s
something than usual. She is colder and bland at the same time.
That day there’s a minor surgery. Xu Qin says: “Needle.”
Xiao Xi and Xiao Bei think that one of them would pass it so their
responses are late for two seconds. Xu Qin lifts up her hand and looks at
both of them coldly. Both of them are so surprised, they could feel the
coldness penetrates into their bone.
The nurses only have work relationship with Xu Qin, they couldn’t guess
what it is inside her.
Actually Xu Qin doesn’t think that she has something on her mind, but
that day she seems to be much colder.
In her usual days of not meeting Song Yan, there’s actually no much
difference. She is busy working for day and night. She even has no time to
think about anything else. At first her mind indeed felt so passionate to
find him, it might because she was free and on holiday.
Few days later, the news of the fire on the department store and Song Yan
helped a woman in the craft studio is spread out. It gets a lot of like
online. Xiao Bei and Xiao Nan are free so they discuss about it. Xu Qi
doesn’t watch the video in purpose, she also avoids to hear other’s
discussion about it.
She doesn’t want to let herself to miss him. She doesn’t think about it till
one day at night, after getting off the work, Xu Qin is boiling a water, she
carelessly spills over the water when she pours the water to the glass. She
takes a rag to wipe it. She looks at the rag and be lost in thought for quite
a long time.
Her mind is blank.
When she regains herself, she looks around the empty living room. Then
she recalls the image of Song Yan cleaning that room.
That day the sun was shinning warmly and brightly. She remembers his
every gesture.
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But today it’s a cold night.
It’s been a month since they separated at Si Xi Di and they haven’t met
each other again after that time.
She had gone to the accident scene yet she also didn’t met Song Yan.
There are several times, she picked up her phone unconsciously. The time
she regained herself, she just realized that she is staring at his contact
number. She did nothing beside watching it.
……………..
The last day of the month, Xu Qin is getting ready get off work. Then
someone knocks on the door.
“Is there any problem?” Xu Qin lifts up her head.
A female, who is around her age and with a great makeup, smiles very
bright. That female seems not to be patient.
That female leans forward: “You should be done with your work right, I
don’t disturb you right?”
Xu Qin: “Yes. You ——“
“You don’t remember me?” She comes inside and takes a seat. She puts
down her Hermes bag on the ground. “That time the craft studio was in
fire, you asked me whether I am hurt or not.”
Xu Qin has a deep impression for her.
She watches Song Yan helps her out of the fire scene.
Xu Qin looks at her and says: “I don’t really remember you.”
“I am Zhan Xiao Rao.”
Minister Zhan’s daughter.
“You are Xu Qin right? I and your Ge and Xiao Yi Xiao are close with each
other.” Zhan Xiao Rao smiles, she is so beautiful. “You know that
firefighter right? What is his name?”
“Song Yan.”
“Song. Yan. His name is sound great, it’s so much like him. Do you have
his phone number?”
Xu Qin: “Why?”

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“I’ve looked for him for so long. Luckily today there’s someone that knows
you. She said that you are a doctor in this hospital. So I follow the clues
and come here.” Zhan Xiao Rao says: “He saved my life. I’ve been looking
for him. I want to treat him a meal to express my thankfulness.”
Xu Qin looks at her and suddenly ponders whether she acts the same as
this woman when she asked Song Yan out for a meal.
She shouldn’t act look the same as this person as she could hide her
expression well. Her eyes wouldn’t be shinning like hers.

Chapter 26
Zhang Xiao Rao saves Song Yan’s number on her phone.
Xu Qin watches her dialing that number and placing her phone on the ear.
The office room is quite so she could listen to the conversation.
Song Yan answers the phone: “Hello?”
Zhan Xiao Rao couldn’t cover her excitement: “Finally I found you, Hi!”
Song Yan: “Who is this?”
Zhan Xiao Rao says: “Lat month you saved me, I am the female who was
trapped in the craft studio at Si Xi Di…… Do you remember?”
Then Song Yan says: “I don’t remember.”
Xu Qin pretends to look at the medical record.
“It’s okay if you don’t remember, we could meet so you could remember
me again.” Zhan Xiao Rao doesn’t get depressed. She says friendly: “I
want to treat you a meal as my token of gratitude.”
“No need.”
Then he hangs up so quickly.
It’s like what Xu Qin expects.
“Ay——“
Somehow Xu Qin’s mood is getting better.
When she is getting off the work, Xiao Nan passes by her. She looks at
how Xu Qin smiles. Xu Qin looks happy. Xiao Nan strokes her own head.
Few days later, Xiao Dong’s health test is out. She is HIV negative, she is
not infected.
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Xiao Dong runs over toward Xu Qin’s office room. She holds Xiao Bei and
Xiao Xi. She is crying while smiling at the same time.
“A good person would get a good retribution.” Xiao Dong says: “There’s
no one infected. From the firefighters side, there’s no one infected too.
They are so happy and hug me too.”
Xu Qin lifts her head up: “They come to the hospital?”
Xiao Dong: “Yes, they are in the infection department.”
Xu Qin sits still for a second and stands up: “I remember that I need to
look for Professor Xu.” She exits the ofice room and hears Xiao Dong
shouts: “That time I was so angry so I said those words. Who said that I
want to resign? I have been dreaming to be nurses since I was little.”
Xu Qin exits the emergency building and goes to the infection
department.
She goes to the HIV examination area, yet the area is empty.
Xu Qin asks one of the colleagues: “Where are the firefighters?”
“They are okay, they have left.” The colleague says: “Around a minute
ago.”
Xu Qin just leaves to chase after them.
She exits the elevator and notices a group of firefighters with their green
uniform. The firefighters are coming out of the hospital building. Song Yan
is walking at the very back.
Xu Qin passes everyone to run out of the building, she just watches Song
Yan gets on the car.
Xu Qin have to stop, she pants and looks ahead.
Song Yan closes the door and the car starts to moving. He unconsciously
looks back and watches Xu Qin is standing there watching.
In December, the weather is very cold.
Because she was inside, she wears a think cloth.
Their eyes meet each other through the window.
But very quickly the car drives away.
…………
Xu Qin doesn’t stay there for a long time, it’s too cold outside.
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The time she returns back to the office room, and suddenly recalls what
Zhan Xiao Rao said. She knows that from her personality, what would she
do. She knows that Zhan Xiao Rao wouldn’t give up so easily.
The next day at night, Xu Qin once again meet Zhan Xiao Rao at Xiao Yi
Xiao’s bar.
They both sit together, Xu Qin observes that Zhan Xiao Rao keeps on
playing with her phone for the whole night. She is smiling and frowning in
successive.
Xiao Yi Xiao asks: “You have chatted with him for the whole night, to
whom you are deeply attached?”
Zhan Xiao Rao lifts up her head and says depressingly: “I chat alone. I
have sent more than ten messages to ask him out for midnight snack, but
he doesn’t reply me. This man is too ruthless.” She says. “I’ve been
waiting for him to have day off. If I miss this one, I should wait again.”
Jiang Yu asks: “Who do you like that could make you be so snubbed
despite showing good intetions.”
Xiao Yi Xiao: “Which time she doesn’t pester to anyone?”
Zhan Xiao Rao: “I’m happy. If you like someone, you should chase after
him. If you don’t like him, then just break up. Don’t you men also do the
same thing, why women couldn’t do it?”
“Okay okay, okay, of course you can. No one says you couldn’t.”
Xu Qin just drinks her beer quietly.
Zhan Xiao Rao keeps on sending message nonstop. XU Qin doesn’t know
the content of her messages, whether she is chatting or flirting.
She couldn’t guess, she just keeps on drinking.
When it’s almost 11:00 p.m. Zhan Xiao Rao finally screams and stands up:
“He replies me!”
Then she takes out her powder and lipstick to freshen her face: “I’ll leave
first. I’ll go date.”
Xu Qin watches her lipsticks, it’s so red like a red rose.
Xiao Yi Xiao is curious: “What kind of man it is, why are you excited.”

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“He is a firefighter, he is my rescuer. He has a great body. I really want
him.” Zhan Xiao Rao packs up and says: “His name sounds great too.
Song Yan. I’ll leave first. Bye.”
Xiao Yi Xiao, Meng Yan Chen, Jiang Yu’s faces are changing. Xiao Yi Xiao
and Meng Yan Chen glance at Xu Qin.
Xu Qin is calm, she is drinking her beer and eats her fruits.
She finishes her fruits and takes tissue to wipe her hand. She stands up:
“I’ll go to wash my hands.”
On the corridor toward the restroom, there’s a couple who is hugging and
kissing frenziedly. Xu Qin enters the restroom and turns on the water
faucet. She washes her hand few times.
A female notices something is wrong, she asks her “Are you okay?” Xu Qin
just notices that her hands are hurt because she keeps on rubbing it. She
feels in pain.
She looks at her hands, she forget since when she started to be obsessed
with cleanliness. She forgets why she chose to be a doctor.
All of her memories seems to be useless now.
She washes her face and calms herself down. Then she returns back and
sits down with three of them for an hour.
She looks around the crowded place, she suddenly doesn’t know how
should she return to the empty house. How should she sleep. So she just
closes her eyes and and drinks beer.
She doesn’t have a good alcohol tolerance, yet she drinks three glasses of
whisky. She has turned dizzy and says that she is so sleepy and wants to
go home.
At first she wanted to call a taxi, but Meng Yan Chen and Xiao Yi Xiao
insist to send her home. They take her to her home and put her on the
bed. She is sleeping.
When they are on the lobby of her apartment, Xiao Yi Xiao asks: “Is she
drowning her sorrows in liquor?”
Meng Yan Chen turns quiet for a long time, yet he says: “She is building
up her courage.”
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………….
The winter night, the moon is bright and clear.
There’s no one around Zong Lu Hua Yuan.
Meng Yan Chen is sitting on the dark car and looks around the complex
back door. Xiao Yi Xiao is leaning on the driver seat. He is silent.
Indeed after a while, they see Xu Qin is out of the apartment building, she
is walking unsteadily. She exits the apartment complex and walks toward
the Wu Fang street.
Xiao Yi Xiao massages his forehead and looks at Meng Yan Chen. Meng
Yan Chen watches the tiny figure. He doesn’t move. Xiao Yi Xiao sighs, he
gets off the car and follows her.
A night in Wu Fang street is a bit dreadful, the street is dim and silent.
Xu Qin feels like she is floating. She goes t the Di family house. The front
door is closed.
She slaps on it with force. She slaps and slaps it and suddenly shouts:
“SONG YAN!”
She shouts loudly.
“SONG YAN!”
She keeps on slapping the door and shouts: “SONG YAN!”
Someone opens the door, it’s Di Miao. She has a down jacket on her
shoulder, she feels very cold. Looking at Xu Qin, she is so surprised:
“What are you doing here? Do you know what time is it?”
Xu Qin pushes her and wants to get inside to Song Yan’s room. Jiu Jiu and
Jiu Ma are out too. “This late night, what happened?”
Xu Qin just runs toward Song Yan’s room, she slaps the door and says
with a low voice: “Song Yan.” it’s so soft like she is afraid that the person
inside would be startled from his dream.
“Song Yan.” She slaps the door. “Song Yan, I am Xu Qin.”
Di Miao runs over and feels a bit agitated. She shouts: “Today my Ge isn’t
going home.”

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Xu Qin is startled and be blank for two seconds. Then she tries to open the
door yet she couldn’t open it. She goes to the window and sees the
curtain is not pulled. The bed and the blanket are so tidy.
He is out with another woman. He is not coming home.
Now it’s already 02:00 a.m.
Perhaps…….
Xu Qin stands in front of the window and suddenly lowers her head. She
covers her face with both of her hands.
She stays like that for a long time.
The other three people in the courtyard are looking at each other. Jiu Jiu
signals Di Miao, Di Miao rolls her eyes and comes over: “He is not here,
you should go home.”
Di Miao feels very cold and turns even annoyed. She wants to have a fit of
anger yet she hears Xu Qin says something in low voice like she is talking
to herself.
“I feel that I am dying.” She says: “there’s no bit of interest to live.”
Di Miao is shocked: “Don’t, what happened? Could you tell me, what is
happening?”
Xu Qin puts away her hands and looks up. She looks very calm. She
doesn’t answer, she turns her body and leaves. Because of she is drunk,
her steps aren’t stable.
Di Miao doesn’t dare to let her go: “If not, you could sit here for a while
——“
Xu Qin just ignores her and wants to leave. Then suddenly she notices a
pair of male sneakers near the staircase. It’s too big and clean.
She watches it for a while.
Di Miao: “Ahyoo. I haven’t put away his shoes.” Then she bends her body
to take it.
Xu Qin just kicks it, one of the shoe gets inside the courtyard again.
XU Qin pants, his eyes are full of hatred. She chases after that shoe and
wants to kick it again. She keeps on chasing and kicking it.

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Xiao Yi Xiao rushes over and hols Xu Qin. He apologizes to Jiu Jiu and his
family: “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. She is drunk, she has drunken fit. I’m sorry,
I’m sorry.”
Three of them are half doubting him.
Xiao Yi Xiao holds Xu Qin’s waist and drags her. Xu Qin doesn’t make fuss
anymore, she just struggles. Her eyes are fixed on that sneaker. She
wants to kick it again. Xiao Yi Xiao covers her eyes and drags her out.
Song Yan arrives in front of Di family house, he notices that one of his
sneaker is gone. He looks around and watches that person.
Jiu Ma pokes Jiu Jiu and pulls him to the room.
Xu Qin is free from Xiao Yi Xiao, she is looking provocatively at Song Yan.
Song Yan says nothing and passes by her.
Xu Qin: “Stop.”
Song Yan stops.
Xu Qin asks: “Where did you go tonight?”
Song Yan pursues his lips, he has his own rage. Tonight he came out to
warn Zhan Xiao Rao to not disturb him anymore. He was surprised to
know that Xu Qin was the one that shares his phone number. What did
she think he is?
Okay, now he is home and see that she is putting a show of bad temper.
Why should she come over and make fuss this late night?
Song Yan looks at her: “I went out with a woman, you should know her,
what is her name. Em —-“ He lowers his head and thinks: “Zhan Xiao
Rao?”
Xu Qin is provoked by his tone and words, her eyes full of bitterness, she
suddenly runs toward him and pushes him.
Song Yan’s body retreats for two to three steps. He is watching her face.
His face changes abruptly, he is sneering and despising her. “Xu Qin, you
should know yourself. What is your qualification to fight with me here?”
Xu Qin glares at him. She couldn’t say anything, she clearly has a lot of
words but she couldn’t say it.

176
She also wants to have eyes right Zhan Xiao Rao, then everyone could see
whether she is happy or sad. But she has completely different eyes.
Her eyes always show that she is quiet, constrained. She feels that she is
getting mad.
Xiao Yi Xiao’s face turns ashen, he allows any explanation and just drags
Xu Qin: “Let’s go —- what should you say to this kind of man? You should
see whether he deserves you or not.”
Song Yan looks at him coldly and looks at Xu Qin.
Xu Qin doesn’t want to go, she pushes Xiao Yi Xiao away. She lifts her chin
and looks at Song Yan on the eyes. She says:
“Right, he doesn’t deserve me. He doesn’t deserve me.”
Song Yan just stares at her without making any sound. At last, he just
laughs like everything is indifferent. He turns his body and wants to go
back to his bedroom.
Xu Qin feels that her heart is shattered into pieces.
“Because ——“ She stands there and looks at his figure. “I like him more
than he likes me.”
Song Yan stops. For a while, he couldn’t believe what he hears.
“I find socializing difficult, I don’t like to make friends. Banking, law,
management, there are lots of professions but those profession don’t suit
me. It’s just being a doctor suits me, I just need to study my specialization
well. Moreover I would not be unemployed, I could support my own life.”
Xu Qin’s tears fill her eyes. Her heart is so pain that she couldn’t breath
properly. Her body is shaking.
“I come back to this country, I change my name. I move out of the house.
I am planning my life. A bit by a bit. I don’t need those things my family
could provide. I am thinking, how, how could I not make Papa Mama be
angry, to not oppose, to not disown me as their daughter. I am
questioning how could I be promoted into a higher position, whether I
work hard enough. How could I be a great well-known surgeon. So they
could be proud of me, then they would tolerate me a bit.”
She suddenly stops.
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Song Yan turns his body and looks at her face.
“But you? What are you doing? What have you done? —— Song Yan, let
me ask you, what have you ever done for liking me?! —— Yes, I don’t stop
wanting to approach you, I also don’t stop doubting and hesitating. I keep
on come and go, I am greedy and bickering, I am hesitant and weak. I
couldn’t see hope, I am afraid. That’s because —-“ She opens her mouth,
her tears keeps on falling down. She forces herself to stop, she bites her
lips. She tears open her most hurtful wound: “You have never done
anything for us being together, even you never exert any little effort. You
never.”
Song Yan’s throat turns aching, his face is twisted.”
“Xu Qin, I ——“ He is in pain too. What could he say, the matter has
reached this point, what else could he say.
A failure is an excuse, difficult situation is a fact.
Everything he has done, if he says it out loud, it’ll be only a joke.
How could he ask for her understanding when he was so miserable and
helpless?
Perhaps should he tell her that the one that makes what him today is her
most beloved and dependable closely related family?
He thinks that he is not in that corrupted stage yet.
He chooses to be silent.
She waits and be so disappointed: “I’m right, right? — Tell me, am I
right?”
Song Yan watches her and be speechless.
Her tears couldn’t be controlled: “You don’t like me right? You don’t like
me right? — You simply don’t like me right, if not how could you not even
work hard. You even never think of getting close to me!”
She sobs and weeps in grief.
“You could only stand still and wait me to come and find you. Perhaps
even if I fall down, you wouldn’t help me up.”
“A person like you, why should I? Why should I go to you! Yes, I am selfish
woman, toward the person I love, I’m selfish. I want to see what would you
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sacrifice for me, then I would go to you. If not, what should I do? If I lose
everything and you just stand still, what should I do? That’s right I’m not
pure. I’m bickering, Yes, I want you to make sacrifice for me. I want you to
walk toward me. But why don’t you come to me?”
Song Yan’s eyes are wet too. At first he wanted to approach her and hold
her. But she is the one that holds his arm first. She kicks and hits him.
“Why aren’t you willing to come over? —- Your love, I really couldn’t see
it. Let me tell you, I would not walk toward you anymore, I wouldn’t!”
XIao Yi Xiao couldn’t watch it any longer. He holds her and says: “Let’s
go!”
Xu Qin couldn’t break free from him, she just sobs and wails: “Song Yan,
why aren’t you coming over! I’m here, why aren’t you coming over! Is it
true that you don’t like me that much? If you don’t like me that much, why
did you say those words? Why did you say that you like me that I could
cause your death? I take that seriously! I take that seriously ah! ——“
Xiao Yi Xiao drags her out.
The courtyard turns silent.
Di Miao is standing there blankly, her face is full of tears too: “It’s not
true.” She runs toward the front door.
“DI MIAO!”
Di Miao feels her blood run cold, she stops.
That yell sounds painful.
Di Miao looks back, she looks at that figure. It’s not Song Yan, it’s not her
Ge Ge’s Song Yan. He looks like a stranger.
Song Yan’s spirit seems to leave together with Xu Qin.
Di Miao never sees that side of Song Yan. His head is hanging low. His
shoulder is dropping.
He seems to be unable to accept it. The pain makes him kneel down and
hugs his head tightly. He doesn’t make sound anymore.

Chapter 27
Zhang Xiao Rao saves Song Yan’s number on her phone.
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Xu Qin watches her dialing that number and placing her phone on the ear.
The office room is quite so she could listen to the conversation.
Song Yan answers the phone: “Hello?”
Zhan Xiao Rao couldn’t cover her excitement: “Finally I found you, Hi!”
Song Yan: “Who is this?”
Zhan Xiao Rao says: “Lat month you saved me, I am the female who was
trapped in the craft studio at Si Xi Di…… Do you remember?”
Then Song Yan says: “I don’t remember.”
Xu Qin pretends to look at the medical record.
“It’s okay if you don’t remember, we could meet so you could remember
me again.” Zhan Xiao Rao doesn’t get depressed. She says friendly: “I
want to treat you a meal as my token of gratitude.”
“No need.”
Then he hangs up so quickly.
It’s like what Xu Qin expects.
“Ay——“
Somehow Xu Qin’s mood is getting better.
When she is getting off the work, Xiao Nan passes by her. She looks at
how Xu Qin smiles. Xu Qin looks happy. Xiao Nan strokes her own head.
Few days later, Xiao Dong’s health test is out. She is HIV negative, she is
not infected.
Xiao Dong runs over toward Xu Qin’s office room. She holds Xiao Bei and
Xiao Xi. She is crying while smiling at the same time.
“A good person would get a good retribution.” Xiao Dong says: “There’s
no one infected. From the firefighters side, there’s no one infected too.
They are so happy and hug me too.”
Xu Qin lifts her head up: “They come to the hospital?”
Xiao Dong: “Yes, they are in the infection department.”
Xu Qin sits still for a second and stands up: “I remember that I need to
look for Professor Xu.” She exits the ofice room and hears Xiao Dong
shouts: “That time I was so angry so I said those words. Who said that I
want to resign? I have been dreaming to be nurses since I was little.”
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Xu Qin exits the emergency building and goes to the infection
department.
She goes to the HIV examination area, yet the area is empty.
Xu Qin asks one of the colleagues: “Where are the firefighters?”
“They are okay, they have left.” The colleague says: “Around a minute
ago.”
Xu Qin just leaves to chase after them.
She exits the elevator and notices a group of firefighters with their green
uniform. The firefighters are coming out of the hospital building. Song Yan
is walking at the very back.
Xu Qin passes everyone to run out of the building, she just watches Song
Yan gets on the car.
Xu Qin have to stop, she pants and looks ahead.
Song Yan closes the door and the car starts to moving. He unconsciously
looks back and watches Xu Qin is standing there watching.
In December, the weather is very cold.
Because she was inside, she wears a think cloth.
Their eyes meet each other through the window.
But very quickly the car drives away.
…………
Xu Qin doesn’t stay there for a long time, it’s too cold outside.
The time she returns back to the office room, and suddenly recalls what
Zhan Xiao Rao said. She knows that from her personality, what would she
do. She knows that Zhan Xiao Rao wouldn’t give up so easily.
The next day at night, Xu Qin once again meet Zhan Xiao Rao at Xiao Yi
Xiao’s bar.
They both sit together, Xu Qin observes that Zhan Xiao Rao keeps on
playing with her phone for the whole night. She is smiling and frowning in
successive.
Xiao Yi Xiao asks: “You have chatted with him for the whole night, to
whom you are deeply attached?”

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Zhan Xiao Rao lifts up her head and says depressingly: “I chat alone. I
have sent more than ten messages to ask him out for midnight snack, but
he doesn’t reply me. This man is too ruthless.” She says. “I’ve been
waiting for him to have day off. If I miss this one, I should wait again.”
Jiang Yu asks: “Who do you like that could make you be so snubbed
despite showing good intetions.”
Xiao Yi Xiao: “Which time she doesn’t pester to anyone?”
Zhan Xiao Rao: “I’m happy. If you like someone, you should chase after
him. If you don’t like him, then just break up. Don’t you men also do the
same thing, why women couldn’t do it?”
“Okay okay, okay, of course you can. No one says you couldn’t.”
Xu Qin just drinks her beer quietly.
Zhan Xiao Rao keeps on sending message nonstop. XU Qin doesn’t know
the content of her messages, whether she is chatting or flirting.
She couldn’t guess, she just keeps on drinking.
When it’s almost 11:00 p.m. Zhan Xiao Rao finally screams and stands up:
“He replies me!”
Then she takes out her powder and lipstick to freshen her face: “I’ll leave
first. I’ll go date.”
Xu Qin watches her lipsticks, it’s so red like a red rose.
Xiao Yi Xiao is curious: “What kind of man it is, why are you excited.”
“He is a firefighter, he is my rescuer. He has a great body. I really want
him.” Zhan Xiao Rao packs up and says: “His name sounds great too.
Song Yan. I’ll leave first. Bye.”
Xiao Yi Xiao, Meng Yan Chen, Jiang Yu’s faces are changing. Xiao Yi Xiao
and Meng Yan Chen glance at Xu Qin.
Xu Qin is calm, she is drinking her beer and eats her fruits.
She finishes her fruits and takes tissue to wipe her hand. She stands up:
“I’ll go to wash my hands.”
On the corridor toward the restroom, there’s a couple who is hugging and
kissing frenziedly. Xu Qin enters the restroom and turns on the water
faucet. She washes her hand few times.
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A female notices something is wrong, she asks her “Are you okay?” Xu Qin
just notices that her hands are hurt because she keeps on rubbing it. She
feels in pain.
She looks at her hands, she forget since when she started to be obsessed
with cleanliness. She forgets why she chose to be a doctor.
All of her memories seems to be useless now.
She washes her face and calms herself down. Then she returns back and
sits down with three of them for an hour.
She looks around the crowded place, she suddenly doesn’t know how
should she return to the empty house. How should she sleep. So she just
closes her eyes and and drinks beer.
She doesn’t have a good alcohol tolerance, yet she drinks three glasses of
whisky. She has turned dizzy and says that she is so sleepy and wants to
go home.
At first she wanted to call a taxi, but Meng Yan Chen and Xiao Yi Xiao
insist to send her home. They take her to her home and put her on the
bed. She is sleeping.
When they are on the lobby of her apartment, Xiao Yi Xiao asks: “Is she
drowning her sorrows in liquor?”
Meng Yan Chen turns quiet for a long time, yet he says: “She is building
up her courage.”
………….
The winter night, the moon is bright and clear.
There’s no one around Zong Lu Hua Yuan.
Meng Yan Chen is sitting on the dark car and looks around the complex
back door. Xiao Yi Xiao is leaning on the driver seat. He is silent.
Indeed after a while, they see Xu Qin is out of the apartment building, she
is walking unsteadily. She exits the apartment complex and walks toward
the Wu Fang street.
Xiao Yi Xiao massages his forehead and looks at Meng Yan Chen. Meng
Yan Chen watches the tiny figure. He doesn’t move. Xiao Yi Xiao sighs, he
gets off the car and follows her.
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A night in Wu Fang street is a bit dreadful, the street is dim and silent.
Xu Qin feels like she is floating. She goes t the Di family house. The front
door is closed.
She slaps on it with force. She slaps and slaps it and suddenly shouts:
“SONG YAN!”
She shouts loudly.
“SONG YAN!”
She keeps on slapping the door and shouts: “SONG YAN!”
Someone opens the door, it’s Di Miao. She has a down jacket on her
shoulder, she feels very cold. Looking at Xu Qin, she is so surprised:
“What are you doing here? Do you know what time is it?”
Xu Qin pushes her and wants to get inside to Song Yan’s room. Jiu Jiu and
Jiu Ma are out too. “This late night, what happened?”
Xu Qin just runs toward Song Yan’s room, she slaps the door and says
with a low voice: “Song Yan.” it’s so soft like she is afraid that the person
inside would be startled from his dream.
“Song Yan.” She slaps the door. “Song Yan, I am Xu Qin.”
Di Miao runs over and feels a bit agitated. She shouts: “Today my Ge isn’t
going home.”
Xu Qin is startled and be blank for two seconds. Then she tries to open the
door yet she couldn’t open it. She goes to the window and sees the
curtain is not pulled. The bed and the blanket are so tidy.
He is out with another woman. He is not coming home.
Now it’s already 02:00 a.m.
Perhaps…….
Xu Qin stands in front of the window and suddenly lowers her head. She
covers her face with both of her hands.
She stays like that for a long time.
The other three people in the courtyard are looking at each other. Jiu Jiu
signals Di Miao, Di Miao rolls her eyes and comes over: “He is not here,
you should go home.”

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Di Miao feels very cold and turns even annoyed. She wants to have a fit of
anger yet she hears Xu Qin says something in low voice like she is talking
to herself.
“I feel that I am dying.” She says: “there’s no bit of interest to live.”
Di Miao is shocked: “Don’t, what happened? Could you tell me, what is
happening?”
Xu Qin puts away her hands and looks up. She looks very calm. She
doesn’t answer, she turns her body and leaves. Because of she is drunk,
her steps aren’t stable.
Di Miao doesn’t dare to let her go: “If not, you could sit here for a while
——“
Xu Qin just ignores her and wants to leave. Then suddenly she notices a
pair of male sneakers near the staircase. It’s too big and clean.
She watches it for a while.
Di Miao: “Ahyoo. I haven’t put away his shoes.” Then she bends her body
to take it.
Xu Qin just kicks it, one of the shoe gets inside the courtyard again.
XU Qin pants, his eyes are full of hatred. She chases after that shoe and
wants to kick it again. She keeps on chasing and kicking it.
Xiao Yi Xiao rushes over and hols Xu Qin. He apologizes to Jiu Jiu and his
family: “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. She is drunk, she has drunken fit. I’m sorry,
I’m sorry.”
Three of them are half doubting him.
Xiao Yi Xiao holds Xu Qin’s waist and drags her. Xu Qin doesn’t make fuss
anymore, she just struggles. Her eyes are fixed on that sneaker. She
wants to kick it again. Xiao Yi Xiao covers her eyes and drags her out.
Song Yan arrives in front of Di family house, he notices that one of his
sneaker is gone. He looks around and watches that person.
Jiu Ma pokes Jiu Jiu and pulls him to the room.
Xu Qin is free from Xiao Yi Xiao, she is looking provocatively at Song Yan.
Song Yan says nothing and passes by her.
Xu Qin: “Stop.”
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Song Yan stops.
Xu Qin asks: “Where did you go tonight?”
Song Yan pursues his lips, he has his own rage. Tonight he came out to
warn Zhan Xiao Rao to not disturb him anymore. He was surprised to
know that Xu Qin was the one that shares his phone number. What did
she think he is?
Okay, now he is home and see that she is putting a show of bad temper.
Why should she come over and make fuss this late night?
Song Yan looks at her: “I went out with a woman, you should know her,
what is her name. Em —-“ He lowers his head and thinks: “Zhan Xiao
Rao?”
Xu Qin is provoked by his tone and words, her eyes full of bitterness, she
suddenly runs toward him and pushes him.
Song Yan’s body retreats for two to three steps. He is watching her face.
His face changes abruptly, he is sneering and despising her. “Xu Qin, you
should know yourself. What is your qualification to fight with me here?”
Xu Qin glares at him. She couldn’t say anything, she clearly has a lot of
words but she couldn’t say it.
She also wants to have eyes right Zhan Xiao Rao, then everyone could see
whether she is happy or sad. But she has completely different eyes.
Her eyes always show that she is quiet, constrained. She feels that she is
getting mad.
Xiao Yi Xiao’s face turns ashen, he allows any explanation and just drags
Xu Qin: “Let’s go —- what should you say to this kind of man? You should
see whether he deserves you or not.”
Song Yan looks at him coldly and looks at Xu Qin.
Xu Qin doesn’t want to go, she pushes Xiao Yi Xiao away. She lifts her chin
and looks at Song Yan on the eyes. She says:
“Right, he doesn’t deserve me. He doesn’t deserve me.”
Song Yan just stares at her without making any sound. At last, he just
laughs like everything is indifferent. He turns his body and wants to go
back to his bedroom.
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Xu Qin feels that her heart is shattered into pieces.
“Because ——“ She stands there and looks at his figure. “I like him more
than he likes me.”
Song Yan stops. For a while, he couldn’t believe what he hears.
“I find socializing difficult, I don’t like to make friends. Banking, law,
management, there are lots of professions but those profession don’t suit
me. It’s just being a doctor suits me, I just need to study my specialization
well. Moreover I would not be unemployed, I could support my own life.”
Xu Qin’s tears fill her eyes. Her heart is so pain that she couldn’t breath
properly. Her body is shaking.
“I come back to this country, I change my name. I move out of the house.
I am planning my life. A bit by a bit. I don’t need those things my family
could provide. I am thinking, how, how could I not make Papa Mama be
angry, to not oppose, to not disown me as their daughter. I am
questioning how could I be promoted into a higher position, whether I
work hard enough. How could I be a great well-known surgeon. So they
could be proud of me, then they would tolerate me a bit.”
She suddenly stops.
Song Yan turns his body and looks at her face.
“But you? What are you doing? What have you done? —— Song Yan, let
me ask you, what have you ever done for liking me?! —— Yes, I don’t stop
wanting to approach you, I also don’t stop doubting and hesitating. I keep
on come and go, I am greedy and bickering, I am hesitant and weak. I
couldn’t see hope, I am afraid. That’s because —-“ She opens her mouth,
her tears keeps on falling down. She forces herself to stop, she bites her
lips. She tears open her most hurtful wound: “You have never done
anything for us being together, even you never exert any little effort. You
never.”
Song Yan’s throat turns aching, his face is twisted.”
“Xu Qin, I ——“ He is in pain too. What could he say, the matter has
reached this point, what else could he say.
A failure is an excuse, difficult situation is a fact.
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Everything he has done, if he says it out loud, it’ll be only a joke.
How could he ask for her understanding when he was so miserable and
helpless?
Perhaps should he tell her that the one that makes what him today is her
most beloved and dependable closely related family?
He thinks that he is not in that corrupted stage yet.
He chooses to be silent.
She waits and be so disappointed: “I’m right, right? — Tell me, am I
right?”
Song Yan watches her and be speechless.
Her tears couldn’t be controlled: “You don’t like me right? You don’t like
me right? — You simply don’t like me right, if not how could you not even
work hard. You even never think of getting close to me!”
She sobs and weeps in grief.
“You could only stand still and wait me to come and find you. Perhaps
even if I fall down, you wouldn’t help me up.”
“A person like you, why should I? Why should I go to you! Yes, I am selfish
woman, toward the person I love, I’m selfish. I want to see what would you
sacrifice for me, then I would go to you. If not, what should I do? If I lose
everything and you just stand still, what should I do? That’s right I’m not
pure. I’m bickering, Yes, I want you to make sacrifice for me. I want you to
walk toward me. But why don’t you come to me?”
Song Yan’s eyes are wet too. At first he wanted to approach her and hold
her. But she is the one that holds his arm first. She kicks and hits him.
“Why aren’t you willing to come over? —- Your love, I really couldn’t see
it. Let me tell you, I would not walk toward you anymore, I wouldn’t!”
XIao Yi Xiao couldn’t watch it any longer. He holds her and says: “Let’s
go!”
Xu Qin couldn’t break free from him, she just sobs and wails: “Song Yan,
why aren’t you coming over! I’m here, why aren’t you coming over! Is it
true that you don’t like me that much? If you don’t like me that much, why

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did you say those words? Why did you say that you like me that I could
cause your death? I take that seriously! I take that seriously ah! ——“
Xiao Yi Xiao drags her out.
The courtyard turns silent.
Di Miao is standing there blankly, her face is full of tears too: “It’s not
true.” She runs toward the front door.
“DI MIAO!”
Di Miao feels her blood run cold, she stops.
That yell sounds painful.
Di Miao looks back, she looks at that figure. It’s not Song Yan, it’s not her
Ge Ge’s Song Yan. He looks like a stranger.
Song Yan’s spirit seems to leave together with Xu Qin.
Di Miao never sees that side of Song Yan. His head is hanging low. His
shoulder is dropping.
He seems to be unable to accept it. The pain makes him kneel down and
hugs his head tightly. He doesn’t make sound anymore.

Chapter 28
Today there’s a red warning for haze, the courtyard looks hazy today.
Di Miao is kneeling down on the east wing’s stairways near the entrance.
She is tying her shoelaces slowly. When the bedroom on the west wing is
open. Di Miao immediately stands up: “Ge!”
Song Yan ignores her and goes to the bathroom. He brushes his teeth.
Di Miao is standing outside the bathroom and asks with a low voice:
“Would you go to find her?”
Song Yan still doesn’t say anything, he gargles. Then he washes his face,
wipes it and shaves his mustache.
Di Miao notices that he is unwilling to talk to her. She sighs and holds her
backpack. She wants to just leave. But because she feels unwell, she
returns back to his side: “Ge, I want to remind you something. She was
drunk.”

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Di Miao says: “She was preoccupied to unburden herself, she had not
rationality on her. What’s between you guys not done yet. If you go to her,
what if it keeps on be a mess?”
“I know.” Song Yan speaks up and straightens his lips.
Di Miao is startled.
Song Yan doesn’t say anything much, he just lifts his chin to shave his
mustache.
Last time when they parted at Si Xi Di, it’s been half month since they met
each other. It is enough to say that she doesn’t plan to look for him again.
This time if it’s not Zhan Xiao Rao disrupted and provoked her, her time
and rational will whittle away everything.
In the course of time if the destiny happens due to an unexpected turn of
events.Though they are in the same city, they wouldn’t meet each other
again. They had been separated for ten years.
Anyway this woman is good at being calm and noiseless.
Di Miao grieves and feels bitter about it: “Then why do you—— still want
to find her? Ge, you are twenty eight years old. You are not eighteen
years old. If you keep on playing crazy, you would collapse!”
Song Yan lowers his eyes and puts down his razor. He washes his hands
and turns silent. He asks: “Di Miao, after what happened last night, if I
don’t find her, what would happen?”
Di Miao is a woman, of course she knows everything clearly: “Then even I
am dead, I wouldn’t look for you again.”
“So I would look for her.” Song Yan looks at the mirror again and
continues to shave.
Di Miao is startled, she is unable to respond.
Yes, he has no other choice.
Go find her, it might not have a good result; but if he doesn’t go find her,
the result would be decisive.
Though the situation has reached the step which everything couldn’t turn
around. All along he still be unwilling to let go.
Di Miao says with a soft voice: “Ge, you really like her that much?
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Song Yan says nothing.
Di Miao: “Didn’t you sayt that it’s better for not meet, then don’t meet
again.”
Song Yan says: “but she came to find me, I should go over and pick her
up.”
Di Miao doesn’t understand, she looks at the door: “Did she come?”
Song Yan tidies up himself and exits the bathroom to return to his
bedroom. “Go to the class. NO need to mind my business.”
“Ay ——“ Di Miao still wants to say something. Song Yan has closed the
door.
……….
Xu Qin wakes up and notices that she is at Meng family house. She turns
flabbergasted. She knows that she was drunk last night, yet she doesn’t
understand why Meng Yan Chen and Xiao Yi Xiao sent her back.
Now it’s 09:00 a.m., everyone has gone to work.
It’s great, she also could be alone and calm down herself.
She flips her body and closes her eyes. She buries her head between her
knees. She remembers only last night in detail though it’s a bit indistinct.
She remembers that she went to Song Yan’s house and had a drunken fit
there.
Her face turns hot and red. She feels embarrassed and annoyed.
She shouldn’t drink a lot of alcohol. She shouldn’t be delirious and go and
find him.
She has iced over another layer of ice on their relationship. She seems to
have made a deadlock.
Her phone suddenly ring, it’s a call from Song Yan.
Xu QIn doesn’t know whether she should be happy or worried. She
hesitates for few seconds and then answers it: “Hello?”
Song Yan’s voice is not too loud: “It’ me.”
Xu Qin lowers her voice: “I know ah.”
Song Yan: “Are you awake?”
Xu Qin: “Em.”
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It’s a short silence.
Song Yan asks again: “Where are you ?”
Xu Qin: “At home.”
Song Yan says: “I’ll come over and pick you up.”
Xu Qin: “I’m at home in the west side.”
Song Yan doesn’t say anything and just be silent.
Xu Qin: “Then you wait for me for a while. I’ll go back soon.”
Song Yan: “Okay………. bye.”
Xu Qin: “Em.”
She puts down her phone and buries her face on the pillow. She had
exposed herself —- not only to Song Yan but his family members.
She couldn’t retreat.
She has a lot of different complicated feelings, she has headache.
She goes freshen up and goes downstair to get ready to leave. The time
she looks back, she notices the end of corridor, Fu Wen Ying’s study
room’s door is open.
Xu QIn thinks that she is at home so she wants to go over and greet her.
But the time she goes over, there’s no one over. There’re only maids
cleaning around and forgetting about closing the door. She didn’t expect
that everything is still the same.
Last time she was inside Fu Wen Ying’s study room, she was just a
teenager.
She looks at the red wood desk and the carpet. Her breath turns deep.
She suddenly recalled the young Meng Qin standing there. She was
frightened and her legs were shaking in fear.
Fu Wen Ying was sitting there with her cold voice.
She came over that time and held Fu Wen Ying’s arm. She said: “Mama
—-“
Fu Wen Ying shook her hand away: “I’m not your Mama. I have no
disobedient kid like you.”
She said nothing and just shook in fear.

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“Haven’t I tell you to not date any man? you don’t love yourself. You want
to be with him, then you don’t need to study. You don’t need to come
home again. In the future, don’t call me Mama again!”
She was startled for so long and held Fu Wen Ying’s arm again: “Mama
——“
Fu Wen Ying shook her hand once again. Her face turns cold. She says:
“Qin Qin, later if you listen Mama’s words, Mama would send you abroad
and give you the best life; but if you keep on being stubborn and do what
do you want and don’t care about the family, Mama now would send you
back to Liang city. You wouldn’t be able to come back to Di city. In the
future you would have no Papa, Mama, Ge Ge. You will have no family.
Even you go to Papa and Ge Ge and cry in front of them, it’ll be useless. I
would do what I say.”
She was startle again, her hand fell down from her Mama’s hem of shirt.
Fu Wen Ying stood up, she planned to walk away. Finally Xu Qin spoke up:
“Mama, I would listen to you.”
Xu Qin remembers that year, that young girl was standing there. She
couldn’t defend herself, she didn’t cry. She just be silent and accepted
everything.
She was standing there alone and helplessly just like when she was
young, her parents were fighting with each other in the bedroom. She
could only watch them fighting. It’s her nightmare.
Xu Qin closes the door of Fu Wen Yin’s study room. She stands there for a
while and wears her mask. She leaves.
……………..
The time she arrives in front of Zong Lu Hua Yuan area, Song Yan is there.
He is standing under an evergreen tree and smoking. He is wearing a grey
slim-fit coat. He looks so skinny.
Looking at Xu Qin, he just throws his cigarette away.
Xu Qin’s mask covers her face, it just shows her eyes. She asks: “Why
don’t you wear your mask?”
Today the haze is really serious.
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Song Yan says: “I forget.”
Xu Qin takes out a mask from her pocket and passes it to him: “I bring
once more.”
Song Yan takes it and wears it. He asks her: “Have you eaten your
breakfast?”
Xu Qin shakes her head.
Song Yan’s gaze stops on her eyebrow, he asks: “What do you want to
eat?”
Xu Qin says: “I want to eat porridge.”
Song Yan: “What kind?”
Xu Qin: “White porridge……. just a plain one.”
The porridge store nearby doesn’t sell any plain porridge.
Xu Qin: “I have water and rice grain at home.”
Two of them have mutual understanding so they go to the area. They
don’t have any words toward each other. They enter the elevator.
When they arrive at the apartment, Song Yan opens up the cupboard and
looks at the brand new pack of rice grain. He asks: “You never cook at
home, how could you buy a pack of rice grain?”
“This is sent by the hospital.” Xu Qin says.
Song Yan asks: “When did it send?”
Xu Qin: “I forget.”
Song Yan lowers his head and looks at the imprint. “Has this expired?”
Xu Qin: “the rice grain could get expired?”
Song Yan looks at the production date: “No.”
Song Yan just takes the pack of rice grain, he asks: “Do you have any
scissors?”
He looks at her expression: “….. Em, or vegetable knife.”
Xu Qin finds a vegetable knife and passes it ot him.
Song Yan opens up the pack, Xu Qin just passes him the pot. Song Yan
scoops a glass of rice grain. He fills the pot with the water. Xu Qin is
puzzled: “Is it enough?”
Song Yan glances at her.
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Xu Qin: “It seems to be so little.”
Song Yan says: “When it’s cooked, it would be a lot of.”
Xu Qin: “Oh.”
Song Yan places the pot on the stove, he starts to turn on the stove, but
there’s no fire coming out.
Song Yan lowers his head and tries once more. He asks: “When the last
time you used this stove?”
“…..” Xu Qin straightens her lips and says: “I never use it.”
Song Yan: “……”
Supposedly Xu Qin wants to make up, she turns her body and finds her
phone. “It’s possible it is broken, I would call the property management.”
“Wait.” Song Yan stops, he kneels down and opens up the cupboard to
look around. He glances at it and says: “The valve is not open.”
He turns the valve and stands up again to turn on the stove again. It is on.
“…..” Xu Qin asks: “Awesome.”
Song Yan: “……..”
Song Yan covers the pot with lid and then goes to lean on the kitchen
counter. He waits for the water to boil. He is looking at the pot and doesn’t
look at her. He asks: “You never eat at home?”
Xu Qin: “Em.”
Song Yan: “Then what do you usually eat? Takeaway?”
Xu Qin : “Takeaway, there’s also a dining hall at the hospital.” She is
watching the pot too, she doesn’t look at him and asks: “What about
you?”
Song Yan: “There’s a dining hall at the dining hall too…… If I am at home,
Jiu Ma would cook.”
Xu Qin says: “Jiu Ma’s food is great.”
Song Yan: “Em.”
Both of them are silent for two seconds. The water finally boils and the
rice grain starts to move.
Xu Qin continues to talk about the same topic: “Are the food in your dining
hall is great?”
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“Quite great.” Song Yan says: “What about yours?”
Xu Qin: “Just average, it’s not delicious.”
“Em. The boys, who are on cooking duty, are great at cooking. It should
be better than the hospital.” Song Yan looks at at Xu Qin. Xu Qin watches
him too.
Song Yan shifts his gaze and stands up to take off the cover of the lid. Xu
Qin comes closer to watch.
Song Yan asks: “Are you hungry?”
Xu Qin: “Em.”
Song Yan: “Let’s wait for a while.”
Xu Qin: “Okay.”
Both of them continue to wait for the rice turns into a porridge. Perhaps
it’s better for them to wait like this forever.
At last he speaks up: “Xu Qin.”
Xu Qin: “Em?”
Song Yan: “Do you remember what did you say yesterday?”
Xu Qin looks down and be silent; “I have things that I remember and
things that I don’t remember.
“Em.” Song Yan asks, “You said that you’ll not come over again, do you
still remember that?”
Xu Qin nods, then she says: “I remember.”
Song Yan: “Now you are not drunk right?”
Xu Qin: “No.”
Song Yan: “Do you still think the same way?”
Xu Qin lowers her head and covers her face with her hands: “I don’t
know.”
It’s a short silence.
“If I come over, could you wait for me?” Song Yan asks without waiting for
her answer. He smiles briefly: “Indefinite wait, I even feel sorry for you.”
The future is unforeseen. She is afraid, he would be pressured.
Xu Qin lets go of her hands and looks at the ceiling. “Song Yan, now I
really don’t know what should I do. I don’t know how should I beg you,
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how to beg myself. I don’t know how could I face you, how should I face
my family. I ——“
“I know that you are afraid, you are reluctant to let go.” Song Yan says, he
mocks himself: “I just want to tell you. As long as you could be persistent,
then I would help you bear everything. As long as you dare, I could bear
everything.
But I know that everything that I said, it’s useless.”
Xu Qin’s eyes turn red. She blinks. Yes ah, even if he accompanies her to
face her family, she would also feel afraid, she would be unwilling to let
go. It would be to much pressure. He knows it clearly.
Xu Qin says: “I have no much courage.”
Yet Song Yan shakes his head and smiles lightly: “Honestly, letting you
enter this kind of condition, I also feel so guilty.”
Xu Qin says: “I know. I know you are good….”
She couldn’t continue.
Song Yan is silent too. Then he inhales a deep breath and says calmly: “I
could promise you to treat you well. Every day treating you well. I
wouldn’t betray you, I wouldn’t be cold toward you. I would try my best to
make your life better. But I promise whether I could fulfill your family’s
request.”
Xu Qin has no words to say. She hesitates and be worried. She is insecure,
she just gives space for him to speak.
“I know that you are in difficult situation. I also know that be with me, you
would feel wronged. I could understand it. But ——“ Song yan pauses for
ten seconds and finally says: “you couldn’t just dahs into my life this
unbridledly.”
His tone is calm like he has considered this for a long time, he gives a final
seal for their relationship:
“Together or let’s not meet again, make a decision.”
Xu Qin lowers her head, her lips move. Her tears start to fall down.

Chapter 29
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The haze is getting serious, the sky is not seen; The living room is silent,
the porridge is boiling inside the pot.
Xu Qin leans on the kitchen counter and lowers her head. Her tears just
fall down one by one by its own.
Time passes minute by minute second by second, She says nothing.
Song Yan just turns off the stove.
The porridge stops boiling.
He says nothing and turns his back to leave. He even doesn’t say any
goodbye.
The time he passes by her shoulder, Xu Qin’s eyes are covered with tears.
She stands there quietly. She hears him go out of the apartment and
everything in the apartment turns quiet.
She couldn’t bear the heartbreak. She straightens her lips, she doesn’t
make any sound. Her shoulder is trembling. She bends her body and
couldn’t stand up straight. She couldn’t control her emotion. She clutches
the table and tries to restrain. Finally she stops.
She calms herself down. She comes toward the pot and scoops a bowl of
porridge. She starts to eat.
Bite and bite, it’s a bit hot. Hot till her tears once again fall down. She just
wipes her cheek. It’s strange, it’s clear that he puts nothing inside the
porridge, there’s no seafood, veggies, sugar, salt. It’ just a plain porridge,
how could she feel something sweet on it?
She takes a deep breath and once again wipes her tears. She finishes her
first bowl and the second bowl.
She stands beside the stove and unexpectedly she could finish the whole
pot.
She washes the pot, bowl and the spoon. She also wipes clean the stove.
Everything is returning to normal like nothing has happened.
This mid-afternoon, she should go to work. This is what she likes about
being a doctor. She is so busy and has no time to think about her own
feeling. Whether it’s really bad or good, it’s okay.
It’s suit her so much.
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She goes and freshens up herself and then leaves the apartment.
Downstair unexpectedly she meets Meng Yan Chen. He says that he bring
her a lunch.
Xu Qin says: “I already ate.”
She wears her mask so he couldn’t see her expression. Her gaze is cold
and calm, her eyes are red. Meng Yan Chen could guess what is
happening, he is worried for her to drive her own car. “Let me send you to
the hospital.”
Xu Qin doesn’t refuse.
The time the car gets into the main road, Xu Qin suddenly speaks up:
“Actually yesterday you didn’t need to take me back home. Even if you
don’t remind me, I wouldn’t dare.”
Meng Yan Chen drives his car and says nothing else.
“What are you afraid of, Meng Yan Chen? You think that have grown up
and become independent, then I would fly away and give up everything?
Xu Qin looks at the window and asks: “Do you know how does animal
trainer train animal? —— The time the animal is small, hit it, lock it, starve
it, spoil it, cherish it, feed it. The time it grows up and has energy, as long
as it sees basin and whip, it still couldn’t dare to struggle and go outside.”
Meng Yan Chen’s Adam’s Apple move. He shows his sad expression. Xu
Qin seems to talk about another person’s story.
“You guys said that he doesn’t deserve me. Actually it’s me, who don’t
deserve him. Being together with him, I feel that I could hurt him anytime.
Because —— I am a despicable person.”
“Just like previously if I didn’t change my family name, I wouldn’t be your
Mei Mei. I could keep on liking you. But I wouldn’t be part of Meng family. I
would lose this family and be alone and have no one. If liking you let me
lose my Papa Mama, let me lose my family’s shelter. Let me lose beautiful
room delicious food. Losing my free and privileged life. Ge, then it’s better
to not like you.
I’m sorry, I want everything. That time I wanted Papa Mama, I wanted you.
But now I want Song Yan, but I couldn’t. Because I have no courage, I
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have no gut. I am not brave enough to face, I could only hide away. I have
no energy to love, I have no right to love. I am unworthy for anyone to
love me. Really.” Xu Qin says: “I’m sorry.”
These years she never expresses her feeling whether it is now or in the
past. She just keeps it inside her heart.
Meng Yan Chens’ heart is so painful and numb. His eyes are sad, he
seems to be unable to control himself. He lowers down his window and let
the cool wind comes inside the car. He takes the breath deeply and forces
to press down his feeling.
But compare to pain, he feels a bit scared. He seems that there’s
something dead inside of Xu Qin. As if in the future she would be more
silent than now. Her life would be so dark that there’s no sign of light.
He wants to say something to her, but there’s no much time. The journey
to the hospital is short. They would arrive in front of the hospital soon.
The time Xu Qin opens the door, Meng Yan Chen suddenly suggests: “Just
go abroad.”
Xu Qin stops.
Meng Yan Chen says: “Qin Qin, I’ll take you abroad. Let’s not go back to Di
City anymore, okay?”
Xu Qin turns silent for a moment like she is considering it seriously. At last
she just shakes her head and gets off the car.
There’s half an hour left before her shift starts, Xu Qin goes to the
psychiatry department. She looks for her colleagues, Pan Qing Qing, who
studied abroad together with her before.
Xu Qin wants to find her to let her prescribe medicines for helping her to
sleep and controlling her feeling.
At first Pan Qing Qing wasn’t willing to prescribe it for her, she asks her to
lay down for half an hour to chat. But half hour later, Xu Qin doesn’t say
anything.
No matter how Pan Qing Qing tries to enlighten her, she just be silent like
a mute.

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Pan Qing Qing is helpless. At last she just prescribes her medicine but
doesn’t dare to prescribe too much. She just asks her to come by again
few days later.
Xu Qin takes the medicine and leaves without making any noise
…………..
Di Miao is called by her mother to go home during the class, her mother
says that something happens at home.
She takes a cab to rush home. She is agitated, she opens up Song Yan’s
bedroom and notices there’s nothing different. In this broad day light, the
curtain is pulled close. The room is a bit dark, Song Yan is sleeping on the
sofa while covered with his own coat.
Because she opens the door, the room has light on it. It wakes Song Yan
up, he frowns.
Di Miao releases her breath, she comes over: “My ma told me to come
home ——“ It stops abruptly when she smells a strong alcohol smell.
Since he be a solider, it’s been ten years since Song Yan touched any drop
of alcohol
After being firefighters he also never drinks. Even if she is on holiday, she
wouldn’t drink any alcohol to take precaution if he gets any emergency
call.
With this condition, Di Miao knows that he is hurt ruthlessly. She is worried
and panic, she looks at the empty bottles around. She is shocked: “You
drank all of this?”
Song Yan frowns because of the light, he says: “Close the door.”
Di Miao notices that he is still has consciousness, she is relieved and
closes the door.
The room turns dark again.
Di Miao feels sad and sorry for him.
She sits down on the ground and wants to provoke him: “What is it? Didn’t
I say to you that her drunk words are not counted, you didn’t listen to me
and just went to her. It’s great right now, you are dump right?”

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She thinks Song Yan would scold her but he doesn’t do that. His voice is
hoarse and low. He says: “Em, she doesn’t choose me.”
Di Miao’s heart turns even unwell. Her family cherishes her Ge Ge, she
even worships him since she was little. How could someone trample him
like a mud. She is so angry: “It’s because she is blind.”
Song Yan says nothing and shakes his head.
She wants to say something more, but she knows that he is too tired. She
just let him covers his eyes and sleep.s
In the dark, Di Miao watches him.
His breath turns deep. His face is not calm like he is in suffering.
Di Miao is so heartbroken, she couldn’t help but to say: “This time you
wold have no more illusion about this matter right? Ge, if you are feeling
unwell then just let it off, okay? You could do anything. But let me beg
you, don’t mind her anymore okay? What is so good about her? I never
see any person like him. She is so cold——“
Song Yan: “D*mm*t, shut up.”
His words sound weak like he is scolding a person who disturbs his sleep.
He frowns and flips his body and continues his sleep.
Di Miao doesn’t dare to disturb him, she just stays put and accompanies
him. She thinks that he is sleeping yet he suddenly speaks up: “She is not
that kind of person.”
Then it’s a moment of silence again.
Di Miao sits there peacefully and says nothing. She doesn’t comment and
just waits for him to continue.
His back is facing her, he takes a deep breath and says with a low voice:
“She is the most inferior person that I have ever met.”
“She clearly wants to be crazy, wants to stir up trouble, she wants to be
wild, she wants to be free. She wants to disobey, wants to do bad things
but she doesn’t dare. She pretends to be strong and determined. She acts
unkindly. Yet actually she is just outwardly strong but inwardly weak. With
her temper —-“ He pauses for a moment and laughs: “If she really gets

202
married with a man in that social circle, she would be dead because she
would be bullied.”
He laughs, yet there’s tear on his eyes: “She would be dead because she
is bullied.”
Di Miao’s tears also start to fall down. She raises her head to look at the
ceiling. She says: “It’s her own choice, who could she blame?”
Song Yan says nothing else.
It’s his fault, he couldn’t give her any courage to choose him.
These years, he never regrets his every choice, but if that year, he could
kneel down and beg that person………

Chapter 30
A week after that day, the weather keeps on being dim and cold. The
warning for serious level of haze continues for seven days.
The schools are closed, the small stores and businesses are closed too.
Most of the companies in SCBD area are having days off.
But most people are using subway or public transports or their own
private transports to go around. Most of them are using mask to cover
their face.
Today in the morning 07:30 p.m., the city just revives. Song Yan and the
firefighters are finishing their duty.
The early morning in the winter has really low temperature.
The firefighters’ body are full with ashes and dust, they feel cold and tired.
Everyone’s face shows that they are very tired. They tidies up their tools.
During the time they refill the water for the fire engine, Song Yan sits
down near the roadside and smokes. He should be very tired, his mind is
so blank. No one knows what he is thinking.
All round the visibility is less than ten meters, the dusky weather makes
people feel constrained.
Several firefighters come over and sit down around him. He throws a pack
of cigarette to them and each one of them takes one. They just smokes.
Everyone is so tired, they don’t talk with each other. They also don’t dare.
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They could see there’s something wrong these days with Song Dui
(Leader Song). The few days ago holiday seems to make him even
constrained and depressed. There’s no difference with him when he is on
duty; but the time he is free, he is dispirited.
No one dares to ask.
Xiao Ge says: “Now I really want to have a hot shower.”
Jiang Yi says: “But I could endure the days of not showering, I just want to
lay down and sleep for three days three night.”
Yang Chi: “Just dream on, today we will have training.”
Xiao Ge Ge still considers his dirty appearance: “Every time we are on
duty, I have a wish.”
Tong Ming hears it and laughs. “My wish could have a hot water, this
water is too cold.”
Li Cheng Ze says nothing and just looks at the breakfast store nearby.
Yang Chi asks Song Yan; “Ge, what about you? What is wish every time
you are on duty? What do you want?”
Song Yan just smokes and says: “Everyone gathers up.”
Everyone is startled and laughs.
“Don’t laugh. D*mm*t your faces are so black.” Song Yan smokes and
stands: “Let’s go.”
The firefighters are standing up: “Let’s go.”
Song Yan raises his chin and points to the opposite side: “Let’s go and fill
up your stomach.”
“Okay!” They both shout.
They go to the breakfast store with the body full of dust. People are
looking and passing by them. Some of people are glancing at them for a
while, some of them frown because of their dirty appearance. But some of
them just don’t care.
…………
This week Xu Qin is sleeping so deeply and soundly, she feels the
medicine Pan Qing Qing prescribed is very effective. She doesn’t know
whether the sleep is good or bad but at least she could sleep.
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In morning of working days, she wakes up around 07:30 a.m.
When she freshens up, the tv in the living room is broadcasting a morning
news.
“Di City’s housing price keeps on rising up, the average price suddenly
breaks through 62,000 per square meter; The high grade of Zong Lu Hua
Yuan’s average price has reached 140.000 per square meter……”
Xu Qin washes her face and thinks about the selection of resident
physician through public appraisal. If she is successful, she would be
promoted and we would gain raise in her salary.
After finish washing her hands, her phone rings. Fu Wen Ying calls her,
she just asked about her condition. Xu Qin knows clearly that she just
wants to ask about the blind date that she attended.
Xu Qin goes to blind date again. Fu Wen Ying arranged the time, she had
refused but it’s useless.
The partner is a minister’s son, he is rich and handsome. He is well-
educated and talented. He said to Xu Qin: “You don’t need to do anything.
You also could stay unemployed. Marry with me mean that you could
enjoy life with a peaceful day. As long you could give birth for a son for
me.”
He is nothing better than Jiang Yu.
Xu Qin says: “I don’t like him.”
Fu Wen Ying sighs: “How could you are not interested in him?
Xu Qin turns silence for a while and says with a low voice: “Mama, I have
said several times. I have someone that I like. Could I——“
Her heart has that kind of impulse, she wants to struggle. But the time
she speaks up, she couldn’t finish. She feels so helpless.
Fu Wen Ying waits for a while and doesn’t expect that she is not dare to
speak up. She just asks: “QIn Qin, do you still remember what did I say to
you that year? Listen to Mama, okay?”
Then the call ends. Xu Qin stands there for a while. She looks at her watch
and wants to go to work.

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She goes to the living room to switch off the television with the remote
control. Then she sees a firefighter figure on the TV:
“Yesterday afternoon, there’s a young kid stuck in the middle of revolving
door of Xin Tian Di public square. The firefighters of Qi Feng Lu were quick
to rescue him……..”
Xu Qin’s fingers pause for a second, her mind is wandering around. After a
while, she just turns off the TV quickly and takes her keys out of the room.
She then goes to the elevator. She recalls the day he left.
On the way to the hospital, there’s a red traffic light. The car stops, she
forces herself to blank her mind, to not remind herself of Song Yan.
She looks at the window and notices the sky is so gloomy.
It seems that the whole world is dull and desolate too. Without any
preparation, there’s an fire fighter car passing by.
That time she suddenly thinks: This time, in another corner of the city,
what is Song Yan doing?
On the block, Song Yan is still eating with his group.
They are so hungry. They eat everything from You Tiao, soy milk, breads,
Xiao Long Bao (Steamed dumpling), steamed dumpling with meat and
vegetable stuffing. It’s a table with a lot of food.
Song Yan doesn’t eat too much, he is patient and waits for his brothers to
eat. In his group, the youngest one is only nineteen years old, the oldest
one is just twenty five years old.
Next year, perhaps he would leave; next year he would complete his term
of service. If he is incapable to find a suitable position, he might be faced
for changing his profession and returning to civilian life.
Xiao Ge slurps his noodle and asks Jiang Yi: “Jiang Ge, tomorrow what is
your plan after completing your term of service?”
Jiang Yi laughs: “Return to my hometown, maybe be a security guard, or
repairman.”
Li Cheng says: “Think about another profession. Maybe you could get into
business of being a professional who takes care of fire safety.”

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Jiang Yi says: “Every year there are lots of retired solider, how could I be
that. I also come from a village, I have no connection.”
Song Yan says nothing and just eats his noodle.
Being a firefighter these years, every year he would send his friends to
retire. Most of them are born in poor family, have no connection. So they
could only return to their old family and do conventional work.”
Everyone turns quiet and leaves quietly too.
Song Yan shifts the topic. “The superior said that next year there would be
a raise in salary.”
Everyone is excited: “How much will it be?”
Song Yan: “300.”
Everyone is so happy. Jiang Yi counts and smiles: “It’s great. It would be
4,500 a month.”
Li Cheng is jealous: “Mine would only be 3,000.”
Yang Chi says: “You just entered, bear with it.”
Li Cheng nods: “Ay.”
Song Yan smiles lightly and says: “From next year, the system would be
reformed. There would be holiday roster for the weekend. You guys
wouldn’t be so tired.”
Li Cheng’s face is indifferent: “Anyway I have no place to go for holiday.”
Xiao Ge glares at him: “Just sleep. These days I’m so tired.”
Yang Chi: “Xiao Ge, you always say that you are so tired. Is it because you
use your right hand too much?”
Xiao Ge: “I would kick you till dead.”
The group keeps on laughing and joking around. A young woman passes
by them, Xiao Ge glances over, his gaze is following that girl. Song Yan
notices it. He looks at the young girl. That young girl should be around
Xiao Ge’s age.
Song Yan could see there’s adoration and long for interact with that young
woman on her eyes.
The time Xiao Ge looks at them, he has no smile on his face. He just
lowers his head and looks at his dirty body. He turns quiet.
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Song Yan drinks his soya milk and feels complicated.
This moment he recalls that woman of him.
These days he is so busy of training and duties. He doesn’t want to think
of her. But this time the time he remembers her, it feels like a knife stabs
into his heart.
‘fail through lack of final effort’.
………..
The haze is getting worse day by day. The schools continue to be on
holiday. The hospitals are running as usual.
These days, Xu Qin doesn’t call takeaway. For lunch, she goes to have it
at the hospital’s dining hall. She feels that the food is so hard to eat. But
the time she wants to throw it, she once again remembers Song Yan.
Remembers he said that the firefighters cook a good food.
That’s right. Military people need strength, It wouldn’t do when they don’t
eat well.
But she also needs energy to work, so she forces herself to eat several
bites.
Emergency department is very different from outpatient service, there’s
no resting time for emergency department. After the lunch, she should
return and be on standby.
This afternoon, Xu Qin does her duty as operating surgeon and finishes a
surgery.
The surgery is not really hard, but she has a high feeling of
accomplishment. When she is done, Xu Qin just realizes that Professor Xu
is on the observation watching her. He has a strict expression. Xu Qin has
a hard time to not what does he think about her skill.
When Professor Xu notices the surgery is done, he just leaves without any
expression.
Xu Qin tidies up herself quickly and chases after him.
“Professor Xu!” Xu Qin runs toward the elevator and stops.
Xu Ken stops.

208
“I notice that you were watching my operation. Please advise me, do you
have any opinion or advise for me? Your opinion is very valuable for me.
Thank you.”
But he answers: “Your skills are fine and perfect. I have no other thing to
teach you.”
Xu Qin knows Xu Ken’s temper well, he couldn’t speak in conventional
term.
“But you still have objection toward me right?”
Xu Ken says: “When you treat your patient, you just treat them like doing
experiment with rabbit.”
Xu Qin knows that Professor Xu and she have a different perspective.
Moreover she usually doesn’t like to communicate with others.
But now the selection of resident physician would enter a critical point, an
disagreement would influence her promotion to a higher position. Though
she depends on Meng family’s connection, but she has confident for her
success, yet this time she unprecedentedly wants to depend on herself.
Xu Qin says: “Professor Xu, I and you indeed have different kind of
opinion, but different routes to the same destination. It’s the same way as
helping people. You think doctor needs heart and feeling, but I don’t think
my coldness and rationality of observing in solving matter is wrong. This is
just a different opinion.”
“The main motivation for being a doctor is for people.” Professor answers
her directly, then he asks: “Doctor Xu, the time you chose your profession
as a doctor, you make an oath, do you still remember it?”
Xu Qin is startled lightly and frowns.
“I uphold the honor and noble tradition of doctor profession. I want to
show my greatest respect toward the humanity.” Professor Xu reads a
script of the oath, he says: “Toward life you are short of the most basic
respect. You have violated your oath as a doctor. The honor and the
tradition of being doctor aren’t with you. But because you are a talented
surgeon, I feel so heartbroken by this.”
Professor Xu finishes his words and just leaves.
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Xu Qin stands there for a while, she has a hard time to understand.
Professor Xu’s words seems to shock her. But this shock comes too
dignified, she seems to have no great emotion.
The time she pushes open emergency exit, she turns her head over, she
feels something even shocking.
She sees Song Yan, he is wearing his green suit. He is standing there
facing the window.
Xu Qin stays there two seconds and doesn’t respond. She doesn’t know
why he could appear at this time and this place. This is the first time she
sees him in his full green uniform. He even wears his hat and belt. He
looks so handsome.
Song Yan looks forward, but he notices a gaze on his body. He shifts his
body and sees her.
She just returns from her operation, she is still wearing her light green
operation suit. She still has her head cover. She is looking at her with her
big eyes. Her expression still looks cold.
Xu Qin is startled for two second. Her first response just take off her head
cover. Her black hair simply falls scattered.
She just grabs her hair and tidies it up. Then she unconsciously wants to
go toward him. But she suddenly remembers that they have promised to
not meet each other again. She stops and then turns her body back, she
notices that there’s no other way……
Song Yan’s gaze is silent and watching her rushed and muddled action.
Xu Qin looks away and just passes by him.
Suddenly the emergency room’s door is opened. The deputy director Liu
comes out: “I’m sorry, I’m sorry letting you wit for a lot time. Have you
seen the material—-? Ay, Xiao Xu?”
Xu Qin stops when she hears her name is called.

Chapter 31
Xu Qin clutches her hand tightly, she turns her head back: “Deputy
Director Liu.”
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Deputy Director Liu is handling the safeguard of the hospital. Everyday he
always acts so friendly toward everyone. He introduces Xu Qin to Song
Yan: “Xiao Xu ah, this is a firefighter captain at Shi Li Tai, Song Yan, Song
Dui Zhang.”
Xu Qin nods and looks at Song Yan. He looks so handsome today.
“Song Dui Zhang, this is the youngest most promising surgeon in our
hospital, Xu Qin, Xu Yi Sheng (Doctor Xu).”
“Em.” Song Yan answers it and nods. He looks at Xu QIn.
Xu Qin looks at his eyes. Then she looks away.
She stands there quietly, a second, two seconds, it’s so awkward.
Song Yan nods his head and says: “Hi.”
Xu Qin also looks at him again and nods: “Hi.”
She is clumsy is too obvious, Deputy Director Liu smiles and helps her to
talk: “Our Xu Yi Sheng, has exquisite skills in medical expertise, but she is
not good at communicating with others, she doesn’t like to talk. It’s the
first time you guys meet, please look after her, Song Dui Zhang.”
Song Yan says: “I dare not.”
Xu Qin’s face blushes, she looks down and asks: “Song Yan, Dui Zhang,
you come here to handle something?”
Song Yan’s eyes shows a cold smile;
Deputy Director Liu’s face changes, he looks at Song Yan awkwardly and
pats Xu Qin’s shoulder. He smiles and says: “Xiao Xu ah, next weekend
there’ll be fire drill at our hospital, last week I have sent the material to
each departments.”
Xu Qin thinks about it: “No ah….”
Song Yan is calm, Deputy Director Liu is busy to stop a leak: “Xiao Xu ah,
you should be very busy that you forget about it.”
Xu Qin: “……”
“So today Song Dui Zhang comes over to observe.” Deputy Director Liu
says: “Xiao Xu, you could continue your business, we will leave first.”
Then he leaves with Song Yan.
When he leaves, he passes by her shoulder.
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Xu Qin walks two steps and looks back. Song Yan’s figure is so handsome
and tall.
He almost reaches the corner, his side face is great.
He doesn’t look back.
Xu Qin places her hands inside her pocket and leaves. Her heart is calm.
She returns to the office room and hears the conversation between
nurses. Xiao Xi says: “Don’t think about anymore, Xu Yi Sheng definitely
would oppose it.”
Xu Qin goes inside the room and asks: “What is it?”
“Before there’s emergency notice, there would be fire drill at the
hospital.” Xiao Bei says, “Everyone would use their own towel to cover
their nose and run downstair. But Xu Yi Sheng, you are win a prize.”
Xu Qin: “Win a prize?”
“You are chosen to play a part of being locked inside.” Xiao Bei says. Xiao
Xi addds: “moreover you are the left alone one after everyone is rescued.”
Xu Qin: “……..”
Xiao Dong: “Maybe because Xu Yi Sheng look like someone that could be
left alone——“
Xiao Nan pokes her head, Xiao Dong just shuts up.
Xu Qin says: “Em, I would play that part.” Then she takes a look at the
material.
Several nurses look at each other.
Xiao Dong lowers her voice: “Why do I think that Xu Yi Sheng seems
happy with it ah.”
Xiao Bei: “Right, I also feel the same thing.”
Xiao Xi: “Whether she is happy or not, would it be the same?”
Everyone nods: “Oh.”
The next day, the north wind just blows away the haze. The sky is too
bright and fine.
The time Xu Qin wakes up she goes to the balcony to open her window.
She lets the wind gets inside the apartment.
She looks at the blue sky.
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The blue sky persists till the fire drill day.
The drill ground is at the fifth to seventh floor of mixed wards. Hundreds
of doctors, nurses and patients are preparing to act. Xu Qin acts a doctor
who does her patrol around the patients’ room.
When it’s 03:30 p.m, the firefighter alarm suddenly rings. The heart
surgeon, Doctor Zhu, yells: “There is fire!”
In a second, there’s a thick smoke filling the corridor. Everyone starts to
move.
Someone calls to report to the firefighter department. There are people
who runs downstair, there are people who taking wet towel to cover their
nose. Someone is helping patients to go downstair.
Everything is clear and orderly. After all it’s only an act, there’s no sense
of crisis. Everyone seems to be so calm. There’re even people who are still
busy with their phone. There are also few people laughing and smiling for
help.
According to the scenario, Xu Qin is locked inside the medicine room
beside the nurses’ station.
She locks herself inside the medicine room, she looks around the room.
Then she suddenly feels that scenario is a bit unreasonable. She is a
doctor, how could she be locked inside the medicine room. This is
obviously should be Xiao Nan, Xiao Bei’s role.
Forget it It’s okay for her to be alone.
After all, she feels that it’s much better to stay there then covering her
nose and running downstair.
Xu Qin is so idle, she just takes something and reads it.
The time she reads the fourth prescription, then she hears a siren of the
firefighters. Xu Qin is startled, this speed is too fast. She looks at her
watch, then the fire alarm just rings for less than three minutes.
Xu Qin goes to the window and pushes open the window to look what
happens in front. She couldn’t see the fire engine, she just hears the siren
is ringing closer and closer. She watches cars around the hospital move
away to let the fire engines pass.
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Very quickly, from two sides, there are three fire engines coming over. Xu
Qin remembers from the scenario. This time ‘firefighting’ operation would
be done by Qi Feng Lu and Shi Li Tai’s two firefighters group. There are
twenty firefighters coming to the fire drill ground.
The fire engines move forward and stops near the garden. Fully armed
firefighters in an instant get off the car and surround their leader and
instructor. Xu Qin notices Song Yan. He is wearing a dark uniform and
standing in the middle of everyone. He is analyzing the circumstances and
start to assign the duties.
After the order, everyone starts to disperse. Some of them go inside the
‘fire scene’, some of them start to turn on the high pressure sprinkler.
Xu Qin just realizes that during the fire drill, the real water would be
sprayed too. Following that time, there’s a smoke coming out from the
building.
Xu Qin doesn’t really value this kind of practice, she doesn’t even have
her wet towel. Now when she knows there’s a smoke, she coughs and
chokes.
She looks around and notices there’s a gauze roll and saline. She wets the
gauze with the saline and covers her nose.
The water sprays around the room. ‘The left behind’ doctors and patients
should yell for help and tell the firefighter about their location.
Xu Qin kneels down there for short moment. She hears hurried footsteps.
She covers her nose and tays there. The firefighters are rescuing those
‘left behind’ doctors and patients.
It’s not her turn yet.
She closes the door and retreats, she continues to wait. After a while, she
still couldn’t see who would come over to help her. The smoke starts to
disperse. After all, it’s not a real fire. It wouldn’t persist for a long time.
Xu Qin waits for ten minutes more, yet still no one comes over. She
gradually notices that she is forgotten. If there’s a real fire, supposedly
she would be left out and died there.

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Realizing this makes she frowns. She thought at first that ‘firefighter’
wouldn’t left her alone there. Her heart feels like it’s being stabbed. She
decides to finish this boring acting. The time she is getting ready to stand
up, someone comes over.
Song Yan pushes open the door and looks around. He notices that Xu Qin,
who is covering her nose with the gauze.
Song Yan doesn’t feel surprised about this, he says: “What are you doing
here?”
“Aren’t we having a fire drill? I am the one that is left behind.” Xu Qin puts
down the gauze and stands up. She says without any polite remark: “If
this a real fire scene, then supposedly now you would find me as a
corpse.”
Song Yan turns silence for half second and asks: “You didn’t scream for
help, who would know that you are here?”
Xu Qin: “……”
She says: “In the scenario, isn’t there written there’s someone left alone
inside the medicine room?”
Song Yan looks at her: “No, we as firefighters don’t know anything about
the detail.”
Xu Qin still tries to justify herself: “In the scenario, there is no word to let
me scream——“ She finishes her words and just feels that her attitude is
improper.
Song Yan looks at her with deep gaze, it’s like his soundless way of
reprimanding her.
Xu Qin is silent and says nothing, she doesn’t talk back at him.
This time, there’re nurses coming over from the nurses’ station so it’s
turns out few of them are hiding and discussing about where should they
dine tonight.
Song Yan turns his head back and looks at those nurses. Those nurses are
so shocked by his gaze and just leaves while holding hands.
Xu Qin feels that currently she is like a student who get caught for
skipping the class.
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Song Yan looks at Xu Qin with an alarming gaze and turns his body to
leave. Looking at this Xu Qin also follows him out.
Song Yan stops: “Where are you going?”
Xu Qin: “You have found me, shouldn’t you save me?”
Song Yan doesn’t know whether she is joking or not. He just laughs: “The
fire has been ignited for half an hour. No one could come to save you. Just
wait here.”
Xu Qin hears that he is serious, so she stands there and asks: “Then how
could I go out.”
Song Yan: “The time the fire engine lifts its stair.”
“………” Xu Qin turns silence and responds: “Then the crane like stair?”
Song Yan corrects her: “life-saving stair.”
Xu Qin feels helpless and just strokes her neck when she thinks how
everyone would watch how she is put down that way. “Okay.”
Song Yan exits the medicine room and wants to close the door.
Suddenly the ground shakes without sign. The whole body starts to shake.
The medicine inside the room starts to shake violently.
Both of them start to startle at the same time, they both look at each
other. Xu Qin is at loss. Song Yan suddenly comes forward and holds her.
The bottles on the shelf start to shake and fall to the ground. It shatters
everywhere.
Song Yan protects Xu Qin’s head and holds her shoulder. He takes her to
the corner and let him lean on the floor. His tall body covers her closely.
It keeps on shaking; A lot of nurses start to scream outside. This time no
one knows whether they are acting or not.
Xu Qin curls up at the corner, her heart beats so fast. The wall behind her
is shaking too, but Song Yan, who is standing in front of her, could stand
up steadily. His hand holds her back of head. The rough firefighter suit
sticks close to her face and blocks her view. She couldn’t see anything or
hear anything.
The earthquake continues for ten seconds and stops.

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Song Yan keeps on maintaining his position and stands there for three
seconds more. When he is sure that the earthquake has stopped, he lets
her go.
Xu Qin’s breathing is cramped, she asks: “Is it an earthquake?”
“Em, it should be near the Di City.” Song Yan is serious, he goes to the
window to look down. Yang Chi stands there with raising life-saving stair.
He is holding the handle tightly. Supposedly the earthquake is so heavy.
Song Yan asks: “Are you okay?”
“I’m okay!” Yang Chi says.
Song Yan looks around his firefighters, he counts and realizes that
someone is missing.
“Xiao Ge?”
“Here!” On the fourth floor, there’s a head extending out.
Song Yan: “Everyone, let’s return to our unit!”
Xu Qin doesn’t have time to say anything, SOng Yan already goes outside.
When she just walks two steps, he looks back and takes a look at Xu Qin’s
shoes. He then walks back to her side. He says nothing and suddenly just
holds her waist. Then he holds her waist and carries her up.
Xu Qin suddenly holds his body, she feels her heart is unresolved.
He holds her to pass all the shattered glasses and pieces. When they are
outside the room, he puts her down. He even doesn’t look back.

Chapter 32
The smoke has dispersed from the hospital, the water is all over the
ground. There’s no one over.
The fire drill just passes, every firefighters have gathered and withdrew.
There’s no one inside the sickroom. There’s no doctor on the corridor.
There’s no nurse in the nurse station.
It’s a bit strange to see that peaceful scene.
Xu Qin takes the stair to go down quickly. The time she exits the building,
she sees that everyone is losing his/her head out of fear on the road. Song
Yan and friends are on their fire engine and leaves.
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In crowd, Xiao Xi and Xiao Bei hold Xu Qin to go to another side: “Xu Yi
Sheng, let’s go to that side to evacuate.”
“Before it’s too shocking, do you feel afraid?” Xiao Nan cries in alarm.
But Xu Qin just remembers about Song Yan for the previous earthquake.
She feels that she has a different experience with anyone else.
When she arrives at the open terrain, she just notices that this matter is
serious.
The road is full of cars, it’s full of people. The buildings around the hospital
also have evacuated their employees. Everyone looks so panic and at
loss. They ask each other and comfort each other: “What happened
before? It’s too terrifying!”
“Our office is at 20th floor, it’s too shocking!”
“Is it really earthquake?”
“How could we have one here?”
“Would it happen again?”
“Then what should we do?”
“There’s no signal for the phone? Whose phone has signal?” Someone
yells. Then everyone starts to take a look at his/her phone.
“That’s right, there’s no signal!”
“How could this be?”
“Would it happen again?”
Everyone’s tone starts to be more panic. They are waiting till the
communication signal recovers.
The fire engines suddenly pass by the road. Several firefighters extend
out their head and yells: “Move away! Give a way!”
Xu Qin hears Song Yan’s yell and looks at the fire engine. Then she
realizes why he is so hurried in going back to the station.
To assist the earthquake, the firefighting department should move the
first time. Song Yan has noticed earlier that the situation is serious. This
time they should go back to be on standby.
The fire engine starts to disappear. Everyone is in complete loss. Finally
someone yells: “The earthquake is from Wang Xiang!”
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Everyone turns silent for a second.
It’s a strange kind of silence. Suddenly a woman beside Xu Qin cries
again. She cries and calls her parents but it’s not answered.
“My Ma doesn’t answer my call ——“
That woman keeps on crying and calling at the same time.
All around there are sound of cries.
A lot of people start to comfort those people who are crying. Perhaps the
Wang Xiang area hasn’t recovered its signal. Or perhaps the family
members have no phone.
Wang Xiang, one of the place where she had moments with Song Yan.
Very quickly, there’s a message about the earthquake. “Wang Xiang
earthquake, 6.4.
Wang Xiang is a county town which was formerly administred by Di City,
the farthest from the city center —- 100 km. Then it’s being transferred to
out of Di City jurisdiction, it becomes central government department
administrative region. Wang Xiang county town is situated among the
mountain range. It’s inconvenient traffic, moreover it’s poor and lag in
development.
People are not dispersing, they start to discuss even more intense.
Everyone is busy with his/her own phone whether to call or find news
about the earthquake. In this moment, the military people and medical
staffs are the ones who need to act first.
Song Yan and his group return to the station quickly, they change their
equipment and start to assemble. They are waiting for an order.
Yet Xu Qin and the other medical staffs have gotten back the signal. They
get contacted to immediately return to the big meeting room.
The third military hospital is an army hospital, it must sends medical
teams to rush over disaster area. The hospital leader calls together the
emergency mobilization meeting. He faces all the medical staffs and
starts to talk.
All medical staffs also show solemn and respectful attitude.

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Xu Qin is calm as usual. She doesn’t really listen to the encouraging and
heartfelt speech of the hospital leader. After the meeting ends, she goes
to the stage and signs her own name on the table. She chooses to go the
first group of the medical staff.
She doesn’t classify herself as someone that sympathize with anyone. But
for her, ‘helping’ people is her job. She shouldn’t neglect it, just like that.
At this time this moment, Song yan and group are ready to go on rescue.
The higher authority has issued an order for rescuing the disaster area.
Shi Li Tai station’s firefighters has gathered in the country’s flag
formation.
Fifteen minutes the earthquake, everyone on the street is still there.
The group of medical staffs for helping disaster victims of third military
hospital have gathered. They are making a vow first before being
dispatched. Everyone’s face is full of duty and seriousness.
“I volunteer to go to disaster area, I rely on my conscience and dignity to
practice medicine to help people, to help the dying and heal the injured, I
would not shrink from hardship….”
Xu Qin reads that vow calmly. Suddenly without she realizes, she
remembers the critic from Professor Xu. In a flash, she recalls the days
she was studying abroad, the days she said her vow: I would protect
medical expertise’ honor and tradition. I would show the greatest respect
and honor for human life. Even if in under threat, I wouldn’t use my
medical skill and knowledge to harm human rights and righteousness. I
am seriously and autonomously make a vow with my life
Xu Qin reads and reads, her lips turn even smaller. She is silent.
………
Yet at this moment, Shi Li Tai’s firefighters are gathering in the drill
ground. They are looking at the flag of the country.
“Attention——!”
The firefighters are putting their head high and chest out. They keep up
their spirit.

220
Song Yan looks at the flag and then says the vow: “ I volunteer to rush to
the disaster area to help the disaster victims!’
The other firefighters in chorus follow after him: “ I volunteer to rush to
the disaster area to help the disaster victims!”
“To endure every difficult and dangerous path!”
“To endure every difficult and dangerous path!”
“To race against time to rescue life!”
“To race against time to rescue life!”
“Obey orders and observe strict discipline!”
“Obey orders and observe strict discipline!”
“Promise to tend toward every life!”
“Promise to tend toward every life!”
“We decide to not give up!”
“We decide to not give up!”
Their voice are loud and clear on the drill ground.
Song Yan: “Let’s go!”
………
………
………
Wang Xiang county town is located among the high mountain. On the way
they could see the scattered area, steep ruined walls. It is so desolated
and uninhabited.
The road into the area has collapsed, the traffic department is repairing it
in rush. Xu Qin and team’s car move around through the farther road to
go over. They arrive there when it’s in the evening.
It seems the unsophisticated and peaceful small town wouldn’t be
returned.
The whole small town is in a mess. It seems no building has survived and
unharmed from that earthquake. The winter sunset is surrounding that
ruins.
The villagers are shabbily dressed.

221
They have blood marks on them, they are sitting on their own door;
someone is flipping around the ruins, someone is looking for something;
there’re people who losing their relatives. They are crying and howling;
some people are laying still on the ground, they have turned into corpses.
In just ten seconds, the whole city is destroyed.
The car couldn’t get in any further. The medical staffs should get off, Xu
Qin looks forward and notices orange figures. It’s like firefighters’ orange
suit. The firefighters are working on lifting the ruins to find people.
“Slower! Take it slow!”
“Lift that one, yes that one!”
“That one push it, pry it open!”
“Be careful, don’t push down on his leg!”
Someone seems to be rescued out.
“There’s someone under that one!”
Xu Qin narrows her eyes to look at those people, they seem to be not on
Song Yan’s group.
Xu Qin walks inside and notices that there are a lot of people around.
There’re also soldiers around to help the villagers to retrieve and save
their remaining belongings. There’s a group of slider who builds a tent for
the villagers. Everyone soldiers from different department are having their
own duty to help the villagers.
This time, Song Yan is helping to evacuate people in a collapsed hospital.
Luckily there’s also help from the villagers.
They couldn’t use any crane or bulldozer to help. Song Yan instructs his
group to lift the ruins by carrying it on their shoulder; They are working
hard. In a short hour, they have successfully rescued seven victims.
But under the reinforced concrete, it’s getting complicated and hard to
rescue people. Some of them are buried too deep.
The rescuing process slows down.
A person under the ruins keeps on crying: “Help me, help me.” Some of
them could be seen, some of them couldn’t.

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Song Yan is so sweaty and full of dust. He yells hoarsely: “We would not
abandon you guys!”
“Don’t be afraid, we would not leave!”
“Keep your spirit, please don’t fall asleep!”
A police dog, Xiao Meng, has found the nearest survivor. It shakes its tail
and makes a sound. That survivor is a young man is pressed down by
crushed stones and is under cement precast slab.
Song Yan takes someone to analyze the situation, the young man is so
afraid and cries: “Would you guys not help me? Please don’t leave, help
me, please.”
“We would not go. We would help you.” Song Yan opens a bottle of water
and passes it to him from the crack. “Don’t cry, drink a bit.
The wall is too big and too heavy, they couldn’t push it or move it for a
moment.
There’s no way. Song Yan calls other firefighters and let them dig the
ruins first. Then Song Yan calls someone to bring a hammer to smash to
bits the wall.
The time the hammer starts to break the wall, Song Yan, Yang Chi, Xiao
Ge, Xiao Fei are holding it to not it collapses to the victim.
The group, who is smashing the wall, seems to held back his energy.
Song Yan couldn’t endure it anymore: “Jiang Yi, d*mmit, are you not
eating before?! How long should we let him wait?”
Finally Jiang Yi and friends smash it hardly.
The dust and crumbs of the cement are going everywhere, Song Yan and
friends are quiet and bites their lips.
The young woman knows that they are enduring something for him, he
starts to cry again.
“Don’t cry!” Song Yan says. “There’s nothing to cry.
The young man lifts his left hand to wipe his tear, he feels so sad. His right
hand is pressed down, it’s bleeding.
Song Yan tries to talk with the boy to shift his attention. Then he asks:
“What is your job?”
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“Doctor.”
Song Yan stops for a second: “Which department you are?”
“Surgical department.”
Song Yan turns silent.
“But my hand couldn’t be saved.” The young man says while sobs.
“Today, there’re a lot of people who couldn’t be saved.” Song Yan pants
and says: “If you couldn’t do this anymore, then you could change your
job. You are still young, living is much more important.”
The young man wipes his tear.
“You are a man, when you fall down, you should look for thousand ways to
stand up again.”
The young man cries and nods.
Suddenly there’s a loud sound. The wall is successfully broken. Song Yan
waits for everyone to lift it up.
“One, two, three!”
The wall is lifted up. Song Yan immediately lifts up the stone that presses
the young man’s hand. He is saved.
The villagers start to take him to the emergency center.
Song Yan and friends immediately goes to rescue another survivor without
caring about their own injury on the shoulder when holding the wall.
Thirty minutes ago, Xu Qin and the other medical staffs have rushed to
the emergency center and starts to work.
The emergency center is build temporarily by the military soldiers. Before
Xu Qin and friends arrive, there are three medical teams from other
hospital there. Because everyone has different of working style and
there’re lots of injured people. The situation is a bit chaotic and messy.
But everyone looks dedicated and responds quickly. They don’t want to
delay treating anyone.
Temporarily in the surgery rooms, there are several major surgeries going
on. Xu Qin is in the emergency room treating patients with other doctors.
When she is done treating a patient, there’s someone yells: “Severe
injury! Is there any more surgeon?!”
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Xu Qin immediately comes over: “Me!”
That doctor comes with a group of villagers, who are carrying a young
man with an injured right hand. His right hand is smashed and bleeding.
Xu Qin: “Hand him over to me.”
The young man is taken to the simply equipped surgery room. Xiao Don
and Xiao Xi clean it up first before the surgery. The young man is weak, he
is crying hard.
Xu Qin is on the side, she is doing the sterilization work. The young man
keeps on crying, yet Xu Qin acts like she doesn’t listen to him. Till she
wears her gloves, she unprecedentedly says: “Don’t cry.”
Xiao Dong and Xiao Xi are surprised at the same time, they look at each
other. Xu Yi Sheng is comforting the patient?
She never chats with the patient on the operating table.
The young man asks: “Yi Sheng (Doctor), are you really great?”
Xu Qin: “Em.”
“Could you help me to save my arm and let it recovers to its previous
condition?”
Xu Qin puts on her mask: “I couldn’t.”
Xiao Dong, Xiao Xi : “………..”
“Today, there are a lot of people couldn’t be saved.” Xu Qin says calmly.
The young man’s face turns pale, his tears keep on falling down: “I am
also a surgeon.”
The nurses are startled.
Xu Qin is calm and says to him: “You are young, after today, live well.”
“I know.” The young man sobs: “Before the firefighter Da Ge (big brother)
also said the same thing.”
Xu Qin is silent, she takes the injection from Xiao Nan and injects it into
his arm.

Chapter 33
Xu Qin turns out to be able to keep the young man’s arm. He doesn’t need
to be amputated. If the aftermath rehabilitation is successful and could go
225
smooth, he could recover his ability to grip, but for holding scalpel, it’s
impossible.
The young man is sent out of the sickroom, Xu Qin and the nurses are
coming out and there’s a new patient and other doctor and medical staffs
coming in.
After Xu Qin finishes her surgery, she tidies up the operation tools and
medicines. She notices a serious lack. The time she gets ready to report to
liaison department. A group of solider carries a big box inside the
emergency center department. It’s the medicines.
The leader of military officers says that the medicine would come again
soon as some of it are still on the road. They would be sent in tomorrow
morning.
The logistic department members are checking the medicines and
thanking them.
Xu Qin comes over and looks around whether there’re tools for surgery,
but she notices that one of the officer is looking at her. He seems to judge
something.
Xu Qin looks at him curiously and the officer smiles and says: “Had I never
meet you anywhere?”
In this condition, it seems the act of striking up a conversation is hard.
Xu Qin: “I have no impression.”
She has a desire to turn around, yet the officer says: “It’s very common if
you have no impression. It should happen years ago.”
Xu Qin looks at the stars on his shoulder, and looks at him. Her gaze is not
friendly.
The military officer explains: “I am XX armored army group third level, I
am Lu Jie, I’m not a bad person.”
Xu Qin is quiet. This time there’s a new seriously injured patient sent over.
She immediately stands up and takes them. She just leaves him coldly.
A rank-and-file soldier comes over and asks: “Battalion commander, what
are you doing? This is a bit inappropriate.”

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Lu Jie slaps the rank-and-file soldier’s back of head: “Am I that kind of
person? —— You boss is originated from a scout, I would not remember
wrongly…. This young woman looks really familiar.
It’s clear that he has a deep impression of her, but that moment she
couldn’t remember.
Lu Jie tries to think, he looks back at Xu Qin. She has disappeared.
But very quickly Lu Jie goes away to deal with an emergency.
The first night after the earthquake, Wang Xiang villagers and the
rescuers are having no sleep.
Everywhere there’re yells for help. Everywhere there’re people need for
help. Medical staffs, soldiers, firefighters are trying hard to help them
professionally.
Xu Qin just finishes her third surgery. It’s already 02:00 a.m., she has no
time to rest as the new patient has arrived. He breaks his leg and
bleeding.
Xu Qin follows the stretcher and helps to press the bleeding injury. The
time she passes, she notices Song Yan passing by her.
That time Song Yan just took the injured patient to the emergency center,
he doesn’t even care about his own wound and just leaves.
Everyone around the emergency center walks so fast, they are all in
hurry. Both Xu Qin and Song Yan don’t look back.
………..
In the early morning 04:30 a.m., the degree of difficulty in rescue
increases. The speed of rescuing decreases. There’re only few people sent
to the emergency center.
Yet the doctors still have no time to rest. They still need to keep on watch
for those patient.
Xu Qin takes initiative to register to go to the rescue spot. Xiao Xi and
Xiao Bei are going with her.
When the night time comes, the whole city is so cold.
Xu Qin sits down on the broken and old station wagon.

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On the roadside near the ruins, there are several corpses there. No one
seems to care to bury them yet.
Suddenly there’s a dog barking like a warning.
The firefighters are standing there and having a short rest. Only Song Yan
kneels down on the ground and smokes.
A police dog comes toward Song Yang while barking, then it runs toward
the ruins. It barks again.
This is too strange.
Xu Qin comes over and could hear a woman’s cry: “Help me, I beg you
guys help me.”
A weak woman is crying, it sounds so miserable.
The police dog seems to understand the human’s cry for help. It barks
again. Then it goes to Song Yan again like it is telling him someone is
inside. Song Yan comes over.
But no one moves.
A lieutenant commander says: “Lieutenant, you are defying order! The
higher authority has said clearly that at once we should hurry to next
location.”
Song Yan’s body is full of dirt, even his face is black. On his hand, blood
and mud are mixed together. His eyes show how tired he is. He replies
hoarsely: “There’s someone under this.”
“You also know that it’s too deep, we couldn’t help her!” The lieutenant
commander says and comes forward: “There’re lots of people that need
your help. Don’t waste your time of saving her and let tens more people
wait. If you save her, and the ruins collapse, it would be wasteful.”
The woman seems to react more emotionally. She cries even more
miserable: “Don’t leave. I beg you to not leave me alone! Don’t leave me!
I don’t want to die!”
The police dog, Xiao Meng, doesn’t know how human considers, it is so
worried and running round and round.
“Shi Li Tai’s firefighters!” Song Yan speaks up, the tiredness makes him
pants: “Do you still remember your vow before?”
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The firefighters on his command nods.
Song Yan throws away his cigarette and stands up: “Then let’s do it.”
Xiao Ge and Yang Chi say nothing and just follows Song Yan toward the
ruins.
“You guys!—— Staying here would delay and harm a lot of other people!”
The lieutenant commander clenches his fist and looks at his own group of
rank-and-file soldiers. “Go to the next place.”
They leave.
Xu Qin looks at the current situation, the survivor is stuck on the bottom
part. This are was five-story apartment. Most of the ruins are coming from
bearing wall and roof. Though Song Yan and other fighters are men, but
it’s also hard for them to move it.
Xu Qin says to a driver of the ambulance: “Now go back and call for help.
If you see someone on the way that could help, please ask for their help
too.”
“Okay.”
Then she looks back at Song Yan and friends, they start to move the wall.
Song Yan and friends are so tired. Their faces are red: “One, two, three
——“
Song Yan reminds them: “Make sure you stand up firm! Don’t make a
misstep!”
Everyone lifts up the wall and shifts it slowly.
Xu Qin keeps on watching Song Yan, she remembers the night of heavy
rain. He is trying so hard to help her too.
The time she is thinking, Song Yan suddenly slips, no one expects it. The
wall bumps against Song Yan.
Xu Qin watches anxiously.
Song Yan looks at her for a second, but he just stands up and continues to
order the firefighters to concentrate.
Xu Qin and Xiao Xi and others try to help buy moving small rocks. They
also feel tired.

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Song Yan and friends are really tired, their arms and legs are twisted.
Sometimes it feels that all of their bodies are losing its feeling.
They don’t mind their own injury and just do their work.
The time everyone seems to have lose their energy, the driver of the
ambulance comes back with a group of people to help.
They use almost an hour at the darkest night to have successfully reach
the stuck survivor.
The young woman is there.
Song Yan extends his hand to help her out. His hand is shaking because
he is so tired. That woman holds his hand tightly. Song Yan immediately
pulls her and passes her to Xu Qin.
Xu Qin comes over and checks the woman’s broken ankle:”Hurry up send
her to the emergency center?”
Song Yan asks her: “Is there anyone else at the bottom?”
“I don’t know I live on the second-story.”
Song Yan looks around and suddenly notices a woman is laying on the
ground, she doesn’t move.
“Xiao Ge, come here!”
Both of them lift a plank and notices a bleeding woman. Her body is
curling up.
Xu Qin checks on that woman’s pulse and eyes. Though she is warm, yet
she is dead.
Xu Qin lets her hand go and wants to go take care of a living woman. Song
Yan suddenly speaks up: “Wait.”
“She is dead.” Xu Qin says and takes her medicine box.
Then Song Yan yells coldly: “Xu Qin!”
Xu Qin looks back.
Song Yan: “She is a pregnant woman.”
Xu Qin is startled and looks at that woman. That woman is curling up, she
is protecting the kid inside her belly.
Xu Qin is shocked, she never makes any mistake in judgement.

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She immediately comes back and touches that woman’s belly. Indeed, the
baby inside her womb is full term. Xu Qin hasn’t moved her hand away
and the belly just moves. The baby kicks her hand.
“The kid is alive.” Xu Qin says, her mind is blank.
She immediately takes her glove and scalpel. She never does any
Cesarean operation. This moment, she doesn’t know whether it’s because
of unfamiliarity or fear, her hands just keep on trembling.
Her forehead is sweating a lot. The time she is about to do the operation.
She closes her eyes and the time she opens it again. She is calmer as
usual.
The firefighters and villagers on the side are waiting.
The sky is getting brighter.
Finally there’s a sound of baby’s cry.
Xu Qin is sweating heavily. She cuts the umbilical cord quickly and passes
the baby to Xiao Nan. Xiao Nan covers the baby with white cloth. The time
Xu Qin is about to let go, the baby’s hand holds her pinky finger.
Xu Qin is startled for two seconds and pries open the baby’s fingers.
Everyone is so happy that the baby could be saved. Xiao Nan returns back
to the emergency center with the baby.
Everyone then says: “Thank you, Yi Sheng (Doctor).”
Xu Qin says nothing, she also doesn’t see Song Yan. She sews up that
woman’s belly again.
Her nervousness and devotion have gone away.
Song Yan sits down on her side, suddenly he speaks up: “Thank you, Xu Yi
Sheng.”
Xu Qin stops and doesn’t move. After a while, she shakes her head.
………
What is promise?
What is oath?
What is it mean?
She never thinks her words to be valid, she never defends her belief. No
matter for the scalpel on her hold or for him, who is by her side.
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 Chapter 34
The early morning of the late winter, the temperature is low.
Xu Qin is sitting on the road side near the ruins, she is wiping her bloodied
hands with the wet tissue.
She hears footsteps behind her, Song Yan is coming over and stopping
beside her.
He stands there for two seconds and finally sits down on the stone in front
of her.
Song Yan doesn’t look at her and just smokes.
They don’t have anything to talk to each other so they just stay silent.
The other firefighters are either laying down or sitting down on the road
side. They are resting for a while.
Song Yan just finishes his cigarette and Xu Qin still keeps on wiping her
hands till it’s so red.
Song Yan looks at her and says: “Stop wiping it.”
Xu Qin stops for a second and wants to wipe it again. Song Yan says: “It’s
clean.”
Xu Qin stops and clutches that wet tissue.
Song Yan doesn’t say anything, he stands up: “Let’s go.”
Those resting firefighters sit up and go to the next location.
When he stands up, suddenly there’s a little earthquake. Song Yan stops
and extends his hand toward Xu QIn. He holds her shoulder till it stops.
After a second, it’s gone.
He takes his hand back and leaves.
Xu Qin lifts up her head to look at Song Yan.
He goes to the middle and says few words to the firefighters. Then they
leave.
Xu Qin suddenly yells: “Wait!”
All of them stop, Xu Qin runs toward the ambulance and finds several
bottles of water and hardtacks. Those are given by the emergency center
this morning.
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Xu Qin holds all of it and returns back. She goes and stuffs it inside Song
Yan’s firefighter suit and says: “Remember to drink water, eat something.
For every hour, close your eyes and sleep for around ten minutes.
Something will happen if you keep on enduring this. You might have
sudden death.” Then she gives some of the hardtacks and bottles of water
to other firefighters: “You guys should too.”
Song Yan looks at her and says: “Thank you.”
Xu Qin shakes her head.
Song Yan: “Bye.”
Xu Qin looks at him. When he passes by her shoulder, she says with a low
voice: “Stay safe.”
All of them just leave and disappear in front of her. Xu Qin stands there for
a while…….
Then she returns to the emergency center and goes to see the baby first.
The baby is in normal condition and the nurses are taking a good care of
him.
The news about this baby spreads around, the media comes over to
interview and report about it. It makes the ward be so crowded. Several
young mothers come over to volunteer to help the baby be breastfed.
Xu Qin watches that baby from far way. She sees how the small the baby
is. He is clean so now he is sleeping sweetly inside the warm baby box.
At side the reporters take his photo cautiously, they are afraid to disturb
him.
The liaison department’s person-in-charge asks Xu Qin to receive an
interview but Xu Qin refuses.
In between her work, Xiao Bei holds her phone and shows Xu Qin the
news. She reads: “The rescuer of the baby is the surgeon from third
military hospital, Xu Qin. Because Xu Yi Sheng worked strenuously on the
disaster area, we couldn’t interview her. But we would update you in more
detail……”
The news shows Xu Qin’s photo in her white doctor robe.
xu Qin: “…….”
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Xiao Bei: “All the people should see this, Xu Yi Sheng, you are famous.
Everyone is thanking you.”
Xu Qin: “Record those injured patients.”
Xiao Bei: “Oh……”
Xu Qin suddenly asks: “Xiao Bei.”
“Ay?”
Xu Qin: ‘Would soldier be punished when he defies order?”
“It should be.”
“Em.” Xu Qin continues to work.
“Why are you asking this?”
“Nothing.” Xu Qin says: “This time there’re a lot of parentless children, do
you know how would they be taken care of?”
Xiao Bei: “It’s no use to talk about it now. A lot of them are separated and
couldn’t be contacted. No one knows whether they are really parentless
children. But for the adoption, there would be according the procedure.”
Xu Qin: “Em.”
It’s a busy day for Xu Qin. In the morning she is busy at emergency
center, in the afternoon she would go to the various location. She would
only ten minutes sleep for a day, she never rests fully.
At night, a lot of the patients are sent to the emergency center are
soldiers.
There are soldiers who are injured because during the rescue, there are
some who are exhausted and fainted.
Xiao Nan sighs: “I don’t know what happened to the firefighters?” She is
worried about Tong Ming, those doctors and nurses know about it.
Xiao Xi comforts: “They would be alright. They are very strong. Now the
electricity is on, they would have their tool now. They don’t need to do it
based on their strength anymore. Don’t worry. They would be okay.”
“Ay, before I heard the people said that the firefighters are the most
professional one.” Xiao Dong says: “I didn’t know before.”
Xu Qin listens to them and doesn’t join the conversation. She just listens
and thinks about Song Yan.
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Then she calms herself down as she needs to do another surgery.
The time she is in surgery, the ground seems to shake gain. Xu Qin and
several nurses are used o it now so they are clam.
But after an hour when the surgery is done, the ground starts to shake
more violently.
Everything starts to fall down.
It seems that this earthquake is not small. She has a bad feeling but she
keeps her attention.
Xu Qin is calm and just finishes her operation.
She doesn’t divert attention and just be calm.
When the patient is sent back to the patient’s room, several nurses are
sweating coldly. They are relieved that surgery is done, actually they
never do it when there’s an earthquake.
Xu Qin walks out. She still has a bad feeling. She looks in front and notices
that there’re Xiao Ge and Tong Ming. Xiao Ge’s forehead is bleeding, he is
holding Tong Ming, who is injured on his leg and abdomen.
Xu Qin: “What happened?”
“Aftershock.” Xiao Ge says: “We were in a collapsed apartment.”
Xu Qin is startled and asks: “Song Yan?”
“I have no idea. I was close to Tong Ming so when I saw that he is injured,
I just sent him over here.”
Xu Qin’s hands get cold, her mind is at loss. When she regains herself,
both of them are inside. She goes over and asks them for the location,
and then she leaves with her medicine box.
The wind in late night is so cold. She could hear a yell: “Help to lift it up!
There’s someone under this!”
Xu Qin walks faster and notices a group of people near the ruins. There
are firefighters and soldiers.
Xu Qin’s heart is beating quickly, she pants. She looks around, she
recognizes Yang Chi so she comes over and asks him: “Where is Song
Yan?” She isn’t aware that her voice is so shaking.
“He is below.”
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Xu Qin looks over. She feels that her head is on blow. Several people block
her gaze. She just sees there’s a man’s hand under the broken wall. The
fingers are curling weakly. There are blood and dust.
Xu Qin’s heart feels so broken, she knows that it is his hand.
She kneels down and holds his hand. It’s too cold, hoarse and feels cold.
It’s been ten year, she didn’t expect that the time she once again could
hold his hand,it would be in this kind of moment.
The people around move away, in a flash she could see Song Yan. His
eyes are close, his face is full of blood. A crossbeam is pressing him down.
The dust has covered him. She even couldn’t know the color of his cloth.
He is like a death person.
Xu Qin’s tears start to fall down. She opens her mouth she wants to Song
Yan something but nothing comes out from her mouth. She covers her
mouth and runs toward the other side. She doesn’t yell or cry out-loud.
She just bites her own fingers to calm her feeling. She doesn’t want to
disturb the rescuing process.
She blinks and watches those people. She watches the firefighters using
their own tools to help Song Yan. She watches them successfully break
the wall pressing his leg down. Then he is lifted up.
The time she sees that he is lifted, she once again loses control of herself.
She wants to wipe his face to determine whether he is alive or not. But the
time she is about to touch him, she is bumped by someone.
His face is so pale.
Those firefighters and military men should not know their relationship so
she couldn’t blame them.
The rest of people continue to help other injured people so they don’t
mind Xu Qin.
Here being alive or dead, it is normal. It is so normal that it somehow
unusual, yet it’s hard not to accept it.
…………