The Yearbook By Ruth Guerra and Lucinda Hollberg

March 2012

EXT. TRACK FIELD - CONT. Phil is on the phone with Girlfriend. PHIL We lost Doug...and the yearbooks... INT. CLASSROOM - CONT. GIRLFRIEND sits in the middle of a lecture. GIRLFRIEND (whisper yelling) WHAT??? You guys, you know we have to deliver the yearbooks next period!!! EXT. TRACK FIELD - AS BEFORE Stu tackles Phil. CUT TO: TWO DAYS EARLIER. INT. HOUSES - NIGHT The boys - DOUG, ALAN, PHIL, STU - get ready for their big night. They drive away to the school. EXT. SCHOOL - CONT. The boys park in the parking lot. PHIL Are you guys ready for this? STU Are you sure were not going to get in trouble? PHIL Were just going in and out. Itll be really fast.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

2.

ALAN Its going to seem-pahl. PHIL You mean simple? ALAN No, seem-pahl. DOUG Alright, guys, lets just do this. The boys get out of the car and walk towards the school building. PHIL Are you really going to wear that man purse, Alan, or are you kidding with me? ALAN Phil, it is not a man purse. Its called a satchel. I carry big stuff in it. Indiana Jones has one. PHIL So does Rynn Goldstein.... The boys go in the building. FADE INTO: INT. SMITHS ROOM - DAY The boys sleepily wake up in a trashed room with Pixie Stix powder everywhere. STU Huh? Stu wakes up Alan, and Alan notices the jaguar in the room. He freaks out. ALAN You guys, theres a jungle cat in the room! PHIL Alan, what? ...oh my God, hes actually telling the truth.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

3.

STU Dude, is one of my teeth missing? Wait, whats today? Oh my God, its Monday! The yearbooks...theyre supposed to be distributed today! PHIL ...in four hours. Where are they?? STU Maybe Doug knows...where is he? PHIL Lets call him. Phil calls Dougs phone but Alan answers. ALAN Hello? PHIL Alan? ALAN Hey. PHIL Its Phil. ALAN Oh hey, Phil...this is Dougs phone, this is Dougs phone. PHIL No kidding. They hear a baby cry and look inside one of the drawers. STU Whos baby is this? PHIL Its fine guys. Lets find Doug. This baby is not our problem. ALAN No, we have to take him with us.

4.

INT. HALLWAY - CONT. Boys walk out into the hall with the baby. A TEACHER walks up. TEACHER Oh, what a cute baby. Whats its name? Alan stares blankly ahead and doesnt respond PHIL Ben. ALAN Carlos. PHIL Yeah, Carlos. Stu finds birdies in his pocket, and they inspire the boys to go check out the gym. INT. GYM - CONT. The boys walk into the gym and find COACH CRAWFORD and JEFFCOAT cleaning up the remainder of the mess that apparently was there before. PHIL What happened in here? Coach Crawford and Jeffcoat tell the boys what they think happened last night. Jeffcoat explains that whoever did this will be in trouble and asks if they know whos jacket is found with the mess. ALAN Havent gotten the slightest idea, but Ill tell you if i do. Boys walk away. STU Dude, wasnt that Dougs jacket? PHIL Yeah, it was....hey, why does my head hurt?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: STU You do have a band aid on your forehead. PHIL Oh yeah, guess I do... Its just a little weird...Why do I have all these peppermints in my pockets?

5.

Phil pulls out tons and tons of peppermints from his pockets, actually they all just fall out because there are so many. ALL THREE The nurse. INT. NURSES OFFICE - CONT. Boys walk into the nurses office and find STALKER GIRL sitting in there. STALKER GIRL Oh my gosh. I thought Id never see you again and look I knew my baby was with his father. Now I wont get an F on my Babycare Project. STU Um...Who are you? Whats going on? STALKER GIRL Dont be silly. Im the love of your life. PHIL Look we dont know who you are or what happened the last two nights. Can you just help us? All we know is that something happened in the gym and my head hurts really bad. STALKER GIRL Oh, dont you remember? You got into a fight with all those poker guys last night at the party. STU What party? STALKER GIRL The party you threw here at the school, remember?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

6.

PHIL What are you talking about? STALKER GIRL That crazy party. Something about celebrating after your prank.... Your car almost got destroyed during that fight you had... ALAN My dads car?!?!? PHIL Oh no... EXT. STUDENT PARKING LOT - CONT. The boys run out to find the car. Phil reaches in his pocket and pulls out a set of unfamiliar keys. He hits the clicker, and a police car responds. STU Phil, thats not our car. Howd we get a cop car? PHIL Thats awesome! ALAN But wheres my dads car?!?! PHIL Chill out, Alan, well go back in and find it. INT. HALLWAY/MAIN OFFICE - CONT. The boys go back into the building. WOMAN ON INTERCOM (V.O.) Attention students, if you drive a red Mustang, please park it in the student parking lot. Its taking up the bus line. The boys go into the main office and claim their car.

7.

EXT. TENNIS COURTS PARKING LOT - CONT. The boys walk out to their real car, relieved. They drive it back to the student parking lot. Suddenly, they hear a thump in the trunk. STU I think thats Doug! PHIL Doug, hang on, were coming! They lift the trunk, and CHINESE MAN pops out and does crazy stuff and then runs inside the building. PHIL What the-? INT. SMITHS ROOM - CONT. The boys wander back into Smiths room, trying to figure out a new plan to find the yearbook and Doug. In the meantime, they find MIKE TYSON in the room. PHIL Mike Tyson? MIKE I think you have my jaguar. ALAN What are you doing here? Youre not young enough to be a student. MIKE I went to this school when I was younger. ALAN But I thought this school was only 12 years old... MIKE You calling me a liar now? ALAN No, I just... Mike punches Alan, and the boys see if hes alright.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

8.

MIKE Therell be a car in a back. Meet me there with the jaguar in an hour...or else. Mike leaves. STU What are we going to do? ALAN I have an idea. Give me your peppermints. Stu gives jaguar peppermints. ALAN And now we wait... INT. CHORUS ROOM - CONT. Stu performs the jaguar song. The jaguar is seen wheeled off to the back door in a shopping cart. Suddenly, the jaguar wakes up. PHIL Just close the door, close the door! Leave it! Its not our problem anymore! They shut the door quickly. Phils phone randomly starts ringing. STU Maybe its Doug! PHIL Hello? CHINESE MAN (V.O.) I have yo friend. You want him? You bring me back my satchel. PHIL What are you talking about? CHINESE MAN (V.O.) You took my satchel at poker last night. I want it back.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

9.

PHIL But this is Alans satchel. CHINESE MAN (V.O.) No, we traded not knowing it. Come to track field and we switch. The man hangs up. EXT. TRACK FIELD - CONT. The three walk out to meet Chinese Man. CHINESE MAN Where the satchel? PHIL We want Doug first. CHINESE MAN No, you give me satchel first. And then I give you Doug. ALAN Whats in this that you want so bad anyways? CHINESE MAN My lucky socks. I have track meet today. Satchel I got last night had crap inside! ALAN They were skittles!!!! Chinese Man snatches his satchel. CHINESE MAN (clapping) Here is your friend. Chinese Man and HIS TWO WING MEN split apart from their row stance. A man tied up in the back is revealed. STU Wait, thats not Doug...hes not... CHINESE MAN Oh well! Chinese Man and his crew runs away.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

10.

OTHER DOUG Alan, what did you get me into? PHIL Alan, you know this guy?? OTHER DOUG Yeah, this is the guy that sold me those Pixie sticks! STU WHAT?? WHERE IS DOUG?? WHERE ARE THE YEARBOOKS??? WHAT IS GOING ON?? IM TIRED OF THIS! OTHER DOUG Im Doug. STU But youre not our Doug. Phil is off in a phone call. OTHER DOUG You know I was thinking, I dont see why Pixie sticks arent called Goundie sticks. You end up on the ground; its not like you act like a pixie and fly on the roof. STU Wait, Phil! I know where Doug is! Stu tackles Phil. EXT. ROOF - CONT. The three look for Doug on the roof. ALL THREE Doug? Doug?? STU There he is! Stu runs to a very sun SCORCHED DOUG (he looks very, very dark now). STU Wake up, buddy. Wake up.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: SUN BURNT DOUG Uhhh what? Sun Burnt Doug and Stu stand up. PHIL Looks like you got some color there, buddy. ALAN Youre well roasted. Sun Burnt Doug attacks Phil. SUN BURNT DOUG You left me on this rooooof!!!! STU Doug, Doug, look, we have bigger problems. We cant find the yearbooks. Where are they? SUN BURN DOUG Theyre right there. You left them with me. A box of yearbooks are seen off to the side. PHIL Is our prank still in there?

11.

They open a yearbook. A picture of Mrs. Smith is inside saying, "Buy a yearbook during all three lunches on Friday. Only $85!". PHIL Yes! Now lets go give them to Smith! INT. SMITHS ROOM - CONT. They deliver the books back to SMITH. MRS. SMITH Good, I was getting worried! They sit down in their seats, and Alan pulls out an iPhone from his pocket. ALAN Woah, I think these are from this weekend.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

12.

PHIL No way! Let me see! DOUG Ok, we look at this once and then delete them. STU Nobody better Facebook these.... CUT TO: A slide show of pictures from that weekend appear. Credits roll.