My Singapore

diary
Mei Ling
Entry 1: August 1941
Life in Singapore is peaceful, though I
know we are not rich. I work as a seamstress
in a tailor shop in Chinatown, sewing elegant
cheongsams for wealthy customers. Business is
steady, and my family manages to get by. We
live in a small shophouse, with neighbors so
close we hear every bit of gossip. I enjoy our
simple meals together, sharing stories and
laughter as we eat bowls of steaming rice with
salted fish and vegetables. The streets are
always lively—hawkers shouting, rickshaws
rattling by, children playing in the alleys. The
British rule Singapore, and though they are
distant figures in our lives, they make grand
promises of protection. They call this place the
‘Gibraltar of the East,’ an impenetrable
fortress. I should feel safe. But rumors of war
grow louder. My father has been stockpiling
rice and dried goods, just in case. Some
neighbors say it is paranoia, but I am not so
sure.
Entry 2: December 1941
War is no longer a distant whisper. The
attack on Pearl Harbor has shaken the world,
and the Japanese have begun their invasion of
Malaya. There is talk that they may come for
Singapore. The British still insist that we are safe,
that their defenses will hold. But fear lingers in
my heart.
My father has started making escape plans. He
says if the worst happens, we must flee. But
where would we go? This is our home. How can
we abandon everything we know?

Entry 3: February 1942

I do not know if I have the words to describe
what has happened. The British are gone. The
mighty fortress of Singapore has fallen,
surrendering to the Japanese in mere days. How
could they leave us so easily? Weren’t they
supposed to protect us? I had believed in them.
Now, we are alone.
The streets are eerily quiet. The Japanese
call this place ‘Syonan-to,’ the ‘Light of the South,’
but it is a time of darkness. Fear fills every home.
We must bow to soldiers in the streets, speak
carefully, and never meet their eyes. The once-
bustling city feels dead. Food is rationed. We are
given small amounts of rice, sometimes only
tapioca or sweet potatoes. My father’s stockpile is
disappearing fast.
My older brother, Jian,
has disappeared. He was
taken during the Sook Ching
massacre. The Japanese
accused many Chinese men of being anti-Japanese
and rounded them up. My father was released
after questioning, but Jian never returned. My
mother weeps every night. We have no body to
bury, no closure—only silence and pain.

Entry 4: September 1943

I have taken work as a servant in the home
of a Japanese officer’s wife. It is humiliating, but
I must survive. I bow low, I obey, I speak little. I
have learned enough Japanese to avoid
punishment, but I dare not look them in the eye.
Hunger is constant. The once-plump children in
the neighborhood have become skin and bone.
People barter precious jewelry for a
handful of rice. The ‘banana money’ the
Japanese print is worthless. Even sickness
is dangerous now. There are no doctors,
no medicine—only prayer and old
remedies.
I have seen too much. Soldiers take what
they want, dragging people away in the
dead of night. Young women vanish and
never return. I have learned to be silent.
Fear keeps me alive.

Entry 5: May 1944

I have started helping my mother sell rice
cakes at the market. It is dangerous—Japanese
soldiers patrol constantly, and if we are caught
without proper papers, we could be arrested. But
we have no choice. If we do not work, we do not
eat.
There are whispers of a resistance movement,
people fighting back against the Japanese. My
heart longs to join them, to avenge my brother.
But the risk is too great. If we are caught, my
whole family will suffer.
 Entry 6: August 1945

The war is over.

The Japanese have surrendered. The streets
are filled with cheering, but I cannot bring myself
to celebrate. I have survived, but at what cost?
My brother is gone. My father is no longer the
strong man I once knew. He sits in silence, staring
into nothing. We have lost everything.
The British have returned, expecting us to
welcome them with open arms. But I cannot
forget how easily they abandoned us. How can we
trust them again? They say Singapore will return
to how it was before the war, but nothing will
ever be the same. I am no longer the carefree girl
who sewed cheongsams. The war has changed me.
It has changed all of us.

Entry 7: June 1950

Life is difficult, but we endure. The scars of
war remain, in our streets and in our hearts. My
father has passed away. He never recovered from
the war, from the loss of Jian. My mother and I
continue our business, struggling to make a living.
Singapore is changing. People speak of
independence, of self-rule. The war showed us
that we cannot rely on others. We must take
charge of our own destiny. But the British still
hold power, reluctant to let us go.

Entry 8: June 1955

Singapore is restless. People are speaking of
independence. The war has made us realize that
we cannot rely on foreign powers to protect us.
The British may be back, but we see them for
what they are—rulers who care only for their own
interests.
I have begun attending meetings where people
speak of self-rule. We are tired of being subjects
to others. We must decide our own future. My
father does not understand my passion, but he
does not stop me. He has already lost too much.
 Entry 9: September 1963
Singapore has joined Malaysia, but tensions
are rising. Some say we do not belong, that we
are different. Others say this is the only way we
will be strong. I do not know what the future
holds, but I know that Singapore must find its
own path.

Entry 10: August 1966

It has been one year since Singapore became
fully independent.
Looking back, I wonder how we made it
through the war, through the struggle, through
the years of uncertainty. We have fought for this
moment. The war planted the seed of
independence in our hearts. We could not trust
the British. We could not trust the Japanese. We
could only trust ourselves. And now, Singapore
belongs to us.
I walk through the streets now, and I see a
different Singapore. Not the Singapore of my
childhood, nor the Singapore of war. A Singapore
that is ours. We are no longer a colony, no longer
at the mercy of foreign powers. We are free.
And I know, in my heart, that my brother Jian
would be proud.

This is Mei Ling, signing off.

 Sources:
Lee, G. B. (2005). The Syonan years: Singapore
under Japanese rule 1942–1945. National Archives
of Singapore.
Turnbull, C. M. (1977). A history of Singapore, 1819–
1975. Oxford University Press.
Kwa, C. G., Tan, T. Y., & Borschberg, P. (2019). Seven
hundred years: A history of Singapore. National
Library Board.
National Archives of Singapore. (2017). Surviving
the Japanese Occupation: War and its legacies.
National Library Board.
Singapore History Museum. (2002). Voices of
Syonan: Personal accounts of the Japanese
Occupation in Singapore. Singapore Heritage
Society.
National Library Board Singapore. (n.d.). Japanese
Occupation of Singapore (1942–1945). Retrieved
from https://eresources.nlb.gov.sg/history
Singapore Government. (2020). Sook Ching
Massacre: The darkest chapter of Singapore’s
history. Ministry of Education Archives.
British War Office. (1950). The fall of Singapore: A
military analysis. National Archives UK.
Oral History Department, National Archives of
Singapore. (2010). War memories project: Personal
accounts of life under the Japanese. Singapore
Heritage Society.
Lim, C. (1995). Remembering the occupation:
Personal testimonies from Singapore’s war
survivors. Singapore Press Holdings.