Understanding the differences

I didn’t plan to write THIS post THIS week, but not everything you plan happens. I can’t say that
we fight with my husband a lot, but of course, like in all families, it happens. Maybe more than
in regular couples since we are from different cultures and traditions. We were raised even
differently.

It took time to get used to each other, many compromises that we came too, many tears (mostly
mine since I am an extremely sensitive person and woman) as well as many hours of
conversions. Somebody would say that the situation is not ideal, but who has ideal relationship.
So as I said our family is different. Our cultures, traditions and religion are different but we love
each other. However, fights happen. Sometimes from small things like he didn’t want to try
something I cooked; sometimes from bigger stuff such as bad mood, I didn’t tell him about; and
sometimes from simple misunderstanding since for both of us English is not our native language.
There are many more factors that come into play, including characters, mood, period of time,
tiredness, etc.

Every time we fight, I know that everything will be all right after a while. However, I am not
patient at all and my husband is stubborn. And if he said, it should be his way or no way or other
way but not mine. He is like my father. In Russia we actually have a saying that “girls searching
for husbands who remind their fathers”. And after fights we always order pizza and watch
“Friends”. It is our tradition. I know that this post might be a bit different and my thoughts and
ideas are all over the place without any order. However, that’s what I feel now and I know by the
time it is submitted, everything will be good.

Also, it is fine how my mother in law and my sister in law always calls my husband when they
have fights with their spouses. They always say that in such moments they usually think about
their son and brother and how perfect he is compared to their other half. So my question is WHO
should I call when we have misunderstandings?

And for all my readers who face the same challenges I have a question. How do you deal with
that? Maybe I can get a piece of advice from you. I know that if we didn’t get married or married
somebody else from our cultures, it would’ve been easier, but he is my lofalifu, my babychka
and my malish (all of these are super cute words and they are real..maybe not all of them) and I
cannot understand life without him.

P.S. I promise that I will have a post about our traditions and how different are they in the near
future:)
 What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger
I was so confident. I told everyone around me that with my experience, background and a green
card there will be no problems in the job search process at all. Not even once. Therefore, I had
super high standards. It was 5 months ago.

Today I am desperate. I want to have a job; I need to have a job. I applied for more than a 100
positions. My father said that if I don’t find a job soon I will end up having a mental disorder.
My husband told me that if I don’t find a job soon I will need to work in a mall or supermarket.

Unfortunately, nobody gives any feedback. I know that some companies are huge and most
people are really busy. However, a one or two sentenced feedback is possible. I would love to
hear what actually I did wrong or what made them say no. But most of the companies don’t even
bother to call or send an email. They just disappeared. I had 5 companies on my list, which
actually asked me to follow up with them last Friday. I did, they didn’t answer. Just silence.
Sometimes I feel that there is no place for me on the job market. For many companies I have a
lack of experience, for others I am over qualified. Some of them count my Russian background,
some of them not. There is no middle.
Another challenge is people around you. People who don’t know me are trying to help People
who knows me…not really. People who have connections don’t want to help. People who have
no connections are trying to do at least something. For me, I appreciate all help. however, I want
to achieve everything by myself, but it starts to be difficult. I feel a lot of pressure from myself,
relatives, and the situation overall.

You need to start somewhere and I agree. I will not give up and will fight till I find a job. I
understand and can see that there are many like me on the job market. I want to wish all of you to
be yourself and don’t put high standards. Get a chance to show yourself and what you can do and
I believe you will achieve everything!
 Let’s Start
This is my 3rd blog and, hopefully, last. I am at that point of my life when I am looking for a
long-term relationship with everything. I get married and get my green card, which is long-term.
I am looking for a job and I also prefer long-term permanent job rather than contract. I decided
that it is time to get back to blogging and I want to make it work.

Why 3rd blog? There is a logical reason. I used to live in Russia so I had a blog in Russian
language which doesn’t make much sense now. After that I had to have a blog as an assignment
for a course at University of Tampa and since I also had the internship and took 4 courses in
total, i didn’t have much time to continue which makes me a bit sad. You will probably ask (or
probably not) why now? Firstly, I love writing and I feel that I write better than speak
sometimes. I love writing since 1st grade when we had to prepare a small book about winter. We
needed to write something and draw and add poems or anything about winter. I didn’t want to
add somebody’s works so I wrote everything that was on my mind. I created a several stories
about winter and voila my parents were asked to come to school (I was 7 years old) because my
teacher thought that I lied since there were no references. She tried to find hard where I copied
the stories from but she couldn’t. Second and I guess the most important reason is my future job
which hopefully waiting for me around the corner. Since my major is advertising,
communications, PR, IMC and marketing apparently I have to have a blog and have an
experience with WordPress. I didn’t know. Nobody told us. If I knew I would’ve done it a long
time ago. So here we go.

I am not sure right now how my blog will look like and what I am going to write about and even
how regular but I will do my best to be on schedule. Welcome to all my future readers! I hope
you will enjoy!
 How all these happened?
My friend told me that the previous post was really sad and I promised him to write about the
advantages of marriage. But let me start with my story and how it all happened. One day they
would make a movie about me:) Today I will tell you a short version.

One day, long, long time ago (maybe, it was 2009 or 2010) my father told me that he wants me
to study abroad for masters. At that time, I wasn't that excited about his plans because I was in a
relationship, working and having a perfect life in Russia. The idea of living for at least a year in a
different country wasn't attractive. During my senior year in university my relationship failed.
The situation was awful and I needed a change so I decided to go to the USA for a couple of
months. I really enjoyed it even though I wasn't in a very "fun" state (but this this different story
which I would call "Jane in North Dakota"). When I came back to Moscow I was 100% sure that
I want to study abroad for master's.

In August 2013 I arrived in Tampa, Florida and started my way there. It was difficult sometimes,
sometimes very difficult, but always fun and interesting. The biggest challenge was to be apart
from my family. I always miss them and wish that Russia and USA are closer to each other. In
2014 I firstly met my future husband and he told me that we will never be together because it is
impossible. He kept saying it to me for almost 6 months hahaha. However, I am a stubborn
person. The God decided differently and in 2015 (after 8 months) we already get married. And
this path wasn't easy also since everyone was against us in the beginning. I am very happy now
and I am glad I met him and we are together. However, he knows that if it is not him I would've
been out of this country long time ago because it is always easier and more comfortable in the
country where you was born and around your family and friends.

So now I am like in the song "I am an English man in New York" by Sting. The only differences
I am a Russian lady (I wanted to say woman, but for me the word woman sounds old and I am
not) in Tampa.

That was a short, extremely short version of what happened and how I became a wife. This post
will lead us to the next chapter which I will write about this week also and which will talk about
the advantages of the marriage.