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ENGINEER
CUTE BOY:
CHARMING &
SWEET

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INDEX
INDEX 2
SYNOPSIS 3
CHAPTER 00: INTRODUCTION 4
CHAPTER 01: HOW TO COMPLETELY GET RID OF MEMORIES 10
CHAPTER 02: SOMEONE CRAZIER THAN FAIFAH IS FAIFAH TOMORROW 27
CHAPTER 3: IS THAT YOU, FAIFAH? ARE YOU NOT A GOOD BOY? 46
CHAPTER 04: BIG LITTLE WINE CHAPTER 65
05: DID YOU CHANGED OR DID SOMEONE CHANGE YOU? 86
CHAPTER 06: CAN'T FIND THE MIDDLE GROUND? 106
CHAPTER 07: THE BAR PEOPLE'S SURPRISE CHAPTER 08: 124
HEY, I'VE GROWN UP! 144
CHAPTER 09: WHAT DO LOVERS DO? 166
CHAPTER 10: I GO WHEREVER YOU GO CHAPTER 11: 186
LOVE DOESN'T DEPEND ON LUCK CHAPTER 12: MANOP'S 207
DREAM COME TRUE CHAPTER 13: FELLOW SHIRTS AND 226
PRETTY ENGINEERING TOTE BAGS 245

CHAPTER 14: THE LIFE OF MR. BRIGHT IN A NUTSHELL 267

CHAPTER 15: I WANT TO KNOW, BUT I DON'T WANT TO ASK CHAPTER 16: 290
CRAZY MOMENTS OF LOVE CHAPTER 17: I SMILE AND 312
LAUGH ALONE CHAPTER 18: GREAT LOVE 333
COMES WITH GREAT COURAGE 352
CHAPTER 19: ENGINEERING MAKES US FALL IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER 373

MINI SPECIAL: THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOTHA AND FAIFAH 401

SPECIAL 1: WHO EXACTLY IS YOUR SON? 403
SPECIAL 2: WHAT DO LOVERS DO? 423
SPECIAL 3: SUPER CUTE MANGOSTEEN 437
SPECIAL 4: TURNING A CRISIS INTO AN OPPORTUNITY 457
SPECIAL 5: THE ALTERNATE UNIVERSE OF WISAWA AND FAIFAH 475

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SYNOPSIS
My name is Wine Wisawa, I am a homebody with a boring life.

I'm on a mission to forget my ex-girlfriend.

One day, I met a man identical to my mentor.

He's so brilliant he could have stolen everyone's joy for himself.

He leads me to learn new things, always calling me "Cutie Wine".

Dear Arunothai... I found someone who made me forget you.

From now on, I will only remember your smile and kindness.

That man is... Faifah.

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CHAPTER 00: INTRODUCTION

"Before the interview, we would like you all to wait quietly. If you want to make friends,
please lower your voices so as not to interrupt the interview."

At the request of the eldest, all the high school students in the area remain silent.

Fortunately, I had the opportunity to make new friends before we moved to the area in front of
the interview room. However, there was one person who was different from the rest.

His name is Warat, a boring boy who goes home after school. He's indecisive, hesitant, and dependent due
to the intensive care he receives from his family. He never does laundry, irons, washes dishes, or cooks;
he's incapable of even preparing a simple dish like an omelet.

Warat has four siblings, and to this day, he remains the worst of the children. His ultimate goal is to take
advantage of his parents until his dying day. Furthermore, a girl abandoned him a month ago.

If you think this man's life sucks, I'm sorry to tell you there's something worse. The Warat guy
I'm talking about is...

...I.

"Wow, look at you. Mr. Warat, are you still alive or are you decomposing?"

The low, familiar voice, with a slightly raspy tone, floats through the air. The silence is broken
when someone sits down in the empty chair next to me. I snorted at the noise pollution and
looked at the guy in resignation.

Aside from being an extremely peculiar person like me, my best friend is equally strange.

"Corpses can't fucking talk," I whisper, unable to stop myself from sneering despite my
willingness to be polite.

Our last meeting was at the beginning of the month. We met with other friends to check the
admissions results together. After learning we'd all been accepted, we enjoyed the school
holidays separately as we pleased before I met up with him today.

"It's a relief that you're as irritable as ever. You've lost a lot of weight since last time.
Eat," he says worriedly, although his face seems mocking.

"Eat what?"

"That's why you're an idiot"

"Yes, I am, but not as much as you."

"I'm not fazed by something like that, you stupid idiot."

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"Ugh, by the way, where have you been? Half of us have already been interviewed." I
change the subject, ignoring her comment.

"I was pooping. You know I poop when I'm nervous."

"Good thing you can handle it without bothering anyone."

"I'm not going to bother you, Warat. You can't even handle things on your own."

Son of a bitch!

Without bothering to respond, I let the silence do its work as I recalled my situation before
graduating from high school. My joyful high school life ended with a goodbye a few days after
the entrance exam results were announced.

Many couples can maintain long-distance relationships. On the other hand, Toey, my ex-
girlfriend, doesn't like it. Since we were accepted to different universities, we spend less time
together. I guess love alone isn't enough.

But let me tell you, I don't regret anything!

"What are you thinking?" my best friend asks. I shake my head.

"Nothing"

"Are you thinking about Toey?" He knows.

"No"

"Not even the dogs would believe your lie"

...Well, all right. I admit I lied.

"Some people are like cigarettes: smoking them gives pleasure, but quitting them is painful."

"What the fuck is that quote?"

"Ah"

"What?! You're an idiot!" she scolds me instead of comforting me. "Besides, you don't smoke.
Take a good look at yourself before trying to act coldly.

"Can't you just leave me alone? I'm suffering."

"Stop overreacting"

I sniff at my best friend's comment and hold his gaze...

"Time is up and you must go, but the feeling that lingers in my heart is the longing you
are unaware of¹~"

¹Can Only do this for 25Hours.

"I don't think you're heartbroken. You're just dramatic."

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"You're supposed to comfort me, not make fun of me."

He barks at me like he hates me, which makes me wonder if he loves me or not. The thought
tears me apart. We were inseparably close in high school, and yet we got into the same
department in college.

"Next, Mr. Warat Aunarun. Please enter the interview room."

"..."

"Warat?"

"Wine"

"Hey?"

"She's calling your name. Are you going to study here or not?"

As I lose myself in memories and our enduring friendship, my best friend hits me on the head
with his rough hand, scattering my train of thought. I look around and stand up when I notice
the staff member's gaze. I straighten out my clothes, preparing for this important battle.

The first image is what I imagined. I enter the interview room occupied by three professors.
They may look young, but I feel a torrent of questions coming at me. After practicing how to
answer academic questions, I think I'll be able to handle it without any problems.

"Take a seat"

The battle drum resounds in my ears. I swallow and settle into my chair in silence.

"Please introduce yourself. Feel free to explain why we should accept you."
the bespectacled teacher suddenly begins, and I answer without thinking.

"H... Hello, I'm Warat Aunarun. Although I changed my name."

"Hmm?" He frowned, puzzled. Without wasting a second, I handed him a document from my
folder and moved my briefcase from my lap to the table.

"I changed my name last week"

"What was the reason?" The older man looked at the paper in silence. "How is Wisawa²
better than Warat?"

² 'Wisawa' is short for 'Wisawakammasart', which means engineering.

"I promised to change my name to that of the department if they accepted me, and I did."

"Our students' names are getting weirder every year," the teacher says, apparently
addressing the man next to him rather than me. The atmosphere is more relaxed, and their
laughter soothes my nerves.

"What were the other names of the last few years?"

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"Anon, a man without debt."

"And Kunyukol means two ears"

Oh... those are strange. My name sounds normal compared to them.

"Sorry. You can continue. We're listening," I was startled by the abrupt end of their
conversation. They turned their attention back to me.

"I had always dreamed of studying engineering, and this had been my dream university since high
school."

"But our university is your last option."

Let me bang my head against the damn wall!

"Oh, I actually wanted her to be my first choice," my voice trailed off. "But my mom
expected me to go to the closest colleges."

"I see." One of the teachers nods and writes something on his piece of paper. At that moment,
the teacher on the right fills the silence.

"Warat".

"It's Wisawa" Why do I correct him?

"Okay, Wisawa, are you ready to be interviewed?"

"Yes... I am." His serious demeanor takes my breath away. This has to be the hardest part of
the interview. I'm afraid it'll be a failure like the last love I couldn't keep.

Please~ May all the merit and holy spirits protect me.

"What's your favorite subject?" The first question is a no-brainer.

"All"

"Choose one."

"C...Can I choose two?"

"You're a negotiator. Very well! Give us two."

"I like math and computer science." I'd better prove my point as a computer science student,
despite my uncertainty about my abilities.
Currently, my interview points might be below zero, but I can't help but spit out answers to their
sudden questions, without having much time to think.

"Studying engineering is hard. Almost half of the students drop out each year.
"Do you think you'll do well?" the other teacher asks immediately after the first question.

"I'll be fine, no doubt." No matter how exhausting it is, my friends will suffer with me.

"What would you do if you got an F in the first semester?"

"I don't have a backup plan, but I doubt I'll get an F."

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"You're incredibly confident, considering your admissions score," he murmurs. Every

word hurts so much my heart aches. "What are your strengths and weaknesses? Don't
hold back. Just tell us."

"My strength is that I'm a bookworm."

"Some things cannot be learned from books."

"Someday an answer will appear in a book." What the hell is wrong with me, always
blathering on in a critical situation? They're probably seeing my attitude as absurd.
"And my weaknesses..."

My lips begin to pout little by little.

"I'm not good at English. I have no leadership skills. I'm indecisive, so I tend to let others
lead me." That's what my ex-girlfriend said, probably for a stronger reason than distance.

You see? I get tears in my eyes with just a little encouragement.

"Are you so afraid of us that you're crying?" The question makes me lift my head to look
into their eyes.

"No, it's just that..."

"It's like having a broken heart."

Whoa! How did he know?

Is he psychic? My head is flooded with questions. Instead of answering or denying it, I nod
steadily, and my body reacts faster.

Teachers, I can't hold back my human tears. The world is terribly cruel.

"The thing is..."

"It's okay. You don't have to tell us," he stops me before I can open my heart.

"But, even with these weaknesses, I promise I will improve during my time here."

"That's nice to hear, Warat."

"W...Wisawa"

"Sorry, sorry," the professor says with a dry laugh. "The candidates are usually given a
problem to solve, but I think you've had enough of these exams. I have one more
question: What do you expect from here?"

Damn. Since I've only prepared for academic questions, this open-ended question surprises
me. As someone who's never stepped out of line or done anything for myself, my only
expectation is...

"I hope to do things I've never done."

"I see. And what are those things?"

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"Cooking, doing laundry, washing dishes, sweeping the floor, and..."

"That's enough. Those tasks require advanced skills. Well, I can feel your determination."
Why are you laughing so hard? I'm confused.

After writing something on their sheets of paper, they look at me, pause, and speak in a thoughtful tone of
voice.

"You've had a lot of experiences in high school, but this is your first step into college.
Don't dwell on the past. You'll experience more things than you ever expected during
your time here."

"Really?" I ask excitedly, my eyes wide open.

"Ask your superiors if you don't believe us."

"Does that mean I passed?"

"It's not confirmed yet. Wait for the announcement."

"Thank you very much. I'll study hard and do my best."

"Wait for the announcement first."

"I won't let you down."

"Wait for the announcement first."

"Thank you, teachers."

"Ugh. Send in the next one. I'm going crazy."

Amid the sighs and the sick expressions of the teachers, my heart leaps with joy. I'm seeing the light at the
end of the tunnel, and it's the new Warat Road, which has been renamed Wisawa.

The way to erase the old love from my heart.

And I will enter a completely new world...

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CHAPTER 01: HOW TO GET RID

COMPLETELY OF MEMORIES
Move-in day can only be described one way: chaos breaks out. There are engineering
students from other majors besides ours. The number of first-year engineering students is
three times greater than that of other departments, and we've been scheduled to move into
the dorm on the same day. It's terribly hectic for our parents.

My parents helped me organize some of my things before I left. Now, my roommate and I
are standing in the middle of the enormous amount of stuff, not knowing where to start.

"Wine"

"That?"

"I thought I brought a lot of stuff, but yours are worse. Can we sleep tonight?" Since
this place didn't specify roommates, my best friend and I decided to stay together.

"Shut your mouth. I saw your mom hire a moving truck to move your things straight
to the bedroom, J."

"Don't just call me J. I've debuted as a college student. From now on, call me... JJ."

"Genjob¹? Good."

¹ Jenjob means well-informed.

"Says someone who changed his name from Warat to Wisawa. Idiot!"

I'm so furious I almost threw my laundry basket in his face. I can't imagine how crazy our
lives will be all year long. We've been fighting with each other since day one.

Our friendship dates back to high school. We basically grew up together. In addition to our
similar lifestyles, we were the same height.

Unexpectedly, when we met again after the long school break in ninth grade, he grew
incredibly taller than me—more than 180 centimeters. He also became more and more
handsome every day. Wherever we went, he would be the center of attention. Damn, I
can't help but feel annoyed. He's my friend, though. There's nothing he can do to prove he
was born attractive.

One problem is his personality. This guy isn't cool at all.

"Let's stop fighting. My head hurts." I never win an argument with J. It's better to just
wave my white flag.

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"Who'd like to fight you?" J scans the room before breaking the silence again. "Did you bring this stuff?
You could have gotten it at college."

"They're important. My mom told me to bring them all so I wouldn't have to buy new
ones." In addition to my basic necessities, there's a notebook that explains how to live as
a student in a university dorm.

"What is that withered thing? An old religious garland?" J points to the meaningful
object on my bed, increasing my irritation.

"Fix your eyes. This is the flower Toey gave me on Valentine's Day."

"Ha, why did you bring him here?"

"I missed her..." My voice trails off. I still hold on to all the memories we shared despite
our breakup.

"You said you would move on"

"Don't make a big deal out of it. Moving isn't as easy as moving house."

"Have you seen Happy Old Year?" my best friend asks. I frown, puzzled.

"Yes. What's up with that?"

"They say you should throw away what you don't need. You don't need anything related to
Toey anymore."

Do you understand the concept of beautiful memories?

"Ugh, maybe they're not beautiful to her."

"As long as she's single, I think we have a chance to get back together." It may seem
like a dream, but we all live with hope.

"Instead of waiting to get back with the girl who dumped you, you should find
someone new." J shakes his head and turns his attention to organizing the huge piles of
our things on the floor, completely ignoring me.

Whatever people say, my relationship shouldn't be dismissed. We'd been dating for a year. When she was no
longer in my life, the emptiness felt overwhelming. I'm sure that when I think of her, a small part of her must be
thinking of me too.

Trust me...

Toey Arunothai in a relationship with Oooke Pattarapong

The spark of hope that was awakened a few days ago has faded. The question is...

Who is this Pattarapong?

I don't cry or sob, but who would say my heart is crying pathetically?

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I didn't expect to wake up on the first day of school to a shockwave so violent my whole body
ached. My hand trembles as I grip the phone, trying my best to contain the storm of emotions I
feel inside.

Still, my attempt cannot escape J.'s sharp gaze.

"Wisawa, you look sad..."

"I'm fine." But the basil-fried beef in front of me is about to be bathed in tears.

"I told you to keep going."

"How do you know how I feel?"

"In case you forgot, I'm Toey's friend on Facebook. I saw he's dating Pattarapong."

"Don't say that name. Don't do it!"

"Pattarapong is a very handsome boy."

"If you say one more word, I'll kick your ass." I have no idea when they started dating or who
that man is, but I know my hope of getting back with her is ruined.

"Come on," my best friend pats me on the shoulder with his large hand, his unusually serious eyes surprising
me. "Don't cry over lost love. Watch my mouth closely."

"Yes, yes."

"Move on²" His voice echoes in my ears and I repeat those words.
²
J speaks in English. (Continues)

"Is it still going?"

"Yeah."

"What does that mean?"

"Ugggggggh, that means fuck you, son of a bitch!"

Our upperclassmen say the freshmen won't have much time to do anything other than attend
classes and participate in activities, but the packed schedule starts next week. To distract me, my
best friend Jenjob offers to create ways to comfort me.

Whether it's a book on how to forget someone and move on or a podcast from a popular channel
about casual stories to ease my pain, nothing helps me forget her. I've tried several methods, but
nothing works. Why isn't forgetting someone as easy as forgetting all your lessons for exams?

Fortunately, I have my best friend to guide me. The mission to overcome her has begun.

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Step 1: Discard all unnecessary things.

"Throw it in the trash."

"But Toey gave me this stuffed animal for my birthday."

"Donate it then." I hate myself for being reluctant even with my friend's help.

"Okay, I'll donate it. And the flower..."

"Throw it!"

"Our couple photo?"

"Burn it."

"Your number..."

"Delete her from your phone, Facebook, Instagram, everything. You'll miss her when you see her.
. What hurtful words. J is so cold to my ex-girlfriend.
"Put it out by the roots"

"But you can remain friends even after breaking up."

"Wow, idiot, Toey doesn't even want to be your friend. She deleted you from Facebook
a few days after the breakup, but you sent her a friend request."

"Shit."

"Look at my mouth carefully."

"Again?"

"Yeah... Keep going ." I hate those words.

"I know."

"Good job. Look at my mouth again."

"Enough!"

Why do I have to look at his mouth so often?

When you date someone, you make memories and exchange sentimental gifts. My teenage love began and
ended as quickly as the wind. Before I knew it, the objects I once held dear became the things I most wanted
to throw away from my life.

The movie tickets, the dusty, wilted flower, the cute birthday card, and the weird stuffed
animal I said was fucking adorable. Now I'm growling about how terrifying it looks. I stuff
them all into a box before my tall friend tapes it shut and drags it out of the room.

Goodbye, Arunothai. I'm never dating a girl with that name again.

Step 2: Spending time with my friends.

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Besides JJ, another good friend of mine is studying the same degree and lives next door.
His name is Ben, a chubby guy. He's very popular and has a large following on his YouTube
channel. His impressive content is mukbang.

I was stunned to discover that her video had hundreds of thousands of views, even though
she was just nibbling on chicken wings. When I watched it, my mouth watered.
I got hungry to the point where I ran out to eat fried chicken.

I'm going to forget about everything and focus on today's feast.

"Hi, I'm Benjie and I have a surprise for you. Today, my two friends are going to eat
noodles with me. Introduce yourself."

The live broadcast started after he set up the camera. I feel awkward because it's my first
time, but I'll keep fighting.

"Hi, I'm Wine."

"I'm JJ. Nice to meet you all."

The comments flood me like rain. My eyes pop out of my head when I try to read them, but
I find they're all talking about Jenjob. I'm sick of this. It sucks to have a good-looking friend.

I dive in before the signal even sounds. The noodles are hot and delicious. Our bowls are
as big as basins. We have to finish them before our stomachs swell.

"Slurp~ This is spicy," I say, wiping the sweat from my forehead. The handsomest of us
is slurping the broth with wide eyes, while Ben enjoys his meal in a relaxed manner.

I guess that's the advantage of eating: you focus on the food in front of you without thinking
about anything else.

"Is there anything to drink?" Jenjob asks. I nod quickly in response.

"Ben, do you have anything to drink?"

"Here you go. Sponsored by the bedroom store. Let me show you the packaging."

"..."

"This is the refreshing juice of Bai Toey (pandan) ~"

"Shit!"

J exclaimed loudly, and my noodles nearly popped out of my nose. Out of all the millions of
drinks out there, why did he choose Bai Toey juice...?

I came close. I came very close to forgetting her. In the end, I can't stop thinking about her
after remembering that familiar name.

Step 3: Get out of my comfort zone.

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"It hurts... It hurts my heart."

"How dramatic. Come on! Let's do something new. It might help."

"No." I'm rotting in bed. I don't go out much after school; I'm a homebody who's content to relax at home.

"Let's go eat. Come on, stop wasting time. Ben texted me an hour ago."

Unable to resist his powerful persuasion, I walk to the new restaurant next to the university despite myself, with
my best friend watching over me like a mother.
I sit sadly in a chair.

"What do you want to eat?" they both ask excitedly about the menu. "Pork fried rice?"

"Waaaaaaah." Tears come to my eyes at the mention of the dish.

"What the fuck, dude?"

"Toey loves pork fried rice and is no longer in my life."

"Shit! Then get something else."

After searching the menu and avoiding my ex-girlfriend's favorite dishes, we came to a conclusion.

"Auntie, pork with three garlic and pepper and rice, please," Ben orders loudly and clearly.
The lady with the apron and spatula immediately looks at us with a frown.

"There is no food for anyone who calls me aunt!"

"Boo, sister, can we have three pieces of garlic and pepper pork and rice, please?"

"Of course, children," her voice suddenly changes. The brazen woman is absolutely right.

"Don't worry. We'll make you forget about Toey."

"Yeah."

They show understanding again for the hundredth time that day. To lighten the load, I pretend to take their
words seriously even though I barely understand anything.

"What do you think about this? Let's watch a movie after lunch."

"Can you tell me what my flaws are that Toey didn't like?" I ask, which has been bothering me for a long
time, without answering that question. Shortly after, Jenjob sighs and slaps me on the back so hard I nearly
choke on the water I'm drinking through a straw.

"There's no point in reasoning with someone who doesn't love you anymore. No matter how good you
are, it's no use if they don't love you."

"That's sadder than describing my flaws in two pages."

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"You have to keep fighting."

"Fight against whom?"

"My foot."

At least I have my friends and one of their feet to comfort me and help me fill my
stomach and keep going.

At half past seven we set off.

Ben comes from a wealthy family. He's the only one of us who owns a car.
We depend on it when we travel and pay for gas separately.

We get in his car and before buying the movie tickets on the app, he puts on Moonlight
from 92914, which automatically makes me cry.

"This song is great. I like Okinawa too."

"Wine, inhale and exhale deeply." J pats me conspiratorially on the shoulder. The
car owner, distracted, hums the song contentedly.

"What the fuck is wrong with you guys?"

"This band..." Wait a minute. Don't be weak. "It's Toey's favorite band.
"Waaaaaah".

"Shit, I'm changing the song right now"

"Forgive me. I'm still hurt."

I feel bad because my friend has to change the song for me. Oh, but it seems like he's messing with me, since
the following playlists consist of 92914 songs.

...All of them.

Step 4: Fear will make you stop thinking about her.

It's been a while since I've been to an amusement park. The last time was probably
during a high school trip. To my surprise, my two friends dragged me to this place on
Saturday.

"Think of Toey as a roller coaster. It's scary, but you'll soon forget about it."

"Really?" Jenjob's advice makes me a little uneasy.

"Try it. Think of Toey when you get on it."

Fifteen minutes later, I figured it out.

"Toeyyyyyyyyy! Toeyyyyyyyyy!"

I scream my ex-girlfriend's name at the top of my lungs.

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"Ahhhhhhh! Let me go!" My dear friends Ben and J are worse, screaming frantically.

Several lives have been trapped in the fast-paced roller coaster that spins 360 degrees, rises to the top, and
plummets mercilessly. Before I know it, I'm standing on the floor scratching my head while my two friends
vomit.

Toey's still on my mind, but Ben and J have lost their minds. Poor them.

Step 5: Fuck it.

A book of quotes says, "The love is gone, the memories live on," which is absolutely true. That's why you
might as well screw yourself if you can't move on. Stop looking for a way to forget. Trust me. One day, these
feelings will turn into the funniest story of your life.

"I'm excited. What do I do?"

The tall friend runs out of the bathroom, puts on his ironed shirt, and carefully ties his tie for a grand entrance
that leaves everyone stunned. I can't wait to show everyone the photo from yesterday of him throwing up.

"Are you excited? Why are you trying so hard?"

"I have to look good for the mentor selection," he says, waggling his eyebrows at me twice.

"It's just a mentor's choice. Don't be dramatic."

"Look, Wine, there will be students from all ages. You'll steal some hearts if you look good."

"Fine. Whatever you say."

FYI, my friend likes older girls.

"Get ready for your grand entrance. Do you want to wear my perfume? Anyone who smells it will
faint on your chest." Is that perfume or anesthetic, really?

"No, thanks."

She sprays me with her perfume in an instant. Damn, she smells pretty good. Good thing she uses something else, or we

wouldn't be able to tell each other apart. Hehe.

Dun, dun, dun!

It's time to choose mentors! I'm just as excited as J.

First-year engineering students from all majors are gathered in the activity room, surrounded by all the other
seniors from second year onward. The animation team is giving their all, singing, playing, and dancing, even
while the selection process is underway.

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Freshmen are called to the front, row by row, course by course, in alphabetical order of our names. Because
of this, it's impossible to sit with your closest friends.
close ones.

"The next line of computer engineering, please come out."

"Woohoo!"

The skilled MC speaks into the microphone to resounding applause and cheers. J is in that row. People are
talking about him because of his impeccably charming appearance.

And the moment he reaches into the jar of pickled cabbage and the MC announces his team code, the
scream amplifies.

"Jenjob's mentor team code is 0439"

"Daaaaaamn!"

A girl runs away from a group of sophomores. She has short hair with bangs and neither light nor dark skin,
and she's over 150 centimeters tall. Super cute.
Look at J grinning like a madman over there. I told you to hold back. His mentor is exactly his type. Even if
they don't date, he probably feels complete just by being in the same team code as her.

"Next row, get out."

It's finally my turn to try my luck after investing in everyone else's picks.

The drums continue to resonate with my footsteps. When I stop in the middle of the spacious activity room
packed with students, I freeze, not knowing what to do.
I look at the ceiling and listen to what's around me.

"Next, please introduce yourself." The microphone sticks up to my mouth.

Hi, I'm Wisawa. My old name was Warat. You can call me Wine.

"Awww!" They clap with satisfaction. What the hell? My presentation was totally normal.

"How nice. Go ahead, take your chance."

Everyone seems to be more excited than I am.

I grab a small white roll and pass it to the older girl, beginning to understand the sentiment of the Miss
Universe ad.

"Wisawa, the mentor team code is 0682"

For some reason, the applause sounds faint. Since my mentor is nowhere to be seen, the master of
ceremonies announces it again.

"Where is mentor 0682? Your disciple is waiting for you."

"..."

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A silence. Maybe he doesn't have a mentor.

"0682 mentor..."

"Shit, it's the Angel Gear Code."

"Holy shit. Holy shit~"

He appears a few moments later.

The scream sparks my curiosity. When a tall man approaches with a giant garland of marigolds,
the thoughts in my head spin wildly.

Hey, is it possible for someone to be that handsome? He's extremely tall, wearing a navy blue
work shirt and ripped jeans, and his sharp, defined face is cold. He stares straight at me,
imposing and intimidating at the same time. At first glance, I can tell he must be famous in that
department, though I'm not sure in what sense.

"Hi, I'm Yotha, a civil engineering student," she says quietly in front of me. I swear someone
might die from this.

Her face and voice are captivating. The world is unfair.

"Ah... I'm Wine. You can call me Wine, Wisawa, or Warat. I'm a computer engineering
student." It took me a while to find my voice.

"We're glad you're joining our team code."

Did you see your expression when you said that? You seemed fed up with life.

"I'm glad too," I offer a small smile before my mentor places the marigold garland around my
neck, says something, and we return to our places.

Other mentors would say, "See you after this," or "Let's get along," or something along those
lines. Yotha, however, spoke calmly, her face expressionless...

"Skip this and let's eat together."

Ugggggggh, what kind of person are you?

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. See you, Wisarut."

"Ah... Yotha."

"..."

"My name is Wisawa"

Do you remember anything about me? For God's sake!

Despite being told not to participate, I stayed until the activity was over. My mentor also found
the opportunity to introduce me to the other mentors.

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The Angel Gear Code is a lovely team code. Very warm and quite complicated. One of the graduates
always returns to look after their fellow apprentices, so I meet Jet, who's dating my fourth-year mentor,
Yeepoon.
The other graduate, Arc, who will receive the certificate this year, is dating Arm, my third-year mentor.

That's why it's super complicated.

Yotha tells me I'm probably the coolest in the team code. What a relief. I wouldn't know what to do if
there was someone cooler.

Since the other mentors can't attend today's lunch, they give me welcome gifts. When I re-enter the
activity room, the mentor selection process is over, and everyone is leaving. I follow my mentor to a
Japanese restaurant near the university to get to know each other better.

"Ask for whatever you want. I need to make a phone call."

"Okay." I flip through the menu and choose a dish, waiting for Yotha to choose the one.
his.

Who would have thought that the tall guy would come back and walk to another table without saying a word?
I scratch my head in confusion.

A few minutes later, Yotha still hasn't returned to our table, just browsing the menu. I summon the
courage to head over, fearing he's forgotten he brought his classmate here.

"Shall we change tables?" I sit down across from him without waiting for an answer.

The charming guy shifts his gaze from the menu to me, staring at me for a long moment before
answering with an expressionless face.

"Yeah..."

"I chose my plate."

"What is it?"

"Just curry with rice and water."

"Will it fill your stomach? You can choose more ." That would be too expensive. The prices are
brutal here, but it would be rude to refuse their offer.

"Then I'll have a karaoke set too."

"Wow! Can I grab a mic and sing here? It's Karaage."

"Yes, that"

I think this is the first time I've seen Yotha smile, although it's more like she's trying to hold back a laugh.

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"It only has a few pieces of chicken. Order more. Or do you want me to order it for you?"
The moment he looks at me, all my words disappear from my mind. Has anyone ever told
him not to do this to anyone? I could have a heart attack.

"Y...you order."

"How about the tempura? Are you allergic to shrimp?"

I shake my head. Yotha proceeds to order a feast to the point where I can't help but groan.
I can't afford all this.

"Don't ask for too much. I can't finish them."

"It's my invitation."

Wow, I change my mind quickly.

"It's actually not as much as I thought. Ask for more."

"You're shameless."

"I am not"

"Are you sleepy? Your eyes are closing." This is my face, motherfucker.

"No."

"Good. The food here is excellent, with good air conditioning and no mosquitoes."

"Yeah."

"Next time, you don't need to spray mosquito repellent." Noticing my confusion, she
explains, "You used mosquito repellent, didn't you? Lemongrass-scented, right?"
You've discounted the price of that expensive J. Yotha perfume... you're making me look
bad.

"It's perfume, not lemongrass"

"Oh, yeah? We'd like more, please." He changes the subject, unperturbed.

I fight the urge to criticize him, keeping it all in my mind. After a moment of silence,
someone approaches and breaks it. I thought it was a waiter, but I have to rub my eyes a
few times to prove my eyes aren't deceiving me.

Yotha!!

The person standing there is Yotha, as is the person sitting in the chair. Are they twins?
Hey, this is so confusing!

"Are you cheating on my apprentice?" the newcomer begins. I sit silently and look from
side to side between the two of them.

"I didn't do anything. Your classmate came to see me personally."

"Wine" says the other guy as he calls me.

"Are you Yotha?" I look at the person standing there. He hums a reply.

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"Hmm."

"Oh, if you're Yotha, then he is..."

"My little twin"

"... "

"Her name is Faifah"

Shit, I've been chatting with a stranger.

"Hi, Faifah. I'm Wine," I introduce myself immediately.

The puzzling fact today is that Faifah and Yotha are strikingly identical.
You won't be able to tell them apart unless you look closely. And who wouldn't be confused if they
dressed exactly the same? Aside from their appearances, their personalities are the same.

They are handsome, calm and cool, and sometimes smile slightly, which adds to their charm.

"Nice to meet you, Wine. I didn't mean to mislead you. I just didn't tell you the truth."

"That's the same as cheating on me. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Hey, don't be mad. Come on, come on~"

Come on, come on, my ass!

I'm sorry. Let me erase all my previous thoughts. This guy is nowhere near calm or cool.
Watching him make a silly face and wiggle his body in front of me, I'm speechless.

"Your apprentice is speechless, Yotha. Let him sit here. Give us time to clear things
up."

Unconcerned, Yotha pulls up a chair next to me and sits down. We order a few more dishes
before Faifah's companion rushes in, panting.

I'd never seen her before. Considering the number of engineering students, it's impossible to
know everyone. She's tall, with curly hair, and dresses in a modern, hipster style. She
introduces herself as Pin.

Food is served one at a time until the table is full. Everyone chats, but I silently observe the
twins to find their differences.

The first thing that stands out is the marked difference between their personalities. Now that
Faifah has revealed her identity, she's nothing like what she pretended to be.

It's super bright to the point of insanity.

"Why are you looking at me, Wine?" I snap out of my train of thought and focus on the man
in front of me. I hate how Faifah addresses himself as if he were an old man. It's very annoying.

"I don't do it"

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"You do. Are you trying to differentiate us?" He knows. "I'll explain it to you one by one."
one".

"Forward."

"We have a two-centimeter difference in height."

"Two centimeters? Who would notice that? I'm a human being, not a tape measure."

"Hairstyles, then. Can you see the difference?"

"Oh, Yotha's hair looks soft. Yours looks a little rough."

"This brat."

"I'm sorry." My mother said that apologies are the answer to everything.

"I think you can tell our personalities apart. Yotha is usually carefree, cool, calm, and
emotionless. That's why everyone in the department calls him Mr.
Darkness".

"Ooooooh, my mentor is a dark guy."

"Handsome, friendly, generous and he likes to pamper."

"Those are good traits."

"Right? I don't mean Yotha, I mean me."

Erm, let me spit out the chicken.

"What kind of person praises himself like that?"

"Get over it. Faifah is a conceited person," interrupts the boy, who has been silent for a while.
Yotha seems fed up with this, but I guess he's used to it by now. I haven't yet.

"I can tell even from a distance," I add. Faifah responds immediately.

"And you? From a distance I can see you're talking nonsense."

Oh, oh.

"Why are you staring at me with your mouth open? Are you cursing me?"

Oh, oh.

"That's none of your business"

"Okay. Is the karaoke chicken good?"

"Hey, are you playing with me?"

"You're easily provoked. This is fun."

Why is it fun? You're the only one who enjoys it.

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I suppress my frustration as best I can, even though Faifah mocks me every ten seconds.
Once we're done eating and it's time to pay, I hope I can excuse myself to go take some
paracetamol. But I can't.

The twins argue; they both want to pay for the meal. Ugh! Why can't my brothers and I
be like that? By the time they reach an agreement, it's almost 3 p.m.

"My classmate's partner picked her up. I'm feeling lonely. Can I give your classmate
a ride?"

Pin's gone, so now it's just the three of us. I pray Faifah doesn't take me. I'd go crazy.
Unfortunately, luck is never on my side. Yotha's phone rings. When she looks down at
the screen, her twin brother points knowingly.

"There it is. Your love is calling you."

"..."

"Come on, I can take your student for a walk. I'm free."

"Wine." Shit, my mentor is about to drop the bomb.

"Yeah?"

"Who do you want to go with?" Do I have to choose again? Those close to me will
know I don't have the capacity to decide.

"I..."

The guy on the left is Mr. Darkness, and the one on the right is disgusting. Did I commit a
sin in my past life to end up in this situation? Yotha's phone keeps ringing as she waits
for my answer.

If she's your lover, a good person like me won't stand in your way. If I have to choose,
there's only one option.

"I want Faifah to take me home."

"Okay," the older twin replies. The younger twin pinches my cheek and shakes his hips.

"Cutie Wine is the cutest."

Can someone take it away from me? It really bothers me.

With that, my mentor runs off. Faifah and I walk to his car, parked quite far from the
restaurant. I'll rest when I get back to the dorm.

"Faifah, I have a question."

"Ask whatever you want."

"Why do you want to take me?"

"I want to take care of you"

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Wow, others would have fallen in love with him upon hearing those words. Thank goodness
I'm not easily swayed.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. It's a pleasure. Let's go. Although I parked the car quite far away. I
couldn't find a spot here."

"That's ok"

However, in the hundred meters that separate me from his car, many unexpected things
happen that I could never have imagined.

"Oh, Yee, what are you doing?"

"My car broke down, Faifah. I'm waiting for my friend to come pick me up."

"Come with us, I'll take you"

"Really? You don't have to do that."

"We're friends. Let's go."

"Then I'll go with you." The conversation was abrupt. Suddenly, another person joined us
on our journey, but that's not all. A few steps further, we joined another person.

"Hey, Kim, where the hell are you going?"

"I had a fight with my girlfriend. She left me here and walked away. I'm furious."

"Oh, let me take you"

"I've bothered you so many times, Fai. I'll call Grab."

"Why would you waste your time on that? My car is huge. Come with us."

"Are you sure? It's fine. Thank you very much."

No... that's not all. We see another one right after.

"Meow, do you need help? Where are you going?"

Faifah, you bastard. I hate how he keeps saying hi to everyone. Seriously, is that your personal
vehicle or a charity vehicle? Welcome everyone.

"I'm transferring the drum to the student affairs division."

"As?"

"On a bicycle."

"That sounds difficult. I'll take you there. My car is huge."

Take that back!

Back off now! Is your car big enough?

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"Thank you very much, Faifah. Can my friend come too? She has to take the cut-out posters there."

"Come on, come on. My car is really huge."

Your car isn't as big as you say!

Five strangers, with a drum and cut-out posters in the trunk. I imagine myself crammed into
the car and feel like crying. How tragic. Is this what you meant by 'I want to take care of
you'?

Now I've realized. Faifah doesn't just want to take care of me; she wants to take care of
everyone in the world. If there were aliens in space, she would volunteer to help them all.

Okay, now I can tell Faifah and Yotha apart. Faifah is kind, generous, and big-hearted. He
really is. Five people—complete strangers with a connection—know the same guy. And
that guy is smiling behind the wheel.

Dear Arunothai...

I found someone who will make me forget you.

From now on, I, Wisawa, will only remember... his face, his voice, his smile, and his
kindness. No matter how much time passes, I will never forget him. That man is...

...Faifah.

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CHAPTER 02: SOMEONE CRAZIER

THAT FAIFAH IS FAIFAH TOMORROW
Inhale, exhale ~

Inhale... inhale... I can't exhale anymore, fuck.

No one can save me right now. All I can do is complain and curse a certain person in my mind.
If I had decided to go with my mentor, I'd already be resting in my dorm. But I made the wrong
decision and ended up crammed into Faifah's car, which he said was huge.

Who will be responsible for my heart and my feelings?

The driver remains unperturbed, listening to music in his seat. The man who'd been dumped by
his girlfriend occupies the passenger seat. Given his size, he certainly shouldn't be in the back.

As for the back seat, well...

On the left sits a pretty girl. Next to her are the two members of the student union with their
instruments. Fortunately, the drum is in the
trunk, but some of the cut-out posters are stored in the back seat due to limited trunk space.
And me? Almost dead, obviously!

I can't even sit up straight, I have to swivel and squeeze against the window to make room for
all four of us in the back.

"Are you okay, Yee?"

"Yeah."

"And you, Wine? Are you okay?"

"Yes... I am..." Have you ever seen a dried fish? Their eyes bulge out of their sockets and their mouths hang
open, on the verge of death. That's my state before my final moment.

"What's with all the pauses?"

Have you checked my condition in the rearview mirror? If the engine doesn't start in a few
seconds, I'll have to say goodbye to the world soon.

"Faifah... let's go. Start the car... please." I pray my bedroom is the first stop. Before I can
finish thinking, the car's owner announces.

"Let's take Kim home first because her apartment is the closest, then we'll take Meow
and her friend to the student affairs division. May I know your name, Meow's friend?"

"I'm Som¹. Nice to meet you, Faifah," chirps the girl who has been silent.

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¹ Som means oranges

"Nice to meet you too. In fact, I know a lot of Soms. Business Administration Soms. There are about
five Soms from education. We also have a lot of engineering Soms. Dentistry Soms. Pharmaceutical
Science Soms. Nursing Soms," he continues calmly. "Hey, I'm craving oranges now. Can you continue
tomorrow?"

"Well, you know a lot of people."

"You can always ask me. I know everyone on campus."

"What?" I exclaim at his comment, despite my intention to keep my mouth shut. He

knows everyone at the university! Seriously, how many years have you been working at
the civil registry?

"What's up, Sleepy?" the man I've been silently badmouthing challenges me after I
slipped up too hard.

"I'm Wine."

"Okay, Wine. You're last because your bedroom is the farthest away."

Shit~

I'm not about to accuse him of deliberately messing with me, so I accept my fate, stay
quiet, and watch the friendly guy go in and out of different alleys to drop off his
passengers. At least he doesn't open his window to offer further assistance to anyone.
Otherwise, I'd be back at the dorm by two in the morning.

After the last girl gets out of the car, Faifah tells me to get into the passenger seat. I feel
less suffocated now and no longer need to be pressed up against the window. I respect
myself for having endured this for so long.

"Oh, why are you stopping?" Shortly after, the hell twin is up to something again.

Our trip from the restaurant to the bedroom takes as long as the drive from Bangkok to
Nakhon Si Thammarat.

"Let me go get something real quick."

"Sure"

I can't protest as he carries me away. All I can do is accept that everything is falling apart.

Faifah spends some time in the store and returns with a bag full of food. My bewilderment
disappears when she hands me a bottle of water.

"This is..."

"Because of you. You were hot and sweating. I felt really bad."

"Thanks. But it wasn't necessary. I have water in my backpack."

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"It's not cold anymore. Here you go." He hands me something else. "A mineral spray.
The girls love to spray it on their faces because they say it's refreshing."

Wow, I take back everything I said about him earlier. He's not only generous, but he's also thoughtful.

"How much does this cost, Faifah?"

"Don't worry about it. I don't need money for what I bought you. Is the draft cool
enough? Adjust it yourself."

"Alright."

"Good." We set off again. With the music soft and slow, the silence is deafening. I try to
think of a topic to talk to him about, but none comes to mind.
Finally, the cheerful boy breaks the silence.

"Can you give me your number in case something happens?"

"What if I don't give it?"

"Were you influenced by my brother? How arrogant!"

I'm a normal person. You're the only friendly person from another world.

I have no idea what other unexpected trials await me if I give him my number, but it would
be too cruel to refuse. I argue with myself for a while before he hands me his fancy new
phone. I have no other choice.

"Save your number in my phone."

"Well."

"How was school the first week?"

"I didn't do much because classes haven't started yet. The teachers just handed out
the course syllabi."

"What about friends?"

"They're great. Everyone is nice to me."

"Is the food okay?"

"I haven't tried all the dorm cafeteria menus. Some were good.
There were long lines at others. But I enjoyed eating with my friends."

"Everything seems fine. Why do you have such a long face?" I'm not sure if it's because
of my expression or the sadness of my broken heart.

Should I tell this to the man next to me? Well... since it'll take me a while to get to the
bedroom, it wouldn't hurt to tell a sad story to fill the silence.

"The problem is that a girl just dumped me."

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The charming guy abruptly turns his head toward me. I can't understand what his gaze is conveying, and
noticing his silence, I decide to continue. It's time for a memorable date.

"In all my life, I have never been loved"

"How sad," he whispers softly.

"..."

"I mean, you're just too sad. Why the fuck are you being so dramatic?"

"Oh, I thought you were interested."

"Breaking up is normal."

"It's not normal for everyone. It hurts even more when they rush to start over."

"Oh my God." Damn, I regret revealing this to a nasty person.

Noticing my humiliated disposition, Faifah pats me on the shoulder with a grim expression.

"Take me as an example, Wine. I've experienced and suffered more than you."

"Someone abandoned you? Unbelievable."

"Someone did it . " Things are getting serious. Faifah continues driving with a pitiful expression on her
face. Our lives are like the show The Broken Hearts Club.

"How did you get over it?"

"I told the teacher." Ah... I see.

"Wait. When did that happen?"

"In second grade."

"Uggggggh."

"What's going on?"

"Ugggggggggh."

"Why are you angry?"

"Ugggggggggggggh."

"La, la~ La, la~"

The Broken Hearts Club show is over. He doesn't have a broken heart. He's just an idiot...

*****

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"What's wrong? You look upset. I thought you'd be happy to be part of the Angel Gear Code."

The greeting from J, my roommate, makes me sigh deeply. Yotha is cool and all, but his friendly
twin brother, Faifah, is the complete opposite. I can't find the words to describe him.

"Everything was going well until I met my mentor's twin brother."

"Oh, you mean Faifah?"

"How do you know?"

"Everyone knows him, idiot. Where have you been?"

"Oh."

"He's last year's Campus Prince," J says excitedly, but I'm already fed up with
this.

"Who elected him? What a sin for our university!"

"Who could resist God's favorite? Look."

My roommate scrolls through his phone screen for a moment before rushing out of bed and showing me a
picture of someone. It's a photo of Faifah running his fingers through his wet hair with a smile, which has
earned him a lot of comments. "The cute guy's page posted this two days ago. What's he like? He's the
hottest guy around."

"Wooooow, super handsome. But I have a question."

"That?"

"Are you okay in the head?"

"I don't know. There's a fine line between being cheerful and being eccentric."

"I think it's the latter."

"What did he do to you?" My friend tilts his head in confusion. I wish he could experience it
himself to get the answer. Anyway, it's better that no one repeats my fate.

"He's too nice a person," I say, falling onto the bed and looking at my phone to keep up with the
world.

Other first-year students have posted several photos of their Code Gear, with their fellow mentors
smiling brightly. Code Angel Gear, on the other hand, had no one but Mr. Darkness to keep me
company. Since Yotha doesn't like having her picture taken, I have nothing to brag about online.

The thought hurts. I scroll down and come across something unexpected.

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Suddenly, a group of first-year engineering students post photos with someone I know from our last chat. No
matter how much he resembles his twin brother, his expression and gestures scream that he's the friendly
Faifah.

The question is, did you go out and have fun right after we broke up?

But that's not all. I thought it would be just a few people. However, his face took over my timeline. Besides the
girls, the guys are no different, posting with funny captions.

"J, you know Faifah, right?"

"Yeah, sure." My tall friend, with his back to me, glues his eyes to the laptop screen playing a legendary
video game.

"What kind of person is he?"

"How am I supposed to know so much? Find the answer yourself."

"Very useful."

After contemplating it, I go to his Instagram account.

Since he's a well-known figure at the university, his account is public, making it easy to spy on. Although he
doesn't post much (just around 300 photos), he's been tagged a lot!

Photos alone, with a partner, in a group, and all kinds. He went to many places and cafes and toasted
countless people in different bars. I'm no longer sure if he's here to study or to campaign.

"It's like I sucked all of Yotha's energy dry," I mutter to the cute guy in front of me.

"Ugh, not just Yotha. He's absorbing everyone's energy in the world."

"Say it again"

J rarely agrees with me. We've been contradicting each other for years.

I look at all the photos until I'm tired. Ten minutes later, I receive a notification of a video call from an unknown
number. I answer curiously.

"Who is it?" The video on the other end stutters and blurs before suddenly switching to the front-facing
camera.

Holy crap! I was shocked to discover that the person video calling me was Faifah.

I don't know how to react, I'm not prepared to suddenly see her happy face. Unsure where to start, I roll my
eyes while I think and finally find my voice.

"What's happening?"

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[You left something in my car.] Faifah looks down, fumbles for something, and picks
it up. It's a black wallet she's never seen before.

"That's not mine. Maybe it belongs to one of the others you took."

[Oh yeah? Then I'll hang up.]

"Well."

It comes and goes in the blink of an eye. After the call, I processed what had happened
on my own, but a few seconds later, he called me back via video chat.

"Yes, Faifah?"

[I found this book in the backseat. Is it yours?] First there was the wallet. Now, it's
a book of romantic quotes with a pink cover that I've never seen before. I guess it
belongs to one of the passengers she picked up along the way.

"This one isn't mine either. Try calling the others you brought."

[Who else is there? Last week there were only a few people]

Just a few, my ass. We were crammed into your car.

"Are you serious?"

[I don't remember.]

"Maybe your lovers?"

[Lovers, my ass. We're all friends.]

"You're putting a lot of people in the friend zone."

[Of course. A handsome guy like me has multiple zones. There are many in my
sister zone.] I'm going to throw up... [I have a zone for you, a haunting ghost zone.]

"Come on, you're tormenting me too," Faith laughs before getting serious.

[Okay, I'll call the others. Sorry to bother you.] He hangs up. He'll video chat me
back in five minutes. Are you seriously kidding me?

I can't ignore him, I'm afraid he'll act crazy with me.

"Did anyone leave any other things?"

[No, I just forgot to tell you one thing.] I frown as I look at her charming face on the
screen.

"That?"

[Don't forget to save my number.]

"That's all?"

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[Save it with the most special name, like, 'I've never met someone so handsome in
my life.']

Ugh, is that a name or an essay? Be careful with my phone's storage, will you?

"Can I shorten it to 'I've never seen anyone like that in my life'?"

[You cheeky, loud-mouthed brat. Oh, I didn't ask you this.]

"You said something. My time is precious," I exaggerate, making up an excuse to

politely hang up. If our conversation continues, I'll go crazy.

[I won't ask then. You can hang up.]

"W... Wait. Why did you get angry?" It's nerve-wracking to make a wrong move.
I guess that's how you talk to an atypical human. "What's up?"

[Yotha asked me to get your number for her. However, I haven't given it to her. I
need your permission first.]

"He's my mentor. Of course, you can have my number." As expected of a man named
Mister Darkness, he forgot to ask for his apprentice's number.

[Can I give it to someone else if they ask me?]

"Sure."

[You're easy.]

"It's not as easy as giving your number to everyone."

[How do you know?]

"I'm just guessing. You really do that?"

[Exactly. Ask anyone on campus. They all have my number.]

"As expected of you."

[What about me?]

"It's you."

I guess I can only describe it with the phrase 'I've never seen anyone like this,' as I saved
it on my phone.

Yotha contacted me yesterday to arrange a time to hand over last year's class notes. So
J, Ben, and I got up early to have breakfast in the engineering cafeteria.

While we're eating and guessing today's department activity, the damn handsome Mr.
Darkness appears with the most bored expression. I wonder if he's ever laughed or
expressed any other emotions. His image is very well maintained.

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"Hi, Yotha," my friends greet him, hands clasped over their chests and smiling. He nods
and hands me a full white cloth bag.

"Notes and textbooks for you"

"Thank you very much. I never imagined I'd be so fortunate as an apprentice." After
the misfortune I suffered because of a certain person.

"No problem. Let me know if you need anything," Yotha says in her same calm, sweet
voice. Her lover is in luck.

"Well."

We chatted a little longer before he left. Seeing his friends were waiting for him, I didn't ask
him to join us. While I wait for class to start, I review my notes.
Whether he brought all the topics out of love or just didn't feel like throwing them away, they are really useful.

"Hey," I say to the man next to me after a long silence. J answers immediately.

"That?"

Does Yotha also have sweet moments with her lover?

"When you're in love, you do everything. What do you think?"

"Nothing. These messages are so cute."

Jenjob leans forward to read the messages from physics class. Although the page is filled
with text written in blue ink, there are orange messages in one corner. I can tell it's not
Yotha's handwriting and that this person must be special.

'If you get an A in this subject, I'll move into your apartment.'

An answer in blue is just below.

'Pack your bags. You will.'

Her sweetness instantly reminds me of Arunothai. Hey, my life isn't that shabby.
I console myself and look at the textbooks in the cloth bag.

Morning classes end in the blink of an eye. Since we have to go to the science department
for an afternoon class with first-year students from other departments, we head to the
computer cafeteria for lunch.

We left our backpacks on a table and lined up to get our food.

Since I prefer rice to noodles, and rice stands tend to be quick, I head to one of them in the
cafeteria. With no idea which stand has the most delicious food, I choose the one with the
longest line. That says a lot.

I stride forward and stop behind a group of older people. One of them is very tall and in
excellent shape. From behind, I can tell he's attractive.

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"Oh, hello."

Those words escaped my mouth the moment the broad-shouldered person turned around. The person
whose physique I admired at that moment wasn't an unfamiliar face.

It's Faifah. There's something different about him today, something that made me not
recognize him before. His hair color. He used to have jet-black hair like his twin brother,
but he's dyed it smoky gray.

To be honest, I like him in all styles. I'm a little jealous I wasn't born as cool as him!

"Oh, hello!" the unpleasant major shouts, repeating my words, after a brief silence.

"Hey, are you here for lunch?"

"I'm queuing in front of a food stand, so yeah." Okay, why am I so stupid? Fuck.

"Are you cursing me again in your mind?"

"No, I'm admiring you. You look different today. I'm not used to it." Faifah runs his
fingers through his hair several times. Damn, you're so cool. People passing by might
faint.

"I got tired of being mistaken for him, so I dyed my hair." Seriously, do people
mistake him for Mr. Darkness even after the first few encounters? "It's a shame this
color doesn't last long. I have to dye it black again when it fades."

"You'll go bald."

"Are you worried about the health of my hair?"

"I didn't say that."

"Say it, then. Right now." It's fucking annoying.

"Why are you picking on him? Is he your apprentice?" a man standing in front of
Faifah interrupts before I can answer. He's light-skinned and a little taller than me, about
180 centimeters. He looks familiar; he's probably a senior engineering student.

"No," Faifah replies quietly.

"Introduce it then."

"This is Sleepy." Sleepy, my ass!

"Hi, I'm Wine."

"You look like you're ready to sleep at any moment." They're definitely friends. Now
I'm angry. "I'm Puri."

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"Nice to meet you, Puri." Puri flashes a friendly smile. Her expression changes when
she talks to her best friend.

"Oh, Kong and Cub texted me. They're eating with us."

"Well."

The long line is slowly getting shorter. Puri is focused on her phone, while Faifah and I
exchange a mocking smile.

"You'll be attending the first activity tonight, right?"

I nod at that.

"Is it hard?"

"Ugh, they stopped doing that a long time ago. Now it's just bonding activities."

"What do they usually do?"

"Nothing out of the ordinary. Something like inviting a nice person to lunch, and
that person must be Faifah."

"Erm..." I'd rather not say anything.

"I am a rare object."

"Yes, you are. You really are."

Without my own experience, I would have thought he was the toughest and most attractive
guy around. But in reality, every time he mentions his car, all I can think of is him dropping
off his passengers at different destinations.

"What do you want, son?" The waitress rings her bell, pulling me out of the absurd
conversation. But instead of ordering her food and leaving, Faifah turns to me and speaks
in a voice as soft as fabric softener.

"What do you want?"

"Me?"

"Yeah."

"Fried meat with basil."

"With a fried egg?"

"Yeah."

"We want the same thing," he murmurs and says to the lady, "Do you have enough
fried beef with basil for two?"

"Just one, son."

"A fried meat with basil and a fried egg for this boy," Faifah points at me with his long
finger, puzzling me.

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"Oh, and you?"

"I'll have something else."

What a nice guy, even though I've been mentally insulting him often. Faifah always finds a way to shut me
up without fail.

The plate full of food is placed next to the dividing wall. I pay quickly and sincerely thank the
mayor. I almost cry.

"Thank you. Why are you being so nice to me?"

"As I said, it's a pleasure"

"I am moved"

"What would you like, handsome? A spicy curry is enough for one," the lady says. Instead
of answering, Faifah turns to a girl in the back. Judging by her immaculate uniform, she's
unmistakably a first-year student.

"Oh, Jenin."

"Faifah."

"When did you get here?"

"A little while ago."

"Perfect timing. You can order first, since we're not strangers."

"Excuse me?" The girl looks confused. It takes her several seconds to process it. "Oh, thank
you."

Do you have a menu in mind?

"I want spicy pork curry."

"Oh, we want the same thing."

"..."

"Ma'am, take your order first."

"Thank you very much, Faifah."

"You're welcome, it's a pleasure"

Oh, I'm sorry I got carried away. I'm sorry I thought it was important.
Hic! Just me. From the bottom of my heart...

Come on! Will you ever be able to eat anything in this life, you bastard?

My friends are already at the table. Ben is eating curry noodles with chicken thighs and noodles
with thick soup, while J is enjoying his crispy egg noodles. If I had decided to join them, I
wouldn't have been so devastated.

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Because every time I look at my fried meat with basil and a fried egg, my tears
threaten to fall.

"Wine, why the fuck are you pouting?"

"I am moved."

"Stupid." It's very annoying. J stops teasing me and changes the subject. "Oh, I saw
you talking to Faifah. She looks great with the new hair color."

"Relax. His brain contradicts his appearance."

"Just admit you're jealous of him."

"I'm tired of being jealous of your beauty, J. I'd rather save my energy." My two friends laugh. We
continue eating before two people carrying their plates to Faifah's table catch my attention.

One is tall and thin with a killer smile. The other looks like a nerd with glasses and
messy hair, strangely pleasing to the eye.

"Who are they? I've never seen them before."

Ben, with his back to them, immediately turns around. We started studying a week ago, going in and out of
the apartment building almost every day, but I never ran into them.

"You don't know them either?" my friend asks.

"What? Do I need to know everyone?"

"You don't know, but you should at least meet your mentor's boyfriend."

"Huh? Which one?" Shit, I knew Mr. Darkness was dating someone, but I didn't
expect it to be a guy.

"The one who is as cute as a beagle."

"I got it" The description is clear.

"The other boy is being shipped with Faifah, you know? The students are very
interested in them."
"Damn!"

J exclaims after a long silence. These two seem excited while I'm stuck on the word
'ship'.

"Do you know what shipping is?"

"Shipping? Delivery?"

"Ugh, idiot, how can you be so ignorant when shipping is the trend right now?"
Ben sends a link explaining what shipping is on Google, completely annoyed. I read the
article and finally understood its meaning.

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"Basically, they can be friends in real life, but are imaginarily in love if we pair
them up?"

"Something like that. You can go on board with J. Create the hashtag #JWine to fight them."

"Haha" Jenjob and I? Hell no! "Why them, then? Faifah knows a lot of people.
Why isn't he paired with someone else?"

"He is, but this guy is one of his close friends."

"He has several close friends."

"Why are you asking me so much? Eat."

I don't get a reply; my friends move on to other topics. I'm the only one interested in
the group of sophomores sitting a few tables away. I watch them closely...

Faifah and the person she is paired with are a perfect match.
*****

Engineering students in my imagination:

Workshop t-shirts. Gear logo necklaces. Looking like bad boys. So cool that girls
swoon wherever they go. However, reality shatters all that.

There are no workshop shirts or necklaces with the team. Just a bunch of snotty kids
in T-shirts, sweatpants, and sandals, each crouching with a brush and scrubbing the
paths with extreme boredom. We don't even have any cool photos to post online.

"Do the best you can, guys." What for? To keep roads clean?

Me, Wisawa and my friends are stuck in this hellish week.

Didn't they say we wouldn't have any problems since several welcoming activities
were canceled? What the hell is this? We're doing everything. The only thing we
haven't done is pick up a sword and fight in a battle. The first few days were
comfortable since the activities were held in the air-conditioned classroom. We did
some icebreakers and played games before the second-year students tricked us into
choosing our partners. Everyone was thrilled to make new friends.

My friend is a mechanical engineering student. Since the two of us weren't speaking,

we exchanged gifts and immediately parted ways. The next day was a living hell. We
were assigned to do good deeds for the department.

We take care of everything, from cleaning the Gear Space, scrubbing the fish tank,
trimming bushes, and repairing faulty equipment. Don't have the budget to hire a
maintenance crew, so you delegate all the manual labor to the freshmen?

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"Hey, stop complaining. Your fellow mentors will give you gifts after this.
They will cheer you up."

"Come on, we don't want gifts."

"What do you want?"

"We want to go back and rest"

"Of course. You can rest and not show up again until the team presentation ceremony."

"Ugh, what the fuck?"

These second-year students... They know that many first-year students want necklaces with accessories to
show off to the girls. Since they don't sell them at the student union this year, we have no choice but to
participate in the activities. The positive side is that we can do good deeds for the department, but we can't
ignore this certain feeling of laziness.

Today, computer engineering students are tasked with cleaning the small activity area near the student union
hall, including scrubbing and painting the rusty grandstand.

"Where do we put this?"

"Move them all to the warehouse." Here comes another burden for the computer engineering students, as
our friends kindly offered to move the enormous piles of materials from the student union hall to the new
warehouse. Instead of resting, those who have finished arranging the stands begin another task.

I climb the stairs slowly, piled high with useful tools, one by one. At first, I wasn't slow, but I ran out of energy.
Now I'm like a sloth crawling toward its destination.

And not to mention the warehouse is on the fourth floor. Why didn't they use the one on the lower floor?

"Poor man, about to die in front of me."

This voice... belongs to one person.

I look at the cheeky boy and see the older, gray-haired man beaming in front of me, blocking my way upstairs.
My hands are shaking around the box.

"If you don't want me to die, move." He's tall now, and I have to lift my head to talk to him. I'm sick of this.

"Well."

Faifah steps aside to let me pass, but she doesn't leave, instead walking beside me while contentedly eating
chips.

Are you playing with me? I'm exhausted and hungry right now.

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Faifah is always present at all the activities. In addition to being part of the cheerleading team, he also cheers
on all the first-year students. It's no wonder so many admire and idolize him.

He helped everyone in need, but he left me alone. It's the first time in days we've exchanged
a word.

"Why are you following me?" I ask, puzzled, unable to understand his intention.

"I'm cheering for you."

"Aren't you supposed to help me carry this?"

"Because?"

"Oh, you've always helped everyone."

"It's your job. Do you want some fries?" He offers me one.

"No, thanks."

"Open"

"No."

"Nom, nommmmm," he insists, annoyed, despite my rejection. Pressured by his hopeful

gaze, I give in and eat the potato chip from his hand.

Before I've even finished chewing, Faifah feeds me more and more. I don't know what to
focus on anymore. Should I go over there, carry the box, or eat the chips?

"Will you stop? I'm going to drown."

"You kept eating. I thought you liked it."

"Sigh~"

"Wine, is there much left down there?"

We stop at the stairs leading to the fourth floor and look at J sticking his head over the railing.

"Not many."

"Okay. After this, we'll have shabu-shabu."

"Well."

Jenjob comes down the stairs with a happier expression, as if the shabu-shabu is the reward
for all his hard work. He waves to the playful twin before leaving.

"Hello, Faifah."

"Hello." Once J left, Faifah asked, "Who was that?"

"J, my best friend."

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"The same specialty?"

"We've been inseparable from high school through college. His handsome face is quite frustrating.
He stole all the limelight." We went to school

provincial. Despite the large number of students, J's irresistible beauty was
known to all.

"Then leave it. Go your separate ways." Faifah's solution is truly creative.

"That's exaggerating"

"Handsome boys will steal your thunder"

"In that case, I should stay away from you too."

"You're fine with me. I'm a joker. You can stay by my side." What's wrong?

I shake my head and stride to a corner of the room to place the box on the floor. Now
that I'm free of this burden, all I have left to do is deal with this lovely, chip-eating human.

"You seem very close to J. Don't you want to be close to someone else too?" He
isn't finished. He continues.

"I'm close to other people too, but I'm probably closest to J.

The other students have been weird lately, sending me and him away."

"How did you learn about shipping?" Faifah frowns.

"From your ship. The legendary Faifah Kongkiet."

"Oh, are we that famous?"

"Ha ha."

"I'm blushing"
"You're not pretty"

"How did you meet Kong?"

"My friends told me about him."

What else did they tell you?

"That you two have incredible chemistry, which makes girls scream when you're together." From what
I've been able to find out, Faifah is single and Kong is looking for a girl from our department. Still, imagination
is more important than reality.

"Aren't the girls screaming for your boat?" Faifah asks as we leave the warehouse.

"No, they're just screaming for J."

"See? You guys have no chemistry."

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"..."

"They should send you with me. It'll be better."

"With you? No way."

In fact, Kong isn't the only one sent to the Campus Prince. Faifah has chemistry with
countless people, as can be seen in her tagged photos on Instagram.

I step aside to go down the stairs, but the tall man grabs my wrist and drags me roughly. We stop at the
elevator on the right.

"Can we use the elevator?"

"Why not?"

"Well..." I can't find my voice, watching him press the button and wait patiently.

"The sophomores said they couldn't use it? You didn't use it."

Oh!!

"Why didn't you tell me and let me carry the boxes like this?"

"He he."

"You're bad." My knees are almost buckling from running up and down the stairs. The
rascal seems happy, laughing, enjoying playing with me.

"So, you want to be shipped off with me?" He's at it again. So persistent.

"No, thanks. You have a lot of ships. It'll be difficult if you're interested in someone."

"I don't plan on dating anyone."

"Don't you feel lonely?"

"As if I had time to be alone. Taking care of the people around me is enough for me."

"It's good that you care about everyone, but in a way, you don't care about anyone."

"..."

"I understand that's how you are, but what about from a feelings perspective?"

"It's not that deep. I don't force myself to be nice to everyone."

"There must be something different about a certain person. Something you only do for them. From
the looks of it, you've never done that." I fell in love when I was eighteen, about to turn nineteen. Although
it wasn't that serious, I could see how small my world had been.

"Who says I haven't done it?"

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"Have you done it?"

The elevator door opens. We step inside and resume our conversation.

"I bought a teddy bear for a friend," he says, puffing out his chest with pride.

"Just that friend?"

"Yeah, I've never given anyone a teddy bear before. Just bunny, pig, and unicorn
stuffed animals for everyone else." Damn... I shouldn't have expected much from him.

"There's nothing special about that. Are you kidding me?"

"AND..."

"That's enough," I finish the conversation as the elevator almost reaches the ground floor.

"But I dyed my hair, Wine"

"So what?"

"Well, I was always myself and I never cared."

"..."

"But I quickly changed my hair color so no one would mistake me for someone else.
Is that special?"

DING!

The elevator door opens. I don't respond, and Faifah doesn't say anything else. She steps out of the
elevator and greets her friends as if the previous conversation...

...would never have happened.

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CHAPTER 03: IS THAT YOU, FAIFAH? ISN'T IT?

ARE YOU A GOOD BOY?
I start my morning with renewed energy. The other students spend their weekend differently. Some go home.
Others go shopping. Some happily drive to the sea! J and I, coming from another province, don't feel like
traveling anywhere, so we learn something new...

Cleaning.

The basic cleaning class has begun. We take this more seriously than the topics themselves.

My life has become more difficult without my parents. Even though I use a washing machine, it's important to
learn the basic techniques for sorting clothes. Some may think it's easy to group clothes by color and type, but
I'm sweating a lot as a beginner.

As I sort through my clothes, I come across a shirt, and memories flood back. I'm confused to find it in the
laundry basket even though I've never worn it before.

"I wonder how Toey is doing?"

I can't help but mutter to my roommate. I bought this shirt with Toey.
I remember wanting the other pattern, but Toey insisted this one was prettier, so I bought it.

"Idiot, spend your energy sorting your clothes, not Toey." I hate Jenjob for never being involved in my love
life. That asshole.

"I'm doing it. I'm just remembering the past."

"Fucking stupid."

"Give me some time."

"If you wrote a book of quotes with every word you say every day, it would be a bestseller."

"Come on, don't challenge me. You'll be amazed if I actually do it."

"Ugh!"

"J, you're still Toey's friend on Facebook, right? Can you check on him?"

J rolls his eyes, pauses, and finally gives in. He turns to look for his phone on his desk with a frown.

He is particularly lazy on weekends, tossing and turning until the early hours of the morning and staying in bed
even when playing on his phone.

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"Toey basically gives us hourly updates. Do you want to see the photos, Mr. Wisawa?"
J asks in a snippy voice. "Don't do it if you're not strong enough, I'm warning you."

"Yeah, I'm not strong enough. Just tell me how it is."

"Oh dear."

J turns around and scrolls down the screen as I diligently sort my clothes to kill time while I wait for updates
from my roommate in the bed across the room.

"She seems happy, posting tons of photos with her boyfriend. 'I don't want anything
else now that I have you. #crazyinlove,' with a red heart and a yellow one."

"Just tell me how it is without reading the subtitles." This idiot is messing with me on
purpose.

"There's nothing else. Their relationship is going well."

"Did he mention me?"

"Why would I do that after breaking up with you?"

"Are you sure?" I ask, and the man in front of me gives me a disapproving look. J looks at
something on his phone, still holding it, and then speaks.

"Toey posted a picture of a Polaroid camera with the text, 'From my ex. DM me if you
want her back.'" The tall friend runs up to me. "Is that yours?"

The screen shows one of our sentimental gifts. I vividly remember when I bought her this
camera. I thought she'd thrown it away without expecting to see it on her timeline. The Fujifilm
Instax is expensive. It would be a shame to let her throw it away.

"It's mine," my voice slowly fades from my throat. That bastard J taps me on the forehead.

"You're so excited. Do you want me to send him a private message and ask him?"

"You're sure?"

"She doesn't want it anymore. At least you can resell it."

"Yeah."

"I'll take care of it."

"Thank you so much."

"Don't overthink it. Do you know what's worse than trying to forget someone who
doesn't love you anymore?" I shake my head and fix my gaze on my tall friend. That's when
he points out my miserable life without catching his breath... "You don't even know how to
separate your clothes properly."

"Fuck off!"

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Senior computer science students agree that we're the best at speaking human languages during our first
year. After that, we'll absorb computer language until we can no longer communicate with other humans.

I suppose they're right, considering that many of us have isolated ourselves in the new
world. Soon we'll be having more conversations with the AI than with our friends. Before
my friends and I throw ourselves into our studies, we have the first year to live life to
the fullest and try new things.
*****

"What shoes should I wear for a run today?"

I roll my eyes.

Yesterday we cleaned our room, but today is even more special because we've
suddenly resolved to exercise to stay healthy. However, I doubt J's main goal is to
strengthen his body. He probably wants to show off his charm on the racetrack.

I agreed to accompany him because I'm free. As much of a homebody as I am, I need some fresh air every
now and then. One problem is that we're supposed to arrive at the stadium at 4:30. It's already 5:00, and J is
still obsessing over his outfit in front of his closet.

"Just pick a pair."

"Black or white?" Is she my girlfriend or something? He wouldn't choose a pair like I suggested.
Not even an indecisive person like me can beat him on this one.

"Black."

"Nike or Adidas?"
"Nike."

"Okay... Should I change my shirt?"

I exhale a sigh.
"This one is good."

"How about a jacket? This one looks nice." J pulls a jacket out of the closet with his
big hand, slips it over his torso, and asks, "What do you think?"
"Awful."

"Don't lie." J turns to the mirror and smiles. "Shit! I look like Robert Pattinson in
that Father Nolan movie."

I'm at a loss for words and I'm bothered by the way you described the movie.

"Catch me when you're done. I'll wait for you in front of the bedroom." I turn the
doorknob and leave without listening to his complaint, without wasting time arguing with him.
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Since Ben declined to join our workout due to a family errand, just J and I walked to the
stadium to warm up. A few moments after waiting, a motorcycle pulled up to the curb right
in front of me.

At first, I'm a little surprised. When the biker takes off his helmet, my heart sinks. It's the
ghost of my past life haunting me.

"Hello~" Faifah shouts with a high-pitched voice and a silly face, acting cute without thinking
about her twin brother's image.

"Hello, Faifah"

He normally drives a car. Why does he ride a motorcycle today?

"Where are you going, Wine?"

"JJ asked me to run together."

"Oh, what great timing. I'm going for a run too. Do you want to go together?" The
stadium is on the other side of the university. Why did he come here?
Despite my bewilderment, I ignore him and accept his offer out of courtesy.

"Oh... sure"

"But my friends are coming too. Does that sound okay to you?"

"No problem. It's fun to run with a lot of people."

"Get in," Faifah pats the back seat in invitation.

I think I'm looking ahead, praying that history doesn't repeat itself like when he offered to
drive his friends around in his car and we ended up crammed like canned mackerel.
If it happens again, I might have to sit on his shoulder like the ghost in Shutter.

"I have to wait for my friend first. It'll be a hassle to go with you."

"No, not at all. My bike has plenty of room."

That tiny back seat? Oh, my ass!

"Are you going to pick up more people after this?"

"I won't. My friends will meet me at the stadium."

We chat casually, waiting for J. Suddenly, I think of all the items left in Faifah's car.

"I meant to ask you if he found the owners of the wallet and the appointment book."

"I did it and put them back where they belong." He's a delivery man too, huh? I guess
people often leave stuff in his car. "Hey, your friend is here."

The topic abruptly changes. Faifah shifts her gaze to my tall friend, who's coming out of the room, all dressed
up. Noticing J's frown, Faifah greets him in a friendly manner.

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"J, right?"

"Yes. What are you doing here?"

"I'm just taking a walk. I'm going for a run. Do you want to go together?"

"It's the perfect time. Wine and I are going for a run right now."

"Get in, then. I'll take you there." I hope he doesn't stray and kill us all halfway there.

If you're so sure, I won't turn you down. I climb into the backseat, and my tall friend follows
me. The three of us are packed in, leaving no room for a single soul. Oh my God.

"Are you okay, kids?"

"Yessss."

Excellent.

A moment later, the bike takes off at twenty kilometers per hour. Faifah enjoys the view,
waves to passersby, and catches up with people. I fight the urge to lower the kickstand
and set the table so they can have a pleasant conversation.

We're supposed to be running in the stadium. Now it looks like a political campaign again.

"Dude, did the juice sell well today?" Faifah slows down again as I gossip about him in
my head. He stops and waves to a man at the herbal juice stand.

"Not really, son."

"That's a shame. Does that mean you'll be closing late again?"

"It's okay. I like it."

They talk for a while before continuing, but Faifah doesn't head for the stadium. He cuts the engine halfway
there.

"Cheer up, guys."

"What for? Didn't you say we were going to run together?"

Look at me now.

On the bike, I'm carrying bottles of juice and bags of homemade cookies, completely fed
up with this. Not only me, but J also seems ready to say goodbye to the world.

This is not what we want, Faifah.

I knew it wouldn't end with a simple, casual chat with the juice vendor. When he said it wasn't selling well,
the kind Faifah came to his aid. In the end, we distributed the cookies and juice along the way. We only had
a few left after wandering around the university.

When I say a few I mean...a whole basket.

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"Let's do something nice before we go for a run. Don't act like an impulsive
teenager," Faifah stammers.

"I'm not patient like you"

"Come on, we'll go there once we deliver everything."

I'm afraid I won't be able to go for a run, so I offer several bottles of juice to one person at
a time, while J spreads the word by posting photos online. By the time we finish this good
deed, there are almost six of us.

Finally, we dragged ourselves to the stadium. There are as many places to exercise as there are football
fields at different points around our university. One of the most popular places to run is the main stadium,
where the busiest time is between 4 and 5 p.m. But since we arrived with Faifah, who was very relaxed, we
arrived around 6 p.m.

The crowd has thinned out. The positive side is that we can run in this cozy, non-stifling
environment.

"Let me stretch really quick."

Yeah, whatever.

"Where are your friends?" I ask about his gang as we warm up with basic moves off to the side.

"Right. They said they'd catch up with us. Where the hell are they? There they are.
Talk about the devil," the tall guy grumbles, pouting at the newcomers.

I braced myself for it not to be just one person. At least no more than three. As I predicted,
two of his friends have appeared. The first is Faifah's legendary partner, Kongkiet.
The other is my mentor's boyfriend.

"What took you so long?" Faifah asks.

"We knew it would take you forever to get here, so we left fifteen minutes late."
Wow, I admire Kong's way of thinking, calculating so well, as expected of someone who
has been Faifah's friend for a long time. "Anyway..."

He looks from J to me. As I'm about to introduce myself, the taller guy shoots.

"This is Wine, Yotha's apprentice, and his friend, J."

"Nice to meet you"

"Hi, I'm Kun. This guy is Kong."

"You don't need to add 'bastard'."

"Well, then this is my friend... silly Kong."

"I'm sick of you idiots." The twin shakes his head in annoyance and ends the
conversation: "Come on, let's go for a run."

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Now that we're warmed up and everyone's here, it's time to get started.

J, more energetic than anyone, trots for a bit before quickening his pace and moving away from us.
I let my friends show off my short legs, jogging with the other guys.

There's no silence. I usually use my AirPods when I go running, but not today.
Someone keeps me entertained and that person is the happiest man in the world.

"Are you running too?"

"Yeah. I didn't expect to see you here, Fai." I hear the tall boy greet someone as we run
past him.

"It's nice weather for running. Do you want to go together?"

"Well."

The first person is followed by the second and third. I knew what I was going to experience.
I even notice Kong and Kun subtly rolling their eyes.

"Bell Sawitree, have you been here long?" Look, just as I expected.

"For a while."

"Keep it up."

"You too, Faifah."

Damn, he remembers their short, first names. This is crazy.

"Hello, handsome boy."

As we trot along in a 'group,' Mr. Brilliant can't be stopped and continues to break his record.
It's a kid this time, you idiot! I doubt he's more than ten years old.

"What's up, bro?"

They shake hands like friends. The little one joins us.

"Who is he?" I ask, overwhelmed with curiosity.

"The son of the administrative director of humanities." Huh? He even knows the son of
an employee? How so? "We met at the manga rental shop."

He reads my mind even before I ask him.

Faifah never ceases to amaze me. We started with the five of us and gradually gathered more
people along the way, as if we were collecting items in an online game. I don't know how much
time has passed, but our group has grown incredibly, faster than the second hand on a clock.

Um, our current situation is kind of like... the race scene in Forrest Gump.

And I feel like a journalist running alongside the runners, cheering them on. It's great to greet
a bunch of people.

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I feel like crying, not knowing if they're tears or beads of sweat running down my face. A phrase
comes to mind: it's what I said to Faifah.

'It's fun to run with a lot of people'

I thought only a few of your friends would be here, which was correct, but only at first. Now... there
are dozens of us! And the number will probably increase until the end.

In conclusion, everyone in the stadium is your friend.

No matter how hard I try, my best friend JJ is nowhere to be seen. I'm left with a group of strangers
and Mr. Brilliant.

I shouldn't have trusted you. Noooo!

Now I believe what the professor said in the interview room.

'You'll experience more things than you ever expected during your stay here.'

I have him, but I wish I hadn't met someone like him. Boohoo~

I have no idea what state I'm in in my bedroom, physically or mentally. Everything is a blur, as if I'd
left my brain at the stadium and someone had obediently carried my body here.

The time on my phone says it's already 8:00. J bought us boxes of food to eat in our room earlier
and went into the next room to play a game, leaving me alone to reminisce.

(Rrrr--Rrrr--)

A video call pulls me out of my train of thought.

"Shit..."

Watching 'I've Never Seen Anyone Like This' play on the screen, I take a deep breath and gather all
my strength, certain that I need immense energy for this conversation.

"What's happening?"

[Wine, you left something on my bike.] His annoyed, goofy face is accompanied by a black wallet raised
toward the camera. The problem is, it's not mine, again. Whoever's with him should put name tags on their
things so they can be returned to the rightful owners.

"It's not mine"

[Oh, maybe it's J's?]

"I remember his wallet. This one isn't his either. Maybe it's Kong's or Kun's."

[It's not theirs.] Faifah looks angry. [Are you free tomorrow night, Sleepy?]
There is a delicious restaurant.]

What's wrong with him? How did he go from talking about the wallet to talking about whether I'm
free or not? I can't keep up.

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[No. I'm going somewhere with Yotha.]

[Okay. See you later.] His voice trails off, visibly sad. Damn, why is he studying engineering
when he would have loved to be an actor?

"I'm sorry."

[Why Yotha? Am I not important?] Didn't she say she was fine?

"You're important too, but my mentor asked me first."

[My heart hurts.]

"Stupid," I'll kick your ass if you keep complaining. Who's the biggest one here?

[How slow was I?]

"Two days."

[Boo, I've been two days late. Let's set a date in advance. Make room for me in your
schedule.]

"What day?"

[The day after tomorrow to your next life.] Damn, can't I see anyone else? [Have you eaten?]

"Yes and you?"

[Not yet. I couldn't eat, I was worried about you.]

"For me?"

[I'm sorry I invited so many people to run with us.] Haha, there weren't that many, it just
seemed like a mini marathon.

[Really? Do you want to do it again?]

What's with your anxious face?

"Ah... I'll think about it." Maybe I'll go with him again if I have the energy, but I won't drag myself there if
I'm too tired. Running doesn't take my energy away, but meeting new people all the time does.

[I guess you don't want to go with me.] He's getting emotional. What do I say?

"Who says so? I'll definitely go if I have time."

[I'm happy. And I've confirmed it.]

"What did you confirm?"

[Everything. I'm free all the time.]

Incredible. I'm dying to ask him if he doesn't have any homework to do when he's not attending
classes or meeting with his advisor, but that would only prolong the conversation. I just laugh
dryly while screaming inside.

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How can someone's college life be so miserable?!

I look at myself in the mirror and try on different clothes, until I end up wearing my favorite
band's T-shirt, which is almost in tatters from frequent use. Seeing nothing to fix, I grab a
band tote bag, ready to head out into the world. My destination isn't far away: a restaurant
my mentor handpicked.

Yotha was already there when I arrived. I felt bad because the lunch invitation was his and
because I had kept him waiting. I quickly approached my mentor, who was tall and had a
good attitude, and greeted him with a smile.

"Hello, Yotha"

"Hey."

"Did you wait a long time?"

"I just got here. Let's place our order." He passes me the menu without missing a beat,
and I, with my stomach growling, settle into my chair and scan the menu, looking for the
cheapest dish to be considered.

"Don't overthink it. Ask for whatever you want," he says, reading my mind.

"I'll have... an omelet with rice."

"Don't they sell that in the dorm cafeteria?" Here comes his attack.

"Yes, but I wonder what it tastes like here."

"Okay." Yotha doesn't force me and lets me do whatever I want. We order our drinks and
close the menus. While we wait for our food, Yotha surprises me by handing me a plain
paper bag.

"For me?"

"Yes, a gift for my fellow apprentice."

"You don't have to, but I'll accept your consideration. Thank you." I take the paper
bag and open it. Damn, what the hell are they?

They look like colorful pajamas with prints that make my head hurt. They have prints of
ducks, dolphins, rabbits, and other animals.

"Don't forget to use them"

"I promise I'll wear them every night," but I'm sure J will make fun of me for that forever.

"Oh, what a coincidence"

Someone's voice reaches my ears as I appreciate the super cute pajamas with my mentor.
I turn toward the voice and my heart races, but not because I feel good. It's the deep
apprehension of the impending disaster.

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"Fai," Yotha sighs, calling out to her twin brother in utter annoyance. Meanwhile, Faifah
is irritatingly cheerful.

"I didn't expect to see you here."

"You could have pretended not to have noticed us."

"But I did it. I can't help it." The twins argue passionately before the youngest sits down
next to me without waiting for an invitation.

"Fuck off."

"I'm hungry. Have you ordered yet?"

"Get your own table. I'm treating my roommate to lunch today."

"What did you order?" What a pain. Faifah simply ignores everything Yotha says and
turns her attention to me. She smiles radiantly and asks me in an incomparably pretentious
voice.

"Wine, what did you order?"

"An omelet with rice"

"Oh my gosh. How creative. I'll get mine too." Is that sarcasm? I give a shy smile,
unsure how to respond to his overreaction.

I have no idea why he's here. Is it really a coincidence? Whatever it is, Yotha and I should save our energy
to chat with this man. What a sinful life, destined to run into this guy more and more often the more I try to
escape him.

I pray that Faifah doesn't do any tricks or say ridiculous things, and it really works.
We all devour our food in silence until our stomachs are full.
However, the joy is short-lived, because Yotha breaks the silence.

"Fai, take a picture of me and my fellow apprentice." Yotha takes his phone out of his
pocket for the man in front of him, but Faifah cheerfully rejects him.

"I'll use my phone. I just bought it. Yours is crap. Time to upgrade."

"Who would change their phone every season like you?"

"Well, it's technology." Faifah raises an eyebrow condescendingly and pulls her phone
out of her cute mangosteen clutch. Oh, is that a phone or an iPad?
Fucking huge. "Beauty mode?"

"Beauty mode, my ass! Just do it normally."

"Portrait?"

"Do you understand 'normally'?"

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Their arguments are quite entertaining. As the matchmaker, I'm speechless, just rolling my
eyes and smiling, waiting for them to come to blows so I can have something to gossip about
with my friends.

Faifah walks to the head of the table, spreads her legs slightly, and picks up the giant phone.

"Smiling"

I manage a small smile as my mentor tenses so much his neck is bulging. Is he smiling or
intimidating someone?

"Snap!"

"Fai, you don't have to make any noise."

"I like it. Snap, snap, snap!" What a damn moment. This is giving me a headache. Faifah
takes several photographs before finally shutting up.

The tall man taps his phone screen, without returning to his seat. His focused expression seems
different from usual.

"That's damn cute," he mutters to himself. His twin brother immediately asks.

"What's cute?"

"You and your fellow apprentice"

"Send me the photos."

"I'll tag you guys."

I wait with bated breath. Five minutes later, the photo of the Angel Gear code appears on a
social media platform, posted by the photographer.

Faifah's phone camera is spectacular. The plant in the background is sharper than Yotha's face
and mine. To thank her, I left her several heart emojis. But seriously, it's all fake. What I really
want to say is...

The camera focused on the wrong thing, idiot!

I can't say what looks better, the people or the plant.

You know what's worse than getting dumped, having your face blurrier than a plant, and meeting
the happiest person in the world, Faifah? The answer is... I have to go to a cafe with him despite
myself.

Boohoo, the thing is, as we were about to leave, Mr. Brilliant from Engineering invited me to
have coffee. Although Yotha didn't want me to hang out with his twin brother, I accepted out of
curiosity about how crazy it could be.

Sweet Song Café is the coffee of bad luck.

"Your iced mocha and cocoa frappe, sir."

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The waiter serves us our drinks a few minutes after we order them. I look around and find this place quite
cozy. It's a small, modern Japanese cafe with a discordant decor, which is probably why it's emptier than
other cafes in the area.

As for the music, it lacks the tone and atmosphere suggested by the café's name. Sweet Song Café plays
the kind of music that makes me want to hide in the bathroom so I don't have to endure it anymore.

"I didn't know this place."

"My friend Puri works here as a waiter. Sometimes I stop by to help him out."

Are you here to help him or to bother him?

"Brat!" The tall guy raises his fist. Ugh... he's just acting.

"Is Puri not working today?"

"No, he works weekdays at night," I nod and sip the hot chocolate. "A lot of my friends work part-time.
Kun, Yotha's boyfriend, works night shifts at another cafe. But I brought you here because it has a
family atmosphere."

"A real family atmosphere." Even the sofas look like they've been taken from home. Not to mention the
overstuffed tomato throw pillows.

Hey! Isn't Sweet Song Café a cat café?

"Hey, where are the cats?"

"Oh, they're lying on their fat bellies there."

Holy crap! Those four cats sleeping in the corner? This isn't a cat cafe, it's a cafe that has cats, and they
show no interest in interacting with humans; they just sleep.

"Big Brother Mee's family is the majority owner of an animal extermination company. They had some
money to spare, so they opened a cafe for students without worrying about profits," Faifah proudly
explains, although this is a stark contradiction to reality.

"The coffee costs one hundred and seventy baht." I didn't want to argue, but I couldn't help it.

"It's premium."

"Cocoa is one hundred and twenty"

"They grow cacao trees on Mars. Shipping is expensive."

"That's not funny at all," I said, putting on a straight face. The resourceful Faifah immediately fixed the
situation.

"Do you hear anyone crying?" Faifah says jokingly. I'm dying to say it's me crying because of her silly joke.

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"Oh, Fai."

"Ooh, surprise~" Faifah and I turn toward the voice. I see an unfamiliar boy standing next to a girl
at the entrance, and the man who is friendly to everyone in the world abruptly changes his manner.

Her joy increases tenfold. I knew it... I'm sure it must be one of the many friends she has wherever
she goes. She should get over it, shouldn't she?

"Having coffee with your junior?" the newcomer asks cordially, approaching us.

"Yes, and you're here with your girlfriend."

"Of course. I'm madly in love, you know?"

"What about me, Nong? What am I to you? Will I ever be able to get out of your friend zone?"

"Do you want to be my dad, asshole?"

One of the advantages of knowing Faifah is that it allows me to open up my world and meet all
kinds of people. I wouldn't have experienced any of this if I had remained a homebody, although I
had to trade it for memorizing tons of names and
faces.

"Fai, you're here."

It's repetitive. The same greetings are repeated as if programmed. Faifah gets up from the table
and addresses the others, sometimes even taking photos to keep as souvenirs. Boohoo, all I can
do is sip my hot chocolate and enjoy the situation presented to me to kill the boredom.

The café may not be full, but customers, mostly students, are constantly coming in. And this is the
pattern:

They open the door, look surprised, greet Faifah, order drinks, chat, take photos with him, and leave.

Exactly the same!

The only difference is Faifah's iced mocha, whose ice is starting to melt.
As it would be rude to call him to drink it again, I just watch the
situation.

When he finishes greeting everyone, I almost collapse on the couch. When the rascal returns, he
complains pathetically.

"No~ The ice melted"

"What are you going to do?"

"Don't worry, Wine," he says cheerfully, turning back to the bar counter.

"..."

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"Excuse me. One more iced mocha, please!"

Erm...

Oh my God. He ordered another glass before trying the first one. If more people come in, the ice in the
second mocha will melt again. What do I do with it?

"Take your glass when you talk to your friends. What a waste!"

"I'm not going to do that anymore. I'm staying here with you." Am I supposed to be moved?
He left me alone for so long without a care. "Is the chocolate good?"

"Yeah."

"Do you want anything else?" Faifah asks, fussing over me.

"No, thanks. I'm full."

"How about a cake?"

"No."

"Where are you going after this?"

"My bedroom. And you?"

"My friends invited me to have a drink at the bar later, but I turned them down." I can't believe I
just said that. Is Faifah capable of turning anyone down? She usually accepts everyone.

"Why don't you leave? Are you trying to set a good example for me?"

"No, I urinate often when I drink. I'm sick of going to the bathroom."

Oh dear...

How many times have I withdrawn my compliments from this fucking asshole?

"Are you joking?" I ask confidently, and his serious face says it all...

"I'm just telling the truth"

"Ha ha."

"Come to think of it, Wine, we don't know each other very well."

"We know each other well enough. There's no need to go any further than this. It will be annoying for you."
Tears are welling up in my eyes. I barely made it through the period of getting to know you, and yet you
expect me to get to know you more? Please don't...

"Why would that be annoying?" He has no idea. "When Yotha wants to meet someone, she gives
them a form to fill out. But I'm not like that.
I'm just asking them."

"But there's not much to know about me."

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"Of course." This doesn't make me feel good at all. It's unsettling. "Let's get to know each
other better."

"I don't know what to say about myself. Can I just listen to you talk about yourself?"

Faifah shakes his head and rolls his eyes thoughtfully. Soon after, he looks at me with his
most stern stare.

"Okay. Name five facts about yourself."

"Five facts?"

"Yeah, I'll go first. One, my friends call me Mr. Brilliant of Engineering." Oh, that's wrong. Actually, he's Mr.
Brilliant of the world. "Your turn, Wine."

Faifah is peculiarly cheerful. Why is he so nosy?

"Well... I seem sleepy, I guess. I look sleepy."

"Okay. Two, I have so many friends, like a pack."

"That's true," I totally agree.

"Oh, you're not going to argue?"

"Why argue with the facts? Secondly, I'm a homebody."

"You won't be anymore. I'll take you everywhere."

"I don't want to go to hell with you"

"You're a disdainful brat," Faifah says with a frown. I offer him a smile.

to save myself and get back to the main topic.

"I'm not. What's the third fact?"

"My cheeks are very soft."

"It's all in your head." A few seconds later, Faifah suddenly brings his face close to mine.
I stare at him, holding my breath.

What the fuck are you doing?

"Touch them and see for yourself."

"N...No."

"Try it."

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Faifah laughs happily and steps away, and I quickly catch myself. Why is she so
unpredictable?

"What's your third fact, Wine?"

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"I'm terrible at English."

"I can teach you," he replies sympathetically, enough to take away his previous brashness.
"And the fourth?"

"You first."

"This time we're going to listen to you first."

"I like to keep things as memories, like... if I care a lot about someone, I'll keep
everything they gave me."

"You're romantic, Wine."

Don't call it romantic, call it obsession. I couldn't even help it. Before I knew it, the box of
those items was filled to the brim, jam-packed with all the gifts.

To avoid being questioned, I shift our attention to the tall guy.

"Your turn"

"My fourth fact is that... I'm very clear about my feelings. If I see you as a friend,
you'll always be my friend. If I see you as a brother, you'll always be my brother.
Therefore, it's impossible for people I see as friends or brothers to develop a
romantic relationship with me."

"How do you categorize them?"

"First impressions." I think I understand, but I'm frowning. "It's hard to explain, but I
can tell if they're the right person or not. For example, Sawitree, the girl who went
running with us that day, is a friend."

"What's up with Kong?"

"Ugh, he's a friend. He's been chasing this girl for years. How could I possibly think
more of him than that? Why don't you look at yourself?"

"I'm like a brother to you, aren't I?"

"You are in the disturbing phantom zone."

"Right. I forgot."

That's way worse than being in the bro zone. I feel like crying, but Faifah continues, not
giving me a chance to shed tears.

"If I don't see you as a friend or a brother..."

"..."

"Then it's possible that you'll develop a romantic relationship with me."

We both fell silent, as if the world had stopped. His words, his voice, his expression, and
his eyes were no longer playful as before.

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And those words make us forget to tell ourselves the fifth fact about ourselves.
What happened today was like a roller coaster going up and down. And when I open my bedroom
door, I feel the tension that threatens to bring the roller coaster crashing down.

"Didn't you go out with Ben? Why did you come back so early?" I ask J, dropping my handbag
on my bed. He's sitting at his desk, eyes glued to his laptop.

J used to greet me with his cheeky voice when I came home. I wonder what unexpected event
happened to me today to make me completely different. His reaction is strange.

"Wine, about your request that I contact Toey for the camera. She responded today."

"Oh, yeah? What did he say to you?"

My heart is pounding and my hands are shaking, but I try to keep my composure.

"She'll give it back to you. I gave her the address of our dorm."

"Did he say anything else?" I swallowed, afraid to hear the answer.

"You've been wondering why Toey broke up with you, haven't you?"

"Y...Yes."

"She told me she found out something about you. Something you were afraid to tell her," J
says, staring at his laptop without meeting my eyes.

The silence is suffocating and forces me to gather the courage to ask him.

"J, what did you learn? What did Toey tell you?"

I was always afraid that was really the reason she broke up with me.

"She didn't tell me anything. I just wondered. To be honest... I've always wondered, but I've
never dared to ask."

"..."

"Remember Toey's gifts I told you to throw away?"

"I threw them all away," I reply, alarmed.

"Yeah, you did it because they meant nothing to you... So what the heck is that box under
your bed?"

My heart plummets. My whole body goes numb and can't move an inch.

At that moment, a shiver runs through my body. My best friend looks at me with inscrutable eyes.

"I didn't open it because I didn't want to pry into your private life, but I put the pieces of the
puzzle together after talking to Toey today. Wine..."

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"..."

"You were in love with Toey's brother, weren't you?"

Toey is the third child, with an older brother and a middle sister. J, not allowing me to
recall the past, continues in a deep voice that makes me shudder.

"You liked his brother, didn't you?"

I have realized this.

The biggest secret I'd ever kept was revealed. And it was one of the reasons I didn't tell
Faifah my fifth piece of information: that I like boys.

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CHAPTER 04: GREAT LITTLE WINE

To tell you the beginning of my lasting friendship with Jenjob, we have to go back to our
high school years. We met as classmates and like-minded friends, which meant we
always skipped the plant-growing class we hated together.

J and I have been through ups and downs together, and they have strengthened our
bond. We've been there for every stage of each other's lives, whether it was flirting with
girls, our first romantic experiences, or being dumped. Even when my mom kicked me
out of the house for playing too much, J's family took me in for the night.

We kept no secrets from each other, no matter how humiliating they were, to the point of
wanting to bury them deep in our subconscious. However, despite our long friendship, I
kept one thing from him: my sexuality. I had worked up the courage to reveal the truth
several times, but I always ended up chickening out.

I was afraid he'd be disappointed. I was afraid he wouldn't accept who I was. I was afraid
we'd stop being friends. I was afraid of a lot of things because I knew I couldn't change
myself.

I take a step forward and sit on the edge of my bed, my gaze lowered, not wanting to
meet his disappointed gaze.

"I..." My throat feels dry, like I've swallowed a handful of sand. I struggle to find my voice.

"It's okay. You don't have to tell me now. Do it when you're ready." The moment he
says that, my head tilts up. I stare at my best friend without blinking.

"J, I'm sorry."

"Because?"

"For hiding it from you," J trails off, his face unreadable. "I didn't feel anything for
Toey anymore. It was selfish of me to use her as an excuse."

"Why did you do that?"

"Because I was afraid people would know I'd lost interest in girls."

"What's wrong with not liking girls?" J sounds angry, obviously furious. "What you did wrong was trick
Toey into going out with you when you were really in love with her brother."

"I didn't cheat on her. I really liked her at first, not knowing my feelings would
change. " Let's do this. "You know what? I've tried many ways to forget her, not
because I wanted to forget she left me, but to forget what I did to her."

Although I could guess the reason why she'd broken up with me, I never dared to express
it. I never dared to apologize to her in person because I'm too cowardly to accept it.

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"I was very confused. Why did I have feelings for his brother? I didn't know what
to do, so I just kept quiet."

I fooled myself and everyone else. But hey, there are no secrets in this world.
Someone has to find out one day, and it's up to them whether they reveal it or not.

"It's not just about Toey," my best friend says resignedly. "Do you know the other
reason I'm angry?"

I shake my head, pouting, on the verge of tears. It's time to say goodbye to our years of friendship.

"Warat".

"I'm Wisawa."

"Wine, you idiot, I'm mad because you never told me the truth."

"Can you accept it?" I ask uneasily.

"Why not? I fucking love you, man."

"J, you... do you think of me that way?"

"Ugh, asshole." He gets so angry he could throw his laptop on the floor.

My friend's reaction gives me great relief for some reason despite his angry face.

For years I lived in fear, unprepared to reveal the truth to anyone, not even my friends
or family. That means I still can't accept myself.

"Will we still be the same after this? Will you still be my roommate? Will you still
go places with me?"

"How dramatic of you to act like you've become a different person right after
this. You're still Wine, who dreams of taking advantage of his parents forever. "
He was almost fine until the last few words. "So, is there anything else you want to
tell me?"

"I..." J sits on my bed, leans against the wall, and hugs my pillow. His most curious position.

I revealed my tragic story in detail, starting with the first time I met Toey.
Back then, I really fell in love with her, but somehow my feelings drifted towards
someone else who played an important role in my life, as he was Toey's brother.

Tor was my oldest at school. I'd seen him since I attended this school in seventh
grade. With his easygoing personality, his kindness, and his basketball prowess,
everyone knew him. Although his looks weren't top-notch, he made everyone fall head
over heels for him with his words.

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Over the course of the year I dated Toey, I got to know Tor better, in addition to getting
to know Toey. I had no idea when I'd started having feelings for a forbidden person. All I
knew was that I had to keep it to myself.

Besides, Tor wasn't gay. He was dating someone. There was no reason to say so.

But what is clear is that the reason Toey and I broke up was because she found out I
was gay. I thought she couldn't stand my nastiness and indecision, but now I know for
sure and I feel terribly guilty.

Even if I didn't cheat on her, everything that happened after that was simply my attempt to maintain our
relationship with an ulterior motive.

I don't like Toey anymore. No, I don't like any girl anymore. But my heart races for
another man. Not just Tor, but for many others...

"All men?" my best friend asks bluntly, frowning.

"No, just the ones who are my type. But the one I like the most is Tor."

"What's your type? A handsome guy like me?" J says, smiling proudly. Ah... I don't
like all handsome men. After all the years we've been friends, his only redeeming quality
is his face and nothing else.

"Sometimes I think your assumptions are fucking stupid."

"Oh, what's your type then?" I roll my eyes in thought, but I can't explain. The curious
Jenjob helps me narrow down the options. "A cute guy like Tom Holland? Spiderman
slinging webs, pew-pew?"

"No."

"Or a papa bear, Chris Hemsworth?"

I love his movies. He's definitely my idol. But he's not my type.

I shake my head in response. The scoundrel continues guessing without giving up.

"Maybe Korean guys?"

"I want to look like a KPOP idol."

"Which is impossible"

"Fuck you."

"I think my assumption is too risky. What if it's the people around you?"

"I don't like anyone around me, especially you."

"I'm not talking about me. What about Yotha? Is she your type?"

"I like his face, but he's terribly stern." How did she end up with Kun? Their
personalities are completely opposite.

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"If it's not Yotha, what about Faifah?"

I have no idea what expression I'm wearing, but I'm speechless the moment J mentions her name. My body
slowly burns, my heart pounds, my limbs weaken.

Not that he's my type, but I'm scared of him... even more than I am of Yotha.

Life has been full of surprises since I met him. I always have a headache or pray he
doesn't do anything strange.

"Faifah is weird," I finally say to my best friend, after a long pause.

"I'm asking about your type, not how weird it is."

"Oh!"

"So?"

"Forget it. I like someone like Tor. He's my number one."

In this session of sincerity, my head fills with questions, with and without answers.
Despite that, I can only want him in my mind.
*****

"What do you want to eat?"

"Egg fried rice~"

"Alright."

After surviving the grueling software programming class, my friends and I are excited. I
look around and find something slightly different. Before, I would have cried in pain at
the mention of Toey's favorite dish.

It didn't hurt because Toey left me without telling me the reason, but because he reminded me of
his brother, who made this dish when I visited his house. Now that I've opened up to my best
friend, I don't feel that way anymore.

"I'll write that down. Go get us something to drink." Ben assigns me my usual job
and runs to our usual rice bowl station, while J keeps an eye on the table.

At lunchtime, there aren't many free tables in the cafeteria. Fortunately, my friends
have a knack for shamelessly asking older women to let us sit with them.

I return to the table and sit with Jenjob to bring us water. While I wait for the food, I take
a book out of my bag, read it over and over, and highlight the most impressive parts.

"What the hell are you doing?" J cranes his neck curiously. I lean in a little to shield
those words.
"Highlighting quotes."

"Because?"

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"Daydreaming about love."

"Ugh, why are you obsessing over a drunk?" You mean Tor, huh?

"It's not that. I'm going to post them on my account. Someone might feel some
sympathy and send me a private message."

"Who would do it?"

"Big Little Wine~" a nauseating and familiar voice sounds before answering J.
Ugh, am I big or small, Mr. Faifah? All the things you're saying to me are ridiculously creative. "Another
coincidence."

I look at the person behind me with an anxious heart.

"Why are you here?" I ask with idiotic puzzlement.

"It's our department. Why not?" Faifah says with a disturbing smile.
Greet J in a friendly manner.

I don't know when they became closer, but I remember them exchanging contacts in case
they wanted to hang out. Things get even funnier when Café People star Puri suddenly
shows up.

"Guys, do you want to get something to drink together at Bang-on Pochana tonight?" Puri
gets straight to the point, as expected from Faifah's friend.

"Ah..."

"They can't go," Mr. Brillante from Engineering replies as I process the question.

"I'm not asking you, Fai. I'm asking them."

"They're underage." I saw the twins fighting in the restaurant before. Now, I see Faifah
arguing with his friend. What bad luck for me.

"They sell yogurt and carbonated drinks"

"Minors are not allowed to enter."

"Are they allowed to go out?"

"Fuck off, you piece of shit."

"What? Are you afraid they'll see your dark side?"

"What dark side? Nonsense." Faifah looks alarmed while Puri gives a smug smile.

"Let them decide then."

At first I didn't want to enter a crowded place, but after their conversation, a spark of
curiosity ignites in my mind.

I wonder what Faifah's dark side is.

"I'm going," J snaps, his eyes flashing, faster than my thoughts.

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"I heard you guys are going to the bar tonight. Can I come?" Ben says, suddenly
appearing and immediately joining the team.

"And you, Wine?"

At this rate...

"What time tonight?"

9:00 PM, Bang-on Pochana, center of free spirits.

Since I know it's a casual bar, where simplicity and no flashy clothing prevail, my friends
and I only wear T-shirts and jeans. Still, why am I the only one who looks awful?

I walk into the bar without anyone even noticing. Meanwhile, J is super popular, and Ben is
signing his autograph for the spectators who recognize him. And me? What do I have to
compete with...?

"Wow, you look great, Wine. Animal style, huh?"

Some of them praise me, even though it sounds like an indirect insult.

"Ah... you mean minimalist?"

"Yes, that's it. Come sit down."

We sit at the table and greet the older children. Besides Faifah and Puri, there's Kong and
Kun, having fun.

"What do you want, guys? Place your order. Tonight's on me."

The second-year boys show off their generosity and our eyes shine.
It would be rude to refuse them, so we nodded and accepted their kindness without thinking.

"I'll have a carbonated drink." First-year students aren't allowed to drink alcohol, even
though our tables are filled with numerous bottles of beer.

"Great. A whole case of cola, then."

"Damn!" We'll all be gassy tonight.

Since Bang-on Pochana is close to the university, it is popular with students.

I heard they used to only be open during football matches, but then they started offering more entertainment,
including upbeat bands to entertain the customers.

Today they are an indie band with melodic and relaxing songs.

Now that the drinks, music, and atmosphere are in perfect condition, we chat over carbonated
drinks and alcohol. Our topics range from being fans of Ben's mukbang channel, Kong still
failing to win his friend's heart even after a year, to each guy's hilarious antics.

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I didn't expect the next band to cause such a disaster. They don't stink or anything. It's
someone's reaction.

"The moon has arrived. Wow, wow!"

"Calm down, brother."

"I'll be right back."

"Fai is at it again"

Kong seems fed up. I see the tall guy run onto the stage and dance like crazy, making everyone laugh. His
waist might dislocate after this, especially when he leans into the half-wheel pose and nearly gives the other
customers a heart attack.

"Don't be surprised, guys. He's a regular here and a fan of this band." Kun's
explanation answers my question to a certain extent. I wonder if he goes further.

Fortunately, everything is in order during the first, second, and third songs. The only
thing that's out of control is the Campus Prince. Who the hell elected him?

"Thank you so much for singing and dancing with me. I'm happy," says the
remarkable singer with a killer smile. He stares at the tall boy who's been dancing from
the first song to the last. "And thank you, Faifah, for your crazy moves."

"Amazing, woohoo!"

"He not only knows how to dance, he also knows how to sing. Do you want to hear my friend sing?"

"Yessss."

No...

"Please welcome Faifah to sing for us."

"Woooooo!"

Faifah scratches the back of her neck shyly, walking up to the stage amidst everyone's attention.

Please, someone get me out of here. He was already a beautiful dancer, and now he's going to sing.
He surprises me every day.

Another cheer echoes with the flashing lights. Besides his attractive appearance, his
wicked smile captivates everyone.

"I'm super excited because this will be my first time singing here."

"First time in a week, asshole."

Puri mumbles but I can hear him clearly.

"Can you all sing and dance with me?"

"Yeah."

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"I can't hear them," Faifah says, holding the microphone toward the customers.

"Yess ...

His confidence is out of this world.

"Well then... one, two, three, four, five, I love you¹"

¹ 1 2 3 4 5 I LOVE YOU by The Bottom Blues

Faifah sings with her unique voice as cheerful music plays, amplifying the liveliness.

"Get up and dance."

The customers obey him as if under a spell and move to the rhythm of the music.
Even Kong and Kun join in, though they don't seem to enjoy it, they look like they're on the verge of tears.

My question is quickly answered as the tall boy turns to me.

One second, two seconds, three seconds...

The world slows down. He looks at me, and I look at him, holding our gazes. If this were a romance
movie, it would be the climax or the dream scene for many. But this isn't a romance movie. It all ends
when the tall boy looks at me with a look that tells me I should dance. If I don't, he won't sing.

Son of a bitch!

The bassist, guitarist, and drummer continue performing even if Faifah doesn't sing.

Everyone moves their bodies to the music, softly or furiously. Kong, Kun, Puri, J, and even Ben are
no different. I'm the only one left.

"Wine, Fai is waiting for you," Kong whispers in my ear, shaking his body.

"Yeah?"

"Dance for him or you won't get home."

"Let's dance together," the singer repeats. I look around, feeling terrible. If I don't dance, the song
will never end and no one will be able to leave. With that thought, I hold my breath and tentatively
move my body.

Here you go! I'm dancing now.

"You're the cutest," the rascal says into the microphone with delight.

"...Just you and me together

We are the only people in this world.

Whisper in my ear. Don't be shy.

I wonder how much you love me..."

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Fucking entertaining.

I once wondered how Faifah behaved in a place like this. He could be stern, solemn, or playboy. But really,
damn, he's beyond my imagination.

Is this the dark side Puri talked about today? If so, don't call it the dark side.

It's the strangest side I've ever witnessed. Sigh...

At least it's just a song. However, the Bright Lord of the Universe doesn't return to our table to chat with us
like before. A handsome young man who knows every soul passes by this table and that one, toasting
everyone.

"Is it always like this?" I ask an older man at our table, although I can guess the answer.

"Always. See that table?" Puri pouts, looking at the camera. I see the tall guy and a bearded man clinking
glasses with their arms around each other's necks, clapping loudly.

"Cheers, cheers, cheers! Drink it all!"

"If those two meet, they'll be drunk from the non-stop drinking game."

Faifah gulps down the drink and laughs with joy. What's so funny? When she returns to our table, the bar is
about to close. Has she forgotten her friends and colleagues were there?

"Sorry, guys. I ran into some friends."

"It's okay, buddy. We've gotten used to it," Kong says with a smile. "How come you're not drunk?"

"I'm worried about the freshmen," Faifah says, looking at me and my friends sitting stupidly.

"They only drank cola, so it's no problem. Take care of yourself. Why don't you leave the car here
and let us take you?"

"No, thank you. I'm not drunk. When I drank earlier, I kept it in my cheeks." Is he a human or a hamster?
His behavior is strange. However, I saw him swallow it all in one gulp.

"Shall we go now? The bar closes in ten minutes. We have to get these guys back to the dorm."

"Okay." The guy paying for us gestured to the waiter to come closer. The rest of us went to the bathroom
and got ready to go home. Faifah and I stayed, tasting each other.

"What are you looking at?" I ask, unable to bear his gaze.

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"To someone who doesn't know how to dance."

"Whew, who would be as good as you? Your waist almost dislocated." Faifah laughs,
looking shy. Doesn't he realize I'm being sarcastic?

"It was lovely, wasn't it? Otherwise, you wouldn't have had your eyes glued to me."

"How did you know?"

"I saw"

"How? You were constantly moving from one table to another"

"I have talent." Let me throw up.

It doesn't matter. I can't expect anything from him anyway. Our friends are returning to the
table. It's time to end this conversation and go.

Hearing that Mr. Bright drove his motorcycle here, I'm a little worried that he might stray off
the road.

"Big Little Wine." Faifah grabs my wrist with his large hand. It would have been an exciting
moment if he hadn't called me both big and small at the same time.

"Yeah?"

"Call me when you're in your bedroom."

"You're the one who should be calling me. In this state, you might not make it home."

"I'm fine, I'm not drunk at all, you understand?"

"I hope it's true."

"You talk like you're my boyfriend."

"Uh..." If I ever go out with anyone again, I hope it's not you. You're the only exception.

"Sorry for today."

"Because?"

"For not taking care of you and making you dance."

"I don't care. It was fun."

"Are you guys done saying goodbye? If not, I'll leave first. I'm really sleepy," Puri shouts from a
distance, hands on her hips. I finish saying this by waving at the guy in front of me. But when I turn around,
his low voice catches my attention again.

"Great Little Wine".

"Yeah?"

"Goodbye." Faifah waves his hand like a little boy. I answer briefly.

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"Yeah."

"Goodbyeeeee"

"Yes, goodbye."

He's acting like we're never going to see each other again. Oh my God.

I have no idea what other people's college life is like. Is it lively or lonely?
As for me and my fellow computer engineers, we can never find peace. There's another problem tonight.

"It's good that you're here. Can anyone recite prayers?"

"Huh? What happened?"

They ask me the question as soon as I get up the stairs. Everything is a chaos and a commotion that leaves
me perplexed. Without giving me time to ask, they lead me by the armpits to a room. The first thing I hear is
the groan of the room's owner.

She wraps her arms around her knees, trembles, and her eyes dart around in all directions as if she's seen
something she shouldn't have.

"Who can lead the prayers? Pae isn't well."

I'm stunned. What sentences...?

"I can feel its presence in my closet. Waaaaah, it's there."

The nerves in my body rattle, leaving me numb from head to toe. Those around the bed become nervous,
not daring to look at the old wardrobe, visibly terrified.

(Rrrr-Rrrr--)

Damn, in this critical situation, 'I've never seen anyone like that before,' he calls out. I'm scared of the ghost,
but I also have to answer because everyone's attention is focused on my ringing phone. Having no other
choice, I guess it's fate that brought him to save us from this situation.

"It's Faifah."

I tell my friends and answer with a trembling hand. Before I can utter a word, Ben, who is very afraid of
ghosts, lets out a scream.

"Faifah, please help us. My friend saw a ghost in his room."

Silence on the other end of the line. Faifah speaks calmly.

[Turns on the camera.]

"Okay." I obey and place my phone on the headboard so I can see everything.

[Stay calm, guys. Take a deep breath.] We follow Faifah's instructions before she continues. [Cross your
hands over your chest and repeat after me. Namo.]

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"Namo..."

[Let's do it again. I forgot about this. Ohmmmmm.]

"Ohmmmm."

[Umami.]

"Umamo."

[Wasabi.]

"Wasabi." The sentences sound strange.

Whatever. Since we're all scared, we repeat the same thing without protest. I don't know if it's the prayers or
a coincidence, but Pae suddenly calms down and stops shaking.
He is obviously calm.

"Dad, are you okay?" one of us asks worriedly.

"I can feel that he's gone"

"Wow, you're amazing, Faifah. Thank you. Thank you so much."

My friends almost bow down to him once the situation is resolved and he's back to normal. But since Pae is
still traumatized, his dormmates decide to keep him company for now. I grab my phone and head back to my
room to talk to the older guy.

"How did you do that?" Judging by the previous incident, Faifah is truly extraordinary. He must be a psychic!

[It's normal.]

"What's a ghost?"

[No, it was all in your friend's head. My generation experienced it too last year when we told each
other scary stories in a room and our imaginations ran wild. There's no need to be afraid.]

"I'm not scared," I say, looking around. Will I be able to sleep tonight? Maybe we'll bring our pillows and
blankets to sleep in Pae's room.

[Really? You look pale.]

"I'm just tired."

[Okay, then I'll hang up.]

"W...Wait. Stay with me for now."

[Come on, why are you scared? It's nothing. Goodbye.] Hang up. He loves me very much.

Faifah always puts a lot of effort into others, but never into me. It's true, I'm just her twin brother's insignificant
student. Besides, ghosts are nonsense and unreal. Just an illusion formed in our minds.

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Anyway, when's J coming back? If I go back to Pae's room, the boys will know I'm scared. I tell
myself it's nothing and take a shower.

I've seen a lot of horror movies. The most cliché scene is a ghost scaring you in the mirror or
touching your shoulder in the bathroom. I hate myself for imagining things when I'm scared. Today
I shower unusually quickly.

I put on my clothes and grab my phone to text J, but my eyes first fall on a text I received five
minutes ago.

'Get out of the bedroom. I'm waiting for you down here.'

I put on my sandals and run down the stairs. I walk out the front door and see the tall guy sitting on a bench
outside.

"Haven't you gone home?" Her charming face tilts upward.

"I'm back."

"Because?"

"To keep you company. You looked scared."

"I'm not afraid. J is here."

"Whatever you say. By the way, they're really cute pajamas." He looked at me. I ran downstairs
and completely forgot I was wearing the chick pajamas.

"Yotha gave them to me. I have to use them," I say, sitting next to the tall boy.
It's a quiet place, with the breeze hitting my face. A lot has happened tonight, and it's the first time
today I've felt relaxed.

"When are you leaving?"

"Wow, I just got here and you're already kicking me out," Faifah complains, looking really annoyed.

"It's one in the morning."

"Are you sleepy now?"

"Not yet."

"Then let's talk for a while."

"About what?" I just had a terrifying experience. My brain is still foggy. The man next to me
should be the one to start a topic.

"I remember you said your girlfriend broke up with you. Are you feeling better?" Wow, why
is she bringing this up of all the other topics?

"Yeah"

"Are you interested in anyone here?"

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"No. What about you?" Faifah shakes her head and stares at the stars like she's in a
romance movie, even though the sky is pitch black tonight and there are no stars to be seen.
Poor boy.

"I've been single all these years. Sometimes I get lonely..."

"..." How dramatic.

"But when I turn around, oh! I'm surrounded by many friends. I don't need a lover." He
blabbered all that only to end with a plot twist that he has many friends.

Okay, I understand your life has become crowded with other people. Busy taking care of your
friends, you barely have time for anything else. Why would you need a mistress?

"Being single suits you, I agree."

"Being single looks good on you too, I agree."

"Oh, are you hindering me?"

"Let me check them first. If they're no good, you can't go out with them."

"How good should they be?"

"Like me"

"Ah, I'd rather go out with someone who isn't as good as you. That would be too
special."

"It must be special. You must choose someone like me."

"Do you understand sarcasm?" Damn, his cheeky smile makes me extremely fed up.

"Remember when we told facts about ourselves?"

"Yes, yes."

"You haven't told me your fifth fact."

Why do you keep coming back to that? Well, I'm also wondering what your fifth fact is. I know
mine, but I'm not brave enough to say it now.

"You... go first."

"Me? Mm, I hate making decisions. If I could go back in time, I wouldn't choose between
Mom and Dad." His voice, expression, and eyes show seriousness, his weirdest side.

"How would you have lived?" I ask stupidly, not knowing what to expect.

"I don't know. I never thought about it. I just wouldn't choose," he replies firmly.
"You probably don't know that our parents divorced when Yotha and I were kids. We
had to choose who to live with. Yotha was terribly hurt that Mom didn't choose him,
and I was hurt that I wasn't given the chance to make my own decision."

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"You were a child. Now you can make your own decisions."

"Actually, it's the opposite. Now I'm afraid of deciding or choosing, so I just don't."

"..."

"Whether it's friends, being with two families, or being kind to someone"

"That's why you're kind to me."

I saw it with my own eyes the day Faifah offered to drive people to her house. She never plays
favorites. That's why it's better not to go out with anyone because that person would be in trouble.

You can't accept that your lover treats everyone the same. Deep down, you expect to be
treated more specifically.

"What's your fifth fact, Wine?"

"Mine...?" How do I begin? I hesitate whether to get this over with or stall until I'm sure
he can accept who I am. "I'm indecisive too."

Apparently I didn't say what I most wanted to say.

"Really?"

"Yes. One of the teachers asked me what my favorite subject was and I couldn't choose.
When I have to decide, I just can't do it and I always ask for opinions."

"So why did you choose to go with me instead of Yotha the first time we met?"

"Do you want the truth or a lie?"

"A lie."

"Because you were kind."

"And what about the truth?"

"The truth is, Yotha's boyfriend was probably waiting for it, so I went with you."

"Do you want to know why I offered you a ride?"

"Tell me the lie," I say before he even asks, impatiently.

"Because you are Yotha's student"

"What is the truth?"

"I thought you were cute, so I volunteered."

"Oh really?"

"Oh really."

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"From the bottom of your heart?"

"From the bottom of my heart."

Those aren't the eyes of a liar. Sometimes Faifah acts strange and annoying, but sometimes
she gives me good energy. No matter how much time passes, one of the things I'll never
forget is meeting this person.

Someone so bright, incredibly playful, optimistic, and also one of the few people who... makes
me feel incredibly warm around her.
*****

After visiting the lonely cat cafe with Faifah, I was hooked. Today, after school, I'll bring my two dear friends
here for no reason other than to enjoy the expensive coffee. Seriously.

"Wine, are you sure this is the right place?" Jenjob flips through the menu, checking to
see if the prices are just illusions.

"I am. They sell premium drinks."

"Why don't we share a cup?"

At first, I thought about that. Even worse, I considered holding each swallow in my mouth for
a long time before swallowing it to make it worthwhile.

"Why? Since I'm the number one mukbang YouTuber in a parallel universe, I should
order all the menus and record them." Ben is obsessed with creating content based on
this. Anything can be his YouTube videos.

"We have to place an order since we're here. Anyway, Wine, why this place?"

"Good drinks."

"Are you sure?"

"And... And beautiful decor. Look at their cool style."

"You mean this discordant decor? The first thing that catches my eye is that battered
tomato cushion." The tall friend pouts, looking at the old sofa cushion a few feet away.
"And how can it be a cat cafe if there are only a few of us? It doesn't seem like they
welcome us at all."

"They have a lot of good things, like..." I think of something to say and then I meet
someone's eyes. She's wearing a student uniform and a cafeteria apron. "That's Puri. She
works here."

"Wooow, how exciting"

"Good?"

"I was being sarcastic."

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"Just place your order. You'll like it."

"Aren't you here for another reason?"

"Nonsense. What other reason?" I say, scanning for someone. Luckily, the person
I've been looking for appears inside.

"Hey guys, how are you? What a coincidence!"

"Hello, Faifah."

"This is the perfect time. Can I sit with you?"

"Sure."

"Puri, an iced Americano without syrup"

"Come do it yourself."

"I'll just serve. You make it." After that brief conversation, Faifah returns to our table
with a notepad and pen. "What would you like?"

"Wow, you work here?" J asks excitedly.

"No, I'm just helping Puri."

"You're not helping me. You're bothering me, you son of a bitch," Puri shouts.
They argue for a moment before Faifah takes our order.

Once we've placed our order, we wait. Meanwhile, everything is going as I imagined.
Mr. Brilliant, who never sits still, greets and catches up with everyone. His laugh lights
up the world, as expected of a sociable person.

"Is there anyone who doesn't know him?" my friend whispers curiously. I answer in a firm voice.

"I doubt it."

"At first, I wanted to be like him, to be recognized everywhere, but now I'm backing
off. It seems exhausting."

"I agree"

We read manga and chatted casually for an hour. When I look back, I still see the man
walking with his long legs. He has so much energy that I wonder if he's a human or a
robot.

While J goes to the bathroom and Benjie is lying on the couch, I walk over to the bar
counter where the barista and waiter are.
"Puri."

"Yes, Wine?" he replies with a friendly smile, lifting his head from his phone.

"An Americano, please."

"Sweet?"

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"No syrup."

"Okay. On that."

Puri immediately serves the coffee. As expected, Faifah follows Puri, smiling despite her sweaty
face.

"Sorry. I got back to seeing the people I knew. Now I'm ready to sit down and chat.
Anyway..." He looks at the American and blinks in bewilderment.

"Is this for me?"

"The old one melted and I drank it so it wouldn't go to waste. This is the new one. Cold and new."

"Wine"

"Hmm?"

"Wine."

"What is it?"

"This is the first time," he murmurs, "that someone has done this for me."

"You're exaggerating."

"Seriously, I've been looking out for others, but no one has been this attentive to me."

How fucking dramatic. Isn't that normal? I'd do this for any friend.

Maybe it's because he's always treated people well and been generous, and people expect me
to just receive from him without considering that he might want the same. Faifah showed me that
side today.

"It's a pleasure. You take care of the others. I'll take care of you."

"Wah~" Faifah pouts, on the verge of tears, and suddenly lunges forward. She wraps her arms around my
waist and buries her face in my chest as if I were her mother.

What an embarrassing sight. The other customers, including my friend at the table, scratch their heads in
confusion.

I almost had to fight to get his sticky hands off me.

"You said you would take care of me"

"Yeah"

"I'll take good care of you too. Now that I'm here, let's take a picture."

Faifah is up to something again after a few seconds of peace, and excitedly asks us to collect
souvenirs. My friends smile dryly while I cry inside because I can't change my mood just like that.

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"Why don't you drink the coffee first? It'll melt again," I suggest. Don't say I didn't warn you.

"Let's take a quick photo. Come sit next to me."

"Why don't we ask someone or Puri to take it?" I voice my idea. Faifah turns her beautiful face and stares
at me, unblinking, puzzled. I explain, "I'm afraid it'll come out blurry like last time."

"I've never taken blurry photos." Now that's confidence.

"When I had lunch with my mentor, I didn't realize it was Yotha and me in the photo.
The plant in the background looked much clearer." My computer engineer friends teased me for days.
Let's not repeat history.

"That was on purpose"

"Was that a joke?"

"Haha, I took a lot of good shots."

"Uggggggh."

"You can trust me. Get in the box, boys."

"Alright."

JJ, Benjie, and I obediently move into frame. The man in the center sets the mood with his high-pitched
voice, as always.

"Say mangosteen."

"Mangosteeeen."

"Say longan"

"Longaaan."

"Say dragon fruit."

"Dragon fruit." What's with all this fruit? It's a whole garden. Even though he's running out of fruit, I follow
him, afraid he won't let us go until he's finished. He takes tons of photos until the café closes.

"Faifah," I approach the tall boy who is cleaning the table alone in a corner.

"What's up, Big Little Wine, Warat, Wisawa Aunarun?" You don't need to say all the names.

"Are you making fun of me?"

"No." I hate the way he moves his eyebrows as he answers. What's wrong with him? Is he having spasms?
"What's wrong?"

"Can you send me the photos?"

"I did it."

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"Not from today. I mean the photo of me having lunch with my mentor to show my family."

"Oh, I understand."

"Thank you."

DING!

Faifah sends me the photos within a minute. I look at them and discover that Yotha doesn't
appear in any of the dozens of photos, except for the blurry one her twin brother tagged us in
on Facebook.

"Faifah."

"Hmm?"

"Is there no photo with Yotha's face clearly visible?"

My parents want to see the picture of the Angel Gear Code, not a blurry one.

"Sorry, there's only one. However, the others are clear."

No doubt! But only my face is clear.

I wonder why he did that. In all these photos, my face is clearly visible in Full HD.
Some even zoom in on the wrinkles on my neck. Was she playing with me?

"Oh, why are there only pictures of me?"

"Because I just took pictures of you. What's wrong with that?"

"Just me?"

"Yes, yes."

"Because?"

"Just as a prank"

"Tell me the truth."

Faifah exhales a sigh and suddenly comes up to me. She stares at me as I blink stupidly.

"I don't know. Yotha just looked annoyed in the painting. Same with the plant and the
plates."

I try my best not to show any emotion.

"But when you smiled, my frustration disappeared."

"..."

"So I just took pictures of you. I felt really comfortable."

My heart is racing...

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When I hear his words echoing in the air.

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CHAPTER 05: DID YOU CHANGED OR

DID SOMEONE CHANGE YOU?
Days go by and things change. The same thing happens with human emotions.

It seems like only yesterday we met at the Japanese restaurant. I followed this man to his car
and witnessed how he treated everyone in his unique way.

Without realizing it, I became friends with Mr. Bright after sharing information about us. I saw the way he
cared for others and was touched when they treated him the same way. He's also seen almost all of me, but
he hasn't revealed this to me.

...I'm gay. I like men and I fall in love with them.

What a simple and practically difficult phrase to reveal. What do I do? How do I tell him I'm not
who he thinks I am?

I don't want to hide it anymore. I want to maintain our good relationship. If I tell him, I could lose
everything. It's rare to find a good and strange brother like Faifah.

It is a rare object in my life.

"Mr. Wisawa."

"..."

"Wine, asshole"

"Huh? What?" I stop pacing around my bed.

"You didn't answer. Who were you thinking of?"

"Mind your own business," I follow J, shrugging, unfazed by my response. He's leaning
against the headboard while surfing the internet on his phone. "Say what you want to say."

"I checked Tor's Facebook account"

I pause at the mention of that name in my precious memory.

Since Toey broke up with me, he deleted all my contacts and his brother did the same.
So I have no idea how he's been doing. Only J keeps me up to date on other people's business.

"I don't care." When it comes to Tor, there's only pain after my brain processes the information.

He's in a relationship with a girl. There's no hope for us.

"You have to do it," that bastard insists.

"I don't want to know how in love he is with his girlfriend. It hurts."

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"It's quite the opposite. Let me tell you, his relationship with his girlfriend is..." I
wait in anticipation before he continues. "...broken."

"Fuck!" My heart beats hard, but only for a few seconds.

So what? If they break up, he'll look for another girl. Knowing this, J stops there.

"Why are you restless?"

"Nothing."

"If you tell that lie to a dog, it will tilt its head in disbelief." Shut up. It bothers me so
much I'd like to change rooms. Still, I can't deny that Jenjob is everything in my life
despite his terrible advice.

"What do you think if I tell you?"

"Who? Ben?"
"He too"

"It's not him, huh? I guess it's someone you love a lot."

"Something like that."

"Let me guess again, I bet it's Faifah." Damn, it's like he's sitting in my head. I could
win the lottery if I ever bought one. He knows me well, as expected of my longtime
friend. Anyone else would have guessed it was my family.

But seriously, what scares me most is that my family won't accept me. It'll take a lot of
courage, which I don't have right now.

My best friend lets me drown in my thoughts for a moment before continuing.

"You have nothing to worry about. I'm sure he'll accept you. His twin brother and
one of his best friends are dating. Not to mention his classmate."

"Your apprentice? Pin?"

"Yes, Pin has a girlfriend." Incredible! When Faifah said her partner had picked her up
from dinner, I concluded it was a boyfriend. The new information made me understand
several things. However, the fact that Pin is dating a girl doesn't ease my concern.

"Just because I can accept anyone doesn't mean I'll be accepted." My voice trails
off.

"Why wouldn't I accept you? Unless you like me."

"Nonsense."

"Don't think about it too much then."

"I'm going to try not to do it."

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"Ease my curiosity, will you? Why do you want to talk to Faifah if you haven't
known him for long?"

"I felt it from that moment..." It all plays out in my head, starting from the first day we
met, the day we became closer, and all those days that ended with headaches.

It was like a roller coaster that climbed to the top, falling at great speed and spinning
along the rail, shaking the hearts of the passengers.

"Are you impressed that I scared off Pae's ghost? Seriously, Faifah is scarier
than ghosts."

"It's not like that." How did he stray into the phantom night? How the hell? "He's
been so kind to me, so I want to maintain our relationship. At least I won't have
to hide it from him until the day he finds out for himself."

I'd rather tell you myself. No matter what happens, it has to be me.

"Anyway, when are you going to tell your parents?"

"When you're ready."

In this life or the next?

"Preferably the next one," he taps his forehead.

"Your parents are very kind. You know, even if they never expect you to succeed,
they're proud of you as their son." Those words touched my heart. If I could go back
in time, I would write down every word exactly.

"Huu, why are you saying such nice things today?"

"It's from a book of quotes." Fuck, I'm speechless. I shouldn't have expected much
from him. "But don't worry. I'll help you."

"It's okay. You don't have to do that."

"Hey, we're friends."

Since he's my friend, I feel like his help could be disastrous. 'Will it work?' is the first
question that pops into my head.

After pouring my heart out to Jenjob, my best friend, I wanted to reveal my secret to
the important people around me, one by one. No matter how brave it must be or how
painful it is to see their disappointed eyes, I must accept it.

This is part of growing up, isn't it?

If so, I hope good things await me in the end. Perhaps those around me will accept me.
Or even better...

I can accept myself without hiding it from anyone.

*****

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"Where is Faifah? Did she dissolve into thin air?"

"How would I know? Maybe Thanos snapped his fingers?"

I was born into constant misfortune. I was determined to confess it to him a few days ago. But damn, I
haven't seen him in a week. We ran into each other all the time, and I could see pictures of him on my phone.
Facebook bars. Now, there's nothing. It's gone, as if it never existed.

"How about we go to the cafe where Puri works today? Faifah might be there," J suggests. It's
not bad, it's just a pain.

"I went there so many times I ran out of money." They sell very expensive drinks. I even asked
for water to drink while watching the cats over the last few days.

"Why do you have such a long face? How about we make a collaboration video with me?"
Benjie says cheerfully, grabbing my shoulders from behind. This guy has no idea. His only passion is
getting a million subscribers soon.

"I'll pass," I say. J nods.

"What's wrong? Tell me."

"Ben, have you seen Faifah lately?"

"Yeah."

"Where?" My limbs twitch automatically as I turn around and hold my friend's hands in hope. With
no social media updates and no answer to my calls, I'm at a dead end.

"The university's activity room. Don't you know he's supervising the Prince and Princess
contest?"

"How would I know? I don't care about that stuff." I don't even know when the Engineer Prince
and Princess were cast.

"Yeah, it doesn't matter. But why are you two looking for him?"

"Nothing!"

"We have to talk about something!"

Wow, those are two different things. I nudge my tall friend, and he gives me a knowing look. Can you
answer the questions the same way?

"Is there something or not?" Ben asks sternly, crossing his arms over his chest.

I count one, two, three... in my mind.

"Yeah."

"No."

Damn, we're contradicting ourselves again. This sucks.

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"They are acting suspiciously"

"Who? You're overthinking it," I say in a shaky voice, more nervous than anyone.

"I guess I'm overthinking it," Ben mumbles, letting himself go. This time, J and I nod
together after all the contradictions. "Okay."

"..."

"Do you want to do a collaboration video with me on my channel?"

"I said no!"

After calculus class, we have an hour before heading to the general building. In the hallway
between the buildings, I run into the man I've been looking for all morning. The tall guy is
wearing the workshop T-shirt and the black backpack that's already familiar to me.
me, and walks with a group of friends.

My heart is pounding, almost bursting out of my chest. I contain my excitement and walk
forward, closing the distance. Once I'm in front of him, I gather my courage and say the
same thing as always.

"Do..."

My voice trails off before I finish the sentence. Instead of greeting me, he walks past me as if he hadn't seen
me.

Her charming face is unusually devoid of emotions, making me wonder if this is reality or a dream.

Honestly, I feel hurt.

"Was Yotha the guy walking past us?" my tall friend asks, tapping me on the shoulder.
He's just as confused.

"No. Look at the color of his hair." Still, even without the smoky gray hair, the way he
walks, his eyes, and his aura indicate that he is unmistakably the younger twin.

"What's wrong with him? He seems different."

I shake my head, unable to respond. All I can do is... keep walking.

I'd been looking everywhere for him, but he always appeared suddenly. It was bad enough
that he ignored me in the hallway. This time, it was the engineering cafeteria.

"Hey, Fai is there."

I drop my bag on the long, empty table and turn to the guy J mentioned. What do I do? Since
I don't want to say hello and embarrass myself again, I keep what I want to say to myself.

"Whatever."

"Go talk to him. Maybe he didn't see you at the time."

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"I'm a human, not a spirit. If he didn't see me walking straight toward him, then he had a problem." I
wandered off to look for food, trying not to hold that memory in my mind.

The engineering cafeteria is always packed at lunchtime. The food stalls have long, coiling
lines like snakes. I'm also obsessed with this lady's friendly-priced food. Every time the line
gets shorter, I pray there's still crispy pork with kale. I've missed it for days. Today must be
my day.

I try to crane my neck to see the menus, but I still can't see them. I stand on my tiptoes, my
ligaments straining.

Shit!

"Sorry," I say, alarmed. I lose my balance and step on the foot of the person behind me.
The craziest thing is that the owner of that big foot is Faifah. "Wh...when did you get
here?"

It appeared out of nowhere. I thought I was being chased by a ghost in broad daylight.

"Just a little while ago," he says with a straight face and falls silent. His atypical behavior
raises questions in my mind.

"Something wrong?"

"No."

I hate the deathly silence. Fortunately, it's finally my turn, allowing me to escape this
awkward situation.

"What do you want, son?" the lady asks patiently. She remembers me as a regular and
always gives me large portions.

"Crispy pork with kale, please."

"Sure. A fried egg?" I shake my head and step to the side to receive my food, while
listening to another conversation.

"What about you?"

"Five-spice eggs and fried pork, please."

Faifah orders, pays, and takes her plate without greeting me or saying anything.

If it had been before, he would have talked to me nonstop or asked me what I wanted with
a smile. He always asked others what they wanted and even let them cut in front of him.

Today everything has changed drastically. Faifah no longer behaves like this only with me,
ignoring everyone who passes by.

This version of Faifah is terribly ruthless.

*****

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We met in the hallway, in the engineering cafeteria, and now, even on the stairs...

I have a bright vision of Spiderman or something. Holding a thick stack of all the group's
assignments in my arms, I see the tall guy walking toward us from a distance. He's walking fast,
almost flying.

If I'm not imagining it, I think he's reaching out to help me, but when he gets close, he jerks them
back, extinguishing my spark of hope.

I have no idea what he's going through and I'll never know if he just keeps quiet and acts like this.

"Hey, Faifah" Another attempt at... greeting him.

"Hey, Wine"

He stops a step lower and we are at eye level with each other.

"It's been a while since we talked."

"Yes. Where are you going?"

"Send all these assignments to the science department."

"That's way off. I'll give you a s—" His voice trails off and his face changes. He was going to
smile, but then he went expressionless again. "I just remembered I have classes."

"Okay. Ben will drive me."

"Then I'm off. To class."

"It's noon."

"It's a special class for one and only one. Goodbye."

Faifah leaves before I can say goodbye.

Sigh~ I sigh and keep walking, even though my mind is stuck on this person. I recently thought it
was a misfortune for me to know someone like him, but I felt very lonely without him for a while.
That's the main reason why I hope to tell him my
secret.

To keep our relationship honest, at least.

Anyway, even though I don't want to lose him, if one day he doesn't love me, there's nothing I can
do but accept it.

Sweet Song Café has become a regular spot for my friends and me after searching for Faifah all
week. Despite the expensive drinks and desserts, we're addicted to this place and know her
songs, sometimes good and sometimes bad.

J was shocked to see Faifah jogging alone in the stadium, saying the world must be doomed
because normally a ton of people would follow him. Seriously, the world could have been doomed
last week when Faifah ignored everyone. And I got tired of trying to figure out the answer.

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"Hello." I always greet the barista at the counter when I walk into the café. Puri is working his shift that day.

"Hey, guys. Hang on a second, I'll go get your order."

Puri answers briefly and continues making coffee. My friends and I try to choose a table among
the countless empty ones and finally sit at the window table without hogging the cats' seats.

" What would you like?"

"Oh, Faifah, are you helping Puri today?" I'm surprised when the person who shows up isn't
the barista I thought he was. I'm stunned, completely speechless. J notices and says hello for us.

"Yes," his voice sounds distant. "What would you like to order? We also have freshly baked
goods today."

"I'll have a large matcha frappe with lots of whipped cream."

"And what would you like?" Faifah stares at me, marking the beginning of a war of nerves.

"The usual."

"Excuse me. I'm not sure what your usual is."

He's on it...

"An iced latte, please," I say firmly.

"But you always ordered iced chocolate, didn't you?" Faifah pauses and clears her throat.
"Oh, I get it. Anything else?"

"That's all."

"Okay. I'll repeat the menus. A large matcha smoothie with whipped cream and an iced cocoa shake."

"It's not cocoa, it's coffee with milk"

"Oh, my fault. It's just iced cocoa."

"A coffee with milk."

"Okay, okay, a coffee with milk."

Faifah writes it down in a panic. Unable to laugh or cry, I glance at the guy from time to time while chatting
with J.

"Hey, Wine, do you think Fai is acting strange? He seems deranged, like he's possessed."

"It's not just you who's thinking that. I still can't understand it."

"What are you going to do?"

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"I'm going to mess with him"

"As?"

"I'm going to order another coffee with milk."

I bet he'll continue to argue that cocoa, cocoa, and cocoa are my regular menu. This is fun.

*****

I prefer the bedroom bookstore to the giant bookstore because it's more inviting and full of rare
books. Plus, it's almost empty. I want to be one of the customers who supports this business and
prevents it from closing.

Of all the positive points, I forgot this drawback.

If you run into someone who doesn't want to see you, it'll be hard to avoid them. The place is soooo
small. You're bound to bump into each other from time to time.

What do I do? I open the door and find him like this. We stare stupidly into each other's eyes,
neither of us saying anything. Maybe it's better to act like we don't know each other like he wants
instead of being shamefully ignored.

With that thought in mind, I head to the academic section. My friend recommended this book,
which I clearly remember because of its bright red cover. I start scanning the shelf and find it. I
pick it up.

"They say this book is good."

Oh!!

He appears out of nowhere like a ghost. How long has he been following me? I just see him reach
for another book on the shelf and hand it to me.

"But there's a book that's easier to digest and has exercises at the end of each chapter.
This one..."

"I've heard many older people talk about this book. Thank you." I accept the book.
Apparently, he realizes he's done something wrong and changes his attitude.

"You are welcome"

"Are you buying manga?" I don't mean to be nosy, but there it is. The story is one of the titles
I'm reading.

"Yeah."

"It's very good. I'm reading it too."

"Where are you? Did you read when the kitten transforms? That was crazy."

How funny. Damn, you keep stuttering. It's like he can only keep a straight face for a few seconds
before he goes back to being Mr. Bright. I wonder why.

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He's forcing it when he looks visibly unhappy, but I don't dare ask. Let's play along.

"Yes. Everyone talks about that part. But the chapter ends with the kitten transforming into a boy with
superpowers. I'm waiting for the next volume just like you."

"I pulled the new volume off that shelf." Faifah points to the manga section with her long
finger.

I thank him with a smile and head to the section.

As I browse, I get startled.

"Shit!" His head suddenly pops up through a gap on the other side of the shelf, startling
me greatly. Are you crazy? When did you get there?

"Why are you looking at me?"

"I don't. Aren't you imagining it?"

"Ah..." Your actions say it all.

"Did you find it?"

"That?"

"The manga."

"Do you want to talk to me?"

He falls silent from the other end. I stop pressing him and look for the latest volume of the
manga. But, being the unlucky man that I am, I can't find it no matter how hard I try. I walk
over to the checkout counter.

"Excuse me, do you have the twelfth volume of Kitty Cat's Milky Way Adventure?"

"Let me check that for a second."

I wait patiently for him to lock it. Judging by his disappointed expression, I realize I'm not
lucky enough to add it to my list of possessions.

"It's sold out, isn't it?"

"We actually had one in stock, but..."

I know. The last copy is in Faifah's hands.

"Okay," I mutter to myself. I continue browsing for other interesting books for I don't know
how long and no longer pay attention to the tall senior in the store. All I know is that J keeps
texting me.

I grab another book and head to the checkout. What a great moment! I run into the obsessed Mr. Brilliant
again.

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"You pay first."

"Hmm"

If it had been before, Faifah would have let me skip the line instantly, but not this time. She saves herself the
courtesy and passes the book and membership card to the cashier. While I wait, I answer my best friend's
text, afraid he'll get angry if I walk back to our room any slower.

"Leave your books here," Faifah is gone when I look up.

"These two"

"This is three hundred and ninety."

"Here you go." I hand her my money, wait for her to put it in a bag, and get ready to leave. The cashier
stops me.

"I almost forgot. The other customer left this for you."

"Sorry?"

She gives me a book, the latest volume of the manga I mentioned and asked her about earlier.

"It's the last copy you ordered."

For me, Faifah is still Faifah.

He may pretend to act cold, but there's no denying that his true self always treats others well.

*****

"How long are you going to keep looking at your phone?"

"Mind your own business."

"It's strange that Faifah hasn't video-called you lately."

My feet are free. I guess I can use them to kick my friend in the mouth. Everything he says makes me sigh.

"Why is this weird? He's hardly ever video-called me."

Lately, I haven't been able to sleep without looking at my phone, probably because I got used to talking to
someone on the phone. When I stopped, I felt like there was a void in my chest. It's gotten worse in the last
few days because I started looking at my phone even when I was out.

I'm like a dog waiting for its owner to appear on the screen. Hoooowl~

"Oh, really? He used to call you every day. I guess I was dreaming." You cruel jerk, you get straight to
the point. "Have you found a chance to confess to him?"

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"Let's exchange more than five sentences first. I think something bad must have
happened to him recently."

"The same thing happens to me. And it's not just you, it's everyone."

"It's worse than how he treats me."

"Are you trying to be Yotha?"

"Because?"

"How can I know? If you want to know, call him and ask."

"Do you know what happened when I called him last time?" Here comes the classic,
"The number you're trying to call is unavailable..." It hurts like hell.

"Try again."

"Why me? Why don't you do it, Jenjob?"

"You're close to him, Wisawa"

"Ugh, he's close to everyone in the world, not just me." Not bothering to argue further, I
leave the cafe to get some fresh air.

And I hate myself for carrying my phone around, even though I'm trying to act like the star of a music video.
It's not that I want to know what's wrong with it. I'm not worried in the least.

But, whoops! It was my fault. My hand slipped, and I accidentally opened my contact list.
My body behaves on its own, so I should be fine. It would be best to call him.

[Hello?] says the familiar voice shortly after.

"Y... you never answered my call. Haha." I was puzzled, hoping she wouldn't answer like
she had before.

[I was busy.]

"Am I bothering you?"

[We can talk.]

"You seem to be behaving differently lately. Can I help you with anything?"
"I don't really want to pry, but I'm worried you have an unresolved issue you've been
carrying on your own," I say, pacing dizzily, hoping, deep down, that he'll spill his guts.

[I'm fine.]

But yes, it's just an illusion. I should know my place.

"That's a relief to hear. Well... that's all. I won't bother you anymore."

[W...Wait.] Faifah urgently interrupts before I hang up. I hold my phone right there. [Have
you had dinner?]

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"No."

[Don't skip meals. It's bad for your stomach.]

"Thank you for your concern."

[Puri told me to say it.]

"Oh, I see you're with him. Thank Puri for me."

[Yes. Goodbye.]

"Goodbye." I hang up and pace for several minutes. Once I understand this clearly, I turn around, push
open the door, and walk into the cafe.

"That's so typical of you, Faifah..."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" the tall friend asks.

"Nothing."

I lean back in my seat and quickly glance over at the counter, where the aforementioned friend, the barista,
is laughing to himself over his phone. From the sounds of it, he sounds like he's watching an international
variety show. When did Faifah speak to him?

A feeling grows in my heart. Indescribable, but good.

I can't believe someone has such an impact on me. I feel sad, uncomfortable, and sometimes happy for him.
If I were more selfish, I'd wish I had him for myself.

But since he doesn't belong to anyone, I remind myself repeatedly not to be too happy when he treats me
well.

"Hey, guys, we'll have new desserts and drinks starting tomorrow." I'm jolted back to reality when Puri
approaches our table and places the menu on it. "The owner adjusted the menus and prices. Take a
look. There are drinks with the same prices and cheaper ones."

The moment J and I see each issue, our eyes sparkle as if we've discovered a treasure.

"Unbelievable. I'm going to cry. There's cocoa for fifty baht. I need an inhaler." Premium ingredients
are unnecessary. It's better to sell something students can afford.

"From now on you can study here"

"With these alternatives and low prices, the cafe will attract more customers."

"I wish. Well... the previous marketing was a disaster. Thank goodness Fai suggested the idea and
Big Brother Mee finally got it."

"Faifah?"

"Yeah. He's been acting weird lately. I don't know what the hell is wrong with him," Puri mutters to
himself. He's not the only one wondering. Everyone wants to know too.

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know what happened, but no one can explain it to us. If your closest friend doesn't have a
clue, a freshman like me doesn't stand a chance. "Enjoy, guys. I'll go get more orders."

"Sure"
*****

On this hot, bustling day, with the building packed with students, I feel like I'm walking through hell. Suddenly,
an image of someone pops into my head. He's smiling at everyone around him on this scorching day. Sadly,
I'll never see that smile again.

"Wine, why do you look like you're about to cry?" Ugh, I thought about all that, and
tears started to well up in my eyes. I wiped my face and smiled at the second-year curiosity
expert.

"Hey."

"Go away, hey, that bastard Kun."

"Fuck you, bastard"

They keep going. These two together are a real pain in the ass.

"Are you going to use this room now?" Kun asks. I nod.

"Yes, the air conditioner in the previous room broke, so we moved here."

And we bumped into these kids who were studying in this room before us. The engineering
world is small. We bump into each other and rarely get the chance to meet students from
other departments. Maybe there have been several encounters, and I'm the only one who
doesn't attract anyone.

"The air conditioning in this room isn't even good. Otherwise, my armpits wouldn't
be so wet," says Mr. Kongkiet, waving his arms to spread the scent to his classmates and
his friend. Now I understand why he's so close to Faifah.
They look exactly the same. Sigh~

They joke around all the time. Seriousness is very rare among them.

"Hey, can I ask you something?"

"Of course. If it's other people, I'm always ready to respond." They're very smart. I'm
lucky to have seen them. The determination in their eyes is something special.
Obviously, that's his specialty.

"What's wrong with Faifah lately? She seems... different."

"Sigh~~~" Isn't that a bit of a deep sigh? "My head hurts every time we talk about this.
It caused trouble last week. I won't give you the details.
"Ask him yourself."

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"I dare not. I find it difficult to understand right now."

"Even so, it'll be easy if you're willing to understand." Kun pats me on the shoulder
encouragingly, though his words confuse me. I tried my best to understand Faifah, but
he never gave me the chance.

It's like I'm trying to solve a math problem without equations. I have no idea where to
start.

"Wine, I know you're close to Faifah. If you ever talk to him, he might resist at first.
But trust me. He'll tell you everything sooner or later."

"You're overestimating me. He barely says hello when we cross paths these days."

"Come on, things will get better." Instead of touching my shoulder, this time he pats
me on the head. Seriously, he doesn't have to touch me. He's just talking. "We're leaving."

"To the next class?"

"No, Kong and I will go get some paracetamol."

"Because? "

"We're stressed. We're stressed because of Faifahhhhhhh."

Well!

One person is a problem for everyone in the department. That's a talent. Even I can't
stop thinking about it.

Yesterday there were two pieces of good news. The first was sudden. The second was well-known, but it still
moved me.

The first news was that Pae contacted the dormitory supervisor to ask permission to
invite the monks to chase away the ghost from his room. Accordingly, we gathered in his
room to participate in the ceremony and pour holy water to cleanse the sinister things.

I have no idea if my friend actually saw a ghost or just imagined it. Either way, it became
a hot topic in the department that morning. There's even an article on the engineering
website titled "A computer engineering student and the ghost in his closet," to pass the
legend on to future generations.

The second piece of news was that Jenjob's plan had been fulfilled. Every day after
meals, he had asked his parents to buy him a motorcycle.
Finally, the elegant motorcycle was delivered to the dormitory yesterday afternoon.
Honestly, we didn't want to bother Ben too often. Even if we could take a motorbike taxi to nearby places,
traveling within the university would be troublesome. Having a vehicle would be much more convenient.

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As a result, J was very excited and let off steam by taking Benjie for a walk around the
university to celebrate his achievement. It's been three hours, and I don't know if they've fallen
into the water somewhere. With no other option, I have to eat alone.

This tortilla place is one of my favorite places, within walking distance. I can take a bus
from inside the university to the gate and walk a bit to get there.
The place is always packed at this time. Fortunately, there's an empty table. I sit there and
choose from the menu.

"Can I sit with you?"

"Of course." I stiffen and look at the person sitting across from me as I write down how I
like my omelet.

I swallow aloud, my brain suddenly going blank, forgetting what I'm going to write next. One
of the people with the most unfortunate events in the world is, without a doubt, me. And
one of the people with the most coincidences is also me.

"What are you ordering?" the charming boy asks in a monotone, leaning closer.

"A...A tortilla with rice."

I stutter and write "an omelet with carrot strips" four times.

"I know. This is an omelet place. What kind of omelet? What do you add? Minced
pork or pork sausage?" Damn, I can't believe he's telling me such a long sentence. He
used to be so stingy with words.

"Sliced carrots. I'm deciding whether to add minced pork."

"Do it, it's very good."

Who is this for?

"You."

"Then I'll add minced pork."

"Double it for me."

He's acting stranger than usual, going from happy to serious.

Are you filming a show or something? Some people record themselves pranking their
friends or the people around them for entertainment and then upload it to their channels.
Even Ben once asked me to join him.

"Are you not going to ignore me anymore?"

"What? Who's ignoring you? No way~"

"If you say so." I write out the menus for both of us and give the order to the lady at the bar.
When I return to the table, to my surprise, Faifah is waiting for me with two self-service glasses of water.

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"Take it." He slides one glass toward me and places the other next to his hand.

"Thank you"

"I didn't bring it for you. I usually drink two glasses at a time so I don't have to get up so often."

"Okay. I'll go get mine." I'm about to give the glass back to him, but he gets dramatic.

"No! I gave it to you. You have to drink it. You have to."

He pretends he doesn't care when he really wants to be nice to me. I guess these kinds of people exist. The
more he talks, the funnier he gets. I can't stop laughing no matter how hard I try.

"What are you laughing at, Wine?"

"You. Thank you. Even though you've been pretending to ignore everyone, you always try to do good
things."

"Who does that?"

"Were you caught unaware?"

"I've never done anything good to you," Faifah looks away, playing dumb in an annoying way.

"And that time? You seemed to want to help me with my homework. You remembered my usual menu.
And at the bookstore, why did you sacrifice the last copy and even recommend a good textbook? And
just now..."

"..."

"You brought me a glass of water when it wasn't necessary."

"You're so full of yourself. It's all in your head, boy."

"Okay, if you say so."

"Oh, how can you just accept it like that? Keep answering. Come on. Her nerve is coming back."
shouldn't have unleashed her persistent side.

The lady serves us tortillas and saves me with the bell. I change the subject, eat, and observe the surroundings.
The soap opera is on after the news. The characters are slapping each other. I do everything except look at
Faifah.

"Wine."

"..."

"Wine, Wisawa Aunarun".

"You don't have to say my full name, Faifah Thanawanyotha. " Who the hell has "yotha" at the end of their
last name? Have you ever been offended because your last name includes your twin brother's name?

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I break away from my train of thought to focus on the conversation at hand.

"The thing is... the thing is..."

"If you don't say so, I'll eat and leave. I have to make noodles as an offering to the ghost in Pae's
room."

"Is the ghost real?"

"Just kidding. Get to the point, will you?" He always goes off topic before we can even talk. Even when
he's about to get back on topic, he goes off track again. Always making stupid mistakes.

"I've been trying these past few weeks, but it was especially hard with you."

"..."

"So hard. Fucking hard..." Faifah leans over and bangs his head against the table over and over again.
The people at the next table stare at him. Unsure of what to do, I stroke his head comfortingly and smile
shyly at everyone around us.

"Faifah, lift your head. You're going to break your forehead."

"It's very difficult for me"

"I have no idea what you're going through, but I'll always be by your side, okay?"

Faifah looks up, pouts horribly, and bursts into pitiful tears. What a shocking sight. I never imagined I'd
witness her manly tears flowing.

"Big Little Wine, why are you so nice to me? Hic... huuuuu."

I hand her a tissue from the table. Faifah shakes her head and speaks in a shaky voice.

"It's okay. I'm not crying. I'm not crying."

So who the hell is crying in front of me? People are watching. The more I stroke his head, the louder he
cries.

"Calm down."

"Take this. Take it all." The tall guy, not listening to me, dramatically pours his omelet onto my plate without
stopping.

"Uh... Isn't that too much?" The whole omelet? Will it be okay with just rice?

"I want to reward you for being by my side"

"I still don't know what's going on."

"It's suffocating."

Leave it..

"It hurts so much that my heart is blistering."

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Let it be...

"I can't stand the pain for even a second."

Let him babble. Goodbyeeeeeees. His vocabulary expands every time he gets excited. I feel
the urge to bang my head on the table, but the lady might have to call an ambulance. So I
handle the situation calmly.

It takes me a while to calm Faifah, who almost floods the room with her tears.

"Do you think the way I act gives people hope?"

"I don't know. Sometimes, maybe."

"I see everyone I meet as a friend, but am I causing them to misunderstand me?"

I have no better answer than silence.

Because it's all true. Faifah may not have feelings for anyone, but her words, her caring
actions, and her special treatment could give the wrong impression.

It was something that had to happen, although I didn't expect to hear it from him.

"For the past two weeks, I've tried not to be nice to anyone to avoid hurting people
with my actions," I listen silently as he mentions the cause of the problem.
"But the more I ignored everyone, the more forced I felt."

"I understand."

"Wine."

"Yeah?"

"Let me ask you: What's better, being nice to everyone or being me right now?"

"I don't know how others feel, but if I have a choice, I prefer the old you."

It may sound selfish and horrible, but that's how I feel.

He made me laugh on stressful days. He was warm, kind, and generous. He helped me
when I was feeling down, he pulled me out of my little world, and I learned a lot from it.

He made me feel like life as a freshman was precious and realize how horrible it was without
him.

"It's not because of how kind you were to others."

"..."

"But you were very kind to me back then."

At this moment, I understand something. Now that I stand still and hold his gaze.

If he ignored everyone in the world, could I be the only exception...?

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CHAPTER 06: CAN'T YOU

FINDING THE MIDDLE GROUND?
"I hurt someone. No, I hurt a lot of people."

The epic story of the misprint has been repeated for the third time. Yes! The third time.
My friend called me, but I couldn't leave, trapped in listening to Faifah's miserable life.

"Apologize to them then," I say for the millionth time, not knowing if he understands anything,
worried that his complaints will drag on.

"Yes, but it's not that simple." Faifah has a talent for talking about a problem like an international
one. "Wine, you understand me, right?"

"Yeah"

I don't understand anything, to be honest. I just nibble at my tortilla while I listen to their problem.

And the situation is perfect, since they sell beer next to the tortilla shop. I bought him a bunch to drink
and ease the pain. Now he's in this state, talking drunk and with his lips twitching, ruining his self-
image.

"The thing is..."

Get ready, the fourth round is coming.

"Yeah?"

"Huuuuu." Will this end in this life? It's getting so irritating that I'm dying to throw down my spoon
and flee to the bedroom. Damn idiot, he's giving me headaches. "I heard this friend tell the other
friend that she liked me and would find a chance to confess, but I didn't like her. I just see her
as a friend.
It was terrible that my actions gave him the wrong idea."

"How did you fix it?" I already know the whole story, but I'm playing along. Maybe he'll feel better
after getting it off his chest, but now I'm the one who's stressed.

"To avoid embarrassing her or damaging her self-esteem with a direct rejection, I pretended to be in
love with Kun."

"Huh?! But he's Yotha's boyfriend." Be dramatic. Repeat the same phrase.

I should be nominated for Best Supporting Actor at the Oscars. All the awards should be mine.

"Right. The plan wouldn't work if it was someone else. And if I said a random name, they'd try
to find that person. So I thought, 'Okay, Kun, it is,' because it made sense that I would never
reveal my feelings to my twin brother's boyfriend."

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"What a tasteless solution!" Seriously.

Based on these three rounds, they formed a team with Mr. Kongkiet, Mr. Kunyukol, and
Mr. God Faifah. They put on a show without telling Yotha. If it had only been the
cheerleader he liked, it wouldn't have been a problem.

But Faifah found that many more people thought of him as more than a friend.

If it were someone else, they'd simply reject them. Why wouldn't they understand?
Simply tell them the whole truth, reflect on it, and improve. Faifah, however, is different
from the others. She doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings or embarrass them, so she
prefers an indirect method.

"Everything was going well until we exposed ourselves. When she learned the truth, she got even
angrier," he says, taking a sip of beer. They've already finished two plates of tortillas. Maybe he'll order a third
one to wash it down with beer. "It all happened because I was nice to everyone and gave them the wrong
impression, even though I never felt anything for them."

"I understand. Your actions misled people. You also took good care of me. I would
fall in love with you if you let me be easily influenced."

"But I was sincere. I never pretended."

"You were honest with everyone. What happened after that?" I nudge him, hoping
he'll be done soon. I want to go back to the bedroom to shower and go to bed.

"As you saw, I tried to change."

"You stopped treating everyone nice because you didn't want them to get the
wrong idea, right?"

"Yeah."

"Can't find the middle ground?"

"Oh!"

"Oh!"

I bothered him, and he bothered me back. We make a good couple.

"That friend's words have stayed with me: Even though she doesn't know if I'll ever
be able to change my way of being kind to others, she hopes I'll change for the
person I fall in love with someday."

"It's true..."

"But I haven't found that person, so I don't know if I can be better. That's why... can
you help me, Wine?" Shit, I'm suddenly in trouble.

"Me? I can't even handle things on my own." Do I refuse to help him or do I agree?
Maybe he'll forget everything he said today when he wakes up tomorrow.

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"Yes, you. Only you can help me."

J always tells me that drunk people never speak sensibly.

"Why me?"

"Instinct?"

"..."

"My instinct tells me you can make me a better person."

Still, drunk people say what they think.

After getting caught up in those heart-pounding words, I can't break free. Now, besides school and being
bullied by my friends, I have another heavy burden: being Faifah's counselor.

The mission to teach her to care moderately for others has begun. Faifah should have asked her friends or J
for help because they definitely have more experience than a homebody in their own little world like me. It
doesn't matter. At this rate, I might grab my leg and cry if I refused, like in a soap opera from thirty years ago.

Sweet Song Café is the best place to meet and chat.

I take out my notebook and flip through the pages filled with my handwriting. I take this more
seriously than school because I know this will benefit Faifah and everyone on campus who has
a crush on him.

In addition to the notes, I need to ask Faifah for more information to get to know him better. If I detect any
problematic behavior, he should correct it.

"I will ask you questions to specify your main problems."

"Okay. I'm super ready." Faifah rolls up his sleeves, straightens, and smiles, his eyes fixed on me.

"One of your biggest problems is your people-first approach. If two people called you with the same
problem, what would you do?"

"I would help both of them," he replies confidently, even shrugging his shoulders.

"Who should wait? You can't help both at the same time."

"I don't know. I hadn't thought about it."

"That's the problem. In some situations, you have to make choices. Prioritize based on the importance
of the issues and work on the most important things first."

"Okay," he nods in acknowledgement.

"You nodded just to make light of it."

"How do you know me so well, boy?" Every time he calls me it makes my ears tingle.

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"Let's say if Yotha and I ran out of gas, who would you help first?"

"You don't have a car."

"Oh, right. Gosh, it's a hypothetical situation, okay?"

"You."

"Why me? I should be your twin brother."

"Yotha can save her own ass. I'm more worried about you."

If I were to let myself be carried away by those beautiful words, my heart would break. Faifah
always overuses the word 'worried'. Hmm! I don't believe it.

"I can take care of myself like Yotha."

"Still, I'd choose you. Yotha is calm in critical situations. You aren't."

"Do you want to fight?"

"Are you disrespecting your superior, brat?"

"As if I were scared," we return to the point after the silly argument. "From now on, get
your priorities straight. Believe me, little by little everything will get better."

"Understood"

The tall man writes my advice in the notes app on his phone. If he forgets or can't decide who
to help first, the list will come in handy. Now that he's finished, I'll move on.

"Next, if you were at the mall with your friend and they looked at something for a long
time without buying it, what would you do?"

"I would buy that thing from them."

"You see? Friends only go so far. You could ask them if they want it, or if it's necessary.
You could even lend them money. If you really wanted to buy it for them, you could give
it to them as a gift on an important day. If you just bought it for them, they'd think they
were more special than everyone else."

"Wine, you..."

"I'm smart, right?"

"Can you say long sentences?" Damn, focus on my effort, will you? This stupid son of a
bitch. Seeing my frown, he looks away to save himself. "I won't bother you anymore. I'll
follow your words."

He writes down my advice diligently.

"Do your friends call you often?" I ask another question, to which Faifah answers immediately.

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"My phone could catch fire. There are countless."

Even though I can accept it, hearing it from him unsettles me. Mr. Brilliant from Engineering
makes the most of his stuff. He drives his car and uses his phone very well. Not to mention he
buys people gifts all the time. What a generous man.

Her future lover isn't the luckiest person in the world. In fact, she's the unluckiest, having to
share her boyfriend's generosity with hundreds of people.

"What's the first thing you say after answering calls?"

"Their names or..." Faifah pauses. I wait for the answer, on the edge of my seat.

"Or what?"

"I often say 'What's up, honey?'"

"Don't do that again if they're not your family."

"Can I say, 'What's up, asshole?'"

"That would surprise some of them. It would be enough to say their names or just say
hello, something like that."

"Received!"

This is exhausting. I thought it wouldn't be so troublesome. Now that I'm investigating, the roots
of the problems are endless. I doubt we'll finish before 2:00 a.m.
And even if we can find the roots of some problems, it doesn't mean we can easily fix them.

"When you go to the bar..." This. This is one of the most regrettable moments of my life.

"Yes, yes."

"Sometimes, just stay in your seat. You're always toasting with everyone."

"I know a lot of people."

"I know. You might want to spend time with everyone equally, but keep in mind that the
friends who came with you want to spend time with you more than the others."

Looking back on the first night I walked into Bang-on Pochana and witnessed Faifah's radical
kindness, I can see that she always goes out of her way for others, but at the same time leaves
some people behind.

I'm not sure if Kong, Kun, or Puri ever got angry at being left alone at a table because Faifah,
without exception, only came back when the bar was about to close.
If it were me, who let him be a big part of my life, I would be angry.

"Including you?" he asks, as if reading my mind. I answer.

"That?"

"Does that include you, those who want to spend time with me?"

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"Yeah."

"My heart feels so warm"

What a pretentious bastard. I hate his face. How could he be handsome and annoying at the
same time?

"I forgot one thing. When you pass someone in the cafeteria lines, don't sacrifice your
spot for them. Just follow the system. First come, first served."

"I understand."

She answers me with a radiant smile. A few minutes later, I ask her another question.

We've been here since five. Now, my watch says it's almost seven. Faifah takes me to dinner,
and we return to the cafeteria, not letting me go back to the dorm.

Of course I wouldn't. The mission isn't complete. I turn to the page with the
details of the last mission.

"Let's play pick." Here comes the new song. With shining eyes on her beautiful face, she
answers in the most annoying voice I've ever heard.

"Wow! Wine has a challenge for me today."

"Hello, Faifah"

In a café, it's inevitable that new customers won't greet him. As a public figure, Faifah is as popular as a
celebrity. At least he simply waves back without chatting. That's a relief.

That's a good sign. I don't intend to force him to stop talking to anyone. Just be measured and
behave like a friend.

"Hi, Chalita. Sorry I can't talk much today. I'm on a mission to improve myself." Oh...
revealing your mission is no way to improve yourself at all. I'm feeling tired.
"Let's continue. I won't greet anyone else."

You've said it a hundred times. This time, I lower my voice and fix my stern gaze on him.

"Focus on me."

The tall guy leans closer and stares at me, unblinking.

"Like this?"

"You don't have to look at me like that. I feel uncomfortable." Faifah always exaggerates. Haha.

"Did I make you feel shy?"

"No."

"I was shy, though."

How could he say that? He needed a slap.

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"That's why you need to change. If someone fell for your flirting when you didn't
mean it, that would be horrible."

"But I meant it." This guy is incredibly stubborn.

So true to his feelings. Ugh.

"Please don't say things like that if you don't like the other person. Thank goodness it's just me this
time," Faifah pouts, her face sad. "Let's get back to the point. I'm going to present you with options.
Despite your indecisiveness, you can't help but make decisions in some situations."

"Is this game just for me? You're indecisive too. Why don't we take turns?"

Shit, I'm helping him and suddenly he attacks me. It's true that I have no confidence or firmness in my
decisions. That's why, since I was little, I've never loved or focused on just one thing.

I don't choose because I can't decide. On the contrary, he doesn't choose because he never wants to decide.

"Go"

"That's very brave of you, Wine."

"I'll start first. I made a list." I read my messy handwriting on the page, look up, and
ask something that should be easy for him... "Liquor or beer?"

"Easy"

"Answer."

"Beer. You don't have to mix it. It's your turn. " What's that evil grin? I'm scared.
"Which would you choose, math or computer science?"

"Wow, that's tough." During the entrance interview, I couldn't decide and chose both.
But since this is a game, I have to choose one. I said through tears, "Computers."
"The software programming class isn't that bad."

"This is fun. More. Ask me more," Faifah claps happily.

"Your house or apartment?"

"My apartment."

"Explain your reason"

"I don't feel like traveling so far to get back home. My apartment is more private, and I can bring several
friends there. Your turn. Same question. I can't think of anything else."

"My house."

"Because?"

"I've lived there since I was a kid. It's warmer."

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"I'll take you to my apartment when you have time. It's much warmer."

"That's flirting. Only say that to the person you like." Faifah pouts and playfully pushes
my head. How mean, I rub my head and continue, "Lie down and watch a movie or
exercise?"

"Exercise." That's quick. "There are three options this time. What do you want me to
call you: Wisawa, Warat, or Wine?"

"Call me Wine"

"Wine."

"That?"

"Wine."

"Get a grip."

"Wine."

Her voice and her eyes make my heart flutter. Faifah may not be aware of her natural talent
for luring people into her trap with no way out. Not to mention, she does it very easily. Some
may not even know they've been lured, and by the time they realize it, it's already too late.

I shook those thoughts out of my head, afraid he'd notice I'd gotten carried away for a second.
Another question arose.

"If you could go back in time, would you still want to meet me?"

Meeting someone can be a mistake you want to erase from your mind and bury the memories deep within
your soul. And I'm so afraid of being that person for him.

"Yes." But his answer inflates my heart like a balloon.

"You sound confident."

"Same question for you."

"I would."

Our first meeting wasn't impressive at all. And the second, third, and the one after that were
real struggles due to his boundless generosity, which barely survived. Despite that, the life of
a homebody like me would have remained colorless without him.

"Can I ask the next question?" Faifah asks.

"Sure."

Are you free this Saturday?

"Because?"

"Do you want to watch a movie together?"

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"Is that your classic invitation?"

"No, this is the first time I've invited someone." What a sweet voice and such charming eyes.
However, her words can't be trusted.

"Your first time? No way. When you sang at the bar, you said it was your first time. Puri
told me it was your first time that week."

Faifah slaps his forehead, trapped, and shouts at the man at the bar counter.

"Puri, you damn traitor!"

"What? What did I do?"

By the time the best friends were done talking, I went to the bathroom and came back. Who would
have thought Faifah would ask me for the answer to the question I forgot?

"Wine, answer my question."

"About a movie?"

"Yeah."

There's only one yes or no. Although I've been indecisive all my life, sometimes I can make a
decision right then and there, and that's usually when he asks me.

"You know what I'll choose."

My weekends are never without events; there are always unforgettable moments. Like today, I
wonder what I'm going to experience. Something's bound to happen.

Today I'm going to see a movie with the dramatic guy. Since I didn't want to bother him, I insisted
on going to the theater myself. It shouldn't be a problem if we meet in front of the theater. Besides,
we bought the tickets online.

Of all the movies, why did we choose a drama? I don't want to cry. I'm the type who's easily swept
away by other people's life stories.

"Wine~" Here comes the annoying voice. I can tell it's Faifah even before I
appear.

"Hey."

I turn around and look from side to side. A moment later, I see the tall boy standing a short
distance away. Today he's wearing a black and white plaid shirt, shorts, and sandals. They would
have looked strange on my body, but Faifah is doing great.

"Were you behaving before I arrived?" the tall boy asks, coming closer, making me squint
tiredly. That's a question for kids.

"No."

"Because?"

"It's none of your business."

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"You've become more shameless."

"To compete with you."

"Aww, you'll never beat me. We're on different levels. Haha." I hate his merciless
laughter. Noticing my frown, he changes the subject as if nothing happened.
"You look super cute today, Wine."

With a band T-shirt and worn-out jeans? Well, if you say so.

"And you look super handsome."

"Kyaaa, how can you say that so openly? Are you in love with me?"

"Uh..." I shouldn't have agreed to help him improve his behavior. Apparently, after a few days, he's started
talking sweetly again, even to me, since I'm younger than him.

No... that's not all. She digs into her mangosteen handbag. My heart races with apprehension
when she pulls out her phone.

"Since we're so handsome and cute, let's take a picture as a souvenir."

See? Just as I expected.

"Okay, but please don't blur our faces with a lighter background this time." The photo
of the plant still haunts me.

"I have skills."

"Your abilities are the most terrifying."

Faifah and I took a selfie as our cherished souvenir and bought popcorn and carbonated
drinks for the movie.

"It's an emotional movie. Will you cry, Wine?"

"Me? I'll be fine."

"Sure?"

"Dramatic movies mean nothing to me."

"You cheeky brat, I'll wait and see."

Fate plays a trick on me. Twenty minutes in, the story becomes... more heartbreaking than
I imagined. Plus, it presents reality in a damned good way.

It tells the story of a man who's in a relationship with a girl and falls in love with another girl,
so things get complicated. He breaks up with his girlfriend for another. In the end, he can't
support anyone and ends up losing everything. My tears flow, but I stifle a sob, terrified that
my life will be like the end.

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My condition upon leaving the theater was predictable. My eyes were swollen like files, my
loose shirt soaked with snot and tears. I would have wiped my tears with my socks if possible.

Fortunately, Faifah never made fun of me. She even constantly passed me a handkerchief
until we left.

"Wine, you really like the movie."

"A little, yes."

"I remember you just got dumped. Are you feeling better now?" He mentions it suddenly,
concern on his face and in his eyes, not mocking me as I feared.

"No."

There's never been a day when I don't feel guilty about Toey. Even ten years from now, I'll
never be able to make up for being a horrible boyfriend who fell in love with someone else
and hid the truth from her.

"I've been thinking. You've helped me a lot, so I want to help you too.
But I don't know what to do."

"Alright."

To be honest, I'm afraid he'll make some weird joke. Let's not do it.

"In the movie they say that songs will help you get over your exes faster.
"Do you want to try?"

"I've tried everything and nothing has worked."

"Then try again. Storms pass. One day it will rain." Wait... how is rain better? It's just as
bad. "Come on, Wine. Let's try."

Damn, how stubborn. How can I say no to that? In the end, I have no choice but to accept his
help.

"What should I do?"

"Let's find a place to sit and talk."

At least I'm free for the whole day. A few moments later, Faifah and I settled into the open space of the food
court and took the opportunity to eat and chat.

"First of all, don't be afraid to look back. If you can't forget it, you can remember the
good things it had. As the song Memories by Stoondio says...
Keep it as memories of us, vague and confusing memories."

"Stop it..." I bet he's going to sing the whole song. "I tried this and it didn't work. No
matter how beautiful the memories are, they hurt."

"I see, I see."

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The tall boy nods and looks at his phone to choose a song.

Damn, in movies they listen to music when they're sad. Faifah, however, goes beyond that. She tries to help
with the lyrics of each song. I have no idea if it will work.

"Let her go, then. Pop Pongkool says... Force yourself a little. If you love her without her
loving you back, you have to let her go. Just let her go."

¹ Let It Go by Pop Pongkool

"..."

"And everything will be okay. Your heart will change. One day, she'll be gone, even
though you still feel it, even though you still miss her with every breath."

I could have actually sung it with a guitar. This is exhausting.

"I tried this and it didn't work either."

"Ugh, that sucks... How about we go to the woods?"

"Hey?"

"I'm confused. What the hell?"

"Max Jen says if you're tired, walk into the woods. At least you won't see a heartless
person like her there."

² Into the Woods by Max Jenmana with Ying Pornpawee

"It's figurative. Figurative!"

"Oh, really? I thought you could really forget someone in the woods."

"Even if I went into the woods, I wouldn't forget her when I came out."

"That's fucking sad."

Faifah looks sad. I know how much she wants to help, and I feel her determination, but her attempt is
fruitless.

"Thank you Faifah for everything"

"You helped me too," he says, giving me a piece of his fried pork, and I accept his generosity. A moment
later, his eyes start shining again. I can't keep up. "I have an idea."

"What idea?"

"How to move forward"

"Again?"

"It will work, but it might take time," I listen silently, waiting for him to explain. "Find a new
love."

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"Whoooooa! This is the hardest road of all." Look at me, I'm a shy, homey person whose
routine is simply attending class and going home. I'm indecisive and have no leadership skills.
Who would fall for me? Besides, I'm in love with my ex-girlfriend's brother. Love is impossible
for me.

"You don't need to do anything. Just live your life and someday you'll find it, like the
song Similar by Dept says."

How amazing of you to do cover versions with music!

"How's Similar going? I've never heard of it."

"Take a look at it."

"Now you're playing hard to get."

Faifah laughs and says nothing more.

Another day has ended in the blink of an eye. So much has happened, and my brain remembers
it all. One, the dramatic movie we watched together that made me cry. Two, the various
methods Faifah came up with that failed to assuage my guilt toward Toey. And three, I have a
new song to listen to for homework.

So back in my room, the first thing I do is grab my old laptop and jump into bed to enjoy the
song.

The day when everything is about to end.

The reality is not as sweet as others have experienced it.

She's hurt so many people and it's all been like I'm worthless.

The day the tears run out.

There is a light shining on me.

Moving away from those painful days to a meaningful world.

It starts sadly, followed by hope to calm our hearts. Maybe I should do what Faifah suggested: live and wait
to find someone like the one in the song.

So, I won't forget Toey. I'll wait for the day I can start over with someone, and I hope Toey gives
me the chance to apologize to her from the bottom of my heart someday.

With that thought, every day doesn't feel so bad anymore.

Is that you? Is it really you?

The one that shakes my heart. Similar to...

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On Monday I'm busy working on a group assignment.

On Tuesday, there's a meeting with the seniors about Sports Day. The first-year students raise their hands
to participate in every task. I, on the other hand, volunteer to be part of the cleaning team instead of doing
anything that requires skills.

On Wednesday, Benjie invites us to record a giant squid mukbang together.

Immediately afterward I get a rash, although I've never had one before.

On Thursday, J took me to dinner with a senior from another department. After that, we both went to karaoke
due to the pain caused by the predictably terrible bro zone.

On Friday, lunch with the Angel Gear Code.

On Saturday, I watch a movie on the streaming service in bed and try out a new mask from Benjie's sponsor
for one of his YouTube mukbang clips.

And today, Sunday...

It has been a week in which I have kept the most unforgettable memories in my mind.
I doubt anything exciting will happen today until my roommate kicks the door open.

"Hi, the friendly major is at the stadium today."

"Which?"

This is exhausting and hopeless. When J found out about Sports Day, he joined the engineering track team.
His goal is none other than to attract the attention of senior women from other departments. I don't know who
he's interested in right now; I'm losing count.

"We of Pharmaceutical Science."

"The bell didn't ring."

"Come on, you don't have to remember her. Just be prepared."

"Why the fuck?"

"You must go running with me right now."

"Again? You dragged me to that dinner last time. I was so tense I almost got a crick in my neck."

"Hey... I'm begging you. Help me. If my romantic life means nothing to you, at least think about our
lasting friendship. Boohoo." Why are you so dramatic, you son of a bitch?

I was about to flatly refuse, but his distressed face stopped me. Finally, I agreed to help.

I put on some casual clothes and my usual sneakers and we head to the university stadium.

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At night, the stadium fills with students and employees. Some play soccer on the field in the
center. No matter where you run or walk, there are people everywhere.

"Shit, it's there. I'm blushing." Jenjob twists his body as he watches a large group of elderly
people rush by.

"Calm down, asshole. Be happy."

"Do you think he'll remember me?"

"Did you talk to each other?"

"A bit."

"Go say hello to her then."

"Do you think so?" He probably has no idea what expression he has when he asks that.
In your mind, you want to run over there and greet her at lightning speed. Why are you acting so
cold and asking my opinion?

"Yes," I assure him. He disappears into the crowd in an instant.

I was left alone again, still unlearned. Thank goodness I brought my AirPods to soothe my loneliness with
music.

And the song I've been listening to repeatedly all week is Similar.

But you don't have to give me the answer. Let time pass...

I start walking and gradually pick up my pace until I'm running at a constant speed.
The song plays in my ears as I focus on the track and running.

One lap, two laps, three laps...

My short playlist is on repeat. The fatigue of running slows my pace. My legs move more slowly
as I pay attention to the song.

The way you look at me changes my whole world...

"Wine."

Who would have thought that the person I hadn't seen for almost a week would appear in front
of me?

My slow pace stops when the tall guy running in the opposite direction stops.
We remained silent, not knowing what to do. At that moment, the song played its final verse.

As long as you hold my hand and never let go

Only you, only you...

I take off my AirPods and realize I should say hi to him too.

"Hello, Faifah."

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"I haven't seen you in a week," he says, panting slightly.

"Yes, I've been busy with Sports Day."

"And I've been busy with my family." Faifah doesn't explain anything further, and I don't press the
issue, happy to be back together.

"Are you busy these days?"

"I took care of everything. Who are you here with?"

"JJ."

"Oh, where is it?"

"Over there," I point to the other side of the racetrack, where I glimpse the figure of my
best friend. The reason I can see him is because of the color of his shirt. With that bright
pink shirt, I can see him from outer space.

"Oh, he's flirting. Are you tired? Why don't you go catch your breath?"

"Okay," I agree, following the tall guy off the racetrack.

Faifah places a bottle of water in my hand. This caring man sacrifices his only bottle for me.

"You drink it, I'll get mine."

"Alright."

"No, I feel bad."

Faifah exhales a soft sigh, fixes her eyes on me, and speaks in a calm voice.

"Let's go find him together. I came by motorcycle. It'll only take a minute."

"Sure."

I don't reject him for fear that he'll keep insisting. Since we hang out all the time, there's no
reason to reject him. J texts me when he gets tired of chasing after his crush.

I follow the tall boy to the parking lot, with Faifah chatting along the way.

"I missed you so much when we weren't seeing each other, but I was busy. Talking on the phone
wasn't enough."

"You're exaggerating."

"I'm not. It wasn't fun without you."

"How could it not be fun when you had tons of friends?"

"It's not the same."

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Even though we didn't see each other all week, I could hear his voice. Whenever I felt lonely, I
thought about all his pranks or when he gave me advice and helped me get over my past love.

Even though all the songs failed to keep me going, I found new music to erase my loneliness.

This is him, the person who always treats me well.

As I walk, a thought flashes through my head. Something I'd forgotten. Now that we're together
again, my determination resurfaces.

To maintain our friendship, I won't hide or lie to you. Because I'm afraid...
I'm afraid that if he ever found out, I wouldn't even have the chance to be his brother. It would be a great
shame to lose one of the most important people in my life.

"Faifah"

"That?"

"Do you remember the five facts about ourselves?"

"Yes," he replies, marching forward.

"About my last act, I... didn't tell you the whole truth."

I follow him, taking long strides to keep up, but at that moment he slows down so I can get
closer.

My body is out of control. My heart is pounding, and my limbs are shaking. I ask myself again
and again whether I should say it, and I finally succumb to my previous resolve, which is to
reveal it. If he can't accept me today, at least it won't be as painful as waiting for time to pass
until we become closer.

I swallow, inhale, exhale, and gather all my courage to leave.

"It's true that I'm indecisive, but I can make a decision if necessary. What I said at that
moment wasn't what I wanted to tell you."

Faifah stops and turns to me with unreadable eyes.

"What is your fifth fact?"

His toneless voice fills my ears, and my limbs instantly weaken. I crouch down and look down,
unable to meet his gaze.

I have high hopes for your response. I hope you don't look at me with disgust. And I'm terrified
that your response won't be what I expect.

Everything is collapsing in my head. I fall silent and take a moment to find my voice.

"Wine"

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"The... The reason my ex-girlfriend broke up with me wasn't because she found
out I didn't have feelings for her anymore."

As he said, I can live until I find the right one. It may not be today, but at least I have
him, who gave me the strength to face reality and accept myself little by little.
bit.

"I don't like girls."

"..."

"I'm gay."

He doesn't say a word. As this moment drags on, I grow discouraged. I'm not brave
enough to look him in the eye, so I glue my eyes to the cement floor and my feet.

"I'm sorry to tell you this so late. I didn't know if you'd accept it, but I had to say it."

Take a step forward, grow up, and let go of all the horrible feelings from the past.

Did I do the right thing?

"Wine"

I have no idea how it happens, but the moment I look towards his call, the charming boy
is already looking at me.

Faifah squats down at eye level with me, a soft smile soothing my pounding heart.

"Why are you apologizing? There's no problem. No matter what or who you love,
I can accept you."
"..."

"It's still you, who is always kind to me."

I am incredibly grateful for Faifah's existence.

At that moment, the song plays in my head. I remember the verse clearly.

Is that you? Is it really you?

The one that shakes my heart. Similar to...

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CHAPTER 07: THE SURPRISE OF THE

BAR PEOPLE
"Great Little Wine".

Someone taps me on the right shoulder. I turn and meet Mr. Bright's eyes a short distance
away. I gasp for a second and step back to breathe.

"Hi," I give her a shy smile. Can she tell I'm nervous?

"Are you free tonight?"

"What time? I have an assignment."

"When will you finish?"

"Around eight thirty."

"Fine. Let's go to my brother's bar around nine." I tilt my head, puzzled. I heard her
brother owns a cocktail bar with Yotha. Why would Faifah suddenly want to take an outsider
like me there?

He never mentioned it before, so I assumed he didn't want me to pry into his private life.

It's clear now to some extent. It's partly because I poured my heart out to him that day, the day I
mustered up the courage to tell him I was gay.

Fortunately, Faifah wasn't mean to me. She accepted me, and we became even closer. It's
true, as they say, that people open their hearts to you if you open yours to them.

"Is it December 16th?"

"November 15th. Are you kidding me? You skipped a month."

"It's not me." Who would remember such a long name? I barely remember my birth date.
"Why are you taking me there?"

"To introduce you to the guys at the bar. We're celebrating an important event."

"An important event?"

Shit, what if it's a surprise? I pray it's something good. I don't want to stand there like a fool
wondering over and over again what the fuck I'm doing here.

"Yes, I want you to join," he explains, not so clearly that I want to reject him.

But my curiosity, which has increased after meeting him, prompts me to accept the invitation.

"Okay, I'm going."

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"You're the cutest. Don't forget to eat before then, or you'll be hungry. I'll pick you up from the
dorm at nine," I nod.

We chat briefly before heading off to our classes. I spend the afternoon completing group homework.
JJ and Benjie, in a different group, will work on their homework until midnight. I think they'll either eat
something while they complete their homework or go outside and come back to finish it.

Once I've finished my homework, I return to the dorm, shower, and get dressed. I'm so excited that I
wait in front of the building thirty minutes early, all dressed up as if I'm going to a gala dinner. I have
no idea why I'm so excited. Could it be because Faifah invited me that I'm unusually excited?

"Wine," his voice says annoyed before I see him from the bench.

I turn toward the voice and see the tall guy in a t-shirt and jeans leaning against his car.
Is it cool? Of course. But whose car is that? I have no idea!

I get up and walk towards him.

"We should meet at nine. Why are you so early?"

"Because I knew you'd be early. I didn't want you to wait too long." Oh, someone died. Why is
he so flirtatious?

"Why so kind?"

"Well, I'm nice." Not anymore. I hate her high-pitched voice.

"Which car are you leaning on?"

"This car? No idea."

"Ugh"

"He's one of my friends." Everyone here is your friend, you bastard.

"Where is your vehicle?"

"Look," I look past the luxurious car and look at his usual motorcycle. Apparently, we ride it, but I like
it. I liked it when we enjoyed the breeze and, ah... waved to all the passersby. "Shall we go?"

"Yeah."

Being with Faifah, I can't help but remember the first time we met. That day, he walked into the
restaurant and looked at the menu. I mistook him for my mentor, sat down with him without
embarrassment, and simply ordered my food.

The memory burns my face every time. It mortified me so much I wanted to bury myself in the ground.

Although it's an embarrassing story that I hope to hide forever, my mind returns to it all the time. I
guess this is what they say about some memories staying vivid no matter how much time passes.

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Am I really studying engineering? I daydream too often.

The motorcycle moves quickly. It turns out that Faifah doesn't wave to anyone who passes
by, which is quite surprising. The event at the bar must be so important that she can't afford
any delays.

I lift my head, feeling the breeze, look at the streetlights, and glance at the back of the
person in front of me. He's tall, warm, and dreamy. No wonder people fall for him so easily.
Today he's wearing a white T-shirt and faded jeans, his usual casual wear on normal days,
which makes him more approachable than on days when he's dressed up.

I drown in my thoughts until the engine cuts out at the destination.

As soon as I enter the bar, the atmosphere is completely different from what it was outside.
Quiet and empty, unlike what I imagined.

15 de Noviembre isn't a huge place. It's a small, luxuriously decorated bar, adorned with
quirky lighting and black and white furniture. The centerpiece is the enormous black marble
bar.

"Fai is here."

Someone rushes toward the tall, alarmed man. Judging by his appearance, he must be
between twenty and thirty years old. The man is wearing a white shirt, shorts, and shiny
leather shoes. His hair stands out, carefully combed as if he were preparing to attend an
important event.

"Are you nervous? You're sweating."

"I'm nervous and I need to poop." They chat in a friendly manner before turning to me.
"Oh, I forgot to introduce you. This is Nop, my brother's friend, business partner, and
future boyfriend."

"Hi, I'm Wine." Wait. Did Faifah just introduce him as a 'future boyfriend'? Is she getting
married soon? That explains... the aura.

"Nice to meet you. Faifah told me a lot about you."

"About me?" I'm puzzled. Did he speak ill of me?

"Yeah, he said you seemed sleepy all the time. " Damn... "Like, cute sleepy."

It doesn't make me feel better at all.

"It's not nice to be sleepy."

"I'll discuss this with you later. I have to arrange things with New," he ends the
conversation, pats the younger boy twice, and walks off in another direction.

A corner of the bar is occupied by a group of familiar faces.

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"That's my older brother, Newton." The tall boy points to a man who resembles the Hell Twins
to some extent. Aside from his looks, he gives off a playboy vibe.

"Oh."

I thought it would be awkward being among strangers. Fortunately, Yotha and Kun are here, along
with Faifah.

Faifah doesn't let me talk to myself for long. She grabs my right hand and leads me away. She
introduces me to her older brother, Newton. Another thing I learned today is that my older brother
is very flirtatious and fun.

Who wouldn't fall in love with him? This family's children are terrifying.

"What's today's event about? There are so many people."

The moment everything gets hectic, I stay alone and scratch my head.

"Wine, hold the flower." I accept the white rose, questions swirling in my head. "Nope, he's
going to propose to his girlfriend tonight."

"Eh~"

"We're going to give him a surprise."

"What's the plan?" Everything becomes more chaotic before I can answer.

He pushes me into a narrow space. I press my face against the edge of the refrigerator to get a
look at the situation outside. Soon, some of the lights go out, leaving only a few left to illuminate
the bar.

"Wine, give me your ear." The tall boy clings to my back, spreading his warmth over me.
I obediently bow my head as his beautiful face approaches. His nose brushes against mine.

ear, sending shivers throughout my body.

"It tickles," I admit. The boy behind me responds fiercely.

"Will you listen to me?"

"Just say it," I whisper.

What shampoo do you use?

"Is that part of the plan?"

"No, I'm talking about your hair." Stop making me mad! Why are you asking me what shampoo
I use in this situation? It's driving me crazy.

"This is nonsense. Get to the point. I don't want to miss the opportunity."

"Faye will be entering the bar shortly."

"Who?"

"Nop's girlfriend." I nod and continue listening. "New will welcome you and tell you to wait for
Nop at the bar. When the groom-to-be gets settled,

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The music will start. Then he'll propose to her. If Faye says yes, we'll celebrate."

What a romantic surprise! Wait a minute...

"I don't mean to jinx it, but if not, I mean..."

"What if he says no? We haven't thought about that."

"Oh." That's the damn turn that could break my back.

"Don't worry. It's not a sudden proposal. They've been talking about marriage for a while, but he still
hasn't popped the question." What a relief. I thought it would be a surprise without the bride's consent. I
believe people are supposed to share these precious memories after careful consideration on both sides.

But I doubt Faifah thought of that action. Why is she holding onto my ear? She could have chewed it up and
swallowed it.

"Take your nose away from my ear."

"What? It's narrow in here," Faifah says, clicking her tongue. She taps me on the shoulder repeatedly as a
girl comes through the entrance.

I can see her clearly. She's not tall, has short hair that's ear-length and bangs, and is wearing a Hawaiian shirt.
Just by looking at her hairstyle and style, I can tell she's an artist.

Newton welcomes me. Their conversation is inaudible, so I try to read their lips.
He soon gestures for her to wait at the counter.

Several minutes later, the girl plays with her phone to kill boredom.
Then Nope appears. For some reason, I hold my breath in extreme anticipation, even though this has nothing
to do with me.

The lights change color from orange to pink as the slow, sweet music plays.

"Fucking romantic."

"Yes. Some people meet and have a fling, like a one-night stand."

"How's that for romantic?" I turn to frown at him, but it's not the right moment. Our noses touch for a second,
and I quickly turn my head.

Faifah says nothing. We silently watch the couple standing there.

Nop sits at his bartender's station, greets his girlfriend with a smile, and carefully prepares her a drink.

They chat, laugh out loud, and sometimes listen to each other attentively.

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I have no idea what he's going to say or how sweet those words will be, but the moment
the man opens the ring box in front of his beloved woman, he doesn't kneel down or
engrave this, but he fills his girlfriend's heart.

The world stops and the music softens in my ears as they hold each other's gaze, then
the bride nods with a smile. In that second, the music and the world move on.
It is a world full of joy.

"Yes~ Congratulations to the coupleeee."

Faifah drags me out of our hiding place. We head over to the bride and groom and hand
them our flowers. Clapping, whistling, and cheers echo around the bar before the sweet
song abruptly switches to a festive folk song for everyone to show off their hip-shaking
skills.

Meanwhile, the groom-to-be, his friends, and Faifah seem to be at the wrong event.

"Don't cry, boohoo, don't cry, buddy." Newton hugs Nop and cries without thinking.
They both wipe away tears and speak in gibberish.

"I'm not crying, hic...hic...huuuuuuu"

"Nope, calm down. Take a deep breath."

"I'm so touched," they sobbed. Faifah's tears nearly fell to her toes, more moved than
the groom-to-be.

"Group hugs, group hugs."

"Faifah, thanks for your idea, hic. This plan, in this life... I will never forget it, huuuuu."

"You're welcome, bro. It's a pleasure. Wah~"

"Yotha, give me a hug"

Yotha refuses to participate. So the three men (the groom-to-be, Newton, and Mr. Brilliant
from Engineering) hug each other and cry like little children. Only my mentor and I blink.
Worse still, the bride-to-be scratches her head with a completely sick face.

"Are these guys real?"

If I were her I would say the same.

The atmosphere outside the bar is calm, with an outdoor area for customers. Since the
bar is closed today, it's perfect for getting away from it all and getting some fresh air. I
follow the tall guy here and sit next to him. He's still sobbing, very emotional.

"A tissue?" I hand her the one I brought from inside. Faifah pouts and is on the verge of
tears again. "Stop crying. It's ruining your face."

"Yes, thank you, Wine. Pffff!" He takes the handkerchief and blows his nose hard. What
a tiring sight.

"You seem to really like this."

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"Yeah."

"Do you dream of getting married?" She shakes her head and explains between sobs. She doesn't need
to talk if she doesn't feel well yet.

"No, hic... I'm happy that Nop is getting married."

"You love Nop very much, don't you?"

"We have a bond. The idea of marriage doesn't seem romantic to me, to be honest, but I'm
glad this romantic concept makes my brother happy. He's made his choice. He's chosen his
path in life."

The small road is crowded with vehicles, and the breeze hits our faces. Faifah and I are deep in thought
about tonight, though it seems we're getting ahead of ourselves.

"I want this"

"Marriage?" she asks innocently, making me laugh out loud.

"No, I want to be happy when I see the person I love feel happy."

I've seen many heartwarming movies and music videos that imply that it's normal to be happy for
others, but it's actually not that simple. Imagine myself in the protagonist's shoes; it would pain me
terribly to realize that the person I love so deeply could never be mine.

Now that I think about it, I had that feeling when I found out Tor was dating someone. It's not exactly
the same feeling, though. I knew he'd never date men, so I was prepared.

"I almost forgot," Faifah's low voice snaps me out of my train of thought. I turn my attention to him
as he hands me a white rose. "The flower for you..."

"Because?"

"I don't know where to put it." Thanks for your honesty, asshole.

"Isn't this to congratulate Faye?"

"She already has a lot."

"You're weird. Don't you want to go out with someone after seeing the lovely couple? You
haven't cared much about others in a while anyway."

"No, I'm waiting for Newton to have a girlfriend first."

"Because?"

"He doesn't fall in love easily. When he's settled down with someone, I'll think about it."

"It's wrong to attribute your life decisions to someone like that."

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Judging by Newton's eyes and gestures, he's something special. At the bar, I heard his friends
asking if he'd brought this or that girl. It'll be hard to wait for him to fall in love with someone
one day. He might never settle down.

"If he's bad, then he should be a better person first."

"You're better now." Compared to the first day we met until the day he got better. "I'm not
lying."

"Do you believe that?"

"Yes. You just have to find the right person."

Besides Newton, there's Yotha. She's a legend that the Dark Lord of Engineering used to be
afraid to love. How did she destroy his walls? Wasn't it because she met Kun?

That's why I believe that everything can change thanks to someone or something.

"Enough about me. What about you, Wine? Can't you tell me who your crush is?"

You've asked me this many times. How do I say it?

"He likes girls. There's no need to talk about it. It's just unrequited teenage love."

"So what after that? Are you interested in anyone else?"

"Well, yes."

Tor wasn't the only guy I liked. Some men came and went just like that. Sometimes, I'd see them once and
fantasize about how handsome and nice they were, imagining how nice it would be to be closer to them, but it all
ended when I woke up from my dream.

I would start my days as usual and see someone else, that would be it...

But something changed when I entered this university and met someone. I couldn't stop
thinking about how handsome, nice, warm, and fucking crazy he was.

That person is you, Faifah...

"Just because I'm interested in someone doesn't mean I want to date them."

Yes, you're still my person, as always.

"Can I ask you something?"

"What is it?"

"If you ever really like someone, can you tell me? I don't care if I'm not the first. Just
tell me."

"You too"

"Okay. I'll tell you before anyone else."

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It's not a promise or a strict rule to follow, but my heart insists it must be him.

He will always know first.

Two days ago, I joined the surprise and hung out with Faifah until I got tired. Today I'm going to rest and
won't go anywhere after school. I'll read manga in bed.

At night, I shower, brush my teeth, get dressed, and get into bed. Before going to sleep, I check the news
on my phone. Meanwhile, my roommate is upset about being in love. He's been on his phone for two hours,
pacing back and forth on the balcony.

Jenjob is the type who follows his heart instead of his brain, and trusts his instincts.
Unfortunately, his intuition sucks, so he often ends up with several kind older women who think of him as a
brother.

He's the number one brother in computer engineering. We could create a certificate for him.

(Rrrr-- Rrrr--)

I'm mentally badmouthing my friend when a guy I know video calls me. Seeing "I've never seen anyone like
that," I answer the call without missing a beat.

[Big Little Wine, you left your wallet on my motorcycle.]

He shoots after I say a word and holds up a medium-sized black leather wallet. It looks elegant. Is it a
designer wallet? I've never seen one before.

"It's not mine. Who else did you bring?"

I thought he'd stopped being overly friendly. I'm afraid history repeats itself. Sigh.

[I don't remember.]

"It could be one of the people present at the surprise event."

[Good.] It's possible. Besides Yotha and Kun, there were a bunch of unfamiliar faces. The wallet probably
belongs to one of them.

"I hope you find its owner."

[Yes, I'll ask Newton or Yotha to find the owner. They're usually there.]

I can only listen; I can't help him with this. A question arises in my head: Why doesn't Faifah look for and
return the wallet to the owner, since he's one of the bar's brothers?

"Don't you go there often?" Call me nosy. I'm really curious.

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[I go there from time to time. I don't like the atmosphere.] What atmosphere are you talking about?
The question lingers in my head. Noticing this, he continues: [They don't play upbeat songs for
me to dance to. I love to dance like crazy and shake my hips.]

Erm, you mean Bang-on Pochana? She nearly dislocated her bones and even sang us a serenade
I'll remember until my dying day.

"You've really only changed a few things. I guess dancing and singing are the exceptions."

[Come on, don't lose hope.]

"Aren't you going anywhere tonight?"

[No, I already showered. I have something to show you.] Faifah focuses the camera on her
pink pajamas with a very cute print, similar to mine.

[We're getting twins. Oh! They're even the same color. But your print is frogs and mine is
bunnies.] I almost threw up at the way he acts so cute. This guy is the master of surprises that
amaze me every day. His creativity is top-notch.
How considerate of the pajama store to have a size for a tall person like him.

"Where did you get this? Incredible!"

[I asked Yotha, and he asked his mentor.]

"I knew it. Definitely from the same place."

[Aren't they cute? I have to say they are cute.]

"
"Whatever.

[Aren't they cute?]

"Yes they are."

We chat about many other things. Some topics have nothing to do with what we talked about
before, and I wonder how we're doing here. Faifah is extremely natural and communicative; he
has many stories to tell. It's no wonder we talk until we lose track of time.

I don't know where we stayed, when J returns, or who falls asleep first, but one thing I do know: as soon as I
fall asleep...

...he's the only one in my dream.

"Hey, Wine, are you coming alone today?"

"Yeah."

I was greeted by Puri, a sophomore, a barista, a cashier, and a waiter. He greets me with a
cheerful voice every time I enter the cafe.

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Since Sweet Song Café added alternative menus, there are almost no empty tables left.
It's their prime. I'm glad the café is making a profit to cover its expenses and future renovations.

"Where are Benjie and JJ?" Puri asks. I look around for an empty table.

"J is flirting with a girl. Ben is making a video in collaboration with the channel Stuff
Your Face Until Sent to the Hospital."

"What a name!"

"Ha ha"

"Ooh! I got to see a cute boy today."

Will Faifah never go anywhere else? On days when I don't expect to see him, he's here, like today.
He comes out of the kitchen through the back, speaking in a high-pitched voice and with a silly face.

The difference is that today she's wearing the new pink coffee apron.

"I told you not to say that to just anyone."

"You're not just anyone. You're my junior."

"I'm tired of this. Are you going to help Puri today?"

"Well, I'm free. I have nothing else to do." You can study. "What would you like, sir? Oh,
if it's the usual, then it's the magnificent frozen chocolate without the whipped cream.
You've been liking it 50% sweet these days, haven't you?"

"Smart as a puppy"

"You can pet my head as a reward." Faifah rushes up to me so suddenly it surprises me. I
stand stiffly while I think of a daring comeback.

"Can you give me your hand instead?"

I extend my hand like the owner of an intelligent dog.

"Sure."

I thought he was joking, but then he placed his large hand on my palm and stunned me. I
swallowed several times.

This is so cute. Is it a human or a dog that captivates me like this?

"Ah... Ah, there's no empty table. Maybe..." I change the subject, withdrawing my hand.

"Don't worry. Come sit with me until there's one, here," Faifah says. She heads to a
battered sofa in the staff area. "Seriously, I'm more worried about having to sit with you."

"I don't feel well."

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"Don't. Come sit here. I'll make you the best hot chocolate I can."
I prefer Puri to do it. Whenever Faifah does it, my throat tightens without fail.

The tall man runs up to me and pushes me onto the sofa. Since there's no table, I read my
textbook instead of summarizing it in a notebook. While I wait, besides Faifah pestering me, an
emotionless cat approaches me and looks at me as if it wants to claim its place.

Accepting that I'm not moving, he jumps onto the couch and falls asleep.

"Did Carrot come here?"

"Is that your name?"

"Yes, this is Carrot. That's Tomato. The tall one is Pepper. The chubby one is Cowpea."
I'd cry if I were the last cat. The other names are so adorable. Why Cowpea?

"And this is Cacao for Wine," he continues softly.

Faifah serves me the hot chocolate with his large hands. I thank him and take the cup.
Look how attentive he is. Since he knew there was no table, he chose a plastic cup wrapped in
tissues to protect my hand from the cold.

"Puri's taking orders," Faifah says quietly, her gaze shifting toward the counter. "There's no
chair. Can I sit with you?"

"Sure, but it's..."

"It's okay. I don't need much space," he says, squeezing in next to me.

The couch would have had more space if Carrot hadn't claimed its spot. Even with cats in mind, a
cat slave like me has to make do.

"Are you comfortable?"

"You're almost on top of me. Turn your face away."

"How fussy. I'm not even complaining about having to put up with the smell of your hair."

"I'm leaving then." I'm about to get up, but he grabs my arm carelessly.

"You can't. Stay here with me and read your book." Who would be able to read with someone
breathing down their neck? I don't even know where to put my hand.

But yes, Mr. Bright's cheeky playful attitude may be annoying at first, but with time I'll get used to
it and won't feel a thing.

Customers come and go constantly during our busy hours.

Unfortunately, Faifah suddenly gets lazy and stops helping his friend, insisting he'll clear the tables
at closing time. We just sit there arguing.
Even the cat wakes up with an angry face and goes back to sleep.

"Shit, it's suddenly raining," the tall man mutters, looking out the window.

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"It's been raining for days. I've given up," I say, putting my textbook in my bag. The café is closing soon,
and there are few customers left.

"How will you return?"

"A motorcycle taxi."

"I can take you."

"Alright."

"Wait a second. Let me help Puri close the café first. If the rain doesn't stop by then, we'll decide
again." Faifah stops me, stands up, and walks slowly over to his best friend at the counter. With plenty of
time on his hands, I offer to prop up chairs at the tables, check the bills, and do other trivial tasks.

Since the café owner barely has time to visit the premises, the part-time worker takes care of everything,
including closing the doors.

"It'll take a while," the tall man sighs. The rain won't stop anytime soon.

"Don't worry. I can go alone. You worry about yourself."

"I came here on my motorcycle."

"Oh."

"But I have raincoats." It's a relief. I don't want him to get wet and sick. I'll be fine because I've loved the
rain since I was a kid. It's him I'm worried about. "Wine, let me take you so you can save money."

"You'll have to come and go. I feel sick."

"If you feel bad, why don't you come with me to my apartment?"

"Hey?"

This is even more confusing.

"Yes! Then it's decided."

"I haven't said anything"

"Bye, Puri. See you tomorrow at the apartment, bro."

"..."

"Okay! Let's go!"

Too puzzled to ask anything, I... Okay, let's go.

I fly through the rain in Faifah's blue raincoat. Thank goodness she has two, so we can each use one and
brave nature. Still, when we arrive, we're all wet.

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"Welcome." Faifah places his key card on the door and opens it. I follow him inside. His
apartment is huge and divided into zones. Plus, it's not as messy as I imagined.

"Very clean."

"I hire a maid to clean my apartment once a week." I can say that. It's incredibly
spotless. "I rent this place. When I earn my own money, I'll move out and buy my
own apartment."

"You can do it. You'll graduate in a few years. But will you get a job?"

"Are you cursing me?"

"That's all in your head." I drop my bag on the couch and look around in amazement.
It's the first time I've entered his personal space. But, oh, there's no way I'm the first
person to come here. "Have you ever brought anyone here?"

"All the time."

"Aren't you denying it?"

"No"

"For sex?"

"You're too much. I usually bring my friends here to do homework, watch movies,
or just relax after coming back from the bars," Faifah says. He strides into his room,
not letting me protest.

Faifah is obviously nervous, his eyes and gestures suspicious. He has the right to have
a one-night stand or take anyone home. He acts as if he's afraid I'll scold him when I'm
merely his junior.

Faifah returns with a white towel extended towards me.

"You're soaked. Go take a shower before you get sick."

"I don't have any new clothes." This is all I have. My bag contains only study materials,
office supplies, and an iPad.

"Don't worry. I'll get you some clothes from my closet. I just put a new toothbrush in the bathroom."

"You're so kind I could cry."

"I'm boyfriend material." Let me jump off the cliff. His confidence is through the roof.

Tired of Faifah praising herself too much, I excuse myself to take a shower. My eyes fall
on an object on the TV shelf.
"Faifah."

"That...?"

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"Is this the wallet you asked me about the other day? You couldn't find the owner?" I'm not mistaken.
The black wallet is still there. The problem is, wouldn't its owner be worried?

"No, I haven't had time to ask Yotha to help me find the owner."

"Oh." I guess it doesn't contain anything of value, since the owner doesn't seem to be looking for it.

"Go take a shower"

"I'm leaving," I say, turning the handle on his bedroom door to use the bathroom inside. I take off my soaked
clothes and wash. The scents of his shampoo and body wash are pleasantly fragrant. Every time we're
together, I smell these soft scents of the tall boy.

After a long shower, I step out of the bathroom and see a pile of clothes on the edge of the bed with no one
around. Hearing the sound of the TV, I know he's watching.
a program.

I dress quickly, hang up my towel carefully, and leave the bedroom. Worried about getting sick from the walk
in the rain instead of worrying about him, Faifah sits there in his wet clothes. Not that a huge guy can't get sick.

"What are you watching?"

"I'm just watching the programs"

"Go take a shower. It'll be awful if you're sick."

"Okay. We'll get something to eat when I'm done. Or if you're hungry, you can order something first."

"I'll wait. How can I eat first?"

"Dry your hair." Faifah ruffles my hair and disappears into the bedroom.

I never struggle with drying my hair; I just give it a little dry and everything's fine. So, I spend my free time
exploring the apartment. Every corner is spotless except the kitchen sink, filled with dishes and utensils. Not
to mention a pile of glasses there. What a source of germs!

I'm terrible at housework and terrible at sorting clothes. I'm barely capable of doing anything and prefer to do
nothing most of the time. But now that I've seen your sink, I somehow feel the need to take care of it.

I grab the sponge, turn on the tap, and put in some dish soap. The basic housework class has begun...

Once I finished washing all the dishes, the owner of the apartment finished showering.

Faifah appears with only a towel around her waist, her tall body covered in water droplets. An astonishing
sight, but she's a spoilsport. Instead of posing, she playfully hops up to me and fixes her bright eyes on the
clean plates.

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"People usually leave my apartment a mess, but you clean it up. I'm so happy I wish
you'd move in here. Waaaaaaah."

"You're overreacting. I'm no good at this, but I should do nice things since I'm
bothering you."

"What do you want to eat, Wine? I'll pay you well."

"Me? Until..."

Knock-knock-knock.

What a perfect moment. I haven't finished my sentence when someone knocks on the door.
We turn to where the sound is coming from and Faifah approaches the door and opens it with an angry face.

"Why are you here right now?"

He asks his twin brother, bored and expressionless.

"I come here all the time. What the hell is wrong with you?" Yotha walks in without wasting another
second and sees me standing stupidly by the sink. Haha, what do I do? I smile innocently.

"Did you bring him here?" Mr. Dark Engineering asks his twin brother.
Faster, I greet my mentor hurriedly.

"Hello...Hello, Yotha."

"Hey, Wine," he replies, then proceeds to press Faifah, "So?"

"It's raining. I brought it here to protect it from the rain."

"I see. I came by car. What do you think if I take Wine?"

"Fuck off." Shit, are they going to fight? "I have a car."

"Then take him for a walk. Or I can do it if you're feeling lazy. Anyway, I'm going to
see Beagle at a cafe near the university."

"Get to the point."

Faifah changes the subject, to my bewilderment, I guess he doesn't want to change the
plan since we agreed that I would stay and he would take me back to the dorm tomorrow.

"I'm here to get my Marshall speaker."

"What's your hurry? You could have called me and asked me to return it to you later."

"My laptop speaker is broken. I need it."

"Okay, let me go get it."

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The younger twin brother understands the brief conversation and goes into his bedroom to look for his twin
brother's item. While he waits, Yotha approaches the counter and asks me in her usual soft, low voice.

"Do you come here often?"

"It's my first time here," I admit. It's the first time I've visited someone else's house since I started college,
to be exact, but I won't tell them. Let's talk about something else.

I instantly remember my previous conversation with Faifah.

"Yotha."

"That..."

"Faifah said she'd ask you to find the owner of this wallet. I don't know if she's told you yet."

"A wallet?"

"Yes. Someone left him their wallet the day Nop proposed to his fiancée."

"Where is it?" Yotha asks. Before she can answer, the tall figure strides away from the counter and into the
living room, where the wallet is on the TV shelf.

"..."

"This one?" Yotha asks, holding up her wallet.

I nod and he enlightens me.

"It's Faifah's. She just bought it."

"..."

"Who am I supposed to return it to?"

Fucking ridiculous.

What's wrong with Faifah? Why did she lie?

He's been tricking me like I'm an idiot. Before I can call him, my roommate and best friend calls me.

[Wine, asshole, where are you?], J blurts out before I even say a word, the anxiety in his voice flooding me
with guilt. It's been us against the world this whole time. J is always worried about me, except when he sees
a girl his type, and his crushes are countless.

"At Faifah's apartment. I texted you and you didn't read it, you son of a bitch."

[Oh?] Her voice turns all soft.

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"Yeah."

[What are you doing there?]

"It's raining."

[What's the problem? Are you going to stay there?]

"Yeah, don't worry. Take care. How's it going with the girl?"

[Another flop. Don't mention it now. My heart aches.] Here it goes, the same old story over and over
again. He's an attractive guy with a nice personality, though his fashion is questionable. I wonder why girls
hardly ever fall for him.

The girls' reasons are reasonable, however. Some prefer someone their own age or older. Others like older
people. That's why a boyish-looking guy like him isn't attractive to them. Well, so what? Young people have
hearts too. He just needs to wait for the one who will one day show up.

"I'm sorry. Let's talk when your heart heals."

[Before you give me advice, let's talk about you.] So now what? The headache is already terrible enough.
[You don't know that, do you?]

"Let it go."

[I've been snooping around the Tor account for some time. Today I discovered...]

"That...?"

The anticipation is killing me, you piece of shit. Just say it.

[Tor broke up with his girlfriend a while ago and told his friends about it recently.]

I see. Why is this exciting? He'll recover from this pain eventually and move on to another girl, and my hope
will slowly fade and eventually go out.

"So what? It's not like he's going out with me."

[Aha, you don't know anything. There's something crazier. Listen carefully.]

"..."

[Tor broke up with his girlfriend.]

"..."

[And he came out as gay.]

"Holy crap." This is absolutely insane. I'm going to cry, my hand shaking around my phone. "Tor is gay.
You just said Tor is gay."

[Yes! You have one chance, friend. Send him a friend request. Now.]

"Do you think it's a good idea?"

[At this rate, stop hesitating. Hang up and go for it.]

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"If you say so"

[Yes, that's all. I'll go check on Ben now. He has acid reflux.]

The conversation ends, and I remain on the couch in the same position, my brain processing
the information one by one. I never imagined things would turn out this way or that luck would
be on my side. Even though I know I have little chance of winning her heart, at least I have a
chance.

This is the best news of the year. I can't pass up this opportunity.

I take a deep breath and click on the familiar app icon.

Since I remember her name by heart, I patiently type her name in English letter by letter before
it processes it and displays her profile.

I'm sending you a friend request without hesitation and I hope...

"Were you talking to your friend?"

Surprised by the interruption, I quickly turn to Faifah. She comes over in her cute pajamas and
sits next to me without breaking eye contact.

"J called."

"I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I heard your voice. What happened?"

He's like a father finding fault with his misbehaving son. Why am I nervous?

"The guy I was in love with, uh... my ex-girlfriend's brother, broke up with his girlfriend."

"AND?"

"He came out as gay. J suggested I try it out for him."

"Do you still like it?"

"I guess"

Her beautiful face shows no emotion and I can't understand what she's thinking or how she sees the situation.

Silence envelops us for a few moments as it pours with rain outside, increasing the chill in the air. Faifah
remains silent for so long that I feel uneasy.

"Do..."

DING!

I get the notification. I flip my phone over to see the name of my crush. It all happened so fast I
can't keep up...

Tor Tanakhun accepted your friend request.

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The moment I look away from my phone, I meet the tall boy's gaze and see a smile
slowly spread across his face, which until then had been devoid of any emotion. My
heart aches for a reason.

"If you still like it, why don't you let me help you?"

He asks me with a thoughtful voice that makes me feel like crying.

"..."

"I'll make it work"

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CHAPTER 08: HEY, I'VE GROWN UP!

There are several romantic movies in my heart. Some were released a long time ago.
Others are more recent. Some were released when I was a child and are still in my heart. If I had to compare
my first love to a movie, there would be multiple aspects to consider.

Toey always pops up in my high school memories, mischievous as Noina in My Girl and adorable as Nam
in A Little Thing Called Love. The difference is, I'm nothing like Shone, the cute boy at school. I think I'm
more like Denchai in One Day.

Today I watched an old movie J found. Since it was Toey's favorite romance movie, I couldn't help but talk
about it while watching. In the end, I figured out how to deal with the unresolved issue.

Now that I know Tor is gay, my hope is rekindled. Still, it would be awful to move on without finding closure
in my past relationship. Toey's dating someone else—in fact, she's moving on without waiting for me to
explain myself—but I feel terribly ashamed for never having confessed who I am to her.

The ending of this story should be more beautiful, at least.

Even though she has blocked me and denied contact many times, I will not give up.

"H...Hello?"

After gathering courage for a long time, I finally called my ex-girlfriend.

It's all thanks to Jenjob, who asked for my contact information after blocking me from everything. Although I
knew that thinking about me hurt him, I had no choice and decided to be shameless for a
time.

Fortunately, Toey didn't avoid me like before this time.

[Mm.] She answers briefly and falls silent.

Toey knows it's me. She's known it since J contacted her and now that she hears my voice.
We had been dating for a year, going through good, bad, and memorable times together, and unfortunately,
I had to ruin it all.

"It's been a while. How are you? Are you doing well?"

I've always wanted to ask you these questions, the only things I have in my brain.

[Yes, I'm happy.] Her tone of voice is calm. Are you still angry with me? Will you never forgive me? These
questions run through my mind without me saying them out loud.

A deathly silence falls over the entire place. Finally, Toey manages to break it.

[How are you?]

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"Okay. I got the Polaroid camera. Shit!" Shit! I slipped.

Who would have thought that my friend, observing the situation closely, would kick me so hard I'd
shake? Recovering, I effusively said, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't swear. I accidentally kicked
a table leg."

Inhale, exhale. This is supposed to be an honest call, but I'm already lying to him.

That bastard sends me a signal with his eyes, obviously trying to control the damage. I'm the kind
of guy who says and does things I shouldn't when I'm really nervous.
I shouldn't have mentioned the Polaroid camera.

I made mistakes over and over again, feeling like I was banging my head against a wall.

[Oh.] Another deathly silence.

"Are you free? Can we talk?"

[Yes. J said you wanted to talk to me.]

I take a deep breath and compose myself. I'll tell him what I've been waiting to tell him all this time,
a confession from my heart, even though he might not forgive me.

"Now I know why you left me. I was selfish and hid the truth from you, and it's horrible
that... I let time pass like that and hurt your feelings."

[Are you reading the script?]

"No, I don't. I prepared my words, though." Shit, why did I say that?

[You've never changed. To be honest, I'd suspected for some time, but I didn't want to jump
to conclusions. But when I found the box of memories you so possessed, I was sure.]

"..."

[Since there was no point in forcing the answer out of you or forcing you to come out, I
waited for you to tell me yourself. But that day never came, so I decided to disappear.]

We were a couple unlike any other.

We never held hands or kissed on the lips, we only kissed on the cheeks. Our friends even teased
us, saying we were like a kindergarten couple. We spent each day with good intentions toward
each other. She tutored me, and I babysat for her. We ate lunch together in the cafeteria and
listened to music with the same headphones. On weekends, we visited places that interested us,
watched movies, and repeated them.

We loved each other as friends, with attachment rather than romance.

"I'm sorry, Toey. I don't know what else to say. I'm so sorry it took me so long to tell you."

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I should have apologized a long time ago, the day I was sure I liked boys, but I was too cowardly to accept
myself and ended up hurting the person I loved.

[Wine, it's never too late to accept yourself.]

I didn't expect to hear this from Toey. It's a weight off my shoulders.

"At that moment, my feelings for you weren't a lie."

[Why wouldn't I know?]

"When I flirted with you, I really liked you."

Toey wore a white ribbon in her hair every day to school, even wearing the forbidden ankle
socks. She sat under the tree on the sports field or sang covers of popular girl group songs.

That's what I saw every day at school, and it was real. The reality of the situation prompted
me to introduce myself, ask for her number, and start talking to her.

Although it's a shame we're no longer together, I wish you happiness after enduring the pain
of what I am.

"Are you mad at me?"

[At first I was, but then I realized it wouldn't be easy for you to accept yourself and
come out right away. I was trying really hard not to ruin that moment for you.] Her
voice softens, sweet and gentle. [...And you finally did it.]

"I haven't officially come out yet, but I told someone. It took immense courage to tell
that person."

[How did it go?]

"Excellent."

[Good for you.]

"Toey, can we be friends again?" I was scared. I was scared of losing her forever. When I found out she'd
blocked me on every platform, my heart shattered.

[Of course. I've been running away from the truth for so long, but life without you
feels a little lonely.]

Those words made me smile. A huge smile.

"Thank you. Is Pattarapong good to you?"

[His name is Oooke. He's good. He's determined, decisive, and has leadership qualities.
Also, her goal in life is soooo clear.] Ugggh, if you're going to indirectly insult me like this,
spit it in my face. I'm not anything she's said.

"I was just asking. Why are you bragging?"

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She laughs on the other side. Apparently, the ice shield surrounding her has melted.

[Wine, I suppose you know that my brother is gay.]

"Yes, J told me."

[I never told him about you, I just asked him to unfriend you on Facebook. He
thought our breakup was so painful for me that I never wanted to see your face
again. But now... I don't care.]
"..."

[If you still like my brother, work on it yourself.]

Those are his last words before he hangs up. I sit there, the phone to my ear, as
everything collapses around me.

Is it okay for me to like Tor? Do I have the right to like it?

The moment I look into my best friend's eyes, the answer emerges.

Well, everyone has moved on. And I should do the same.

Last time, I was a coach training Faifah to be a normal human being. Today, we've
switched places. I'm going to trust him to change my boring, submissive, purposeless,
joyless, and indecisive life for the better.

I will be a better person than before.

I told Faifah about my conversation with Toey and he congratulated me for doing well, without
disdain, which boosted my low confidence.

"We don't have a middle ground, do we?" Faifah looks away from Cowbean, who's sleeping on her lap, and
frowns. "My life is dull and boring, and yours is too colorful."

"It's a good thing. It reminds me of my twin brother's relationship. A mean puppy

and a deadpan human, a perfect match."

My poor mentor. If he knew his twin brother was insulting him, he'd definitely punch him
in the face.

"And we're the boring homebody and the electric guy?"

"Wine, you're really bad at naming things." Mr. Bright shakes his head and pats me
comfortingly.

He pets both cats and humans.

"Sigh, will this work?"

"Come on, I'll share my colors with you. We can attract people in all kinds of ways.
Trust me. After this course, you'll be bursting with self-esteem, fashionable, and
super popular. I guarantee that Tom will reciprocate your feelings."

"His name is Tor. Why do you always call people by different names?"

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Faifah shrugs unfazed. She takes a small notebook out of her bag, flips through the pages for a moment,
and stares at me.

"Last time you analyzed my personality. This time I made you a list."

"Wow, you're serious."

I never imagined someone would go so far for others. Seriously, it's enough to listen to me and spend time
together. Faifah, however, goes beyond that. He's much more caring...

"How can someone be handsome, kind, and talented? I'm very proud of myself."

Damn. I take it all back.

"Let others praise you. You are always praising yourself."

"You must recognize your good traits."

"Could you get to the point, please?" He's thinking about a thousand things.

"Okay, here's your schedule." Faifah places a B6 notebook in front of me, showing a handwritten schedule
in her messy handwriting.

"Boohoo, I'm going to cry." I mean it.

"It's okay, Wine. I know you're moved."

"No, I can't read your handwriting. It's very messy."

"If Cowbean weren't on my lap, I'd kick your ass. I may look kind, but I can be brutal." Oh, he was just
kidding, and he got dramatic. He'll handle being a bully.

"I'm sorry."

"Is there any part you disagree with?"

"Let me ask you something. Is this a self-improvement session or a religious outing? Why do I have
such a busy schedule?"

"Do you want to fight?" I back away when he raises his hand.

"Calm down."

The waiter slowly serves us our drinks and desserts. Since it's not Puri's turn, Faifah and I are here as
customers. In fact, Sweet Song Café has been our regular hangout lately.

The tall guy slides my iced chocolate toward me, sips his coffee, and inspects his note with all seriousness.

"Although we know each other quite well, there's much more to learn. Answer my questions," Faifah
says simply. I nod quickly.

"What is it?"

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"Once you answer, I'll process it with my advanced brain."

You see? He keeps praising himself. Oh my God!

I don't need any confirmation to realize that this battle will be a disaster.

"Wanna get started? Stop blabbing."

"You're an impatient kid. Let's get started then... What's your favorite color?" Faifah asks,
looking annoyed. What a pain.

Easy. I'll tell you what my favorite colors are, in no particular order.

"Yellow, light green, blue, orange and also purple."

"You like all the Pantone colors, huh? Pick just a few."

Shit. You don't have to go to the boxing ring to see a fight. Me against Faifah.

"If I had to choose just a few, I would choose yellow, orange, and light green."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah"

The charming boy nods and writes down my answer.

I haven't seen his serious side in a long time. He's usually playful and cheeky. How lucky I am to
witness this.

"Your favorite type of music." Here comes the second question.

"Soft hip-hop. I don't know the titles, so don't ask. I usually put on the playlists."

"This kind of music is my thing. Do you want me to sing for you?"

"N... No, thank you. Please don't. I'm begging you."

"Fuck you." I try to change the subject to save myself.

"I just remember there's a band I listen to, but I don't know their style of music.
Someone introduced me to them" It was Faifah who got me addicted to this song.

"What band?"

"Dept."

"From me, huh?"

"Well, yes."

"What's your favorite song?"

"Similar."

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"Same here. I like the chorus: The way you look at me changes my whole world..." I
can't help but sing along.

"As long as you hold my hand and never let go"

"Only you, only you."

We sing the last verse together. Even though I'm singing off-key, Faifah smiles, not caring.

"I'm sure you really like it."

"I like a lot of songs and bands. Yes..."

"That's enough. No need to go into any further details. I saw the poster." In addition to meeting everyone

world on campus, Faifah probably knows a ton of songs, listens to so many that she can sing
along. If another customer walks into the cafe, Faifah will claim to like the same kind of music
they like, as if it were fate.

Still, I can't deny that I enjoyed singing the short verse above.

"Moving on." Back to the point.

The tall man agrees. He takes a sip of coffee and continues.

"You and Tor go to different colleges, which means the easiest way to communicate is through social
media, right? Let me ask you how you'd start a conversation with him."

I roll my eyes as I think and realize.

"Mm... can that be 'Hello'?"

"I wouldn't answer you and I would block you."

"Because?"

"Why not? That greeting is a bit silly. Want my advice?"

"Yeah."

"Hey! Write it down!" Faifah orders sternly. I pull the notebook toward me and place a pen
on it to jot down her advice.

"I will do that."

"Hi, I'm Wine, your junior."

"'Hello, I'm Wine'... 'your junior'" I write what Faifah says word for word and without
errors.

"I don't know if you remember me. It's been years since we last spoke."

"Actually, less than a year ago. He removed me from his friends list a few months ago."

Sorry for the interruption, but that is misinformation.

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"Yeah, whatever. It's been months since we talked. I had a lot to tell you, but I never
got the chance. I wonder if you're happy now."

"I can't keep up. Wait."

"Hurry up."

"Can you repeat that?"

"I forgot. Think about it yourself."

Damn. I only wrote half of it. What about the rest? Lost, I assume the context and write
something just to get slapped on the hand.

"This part is: 'I wonder if you're happy right now.'"

"Ohhh, go on."

"Are you satisfied with your life now?"

"Are you satisfied with your life now...?"

"Are you interested in business? Are you traveling and resting well?"

"Wait. I seem to be trying to sell something."

"Don't argue! Just write it. On second thought, let's adjust the last sentence."

I'm starting to get suspicious. Is Faifah intentionally messing with me? Given his serious
expression, I follow him.

After writing and deleting for a while, this is all I get.

'Hey, Tor, it's been a while since we last talked.' That's all. Really.

Give me back the last fifteen minutes.

After the initial conversation with the person I like, we move on to adjusting my appearance.

"Let me see your face."

I bring my face close to the tall boy's and he immediately pushes me away with his big hand.

"Too close."

"You wanted to see my face."

"How annoying. Can I touch your cheeks?"

"Because?"

I haven't even let him pinch my cheeks and pull them hard. Seriously, the flesh on my
cheeks could come off like that. Aside from that, he's taunting me with his annoying voice.

"God, not as soft as mine."

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"I can't beat you at this." One of the four things about him is his cheeks, which he claims are
softer than anyone else's. His cheeks may be soft, but his skin is thick. "Where should I get
them fixed? Do I need plastic surgery?"

"That's too much. You're already cute. There's nothing to fix."

"I'm glad for your words today."

"Are you a narcissist like me now?"

"Hell no." He's way worse than me.

Faifah praises himself from head to toe, even his own personality. If he hadn't been so kind,
people would have insulted him to the fullest.

"Wine, show me your smile." I flash him a huge grin, though my lips feel a little tense.

"You could torment a child with that smile. It's very scary."

Oh...

"How am I supposed to smile?"

"Like me."

Faifah smiles as an example, and I try to imitate her. It's difficult and exhausting. Why do I smile
like someone who's been dumped and is happy that their ex has found a new love? Hooray!

"Wine, you look like you're about to cry. Stop it."

"I don't know how to do it."

"He acts cute like me," Faifah says, waving her hands in a way that's adorable, like no one
can top. And I... like it a lot.

"That's it. That's the smile."

Oh, am I smiling? I wouldn't have noticed if the tall guy hadn't pointed it out to me.

"Is this okay?"

"That's fucking attractive."

Faifah says that with my killer smile as a weapon, there's nothing to worry about. It's time to change my
fashion style.

"Your fashion isn't good. It's ordinary and timid, to say the least."

This weekend I find myself on a mission that takes me from the café to Faifah's apartment. Now
that I'm here, we rummage through his closet and lay out his clothes on his bed. Since I have
no idea where to start, I wait for him to guide me.

"Sorry, I don't know anything about fashion."

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J and I are exactly the same, except he's handsome and tall, basically perfect for any look, even
if he manages to make ridiculous combinations.

"I'll help you. Why don't you make your entry today, November 15th? Invite J and Ben."

"If you like."

"You're the cutest."

"You use that word too much."

"So what? I'm saying this because you're cute."

"And you are handsome"

"Oh, I'm blushing." You should have seen his face when he said that. He overreacts so much
that I never want to compliment him again.

I watch Faifah search through the pile of clothes on the bed, pull the hanging garments out of the
closet, and place them one by one on my body in front of the mirror. It takes her a while to choose
the best outfit.

"This one looks great on you." Faifah presses her lips together and looks at my body with the
neon green shirt on. "Try it on. It's a big size, but you can tuck it into your pants. Plus-size
shirts are in fashion." She continues looking for matching pants.

I'm not ready for this. The color hurts my eyes. You'd see me lit up even from a mile away.

"I borrowed a bunch of Kun's pants. This shape will probably fit you well. You'll be a star."

"In heaven?"

"Yeah"

Ugh, I was just throwing the bait and he betrayed me by not completing my prank.

I accept the pants from the tall boy, hurry to the bathroom, take off my regular clothes, and put on
my fashionable ones. Damn, the shirt is pretty bad, but the pants are painfully tight. Does Kun
wear something like that?

"Are you done? Let me see."

Without time to waste or complain, I open the door to confront the guy outside. Seriously, my legs
barely have any strength left. My balls are tight like crazy. My lower body feels numb.

"How do I look?" I can't even cry. Is fate playing a trick on me?

If love is a fight, I don't mind being alone.

"It's not enough." His response is absolutely a confidence boost. Waaaaah.

"Put on your jacket."

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A black jacket flies and lands on my head.

"And a hat...super trendy."

And a red hat.

That's not all...

"And sunglasses."

There's more!

"A scarf."

Now that I'm fully dressed, I look at myself in the mirror from head to toe and curse my
life in my mind.

Wow, I look like a moving designer goods store.

"Isn't it too much? It's hot." The air conditioning is no longer of any use. The problem
is the jacket and scarf, which act as a heater. I could faint while walking due to the
unbearable heat.

"I think you look good. Not too good. Post a picture of your outfit on Facebook
and Tor will probably react." He mocked me.

"Are you sure?" I ask, hiding a sob.

"One million percent. Who wouldn't look at you? A Valentino shirt, a Chanel
jacket, a Louis Vuitton scarf, Prada glasses, and, of course, Gucci shoes."

Holy crap! I've never seen someone wear every brand at once. Don't they usually wear the same brand for
an outfit? Plus, it's scorching hot with this scarf around my neck. It's like the bar is so cold.

"Be confident, kid. I told you you look good because you do."

"Would you say I look horrible if I do that?"

"You'll never look horrible. Do you want to go to the bedroom in this outfit first?"

"Oh, no"

I will make my entry on November 15th.

The test at noon. Dinner at night. At night, Faifah picks me and my friends up from the dorm and gives me a
makeover in his apartment. He must have watched several series and be obsessed with makeovers, though
my result is quite different.

He used to look like a human, but not anymore after the makeover.

It's the same outfit as before. How does it match? A big, flashy shirt, tight pants that
pinch my crotch, a very warm jacket, a designer scarf, and a red hat.

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Finally, the time comes to show my outfit to my two friends sitting on the couch. When they see
me, they say nothing and applaud halfheartedly.

You know what I'm up against now, right? This is the downside of following Faifah's advice.

"Oh!"

"You look different today, Wine. What's gotten into you?"

Damn.

Why did Newton only notice my appearance when the three of us walked into the bar together?
Not to mention the negative tone. Sigh, I made a mistake trusting that strange guy.

My friends and I sit at the bar counter. I cover my face with my hand to hide from the other
customers.

"Faifah chose my outfit."

"Is he playing with you?" Newton asks.

"I don't know, but..." The tall guy marches toward me, hogging everyone's attention.

This hell of a guy. He's dressed exactly like me and is incredibly proud of his own black scarf.

"Both of you should get a brain scan," says Nop this time, not Newton.

"Oh, we're fashionistas"

I was speechless, and my friends remained silent, shocked, so Mr. Brilliant was the only one
who stood up for himself. How could he win the contest and become Campus Prince? There's
nothing extraordinary about him.

"Why are they dressed the same?"

"Wine had no confidence, so I joined."

"What a headache! Keep in mind the bar atmosphere, will you? Your brother is wearing a
T-shirt and sandals."

Oh, you're right. And the shirt is loose, like she usually wears to bed.

"Newton does not respect location," Newton replies, not tolerating the slander.

"And you? What do you respect, a damn sanctuary? Did the dogs howl at you when you got out of the
car?"

"They howl with love, you piece of shit."

Let the brothers fight. It's going to take a while. They might drag themselves outside to have a
fistfight over their clothing.

"Wine, it's so good." J punches me in the arm in the middle of the fight.

"What the fuck?"

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"This bar is full of pretty girls"

"Again? If you step into the bro zone again, I won't comfort you."

"Hey~, haven't you ever heard that saying: Being hurt by love is better than never having loved at
all?" If he's being so dramatic, it means he can't wait to dive into it.

"Do what you want" J drags Ben into a fantastic adventure.

Most of the clients here are adults; they're not the target of many students, but that's not the
case with my friend, who likes older girls. I'd been looking for juniors and seniors until I
realized he preferred someone even older, especially someone with a motherly attitude.

I snap out of my train of thought and find myself alone. Nop is making drinks for the
customers, Newton is nowhere to be seen, and Faifah is struggling to get close to me in her
tight jeans.

"Nope, can I have a cocktail with a nice color? Wine needs it as a prop to enhance its
image."

"What are you doing? Trying to impress a girl?"

"Something like that."

Faifah raises her eyebrow at me arrogantly after answering the older boy.

"What's your name? Nice scarf. Perfect for reselling." This asshole...

"I'm Wine. How about you? Your pants are so tight you could fly in them."

Take that.

"I'm Faifah. I'm single, kind, and I drive a ten million baht Macaroni.
"Are you interested?"

I lost interest in you the moment you said you were driving a Macaroni, you idiot.

I don't understand. Faifah is a very silly guy, but I love talking nonsense with him.

"No, I'm in love with someone else."

"My God, beautiful people are cruel."

"What the fuck is wrong with you two?"

"Ooh!" the bartender startles us. He places a beautiful light pink cocktail glass in front of me
and returns to his post without waiting for a response.

We also finished the role-play. The handsome boy became more serious than before.

"This is just a prop. You can't drink it. Children drink milk and go to sleep." You
shouldn't have brought me here in the first place. "Put your chin on the palm of your hand
and flutter your eyelids sensually."

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I follow his instructions like a fool.

"Your eyes are bulging. Try again."

"Why this pose?"

"I'll take a picture of you to post on Facebook. Stop asking and give me the sexy
eyes."

"Like this?"

It was hard to make the killer smile, but sexy eyes are much harder.

"That's fine. Stay like that. Let me focus." Faifah takes out his phone and captures
me from different angles.

"It's hot, Faifah. Can I take off my scarf and hat?"

"I will do it too."

"Just admit it's hot."

"Don't act smart. Let's change your mood. Smile a little. Smile."

I stare into the camera and give my rehearsed little smile. Ready, the photographer takes
several photos and shows them to me from time to time.

"See? Who wouldn't like that?"

"Only you flatter me."

He responds with a smile and continues diligently.

Faifah has taken about a hundred photos of me. I choose the one I like best and post it on
Facebook without a caption. Then I wait for a response.

Faifah's plan to get my crush's attention is to get me to post my best photo online. Besides trying to create a
stir, my ultimate goal is to get Tor's attention.

Since I sent Tor a friend request for the second time and he accepted it shortly after, I texted him as Faifah
suggested. We talked. Sometimes it lasted quite a while. Sometimes I was so exhausted from my days that I
just texted him goodnight.

I never told him I liked him, but I think he knew. That would explain why he talked to me
at a distance.

To be closer to him, I must prove my worth.

'Faifah Thanawanyotha: The cutest.'

Within seconds of posting the photo, I receive the first comment from my photographer.
Faifah is a flatterer, considering this isn't his first time. I've lost count.

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Why is Faifah so addicted to the word 'cute'? Besides 'the cutest,' she says, 'cute again,'
'super cute,' and so on.

As it turns out, besides Tor, I've been waiting for Faifah to like and comment on my posts with
her overuse of the word 'cute' without getting bored of it.

"You're popular today, Wine. The number of likes is skyrocketing," Faifah jokes as he scrolls through
the update.

"Of course. Because in that photo I'm not wearing your scarf."

"Come on, it's Louis Vuitton."

"It suits everyone except me"

DING!!

The notification diverts our attention from the conversation to my phone. My heart

I beat loudly when I hear the name of the man I've been waiting for and I scream with joy.

"Shit, he liked it."

"Kyaaaaaaaa!" Faifah reacts even more dramatically. We jump out of our seats, high-five,
and jump for joy in front of the bar counter.

"He commented. I'm dying. I'm dying."

But...

'You look strange today, Wine.'

I look at the tall boy with questions flooding my mind.

"Is that a compliment or an insult?"

"A compliment. Who would insult you?"

His confidence brings a smile to my face. It's all thanks to him.

"Thank you, Faifah. I'm very happy today."

For you...

"You're welcome, I'm happy too."

Only you.

"I borrowed a film camera from Warich"

Who is it? New names pop up every day. Noticing my confusion, he explains, "Another
business partner of my brother's. He said this camera was fantastic and let me try it
out."

"Are you sure it won't blur?" I ask cautiously.

"It won't. I'm skilled. Also, you can upload the photo to increase your popularity.
This time he will press the heart and comment more than two lines."

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Anticipation lights the fire in me.

Okay! I'll do everything from firewalking to a photoshoot on a crocodile farm.

"Whatever you want."

"Deal!"

After going into more detail about my Sunday schedule, we busied ourselves preparing my outfit. We never
go casual because Faifah always goes overboard. After that shiny shirt and those tight pants that hurt my
balls, I'm not afraid of anything else. I don't even mind a leopard print outfit. It would definitely be the talk of
the town.

Rawr ~

My life has become colorful not because of love but because of Mr. Bright. I've adapted
my current schedule to spend time with my friends as much as possible. Besides classes,
I spend most of my time with them and dedicate a little time to Faifah.

But can you believe I've been in love waiting to spend this little time with him?

"Did you know there's a legend about the spiral staircase in the electrical engineering building?"

On Sunday at 9 a.m., the building is quiet and deserted. Perfect for taking photographs
for my special collection.

"Oh, Yotha told me you'll be cursed and won't graduate for four years if you run
into him."

"Nonsense. It's not that." Oh...

"Is there another legend?" Faifah takes two steps forward, raises the camera to his eye,
finds the right angle, and captures the photo.

"They say that if a couple tells each other here that they love each other, they will be together until old age."

"Actually?"

"Don't disrespect the legend. It's been proven true many times over."

I take another step up, and Faifah playfully retreats. Not giving up, I continue climbing the
ladder until Faifah flees to the top, forced to stay there with no way out.

"You lost."

I show a victorious smile.

"Look at the camera, Wine." Faifah changes the subject instead of responding to that
comment and focuses on the viewfinder. Standing on the step below him, confused, I
simply stare at the tall man above me.

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"Did you take it? I don't know what to do with my face."

"Just smile like before."

I don't know how to act. I can't just smile. I get even more tense in front of the camera, and
I solve the problem by not smiling.

"Did you take it?"

"No, it won't focus."

"You're taking too long," I complain, noticing his perfectly shaped lips curve into a smile
that both delights and intrigues me.

"Why are you smiling?"

"No, am I smiling?" Faifah replies without lowering the camera.

"Are you playing with me?"

"Why would I do that?"

SNAP!

Finally press the shutter button.

"Let me take your picture," I offer to be the photographer despite my lack of skills. Not to
mention that film cameras are more complicated because you can't retouch the photos.
There's no way to fix ruined ones. It's special because we're spending time together
anyway.

"Why don't we take a picture? Not just one. I have tons of those."

"What a popular man" What more can I say?

"Of course," Faifah agrees.

The tall boy sits on the bottom step of the stairs and pulls me to sit next to him. We get so
close we can hear each other breathing. It's one of the few times I can see his profile so
close and I can't tear my eyes away; I'm completely under his spell.

"Look at the camera" Faifah removes the spell against my will.

He extends the camera at arm's length, points it with his eyes, and...

SNAP!

Our memory has been recorded.

We have several well-known film scanner services near the university.

After consulting with an expert friend of Faifah's, we selected the service that best suited our style. Two
hours later, all the photos were sent to my email.

"Film cameras aren't the best choice for selfies."

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I mutter to myself, knowing the tall man can hear me. Among all the photos, I pay no attention to any,
except the last one of Faifah and me.

The photo is low quality, completely blurry but identifiable. There are some clear photos and some crooked
ones, which is normal. Faifah isn't a professional at this. He did it quite well.

"Where's that photo?" I've looked back at the gallery several times. You can't miss it.

"Which?"

"The one where I'm looking at you from the stairs. It took you a long time to make that one. Didn't you
take it?"

"Here it is." Faifah points to the photo she took on the stairs, but I remember not making that face at the
time. I want to see the photo where I'm smiling.

"Not this one. Scroll back."

"Oh, that one... I didn't take it."

"Oh."

"I just wanted to look. That's all."

"What a shame"

"It's okay," he comforts, smiling for some reason.

What is there to be happy about?

"How should I write the title this time?"

"Photographed by a handsome man"

"Ugh."

"Declare your purpose. I'm single. I want to talk to someone like crazy."

That sounds worse.

"I won't ask you any more."

"What will you say?"

"Nothing. I'm not going to publish it."

"No good photos? Look. They're all nice." Faifah continues scrolling. If I really want to post, there are
plenty to choose from, as she pointed out.

"I know, but I feel a certain sense of possessiveness toward them. I want to keep them for myself."

I don't know what you're thinking, but I have my answer.

The reason I don't want to share these photos is petty. I simply hope to preserve the memory of that day
just for us.

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"I'm hungry. What do you want to eat? I'll write it down for you."

Once the photoshoot and the mission of digitizing the film photos were over, Faifah and I
dragged our tired bodies to the rice dish restaurant near the university. A simple restaurant
with self-service water and written orders.

I read the menu on the huge poster on the wall and took a moment to decide.

"A large piece of pork fried with pepper and garlic, plus extra garlic."

"I want that too," the older man says, writing it in the messy handwriting I often tease him
about. Faifah never thinks about his own menus when we eat together. He'd copy me, and the
chef would prepare our order at the same time.

"I'm going to bring us water."

"All right, kid." I hate it when he calls me that.

Faifah passes the note to the restaurant owner as I walk toward the self-service area. They
have free ice, but you have to buy water. I grab another bottle for the tall guy.

The owner cooks quickly. Shortly after, two large pieces of fried pork with garlic and pepper
are served, along with rice. We eat and talk about everything from the weather, the strict
teachers, the challenging subjects, to current events on campus.

"Can I ask you something? I don't mean to intrude."

"Do you have a conscience?" I say, laughing. He hits me on the head.

"You!"

"What do you want to ask?"

"Why do you like Tor?" How did we get back to my personal life? Faifah looks serious.

"First impressions, I guess."

There were almost two thousand students at the school, but it wasn't considered a large
number, and it was common to run into the same people often. Tor was my oldest. I'd seen
him occasionally until he graduated. Back then, my feelings for him were nothing more than
admiration.

But when I dated Toey often, one day she took me to her house, and I was able to meet Tor
again when I was a college student. He was polite, kind, and always considerate, never
hesitating to help me with my problems. As the days passed, my admiration grew into
something more.

I started collecting the things he gave me, whether it was a water bottle, a manga, or even
colored pencil wrappers. I was obsessed with him. Before I knew it, I'd fallen head over heels
for him.

Unfortunately, Tor had a girlfriend soon after. I kept my feelings for him in a box of memories I
never wanted to open.

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"What were the first impressions?"

"He was very kind to me"

"I'm nice to you too," Faifah says.

"It's different."

"What's so great about him? What made you so attracted to him?"

How strange. I can't understand Faifah's thoughts right now. Since I'm not keeping any
secrets from her, I answer her while eating the garlic pork.

"He's great."

"I'm cooler."

"He is kind."

"I'm kind to everyone in this world. I also love animals."

"He gave me private lessons."

"Hey... who taught you English that day?"

Damn, Faifah shares the same good qualities as Tor. She's bragging right now.

"Tor is smart and has good grades."

"I got an A in physics"

Yes, you are the best in the world and the sexiest in the universe.

"It's simple and not demanding."

"I'm the calmest person in the world. I once ate tortillas for a week and didn't shower
for three days without any problems."

Hey...

"Those are not good things."

"Come on..."

"Are you asking or are you lying?"

"I don't mind. "

Now that I think about it, Faifah was right about all those answers. Faifah is nice just the
way she is. Generous, kind, caring. But there's one thing you can't copy: the whole person
you are. That's why you don't fall in love with everyone despite their shared qualities.

"Can I ask you one more thing?" Faifah breaks another silence with her low voice.
I look up, hold his gaze for a moment, and return the question.

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Why so many questions today?

"I'm curious."

"Ask anything you want. I'll answer if I can." I'll skip the tough questions, like in Monopoly.

Do you see anything good in me?

Puzzled, I put down my cutlery and stare at him.

"Of course. There's a lot."

"Give me some examples"

"You're charming and kind. You treat everyone equally. You take good care of me and everyone else."

That's how he is. That's how he's always been.

And more than once I was wrong. Even on the days he tried to change, to me he remained the same from day
one until now. I wanted to ask him why, but I never dared.

"You make everyone want to be around you because they feel happy around you."

Tor made me feel that way.

He was my puppy love in high school.

And Faifah is my cherished memory from college.

But I have a question:

Can you fall in love with two people at the same time?

"Thanks to you, I've done new things and realized there's much more to life than this."

Or, actually, over a period of time...

Does the world allow you to fall in love with just one person?

"These are the reasons why I want to be with you, seek your advice, and be as cool and nice
as you."

"..."

"I'm not sure if I want to be with you or if I like you."

Not a single slip. I thought carefully before saying it.

We are both silent, not moving, letting time pass without regrets.
I focus on him, and he focuses on me. As soon as something makes contact, the man in front of
me breaks the silence.

"Wine, if you like it..."

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"..."

"Why don't we go out together?"

For now...

The world tells me I can't love two people at the same time.

And I have to choose just one....

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CHAPTER 09: WHAT DO THE

LOVERS?
A question appears in the small notebook.

'What do lovers do?'

According to the schedule, Faifah and I have numerous missions to complete to get used to being a couple.
Even if it's just a simulation game, I have to get used to it.

Last week we decided to do something ridiculous. J even asked me to repeat it in disbelief.

Faifah said I had a sixty percent chance of winning Tor's heart.

I have no idea how he arrived at that figure, but, in conclusion, I am hopeful.

Faifah came up with this overconfident plan to skip the talking phase and start dating
someone. At least I won't make a fool of myself when I start dating Tor. It's a known fact
that I don't have much experience, so it's not a bad idea to let Faifah guide me in trying
new things.

"You're curiously dressed." Jenjob buttons his shirt on the edge of the bed. The scent
of his perfume is so pungent that I feel the need to cut off my nose. This guy is making
fun of me when he can't even control his love life.

"Well, I'm going on a date."

"A mock date. Why so serious?"

Way to shatter my daydream. Let me pretend I'm in a real relationship.

"If I ever go out with Tor, I'll know what to do. Besides, Faifah hasn't been overly
friendly with everyone. I asked him for help just to distract him, not to force him or
anything."

"I know. Why are you chattering?"

I raise my fist. This asshole is being cruel to his friend.

"And you? You're all dressed up too. Where are you going? Your lemongrass scent
is overwhelming," I replied.

"It's none of your business"

"Son of a bitch." I'm dying to raise my foot instead of my fist. He's pissing me off. "Never
mind, then."

"I'm watching a movie with an accounting student," he reveals when I no longer care,
always doing opposite things.

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The funny thing is that on November 15th, he became interested in an older girl and asked
for her phone number. He called her the next day, and her boyfriend answered. The bro
zone never existed because he was never considered a brother, but rather a cheater.

He soon left that girl behind and is now going to see a movie with another girl.

"Who?"

"I showed you the photo the other day." There were hundreds of them. I can't remember them all,
but he's the one I'm worried about.

"Are you serious?"

"I mean it."

"I mean her part, not yours. If she breaks your heart, you'll be sad and join another
mukbang with Ben to forget her."

"As if you were any different, you stupid bastard."

I'd like to leave it right there. Every word that comes out of his mouth tears me to the bone.
Looking back on my high school years, I wonder why I ever became friends with him.
Sigh, whatever. Life goes on. I'll argue with him later.

"You'll pay for it, asshole."

"I don't have any cash."

I put on my shoes, check my clothes, and say goodbye to my cheeky roommate.

"I'm leaving. Good luck."

"Good luck to you too"

Faifah said he'd pick me up from the dorm at six in the evening, but, excited about our date,
I left early. I'm sitting on a bench outside, thinking about playing a mobile game to kill time.
However, a familiar voice stops me.

"Great little Wine~"

I turn toward the voice and see a tall figure standing a short distance away with a smile on his handsome
face. His real hair color is slowly growing out of the smoky gray strands, appealing in a way. He's wearing a
long-sleeved black shirt, tight pants, and shiny pumps. The sight almost makes me melt and evaporate into
thin air.

I walk towards him without waiting for him to get closer, I stop in front of him and ask him.

"Why are you here so early? Wasn't it supposed to be at six?" I quickly glance at my
watch, which says five-thirty. If I had left at six, I would have had to wait half an hour.

"I knew you'd be leaving early. I didn't want you to wait too long."

Classic Faifah. I wish there were a million people like him in the world.

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"You look amazing today."

"You too." Shit, my heart is melting. My chest is empty of my heart because those beautiful words
did it.

Calm down! Let me pull myself together quickly. Why am I letting myself get carried away?

I finally came to after twisting my body like a pretzel.

"S...Are we leaving?"

"Sure, let's go." The tall man turns around and goes ahead, but there's a small mistake. Faifah is
going in the opposite direction from his car. Confused, I quickly protest.

"Aren't you going the wrong way? Your car is over there," I point to the other side.
Faifah looks from side to side, scratching her head in bewilderment.

"Oh, right. Haha, you're right. Phew, what's wrong with me?"

Faifah pulls toward her black car. I get in and find another surprise: a small bouquet of white daisies
being offered to me. I gasp as the man behind the wheel smiles and speaks in a low, gentle voice.

"Flowers for you."

"Wow, did you get that far?"

"Of course I'm going to give it my all." I'm very lucky to have a date with you, but I'm also unlucky
because it's not real.

"Tor might not be so warm and considerate."

"Good. That way, my incomparable consideration will make you cry."

After the grand gesture, we accelerated towards our destination.

Faifah took me to a rooftop restaurant. It's not a particularly luxurious restaurant, but a normal, loft-
style restaurant with excellent food and drinks and a pleasant atmosphere. As soon as I step inside,
the breeze caresses my skin.

"Good weather."

We sit at an empty table and enjoy the view of the towering buildings stretching to the horizon. I look
back at Faifah, and he's pouting like he's about to cry, dramatic as ever.

"I'm glad you like it."

"Let's place the order," I put aside my emotional mood, for fear of having to pat him on the back to
comfort him.

"Yes, let's do it."

The tall guy and I flipped through the menu pages for a few minutes. The food and drinks weren't
expensive or disturbingly luxurious, so we chose several dishes with

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ease. Even if it's a date, we'll split the bill, agreeing not to take advantage of each other.

After ordering, Faifah gives me dating advice while I wait for the food.
For example, never using the phone during conversations or meals because the other
person would feel neglected. Or never talking nonstop because, in addition to being a good
speaker, I must be a good listener.

For the record, Faifah and I never talked or listened for very long.
We usually cursed each other silently. How infuriating!

Then, she makes several more, one by one. Shortly after, our food is served. We take our
time eating and chatting quietly.

"What impresses you?" Faifah asks in anticipation, her eyes dazzling and playful.

"Everything. The music is good." I'm not lying. There's nothing terrible about having
dinner here with him. Everything is perfect, as if we'd planned it in advance, even if we just
improvised. "You've done this many times, haven't you?"

"Come on, I haven't had a date in a while."

"When was the last time?" Let's take a temporary break from our dating mode and get
back to being Wine and Cheeky Faifah.

"In high school. Does that count?"

"That was a long time ago, you're old now."

"Brat" The tall guy pushes my head so hard that it falls back.
If there hadn't been any other customers, I would have thrown a piece of chicken in his face.

"Language. We're on a date."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, honey."

"Wow," his mood quickly changes. "Knowing you, I can tell your future lover must be
very lucky. The only problem is that you love too many people."

"I am a changed man now."

I purse my lips. Being a different man, he no longer loves everyone on campus, but
everyone in the engineering department, which is a large number.

I've witnessed many changes in Faifah over the past few months. Slowly, but surely. Faifah
doesn't push herself to the point of becoming anxious; she continues to greet all passersby,
participate in activities, and help her friends and classmates.

Still, he's stopped offering rides to everyone or letting others order his food first only to be disappointed when
it runs out. More importantly, he no longer treats people with excessive consideration that gives the wrong
impression, and that's the most considerate way to avoid harming them.

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It's me who must remind myself not to get the wrong idea. I've built a wall around myself
called 'ordinariness,' which is the same ordinariness that others have, and he'll never think
of me as anything other than that.

I sigh. I always get lost in my thoughts when I see his face. I look up at the sky and feel
the coldness of the raindrops.

It's starting to rain...

This is an unexpected turn of events.

Luckily, it's only raining a little. No problem. Besides... ever since the day I rode on the
back of Faifah's motorcycle to her apartment in her raincoat, I've grown fond of the rain.

"Wine, are you okay?"

"It's raining lightly. Nice and cool. Do you want to change tables?"

"No." Sharing the same thought, we remain seated. The drizzle doesn't affect us, it
doesn't even wet our clothes. Meanwhile, the other customers slowly file into the interior
area.

"Sir, it's raining. You can come inside if you wish," the waiter informs me politely. I'm
about to speak, but Faifah is quicker.

"It's okay. My boyfriend and I love the rain."

Did he just say that? Seriously?

What's wrong with me? Is your heart racing at those words, Wine? Fuck... half of my wall
is crumbling. Let the other half remain indestructible and protect me from this tingling
sensation.

"Do you want me to clear some of the dishes?"

"Sure."

We finished it all, luckily, devouring it all uncontrollably out of joy.

The waiter slowly carries the plates inside, leaving only our alcoholic drinks to drink.

"Doggy, I mean, Kun, once asked his friends what love is."

Suddenly, an abstract topic emerges. I listen attentively, wondering where he's going with
this.

"Look, he told me and every answer was fucking hilarious, like, love is sacrifice."

"I've heard that many times. Anything else?"

"Love is sex," he says. My face is burning.

"What an answer!"

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"Some people said love was vanilla heaven. And even stranger, some people said love was cookies
on the moon and blueberry cheesecake in the sun ." That's a stretch. They must be incredibly imaginative
to create such beautiful metaphors.

"I like one answer. He said love is attraction. As Newton said, two objects
attract each other."
"..."

"As if you and I were attracted to each other."

"As?"
My heart... is racing again.

"You are hell and I am a sinful spirit."

Damn, how stupid was I to expect something romantic from him.

DING!!

An app notification saves the day as I'm thinking about getting back. Tor sent me a
long message. Instead of reading it right away, I glance at the notification and mutter
something to the tall guy.

"Tor texted me."

"Will you not answer?"

I hesitate. Do I want to read it? Yes, I do. But can it wait? Well, yes. With that thought,
I put my phone back in my pocket and focus on the person in front of me.

"The rules of dating say you should focus on the date. Using my phone will ruin the moment."

"Even if the person texting you is the person you want to date?"
Faifah asks. I have no answer for that.
Not now. Not right now...

"You were talking about other people's definitions of love. What about you?"
"What is love to you?"

I change the subject and return to the unfinished conversation. Faifah, without pressing me,
listens and rolls his eyes thoughtfully.

"I wasn't sure before."

"But now?"
"Now I know."

"..."

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"Love is this fucking pleasure they get when they ignore everyone else to be with you."

BANG!

A bullet pierces the wall that holds my shaken emotions. How tragic that a single bullet pulverizes
everything.

The bullet didn't have that much power, but the wall I built was...

...made of glass.

*****

"Guys, don't forget to go to the activity room at six."

"Ugggggh, what the hell?" The disturbing wail echoes throughout the room as soon as the
head of computer engineering reminds us of the after-class activity.

"Please be present if you want the workshop t-shirts."

"Great. We're about to get our workshop T-shirts after midterm. Damn," I complain to my
friends, mindlessly stuffing my notes and pencil case into my bag. J chimes in on the topic of
workshop T-shirts with a passionate expression.

"I hate photos of myself in sweats, and I can't even delete them. Those assholes tagged
me in hundreds of them."

"You're not alone in this. Me too."

If Jenjob can't save his image, I have no hope. I look worse than I did in the shiny T-shirt and
tight jeans.

"Come on, at least you have some great photos of Faifah. They're getting closer to meeting
each other every day. I'm jealous."

"Because?"

"He's like a celebrity. But if you asked me who my idol is, I'd say a serious man who's
willing to kick ass like me, Yotha."

Whatever.

The twins are complete opposites. Despite their identities, their personalities are from different
universes. One is a quiet, isolated boy, known as Mr. Darkness, while the other seems like
something out of a comedy movie, funny and kind, with a host of friends, known as Mr. Bright.

Who do I like?

My mentor is nice and all, but these days I feel more attached to his twin brother.

"Guys, group up with your eldest."

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My friends and I used to relax at the mall, watch movies, or listen to music after class. On days when things
were slow, we'd go back to the dorm and rot in bed. However, today is even more special because the
freshmen are gathering again to receive their workshop T-shirts.

The engineering department canceled homecoming activities a few years ago, except for charity work like
mopping the floor, cleaning the Gear Space, tidying the student affairs room, and organizing items. Whose
job is this, really?
It's definitely not ours.

But since it was for the common good, we did it without complaint, and finally, our efforts paid off. We
received the pins and gears last time, were excited for two days, and put them back in the boxes. Now we
look forward to the workshop T-shirts even more. The reason is simple: sometimes I'm too lazy to send my
student shirts to the cleaners.

Workshop shirts, on the other hand, can be hung in the wind and shaken a bit before being worn again
without any problem.

"You probably all know why you're here."

"Yesssss."

"Two important things. One, the midterm exam is coming up. The engineering library will be open
24 hours a day starting next Monday."

"Yes." The answer sounds pretty daunting.

"Two, you've been through numerous activities together, so on this important day, you'll receive
your workshop T-shirts."

"Kyaaaaaaaaa! Woohoo! Great!" My goodness, the library generated less enthusiasm among the first-
year students than the workshop T-shirts. Recognizing this, the second-year MC allows us to shout and
cheer as we please.
Several minutes later, the applause has still not died down.

"Everyone calm down," the MC says into the microphone to control the situation, unable to stand it any
longer.

"Well!"

"It's not quiet at all." Another burst of laughter erupts and subsides in an instant, giving the MC a chance
to explain further: "This year there's no formality. Your mentor will hand out the workshop T-shirts
and gifts. Stay where you are."

Immediately afterward, the second-year students around us begin to disperse and search for their classmates
in the ranks. Despite the different locations, the search isn't too challenging due to the division of specialties.

As the sophomores walk through the ranks, the world seems to darken with just one person in the spotlight.

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He's a tall, black-haired boy with a face that's emotionless, but he captures my full attention. Every step he
takes that closes the distance between us stirs a feeling in my heart.

He squats down in front of me and hands me the workshop T-shirt I've been waiting for, and
I accept it without taking my eyes off his lovely face.

"For you, Wine." His soft voice is captivating, making my heart flutter.

"Thank you."

"This is your gift." He hands me a paper bag. Of course, I take it without looking inside
and express my sincere thanks.

"Thank you, Faifah."

"Ooh, do you recognize me?"

After trying to maintain character for minutes, they caught him. His Yotha facade fades only
at my gratitude. I recognized him from the moment he walked over here and crouched down
in front of me.

"Why wouldn't I?"

"I was destroying everything. I even dyed my hair again."

"You're too much"

Faifah's hair has been graying for months, so it's a surprise that she's dyed it again. Have I
gotten used to her old hair color?

"My hair grew longer, and I didn't bother dyeing my roots, so I dyed it black," he
explains sulkily. What a funny picture.

"You look good with any hair color."

"Sweet talker"

"But if you're here, where's my mentor?" I scanned the hallway. Yotha always appeared,
sometimes bringing me Faifah's gifts. I hadn't expected Yotha to be absent today.

"He's busy."

"I see."

"Actually, he isn't. I told him to pretend to be busy so I could take care of you."
This idiot...

"What's up with your fellow apprentice?"

"Pin kicked me out after receiving my gifts, saying I'd upset her. I'm so sad ," she
says, forcing back tears. Before I know it, I'm doing something I shouldn't.

And before I know it, I'm stroking her black hair.

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Faifah doesn't care. She sits there silently, staring at me and blinking. Suddenly, I pull
my hand back as if I'm touching something hot, hoping no one has noticed.

"Second-year students, you may leave after delivering your gifts to your
classmates. I have something to report to the first-year students."
The presenter returns to her work and ends our conversation.

Faifah gets up, leans over to ruffle my hair, and leaves.

I barely hear anything else, drowned out by its warmth. Even after we're dismissed, I have no idea how to
leave the activity room until my best friend's whisper brings me back to reality.

"Your boyfriend is here to pick you up."

"Huh...? What?"

"Your boyfriend," she pouts at the tall boy standing nearby.

"It isn't!"

"Be careful. If you fall in love while playing pretend, I'll throw a parade for you."
"Fuck off."

"What are you talking about?"

"Ooh~" When did it arrive? It was quite far away from us.

Faifah suddenly sticks her face between J and me, startling us both. Ben, who catches
up with us, scratches his head in confusion, as if he's dying to ask what the hell is
going on.

"Where will you guys go after this?" Faifah asks cheerfully.

"Our bedroom, Faifah."

"Let me take you."

"That's great, bro." What's wrong with J, strangely excited?

"B... But my car..." Benjie protests. His tall friend instantly puts his arm around his
neck and says in a cheerful voice, "What the hell are you doing?!"

"We're coming with you. Honestly. Ben's car had a problem and my bike ran out
of gas halfway there. The other guys helped move it back to the apartment."

"Oh, right. What an unlucky day for us, boo. Thanks, Faifah."

Damn liars! No car breaks down and no one runs out of gas!

"How awful. I'll drive them all."

"Thank you so much."

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I feel like there's a mess. I assume the goal is for me to spend time with Faifah, even though it's
not necessary. We don't have a plan together today like the one we had established.

But hey, there's nothing I can do now.

These scoundrels drag me behind our oldest to their car and enthusiastically put our seats in. Since I can't
interrupt them, I let them arrange everything like a doll.

"Wow, what a big concern. Wine, you sit in the passenger seat. Ben and I will take the
back seat."

As if I could argue. Once Faifah gets behind the wheel, the two of them slide into the back seat,
leaving me stupidly alone.

The car speeds out of the engineering parking lot toward the dormitory. On the way, Mr. Bright takes good
care of us, asking if it's too hot and if we're comfortable. His thoughtfulness leads Ben to confess that he feels
ill and that he will never bother Faifah again.

"Don't think about it too much. Do you want to listen to music?"

"Sure."

"Something on your mind?"

"Play whatever you want, Faifah."

The car fills with our voices instead of the soft music from the playlist Faifah used to play when we were out
together. She hasn't changed the playlist; she listens to the same songs without getting tired of them.

"That's the Dept. song." J is more excited than everyone. Ben chimes in, being a
great support.

"It's Wine's favorite band. What a coincidence."

Oh my God. I'm fed up with these hateful scoundrels. I told them there was nothing between
Faifah and me. We have a give-and-take relationship.

But they never listened and proceeded to assume nonsense.

"You don't offer rides to passersby anymore?" Jenjob asks over the music. Faifah looks back
and frowns.

"Who told you?"

"Wine."

That bastard is blaming me. It's not like Faifah's tendency to offer rides to everyone is a secret.
Everyone knows it. I'm not wrong to tell my friend.

"Not anymore, unless someone is really in trouble."

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"I wasn't in trouble. My a..." Benjie stops mid-sentence because J covers his mouth. I
massage my temples, stressed about keeping this secret from these scoundrels.

"Wine told me to prioritize things. I'm going to take them because they're all
important."

"I'm going to cry."

I hear a sincere sob.

"And because we're friends of Wine, right?"

"Something like that."

"How lucky we are to have done good deeds for you," Ben says, still dramatic. "Why
are you so nice to my friend?"

"Because your friend is good to me"

"If Wine were a girl, I bet you'd fall in love with him, haha."

"Ben."

We are doomed

Faifah's voice darkens, exuding a strange aura that makes us fall silent.

"Don't you know? Since I started college, I've had so many friends."

"..."

"But I never think of them in a romantic way."

*****

BANG! BANG! BANG!

My dorm mate is about to destroy my door with his incessant banging.

He woke up very early. The time on my phone says it's barely 7:00. This guy is ruining
my weekend happiness.

I slowly lift my head from the pillow and get out of bed like Sadako in The Ring.
Meanwhile, my roommate on the other side covers his ears to protect himself from the
noise. Now it's all up to me.

I turn the doorknob and face my computer engineer friend carrying a stack of papers.

"Dude, these are the notes for the midterm exam. I copied them." He thrusts a stack
of papers into my arms. I look down and nearly cry, moved by his extraordinary generosity.

Who the hell would summarize lessons and print them for their friends like this?
What an angel, what a blessed soul, what a benevolent saint! Where else could I find a
good friend like you in this life?

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"Dad, you're the best. The best of the best."

"To thank you for helping me scare away the ghost that night."

Uh... haven't you forgotten?

"Damn, it's still very much on my mind. Not the ghost, but the way you hugged
your knees and cried. Fucking pathetic." I didn't say that.
Those words came from the other boy in the room who woke up during our
conversation. He's sitting on the bed with his legs spread, mocking Pae.

"Will it kill you to stop talking about my condition that night, you son of a bitch?"

"How rude"

"I've summarized everything, but the printing isn't free. Pay me twelve baht for each one."

"Okay." I run back to get my wallet and pay the friend at the door for me and J, who's
still talking too hard to stand. "The alcohol's on me after the exam."

"That's a promise"

"Of course." I've already decided. A round of alcohol on me. The soft drinks on them.
They're more expensive than alcohol.

"Oh, Wine."

"That?"

"Thank Faifah on my behalf for her prayers that night."

"Thank him yourself. Why are you asking me?"

"I'm shy. Do it for me. Anyway, you've been hanging out with him a lot lately."

"Sure, I'll tell him."

"I almost forgot. Wait a second." Pae runs off and comes back with a cute yellow
polka-dotted paper bag. "Pass this to Faifah when you see him. As a thank you."

"Okay." I take the bag and close the door. I leave the gift on my desk and carefully
put the papers in a folder.

"J, we're going to study at the Sweet Song Café today."

"Why there?" he asks, scratching his head and butt.

"To deliver Pae's gift to Faifah."

"Liar. You have an ulterior motive." He seems skeptical. How can I convince him
that I simply want to give him the gift without any ulterior motive?

My eyes dart suspiciously in all directions as I think.

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"What ulterior motive? We can study for the exam there too."

"You're acting suspicious."

"Stop finding fault with me."

"Just admit you want to see Faifah. Don't use your friend as an excuse."

"Yes! I want to see him. Happy?"

"That's all."

With midterms just around the corner, finding a place to study has become a matter of utmost importance
for college students.
Everything is packed. Even the cafeteria, which was previously empty due to expensive menus with ugly
cushions, is miraculously full.

"Are you here to study, kids?" I smile at the tall boy who rushes to welcome us.

Faifah wears a white T-shirt and a pink apron as always. Although she doesn't work here,
she feels like she belongs here. She doesn't even get paid; she works out of generosity.

"Yes. The engineering library is full. So is the university library."

"Good. You can study here. It's perfect for study sessions." The café is small, and customers are
practically throwing mats on the floor because all the tables are occupied. How can it be perfect?

"Aren't you studying?"

"I'm taking it easy. I'll study the night before the exam." Faifah takes us to the

staff sofa, where I've sat often, but this time is different. There's a small table with a mat underneath, perfect
for sitting and studying.

"Is there something bothering you? I can help," Faifah asks, to which I respond immediately.

"All"

"Don't exaggerate"

"I'm not a fan of English. There will be some literary reading. Fucking complicated." Given that I only
learned the phrase 'move on' from J, how am I supposed to read a literary work? The first page alone nearly
made me cry. I could even look up 'is, am, are' in a dictionary.

"Let me take a look."

We push the couch against the wall for the cats to rest on, then the humans gather around the square table
on the floor.

I turn around to find this semester's textbooks and hand them to the tall boy.
Faifah flips through a few pages and sighs. The pages are filled with the meanings of almost every word
written by hand. No wonder she's making that face.

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"Wine, you even looked up the name of the city."

Holy crap! Is that the name of a city?

Excuse my stupidity. I wish I were smarter. Let me study abroad for ten years to improve
my skills.

"My math grades got me accepted, haha."

"Use previous years' exercises as a guide. The titles are different, but the questions
generally follow the same pattern."

"I have those"

I quickly show him the exercises.

"What's up with Ben and J? Are they okay?"

"I guess"

"I guess that means no. Come here and listen to me."

The intensive English study session has begun. I barely notice when they serve me the
iced chocolate or what my friends have ordered. It all happens and is over in the blink of
an eye.

Faifah surprises me with her serious tone. Knowing my weakness, she patiently explains the same thing to
me over and over again without a trace of frustration. We all focus on that, appreciating Faifah's effort, and
study until nine, when the tall boy grants us a break.

The Sweet Song Café is open 24 hours a day during exam season for students, so it's
convenient for us to stay here from early evening until midnight. The only drawback is that
they don't sell savory dishes. Most of their products are baked goods and desserts, which
we devoured without fear of diabetes.

"I'm hungry. Fai, is it okay to bring food here?" J asks, standing up and stretching. He must be hungry,
considering his stomach kept growling throughout our study session.

"Of course. They don't sell savory dishes here anyway."

"Who needs some fresh air?"

I'm about to raise my hand, but that bastard immediately interrupts me.

"Wine, you stay here. Ben will go with me. " Why the fuck did you ask? "Tell us what
you want."

"A pork burger and a box of soggy fries."

"Why soggy? Don't you like them crispy?"

"They'll be soaked by the time you two get back."

"You see through everything like the ghost in Pae's room"

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"Fuck you"

The idea of the ghost in Pae's room horrifies me every time, though I'm not sure if it
was real or just his imagination.

"And what do you want, Faifah?" he asks the tall boy after teasing me.

"Same as Wine."

"Soggy fries?"

"Yes, soggy fries. The soggier, the better."

"Do you want us to be gone that long?"

"Yes," Faifah raises an eyebrow and waves them off. Now it's just us.

"Speaking of Pae, I almost forgot he asked me to pass this to you," I say, passing
the paper bag to the intended recipient despite his bewildered face.

"For me?"

"I wanted to thank you for helping him scare away the ghost last time."

"Oh, no need for that," Faifah accepts it politely, opens the bag, and screams with shining eyes.

"Woooooowwwww."

"Headbands?"

Faifah is as excited as if it were the key to a fancy car.

Faifah holds up the headbands. I have no idea where Pae got them, but they don't fit Faifah well at all. Not
to mention he bought her two. The first is a headband with horns and the other is a headband with bunny
ears. How disturbingly adorable.

"Aren't they adorable?" she dares to ask. Well, I'll play along.

"Super cute."

"Your friend is amazing. How did he know I was looking for pretty headbands?"

What do you need them for?

"For a child to ask."

"I'm going to overturn the table." How irritating. It never ceases to piss me off.

"Awesome. Well, after the midterm, they're going to celebrate that the Sweet
Song Café didn't declare bankruptcy after three years on the sixteenth." This is
the first time I've heard of an anniversary celebration for a business that hasn't closed.
In a way, it's understandable. The café had been operating for so long, offering such
expensive drinks, that they only managed to sell a few orders a day.

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Not to mention the inaccurate advertising. The café advertised itself as a cat café, but it only
had four cats who hated humans. They claimed the music was great, but it depended on who
was playing it. If the workers got into a fight with the café owner, they played wrestling songs.
In short, it hasn't been a bed of roses keeping this business going for three years.

"Congratulations, haha."

I'm telling you. Even though it's none of your business, I'm sure you're happy about it.

"Thanks, Wine. Are you coming?"

"I'm not sure. I need to check my schedule."

"It's going to be a great party with a one-for-one campaign. Plus, you'll get a free mug
if you dress up as an animal."

"Will there be anything in the cup for free?"

"No."

"Wow, how exciting!"

As if.

"Your eyes are dead. Come here. Put on the headband."

"Get off my head." My resistance only prompts him to put the bunny ear headband on me,
though my expression belies his cuteness.

"How cute. Cutie Wine is sooo cute."

"Happy?" I ask.

"I'd be glad if you didn't take it off. You look like a bunny." Faifah flicks her ears.

Faifah isn't having enough fun, so she puts on the other one and transforms into a disturbingly
adorable deer. Buffalo horns suit her better, if you ask me.

We play with these toys for a while before my two friends return with lots of food. They stay
for a while and then leave again for no reason, leaving Faifah and me to eat the burgers and
study alone.

The clock strikes eleven, and then it's midnight. Before I know it, it's two in the morning.

Headbands with horns and bunny ears are no longer on our heads, they're there... at our feet.
We're no longer interested in wearing them.

"Sleepy?"

The tall boy asks me in a voice as soft as fabric softener and I nod.
My eyelids felt heavy but I forced myself to lift them for almost half an hour.

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"A little. My friends haven't come back yet." They left at ten. Had they found true love at the
roti restaurant and decided not to go back to school? If I insisted, they'd say it was none of my
business, to screw them. Each to their own devices.

"Send them a text message"

"I did. They said they were going to eat roti. How dare they leave us stranded?"

"You have me." What warm comfort.

Faifah takes an old cushion from the sofa. I watch him stroke it, and he gestures for me to lie
down. "Sleep if you want. I have a cushion here."

"It's okay." Wouldn't it kill me? The tomato pillow looks like it's in tatters. What if the mold suffocated me to
death? Boohoo~

"There's no one here. What are you worried about?"

"You are here."

"Don't think about it too much. Wait a second." Faifah gets up, runs out of the cafe, and
comes back with a jacket and a small blanket. "The pillow is a little stained, but my jacket is
clean."

He wraps his jacket around the tomato-shaped pillow and gives me a reassuring smile.

Why is there only one Faifah in this world? Why are you so good to me? If I were dating someone
else but they weren't as good as you, what would I do?

"Thank you."

"Lie down"

I crane my neck through the gap between the wooden partitions to inspect the coffee.
There are no more customers. Even the night shift worker is asleep in his seat, mouth agape.

"Then I'll take a quick nap," I say, leaning slowly onto the pillow and soon feeling the warmth
of something covering my body. The small blanket.

"It's my blanket, not the coffee one. Don't drool on it."

"I'm not you."

Faifah laughs and continues underlining my notes. Despite my extreme sleepiness, I want to
keep talking to him. I don't even understand my own contradiction.

"I'm not sure if I'll do well on this exam."

"Don't push yourself or expect too much. Just do the best you can." He strokes my head. I feel so
comfortable that I close my eyes. "How do lovers take care of each other?"

"Like we do, I guess."

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I almost forgot we're playing pretend.

"Maybe you need a reward to motivate you. That way, you won't get discouraged." His voice echoes
in my ears. I can feel everything even with my eyes closed.

"You too," I say, my voice getting louder and louder.

"What do you want if you get a good grade?"

"Something delicious. I'll eat until I throw up."

"What if everything is delicious?"

"I'll eat it all."

"I want to spank you."

"As if you were really going to do it"

I like it... when he strokes my head like that. Sometimes, his warm palm slides down to my cheek. I
feel like a cat, getting carried away with this pampering to the point of addiction.

"And what do you want?"

"I won't say it."

"Ah, but I told you mine."

"Would you give it to me?"

"What is it?"

"Not much."

"..."

"Just a kiss."

At that moment, my eyes snap open and I see his face above me.

His serious disposition indicates...

He's not joking.

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CHAPTER 10: I GO WHERE I WANT

THAT YOU GO
"I want to dieeee"

"Even if you died, I'd grab your head and tell you... to take the test."

"Fuck my life."

My friend crushes my heart with the truth while I complain to myself.

We've been studying for several nights on the ground floor of the apartment. The suffering
hasn't stopped. The midterm exam is just around the corner. Pressed for time, we're
restless like trapped mice, reading, summarizing the lessons, reading and summarizing the
lessons over and over again.

We've practiced a hundred exercises a day, on the verge of vomiting square roots, praying
for it to be over soon. But you know what? The worse the suffering, the slower time
becomes, as if on purpose.

"Come on, the midterm is the day after tomorrow. We'll be free soon." Jenjob pats me
on the shoulder, gets up from his chair, stretches a little, and takes out his motorcycle keys.
"I'm going to get something to eat. I'm craving some ice-cold orange juice. Do you
want to go together?"

He asks Ben and me. Since I'm really lazy, of course I'd do anything but study.

"Yeah."

"I'll pass. I'm sleepy. I want to wake up the day the exam is over. I don't want to study
anymore." Ben lifts his head after his thirty-minute nap, drooling.
At least he responded. A second later, he drifts back into his deepest sleep.

"Damn you. Go make a YouTube video or something." J shakes his head in resignation.

"Leave him alone. Just get him something to eat."

"Yeah, guys, what do you want to eat? I already have a motorcycle. Ready to go
vrum-vrum," my tall friend asks a large group of friends studying with us while I fumble
around for my wallet.

"Me, me. I want grilled pork."

"Grilled pork at 1 a.m., you fucking idiot?"

"J, bring me a chocolate bar."

"What brand, Bestbest?"

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"You swear at boys, but you use that disgusting voice with girls, asshole," I snap,
fed up with his double standards. His voice gets even louder when he's talking to older
girls, which makes me roll my eyes all the time.

"Shut up or get off my bike. Walk in the dark, asshole." What a sharp tongue.
Whoever wants to date him should reconsider.

Wait, aren't we all the same?

"Write it down."

He passes a blue note to our friends. The list goes on forever, as if they've been starving for years.

I love this environment. We always help each other. During exam season, we tutor each
other and study together. If someone is hungry and wants to eat, they ask the others if
they want something. We take turns looking after each other until it becomes second
nature.

In addition to our friends' food list, I carry a bag of coins in my hand.

Damn, are they making fun of me? They all just gave me coins. Fucking annoying.

"How is your love life with Faifah?"

J and I head to the parking lot. Of all the topics, why is he talking about Faifah? He barely
asks anything about Tor, even with my usual updates.

"Love life, my ass. Stupid."

"Stop acting like a fool. He's been tutoring you and driving you around every day. Damn, he's like
your tutor. Why would you do that if you're not dating someone, huh?" I'm dying to drown out his
squeaky voice. His words make my head hurt.

As if I were the only one Faifah tutored. J never bothered to tutor his other younger students; he was too
focused on me.

"We're just brothers," I say nonchalantly, quickening my pace to avoid more daring
questions. But the more I try to run, the more that bastard clings to me.

"Isn't Yotha your mentor? He doesn't spend much time with you."

"Fai helps me with trivial matters. Plus, my relationship with Tor is going well."

"Good or bad?"

"Why are you cursing me?" I frowned at him, earning a stupid laugh.

"You don't seem to take it seriously."

"We text each other every day."

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From the first day I texted him to the day we became close again, I think our relationship is
going well. He tells me funny stories every day, and I keep him updated on my life. However,
I've never mentioned Faifah during any of our conversations.

"Does he even know you like him? Have you confessed?" I shake my head.

"No, but I think he knows, judging by his answers. He said we should meet when we
have time."

"Their university is close to ours. Go see it."

"He suggested it and said he would treat me to lunch."

"Go, I support you"

"I have an exam."

"What an excuse! You never have any trouble hanging around Faifah, you run to him at the speed of
light."

What a pain. All he said was the truth.

But it's different. If I have to meet Tor, I have to be prepared and dressed up from head to toe
before I leave. With Faifah, on the other hand, he'd show up before I even asked. Plus, he
accepts me in every state. Even if I came downstairs with sunken eyes from lack of sleep,
my hair disheveled, and a torn T-shirt to go eat porridge, he didn't care.

That's why I feel more comfortable hanging out with Faifah.

I've got it all in my head. Time to get into J's business now that he's done with mine.

"Enough about me. What about you? How are things going with that girl?"

"Me? I want to cry while singing Jarun Manophet's Hey, Sister," she laments.
I guess it's nothing new.

"Are you going to get to the point?"

"Trapped in another bro zone."

"Too bad." I pat him on the shoulder. For the record, J has broken his own record for being
in the most bro zones this year. "One day you'll find someone who loves you, someone
you don't have to work hard to chase."

"You're the one to talk to"

"Son of..."

Our conversation ends when we reach his motorcycle.

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The university at night presents marked differences from daytime. First, it's quite empty and quiet.
Second, it allows us to observe the beauty we had missed, whether it's the streetlights or the row
of trees lining the street.

I lift my head, feel the wind hitting my skin, and inhale. J suddenly speaks.

"Wine, have you ever compared someone to a song?"

"Yes, you."

"What song?"

"Incomprehensibly hurt. You never learn your lessons in love."

"Ugh, not like that."

"I don't know."

"Look, they say loving someone is like a song. It has a melody, a chorus, and content that
suits different preferences. You and I have our favorite types of music."

What's wrong with him? Is this the result of being recently thrown into a bro zone?

"J, you're weird today."

"Leave me alone. My heart still hurts."

I knew it. It takes him a while to realize it...

"..."

"You just need to find that song and fall in love with it."

J keeps chattering away, stunned, even though we've arrived. I have to hold his bike and find a
parking spot so he can keep chattering away.

"You might fall in love with him temporarily before hearing a song you like better."

"..."

"Or maybe this song is the one you love the most no matter how long"

"You are the dream of my... universe. The stars dazzled when we met¹~"

¹ The dream in my universe by Kien Kai and Wanich

I think I found that song.

The moving melody, the powerful chorus, and the sweet meaning that melts listeners.
The problem is the voice that ruins everything!

"Here~ The dream in my universe.~"

Surprise!

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I didn't expect to find the tall, elderly man in the convenience store at this hour, and in an intoxicated state.
Given his expression and the smell of alcohol, he must have had quite a bit to drink.

Faifah staggers and I run forward to support his body, but someone grabs him in front of me.

"Fai, you piece of shit, I told you to wait in the car. What a troublemaker," Puri
complains. Her eyes widen when she sees us. "Oh, Wine, J."

"Hi, Puri, how are you?" My friend has returned to reality and finally regained his senses. Perhaps he's
surprised by the drunk guy who almost collapsed on the floor.

"We drank with the other guys before the exam the day after tomorrow. That's why
he's so drunk," Puri explains, wiping away the sweat, one hand holding a bag of sausages
and the other holding his tall, incredibly heavy friend.

"How pathetic."

"You're so cute. You look familiar."

Faifah points at me and smiles. Why wouldn't I look familiar? We see each other every day.
But since I've never seen him so drunk, I don't know how to act.

"How are you getting home?" I ask worriedly.

"I'm driving. Hey, hey, don't sleep here."

"I will do that."

Shit, that drunk is about to fall to the ground. Faifah! Don't take a dog's place!

"Let us help you. What a pain!"

"Good. Help me get him in the car. This bastard is heavy."

"I want Lactasoyyyyy."

"Shut up. Get it yourself tomorrow."

"Oh shit."

J and I ran inside, grabbed each of his arms, and dragged him to Puri's car, parked a short distance from the
convenience store. The heckler, oblivious to the others' struggle, leaned his full weight on us. Every step was
a real challenge.

Puri opens the car door and we push Faifah into the back seat. He whines for soy milk and
spills out. Annoyed by his whining, Puri slams the door shut.

I hope Puri has enough strength to send the drunk boy back to his apartment safely,
although I feel unsatisfied.

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I watch the tall boy through the window and my heart aches in a strange way.

I'm very worried. Who will take care of him after that?

"Wine, why don't you go with Puri? I'll go get some food for the boys myself," J says,
reading my mind. I don't protest; I'm not about to let Faifah leave like that.

"That would be great. Would you mind if I asked you for help?" the car owner asks just
in time, giving me an excuse to tag along.

"No way. I'll go with you."

I'm not sure it's the right decision to help him now that Faifah starts acting out as soon as we
leave. The worst part is that she rests her head on my lap very demandingly and sings the
same song I assume was playing at the bar.

"The stars shine from above. My heart still trembles. I miss the old days~"

"Fai, please. You have a horrible voice," Puri whimpers, on the verge of tears, picking at
her ears as she drives, but the heckler refuses to stop.

"You are the dream in my universe~."

"You're loud. Wine, shut him up."

"I don't know what to do."

"Do it if you want to survive."

What can I do? Is there another option? No, of course not. I have to do something to calm him down.
I cup his cheeks with the palms of my hands to keep him still and silence him.

"Be quiet."

A stupid method that somehow works. Faifah stops singing.

"You're cute," he says jokingly. Damn you.

Peace falls upon us. As the tall man closes his eyes, I look up and speak to the man behind the wheel.

"This is the first time I've seen him drunk."

"Yes. People constantly challenged him, and he was the type to play along."

"I can imagine. He was probably wandering around somewhere."

"No, he was drinking with us at our table."

It may seem normal, but the change fills my heart like a balloon, probably because we've
worked together to improve. I think it will only get better from now on.

"I don't know what the hell is wrong with him. He wasn't nice to everyone anymore. He was fucking
pleasant".

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"Really?"

"I guess he's in love with someone."

"How do you know?"

"It's obvious. I have no idea who it is, though. Faifah won't reveal it unless she's
sure."

I mark those words in my mind without responding because the sleeping man in my lap
wakes up and sings again.

"The dream in my universe~"

"Shut him up before I go crazy!"

"Your access card"

"Where is?"

"Whether in your pocket or in your wallet."

After struggling to get Faifah out of the car and into the elevator, we arrived at his apartment.
Things got even more complicated because we had to find the tall guy's key card.

I feel around all over his body, from his back pockets to his front ones. It turns out it's in his
shirt pocket. Oh my God.

"I found it."

"You touched me, you touched me."

I didn't touch you. I was looking for the key card. What now? Are you looking at me?

"..."

"Take responsibility for being my boyfriend."

"Did I commit a great sin in my past life?" Puri growls, though he is the main man
dragging Faifah inside.

We throw him onto the bed, and he groans before falling asleep. Puri and I are panting, exhausted as if we'd
just run a ten-kilometer marathon.

"Leave him here. He'll be sober in the morning." The older man looks resignedly at the
sleeping person and says to me, "I'll take you."

Okay, it's time to go. But why am I hesitant to leave?

Maybe it's because I've never seen him drunk. I have no idea who usually takes care of
him or what will happen if he's left alone. Will he trip and hurt himself? My heart is filled with
worry.

"Can I stay here and take care of him? I'll leave later." Otherwise, I wouldn't be able to concentrate on
studying or get to sleep.

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"Don't worry about him."

"You can go first. I can go back on my own."

"I'm worried about you." At my determined look, he exhales a defeated sigh . "Are you
sure?"

I respond with a determined expression.

"Then you don't have to go back to your dorm. Call your friend and stay here. Don't
forget to scold Faifah in the morning and tell her to take you."

"I understand."

Puri's gone. Now it's time to deal with the drunk and distracted guy. Where do I start? I scan
the tall guy and spot the first obvious thing I need to work on.

I carefully remove his sneakers and socks. I take off one of his socks, and he stirs, muttering
something indecipherable.

"Mm, tickly."

"Just a little more. One more sock." I pull out the left sock after the right and throw them both into the
laundry basket. I leave his slippers on the shelf by the door and go back to his bedroom.

"Hot~"

"I'm going to turn on the air conditioning." I search for the air conditioning remote for a
while and adjust the temperature to the standard setting.

The shirt isn't a big deal, since it's a too-big T-shirt, but the jeans seem uncomfortable. I leave
them like that, not daring to take them off.

"Cold."

"You said it was hot earlier."

Now I understand why his friend would rather not be with him when he's drunk. How
troublesome.

"It's cold."

"I'm turning up the heat. Why are you complaining?" I readjust the temperature, cover
him with a blanket, and check everything again.

Her charming face is flushed red, and her breath smells of alcohol. Suddenly, her eyes snap
open and stare at me. She smiles sweetly, like someone in a satisfying dream.

"You're beautiful."

"Are you going to stop saying that?"

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I ask her without waiting for an answer and look for a towel in her closet to wet and clean her body. When I
turn around, Faifah is standing, struggling to take off her jeans.

"Let me help you, damn it."

The way he goes from sleep to wakefulness is driving me crazy. But since I'm here to take care of him, I'll do
the best I can. I let him hold onto me while I help him take off his jeans with my free hand. Once I'm done, I
push his firm chest down onto the mattress.

"Wine" Faifah grabs my wrist so tightly that I can't move.

"Do you know it's me?"

"Will you stay with me?"

"..."

"I'm fucking alone. Fucking alone..."

"It's okay. I'm here."

Faifah is hiding something from me. No, maybe from everyone.

One thing I feel now that I know him is that, besides his joy and positive energy, he hides something inside.
Maybe it's loneliness or hopelessness.

Whatever it is, I think you'll get through it.

And I'll be here when you need me.

My spine nearly dislocated after sleeping for hours on the floor because I didn't dare climb into Faifah's bed
without her permission, even though I slept there until morning the first time I came here. The other reason I
didn't sleep on the couch was that she might wake up in the middle of the night and need help.

Is this a pleasant feeling, the extreme concern I've never felt for anyone except my family? I've never gone to
such lengths for J.

Today I woke up earlier than usual. I'm currently answering my friend's text message on the couch before
Faifah emerges from her room a few minutes later, scratching her stomach. Her hair is disheveled, her face
wrinkled, and her eyes are barely open.

"Are you awake? Sorry for sleeping in your room. I ordered food from Grab because I couldn't get
your permission to use the kitchen." The longest morning greeting I've ever said.

"Let me kiss your head to reward you for your kindness."

The tall boy runs up to me, takes my face in his hands, and gives me a big kiss on the forehead.

"Let me go. Do you remember what you did last night?" Faifah removes her hands from my cheeks and
sits down next to me. Everything happens naturally, and I don't feel anything strange about it.

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"I drank and sang."

"What else?"

"My boyfriend took care of me."

"Who?"

"You, Wine."

"I'm not your boyfriend."

"So, my fake boyfriend. I'm sad," he says, sulking and looking disgusted.

"Go brush your teeth and let's have breakfast together," I say to change the subject.
The food will probably arrive in the meantime, and I'll show him my skill at transferring
food to plates without spilling it on him.

"Did you brush your teeth?"

"I did. I saw you put my toothbrush back in the cup from last time."

"I knew you'd come here again."

"You're just saying that."

Faifah showers fairly quickly, probably just running through the water. She finishes just in
time for her food.

"Wow, that porridge looks really good." Is your tongue swollen or something?

"Take a seat."

Faifah nods, walks over, and sits down, her face radiant and clear of last night's disaster.
She doesn't have a single hangover, either.

"I'm very excited, Wine."

"About what?"

"I'm excited to have breakfast with my boyfriend at my house."

"This again? Someone else would have assumed you had feelings for them.
"Enough. Don't ever do this again," he ordered in a stern voice.

DING!!

I shift my gaze from her beautiful face to the message on my phone. It's from Tor again, but this time it's
different. Something unexpected is happening. It seems my attempt to develop our relationship is bearing
fruit. Still, I'm not going to respond right away.

"This Saturday, after the exam," I want to say first to the man in front of me.

"What's up with this?" Faifah asks, tilting her head. I have no idea what she expects or
what she'll think about it. Will she be happy and supportive, or will she prevent me from
thinking it through first?

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"Tor wants to see me and says he'll treat me to lunch."

"Oh..."

Faifah nods, and that's it. There are no more words. I guess I expected too much.

To calm myself from the distracting thoughts, I decide to accept Tor's invitation.
But when I pick up my phone to answer, the low, familiar voice interrupts me.

"Wine."

"Yeah?"

"Did you agree to see him after the exam on Saturday?"

"Not yet. I'm about to..."

"But..."

"..."

"Do you want to go somewhere with me? Together?"

Those around me know I'm always indecisive when faced with a choice, but this time it's a piece of
cake. To my surprise, I have no doubts at all.

Is that what I told him last night? Something he never knows, but I keep reminding myself: I'll be
here when you need me.
*****

"The exam is over!"

I pull out the strangest dance move specifically for this occasion.

The exam officially ended yesterday. Whether we did well or not doesn't matter now.
I'm going to leave everything behind and enjoy the pleasure that awaits me after this.

"We have to celebrate. We have to do it."

"Fortunately, a certain boy isn't going to celebrate with us."

"Damn~ Are you talking about me?"

"Yes. You were very cheerful, packing last night, completely forgetting about friendship.
"You love your superior more than your friends!" J intervenes in Ben's attack on me.

Are they going to make me feel guilty for the rest of my life? They've been mocking me since last
night. I folded my clothes in my backpack and they whined. I checked boxes off my list and they
complained. I might as well gather them together, not knowing what to do. However, Faifah insisted
this trip was just for the two of us.

We could take a hundred trips together except for this one. These guys are way too dramatic.

"Just one day. I'll be back tomorrow."

"I'm going to cry. One day. A whole day!"

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Normally they don't mind me in the slightest, but now they're getting clingy.
What the hell is wrong with you guys?

"I'll bring you gifts."

"We don't want gifts."

"What do you want? My foot?"

"Boo~ I hope your love is full of joy and infinite compatibility²~"

² Congratulations from Klear

"Stupid." I hate his sad serenade. "I'm leaving."

"Have a good trip."

Jenjob and Benjie, who have embraced each other, greet me from the middle of the room. Still
restless, I remind them again.

"Don't drink too much, or I'll tell your parents."

"Do it. What's worse, getting scolded for being drunk or spending a night out with your boyfriend?"

"He's not my boyfriend."

"You're shy, aren't you? Awww."

Enough of this. I kick open the door and stride out.

It never fails to excite me to spend time with Faifah, whether near or far.

I used to be nervous that he'd do something out of this world. Now that I've gotten used to it, I
don't mind, no matter how crazy the day gets.

Lately, the excitement comes from the new and fun activities we will do together.
I used to be a homebody who rarely went out into the world, but after meeting Faifah, I got to see
and experience a variety of things.

"Forward."

I leave the bedroom with my backpack and meet the man I've been waiting for. He opens the car
door immediately after I appear.

What good deed did I do in my past life to deserve such good treatment? I'm going to cry.

"Have you been waiting long?" I ask, hoping not. I packed last night so I could rush out the
door in the morning.

"No."

"I brought you bread and water, in case you get hungry."

"Kya, how kind of you. Next time bring me a dried fish pizza."

Oh... do they sell that?

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"I'll take good care of you if you stop being annoying."

"Ugggh." I hate how she pouts, I feel like making a meme about it to use with my friends on
stressful days.

When I get in the car, the tall guy runs to get in the driver's seat. Before starting the engine, he
grabs something from the back seat and hands it to me.

"I have something for you."

"What is it?" I accepted the unmarked white paper bag. Faifah taped it shut so I couldn't look
inside.

"I won't tell you. Wait until we get to the festival."

"Okay, if you insist."

"Ready"

"I've been ready since last night."

Faifah smiles and steers, leading us onto the road. Our destination is Nan, another province, so
it will take us about half a day to get there, hence our early departure.

There's a small music festival on the mountain. I heard it won't be very crowded, but it'll be an
amazing atmosphere. Most importantly, most of the artists' fans will be camping there. Faifah
set up a tent in the trunk, complete with a cooler, canvas chairs, and other equipment to enhance
our concert experience.

In the car, my favorite band's playlist plays. Sometimes relaxing, sometimes uplifting. The mood
changes with each song, slowly, like the main road we're driving on.

My attention wanders to the sides of the road before shifting to Faifah's beautiful profile beside me.

"You can change the song if you don't like it."

"No. You know I like this band."

Every word out of her mouth is filled with concern. 'Is the draft too strong?', 'Do you want to change the
song?', or the incessantly repetitive 'Are you hungry?'

"You can take a nap if you want."

See? Another gesture of affection that will be rejected.

"No, I want to talk to you."

"You want to be with me all the time, huh?"

"No, I'm afraid you'll fall asleep and lead us astray from the path to death.
I wouldn't risk it."

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"Brat, I'd kick you out if I didn't love you."

How strong must walls be to protect themselves from your sweet words? However
indestructible they may be, they can weaken and crumble, just like mine.

It's not that I don't trust him, but I refuse to take a nap. I'm afraid he'll get lonely. Maybe
he wants someone to keep him company on this long journey. We can talk about whatever
we want, and the view is breathtaking. It would be embarrassing to sleep.

Since the day Faifah invited me, I still don't know how she decided to make this trip. Did she already
plan to go, or did she only recently become interested in the music festival?

"Let me ask you something: Why did you decide to go to this music festival?"

Faifah glances at me briefly and returns her attention to the road.

"Nop's fiancée, Faye, recommended it to us. She follows a lot of indie bands, so
she knew about this festival and luckily got us tickets." That explains it all, but I have
another question.

"Isn't there any indie band playing a concert in Bangkok?"

"There is."

"Why don't we go there?"

"Faye said the festival is more romantic in Nan."

"..."

"Perfect for lovers"

Shit, the sudden attack knocked me out.

I once imagined what it would be like to date Faifah. Would it be a headache or a marvel?
My thoughts always ended abruptly because of the impossibility. I have Tor and Faifah
will find someone someday. Being close siblings will last longer for
us.

The journey lasted hours. We left at eight in the morning and arrived at four in the afternoon.
It's scorching hot. Faifah comforts me by telling me that the night will be noticeably cooler.

We carry our luggage to the large field surrounded by towering trees where the music
festival is being held. A band is playing in the center. Although it's pretty empty, I bet more
people will show up tonight.

"Here?" Faifah points to an empty spot. I think it's perfect; it doesn't block anyone, and
we can see the proceedings clearly.

"Well."

It's time to set up the tent. Since I have no experience, I grab the tools and read the
instructions on my phone. Since it's very complicated, I turn around to ask the tall guy
who just came back from buying beer. He's drinking from a can and hands me another one.

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"Are you going to get drunk so early?"

"I don't get drunk. I do it for the fun of it. Beer tastes better in nice weather like this."

As if that were true! How can it be nice weather if our armpits sweat? They said the weather in Nan
has been nice lately, so I brought a coat. But it's actually as hot as Bangkok.

They lied to us.

"If you say so, is it okay if I drink?"

"Of course. If you're drunk..." Faifah pauses. I complete the rest of the sentence, certain it's
correct.

"You'll take care of me if I drink, right?"

"No, I'll let you sleep with a dog." Fuck you.

"Should I go?"

"The kid is mean," Faifah laughs contentedly and looks down. "What are you doing?"

"I'm setting up the tent for you. So... how do I put it together?" I hand the pieces to the tall man. He takes
them and pushes me toward one of our canvas chairs.

"Sit down. I'll take care of it."

"No way." I shouldn't let him work alone. My protest elicits a grimace of disgust.

"Stubborn"

"I can't let you work on this alone."

"Stubborn."

"You are stubborn."

"What are you going to do?"

"I'll help you."

"Sigh."

Faifah sighs deeply. In the end, we set up the tent while drinking beer together amid the music on
stage.

He doesn't know it and I'll probably never reveal it...

I don't want him to do things for me, I want us to do everything together.

The joy of doing something with it is incomparable, as if my body never feels exhausted. I walk,
run, laugh, and have fun with it. I guess this is what I meant.

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when he said he wanted to show me things I'd never seen or done. Something else has been
unlocked today.

"Wine, you can open my present now."

"Your gift?" I remember the paper bag Faifah gave me before we took off, still completely sealed. With that
reminder, I drag myself toward the tent to find piles of our things.

I open the paper bag. My heart races at the sight of my favorite band's T-shirt.
Faifah must have noticed my old shirt was loose. I looked pathetic wearing it to Yotha's first
meal.

"Damn, it's the same one I have."

But today... right now... I have another one from Faifah's kind heart.

"Yeah. You used the old one so often that it wore out. I felt bad."

"Thanks. And yours?"

"I have one of my favorite bands," he says, unfolding the shirt in his hand. I smile brightly
and shift my gaze back and forth between the two white shirts.

"Shall we put them on?"

"Sure. We're dressing the same."

The sky changes color as time passes. Faifah and I have a beer and listen to music together.
The night is long, and there are many more artists to perform.

The sun sets over the horizon. I look up at the towering trees and realize for the first time how
stunning the evening sky is. When I shift my gaze to the man standing next to me in the red
and orange light, everything seems even more beautiful.

"Why are you looking at me, Wine?" I look away when he notices.

"It's nothing. S...We're out of beer."

"I'm going to get more. Tonight's going to be great."

"Don't you care about me anymore? I don't usually drink much."

"This time you can, but only with me."

"How demanding!"

"Will you accept my offer? If not, don't drink."

"I can't miss it right now."

Faifah gets up and carries the cooler full of ice to the beer stand, packed with customers.
The queue is longer than at the other stalls.

My eyes follow the tall man everywhere. It takes him a while to return to our tent and proudly
present us with the cans of alcohol in the refrigerator.

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Wow, is this for drinking or showering? This is enough for a group outing when there are really only two of us.

"Can we finish all this?"

"Rather, will it be enough?"

What the hell, you scary bastard?! I could guess his answer, but it still gave me goosebumps.
From the looks of it, we'll knock ourselves out and wake up two days later.

"The music has started. This is going to be wonderful."

The older boy pulls me out of my distracting thoughts and I focus on the performance.

The sun disappears over the horizon, replacing the heat with a pleasant coolness. Faifah and I
sit on the canvas chairs with a beer each, enjoying the atmosphere and the music in the breeze.
My mind is strangely calm and relaxed.

Coming with him is the right decision. No, choosing him is never the wrong decision.

"Faifah?"

A girl's voice interrupts us as we enjoy the performance. I look up and see the delicate figure standing a few
inches away. She doesn't look familiar to me, but neither does the person she called. Faifah smiles and stands
up to greet her in an instant.

"Oh, I didn't think I'd see you here."

"Yes, what a coincidence. Who are you here with?"

"My junior," Faifah points out.

"I'm here with a huge group of friends. Why don't you come say hi?"

"Sure."

I have been afraid.

I was afraid... that he wouldn't say no.

"I'll be right back, Wine. Just wait a minute."

And my fear becomes real. He can never say no.

"Yeah."

Your 'just a moment' never exists. I wonder when this whole thing started to sadden me.

Am I selfish in expecting him to stay with me at all times, be nice to me, and prioritize me even
though I'm just his junior in the same department?

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I watch them walk away from me. Unfortunately, it's a small music festival, with a capacity
of just a few hundred people. I see Faifah's expression, delighted to greet his friends who
are there.

The more I watch, the more disheartened I feel. I open a new can of beer and drink half
of it in one gulp, trying to focus on the artist singing on stage and lose myself in it.

Someone suddenly touches my left shoulder.

That's Faifah, no doubt about it. I didn't think she'd come back so quickly. She left and
came back in about five minutes.

"Why you?" I ask incredulously.

"Oh, why not?" Faifah replies cheekily, holding out a bag of meatballs.

"For me?"

"You're crying. Here, here. Eat the meatballs. I bought a lot."

"I'm not crying."

Faifah ruffles my hair. I got excited for nothing. Who would have imagined that at that moment she wouldn't
disappear forever like before? She even came back with delicious snacks.

How can I be angry with him? How can I? No way.

"Why so fast?" I wonder. Incredible.

"I said, just a moment"

The tall man sits back down in his canvas chair.

"You were always gone all night and reappeared when we had to leave."

"Someone's upset." He pinches my cheek before patting me on the head with his large
hand, as if he's playing with a small animal. "I'm trying to change. I'm not interrupting
everyone. Instead, I'm treating everyone moderately well and prioritizing things.
You're the most important thing right now, so I must stay with you."

"I'm going to cry."

"Oh, wasn't that you?"

"Shit."

"I'm not going anywhere anymore."

"Are you not going to pee at all?"

"Brat."

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We laughed a little at our ridiculous arguments.

Then we turn our attention to the music playing in the midst of nature. Everything is slow and
unhurried. I absorb those feelings into my heart little by little.

The sky darkens and fills with stars. We wouldn't have seen it in Bangkok, but it's possible
here...

The dazzling stars, the beautiful music, and him.

The one who made this night special.

Numerous songs are performed in memorable ways. Every time a new song begins, Faifah
asks me the same question.

"Can you sing this song?"

If I can, we'll sing together. If I can't, we'll watch the performers in silence while sipping a
beer. Since I don't know who the current performer is, I shake my head.

"Oh, but I can, hehe." I hate you, for being enlightened.

"You're annoying"

"Look at the mouth of someone who knows this song. Ah... ah... aow, oh, yeah~"

He even sings the melody. Amazing.

Faifah looks different when she sings. Her eyes shine without a care in the world as she
focuses on the small world in front of her.

The same thing happens to me. My world right now only has...

"This song... I can sing this song. I can."

As soon as I hear the familiar melody, my body reacts instinctively. I touch his arm and
proudly tell him.

"Me too."

"Together?"

"For a long time... my dream drifted away~

Towards the universe with an eternity to recover~

The stars... shine from far above~

My heart still trembles, missing the old days~"

My ears are tuned to the performance. My eyes are on the tall boy next to me. My mouth hums to the soft
melody.

I really like it when I'm with him.

He colors my dull world, showing me his smile and laughter every day and comforting me on
depressing days.

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It's him...

He changed me.

"You are the dream in my... universe~

The stars dazzled when we met~"

Jenjob's words repeat themselves in my mind. He said, 'Loving someone is like a song.
It contains a melody, a chorus, and content that adapts to different preferences.
You and I have our favorite types of music.

'You just need to find that song and fall in love with it.'

'You might fall in love with it temporarily before hearing a song you like better. Or maybe this
song will be the one you like the most no matter how long you listen to it.'

When I first heard that, I wondered if it was possible to love a song to that extent.

"You are the dream in my... universe~

The stars dazzled when we met...so beautiful~."

Although I don't have an answer for now, one thing is clear: a song you listen to with someone
can make you fall in love.

"It would be nice if that guy was here with you instead of me."

Faifah turns to me with a smile.

"No, it must be you."

A happy, kind, sometimes funny, sometimes cute boy, like no other.

"Glad to hear it."

"Thank you, Faifah."

For this precious memory.

While I'm not sure if the song I fell in love with is a temporary or permanent feeling, I can't deny
that today...

I fell in love with this song.

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CHAPTER 11: LOVE DOES NOT DEPEND

LUCKY
An artist and a group of people are singing campfire songs, which will likely continue until morning. Some
people decided to sleep, including Faifah and me.
Exhausted from the journey of hundreds of kilometers, we have wrapped ourselves up.

"Get off me," I grumble. The tall boy slides under the same blanket and presses against me, leaving no
space between us.

During the day it was hot and stifling, but now the temperature keeps dropping to the point where we try to
hog the blanket for ourselves.

"Is it wrong for me to cling to you when it's cold? How cruel," he mutters sulkily, snuggling up against
me. I pull the blanket over the tall boy.

"Then take it."

"What my heart wants is not enough."

"You become poetic every time you're drunk."

"Who's drunk? This is nothing."

Nothing, my ass. You devoured a dozen cans of beer.

Fortunately, by 1 a.m., people had gradually cleared out, and there were only a few people left. The line to
use the restroom wasn't long, and the bathroom was clean. What a relief!

"Faifah, will the artists be mad because we go to sleep first?" Let's talk about something other than beer,
or the frequent mentions of it will prompt him to buy more.

He's not your average drunk. I had a hard time dealing with him last time.

"They won't get angry, because they understand that humans get sleepy. Besides, they take turns
acting. Some are already asleep. No problem." His words reassured me.

"Well."

"Good job, Wine Warat Wisawa," he says all my names. "I forgot Aunarun."

Even my last name. I'm dying to kick him out of the store.

"I can hear the music from here. It's very good. Like a lullaby,"
I say in a muffled voice, burying my face in the pillow.

"Romantic, isn't it?"

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In the cold mountain air, we're under the same blanket, listening to the music carried by the wind. If
this were a romantic movie, it would be the climax where love blossoms between the male and
female leads. However, it's just Faifah and me. Is it romantic? Well, a little. There's much more to it
than that.

Thinking about Faifah constantly pressing her face against my neck. What the hell is wrong with you,
really? Pull yourself together.

"Is my neck so hot? Move your head away from me."

"You are." My attempt to peel myself away from him is futile. I sigh at his stubbornness, letting him
cling to me until I can feel his warm breath.

We are silent for a long time.

No one closes their eyes. My mind is occupied by a lot of thoughts.

"Do you have a dream, Faifah?"

"Yes, every night." That's not what I mean.

"It's not like that. It's like when an artist said that just hearing about music made him so happy
he wanted to create it for the rest of his life." The man with the sharp gaze remains silent, and I
don't press him for an answer. A while later, he speaks softly amid the soft music outside.

"Yes, I do. It's not exactly a dream. What do you call it? A wish?"

"How complicated."

"Yeah."

"What is your wish?"

"Since I was a child, I always hoped to be loved by others and couldn't accept being hated.
Therefore, I treated everyone well in order to be loved."

I listen without interrupting.

And he opens his heart to me.

"You may have thought it was exhausting, but it wasn't. I did what my heart wanted, even though I
also had a hidden desire to be treated as well as I treated them."

"..."

"I forgot that my excessive kindness might hurt some people because they might repay us
with romantic feelings I had never desired."

That's the biggest problem with being kind without thinking.

I can't say Faifah was to blame. I understand how one becomes that way. Her childhood, her family,
and other aspects shaped the person she became, with good and bad traits like everyone else in this
world.

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"But now you realize."

I hope you're not blaming yourself after doing everything you can to improve.

"Yes. Once I met you, I started wondering why I'd come so far.
"Why was I afraid of being hated? Why was I nice to others just so they'd be nice to
me, only to feel unhappy receiving in return romantic feelings I didn't want?"

"..."

"My wish is to accept that I don't need to be loved by everyone as long as I have one
important person who loves me and whom I love in my life."

This is the first time I've known her innermost thoughts. All this time, Faifah had hidden this
feeling behind her smile and her silliness, even though, deep down, she was thinking too
much and fearing something like everyone else.

I drown in his words, thinking them over and over again, until he brings me back to reality.

"And you, Wine? What's your dream?"

My dream remains unclear. I only have this small hope.

"I always jokingly tell my friends that my dream is to live off my parents for the rest of
my life because of my frivolity."

But it's getting clearer and clearer.

"But now that I know you, I aspire to be a better person."

“For whom?” Faifah asks.

"My family and friends."

"And what about you?"

"For me too. And most importantly..." I fix my gaze on her lovely face as we breathe
together. "For you."

"Don't do it for me."

"Don't you want it?"

"I told you you're already good enough for me"

Since I was born and met several people, although they weren't many, I've never met anyone like you.

You are always so kind

And I am very lucky to be one of the people who received your kindness.
*****

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BANG!

Once I close the door, the first thing I see is my roommate sitting at the small table in
the center of the room with a bunch of snacks on it, presumably from all the older girls
he likes, as usual.

I stop smiling, put on a serious face, walk over to my bed, drop my backpack on the
mattress, and complain to my best friend.

"I'm really tired."

"You must be tired to have such a big smile on your face," J replies. My expression
darkens even further.

"Who's smiling? It's not me. You're wrong."

"How was the music festival?"

"It was ok."

"Was the music good?" This guy is persistent.

"Very good. But you know Faifah is out of control, right? If she invites me again,
I'll have to think carefully." I look at his face, testing him. Sensing his disbelief, I
reiterate more firmly. "I mean it."

"It's suspicious because you're forcing it." Fuck you!

"I don't. Why is that suspicious? Stupid."

"Just admit that you had fun and enjoyed it. Why are you trying to hide it from
your friend?"

"I'm not hiding anything. It's the truth."

"Really, huh? You said I was out of control, but you were smiling so brightly."

I frowned, worried about J's expression. Faifah and I went to the music festival alone
and didn't post any photos on social media. How did J know?

"How did you know?"

"The photo of you and Faifah was posted on the music festival's page hours ago.
"You have no idea?"

"Hey...?!!"

"Everyone was as happy as lovers. How could they not have a good time?"

"Nonsense. Maybe the artist asked us to smile."

"Who would be foolish enough to believe that? Pick up your mangled face and
talk to me later."

"Ugh."

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Enough of him. I turn around to unpack, take out my used clothes and necessary items, then
change and climb into bed to play on my phone.

I go to the music festival's page and scroll down to see the photo J mentioned earlier. Apparently, the photo
of Faifah and me is one of hundreds in the album.

We sat on the canvas chairs with beer in our hands and smiles on our faces. I had no idea I
could smile so happily.

Plus, the tall boy's smile in the photo is so beautiful I'd love to stare at it for a long time. There's
no reason not to save that photo, one of our memories.

The memory of me, of him, of the music, of the icy air, and of the sincerity.
*****

"Hey, guys. It's been a long time since I studied hard for the exam. To celebrate the end
of the exam and to apologize, I invited some special guests to eat with me. Say hello to
the viewers, brothers."

"Hello"

J and I are regular guests on Benjie's mukbang channel.

"What are we going to eat today?" Benjie asks excitedly, just as it was written in the script.

"To redeem ourselves from last time, we'll have Korean Ramyeon today."

"Fine. Today we'll be serving our own portions. But since Wine can't stand spicy food,
he only added half the seasoning." The color is still terrifying even though he only added
half the seasoning. I should prepare to die.

At this rate, it would be a shame to back down, although I am one of those who give up easily.
Let's do it! My friends have already started, so I should too. With that thought, I eat the noodles.

Ten minutes later, tears are rolling down my face and my lips are swollen like tires.

I repeatedly ask myself, 'What the hell am I doing here?'

It burns more the more I drink. I drink the third bottle of water, which does nothing to improve
the spiciness. Meanwhile, Ben enjoys his portion as if nothing is happening.
As for J, ah... his eyes open again.

As expected from my long-time friend, no matter how handsome he is, he's turning into a
mess just like me.

I hope this mukbang ends soon until it becomes reality. Ben finishes with a smile while J and
I writhe like crazy, on the verge of vomiting.

This is fucking painful. I'll never do this again.

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After an eternity in the bathroom, I gulp down more water and return to the bathroom in this agonizing
circle.

(Rrr-- Rrr--)

When my phone rings loudly, I get out of bed. I know the person calling and don't want to keep them
waiting too long, so I answer immediately.

Even before I speak, Faifah gets excited and hangs up immediately. Unable to process it, I gather my
thoughts for a while.

Faifah told me to come down because she was waiting for me in front of the bedroom. I wondered why
she was there, so I put on my sandals and ran to find the answer.

The first thing I see is a tall guy leaning on his motorcycle wearing an unusual outfit.
Why is she wearing a green jacket with the words 'Lady Pranom Kitchen' printed on the back?

"Faifah."

He smiles and passes me something.

"Drinks and snacks to relieve the heat." Oh my God, how thoughtful. "And some pills. Take them if
your stomach burns."

"You take care of me like a boyfriend."

I can't believe this is happening to me, that someone takes such good care of me.

"I don't care about that. I can be whatever you want." That's what flirting is where I come from. He
probably said it offhandedly again, though he shouldn't have.

What's wrong with me, anyway? My heart is beating so fast.

"I...I don't feel anything. You're messing with the wrong person," I stammer. Faifah, who knows how
I really feel, smiles and chirps.

"You're a very strong guy."

"Did you know about my critical situation due to Ben's live show?"

"Yes, I saw it from the beginning and I felt bad for you. I was crying the whole time."
Liar. Stop pretending to wipe away fake tears. It seems insincere. Let's change the subject.

"How much is this?" I search my pocket for cash, but he shakes his head.

"Don't worry about that."

"It can't be done!"

"I did it with my heart."

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"I accepted them with all my heart, too. And I'm going to pay. How much?" I darken my
voice at the end to emphasize my seriousness. These things aren't free. Hearts and money
are two different things. I don't want to take advantage of him when he's taken such good care of me.

Faifah frowns slightly and remains silent, reflecting on it. I give him time. A moment later, he
realizes with an extremely shameless face.

"So why don't you take me to the movies? Does that sound okay to you~?"

"When are you free?"

"You'd better check your schedule. I'm always free for you."

Are you going to go out and have fun without studying anymore?

"I have a group project. I actually had time for it on Saturday afternoon, but..."

"But what?" he asks sharply.

"I'll have dinner with Tor."

"When did you set the date? When? Why didn't you tell me? Do you want a spanking?"
Her response stuns me. Faifah bombards me with questions as if I'm crazy. Will I be able to
answer in time? No.

"Hey, relax. It was sudden."

"What time?" Faifah asks, strangely disturbed.

"Five o'clock in the afternoon." He's scarier than my father. I'm scared.

"Where do you go after that?"

"I hadn't thought of that."

"Do you want me to pick you up?"

"I can go back by myself."

I reject his kindness, not meaning to upset him, but my words cause his cheerful expression
to turn somber. It only lasts a few seconds before he smiles again.

"Okay. Have a great date. Impress him." Faifah pats me on the shoulder, but I feel very
uncomfortable.

"Th...Thank you."

"Leave."

"Thanks for the snacks."

"Yessss."

Faifah answers and leaves. I watch his broad back fade away.

I can't understand why I feel sadder than usual...

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From that day on, Faifah and I barely saw each other. No, we never saw each other. I had no idea
where she was. She never contacted me and didn't answer my calls. We never ran into each
other anywhere, as if Faifah had erased her existence from this world.

He wasn't in the department building or at the cat cafe he frequented. Even during freshman
activities, where he always showed up to help his junior classmates, he was nowhere to be seen.

Other people have been asking about him, not just me. Even today, at the meeting to brief the
freshmen on the details of the event, the man I was hoping to see was nowhere to be seen.

"Wine."

I turn to my mentor, who squats down and offers me a bag of snacks and drinks. I feel bad, but I
accept it anyway, unable to refuse or talk to him.
awhile.

"Thanks, Yotha. You don't have to do this every time."

"It's okay. Eat. You've been thinner lately."

"Just a little bit. I haven't been sleeping well." I've been worried about a lot
things.

Studying, worrying about my first reunion with Tor in months, and the disappearance of Mr. Brilliant
from Engineering. It all escalated and led to this state I'm in.

"Is school difficult?"

What do I do? How am I supposed to answer Mr. Darkness's question? I think about it and, to
avoid worrying him, I decide to joke about it.

"No, I got hooked on a show. Last night I watched ten episodes in one sitting. Crazy."

"I shouldn't have worried," my mentor complains. "Do you want to go to my brother's bar tonight?"

"Sorry. I'm meeting someone today."

And that someone is Tor, the first man I fell madly in love with.

"Okay. Call me if you have time."

"Sure."

Yotha meets with the second-year students, where Kun, her boyfriend, is.

I envy them for being brave enough to reveal their relationship to the world. They don't hide it or
keep it a secret. They embrace their love, care for each other, and express their feelings openly. I
aspire to have a relationship like that. Also, I hope someone gives me the courage to confess it to
the whole world.

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But that day is yet to come.

The thought makes me sigh. I open the bag and remain silent. It contains cakes, drinks, and a
few other snacks. Oddly enough, they're all my favorites.

Even though I met Yotha, I didn't tell him everything.

That means such thoughtful gifts can't just come from him. Only a few people know my
preferences, especially on campus.

One, my impertinent best friend, who constantly gives me headaches.

And two, Faifah, whom I've been searching for the last few days.

Can I have hope? Can I have hope that he still cares about me even when we're not together?

"Hey, asshole."

"Hmm?"

"Are you really going to dinner with your crush?" J's question leaves me perplexed. I look
in the mirror and don't see anything strange about my clothes, hair, or shoes.

" Yes, why?"

"Take a good look in the mirror. It looks like they're forcing you to go. Cheer up."

"I'm cheering up. I'm excited to see him after so long."

"Are you aware of your double standards? I remember you choosing from ten outfits
for the fake date with Faifah and dressing up for the occasion. Why is it so different
now that it's the real date?"

Okay, I just realized it. I don't want to admit it, though. I also find it strange that my voice
sounded monotone when I said I was excited. Not to mention my preparation and outfit. No
wonder J pointed it out.

"I've been tired, working on our group assignment."

"I understand. Do you want some perfume?" J offers, making me uneasy.

"The lemongrass one?" My best friend nods. That perfume is legendary. Does it smell good?
Well, yes. I wonder why Faifah said it smelled like lemongrass. I put that thought out of my head.

I think of someone else when I'm about to meet someone else. However, just because
someone doesn't like a certain perfume doesn't mean someone else will.

"Okay. Two sprays."

J rushes to find one of her perfumes. I remember that's the most expensive one. I hope Tor
likes it.

Once this is done, Jenjob pushes me towards the door.

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"Go. Run after your love."

"Thank you"

The meeting place is a restaurant in the city center. As soon as I arrive, I look around for Tor and check my
watch. Today I'm perfectly punctual, even though I left early with the goal of arriving before the scheduled
time.

"Good evening, sir. How many people are there?"

The waitress welcomes me. My eyes scan the restaurant without finding Tor. I send him a text, but he doesn't
reply. I guess he's on his way.

"Two."

"This way, please"

He leads me to an empty table. I sit down and browse the menu.

Since it's just a meal between siblings, not a date, it's nothing special.
I'm excited, even though it's been a while since we've seen each other. I hope our reunion will further develop
our relationship.

Sadly, my hope is fading. I've been waiting for a while, and Tor hasn't appeared.

I've lost count of the number of times I've looked at my watch. Fifteen minutes have passed.
Faifah wouldn't have kept me waiting long and would have even arrived early.

I hate myself for comparing them when they're different people. I should focus on Tor, the person I'm carrying.

"Wine, sorry I'm late. Something came up."

The wait is finally over. As soon as Tor appears, I smile and look at the older man who approaches and drops
into the chair across from me.

"Alright."

He's the same as the last time we met, whether in his personality or his fashion.
He's still the kind brother he was.

"Have you placed your order yet?"

"I was waiting for you."

"Then let's order whatever you want."

We choose some simple dishes and chat while we wait for our food. It's not as awkward as I feared.

"It's been a while. You've changed a lot. How are you? Are you okay?"

"Yes. And you, Tor?"

"School is tough. I told Toey on the phone the other day I'd meet up with you."

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For some reason, I'm glad. At least I had the courage to apologize to Toey that day, which
allowed me to move forward today without feeling stuck in the past. Besides, aside from
accepting my apology, she refused to come between her brother and me.

"Send him my regards."

"Sure."

The food is served shortly and we dine leisurely.

"This restaurant is great. I took my friends here last time, and they all raved about the
food," Tor says proudly. The food is excellent, just as he claims.

"I always trust your taste buds," Tor smiles and says nothing more.

Faifah would have responded with a joke or a playful comment to my answer.

Wait, I'm with Tor now, not Faifah. Why do I keep comparing him to that other guy? I hate
myself for not being able to stop.

Tor uses his phone often. He'd pick it up, stare at the screen, and put it aside. The first time it
didn't bother me, but after the second and third times, I feel uncomfortable. Am I getting bored
with him?

Except for when he's constantly checking his phone, he's still the same. The same kind
brother he's always been. However, I've realized something I'd previously overlooked. No one
is perfect, in fact. Could it be because I've met someone better and more compatible with me?

Questions flood my brain for almost an hour. After lunch, everyone goes their separate ways.
I return to my soulless dorm, flop face down on the bed, and talk to my roommate in a low
voice.

"J, is there a possibility that our first love could be our last love?"

"Of course. Why do you ask?" he replies instantly. I can't see his expression, but I don't
really care.

"No reason"

"How was it today?"

"I'm very happy," I say, stretching my voice.

"You looked miserable when you got back, idiot. You've been contradicting your true feelings lately."

"Did you see Faifah?" a fleeting image comes to mind.

"Are you asking about someone else after a meal with the other person?"

"Answer me."

"No, I didn't."

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For some reason, I feel like crying. I kick my legs like a spoiled brat and bury my face in
the pillow to suppress my emotions as much as possible.

"You're like a sad puppy," J tells me, taking pity on me. "I'll comfort you with a
song. Which one should I play? Knowing too late?"
"Boo" That's terrible.

"No? Let's watch a movie, then. They're re-releasing some old movies in theaters
right now. Huh? How about Happy Together? The description is touching... I can't
love anyone more than him in this world."

"Fuck you," I snap, leaping to my feet.

"Call him."

"I don't want to bother him."

"Then don't call him."

"But I want to know how he is."

"Call him," J repeats. I still have doubts.

"What if he's busy?"

"It's okay. Don't call him."

"And if..."

"Warat, if you don't call him, I will! Stop hesitating, you annoying bastard."

Faced with J's outburst of frustration, I decide to call Faifah as suggested. I pick up my
phone and call the person I've been missing with hope, only to discover that...

[The number you're trying to call is unavailable. Please try again...]

I'm going to bed.

I'm going to drown in tears and never get up again.

I've been rotting in bed with a broken heart for days. Finally, J lifts me up by the wrist,
but I have no energy.

"Dude, eat some oatmeal."

"Fuck off. I'm fine."

"I heard you crying from over there. Are you really okay?"

"Yeah."

With his tireless efforts, Jenjob finally gets me out of bed despite my messy state.

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"Take a shower. We have to work on our group assignment with those assholes.
"Separate your love life from school, will you?"

"What love life? I'm not in love with Faifah."

"When did I mention Faifah?"

"..."

"I was talking about Tor."

I just realized what I said. It was a mistake. Nooooo!

"Oh, yeah? Ah... Ah, right." Did I save myself in time? I look at J and know he's not convinced.

"You don't want porridge. Go drink the water from the footbath."

"Fuck off"

Finally, I take my weakened body to work on the group assignment and stay busy all day.
Not because my friends pile up tasks, but because I'm trying to distract myself from a
certain person on my mind.

At night, I have nowhere else to be and return to the dorm to get some more sleep. J is
quick to insist that we meet on November 15th, impressed by the exciting experience
before.

Thinking I might be able to see Faifah, I agree to go there with my best friend. It'll just be the
two of us, since Ben is doing a collaboration with another channel.

"The lighting is very dim, perfect for getting drunk."

Jenjob gets excited as soon as we enter the bar, praising it nonstop, as if drinking and
chatting with his friend were enough.

"Don't drink too much? Who will take you back?"

"You son of a bitch."

"Damn load."

"Like I don't mind you at all when you cry for someone," J drops the bomb on me and
walks over to the bar counter where someone familiar is sitting.

"There he is, the cause of misery." Newton's words make me frown.

"Hi guys."

"Hey, Wine, J," Newton greets.

After the brief conversation, my tall friend and I sat on the high stools at the bar counter.
We selected our drinks before Newton spoke.

"It's perfect timing. Yotha just left to pick up her boyfriend. You guys place the
order first. You don't have to wait for him." I nod. Newton didn't mention the name I
wanted to hear.

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What do I do? Should I ask him? J, reading my mind, nudges me to encourage me.

"Ah... lately... Faifah has been coming here?"

"Fai? He comes more often than before. He's here today."

Shit, my heart beats fast at the sound of his name with excitement and joy, but... where is he?
I look around and can't even glimpse a shadow of him. If it had been earlier, I would have spotted
him immediately, despite the size of the crowd.

"He was here a moment ago. Damn, where the hell has he gone?" the older brother says,
scratching his head. Nop interrupts him.

"Maybe in the bathroom? I'll go get it."

"It's okay. You don't have to do that."

Faifah probably doesn't want to see me. Since he turned off his phone, he's obviously uncomfortable.

"Don't worry. We're not strangers. Stay here. Fai! Fai!"

The more I refuse, the more Newton wants to help. He strides toward the men's restroom on the other side,
while J and I wait anxiously to see the person I've been looking for all week. Finally, I see Faifah again. But
this time... uh... he's being dragged out.

As the distance between us shortens, I can see him more clearly, little by little. Faifah hasn't changed.
She's still the same, whether it's her body or her skin tone.
I wonder why he disappeared. Was it because of me?

"Stop it. Stop dragging me," the tall guy growls. He sits down on the empty stool next to me, his
expression strained.

"Were you going to sleep there?"

"I was smoking"

"No smoking in the bathroom, you piece of shit."

The fights between the brothers are quite entertaining. They'd be more fun if Yotha were here. Faifah
acts as if Jenjob and I aren't here; she doesn't even look at us.

"New, ten cans of beer."

"Ten, my ass. You never pay anything and yet you ask for so much."

"A heartless person like you wouldn't understand."

"Why do you lower your voice and act cold?"

"I don't lower my voice. This is my voice."

"Yes, yes."

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The older brother heads to the fridge, places an imported beer in front of the tall man, and goes
back to work. Customers are scarce during the week, but they constantly come into the bar.
Newton doesn't have time to pay attention to his brother.

Ten minutes later, Yotha and Kun show up and play a drinking game with Jenjob, leaving me with Faifah at
the bar.

This is awkward. I'm afraid I've unintentionally upset you because your gestures upset this so
shockingly. Where is the brilliant and kind Faifah?

"It's been a while," I begin, unable to tolerate the oppressive silence.

"Oh yeah?" Wow, he sounds indifferent.

"You must be drunk."

"I'm not."

It smells like alcohol. I guess he didn't just drink beer before J and I arrived.

A silence falls after our brief conversation. I hate not having a clue where to start. Faifah usually initiated
conversations. Now it's awkward for both of us to be silent.

Warich, one of Newton's business partners, plays a bittersweet song and dims the lights to set
the mood, as if mocking us.

"Why are you looking at me?" Faifah realizes. I quickly turn my head and stammer out a
reply.

"No, I'm absorbing the atmosphere."

"..."

He doesn't offer any answers. Okay, let's do it. I'll just ask.

"Are you mad at me?"

"I'm not. Why would I be?" Faifah refuses to meet my eyes.

"Why do you look angry?"

"I do? You're imagining it." He gulps down the beer. I carefully sip the margarita Nop made
me. "You must be happy, huh? Your love life is going well."

"How do you know that?"

"Your eyes say it all."

"Foolishness."

"Truth is not nonsense."

"Do you see what's going on between Tor and me?"

"No, and I don't want to," he says dully.

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Faifah started disappearing and losing contact with me when I told him I couldn't go to the
movies with him because I was going to dinner with the boy I liked. I'm not sure if my rejection
bothered him, and I don't dare ask.

"Thank you for the gifts Yotha gave me. You got me snacks even when you weren't there."

"Who? Who did that? I don't know anything."

This time he answers quickly, even looking directly at me.

"Don't you know anything?"

"No, nothing at all. You're not that important."

"Okay, I believe you." No. What a stubborn guy.

"What brings you here? Did Yotha invite you?" Faifah changes the subject, and I'm not
cruel enough to force him to explain. I play along with the tall man's joke.

"I came here myself."

"You're a minor. Don't come back here."

"So why did you bring me here last time?"

Faifah remains silent. He finishes his beer and shouts to his brother to bring him more.
Newton shakes his head and places another beer in front of his brother.

"You've already drunk too much. I'll drink this," I say, taking the cold beer. Faifah snatches
it up in a split second and snarls, frowning.

"Children can't drink beer."

"I did it when I was with you. Come on..."

"Mischievous."

"You're more naughty."

"Don't answer."

"Where's Mr. Bright? Show me your bright side."

"I'm not in the mood today."

Faifah doesn't express her true feelings. When she's sad or depressed, she never tells anyone.

I remember the days when he tried to change and stop being so kind. The radical change hurt
him and those around him. I don't want history to repeat itself.

But I don't know. I don't know what's going on because he keeps his mouth shut and I'm not good enough.
brazen enough to ask or pry too much. I'm worried...

Yeah, I'm just worried.

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"Faifah, the exam results are out." A lot happened last week, and one of them was the
announcement of the midterm exam results. "I almost got a perfect score in software
writing. I wanted to tell you, but I didn't get the chance. I want to eat the most delicious
food, and you'll pay for it."

"What are you talking about?"

"I passed the English exam without any problems. I used to be dumber, but your tutoring
helped me a lot."

"Stop flattering me"

The idea amuses me every time. My reward for getting good grades is incredibly simple: an
excellent meal. However, my request requires something more special: Faifah's company.

His request was fucking hilarious and left me stunned for a few moments.

A kiss...

I'd be rewarded with that if we were dating, but we're not. Besides, it all happened in a
hypothetical situation. That's why it's full of "what ifs" or "ifs."

"Would you invite me to lunch?"

"Set the date you will be free."

"I'm always free for you."

"Aren't you going to see the person you like?" I unconsciously press my lips together at his
question.

"No, we won't see each other that often."

Again there was no response. Faifah tapped the marble countertop with her long fingers,
pondering for a long moment before speaking.

"Wine."

"Hmm?"

"Remember my request for a reward for good scores?"

"Yes, but it's..." Faifah interrupts me before I finish.

"I did my best on the midterm exam and got high grades."

"You are the best."

Faifah smiles, though there's a hint of something in her eyes. I have no idea what it is, but
that's not the look of a happy person.

"But it pains me greatly that my request will never be fulfilled."

"..."

"Because we're not really dating"

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I know now. The way you look at me... it's full of pain.
*****

"What are you doing?"

"Mind your own business."

"Fuck you. I brought you to see him and this is how you repay me?"

I rinse the beer can with water after returning to the bedroom with a faint smell of alcohol, clean
the can well, dry it, and organize things under my bed at midnight.

I hide my box of memories here and go through it from time to time. Somehow, today I want to
remember the past.

The box contains Tor-related items. There aren't many, but I remember where I got them.
Okay, he never gave me anything on special days, so I kept everything he gave me, even a
box of cookies.

I received all of this when I was dating Toey. However, everything is different now. I brought
nothing back after our reunion dinner, and I don't even regret it.

"Why did you take the beer can? To plant something?"

Continuing on, my roommate walks behind me and silently fixes his eyes on the objects on my desk.

"No. Can't I keep it?"

"In your top secret box?"

"Yeah."

"Do you keep these things in the box?"

"What's wrong with that? You're acting like you don't know me."

"But this is Faifah's."

My friend's words hit me like a hammer. Everything stops. I don't even dare to exhale.

I just realized what I did.

Once I recover, the still world begins to move again. I bend down and pull another box from under my bed,
my heart racing. I keep going despite my sweaty hand.

The moment the box of memories opens, everything I've forgotten comes flooding back to me in an instant. I
sit in silence, losing the ability to control my emotions.

The various objects in front of me were the ones Faifah had given me. Sometimes I would put
them in the box and immediately put it under the bed. I didn't know there were so many.

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The gifts, the movie tickets, the flower, the concert tickets for the music festival in another province, and the
blurry photo.

Everything... I saved everything.

This begs the question... If Faifah isn't important to me, why am I collecting these things and hiding them in
the back of my mind?

Am I afraid of falling in love with him unilaterally and that he won't reciprocate my feelings?

If I could go back in time, I would wait for my true mentor to return to the
table.

If it were possible, I would let Yotha take me instead of bothering him.

If it were possible, I would reject all their invitations and lock myself away in my boring world.

If it were possible, I would not rush, nor feel happy when he was happy, nor feel sad when he was sad.

If it were possible, I wouldn't help him change himself, nor would I let him change me.

But since it is impossible to go back in time, all those scenarios will never happen.
I must accept the truth that he plays an important role in my life today.

It's him... whom I wish to be more than a brother.

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CHAPTER 12: MANOP'S DREAM

COME TRUE
No matter how far I'm falling or how late I realized my feelings, I have to hide it and act as
if nothing has changed. Faifah has been kind to everyone, and I'm already in love with
someone.

Well, that's how it should be.

No matter how I feel, it's impossible. It's best to maintain our brotherly relationship so it lasts.

"Yes! That's it"

"What the fuck? Why are you screaming?" J yells, shaking his head at me. I forgot we
were even talking before I got lost in my thoughts.

"Sorry, brother."

"What's up? Have you reached Nirvana?" It's not that. Undecided, I ask my best friend
his opinion.

"J, have you ever felt indecisive or insecure?"

"Are you telling me you're not sure who you like between Tor and Faifah?"

"Shit, how do you know?"

That's exactly right. I didn't know that, in addition to his great curiosity, J could read minds.

"You can tell from your whole face. Who the hell wouldn't know? Even Ben asked me."

"He doesn't know I'm in love with Tor."

"No, he doesn't know, but he knows something's going on between you and Faifah."

"He has nothing for me."

"How do you know?"

"He said it."

I remember well what he said at the bar. We're just brothers. Yet my heart sank when I heard it.

"And you?" Jenjob presses. I don't respond, still unsure of my own feelings. "Wine, we've
been friends for years. You may have always been indecisive, but this time you must
choose."

"I have no problem choosing lately."

"Why did you ask then?"

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"Tor was my first love, the boy of my dreams, and now he's within my reach."

"Maybe your first love isn't the end," I sigh. "It doesn't matter. Some things take time
to decide."

"Hey."

"So what now?"

"I'm the worst, aren't I?"

"About what? I've lost count." I really want to kick his ass. Stop acting funny when I'm serious.

"On having feelings for someone when I'm talking to someone else."

"First, let's get the facts straight. How many times have you seen that person you're talking to?"

I roll my eyes as I absorb my tall friend's words. If I start counting after my goodbyes with
Toey, it's only been once.

"You guys just text. He's never called you. Are you really talking to this guy?"

It's true, we don't even have each other's phone numbers and only interact on social media,
and our relationship never seems to evolve. I even compared him to someone else during
lunch.

"What if I like Faifah?"

"So you like him. Tell him."

"But Faifah doesn't think that way about me. I don't want to get ahead of myself, but I
still have hope."

"Fuck... what a failure"

*****

Nop's wedding is approaching. In addition to being tired from all the preparations over the
past few months, the couple has been very busy with a ton of errands and has barely had
time for anything else. Just now, the Thanawanyotas' oldest brother contacted me out of the
blue.

I have no idea how Newton got my number. Maybe from J when they were drinking together.
Regardless, I'm heading towards November 15th.

"You're fast, boo-hoo." Newton lunges forward and throws his arms around me, his face
pale. He must have had his hands full; he wasn't faking. "Where are your friends? Where
are J and Ben?"

"You called me out of the blue. They're busy."

"Okay. Thank you so much for coming, dear brother. You're a gift from heaven."

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"How can I help you?" I scratch my head and look around the bar for something. There's nothing.

"The problem is that a new bar has opened across the street from mine, and it accepts all my
customers."

"Ah, but you never had that many clients in the first place."

"How would you like to die, Wine?"

"I'm sorry. Please continue." I have to save myself. They're ready to throw punches at me, even though I
told the truth.

"They're accepting my regulars. Can you go see what's so great about the bar?"

Well, that's a huge task.

"Why don't you all go see for yourselves?"

"They know our faces. There's no hope."

"How sad," I play along.

"Right?" Nop kneels, wraps his arms around my waist, and moans in anguish.
"Can you help this brother? Think of it as a wedding gift for me.
I want to be lucky in life and love at the same time."

If it goes this far, your bar must be in critical condition. Sigh~ At this rate, I must take measures to save your
finances and your survival.

I have to do it even if it's against my will. I gather my courage and cross the street to the new bar. It seems
quiet outside, like it's November 15th, but I notice a marked difference when I step inside.

"Welcome," the doorman greets me. I nod and awkwardly search for a table.

Wow, the decor is perfect from the entrance to the interior. The bar isn't as spacious, relatively the same size
as the 15 de Noviembre, but everything else is different.
Their employees are all smiles, while November 15th has a haunted house feel. They've already won on this
front.

As I'm trying to decide what to do, someone approaches.

"What would you like to drink?" He's a plump man with long, curly hair that reaches the middle of his
back, looking very artistic and friendly. This eases my nervousness a lot.

"Do you have a menu?"

"Of course. Are you here alone?" he asks, leaving the menu on the table.

"Yeah."

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"I'm Petch, the owner of this place. Don't worry, you're here alone. Don't be nervous.
Let me know if you need anything."

"Okay." I'll need your help quite often because I'm having trouble with everything. I don't know
what to ask for, and I have to gather information for Newton and Nop.

They attract many more customers than on November 15th, and the reason is obvious. Even the
owner is friendly and never puts on a threatening face. I need to know more about the other things.

I skim the menu. Everything has alcohol in it, which isn't the best situation. Besides, Newton
told me not to drink alcohol. But it would be weird to visit a bar and order only fried chicken for
a snack.

"Do you have any non-alcoholic drinks? I'm... underage."

"Huh? You're underage?" Pech looks surprised and suddenly breaks into a smile.
"Keep it a secret, okay?"

"Well"

"How old are you?"

"Nineteen."

"Okay. Here are the recommendations." He flips the page to the corner where the lizard-
sized menus are. Hell, you could have skipped them if they were that small.
"Mocktails. What do you like? Raspberry, mint, or pineapple?"

"Raspberry, please." The color must be very pretty. I'll take a picture to show my friends.

"Sure. You're amazing, coming here alone."

I'm not amazing. I was forced.

"Haha," I laugh dryly, unable to say much.

"Fist bump?" The bar owner extends his fist, so I hit it with mine, playing along.

"Your ring might fall off when you bump fists."

Shit!

Someone suddenly appears, and that person is the one I expected to see.

I feel trapped in a daydream as I watch the tall boy walk over and sit in the chair across from me.

"A blue daisy, please," Faifah says. Petch seems a little confused that I somehow have a
partner now that I said I was alone.

"Sure. Do you want something to eat? Everything is delicious."

"N..." Faifah is about to decline, but the bar owner continues.

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"We have an excellent chef. I asked him to leave the United States to work here."

"Because it's cool?"

"No, he was out of work there."

What the fuck?

"I recommend our house menu"

"N..."

"Everyone who tries it loves it."

"No."

"Don't you want to try it, handsome?"

"I mean, no, I'm not going to miss it. I'm going to order one." Was he so determined to turn it down but
then gave up when someone called him handsome? He shouldn't have expected much from him.

"Okay. Would you like to... too?"

"That's all for now," Mr. Bright hands the menu back to the bar owner and turns away to protect
himself from the persuasion.

"Let me know if you need anything, okay?" Pech waves his hand and apologizes.

"Why are you here? What if they recognize you?"

"I'm in disguise."

"As if people wouldn't notice." Faifah is simply wearing a cap. You don't have to be a scientist
to know he's a spy from the other bar. The plan has been ruined.

"Fuck them. How could New make you come here alone? That bastard."

Faifah complains. I pat him on the shoulder to calm him down.

"Your bar is just across the street. It's okay." I'm glad I came. Now I know how much you
care about me.

"Okay, my ass. Don't you know this place is illegal?" What? Your brother's bar is way worse,
but I won't say it to avoid getting beaten up.

"I can take care of myself."

"You're nothing but chatter. What did you order?"

"A non-alcoholic cocktail."

"It's a relief," he says, acting like my companion. "If my brother asks you for help again, turn
him down. Let them figure things out on their own."

"I want to help."

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"Enough. Don't you see I have no choice but to disguise myself to accompany you?"

"You can go first. I'm fine on my own."

"No!" says this stubborn person. None of us refuses to give in. Finally, a waiter serving us
drinks saves us by ringing the bell.

What the hell? They're fast and helpful. Ten out of ten. A fair win against November 15th.

The food is served a few minutes after the drinks. Wow, I'm dying to ask if the food was just
microwaved and served. Why is it so fast? But judging by the looks of it, it's definitely freshly
made.

"The food and drinks are much cheaper than ours," Faifah pouts, taking in the information
just like me.

"It's true."

"Why do you agree? Argue with me."

"Oh." What the fuck?

"There's nothing good about it. Their drinks just taste better."

"..."

"The music is nice. The food is decent. The staff are friendly. The bar owner welcomes
you to your table." Faifah points everything out even though he says, "There's nothing
good." I'm worried it's the end of the bar on the other side.

"You can improve," I console her. Faifah isn't finished.

"Of course we can, but the problem is the name of the bar. Theirs sounds better and
is easier to remember. Meanwhile, my brother named his bar November 15th. I don't
know if that's the day the bar was founded or the day it went bankrupt."

There's no hope. Should they close the bar and reopen it in an area without rivals? A secluded
meadow is interesting, even though the customers may not be human.

"Hey, what's that? Live music?"

The tall boy's eyes widen as he sees the corner where a band is soundchecking. Their score
is already high. Now they're unmatched.

"This is bad. I have to sing at my brother's bar."

"P... Please don't do it . " The bar would go bankrupt faster. There are some things that shouldn't
be changed.

"Don't you want to hear my beautiful singing?"

"No."

"How cruel. Isn't that a bit harsh? You're toooooo."

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It exhausts me so much that I feel like asking the bar for an inhaler and a herbal soda.
I let the man in front of me complain until he recovers and gets serious.

"How are you?"

"I?"

Faifah nods.

"Yeah, we haven't seen each other much lately."

"Why have you been avoiding me?" I wanted to see you like crazy.

"I didn't avoid you. I was afraid of upsetting you."

"You never bothered me."

"How are things going with Tor?"

I don't like this.

Why does he always mention the third one when we're together? And I don't understand why it frustrates me
when he mentions it.

"Why do you ask?"

"I'm nosy."

"I haven't seen him since that day." I raise my glass, take a sip, and look away from his.
"Can we talk about something else?"

"Are you shy?"

"Do I look like what I am?"

Was that sarcasm?

Am I a bad person for not controlling my feelings? I'm clear about who I like, but I'm still selfish. Even though
I've repeatedly told myself who I should like, my heart refused to listen, causing this confusion that, if it
continued, would harm others as well as myself.

"What are the signs that you like someone?" I can't believe that question is coming from
a man who knows so many people.

"I guess you're happy when you're with them."

"Oh yeah? I don't think so. Because I'm happy when I'm with you."

"Well... is your heart beating fast?"

"It beats fast when I'm with you."

"You could think about them all the time."

"I think about you all the time."

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Are you saying that these signs are not implications that you are in love with someone?

I get those signals when I'm with him, and he gets those signals when he's with me, but
we interpret them differently. Should I be happy or sad?

"Wine, will you tell me when you're finally dating the person you like?"

I'm not sure what the signs that you like someone are from others, but, to me, it's becoming
clear as we talk.

"Of course I will"

It's the pain of thinking that the person next to me isn't him.

"But... if I'm not dating that person anymore..." I don't want to hurt him anymore. I'm
tired of hesitating. "Is it okay if I tell you?"

"You'd better tell me quickly."

"..."

"I will comfort you."

If so, even if I let go of the love I've been holding on to, you'll still be with me, right?

Even if you don't have feelings for me, at least I won't lose you.

"Did you get everything you ordered?" Petch asks as he checks us out, snapping me
out of my train of thought to find him beaming in front of me.

"Yes, the food and drinks are delicious," I congratulate him to cheer him up, even though his bar is a rival
to ours.

"I'm glad to hear that. Please come again."

"Sure."

Petch remains silent, looking at me and Faifah.

"Are you two dating?"

"No, we're not!" I deny it, almost falling back in my chair. The bar owner bursts out
laughing and mocks us.

"It's so obvious. Just confess your feelings. Life is short."

Well, life is short. But how can I confess my one-sided love?

"I won't bother you anymore. Enjoy."

Petch turns around and scans the other tables, leaving me and the tall guy in an awkward
silence. Finally, Faifah mumbles something.

"How did he think that?"

"Right? How?" My eyes dart around in fear of getting caught.

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"Amazing."

"Hey?!"

"I mean, the bar owner is amazing."

"..."

"He can read minds."

I wonder whose mind Faifah is talking about: mine or hers?

*****

"Hello, Tor."

"Finally, we have time to eat together," his response brings a smile to my face.

People take different amounts of time to make decisions. In my case, I have trouble deciding
on my feelings. The longer it takes, the more afraid I am that it'll be too late and I'll end up
hurting those around me. That's why I intend to never prolong my hesitation any longer.

"How have you been?" I ask. The answer is similar to last time.

"School has been very hectic. And you?"

"I'm fine. How is Toey?"

"She's very clingy with her boyfriend, saying she wants to move into an apartment
together. You can't stand in the way of lovers. Even if I give her freedom, I always
look out for her."

"That's typical of you."

I admire him deeply. A good guy like him deserves to be loved by someone more suitable
and compatible.

"Let's place an order," he says, opening the menu.

The initial awkwardness gradually fades after a brief silence as the food is served. We eat in silence. Tor is
different from last time; he's no longer constantly looking at his phone.

"Wine."

"Yeah?"

"All this time, neither of us has been clear. I want to ask you just to be sure." Tor puts
his spoon and fork together and stares at me, unblinking. "Do you like me?"

My nerves are on edge. I know he's noticed since I sent him my first direct message in
months and all my messages indicating my intention. Still, the direct question leaves me
perplexed.

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It would have been great if we had met when my feelings for you were the same.

"I liked you." I swallow several times.

I put down my cutlery, glue my eyes to the table for a moment, and summon the courage to meet his gaze.

"Ever since high school, I've had a one-sided crush on you," Tor listens silently without
interrupting. "When I found out you were into guys, I decided to give it a try."

"I realized. I wanted to try it too. Who would have thought we'd get along better than we
did in high school after such a short period of time?" she says, smiling, her face brighter
than ever.

"You are a great person."

"So what now?"

"Now I think... that I don't feel anything for you anymore."

I hate myself for having hurt several people, whether it was Toey or Tor. Everything changes so
easily that I'm afraid it'll become a vicious cycle.

But because feelings are complicated, even I can't control them, when they form in your heart,
you must remind yourself what you should and shouldn't do.

I was afraid of approaching someone and letting their words and actions influence me, even
though no one had ever done that to me. That was until I met someone.

"Do you like someone else?"

"Yes, but I don't have much hope."

I always realize it too late and love someone I shouldn't.

"I'm sorry for hurting you and wasting your time."

"We're just trying, not dating. If it doesn't work out, we can go our separate ways," Tor
says politely, not getting angry like I feared. "To be honest, you're not the only one I'm talking
to, so don't feel bad."

I've thought carefully about revealing the truth to Tor today. Well, the sooner the better. I don't
want to waste anyone's time with my indecision. Now that I'm sure I don't like Tor anymore, I
should stop. And even though I know I have no chance with Faifah, I must accept my feelings.

That it's enough for me to have him in my life even if he doesn't love me.

"Thank you for being kind to me all this time."

"Thank you too for being kind to me."

"It may sound terrible to ask, but are we... still brothers?"

A laugh escapes his mouth before he responds with another laugh.

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"You've been lying to yourself."

"I?"

"Our complicated relationship should have been resolved a long time ago. Have
you no idea that since we started talking again...?"
"..."

"...Have you just been treating me like a brother?"

"Let's celebrate this newly single guy!"

*****

"How the hell did he stay single if he wasn't dating anyone?"

"Fucking tragic."

When I return, my two best friends give me a big welcome with soda, ice, and a huge
pile of snacks. Do they really feel sorry for me?

"Don't be sad. I think someone is willing to comfort your heart." That rascal J knows my secret.

"Who?" Ben never notices.

"Guess, my dear friend."

"It will take me another lifetime to figure that out."

"Ben, I'll tell you the truth."

I interrupted their guessing game.

For his friendship towards me, even though it hasn't been a decade, considering everything he
did for me and the time I spent with him, it's time.

Whether you can accept it or not, you should get out now.

"Ugh, the truth again? I'll kick your ass if it's not juicy enough," Ben says, totally
interested. I count down in my head.
"I..."

Three...two...

"Don't tell me you like Faifah, haha."

One!

"Yes, I think I like Faifah."

"Cool... huh?"
*****

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Nop and Faye's wedding takes place in a garden, a small ceremony to which only their
family and friends are invited.

Jenjob, Benjie, and I, as friends of polar-opposite twins, are among those lucky ones. We've been invited to
immerse ourselves in the romantic atmosphere of the wedding along with everyone else.

A few days ago, we rented suits for this occasion. The theme is luxurious gray and natural light green, which
is no surprise. The wedding is held among refreshing trees and flowers. The bride and groom must have
thought the photographs would be stunning that way.

"What would you like, Big Little Wine?"

A cheerful voice echoes as I absorb the late afternoon atmosphere.

Faifah looks different than usual today with his gray suit and combed hair, attracting
everyone's attention even when he stands still.

"The most delicious dessert here," I joke. Faifah carefully places the sweet, colorful desserts in front of
me.

"Here you go. I know what you want."

They offered a buffet so guests could enjoy sweet and savory dishes and drinks to their
liking. Meanwhile, Faifah brought me a whole tray of desserts. How am I supposed to
finish them?

Ben and JJ went to drink ice-cold beer with our elders. If I can't eat all of this, Faifah
must take responsibility.

"Isn't that too much?"

"We are sharing."

"I forgot to tell you that you look very handsome today," I say. Faifah is easily
flattered and praises himself all the time. His heart must be very excited when someone
else praises him.

"I have to look elegant as a groomsman."

"Ha ha."

"You look good too, Wine."

"Of course."

"Now you've become as conceited as I am," I shrug, accepting.

I guess I inherited it from him. My confidence is still the same, but my shamelessness knows no bounds.

The wedding ceremony took place at Nop's house in the morning. Then, we headed to
the suburbs to celebrate the rest of the day in a refreshing atmosphere, surrounded by

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trees, flowers, white tables and an unknown musical genre that sounds relaxing and dreamlike.

"I have to make a toast today," the handsome guy says with a hint of concern, munching on the desserts I
assure him.

"You'll do fine."

"Look, I wrote a script, but I don't remember it."

Faifah unfolds the crumpled note to show it to me. Her handwriting is infamously messy.
You may stutter during delivery.

"Then speak from the heart. I think Nop prefers that."

"Do you believe that?"

"Everything feels sincere from the heart."

"If you say so."

After the conversation about her toast, I hope Faifah doesn't ruin the wedding by mentioning something
inappropriate. Something that comes from the heart can be a disastrous truth. The moment the tall man takes
the stage, I shift nervously in my seat.

"Stay still, asshole," J growls. How am I supposed to calm my anxiety?

"Dude, I screwed up."

"What did you do?" J looks at me nervously. I look at the tall boy for a second and turn back to my best
friend.

"I told Faifah to speak from the heart. You can imagine how crazy her mind is, right?"

"Shit. It's too late. Let's pray."

The wedding won't be ruined. The wedding won't be ruined. The wedding won't be ruined. Amen!

Everyone's attention is on the tall boy, including the bride and groom sitting in the white chairs in front of the
stage.

Faifah takes the microphone from an old man, looks around the garden, and stops at me.

Her perfectly formed lips curve into the most beautiful smile I've seen today.

"The first thing I want to say is that I'm not Yotha."

A burst of laughter. Ben claps his hands with satisfaction as J leans toward him and whispers over and over,
"We're screwed."

But I love it. What a fun start.

When the laughter dies down, the tall boy continues.

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"No, he's not my biological brother, but I feel like he is. We met years ago.
I remember him looking great with the then-fashionable hairstyle, the legendary Mohawk,
his oversized student shirt, and his ripped jeans. He was the most artistic man I'd ever met.

I imagine the description and I imagine how warm it must have been.

"The first thing you said to me was, 'Hey... you,' in an intimidating voice. I thought, 'Oh, I'm
screwed.'"

Faifah makes everyone laugh a second time, this time for longer, and then continues.

"To my surprise, your gruff greeting would lead us to become closer. All this time, no
matter how old I am, through thick and thin, you've always been by my side like family, a
brother, and... everything."

Silence envelops us all, so deafening that all we can hear is Faifah's voice and her sincere gaze,
her unique self like no other.

"You said you wanted to spend as much time with your friends as possible in this life, to
have fun and do everything together. One day, that changed. You no longer centered your
life around your friends only because you found someone so important to you."

"..."

"I remember that night very well... On November 15th, with that big smile, you told us you'd
found that person, that person you wanted to be with, that person you wanted to introduce
us to. Even if change scares you, one thing stays the same. You never go anywhere. You
never leave your friends, your family, or the person you love."

"..."

"I'm so proud that you're my brother, and congratulations to the bride and groom for
finding someone they look forward to sharing every moment with."

Faifah silently descends from the stage, her words lingering in our hearts.
minds.

I notice Nop wiping away tears before her large group of friends, including Faifah, gather for a
group hug. I'm so lucky to be able to meet them.
They made me appreciate the existence of the people around me.

With tears in my eyes at the thought, I wipe my face with a handkerchief.

The memorable moment lasts only a few seconds. After the emotional speech, the atmosphere
suddenly changes.

"Wine."

"Yes?" I reply, turning to Kun, who has just moved into the chair next to me.

"Do you think the man who just gave a wonderful speech and the man dancing in front of
the stage right now are the same person?"

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Tell me. I can't even believe what I'm seeing.

Faifah looked charming and angelic when she first stepped onto the stage. But now that she's
in front of the stage, she's dancing so wildly that her shoes are flying off.

"I think we should let him vent."

"Hey, where are all the singles?"

The singer excites us. It's the band that played at Bang-on-Pochana last time. I know they're
friends of Faifah, but I didn't expect them to work so well together, entertaining guests with
their songs and dances, even when the bride throws her bouquet.

"Woooooooooooo!!"

"It's crazy. The Godfather is something else."

"Her hips shaking are crazy."

Faifah stops only when Newton and Yotha pull him out.

CLINK!!

"Cheers! You can't go sober."

They said the after-party wouldn't be late. It's already nine o'clock, and there's no sign of it
ending anytime soon. They're drinking together nonstop, arms around each other's necks.
Even my best friends join in, unable to contain themselves. Only I watch everything from afar.

"Faifah's speech today was incredible."

"He was crying, as expected from my brother." Nop and Newton haven't finished praising
Faifah. This is the third time, and they haven't stopped.

"Come on, I already wrote the script beforehand."

That was her response. The last half may have been written, but the first, cheeky half definitely
came from her heart.

"Idiot, thank goodness you didn't say that."

"Anyway, didn't Nop really tell you he found the person he wanted to be with?" one of
them asks, and Mr. Bright is ready to enlighten them.

"Yeah, but it was a little different... ugh!" Uh... the groom's hand flies over Faifah's mouth.

Chaos breaks out. The eldest brother of the Thanawanyothas shouts in annoyance.

"Nope! What are you doing to my brother? Let him go. I'm curious."

"Can?"

"Say it! Let's go!"

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"He didn't approach her coldly with a killer smile like the male lead in a soap opera.
He was completely drunk and kept repeating how beautiful Faye was, so Yotha
dragged him to the doormat and slept on him."

"Fuck, our Nope." The guys burst out laughing. Some even roll on the floor, either
extremely amused or very drunk.

"You'd only known her for a few days and you were already thinking about getting married."

"Enough."

"Look, he didn't actually like the band he said he liked. He only said that to try to win
her over."

Nope has been exposed time and time again. To get revenge, he puts his arm around the
younger twin's neck and lifts his chin in a sign of superiority.

"Same as you, Fai. What band is Dept? At first you only liked one of their songs, but
then you started following them because your crush got hooked on their music."

"Shut your mouth!"

"Why would I do that if you exposed me? Let me tell you. He doesn't just listen to that song anymore.
"He's been listening to the whole album just to have something to talk about with his
crush."

"No, that's enough."

"Why would I do that, Faifah? My wife was running around trying to get you tickets
to the music festival in Nan because you kept complaining about them."

"..."

"I told him he could go to the one in Bangkok, but he turned away, disinterested,
saying he wanted to camp with someone."

Damn, what a plot twist.

I move further away from the circle. Faifah presses her lips together tightly, looks at me, and then looks down.
He looks pretty drunk now.

"Health!"

"You're dodging it. Very good. Cheers!"

What a mess!

In addition to all the secrets revealed, no challenge will be left untouched. The drinking game begins
chaotically, and they end up piling on each other like dogs outside a convenience store.

I shake my head at that. Yotha, the more sober one, offers to send them home, including
my friends and me. Instead of going to the dorm, he'll take us to Faifah's apartment because

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Jenjob and Benjie can barely keep their balance. The dorm supervisor will interrogate them.

"A flower for you." I wait for my mentor to return from ushering his friends to the same table,
not expecting the drunk guy who collapsed with the boyfriend to walk toward me with a daisy in
his hand.

"Where did you get it?"

"From the bouquet a girl received."

"Why?" I ask myself, confused. Maybe I'm too drunk to understand what he's saying.

"I want to give it to you. Do you have a problem?"

"Thank you," I accepted the flower and tugged at her wrist to make her sit. "Why aren't you
eating something? You haven't eaten properly all day."

"How do you know?"

"You were just drinking alcohol. If you get sick, it'll be a problem for everyone." I watched
him the whole time. After the desserts he brought me that afternoon, he didn't eat anything.

"I see you're worried. Is there anything left?"

"A lot."

I saved some in a box for him so he could microwave it later.

But now that you're sober and sane enough, I want you to eat immediately.

The tall boy, accepting my kindness, eats it.

"Your speech was great."

"Really?"

"A lot of people cried. Nope, too." Even I silently wiped away my tears. I wondered how he
could say something so beautiful. What a surprise.

"That's not what I wrote in the note. You told me to speak from the heart, and that's how it turned
out."

"Your relationship with him is beautiful."

"We have a bond."

I'm glad it was what he truly felt, without anyone twisting it. We witnessed his sense of humor,
his kind gaze, and the seriousness in his voice.

I used to question, fear and dread the instability of feelings.

It was as if I could easily change my mind and fall in love just because someone was nice to
me. Now I know that's not true.

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I've been treated well by many, but no one has ever captivated me like he did. The truth is
undeniable.

"Listening to your speech, I wonder what you think of the others, like Newton, Yotha, and
your friends. It must be wonderful."

"You'll hear my speech to Newton when I finally know how to love someone, but you'll
have to stay with me until then."

"Can?"

Can I be with you until then?

"Yeah."

Seeing Faifah gathering her cutlery, I grab a bottle of water, unscrew the cap, and hand it to her.
She takes it, drinks it in one gulp, and places it on the table.

"Do you want to know how I feel about you?"

"On what occasion?"

"I just want to tell you... That's all."

"I want to hear it," I admit, straightening my back and focusing on him.

"Ahem, ahem."

"Come on."

Faifah frowns and then adjusts her mood.

"Let's say we reunite after ten years, no matter what our status is, I assure you that my
feelings right now are not a lie."

I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for telling me the truth, regardless of how good
or bad you think about me.

"Whenever I recall my precious memories, you're one of the first people I think of. I suppose it's
because of our peculiar first meeting. You mistook me for Yotha."

Those words act like a time machine that takes me back to the moment we met.

"You impressed me at that moment, and I didn't know why. Maybe you were cute. Maybe
you were adorable when your eyes closed. Maybe it was your kindness. Maybe you
always agreed to go with me. Regardless, the clearest thing was that you were the first
person who cared about me."

"..."

"I don't know if you remember... That day, when the ice in my coffee melted, you asked
me for a new one. I may be a coffee to others, but can you believe that one cup of coffee
changed my thoughts?"

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"..."

"I brought a lot of friends over to my apartment and hired a maid because I was always messy. My
friends were messy too. But you washed my dishes and cleaned my room. When I was drunk, you put
up with my wild side and took off my shoes and socks without any qualms. Wine... you always point
out how nice I am without realizing how nice you are to me."

One thing is clear between us: our meeting made us grow.

I didn't improve because of myself, but because of those around me, and Faifah was among them.

"You know I feel terrible when people respond to my kindness with feelings I never want, right?"

I've been telling myself not to get carried away, not to be influenced by his words, or expect to be more than
just a brother.

However, it's not easy to constantly remind myself not to be too excited or too happy.

"But I don't feel that way with you."

"..."

"No matter what you feel for me, if you want to give it to me, I'll gladly take it."

And I have failed once again just because of your words.

Those words... are the sweetest thing I've ever heard.

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CHAPTER 13: FELLOWS SHIRTS

AND BEAUTIFUL CLOTH BAGS OF
ENGINEERING
Do you know that when you receive an electric shock, your ears will ring and you won't hear anything but
your thoughts? It's happening right now, after hearing Faifah's words. I wasn't prepared for this. I wasn't
prepared for a sudden attack. That's why this is happening.

I sit there, stunned, eyes as wide as possible, focusing on the man in front of me.

There's not a hint of humor in his gestures, which is a relief because he's not playing
with my feelings. Anyway, I'm not sure.
"You mean..."

Among the feelings you are willing to accept, is 'love' included?

It's not brotherly love, nor platonic love, nor general love for people, but something more,
something deeper... Lacking the courage to express it, I ask him in a less than direct way.

Hoping to get the answer I most want to hear.

THUD!
"F...Faifah..."

His head falls onto the table before I can say anything, scattering all my thoughts.

I'm dying to hear some sense for letting myself get carried away by his words. I've never
learned a lesson. He obviously said that while drunk. If he'd been sober, we wouldn't
even have sat together.

"Who's dead?"

Yotha's voice erases all my thoughts.

"There's a body here. He dropped dead just like that."

I look at the unconscious boy in front of me and sigh, with no choice but to keep the
feelings and words I heard tonight to myself and never touch them again.
I think Faifah won't remember what she said the next morning.

"So how many bodies are there?" asks the older twin brother.

"Three, including Faifah." And my best friends, J and Ben. I didn't expect something so crazy
to happen at someone else's wedding. Unbelievable.

"Okay. Let's help each other."

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My mentor says that, shakes his head tiredly and turns around to drag Kong and Kun to get
the drunk guy out of the place.

We're packed into the car like a can of sardines. Yotha is behind the wheel with Kun on
Kong's lap in the passenger seat. The backseat is a sight to behold. J is sprawled across
our thighs, with no room for him. Damn, if someone had a camera to capture this moment,
it would be unforgettable.

Being cramped is awful enough, but moving the kids into the apartment is a real problem.
We complain all the time.

"Ugh, fuck, it's so heavy. I almost died." Faifah is the last to be thrown onto the plush
living room rug, while Mr. Kongkiet curses in unison.
"What do we do now? Do we leave them here?"

"Why don't we take them to the bedroom?"

I suggest the idea and Yotha immediately argues.

"Faifah doesn't like anyone getting into her bed."

"But he let me sleep there once."

"Really? Why?" the three second-year students murmur in disbelief.

Why should I know? Faifah didn't seem unhappy or upset back then. He was even happy.
My mentor's comment makes me wonder why I'm the exception.

Maybe it was just for one night. Maybe I had showered. Or maybe it was just too much.
It's unfortunate that I'm being thrown out. Possible reasons flood my mind, and the result is
the same. I'll never know unless I ask him directly, but I can't do that now.

"Let's forget it. What do we do now?" I get to the point amidst the deathly silence.

"Let's put a mattress here. The couch looks uncomfortable."

Yotha organizes everything with Kong, Kun, and me to help him finish this as quickly as
possible. Considering their exhausted expressions, they could use a break.

We take a large mattress out of the closet, spread it out, put a sheet on it, and add some
pillows. Done. My two friends and I will sleep on the mattress, and Faifah will be in her bed.
The second-year students replace Faifah's uncomfortable clothes with more comfortable
ones, so I don't have to do much.

"Are you okay spending the night here?"

Yotha asks me again with worried eyes.

"Of course. Don't worry."

"I'm leaving then. Don't call me if you need anything."

"Hey?"

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"I'm going to bed."

"I am your apprentice."

"Take a shower and go to bed."

"Well."

The door is closed. I turn my gaze to my two best friends, who are fast asleep on the
mattress. We've gotten into all sorts of mischief together since we started our college
lives, through thick and thin.

I recently told Ben the truth. At first, I was afraid he wouldn't accept that I was gay, but it
turned out there was nothing to fear. That moment is still vivid in my mind. Ben threw
himself at me and hugged me with a pretentious sob.

It was funny and pitiful at the same time. I stayed still in his tight embrace as he cried with
joy instead of pain. I was happy that he thought it was important enough to tell him
something that required immense courage to speak about.

That's why, no matter how much time passes, for better or worse, they will be my best
friends with whom I want to share everything.

Okay, enough of the emotional part. I cover them with a blanket and check on Faifah in
her room to make sure she's sleeping well and is warm. Since she seems fine, I go to the
bathroom, take off my heavy suit, and take a quick shower.

Luckily, my toothbrush is still here. I use it and put my old T-shirt back on. Tomorrow,
when everyone wakes up, we'll go back to the dorm.

I leave the bathroom quietly and walk towards the tall boy, as if under a spell. My brain
convinces me that I must come here. To look at him, to say goodnight or whatever.
whatever.

"Good night"

Thanks for today, although I almost thought your last words at the wedding had been serious. At least I was
clearly drunk, which allowed me to figure out how to deal with these feelings.

"Wine."

Faifah's faint voice pulls me out of my train of thought. She frowns and tries to open her
eyes, but I quickly tell her bluntly.

"Go back to sleep if you're sleepy. Get some rest because you're drunk."

"Wine."

"I'll turn off the light."

"Wine..."

"That?"

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"Sleep with me," he whispers in a slightly pleading voice.

What do I do? I always lose to him, no matter how hard I try. My daily reminder not to
be influenced is fruitless because of you.

"I'll sleep with my friends outside. You'll feel more comfortable that way."

The tall man tugs at my wrist steadily before squeezing even tighter. Faifah quickly
opens her eyes, and we stare into each other's eyes.

"Sleep here."

"You smell like alcohol," Faifah pouts like a spoiled brat. Unable to say no to that
face, I give in. "Okay. Let me turn off the light first."

"Don't go. Stay here."

"Mischievous."

"You are naughty."

I turn off the light and go back to bed. Before I can get up, Faifah grabs me by the waist
and pulls me down onto the mattress, cradling me like a pillow. He buries his defined
face and sharp nose in my shoulder and falls asleep.

My eyes are wide open and I can't force them to close.

Tonight, I'm lying in his bed, cuddling with him, but he's not mine, and I'm not his special
someone. What will I do when you finally date someone? Will I be happy and smile at
your love? It's hard to imagine.

"Don't do this"
"..."

"Don't let me go."

I'm no good. The day the walls protecting my feelings crumble, I feel truly powerless,
unable to do anything but remind myself that everything is okay.

But it is terribly painful...

*****

"The annual festival was canceled as soon as you walked in, you son of a bitch."

"Oh, and why is it my fault?"

"You ruined my future, robbing me of my chance to find true love."

"Don't blame others for your own misfortune"

I'm arguing wearily with J just after we received bad news from the second-year students.

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Every year, the engineering department held a grand festival that lasted for years and
was hosted by different universities in succession, known as the "Engineers' Friendship
Festival."

The best part was that, in addition to being able to make new friends from various
colleges, the fascinating and exciting situations were as follows: dozens of our seniors
fell in love and developed lasting relationships. Some
Friends somehow fell in love after looking out for each other. Some competitors went
from being rivals to lovers.

Unfortunately, the festival was abruptly canceled this year. Some said it was due to a
conflict of interest between the city councils. Others said no one was willing to organize
the festival, hence the abrupt cancellation. Whatever the truth, the Engineers' Friendship
Festival will not take place this year.

"Boo, why don't they do it? Why don't they do it? Why don't they do it?"

Jenjob falls back onto his bed and writhes like a boiled worm.

"Shut your mouth, asshole. I'm sick of your nonsense."

"Hey! Did you hear?"

The door bursts open and Pae, our dear and legendary computer engineer friend, appears.

"About what, asshole? If it's about you communicating with the ghost in your
room, I'll pass," I say, fed up. My worldly problems are already problematic enough.
I'm not ready for spiritual ones.

"Come on, idiots. That's not what it's about."

"Just say it. Surprise us."

J jumps up and fixes his gaze on Pae in anticipation.

"The Engineers' Friendship Festival was canceled"

Ugh!

"We already knew it, damn it."

"The good news is that our department will be hosting a new event called
"Engineers Market" where we can participate and earn money.

"Wow! What an interesting development." J gets very dramatic and puts his hands on
his chest.

"Is it confirmed?"

I ask Pae to be sure. I don't want this to be just a dream like the love between Faifah and
me, ugh.

"Yes. I heard the sophomores will announce more information this Friday."

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"I'm looking forward to it."

A few days later, Pae is right. I have no idea if his spy is a human or a ghost because I've
been catching up on his hottest topics lately.
Now, those who felt miserable due to the cancellation of the Engineers' Friendship Festival
are getting their spirits back in preparation for the Engineers' Market.

The topic has been the focus of attention among engineering students throughout the day, whether in class,
during breaks, or at lunch. Our group is also discussing it.

"You know the sophomores are really doing their best? I heard they're opening a
full-service herbal juice stand. It's sure to attract customers," says Ben, our spy.

The second-year students said the Engineers' Market is a public event, so students from
other departments are encouraged to attend and support the booths, like Science Week.

We'll all have our own stands, freely managed by an unlimited number of people each,
with no need to draw lots to group together. We can group with whomever we want and
specify the number of participants we want.
In addition, we will be able to decide our own products.

In addition to the sales stands, there will be the academic stands for each year. This month, to conclude, in
addition to studying, we must plan to build the sales and academic stands for our programs.

"What should we do?"

"We have to go big," suggests Benjie, the most resourceful of us.

"As?"

"How about we sell rice dishes?"

"Ugh, look at yourself. You can't even eat your own food, yet you want to sell it,"
Jenjob mutters.

The three of us are doing the same stand, planning to sell something simple, although their
suggestions are anything but simple.

"What about accessories? Get some cheap ones to resell."

He continues and proposes the second idea right after the first rejection.

"It's not creative at all."

Please, I beg you.

"I think we should sell something related to our department. Students from other
departments will come. We should attract them."

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"What does 'engineering' say?" I ask. J, getting an idea, puffs out his chest and answers
proudly.

"Marigold garlands. Seniors often offer them to the

"sanctuary before an exam."

"And sweet red drinks."

Damn, how is that creative?

"Your ideas are crap." I stop them before they cause a disaster. After being rejected several
times, they frown at me.

"So what do you propose, my friend? Let's hear it."

"Frapes".

"Yes, yes."

"In engineering-printed cups"

"For the deans?"

"And that's not all. The straws will be engineered in color."

"Wine, listen." Benjie pats me on the shoulder and holds my gaze.

"It almost sounds good, but it sucks. Keep it to yourself."

"As if your ideas were good."

"They are."

"Cutie Wine~ Cutie JJ and Benjie~"

While we're brainstorming, an unwelcome guest appears behind me with a curious, smiling
face. Shouldn't he be with the other second-year students preparing activities?

"Where are you from?" I can't help but ask, extremely curious.

"Your heart."

"Nonsense."

"What are you guys doing?"

"We're thinking about what to sell at our stand."

"Oh, can I join?" His expression unsettles me.

"And what about your friends?"

Not only Kong and Kun but everyone in the department probably wants him to be in
their groups.

"Our opinions clashed, so I left myself." You can leave yourself, okay?
"Have you decided what to sell?"

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Faifah comes over and sits next to J, across from me.

"No. Do you have any ideas?"

"You're asking the right person. There's no one on campus as smart, brilliant, and creative as me." He
got it wrong because he said 'smart.' It's more like 'shrewd.'

"Will you stop praising yourself?"

"Will you stop being so cute, Wine? Wooooo!" He flirts and reacts on his own. It's crazy.

"I'll go first. Call me if you need anything."

"Hey, don't go. Why are you so grumpy?" Faifah grabs my wrist and manages to hold me back.

It's making me get carried away again when I can't even deal with what he said at the wedding. Please pity
me for once for having to repeatedly remind myself never to think of you as anything more than a brother.

"Are you going to get to the point?"

"That's harsh," Faifah looks at me silently and changes the subject. "I have a special idea.
We are going to sell sustainable products."

"Like what?"

"Cloth bags."

"Too much."

"Why aren't there too many such cute tote bags? They'll be limited editions, sold only here," we
thought without protest this time, listening carefully. "We can also sell T-shirts. I guarantee there will be
bestsellers." The tote bag idea isn't clear yet, and she's already adding T-shirts.

"That sounds great."

Oh, how weird must my friends be to agree with that? Benjie nods along with J's response. All expectations
are on me now.

"What do you think, Wine?"

"If my friends are okay, I have no problem."

"So, let's brainstorm a pattern." Mr. Bright's cheerfulness is annoying.

After a long brainstorming session, we decided to make a mangosteen bag!

"Why a mangosteen pattern?"

This is the brilliant idea after twenty minutes?

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