THE SOCIAL SELF

At birth, you cannot talk, walk, feed yourselves, or even protect yourself from harm. You know
nothing about the ways of your culture or society. Then, through interaction with other people
and your environment, you are developed into individuals who have knowledge of your culture –
you become participants of your society. This process of cultural molding, how individuals learn
the basic skills, values, beliefs, and behavior patterns of the society, is called socialization.

The Socialization Process

The following theories will help you understand how we become socialized and develop our
identity, or self.

1. JOHN LOCKE (1632-1704)

John Locke was an English philosopher who insisted that each newly born individual was a
tabula rasa – or clean slate, on which could be written just about anything. He claimed that you
are born without qualities. You develop your personality as a result of your experiences. The
basic assumptions about socialization are related to Locke’s views. Most sociologists think of
socialization as a process by which you absorb those aspects of your culture with which you
come into contact. Through the socialization process, you develop your social self. The social
self is the way that you see yourselves as a result of interacting with others. You begin to have a
sense of your own self from your daily interactions with other people.

2. CHARLES HORTON COOLEY (1864-1929)

Charles Horton Cooley was an American sociologist who developed the theory about the social
self. He observed that you only begin to have a sense of your own self – of who you are and what
you are like – after you notice how others see you.

According to Cooley, a newborn baby has no sense of person or place. Various people – parents,
brothers, sisters, other family members, and friends – interact with the baby. These people as
they relate to the baby provide the infant with a mirror that reflects the infant’s image. The image

14children.
reflected back is created during the interaction between the baby and the other people. This
theory puts a great deal of responsibility on parents and others who have contact with
They contribute to the child’s sense of ability or inability depending on the way they interact
with the child. He called his theory “the looking glass theory”. Social interaction
is a kind of looking glass that reflects yourself back to you – but only after you are
interpreted by those with whom you interact. According to Cooley, you are as other people see
you. You can only see yourselves only as others see you. And what they see is what you are. You
are continually changing your personality as you adjust your self-image to the way you are
viewed by the rest of society. How do you react when others see you differently from the way
you see yourself?
GEORGE HERBERT MEAD (1863-1931)

According to George Herbert Mead, seeing yourselves as others see you is only the beginning.

the other”. Mead believes that all of us come into contact with two kinds of people 15
Eventually, you not only come to see yourselves as others see you, but actually “take the role of
– “significant
others” – they are from your earlier contacts; people who are most important to you; they know
you and love you for what you are – parents, brothers and sisters, relatives, and close friends;
they are important to you because of who they are, rather than just for what they can do for you;
and “generalized others”.

h
a) Significant others and the I-self – from these relationships you develop the I-
t self. The I-self does not depend on your role or where you are. You may be in
class, in the mall shopping, with your friends, or working. You are something more than
what your role as a student, shopper, and so on indicates. It is subjective, or personal, and
entirely constant. You can act in a way that is not expected of someone in your role
because of your I-self. As you h
grow, you begin to expand beyond the significant
others of the family. When t you were kids, while playing the “bahay-bahayan”,
you realize that one can take the role of a mother or a father. At this point, you
begin to realize that there is more than one mother and one father. You see mothers and
fathers as “generalized others” – people or roles to whom you relate in a more abstract,
general way.

b) Generalized others and the me-self – in playing the game “bahay-bahayan”, each child
takes on not only his or her own role, but also the role of the other. The father must be
able to play (in his head) the role of mother as well. He must anticipate her responses and
understand her duties and expectations. Likewise, the mother also mentally plays the role
of the father. This can be seen in your role as a student, you relate to your teacher by
anticipating the kinds of responses your teacher is likely to make. Human interaction and
communication depend on the existence of many generalized others. The me-self is
directly related to a particular social situation. We have many me-selves as the number of
roles we occupy. It comes from our continual interaction with our social environment. It
is our objective social identity.

The I-Self and the Me-Self 16

I-Self Me-Self
The result of your subjective, private
Comes from your objective, social self
self (personal)
Self as subject Self as object
Self-expression Conformity

Subjective behavior, quite constant Objective behavior that is quite

 predictable
How you act according to the rules and
Your unique personal qualities, your
expectations of a specific role in a
individual impulses
given situation