Trauma Workbook

Trauma is a devastating experience and can affect every aspect of life. This workbook is designed to
address different areas that can contribute to or help manage the effects of trauma. By engaging with
these worksheets, you can take active steps toward better mental health and well-being.

Here is a brief introduction to each worksheet included in this package:

Identifying Trauma Triggers

This worksheet will guide you in identifying specific situations, people, places, or sensations that trigger traumatic
memories or responses. By recognizing these triggers, you can develop strategies to reduce their impact on your
daily life.

Nervous System Regulation

This worksheet helps you understand how emotions show up in your body and guides you in practicing techniques
to calm your nervous system. Regulating your nervous system can improve your emotional responses in challenging
situations.

Self-Care Inventory
Self-care is crucial for managing the effects of trauma. This worksheet will guide you in identifying and
implementing activities that nurture your physical, emotional, and mental well-being.

Cognitive Restructuring
Trauma can lead to negative thought patterns that significantly impact your well-being. This worksheet helps you
identify and challenge these negative thoughts, replacing them with more balanced and positive thoughts.

Setting SMART Goals

Goal-setting can provide direction and motivation, which can be challenging after experiencing trauma. The SMART
Goals worksheet makes it easier to achieve your objectives and build a sense of accomplishment and progress.

Personal Strengths Inventory

This worksheet guides you in identifying your unique strengths and talents. By focusing on your positive attributes,
you can boost your self-esteem and build a foundation for overcoming challenges associated with trauma.

Setting Healthy Boundaries

This worksheet helps you identify areas where you need to set or reinforce boundaries and provides strategies for
doing so effectively. Healthy boundaries can protect you from re-traumatization, reduce stress, improve your
relationships, and enhance your overall well-being.

Overcoming Shame
This worksheet provides tools to help you confront feelings of shame that developed after your trauma. By working
through self-reflection exercises, this worksheet guides you in identifying where shame arises and how it affects
your self-esteem.

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 Identifying Your Trauma Triggers
Trauma triggers refer to specific people, places, or other stimuli that remind you of past
traumatic experiences. Some triggers will be readily apparent to you, but others may be very
subtle and difficult to identify. Getting to know your triggers will help you to avoid them and
learn to cope with them in healthy ways.

You may already know some of your triggers. List them below:

Sounds

Sights

Smells

Emotions

Locations

Situations

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about managing trauma triggers.
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 Identifying Your Trauma Triggers
Tracking a specific trigger allows you to become more aware of the patterns surrounding it, giving
you insight into what sets off the reaction, why it feels overwhelming, and how it affects you. With
this information, you can start to practice coping strategies that directly address the specific
elements of the trigger. To get started, think of a recent experience where you felt triggered, and
map out the details of that situation to gain more clarity on its impact and meaning.

1 What was the situation?

Describe the setting, including where you were, who was there, and what was happening.

2 What emotions came up when you felt triggered?

Identify specific feelings, such as fear, anger, sadness, or shame.

What thoughts ran through your mind when the trigger occurred?
3
Note any specific thoughts, beliefs, or memories that surfaced in that moment.

4 How did your body respond physically?

Describe any physical reactions, such as a racing heart, muscle tension, sweating, or feeling cold or hot.

Were there people, sounds, smells, or sights involved that seemed to make the reaction stronger?
5
Look for specific sensory details that may have amplified the trigger.

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about managing trauma triggers.
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 Identifying Your Trauma Triggers
Looking for patterns in trauma triggers is helpful because it allows you to better understand
what situations, people, or feelings tend to bring up past distress. By identifying these patterns,
you can feel less overwhelmed by triggers when they arise, as you’ll begin to anticipate and
prepare for them.

Are there specific people, places, or environments that frequently make you feel distressed?

Do you notice any particular memories that often come up in these moments?

What thoughts go through your mind when you feel triggered?

Are there any early warning signs or cues that help you recognize when you're being triggered?

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about managing trauma triggers.
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 Identifying Your Trauma Triggers
To work through a trigger, it’s essential to remind our body that we’re not in danger, helping it to return to
a state of calm. By grounding ourselves in the present and assuring our body of safety, we can start to
rewire our response to triggers, gradually reducing their intensity and reclaiming control over how we feel
and react.

How can you remind yourself that you are safe when you’re experiencing a trigger?

Examples of Coping Strategies

To learn more about coping skills you can use, scan the QR code below.

Take some deep breaths. Try to inhale Do something that occupies your mind, like
through your nose for a count of 4, hold counting backward, drawing, playing a game,
your breath for a count of 7, and then or listening to music. This can help shift your
exhale slowly through your mouth for a focus away from the trigger and provide a
count of 8. Repeat 5 times. distraction.

Ground yourself with the 5-4-3-2-1 Gradually tense and then relax different
method. Identify 5 things you can see, 4 muscle groups in your body, from head to toe,
things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, to release physical tension and promote
2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can relaxation.
taste.
Remind yourself that you are safe and that
Picture a safe place in your mind—a place the trigger is only a reminder of the past, not a
where you feel calm and at ease. Visualize current threat. Repeat positive affirmations
yourself there and focus on the details of like, “I am safe,” or, “This will pass.”
this safe space.
If possible, go to a place where you feel
Carry an item like a small stone, piece of comfortable and secure. Sometimes a change
fabric, or bracelet that helps calm you when in environment can help you regain a sense of
you touch or look at it, reminding you of control.
comfort and stability.

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about managing trauma triggers.
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 Nervous System Regulation
Nervous system dysregulation occurs when your body becomes overwhelmed by chronic stress, trauma, or
emotional strain, causing it to get “stuck” in the extremes of high anxiety or a low-energy, shut-down state. This
can look like racing thoughts, difficulty sleeping, feeling jumpy, or even physical symptoms like a racing heart or
tense muscles. On the other hand, dysregulation can also manifest as exhaustion, numbness, or a sense of
disconnection from yourself or others. These signs show that your nervous system isn't balancing well between
states of alertness and rest.

Regulating your nervous system means finding ways to help your body feel calm, safe, and grounded, even in the
face of stress. It's about using techniques that help you shift out of states of high alert or shutdown and move
toward a place where you feel more stable and centered. By learning to regulate your nervous system, you can
improve your ability to cope with life's challenges, experience more emotional balance, and feel more connected to
yourself and others.

This worksheet will guide you in recognizing how your emotions show up as physical sensations, like tension,
fluttering, or heaviness. Understanding these sensations is the first step in managing stress and emotions more
effectively. You'll learn to tune into your body's signals and practice techniques to help calm or soothe these
responses, giving you tools to handle stress and emotional challenges in a healthier way.

Here’s an example of how emotions might be experienced in the body:

Headache
Eye twitch
Furrowed brow
Clenched jaw
Tears
Tight shoulders
Neck tension
Lump in throat
Unable to speak
Tightness in chest
Changes to breathing
(fast, shallow)
Heaviness
Knot in stomach Clenched fists
Nausea Fidgeting
Fluttering Sweaty palms
Feeling hot or cold

Muscle tension
Leg shaking

Clenched toes
Foot tapping

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exercises that can help you regulate and relax.
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 Nervous System Regulation

PART 1: Scan Your Body for Sensations

Starting with your feet and working your way up, notice any physical sensations. These can be
positive, neutral, or uncomfortable. There is no wrong answer. Just notice what you notice and write it
down. Here’s an example of how emotions might be experienced in the body.

Scan or click here to learn more about

exercises that can help you regulate and relax.
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 Nervous System Regulation
One way to regulate your nervous system is by addressing the physical sensations that come up when you
are feeling strong emotions. This could include changing your temperature, relaxing a muscle, or doing
something that feels soothing.

PART 2: Regulating the Nervous System

Now, what to do about it? When you’re feeling a difficult emotion, first notice what it feels like in your
body then try one of these techniques. Notice how you feel afterward.

If you notice this: Try this:

Clenched jaw Wiggle your jaw

back and forth

Furrowed brow Massage your forehead

Tight shoulders Scrunch your shoulders up by

your ears, then release

Feeliing hot Put an ice pack on the back of

your neck

Tightness in chest Take slow breaths with a long

exhale

Clenched fists Open and close your hands,

shake them out

Knot in stomach Try a heating pad or weighted

blanket

Restessness, tapping, fidgeting Move your body, go for a walk

Tightness in chest Sing or hum

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exercises that can help you regulate and relax.
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 Nervous System Regulation
Daily self-care for the nervous system is important for being able to cope with physical and
emotional responses to difficult situations. This means engaging in activities that help you feel
centered, grounded, present and calm on a daily basis. Stress, illness and even the pressures of
everyday life can dysregulate the nervous system, and these activities can help you move through
your emotions in a healthy way.

PART 3: Daily Nervous System Self-Care

Nurture your nervous system! Use this worksheet to help you rate how often
you do these practices, then add this list to your daily self-care routine.

Ranking

1 I rarely engage in this, and it is not a regular part of my routine.

2 I occasionally engage in this, but it is not consistent.

3 I regularly engage in this, and it is a frequent part of my routine.

I want to do this more frequently.

1 2 3 Nervous System Self-Care

Practice breathing including taking slow breaths with a long exhale

Move your body, stretch or go for a walk

Do 5 minutes of mindfulness meditation, simply noticing your senses

Tense and relax each muscle group in your body starting with the toes and working up

Take a break from screens and any over-stimulating media

Listen to soothing music or sounds

Take a warm bath or shower

Do aromatherapy with essential oils or a favorite candle

Spend time outdoors in nature

Drink a cup of comforting tea or another soothing ritual before bed

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exercises that can help you regulate and relax.
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 Nervous System Regulation
Journaling can be a powerful tool for building new habits that support nervous system regulation. It
allows you to explore which techniques or coping tools are most effective, so you can refine your
routine.

PART 4: Daily Reflection

Reflect on how you feel each day as you practice these techniques. Track the techniques you are
using, how effective they were, and any patterns of changes you have noticed. Create extra copies of
this page for each day of the week.

Which techniques did you use today?

Which technique was the most effective?

Which techniques were not effective and need to be adjusted?

Rate your nervous system

regulation today (1-10)

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exercises that can help you regulate and relax.
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 Self-Care for Trauma
Experiencing trauma can leave you feeling overwhelmed, vulnerable, and disconnected. Prioritizing self-care is a
crucial step in your healing journey, helping you to regain a sense of control, safety, and well-being. A self-care
routine is not one-size-fits-all but requires experimenting with different strategies to understand what works best
for you. This worksheet is designed to guide you through various self-care practices that can support your mental,
emotional, and physical health. Self-care is any technique that enhances your well-being and replenishes your
mind and body.

You will be asked to rank each activity on a scale from 1-3 to determine how well you are currently engaging in
these practices. After ranking, you can “star” the activities you would like to do more often. The goal of this
worksheet is to help you recognize the different types of self-care available to you, identify what you are doing
well, and pinpoint areas where you can improve to feel better overall.

Ranking

1 I rarely engage in this, and it is not a regular part of my routine.

2 I occasionally engage in this, but it is not consistent.

3 I regularly engage in this, and it is a frequent part of my routine.

I want to do this more frequently.

1 2 3 Physical Self-Care: Improving your physical health.

Engaging in regular physical activity such as walking, running, yoga, or strength training.

Ensuring you get enough restful sleep each night to rejuvenate your body.

Eating a balanced and nutritious diet, including plenty of fruits, vegetables, and grains.

Drinking enough water throughout the day to stay hydrated.

Maintaining good hygiene practices such as bathing, brushing teeth, and grooming.

Attending regular check-ups and following medical advice from healthcare professionals.

Taking time to relax and unwind, through activities like taking a bath and getting a massage.

Limiting or avoiding the use of alcohol, tobacco, and other substances.

Spending time outdoors in natural sunlight to enhance vitamin D levels and improve mood.

Paying attention to your body’s needs, such as stretching when tense or resting when tired.

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 Self-Care for Trauma
1 2 3 Emotional Self-Care: Processing & expressing your emotions.

Participating in activities you enjoy to boost your mood and provide a sense of fulfillment.

Spending time with friends and family to build support and reduce feelings of isolation.

Practicing mindfulness to stay present and manage negative thoughts.

Writing down thoughts and feelings to process emotions and gain insights.

Keeping a gratitude journal or reflecting on things you are thankful for.

Using positive affirmations to counter negative self-talk and build self-esteem.

Using music to relax, uplift your mood, or express your emotions.

Expressing your emotions through art, music, writing, or other creative outlets.

Set achievable goals and celebrate your progress, no matter how small.

Regular sessions with a therapist or counselor to explore and address emotional challenges.

1 2 3 Social Self-Care: Fostering & maintaining healthy relationships.

Spending time with people you like and make you feel good about yourself.

Asking for help from friends or family when you’re feeling down or overwhelmed.

Learning to say no and establishing boundaries to protect your emotional well-being.

Participating in support groups to gain insight and emotional support from others.

Participating in clubs or organizations that align with your interests to meet new people.

Giving your time to help others in your community to foster connection and purpose.

Going to social gatherings, parties, or community events to build your social network.

Scheduling regular get-togethers, such as a weekly coffee date, or a monthly dinner.

Actively listening when talking with others, which helps strengthen your relationships.

Scheduling intentional alone time with your romantic partner.

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 Self-Care for Trauma

Professional Self-Care: Maintaining a healthy work-life balance and

1 2 3
pursuing career development opportunities.

Clearly defining work hours and sticking to them to ensure a healthy work-life balance.

Stepping away from work to recharge, through daily short breaks and using vacation time.

Talking to a supervisor or HR about mental health challenges (if it feels safe).

Exploring available support options, such as employee assistance programs (EAP).

Organizing and prioritizing work tasks to manage workload effectively and reduce stress.

Ensuring your work environment is comfortable and conducive to productivity.

Establishing achievable work goals and celebrating small accomplishments.

Being kind to yourself during work and avoiding excessive self-criticism.

Building positive relationships with coworkers for mutual support and camaraderie.

1 2 3 Spiritual Self-Care: Nurturing your spirit and providing purpose.

Practicing meditation to connect with your inner self and find peace and clarity.

Engaging in prayer or other forms of communication with a higher power.

Spending time in nature to experience connection to the world around you.

Regularly reflecting on what you are thankful for to cultivate an appreciative mindset.

Reading inspirational books, scriptures, or quotes to uplift and inspire your spirit.

Participating in spiritual or religious community activities.

Engaging in artistic activities, such as painting, music, or writing.

Performing acts of kindness and service to others, fostering a sense of purpose.

Acting in accordance with your morals to create a sense of integrity in your life.

Spending time with the people who give your life meaning.

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 Cognitive Restructuring
Cognitive restructuring is a CBT technique that involves recognizing negative and unhelpful
thoughts, examining the evidence for and against these thoughts, and developing more helpful
alternative thoughts. For someone who has experienced trauma, cognitive restructuring can help
interrupt and change the negative thought patterns that contribute to feelings of fear, helplessness,
or anxiety.

Here is an example of how a

NEGATIVE negative thought causes negative
THOUGHTS emotions and behaviors. Using
What you think cognitive restructuring to change
Example: I'm not the thoughts can change the
safe. Something bad is
going to happen.
emotions and behaviors.

Triggering
Event
Smelling the
NEGATIVE perpetrator’s NEGATIVE
BEHAVIOR cologne EMOTIONS
What you do What you feel
Example: Leave the area
immediately and avoid the
Example: I feel afraid and
panicky.
BALANCED
person going forward. THOUGHTS
What you think
Example: This is just a
scent. I am safe now and
in a different place.

If you have a balanced Triggering

thought following a triggering Event
event, balanced emotions and Smelling the
behaviors follow. Those BALANCE perpetrator’s BALANCED
balanced behaviors lead to BEHAVIOR cologne
EMOTIONS
more balanced thoughts, and What you do What you feel
the positive cycle continues. Example: Stay in the area Example: I feel anxious but
and continue enjoying the reassured and confident I can
activity. handle it.

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 Cognitive Restructuring
THOUGHT EMOTION BEHAVIOR
What you think in a situation How you feel How you handle the situation
Ex: I’m not safe. Ex: I feel afraid and panicky. Ex: Leave immediately and
avoid it going forward.

It’s important to understand that our automatic thoughts affect our feelings and influence our behavior.
You can recognize unhealthy thought patterns that are making your trauma symptoms worse by practicing
cognitive restructuring. Use the questions below each time you’re experiencing unwanted thoughts that lead
to unhealthy behaviors.

Thought:

Is my thought
factual?

What evidence
do I have to
support my
thought?

What would
someone else
say about the
situation?

Is it possible to
view this
situation
differently?

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14
 Setting SMART Goals
SMART Goals is a structured goal-setting method that helps individuals create clear, actionable objectives. Trauma can
disrupt a person's sense of control and ability to manage daily tasks, and SMART Goals can help by breaking down
larger tasks into manageable, concrete steps. By achieving these smaller, manageable goals, individuals can experience a
sense of accomplishment and progress, which is crucial for rebuilding confidence and a sense of control.

What is your goal? Write down exactly what you want to achieve. Be

S
clear and detailed about what you expect to accomplish.

Example: I want to improve my ability to sleep through the night without waking up from
Specific nightmares. To do this, I will establish a calming bedtime routine and practice relaxation
techniques to reduce the occurrence of nightmares.

How will you measure your progress? Determine how you will track

M
your progress and know when you have achieved your goal.

I will track the number of nights I sleep through without waking up from nightmares each
Measurable week.

Is your goal realistic? What steps can you take to make your goal

A
achievable? Break down your goal into smaller, manageable tasks.

Week 1-2: I will set a consistent bedtime and wake-up time. I will create a pre-sleep routine
Achievable that includes calming activities
Week 3-4: I will integrate deep breathing exercises into my bedtime routine.
Week 9-12: I will add other calming activities, such as gentle yoga or guided imagery.

R
Does this goal align with your broader objectives? Ensure that your
goal is relevant and meaningful to your overall life or career goals.
Reflect on the value and impact of achieving this goal.
Relevant
Improving my sleep quality is important because better rest can help reduce anxiety,
improve mood, and enhance my ability to cope with trauma.

T
What is your deadline for achieving this goal? Set a specific date by
which you plan to achieve your goal. Identify immediate actions you
can take to begin your progress.
Time-Bound
I will practice these techniques over the next three months, aiming to experience a
noticeable reduction in nightmares within this period.

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tips for setting achievable goals: 15
 Setting SMART Goals
What is your goal?

S Specific

How will you measure your progress?

M Measurable

Is your goal realistic?

A Achievable

Does this goal align with your broader objective?

R Relevant

What is your deadline for achieving this goal?

T Time-Bound

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tips for setting achievable goals: 16
 Setting SMART Goals

Be Flexible Celebrate Milestones

If you're struggling to reach a goal, don't be Reward yourself for every step or milestone
afraid to adjust it. It’s okay to change the you reach, no matter how small. This could be
timeline, make the goal smaller, or alter the as simple as taking a break, enjoying a favorite
steps as needed. treat, or planning a fun activity.

Give Yourself Enough Time Stay Patient & Be Kind to Yourself

Make sure you have enough time to achieve
Progress may be slow, and setbacks can
your goals without feeling overwhelmed. It's
happen. Remind yourself that change takes
better to allow extra time and feel
time, and be kind to yourself if things don't go
accomplished than to set an unrealistic
perfectly.
deadline and feel discouraged.

What obstacles have I encountered, and how have I handled them?

What progress have I made so far? What am I proud of?

What support or resources might help me continue making progress?

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tips for setting achievable goals: 17
 Personal Strengths Inventory

Individuals who have experienced trauma are often prone to self-criticism because trauma can
distort your self-perception and lead to feelings of guilt, shame, and worthlessness. If you constantly
talk to yourself in a negative manner, you can create a cycle of negativity, where you become overly
focused on your perceived flaws and failures, which can prevent personal growth.

Creating a personal strengths inventory can be a powerful tool to combat self-criticism and
negative self-talk. By identifying and acknowledging your inherent strengths, such as resilience,
courage, and adaptability, you can shift your focus from your perceived weaknesses to your positive
attributes. Recognizing and celebrating your strengths can boost your self-confidence, reduce the
impact of negative self-talk, and promote a healthier, more resilient mindset, aiding in your recovery
from trauma.

PART 1: Discovering Your Strengths

Take some time to read through the list of attributes carefully and circle at least
6 strengths that you believe apply to you.

Self-Control Confidence Flexibility Ambition

I manage my emotions I adapt to change, adjust I have a strong desire and
I believe in my abilities
and impulses, which my approach, and think determination to achieve
and have positive
allows me to make creatively in new success and accomplish
expectations of success.
thoughtful choices. situations. my goals.

Wisdom Creativity Curiosity Bravery

I use knowledge and I think outside the box I desire to to ask questions, I face fear, uncertainty, or
experience to make sound and generate original discover new things, and danger with determination
judgments and decisions. ideas. expand my knowledge. and resolve.

Fairness Forgiveness Gratitude Honesty

I let go of resentment and
I believe in just treatment, I appreciate and am I am truthful and
anger, choosing to
and that everyone has thankful for the positive sincere in my words
understand and move on
equal opportunities. aspects of life. and actions.
from a hurtful experience.

Scan or click here to learn more about

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overcoming your inner self-critic: 18
 Personal Strengths Inventory

Optimism Humility Humor Kindness

I expect the best possible I have a modest view of I have the ability to find I am caring,
outcome and believe in a my importance, which and share amusement, considerate, and desire
brighter future. allows me to learn from and create a lighter to help others.
others. perspective on challenges.

Patience Love of Learning Perseverance Open Mindedness

I stay composed while I have an enthusiasm for I am committed to see I am willing to consider
waiting or facing challenges, acquiring knowledge and things through, despite new ideas and
without getting frustrated skills, driven by a desire obstacles and setbacks. perspectives with
or giving up. for understanding. receptiveness.

Teamwork Social Awareness Spirituality Enthusiasm

I collaborate effectively I understand the I believe in a purpose or I have a zest and passion
with others to achieve a emotions, needs, and connection to something that fuels my excitement
shared goal. perspectives of others. larger than myself. and motivation.

Generosity Problem-Solving Dependability Authenticity

I give my time, resources, I am able to analyze I am reliable and others

I live and express myself
or skills to help others situations, identify can count on me to fulfill
genuinely, being true to
without expecting anything solutions, and overcome my commitments and
my values and beliefs.
in return. challenges effectively. responsibilities.

Adventurousness Assertiveness Independence Logic

I am eager to experience I am self-sufficient and I am able to think clearly

I communicate my needs,
new and exciting things, resourceful, taking and reach sound
wants, and opinions
with a sense of curiosity responsibility for my own conclusions based on
clearly and confidently.
and daring. well-being. reason and evidence.

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 Personal Strengths Inventory

PART 2: Applying Your Strengths to Relationships

Use the prompts to explore how you currently use your strengths in your romantic relationship(s), friendships,
and family. Then, discover how you can apply your strengths in new ways to achieve relational growth.

Lists the strengths you possess that help you in your relationships

Lists the astrengths

Describe you possess
specific time that help
your strengths youable
were achieve personal
to help fulfillment
your relationships

Lists the strengths

Describe a specific
two you possess
new ways
time you that
yourcould help
strengths
use you
your
were achieve
strengths
able personal
to help
to help fulfillment
youryou
relationships
in your relationships

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 Personal Strengths Inventory

PART 3: Applying Your Strengths to Your Profession

Use the prompts to explore how you currently use your strengths in your professional endeavors (at work
or school). Then, discover how you can apply your strengths in new ways to achieve professional growth.

Lists the strengths you possess that help you in your profession

Describe
Lists a specific you
the strengths timepossess
your strengths
that helpwere
you able to help
achieve your profession
personal fulfillment

Lists the strengths

Describe a specific
two you possess
new ways
time you that
yourcould help
strengths
use you
your
were achieve
strengths
able personal
to help
to help fulfillment
youryou
profession
in your profession

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overcoming your inner self-critic: 21
 Personal Strengths Inventory

PART 4: Applying Your Strengths to Achieve Personal Fulfillment

Use the prompts to explore how you currently use your strengths to increase your sense of purpose and
enjoyment. Then, discover how you can apply your strengths in new ways to achieve personal growth.

Lists the strengths you possess that help you achieve personal fulfillment

Lists the strengths

Describe a2 specific
new ways you
time possess
youyour
could that help
strengths you able
were
use your achieve
strengths personal
totohelp
helpyou fulfillment
youwith
withpersonal
personalfulfillment
fulfillment

Describe two new ways you could use your strengths to help you with personal fulfillment

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 How to Set Healthy Boundaries
Setting boundaries can be particularly difficult for someone who has experienced trauma, as trauma can
erode your sense of self-worth and make you fear rejection or conflict. This worksheet is designed to help
you understand and set healthy boundaries in your relationships and daily life. By identifying your needs
and limits, you can regain a sense of control and safety, which are crucial for your healing process.

PART 1: Visualize Your Boundaries

Inside the circle, write everything that makes you feel relaxed and safe. On the outside of the circle,
write down anything or anyone that makes you feel stressed, uncomfortable, or unsafe. These are
people or situations that are pushing your boundaries and need further attention. (Example page.)

Outer Circle

Example: Interacting with a neighbor who

often stops by unannounced and expects me
to drop everything to talk

During family gatherings, my cousin

makes dismissive comments about my Inner Circle
need for therapy Engaging in conversations
that turn into heated
debates about about politics
or social issues
Following a morning routine that includes 10 minutes
of meditation and a cup of herbal tea

Family reunions with many

relatives I rarely see make me Meeting up with Sarah for weekly
anxious, as I struggle with the coffee dates
noise and constant Being at home with my dog, Max
Seeing graphic news reports
interactions
or violent scenes
Attending therapy sessions with my therapist, Dr. Kim

Every Sunday evening, I set aside an hour for a

relaxing bath, which helps me unwind
My boss’s public
criticism during
meetings leaves me Being in crowded and noisy
feeling humiliated and environments like shopping malls
defensive or concerts

My friend's late-night calls disrupt my

sleep and leave me feeling
overwhelmed and drained by their
constant venting

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setting healthy boundaries. 23
 How to Set Healthy Boundaries
When filling out your inner and outer circle, here are some questions to consider:

What is currently causing me stress or unease?

What am I excited about each day?
What do I find myself dreading each day?
Who or what energizes and uplifts me?
Who or what leaves me feeling drained and exhausted?
Who or what helps me feel safe, supported, and valued?

Outer Circle

Inner Circle

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 How to Set Healthy Boundaries

PART 2: How to Communicate Your Boundaries

Here are some basic rules and examples for communicating your boundaries effectively.

Use Confident Body Language Be Clear & Set Consequences

Stand or sit up straight, maintain eye contact, and Be specific about what behavior you want to
use firm but calm gestures to convey confidence change and clearly state what will happen if your
and assertiveness. boundary is not respected.

Keep Your Tone Calm and Respectful: Practice Active Listening:

Speak calmly and assertively, avoiding raised Listen to the other person's response without
voices or aggressive tones to maintain a respectful interrupting and acknowledge their perspective
atmosphere. while staying firm on your boundary.

Physical Emotional Interpersonal

Boundaries Boundaries Boundaries

“Please give me some physical "I feel overwhelmed and need "I feel uncomfortable with this

space” to take a break from this behavior and need it to stop."

"I am not comfortable with conversation." "I need you to respect my

being touched right now." "I'm not comfortable decision."

"I need to step away for a discussing this right now." "I am not okay with how you

moment." "I appreciate your concern, spoke to me."

"I prefer to keep a bit of but I need some time to "Please do not involve me in

distance, thank you." process my feelings alone." this situation."

"I would appreciate it if you "Please respect my feelings on "I need clarity and honesty in

didn't stand so close." this matter." our communication."

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 How to Set Healthy Boundaries
PART 3: Develop Strategies for Maintaining Boundaries
Use the following prompts to create a plan for reinforcing your boundaries
consistently and effectively. (Example page.)

Situation:

Example: My sister, who lives nearby, frequently drops by unannounced. Her unexpected visits often disrupt my

personal time and the quiet environment I need to relax and recharge after work. Last week, she came over right

when I was about to start a long-awaited self-care routine, and it completely threw off my evening.

Boundary I will set:

I will have a conversation with my sister to let her know that I need my home to be a space where I can relax and unwind

without unexpected interruptions. I will ask her to call or text me before coming over to ensure it's a good time. I will

emphasize that I still want to spend time with her but need to plan our visits in advance.

Any potential challenges:

My sister might feel hurt or think that she is not welcome anymore. She may perceive my request as a sign that I don't

enjoy her company or that our relationship is less important to me. Additionally, she might not understand why this

change is necessary if she feels that her visits haven't been a problem in the past.

How I will handle these challenges:

During our conversation, I will explain to my sister that her visits are important to me and that I value our time together. I

will let her know that my request for advance notice allows me to take care of my mental health and personal needs. I will

suggest specific times that work better for me. For example, I could say, "I really enjoy our time together and want to

make sure I am fully present when we hang out. Could you call or text me before coming over to make sure it's a good

time? I usually have more free time on Saturdays or after 6 PM on weekdays."

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 How to Set Healthy Boundaries
PART 3: Develop Strategies for Maintaining Boundaries
Use the following prompts to create a plan for reinforcing your boundaries
consistently and effectively.

Situation:

Boundary I will set:

Any potential challenges:

How I will handle these challenges:

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 Overcoming Shame
Trauma can leave deep marks on how we see ourselves, often creating feelings of shame that can be
hard to escape. This shame can come from the idea that we’re somehow at fault for what happened
or that we’re not worthy or good enough because of it. These feelings are a natural response to
trauma, but they can keep us stuck, making it harder to heal and feel good about ourselves.

Overcoming this kind of shame is an important step in moving forward. By learning to notice and
challenge these beliefs, we can start to see ourselves with more kindness and care. Through creative
exercises like drawing your "shame monster" and practicing self-compassion, this worksheet will guide
you in exploring feelings of shame and finding healthier ways to cope.

PART 1: Identify Shame

Understanding what shame looks, sounds, and feels like for you is a first step toward healing.

What does shame look like for you?

Is there a particular facial expression or posture you associate with feeling ashamed?

What actions or behaviors do you engage in when you feel shame (e.g., withdrawing, avoiding eye contact)?

What does shame sound like for you?

What are the critical thoughts or phrases that go through your mind when you
feel ashamed (e.g., "I'm not good enough," "Why can't I get it together?")?

Do you hear a particular voice (e.g., your own, a parent's, a teacher's) when you experience shame?

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 Overcoming Shame
What does shame feel like for you?

How does shame manifest in your body (e.g., tightness in the chest, heaviness, a pit in your stomach)?

How does it affect your energy levels (e.g., feeling drained, wanting to hide)?

PART 2: Draw Your Shame Monster

Drawing your shame monster can help you visualize this emotion
and see it as something separate from yourself.

Grab some markers, pencils, stickers, or any other art supplies you have one hand. On the blank space
provided, draw what your shame monster looks like. It doesn’t need to be a perfect drawing; the goal is to
capture how you perceive your shame. Think about what colors, shapes, and features represent your
shame. Is it big or small? Does it have a voice? Is it looming or hidden?

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 Overcoming Shame

PART 3: Journal Questions for Reflection

Journaling can be a powerful tool for processing emotions and shifting your
perspective. If journaling feels overwhelming, try setting a timer for maybe 10
minutes, and come back to this part as needed.

What triggers my feelings of shame the most?

How does shame impact my daily life and self-esteem?

What can I do to show myself more compassion when I feel ashamed?

How can I think about my trauma in a way that helps me feel less ashamed?

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30
 Overcoming Shame
PART 4: Practicing Self-Compassion
Shame often thrives when we are too hard on ourselves. Self-compassion is about treating
ourselves with the same kindness and understanding that we would offer a friend.

Replace self-critical Use gentle physical Journal your thoughts

thoughts with touch to comfort and and feelings with a focus
compassionate ones. soothe yourself. on self-compassion.

Observe your thoughts Speak to yourself with Practice gratitude, focusing

and feelings the same kindness as on what you appreciate
without judgment. you would a friend. about yourself.

Pamper yourself with Surround yourself with Protect your well-being by

some over the people and animals setting boundaries - say no
top self-care who love you when you need to.

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 Overcoming Shame

PART 5: Positive Affirmations & Mantras

Positive affirmations and mantras can be used to counteract shameful thoughts.
Circle one or two that resonate and repeat them daily.

1. I am enough just as I am.

2. I am learning to love and accept myself.

3. Mistakes are a natural part of growth.

4. I am worthy of compassion and understanding.

5. I did my best today, and that’s enough.

6.

7.

PART 6: Action Plan

Write down four steps you can take when you notice shame arising. Make the action
plan as specific as possible, keeping in mind where you are and what is available to you.

Situation #1:

Self-Compassion Practices:

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 Overcoming Shame
Situation #2:

Self-Compassion Practices:

Situation #3:

Self-Compassion Practices:

Situation #4:

Self-Compassion Practices:

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