This is my elevator pitch, what I say when people ask what my book is about, and I think it sums

up what I want to say in an efficient way. Maybe this could to be a across the top of the home
page or somewhere important.

AN APPEAL TO MEN TO HELP SHAKE UP THE PATRIARCHAL SYSTEM

Another important piece of information from the book.

Patriarchy means control by men of a disproportionately large share of power.

Also, I was thinking that there could be clips that speak to specific chapters. I’m breaking them
down here. Let me know if you think it’s necessary to connect them to the chapters. Also, some
of them lend themselves more to audio (maybe the longer ones), we can choose which ones those
will be. Your feedback is welcome.

Chapter 1: Man, Male, or Macho

When someone says, "He's a real man," the image that comes to mind is positive and has little to
do with physical strength.”

“…being a "real man" is synonymous with being a "modern man.”

There’s a lot of confusion around the term "macho." Some men believe they must be macho to
be real men…”

“…Although it’s true that even some women think they like macho men. Ladies, you’re just
confused about the definition of that term.”

“Patriarchal conditioning begins at birth, teaching boys that they are more important than girls.”

“I often use romantic/domestic relationship scenarios to illustrate steps you can take to create a
better rapport with your women partners at home and hence, on the world stage.”

Chapter 2: Ask a Woman

“Millennial women do not believe that society has reached a point where men and women have
equal opportunities for achievement, but millennial men do.”

“Prioritizing women has a proven track record of helping nations in the areas of peacebuilding,
stability, conflict resolution, and economic growth.”

“On the surface, the exhortation to approach life like a bull seems to work, since men do rule the
world. But how well are we doing as a world? As a society?”
“A report from the McKinsey Global Institute found that “…true gender equality everywhere
would raise global gross domestic product by up to $28 trillion.” (NYT, 9/25/23)”

Chapter 3: Generalizations

“I admit that this book contains plenty of generalizations about men. Yet here I am urging you to
stop making sweeping assumptions about women. Why ? Because this book explores how the
patriarchal system came to be and what enlightened men can do to rewire it—for their own
benefit, as well as ours.”

“Are there discernible differences between men and women? Of course. And those would seem
self-evident. But are they all as obvious as we assume?”

“Women experience hormonal fluctuations, (I’m in a bad mood!), but men have midlife crises
that send them to Ferrari dealerships when they can’t afford their Prius (I’m losing my mojo!).
This is all so silly. People have ups and downs—and yet, both men and women achieve
greatness.”

“Women love men for so many reasons. I mean, men often love women’s bodies just the way
they are even though most women wish they were 5-20 pounds thinner! You guys are awesome.”

Chapter 4: Love

“Love of self leads to recognition of the other, which leads to the well-being of us all.”

“We are the same! We are equal! When men acknowledge their equality with women, societies
flourish. Studies consistently show that gender equality benefits all of humanity.”

Chapter 5: Getting to a better place

“In most cultures around the world, men have been made to feel—from birth—that theirs is the
preferred gender. This belief, along with societal norms, are passed down from generation to
generation, becoming a part of tradition. And boy, do we love tradition!”

“…many modern men have an unconscious sense of superiority, believing their gender possesses
more intelligence, leadership ability, and authority. I call it the Authoritarian Urge.”

“A 2018 report from Uber, for example, revealed that more than 3,000 women were sexually
assaulted during Uber rides in a single year. Men who genuinely want to be part of the solution
are asking themselves: What is the psychological impulse behind this behavior? What is the root
cause of our dysfunction?”

“Authoritarianism is marching across the globe—but it doesn’t have to. If you wanted to, dear
friend, you could make it its death march.”

“Observe the unproductive traditions you hold dear, then create new ones.”

Chapter 6: Power

“…there’s power and then there’s abuse of power. If abuse of power is what you’re after, I
recommend you read Mein Kampf by Adolph Hitler. It’s available on Amazon.com!”

“So, what should one do with power? If the goal is power for power’s sake, that’s a perfect
example of the old patriarchal mindset at play. A better question is: How can this power be used
to improve not just my personal circumstances, but the larger world?”

“You change the dynamic by changing your mind about how you accumulate power and
choosing the right path once it is gained. What is the right path? One that enriches its pursuer, as
well as others along the way. Because sitting on your powerful throne all by yourself while
others struggle because of your actions (think the 1%), is a scenario we’ve tried before and look
where it’s gotten us. Right where we are today.”

“The patriarchal mindset sees violence as a solution.”

Chapter 7: How to Not Kill a Budding Relationship

“Here, I will illustrate the importance of nurturing a romantic relationship just as it begins to
flourish, even though this book is about getting to a better place by altering the way patriarchy
operates. Think of it as a metaphor for your budding relationship with women as equal partners
in the struggle to create a better world for you, your family, and the rest of us.”

“…while individual men may not feel like they are "ruling the world," the reality is that men
disproportionately hold positions of power. And their [well-intentioned but male-focused]
decisions trickle down to the individual level, reinforcing inequity.”

“This isn’t about men relinquishing power; it’s about redefining power as something shared, not
hoarded. Seeing it as a giving instead of giving something up.”

“Small changes in mindset lead to broader societal shifts.”

“It’s about embracing egalitarianism as essential to a better world.”

Chapter 9: How to Deal with Abortion

“…when men support women’s rights, society benefits.”

“This book is for men who want to create a better world—men like you—not those who wish to
uphold oppressive traditions.”

“A friend who read an early draft of this book asked if she could share it with a male friend for
feedback. When he asked what it was about, she said, ‘Reimagining the patriarchy.’ His
response? ‘I need that. I don't know where to begin!’”

“If a man is morally opposed to abortion, he should only have sex with women who share his
views, because sometimes in life, mistakes happen.”

Chapter 10: Mommy Issues?

“I’m convinced that, while still in sperm-state, guys got to check off a list of included features,
while in the egg-state, women did not. When faced with options like domestically able, most
sperm thought, Nah, I don’t need that. This is why I’m sure God is a man…”

“Men who want to help upend the patriarchy would be wise to heal themselves before they can
help fill the potholes that wreck the road to harmony and progress in their personal lives and, by
extension, in our fractured society.”

“Let’s face it, we all have some mommy issues, it’s inevitable. The level to which you allow
them to affect your life and the life of those around you is the key. Like raging alcoholics vs.
functioning alcoholics! It’s important to make sure you drag yourself out of the red zone.
Because men with mommy issues make for conflict-prone partnerships, tense office spaces, and
wacky leadership decisions. And we already have enough of those, don’t you think?”

Chapter 11: Rape

“I decided to include the issue of rape in this book because it is a perfect symbol for the ugly
failures of patriarchy.”

“While patriarchal attitudes rule, just as often, the repercussions can be devastating for men, as
well.”
“In many Middle Eastern cultures, when a woman is raped, it shames her, which is shocking and
infuriating; but it also shames the entire family, which includes fathers, brothers, uncles, and
brothers-in-law. How’s that patriarchal thinking working out for you guys?”

“The way men perceive women needs to change for the rape epidemic to stop, and for change to
happen in the world so we can all to get to a better place.”

“Rape just might be the ultimate illustration of the patriarchal order at work.”

“The way a woman dresses is not an invitation for violence. Reject any assertion otherwise. You
will have started to change the world.”

Chapter12: Aging

Maybe the better question to ask isn’t "What do I want to be?" but ‘How can I contribute to the
world?’"

“If we want a different outcome, we need to start asking different questions.”

“If people from all walks of life—the rich, the poor, the sick, and the lonely—can find peace, so
can you.”

“…use your singular talents to help fellow humans get to a better place, however that
opportunity presents itself. If you help only one person, it will give your life meaning, and it will
put you in a better mood!

Chapter 13: Birthdays

“I’m talking about birthdays here because they play a significant role in the success of
male/female relationships.

“In truth, remembering and celebrating birthdays is a metaphor for seeing the person in front of
you as another version of yourself. What wouldn’t you do for you?”

“Under no circumstances should a man ever buy his partner a household appliance, like a
vacuum—unless it comes with a note that says, ‘Happy Birthday! From now on, I’m taking over
the vacuuming!’”

“Birthdays and gift-giving might seem trivial, but they may be that invisible portal, which can
guide us into a better, more harmonious place and foundation for a new world. If you think that’s
hyped up, wishful thinking by someone who likes birthdays, you haven’t been paying attention.
This book is about transformation—step by step, little by little is how we get there.”
Chapter 14: How to Get Sex and/or a Life Partner

“As the book title suggests, getting to a better place requires men to challenge the patriarchal
mindset—to shake it up, turn it inside out, and view it from new angles. This chapter explores
how men can improve their sex lives and/or find a life partner while simultaneously dismantling
patriarchal thinking.

“If you think you already know what your partner is going to say, you’re only listening to
yourself—and that’s the least sexy thing on the planet.”

“Speaking and listening is an exchange of energy. It can be downright mystical.”

Chapter 15: #MeToo

“When it first gained traction, a lot of guys I know couldn’t stand the #MeToo movement, even
if they didn’t say so out loud. I could tell.”

“Many still feel that what was once dismissed as merely improper is now grist for being cuffed
and perp-walked into the waiting arms of all those criminals armed with a tube of lube!

I can hear a guy thinking this right now:

Well, that is true to some extent, don’t you think?

Well, no. I think that what used to pass for “improper” was always closer to harassment. Women
simply endured it in silence.”

“By the time she says stop once or twice, and especially if she has a look of horror or fear or
sadness on her face, or her eyes have turned to stone, just stop. Period. A man who pulls back in
that moment should take pride in his self-control. Overcoming sexual frustration in favor of
respecting another person’s boundaries is an act of maturity, not weakness. The stuff of heroes,
not animals.”

“Yes, there are instances that “back then” didn’t mean anything, it was just a boss
complimenting his employee all the time while leering. So what? Well, I know men who want to
run in the opposite direction when a woman who inspires zero interest tells them how great they
look all the time.”

“I don’t have any magical potions to make men feel better about what they see as women
whining and bitching about every little impropriety these days. All I can say is there’s no getting
to a better place with that mindset.”

“…it is centuries-old male behavior and attitudes which need to change, not women…”
“Treating your women partners as you would yourself is equivalent to being ¾ of the way to the
finish line—the finish line being a more equitable world for everyone, including the least among
us, which might include you.”

Chapter 16: Patronizing

Transformation is a heavy concept, but changing your inclinations is not. It can happen in the
blink of an eye. Or it may take on the contours of that famous quip about quitting smoking: It’s
easy to quit, I’ve done it a thousand times.

Chapter 17: Shhh

“There comes a time in every man’s life when he must master the art of being at ease with
silence. There are countless situations where saying nothing is the best course of action, but none
more so than when he is a passenger in a car driven by a woman.”

“The common tendency of men to believe they know best—and certainly more than women—
while in the car is a perfect microcosm of the way many men assume they know more than
women do in general.”

“It was only in 2018 that women in Saudi Arabia were granted the right to drive16 without
needing a man’s permission or presence in the car. And yet, the Arabian Peninsula did not erupt
into flames.”

Chapter 18: Saving the Planet

“The underrepresentation of women in politics needs to change because climate change affects
everyone; but men dominate policymaking, and so far, the crisis continues to escalate at a
terrifying pace.”

“Men are more likely to run for office than women, largely due to social encouragement… …
Encourage smart, community-minded women you know to run for office.”

“…if I had to choose between a pro-environment candidate who was anti-choice and a pro-
choice candidate who denied climate change, I’d be at a complete loss. But here’s the thing—
realistically, the chances of a pro-choice politician also being for burning the planet more are
incredibly slim. The bigger challenge is for lifelong Republican voters who suddenly realize that
conservative politicians are largely ignoring climate change. Holy shit! You have to vote for a
Democrat now??”
Chapter 19: Do We Still Need to Kill the Elephants?

“If some men today still wonder why they are being called to account for the ills of our world; if
they question why their self-created systems, etched in stone and steel, have failed while refusing
to acknowledge their role in constructing them; if they reject the concept of male supremacy—
then they must ask themselves this: Do we still need to kill the elephants?”

“The elephant quandary mirrors the active global breakdown of our essential societal needs and
interest in the common good…”

“Why frame environmental preservation as an either/or matter? Why does saving the planet have
to be controversial? Why must it be framed as the enemy of corporate interests or local
economies? It’s a fake way to present the issue. Forward-thinking people can come together to
find the answers.”

“Who slaughters some 30,000 elephants19 each year? That’s right—one every 15 minutes. It is
overwhelmingly men who poach, who kill for sport, who uphold a broken system…”

“The justifications for the maiming and killing of elephants are, themselves, indicative of a
broken system for which the men who created it have no solutions, and in fact, often fight to
maintain the status quo.”

“Throughout this book, I have posited that our dilemma starts with the patriarchal mindset or
hardboiled male culture. Change won’t be easy, but men already are and certainly can be agents
for change.”

“What will you do?”