Family Forum 2020

DOI: 10.25167/FF/1969

Stanisław Andrzej Sorys

Uniwersytet Papieski Jana Pawła II w
Krakowie https://orcid.org/0000-0002-1277-
6493

Transformation of family
ties

Abstract
The family and the family ties it creates shape the attitudes and behavior of a person who
grows in it. They also have a decisive influence on the character of the family that they
will start in the future. The values acquired in the family home will enable him to
build and strengthen family ties, largely based on his own and family experiences.
The context of the research was the modern family, which, despite the many
transforma- tions that have occurred within it as a result of cultural and civilization
changes, is still an inseparable element of human life, with a leading and leading role in
the development of a child, at the same time defining its worldview as an adult.
The aim of the research was to show the changes occurring within the mutual
relations between the family and the individual from the time perspective from the
period defined by the so-called “Late modernity” or “postmodern society” up to the
present (postmo- dernity). The author shows that the current shape of the family,
which many researchers refer to as its crisis or even collapse, is the result of a long
process involving changes in mu- tual obligations and at the same time the desire for
individual development of members of that family. This leads to the rejection of existing
forms and ties, the loss of traditional beliefs, knowledge and norms, and the creation of
a new type of social bond.
The scientific method was applied in the form of multi-station ethnography
(Marcus 2003), which is a method of conducting research in conditions of discontinuity
of cultural formations, when supra-local factors influence the situation in a given
locality, causing various “practices, anxieties and ambiguities” (Marcus 2003, p. 170).
The conclusions from this study were that the family, despite the weaknesses shown,
is still an important institution for the individual. It is also the only institution that is able
to defend an individual against negative aspects resulting from postmodernity. Therefore,
in the policy of the state, it is necessary and necessary to pay more attention to the
transfor- mations of the family bond in the constantly changing socio-cultural conditions,
in which the role of the traditional family is diminishing.
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Keywords: family, family ties, individualization, family

crisis.

Introduction

Family ties determine the essence of the family, its

durability and the satis- faction of being in the community,
which gives a sense of security and support. Ties create a
person’s attitude and behavior, their views on family,
marriage and parenthood.
Of course, I am referring to the family as an inalienable
element of the so- cial order which arose on the basis of
2000 years of Christian culture, under- stood in the spirit
of Aristotelianism, encompassing science and philosophy
(striving to know the truth), ethics, pragmatics (striving
for good) and aesthet- ics (learning about beauty and
showing it).
The nature of family ties is determined by the nature of
the family from which a person comes, the values and
upbringing derived from the family home. The modern
family, despite the many transformations that have taken
place within it (as a result of cultural and civilization
changes) is still an insep- arable element of human life.
Family ties, on the other hand, are what binds the
family from inside – to a greater or lesser extent. This is
evidenced of its stability and strength. Family bonds play a
leading role in the child’s development, then define their
worldview as an adult. The nature of the family and the
bonds it creates affect a young per- son’s entire life,
including their views on the family and parenthood.

Family – definition and essence

Family is the basic social cell, a form of organization of

human collectives that has always existed, multi-
functional and multi-tasking, primarily focused on
procreation and raising progeny. It is an integral part
of every society. It is strongly associated with the
biological properties of human species. Every human is
 Transformation of family 1
born in the family, grows up in the family, reaches
maturity and in- dependence, and at the end they start
family themselves. In fact, people func- tion all the time
in a family circle, hence the family is closest to them. It
has a natural, spontaneous character (Szacka 2008, 219).
Every person is strongly connected with the family.
People grow and raise in the family and usually set up
their own family over time. They identify with the family
as human beings and as its representatives. The family
is usually a reference group for them,
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because they co-create it, adopt the views, attitudes,

patterns of behavior cul- tivated in it (Tyszka 1993, 695).
Every society is made up of families, and families are its
building blocks. So- ciologists define the family as the first
and universal social institution, estab- lished in the
tradition of all cultures, characterized by ritualized set of
human activities focused on satisfying the essential needs
of its members (mainly sex- ual, reproductive,
socialization). Society is made up of families, and like
every body is made of cells (Szlendak 2010, 95).
The family is characterized by: spiritual bond
connecting members, a com- munity based on acts of
mutual help and care, real or supposed biological con-
nectivity, family and social tradition, common:
inhabitancy, surname, owner- ship, culture and biological
continuity (Adamski 2006, 306).
From the sociological point of view, the family is the
basic type of social group found in all types of societies,
formed by persons related to kinship, marriage, adoption,
living together and running a household, as well as rais-
ing children, participating in a given culture (Olechnicki
1997, 178).
Recapitulating the definitions of the family of the four
authors cited earlier, it can be stated that the family is a
social institution that simultaneously ful- fills the
following functions: emotional, sexual, material and
economic, pro- creation, socialization and education –
that is everything that makes up the essence and shape
of living together in a community.
Sociologists point out three aspects of the family:
• the family is a primary group, which is characterized
by relative stabil- ity, small size, personal character
of the bonds connecting its members, close and
frequent contacts,
• family members have specific social roles: mother,
father, spouse, child,
grandfather or relative,
• the family is a social, universal institution,
established in the tradition of many cultures,
focused on undertaking human activities aimed at
satisfying the needs of its members (Szlendak 2013,
 Transformation of family 1
313).
The family, although in our culture is associated with
marriage, it is not identical with it, even though it was
until recently. Cultural changes, especial- ly moral ones,
especially in liberal societies have changed the image of a
tradi- tional family. Until recently marriage was an
introduction to starting a family. Marriage is determined
by three basic “ingredients”: legitimacy of the rela-
tionship, priority of sexual access and reproduction.
Marriage is a socially sanctioned union. Family ties are
stronger than marriage ties. Bonds between spouses may
break down, while bonds between parents and children
and be- tween siblings are relatively stable (Szlendak
2010, 114).
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Typology of families in the traditional sense

Typology of the family usually coincides with the

typology of marriage. The diverse classification of families
testifies to the complexity of family problems and the
possibility of testing it for a specific course of
consideration. Although Anna Kwak, conducting research
on the family as a social group, notices that the modern
family more and more often becomes a relationship of
choice or a community of individuals, bringing their own
interests, plans, experiences to the relationship, while
being subject to various types of control and coer- cion –
however, for many Poles the family is still of great
importance (Kwak 2005,31). According to the
declarations of the respondents, among the most
important values that Poles follow in their own, family
happiness has invaria- bly been in the first place for
several years and is showing an upward trend. In the
CBOS survey from February 2019, more than three-quarters
of all respond- ents (80%) indicated them, i.e. exactly 2%
more than in 2013 (CBOS survey re- port No. 22/2019,
2019, 1–3).
In sociology, family and marriage are most often
analyzed together. Mar- riage is treated as a heterosexual
relationship, and has special significance in cultural and
historical-developmental terms. It was always related with
start- ing a family and raising children, although the
family was not always formed on the marriage of one man
and one woman.
Family types – division by marriage option:
• monogamy, where the basis is a nuclear family
consisting of a relation- ship between one man and
one woman and their children; it is two-gen- eration
type family with a reduced number of members; is
found in Western culture,
• polygamy, the type of marriage in which a
representative of one sex enters into a relationship
with at least two representatives of the other sex
(most commonly one man with many women) found
in primitive societies and today among some African
 Transformation of family 2
peoples or in Islam, where each man can have as
many wives as he wants, but not more than four,
and the main condition is to treat each of them
fairly,
• polyandria, which is a marriage system in which one
woman marries several men, most often brothers,
also occurs in small and hard to reach communities,
today it exist in villages in northwestern Nepal,
Alaska and in the Himalayas (Szlendak 2010, 118–
119).
Family types – division according to its size and number of members:
• small family – at least one adult, having parental
functions and at least one child,
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• large family – complex (based on sexual relations)

and kinship (based on kinship; Szlendak 2010, 17).
Within a monogamous family we can specify an extended, multi-generation-
al family – called large family. It usually consists of two or several nuclear
fam- ilies, subordinated to one family management. Such family consists of
several generations living together under one roof and recognizes the
patriarchal au- thority of the father of the family. It is a family type known in
historical socie- ties, although still found in African and Asian societies. In
addition, a modified extended family is also mentioned – it is a relationship of
nuclear families, part- ly dependent on each other. Their members exchange
services with each other and this distinguishes them from members of the
independent nuclear family. Nuclear families included in an extended
nuclear family retain their own eco- nomic independence, they can be spatially
dispersed, they lack the hierarchical structure of authority, while maintaining
the intensity of family ties (Adamski 2006, 308).
Division by relationship includes:
• full family – based on marriage, consisting of a
father, mother and chil- dren living in a shared
household,
• an “incomplete family”, which may be a pre-child
marriage, childless or post-parental, either mother
with a child or children or father with a child or with
children or children under the care of an adult
brother or sister; an incomplete family may be the
result of the death or depar- ture of one of the
spouses or the birth of illegitimate children (Tyszka
1993, 697).
Due to the nature of the source of income the family can be divided into:
• peasant family – the sole source of income is a farm
on which the house- mates work and the
responsibility lies with the host father,
• working-class family – the source of income is
income obtained from physical labor,
• craft family – the source of income is its own craft
business,
• intellectual family – usually functioning in an urban
environment, characterized by the nature of their
professional work (intellectual work), lifestyle and
participation in cultural life,
• rural family – both peasant, working-class and
intellectual, differing from the urban family by living
 Transformation of family 2
in a rural environment and using civi- lization
devices, organization of free time and lifestyle
(Adamski 2006, 308).
Within the above mentioned types of families, also other types of fami-
lies can be specified, e.g. a traditional peasant family, agricultural family,
2 Stanisław Andrzej

urban family of rural origin, small-town family, large-city family (Adamski

2006, 309).
In works in the field of sociology, journalism and
colloquialism, the term traditional family is used. It is
described as a family that has formed in most societies of
Judeo-Christian culture. A traditional family means a
family where the head of the family is a man who provides
it with material existence, wom- an’s tasks are
housework, childbirth and childcare, the center of life is
home, and the nature of the family depends on religion:
values, principles and norms, holidays celebrated
together (Szlendak 2013, 314).

Types of family ties

Family ties are connected with social ones. It is

impossible to define them separately, because one can
define the other. These bonds are the result of be- longing
to the family, determine the relationship between its
members, based on feelings, living together and
possible legal effects. These are most often in the
sphere of: care and assistance, meeting needs
(emotional, material), performing family roles and tasks
as part of the functions performed by the family. They
give the meaning and content of relationships between
members of a given family.
The situation of each family is conducive to the creation
of various types of bonds which reflect the nature of the
relationship between its members. Among others these
bonds are formal and informal, primary and secondary,
conditional and unconditional, single and multi-
dimensional. In the literature there are a number of
divisions of these ties. They are seen quite widely. The
simplest and most obvious ties include:
• kinship – origin from a biological ancestor, in a
straight or lateral line, and based on degrees of
kinship,
• affinity – the result of entering into marriage and the
bond between the
spouse and the relatives of the other spouse,
 Transformation of family 2
• relatives – closeness due to emotional intercourse;
they may be distant relatives or unrelated persons,
• marital status – strengthening family and social ties
through kinship and marriage, regulation of legal
status and human ties (Syczyński 2016, 5–9).
Zbigniew Tyszka assumed the functions of a family as the basis for the classi-
fication of family ties. He specified the following types of bonds:
2 Stanisław Andrzej

• economic – providing its members with various

material resources to meet and satisfy their age and
gender needs,
• protective – protection of children in relation to their
dependence and
other members who cannot deal with life difficulties,
• blood – kinship,
• sexual – regulation of sexual relations between the
spouses, procrea- tion,
• control – controlling the activities of its members by
organizing their lives, in accordance with the rules
and principles of conduct estab- lished by a given
society and enforced by the household,
• socialization and education – preparing children
for life in society by passing them norms and
behaviors aimed at the proper perfor- mance of
social roles; means the socialization of children by
par- ents, as well as the change of spouses’ behavior
under the influence of their children,
• cultural – a place where an individual gets
acquainted with the cultural heritage of society:
language, values, moral standards and norms,
• social – organization of free time, participation in
entertainment, lei- sure, introducing children to the
world of social relationships through contacts with
other people and controlling them,
• emotional and expressive – providing emotional
support, especially to children, meeting the need for
love (Brągiel 2009, s. 105).
A large number of types of bonds makes it necessary to identify those that
are characteristic and at the same time the most important for a modern family.
Leon Dyczewski detailed the universal bonds that occur in every type of family,
despite the progressive transformations of family. These are:
• structural and objective bond – intergenerational
contacts, as well as within generations, depending
on: family structure and roles played in it,
cooperation in fulfilling family functions, sharing
knowledge and help in raising children, caring for
other family members, helping each other, etc.,
• personal bond – emotional bond based on feelings,
attachment, sympa- thy, paternal and maternal love;
 Transformation of family 2
its contents are feelings, experiences, desires,
aspirations, attitudes and behavior towards
individual family members and specific actions
taken,
• cultural bond – relations between people in the
family, attitudes of family members towards specific
values, norms, traditions, behavior patterns, events,
cultural products, people, institutions; confessing
the
2 Stanisław Andrzej

same values and norms, behavior patterns, attitude

to culture, history, tradition, vision of the future
(Brągiel 2009, 116–117).
Family ties due to their multiplicity and diversity, are
characterized by a wide range in relation to individual
families and in relation to members of these families.
This is due to the family structure, the current situation
of the family, its specificity, the needs and requirements
of family members and types of contacts between
members based on the scale of accompanying feelings,
including love, attachment, sympathy and also duty.

Family ties – their building and strengthening

Ties bind every family, they affect its overall

atmosphere, build relation- ships and finally point to the
need to be together in the name of achieving common
goals, meeting various needs, both their own and other
family mem- bers. They are somehow the binder of the
family, because they determine its structure, its condition
and functioning, as well as the attitudes of its mem- bers
towards others in the family.
It is widely believed that the bonds are built on the
basis of values, norms and behavioral patterns
recognized and implemented in the family, result- ing
from both tradition and the parent educational
awareness. The ability to establish good relations
between parents and parents and children, whose
quality affects family life, plays an important role. These
relations should be characterized by: authenticity,
directness, equality, openness, respect for the other
person and self-respect, tolerance and the ability to
communicate (Do- niec 2011, 194).
Family ties are most often related to relationships
between spouses, spous- es and their children, including
already grown-up children, as well as an at- titude
towards older people in the family, including elderly
parents. Mutual relations between family members
significantly affect their lives, build and strengthen a
family bond. Depending on whether the family bond is
 Transformation of family 2
consistent or not, the family may develop or experience a
crisis. The nature of the bond is conditioned by emotions,
love, trust, the need to be together and support each
other, work – professional work and work to support the
family, fulfill- ing duties towards individual family
members, especially by caring for their living needs,
celebrating holidays and family celebrations. Cultural,
religious and related issues of upbringing in the family of
the young generation are not without significance here.
Relationships are established spontaneously just be-
cause of being in the family, making contacts with close
ones, and approaching
3 Stanisław Andrzej

the matters of family members. Family ties are strong

when family members are emotionally connected with
each other, have a positive attitude, are open to matters
of their relatives and are ready to help and sacrifice for
each oth- er. Such an attitude results from the
consolidation of these bonds as a result of growing in the
family and taking care of it in adulthood. However, it is
not easy, because the family is constantly changing due to
lifestyle, attitudes and beliefs, mutual relations, joint
matters and enterprises, personal, economic, socio-moral
conflicts.
It is very important for every family to create and
strengthen family ties, both in relation to close relatives,
as well as relatives and related persons. Fam- ily bonds,
especially between loved ones – parents and children are
built on personal relationships between them and through
being together. Contacts conducive to formation and
consolidation of family ties in everyday family life are
usually accompanied by conversation. It should not be
limited to exchang- ing information or analyzing facts, but
be a conversation about emotions, feel- ings, experiences
close to each family member. Conversation allows
everyone in the family to feel the love that other members
have for them, the trust they have for all members of the
household, and great kindness for each of them. The way
of communication influences the development of a family
bond or the lack of it. Families who find time for frequent
conversations and better under- standing of each other
create stronger and more lasting bonds. And opposite, in
families where there is a lack of time or willingness to
enter into a dialogue with each other, the family bond
loosens or even breaks. Family members who do not meet
their emotional needs in the family will be more likely to
expect to be heard outside the house and by other than
their relatives. In the case of adolescent children it may
be informal groups, sometimes subcultures or sects
(Maciejewska 2019).
Being together and conversations are accompanied by
“face-to-face” direct relations. Family bonds are built by
being around a common table together, every day and
 Transformation of family 3
during various family celebrations. Family members –
close or extended, gathered at one table while eating a
meal more willingly talk to each other, share their affairs
and thus know more about themselves, show interest in
the affairs of others. A shared meal integrates the family
and strengthens their relationships (Maciejewska 2019).
In the following subsection, I mainly refer to the
publication of Katarzyna Maciejewska “Ways of creating
and strengthening family ties” from 2019, because in my
opinion she presented her concept of functioning and
devel- opment of the family in a very broad and
harmonious way, which, of course, I fully agree with.
The ways of generating and strengthening family ties
3 Stanisław Andrzej

shown by her illustrate the great wealth and multitude of

all kinds of meth- ods available in the family, which can
play a key role in building great rela- tionships within the
family. What is also very important to me is the fact that
the author presents building a family on a healthy
foundation, i.e. based on the Catholic concept of the
family, where mutual, faithful and lasting love plays a key
role.
The family is also connected by work. By work done at
home for the family and also by the one outside the home,
but performed for the common good. Performing prosaic
activities such as washing dishes, cleaning the house,
shopping, cooking, baking or working on a plot creates
strong bonds that ce- ment the family. In such situations,
family members get to know each other better, present
their own skills and interests, and appreciate the
hardships of work – their own and also others. This leads to
learn respect for work in gen- eral and to appreciate the
work of others. Joint effort prevents disputes in the
family, relieves others, allows better organization of free
time of other fami- ly members. In an economic sense the
professional work of parents or other family members
allows others to appreciate their knowledge and
commitment to raise funds for better functioning of the
family or themselves. Professional work cannot obscure
family matters, be at the expense of family free time,
especially for minor children. Lack of time for parents for
themselves and for children can have a negative impact
on the entire educational process. Over- work, fatigue and
as a consequence a lack of parents’ time for their children
results in weakening of family ties (Maciejewska 2019).
Common leisure, whether at home or during holidays or
various forms of recreation, creates many opportunities
to strengthen family ties. The time spent together brings
family members closer, it also helps to get to know oth- er
family members better. Common leisure can be, for
example: trip, walk, outings, trips that give you
confidence in being in a community. They deepen the
family bond, because everyone in close relationship with
other members of their family feels psychological and
 Transformation of family 3
emotional contactwith them. These sit- uations allow the
family to get to know each other better. During close
contacts throughout the entire day, both positive and
negative matters may appear in the family, which family
members may not have paid attention to before or not
responded to properly (Maciejewska 2019).
Not without significance are conflicts in the family,
which through the bonds connecting its members, are
resolved. They are unavoidable, and they are caused by
divergence of opinions, positions, goals. Striving for
compromise usually leads to relieving tension in the
family, and thus rediscovering rela- tionships with each
other.
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Strengthening family ties is conducive to celebrate

family events, held in the closest family circle. It is a
way to show feelings: love and respect for your loved
ones, expressing gratitude and memory. Such
celebrations not only strengthen family ties, they are
also a great way to renew them if they were loosened
many years ago. Ceremonial meetings in the family circle,
especial- ly anniversaries and holidays not only
strengthen family ties, but also allow you to look at what
weakens these ties. The family is also integrated through
family tradition. Family habits strengthen the sense of
identity and belonging and are the result of the conscious
action of parents or other family members (Maciejewska
2019).
Family ties find expression in helping and supporting
other family mem- bers. They are felt most strongly in the
care of parents and children and chil- dren in relation to
their older parents. Love, respect, gratitude, a sense of
mor- al obligation towards loved ones is the result of
family upbringing in a specific culture. They are a carrier
of certain attitudes and behavior, produced and preserved
in the family and socially acceptable. Bonds in a
traditional family are in many cases characterized by
dedication and subordination to the com- mon good, both
in personal and economic terms.

Changes in the family at the beginning of the 21st century

American and European society of the second half of

the 20th century and the beginning of the 21st century is
described by some researchers as a society of “late
modernity” (Giddens 2008, 82), “postmodern society”
(Bauman 1995, 314) or “a society of risk”. These societies
differ from traditional lifestyles by the functioning of
institutions and patterns of everyday behavior. Compared
to previous eras, these societies are characterized by
dynamism, pace, range of changes affecting various
spheres of human life, especially family life. New values
(such as autonomy, self-development, personal happiness)
 Transformation of family 3
and mecha- nisms of “eradicating” existing social
relations, including those related with family, in local
and cultural contexts appear in the lives of societies and
indi- viduals. The current thinking is subject to revision.
Pluralism, universalism and constantly deepening
individualization change people’s thinking about
themselves, life and society. This leads to the rejection of
existing forms and bonds, the loss of traditional beliefs,
knowledge and norms, and the creation of a new kind of
social bond (Doniec 2011, 193).
The traditional family model was characterized by
patriarchy in the family, division of the world into a male
and female world, and the lack of fathers’ par-
3 Stanisław Andrzej

ticipation in raising children. In the family stood out: a

large variety of family roles, a large responsibility for the
family, a moral order to sacrifice for the family, the choice
of values in accordance with tradition, and a hierarchical
perception of the world and interpersonal relations.
Interpersonal relations took on a formal character, and on
their basis structural and object-related ties were formed.
The traditional family creates a strong structure in
difficult economic and living conditions.
The character of the family has changed – from
institutional to subordi- nate to humanistic content. A
traditional family had a custom that all family members
had to follow. They had clearly defined roles, as well as
the behaviors of family members towards each other.
Over time the family began to trans- form into a
relationship based on individualization and egalitarian
relations. This contributed to raising the rank of the
family in shaping personality, in meeting the
psychological needs of the individual. In modern families,
coop- eration resulting from the individualized attitudes
and aspirations of family members can be observed
(Tumidajewicz 2014, 218).
The model of a postmodern family, and previously a
modern one, is character- ized by leaving from a typical
traditional family society, for example from:
• a homogeneous family through a quasi-
heterogeneous family (modern family) towards a
heterogeneous family – in terms of models, role mod-
els, family behaviors, lifestyles (post-modern family),
• large and stable to small and unstable families
(modern family) and various types of family models
and consensual relationships (postmod- ern family),
• a family open to society to a family open to the
individual (increase in freedom, open role structure,
self-fulfillment, person-oriented rela- tionships;
Doniec 2011, 194).
Changes in family life were initiated in “Western”
societies. They were marked by two main trends. The
first concerned leaving from one form of family life, as it
was with the nuclear family, which was based on
 Transformation of family 3
marriage, in favor of the formation of many forms such as:
cohabitation, homosexu- al relationships, complex and
reconstructed families, “friendly” families. The second
trend indicates a transition from male domination in the
fami- ly, from the traditional division of work in the
family to the crystallization of “supra-gender” families,
for example those where a woman and a man perform
activities previously reserved for the opposite sex. This
also applies to the participation of men in the process of
raising children (Szlendak 2010, 395). The presented
directions of family changes point to deep changes in the
structure and relationships of the family, both marital
and parental, which
3 Stanisław Andrzej

affects other spheres of family life and the type and

nature of formed rela- tionships.
The global lifestyle revolution that took place within
marriage, family and personal life leads to a reflective
approach to life. This revolution created a democratic
family, where the attitude is freedom of individuals and
choice in terms of their own behavior. Modern family is
post-moralistic today, domi- nated by the autonomy of the
individual units, with a focus on the realization of their
own pleasures, which is associated with undertaking
sexual activity. A focus on intimacy in a modern family
is what sets it apart from the tradi- tional family.
The post-industrial revolution, which resulted from
economic and techno- logical changes, resulted in a
reduction in women’s dependence through pro- fessional
work, greater gender equality, postponing time of the first
pregnan- cy and the birth of the first child, and the
creation of double-income families. Partnership marriages
have been created, in which both parties work, and their
special signs of such relationship are compromise and
negotiation on various spheres of life. In such families
there is balancing of roles, people can realize their
personal freedom, and work together on compromises
(Szlendak 2010, 394).
The progressive loosening of family ties is associated
with the occurrence of most small two-generation
families. This applies especially to biological, economic,
legal, integration and emotional ties. This process is
visible in the family life cycle, where there are transitional
phases, crises and periods when someone leaves or
breaks family relations for some time. The reason for this
is the global lifestyle revolution, consumerism, the change
of male and female roles – “new fatherhood and
motherhood” and alternative family models. This causes a
different attitude towards family members, not even the
distant, but also to the closest one, also to seniors in the
family. At the same time, there are differences related to
maintaining family ties in the urban environment
(especially in greater urban areas) and the rural one,
which is still a mainstay of traditional family values and
 Transformation of family 3
where family ties are maintained, usually “in the old
style”.
The above-presented changes in the field of family life
models have shown a significant evolution of the family
from the traditional model to the post moralistic family,
dominated by the autonomy of the individual. However,
for me it is satisfying that for many Poles the model of the
traditional family is be- coming more and more important.
According to the declarations of the CBOS respondents
from February 2019, the share of those who consider a
large mul- tigenerational family as the best model
increased by 3 percentage points, and
4 Stanisław Andrzej

compared to 2008 it is as much as 6% (2008 – 26%, 2013 –

29%, 2019 – 32%). The report also clearly shows that the
group of people living in heterosexual in- formal
relationships decreased by half (2008 – 7%, 2013 – 6%, 2019
– 3%, while people who declared living in a homosexual
relationship are only 1% (CBOS survey report No. 22/2019,
2019, 1–3).
Therefore, despite many new cultural trends or changes
in the family mod- el, which are often perceived or
presented as common and negative phenom- ena, I
believe that the Polish family continues to be created and
functions on a solid foundation, having its source in the
entire cultural and religious heri- tage of the Polish
nation.

Causes of the crisis in the modern family

Loosening family ties in a modern family is caused on

the one hand by gen- erational changes against the
backdrop of civilization changes, on the other – by a
family crisis. When conservatives discuss the family crisis,
they point out that the low fertility of the family and the
instability of the marriage institu- tion. The traditional
decline of the family is caused by the fact that:
• family relationships based on kinship are weakening,
• families do not fulfill their functions towards the
society,
• societies no longer require the family because its
functions in the tra- ditional approach are not as
important for society as they were in the past,
• family members are less motivated to perform these
functions because in most cases they are appointed
by the institutions established for this purpose
(Szlendak 2010, 395).
The contemporary cause leading to the decline of the
role of the family is the decrease in the size and number
of nuclear families compared to all types of households
and the increasing percentage of people living outside the
fam- ily (Szlendak 2010, 379).
In turn, institutional reasons indicate that the family
 Transformation of family 4
is getting worse in such areas as: cohesion, fulfilling its
functions, and the power it has in rela- tion to other social
institutions. Individuals are becoming more autonomous,
individualized and detached from communities. The
modern family is coor- dinating the activities of their
members less and less, women are less depen- dent on
men because of professional work, and children are less
dependent on parents due to the developed education
system. Bonds between parents and children are
weakening as well as ties between parents themselves.
Also
4 Stanisław Andrzej

nowadays some functions of the family are fulfilled by

other specialized in- stitutions such as: kindergarten,
school, insurance company. Sometimes the family no
longer provides emotional support, and more often it
happens that emotional ties with unrelated people are
stronger than emotional ties with family members. It
should also be added that with the transition from the
countryside to the cities, families lost economic control
over their members, social and educational institutions
began to fulfill it. State with the help of its agencies
penetrates deeply into the family and controls it
(Szlendak 2010, 379).
Cultural reasons point to the weakening of
familocentrism in favor of such values as self-
improvement and egalitarianism. Cultural changes had an
im- pact on weakening faith in the family and
identification with the family, as well as weakening loyalty
to the family and the related provision of mutual as-
sistance. Continuity and persistence of the family are no
longer as important as it used to be. Sometimes family
members do not comply with the interests and good of the
family, or they do it occasionally (Szlendak 2010, 379).
Changes in family life that took place in the second
half of 20th century in Western countries revealed a
family crisis that was becoming increasingly present in
other countries. It should be mentioned that this is a
global phe- nomenon that awaits families in the modern
world. It is influenced by many factors, mainly related to
the greater expectation of adults and children to
improve their living and financial situation, the need to
achieve their own aspirations and dreams, lower ability
to resolve conflict situations, lack of re- sistance to
stress, etc.
Problems that cause a family crisis include:
• higher earnings of women in marriage often cause
dissatisfaction of the husband, leading to quarrels,
and this causes a disagreement between spouses
and can lead to divorce,
• women’s professional work and overloading with
household duties, which contributes to emotional
 Transformation of family 4
sphere disorders and interpersonal re- lations in the
family,
• helplessness in solving own life and financial
problems, relying on state
support,
• low level of parent’s pedagogical culture, which
causes difficulties in solving everyday educational
problems; lack of awareness of the need to meet
psychological needs and proper implementation of
functions that lie on the family,
• worsening living conditions of families (increase in
unemployment, low wages),
4 Stanisław Andrzej

• economic emigration of one of the parents (or both)

in order to im- prove the economic situation of the
family,
• difficulty in obtaining independence by the young
generation (no job,
no housing, poor economic situation),
• conflicts because of relationships in the parent family
(conflicts related
to pre-marriage relationships and their
relationship with parents),
• lack of self-acceptance of the spouses,
• the difference in the value system formed in the
parent family,
• improper family relations – spouses’ false beliefs
about love, failure of spouses to recognize the
female and male psyche, different expecta- tions of
spouses, differences in raising children, lack of sense
of respon- sibility, pursuit of domination, lack of
dialogue and time for each other, excessive
involvement in professional work, unsuccessful
marriage, lack of respect and acceptance by the
spouse, breach of the norms set by the spouse, non-
compliance with domestic duties (Szlendak 2010,
222–223).
The problems presented above – which may give rise to
a family crisis – ob- viously do not exhaust all the
premises that ruin the modern family. If I had to point out
those that, in my opinion, cause the greatest desolation in
the family, it would certainly be hard for me to decide. I
believe that each of these issues destroys a certain area
of family functioning, but some are more dangerous
and others less. I believe that the worst situations are
those related to inade- quate family relationships,
helplessness in solving life and financial problems or the
low level of parents pedagogical culture. However, it is
difficult for me to agree that some of the problems
presented by Szlendak, such as, for exam- ple,
deteriorating living conditions for families, higher
earnings for women or deteriorating living conditions for
families – are the cause of family crises, because what we
have observed in the last thirty years are favorable
 Transformation of family 4
changes of the situation in these areas, and there are
more and more families with cri- ses in their families.
The crisis in modern families also results from the
stress and frustration of the spouses which accompany
them in daily routine, from the lack of com- munication,
from the inability to solve problems leading to family
tensions. The accumulation of negative emotions badly
affects various areas of family life, including building and
strengthening family ties.
4 Stanisław Andrzej

Problems of the modern family in the maintenance of family ties

Changes in family ties are the result of a generational

change that marked the second half of the 20th century.
They concerned the perception of the ba- sic family
framework, the role of mother and father as well as family
members and family ties in the traditional approach. In
the modern family there have been changes in
relationships that among others resulted in the loss of
family significance, treating the family as a community
of experiences rather than strong bonds, weakening in
the family the importance of duty and dedication to the
family, cohesion and durability of the family are less
important than the quality of family life. Paradoxically, the
durability of family ties may be more pronounced than
ties of friendship (Doniec 2011, 203).
Greater involvement of parents in professional work,
extension of work- ing time, realization of their
professional ambitions (career), fast pace of life,
reconciliation of professional work with domestic duties,
overloading with duties and fatigue cause lack of time
for family members, especially for children. In the whirl
of daily home routine and hurry there is not much time
and the desire to cultivate family ties. Women are
increasingly adding work to household chores, men are
obliged to take up housework formerly reserved for
women, such as cleaning or cooking. Women’s professional
work also entails greater involvement of fathers in
childcare. Parenthood has be- come quite “burdensome”
today due to the new division of labor between women
and men.
The dominance of the economic function is strongly
marking in families. Parents focused on raising money
often neglect the other family functions. The socialization
and educational function of the family is reduced due to
the influence of other institutions. While the importance
of spontaneous sociali- zation through mass media is
growing (Tumidajewicz 2014, 502).
The changes are also concerned with the change of
father’s position in the family and the mother’s role as
 Transformation of family 4
breadwinner. The emancipation of women has generated
a situation where, before becoming mothers, women want
to get thorough education, achieve a high position on the
labor market, and once they start a family, they fight for
financial and self- independence, which may have a
negative impact on her role as mother and wife. The
needs of the child are not fully met in such a family. It
adopts a passive or aggressive attitude, characterized by
regret, a sense of harm, and in rare cases – a sense of
respon- sibility for parents and siblings (Gałęska 2015, 34–
37).
In modern families personal ties began to dominate.
This is related to the individualization and autonomy of
the individual in the family. These include:
4 Stanisław Andrzej

good communication, aiming to experience happiness and

satisfaction from marriage and family life, individual
development and self-fulfillment. The con- tent of these
bonds are thoughts, desires and aspirations, based on
emotional and volitional contacts, behavior and attitudes
of individual family members, as well as between
generations. On the one hand, personal ties are a factor
that builds the permanence of the family, and on the other
– a negative factor that leads to the breakdown of
marriage and the family. Typical for a modern family are
expectations toward others, claims, attitudes, aspirations,
egoism of a woman or a man (Gałęska 2015, 35).
It happens that the family functions properly only
“outside”. By society it is seen as correct, but it actually
hides some disability. There is no feeling of love in it,
neither trust, good verbal and non-verbal communication,
respect for the personal rights of its members, which
triggers a loss of meaning, stability and security. Such a
situation usually results in divorce.
In a modern family, there are often changes in the
mother’s partner or child’s father, most often after
divorce or in partner relationship. Sometimes new
siblings appear, for example partner’s children. This
causes that the roles in the family change, disruptions
and numerous tensions occur. In such a family, an
“emotional cut-off” may occur, which is manifested in
breaking emotional ties with the family. This applies most
often to children who do not accept the choice of mother
(father) and the situation created. In the case of children
of partners who live together, there may also be many
misunder- standings, and in the case of parents,
misunderstandings regarding their and their partner’s
children. It is a situation that destabilizes the family,
causing loosening of bonds between family members
connected with blood ties and it can even break up family
ties (Gałęska 2015, 36).
Nowadays couples don’t split up in friendship. They are
with each other as long as it gives them both pleasure. A
new “sentimental order” has been cre- ated and the
emergence of a “postmodern family” separated sex from
mar- riage, childbearing also separated from marriage,
 Transformation of family 4
and marriage separated from the family. As a result,
many children are born outside of marriage, and this
means that children are brought up without one parent
(Szlendak 2010, 502). This type of parenthood usually
results in breaking family ties with the father or mother
of the child, as well as with the extended family of the
ab- sent parent.
The absence of a father or mother in the family in daily
routine, especially in the child’s life causes a lack of role
model, lack of sense of care and securi- ty. This happens
when father leaves the family as a result of marriage
break- down or temporary departure abroad for work
purposes. Children in such
5 Stanisław Andrzej

a family do not have role models, they do not learn the

social roles assigned to them in a natural, spontaneous
way. Lack of one of the family members weakens personal
ties in the family, not only in relation to adults. In the case
of children in such a situation, aggression, anger,
upbringing problems, low self-esteem, distrust, and
difficulties in making contact with other children may
appear.
Parents’ quarrels also contribute to weakening family
ties, especially when the child has to take one side
because it is forced by one of the parents. This causes a
split in his psyche, the difficulty of choosing between
mother and father. Criticizing one of the parents,
showing him/her in a bad light distorts his assessment,
sense of love and security as well as the level of trust. In
such a family, ties do not exist, because they are broken.
They are caused by mutual hostility of the spouses and
not considering the fact how relationships shaped
towards each other affect the child’s psyche.
It is also worth mentioning the situation of older people
in the family. The structure of the family, the system of
family ties, the principles of family sol- idarity determine
the intergenerational relationship. An older man gradually
withdraws from professional work and social life,
narrowing his life activity mostly for family life. Old
people particularly feel the need to be useful, o ex-
perience recognition, mental security, kindness,
affirmation, and belonging. Playing roles here depends on
many factors, dependent on the family and the type of
these roles. They teach their grandchildren family
traditions and uni- versal human values (Kościńska 2011,
205–206). Seniors help their adult chil- dren and
grandchildren, they also expect subconscious help from
them in a critical situation – loss of health, mental and
physical strength. Unfortunate- ly, they do not always
receive it. This happens when adult children don’t have
time for older and sick parents, other life priorities and
attitudes of selfishness (placing in a social care home). In
a crisis situation we can often observe signif- icant
weakening of family ties.
 Transformation of family 5
Of course, this attitude may not always turn out to be
selfish, but it may be dictated by responsible care and
love for their parents, as adult children may not always be
able to support their elderly parents in the way they can
receive in specialist centers for the elderly.
In today’s family, relationships between extended
families are rather occa- sional. They appear in situations
of family celebrations and holidays, conven- tions and
family meetings. Family ties are less durable due to
increasing fam- ily size and cohesion as a result of socio-
economic changes. Family relations and relationships are
the most intense within a two-generation family, which is
currently the most popular.
 5 Stanisław Andrzej

Summary

The family and the family ties create the shape of the
attitudes and be- havior of the man who grows in this
family. They also have a decisive impact on the nature of
the family he will form in the future. The values gained
from his family home will enable him to build and
strengthen family bonds, based largely on his and his
family’s experiences. Also a big impact has the attitude
towards cultural and civilization changes introducing a
new life- style, also in the family. Moving away from a
traditional family has already become a fact. Nowadays,
cultivating a family bond is a challenge and a duty to
maintain a family because of its sense and social
dimension. There is no alternative to family ties, despite
changes in the family model. Bonds are assigned to a
family for ages, regardless of the type of family and the
func- tions it performs in a better or worse way. On the
one hand, it is something natural, obvious, on the other
hand, something worth developing and culti- vating.
Family ties strengthen the feeling of love, mutual trust,
the need to be together, the awareness of support in a
difficult situation and the need for security that the family
provides, not only during growth period, but also in the
adult life of the individual.

Data wpłynięcia: 2020-03-01;

Data uzyskania pozytywnych recenzji: 2020-10-13;
Data przesłania do druku: 2020–12–28.

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