------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 4: SOX vs. Japan’s 4 Major Lewd Joke Terror Organizations

The situation was undoubtedly critical.

The absence of Otome Saotome-senpai. The impending attack by Anna-

senpai in two days.

These two overlapping crises were so severe that it was hard to grasp just
how dangerous the situation was in the heat of the moment.

“Dammit, why does this keep happening…? What should we do, Kajou-senpai?”

So, like a small boat tossed into a stormy sea seeking the light of a lighthouse,
I turned to Ayame for guidance.

But—

“You know, there are things you only realize the importance of after you lose
them. Like summer homework, right? Stuff like observing morning erections
for a free research project, or making a ‘summer fling’ problem set —those
were classics, weren’t they? At the time, they were annoying, but looking back,
they were just the right amount of work to make every day fulfilling.”

…Yeah, the lighthouse is broken.

Ayame sat down with a thud, smiling vacantly.

“Kajou-senpai! Stop escaping reality already! Homework like that doesn’t exist
anywhere, past or present, east or west!”

My desperate plea fell on deaf ears.

1
Ayame fiddled with her phone, disabling the PM (Public Morals) system, and
showed no signs of stopping her lewd joke spree.

“You know, I just thought of a groundbreaking invention. It’s called the ‘Cemi-
Lingual,’ and it lets you understand cicada language. Though, it basically just
displays ‘Please mate with me.’ There’s also a cricket version and a
grasshopper version.”

“They’re all the same thing!”

“Oh, I just had an idea! Doesn’t the kanji for ‘yen’ (円) look like a girl on all fours
waiting to be penetrated from behind? That’s so erotic!”

“Please use that imagination to help us out of this situation, I’m begging you!”

“By the way, the right stroke of the ‘円’ character is like panties caught around
the calves.”

“That’s way too detailed!”

“Thinking about it, ‘pi’ (π) is amazing. Pi = π. Such a simple equation, yet it
encapsulates both breasts and buttocks. If only it included legs, it would’ve
been the ultimate formula representing the three major male fetishes… What a
shame.”

At that point, I thought, Couldn’t the ‘=’ symbol just represent legs? But I kept
my mouth shut, knowing I shouldn’t fuel Kajou-senpai’s reality-escaping lewd
jokes any further.

While I struggled to rein in Kajou-senpai’s chaotic and nonsensical jokes, a

not-insignificant amount of time passed.

2
Otome Saotome-senpai had left, saying something about joining Keisuke
Onigashira’s faction, and we needed to catch her as soon as possible to either
hear her out or persuade her.

But here we were, wasting time.

It felt like a colossal waste, on par with an ero-boy spending his precious
youth on masturbation.

How ironic—spreading seeds yet being so unproductive.

Wait, saying “ero-boy” is like saying “headache hurts” or “commit a crime,”

isn’t it?

“Wait, I shouldn’t be thinking about such nonsense either! …I don’t think I can
persuade her, but maybe I should go after Saotome-senpai alone…”

I muttered, clutching my head. I tried calling her on the PM system, but she
wasn’t picking up.

“Tanukichi.”

Kajou-senpai grabbed my shoulder, her expression serious.

Finally, she’s back on track. Relieved, I turned to her and said, “Let’s go after
her! She can’t be far!” But—

“Tanukichi, you seem to have objections to my idea that the ‘yen’ character
looks like a girl on all fours, don’t you?”

“…Huh?”

“You were making that face again, like, ‘This person is spouting nonsense…’
and clutching your head, weren’t you? Honestly, your imagination is lacking.
3
Look, the squares on the left and right of the ‘circle’ character are the left and
right buttcheeks, and the lines extending downward are the thighs…”

Kajou-senpai suddenly got on all fours on the futon and started pointing to her
own body parts, explaining her lewd joke in detail.

“What are you doing? Stop it!”

I couldn’t take it anymore, and I didn’t know where to look.

I tried pulling Kajou-senpai’s arm to stop her, but she stubbornly stayed on all
fours, refusing to end her explanation.

Then, it happened.

“Ayame-sama! Are you in here? I haven’t heard anything about yesterday’s

baton challenge, so what’s going on… huh!?”

Kosuri Onigashira entered the room.

She froze like a statue upon seeing me and Kajou-senpai.

And when you really looked at our positions… yeah, it was that. Completely
from behind. And Kajou-senpai, completely ignoring Kosuri’s arrival, kept
pointing at her own butt while saying,

“See, here! I’m telling you, it’s here! Don’t you get it? This is why virgins are so
hopeless!”

She kept spouting words that only deepened the misunderstanding.

“What the hell are you doing to Ayame-sama, you idiot!? Ahhhhhh!”

4
“Ah─────!?”

In an instant, Kosuri’s rocket headbutt, fueled by the blood rushing to her head,
struck my “Unanalyzable Hole of Unacceptable Taste,” or in short, my anus.
The shock immediately pierced through my intestines. What the hell is this? It
feels like I’ve been hit by a construction drill or something.

“Hey, Kosuri, stop messing around. We don’t have time for this kind of
nonsense right now…”

“Ha! Of course, a pathetic virgin like you, who gets scolded for not knowing
which hole to stick it in when attacking a woman, wouldn’t have any time to
spare!”

Kosuri maintained her defensive stance toward me while rushing over to

Kajou-senpai, who was on all fours.

“Are you okay, Ayame-sama!? Are you hurt!?”

“Ah, perfect timing, Kosuri! Hey, look, doesn’t being on all fours look like a
‘yen’ ?”

Kajou-senpai slapped her own right butt cheek with a Paan!

“……Are you okay, Ayame-sama? Your head…”

Even Kosuri was left speechless by Kajou-senpai’s sudden, nonsensical

request for agreement.

“My head? It’s in perfect condition! Blood’s rushing to it like a turtle’s head,
and dirty jokes are popping up one after another! …Somehow, I feel like if I
squeeze my head now, I could shoot something out from the top!”

5
Kajou-senpai grabbed the collar of her yukata and began repeatedly bringing it
over and off of her head, going “Koshi koshi koshi!”

It really looks like some white liquid might come out. Kajou-senpai’s head is
probably full of pus.

“……It seems like I misunderstood. What’s going on, Tanukichi?”

Seeing Kajou-senpai’s disoriented state, Kosuri seemed to realize that an

emergency had occurred.

Kosuri, with an awkward expression, asked me for an explanation while I

writhed in pain from the blow to my butt.

“Saotome-senpai has sided with Keisuke Onigashira.”

At this explanation, Kosuri’s brow furrowed in extreme displeasure.

“Why all of a sudden… If Saotome-senpai sides with Papa, then the external
terrorist organizations will be under his control!”

It’s helpful that she catches on quickly.

That’s right. It’s easy to lose sight of it because she’s so close to us, but
Saotome-senpai is someone in this world who can create lewd illustrations of
immeasurable value from scratch.

If that power falls into Keisuke Onigashira’s hands, and all the dirty joke
terrorist organizations across the country gather to seek that sweet nectar,
then SOX will have no allies left.

SOX’s dissemination of sexual knowledge will be crushed by both the Decency

Squad and the dirty joke terrorist organizations.

6
And above all, we can’t let Saotome-senpai stay under the control of a man
who’s trying to accelerate the sexual recklessness of young people for his
own benefit. …Well, looking at Kajou-senpai right now, it seems like our side is
just as bad.

“That damn old man… So his target was Saotome-senpai from the very
beginning…! First Yutori, now this… How far does he plan to mess with people
before he’s satisfied?”

Kosuri’s face twisted in hatred as she muttered curses under her breath and
began operating her PM.

Purururu, the sound of a phone ringing could be heard.

It seems she set it so we could hear the call too.

“Are you calling Keisuke?”

“Don’t get your hopes up. Papa hasn’t been answering my calls lately, and
even if he did and agreed to return Saotome-senpai, it wouldn’t solve anything.
I just want to personally give him a piece of my mind.”

“I get it. Unfortunately, it seems Saotome-senpai sided with Keisuke out of her
own will.”

I don’t know what kind of dealings happened behind the scenes, but Saotome-
senpai’s eyes and voice didn’t seem like those of someone who had been
threatened.

That’s why both Kajou-senpai and I hesitated to chase after her.

Hearing my words, Kosuri snorted.

7
“Something as vague as “her own will” is easy to manipulate. We shouldn’t
respect that and just overwrite it. Use charisma to incite her, or use some
overwhelming technique or power that others can’t replicate. Well, I doubt
you’re capable of that, so reclaiming Saotome-senpai will have to rely on
Ayame-sama’s extraordinary power. But what I’m more concerned about is…
huh?”

Kosuri, who had been spouting her rotten, high-minded theories, suddenly
stopped as her PM switched to an incoming call.

“This damn old man! Quit messing with people already! …Huh?”

Kosuri’s initial burst of anger quickly deflated.

What’s going on? I strained my ears to listen to Keisuke’s voice coming from
the PM.

“This makes it 50 times you’ve called Papa, Kosuri☆ Being sought after so
much by my beloved daughter makes Papa super happy☆ But Papa’s busy
right now and can’t answer the phone~ If you’d like, please call again later ☆”

Click.

Kosuri silently ended the call and collapsed on the spot.

She placed the back of her hand on her forehead and let out a hoarse voice.

“…Maybe if I just shout a banned word here and get arrested by the Decency
Squad, I can crush Papa…?”

Keisuke’s infuriating behavior had driven Kosuri to the point of considering a

suicide bombing.

8
“Calm down, Kosuri! Ah, by the way, what were you about to say earlier?
What’s the thing you’re concerned about!?”

I tried to distract Kosuri, who looked like she might start running around
shouting “PENIS!” at any moment.

Perhaps to avoid letting her emotions get the better of her and shouting
something like “DICK!”, Kosuri surprisingly went along with my question.

“Ah, it’s simple. There’s no doubt someone sold Saotome-senpai’s information

to Papa, so I was wondering who that might be.”

“…Huh?”

The phrase “sold her information” sounded so dramatic that I reflexively made
a sour face.

Seeing my expression, Kosuri seemed to take it as a silent rebuttal and began

to elaborate, shrugging her shoulders persistently. She might as well dislocate
her hip joint while she’s at it.

“It’s not that hard to narrow down the creators of lewd illustrations to a certain
number of people. But given how cautious Papa is, he wouldn’t act on
unconfirmed information or speculation. The fact that he came all the way out
to this Akekado Hot Springs area means he must have gotten reliable
information that Saotome-senpai is the illustrator.”

When Keisuke Onigashira poached Saotome-senpai from SOX, he even went

so far as to involve the four major dirty joke terrorist organizations in a
massive pervert relay.

No matter how immeasurable the value of a lewd illustrator is, mobilizing such
a large-scale operation without confirmation is an overinvestment.

9
It’s a fact that Keisuke Onigashira must have had some kind of certainty
before approaching Saotome-senpai.

“If that’s the case, then who could have revealed Saotome-senpai’s identity…”

The only people who know are the SOX members and the supporters
scattered around the First Purity Designated City.

Is there someone among them who leaked our information?

Among those who went wild over Yatsuga Forest’s dirty books and shed tears
of joy over Saotome-senpai’s lewd illustrations?

Just as I reached a conclusion I didn’t want to believe, Kajou-senpai, who had

been amusing herself by pretending her head was a turtle and her yukata was
skin, lost her balance and slammed her head into the wall.

“Dopyu!?”

Letting out a strange scream, Kajou-senpai collapsed on the spot.

“Is your head okay, Ayame-sama!?”

Kosuri hurriedly picked her up.

“Ha. What was I just… I think I lost my senses for a moment.”

You’ve been out of your senses for a while now, haven’t you?

“…Wow. While I was drowning in dirty jokes, so much time has passed!
Saotome-senpai must already be at the exhibition venue. …I wonder if this is
the same hollow feeling high school boys feel after wasting precious time
hunting for masturbation material online.”

10
Kajou-senpai, who had missed the chance to stop Saotome-senpai and
persuade her, held her head in her hands.

“Well, there’s still a chance, and maybe this is for the best?”

Kosuri muttered while resting her chin on her hand.

“Saotome-senpai went to the exhibition venue, right? If she had completely

switched sides, she would have disappeared from Akekado Hot Springs with
Papa. The reason my calls to Papa aren’t going through is probably because
he’s still in the middle of persuading Saotome-senpai. I think they’ll probably
meet again after the exhibition. In that case, the best plan is to tail Saotome-
senpai when she leaves the venue and crash their secret meeting. That way,
we can find out what kind of deal they’re making and catch them off guard.”

As always, her mind works fast. And since Kosuri isn’t particularly passionate
about dirty joke terrorism, she seems to be able to handle crisis situations
without panicking.

Hmm, she’s usually annoying, but there are things to learn from her.

Hearing Kosuri’s words, Kajou-senpai also nodded, regaining some of her

composure.

“Kosuri’s right. There’s no need to rush like a virgin. …That means we have
some time until evening, so maybe we should use it to prepare for Anna.”

“…Huh? Why is that monster’s name coming up now?”

The moment Anna-senpai’s name was mentioned, Kosuri’s calm expression

immediately stiffened.

“Ah. Come to think of it, I don’t think I mentioned that Anna-senpai is planning
to come to Akekado Hot Springs the day after tomorrow.”

11
While casually apologizing, I explained the situation with Anna-senpai.

“…That woman, that monster, is coming here…?”

All traces of her earlier composure were gone.

Kosuri was far more flustered than when Keisuke had teased her with the
voicemail. Her lips were even trembling.

“Hurry! We need to erase all evidence that Tanukichi was here, down to the
atomic level! If that monster’s jealousy—no, her beastly instincts—are
triggered, no one will be able to stop her! I don’t care about Tanukichi, but
Ayame-sama might get twisted to death!”

Kosuri began cleaning the room with incredible speed, trembling all the while.

The skills she’s picked up from her recent life as a slave are coming in handy.

“Hey! You should start packing up your stuff too! I’m sure you’ll be moving to
another inn starting today!”

“Got it, got it!”

As I started packing my things, I was yelled at for being too slow and had my
butt slapped.

“Women are like “Where’s Waldo?”-level detectives who can detect the
slightest inconsistencies 24/7 and instantly uncover a man’s infidelity! And
our opponent is that monster! We don’t have time to waste! We need to handle
this with the mindset of committing the perfect crime against a horny old
man!”

“Maybe we should just give up on that?”

12
“…Maybe we should just burn this damn inn to the ground…”

With Kosuri, whose eyes were now glazed over, starting to make criminal
threats, I hurriedly began preparing.

Seeing our situation, Kajou-senpai operated her PM and said, “Hmm.”

“It’s probably difficult to completely erase the traces of a teenage boy who
secretes various fluids from his body every day with just this many people…
Even though it’s the middle of the festival and everyone’s busy, I’ll have to ask
Nadeshiko to spare some people. We’ll need their help with the Saotome-
senpai and Keisuke situation too.”

While making a call on her PM, Kajou-senpai left the room.

From then on, we spent almost the entire day until Saotome-senpai’s
exhibition ended eliminating all physical evidence, chemical substances, and
even pubic hair that seemed to keep sprouting no matter how much we
cleaned… What’s up with that? Is it self-replicating or something?

“…Even if it’s aversion therapy, we need to quickly win over that damn old man,
drag Saotome-senpai back to our side, and clean, clean, clean…”

By the time the sun had set and Saotome-senpai’s exhibition was over, Kosuri,
who had developed an extreme case of cleanliness OCD, was waiting near the
venue with me and Kajou-senpai to tail Saotome-senpai.

We planned to follow Saotome-senpai, who would likely meet with Keisuke,

and crash their meeting.

13
To ensure we could move quickly no matter where the secret meeting was
held, all three of us were dressed in casual clothes. Even though it was dusk,
Akekado Hot Springs was still bustling with people due to the ongoing festival.
Since the main event, the White Spirit Floating, had already ended, most
people were dressed casually like us rather than in yukatas.

“Hey, Kosuri. I get that you’re scared of Anna-senpai, but could you stop
spraying Febreze and Lysol on me alternately? The weird smell is making me
feel sick.”

Moreover, Kosuri seemed to be focusing on eliminating the smell from my

crotch, so now my crotch was both soaking wet and emitting a strange odor.
Isn’t this going to get us caught?

And hey, the instructions say not to spray it directly at people! Ah, hey, stop
spraying it in my face! That’s dangerous! My hair’s all sticky, and I’m choking!

After spitting out the disinfectant that had gotten into my mouth onto a tissue,
I grabbed the Fabreze and Lysol from Kosuri.

“Ah! What are you doing!? I went through the trouble of figuring out a way to
eliminate your smell without burying you alive!”

“If you keep this up, you’ll attract regular people before Anna-senpai even
shows up! Besides, burying me alive wouldn’t help much.”

According to Yutori, wild animals can’t be fooled by just a shallow burial. If it

were Anna-senpai, she’d probably dig up my corpse without breaking a sweat.

“…If it comes to that, I was prepared to cremate you, but what should we
do…?”

I decided not to mention that burning me would eliminate the smell entirely,
since it’s a matter of life and death.

14
“…Maybe we should give up on erasing Tanukichi’s traces and deliberately
provoke the monster woman’s jealousy, then present the “cause of the smell”
as the stupid breath I removed earlier to calm her down…? Since the monster
woman is ignorant about that kind of thing, we could probably fool her by
saying it’s a new type of mushroom.”

“Probably,” my ass. Just die already.

Stop treating my crotch like some kind of pet. Besides, you can’t just remove
and reattach breath, and even if you could, once it’s in Anna-senpai’s hands,
it’s never coming back.

“Both of you. I understand that you’re worried about the lack of progress in
cleaning and preparing for Anna, but focus on this for now. …Honestly,
Nadeshiko, of all times to be unreachable.”

Kajou-senpai sighed while singing, “Oh~ penis, penis, I’m inserting it, in the
corridor~” to calm herself.

“It’s strange. Her PM just goes to voicemail, and the employees say things like,
“She should be somewhere in Akekado Hot Springs,” but they don’t know her
exact whereabouts.”

“Thanks to that, we can’t even check on the movements of Keisuke and the
members of the four major terrorist organizations who are supposed to be
staying at various inns, let alone get help dealing with Tanukichi’s “clones.”
This is troublesome.”

“Can you stop calling them “clones”?”

I know you’re talking about things like hair, but come on, “clones” obviously
refers to tadpoles.

“Oh my. Who do you think cleaned up the pubic hair that gathered in the
corners of your room?”
15
“Me!”

When Kajou-senpai was cleaning my room, she discovered those things and
immediately ran away.

Yet she still talks about them so vividly. This person…

“Ah, she’s here!”

Kosuri, who had been unusually quiet and not interrupting my conversation
with Kajou-senpai, silently shouted while staring intently at the multipurpose
hall that served as the exhibition venue.

A small figure with unsteady steps emerged from the still somewhat crowded
multipurpose hall. It was Saotome-senpai.

Her demeanor seemed the same as a few days ago when she was crushed
after her wholesome paintings were excessively praised.

She must have been devastated once again by the excessive praise from the
so-called connoisseurs today.

Even though she knew this would happen, why did Saotome-senpai go to the
exhibition venue?

“Uhehehe, I don’t care about the consequences anymore. Let’s kidnap Otome
Saotome right here, brainwash her, shut up Keisuke by throwing a tantrum,
and solve this situation ASAP. Then, we’ll dedicate all our remaining time to
dealing with that monster girl…”

“Hey, stop being an idiot.”

16
I held back Kosuri, who had lost all sense of rational judgment due to her fear
of Anna-senpai.

If we resorted to such forceful methods, there was no telling how Keisuke and
the other leaders of the Four Major Lewd Joke Terror Organizations would
react. Right now, SOX had managed to keep Kosuri on our side and owed
Keisuke a favor, which allowed us to maintain a somewhat stable rivalry. But if
we gave them even the slightest excuse to use force, that fragile balance
would boil over in an instant. Numbers are justice, and power is justice. As a
minority, we have to be extra careful about when to break the rules and
generally remain obedient.

Just as I was trying to calm down Kosuri, who was on the verge of going
berserk, Kajou-senpai opened her mouth to speak. At that moment, Kosuri’s
expression, which had been as predatory as a frog hunting its prey, suddenly
turned serious.

“Otome Saotome’s… those cloudy eyes… Could it be…?”

Kosuri gritted her teeth in displeasure, then turned to Kajou-senpai with a

weak expression.

“…Ayame-sama. It doesn’t seem like I’ll be able to brainwash Otome

Saotome…”

“Yeah, you don’t need to do that.”

“But, Ayame-sama, you can wake that idiot up, right?”

“Of course.”

Kajou-senpai answered immediately, her words unusually decisive. Was that

anagram on purpose?

17
“Even if she’s been deceived, Otome-senpai is still one of us—someone
dissatisfied with this world. Stealing her back from Keisuke and his ridiculous
ideas will be a piece of cake!”

I couldn’t help but feel like she was just speaking on momentum alone.

“There’s no way I, someone obsessed with lewd jokes, can’t talk sense into
Otome-senpai, who’s been consumed by drawing lewd illustrations! Come on,
let’s stop dawdling and tail her right away!”

“Yes, ma’am!”

Following Kajou-senpai’s reliable back, Kosuri and I began tailing Otome-

senpai.

“Huh? This place…?”

I tilted my head as I looked up at the building Otome-senpai had entered.

It was the high-class inn, Kiyomonsou, which I had become familiar with over
the past few weeks.

Otome-senpai, after declaring she’d switched sides to Keisuke, just came back
here like it was nothing?

If that’s the case, she’s got some nerves of steel.

“No, maybe it’s that place. Both of you, grab your shoes and follow me.”

Kajou-senpai emphasized that place as she led us to the traumatic spot.

18
“Wait, isn’t this the mixed-gender bath!?”

The mixed bath where dicks dance and meat sticks flourish—a place I was all
too familiar with.

This hot spring had essentially become a private mixed bath for me and
Kajou-senpai (and sometimes Nadeshiko-san), so there were usually no
people around. But even so, there’s no way she’d have a secret meeting here,
right?

As Kajou-senpai fiddled with the wooden board separating the bath from the
back mountain, she said,

“Out of all the possible routes, this is the shortest. Even with Otome-senpai’s
feet, which don’t seem capable of much footwork, she should be able to make
it here relatively easily.”

“Kajou-senpai, what is this…?”

After removing the board and pushing through the evergreen branches, there
was a path.

The ground was noticeably packed down, as if quite a few people had passed
through here in the past few days. A foot fetishist M would probably be thrilled
to lie down here.

“I told you about the hidden shrine on the bus, right?”

Kajou-senpai turned to me and Kosuri, smiling confidently.

“This cramped path leads to the eastern side of Akekado Hot Springs’ taboo —
the hidden shrine. At this time, the river’s water level should have dropped,
revealing the shrine. That’s undoubtedly where the secret meeting is taking

19
place. Both of you, tighten up your resolve like you’re squeezing through a
birth canal. The real battle starts here.”

Kajou-senpai pulled out a pair of panties and a flashlight from her pocket,
tossed them to us, put on her own panties, and began advancing toward the
hidden shrine.

“Ayame-sama’s underwear, still warm with her body heat… hah, hah…”

Kosuri, who had started getting excited after putting the panties on her head,
was kicked from behind by me as we hurried toward the hidden shrine where
Otome-senpai had likely gone.

The Akekado River, which flows through the center of Akekado Hot Springs,
forks into two streams upstream like a uterus.

The hidden shrine is quietly enshrined along the Akekado River, on the other
side of the low mountains surrounding the hot springs, with one on the west
side and one on the east side.

Once a year, during the summer festival period, the river’s water level drops
due to the influence of a dam built over half a century ago, revealing a large,
bowl-shaped riverbed around the hidden shrine. Since ancient times, this bowl-
shaped riverbed has been considered sacred. The team that carried the penis
mikoshi the fastest would engage in a ritual competition, and the losing team
would shave off pieces of the mikoshi they carried and return them to the
river.

By the way, the White Spirit Floating ceremony held last night was a
wholesome adaptation of the tradition of floating the shaved pieces of the
penis mikoshi down the river. The White Spirit represents, well, semen. It’s
kind of like how oppressed ethnic groups hid their traditional martial arts
within dances to pass them down.

20
As Kajou-senpai explained the general outline of the hidden shrine again, we
were heading toward the eastern shrine, near Kiyomonsou.

After walking along a rope to avoid slipping and traversing a dark mountain
path for over ten minutes, Kajou-senpai, who was leading the way, stopped in
her tracks as we approached the light leaking from the bowl-shaped riverbed.

“…Somehow, the shrine seems unusually noisy. It’s even noisier than the
moans in a mature women orgy adult video.”

“I’ve been wanting to say this for a while now, but you’ve never actually seen
that kind of footage, have you!? Stop using random comparisons like ‘it tastes
like a beetle’!”

By the time we were old enough to understand, video content had completely
shifted from VHS and DVD to digital data, and due to how easy it was to hunt
down, erotic videos had almost entirely been eradicated.

My knowledge of AV comes only from what my dad told me. ‘There’s nothing
more off-putting than a woman’s showy moans. The moans that she
desperately tries to suppress but still leak out are where the divine resides,’
my dad said. Come to think of it, he also said, ‘Women don’t deteriorate
because they age; they deteriorate because they lose their sense of shame.
That’s why my wife remains charming no matter how much time passes.’ That
damn old man, what kind of stuff is he feeding his kid!?

As you grow older, you start to understand the meaning, weight, and
inappropriateness of your parents’ words and actions.

“Heh. It’s true, I’ve never seen that kind of footage. Everything I know is just
empty knowledge I begged my dad for, without any real experience to back it
up.”

21
“I’ve thought this before, but what kind of parent imparts such deep
knowledge to their daughter before she even starts elementary school!?”

“A father can’t resist his daughter’s and son’s demands, you know.”

What’s with this senpai? Did she see the Gate of Truth or something? What
she’s lost is probably her self-restraint.

“The AV footage in my head is indeed just imagination. But humans are

creatures that have sex with their ‘imagination,’ that is, their ‘heart’! In other
words, a man’s sexual organ isn’t his dick, but his heart! A woman’s sexual
organ isn’t her p●ssy, but her heart! What’s important is heart-climax! If you
draw it in your heart, it reflects reality and takes form!”

Kajou-senpai declared while pounding her chest. It was the birth of the worst
slogan ever.

“That’s why, as long as we have the right mindset, there’s nothing to worry
about.”

Kajou-senpai clenched her fist, solidifying her resolve.

The human presence coming from the shrine wasn’t just a hundred or two
hundred people.

There was no doubt that a number of members from the Four Major Lewd
Joke Terror Organizations, far beyond what we faced at Kiyomonsou, had
gathered here.

Moreover, the aura emanating from them was overwhelming, filled with an
intense heat. If it weren’t for Kajou-senpai’s lewd joke disguised as a pep talk,
we would’ve been crushed by the pressure by now.

22
“It seems like convincing Otome-senpai will be more difficult than I thought.
But the plan remains the same. While Kosuri charges in and causes a
disturbance, ‘Onahole Abstinence Day 40 Sentimental Full-Body Genital
Bomber’ and I will focus on persuading Otome-senpai.”

“Wait, my nickname has evolved a bit, hasn’t it!?”

The number of days increased by ten, and the reading changed from
‘sensitive’ to ‘sentimental.’ I’m getting depressed from too much abstinence.
Moderation is key in everything.

“To bring Otome-senpai back to our side, Kosuri, it’s crucial how much you can
stir up the secret meeting. The more time we buy, the higher the chance of
success.”

“Yes, ma’am! Kosuri will do her best! Above all, for Ayame-sama’s sake! To
focus on cleaning up and blinding that monster girl!”

Kosuri, driven by various reasons, saluted with determined eyes. Well, this girl
is a genius at causing chaos (with a criminal record), so we can trust her with
this.

The three of us reaffirmed our roles and turned our bodies toward the shrine.

“Let’s call this operation ‘3 Dicks, 1 Woman’!”

“I’ve never heard that operation name before!?”

With Kajou-senpai’s shout, we started running.

Well, the ‘3 Dicks, 1 Woman’ operation is probably about how even the most
powerful, insatiable bitch can’t handle three holes being filled at once without
breaking, meaning that if we all work together, we can overcome any difficulty.

23
Alright, let’s do this.

“First, we’ll charge into the shrine! The important figures will likely be using the
shrine as a stage, so we’ll launch a surprise attack there first… huh!?”

Kajou-senpai, who had taken the lead, suddenly hit the brakes.

“Wait, what’s wrong, ‘Blue Snow’!? …Huh!?”

Kosuri and I also stopped, and we realized the source of the intense heat
filling the area.

The bowl-shaped riverbed, illuminated by several lanterns, was packed with

members of the Four Major Lewd Joke Terror Organizations, each wearing
their own perverted costumes and hiding their faces.

There weren’t just a hundred or two hundred people—there were at least five
hundred. Their outfits, already far from normal, were now beyond our
comprehension.

Everyone was holding postcard-sized pieces of paper, their faces filled with
excitement as if they were tripping.

It was like a group of drug addicts, who had been suffering from withdrawal
symptoms for years, were finally indulging in the ultimate high—a festival that
had completely abandoned all ethics.

Even Kajou-senpai was taken aback, and Kosuri and I were left speechless,
our thoughts frozen.

I wanted the Decency Squad to sweep this place clean right now. It was that
bad.

“W-What’s going on here…? Hey, ‘Blue Snow’! Look at that!”

24
I pointed at the wooden building enshrined at the deepest part of the bowl-
shaped riverbed—if the riverbed were a breast, this would be the nipple.

The shrine, built to withstand the river’s erosion with a stone foundation and
hidden by trees protruding from the mountain behind it, had a solemn
atmosphere despite its small size.

The door leading to the main hall was open, and the giant penis statue (did
that really exist…?), the shrine’s sacred object, stood proudly under the lantern
light. Sitting nearby, vigorously shaking a paintbrush in her mouth, was Otome-
senpai, her face barely hidden by a butterfly mask.

“Pfft. Here, it’s done. A masterpiece.”

As she spat out the paintbrush and caught it, Otome-senpai handed the
completed illustration to a nearby black-clad figure with a satisfied smile.

The illustration was quickly mass-produced by a giant copier inside the main
hall.

Watching this scene with a satisfied nod, Otome-senpai was approached by a

shadowy figure.

“Alright, the second illustration of the day is~ ‘Saori No. 3 on a date, spotted
by her bound boyfriend, and turned into a s●x slave—a day in the life of a high
school boy.’ ”

“””UHHHYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! FINALLY, THE LONG-AWAITED

ILLUSTRATION IS HERE!”””

The familiar voice amplified by the PA system explained the illustration, and
about a hundred figures, likely members of The Bacon Lettuce Mothers'
Association, rushed toward the shrine.

25
The BL (Boys’ Love) illustration-hungry beasts that were The Mothers'
Association members pounced on the scattered illustrations like fish in a
fishing pond.

It was a nightmare-like scene.

Keisuke Onigashira, who had secured Otome Saotome’s talent, was using her
to bring all the factions under his control—this was the first step.

No doubt about it.

If we didn’t reclaim Otome-senpai here, all the lewd joke terror organizations in
the country would fall under the Onigashira family’s control. SOX would be
unable to expand its activities beyond the First Purity Designated City, and
we’d be left to helplessly watch this boring world crumble on its own.

“…! Both of you! The operation continues! We’ll reclaim Otome-senpai here no
matter what!”

“Y-Yes, ma’am!”

“Yes, ma’am!”

Spurred by Kajou-senpai’s scolding, we resumed our surprise attack on the

shrine.

The members of the Four Major Lewd Joke Terror Organizations were all too
engrossed in Otome-senpai’s erotic illustrations to pay us any attention. These
guys are the type who got caught by their moms while too absorbed in
masturbating during their school days, huh?

Without disturbing their fun, we quickly made our way up to the shrine.

26
While Kosuri charged toward Keisuke, who was likely hiding in the back,
shouting, “You bastard! You damn old man!”, Kajou-senpai and I rushed
toward Otome-senpai.

“”Otome-senpai!””

We shook her small shoulders vigorously. But,

“Nkkkkkkk!”

Otome-senpai, who was vividly moving her brush, was tripping in a different
direction from the members of the Four Major Lewd Joke Terror
Organizations. She showed no signs of stopping her erotic illustration
production, let alone listening to us.

It was as if she was being consumed by the backlash of being forced to draw
wholesome illustrations for so long.

“This is bad… Unless Kosuri buys us a lot of time, we won’t even be able to talk
to her properly…”

“GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

At that moment, Kosuri’s scream, meant to buy time by throwing a tantrum at

Keisuke, reached our ears. Kosuri, who had been trembling and convulsing,
came running back from behind the giant penis mikoshi and hid behind me.
“Urrgh!” She covered her mouth as if suppressing nausea, trying to use me as
a shield while pushing me forward.

“Hey, what the hell are you…”

“Kosuriiiiii!”

A monster emerged from the darkness.

27
“Why are you running away!? It’s been so long since you’ve seen your papa!?”

“GYAAAAAAAAH! Don’t come near me, don’t touch me, my skin’s gonna rot!
Idiot! Trash! Die! Disappear!”

Kosuri finally collapsed to the ground, retching.

“What’s wrong, Kosuri!? A-Are you having morning sickness!? Did those SOX
bastards do something terrible to you…!?”

“That’s slander, you idiot! You’re the one showing me something horrible right
now!”

I couldn’t help but point at the monster in front of me, who looked like Keisuke.

The monster’s voice was undoubtedly Keisuke Onigashira, whom I had briefly
encountered through frosted glass before. But the middle-aged man in front of
me, concerned for Kosuri’s well-being, was dressed in a frilly pink dress—a
monstrous aberration that could only be described as a biohazard. The
Licker’s model was probably based on this guy.

Wait, was this the ‘Forest Fairy’ that Otome-senpai had been in contact with!?

“Aha☆ It’s the first time Kosuri’s seen me in my work outfit, so she’s surprised,
right?”

This is shock-death level stuff.

Even for a girl, especially one in the midst of her rebellious phase like Kosuri,
the mental damage is immeasurable.

What do you plan to do if Kosuri’s mind gets even more twisted?

28
However, at the same time, it seemed that Keisuke had also taken
considerable damage from Kosuri’s verbal barrage, as he clutched his
stomach with a “gnngh” from what appeared to be stress-induced stomach
pain, dropping to one knee.

“Well, at least this means I won’t be crushed by Kosuri’s slander or selfishness

anymore.”

““Huh!?””

Both Kajou-senpai and I were stunned. Could it be that this man had
deliberately sabotaged our attempts to persuade him, using the tactic of
cutting off the bone to sever the heart, just to secure Otome-senpai?

“Well, even if I were incapacitated, I doubt you guys could handle Otome-chan
as she is now. But, you know, better safe than sorry.”

“Pfft. There, it’s done. The third one.”

Meanwhile, Otome-senpai, who had completely ignored our exchange, had

already finished drawing the third illustration and held it up with a flourish.

“Oh, this one’s looking good too~”

Keisuke immediately took it and, at the same time, gave Otome-senpai a light
pat on the shoulder.

“Otome-chan. The old okama (gay man) has come to visit, so you should at
least listen to what they have to say, right~?”

At Keisuke's sudden switch to a feminine tone, Otome-senpai twitched in

response, as if noticing for the first time me, Kajou-senpai, and Kosuri, who
was lying on the ground like a corpse.

29
“If you think you can persuade her, go ahead and try~?”

Keisuke muttered with an air of nonchalance, 『Now, the third illustration of

the day focuses on a part you don’t usually get to see—the soles of the
feet~』

“””WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW! The illustrator is a god among men!”””

Amid the volcanic eruption of excitement from the Absolute Hemlines crowd,
I, Kajou-senpai, and Otome-senpai faced off. Kajou-senpai tapped my
shoulder. What, a new strategy?

“Hey, Tanukichi. The word 'okama' sounds so lewd. Is it short for 'okama
during masturbation'? Or does it mean 'comrades who’ve been eaten by the
same okama'?”

“This really isn’t the time for that, Kajou-senpai!?”

“Oh, come on, Tanukichi. Don’t get so worked up just because you’re a boy.
For me, dirty jokes are like warm-up exercises before a big task, a pro athlete’s
pre-shot routine! It’s like foreplay before insertion!”

“Apologize to athletes everywhere!”

“My bad. Anyway, Otome-senpai.”

Kajou-senpai snorted with satisfaction before turning back to Otome-senpai.

I honestly felt a murderous intent at the casual "my bad," but her confident
attitude made me feel reassured about leaving the negotiation to her.

“Keisuke is a dangerous man. He’s trying to exploit our generation. Even if

Otome-senpai chose this place of her own will, I can’t just let it slide. If you
could continue drawing for SOX as before, I’d be overjoyed.”

30
“No!”

Otome-senpai responded firmly to Kajou-senpai’s gentle approach. But her

eyes darted around guiltily, and her lips pursed awkwardly.

“...I-I do feel indebted to you all, you know? It’s thanks to you that I’ve been
able to draw such wonderful illustrations.”

As she spoke, Otome-senpai skillfully drew the next illustration. It was a girl
with her back turned, her buttocks forming a wall of overlapping figures.
Probably for Throbbing Butts.

“But I can’t draw for you all anymore. If I stayed with you, I’d have to
camouflage myself with wholesome art that makes me sick. Keisuke, on the
other hand, is bold. He’s willing to take me in as his exclusive artist, free from
the constraints of school and home! I’ve chosen the Onigashira Group so I can
draw whatever I want.

...I’m glad you came to persuade me, but I can’t draw wholesome art anymore.
I can’t go back to you all…”

Behind me, Kosuri twitched. She peeked out and stared intently at Otome-
senpai. Kajou-senpai then spoke to Otome-senpai, who was avoiding eye
contact.

“I see. You want to draw whatever you want... That’s how Keisuke got to you,
huh?”

As expected, Kajou-senpai laughed and pulled me closer.

“Otome-senpai. Remember. What you wanted to draw most was this guy
devouring the Student Council President, right?”

31
“...That, Blue Snow?”

You’re not saying that’s your bargaining chip, are you?

“And you haven’t forgotten the destructive power of the erotic books we have
in SOX, have you?”

Kajou-senpai pulled out a few erotic books from Yatsuga Forest that she had
hidden under her clothes.

“If you stay with SOX, you can read these ultra-powerful reference books as
much as you want! Here, chitchitchi.”

Kajou-senpai dangled the erotic books in front of Otome-senpai like bait.

You’re not seriously using that as a bargaining chip, are you!?

“Those are indeed incredibly appealing to me, especially the ones about
Anna…”

But there was a sudden lack of emotion in Otome-senpai’s voice.

“...But if I can’t draw anymore after going back, then there’s no point. If that’s
the case, I might as well compromise on Anna and the radical indecent
magazines and choose to continue drawing in a space where I can bask in
praise with my head held high.”

Otome-senpai leaned toward the bowl-shaped riverbank where she could

overlook the entire shrine.

The members of the Four Major Lewd Joke Terror Organizations, who had
nearly lost their human form due to Otome-senpai’s erotic illustrations.
Everyone was enjoying the erotic illustrations while praising Otome-senpai as
if she were a goddess. The scene, illuminated by the flickering light of the pine

32
torches, looked like some shady new religious gathering. My weak-willed
crotch was shrinking despite not being cold.

“I can deliver my art, the art I want to draw, directly to so many people who
truly desire it. Drawing what I want, as much as I want... This is the only place
where I can truly be myself.”

Hearing Otome-senpai’s words, which sounded like she was convincing

herself but were resolute, Kajou-senpai’s body swayed.

“I can’t believe the allure of our erotic resources would lose…”

“How much confidence did you have in those indecent resources!?”

“Well, I never expected Otome-senpai to be uninterested in ero! It’s like a

condom with a hole in it!?”

That’s true, but using it as a bargaining chip? And so casually!

“In that case, we’ll have to use Tanukichi and Anna’s public mating show to
keep Otome-senpai…”

“Wait, what!? What are you saying with that skewed town revitalization plan
vibe!? And stop treating me and Anna-senpai as indecent resources!?”

...Well, after all that criticism, Kajou-senpai’s approach wasn’t wrong.

Probably because this isn’t a situation where words alone can persuade.

The space where Otome-senpai can be her true self is incredibly shady and
suspicious. But for her, it’s reality, a world we’re aiming for but can’t reach.

No matter how much we try to explain the horrors of Keisuke’s plans or the
dangers of this space, it’ll just sound like sour grapes. Otome-senpai has
33
already made up her mind, and our words will be filtered through that
conclusion.

The fortunate thing is that Otome-senpai still feels indebted to us and has
some sense of camaraderie, leaving room for conversation. Unlike Kosuri
when we faced Gathered Fabric.

On the night we arrived at the hot springs, Nadeshiko-san told us, “You don’t
have the power to protect.”

Now I kind of understand.

The power to protect isn’t about shielding Otome-senpai from the pressure to
create wholesome art. It’s about the charm of the organization, the kind that
can break through filters and pull Otome-senpai back to our side.

And Kajou-senpai chose erotic resources as SOX’s charm, and it failed.

The direction wasn’t wrong. It’s just that her tastes and thoughts were too
much like Kajou-senpai herself.

“Otome’s eyes... Kosuri knows. That’s not a state where words will get
through. ...If only we could set up a stage to convey the power of Blue Snow.”

Behind me, Kosuri, who had been groggy, reached the same conclusion as me.

Nadeshiko-san said we lacked the power to protect, but that’s wrong.

What draws us to SOX is Kajou-senpai’s straightforward power.

If we can show that clearly, Otome-senpai will wake up.

If Kosuri and I can somehow set up a stage to showcase that...

34
“Huh? Is it over already?”

Keisuke, having finished distributing the erotic illustrations, laughed casually

and fluttered his pink dress as he approached Otome-senpai. Kosuri, who had
been hiding behind me, groaned from the mental damage. Her trauma is just
piling up.

“Hmm? What’s this? Of course, the SOX members are here, but Otome-chan,
you don’t look too happy either? Still not over it?”

“N-No! I’m drawing lewd illustrations as much as I want under your guidance!”

“Nah~, that’s the face of someone who’s still hesitating. No no, if everyone
isn’t fully convinced, it’ll lead to weird lingering feelings and stumbling blocks
later~”

“...?”

We couldn’t understand Keisuke’s actions. Why was he encouraging Otome-

senpai’s hesitation when she was already leaning toward his side?

“So, here’s a proposal for SOX.”

Keisuke hid Otome-senpai behind his back and spoke only to us.

“If you want to take Otome-chan back, I’ll make a special exception and let you
compete for her. We’ll put Otome-chan on the line, and you’ll put your radical
indecent magazines on the line, just like yesterday’s baton battle.”

“”What!?””

Otome-senpai and I exclaimed at the same time. Kajou-senpai and Kosuri,

though silent, raised their eyebrows in surprise. I’m guessing based on their
expressions through their panties.

35
“What’s with this sudden challenge, you idiot? What’s your old man thinking?”

I whispered to Kosuri behind me. For a moment, I felt a fierce glare of jealousy
and killing intent from Keisuke, who was facing off against Kajou-senpai, but
compared to Anna-senpai, it was nothing. Ignore, ignore.

“...It’s convenient for showcasing Blue Snow’s charm, but there’s no way there
isn’t a catch. We can’t start without hearing the rules.”

Well, that’s true.

“Let’s hear the details of the challenge. What? First to cum loses or
something?”

Kajou-senpai asked Keisuke with a commanding tone. There’s a better way to

ask...

“Hmm, you seem eager, which makes me happy. The challenge is this.”

Keisuke snapped his fingers, and a black-suited secretary who had been
distributing erotic illustrations brought over a wooden board. On it was
written:

Round 1: "24 Hours You Can’t Laugh at Lewd Jokes" vs. Throbbing Butts

Round 2: "Great Lewd Joke Contest" vs. Absolute Hemlines

Round 3: "Borrowed Item Personification Contest" vs. The Mammals

Round 4: "The Creation Contest" vs. The Bacon Lettuce Mothers' Association

Round 5: "Lewd Hot Springs Ping Pong"

36
...It was carved into the board. When did he prepare this?

“Like yesterday’s baton battle, these are traditional games from the hot
springs town, adapted. Each round will test your lewd joke skills in different
formats, and the first to three wins takes it all. It’s like a vulgar poetry contest.”

Should we apologize to the Heian nobility? (Note: The Heian nobility were known for their
courtly manners & poetry)

“Unlike the baton battle, which tested your terror skills, this is purely about
who loves lewdness more. Each organization’s representatives will directly
face off against SOX. It’s a great way to compete passionately with your lewd
knowledge and jokes!”

“The rules are still unclear. I can’t judge if it’s a good challenge yet.”

“Well, I figured. Then let’s move on to the explanations of each game, along
with introductions of each organization’s representatives. You’ll want to know
the details of the challenges and the strength of your opponents, right?”

Keisuke used his PM’s amplification function to call out, 『Hey everyone~! It’s
self-introduction time~!』 to the members of the Four Major Lewd Joke Terror
Organizations. However,

“”””WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!””””

Everyone was too busy enjoying themselves, and no one responded.

“...Hey, do something about them.”

“Yes.”

37
The secretary, instructed by Keisuke, manipulated his PM to project an image
onto the cliff across the Akegado River. It was,

『──Ha, fu, fu, fun!』

Two sumo wrestlers, drenched in sweat, were grappling. The two wrestlers
were clothed according to the law, but it was still two men breathing heavily
and grappling.

“”””......””””

The men, who had been so excited earlier, suddenly turned serious.

In contrast,

“””””──────!”””””

The members of The Bacon Lettuce Mothers' Association were on the verge
of a mental breakdown from the new excitement. They looked like failed giant
god soldiers. What do we do about this?

『Uh, the two wrestlers currently grappling are both women.』

As I was recoiling, the secretary began explaining the video through the PM.

『Both of them are women.』

“”””......””””

A sacred silence fell over the shrine.

“Now that things have calmed down, let’s continue with the rules explanation.
First, Round 1!”

38
“Hey, you in the black suit. Come here for a second.”

“What do you mean the wrestlers are women? Are you the type to build up and
then drop people? The type who gets cold toward women after doing the
deed? You’re the worst... the worst... the worst…”

“Hey, strip.”
“I’ll allow you to wear shoes, a tie, and a tie pin on your chest protrusions.”
“Huh? Don’t complain. You’re compensating for our deflation, right?”
“Okay everyone, form a circle~. We’ll hold this scum in the middle~.”
“Now everyone, start fantasizing about this guy. On three.”

「「「「「Haa haa haa, slurp... haa, haa, ughhhh」」」」」

“That secretary is in a bad spot... Aren’t you going to help him?”

“Round 1 is as the name suggests. Each side will present lewd jokes based on
the theme, and the first to laugh five times loses. The '24' is a pun and doesn’t
mean anything!”

Ignoring my comment, Keisuke continued.

“Tanukichi. There’s no one in this world who would help a rabbit trapped in a
lion’s cage.”

Kajou-senpai placed her hand on my shoulder and shook her head.

Let’s give a round of applause to the secretary. Being an adult is tough...

(Note: I’m guessing what happened, was Keisuke made his secretary strip, and made a bunch of people
circlejerk on him ¯\_(ツ )_/¯)

“Now, the representative for Round 1, Throbbing Butts, come on out!”

39
At Keisuke’s call, the perverts on the riverbank parted. A large man stepped
forward.

The representative of Throbbing Butts, which is under the Onigashira Group... I

braced myself for the appearance of a super pervert like Ichinose Takuma.

But,

“Hohoho, you called?”

“W-What’s with this divine aura...?”

What appeared before us was an old man with a serene, almost holy
atmosphere, like Kannon Bodhisattva. His clear eyes and pure smile showed
no trace of lewdness. He even seemed to have a halo. (Kannon Bodhisattva is “the
embodiment of compassion and wisdom”)

“It’s him... Throbbing Butts’ top executive, The Abstinent Demon!”

“Blue Snow, do you know him!?”

“Not exactly, but I’ve had some contact with the Four Major Lewd Joke Terror
Organizations before.”

Now that I think about it, Kajou-senpai had traveled across the country to
distribute Yatsuga Forest’s erotic books to the Four Major Lewd Joke Terror
Organizations.

“Don’t be fooled by his pure appearance. He’s Japan’s most craziest man,
concentrating all his mental energy inward by abstaining from appreciating
lewd resources or ejaculating!”

He’s just a no-fap old man!

40
“Hohoho. Spilling one’s impurities outward is a waste of energy. It’s what
monkeys without self-control do. I keep all my energy within, using it for prayer
and gratitude. That’s how enlightenment is achieved. The babbling of the river
and the chirping of birds all become fuel for desires. With it, my imagination
can soar to any height.”

He’s just a pervert whose delusions won’t stop because he’s been no-fapping
for too long!

The complete opposite of Ichinose Takuma. It seems being a pervert isn’t just
about indulging in your sexual desires.

“...Wait, huh? Didn’t this guy just see Otome-senpai’s illustrations...?”

If even the babbling of rivers and chirping of birds can fulfill his desires, then
seeing those illustrations...

“Nngh...!”

At my comment, The Abstinent Demon suddenly knelt on the ground.

“Hohoho, you noticed, didn’t you? Yes, I just succumbed to the gravitational
pull of the young lady’s illustrations and looked at them. Breaking my sixteen-
year abstinence, what a captivating artist!”

The Abstinent Demon groaned as if his energy had been drained, sweat
beading on his forehead.

“I need to change my underwear soon. It’s been feeling gross…”

“...Hey.”

“My underwear is leaking and is unusable now.”

41
“Someone shut this guy up!”

He came from just looking! What’s with this freak!? Die!

As the Abstinent Demon self-destructed on its own, Ayame looked away and
struck a triumphant pose.

"This is convenient. One of the highest-ranking ancient perverts, an 'Ancient

High,' has been taken out."

"All the executives of the four major terror organizations lived in an era before
we were born, a time when wearing PMs wasn’t mandatory, so they have a lot
of original knowledge. Among them, the ones with the most twisted minds
and formidable strength are called 'Ancient Highs.'"

"Huh."

"If one of the Ancient Highs has fallen, our chances of winning this battle have
significantly increased."

"Hohoho, is that so?"

The Abstinent Demon, who had already been incapacitated, smirked.

"We’ve already called in replacements who are no less formidable than me.
Come forth, you all!"

At that moment, five shadows emerged from the crowd.

With sharp movements, they lined up between the Abstinent Demon and us,
striking poses.

"Berobero Yamada!" (Bero Bero: Licking Sound)

42
"Kuchukuchu Sato!" (Kuchu Kuchu: Sound of a “wet pussy”)

"Zukobako Takagi!" (Zuko Bako: name of an orgy porn)

"Dopyudopyu Kojima!" (Dopyu Dopyu: Sound of an ejaculation)

"Bikubiku Tanaka! All five of us together..." (Biku biku: trembling sound)

"The Young Executives of Throbbing Butts!"

What the hell? They sound like they’ve eaten Devil Fruits or something.
(One Piece Reference: Devil Fruits have repetitive sounding names like "Gomu Gomu no mi")

...Wait. The first round is a "don’t laugh" game, right? I’m about to snort
through my nose at these clowns.

They act like college students, but they clearly look like they’re in their
thirties...

"Hoho. Unlike SOX, we have an endless supply of talent. Don’t let your guard
down."

"Tch..."

Ayame grimaced in frustration, but I couldn’t help feeling a lack of tension.

"What kind of name is 'Young Executives'? No sense at all. If there are five of
you, and you’re under the command of the 'Masterbation Failure,' you should
call yourselves the 'Virgin Rangers' or something."

"Blue Snow, that’s not a challenge. They’re enjoying it. Don’t give the enemy
any advantage."

43
"Advantage? I’m not blowing any." (butchered by translation)

"Hey, shut up for a second."

"Alright then, let’s move on to the second round: the Great Lewd Joke
Contest!"

Keisuke smoothly moved things along, and the Throbbing Butts crew also fell
in line. They’re well-trained.

"This is exactly what it sounds like: both sides will present lewd jokes based
on a theme, and we’ll see who’s funnier. Now, let’s call up the representative
from Absolute Hemlines!"

In response to Keisuke’s flippant call, a shabby-looking salaryman-like man

stepped forward. His face was hidden behind a hyottoko mask, but his lack of
presence was unmistakable.

"...? He’s not an Ancient High?"

Ayame frowned as she looked at the Absolute Hemlines representative.

"That’s strange. The top executive of Absolute Hemlines was supposed to be

a man called The Two-Legged Beast."

"Hello. I’m the representative of Absolute Hemlines, The Two-Legged

Employee."

The man, who seemed to be the representative, handed us his business card
with a low bow.

Huh? What? Why is this guy, a member of an anti-social group, acting like he’s
been corporate-trained? Is this normal? Is handing out business cards to
strangers a habit? Does he want to get arrested?

44
"Now, onto the third round: the Borrowed Item Personification Contest!"

Without showing any perverted threats, The Two-Legged Corporate Slave

quietly left the stage. As he left, he muttered something like, "I just want to hit
a drum or something." He must be stressed out. ...Wait, isn’t "drum" a term for
chicken legs? ...Nah, I’m overthinking it. Haha. Stress is scary.

"The Borrowed Item Personification Contest is a game where you bring items
from Akekado Hot Springs and compete to see who can personify them in the
most lewd and clever way. Creativity and physical strength are key. Now, let’s
call up the representative!"

When the representative for the third round, The Mammals, appeared, I
couldn’t help but exclaim.

"Ah. That’s the girl..."

It was the girl I had a one-on-one battle with during last night’s "penis relay
game."

With her face hidden behind a fox mask, she approached us expressionlessly
and gave a formal bow.

"The Mammals aren’t sending out their Ancient High either. This might be..."

Ayame crossed her arms, deep in thought. Meanwhile, Kosuri, who had been
knocked out behind me, started moving. "That idiot... His eyes look cloudier
than yesterday..." he groaned.

"Hey, you with the flat chest. Wait up."

Suddenly, Kosuri hurled harsh insults at the Mammals representative. What’s

her deal?

45
The girl, who had been about to leave after finishing her duty, stopped in her
tracks.

"The representative of The Mammals is a joke. What’s with that pitiful build?
Did you join the wrong organization?"

The girl began to radiate killing intent, and Kosuri smirked defiantly, creating
an uneasy atmosphere.

Then, a man’s voice rang out from the crowd of perverts.

"Objection. She is undoubtedly a member of The Mammals."

"Our top executive, The Breasts Enthusiast, always says: 'We seek only
massive breasts. Those who get excited over small breasts are not truly
aroused by the breasts themselves, but by the potential, the shyness of a
young girl, or the symbolic nature of youth. We, however, purely desire
bountiful breasts. That is why we are The Mammals.'"

What the hell. I might actually get along with The Mammals. Breasts are
bouncy, hence, breasts exist.

"Our representative, despite her lack of size, seeks abundance. Though the
form is different, her aspirations are the same. Moreover, she can work with
us purely as a comrade without becoming an object of our lust. You said she
joined the wrong organization? If she had joined Absolute Hemlines based on
her physical appeal—"

As the man spoke, The Two-Legged Corporate Slave appeared next to the girl.

"Excuse me, miss, may I hit your drum?"

46
He clasped his hands together toward the girl, who kicked him away in
disgust.

"Thank you!"

As he spoke, he lightly slapped the girl’s calf in a counter move.

...I thought he was just a background character, but that old man is no joke.
Wait, all these old men are cutting through flesh and breaking bones. Is this
what happens when you enter society?

"—Thus, it would be difficult for her to continue her terrorist activities. She is
undoubtedly a member of The Mammals."

"...That’s not what I meant when I said she joined the wrong organization..."

Kosuri lost her momentum from the interruption and retreated with a click of
her tongue.

The girl also muttered, "Everyone’s just spouting nonsense..." in a gloomy

voice behind her fox mask as she left.

"This might be a more favorable situation than I thought."

Ayame crossed her arms and smirked. "How so?" I asked.

"Neither Absolute Hemlines nor The Mammals are sending out their Ancient
Highs for this lewd joke battle. It seems they’re not fully under Keisuke’s
control yet. Are they testing us? Do they think Throbbing Butts and The Bacon
Lettuce Mothers' Association are enough? Or are they just not motivated?
Either way, it’s a good opportunity for us to gain an advantage before facing
that woman from The Bacon Lettuce Mothers' Association."

"That woman...?"

47
I sensed something ominous in Ayame’s tone, but Keisuke continued before I
could ask.

"Now, onto the fourth round: The Creation Contest! This is where you create
lewd pairings based on a theme and compete to see who can come up with
the most clever interactions. The Bacon Lettuce Mothers' Association, you’re
up!"

At that moment.

"...!?"

The atmosphere changed drastically. No, it perverted.

Even the Young Executives of Throbbing Butts, who had been lively just
moments ago, shrunk back as if facing something terrifying.

The members of The Bacon Lettuce Mothers' Association, who had been lost
in their fantasies, suddenly fell silent and bowed their heads respectfully.
From the depths of the darkness where even the light of the lanterns couldn’t
reach...

A woman emerged, wearing an extravagant dress that flared out at the hips,
with bras stacked on her head. She carried a bright red dictionary in her arms.

Even from a distance, her overwhelming aura of depravity was palpable. With
each step, it felt as if mushrooms and slime molds were growing beneath her
feet.

She stopped next to a black-suited man who had been freed from the
fantasies of The Bacon Lettuce Mothers' Association members. She leaned in
close to his ear and whispered something.

48
"---Ugh, gah!?"

The black-suited man trembled violently and collapsed on the spot.

"What the...? Did she just suck the life out of him...? Is she some new god?"

"Few can maintain their sanity after hearing her fantasies. ...Here she comes.
The top executive of The Bacon Lettuce Mothers' Association, the strongest,
most wicked Ancient High: The Love Machine."

Cold sweat dripped down Ayame’s neck, even as she tried to remain
composed.

"..."

The Love Machine stood before us and slowly opened the dictionary.

After briefly scanning the page, she spoke.

"Fermat's Last Theorem."

She uttered the fragmented words.

"X!"

Her eyes, visible through the mask, emitted an intense aura, making the
dictionary seem to glow.

"The Taika Reforms."

She spoke another meaningless phrase. Her face, half-covered by the mask,
twisted into a lewd grin.

49
"...Huh?"

What is she even saying...?

As I stood there dumbfounded, The Love Machine repeated the same action.

"Gender Equality Participation Society. ×! Memories of a Rainy Day."

"A Hole in the Wall. ×! A Cloudless Blue Sky Classroom."

"A Worn-Out Eraser. ×! Typhoon Number 28."

"Three. ×! Eight."

After listing a series of random words and grinning to herself, she closed the
dictionary and returned to the riverbank.

What the...? At least speak proper Japanese... The last one was just
multiplication...

As I stood there in confusion, Ayame muttered beside me.

"That woman just simulated the entire backstory and conclusion of every
pairing she listed in an instant. And she even included the reversed roles."

"Wha...!? What kind of skewed supercomputer-like calculation ability is that?"

I don’t get it. The pairings she listed were all over the place!

"Honestly, beating her will be tough. That’s why it’s good that the Ancient
Highs didn’t show up for the first three rounds. If we play our cards right, we
might not have to face The Love Machine at all, and we can secure some wins

50
before the fifth round. ...Wait, who’s going to represent Keisuke’s side in the
fifth round?"

As Ayame tilted her head in thought, Keisuke continued with a smirk.

"Now, for the final fifth round: the Lewd Hot Springs Ping Pong Contest! Best
of three. All four major terror organizations are eligible to participate."

"Huh!?"

Everyone? Are you kidding me?

And with those rules, The Love Machine can participate in the fifth round too.

"Don’t panic. I’ll explain the details later, but the fifth round is technically a
sports event. Us old folks can’t handle the physical strain. To make the final
battle more exciting, I’ve made it a free-for-all with unlimited substitutions.
How about it?"

How about it, my ass.

It’s probably the same as the "penis relay" game, where numbers and
resources are part of the organization’s strength.

Ayame seemed to sense this too and reluctantly accepted the conditions.
"Fine."

"Then, do you accept this challenge?"

Keisuke asked provocatively. Ayame glared at him and said, "You forgot the
most important explanation."

"How will the winner be decided?"

51
"Huh? I already explained. Whoever presents the better lewd joke wins."

"Don’t play dumb like The Masterbation Failure. The first round is one thing,
but the second, third, and fourth rounds are all subjective. Even the fifth round
could result in penalties if the responses aren’t approved. ...You’re not
planning to use a majority vote, are you?"

Keisuke smirked at Ayame’s sharp questioning.

"Majority vote? Of course."

"...! That’s not fair!"

As I was about to protest, Keisuke cut me off by placing a hand on Otome’s

shoulder.

"However, the judge will be Otome. She’ll be the main referee for all the
matches. You all know how sharp her observational skills are, right? She’ll be
able to sense how the members of the terror organizations feel about the lewd
jokes presented. She’ll judge the majority vote fairly. But, well..."

Keisuke’s eyes gleamed like a snake’s.

"If Otome leans toward one organization, the judgments might become
biased. But that’s unavoidable, right?"

"..."

I finally understood Keisuke’s plan.

He’s going to crush SOX completely here, making Otome fully submit to him.

By stripping us of our will to fight in this official battle, he’ll force Otome to
choose to sever ties with SOX.
52
He might even be hoping that Kosuri will lose faith in SOX after this.

"So, what will you do?"

Keisuke asked gently, as if giving us a choice, but not allowing us time to

think.

"This is a gamble."

Kosuri, still lying on the ground, spoke up.

"Convincing Otome would be ideal, but this situation is too risky."

Kosuri and I whispered to each other.

If we accept Keisuke’s challenge, Ayame’s passion for lewd jokes will shine.

But if we fail to sway Otome, not only will we lose her, but we’ll also lose our
erotic materials. It’s all or nothing.

Moreover, the members of the four major terror organizations lived in an era
before we were born, a time when sexual knowledge was freely accessible.
They’re legendary perverts.

Especially that Love Machine woman. She’s on a whole other level.

Keisuke has been meticulously planning Otome’s capture, and he’s brought
out this pervert at the perfect moment to crush us. Her strength is undeniable.

Even if Ayame is a once-in-a-generation pervert, there’s no guarantee we’ll win.

53
And with Otome already leaning toward Keisuke’s side, it’s questionable
whether she can judge fairly.

Do we even have a chance? Will this even be a fair fight?

Kosuri and I exchanged glances, searching for a conclusion. Then...

"Fine. We’ll take on this challenge."

Ayame, who had been facing Keisuke, declared loudly.

"Wait, Blue Snow!?"

Her immediate decision left Kosuri and me scrambling to stop her. But...

"Get ready, you two. Like when you’re faced with a stunning beauty who’s
contracted an STD."

Ayame’s eyes were already fixed straight ahead.

"What we’re doing is no different from before. Just like how we spread sexual
knowledge to the students of Tokioka Academy and let them choose whether
to sign the petition, we’ll show Otome what SOX is all about and let her
choose. Which organization will she join? Which ideology will she embrace?"

Then she turned to us and smiled.

"Even if erotic materials didn’t work, as long as you’re with me, we’ll figure it
out. I’m not alone anymore."

"...Hey, Kosuri."

"Yeah?"

54
"We’re going to win. We’ll support Blue Snow with everything we’ve got."

"Stop stating the obvious. Just don’t drag us down. With my producing skills, I
can turn a group of 48+ amateurs into Japan’s top idols."

Stop exaggerating.

“It seems we’ve settled everything. Well then, let’s start the first round right
away.”

“Huh? W-Wait, already!?”

“Nooo, I’m not mentally prepared yet~ .…By the way, the sound that comes out
when you plug in a power cord is clearly intentional, right? Plus, it’s basically a
default two-hole assault.”

As I raised my voice in protest, Kajou Ayame chimed in with her usual teasing,
and Keisuke snapped his fingers.

The members of the Four Major Lewd Joke Terror Organizations, gathered by
the riverside, moved to create a semicircular space in front of the shrine.

The black-suited attendants, who had been waiting on the side, began laying
out the tatami mats that had been piled inside the shrine onto the open space.

“This Akekado Hot Springs is pretty much the only place where over four
hundred of us can gather all at once, and in secret too. But this hidden shrine
only appears for a few hours a day, and only for about a week. If we want to
get through all five rounds, we’ll have to hurry a bit.”

I thought, Why not just reduce the number of spectators from the terror
organizations? But it seemed Keisuke and the others had positioned this
match as a public execution for SOX, so more spectators were preferable.

55
“Well then, let’s start the first round, the ‘Game You Can’t Laugh at Lewd
Jokes.’ The first round doesn’t really involve judges or anything, so Otome,
why don’t you take it easy and watch as a trial run~”

“U-Understood.”

Keisuke, grinning ear to ear, and Otome Saotome, still looking confused, took
their seats on the two thrones set up in the shrine.

“Dammit, they’re completely controlling the pace.”

I muttered under my breath as I chased after Ayame, who was striding

confidently toward the battlefield while carrying Kosuri, who still hadn’t fully
recovered from the mental damage caused by her father’s perverted antics.

On the tatami mats, Berobero Yamada, Kuchukuchu Sato, Zukobako Takagi,

Dopyudopyu Kojima, and Bikubiku Tanaka were already seated formally.

‘The Game You Can’t Laugh at Lewd Jokes’ is a game that can have up to five
participants. You take turns answering what a randomly selected three-letter
acronym stands for, trying to make the other team laugh! For example, if the
theme is ‘LED,’ you could say something like ‘Loves Enormous D-cups.’ The
first team to laugh five times loses~.

As I listened to Keisuke’s explanation of the rules through the PM’s

amplification function, we also sat formally on the tatami mats. Kosuri’s neck
was still wobbly, so I let her lie down and nap.

“We can’t afford to lose the first round. It’s a competition that doesn’t rely on
subjective judgment, and more importantly, if we don’t win here, we’ll definitely
end up facing the Love Machine in the final round.”

Ayame muttered while staring straight ahead.

56
The first round had already become a life-or-death battle for SOX.

But well, with Ayame here, we probably wouldn’t lose.

I sent a glance her way, and as if to say, Leave it to me, she laughed and
slapped her lower abdomen. She was totally in the zone.

‘Well then, let’s announce the first theme. Here, Judge.’

“Huh? M-Me?”

‘Of course~. Fairness is important, after all~.’

Keisuke held up what looked like a lottery box and had Otome pull out a piece
of paper. It seemed they were using that to decide the three-letter acronym.

‘The first theme is~ ‘FAQ’!

“Yes! ‘FUCK!’”

Ayame, who had disabled her PM at Mach speed, answered without

hesitation.

“Hey, Blue Snow! That’s not following the rules—”

“Buhoh!”

‘Zukobako Takagi, out~.’

As Keisuke announced, the scoreboard projected on the cliff across the river
updated with ‘Throbbing Butts: Minus one point.’

57
‘Well~, that answer was honestly outside the rules, but it’s okay, right, Judge?’

‘Um. It was forceful, but the members were so impressed they lost their
composure. Combined with the element of surprise, it counts as Blue Snow’s
strategic victory.’

Despite saying she’d take it easy and watch, Otome was clearly observing
closely.

She had smoothly taken on the role of commentator.

“…Well, it worked out in the end, but that was pretty bold, Blue Snow.”

I gave her a half-exasperated, half-impressed look, and Ayame leaned back

with a smug expression.

“Since the first team to make the other laugh five times wins, it’s better to take
the initiative. Besides, this five-round battle is ultimately about proving which
organization is more impressive, right? Showing off that we can disable PMs
is also part of the strategy. …Though, I’ve used up all my disable time for today
with that answer.”

“That’s because you disable your PM so carelessly all the time! Are you going
to be okay from now on?”

“What are you saying, you fool?”

Ayame smirked defiantly.

“Do you think my lewd jokes will lose their edge just because I can’t disable
my PM anymore?”

Man, she’s saying crazy things, but she’s weirdly cool.

58
‘Blue Snow, out~.’

“Huh!?”

Ayame shouted in protest at the sudden ruling.

“Don’t mess with me! Throbbing Butts hasn’t even answered the theme yet!”

‘Huh~? Didn’t I say~? The first team to laugh five times loses. You were
laughing just now, weren’t you?’

You should’ve explained that earlier, you idiot! But since Otome, the head
judge, had ruled that ‘it seemed to lack tension,’ SOX was now at minus one
point.

“Ugh, this is so frustrating… Blue Snow, please be careful. This is a serious

battle.”

“Of course. But well, it wouldn’t be fun if we were too tense, right?”

As Ayame glanced over, I saw the five executives of Throbbing Butts ganging
up on Zukobako Takagi.

“You… How dare you burst out laughing at something so trivial…?”

“If we lose this battle, we’ll have to say goodbye to those wonderful lewd
illustrations.”

“You’ve disgraced the Five Executives. A penalty is necessary.”

“Hohoho. Zukobako Takagi… Starting tomorrow, you’ll live a life of abstinence

with me. That way, you’ll understand just how precious the things you’re
fighting for are.”

59
“Eek! Abstinent Demon-sama, please, anything but abstinence together…!”

The Five Executives and the Abstinent Demon were relentlessly berating
Zukobako Takagi.

Even Throbbing Butts and The Bacon Lettuce Mothers’ Association, who
weren’t participating in the match, were booing loudly. They must’ve been
completely captivated by Otome’s lewd illustrations, as their eyes were glued
to the scene, and their jeers were fierce.

The Abstinent Demon, in particular, seemed to be in a state of Asura-like

frenzy, perhaps due to the backlash from breaking her sixteen-year streak of
abstinence.

‘Alright, alright, you guys. Before your internal squabble, how about answering
the ‘FAQ’ theme?’

Keisuke, growing impatient, urged them on.

Zukobako Takagi, pressured into seizing the chance for a comeback, raised
his hand.

“…Uh, ‘Fair lady, step on me with All your love Quickly’ ”

Hey, did your brain just fully turn into a masochist after that earlier scolding?

Well, anyway, with a response like that, I couldn’t even muster a reflexive
retort, let alone laugh, given how used I was to Ayame’s perverted antics. This
round was ours.

“…Pfft.”

‘Blue Snow, out~.’

60
“Wha—!? Blue Snow!?”

“No, uh, I’m really sorry. I just, kinda, hit my funny bone. I’ll make a proper
comeback, I promise!”

Ayame trembled all over as she clasped her hands together.

Oh no, don’t tell me…

‘Well then. Both teams have answered, so let’s move on to the next theme.
Here, Otome.’

Unfazed by our unexpected loss of points, Keisuke calmly continued the

match.

‘This time’s theme is~~ ‘WHO’!

“Yes! ‘White Hot Outburst!’”

“Buhoh!”

‘Dopyudopyu Kojima, out~.’

Ayame, true to her word, destroyed the enemy’s abs with a rapid-fire response.
But…

“…Pfft.”

‘Blue Snow, out~.’

“Hey, Blue Snow! Self-destructing isn’t allowed!”

61
“No, but, like, the World Health Organization being white, hot, and bursting
out… I couldn’t help but think that was kinda amazing.”

“You’re the one who came up with it! Isn’t the first round supposed to be
crucial!? Get it together!”

“This battle is important, sure. I’m serious about it. But you know what? I love
lewd jokes more than anything! I just realized I can’t help but grin at them! It’s
impossible not to!”

Dammit! I knew it!

Crap, Ayame’s the only one who can come up with lewd jokes that’ll make the
enemy laugh… This is like Megante or something! (Megante is a suicide technique in the
game Dragon Quest)

While we were bickering, Dopyudopyu Kojima, who had apparently finished his
moment of reflection, raised his hand.

“‘WHO’ stands for ‘my Willy Has grown Overwhelmingly’ ”

Seriously, your answers are way too pathetic.

“…Pfft.”

‘Blue Snow, out~.’

Seriously, your threshold for laughing is way too low, senpai!

“Tch. N-Not bad, Throbbing Butts…!”

Ayame groaned, her face twisted as she tried to hold back her laughter. I
wanted to smack her.

62
Throbbing Butts was already at minus two points, while SOX was at minus
four, just one point away from losing. This was way too fast. We’re totally
screwed, aren’t we?

“Hey, Tanukichi. What are you doing?”

Kosuri, who had been lying limp and motionless, tugged at my sleeve.

“You can’t just leave all the answering to Blue Snow-sama and then complain.
Weren’t you supposed to be supporting her?”

I didn’t want to hear that from Kosuri, who had turned completely useless, but
she was absolutely right. …That said, it’d be tough for me to step in and start
spouting lewd jokes in Ayame’s place.

Lately, I’ve gotten a lot more relaxed, but I still have the habit of reflexively
biting back at lewd jokes or perverted stuff. For me to start spouting lewd
jokes in front of such a large crowd… There’s no way I could do that.

“…Wait.”

My sense of shame had been worn down to a pretty questionable level after
all the training I’d been through.

Plus, I was currently in an anonymous state, wearing panties on my head,

surrounded by perverts. Maybe I could do it now.

Maybe I could confidently unleash lewd jokes like Ayame.

“…Blue Snow. Let me handle the next theme. You focus on not laughing, or
even better, try not to think about anything lewd at all.”

“Huh? Are you telling me to die?”

63
“Was that such a difficult request!? Just leave it to me, okay!? I’ll definitely
come up with an answer like yours and take them down!”

“…Like mine, huh…”

Ayame made a face that was a mix of relief and exasperation.

“Fine. Do as you please. I’ll turn into a tuna for now.”

With that, Ayame pressed her lips together and stopped moving.

Ayame still seemed uneasy about leaving it to me, but I’ve grown a lot over
this summer break.

I’ll support Ayame, who’s not well-suited for this game, and somehow get
through this.

‘Well then, the next theme is~~ ‘ATM’.’

ATM… What would Ayame say…?

As I pondered over the new theme Keisuke had presented,

“Yes.”

Bikubiku Tanaka, the most composed of the Five Executives, raised his hand.

“‘ATM’ stands for ‘an Athlete’s sweaty T-shirt is Mesmerizing’”

Ayame’s cheek twitched. But it seemed she managed to hold on.

Ayame was doing her best. I desperately racked my brain.

64
…That’s right. If I tweak the lewd joke Ayame mentioned this morning…

“Yes! ‘ATM’ stands for ‘i Adore Tasting boner milk in the Morning!’ ”

As if breaking free from my habit of rejecting lewd jokes, like that one time in
Yatsuga Forest when I exploded for just a moment, I shouted at the top of my
lungs.

“…Gulp.”

And the one who burst out laughing was none other than Ayame.

“No, this is different! It’s just that your answer was so passionate it reached
the depths of my heart! I couldn’t stay a tuna!”

Ayame desperately tried to explain with an exaggerated tone.

“Besides, holding back laughter at lewd jokes is a one-time thing at best!”

And then she gave up… My mood went beyond Super Angry to Super Horny—
abbreviated as SH. …Wait what am I even thinking?

‘Alright, that’s it~. The first round goes to Throbbing Butts.’

““““WOOOOOH!””””

The moment Keisuke announced it, Throbbing Butts and The Bacon Lettuce
Mothers’ Association erupted into a deafening victory cry.

And as if timing it perfectly, copies of Otome’s latest lewd illustrations, which

had been kept hidden as a reward, were handed out.

65
The Five Executives, who had directly defeated us, even made direct requests
to Otome, and upon receiving the supreme illustrations, they immediately
entered a state of ecstasy.

Damn, they’re good.

“Um… I’m really sorry. I’ve never experienced a place where people could so
confidently exchange lewd jokes, so I kinda got really into it…”

Ayame hung her head in shame. Ugh, seeing her so genuinely apologetic…

“W-Well, this time the competition just didn’t suit us! It’s clear that Blue Snow -
sama’s level far surpasses theirs, and the fact that this guy can actually come
up with lewd jokes instead of just being a numbers filler is a win in itself!”

Kosuri, still lying down, pointed at me while defending Ayame.

Well, she’s not wrong. If it weren’t for Ayame, we wouldn’t have been able to
take any points from the enemy at all.

“It’s okay. I’m worried about the Love Machine, but as long as Blue Snow is
here, we can win. We believe in you.”

That woman’s pervertedness is beyond comprehension. But our leader is also

a crazy charismatic figure who challenges the world out of her love for lewd
jokes.

She’ll definitely overwhelm the members of the Four Major Lewd Joke Terror
Organizations and Otome, drawing them in.

Just like she drew us in.

“…Yeah, you’re right. Thank you.”

66
At my and Kosuri’s words, Ayame nodded firmly.

‘Well then, that concludes the first round. We’ll disband for now. The second
round will be held tomorrow at the same time, around sunset. Don’t be late~.’

At Keisuke’s instruction, the members of the Four Major Lewd Joke Terror
Organizations dispersed into the hidden passages they had presumably come
through. Then, two figures approached us.

“Hohoho. You were so confident when you challenged us, but look at the state
you’re in. As expected, you’re nothing special. To think you could oppose
Keisuke-sama’s plans, how presumptuous.”

The Abstinent Demon, who had stuffed Otome’s lewd illustrations into his
pockets and clothes, taunted us with a triumphant look. …This guy’s definitely
not abstaining anymore.

And next to him, the Love Machine, radiating an overwhelming presence,

stared at us.

“Still immature.”

She coldly declared from behind her mask.

“…What’s wrong with enjoying lewd jokes!? You guys! I’ll beat your—no, not
that, I’ll beat your excretory holes and wait for you! We won’t lose!”

Ayame shouted in frustration, her face twisted in anger as the two ancient
perverts of the highest caliber walked away.

She probably wanted to say, I’ll beat your asses and wait for you! What are you
planning to do, senpai?

67
“Sigh… Well, let’s head back. We need to prepare for the next rounds and deal
with Anna.”

Following Ayame’s instructions, we left the hidden shrine.

It was a bad start, but… as long as Ayame is here, SOX will be fine.

I told myself that as I turned my back on Otome, who was happily chatting
with Keisuke.

It’s okay. Our leader, Blue Snow, won’t lose.

She’s the one who will change this world, the person I admire so much, with
power far beyond my reach.

“—Wait, huh? Where did Kosuri go in that dazed state?”

“As always, they’re so annoying…”

Yutori Nuregoromo, waiting in line to return to the hot spring town from the
hidden shrine, spat out in frustration as she watched the group of Throbbing
Butts and The Bacon Lettuce Mothers’ Association members causing a
ruckus around Keisuke and Otome.

Even in an era before Yutori and his generation were born, when expression
regulations were more relaxed, these people would undoubtedly have
meticulously applied mosaics to lewd illustrations. Yet here they were, their
faces frozen in ecstasy as they indulged in the erotic artwork, praising Otome
Saotome as if she were a goddess.

The young members of Absolute Hemlines and The Mammals, whom Yutori
had brought here under her command, were also engrossed in the lewd

68
illustrations. However, none of them displayed such shameless behavior for
such an extended period. In fact, they were already quietly making their way
home, prioritizing the disbandment order issued by Keisuke Onigashira.

Prioritizing their own desires above all else was a defining characteristic of
Throbbing Butts and The Bacon Lettuce Mothers' Association. Their
organizational policy focused on monopolizing the scarce erotic resources
and enjoying them among themselves, with no regard for spreading sexual
knowledge. While they occasionally took actions against the Decency Squad
under the grand banner of being anti-establishment, most of their activities
were nothing more than nuisance acts that garnered no support from anyone.
Yet, somehow, they had mastered a cunning and cautious approach that
made them appear, from a distance, like a legitimate lewd joke terrorist
organization. This was precisely what made them so troublesome.

In reality, they were very similar to White Peak, led by Takuma Ichinose. This
was why they got along so well with Keisuke Onigashira.

The Onigashira Group formed one of Japan's largest trading conglomerates,

giving them the authority to self-censor most of the erotic resources
smuggled into the country by overseas anti-Public Order and Morals
Preservation Act forces. While it was said that all confiscated erotic materials
were handed over to the Decency Squad, no one knew how much of it was
secretly used as bribes for Throbbing Butts, The Bacon Lettuce Mothers'
Association, and other influential figures.

In return, to fulfill their grand anti-establishment agenda, Throbbing Butts and

The Bacon Lettuce Mothers' Association repeatedly carried out disruptive acts
of terrorism. Their goal was to further tighten regulations on sexual
expression and accelerate the "natural collapse of a wholesome society" that
Keisuke envisioned.

In fact, their impeccable coordination had steadily accelerated the "natural

collapse of a wholesome society." By halting the influx of erotic resources
from overseas, the spread of sexual knowledge stagnated even further. By

69
tarnishing the image of lewd joke terrorists, they reinforced the societal notion
that "sex = evil."

Bad rumors spread quickly. If one out of a hundred people is black, the entire
group is seen as black. Indeed, even the members of SOX, who were opposed
to Yutori and his generation, were likely lumped together with the notorious
images of Throbbing Butts and The Bacon Lettuce Mothers' Association, the
two most infamous of the Four Major Lewd Joke Terror Organizations. It was
doubtful whether they even paid attention to Absolute Hemlines and The
Mammals.

Just the other day, a massive signature campaign was launched for the
absurd X Prohibition Law. It gained such momentum largely due to the behind -
the-scenes collaboration between Matsukage Nishikinomiya and Keisuke
Onigashira. Throbbing Butts and The Bacon Lettuce Mothers' Association, led
by Keisuke, spread negative stereotypes about those with sexual knowledge,
while the Nishikinomiya couple proposed the X Prohibition Law as a "solution."
It was nothing short of a farce.

Following the major incident caused by White Peak, the political push to
strengthen regulations on sexual expression had gained renewed momentum.
This was just an extension of the same trend.

The Yutori generation, manipulated by the selfish desires and schemes of

these groups, were nothing more than pawns in a meaningless image game.
They were the clowns of this circus.

"No wonder you're pissed," a voice said. "Your generation ended up bearing
the burden of all the fallout because those guys acted on their selfish desires.
I still don't get it, though. Why would anyone from your generation side with
those lunatics who treat you like the enemy?"

Standing next to Yutori, who was glaring gloomily at the group surrounding
Otome Saotome, was a girl who had appeared out of nowhere. Her
condescending tone was familiar—it was Kosuri Onigashira, Keisuke's only
daughter.

70
"Don't talk to me. People will think I'm a traitor," Yutori muttered.

"Traitor, huh?" Kosuri looked up at her with her usual lecherous gaze. "In SOX,
no one ever called our artist by that name. Of course, I don't get why anyone
would leave such a fun organization, but I don't have any particular feelings
toward that artist. If anything, I'm just glad there's one less rival vying for the
affection of Blue Snow-sama. Hehehe."

"Your crisis management is a joke. You don't even realize how much damage
a leak could do to the organization. Retaliation against traitors is only natural."

"A space where leaving comes with penalties is no different from a prison.
Seriously, I still don't get why you're on your dad's side. Let me say it again—
are you sure you're in the right organization?"

Yutori sighed, exasperated by Kosuri's provocative tone. "I explained it to you

yesterday."

"Like father, like daughter, huh? Just like that self-proclaimed 'Forest Fairy' old
man tried to seduce the artist, you're trying to seduce me without a care in the
world, aren't you?"

At Yutori’s remark, Kosuri Onigashira dropped to one knee, gasping, “Guh…!” It

seemed she still hadn’t fully processed the revelation about her father’s sexual
proclivities that had been thrust upon her just moments ago.

“Well, I guess that’s how you’d take it. I already knew yesterday that you
weren’t gonna get it,” Kosuri said, her tone dripping with sarcasm.

“Then why’d you come to talk to me again today?”

“Hmm? Maybe to get back at you, to mess with you a little. You know, like,
‘Hey, how does it feel to be on the side that’s making things worse, after

71
joining a terrorist organization to save yourself and your friends from the harm
and slander caused by the Public Order and Morals Preservation Act?’ Y’know,
just to twist the knife a little.”

Yutori was at a loss for words as he looked down at Kosuri. He deeply

regretted having told her about his past the previous night, especially to this
persistent and perverse girl.

Yutori had become a member of The Mammals, one of Japan’s Four Major
Lewd Joke Terror Organizations, about a year and a half ago, during her third
year of middle school. She had joined in response to the signature campaign
led by Sophia Nishikinomiya in support of the X Prohibition Law, which the
organization was trying to crush. At the time, they were also recruiting new
members, and Yutori had taken the opportunity.

Before that, Yutori had secretly received several offers from lewd joke terrorist
organizations due to her family’s background in dairy farming. However, she
had always refused, not wanting to cause trouble for her family or fellow
farmers. The reason she finally accepted the offer in her third year of middle
school was entirely because of her.

Around the time Yutori entered middle school, which had the worst reputation
for discipline, the lack of sexual knowledge among the students began to lead
to bizarre behavior. In cities not designated as “clean and beautiful,” where
regulations on sexual expression and adult guidance were less strict, children
would act on fragmented knowledge they’d picked up or expand on behaviors
they found pleasurable by chance.

There were cases of boys getting stuck in tree holes or their own excretory
orifices, only to be hauled off by the Decency Squad, effectively ending their
lives. Such incidents were becoming more frequent.

Kosuri had doubted Yutori’s claims, thinking she was exaggerating, but it was
all true.

72
Once a child was tainted by sexual knowledge, they were branded as
irredeemable and abandoned by their parents, ending up in state-run care
facilities. Among the students who had been arrested by the Decency Squad
and never returned were many of Yutori’s friends, including boys she had been
close to before she stopped associating with males altogether. The number
was significant.

Yutori had been in no position to warn her friends, “If you do that, you’ll get
arrested,” as they spiraled into strange behaviors. Spreading sexual
knowledge was taboo, and for Yutori, who had already faced discrimination
due to her family’s background, it was unthinkable.

Throughout middle school, Yutori had been forced to prove her own innocence
by catching troublemakers alongside Tanukichi Okuma, all while abandoning
her friends one by one.

“Are we just going to keep being treated as villains by the Public Order and
Morals Preservation Act, getting hurt over and over? Are we going to be turned
into villains without even knowing it and thrown into the trash heap?”

These questions had been simmering in Yutori’s mind until they finally
exploded in his third year of middle school, when she learned about the future
plans of someone she cared about.

“I’m aiming for Tokioka Academy. There’s someone I admire there.”

That person’s eyes were filled with love, though whether they realized it
themselves was unclear. But Yutori knew she couldn’t get any closer to
Tanukichi.

Tanukichi’s father was a legendary criminal, but Tanukichi himself was

perfectly well-behaved, and his mother was a prominent figure in the Decency
Squad. With enough effort, Tanukichi still had a chance to get into the
academy.

73
But if a girl from a dairy farming family like Yutori were to get involved with
someone in such a delicate position—especially if she were to confess her
feelings—it would only cause trouble. For someone like Yutori, who was
destined to be seen as “unwholesome” from birth, getting too close would
only make things worse.

After abandoning so many friends, Yutori finally decided to cut off her own
feelings as well.

“We’re just going to keep being treated as villains without even knowing it,
losing everything, and never being able to honestly tell someone how we feel.”

This conviction drove Yutori to action.

“I’m going to destroy this world that only screws over our generation.” With
that determination, she knocked on the door of The Mammals.

Yutori had chosen The Mammals because she believed the organization,
alongside Absolute Hemlines, aimed to bring about a wholesome societal
transformation through the spread of sexual knowledge.

As Yutori had expected, The Mammals was dedicated to spreading sexual

knowledge. Fueled by her heartbreak and newfound determination, Yutori
threw herself into her role as a lewd joke terrorist, excelling in her missions.

But—

Yutori averted his gaze from Kosuri’s mocking grin and looked at the core
members of The Mammals and Absolute Hemlines under her command. They
were all young, their eyes as lifeless as dead fish, even through their masks.
The only one who seemed somewhat lively was The Two-Legged Employee,
the oldest among the representatives, but even that was only relative.

74
“Hey, Kosuri. You were just trying to shake me, the commander of The
Mammals and Absolute Hemlines, to gain some advantage in the second and
third rounds, weren’t you?”

Kosuri stuck out her tongue and mocked her, “Blah blah blah.”

“If that’s the case, you’re wasting your time. SOX is going to win the second
and third rounds anyway.”

Yutori looked down at the damp ground, wet from the rising waters of the
Akekado River.

“Keisuke’s counting on that too. He’s sure that with that monster Love
Machine on their side, they’ll win.”

“…Yeah, I figured as much,” Kosuri said, but then she laughed. However, her
laughter wasn’t the usual lecherous kind—it was the genuine, age-appropriate
laughter of someone truly enjoying themselves.

“But our boss isn’t gonna lose. They’re the kind of people even I can’t fully
understand, no matter what they do.”

“…They?”

Was that a slip of the tongue? As Yutori tilted his head in confusion, Kosuri
returned to her usual sarcastic tone. “Well, I shouldn’t stick around too long.
Don’t wanna get treated like a traitor by the poor, pitiful organization you’re
part of. I’ll be heading back to SOX now.”

As she walked away, Yutori muttered, “…Even though they lost, they sure
looked like they were having fun.”

For a moment, Yutori felt something like sparks scatter in her chest, but they
quickly faded into the mist, disappearing from view.

75
------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 5: The Matured Two

"──So, that's the strategy for rounds two through five, along with the plan to
deal with Anna. Any objections?"

After returning from the hidden shrine to Kiyomonsou Inn, we soaked in the
hot springs to calm our nerves, then gathered in my room, the
"Chrysanthemum Room," to discuss our future plans.

Kajou Ayame, having thoroughly read the detailed rules for rounds two
through five sent to Kosuri's PM, presented our upcoming strategy.

In summary, the plan was to evenly distribute the members of SOX, including
me and Kosuri, across the various competitions. Since we needed to
reintroduce SOX as a lewd joke terrorist organization to Saotome Otome,
Ayame's decision to have the full team participate was undoubtedly sound.

However, Kosuri and I exchanged glances and were pretty much against
Ayame's plan.

"For the competitions, Ayame should be the main participant. Especially in the
third round, where only one person can compete. Sending Kosuri? Sure, her
personality is bottom-tier, but that doesn't mean she's good at lewd jokes."

"Yeah, we should go with the person who has the highest chance of winning.
Kosuri will focus on dealing with the monster girl. It's more efficient to
specialize in our respective tasks rather than sharing everything. Right person
for the right job. In this case, Tanukichi is perfect for the role of being
cremated."

Kosuri fired back with a useless declaration, mixing in a casual insult.

76
But the goal for both of us was to push Ayame to the forefront in this best -of-
five match.

Ayame might not realize it, but she is the core of SOX.

If Saotome Otome sees Ayame shining on this perfect stage for lewd joke
battles, she might reconsider. Kosuri and I were certain of this and acted
accordingly.

"W-Wait, you two. What's going on? Did you eat something weird, like a turtle
or an eel?"

No, no one's been boosting their stamina or anything...

Ayame seemed surprised by Kosuri's opposition, as he's usually so obedient.

She continued to argue, but neither Kosuri nor I backed down. We couldn't.

We used every trick in the book to position Ayame as the main player in the
best-of-five match.

The discussion went in circles.

Of course it did. This wasn't a discussion.

The conclusion we both wanted was decided from the start. It was a battle to
point out the flaws in the other's reasoning and force them to submit.

It wasn't a pleasant feeling, but it was a necessary tactic to win back Otome.

...Wait, this unpleasant feeling... where have I felt it before?

77
Just as the argument was heating up and Kosuri's obedience was about to be
crushed by Ayame's sheer force, the door to the Chrysanthemum Room slid
open.

"You guys. Still up? It's past midnight. I get that you're upset about losing the
first round, but there's still next time. Go back to your rooms and get some
sleep."

The person who entered was Nadeshiko Kajou, the proprietress of

Kiyomonsou Inn, Ayame's foster mother, and a supporter of SOX. She was
dressed in a light-colored work kimono, fully in hospitality mode, but her
expression was a mix of her former delinquent self and sheer exasperation.

"Nadeshiko! Where have you been all this time? You weren't getting all cozy
with someone, were you?"

Ayame, who had been kicking Kosuri's butt, rudely confronted her, only to be
thrown aside with a "What kind of accusation is that?!" from Nadeshiko.

Then, Nadeshiko straightened her kimono and walked straight toward me,
firmly grabbing my shoulder.

She dragged me to the corner of the room. What, what's going on?

"You guys lost the first round, right? So, how do you feel about Ayame now?"

Caught off guard by the sudden question, I found myself answering under
Nadeshiko's overwhelming presence.

"How do I feel...? Nothing's changed. Ayame is still the person I admire,

someone with an incredible power that makes me want to follow her
anywhere. Even with this match Keisuke set up, I believe that with Ayame, we
can win back Otome──"

78
"...Huh?"

Before I could finish, Nadeshiko's face twisted into a demonic expression, and
she slapped me with an iron claw.

"You... you still think of her as some kind of hero, even after losing so badly
because of her?"

What's wrong with that? I tried to convey with my eyes, but Nadeshiko sighed
and let me go.

"Hey, Ayame. What's the plan for rounds two through five?"

When asked, Ayame projected the match schedule she had created on her
PM. Kosuri, not to be outdone, also displayed a schedule with Ayame as the
main participant.

"...Sigh. You guys are really idiots."

Nadeshiko sighed as she looked at the schedules they had presented, then
operated her PM to make a call. The atmosphere immediately shifted to her
professional, polite tone.

"Hello, sorry for calling so late. This is Nadeshiko from Kiyomonsou Inn. Yes, I
have an announcement for our guests. Regarding the participants from SOX
for the remaining matches in the best-of-five, for the second round, all three of
you will participate. For the third round, it will be The Abstinence Demon's 40th
Day Sentimental Full-Body Organ Bomber. For the fourth and fifth rounds, it
will be Blue Snow and The Abstinence Demon's 40th Day Sentimental Full-
Body Organ Bomber as a fixed pair."

Hey, stop trying to make those two nicknames stick. They overlap with The
Abstinence Demon, you know.

79
But I didn't have the luxury of complaining.

Our attention was focused solely on who Nadeshiko was talking to.

"...Yes. If SOX tries to change the participants, that will count as a win for your
side. Yes, I guarantee it as their sponsor. Yes, thank you. We look forward to
your continued patronage at Kiyomonsou Inn, Mr. Onigashira."

Nadeshiko hung up and turned back to us with a grin.

"Now you guys have to go with this lineup if you want to win back Otome."

"...Hey, Tanukichi. Remember what we talked about this morning with Kosuri?"

I silently nodded at Kosuri's question.

The story about someone selling information about Otome, the artist Keisuke
Onigashira is obsessed with, to Keisuke.

Keisuke, who has been fixated on Otome, whose true identity is still unclear,
trusted this source of information. If it's the proprietress of a long -standing inn
and a sponsor of SOX, it's no wonder Keisuke believed it.

"It was you who leaked Otome's information, wasn't it?"

Kosuri's anger was palpable, but Nadeshiko responded with a vicious smile.

"That's not all. It was also me who planned for Otome to defect to the
Onigashira family this summer, and who proposed the best-of-five match to
Keisuke as a way to crush SOX."

Her straightforward and sudden confession completely stunned both me and

Kosuri.

80
Ayame, on the other hand, widened her eyes and said, "Huh!? W-Why would
you...?!" before starting to escape reality with, "By the way, did you know that a
baby's erogenous zone is their lips? So, a baby sucking on a pacifier is like
practicing oral with a vibrator in their mouth! Ahaha! I wish I could go back to
those days of daily pacifier use!"

Please, we have the second round coming up. Let's not waste time on PM
deactivation.

"Was it to stop us from committing acts of terrorism?"

I was the first to regain my composure and stared directly into Nadeshiko's
fierce eyes.

A memory of Ayame's monologue in the mixed bath crossed my mind.

The people of Akekado Hot Springs don't approve of Ayame's nature.

Even if Nadeshiko, who sponsors Ayame's terrorist activities, holds significant

influence in this town, it must be difficult to keep the hot spring town's
residents, who are uneasy about SOX's large-scale activities, quiet.

No matter how noble the cause, no matter how many young people support
us, we are a selfish criminal organization that threatens the lives of those
around us because of our love for sex. We're aware that we're insane.

After all, we grew up under a father who played with electronic dictionaries to
make them pronounce "SEX."

"Yeah, that's what I told the hot spring town folks and Keisuke to get their
cooperation. The ethics-ignoring training, the relay race—they were all good
distractions, right? You guys were so focused on that, you let Otome slip right
into their hands. Idiots."

81
"Idiots? How could we possibly keep an eye on every bad guy trying to get
close to Otome while dealing with all that ridiculous training and competition!"

"Naive."

Nadeshiko cut me off with overwhelming pressure.

"You guys in SOX are going to be thrown into even more chaotic situations
from now on. If you can't see what's going on around you at this level, you're
only half-baked as a terrorist organization. Sooner or later, Otome would have
been taken by another group. Without you even noticing, and with no chance
to get her back."

I had no retort to Nadeshiko's sharp criticism.

It was probably true that we, as an organization, were immature and naive. But
then,

"However,"

Nadeshiko grinned provocatively and thrust a kiseru pipe at me.

"If Otome defects now, there's still a chance to get her back."

"...Huh? Nadeshiko?"

"Didn't I say it? I was the one who proposed the best-of-five match. Well, the
training is coming to an end. This is the final challenge for you guys in SOX.
Go and take Otome back."

...What? Wait, is she saying...?

"Are you stupid!?"

82
Ayame, who had been stunned until now, shouted, voicing my confusion.

"I always thought you were weird, but these past few weeks confirmed it! What
kind of leader brings so much trouble that it cripples the organization's
activities, all in the name of strengthening the group? It's beyond Spartan, it's
just Sperm-an!"

Her words were nonsensical, but I understood what she meant.

"Huh? You call this Spartan? I told you, having five days left is easy mode. Be
grateful I made the final challenge so gentle."

There it was, the classic delinquent move of forcing gratitude.

"Well, whatever. If you can't do this, then SOX was only ever going to be this
much. If you can't get Otome back, you should give up on terrorism."

Nadeshiko narrowed her eyes and looked at Ayame.

"In this safe hot spring town, you can just enjoy dirty jokes until the world
changes on its own. You have comrades who will support you, right? Have you
considered that option?"

"...What a stupid question."

Ayame responded to Nadeshiko's quiet question with a vicious smile, just like
Nadeshiko's.

"Like you and Keisuke say, the world will change on its own if I just sit still. But
that means nothing will change. We'll always be suffocating. Giving up is not
an option."

"...I see."

83
Nadeshiko smiled sadly and slapped Ayame's shoulder as if to cheer her up.

"Ugh!"

"Then I won't stop you. Go and snatch Otome back right in front of them. A
charismatic organization isn't about size or treatment, it's about having people
who can pull it off."

Ayame puffed out her cheeks at Nadeshiko's refreshing attitude.

"...After setting up such a troublesome situation, don't act all cool now. You
have no idea how much trouble we're in right now."

"Huh? More complaints? If you have time to argue with me, hurry up and──"

"Anna's coming to Akekado Hot Springs! The night of the third round, when
Nadeshiko arbitrarily made Tanukichi a participant!"

Ayame's desperate words froze time once again. Are they both snow women
or something?

By the way, the third round is a borrowing and impersonation race. We'll have
to run all over Akekado Hot Springs.

"...Huh? ...Are you serious, Ayame?"

Nadeshiko, who had heard about Anna's specs and nature from Ayame, visibly
paled.

Kiyomonsou Inn in Akekado Hot Springs is Ayame's family home. If Anna

finds out I'm staying here secretly, people will die. No joke.

Moreover, Anna can detect my scent with the sensitivity of a police dog, so
hiding my presence requires considerable effort. According to Kosuri, even a
84
single pubic hair falling on the floor could give me away. What kind of
impossible game is this? Even with a strategy guide, it's hopeless.

After a few seconds of silence, Nadeshiko smiled and said,

"...Well, good luck! I'll prepare a room for Anna! And, you know, the river's
water level drops during the day for the third round, so maybe we can work
something out with timing?"

She gave a crisp salute and quickly left the room.

"Hey! That old hag ran away!"

Ayame flared up.

"No matter how busy the inn is during the festival peak, I don't care anymore!
I'll strip away the manpower needed to clean up Tanukichi's traces and make
them bald!"

As Ayame chased after Nadeshiko, I turned to Kosuri.

"...Well, it's a compromise, right? We didn't get everything, but we can still have
Ayame as the main player in the best-of-five."

"More like a half-baked plan... Still, that damn old hag, assigning Tanukichi to
the third round without knowing the situation... She's really messed up..."

As I watched Kosuri shrink and tremble in fear of Anna, I thought,

She's like a vibrator. No, wait! I mean, are we really going to be okay in the
upcoming matches?

85
"Alright then, let's start the second round!"

A full day had passed since Nadeshiko's confession, and we were back at the
riverbank near the hidden shrine.

Just like the previous night, the riverbank was set up with tatami mats for the
match, surrounded by over four hundred members of the four major lewd joke
terrorist organizations. In the shrine, Otome sat as the judge, flanked by
Keisuke Onigashira in drag and Nadeshiko, who was wearing a mask
resembling Saori No. 3. What is she doing?

The second round was The Great Lewd Joke Contest. Our opponent was
Absolute Hemlines.

Each side could bring up to five members, and the judge would present a word
or phrase. Everyone would then respond with a classic lewd joke starting with
"What do you get when you cross ___ with ___?"

The person who came up with the best lewd joke would earn a zabuton
cushion for their organization. The first to collect three zabuton would win. By
the way, if the jokes were too bad, the zabuton could be confiscated.

So, unless the participants were exceptionally bad at lewd jokes, it was best to
have the maximum number of participants. But,

"Why is Absolute Hemlines only sending one person, The Two-Legged

Employee?"

I whispered to Ayame, who was disguised as Blue Snow with pants on her
head.

We had no right to criticize, as we were planning to send only Ayame to avoid

zabuton confiscation, but Absolute Hemlines should have plenty of skilled
members. It felt off.

86
"Hmm? Is Absolute Hemlines really only sending one person?"

Even Keisuke confirmed through his PM's loudspeaker function.

But the participant, The Two-Legged Employee, simply nodded, and no one
else spoke.

"Are you sure? The joint commander of Absolute Hemlines and The
Mammals?"

"...I said it's fine. Just start the second round already."

The girl from The Mammals, who had been in a dead heat with me during the
baton relay, also urged Keisuke impatiently.

"I don't get it. Is that guy really that skilled, or..."

Ayame tilted her head in thought. By the way, I've been wondering,

"Blue Snow, your voice sounds a bit hoarse, doesn't it?"

"Huh? Oh, this? Yeah, yesterday, when I caught Nadeshiko and made her
promise to help with Anna, she made me read an erotic novel as payment.
Excerpts from The Erotic Tales of Yatsuga Forest."

"I don't really get it."

"Me neither. She just smirked and wouldn't explain. But you know, erotic
novels are something else. They don't use any banned words, but they're still
so erotic! They've been using made-up words and onomatopoeia to evade
censorship for years! It was so stimulating that my pink brain cells were
overwhelmed with endless orgasms!"

An "Ahegao" experience, huh.

87
Come to think of it, my dad also talked about the appeal of text -only erotica.

He said that even after visual media became widespread, erotic novels
continued to be loved because they stimulate the imagination.

Have you ever experienced this? You're reading a suspense or mystery novel,
and it's really exciting, but once the mystery is solved, it suddenly becomes
boring.

This isn't because the story's structure or conclusion is bad, but because up
until that point, you were using your imagination to wonder, "Why is this
happening?" or "Could it be that...?" But once the answer is revealed, you stop
imagining and just accept the solution, which makes it less interesting.

Erotic videos and images only stimulate the crotch. In contrast, erotic novels
stimulate both the brain and the crotch, making the pleasure even more
intense.

Sometimes, a vaguely specific text like "There's a couple exposing themselves

in the parking lot of ___ town every night" can be more exciting than watching
a low-quality erotic video.

Humans are creatures who have sex with their imagination.

In other words, erotic novels are the "hometown of erotica," stimulating our
fundamental desires.

...Or so my dad said when he was drunk. Not me. Really.

"Alright, let's pick the first topic. Hey, The Love Machine, can I borrow that?"

While I was lost in my long reminiscence about my father’s stories, Keisuke

was steadily moving the competition forward. Love Machine, who had climbed

88
the stairs of the shrine, handed the bright red dictionary she was holding to
Keisuke.

"Now, Judge, please pick any word you like from this. That’ll be our theme."

"Understood."

The voices of the two, amplified by the PM system, echoed clearly across the
riverside illuminated only by the light of the pine torches.

Since Otome-senpai is currently being held at the inn where the Bacon Lettuce
Mothers' Association is staying, she must have thoroughly prepared for the
competition. Her voice is eerily calm.

“Well then... the first topic is "Earth." ”

“Yes! I’ll connect "Earth" with "a horny woman"!”

『And the reasoning?』

Kajou Ayame, who had neutralized the PPM, raised her hand in 0.1 seconds,
and Otome-senpai urged her to explain.

“They’re both in heat!”

What’s with this high-speed, high-quality response? I wish they’d consider how
I feel, having to answer next.

“...Uh, well. Here goes. I’ll connect "Earth" with "a woman’s crotch." ”

『And the reasoning?』

「Both are soaked with saltwater.」

89
“Eww…” “That’s just gross…” “Disgusting…” Voices of criticism rose from my
own side. (The criticism is coming from Ayame & Kosuri)

I’m trying my best here! And Ayame-senpai is definitely enjoying this!

Whatever... At least the Abstinent Demon and the Five Young Executives gave
me some gross laughs.

“Alright, next one. I’ll connect the water planet "Earth" with "you." ”

『...? What are you trying to say? And the reasoning?』

“The way you turn around, leaving your friends.”

This guy just messed up.

Not only was it not a dirty joke, but she also subtly criticized Otome-senpai for
siding with Keisuke.

As expected, Throbbing Butts and The Bacon Lettuce Mothers' Association

started yelling, “Don’t mess around, shorty!” “We’re here for lewd jokes!” “Don’t
get cocky just because you’re young!” The last one was just jealousy, though.

Otome-senpai also glared at Kosuri without moving.

“You idiot! What are you doing! You’re gonna lose the zabuton!”

“Nah. If we leave it to Blue Snow-sama, we’ll get the zabuton. So I thought I’d
shake up that artist. She’s been pampered too much; I bet she misses a good
fight.”

But if you make enemies of the audience, you won’t get the zabuton.

90
“It’s fine. Just watch.”

Kosuri brushed off my concerns and turned to the audience. Then,

“...Uh, s-sorry. I-I don’t really understand lewd stuff yet.”

Hugging her slightly disheveled shoulders, trembling slightly, with tears in the
corners of her eyes and a pleading look. This guy can switch gears in an
instant.

“””BAM!”””

A significant number of Throbbing Butts members who had been jeering were
shot down.

“H-hey. She’s saying that, so let’s just let it slide this time, okay?”

“Huh? What are you talking about, you bunch of lolicons? Should we change
the organization’s name to Throbbing Lolis? Huh?”

Even without the lolicon stuff, you guys are already criminals.

But still, the idea that lolicon = future criminal feels outdated.

Nowadays, saying "dick" can get you arrested, but back in the day,
combinations like "small, girl, cute" were considered gross without any
lewdness.

『W-well. Since it’s your first time, we’ll let it slide! But next time, make sure to
come up with proper lewd jokes. Otherwise, you’ll be disqualified. Now, next!』

91
Keisuke cut through the chaos and passed the baton to Absolute Hemlines.
Spoiling his daughter, huh.

“Tch. Well, with Papa’s leadership, even a little disruption is a win.”

If Kosuri was aiming not just for Otome-senpai but also for this chaos, then
she’s terrifying. But seriously, don’t drag me into your suicide-like tactics.

Then, The Two-Legged Employee, who had been completely still throughout,
raised their hand.

Alright, how’s this gonna go? Ayame-senpai and I braced ourselves.

“Yes. I’ll connect "Earth" with "a company, in which the boss is having an affair
with the wife of one of his employees." ”

『And the reasoning?』

“Both have secrets that must be kept inside.”

Can you stop with the melancholic vibe? Unlike Kosuri, this isn’t even a lewd
"joke" anymore.

『Alright, time for the results!』

Keisuke tried to lighten the mood by directing the attention to Otome-senpai,

who was sitting in the VIP seat at the shrine, lounging back.

『The one who impressed the most was Blue Snow.』

A collective groan rose from Throbbing Butts and The Bacon Lettuce Mothers'
Association. They seemed to be blaming themselves for being impressed, but
Otome-senpai’s keen eye couldn’t be fooled.

92
“Still, that Two-Legged Employee isn’t really a powerhouse, right?”

They’re way better than me, but they’re not on the level of a pervert who can
go toe-to-toe with Ayame-senpai.

“...True. It’s like they had no intention of winning from the start. But don’t let
your guard down. Let’s keep going all out till the end.”

Ayame-senpai said this with a straight face, then turned her attention to
Otome-senpai, who announced the next topic.

Otome-senpai flipped through a red dictionary, muttering 「Hmm,」 before

announcing the next topic, and the lewd joke battle resumed.

『Alright, the second topic is "paper airplane."』

“Yes! I’ll connect "paper airplane" with "semen"!”

Ayame-senpai raised her hand at her usual speed, and Otome-senpai urged,
『And the reasoning?』

“Boys get happy when it flies far!”

That’s biased! Girls should be happy too! ...Oh, you mean the paper airplane?

“Whatever. Uh, well. I’ll connect "paper airplane" with "an inexperienced man."”

『And the reasoning?』

“They fold easily.”

93
“Eh, what, are you coming out?” “Gross.” “No way.”

Why is everyone mentally torturing me? If I hadn’t toughened up from the

ordeal with Saori #3, I’d have killed myself by now.

“Alright, next. I’ll connect "paper airplane" with "you." ”

『...And the reasoning?』

“Both of you get carried away by any wind breeze.”

Seriously, reflect on yourself.

“...Uh, s-sorry. I-I don’t really understand lewd stuff yet.”

Men will fall for it even if they know it’s a lie.

“...Finally, I, The Two-Legged Employee, will connect "paper airplane" with "a
beloved only daughter being hit on by a delinquent." ”

『And the reasoning?』

“She folds easily.”

Stop with the melancholy! And who even "hits on" people these days?!

Also, your answer overlaps with mine, so now I’m getting weird looks... Wait, I
was from the start!

『Alright, Otome-chan, the verdict?』

94
『Hmm... It’s a close call, but the top is Blue Snow. The zabuton goes to
SOX.」

“Yes!”

I did a victory pose, while the four major lewd joke terror organizations
groaned in disappointment.

“The Bacon Lettuce Mothers' Association, you guys laughed at Blue Snow’s
answer!” “Ha, you idiots! You guys from Throbbing Butts were like, "Ah, it’s
true, flying far does make you happy," and it was so cringe we had to laugh!”
“Huh? Don’t push the blame on us, you flabby meatbags!” “What? We’ll make
you all tonight’s jerk-off material!” “Hey, you guys, calm down! If you make too
much noise, Love Machine-sama’s imaginary feast will... ugh!? Love Machine-
sama!? Why are you feeding me your imagination... ugh!” “Love Machine-sama
feeds imagination to those they want to feed... There’s no good or evil in it.
Just as they think, as they desire... reaping life and giving birth to life...!”

What’s with this unreasonable, merciless, nature-like pervert? Are they some
kind of god?

『Alright, let’s move on to the third topic, Otome-chan.』

Seeing that the commotion had died down thanks to Love Machine, Keisuke
moved the battle forward.

『Hmm, the third topic is... "scammer."』

“Yes! I’ll connect "scammer" with "a prostitute" ”

『And the reasoning?』

“Both are very skilled with their mouths!”

95
Well, there are handjob specialists and thigh masters too... Not that I’d know,
just heard about it!

Also, brothels are a culture that disappeared way before cell phones.

“...Uh, well. I’ll connect "scammer" with "cicada." ”

『And the reasoning?』

“They keep calling out until they find the right prey.”

“Calling your partner prey…” “It’s your subconscious showing. I always thought
you were like that.” “You see women that way, huh…”

Misunderstanding! It’s a misunderstanding! But I know any defense would fall

on deaf ears, so I distract myself by thinking how calling women "おなご"
sounds like "オナ子" and is kinda erotic. (Onago & Onako. idk)

“Alright, next. I’ll connect "con artist" with "you."”

『You’ve gone too far... And the reasoning?』

“Both of you paint beautiful pictures, but in the end, it was all a scam.”

Another bomb dropped. Kosuri once again faked tears to cover up, and the
answerer shifted to The Two-Legged Employee.

“Alright, I’ll connect "con artist" with "a condom of poor quality" ”

『And the reasoning?』

“Trusting them will end up costing you a lot of money.”

96
What the hell happened in your life? Your answers are way too sad.

But condoms from overseas... That’s nostalgic. Nowadays, it’s domestic-only

to prevent the influx of erotic resources from abroad. With the decrease in
users, small-scale domestic production by violators of the Public Order and
Morality Preservation Law and those from state-run facilities is enough.

『Alright, time for the results!』

『Hmm. It was a close call, but once again, Blue Snow takes the top. The
zabuton goes to SOX.」

A collective groan rose from the four major lewd joke terror organizations, as
if they had expected the result.

“...Huh? Is the first round over already?”

“Seems like it.”

The victory was so one-sided and uneventful that it felt anticlimactic.

“Wow, Blue Snow-sama is amazing! Maybe we don’t even need anyone else!”

Kosuri, who had been as stunned by the overwhelming victory as I was,

praised Ayame-senpai from the bottom of her heart. But her eyes kept
glancing at Otome-senpai, blatantly showing off Ayame-senpai.

Otome-senpai hesitantly spoke up.

『...The second round was a complete victory for SOX. The third round will be
tomorrow afternoon. ...And one last thing.』

97
Otome-senpai paused, took a deep breath, and glared at Kosuri through her
mask.

『Your dad is C-R-E-E-P-Y! Focus on the battle and stop with the extra
comments!』

“Guh...!?”

Kosuri, who had been excluding Keisuke’s perverted behavior from her mind to
maintain her sanity, collapsed to her knees. Seeing her reaction, Keisuke also
collapsed. What’s with this parent-child duo?

『...Ugh. Whatever. Alright, we’re done for today. Meet here again tomorrow at
noon!』

Keisuke declared with the last of his strength before collapsing.

...Somehow, it was a disgustingly smooth victory.

While watching The Two-Legged Employee walk away without showing any
regret, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off.

“Alright, let’s head back and prepare for Anna’s attack on Akekado Hot Springs
tomorrow night.”

Urged by Ayame-senpai, I pushed aside the unease and carried Kosuri out of
the hidden shrine.

Then, someone called out to me in a low, deathly voice.

“I need to talk to you. Come to the basement where Saori #3 is hidden after
you’re done carrying that brat.”

98
It was Kajou Nadeshiko, who had been silently watching our battle next to
Otome-senpai.

“Of course it was a landslide victory.”

After all, the Absolute Hemlines guys had zero motivation.

Yutori Nuregoromo muttered this while glaring at Kosuri’s retreating back, still
celebrating the victory.

“This is a problem. If our co-representative is this unmotivated. Besides, The

Mammals and The Two-Legged Employee aren’t even here, which is a minus.
Do you even care?”

“...I don’t want to hear about our organization’s lack of motivation from you,
Onigashira Keisuke.”

Yutori turned around, annoyed, to see Keisuke approaching.

“What are you doing here?”

There stood Keisuke, groaning, “Don’t call me by name here, ugh,” as he

stumbled toward Yutori. His flashy pink dress was tangled with river weeds,
making him look even more grotesque.

“I’m not used to being grossed out by my daughter yet…”

“...I don’t care, but your fancy dress is ruined.”

“It’s fine. I have twenty more at home.”

99
Yutori vaguely thought that reconciliation with his daughter was far off as she
averted her eyes from Keisuke.

“Just stop talking to me. You’re the one who turned Absolute Hemlines and
The Mammals into this mess, yet you act so shamelessly.”

“Ahaha☆”

Keisuke laughed cheerfully, ignoring Yutori’s hostility.

“I didn’t do anything. Nope, nothing at all. I just let Absolute Hemlines and The
Mammals do their thing. You know that. They would’ve ended up like this even
without me.”

“...Tch.”

Yutori bit his lip and looked away.

Yutori had joined The Mammals because he’d heard they were an organization
aiming for social reform through the dissemination of sexual knowledge, just
like Absolute Hemlines.

Unlike Throbbing Butts and The Bacon Lettuce Mothers' Association, which
ran negative campaigns against sexuality, The Mammals and Absolute
Hemlines were supposed to be the sane ones.

She’d overheard parents and colleagues talking about how Absolute Hemlines
and The Mammals were the reasonable ones.

In reality, both organizations were indeed focused on social reform through

the dissemination of sexual knowledge.

100
The recruitment drive to counter Sophia’s petition was also meant to spread
awareness about the dangers of the X Prohibition Law, not to stage radical
protests.

But when Yutori joined The Mammals, it was no longer the The Mammals or
Absolute Hemlines of old.

After over a decade of disseminating lewd knowledge with no results, many

members had become apathetic and were being swayed by Keisuke’s
ideology of pushing the burden onto the younger generation.

Far from obstructing Sophia’s petition, they didn’t even have enough members
to carry out regular terrorist activities, and The Mammals and Absolute
Hemlines had started sharing personnel.

Seeing the state of both organizations, Yutori had initially been furious at how
spineless they were.

Fueled by the power of heartbreak, she’d dragged her fellow young lewd joke
terrorists into tirelessly spreading sexual knowledge.

But as she continued her activities, she began to understand why The
Mammals and Absolute Hemlines had become so apathetic.

The methods of disseminating knowledge while evading PM surveillance were

numerous—scattering alternating-character texts, using mosaic art, wooden
educational tools—but all of them carried high risks of being caught by the
Decency Squad for the amount and quality of knowledge they could convey.

Even scattering copies of adult magazines only conveyed limited knowledge

without explicit scenes.

The information they could spread to minors outside the designated clean
cities was barely worth the effort, far from the compelling truths about
intercourse and pregnancy.
101
Moreover, the people picking up the information were mostly adults who
already knew about lewdness.

Humans can’t maintain motivation for long when their efforts yield no results
and are condemned as evil.

Faced with reality, Yutori often felt like giving up.

Still, the mainstream thinking in the organization remained focused on reform

through the dissemination of sexual knowledge, and Yutori, along with the
younger members, vowed not to fall for Keisuke’s sweet talk. They continued
to spread knowledge on the front lines.

Even if it was like digging a hole only to fill it back up, they believed it would
one day become the foundation for changing this world that was pushing the
burden onto their generation.

But about a year after Yutori joined The Mammals, something strange
happened.

The two leaders who had represented both organizations for over a decade,
The Mammals and Absolute Hemlines, suddenly announced their retirement.

They declared they would now act as sponsors, providing funds and supplies,
and stepped back from the front lines.

At the same time, all field command authority for The Mammals and Absolute
Hemlines was handed over to Yutori.

Not just Yutori.

102
Those who had joined around the same time as Yutori—those who had been
members for less than a year—were suddenly given various positions under
the guise of generational change.

The official reason was that younger members could infiltrate places where
minors gathered more easily, making terrorist activities more efficient, but
Yutori and the others weren’t stupid enough to fall for that. They quickly
realized the truth.

They were being made to shoulder all the responsibility as terrorist

organizations.

Yutori realized that the veteran members had long since given up.

It was the same mindset that had burdened the younger generation with
debt—just like the Public Order and Morality Preservation Act, Keisuke, or even
society itself. The Mammals and Absolute Hemlines, who were supposed to
be enemies of these systems, had fallen into the same trap.

“They’ve given up after more than ten years of no results, turned to self-
preservation, and dumped everything on us! Those bastards! They’re screwing
with us!”

Yutori roared. She roared like a beast, filled with regret and disbelief, with no
other way to express herself.

It was then that Yutori finally understood.

In the end, the burden would always fall on them.

Even within the Four Major Lewd Joke Terror Organizations, which were
supposed to oppose the system, things had come to this. There was no
escaping it.

103
“Taking risks to spread useless knowledge is just a waste of effort. Hoard
obscene resources, focus on self-preservation, and wait for society to
collapse on its own. No risk, all reward—sweet, sweet profit.”

It was inevitable that even the Mammals and Absolute Hemlines would be
eroded by Keisuke’s ideology, just like the Bacon Lettuce Mothers’ Association
and Throbbing Butts under the Onigashira family.

Yutori herself had also given up and gone along with Keisuke’s ideas, swept
up in the current.

That’s when SOX appeared.

Their actions were so far removed from reality, so dramatic.

They stole indecent magazines from the Decency Squad, spread sexual
knowledge to the students of Tokioka Academy—ranked third in moral
excellence—and crushed a petition campaign with methods so absurd they
could only laugh.

To Yutori and the others, SOX was nothing short of a savior.

Thanks to their generous gesture of sharing the indecent magazines they

stole from the Decency Squad, the Mammals and Absolute Hemlines were
revitalized in an instant.

Keisuke had said, “The backlash will come soon,” but Yutori and the others
were too fired up, believing, “We can fight alongside SOX!” No one paid
attention to his seemingly bitter words.

But reality proved Keisuke right. The backlash he predicted came swiftly.

Gathered Fabric.

104
The major incident they caused once again cast a shadow over Yutori’s heart.

“No matter how hard we try, no matter what results we achieve, those kinds of
people will always show up and ruin everything. In the end, spreading
knowledge is just a waste of effort. The speeches of SOX, who we thought
were saviors, will eventually align with the Decency Squad and the system, just
like Keisuke said. They’ll probably demand the same sacrifices from us as the
Mammals and Absolute Hemlines did.”

The hope that SOX had once instilled in Yutori and the others crumbled
completely at that moment.

“That’s why I’m just… so tired.”

Two days ago, just before the Lewd Joke Battle began, Yutori told Kosuri this.

“If we just go along with Keisuke’s plan, we don’t have to think about anything.
We don’t have to take any big risks. Society will change on its own, and we’ll
get our fair share of the sweet rewards for everything we’ve endured.

That’s why… I’m fine with this. That’s why I’m standing here.”

The beast that had once roared with tears and regret had long since forgotten
how to cry out, reduced to nothing more than livestock.

“Hey, are you listening? If you don’t get motivated, I’ll be in trouble.”

“…Yeah, I’m listening.”

Yutori, who had been spacing out, gave a half-hearted response to Keisuke,
who had already recovered enough to stand.

“Good. Then at least pretend to put up a fight. We need to hype up SOX a bit,
so play along, okay?”

105
“…”

Yutori no longer had the energy to argue with Keisuke’s tone.

“You know, it’s easier to crush someone if you push them from a high place.
Plus, it’ll make it easier for Otome to give up on SOX.”

Keisuke laughed dryly as he walked away toward Otome, who was being
revered by the Love Machines.

Yutori slowly looked around.

The young members of both the Absolute Hemlines and the Mammals, who
had been forced under her command, wandered aimlessly behind their masks,
their dark eyes lost.

A few of the older members who had pushed the responsibility onto Yutori
were mixed in among them. But none of them reached out to Yutori, who was
being driven into a miserable battle with the expectation of losing.

“…Well, then.”

Yutori turned on her heel and walked toward the hidden path leading from the
riverbank to the hot spring town.

“I guess I’ll go fulfill the responsibilities they dumped on me.”

Tomorrow, Yutori would face the third round of the Lewd Joke Battle: the
Borrowed Object Personification Race.

But there was no fighting spirit in her back, no will to win.

106
Because she knew.

The world won’t change unless people change.

And since people don’t change, the world won’t either.

Whether Yutori wins or loses, whether she tries hard or not, the result will be
the same.

SOX will lose the match, and Otome will fall under Keisuke Onigashira’s
control.

If Kosuri had heard Yutori’s thoughts, she would have surely scolded her.

“This is why Yutori is…”

“Yeah, that’s right. I’m Yutori. That fact won’t change. I can’t change anymore.”

Dragging her feet, which should have been light, Yutori muttered to herself in a
dry voice.

The day of the third round of the Lewd Joke Battle. I was at my limit.

“Hey, Tanukichi. You’ve been acting weird since this morning. What’s wrong, is
it ‘Boy’s Day’?”

“…Yeah, something like that.”

I averted my eyes as I answered Kajou-senpai’s concern, laced with lewd

jokes.

107
“Hey. Answer me seriously. The fact that you’re not even making a snarky
comeback is weird.”

No. My response earlier wasn’t just a casual reply.

Right now, I’m genuinely in the middle of “Boy’s Day.”

Let me explain!

“Boy’s Day” refers to a state where, due to various overlapping conditions, a

guy is pushed to the brink of losing control over his sexual urges, with his balls
aching as if they’re about to burst.

While “Girl’s Day” makes one irritable, “Boy’s Day” makes one horny.

So, why am I in this state? The story goes back to last night, right after the
second round of the Lewd Joke Battle.

“Here. You worked hard today. This is a special menu, just for you.”

Nadeshiko-san, who had called me to the basement of Kiyomonsou Inn,

smiled eerily as she praised me and served me an extravagant meal that didn’t
fit the basement’s atmosphere.

“You’re not leaving until you finish everything.”

She locked me in a cell that fit the basement’s vibe…

“Wait a minute! There’s so much wrong with this, but first, what’s with this
menu?!”

The meal Nadeshiko-san handed me through the iron bars included turtle
stew, grilled eel, live viper blood drink, pork liver, and a mountain of various
vitamin supplements to aid digestion and absorption.
108
It was so blatant that they might as well have just served me rice laced with
Viagra from the start.

“You’re so hopeless that I’m helping you out. Now, eat up, or I’ll blend this
special menu that our overworked kitchen staff prepared into a ‘Doping
Overwork Soup’ and force-feed it to you.”

“What kind of hard-to-resist threat is that?!”

In the end, I finished the meal, but what came after was even worse.

After confirming that I had eaten everything, Nadeshiko-san tied me to a chair

in the cell and blindfolded me.

“You said you’d let me out after I finished eating!”

“I never said I’d let you out right after.”

Nadeshiko-san then attached headphones connected to her PM to my head.

At this point, I had a really bad feeling. After all, the headphones were wrapped
tightly with duct tape so they wouldn’t fall off no matter how much I shook my
head…

Sure enough, the audio that came through the headphones was terrible.

“──Saori’s secret flesh, desperately resisting with both hands, was now so
heated that it no longer bore the usual clean, vertical shadow. It opened and
closed like a koi fish begging for food. Saori’s flushed body exuded the thick
scent of pleasure, spreading it around her. The scent reached Shuji, who was
pinning her against the wall. To him, Saori’s hands, which should have been
resisting, now seemed like the hands of a witch of lust, inviting him in.
‘Nooooooo!’ Saori’s high-pitched scream erupted as Shuji’s manhood twisted

109
into her core. But it was less a scream and more a cry of ecstasy. Saori, now
fully aware that every act of resistance only excited Shuji more, continued to
resist──”

“…Wait, this is! This is an audiobook of an adult novel, isn’t it?!”

And not just any audiobook—it was Kajou-senpai’s voice! She had mentioned
recording something as a reward for helping with Anna-senpai’s
countermeasures before the second round, but to go all out like this… What
was she thinking?! Oh, right, she only thinks about lewd jokes!

“You’re going to listen to this until right before the third round, got it?”

“…Huh?”

That’s when I finally realized how utterly trapped I was.

“Ahhhhh!” Kajou-senpai’s passionate performance blasted through the

headphones, hammering into my crotch. In the gaps between her moans,
Nadeshiko-san’s death sentence echoed in my ears.

“Build up your imagination to the limit and face the third round. I’m counting
on you.”

And so, for the next dozen hours, I was forced to listen to Kajou-senpai’s erotic
audiobook performance almost nonstop, leading up to the third round of the
Lewd Joke Battle.

“──Tanukichi! Tanukichi!”

“Huh, yes?!”

110
Kajou-senpai leaned in close, peering at my face as I desperately tried to
suppress the raging demon in my crotch. The lewd scenes I had been forced
to imagine flashed back in my mind.

“Nggghhh!”

Of course, the lewd scenes flashing back were intimately tied to Kajou-
senpai’s voice and image, which had been imprinted in my mind.

Being told not to look at Kajou-senpai in that way right now was like being told
to crush my Neo Armstrong Cyclone Jet Armstrong Cannon (A penis shaped
cannon) on the spot. Impossible.

No matter how disgusting or unpleasant my thoughts were right now, I

couldn’t suppress them. Boys are just like that. It’s a chemical reaction—
natural and unavoidable. To condemn this as evil would be as nonsensical as
dragging the phenomenon of combustion, which produces carbon dioxide,
into court for contributing to global warming.

Whether or not you act on it depends on the time and place, but there’s no
inherent good or evil in thinking lewd thoughts. It doesn’t diminish a person’s
character or dignity, nor does it warrant condemnation.

But the feelings I have for Kajou-senpai are respect for a senior, someone I
want to catch up to someday—not romantic feelings or anything beyond that.

Because, you know, that’s Kajou-senpai.

So the horniness I’m feeling right now shouldn’t be directed at her.

“It’s nothing! It’s really nothing! Let’s just hurry to the hidden shrine!”

"……Well, if that’s the case, it’s fine. But do you understand? Today isn’t just
about the third round, you know? Anna is arriving tonight. You absolutely

111
cannot get caught. You need to be as bold and cautious as a female teacher
indulging in exhibitionist play at a local park during summer vacation, got it?"

Anna-senpai, who had fled to Akekado Hot Springs after a falling out with her
mother, Sophia Nishikinomiya, over a disagreement. If my presence were
discovered, it’s obvious that things would spiral into chaos from there. It could
even lead to the destruction of the lewd joke terrorist organization. …And I’m
not exaggerating.

"I get it! Let’s hurry up! Is Kosuri still asleep!?"

"Ah. She’s still recovering from the verbal abuse she received from Saotome-
senpai yesterday, so she’s still sleeping."

"Let’s wake her up right now!"

Despite receiving a fierce headbutt, I managed to wake Kosuri up. By

awkwardly clinging to her while she was still half-asleep, I managed to distract
Kajou-senpai from all the suspicious stuff.

"Alright then. Today’s duel starts early in the day. Well, it’s good that the
weather’s clear for the third round. Let’s begin~"

Just like in the second round, Saotome-senpai sat at the center on a chair set
up in the shrine, with Onigashira Keisuke and Nadeshiko sitting solemnly on
either side.

The difference from the first and second rounds was that it was daytime, and
the perverts gathered on the riverbank with the lowered water level were
clearly visible.

"Oooh…"

112
Seeing her father, dressed in women’s clothing and enthusiastically hosting
the event in broad daylight, was still overwhelmingly destructive. Kosuri was
practically a walking corpse at this point.

But well, that wasn’t a problem today. Today, I, Okuma Tanukichi, was the only
one who needed to work hard.

"Now then, let’s explain the rules for the third round, the Borrowed Item
Personification Contest. For this event, one person from SOX and one from
The Mammals will participate. Assistance from other members is against the
rules, so be careful."

The perverts filling the riverbank parted, creating a space where the
representative from The Mammals, a girl, and I stood.

Ah, crap. This must be what it feels like to be in an adult video shoot. Hey, why
is the girl wearing clothes? Hiding like that only fuels male fantasies, you
know?

"The rules are simple. Head out to Akekado Hot Springs, which is bustling with
activity right now, and bring back three items that you think would make for
good personification material. That’s where the real competition begins."

If you’re worried about men’s lewd gazes, you might as well go fully naked. So
take off your clothes. Okay?

"For each item you bring back, you’ll present in front of everyone how you
would personify it in an amusing way. Just like in the second round, the one
who gets the bigger laugh wins."

Come on, the only difference between men and women is the number of holes,
so there’s no need to be shy. What? You’re saying girls don’t have a dick?
Don’t be stupid. They have a uvula, don’t they?

113
"You have two hours to find the items and return. If you don’t make it back in
time, it’s an automatic loss. Ready, set, go!"

Ah, crap. I just realized something amazing. The kanji for "hole" (穴) can be
read as "ketsu" (ケツ), right? Ketsu, hole, anal… In other words, every hole in
the body leads to the anus. All holes lead to the anus.

"Hey! It’s already started, you know!?"

"Whoa!? Hey, Blue Snow!? What are you thinking, touching me, the Sentimental
Whole-Genital Bomber on Day 40 of No Fap!? I’m gonna explode, you know?"

The shock of being slapped by Kajou-senpai and the scent wafting from her
palm were about to make me explode.

"Ah, uh, Tanukichi… no, the Sentimental Whole-Genital Bomber on Day 40 of

No Fap is spouting lewd jokes in a fragmented way…? I can’t believe this day
has come…"

For some reason, Kajou-senpai had her hand over her mouth, looking both
delighted and sad.

"Get away from Blue Snow-sama!"

Kosuri, who had been listless until now, jumped in to shield Kajou-senpai from
me.

"I don’t know why you’re so shaken up, but this guy is dangerous right now!"

Kosuri was glaring at me like I was a cockroach that had been microwaved
and exploded.

"Take this!"

114
Kosuri picked up a round stone from the ground and hurled it straight at my
crotch.

"Too naive!"

But I didn’t dodge. Because the stone Kosuri threw was slightly off-target.
Getting hit by something like that wouldn’t hurt at all. It’d feel good, if anything.

"!? Guhahhh!?"

I didn’t know what had happened. But this pain rising from my crotch… had my
dick been killed!?

"See, Blue Snow-sama! That guy right now is so overheated that he doesn’t
even realize his target has gotten bigger! He’s like a wild beast! He must’ve
been messed with by that old hag Nadeshiko last night!"

"……"

Seeing me crouched in pain, Kajou-senpai was completely taken aback.

Well, I can’t really argue against Kosuri’s verbal abuse and violence this time.

If I remember my current words and actions later, I might just kill myself.

'You two, aren’t you going to start soon?'

The voice of Saotome-senpai, the referee, echoed with exasperation.

"Ah, that’s right! Hurry up and go! Ah, not in a lewd way, okay!?"

As Kajou-senpai kicked my butt to send me off, her added explanation meant

nothing to me, as my brain was now filtering everything through a lewd lens.

115
'…I’m starting to wonder if SOX is even serious. As a terrorist organization, we
seem far more competent.'

Just as I was about to dive into the hidden path leading back to Akekado Hot
Springs, I thought I heard Saotome-senpai mutter something like that.

"Is this really okay?"

"Yes. It’s fine. Saotome-senpai’s attitude is within expected parameters."

Right after Tanukichi, the guy with a bomb between his legs, finally started the
competition.

Kosuri muttered uneasily, but Ayame gave her a confident nod with a sharp
gaze.

Right now, Saotome-senpai was teetering between SOX and the Onigashira
family. But the scales were heavily tilted toward the Onigashira side. Or rather,
Saotome-senpai herself wanted to lean toward the Onigashira family.

That’s why, right now, Saotome-senpai was actively absorbing only the
information that made her feel like siding with the Onigashira family was
inevitable.

To win her back, we’d need to destroy the filter she had set up in her mind, and
for that, we’d need something as explosive as a bomb.

But such things can’t be created artificially.

That’s why Ayame remained calm, neither panicking nor struggling, simply
saying, "It’s fine."
116
She intended to give her all in the competition itself, but beyond that, she left it
to fate.

Whether Saotome-senpai could be brought back or not, Ayame was fine with
either outcome.

She knew that no matter what happened, she would lose something precious.

"Ah, no, I’m worried about that too. But what I’m really worried about is that
monster girl."

Kosuri was trembling. She was terrified that Anna would arrive tonight.

"Ah, that. It’s fine. Kiyomonsou has been thoroughly cleaned, and his lodging
has been moved to the opposite end of the area. During this competition, he’ll
be scattering traces all over town, but the smell of the food stalls and the
crowd should cover it up. Even Anna won’t be able to track a scent that’s been
left for a while in a festival setting."

Unlike the issue with Saotome-senpai, Anna’s rampage was a serious matter
that could lead to the destruction of the SOX members if mishandled. Being
arrested by the Decency Squad would be the best-case scenario; there was a
real possibility of casualties.

But because of that, Nadeshiko and Tanukichi had put a lot of effort into
covering his tracks. Additionally, the bus Anna was supposed to take had been
filled with a scent that dulled the sense of smell, and upon arrival, she would
be greeted with a strong-smelling meal to further disrupt her senses. No stone
was left unturned.

"Well, it’s important to maintain caution. I’m counting on you."

"Y-Yes!"

117
Kosuri’s anxiety turned to determination as she was patted on the head. Just
then.

Beep beep beep beep! Ayame’s PM notified her of an incoming call.

Seeing "Anna Nishikinomiya" on the display, Ayame’s expression froze.

'Hmm? Is that a call from one of the participants? That’s against the rules, you
know?'

Keisuke quickly noticed Ayame’s incoming call.

"No. Just because I turned my smiling face away doesn’t mean you should
jump to conclusions like some virgin who gets a mental boner from it."

But what to do?

She wanted to answer the call, but it would be considered a foul. On the other
hand, making the call’s contents public would be dangerous…

'I’ll check the call’s contents. That should be fine, right?'

Perhaps sensing Ayame’s dilemma, Saotome-senpai stepped down from the

shrine and stood next to her.

There were probably some reservations. Her face was still turned away, but
the fact that she reached out to help in a tough situation meant there was still
hope.

"Thank you. Then, I’ll answer the call."

"Mm."

118
Ayame adjusted the PM’s audio so only Saotome-senpai and Kosuri could
hear, then answered the call.

'Ah, hello. Ayame-san. I’m sorry for the sudden call, but I’ll be arriving at
Akekado Hot Springs soon, so I wanted to let you know.'

Time stopped.

Ayame’s thoughts froze, Kosuri collapsed on the spot, and Saotome-senpai,

unaware of the situation, turned pale upon seeing their reactions.

"Stop! The match is over! Bring those two back here right now!"

Anticipating the tragedy about to unfold, Saotome-senpai immediately sprang

into action.

But the reactions of the four major lewd joke terrorist organizations and
Keisuke, who were unaware of the situation, were sluggish.

"If we don’t stop this now, we might all be finished here!?"

As Saotome-senpai desperately pleaded, the conversation between Anna and

Ayame continued.

'I’m sorry for the suddenness. It seems my mother found out about me
running away from home… so I had to move up my plans a bit. Also, I’m really
sorry to ask this, but Tsukimigusa-san is also coming with me, so if you could
prepare a room for her as well… Ah, hello? Ayame-san?'

"Ah, yes. It’s fine. You and I are close, after all. I can make arrangements for
that."

'…Thank you. Really, I’m so lucky to have a friend like you…'

119
"By the way, Anna! There’s one condition, okay?"

'What is it? I’ve already made so many demands, so I’ll accept anything.'

"Well, when you arrive at Akekado Hot Springs, come straight to Kiyomonsou.
If you feel like making any detours, ignore them and come straight to
Kiyomonsou!"

'That’s easy. In fact, I was planning to do that from the start… Ah, I’ve arrived.
Just as I’ve heard, it’s a beautiful place. The air is so fresh… sniff'

Even through the PM, Ayame could tell that Anna’s demeanor had suddenly
changed.

"Ah, Anna? Anna! What’s wrong!?"

Anna suddenly fell silent, her breathing becoming noticeably ragged. Ayame
desperately called out to her.

But,

'…Somehow, there’s a really… nice smell…'

"It’s the food stalls! That’s the smell of the food stalls! Anna! Just come to
Kiyomonsou quickly!"

'…No, this is different from appetite. It’s something that directly appeals to my
lower abdomen… pant pant───click'

The call ended, and no matter how many times Ayame tried to call back, it
wouldn’t connect.

120
"This is bad… This is as bad as a cheating man locked in a burning love hotel
with vaginal cramps."

It was too late to issue an evacuation order to Tanukichi now.

Even before that, convincing the four major lewd joke terrorist organizations
and Keisuke in such a short time… These guys already looked down on Anna’s
generation, which had been warped by the Public Order and Morality
Preservation Act.

They’d probably listen to our explanation through the lens of thinking it was all
lies or exaggerations. Even if we tried to convince them through Saotome-
senpai or Nadeshiko, it would take a considerable amount of time.

"…Hold on, Tanukichi…!"

Ayame prayed, but recalling Tanukichi’s state from earlier, she held her head,
thinking this might be the end.

"Now then."

Having returned to Akekado Hot Springs, I purchased a mask from a nearby

stall.

My current outfit was a plain, sleeveless shirt and shorts, along with sneakers
for mobility. Adding the mask and keeping my profile hidden.

Akekado Hot Springs was bustling with activity, as it was the final day of the
festival.

There weren’t any large-scale events like the White Spirit Floating Ceremony,
but the food stalls lined up, offering unique dishes made with fresh mountain

121
vegetables, mixed with traditional games like goldfish scooping and target
shooting.

Most of the stalls here were reputable, and the games were mostly fair. Even
the lottery-type stalls boasted no losing tickets.

Families and lodgers strolled around, enjoying the leisurely festival

atmosphere.

The third round of the Five Lewd Joke Battles, the Borrowed Object
Personification Contest, had a time limit.

I was bound to move hastily due to the pressure, so I wanted to wear a mask
to hide my face if I got suspicious looks.

Today, there were plenty of people in casual clothes like mine for ease of
movement, and many men were wearing masks, probably because their kids
had begged them.

Aside from being alone, I wasn’t particularly conspicuous. This way, I could
focus on finding items without worry.

I didn’t really need to be this cautious, but after throwing myself into such
reckless behavior since coming here, I couldn’t bring myself to search for
items to lewdly personify without some camouflage.

"Now then… what should I bring back?"

As I moved with the crowd, I looked around.

Well, lewd things are everywhere.

It’s only in this state that I realize it. The world is overflowing with lewd things
and situations!

122
The nape of a woman bending down to scoop goldfish! The glimpse of her
collarbone! Her chest! The emphasized butt of a woman taking aim at the
target shooting! The occasional glimpse of her ankles through her yukata!

The target shooting prizes are masochists who fall when hit in the erogenous
zones! The water balloon yo-yos are exhibitionists who love being slapped on
the palm! The bonito flakes sprinkled on okonomiyaki are wriggling desire-
driven creatures who can’t stand the heat! The ring toss is just plain indecent
without explanation.

The goldfish scooping nets are poor things forced to get wet and torn,
discarded as soon as they’re used. And their first partner isn’t even a beast,
but a fish. Utterly inhumane.

The world is full of brilliance. But.

I wonder if these personification ideas would hold up in the competition.

I feel like I need something as outrageous as Kajou-senpai’s jokes.

"Hmm, let’s see…"

I recall a sensual novel Kajou-senpai was reading, which had a description of a

koi fish.

Combining the goldfish’s desire-driven mouth and lower mouth could make
for a Kajou-senpai-esque joke.

I don’t need to run around, so let’s secure the first item quickly.

I stopped by a nearby goldfish scooping stall and bought five nets, waiting for
the moment they’d tear.

123
By the way, these goldfish are a genetically modified species that can’t
reproduce. Fish are basically like overly maniacal recent youths who only
know reproduction from adult videos, so even if released, they wouldn’t cause
any issues. …Well, there are some like the invincible ones, so better safe than
sorry.

Ah, also, Yutori mentioned something once. Sterilizing animals before selling
them not only aligns with the Public Order and Morality Preservation Act but
also adds unnecessary value to increase profits. Not exactly pleasant
information.

"Ah, now’s not the time to think about that."

While scooping goldfish, I thought about what item to secure next.

Hmm, what to do? I have a lot of ideas, but nothing that screams "This is it!"

Then, I suddenly remembered a delusion my dad once shared during a drive.

'This windshield washer fluid is as strong as me… right, mom!?'

'Hehe, look at the car in front, Tanukichi. The muffler’s dripping, writhing like
it’s craving something… guh!'

'Backing up, backing up, backing up hurts! Mom, the neck, no, the neck, guh
guh guh!'

No good, useless. Actually, every time I recall this, I think my dad and mom get
along really well.

"Alright. Got the goldfish, next is next."

As I recalled Kajou-senpai’s lewd jokes, I let myself be carried by the crowd

again. Just then.

124
"…!?"

In the blazing heat, I suddenly felt goosebumps rise all over my body.

It was as if some powerful monster had locked onto me—an unmistakable,

nostalgic sense of dread.

“Wow, what a beautiful lady!” a girl near me exclaimed, pointing down the
street while eating cotton candy.

And there she was.

A stunning beauty who captivated the eyes of every passerby, regardless of

gender.

Her silver hair and pristine dress sparkled like jewels under the summer sun.

“Haaah... haaah... haaah... huuu... haaah...”

From beneath the shade of her straw hat, her eyes gleamed like those of a
hungry beast, and her slightly parted lips looked as if they were about to drool.

I had to run.

Why was she already here? Before that question could even fully form in my
mind, my brain was already sending retreat signals to my entire body. But I
couldn’t move.

The fear of being caught the moment I moved froze me in place!

“...Huh? Okuma-kun...?”

125
But, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, Anna-senpai spotted me
almost immediately.

Her previously calm and composed demeanor began to waver.

“Is it really you, Okuma-kun?”

At this point, I was already wearing a full-face mask, but Anna-senpai’s

feverish gaze didn’t leave me.

“Ah, ahhhh...”

Letting out what could only be described as a moan, Anna-senpai began to

approach me.

“To think I’d run into you here, Okuma-kun... fufufu, it must be fate... This
intense scent, resonating in my lower abdomen... ah, haaah, it’s coming from
you, isn’t it, Okuma-kun...?”

Clutching her shoulders and desperately trying to suppress her trembling,

Anna-senpai began to pick up speed.

Was this the backlash of suppressing her sexual desires all summer?

Or was it because I myself had been “treated” by Nadeshiko-san and was

feeling restless?

Whatever the reason, Anna-senpai was already far from normal!

“Whaaaaaaaaat!?”

I threw the goldfish I had won at a stall and bolted into an alleyway, trying to
avoid attention and shake off Anna-senpai.

126
Anna-senpai’s physical abilities, as Gouriki often joked, were truly monstrous.

To gain even the slightest advantage, I zigzagged through several alleys

before finally climbing onto a rooftop to escape.

“Oh, Okuma-kun. I appreciate you moving to a place with fewer people, but if
you go too far, I might not be able to hold back anymore.”

“...Huh?”

In an instant.

My body, which had been clinging to the rooftop, was slammed onto the
asphalt below.

And, horrifyingly, she had perfectly controlled my weight and posture, so it

barely hurt at all.

“I’m not Okuma! I’m not Okuma!”

Realizing that running or resisting was futile, I tried lying, but it had no effect.

In fact,

“Huh? What? Ugyaaaaaaah!?”

Anna-senpai pinned me down and, without hesitation, buried her face in my

crotch.

Her hot, ragged breath, far hotter than the summer air, seeped through the thin
fabric of my pants, warming my groin. This is bad! This is really bad! Stop!
Don’t squirm like that!

127
“Huuu, haaa, huuu, haaa, huuu, haaa... This, this is it...! I’ve been wanting this
scent for so long... no, it’s even more intense than I imagined... my head is
spinning... ah, ahhh, what is this? What is this───!!”

Anna-senpai, who had been greedily inhaling the scent of my crotch while
firmly gripping my hips, suddenly convulsed violently. Her ample buttocks, in
particular, bounced dramatically... and with each bounce, I could swear I heard
the sound of liquid dripping, but that must be my imagination, right?

How long had she been convulsing?

Finally, Anna-senpai, who had stopped moving, suddenly lifted her face.

"Ah, haa..."

Her face was in a state of ecstasy. Her drooping eyes were so moist they
looked like they were about to spill tears, her mouth was dripping with
shameless drool, and her cheeks were flushed as if she had a fever.

"You're the only one who makes me feel this way... the only one who makes
me feel this bittersweet, happy feeling... There's no way you're not Okuma-
kun..."

"...Ugh."

Her appearance was like that of a beast consumed by desire, but the smile on
Anna-senpai's face was as gentle as that of an angel I once admired... and it
stirred a fierce conflict within me.

"Ah, fuaa."

Then, Anna-senpai's body trembled slightly.

128
"Ah, ah. Again. When I smell that scent rising from there, my body heats up
again...!"

"Wait, hold on!"

Without hesitation, Anna-senpai buried her face in my crotch again.

And this time, it seemed she had taken an interest in my baton, which was
wrapped in ‘Armament Haki’. (One Piece Reference)

"This, this is it... This is what my body always craves to be filled with... munch"

"Ah───────!?"

Anna-senpai started putting my baton in her mouth!? No, no, no, no! This is
bad! Really bad!

Anna-senpai's hot saliva, overflowing like an active volcano, effortlessly

penetrated my pants, making my baton slick.

Anna-senpai's soft lips and the tip of her nose moved up and down vigorously,
and as she sniffed the scent of my steamy crotch, her movements gradually
accelerated.

"Wait, no more! Seriously, stop!"

Since my hips were firmly gripped, I couldn't escape, so I grabbed Anna-

senpai's small head with both hands to pull her away. But,

"Ah, ah, ah, fuu. Pushing my head down... Okuma-kun, you're so rough, aren't
you...?"

Whaaaaaat!? Anna-senpai's movements accelerated even more!? Why? Why is

she moving even faster when I'm trying to pull her away with both hands!?
129
No, no, no! I can't take it anymore! I can't! Uwaaaaaah, tamaaaaaa!

"...Ah, now that I think about it."

Anna-senpai suddenly stopped moving and lifted her saliva-covered face.

Huh? What? Is she pulling a last-minute tease on me?

"Okuma-kun, why are you at Ayame's family home? I remember you saying you
wouldn't leave Tokioka Academy's school district all summer... Could it be
that you lied to me and spent the whole summer vacation with Ayame...?"

Anna-senpai's eyes had changed from those of a predator hunting a man to

those of a grim reaper hunting a life.

Ah, no. This isn't just a tease. This is a ‘five-inch nail’ kind of woman.

"Ah, gyaaaaaah!?"

While I was thinking something stupid, Anna-senpai suddenly bit down on my

‘son’.

Right now, it's just a small pain that lets me know I'm being bitten, but if she
goes all out...

"Answer me honestly, Okuma-kun."

Anna-senpai bit down on my vital spot while skillfully talking to me.

There's no way I can say, "I'm not Okuma," in this atmosphere.

"What were you doing with Ayame in this hot spring town, behind my back...!"

130
Ah, so it's already decided that we did something, huh? Well, we did go to the
hot springs, but...

"We didn't do anything! We didn't do anything! It's a misunderstanding! Please

listen to me, gyaa!"

In response to my instinctive male excuse, Anna-senpai's biting force

intensified.

It hurts! Stop! It's going to tear! It's not going to be a tama-hyun, it's going to
be a tama-gusha!

"Okuma-kun. I'm not really blaming you, you know?"

"Huh?"

"If you just tell me the truth, that's enough. ...No matter what the content is, no
matter what kind of treatment this feeling of mine forces upon you, it's proof
of my love, proof of my affection. No matter what happens, it's right and
should be blessed..."

Her eyes were fixed.

It must be that. The moment Anna-senpai found out I was here, it was game
over. Since Anna-senpai has immobilized me, I can't even pretend to be a
member of SOX like before... Today might be my death anniversary.

"Like I'd give up so easily!"

I mustered all my strength to resist.

"Oh my. Okuma-kun, you're like that too, aren't you? You're happy about my
love, and you're convulsing just like me... Hehehe, you're so cute, so
131
adorable. ...That aside, if you don't answer me quickly, my love will bite you in
half, you know?"

Anna-senpai's biting force was gradually but surely increasing.

Damn it, what kind of monstrous strength is this! No matter how much I
struggle, I can't escape her restraint at all!

Before I knew it, both my hands were firmly locked by Anna-senpai, and all I
could do was wriggle my upper body pathetically... Damn it! The only result is
that my mask is slightly out of place!

"Hyehh!? Ah, T-Tanukichi!?"

That's when it happened.

From the shadows of the winding alley, I heard a high-pitched voice.

"W-w-w-what are you doing with that person!?"

The person who made eye contact with me through the gap in my displaced
mask was...

"Yutori!?"

Crouching in the shadows, staring intently at us, was Yutori Nuregoromo

herself, her face bright red. She stammered, and the moment our eyes met,
her flushed face turned pale.

"W-w-w-what, T-Tanukichi, you, you're doing it in the open, like, like wild
animals! Like wild animals!"

Yutori, who had parted ways with me a few days ago at the solo exhibition of
Saya Otome-senpai, was wearing the same easy-to-move-in but not too
132
revealing outfit, and without caring about getting dirty, she plopped down on
the spot.

Then, Anna-senpai moved like a ghost.

"Ta... nukichi...? Who is this... calling Okuma-kun so familiarly...?"

Drool. Anna-senpai lifted her face from my crotch, dripping with saliva, and
locked onto Yutori. Her eyes were filled with unmistakable murderous intent.

"Run, Yutori, ruuuun!"

"Eek!? Hyuu!?"

But it was already too late.

"Even I'm still too embarrassed to call Okuma-kun by his first name, so who
exactly are you to him...?"

At a speed that seemed to warp time and space, Anna-senpai closed the
distance to Yutori, grabbed her ponytail, and pulled her face close.

"Ah, ah, ah, I-I'm... Tanukichi's classmate from middle school..."

"Calling him by his first name again! Okuma-kun's classmate? Is that all? Is
that all it takes for you to call Okuma-kun by his first name and even interfere
with my chance to love him...? This person smells dangerous... If I don't
eliminate her here and now... for the sake of love."

"Huh? What? Hyiiii!?"

Anna-senpai's slender fingers, driven by long-term abstinence and jealousy,

began to dig into Yutori's throat. Oh no! At this rate, Yutori's throat will be
taken by Anna-senpai's fingers, and I'm panicking too!
133
"Wait! Stop, stop!"

I rushed to Anna-senpai and grabbed her from behind, but her monstrous
strength didn't even acknowledge my interference. On the contrary,

"Uguah!?"

Anna-senpai threw me away with one arm, and I was slammed into the ground
in a pitiful state. This time, I wasn't even allowed to break my fall, and the
impact ran through my entire body.

"...Okuma-kun. I have a lot to talk to you about later, including Ayame."

"Wait, wait, what the hell is going on!? Just because I called you by your first
name, you're going to kill me!? Are you out of your mind!?"

Thanks to my intervention, Yutori seemed to have regained a bit of composure

and confronted Anna-senpai with logic. But,

"? What are you talking about? You insolent...!?"

Grrr, Anna-senpai's fingers dug deeper into Yutori's throat.

"All my actions come from my love for Okuma-kun... Therefore, everything I do

is right, and as long as I follow this feeling, everything will be accepted and
loved, and of course, Okuma-kun will love me too. It's absolute justice, you
know? The one who's wrong is you, trying to take Okuma-kun away from me."

"...Uwaaaaaaaah!?"

Realizing that reasoning was futile, Yutori began to struggle with all her might
to escape Anna-senpai's demonic grip.

134
But her resistance was almost meaningless, and Anna-senpai's fingers, now
turned into deadly weapons, didn't stop.

"Ah, I was just looking for something to anthropomorphize, I didn't mean any
harm... Ugggggh!"

This is really bad! I dragged my aching body and lunged at Anna-senpai.

But if this keeps up, I'll just get thrown away again. What should I do? How can
I stop Anna-senpai in her rampage!?

...Should I release it? My Longinus Spear.

Screw ethics. Yutori's life and Anna-senpai's future are at stake here.

To stop Anna-senpai, who possesses overwhelming combat power like the

White Devil of the Federation, I'll have to pull out something like "The White
Magma of Pleasure."

It's not like I want to release it just because I reached my limit holding back
during my earlier entanglement with Anna-senpai or anything! This is a real
emergency!

Just as I was about to take off my pants, which were already on the verge of
leaking,

"Bero Bero Yamada!"

"Kuchu Kuchu Sato!"

"Zuko Boko Takagi!"

"Dopyu Dopyu Kojima!"

135
"Biku Biku Tanaka! All five of us together..."

“””””The Shocking Rear End Five Young Executives! We have arrived!”””””

What the hell just appeared!? Something completely different from what I was
about to release just showed up!?

A group of five, wearing suits and sunglasses, looking annoyingly cool, turned
to look at me from behind.

"Your comrades and the godly artist kept insisting on stopping the
competition, so..."

"After hearing the situation, we decided to hold off that monster and continue
the competition as a compromise."

"Honestly. You kids are so dramatic, calling it a monster..."

"Just as Keisuke-dono predicted, it's just a runaway youngster."

"A woman who's lost control of her desires, what's there to struggle with...
aaaaah!?"

As they arrogantly crossed their arms, Biku Biku Tanaka was sent flying
sideways and crashed into a wall, unable to move.

Ah, ah, ah.

These guys, without even knowing what kind of monsters their actions are
creating, are running their mouths...

"...What on earth is going on...?"

136
“”””......””””

The remaining four of the Five Young Executives awkwardly turned their heads
toward Anna-senpai, who had just buried Biku Biku Tanaka.

"Mother, Ayame, this insolent person, and now you people who suddenly
appeared... Why do you all try to interfere when all I want is to love Okuma-
kun...?"

With Biku Biku Tanaka's blood splattered on her cheek, Anna-senpai made a
tearful smile and clenched her fists tightly.

Then, without a word, she accelerated and swung her fist at the Five Young
Executives.

“”””Gyaaaaaaaah!?””””

Now's my chance!

"Yutori! Are you okay!? Can you stand!?"

"Goho, goho. Eh, ah, Tanukichi...? W-what the hell is that woman!? Tanukichi,
what the hell did you do!?"

"Explanations later! Right now, we need to prioritize escaping!"

I tried to pull Yutori up by her hand. Huh? Did I miss?

"Y-you idiot! Like I'd hold hands with you! It's embarrassing!"

"This is no time for that! ...Then, like we did in middle school."

"Eh, ah, but, that requires something to grab onto... ah."

137
Yutori rummaged through her pocket as if she remembered something.

"I have this."

She pulled out a ring toss ring.

"Why do you have something like──ah."

That's when I remembered Yutori muttering about looking for something to

anthropomorphize earlier. ...Yutori, you, don't tell me.

"──No, more importantly! We need to get out of here now! Whoa!?"

Kuchu Kuchu Sato, now in tatters, flew past me, brushing my shoulder.

"Where do you think you're going with that insolent person, Okuma-kun?"

Fast! The Five Young Executives were wiped out already! Useless as a non-
vibrating rotor!

Damn it! I was planning to save this stalling tactic for later.

"Fu, fuhahaha! What are you misunderstanding!?"

I adjusted my mask and puffed out my chest at Anna-senpai.

"I am not Okuma Tanukichi! I am a proud member of SOX, subordinate to Blue

Snow, the Onahole Forbidden for Forty Days Sentimental Full-Body Organ
Bomber!"

Ah, ah. I just went and said that name myself. It's official now.

138
"What!? Could it be, it was you again...? ...That's right. Now that I think about it,
there's no way Okuma-kun would be so dishonest as to come to Ayame's
family home behind my back... Ugh, it's disgusting!"

Anna-senpai covered her mouth with a handkerchief and tried to spit out all
the saliva in her mouth.

"Alright! Let's escape now!"

"Eh, uh!? O-okay!"

Even though this was no time for it, Yutori, who had been spacing out, was
pulled up using the ring toss ring. Right now, Yutori and I are holding onto the
ring toss ring, indirectly holding hands.

At first, I led the way through the back alleys, but Yutori quickly regained her
composure and started pulling me along with her swift steps.

It's like being on a moving walkway, but way faster. Wow, she's fast.

Back in middle school, we often chased down Public Order and Morals Act
violators like this, working together to catch them, but she's gotten much
faster since then.

Even if we lose in a short-distance sprint, we should be able to outrun Anna-

senpai in a long-distance run.

We've already turned so many corners since Anna-senpai disappeared from

sight. We've completely shaken her off.

"Hey, Yutori, there's something I want to ask you."

"Ah!? I should be the one asking! I have a mountain of questions! First of all,
that monster woman! What the hell is she... huh!?"

139
Yutori, who had turned to look at me, froze when she saw something behind
me. Following her gaze, I turned around.

"I won't let you escape... you detestable man of SOX!"

Anna-senpai was running on the roof of a two-story building and then leaped
toward us!?

“Daaaaaaah!?”

Yutori sped up, and I was pulled along, accelerating.

Thud!

"Tch. I was planning to kick your head in..."

Anna-senpai, who had narrowly missed us with a Rider Kick that no child
should see, landed on the ground as if nothing had happened and began
chasing us again at an incredible speed.

"Hehehe. If I just eliminate that man, my infidelity will be erased... And if I bring
back his head as a souvenir from Akekado Hot Springs, Okuma-kun will surely
love me forever this time... I can't wait."

Being targeted for my life like it's some local limited-edition keychain is super
exciting!

Come to think of it, my dad once bought a local condom called "Dosukebe
Bear" during a hot spring trip to Hokkaido and said something pretty low like,
"Don't loosen your wallet or your crotch while traveling!" Haha.

"W-what the hell is up with that woman!? Jumping down from there like it's
nothing... And how did she know where we were!? I'm faster, so she must have
140
figured out our location and cut us off... Hey, Tanukichi! Get it together, you
idiot!"

"Eh!? Gyaaaaaaaah!?"

Yutori took a sharp turn without slowing down, and I was about to crash into a
wall from the centrifugal force.

I managed to run along the wall like a ninja for a moment and landed safely on
the ground.

"Hey, I think Anna-senpai is probably tracking me by scent."

Right now, I'm emitting a stronger scent than usual because of Nadeshiko -
san.

"Huh!? Scent!? Like a dog!? That's impossible! What the hell is that woman!?"

"...Ah, well, actually, she's the student council president of Tokioka Academy."

"Don't lie to me!"

"I'm not lying! See, like I told you in middle school, she has a certain elegance,
right!"

"Not at all! Not even a millimeter! There's no way that lewd beast is the pure
and proper student council president you admired!"

I'm at a loss for words.

“That’s right. She’s not the Anna-senpai I admired anymore… But she’s also a
victim of the Public Order and Morals Preservation Act. That’s why, for now, all
we can do is run.”

141
“…Seriously, that person is the student council president of Tokioka
Academy…?”

It seemed Yutori believed me based on the tone of my voice. She was

trembling as if in shock.

“But if this keeps up, we’re just digging ourselves deeper. If we don’t find a
way to cut off the scent and disappear, we’ll never escape… Oh.”

Yutori glanced back at me, showing her teeth in a challenging grin. It was the
face she made when she had a brilliant idea.

“I’ve got one. A way to shake off the beasts tracking us by scent. Hey,
Tanukichi, do you still have a way to stop that woman, even if just for a bit? In
the meantime, I’ll guide you to safety!”

Yutori gave me a thumbs-up, urging me on… but my face was bitter.

Well, yeah. There is a way to stop Anna-senpai. But it’s not something I really
want to reveal in front of Yutori.

Thud!

““Whoa!!””

A bicycle suddenly fell right in front of us.

Yutori jumped to avoid it, and I kicked off the ground to follow, but our balance
was thrown off. We tangled in mid-air, our landing was messy, and our speed
dropped significantly.

“Got you!”

142
And then, with the momentum lost, Anna-senpai pounced on us with a
demonic expression.

This was no time to worry about not wanting to reveal things in front of Yutori!

“Take this, my last resort!”

In an instant, I stripped off my boxers and flung them at Anna-senpai’s face.

“Ah… hah… nn…”

Anna-senpai slumped to the ground, trembling uncontrollably.

“…Tanukichi, you…”

Yutori, who had pulled me back up to top speed, was glaring at me with a
deadpan expression.

“You’ve really changed, huh…”

That’s why I didn’t want to show her!

“We bought some time, so it’s fine, right? More importantly, we need to get to
safety!”

I shouted, looking back at Anna-senpai, who was already fading from view.

“…Ugh, how disgusting!”

Anna-senpai, with a mix of pleasure and anger on her face, slammed the 40th
Day of No-Nut November Sentimental Full-Body Genital Bomber boxers onto
the ground. Despite her dazed state, she kept glancing at the boxers as she
stumbled after us.

143
Her speed was much slower than before, but there was no telling when she’d
return to top speed.

“Alright, alright! Keep up, you perverted criminal!”

Thud, thud, thud, thud, thud!

With the distinctive sound of someone going all out, Yutori reached full speed
in one breath.

We burst out of the back alleys, crossed the bustling main street, and leaped
into the riverside.

“This is dangerous! Yutori, are you forgetting you’re dragging me along behind
you!?”

“Stop saying perverted stuff! When you think that monster’s chasing you,
there’s no time to hold back!”

“I’m not saying anything perverted! Hey, Yutori, ahead! Ahead! Are you
planning to crash into the Akegamon River!?”

“Yeah! That’s exactly it! Hold your breath!”

Splash!

Just as she declared, Yutori plunged headfirst into the Akegamon River, which
had low water levels.

Ignoring the stares of families playing by the river, Yutori floated along with
the current. Thanks to the ring toss ring connecting us, I followed, keeping my
face just above the water.

144
“For now, let’s head under that bridge.”

Yutori pointed with her eyes to the bridge farthest upstream on the Akegamon
River.

“Scent trails get cut off in water. Even trained police dogs would struggle, but
since she’s human, this should shake her off.”

After that, Yutori and I stayed submerged under the bridge for a while, only
climbing out once we were sure Anna-senpai wasn’t chasing us. The summer
air felt pleasant on our skin after being in the water for so long.

“…So, what’s going on, Tanukichi?”

Yutori, who had been resting with her back to me, was the first to speak.

“Why are you a member of SOX?”

Her accusatory tone was understandable, given the circumstances.

“Ah, I get that you have a lot to say… but you’re the one who’s the co-
representative of The Mammals and Absolute Hemlines. Why are you in that
position?”

Yutori, who had avoided me and other guys out of fear of being associated
with the son of a criminal, had ended up in such a role. In response to my
question, Yutori hesitated, saying, “Well…” before blurting out,

“…M-my situation doesn’t matter! The real issue is why you, who wanted to be
as upstanding as the Tokioka Academy student council president, ended up
joining a terrorist organization and even sticking a rod into the hole of a
perverted doll to celebrate! What the hell happened to you!?”

What a way to put it… It’s frustrating, but I can’t argue! Twitch, twitch.

145
“I already told you… I don’t admire Anna-senpai anymore.”

“You don’t admire Anna-senpai anymore?”

Yutori turned around, catching the nuance in my words.

“Don’t tell me you’ve switched to Blue Snow…?”

“…Yeah.”

When asked directly, I felt embarrassed and averted my eyes as I nodded.

To cover up my embarrassment, I started explaining how I became a perverted

terrorist.

It all started with a misunderstanding and being forced into a relationship.

While helping with the terrorism, I felt liberated and exhilarated, finally able to
express myself.

Later, Anna-senpai woke up and realized the distortions in society and the
existence of unconscious victims.

And throughout it all, the one who guided me was none other than Blue Snow.

“—Yutori, I’m done killing myself to fit in. And, well, this is kind of an
afterthought, but I hate seeing good people like Anna-senpai end up like that
just because of ignorance. That’s why I’m involved in perverted terrorism.
You’ve felt the same way since middle school, right? That’s why you’re now a
member of a terrorist organization, aren’t you?”

Back then, I hadn’t paid much attention.

146
But Yutori had always been tormented by rejecting me and other guys.

She had watched with tearful eyes as classmates who unconsciously violated
the Public Order and Morals Preservation Act were taken away by the Decency
Squad.

“That’s why, during the baton battle, you added that final touch at the very end,
right?”

“—No, I… I…”

Yutori, still facing away from me, clenched her fists tightly and trembled.

“…I’m not… such a noble person anymore…”

For some reason, Yutori seemed to be blaming herself, her voice strained.

“…Ah, well, Yutori. I’m not some amazing person either.”

Unsure how to respond, I spoke to Yutori, who had shrunk into herself.

“All these thoughts of mine, I learned them from Blue Snow. That person is
truly incredible. Sure, her thought process is a bit out there, but she’s strong at
her core, never bending herself, and fighting against this world. I couldn’t help
but admire her, wanting to be that strong. I’m nowhere near her level.”

Carried away by my passion for Kajou-senpai’s charm, I shared my honest

feelings with Yutori.

“…Hey, Yutori. If you’re dissatisfied with the organization you’re in now, why
don’t you join us under Blue Snow?”

147
“What the hell is that?”

Yutori’s demeanor changed completely.

She stood up abruptly, looking down at me with a face on the verge of tears.

“You’re just like what Keisuke said, no different from the Decency Squad!”

“What the hell is that?”

Yutori’s heart was in turmoil.

Just moments ago, she had been shrinking in shame in front of Tanukichi,
who declared he was done killing himself. She had desperately tried to hide
her pathetic self from SOX, who were pursuing a vision so different from her
own and Keisuke’s.

But now, it was different.

She felt an uncontrollable anger toward Tanukichi, who was gushing about his
admiration for Blue Snow and belittling himself unnaturally.

“You’re just like what Keisuke said, no different from the Decency Squad!”

That indescribable anger and emotion were summed up in those words, which
she knew were almost an unfair accusation.

“Chasing after some ‘admiration’ for a ‘righteous image’ that doesn’t exist,
you’re still killing yourself!”

She couldn’t accept that.

148
Because if Tanukichi was denying himself, wishing to become someone
completely different… then what about her, who liked him as he was now?
She’d look like an idiot!

…No, that’s not it. This was entirely her selfishness.

Somewhere in her chaotic heart, Yutori was calmly observing herself.

When Tanukichi said he wanted to aim for Tokioka Academy, a place she
could never reach, she hadn’t felt this way. Back then, there was only
resignation, a sense that she had to step back.

Why was she so angry now? It was because of her ego.

“SOX deserves to be crushed! I wasn’t motivated at first, but I’ve changed my

mind. I’ll definitely bring SOX down in this match.”

But even though Yutori knew her anger stemmed from her ugly ego, she
couldn’t control it.

Jealousy, guilt, shame—all these emotions mixed together, leaving her

helpless.

“You can’t even walk properly in that monster woman’s Akekado Hot Springs
anymore. If I bring back the items for personification, it’ll be my victory by
default. Too bad for you.”

“Ah, wait, Yutori!?”

Leaving Tanukichi behind, Yutori fled the scene, trying to hide the ego swirling
inside her.

Yutori was filled with unbearable feelings.

149
She had criticized Tanukichi with logic, saying he was no different from the
Decency Squad, but in the end, it was just a childish, emotional outburst. It
was her way of saying, “If you’re going to switch your admiration to someone
on the anti-establishment side, why didn’t you choose me!?” And at the same
time, she was certain she would never have been chosen.

There was no way Tanukichi would choose someone as weak as her, who had
chosen to kill herself and those around her, pretending to be satisfied.

And even though she was aware of her ego, Yutori felt pathetic for lashing out
at Tanukichi and running away. She ran through the back alleys of Akekado
Hot Springs, her body soaked.

“…I hate this… I hate myself…”

Hey, Tanukichi. Why did you become a perverted terrorist?

If you had stayed at Tokioka Academy, I could have blamed society for my
unrequited feelings and just gone with the flow without thinking.

But now that you’ve become a perverted terrorist, I have no choice but to
blame myself for my weakness…

“Ugh…”

She hated herself for thinking like this, wishing she could just die. But she
couldn’t stop these thoughts.

“…It’s not me. It’s not my fault! SOX and Blue Snow are the ones to blame! Blue
Snow turned Tanukichi into someone like the Decency Squad!”

She had to pin the blame on someone, or she felt like she’d collapse.

150
To protect her heart, Yutori ran through the back alleys of Akekado Hot
Springs, bustling with festival-goers, groaning as she went, determined to
defeat the evil she had labeled SOX in this competition.

“She really left me behind…”

I was at a loss.

I had no idea why Yutori had suddenly gotten so angry, and more importantly,
it was clear that if this kept up, we’d lose the third round.

“…Anyway, what’s with her saying that Kajou-senpai and I are like the Decency
Squad? That’s ridiculous.”

The Decency Squad and the people behind it believed their way of thinking
was right and tried to separate people from anything sexual. There’s no way
we’re the same.

They’re the ones trying to create contradictions like “non-perverted boys” or

“sweet salt.” How could those rigid people, who in a way don’t even see others
as human, be the same as us?

“Not seeing others as human…?”

Then, something clicked in my mind.

Recently, someone had warned me about something similar.

‘—That girl isn’t Blue Snow. She’s just a human.’

As those words floated vaguely in the depths of my mind,

151
“Where, where is that detestable man…? Huh? This scent… he’s nearby.”

“…!”

A chill ran down my spine as I looked up and saw a white figure peeking
through the gaps between the food stalls.

I reflexively slid into the river. My floating thoughts were blown away in an
instant.

What do I do!? What do I do!?

I couldn’t move from here, but I also couldn’t just give up the match.

…Judging from the statements of the Five Young Executives who were
eliminated instantly, if I talked about Anna-senpai, I might be able to force a
no-contest… but my opponent was Keisuke Onigashira. There was no
guarantee things would go smoothly, and more importantly, Kajou-senpai
would never give up in a situation like this.

If I could gather the materials for personification without Anna-senpai finding

me and return to the hideout… but was there really such a convenient
method…?

“Oh, right.”

While keeping an eye on Anna-senpai from the water’s surface, I remembered

a possibility.

If that perverted bodyguard who always accompanied Anna-senpai was here…

we still had a chance!

“Please, be here~~”

152
After confirming Anna-senpai was moving away, I climbed onto the shore and
called a certain number.

The rules of the Personification Scavenger Hunt prohibited receiving advice

from allies, so I couldn’t contact the people at the hideout via PM, but…

‘Hello, this is Tsukimigusa Oboro.’

This guy wasn’t being watched at the hideout, and he wasn’t an ally. I could
confidently ask for his help. Well, it’s a bit of a foul, but given the unexpected
circumstances, I’ll let it slide.

“Sorry for the sudden call, but are you at Akekado Hot Springs right now?”

‘Yes. I was asked to accompany Anna-sama on her runaway.’

Bingo!

“Hey, there’s something I need to ask of you. Is that okay?”

‘I’m sorry, but I can’t do that. I’m currently focused on searching for Anna-
sama and don’t have time to spare for other matters—’

“I’ll tell you where Anna-senpai is, so please!”

‘Understood. What do you need?’

This guy is really like a robot—stubborn yet simple. It’s helpful, but it also
makes me worry every time.

“Alright, then I’ll tell you what to do. Just follow my instructions—”

153
‘There’s only five minutes left~’

While Keisuke grinned, Yutori stood listlessly in front of the three items she
had brought.

Around Yutori, SOX members were forcefully protesting against Keisuke.

“You damn old man, cut it out already!”

“Hey, Keisuke, you’re not seriously planning to call this third round a no -
contest, are you?”

“Don’t mess with us! You little man! Are your asshole and pores the same
size!? Didn’t you see the reaction of the Five Young Executives who came
back first!?”

‘Eh~? Even if you say that~. They’re saying this.’

“““““Huh? We didn’t see anything.”””””

The Five Young Executives, who had returned in tatters, trembled as they
testified.

“They’re clearly making that face people make when they’ve had a terrifying
experience, like having their virgin anus pierced by a giant radish, and their
memories are automatically erased! Don’t look away from reality! Remember
the monsters you’re trying to mass-produce!”

“““““We didn’t see anything.”””””

“Ahhh! Enough!”

154
They’re desperate, huh.

Yutori watched the SOX members, especially Blue Snow, and thought vaguely.

There’s no way Keisuke would accept a no-contest from the start.

Even if they somehow managed this match, there’s no way they could beat the
Love Machine.

That’s why it’s smarter to stay in a comfortable position like me, where I can
just go with the flow and reap the benefits.

Even the little artist who had been making a fuss with the SOX side at first was
now completely resigned, saying, ‘It’s over… he’s gone…’

Yutori tried to justify herself while watching Blue Snow confront Keisuke.

Tanukichi’s the one who’s wrong for choosing someone like that. It’s not my
fault, it’s not my fault…

‘Alright~. One minute left~. Let’s wrap this up~.’

“Daah! One minute left! That was close! Damn it!”

Then, at that moment.

Someone appeared from the Akegamon River, blowing away Yutori’s gloomy
thoughts.

“From here on out, it’s the real match, right?”

155
The instructions I gave to Tsukimigusa were simple: "Bring three lewd items
from Akekado Hot Springs to the upper stream of the Akekado River."

I waited in the river to avoid being detected by Anna-senpai, and in exchange

for a handkerchief soaked in my scent, I received the items.

The problem was how to return to the hidden shrine, but the lowered water
level of the Akekado River helped. Along both banks of the river, ropes were
strung to help small boats navigate upstream when transporting shrine
maintenance supplies. Relying on those ropes, I made my way back while
submerged in the river.

Thanks to the Akekado River’s naturally gentle flow and the fact that I’d built
up quite a bit of stamina over the past few weeks, I managed to make it back,
but my whole body was shaking. At least all the lewd thoughts in my crotch
had been blown away. I was in full-on wholesome sage mode.

"Now comes the real challenge, huh?" I said, pointing at Keisuke while carrying
the items Tsukimigusa had brought on my back.

"That’s right. This is where the real battle begins. Let’s get to work, Judge,"
Keisuke replied in a lighthearted tone, then turned to Otome-senpai, who was
standing beside him, looking dazed.

Otome-senpai responded with a "Uh, yeah," but then muttered something like,
"That guy… he looks so refreshed compared to before the match… Could it be
that he’s accepted that monster within himself…?" What the hell is she even
imagining?

"Alright, Round Three: the Borrowed Item Personification Contest! Time to

reveal the items you borrowed!" Keisuke announced.

Yutori and I were brought out to the open space in front of the shrine,
surrounded by hundreds of perverts in a semicircle. We placed the items we’d
brought on the tatami mat.

156
"…"

I noticed Yutori, the female co-representative of Absolute Hemlines and The

Mammals, staring at me from behind her fox mask with a look of disbelief.

"Hmph," I crossed my arms and met her gaze as if to say, "What of it?"

Then, beyond Yutori’s perplexed expression, I saw Kajou-senpai peeking out

from the wall of perverts with a smile on her face.

"Welcome back!" she seemed to say, wiggling her thumb between her index
and middle fingers. Riding the high of the moment, I flashed her a grin and
returned the gesture.

"…Drop dead, you idiot!"

Ah, crap. She thought that lewd thumbs-up was directed at Yutori. If this keeps
up, they’ll think I’m a total pervert.

"Alright, let’s start with the guy who was almost late—Onakin Fortieth Day
Sentimental Full-Body Genital Bomber! Show us what you’ve got!" Keisuke
prompted, cutting off any chance for me to explain myself to Yutori.

Whatever. I’ve got a mountain of things to discuss with Yutori besides clearing
up this pervert misunderstanding. Now that my identity’s been revealed, I’ll
make time to talk to her after the match.

"What I brought is this!" I declared, pulling out a rattle lottery machine from the
bag I’d been carrying. I presented it as if offering it to the shrine, then used a
falsetto voice to make it seem like the machine was talking.

157
"…From morning till night, everyone gangbangs me. At first, only white stuff
came out of my hole, but after being gangbanged so much, by the end, red
stuff started coming out…"

"Disqualified!" "Enemy of women!" "This is pure evil. If a psychic peeked into

that guy’s head, they’d definitely faint!" (The criticism is coming from Ayame & Kosuri)

If that’s the case, a psychic would explode if they peeked into Kajou-senpai’s
head!

Huh, so the rattle lottery machine wasn’t well-received? When Tsukimigusa

explained how the rattle violated the Public Order and Morals Preservation
Act, I was pretty impressed.

"Alright, next up!" Keisuke urged.

Yutori stepped forward, reaching into her bag. …Her bag had been moving a lot
since earlier…

What Yutori pulled out was… two dragonflies tied together with string. She
held the string and let the dragonflies fly around for a bit.

Eventually, the two dragonflies began mating in mid-air. Oh no, is she really
going to—

"Blue Dragonfly Flight. Lewd☆"

Personification? More like straight-up lewd! What an idiot!

Well, at least she’s careful enough to say "Blue Dragonfly" instead of "Ao-kan"
to avoid getting flagged by the PM, but still, what an idiot.

"Hmm… This first item is hard to judge," Otome-senpai muttered, looking

around at the perverts’ reactions to Yutori’s and my answers.

158
Finally, she declared, "Well, by a narrow margin, Onakin Fortieth Day
Sentimental Full-Body Genital Bomber wins!"

Yes! Thank goodness most of these perverts prioritize their desires!

"Alright, next up is the second item!"

"My second item is this!" I announced, pulling out a toy gun. I placed my finger
on the trigger and started teasing it.

"See, this is the good part, right?"

"Ah, no, don’t touch that protrusion… I can’t take it…!" (falsetto)

"The barrel’s filled with air, and it’s all tense now, huh?"

"Ah, don’t say that… You’re the one who filled me up…"

"You’re shaking so much, I can’t aim properly. All that’s left is to pull this —"

"No, no~~~, I can’t take it anymore——!" (falsetto)

——Bang!

I pulled the trigger and fired, ending my turn.

"……" "……" "……"

And with that, the female members of SOX concluded their evaluation.

159
What’s with this lukewarm atmosphere of them watching my solo act with
pity?

"Regret masturbation is a thing, huh?" Kajou-senpai quipped, stealing the

spotlight with her clever remark. The world is so unfair.

"Alright, next!"

Yutori silently pulled out a can of soda from her bag. It was a carbonated
drink, but she started shaking it vigorously.

"…What’s with you? You just started, and you’re already about to burst."

Yeah, I get it. The can’s filled with carbon dioxide.

"See? Isn’t this better than being with a girl?"

At that, the members of The Bacon Lettuce Mothers' Association got excited,
shouting, "Whoa!? A stew!?"

"Go on, let it out."

Pshhhhhhh!

When Yutori opened the can, a massive spray of white foam shot into the air,
sparkling in the sunlight. Was this supposed to be refreshing?

"…Tch. It got on my hand. Sticky and gross."

She licked the white stuff (the foam) off her hand, ending her turn.

"Well, the winner of this round is clear. The co-representative wins," Otome-
senpai declared.

160
"Wait, that wasn’t even personification!" I protested.

"In the first round, Blue Snow broke the rules a bit to earn points. The one who
gets the better reaction wins," Otome-senpai dismissed me.

Ugh, fine. Yutori’s answer was well-received, especially by The Bacon Lettuce
Mothers' Association. I guess I can’t help it. It’s not like I’m getting worked up
because my answer was also well-received by the perverts or anything.

"Alright, let’s move on to the final item!"

Following Keisuke’s lead, I pulled out my last item.

"My final item is… chopsticks!"

The unsung hero of festival food stalls, the chopsticks are the perfect way to
wrap up this personification contest.

I held the tip of the chopsticks and started pulling them apart with just enough
force to make them creak, switching between my falsetto and normal voice.

"Come on, spread your legs already, okay?"

"Nooo, if you force them open like that, they’ll break, they’ll break!" (falsetto)

"You’d be better off just obeying. Otherwise, I’ll have to use force—"

"Ah, no, nooo~~~!" (falsetto)

Snap.

The chopsticks split unevenly.

161
"See? If you’d just obeyed, it would’ve been a clean break."

"Ugh, my first time… and it’s like this…" (falsetto)

With a tearful performance, my turn ended.

"Gross." "Gross." "Gross."

Hey, Tsukimigusa, they’re saying your idea’s gross! Are you escaping reality?
Shifting blame? Say whatever you want. Your peace of mind comes first.

"That guy’s been giving nothing but beastly answers lately. He’s got some
messed-up desires."

"Should we call the Morals Division, the police, or an ambulance out of pity?"

I’m genuinely worried about how I’ll be treated after this five-round dirty joke
contest.

"Alright, last one!"

Prompted by Keisuke, Yutori pulled out the final item from her bag.

"…A fox?"

It was a fox that looked vaguely familiar, cowering in fear amidst the crowd of
perverts.

Yutori silently gestured to the fox, and then—

Roll. The fox flipped onto its back, exposing its belly.

162
Stand. The fox stood on its hind legs and started humping.

To top it off, the fox wrapped itself around the leg of a man who looked like a
member of Throbbing Butts and started thrusting its hips with wild, animalistic
movements. The members of The Bacon Lettuce Mothers' Association looked
like they were about to scream, "Beastiality boys' love!?" with sparkling eyes.

"…That’s it."

Seriously, you’re going all out at the last minute!?

Well, taming a wild animal takes a lot of effort, but for Yutori, it’s probably a
walk in the park. Plus, it’s not even personification.

She probably had victory in the bag the moment she left me in the river. Still,
what a half-hearted effort. By the way, the similarity between "half-hearted"
and "handjob" is terrifying.

As expected, the result of the match was:

"Well, the final item goes to Onakin Fortieth Day Sentimental Full-Body Genital
Bomber. Therefore, SOX wins this third round."

"Boo. Too bad. Well, Round Four is tomorrow night. Be on time!"

As soon as Keisuke casually announced the end of the third round, Kajou-
senpai rushed over to me with a big smile.

"You did great! As expected of the pervert I scouted!"

We high-fived, and of course, Kajou-senpai slipped in an unnecessary dirty

joke: "The dry sound of flesh hitting flesh…" Then she looked up at me with
relief.

163
"Anna contacted me saying she arrived at Akekado Hot Springs earlier than
expected, so I was worried for a bit."

"Well, I managed to escape, and I got some good stuff, so it’s a silver lining."

"I’m really glad. I was already preparing for your funeral and the celebratory
red rice at the same time."

"What’s with that? I just thought Blue Snow wouldn’t give up, so I pushed
through."

"…Right. If it were me."

Kajou-senpai lowered her gaze and muttered something that sounded both
relieved and disappointed.

"Uh, Kajou-senpai!?"

Her attitude, which had become more noticeable since we came to Akekado
Hot Springs and started facing off against Keisuke and the others, was
bothering me. I was about to ask her about it when—

"Don’t get close to Blue Snow-sama, you future perverted criminal!"

Kosuri’s rocket headbutt slammed into my side, leaving me writhing in pain.

"…You could at least show me a little more appreciation."

"What are you talking about? You can’t even fight without tracing Blue Snow-
sama. Besides, the only reason you won this time is because you brought
back some random stuff with protrusions on your back. Don’t get cocky."

"Whatever. A win’s a win. Anyway…"

164
Kosuri’s outburst reminded me.

I need to have a proper talk with Yutori.

I turned my head and spotted Yutori, who was releasing the fox back into the
mountains while glancing at me.

As I approached her, clutching my side—

"…!"

Yutori stood up with the wariness of a wild animal and bolted down the hidden
path leading to Akekado Hot Springs.

"…She totally ran away."

I get that it’s awkward, but running away that blatantly hurts a bit. It’s a
different kind of escape than the one she used back in middle school.

"Hey, you."

Kosuri, who had been clinging to Kajou-senpai earlier, was now looking up at
me with sharp eyes.

"Don’t tell me you two figured out each other’s identities…"

"Hey, you two. Let’s head back. Anna’s already here, so pull yourselves
together. Tighten up like you’re regenerating your hymen."

"Yes, ma’am! If it’s Blue Snow-sama’s orders, I’ll tighten up so much I’ll create
multiple barriers!"

Kajou-senpai’s intervention cut off Kosuri’s words.

165
"Hey, Kosuri. What were you about to say?"

"…Ah, it’s nothing."

Kosuri brushed me off and chased after Kajou-senpai, who was heading down
the hidden path to Kiyomonsou.

…What the hell. Kajou-senpai, Yutori, Kosuri—everything’s so weird.

With a heavy heart, I started my journey back.

"No, no, this feeling… it’s a lie, it’s all a lie…"

As Yutori walked back along the mountain path, surrounded by perverts, she
muttered to herself, desperately trying to deny the fiery emotions spreading
within her.

The feelings that had ignited during the intense battle with Tanukichi a few
days ago, when they’d competed in a lewd baton pass, had reignited the
moment she saw him crawl out of the river.

The desire to join them, to enjoy dirty jokes without hesitation, to be part of
their camaraderie.

"No, if I acknowledge this feeling, then I…"

It wouldn’t just mean completely rejecting her weak, passive self up until now.

It would also mean acknowledging the relationship between those two.

166
The way they high-fived so happily, so full of trust in each other…

"No. No. It’s fine. I’m not wrong. SOX is wrong, and that will be proven soon."

That’s right. This high will fade soon. It’s just a temporary thing.

When SOX crushed Sophia Nishikinomiya’s petition and when Yatsuga Forest
handed over the erotic books, this fiery excitement was quickly drowned in
despair.

"This time, too, in the fourth and fifth rounds, that Love Machine is waiting…"

SOX will lose there.

That pervert on a whole other level will prove SOX wrong during the latter half
of the five-round dirty joke contest.

"So, I just need to do nothing and suppress this feeling…"

With clouded eyes and a weak expression, Yutori silently walked down the
mountain path leading to Akekado Hot Springs.

------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 6: The Ones Who Give Birth to Love

“Nooooooo! I absolutely refuse!”

“You don’t have a choice. Give it up.”

Nadeshiko-san, gripping the T-shirt I had just taken off, cornered Kosuri in the
room and glared at her. This all started right after we returned to Kiyomonsou
Inn following the third round.

167
Anna-senpai, who was still lurking around Akekado Hot Springs, was likely still
after my life—Onakin Fortieth Day Sentimental Full-Body Genital Bomber—so
Kajou-senpai and I were discussing how to hide me from her. That’s when
Nadeshiko-san barged in and made her proposal:

“Let’s make Kosuri wear this T-shirt that’s soaked with Tanukichi’s scent to
throw Anna off.”

Upon hearing this, Kosuri’s pupils dilated, and she tried to bolt from the room,
leading to the current situation.

“Kosuri. You’re supposed to be Tanukichi’s half-sister at Tokioka Academy,

right? So, it’s plausible that you’d be wearing his hand-me-downs. The scent
and traces of Tanukichi around Akekado Hot Springs can be explained away
as either coming from the hand-me-downs you’re wearing or from the terrorist
Onakin Fortieth Day Sentimental Full-Body Genital Bomber spreading it
around.”

“I absolutely refuse! That woman will kill anyone she deems a nuisance, even
if they’re supposed to be siblings! Who knows what she’ll do if she finds out
I’m wearing hand-me-downs? And I’m not about to wear clothes soaked with
Tanukichi’s bodily fluids!”

Kosuri resisted with all her might. But then—

“Kosuri. I’m asking you too. Please help us deceive Anna’s instincts.”

“Understood! Kosuri will do anything for Ayame-sama, no matter what

happens!”

Kosuri immediately caved when Kajou-senpai asked her. Well, that was
expected.

168
“Thank you, Kosuri. Don’t worry. Even Anna wouldn’t harm you just for wearing
hand-me-downs. At worst, she might turn you into a living love doll.”

That’s just sexual slavery!

“Anyway, that’s settled. Tanukichi, you need to get into the hot spring right
now.”

“Huh, right now?”

“You’re sweating too much. We’re moving you to another inn using the
strategy you revealed in the third round, which involves the Akekado River. But
even if it’s for a short time, you’ll still be moving above ground, so it’s best to
get rid of your scent.”

I was wary when I heard “hot spring,” but if that’s the reason, fine.

“Oh, and one more thing.”

As I was preparing for the bath, Nadeshiko-san firmly grabbed my shoulder.

With a smug grin, she leaned in close to my ear and whispered:

“You showed some real guts in the third round. I’m impressed. For now, I’m
satisfied.”

Her sudden closeness and unreserved praise made my face burn.

“But you’re still one step short, you know?”

Nadeshiko-san tightened her grip, as if to say, “I’m not letting you go.” Ah, I
have a bad feeling about this.

169
“Well, you did work hard in the third round, so I’ll give you a reward.”

Then, Nadeshiko-san put me in a headlock and grabbed Kajou-senpai.

“Alright. It’s time for a mixed-gender bath.”

““Wait, whaaaaaat?!””

Kajou-senpai and I shouted in unison. I, in particular, raised my voice since I

had just been promised a reward.

“That’s not a reward; that’s a penalty!”

“Huh? But you’re happy, right?”

“That’s not the point!”

Wait, does Nadeshiko-san think I’m a masochist or something!?

I’m the infamous Okuma Tanukichi, who was suspected of being a sadistic
demon in the third round, dammit!

…No, seriously, I just became a sage in the third round, and now I’m being
forced to switch back to being a warrior. Can we not do this?

Nadeshiko-san, aren’t you supposed to care about your only daughter’s

chastity, even if it’s just out of obligation!?

“Anyway. Before we face the fourth round, let’s have a proper heart-to-heart.”

“…I’ve already said I’ll do things at my own pace. Stop meddling.”

170
Kajou-senpai, already used to Nadeshiko-san’s absurd antics, muttered some
complaints but eventually stopped resisting.

Damn it, at this rate, I’ll have to team up with Kosuri to deal with Nadeshiko -
san—

“Don’t run away… Don’t run away… Don’t run away…”

No good. Kosuri, who had overcome her fear of Anna-senpai to meet Kajou-
senpai’s expectations, was already at her limit. She couldn’t even see what
was happening around her.

Kajou-senpai and I were helplessly dragged by Nadeshiko-san into the mixed-

gender bath.

“……”

“……”

This is awkward.

While washing ourselves, we could focus on the task at hand, but now that
we’re soaking in the tub, I have no idea what to do.

I can’t just chat like before because I’m currently the Onakin Fortieth Day
Sentimental Full-Body Genital Bomber, so acting normal is out of the question.

Kajou-senpai seems to sense this too, as she’s acting a bit distant.

“…Hey, Tanukichi.”

171
Breaking the suffocating silence, Kajou-senpai finally spoke.

“Um, you were amazing in the third round. The chopsticks, the lottery
machine… I had no idea you had such devilish desires. Your future wife is
going to have a thorny path ahead of her.”

That’s a harsh topic.

“That’s not it! I got help from Tsukimigusa, who was attached to Anna-senpai…
So the idea came from her!”

Well, it’s true that I adapted and expanded on it, but still.

“So, I’m not amazing at all. I had to rely on the enemy, the Discipline
Committee.”

“What are you talking about? That’s exactly why you’re strong.”

Kajou-senpai spoke clearly, just like when she praised me for cooperating with
the Student Council and the Discipline Committee during the Gathered Fabric
incident.

I’ve changed a bit since then. I’ve learned to rely on others more openly. But
that’s just me acknowledging my own weaknesses and limitations. It doesn’t
mean I’ve become stronger or grown as a person.

“I’m not strong. During the third round, I didn’t break because I thought Kajou-
senpai wouldn’t give up. It wasn’t because I was strong.”

“If it were me, I would’ve lost the moment I was thrown into that situation.”

“Huh? What are you talking about? If it were Kajou-senpai, you would’ve done
even better. You wouldn’t have needed to rely on the enemy like I did.”

172
“…Is that so? Thank you.”

Kajou-senpai nodded hesitantly.

“Um, Kajou-senpai. I’ve been wondering… You’ve been acting a bit—”

“Tomorrow’s the fourth round.”

Just as I was about to press further, Kajou-senpai abruptly changed the

subject.

“We’ll finally be facing Love Machine directly… To be honest, I don’t think I can
beat her.”

“Wait—”

I was stunned by Kajou-senpai’s sudden display of weakness.

Sure, even I had my doubts about whether Kajou-senpai could stand up to

Love Machine, who’s said to be in a league of her own even among the top -tier
ancient perverts.

But I believed that Kajou-senpai, who had accepted the challenge so

confidently, could win. And even if she couldn’t, I thought we could support her
from the sidelines.

But for her to admit defeat so openly…

“Do you remember the book I brought back when we negotiated with the Four
Major Lewd Joke Terror Organizations for the unhealthy magazines from
Yatsuga Forest?”

“Yeah, that devilish book.”

173
It was a BL (Boys’ Love) book called “The Encyclopedia of Forest Splatter
Multiplication” or something, which led to the proliferation of natto girls at
Tokioka Academy, starting with Kajou-senpai.

“That book was self-published by Love Machine when she was in middle
school, at an event called Comiket.” (Comiket is a comic convention)

…What?

Comiket. I’ve heard of it. It’s a place where passion, desire, and perverts from
all over Japan gather. My dad used to frequent it when he was young, handing
out condoms and vibrators to cosplayers while saying, “You dropped this.”

And in that place, a middle school girl—no, Love Machine—self-published that

kind of book?

“And she used that book as a textbook to plant the seeds of corruption in me.
In other words, Love Machine is my mentor in that world. At least for now, I
can’t see a way to win.”

Kajou-senpai spoke in a voice tinged with fear, her head bowed.

“If we can’t beat Love Machine in the fourth round, the fifth round will be
hopeless too. The fifth round will have not only Love Machine but many other
strong competitors. The nature of the competition is simple—answering
words—so the amount of knowledge will determine the outcome. The PM
nullification won’t last long while playing table tennis… This two-wins-one-loss
situation isn’t actually in our favor.”

Kajou-senpai laid out all the anxieties she had been holding back, explaining
how precarious our current situation was.

Her expression wasn’t the confident one she had when accepting the five-
round dirty joke battle.

174
It was the face of an ordinary girl burdened with worries…

“It’s going to be okay!”

I shouted, trying to blow away both the feelings welling up inside me and the
anxiety on Kajou-senpai’s face.

Kajou-senpai’s eyes widened as she looked at me, then she turned bright red
and averted her gaze.

“Why are you being so pessimistic? There’s no way Kajou-senpai would lose to
some dirty joke! I believe in you, and so does Kosuri! You don’t realize how
amazing and strong you are! In this crazy world, you’ve stayed true to your
love for ridiculously lewd jokes! As long as we have you, even Saotome-senpai
will come back! We’ll… I’ll support you, so please don’t talk like that.”

I desperately tried to persuade her. Because this version of Kajou-senpai, who

seemed on the verge of being crushed by her own vulnerability… was
something I couldn’t accept.

"...Right. Yeah, hearing you say that, Tanukichi, makes me really happy."

That smile of hers returned. It was a complicated expression, as if she was

both disheartened and yet genuinely pleased.

"Well then, let's get out soon. I need to hide you in another inn quickly."

Following Kajou-senpai’s urging, I left the bath and returned to the changing
room.

Shortly after, I heard the sound of Kajou-senpai returning to the changing

room as well.

"...Was this really the right thing to do?"

175
And so, our time passed as we prepared for the fourth round the next day.

"Now then, everyone! The fourth round of our best-of-five series, The Creation
Contest, is about to begin!"

Led by the overly excited Keisuke, the hidden shrine today was enveloped in
an unusually tense atmosphere.

The members of the Bacon Lettuce Mothers' Association were quietly

seething with excitement, waiting like a calm flame, while the remaining three
organizations wore expressions of resigned acceptance, as if they had already
prepared for the end of the world.

Everyone was cowering in fear of how terrifying the Love Machine might be,
and Keisuke was doing his best to cover for that.

"Hmm. Finally, we’ll get to see the Love Machine in action. I’m looking forward
to it."

...Well, Saotome-senpai was the only one whose eyes were sparkling with
excitement.

Saotome-senpai and the Love Machine must see each other every day, but
this might be the first time she’s witnessing its true power. Or perhaps, since
normal conversations with the Love Machine are impossible, this kind of
setting is the only way to gauge its pervertedness.

"Hey, what’s up with this guy?"

I pointed at Kosuri, who was lying face-up on the slimy stone ground,
unmoving, and asked Kajou-senpai, who was in her Blue Snow state.

176
"Ah, yeah. She’s been like that for a while now, acting as Anna’s body pillow."

"Fuhehe. Compared to the monster girl’s super strength and bodily fluids, the
slimy riverbank is nothing…"

"...Sorry about that. So, Blue Snow, what’s going on with Anna-senpai?"

"For now, I’ve taken her to a separate room to calm down. I tried to get more
details, but she wouldn’t say much beyond what she said on the phone. Her
main point is that she won’t go back until Sophia gives in."

That meant there was a possibility she might stay holed up in Akekado Hot
Springs even after school started. Maybe I’d been guaranteed a peaceful life
for a while—

"If we don’t resolve Anna’s transfer issue soon, she’ll probably kidnap and
confine you in Akekado Hot Springs, turning it into her love nest."

Yeah, that sounds about right. She did say something about kidnapping me
before summer break and spending all her time loving me. If we don’t resolve
Anna-senpai’s issue soon, instead of peace, she’ll turn into a monster
unleashed from the chains of home and school.

"Well, either way. It’s a problem we’ll deal with after winning the current
match."

Kajou-senpai turned to face Keisuke, Saotome-senpai, and Nadeshiko, who

were seated at the shrine.

"Now, let’s explain the rules of The Creation Contest Game. Each team will
send out two participants. The theme will be something like 'scrubber × ○○' or
'○○ × caterpillar,' where one side is blank. You’ll fill in the blank and present a
steamy scenario for that pairing."

177
A steamy scenario involving a scrubber or a caterpillar? That’s disturbingly
dystopian.

"The order of responses is first-come, first-served. Once each team has

responded once to a theme, we’ll decide the winner for that round. There will
be up to five themes, and the first team to win three themes wins the match."

Huh? Does that mean it’s possible to let Kajou-senpai handle all the
responses?

As Kosuri and I exchanged glances, Keisuke continued.

"However, each participant must respond at least twice. You can’t just leave
everything to your partner, okay?"

Kosuri clicked her tongue in annoyance.

"Well, this is just a little handicap to make sure the Love Machine doesn’t
dominate the entire match, so bear with me."

Despite Keisuke’s comment, which could put the important match at a

disadvantage, the members of the four major lewd joke terror organizations,
who had been strict about the match so far, barely raised any objections.

Damn it. That perverted old man and the others are looking down on us.

"Blue Snow, don’t let their provocations get to you. Let’s do our best!"

"...Yeah. Of course."

"Alright, now that the boring rule explanations are over, let’s bring out the
participants!"

178
At Keisuke’s signal, Kajou-senpai and I sat down on the tatami mat laid out in
front of the shrine. Immediately after,

"…!"

Zzzzzzzzzzzzz…!

From behind, in the direction where the four major lewd joke terror
organizations were gathered, an evil pressure erupted.

When I turned around, there it was.

A woman from another world, dressed in a luxurious, puffy dress, with bras
stacked on her head, holding a bright red decorative dictionary—the Love
Machine.

Next to her was a woman who seemed to be participating in The Creation

Contest Game with the Love Machine, but she was so overwhelmed by the
Love Machine’s presence that she looked like she might disappear at any
moment.

"Glasses with one lens missing."

The Love Machine, seated on the tatami, opened the red dictionary in one
hand and let out an electric spark from its eyes.

"× Kakeru!!"

Then, with a powerful shout,

"A humpback whale being launched into the air… Dufufu."

It declared a mysterious pairing and laughed eerily by itself.

179
Uh… I’m not used to otherworldly greetings, so I’m not sure how to react.

"Alright, let’s get right to announcing the themes. Take it away, judge!"

At the shrine, Saotome-senpai opened a store-bought dictionary with both

hands, pursed her lips, and began selecting words.

"...Okay, this one’s good. The first theme is… ○○ × okonomiyaki." (okonomiyaki is a
japanese cake)

Saotome-senpai said while drooling slightly. What, are you hungry?

Now that I think about it, Saotome-senpai had been in a slump all summer, to
the point where she hadn’t been eating much, let alone showing any interest in
food.

If her appetite is returning, that means she’s almost back to holding her
brush… Maybe her feelings are already starting to solidify… I had a bad feeling
about this.

But it’s fine. Kajou-senpai will definitely blow the Love Machine away in this
match! She’ll captivate Saotome-senpai with her lewd jokes! Look, she’ll surely
respond in 0.1 seconds like she always does… Wait, huh?

That’s when I noticed the strange atmosphere in the room. Well, it’s been an
otherworldly space from the start, but this was different. Things weren’t going
as expected.

No one was responding.

Kajou-senpai, who I thought would immediately shout "Here!" and respond,

was glaring at the Love Machine with a guarded expression. The Love
Machine, meanwhile, was casually sipping tea and muttering things like "A
cracked teacup × 100% fruit juice," completely relaxed.

180
Could it be that the Love Machine was planning to let the other Mothers'
Association member handle the first two themes? Why? To gauge Kajou-
senpai’s response patterns, maybe?

"...Here. I’ll respond."

While Kajou-senpai and I were confused by the opponent’s move, a member of

the Mothers' Association raised their hand.

"Metal spatula × okonomiyaki. The okonomiyaki is relentlessly tormented by

the steel-bodied metal spatula brothers, who target its only two holes. At first,
the okonomiyaki is soft, but it gradually hardens under their relentless assault.
Eventually, the okonomiyaki is sold to be eaten by an unspecified number of
people."

The member spoke calmly and matter-of-factly, but a beastly BL (Boys' Love)
vibe seeped through their words.

Then, I noticed Kajou-senpai raising her hand, trying to respond.

Huh? Could it be that the Love Machine’s plan is to exhaust Kajou-senpai’s

responses early and turn the latter half into a one-sided game?

"Here!"

Thinking that, I stopped Kajou-senpai and raised my hand instead.

Kajou-senpai turned to me with a confused expression, saying, "Huh?"

"Leave the first half to me. Blue Snow, save your strength for the second half
against the Love Machine."

"...Okay, got it."

181
Kajou-senpai seemed like she wanted to say something but hesitated, then
reluctantly agreed to my plan, muttering, "I was looking forward to performing
a scene where a hot iron plate aggressively grills an okonomiyaki."

Turning to Keisuke, who was urging us, "Hey, are you going to respond or not?"

"My answer is bonito flakes × okonomiyaki!"

The room buzzed with murmurs.

"Is the bonito flakes the aggressor?" "Did they mix up the roles?" Voices rose
from the Mothers' Association. But no, the bonito flakes are definitely the
aggressor.

"The bonito flakes climb onto the hot, hardened okonomiyaki and start
grinding their hips, licking the holes as if demanding more! And not just one—
multiple bonito flakes! Once they’re satisfied, they just flop down on the
okonomiyaki and stop moving, acting like selfish queens who love to
dominate! If you’re not satisfied with anthropomorphizing the pairing, you can
think of the bonito flakes as a skinny guy forcing someone to lick his excretion
hole, okay?"

"Match goes to you."

Seeing the Mothers' Association member writhing in agony after my response,

Saotome-senpai declared.

"As expected, a guy who’s always being targeted has a different perspective."

"Please don’t analyze me! Anyway, leave the first half to me."

I’m not as strong or amazing as Kajou-senpai. I’m just a small guy who
admires her.

182
But I can still support her.

I can at least clear the way for Kajou-senpai to fight with all her might.

"...Hmm, let’s move on to the next theme, shall we? Judge."

"Right, right. Hmm, which one should we pick?"

Even the host and judge were slightly overwhelmed. Eventually, Saotome-
senpai decided on the next theme.

"Hmm, let’s go with this. An empty eye drop cap × ○○."

Wait, why did the theme suddenly become so niche!?

"Here."

"Wha—!?"

Before Saotome-senpai could even finish saying "An empty eye drop cap—,"
someone had already raised their hand. And it wasn’t just me who was
shocked.

Kajou-senpai was also on the surprised side, but the one who had crafted a
response in virtually no time was,

"An empty eye drop cap × a human model standing in the school building at
night."

The Love Machine declared the pairing in a smooth tone.

And then, without pause, it began to unfold the so-called steamy scenario.

183
"The eye drop cap had been faithfully catching its partner’s fluids all this time.
But when its partner’s fluids ran out, the cap was discarded during a science
class, deemed useless. At night, the cap, still thirsty and crushed by despair,
encountered a human model in the science prep room. The human model
weakly lamented, 'I don’t know why I’ve been standing here all this time.' The
cap rolled over to the human model. You see, the human model couldn’t
move. And as the human model sobbed, its tears fell into the cap. The cap,
now filled both physically and emotionally, declared to the human model, 'You
must have been standing here just to fill me.' 'Every lonely night, I’ll catch your
tears for you.' The cap began to climb up the human model’s body, aiming for
its face. It tightened the hole in itself, using the same principle as someone
sucking on lips. That’s when the human model realized it had made a mistake
in accepting the cap. The spot where the cap was sucking felt unbearably
good. The human model tried to resist, but the cap, noticing the human
model’s alluring state, didn’t stop and continued to climb up to the torso. The
human model let out sweet moans. But since it couldn’t move, it couldn’t
resist further. Eventually, the cap reached the human model’s chest
protrusion. 'Maybe something other than tears will come out.' Ignoring the
human model’s desperate resistance, the cap sucked hard, hoping to catch
the fluid it was meant to hold. The human model reacted so loudly it seemed
like it might fall apart, and the cap enjoyed every moment of it. But no fluid
came out. 'Huh.' But then, a sticky liquid dripped onto the tip of the cap. Yes, it
was the human model’s drool, dripping from feeling too much. The cap
declared to the human model, 'From now on, I’ll catch not just your tears, but
all your disgusting, sticky fluids too. I won’t let you dry up… I’ll keep squeezing
you with my skills, forever…'"

STOOOOOOOOOP! MY BRAIN IS GOING TO MELT!!!

What is wrong with this woman!? No wonder she’s feared! Look at this! A
mental attack on the level of what the UN would ban! The kind of power that
would make the four major lewd joke terror organizations kneel! The reason
Japan doesn’t have nukes!

And this woman, could it be…?

"She’s barely anthropomorphizing them."

184
Kajou-senpai was trembling for the same reason I was.

That’s right. The Love Machine’s delusions are unfolding with inanimate
objects remaining inanimate. While it gives them emotions and some form of
personification, it doesn’t give them human attributes. Not even genders—just
the concepts of dominance and submission.

It’s accepting the objects as they are, like a saint, and creating pairings.

This is truly a delusional power from another dimension.

"Uoooooh! So this is the Love Machine’s true power!"

Then, something happened at the shrine.

Saotome-senpai suddenly grabbed her brush and started drawing furiously.

While we were stunned, she finished the drawing in a matter of minutes.

"Hmm. Perfect."

With a full-faced smile, Saotome-senpai revealed a single illustration of the

scene the Love Machine had just described. A human model with drool
dripping from its neck as an eye drop cap sucked on it. This is insane. It’s
absurdly, ridiculously erotic!? Is this what they call expressive power!?

The members of the four major lewd joke terror organizations, who had been
slumped over, began to adapt to the new stimulus, like middle schoolers who
start getting excited by fellatio and anal after initially finding it disgusting…!
This is the worst possible situation, isn’t it?

"Now then. Hehehe. It’s about time we hear a response from the SOX side."

185
Keisuke urged us, who were frozen in disbelief, as if to deliver the final blow.

"...Tch."

Kajou-senpai grimaced and raised her hand forcefully.

"My answer is an empty eye drop cap × a new bottle of eye drops! The cap,
tired of the dried-up eye drops, steals a young, fresh bottle of eye drops filled
with plenty of fluid! 'I’ll never let you dry up again,' the cap declares, tightly
sealing itself and performing a skilled suction technique honed over years of
experience! The eye drops, desperate to release their fluid but unable to, suffer
in agony! And from behind the cap, the owner’s forceful fingers approach,
trying to break the seal to ejaculate the eye drops! Will the cap be able to
withstand the owner’s aggressive assault while continuing its relentless
torment of the eye drops!?"

Kajou-senpai ended her response with what sounded like a teaser for the next
episode.

It was a response worthy of praise—or rather, condemnation—in the realm of

lewd jokes. It was undeniably insane. But,

"...Hmm. Blue Snow’s response was quite stimulating, but it still falls short of
the Love Machine’s."

After the Love Machine’s over-the-top perversion, Kajou-senpai’s response

lacked impact.

"Alright, let’s move on to the next theme."

"Hmm. Hehehe, the Love Machine’s response has got my creative juices
flowing. I want to bask in this sensation a bit longer, but my mouth is itching
for more stimulation."

186
Saotome-senpai, still holding her brush, trembled like a warrior in battle as she
flipped through the dictionary.

"...Hmm. The next theme is ○○ × Typhoon No. 1."

"Here."

Once again, without a moment’s hesitation, the Love Machine raised its hand.

"Typhoon No. 3 × Typhoon No. 1—Typhoon No. 1, which had fled its
hometown and headed north, thought, 'No one cares about me anyway,' and
was about to disappear like seaweed in the ocean. But chasing after it was
Typhoon No. 3, which it had left behind in its hometown. Typhoon No. 1,
attacked from behind, was swept away by the low-pressure system of
loneliness and merged with Typhoon No. 3 as it was demanded. With
tremendous force, it made landfall on the mainland, and as if trying to make
its first love real, it engaged in a fierce entanglement. Houses across Japan
creaked and groaned in resonance, and when it was all over, the sky cleared in
the aftermath of the typhoon, entering a state of pure clarity... The vast blue
sky—what kind of conclusion does it hint at for the relationship between
Typhoon No. 1 and Typhoon No. 3, which began as they were swept along?"

Stop it already!!! Even the summer weather forecast is going to make me lose
my cool! If the weather girl says something like, "It’s going to be a humid day,"
and I look up to see a cloudy sky, I’ll start imagining that the world is like a
skirt wrapped around a pair of soaked panties, with my head stuck inside! Ah,
my mind is being polluted!

"Nkkkkkkk! You’ve finally gone and touched upon 'phenomena,' huh? Kukuku,
well done! Let’s draw it! The intense entanglement of weather on a global
scale!"

And over there, they’re getting all hyped up too.

187
"As expected of the Love Machine... Even as an enemy, I have to admire how
utterly insane this is—yes!"

Kajou Ayame enthusiastically raised her hand.

"My answer is: AMeDAS × Typhoon No. 1! (AMeDAS is a collection of japanese weather
stations) Constantly monitored by AMeDAS, countless typhoons lose their
momentum out of shame. But this time, Typhoon No. 1 was different! A
perverted typhoon that gets more excited the more it’s watched! AMeDAS,
excited by this, takes countless photos and spreads them nationwide through
TV stations! Typhoon No. 1, excited by this perverted assault, grows even
stronger and finally makes landfall in Japan! At the peak of her excitement,
she blows away buildings with her heavy breathing and causes floods with her
torrential rain of love fluids! And of course, the perverted AMeDAS
voyeuristically films, saves, and spreads the footage!"

No good. I can no longer watch the weather forecast with a clear mind.

The towering cumulonimbus clouds are a symbol of rising excitement.

No, that’s not important. What’s the verdict...?

"Hmm. Considering everyone’s reactions and my own impressions, it’s a

landslide victory for the Love Machine."

Saotome Otome, with refreshing clarity, declared it outright.

"...You’ve got to be kidding."

In an instant, we were caught up. The score was tied at two-two. The next
theme would decide the winner.

I was about to call out to Ayame, who stood motionless with her back to me,
when—

188
"Hmm. This feels a bit dull, don’t you think? Judge?"

"...Huh? Really? I find it quite stimulating."

"Don’t you want to see the Love Machine go all out?"

Keisuke and Saotome, abandoning their roles as moderators, began an

ominous exchange. Soon after,

"Very well. Then, the final theme is...!"

Saotome, her eyes sparkling with excitement, announced through the PM

system:

"The final theme is: ○○ × ○○!"

"...Huh?"

"Yes."

Suddenly presented with this incomprehensible theme, Ayame and I were

stunned, barely able to breathe.

Without a moment’s hesitation, the Love Machine raised its hand and began
weaving a curse of destruction:

"A timid male lion, bored at the zoo, being seduced × the summer railway that
connects to that day."

"The escaped lion. What it found was a railway on the verge of being
abandoned. The railway advised the lion, 'I am a railway that can take you
back to the past. If you follow me, you can return to your wild self.' But the lion

189
was born in the zoo and had no such past. Still, the railway desperately
tempted the lion. After all, the trains that used to stimulate it had become
routine, and their frequency had decreased. The lion, swayed by the railway’s
passionate advances, began walking along the tracks even before sunset. The
railway, heated to a scorching temperature, strongly stimulated the lion’s
sensitive paw pads. 'What are you doing?' the lion faltered. But the lion, who
had never fought before, couldn’t resist any further. The railway continued to
provoke the lion, deliberately derailing it to make it step on gravel, trembling
slightly to threaten that a train was coming. Eventually, the lion reached its
limit and dug its claws into the railway. The railway let out a high-pitched
sound from the unprecedented stimulation. The lion, annoyed by the sound,
bit down next. Grind, grind, grind—the railway made sounds of unspoken
pleasure. Stimulated by the bone-crushing noise, the lion continued walking,
adding further retaliation to the railway. ...The lion, reclaiming its wildness,
intensified its assault, and the railway’s provocations escalated in turn. Will
the lion be captured first, or will the railway break under the torment? Either
way, it’s a journey of love with a set time limit. ...The lion and the railway—
where will their journey to 'that day' lead?"

The Love Machine, having spewed out its magma-like, viscous delusions,
smiled smugly from behind its mask, letting out a low "Ukukuku..."

I can’t understand this...!

Even the members of the Four Major Lewd Joke Terror Organizations, who
had been approaching the Love Machine’s level thanks to Saotome’s
illustrations, were now clutching their heads, polluted by its madness.

"Hmm... In such a short time, the Love Machine has shattered several of my
preconceptions. Magnificent!"

Saotome, trembling with fear but undeterred, continued to move her brush.
Now, inspired by the higher existence that is the Love Machine, Saotome was
reaching a new stage as an artist.

190
A pervert from another dimension was guiding her to greater heights.
Protecting her from a society that demanded wholesome art. Everyone would
deeply desire and praise Saotome’s work.

How alluring must the position of the Onigashira Group’s leader seem to
Saotome now?

"Now then, the duo from SOX?"

In this overwhelmingly disadvantageous situation, Ayame was—

"It’s your turn to answer, you two!"

"...!"

Could we possibly come up with a lewd joke to turn the tables?

"...Tch."

A long silence enveloped only me and Ayame.

This was no longer a stage for the Shinra Bansho Game but had transformed
into a place where everyone eagerly awaited and indulged in the new erotic
illustrations Saotome would create.

No one believed in our victory anymore. No one was even listening to Ayame’s
answer. It was an atmosphere I had experienced many times before.

Opinions and facts deemed correct were accepted, while anything else was
excluded from the start.

That was the atmosphere here. Keisuke looked down on us with a triumphant
expression.

191
But it’s okay. Ayame will pull through!

No matter how much others deny her, no matter how wrong her preferences
may seem, Ayame has always pushed forward without bending. She’ll blow
away this situation too!

"...Tanukichi."

Then, it happened.

Ayame turned to me.

With the same weak expression she had shown me yesterday at the hot
springs, she looked up at me. That expression was just like—

"Blue Snow!"

I placed my hand on Ayame’s shoulder, trying to erase that thought.

"It’s okay! This is exactly when Blue Snow shines! No matter the situation,
you’ve always been strong and straightforward, outsmarting those who
wouldn’t listen! That’s why I, and even Kosuri, were drawn to you! Now’s the
chance to show Saotome the strength and madness of Blue Snow!"

That’s right. Ayame captivates people with her extraordinary power.

And I, like during the Gathered Fabric incident, support that power.

That’s how it should be. The partner Nadeshiko wanted me to be—this is the
role I’ve been searching for.

"Blue Snow will be fine! So, just explode like you always do!"

192
"...Yeah, you’re right. Leave it to me."

Ayame nodded and turned forward.

Again. That smile again. A smile that seemed both defeated and relieved,
complex.

...Was this really the right thing to do?

As I hesitated, reaching out into the void between Ayame and me, that’s
when—

"──OM●KO OOOOOOOOOOOOOH!"

Ayame, having disabled the PM system, screamed, her entire body trembling.

The members of the Four Major Lewd Joke Terror Organizations, who had
been engrossed in Saotome’s illustrations, turned their wide eyes to Ayame.

"Look over here, you perverts! It’s my turn to answer!"

Ayame, kneeling forward, smiled boldly and confidently.

"My answer is: 0.3mm Mechanical Pencil × 0.5mm Lead!"

With her usual tone and usual audacity, Ayame charged forward.

"You’re too tight inside me! I’m going to tear apart!" The lead continued to
resist. But the mechanical pencil, whose body couldn’t survive without the
lead, forced the lead into its body! The lead’s body was scraped away,
accompanied by the pain of its skin being peeled off! Powder, whether precum
or love fluid, sprayed from the lead! Eventually, the mechanical pencil, having
swallowed the lead to its base, began inserting and removing the lead, now
reshaped to fit the pencil’s hole, to satisfy itself!"
193
"Hey, guys. Were the writing utensils in the inn’s guest rooms mechanical
pencils?"

"No, they were ballpoint pens."

"I hope they have some at the shop..."

A few of the idiots from the Four Major Lewd Joke Terror Organizations bit at
Ayame’s answer.

In terms of reception, it wasn’t losing to the Love Machine. It was still

anyone’s game.

But my naive expectations were quickly shattered.

"As expected, the Love Machine wins."

The judge, Saotome, declared the verdict far too easily.

"The reactions of the terror organization members were too varied to

compare. Therefore, I decided purely based on my own subjective opinion."

In other words, on this stage, Saotome had completely given up on SOX.

Four rounds lost.

As had been feared from the beginning, this also meant losing the fifth round.

Now that Saotome’s heart had tilted toward the Love Machine—Keisuke’s
side—it was all but certain.

"OOOOOOOOOH!"

194
Nearly four hundred members of Japan’s Four Major Lewd Joke Terror
Organizations, gathered by the riverbank, raised a victory cry in unison.

The weight of the fact that we, SOX, had lost, pressed down on us.

"You tried to remove the shackles of anthropomorphism at the last moment,

but it seems you fell just short."

The one who approached and spoke softly was the Love Machine, who had
stolen Saotome from us with its overwhelming perversion.

"I am the alchemist of decay, creating love from nothing. I cannot lose to
those like you, who must twist the natural order and anthropomorphize to
weave love."

What do you mean, creating love? You mean creating pus, don’t you?

But I couldn’t retort as the Love Machine walked away.

Its words stuck with me, as if I’d heard them somewhere before.

"Well, that’s the end of round four. Only tomorrow’s fifth round remains... I’m
looking forward to it."

As Keisuke declared the end, the members of the Four Major Lewd Joke
Terror Organizations returned to Akekado Hot Springs as usual. Copies of
Saotome’s illustrations, having reached a new level, were scattered, and some
gathered around them.

What was different this time was that Saotome had completely warmed up to
the Love Machine, saying things like, "Hey, aren’t there any other pairings?"
and "Hmm... how about grilled sanma × steamed tomato? That’s hot."

195
The fifth round might already be decided without even being fought.

"...No, what am I thinking? It’s not time to give up yet! Right, Blue Snow!"

We’ve been in desperate situations before.

But every time, Ayame’s unwavering power, and sometimes my support, got
us through. This time will surely be—

"...Senpai?"

"...Sorry, just give me a moment."

The scene before me was the complete opposite of what I had hoped for.

A girl crouched small on the tatami, her face covered by her hands, still
wearing her panties on her head, repeating in a faint voice, "...What do I do...
what do I do..."

For a moment, my brain refused to accept that this was reality.

Because the one trembling so weakly was none other than Ayame.

"Ah, uh, s-senpai...?"

I was flustered. In front of the shrinking Ayame, I fumbled with my hands and
mouth, pathetically.

Because I’d never seen Ayame like this before.

──No.

Was it really the first time? Had I never seen Ayame like this before?

196
During the Gathered Fabric incident, when Kosuri betrayed us and was thrown
off the bus, Ayame had said, "I can’t do this anymore," and hung up.

When I proposed a solution to the standoff, Ayame had joked, "I thought, 'If I
can’t make lewd jokes, I might as well die.'"

Had I, taking advantage of the fact that we weren’t face-to-face over the
phone, ignored the fact that Ayame had been on the verge of breaking?

Had I, idolizing Ayame, convinced myself that she was an invincible,

unbreakable, perfect hero?

──That girl is human.

The words Nadeshiko had whispered to me on the day we arrived at Akekado

Hot Springs finally pierced my heart.

I’m an idiot. I finally understood what Nadeshiko had meant.

The strength to stick to her strange love of lewd jokes, her extraordinary
abilities.

None of that mattered. It never did.

You couldn’t say she was just like anyone else. But.

Blue Snow... no, Kajou Ayame──

Was just like me. Human.

Why had I kept turning a blind eye to something so simple?

197
I had seen Ayame as some flawless hero and clung to that.

Until just now, I had been pushing everything onto Ayame, deluding myself into
thinking I was supporting her.

I had been relying on her until she broke down like this.

──You’re just like the Decency Squad, aren’t you!

This time, Yutori’s words echoed in my mind.

Back then, I had laughed it off. But now, those words stabbed at me.

That’s right, I’m exactly like the Decency Squad and the society that supports
it.

Forcing an ideal image onto someone, ignoring their flaws and contradictions,
and in the end──giving up on them because they didn’t match my
expectations...?

For a moment, the image of Anna before she became a beast flashed through
my mind.

"What the hell are you doing, you idiot!?"

"Guhah!?"

Kosuri, who had been standing behind me, watching Ayame, suddenly charged
at me.

"What did you do to Blue Snow-sama!? You monster shortcake!"

198
Since when did I have another nickname? Well, it’s better than "Onahole
Abstinence Forty Days Sentimental Full-Body Genital Bomber," I guess.

"Ahhh, the foul aura emitted by this trash using food to tear holes in perverted
imaginations must have affected her. Can’t be helped. Let’s get back to the inn
and rest."

Despite her harsh words, Kosuri was clearly concerned for Ayame. This time, I
was too guilty to even make a sound.

I couldn’t argue even if she said I had exposed her to my ‘aura’. Forcing ideals
onto someone is exactly that.

"Hey."

Nadeshiko, having waited for most of the people to return to Akekado Hot
Springs, placed a hand on Ayame’s shoulder.

"Don’t just sit there. The river’s water level will rise soon. We need to clean up
the tatami."

Nadeshiko helped Ayame to her feet and ordered Keisuke’s subordinates to

clean up the area.

"Also, I need to talk to you. Come to my room when we get back."

"...Yeah, I got it."

Ayame, her voice hoarse, leaned on Kosuri as they headed back.

Nadeshiko followed behind, then turned to me.

"I’m not giving you any more advice. Figure out what to do next on your own."

199
"...Okay."

Using the hidden route that connected to the inn where I was staying to avoid
Anna, I walked alone along the beast path at night.

Like a child clinging to its parents, I followed the light of my flashlight.

What should I have done?

------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 7: The Reason for Strength

Buzz buzz buzz buzz.

"...What the hell are you doing!?"

Nadeshiko, who had just finished preparing the bath and stepped out of the
room, was momentarily stunned by the sight before her. Ayame was holding a
shoehorn at crotch height, swinging it up and down vigorously. Snapping back
to her senses, Nadeshiko smacked Ayame on the back of the head, just like
she used to do with broken appliances.

"Ow!? What was that for!? I was just imitating the boys who get all excited in
the bath! They say they swing it around like this for fun!"

"Don’t say that so loudly! Just put it away already!"

"How cruel! How could you treat someone as wounded as me like this!? You
could at least comfort me a little! I can barely turn off any PM today, so all I
can do is play around with gestures!"

200
"Why would I comfort someone doing something so stupid!? Let’s just go
already!"

Nadeshiko tossed one of the bags she was carrying to Ayame and grabbed
her hand.

"I’ve packed your towel and change of clothes. It’s been a while since we took
a bath together."

The place Nadeshiko dragged Ayame to was the mixed-gender bath where,
over the past few weeks, she had forcibly thrown Ayame and Tanukichi in
multiple times.

"Ahhh, nothing beats a bath after work. I could do this every day and never get
tired of it."

"Hey, I’ve been wondering something. The water in this hot spring is all cloudy
and white. Did you and your husband mix in some of your bodily fluids or
something?"

"Will you learn some decency already!?"

Nadeshiko’s fist exploded.

"Ow! What’s with you, Nadeshiko!? Every time I make a dirty joke, you always
hit me with your iron fist! What’s the deal!? Is this some kind of physical
censorship!? It hurts!"

"Your comments would’ve been enough to get you in trouble even before the X
Prohibition Law was passed. This is just discipline!"

"...If it were Tanukichi, he’d probably give me a weird look but still play along
with my jokes. He’s way more fun to talk to than you, Nadeshiko."

201
Ayame pouted.

At that, Nadeshiko quickly leaned in to look at Ayame’s face.

"Speaking of Tanukichi... how long are you planning to keep deceiving him?
Honestly, I couldn’t even watch the fourth round."

"...That’s..."

Perhaps because Nadeshiko had suddenly changed the subject, Ayame

lowered her face.

"If this keeps up, the fifth round is going to be tough too... Hey, Ayame. Like
you said earlier, you enjoy being with that kid, right? I asked you this after the
first round too, but are you really planning to just relax at this hot spring inn?"

"No."

Ayame’s immediate response, despite the tearful atmosphere, was contrary to

Nadeshiko’s expectations.

"Like I said back then, there’s no way I’d back down now... If you’re seriously
trying to stop my terrorist activities, I don’t have the means to resist... But I
want to do as I please until I reach my limit."

Hearing Ayame’s firm words, Nadeshiko let out a sigh.

"Then hurry up and do something about Tanukichi. You’re the one who said it,
right? That kid has the power to embrace both the right and the wrong."

"...That’s why I’ve said multiple times that I’ll handle it at my own pace."

"Everything ends tomorrow, you know? There’s no time left."

202
Ayame fell silent, as if she already knew that fact.

Seizing the moment of hesitation, Nadeshiko pressed Ayame with a stern

tone.

"Or what? Do you think Tanukichi just doesn’t have what it takes?"

"That’s not..."

"Is that so? I’ve been watching him these past few weeks, and honestly, he
seems like he has no sense of self. The talent to embrace everything requires
a solid core, right? That kid seems more like that Tsukimigusa Oboro guy,
don’t you think?"

"...It’s true that Tanukichi is too influenced by one specific person right now,
and his core might be blurred. But I’m sure it’s there. The core that balances
all the elements he’s taken in must exist."

Nadeshiko smirked and averted her eyes from Ayame.

"Who is it? That ‘specific person’ you mentioned."

"...You already know."

Ayame sank her mouth into the bathwater, as if to say she wouldn’t answer.
Nadeshiko immediately put her in a headlock.

"Don’t get all shy on me now! Spit it out! I’ll dunk you!"

"Wait, that’s cheating! Cheating! I—! Tanukichi admires me right now!"

As Ayame flailed, Nadeshiko laughed.

203
"Well, that kid’s got good taste. No wonder his core’s all blurry."

"...It’s not just because it’s me, you know."

Perhaps because of the commotion in the bath, Ayame’s face was bright red
as she glared at Nadeshiko with half-lidded eyes.

"Tanukichi has always had this inferiority complex, even when he admired
Anna. At the same time, he has this neutral observational eye that can pick up
on people’s good points. But when that goes too far, he ends up completely
denying himself and chasing after a single ideal, falling into a state of blind
faith. That’s why he seems like he has no core. But if you remove that
excessive inferiority, all that’s left is the ability to recognize and honestly
embrace someone’s charm. I thought he could become someone who takes in
and reflects on the qualities of those around him... Well, at first, I only saw him
as a fun conversation partner who’d go along with my dirty jokes."

Ayame’s eyes suddenly darkened.

"That’s why I praised Tanukichi. I acknowledged his efforts, leaned on him at

times, and even entrusted him with important moments in our terrorism. I
believed he’d regain his confidence."

"But after all that, look at the state he’s in now."

"..."

Ayame stared into the void, not saying a word. It wasn’t that she couldn’t
refute, but rather that she seemed to be hesitating to respond. Eventually, she
spoke.

"...It’s because I didn’t truly praise Tanukichi from the bottom of my heart.
Even when I leaned on him or entrusted him with things, I always kept a line
drawn, never crossing it as the reliable senior he idealized. That’s why
Tanukichi was never truly satisfied with my approval."
204
"Why’d you do something so half-hearted?"

Ayame closed her mouth again. Unlike her earlier silence, this time her lips
were tightly sealed, as if she had decided not to speak no matter what. So
Nadeshiko spoke in a low, threatening voice.

"You got scared, didn’t you?"

"Huh?"

"Scared that if Tanukichi regained his confidence and started seeing things
clearly, he’d stop blindly idolizing you and realize your true nature, and then
he’d leave you. That’s why you held back, right?"

"W-why would you...!?"

Ayame’s eyes widened, and for the first time in a while, she looked directly at
Nadeshiko.

"How could I not know? How many years do you think I’ve been looking after
you? But I won’t let you keep your mouth shut. Spit it all out. There’s no need
to be embarrassed around me. You’re the same Ayame who came crying to
me with a pale face when you got your first period, even though you’re always
so talkative."

"Stop it! You’re the one who told me to learn some decency!"

"No one’s listening anyway, and we’re both girls. This is fine. Just spit it out
already."

"Ugh..."

As Nadeshiko ruffled her head, Ayame shrunk even further.

205
Still in Nadeshiko’s headlock, Ayame awkwardly moved her lips.

"...That’s right. I was scared that if Tanukichi stopped idealizing me, he’d
realize my true nature. My essence, so similar to the Decency Squad... my
arrogant self that believes my own thoughts are the only right ones."

"After all that grand speech about how ‘being wrong is what makes us
charming’ and ‘we must not be right,’ huh?"

"That’s why! Back then, I was the one who first declared that I wanted to be
the one making dirty jokes! ...Anyway, that’s just the kind of person I am. If I
weren’t like that, I wouldn’t be able to keep doing terrorism while being
constantly denied by those around me. I have to believe I’m right to maintain
myself... I’m not the strong person Tanukichi and the others think I am."

With a splash, Ayame sank deeper into the bath, as if trying to hide herself.

"If Tanukichi realized that, I was afraid he’d reject me, just like everyone else
who couldn’t accept that I love dirty jokes. Tanukichi accepted me for loving
dirty jokes, but what if he realized my other true nature and gave up on me...
That’s what I was so scared of. That’s why, during the ‘Gathered Fabric’
incident, I couldn’t truly entrust things to Tanukichi. And in the fourth round, I
was so scared of when the grown-up Tanukichi would realize the truth about
me that I ended up putting on a front."

"...So my training had the opposite effect, huh?"

Nadeshiko shrugged, sulking. Ayame hurriedly corrected her.

"N-no, that’s not it! You worked so hard despite being busy, and Tanukichi
really was just one step away. He even did well in the third round with
Tsukimigusa Oboro’s help."

206
"That’s right. I wasn’t wrong. You’re just dragging your feet."

Nadeshiko immediately flipped her stance.

"...Ugh. It’s not like I did nothing, you know."

"You? Hah, I don’t see any evidence of that."

"...Tanukichi."

Still submerged in the bath, facing away from Nadeshiko, Ayame spoke
haltingly.

"Tanukichi has always been like this, even when he admired Anna. He tends to
confuse admiration with... well, romantic feelings for women."

"Yeah. And?"

Nadeshiko urged Ayame on with impatient interjections as she stumbled over

her words.

"Ugh... So... I hoped for a girl who could appeal to Tanukichi in a healthy way.
If Tanukichi’s feelings drifted away from me beforehand, I could convince
myself that if he left me, it wasn’t because he realized my ugly true nature.
Then I could properly praise him and help him regain his confidence. That’s
why I had high hopes for that girl... But according to Tanukichi, she’s on
Keisuke’s side, and before I knew it, things ended up like this..."

Tch. That relieved look on your face. What kind of nonsense are you spouting
at this point?

Nadeshiko deliberately mixed irritation into her words as she lashed out at
Ayame.

207
"So, in other words, you did nothing, huh?"

"Ugh... But..."

Ayame sank even deeper into the bath, up to her forehead.

Bubbles floated to the surface. After about ten seconds,

"Pwah! Well, if it’s come to this, I’ll just have to take responsibility! Like a man
who got his girlfriend pregnant, I’ll just have to take responsibility!"

Ayame’s mood suddenly lifted as she emerged from the water with a defiant
smile.

"Front first, front first."

"I’ll handle the fifth round tomorrow with my own strength... It seems like both
Tanukichi and Kosuri still rely on me, after all! No matter how things turn out,
I’ll make sure not to cause any trouble for Akekado Hot Springs. Is that okay
with you, Nadeshiko?"

"Sure, do as you please. I’ve already decided to be lenient with you as long as
you don’t destroy this hot spring town."

"You’ll use violence to stop dirty jokes, though."

"That’s just because I don’t find them funny."

"Right... By the way, there’s no way I can let Tanukichi and the others hear this
kind of behind-the-scenes talk. It’s too embarrassing. Nadeshiko, you
absolutely must not tell them. Once we’re out of the bath, I’m ‘Blue Snow’
again."

208
Ayame put a finger to her lips, then headed to the changing room, saying,
"Well, I’d better get out soon, or Anna will get suspicious."

Left behind, Nadeshiko placed the towel she had left on the edge of the bath
on her forehead and looked up at the night sky.

"...Idiot. You’re my daughter, Kajou Ayame."

After a while, she sighed, "What a pain," and slowly got out of the bath.

Her destination wasn’t the changing room but a hidden path leading to a
shrine, concealed by a threshold. Lifting it, she found,

"Ah, Ayame-sama’s chest, thighs, butt... Ugh!"

Kosuri, dressed in a yukata, was spraying nosebleeds.

"Ahhh, this is troublesome. Peeping is something only the lowest of humans

do. And they even overheard the conversation, even though I didn’t intend for
that."

Nadeshiko shrugged exaggeratedly and grabbed Kosuri.

"What are you talking about? You’re the one who ordered me to wait here."

As Kosuri flailed, holding her nose and protesting, Nadeshiko casually replied,
"I don’t know anything about that," then leaned in close to Kosuri’s ear.

"But you know, I’ve known for a while that you’ve been sneaking around with
that fast little girl."

"Wha—!?"

209
Suddenly whispered the truth, Kosuri stopped resisting and stared at
Nadeshiko in shock.

"After hearing Ayame’s story just now, you should know who to manipulate
and how for the sake of your beloved Ayame-sama, right?"

Nadeshiko took her time explaining before setting Kosuri down.

"...If it’s for Ayame-sama’s sake."

Kosuri ran off toward the changing room, muttering.

As she watched Kosuri go, Nadeshiko muttered,

"Everyone’s just wandering around in confusion. Well, if this doesn’t work, I’ll
just make them all my employees."

Scratching her head, she left the hot spring.

"...What do you want, Kosuri?"

Immediately after being released by Nadeshiko, Kosuri, though hesitant, had

called Yutori to a room in Kiyomonsou Inn. It was a storage room, and at this
hour, no one was around.

"Thanks for coming. Even though you were calling me a traitor just the other
day."

"You’re as sarcastic and shameless as ever. You’re the one who had Keisuke
call me here."

210
A few minutes earlier, Kosuri had called Keisuke on PM.

She hadn’t been able to get through before, but it seemed he had turned off
his voicemail right after the fourth round ended, so he picked up after one ring.

He must have been expecting Kosuri to abandon SOX after the fourth round.
Kosuri, desperately holding back her trembling knees at the sound of her
father’s creepy, cat-like voice, said,

‘SOX is done for. I want to crush them from the inside out. I need one more
pawn. Can you help me, Papa?’

She lured Keisuke with heart-filled words.

Kosuri felt like her acting skills and patience had leveled up twice, at the cost
of her lifespan.

"So, what do you want?"

Yutori, looking more haggard than during the first round, urged Kosuri on as if
to say, "Get on with it."

"Well..."

The smooth lies that usually came so easily got stuck in her throat.

Kosuri hesitated.

Would this really be for Ayame-sama’s sake? Even though she said those
things, did Ayame-sama truly want this?

And Yutori’s exhausted face.

211
She must have taken quite a hit after learning that Tanukichi was a member of
SOX.

No matter how foolish or ridiculous it was, Kosuri understood better than

anyone how much Yutori had struggled. To use that as part of a scheme... But
still.

This isn’t wrong. If I do nothing, everything will fall apart, and if this plan
succeeds, I can sever the strange relationship between Ayame-sama and
Tanukichi. I can become Ayame-sama’s number one.

Besides, if Yutori gets Tanukichi, she’ll be satisfied no matter how it happens.

Love is just an illusion, something that can be manipulated with technique and
conviction.

Swallowing the hesitation that had sprouted for the first time at the thought of
using someone, Kosuri began to speak.

"You found out about Tanukichi’s true identity, huh?"

"...Did Tanukichi tell you?"

"I didn’t need him to. I could tell just by watching him after the third round.
Well, your name came up during the strategy meeting for dealing with the
monster student council president, so that confirmed it."

"So, what? You want to use me, who’s in love with Tanukichi, to gain an
advantage in the fifth round?"

Yutori continued, slipping through the gap in Kosuri’s breathing as she

struggled to speak.

212
"It’s pointless. Even if I do something from the inside, there’s no way to deal
with the idiots like the ‘Love Machine.’ Especially in the fifth round, an insider
like me won’t be any help. We’ve already lost. Just give up and find a position
where you can reap the benefits."

As if to say that was the smarter choice, Yutori looked down at Kosuri with
empty eyes.

Kosuri took advantage of her response.

"Ahh, to think I’d reach the same conclusion as Yutori... Kosuri is humiliated.
Kosuri also thinks SOX has no chance of winning."

"...?"

Kosuri’s unexpected response momentarily weakened Yutori’s aggressive

stance.

"That’s why I want to at least make things a little better. So, Yutori, I want you
to declare war on ‘Blue Snow’ and take Tanukichi for yourself now."

"...Huh!? What!? Why!? How!? What are you talking about!?"

Ah, it’s been a while since I’ve seen such a dumbfounded reaction, Kosuri
thought with a mix of amusement and exasperation as she explained to
Yutori, whose face was flushed red.

"Kosuri loves ‘Blue Snow’-sama. So much that I ran away from home to join
SOX. But Tanukichi is always by her side, and it’s annoying. That’s why I
approached you and pushed Tanukichi in the first place—to take that position
for myself."

"...You’re really the worst, always going beyond my expectations in the worst
way."

213
"Thanks. But compared to ‘Blue Snow’-sama, Kosuri’s scheming is nothing."

"Is there anyone more scheming than you?"

"Of course! ‘Blue Snow’-sama is using Tanukichi’s feelings for her to make him
a convenient tool for terrorism. Tanukichi’s being deceived."

"Wha...!?"

"Even if SOX loses and can’t carry out any more terrorism, Tanukichi will
probably stay by ‘Blue Snow’-sama’s side out of habit. And in the process, it’s
only a matter of time before that monster student council president devours
him."

"..."

Yutori’s expression hardened, likely recalling how terrifying Anna was.

"Tanukichi wouldn’t want to be devoured by the monster president. That’s an

ending where no one is happy, right? So I want you to take Tanukichi for
yourself now and transfer him out of Tokioka Academy. It’s fine. ‘Blue Snow’-
sama probably thinks Tanukichi will just be a bother if we lose anyway, so
she’ll hand him over without a fuss. Then you can heal Tanukichi’s wounded
heart with your body, and it’s a done deal."

"B-but that’s impossible... Someone like me, a dirty, selfish woman, has no
right to do anything about Tanukichi... And Tanukichi doesn’t admire someone
like me, he admires ‘Blue Snow’..."

Yutori took a step back, trembling.

214
So something did happen when she found out about Tanukichi’s true identity.
She was already insecure, but it’s gotten even worse with Tanukichi. Is that
why she looks so sad? Kosuri thought as she delivered her prepared lines.

"Tanukichi’s admiration changes all the time. And you know what they say—
you don’t need qualifications to fall in love with someone."

Well, there are a lot of conditions to actually become lovers, though. Whoever
came up with that ‘no qualifications’ line must’ve been a real jerk, Kosuri
thought, sticking her tongue out internally.

"And if everything goes according to Kosuri’s plan, ‘Blue Snow’-sama will be

free of her burden, Kosuri will take her place, Tanukichi will escape the
monster’s clutches and be happy with you, and you’ll obviously be happy too.
See? With just a little compromise, everyone wins. It’s a quadruple win!"

"But that feels like justifying my selfishness, and I hate that..."

Yutori kept repeating the word "selfishness," which Kosuri noted.

"It’s fine, isn’t it? If your selfishness can save someone you love, that’s a
wonderful thing. Turning a negative into a positive! What’s there to be afraid
of?"

"..."

Yutori’s eyes widened.

"...Is it really okay? Even if I’m just a pile of selfishness?"

"Of course!"

Kosuri asserted firmly, giving it her all.

215
"So just go and clash with that scheming rival of yours and take Tanukichi for
yourself! Tanukichi’s on the terrorist side, so there’s no reason for you to hold
back anymore!"

"R-really?"

"Really!"

"...Okay, okay. Even if I’m just a pile of selfishness, it’s fine. Okay, yeah, I get it.
Yeah, but... first of all, would Tanukichi even be swayed by someone like
me...?"

"What are you saying now!? A stranger close by is better than a relative far
away. Men will always go for a woman who’s like an open church rather than
some unattainable flower."

"R-really... an open church... Okay, I’ll go and clash with ‘Blue Snow’ right now!"

"That’s the spirit!"

Wow, she’s so gullible it’s worrying... Does she even have a brain...?

Kosuri sighed internally as she gave Yutori a light push.

"Then Kosuri will set up a place for you to talk with ‘Blue Snow’-sama."

"Thanks, Kosuri!"

As she watched Yutori suddenly regain her energy and leave, Kosuri quickly
composed a concise message to Nadeshiko.

"...Now it’s up to fate..."

216
Was this really the right thing to do?

As she agonized over it, Kosuri pressed the send button on the PM message
projected in the air.

Several dozen minutes after informing Nadeshiko that the persuasion was
complete.

Kosuri was hiding in the closet of the annex’s spacious hall, where the four
major lewd joke terrorist organizations led by Keisuke and SOX had faced off
for the first time.

Moonlight streamed into the quiet, serene hall. By the window, Kajou Ayame—
"Blue Snow"—wearing panties on her head, gazed listlessly at the moon.

Nadeshiko had called Ayame and Yutori to this hall as members of the lewd
joke terrorist organizations.

At this late hour, no one would come near the annex’s hall unless there was a
large banquet, and unlike the storage room, this place was set up as a stage.

A stage for a woman to pick a fight with another woman.

"Maybe I should stop this..."

Even though she had said all that to Yutori, Kosuri had no proof that Tanukichi
would be swayed by Yutori, and more importantly, she didn’t know if Ayame
truly wanted Tanukichi to leave.

Kosuri’s thoughts went in circles.

And mixed in was her illogical feelings toward Yutori.

217
This only further confused Kosuri, fueling her anxiety that she should stop
this.

"...Ah, if only Yutori had arrived first, I could’ve adjusted things right away..."

Unfortunately, "Blue Snow" had arrived first. Even if she tried to send a
message, activating the PM might alert Ayame with its light.

"Well, Yutori’s the type to stumble over her words at first. If she just charges in
and ruins the mood..."

That might buy some time.

At the very least, she could correct the blatant lies about Ayame and
Tanukichi’s relationship.

Just as Kosuri was making her calculations—

Spaaan!

"I love Tanukichi!"

Kosuri, peeking out from the closet, couldn’t believe her eyes and ears.

Yutori had burst into the hall with such momentum and made the most
straightforward confession imaginable.

Why does she have to act so manly at a time like this!?

What is this!? What is this!? Kosuri was in complete panic.

218
Ah! Now that I think about it, that flat-chested girl was always pretty bold when
Tanukichi wasn’t around... And when Tanukichi’s involved, her recklessness
blends perfectly...? Ugh, what is she even doing in this situation!? This is why
Yutori’s the worst! This is why Yutori’s the worst!

"‘Blue Snow’! What do you think of Tanukichi!?"

In the dim light, Kosuri couldn’t see their expressions.

But there was no doubt that "Blue Snow" was wide-eyed and open-mouthed as
Yutori boldly approached her.

The distance between them was practically zero, and Yutori’s finger was
pointed right at "Blue Snow’s" nose as she sat on the windowsill.

"...Huh. So you’re serious, Tanukichi’s classmate."

"Blue Snow" stepped down from the windowsill and faced Yutori head-on.

Yutori, here as the co-representative of "Absolute Hemlines" and "The

Mammals," didn’t falter even when her identity was pointed out, and fired back
with a response.

"And you’re the vice president who was at the exhibition hall that time, right?"

"Hmm? I’ll leave that to your imagination. Oh, I haven’t greeted you yet, have I?
Good evening, vagina. Nice to meet you, cunnilingus. The moon is beautiful
tonight, isn’t it? Let’s roll over and sixty-nine." (sixty-nine is the name of a sexual act)

"Tch, what a greeting...! You’re messing with me."

Yutori growled in response to "Blue Snow’s" lewd joke, which doubled as a

threatening greeting.

219
"So, what was it you wanted to know? What I think of Tanukichi?"

"Yeah, that’s right. I’ve made my stance clear... Depending on your answer, I
might just take Tanukichi as a member of ‘The Mammals’ right now!"

What the hell!? Why are you jumping to that conclusion so fast!?

If Tanukichi resists, it’ll be a huge pain, so you should take it slow, like boiling
a frog! That’s the best approach!

Kosuri screamed advice in her head, but the battle unfolding in the dim light
showed no signs of stopping.

"Come on, don’t stay silent! Tell me clearly! What do you think of Tanukichi!?"

"He’s been a nuisance, always fawning over me."

The coldness of that response froze both Yutori and Kosuri in place.

"...Huh?"

After a moment, Yutori let out a breath laced with murderous intent.

"Well, he was useful for terrorism, so I kept him around. But if we lose
tomorrow, I won’t need him anymore. If you want to be his new ‘stress
reliever,’ be my guest... Oh, and even if we win, I’ll hand him over to you. As
long as I have the erotic books from Yatsuga Forest, I can still carry out
terrorism."

"You... you trashy woman! Now I completely understand why Kosuri admires
you...!"

That’s harsh. What does she even think of Kosuri?

220
While complaining internally, Yutori focused on "Blue Snow’s" words and
actions. After provoking Yutori so much, her goal was clearly...

"Ah, but one thing to keep in mind."

"Blue Snow" spoke in a carefree tone, despite Yutori’s open hostility.

"Tanukichi is head over heels for me, so even if I act cold, I’m not sure he’ll
sway toward you... There’s still a little over a week of summer vacation left
after the match ends, so you’ll have some time in this hot spring town. Just
make sure you don’t run out of time, okay? I’m rooting for you."

"Fine by me...!"

Yutori swallowed her words, as if she might resort to violence if she kept
talking, then turned on her heel and left the hall.

After witnessing the entire exchange, Kosuri felt relieved. "Good, there was no
need to hesitate after all."

"After all, Ayame-sama really does want Tanukichi to leave!"

The fact that she had to use Yutori still bothered her, but if she worked behind
the scenes to make sure Yutori and Tanukichi ended up together, everything
would turn out fine.

Kosuri grinned to herself, curling up in the closet to make sure no sound

escaped.

But then—

Thud. Something light fell onto the tatami in the hall.

What’s that? Kosuri peeked out again. There, she saw—

221
"...This is for the best. This is for the best..."

Ayame, having taken off the panties she had been wearing on her head, sat
down on the floor.

"This way, I can truly entrust things to Tanukichi. I can trust him. So tomorrow
will be fine. We’ll definitely, definitely win... Yes, this is for the best. After all,
the feelings Tanukichi has for me were wrong from the start. If we lose
tomorrow, I’ll be forced into a stifling world, slowly dying inside... And
eventually, Tanukichi would have put an end to his misguided feelings for me
anyway..."

Kosuri’s soaring emotions were crushed in an instant.

"...What is this? Then what was Kosuri supposed to do...?"

Kosuri gritted her teeth like a petulant child.

She felt like bashing her head against the wall, but afraid of being discovered
by Ayame, she could only sit in the closet and battle her self-loathing.

"Ah, damn it..."

I was soaking in the hot spring at my hideout, absentmindedly watching the

steam rise.

Unlike the one at Kiyomonsou, this was a regular open-air men’s bath.

Even though the water wasn’t too hot, I’d been here for hours, and my whole
body was starting to prune like a shriveled dick. But I couldn’t bring myself to
get out.
222
What I had done in the fourth round... no, what I had been doing to Kajou-
senpai all this time kept coming back to me, and I couldn’t calm down.

In this empty open-air bath at this late hour, I couldn’t stop blaming myself.

Through the "Gathered Fabric" incident, I had started to find my direction,

gained confidence with the "Dick Baton," and decided to support Kajou-senpai
alongside Kosuri... Maybe this was my place. It wasn’t a particularly cool
position, but maybe this was what Kajou-senpai had called the "real
Tanukichi." I had started to believe that.

I had felt so sure of myself.

But it was all just a misunderstanding on my part.

Just like during the "Gathered Fabric" incident, I had charged ahead on my
own, and look where that got me.

It was like regretful masturbation. I couldn’t bear to look.

In the end, I was just a pathetic man who idolized Kajou-senpai and relied on
her.

"What am I supposed to do tomorrow...?"

Losing the fourth round meant losing the fifth round.

What face could I even show Kajou-senpai? Was it even okay for someone like
me to be in tomorrow’s match?

As I muttered these thoughts, something happened.

223
"Hey! Any dumb kids in here!?"

"GYAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!?"

The door to the indoor bath opened, and in came... a Namahage!? (Namahage are
men who wear masks and pretend to be demonlike beings)

No, it was the cheeky brat, Onigashira Kosuri. Wait, that’s not right.

"Why are you in the men’s bath!? You’ll get arrested!? No, get arrested!"

"Namahage are bathhouse monsters!"

"Liar! Seriously, what’s wrong with you, Kosuri!? You’re drenched in sweat."

I observed Kosuri while sinking into the cloudy water.

She was breathing heavily, more erratic than usual, and her actions were
completely nonsensical. What the hell happened!?

"Just listen to what Kosuri has to say!"

With that, Kosuri, still fully clothed, plunged into the bath and pinched my
cheeks with both hands.

What the hell is wrong with her!? Did she get infected with something weird
after being turned into Anna-senpai’s living doll!? Through mucus!? Through
bodily fluids!?

...While I was thinking these absurd thoughts, Kosuri’s round eyes, filled with a
seriousness I’d never seen before, glared at me.

"We’re definitely winning tomorrow!"

224
Her words, delivered with a slap, were completely out of character and utterly
serious.

The impact felt like a slap to the face.

"...I know that much."

"Do you, though?"

Kosuri snorted dismissively, then suddenly looked around in confusion.

"Ah, uh... Is this the men’s bath?"

"You realized that just now!?"

"Ah, haha, oops... If that old hag finds out about this commotion..."

Kosuri suddenly came to her senses, her face turning pale, and she climbed
out of the open-air bath, still soaking wet. Did something happen to her...?

"But, well..."

She came at just the right time to give me a wake-up call.

That’s right. I already know what I need to do.

Tomorrow, I’ll win this ridiculous match. To do that, I’ll come up with the best
lewd jokes I can.

Even if losing the fourth round meant the fifth round was already decided.

225
That’s the only thing I can do right now. I have no concrete plan. But.

"I won’t act pathetic anymore! I’ll definitely win!"

With renewed determination, I got out of the bath.

"Nooo! This is a misunderstanding! Please, just don’t tell the Decency Squad!
Just not them!"

...Well, since one person’s in trouble, I might as well help while I’m at it.

Not like there’s any other way to save a middle school girl who barged into the
men’s bath besides name-dropping Nadeshiko-san, who she’s so scared of.

------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 8: The Allure of the Upper Body, The Allure of the Lower Body

"Alright, today we’re going all out like a horny male rabbit!"

The next day, just as the sun had fully set. At the hidden shrine’s riverside,
illuminated by the light of the lanterns.

Once again, we, SOX, were facing off against the four major lewd joke terrorist
organizations led by Keisuke.

"Unlike the previous battles, today is Hot Springs Ping Pong: East vs. West,
Past vs. Present! We’re going full throttle with our lower bodies too! Make sure
to stretch thoroughly! Can you feel the stretch power building up here?"

Kajou-senpai laughed boldly while placing her hand on her crotch.

"Uh, Blue Snow-sama... you seem unusually energetic today...?"

226
Kosuri, who had been turned into Anna-senpai’s love doll all day as
punishment for causing a scandalous incident at the inn where I was hiding
last night, spoke to Kajou-senpai with a dead expression.

I secretly eavesdropped on Kajou-senpai’s response to Kosuri’s question.

I was also curious about how well Kajou-senpai had recovered.

"Are you worried about what happened here at the riverside yesterday? Fufufu,
don’t worry. Even the most perverted of perverts will wilt after firing their shot
once, right!? That’s just how it is! Even if I exhaust all my energy at once, I’ll
recover after a certain amount of time! Mental stamina!"

Kajou-senpai puffed out her chest proudly.

Her strength, the power that led everyone forward, wasn’t just empty bravado.

It was the same Kajou-senpai as always. But I already knew.

That dazzlingly strong figure was only a part of Kajou-senpai, not the whole.

"Are you really, really sure about that?"

Kosuri pressed Kajou-senpai further. What’s with her? She’s usually so eager
to follow Kajou-senpai’s every word, even if it meant turning her own crotch
into a mess.

"It’s true! What, are you doubting me? The one who mistook a ‘debuting idol’
for a ‘creampied idol,’ who mistook straw sandal straps for simple SM
devices, who mistook divine power for expertise!?"

"Stop it already! You’re just wasting PM neutralization time with your

nonsense!"
227
I tried to calm down Kajou-senpai, who was getting heated. Then,

'Well then, it looks like today will settle things. Are you ready?'

"My mind and body are soaked and ready to go!"

Keisuke, lounging at the hidden shrine, declared the start of the fifth round,
and Kajou-senpai responded with a bite.

'The fifth round is Hot Springs Ping Pong: East vs. West, Past vs. Present. As
the name suggests, it’s a simple game where you answer questions with one
word each while playing ping pong.'

Simple. Which means raw skill will determine the outcome. In some cases,
insider knowledge will too.

'But the rules are a bit complicated. It’s a special doubles match passed down
through Akekado Hot Springs~. Well, who knows how true that is. Now,
everyone, look over there.'

Keisuke pointed, and the area he indicated opened up.

In no time at all, Keisuke’s subordinates had laid out tatami mats wider than
usual. Boards were nailed down, and a ping pong table was set up.

The hidden shrine was surrounded by cliffs and mountain faces, so there was
no wind. It was a decent environment for outdoor ping pong. But then, I
couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw the color of the ping pong table.

The surface of the table was divided horizontally by the net and vertically by
lines, creating four areas in total.

228
The four areas were painted black and white, like the initial setup of an Othello
board.

I had been briefed by Nadeshiko-san beforehand, but this was really

complicated.

'Did you notice? This ping pong game is a doubles match where the partners
are diagonal, not side by side. It’s hard to explain in words, so let’s try it out as
practice.'

Kajou-senpai and I went to the black court, while Zukobako Takagi and Pyupyu
Kojima from the opposing side went to the white court, each holding paddles.

I was to the left of Zukobako Takagi, directly across from Pyupyu Kojima, and
diagonally to my left front was Kajou-senpai. It was a confusing court with
allies and enemies mixed together.

'Well, once you get used to it, it’s easier than regular doubles~. Now, let’s try a
practice question. Referee?'

"Hmm? Ah, how about... something you stick into a woman’s hole?"

Saotome-senpai tossed out a question with little interest. Her interest quickly
shifted to Love Machine sitting next to her, her eyes sparkling as she asked,
"What kind of situation will you teach me next!?" ...It seemed Saotome-senpai
had fully leaned toward their side since yesterday.

Even if we won this match, there was no guarantee we could win Saotome-
senpai back... but that wasn’t what mattered to me right now.

For the sake of Kajou-senpai, who was looking at Saotome-senpai with

concern, we had to win this match. Saotome-senpai’s situation could be dealt
with afterward.

229
'Okay, Blue Snow will serve first~. The question is "something you stick into a
woman’s hole"☆'

"Alright, here we go. Get ready, Onakin Fortieth Day Sentimental Full-Body
Genital Bomber!"

Prompted by Keisuke, Kajou-senpai tossed the orange ping pong ball into the
air.

"Cucumber!"

With a word fitting the question, Kajou-senpai gently served the ball to me.

"...Bitter melon!"

I sharply smashed the ball, which had a high arc, toward Pyupyu Kojima
directly across from me.

"Ballpoint pen!"

Pyupyu Kojima stepped back and returned the ball with a soft touch to
Zukobako Takagi to my left.

"...Brush!"

Zukobako Takagi then smashed the ball hard toward Kajou-senpai, just like I
had done earlier.

"Eggplant!"

The ball, having made a full circle, returned to Kajou-senpai. She returned it to
me with a soft touch, just like Pyupyu Kojima had done.

230
"...Daikon radish!"

My smash slipped past Pyupyu Kojima and flew toward the gallery. In a real
match, that would be a point for us.

This was the kind of game it was. While it was ping pong, the focus was on
answering the lewd questions. Each player had a set position and role, so
there was no confusion from moving around like in regular doubles. We had to
focus on answering the questions while keeping the ball in play.

'Okay, we’ll keep the same question. Pyupyu Kojima will serve next.'

While each player’s position was fixed, the serve rotated clockwise each time.
The ball’s path remained the same.

"Finger!"

Pyupyu Kojima sent a slow, arcing ball to Zukobako Takagi.

"...Matchstick!"

Zukobako Takagi, as usual, smashed the ball sharply toward Kajou-senpai...

Wait, matchstick?

"Syringe!"

Kajou-senpai returned the ball, looking just as confused as I was. When I tried
to return it with "Eel!", I fumbled due to the awkward angle.

'The matchstick answer needs review.'

Saotome-senpai lazily raised her head and looked around.

231
From the crowd formed by the four major lewd joke terrorist organizations,
voices rose: "Matchstick...?" "That doesn’t make sense." "Maybe it’s to tease?"
"Could it be about lighting a fire?"

'Hmm. That’s out.'

"Wha—!? Come on, matchstick is fine! It’s about putting out the fire with
moisture!"

Zukobako Takagi was furious that his slightly dangerous fetish wasn’t
recognized.

Well, in regular ping pong, the other side would have scored, but since the rally
ended with a review and the answer was rejected, we got the point.

'Well then, I think everyone’s got a handle on the rules, so let’s decide the first
players.'

What do you mean, "first players"? Sneaky.

Keisuke had taken the time to explain the rules in detail to ensure that the core
members of the four major lewd joke terrorist organizations, numbering nearly
400, fully understood them.

So that anyone could be substituted at any time.

In contrast, SOX only had Kajou-senpai and me as eligible players, and the only
thing we needed to discuss was our offensive and defensive positions.

"Like in the practice just now, I’ll take defense. How does that sound?"

Kajou-senpai tentatively asked for my opinion.

"Yes, that should be fine."

232
"Huh? I thought for sure you’d leave the offense to me."

Kajou-senpai blinked in surprise.

Well, the me from yesterday might have thought that. While the defensive role
softly receives smashes from the enemy, the offensive role smashes the ball
into the opponent’s court, making it the star of the match. To show Saotome-
senpai the appeal of SOX, it would make sense to place Kajou-senpai in that
role.

But my thinking now was different. I felt it was wrong to force Kajou-senpai
into the spotlight. I didn’t have a concrete reason, but I just thought that
winning should be our top priority.

To that end, placing Kajou-senpai in defense was the best strategy.

Kajou-senpai was a perverted elite who could come up with answers to dirty
questions reflexively. She could handle returning powerful shots while
answering questions.

On the other hand, I wouldn’t be able to come up with answers quickly, but as
a guy, I had the strength. I was better suited for the role of smashing the balls
Kajou-senpai gently sent over.

Understanding each other’s strengths, we aimed for a sure victory. This time,
we would work together.

"As expected of Tanukichi. You instinctively understand that girls should

defend and boys should attack. Yokai Shortcake is a natural humiliation
demon."

"Stop saying things that make me sound bad!"

233
I’m trying to seriously win here!

"Well, anyway. I’m counting on you."

"...Yes!"

Kajou-senpai smiled and patted my shoulder before walking to the other side
of the ping pong table.

We’ll do it. We’ll win this match, no matter what!

'Okay, everyone, look here. Our players are decided too.'

And the one who took the defensive position on Kajou-senpai’s side, meaning
the defending role, was...

"Hohoho. I won’t hold back."

The Abstinent Demon, who had reportedly regained his stamina over the past
few days by feasting on soft-shelled turtles and other delicacies courtesy of
Keisuke. He had developed the mental fortitude to resist the allure of
Saotome-senpai’s erotic illustrations while simultaneously watching other
members enjoy them with envy, fueling his imagination.

According to Nadeshiko-san’s intel, he had powered up since the last match,

but that wouldn’t have much impact on this match. It was more of a battle of
knowledge.

The real problem was his partner. The one who came to my side as the
offensive player.

"..."

234
With an aura that could only be described as murderous, Yutori Nuregoromo,
the co-representative of Absolute Hemlines and The Mammals, took her
position.

She didn’t even glance at me, just stared straight ahead at Kajou-senpai. And
then,

"Prepare yourself, Blue Snow...!"

She muttered with clear disdain and raised her paddle toward Kajou-senpai.
Wait, what? Did something happen?

I thought about asking what was going on before the match started, but the
murderous aura between Kajou-senpai and Yutori was anything but normal.
Just a glance at Yutori made her neck turn bright red, so I decided not to do
anything that might make me the target of that murderous intent.

Well, you know, sometimes leaving things alone is important, like my dad
always says.

'Okay, it’s an 11-point match, best of three sets. Hot Springs Ping Pong: East
vs. West, Past vs. Present, begins!'

And so, the final battle commenced.

'The question is... hmm... methods to enlarge the chest, how about that?'

From somewhere in the distance, I heard a snicker, and the murderous aura
from Yutori next to me intensified. What’s with that? Stop it.

Kajou-senpai served. The orange ping pong ball flew into the air.

"Knead!"

235
"...Lick!"

Influenced by Kajou-senpai, my answer also took a slightly lewd turn.

"Bite!"

Despite aiming for the very edge of the table, the Abstinent Demon effortlessly
flipped his body and returned the ball to Yutori with a soft touch, along with a
rather lowbrow answer. Damn, soft-shelled turtles really are something!

"...Huh?"

At that moment, I suddenly felt like Yutori had disappeared and looked to my
side.

"What!?"

Yutori had indeed vanished. She was several meters back, in a crouching start
position.

The Abstinent Demon had hit the ball high into the air, and it was slowly
descending.

"Shh!"

Yutori accelerated in an instant. She dashed past the side of the ping pong
table.

"...Poke!"

She smashed the ball with such force it seemed like it might burst.

"Ugh! Pinch!"

236
Kajou-senpai barely managed to return the ball, but it still had most of its
momentum.

"Ugh, suck!"

I also managed to return it to the Abstinent Demon, but it was practically a

service shot for him.

"Milk!"

As expected, Yutori landed a powerful shot on Kajou-senpai before we could

regain our rhythm, scoring the first point. ...Wait, milk!?

"Hey, referee! Why is milk okay!?"

The liquid, which is apparently secreted from cow udders and is both erotic in
its production and color, didn’t seem to fit the question.

'Why, you ask? Well, everyone except The Bacon Lettuce Mothers' Association
seems to agree.'

Looking around, it was true that only the members of The Bacon Lettuce
Mothers' Association were muttering with dead eyes, "Drinking that to grow
bigger is like thinking you can fly by eating birds... what kind of child -like logic
is that?" Otherwise, no one seemed particularly dissatisfied. In fact, the
atmosphere was more like they were condemning me for my poor taste.

'Ah. Back in the day, milk was promoted as a food to enlarge the chest.'

What... the hell...!? So the reason milk has been served in school lunches every
day since forever is a nationwide case of sexual harassment... no, the words
"nippon" and "oppai" sound similar, so in a way, it’s a natural national policy.

237
Wait, no, no, no! That’s not what’s important right now!

"The difference in knowledge is becoming painfully clear."

In this situation, the ideal would be to win through pure ping pong before we
run out of answers. But as we just saw, Yutori is somehow going all out like
she’s about to kill someone, and the enemy has an endless supply of
personnel in reserve.

It’s a simple arithmetic problem. Both physically and in terms of knowledge,

there’s no clear path to victory.

'The next question is... hmm...'

But,

'Tools used for ‘offense’, how about that?'

We can’t give up.

To reject this stifling world, to not let these annoying people have their way.

To stand proudly in front of Kajou-senpai, who I’ve been imposing my ideals

on and relying on all this time.

"Handcuffs!"

The Abstinent Demon served, and Yutori immediately smashed the slow ball
with "...Rope!"

"Ugh, candle!"

238
It’s the same pattern as before. Kajou-senpai couldn’t fully kill the ball’s
momentum, and I could only barely return it with "Syringe!"

"Blindfold!"

"...Clothespin!"

And before we could regain our rhythm, Yutori’s powerful shot landed, and we
lost the point.

Come on, at this rate, we won’t even be able to put up a fight in the ping pong
itself...

Damn. And it’s my serve next... There’s a limit to how powerful a serve can be.
The order is such that Yutori’s powerful shots will land before we can deliver a
decisive blow.

'Hmm, what should the next question be...'

There’s almost no clear path to victory, no chance to win.

But Kajou-senpai and I continued to fight desperately, clinging to the faintest

possibility.

"Haah, haah, haah..."

'Well, it’s already match point~'

The scoreboard projected on the cliff across the Akekado River showed 10 to
6. We, SOX, were the six.

We had managed to hang on, but both Kajou-senpai and I were thoroughly
exhausted.

239
Every one of Yutori’s shots was heavy, with no let-up, and regaining our rhythm
after each one took a lot of effort. Muscles I didn’t usually use were screaming
in pain.

Normally, a single set of ping pong shouldn’t drain this much stamina, but this
game, where we had to think of answers while chasing a small ball without
getting in each other’s way, was a different beast. It sapped both physical and
mental energy, putting an unexpected strain on our legs.

And the Abstinent Demon was also quite a nuisance. While the knowledge gap
I had feared wasn’t as noticeable, his skill at neutralizing the power of my
shots fully amplified Yutori’s ferocity. Did these guys secretly practice ping
pong or something? Meanwhile, we were too busy preparing for Anna-senpai
to get any proper practice.

And while Yutori’s impact had overshadowed it, the "Abstinent Demon" was
also a real pain. The difference in knowledge I had feared wasn’t as
noticeable, but their technique of completely neutralizing the momentum of
my shots amplified Yutori’s ferocity. I almost wanted to accuse them of
secretly practicing ping pong behind our backs. Meanwhile, we couldn’t even
practice properly because we were too busy preparing countermeasures for
Anna-senpai.

But there was no time to complain. They were exhausted too—whether it was
because of the "Abstinent Demon’s" age or Yutori going all out with every
strike. Somehow, I had to hold on to this one point and turn things around...

‘Now, we have an announcement for a player substitution!’

"...Huh?"

I couldn’t help but let out a sound. I had been so focused on the opponent in
front of me.

240
‘Both of you, step back~. From here on out, we’ll leave it to Biku-Biku Tanaka
and Bero-Bero Yamada~.’

Biku-Biku Tanaka took the defensive position in front of me, while Bero-Bero
Yamada stood next to me as the attacker.

Hey, what kind of ridiculous timing is this for a substitution...!? And both of
them were already well-warmed up, sweating as if they’d just finished a
workout.

‘Now, for the next theme: foods that increase nighttime power. Serve goes to
"Blue Snow."’

"...!"

Kajou-senpai’s face twisted.

Yutori and the "Abstinent Demon" had come out first to drain our stamina.

But if the opponents were now Biku-Biku Tanaka and Bero-Bero Yamada, we
might still have a chance even in our weakened state.

"Eel!"

Kajou-senpai sent me a slow shot with a bitter expression, and I slammed it

back at Biku-Biku Tanaka with a "...Liver!" But my shot, lacking its earlier
power, was easily returned by Biku-Biku Tanaka with a "Garlic!"

"...Leek!"

Bero-Bero Yamada’s smash was far gentler compared to Yutori’s. It felt more
like a cautious shot to keep the rally going rather than aiming for a point, as if
they were afraid of making a mistake.

241
That’s when I finally realized Keisuke’s plan and why Kajou-senpai had been
making such a bitter face.

"Turtle!"

Kajou-senpai sent me another slow shot. It was a repeat of earlier. I had to hit
a weak shot at Biku-Biku Tanaka with a "Snake!" Biku-Biko Tanaka easily
returned it with a "Burdock root!"—The theme of "foods that increase nighttime
power" was endless!

"Damn, I think sticky foods are good for stamina...?"

I only knew the most common stamina-boosting foods. It wasn’t like I had
access to that kind of information, and the ero-books in Yatsuga Forest only
introduced Viagra-like drugs and supplements.

Both Kajou-senpai and I continued answering with half-remembered

knowledge.

"Okra!" "...Natto!" "Banana!" "...Carrot!" Wait, are those even stamina-boosting

foods!? They’re all just long and thin! Are you saying they’re good for women’s
stamina if you shove them down there!?

While desperately returning shots, I complained internally, but since Otome-

senpai hadn’t called a stop, they must really be stamina-boosting foods. It’s
just that we didn’t know about them. Damn, this is exactly the situation I was
afraid of.

And soon, we ran out of foods we could answer.

"Seminal fluid!"

Kajou-senpai neutralized her PM and swung her racket! Wait, Kajou-senpai,

that’s definitely a stamina-boosting substance, but it’s unclear if it fits the

242
theme, and it’s not even food! But judging by the reactions around us, it wasn’t
wrong, so I mustered all my strength and shouted "...Yam!" as I swung my
racket.

"Eggs!" "...Ginger!"

But despite our desperate resistance, Bero-Bero Yamada and Biku-Biku

Tanaka effortlessly returned the shots.

Kajou-senpai, still with her PM neutralized, followed up with "Love juice!" but I
couldn’t think of any more stamina-boosting foods!

"Cu... cucumber!"

The shot I made in confusion hit the net, and Otome-senpai added insult to
injury with ‘The answer is also out!’

Eleven to seven.

The first set ended with our PM neutralization time and stamina completely
drained.

"It’s okay. There’s still the next set! I’m counting on you, Tanukichi!"

During the less-than-two-minute interval, Kajou-senpai declared this with

strength. I also responded with "Yes! Next time for sure!"

But in the back of my mind, I knew we couldn’t win like this. Something was
missing, just one step short.

And without knowing what that something was, I spent the interval as a mere
formality.

‘Alrighty, second set. We’re switching players again~.’

243
Returning to the ping pong table with almost no time to recover our stamina,
we were met with even greater challenges.

Next to me stood Yutori, who had apparently recovered her stamina and was
back as the attacker. In front of me stood the "Love Machine," who would
undoubtedly have endless answers as the defender.

And what made it even tougher was...

‘Hmm. Then the theme will be types of "masochists". Serve goes to "Blue
Snow."’

Otome-senpai, her eyes sparkling, gave a theme that clearly favored the "Love
Machine."

By now, Otome-senpai was no longer conflicted about which side to belong to.
If anything, she seemed to be hoping for SOX’s defeat.

With the referee and prize herself like this, our already near-zero chances of
winning were...

On top of that, the "Love Machine," perhaps fueled by excitement that had
reached triple levels beyond doubles, effortlessly returned my shots with
answers like "Assault!" despite their cumbersome outfit.

And Yutori unleashed the powerful crouching smash she had shown in the
first half of the first set with "...Dominant!" tormenting Kajou-senpai, who was
already drained of stamina.

Even when Kajou-senpai managed to send me shots like "Seduction!" it was

just a repeat of the first half of the first set. Trying to answer while hitting
those awkwardly positioned shots at the "Love Machine" was an impossible
task.

244
And Yutori, had she been coached by the "Love Machine" or something? She
was oddly knowledgeable about BL (Boys’ Love) jargon. Why was she
spouting terms like "...Queen!" like some kind of blue-colored red bean rice?
Do all girls have a talent for rotting like natto? Are the soybeans in their
crotches the root of all evil?

Anyway, because of that, both Yutori and the "Love Machine" had an endless
supply of answers to Otome-senpai’s BL-leaning questions.

Either we’d be blasted by Yutori’s murderous shots or run out of answers and
be declared ‘Out~’ by Otome-senpai.

The second set progressed as a brutally one-sided game, with one of those
two outcomes.

‘The next theme is types of "seme".’ (semen)

Nine to zero. The overwhelming difference in strength. We hadn’t scored a

single point and were pushed to the final stage.

My breathing was ragged, and my racket felt heavy. Kajou-senpai, diagonally

to my left, also had an incredibly stern expression visible through her panties.
Still, she managed to return the serve that had come around three times with
"King seme!"

Being pushed this far, I finally realized.

This was a public execution that had been going on since our humiliating
defeat in the fourth round yesterday.

Otome-senpai was almost completely uninterested in the outcome, utterly

enchanted by the "Love Machine."

245
Surrounded by the four major lewd joke terrorist organizations who wanted us
to lose, we were being worn down.

Every time we lost a point, the ground shook with cheers, and every time we
made a fine play, they drowned us out with deafening jeers.

‘They’re really something, those two~.’

Keisuke’s voice, amplified by PM, added fuel to the atmosphere crushing SOX.

The malice seeped into our exhausted hearts like water dripping into a desert.

Kosuri was outside the court shouting ‘Shut up and die, you disgusting
perverts!’ but it was like pouring water on a hot stone.

I had known this situation for a long time.

You’re wrong. You’re inferior. You’re a being that should be eliminated. The
violence of numbers whispering such things, a cramped world. A boring world.

My body, screaming in pain as it reached its limit, was about to buckle under
the pressure.

My face, drenched in sweat, was horribly contorted, my vision blurred,

amplifying my misery.

The determination to win at all costs was about to break.

But still,

"...Thick seme!"

I couldn’t give up.

246
"Pathetic seme!"

"...Old man seme!"

Yutori’s relentless attack pierced Kajou-senpai.

"Straight seme!"

Kajou-senpai neutralized her PM and sent the ball to me. She had neutralized
her PM early to leave me with answers I could use.

"...Cool seme!"

But,

"Junior seme!"

"...Glasses seme!"

That also left the "Love Machine" and Yutori with answers they could use. We
had managed to delay losing points this way, but in the end, we still lost them.
Even so,

"Shota seme!"

Both Kajou-senpai and I kept fighting, no matter how hopeless it seemed, no

matter how absurd it was.

It didn’t matter that the panties on her head were soaked to an R -18 level from
her heavy breathing.

She wasn’t some ideal hero.

247
The true form of Kajou-senpai, whom I had decided to follow, was surely
something muddy, ugly, and absurd.

"...Cross-dressing seme."

I put all my strength into returning the shot to the "Love Machine."

"Beast seme!"

"...Junior seme!"

But something was missing. Just one step short of breaking the chains in my
heart.

"Ah, uh... Tentacle seme!"

Kajou-senpai awkwardly returned Yutori’s fast shot. But the ball flew far off
course, missing me entirely.

Using a roundabout term like "tentacle" meant Kajou-senpai’s PM

neutralization had finally run out.

Ten to zero. If this kept up, the next point would end everything.

‘Hmm. It’s hard to come up with themes when the match goes on this long.’

‘Yeah. I never expected them to hold out this long without giving up, so I’m out
of questions. Well, it’ll be over soon, so why not give them an easier theme?’

Keisuke spoke to Otome-senpai, as if timing it perfectly with Kajou-senpai’s

PM neutralization running out.

248
They were going to give us a token handicap and thoroughly crush us.

‘Alright then. The final theme will be: different ways to say that white fluid.’

In other words, metaphorically describe semen.

With PM neutralization unavailable, terms like semen, sperm juice, and even
z●men or s●erma were off-limits. And the number of foods that could
metaphorically represent semen was limited.

This was a theme designed to crush the physically exhausted SOX in one fell
swoop.

Otome-senpai had even casually said ‘final’ earlier.

‘Well, let’s begin.’

With a voice that seemed to carry a sneering laugh, Keisuke urged us on. The
"Love Machine," whose turn it was to serve, sent the ball to Yutori with a
cheerful ‘Immature theme... Kef●r!’ despite their words.

Come to think of it, I once heard a story about one of my dad’s friends who
had a hobby of licking figurines coated in Kef●r and posting about it on his
blog. What a bizarre, out-of-this-world tale.

Wait, is this a death flashback? My mental and physical limits might finally be
hitting red.

"...Milk!"

"Ugh, Calpis!"

"...Yogurt!"

249
Somehow managing to return from the flashback, I slammed Kajou-senpai’s
shaky shot at the "Love Machine." But the Love Machine, growing stronger
with every delusion, coolly returned it with "Porridge!" These guys sure know
their dirty joke supplements.

And then it happened.

"...Glue!"

From a few meters behind, Yutori charged forward, shouting an answer to the
theme, ready to unleash a full-powered strike.

I caught a glimpse of Kajou-senpai’s expression.

A face she had never shown me head-on before.

A face filled with anxiety, as if lamenting the end of the world, utterly defeated.

It was no coincidence that I was drawn to that expression.

Because Kajou-senpai was looking straight at me with that weak expression.

Humans are wired to react sensitively to others’ gazes. That’s why you get
caught immediately when trying to sneak a peek at a girl’s ecstatic face during
a prank.

For just a moment, Kajou-senpai’s gaze met mine, and I blamed myself again.

Had I been leaning on her all this time? Without noticing her gaze, or rather,
dismissing it as impossible, I had been selfish. I had imposed my ideals on
her.

Yesterday, I had been cheering her on, pushing all the responsibility onto
someone with such a vulnerable expression.
250
The girl who, now exhausted from Yutori’s relentless attacks, was leaning on
the table, gasping for breath.

The fact that I had thoroughly reflected on last night came back to torment
me.

And then it happened.

"...?"

Kajou-senpai’s hands, which had been holding the racket, began to lower
weakly.

At this very moment, as Yutori was about to unleash her strike, Kajou-senpai
was about to lower her racket. ...Her spirit was about to break!

What are you giving up for, Kajou-senpai?

If you give up here, you’ll never get to live in a ridiculous world where you can
coat figurines in Kef●r and lick them. You’ll be stuck in this boring world
forever! ...But it’s not like I can blame you.

I was the one who deified Kajou-senpai and burdened her with all the
responsibility.

What Nadeshiko-san called a partner was surely someone who shared that
burden.

Then, at the very least, at the end.

"Senpai!"

251
I shouted. Kajou-senpai, who had lowered her gaze along with her racket,
flinched and looked up.

There were only a few moments before Yutori’s strike landed. No time for
words. So I just looked straight at Kajou-senpai.

Senpai, it’s okay. Even if you return a clumsy shot, even if you mess up the
answer, I’ll handle it! I’ll make sure to strike back at them! Even if I can’t, I’ll
share the responsibility of the loss!

So don’t give up and abandon the answer and the shot. Any shot is fine. Just
hit it to me, Kajou-senpai!

"...!"

Kajou-senpai’s eyes widened in realization.

"──This is the end!"

Yutori’s attack came crashing down toward Kajou-senpai.

"...This is it. I’m entrusting it to you, Tanukichi."

For some reason, at that moment.

Kajou-senpai, her lips barely moving, looked like she was smiling through
tears.

"──One in!"

Kajou-senpai sent Yutori’s fast shot to me without dampening its momentum.

And her answer was something that didn’t seem to represent semen at all.

252
The surrounding gazes looked down on her, thinking she had given up at the
last moment.

The relaxed atmosphere of Yutori and the "Love Machine," confident in their
victory, was palpable.

I could even feel Otome-senpai starting to prepare for the end.

At this moment, everyone here was certain of our defeat.

Because everything about Kajou-senpai’s answer and shot was wrong.

But hey.

Love Machine, you said it yourself, didn’t you? About accepting someone as
they are and creating love.

Kajou-senpai’s answer was wrong. It was wrong, but since she entrusted it to
me, I wanted to accept it. Not reject it or discard it. There must be some
possibility, some feeling embedded in it, just like how the "Love Machine"
boasted about creating love from nothing.

But if I thought, "Kajou-senpai would think this way," I’d just cling to an ideal
that didn’t exist and fail again.

Yutori told me too, didn’t she? "Don’t kill yourself."

The words Kajou-senpai entrusted to me were just "One in." It was up to me to

figure out how to turn that into an answer.

One in... three hundred million... what that represents.

253
I had to shape the words and feelings entrusted to me into my own words.

Take this.

The answer passed from Kajou-senpai to me, the three hundred million
sperm’s──

"──THREE HUNDRED MILLION!"

I caught the ping pong ball in the center of my racket and swung with all my
might in my battered state.

The strike, filled with Yutori’s full power, Kajou-senpai’s full power, and my full
power──

"Bweh!?"

──hit the "Love Machine’s" forehead with enough force to pierce through their
mask.

"──This is the end!"

Yutori had been certain of victory for a long time. The match had become a
mere formality, and she was already thinking about how to break Tanukichi’s
brainwashing, which seemed to have been manipulated by "Blue Snow."

And that certainty of victory became even stronger just before she delivered
the final blow.

She had seen the expression on "Blue Snow’s" face, as if she had given up on
the match.

254
Well, Yutori thought it was understandable.

The overwhelming difference in both intelligence and physical strength. The

humiliating gap in points where they couldn’t even put up a fight. Abandoned
even by Otome-senpai, who should have been on their side, and trapped in a
hellish situation where they were constantly denied by hundreds of people.

Yutori had even felt irritated, wondering how long they planned to cling on
pointlessly, but she was satisfied to deliver the final blow when "Blue Snow"
finally broke, just like them. Or so she thought.

"One in..."

"Three hundred million!"

In a sudden twist, SOX, revived at the last moment, sent a shot at the "Love
Machine" with a mysterious answer at an incredible speed.

Everyone present, including Yutori, was stunned.

"Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!"

Then, as if to laugh off the silence, none other than "Blue Snow" and Tanukichi
stood side by side at the ping pong table, slapping each other on the back.

"What’s with ‘One in three hundred million’? Are you stupid or something?"

"That’s because you gave such an answer, senpai. I just followed through."

"Well, I said it in desperation, but I never expected it to turn out like that. You
really are the worst of the best."

"Thanks. Hey, referee! What’s the score?"

255
Tanukichi called out to Otome-senpai in the shrine in a casual tone.

"...Ah, uh, yes, yes... That’s right. The answer is valid. One point to SOX."

"W-wait, hold on, referee!"

Keisuke, showing signs of agitation for the first time, pressed Otome-senpai.
The "Love Machine," clutching their forehead over their mask in agony, also
turned their protesting gaze toward the shrine.

"The rule is one word per person, so it’s out, right?"

"Hmm, well, that’s true. But the review of the answer is basically after the ball
lands, and at that point, it made sense. Besides..."

Otome-senpai, seemingly confused by the rapidly shifting emotions, chose her

words carefully.

"That answer overwhelmed everyone present. Including me, of course."

Overwhelmed?

Why, at that critical moment, did they make such a bold move that seemed
like it had been prearranged, violating the rules and almost certainly costing
them the point? Yutori couldn’t understand.

It didn’t make sense. But no one could argue with Otome-senpai’s judgment.

That was the answer.

"Well then, let’s continue the match. Referee, please."

"Yes."

256
Prompted by Tanukichi, Otome-senpai announced in an excited voice,
‘Alright~. The next theme is: if you were to compare a woman’s ‘treasure
trove’ to something, what would it be?’

This theme, in contrast to the previous ones that seemed to draw out the
"Love Machine’s" strength, was one that tested SOX’s abilities.

"Hey, hey, referee? This competition is heavily focused on pure knowledge, so

a theme that requires wit like before is a bit..."

"As the prize, I make the rules, don’t I?"

Ignoring Keisuke’s flustered attempt to correct the theme, Otome-senpai’s

serious gaze was already fixed on the two members of SOX, who were
grinning at each other across the ping pong table.

As if trying to discern something rising from the two of them.

The outcome of the match was decided by the referee and prize, Otome-
senpai. That was what Keisuke had confidently declared at the beginning.
Perhaps realizing further persuasion was futile, Keisuke fell silent.

"Oysters!"

The match resumed with Tanukichi’s serve, and the "Love Machine" sent a
slow shot to Yutori with "Akebi!"

"...Sea squirt!"

To blow away the confusion, Yutori swung her racket with "...Sea squirt!"

But,

257
"Hole!" "Konjac!"

"Blue Snow" and Tanukichi once again fired back with a single answer without
hesitation.

‘Ten to two. Now, the next theme is~~~’

But Yutori’s powerful crouching smash, which had been SOX’s fatal weakness,
no longer had any effect.

"Blue Snow" sent the ball to Tanukichi without dampening its momentum, and
Tanukichi instantly complemented "Blue Snow’s" incomplete answer, returning
it to the "Love Machine."

The SOX side, no longer disrupted in rhythm, returned the ball with an
impossibly fast attack. On the other hand, the "Love Machine" and Yutori were
frequently thrown off rhythm and missed shots.

Why, why...!?

Yutori kept repeating the question in her head as she listened to Otome-
senpai’s themes.

Why could they turn things around like this from such a desperate situation?

Just moments ago, both of them had been mentally and physically broken, but
now they were so lively, so happy!

If they lost one more point, it would be over! Why could they smile so
confidently, without hesitation or fear, and make such absurd answers?

Hey, "Blue Snow."

258
You told me last night, didn’t you? Something like, "I don’t need Tanukichi
anymore, so you can have him," with such a wicked face.

What do you mean, "I don’t need him anymore"? What do you mean, "I was
annoyed by his weird infatuation"?

When you trust each other so much that there’s no room for doubt, when you
show it off like this, what do you mean...!?

‘P-player substitution! Player substitution!’

Ten to three. Keisuke hurriedly pulled Yutori off the court.

Realizing that a power struggle was no longer favorable for SOX, he

substituted the "Abstinent Demon," who could likely draw out more answers.

‘The next theme is: genres of lewd videos!’

The theme Otome-senpai announced, now clearly excited, was unfavorable for
SOX, who had little familiarity with videos. However,

"Amateur!"

"Blue Snow," having regained the serve, confidently served, and Tanukichi
returned with "Planned videos!"

The "Love Machine," determined to crush them here, sent a perfectly placed
shot with "Uniform!" and the "Abstinent Demon" followed up with "...OL!" using
all their strength. But,

"On the train!"

"Groping!"

259
SOX, now in a state of complete familiarity with dirty jokes, effortlessly
returned the shots with a fierce attack. Ten to four.

The gap was closing rapidly.

‘Next is: foods that remind you of a woman’s chest!’

As SOX scored points and their momentum grew, Otome-senpai’s voice also
rose.

Yutori watched this reversal with a feeling as if her insides were boiling.

She clutched her chest, muttering "Ugh..." as she stared at the two’s vulgar
dance.

Hey, why, "Blue Snow"?

Why did you say you didn’t need Tanukichi anymore, who you trust so much,
and incite me like that?

And that moment when our eyes met as I left the ping pong table.

Why are you, Tanukichi’s number one, looking at me with such a defeated
expression!

That expression of defeat should be on my face!

Ah, really, it’s infuriating.

...But, why is it?

Even though it’s so infuriating, even though it’s so frustrating. Seeing the two
of them, who were driven into a situation far worse than the despair I

260
experienced, laughing foolishly and enjoying themselves as they fought back,
an uncontrollable feeling welled up in my chest.

I’ve been on the verge of this so many times. But each time, it was buried
under even greater despair.

But now, I can’t hold it back anymore. The heat spreading in my chest knows
no bounds.

If people don’t change, the world won’t change.

Then, wouldn’t SOX, who can make me feel this passionately, change the
world?

...No, they don’t have to change the world. I don’t expect anything that grand.
Complicated things don’t matter.

I just simply want to fool around with these guys. That’s what I’ve come to
think.

‘Ten to twelve. The second set is a comeback victory for SOX.’

"Yessssssssss!"

Tanukichi let out a runner’s high-induced scream.

"Hey, you guys."

Yutori, while chuckling at Tanukichi’s strange cry, called out to the members
of "Absolute Hemlines" and "The Mammals," who were standing
dumbfounded, watching the match’s outcome.

"I’m joining SOX. What about you guys?"

261
●

Tanukichi and Kajou-senpai were now one through dirty jokes.

"──No!"

"Kef●r!"

‘SOX’s answer is valid. This makes it four to ten in the final set. Match point
for SOX.’

"Yesss!"

I let out another scream and a triumphant pose, having lost count of how
many times I’d done so.

Since then, Kajou-senpai and I had continued answering with an abnormal

level of enthusiasm that could only be explained as a runner’s high, bringing
us to the brink of a comeback victory.

It’s impossible not to get pumped up at this point. I feel like I could even shout
banned words now.

Kajou-senpai was also grinning from ear to ear every time we scored. The
tearful smile I thought I saw when I answered with "three hundred million
strike" must have been my imagination.

Because Kajou-senpai is now laughing so happily and so strongly!

‘Alright then... The final theme is: the body part that rubs a man’s symbol up
and down... Hmm?’

Just as Otome-senpai announced what would likely be the final theme,

something happened.
262
An uneasy atmosphere erupted from the "Love Machine" and the "Abstinent
Demon," who were facing us.

And from the "Throbbing Butts" and the "Bacon Lettuce Mothers’ Association"
surrounding the ping pong table.

"W-wait, this can’t be... We’re going to lose...? This wasn’t part of the plan..."

"Hohoho, is this the end? The indecent magazines of Yatsuga Forest and the
miracle artist, gone?"

"Hey, this is a joke, right...? I haven’t even made my request yet for that
amazing illustration..."

"After all this time being quiet, this is just cruel... I wanted to see more, more
of the beastly glasses seme × muscle uke!"

"Hey, those indecent magazines from Yatsuga Forest must be hidden in

Kiyomonsou, right?"

"And that artist, why don’t we just expose them already..."

"There are only a few of them. If we force our way in, it’ll be easy."

The uneasy atmosphere spread, resonating and growing, swelling like a dick.

‘Hey, Keisuke, what’s the meaning of this? Didn’t you have some face to save
too? Hurry up and restrain them.’

‘Eh~? Well, it’s true, but~. If they act on their own without my orders, then it’s
not my responsibility, right~? Sorry~? I’m still inexperienced with civilian
control and all that~. Ah~, what an unfortunate outcome, really.’

263
That bastard! He said they’d fight fair and square because it concerned the
organization’s future, but he had planned for the members to go berserk on
their own if things went south!?

"Hey! Cut it out, you scheming bastard!"

Kosuri, unable to tolerate Keisuke’s despicable strategy any longer, charged

into the shrine. But,

"Sorry, Kosuri, sorry! Once those guys get like that, even I can’t calm them
down with words!"

"Then offer yourself as a sacrifice or something, you bastard!"

If even Keisuke couldn’t stop them, this was bad.

Tanukichi and Kajou-senpai were in a zombie-like state, barely moving thanks

to the runner’s high.

The opponents were over two hundred adults. If they all went wild, even
Otome-senpai and the ero-books wouldn’t be safe.

"Indecent magazines... indecent magazines..."

"The miracle artist... I need to make my request..."

The crowd, driven by desire, began to swarm toward the shrine where Otome-
senpai was seated and the path leading to Kiyomonsou, like ghosts.

"Hey, wait, you guys!"

Even the "Love Machine" and the "Abstinent Demon," in the middle of the
match, left the ping pong table to join the chaos.

264
Just as Tanukichi and Kajou-senpai started running to at least protect Otome-
senpai, something happened.

‘Stop doing whatever the hell you want!!!’

A voice amplified by PM echoed, silencing the surroundings.

At the same time, members of "Absolute Hemlines" and "The Mammals"

surrounded the path to Akekado Hot Springs and the shrine, protecting them.

‘We, the representatives of "The Mammals" and "Absolute Hemlines," about

two hundred strong, are now under the umbrella of SOX! If you’re going to
break the rules and harm SOX, we’ll be your opponents! If you’re prepared to
face the consequences, bring it on!’

"Yutori...?"

An unbelievable scene unfolded.

Yutori, who had yelled at me the day before yesterday, calling me "just like the
Decency Squad!" and had been emitting murderous intent toward Kajou-
senpai today, now stood in front of the shrine, facing the "Abstinent Demon"
and the "Love Machine" head-on.

With two hundred subordinates, protecting us, SOX!

They all had fierce eyes, trembling but smiling with a challenging expression
as they faced the beasts of the "Throbbing Butts" and the "Mothers’
Association."

Even the "Two-Legged Employee," who had always seemed lacking in

presence, was swinging his tie around enthusiastically. Whether he’d be useful
or not was another matter.

265
The beasts, taken aback by the sudden appearance of "Absolute Hemlines"
and "The Mammals," froze. Then, Yutori continued to rally us.

‘Hey, SOX! Stop standing around! The theme’s already been announced! Finish
them off!’

"Huh?"

I, the server, let out a dumbfounded sound as I looked at the ping pong ball in
my hand.

Looking at the ping pong table, Kajou-senpai was grinning, sticking her thumb
between her index and middle fingers as if to say, "Bring it on." In front of me
was an empty court.

Looking around, the "Love Machine" and the "Abstinent Demon" were now
scrambling to return to the ping pong table.

"Uh, the theme was: the body part that rubs a man’s symbol up and down,
right?"

Various things came to mind. Feet, mouth, bare crotch, hair, armpits, the hole
in the butt.

But well, this is it. To mark my departure from my former self-absorbed self.

"Palm!"

Without holding back at all, I slammed a full-powered serve into the court of
the idiots who had abandoned the match.

‘The match is over.’

─────Whoa!
266
Yutori and the members of "Absolute Hemlines" and "The Mammals" erupted
into cheers loud enough to drown out the voices of Tanukichi, Kajou-senpai,
and Kosuri.

The "Shocking Rear End" and the "Bacon Lettuce Mothers’ Association," now
unable to indulge their desires or restart the competition, collapsed on the
spot.

"‘The Onahole Forbidden for Forty Days Sentimental Full-Body Organ Bomber’!"

"‘Blue Snow’!"

Bang!

Tanukichi and Kajou-senpai high-fived, as usual, but with more force than
ever. Both of us were drenched in sweat, our bodies on the verge of falling
apart, and we looked anything but cool. But this match, we won!

"Now then."

And I, dragging my battered body, stepped forward in front of the shrine.

I turned my face to Otome-senpai, who was sitting in the center of the shrine,
looking lost between Keisuke and Nadeshiko-san.

I could feel the gazes of Kajou-senpai and Yutori on my back, as if saying,

"What is this pervert going to say now?" Hey, stop it, it’s embarrassing. Ah, no,
actually, it’s not embarrassing. Come to think of it, I’ve lost my sense of
shame.

Yeah, it’s not embarrassing. So I’ll give Otome-senpai the words that came to
my heart, as they are.

267
"Hey, referee. You said you switched sides to draw what you wanted to draw...
But are you sure there’s nothing left on our side that you want to draw?"

I spread my arms and glanced back.

Kajou-senpai, barely standing, supported by Kosuri. Yutori and her comrades,

who had stood up to suppress the beasts.

These are the people who brought us this victory.

"Among the things that express people, lewdness is certainly attractive. Top
class, I’d say. No, top. My ‘little brother’ (penis) is whispering to me to seek
more lewdness."

Kosuri kicked me from behind. Hey, don’t interrupt, let me finish.

"But I don’t think people’s charm is limited to lewdness. If you obsess over just
that, aren’t you just like the Decency Squad, who insist that people should be
'proper'? Surely, there’s still something that Otome-senpai wants to draw,
something that expresses 'human charm.'"

I turned my back once more.

"Well, this is just what I feel right now, with no proof or anything. The judgment
is up to you, the referee and prize."

Just like how Kajou-senpai scattered erotic illustrations and left the final
choice to the students—she left the rest to them.

But, just like Yutori once did, she firmly expressed her own thoughts. In her
own words.

“…I get it, that much,” Saotome-senpai muttered sulkily as she got down from
the chair set up in the shrine.

268
“But, not being able to understand that is what a slump is, you know.”

With an embarrassed pout, she tilted her face slightly downward and walked
over to us with quick, determined steps. When she reached the stairs, she
turned back to look at Keisuke.

“Sorry, forest fairy. Whatever you’re thinking doesn’t matter to me. I appreciate
the help, but I want to draw what I want to draw, the way I want to draw it.
That’s why I’m going back to SOX. The Love Machine is tempting, but those
guys will probably reach that level soon enough.”

“…Oh. Do whatever you want,” Keisuke replied, waving his hand dismissively.

“Thanks for the advice,” Saotome-senpai said as she left Keisuke and returned
to our side.

“Sorry for the trouble.”

“Seriously. When we get back, I’ll tickle you all over, okay…?”

“Ah, geez, Blue Snow. You’re all wobbly, but you’re still pushing yourself too
hard, huh…?”

As I tried to support Kajou-senpai, who suddenly leaned to the side, the

strength left my legs.

“Daaah!? Blue Snow-sama is more than welcome, but don’t you go passing out
too! If the person carrying her gets her scent on them, they’ll become that
monster’s target! …Oh, right, there’s a protrusion on her back. This is your
chance to stick to her. Carry her.”

“Huh? Uh, no, I… I feel kinda bad about this…”

269
“…Ugh. This is such a pain. This is why the younger generation is… Well,
anyway, let’s just dump this guy in the river and have someone pick him up
downstream.”

“Wha—idiot! He’ll die! Fine, I’ll carry him!”

“You should’ve said that from the start. …It’s about time you got a taste of your
own medicine, Kosuri. It’s pissing me off.”

“Huh? Did you say something?”

“Nothing at all! Just hurry up and carry him!”

As I faintly heard this exchange, I completely lost consciousness.

Watching Ayame and Tanukichi being carried away after collapsing,

Nadeshiko let out a deep sigh.

“Ahh… Those kids. They’ve really grown up. Now I’ll have to keep walking this
dangerous tightrope of supporting a terrorist organization for a while longer.
How depressing, really.”

“…Hey, boss lady, was this your plan all along?”

Keisuke, his voice casual but his entire body trembling as if he were about to
explode in anger, asked through gritted teeth.

“I didn’t think it’d go this smoothly, but yeah. Well, speaking from my own wild
days, people tend to follow those they genuinely admire from the bottom of
their hearts. Things like hospitality or conditions come second. When you try
to recruit someone next time, make sure you’ve got more than just smooth
talk prepared. Though, this isn’t something you can solve just by thinking.”

270
“…I’ll keep that in mind. But I never thought there’d be someone stupid enough
to use us like this.”

“Yeah. Good experience, huh? Now, hurry up and get going. …Thank you for
your visit. We look forward to serving you again, Onigashira Keisuke-sama.”

As Nadeshiko shooed him away, she suddenly switched to her business

mode, making Keisuke chuckle wryly.

“Yeah. I’ll quietly retreat for today. My only daughter’s still in the middle of her
rebellious phase, after all. I’ll leave her to you. But still~”

Keisuke also twisted his body, switching into his okama mode.

“I’ll consider it a win that I realized I misjudged which SOX member to crush
first. Well then, I’ll be looking forward to the next opportunity☆”

Glaring at Tanukichi as he was carried away, Keisuke ordered the beasts

collapsed by the riverbank to clean up. Alongside the Love Machine, they each
left through their respective routes.

“…That was definitely the way he talks when he’s plotting something bad.”

As Nadeshiko replayed Keisuke’s parting words in her head, she scratched her
head in annoyance.

“Well, they’ll figure something out.”

Exhaling a puff of purple smoke, Nadeshiko gazed blankly at the night sky.

------------------------------------------------------------------

271
Ending: Each of Their Outcomes

“Ahh… Finally, the muscle pain all over my body is gone.”

It had been several days since we, SOX, defeated Keisuke and his crew in a
five-round battle of dirty jokes.

On the day the fifth round ended, both Kajou-senpai and I passed out
simultaneously and were carried away by Yutori and the others. Apparently,
we slept like logs for over a full day.

Even after waking up, we were hit with intense muscle pain all over our bodies.
We soaked in the hot springs repeatedly to recover, but it still took a
considerable amount of time to fully heal.

Partly to avoid Anna-senpai, I hadn’t seen Kajou-senpai or Yutori for a while.

For some reason, The Two-Legged Employee volunteered to take care of us

and act as our liaison, so it wasn’t inconvenient, but… Saotome-senpai, who
had quickly learned a new phrase called “old man assault,” once hid in the
closet, so I really wished she’d cut it out.

Anyway, today I finally fully recovered.

There was only about a week left of summer vacation. For the first time in
several days, the SOX members were gathering together. Well, considering
Saotome-senpai had been away for a while, it might have been even longer.

The location was the guest room of the hot spring inn where I was hiding, to
ensure Anna-senpai wouldn’t find out about my presence. Right on time, the
door opened.

“Long time no—gah!?”

272
Splash! Splash! Splash!

The moment I stepped into the room, I was drenched in liquid from head to
toe. Of course, it wasn’t that kind of liquid. It was deodorant spray.

“Next! Coat his entire body! Be as thorough and quick as putting a condom on
a premature leaky dick! If even a little gets through, consider your life over!”

Under Kajou-senpai’s orders, Kosuri and Yutori, standing on either side of me,
began wrapping me up like a mummy with some kind of film. Kosuri even
climbed onto a high stool to coat my face, and by the time I finally managed to
speak, I was utterly dumbfounded.

“Hey! I’m gonna die here!”

“You’ll be fine! We’ll leave holes for your eyes, nose, and mouth! Well, we’ll just
shove some Bre●Care in there, though.”

“That’s why I’m gonna die! What the hell is this, out of nowhere!?”

I turned to Yutori, who was now a new member of SOX, and pressed her for an
answer.

“...Uh, well, um…”

Yutori, who had been particularly thorough around my crotch area, turned
bright red and started stammering. If you’re gonna get flustered, don’t coat
that area so carefully in the first place!

“Anna’s withdrawal symptoms have been getting worse every night.”

Kajou-senpai answered my question. She should have recovered just like me,
but for some reason, she looked a little pale.

273
“Anna and I are sharing a room, and Kosuri and Yutori are staying next door.
But every night, Anna has been, well… writhing under the covers, making these
squelching sounds…”

“And if that pent-up frustration were to accidentally target Kosuri or Yutori,

who might have her scent on them, it’d be a disaster. That’s why we’ve gone
all out with the deodorant.”

Kosuri took over from Kajou-senpai, who had been struggling to explain.

“Wait, so Kosuri, who’s wearing my clothes, was the one who got targeted by
Anna-senpai?”

“Ah, well, at some point, the scent must’ve weakened, so she stopped paying
attention to me.”

Kosuri replied with a full-faced smile. It was the best shot I’d seen from her in
weeks.

“Anyway, that’s why we’re being extra thorough with the deodorant. Still, while
we’ve managed to handle the issue with Saotome-senpai, what are we going
to do about Anna transferring schools?”

Ah, right. That was still unresolved.

Anna-senpai apparently plans to stay holed up at Akekado Hot Springs until

her mother, Sophia Nishikinomiya, cancels the transfer. But if Sophia gets
serious, who knows what she might do.

If only there were a solution… Actually, the reason Sophia brought up the
transfer in the first place was because we disrupted the peace of the First
Purity Designated City. What are we supposed to do about that?

Just then.

274
Beep beep beep beep beep.

Kajou-senpai’s PM notified her of an incoming call.

“...It’s Anna.”

“Hey, hide in the closet, quick! You mummy!”

Kosuri kicked me, still wrapped up in film, into the closet.

“What the hell!?”

“That monster might sense you through the phone, just from the sound of your
clothes rustling or your breathing!”

Kosuri was genuinely scared. Kajou-senpai and Yutori didn’t defend me either,
so it seemed like this fear was a shared understanding. Yeah, well, it is scary.

“Hello? What’s up, Anna? You sound unusually cheerful… Huh? The transfer’s
off!? You’re coming home tomorrow? Wait, of course I’m happy, but why the
sudden change?”

Kajou-senpai, who had been calmly responding in her usual student council
vice-president mode, suddenly raised her voice in surprise. Can’t blame her.
The issue of Anna-senpai transferring schools, which we’d just been
discussing, had suddenly been resolved.

“...I see. I see. Got it. I’ll check if there’s a bus available tomorrow or the day
after… Huh? Wh-what are you saying, you idiot? There’s no way Tanukichi is
here. Alright, I’m hanging up now.”

Kosuri and Yutori flinched. Hey, isn’t the scent blockade useless now?

275
“...Apparently, Sophia contacted Anna. It seems the transfer is really off.”

“Then what was the point of all this chaos over the past few days…?”

Kosuri slumped onto the floor, grumbling.

“Why was the transfer suddenly canceled? I can’t imagine Sophia

Nishikinomiya changing her stance so easily.”

She’s the kind of person who, convinced she’s right, would go so far as to
launch a ridiculous petition campaign.

“Yeah. Apparently, some reliable old friend of Sophia’s is coming to the First
Purity Designated City, so she feels reassured now or something.”

...What the hell?

Well, I guess it all comes down to Sophia’s subjective decisions. What a

nuisance.

“Anyway, now that the thorn in our side has been removed, let’s get to the
main topic.”

At Kajou-senpai’s prompting, we all took our seats around the table set up in
the guest room.

Kajou-senpai sat at the head of the table, with me and Yutori sitting next to
each other, and Kosuri across from us.

“Wait, where’s Saotome-senpai?”

“I called her, but she said she wanted to focus on finishing her piece for the
competition, so she’s holed up in a room at the multipurpose hall. Honestly, I
was planning to subject her to a public full-body tickling punishment, but…”
276
She probably ran away to avoid that.

“Hey, hey, wait a sec, Tanukichi! You’re too close! Go sit next to Blue Snow!”

Yutori, who was sitting next to me, leaned away from me as far as she could
while shooing me with her hand.

“What are you talking about? It’s not like it’s a big deal.”

“That’s right. In fact, you should get even closer.”

Huh? Before I could react, Kajou-senpai shoved me hard.

Thud!

Unable to move freely, I ended up face-planting into Yutori’s chest.

“Wh-wh-wh-what the hell are you doing, you idiot!? AAAAAAH!”

Yutori, her face bright red, pushed me back toward Kajou-senpai and stood up,
ready to argue.

“Don’t screw with me! Don’t just shove him on me! If he’s yours, keep him
close to you!”

“Huh? That’s my line. Why are you returning him? Are you afraid of catching
his beastly tastes?”

“Oh? I said I don’t want him, you idiot. This boring guy.”

“What?”

277
“Huh?”

Crackle crackle crackle! Sparks flew between Kajou-senpai and Yutori.

Huh? What’s this? Do you want me to die?

“Ah, geez. This is why Yutori is… Oh wait, in this case, it’s not just Yutori…”

“Hey, what’s going on? Do you want me to die?”

I wriggled like a worm over to Kosuri, who was holding her head like she knew
exactly what was going on, and asked.

“Ah, whatever. For now, just be Kosuri’s chair. You.”

I, still wrapped up, was turned into Kosuri’s chair. Bullying is bad, absolutely.

After a while, things finally calmed down, and we got to the main topic.

It was about how SOX, Absolute Hemlines, and The Mammals would
collaborate moving forward.

“For now, the two hundred people we brought with us are unified in their
resolve. They’re ready to act as SOX’s hands and feet to spread sexual
knowledge. But, well, it’s hard to go all out without convincing the spineless
higher-ups at headquarters. I’d like to go back and persuade them right away,
but just talking won’t be enough… It’s frustrating that those spineless higher -
ups, who dumped everything on us, won’t budge without something concrete,
but that’s the reality.”

Yutori looked somewhat awkwardly at Kajou-senpai.

278
“If it’s okay, could we get some of the indecent magazines from Yatsuga
Forest as proof of our collaboration with SOX and as material for spreading
sexual knowledge? It’d really help…”

“No.”

Kajou-senpai answered immediately.

“You betrayed us once. The radical indecent magazines I handed over once
are now in Keisuke’s possession, right? At the very least, I can’t give you the
originals. Sorry, but your organization is too easily swayed by larger trends.”

“...Haha. Yeah, you’re right. I’ll try to convince the old guys myself.”

Yutori’s shoulders slumped.

Kajou-senpai’s stance was understandable. A significant number of ero-books

had ended up in Keisuke’s hands after this incident, and it was true that
Yutori’s organization was prone to being swayed. But…

“It’s fine, isn’t it, Kajou-senpai?”

At my suggestion, Kajou-senpai responded with a malicious, “Why’s that, Mr.

Condom?”

“Being easily swayed means that if we make a mistake again, they’ll be quick
to react and either distance themselves or oppose us. They’re a clear
indicator. Plus, if we keep the valuable indecent magazines in reserve, it’ll help
keep us in check so we don’t make the same mistakes again.”

“...Hmm.”

Kajou-senpai rested her chin on her hand, thinking. Then,

279
“Well, if Tanukichi says so, I guess it’s fine.”

“R-really!? That’s a huge help!”

Yutori’s face lit up with joy. When our eyes met, she quickly looked away. Ah,
well, at least Kosuri’s warm butt is comforting.

“I’ll head back right away and get the whole organization ready to support
SOX!”

“Please do. We’ll work out the specifics and let you know after summer break.
It seems Kosuri and I have exchanged PM numbers, but if possible, let’s
communicate through Nadeshiko like I did before. It’s safer to avoid using
PMs except in emergencies.”

“...Ah, yeah, that makes sense.”

Yutori glanced at me and quickly looked away. What’s with her lately?

“Anyway, that’s about all we can discuss for now. Yutori and the others will
head back to convince their superiors. Anna’s planning to return tomorrow or
the day after, so let’s all head back together.”

Kajou-senpai tried to wrap things up. I raised my hand.

“Kajou-senpai. In that case, could you let me go back a bit later?”

“? Of course. There’s no way we’d let you go back at the same time as Anna.
What, do you want to be eaten?”

“That’s not it! It’s just that, well, I’d like to stay at Akekado Hot Springs a bit
longer and see Saotome-senpai’s finished work a little earlier. Saotome-
senpai’s going to keep working here for a while, right?”

280
“Ah, right. It’s safer for you to stay here a bit longer anyway, so you don’t run
into Anna when she returns to the First Purity Designated City. A few days
should be safe. Well, the backlash will be scary, though.”

Well, we’ll have to be on guard 24/7 for the backlash, but it’s nice to have a
few days without fearing Anna-senpai’s threats. For me, and for Kajou-senpai
and the others.

“Alright, that’s it for now. We’ll head back tomorrow and prepare for the post -
summer break terrorism. Tanukichi and Saotome-senpai will stay here a bit
longer to recuperate.”

Kajou-senpai clapped her hands together, signaling the end of the meeting.

“We need to get back before Anna starts suspecting something weird again.”

“Before we go, let’s give you a full-body Re●fresh spray!”

After Anna-senpai’s call, she seemed to have faintly sensed my presence, so

the two of them left without much fuss. Hey, wait, unwrap me first! Hey!

“...Is Blue Snow and Kosuri always like this?”

Yutori, who had stayed behind in the room, called out to me from a distance,
sounding reluctant.

...Hey, Yutori. At least stop talking to the wall pillar.

“Well, when Anna-senpai’s involved, things get scary. ...Uh, Yutori, could you
help me out with this first?”

“...Fine.”

281
After pacing back and forth for a while, Yutori roughly peeled off the film
wrapped around me.

“There. That’s it. ...I need to report the results to Absolute Hemlines and The
Mammals and get ready to head back to headquarters. I’m going back now.”

“Ah, wait.”

I lightly tugged on Yutori’s clothes as she tried to quickly leave the room
without making eye contact.

“Wh-what!? P-pervert! You pervert!”

Yutori shook her body vigorously to shake off my hand.

“What’s perverted about that!? ...I thought now that you don’t have a reason to
avoid me anymore, we could talk properly.”

I deliberately spoke in a sulky tone, and Yutori banged her head against the
wall. Hey, what, is that a habit?

“...Blue Snow and you, what the hell’s wrong with you, don’t screw with me…”

Muttering resentfully, Yutori turned her bright red face toward me and said,

“I said I’m in a hurry! Hurry up and finish!”

“You’re so impatient. Here, take this.”

I tore off a piece of memo paper from the desk and wrote down a series of
numbers with a pen. I handed it to Yutori.

“? What’s this?”

282
“It’s my PM number.”

“...Huh?”

“You keep running away when I try to exchange numbers. And, like Kajou-
senpai said, it’s better not to be connected through PMs too much to avoid
suspicion. Well, if you ever have an emergency, just input this and call me.”

“...Ah, uh, okay.”

Yutori nodded obediently for once. Good, that’s a rare victory.

“Alright, sorry for holding you up. Let’s work together from now on.”

I waved lightly at Yutori.

For some reason, Yutori stayed put, fidgeting and moving her mouth.

“What’s up?”

“Uh, well, about earlier, with Blue Snow…”

Ah, that whole “do you want me to die” exchange.

“...That was a lie. ...Don’t take it seriously, okay…?”

After squeezing out those words, Yutori disappeared from in front of me with
her usual swiftness.

“I know, it’s always like that.”

283
Though, to be honest, Kajou-senpai was unusually harsh this time, so I’m a
little hurt…

And so, Yutori Nuregoromo, my middle school classmate, became a member

of SOX.

“Alright, let’s see what we’ve got.”

About three days after Kajou-senpai and the others left Akekado Hot Springs.

I heard from Nadeshiko-san that Saotome-senpai, who had been working

almost non-stop, had finally reached a stopping point, so I headed to the
multipurpose hall.

The exhibition space that had caused Saotome-senpai’s slump had been
thoroughly cleared out by Keisuke, leaving no trace.

“This must be it.”

I entered the room Nadeshiko-san had told me about.

“Whoa, it’s a garbage dump.”

The space, about the size of two school classrooms, was cluttered with art
supplies and dishes.

The dishes, it seemed, were periodically cleaned up by the staff of

Kiyomonsou Inn, but even so, the place was a mess. Well, having an appetite
probably meant she had overcome her creative slump, so that was a good
thing.

"Oh, Tanukichi! Perfect timing. I was just about to finish."

284
At the far end of the room stood Saotome-senpai, dressed in her work clothes,
with a candied apple in her mouth.

She seemed to be hanging a painting she had just finished on the wall.

The wall already had nearly a hundred paintings displayed.

"Nufufu. This place is like heaven. I can focus entirely on my art, and the staff
at Kiyomonsou keep bringing me food. Takoyaki, yakisoba, grilled corn,
apples, frankfurters, grilled squid... I might just die from happiness."

"You'll die from malnutrition, you know!?"

It’s like she’s been turned into a leftover food disposal unit from a festival.

"Well, never mind that. What do you think of this painting?"

Saotome-senpai, having finished hanging the painting, asked with full

confidence.

"Well..."

Honestly, the level of completion was so high that I couldn’t casually give my
opinion.

It felt a bit self-indulgent to say this, but the vast number of paintings hanging
on the wall all seemed to depict sports-themed boys and girls, modeled after
me and Kajou-senpai from the fifth round.

There were various angles, situations, scenes of winning and losing, each with
rich variety, but all of them shone so brightly that you couldn’t help but want to
cheer them on.

285
Unlike Saotome-senpai’s earlier works, which were just pretty pictures before
she awakened to drawing lewd illustrations, these had real soul in them. They
were filled with such intensity that just looking at them made you want to
strive harder.

"With these, you could definitely convince the people at school."

It was a cliché response, but that was all I could muster.

Then, Saotome-senpai poked me in the side, saying, "Dumbass."

"Of course they would. What I’m asking is for your thoughts beyond that.
Come on, step back a bit."

She pulled me by the hand, bringing me closer to the front of the room.

"Look at those hanging paintings as a single picture. It’s a technique I heard

about from that Yutori girl."

I did as she said and focused on the paintings as a whole. What the hell is
this—

"Bwah!?"

The moment I realized, I burst out laughing.

"Fuhaha, what do you think? Amazing, right?"

"That’s amazing!"

Because when you lined up nearly a hundred paintings, what emerged was an
illustration of a man and woman in a 69 position.

286
It was a mosaic art piece.

"The title is 'Front and Back as One Series'! I’m going to send these one by one
to every contest out there! Kufufu. I can’t wait to reveal the trick after the world
changes."

There was only one thing I could say to Saotome-senpai, who was beaming
with pride.

"Ahaha, you’re such an idiot."

"Fufufu. That’s the highest praise!"

Saotome-senpai put her hands on her hips, leaned back, and laughed.

It was the moment SOX’s resident artist, Saotome Otome, made her
triumphant return.

"Alright. Now that Saotome-senpai’s matter is settled, it’s about time to head
back to school."

These past three days had been truly relaxing.

I decided to thank her again and, while I was at it, check the bus schedule as I
made my way from the multipurpose hall to Kiyomonsou Inn.

According to the calendar, it was already September, but the leftover cicadas
were still noisily chirping, and the sunlight was still strong.

However, the streets of Kiyomonsou, now past their peak and less crowded,
were perfect for a stroll. Listening to the babbling of the Akekado River, I felt a
refreshing breeze as I walked.

"Just a little while ago, things were so busy."

287
I stretched my body, savoring the remaining moments of rest, when
suddenly—

Beep beep beep.

My PM notified me of an incoming message.

"...Mom?"

It was unusual for her to contact me, given how rarely she did.

I opened the PM screen in midair and checked the message.

The moment I read its contents, I was stunned.

From: Okuma Ranko

Subject: It’s me
Body: Starting this October, I’ve been transferred to the First Decency
Designated City.
There are several things I need to discuss with you.
I’ll be coming over soon to greet you and handle the transfer.
Be prepared.

"...Wait, wait. The old friend Sophia Nishikinomiya mentioned... it couldn’t

be..."

My peaceful summer vacation seemed to have come to an abrupt end.

------------------------------------------------------------------
Afterword

288
Long time no see. This is Hirotaka Akagi. It’s been four months since Volume
3, and finally, Volume 4 is here. This volume has been said to have the most
dirty jokes so far—what did you think? Oh, just to be clear, I’m only writing
these dirty jokes because it’s part of the job, okay? In my everyday life, I’m as
pure as they come! Don’t get the wrong idea!

...Anyway, enough chit-chat. It’s time to talk about the brilliance of the word
nodochinko (uvula).

What’s so amazing about nodochinko? Well, its formal name is kougaisui

(which is a bit of a mouthful), and it also has nicknames like nodohiko (throat
prince) and uwajita (upper tongue). Yet, despite these alternatives,
nodochinko is the term that has firmly taken root in everyday language. So,
why can’t we call ears kaomanko (face pussy) or buttocks koppai (hip boobs)?
But no, it’s only nodochinko that has achieved this level of popularity. It’s the
only word that creates opportunities for girls to say something risqué in
casual conversation without feeling embarrassed.

Because it’s not chinko (dick), so it’s not embarrassing, right?

Whoever came up with the name nodochinko is a genius.

By the way, lately, my family and friends have been telling me, “I only read the
afterword.”

It’s frustrating, so I decided to bring the same energy from the main story into
the afterword.

This is the kind of mental illness I, Akagi Hirotaka, am dealing with.

Acknowledgments

To my editor, Gushiken-san. Thank you once again for your help this time.
Thanks to your schedule adjustments, I was able to cram in as many dirty
jokes as I wanted!
289
To Shimotsuki Eito-san, who handled the illustrations. Every time, you manage
to bring to life the outrageous ideas that come from my brain and my editor’s
twisted sense of humor. Thank you so much!

And to everyone else involved in the publication of this problematic dirty joke
series. Thank you all so much. My career as an author is supported by all of
you and by dirty jokes.

Well, I’m running out of space, so I’ll wrap it up here.

I’m not sure when the next volume will be out, but I hope to see you then!

(I’m on Twitter at @akagihirotaka, so if you follow me, you’ll get updates on

new releases. Don’t worry, I won’t post dirty jokes, so your timeline won’t get
messed up.)

Blatant self-promotion. Direct marketing. I’m not very good at this, you know...

Well, I’m really out of space now, so that’s it for this time. See you later!

290