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Copyright © 2023 by Red Diva Publishing LLC
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Cover Design: Wingfield Designs www.wingfielddesigns.co.uk/

Editor: Katie Kulhawik

Proofreading: Romance Editor, Nina Fiegl, s.p. www.ninafiegl.com

No portion of this book may be reproduced in any form without
written permission from the publisher or author, except as
permitted by U.S. copyright law.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and
incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used
fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead,
events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

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 Contents

Foreword
Dedication
1. Natalie
2. Jaxon
3. Jaxon
4. Natalie
5. Natalie
6. Jaxon
7. Jaxon
8. Natalie
9. Jaxon
10. Natalie
11. Jaxon
12. Natalie
13. Jaxon
14. Natalie
15. Jaxon
16. Natalie
17. Natalie
18. Jaxon
19. Natalie
20. Jaxon
21. Natalie
22. Jaxon
23. Natalie
24. Jaxon
25. Natalie
26. Jaxon
27. Natalie
28. Jaxon
29. Natalie
Epilogue
Acknowledgements
About the Author
More Books By Siena Trap

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 Foreword

A comprehensive list of trigger warnings for

those who need them can be found on my
website: www.sienatrapbooks.com

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This one is for all the girls who thought they
found the one, only to discover they were
wrong.
Mr. Right is waiting for you just around the
corner, I promise.

Andy, thank you for waiting around the

corner for me.

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 Chapter 1

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 Natalie

IT WAS DONE. THE papers that would

legally set me free from a ten-year marriage
were officially signed. The truth was I would
never be free; I’d only been granted a slightly
larger cage. The choices I’d made at eighteen
years old would define the rest of my life, as
well as my children’s.
 The course of my life changed when I had
been swept off my feet by a real-life prince at
sixteen years old. Prince Leopold Arthur
George Remington—of the tiny European
nation of Belleston, nestled in the Alps
between Italy, Switzerland, and Austria—had
charmed the pants off me during a summer
vacation in the Caribbean, and I hadn’t
known what hit me. Leo, as he was known,
was second in line for the throne—behind his
father—and would someday become the
King of Belleston.
Marrying a prince was every teenage girl’s
dream and, for a while, it had been the
fairytale the world expected it to be. Without
warning, it had turned into a nightmare, and
I’d found myself fleeing the country with our
three young children in the dead of night,
back to my hometown of Hartford,
Connecticut.
 A voice cut through the haze to my left.
“Ma’am?”
Lost in thought, I pondered the
consequences of closing this chapter of my
life when someone on my right gently
touched my arm, causing me to flinch. That
was my auto-response when touched without
warning—another souvenir of my marriage
to Leo.
Brought back to the present, I remembered
where I was.
Private conference room.
Lawyers.
Divorce papers.
Feeling the heat creep into my cheeks, the
words rushed out of my mouth. “I’m sorry.”
My lawyer smiled a sad smile. I couldn’t
imagine doing his job, watching as families
fell apart and assets divided. It was hard
enough experiencing it this once.
 Gathering the papers in front of him on the
conference room table, he stood. “I’ll have
these filed and send copies for your records.”
Nodding, numb from everything that got us
to this point, I replied, “Thank you.”
Stonecrest Palace, located in the capital city
of Remhorn, had been my home for the past
decade. The richly appointed walls
surrounding us had borne witness to
hundreds of years of Bellestonian history. My
failures were now a black mark on the
illustrious legacy that was the House of
Remington.
Leo would now be the first monarch to take
the throne after a divorce. I wasn’t naive
enough to believe every marriage in this
family’s centuries-long history was perfect,
but they found ways to stay together.
Whether that meant living separate lives or
finding new companions, I didn’t know, but I
couldn’t stay here one minute longer. Life
with Leo made me fear for my safety, and
protecting my children was well worth the
cost of leaving.
I remained seated as the lawyers filed out,
leaving my now ex-husband and me alone in
the room. I went to great lengths over the
past few years to avoid situations such as this
one. Without witnesses, Leo was at his most
dangerous.
Neither of us was the same person we were
when we had gotten married.
Entering our marriage, I had been young—
too young—idealistic, and enthusiastic at the
prospect of making a difference in the world.
My whole future had been in front of me.
That future suddenly changed when I was
dealt not just one, but two teenage
pregnancies, thus ending any hopes I
might’ve had of continuing my education.
Falling instantly in love with my babies, I
hadn’t mourned the loss of that path.
 What I hadn’t realized was that my wings
had been clipped long before then.
Leo had been so charismatic, instantly
drawing me in with his personality and blond
good looks. He’d been groomed for public
life and was an expert at putting on a public
show. Appearances were of the utmost
importance. He had demanded perfection of
me, requiring I be the ultimate accessory by
his side for the rest of our lives. When I had
buckled under the pressure, he turned on me,
letting me know exactly who was in charge
of my life.
Spoiler alert—it wasn’t me.
Leo folded his hands on the table, his
demeanor as calm and calculated as ever, as
he addressed me for the first time since we
entered the room. “Are you happy now,
Natalie?”
Could he have asked a more loaded
question?
 Was I happy that my children had become
an inconvenience to their father?
Was I happy that when I’d left two years
ago, I had spent countless nights awake,
scared he’d come and demand that his
children be returned to their rightful home?
Was I happy that my life had crumbled
around me to the point where I no longer
recognized myself?
Leo had spent years breaking my spirit, my
sense of self-worth, and any semblance of
my identity. I wasn’t sure if I would ever feel
happy again.
Leveling him a glare from across the table,
sarcasm dripped from my words. “Fucking
thrilled, Leo. What do you want me to say?”
He shrugged, appearing bored in his three-
thousand-dollar navy suit. “You got
everything you wanted.” When I merely
scoffed in response, he got slightly more
aggressive. “What more do you want from
me? You have full custody of the children,
and you’ve taken enough money from me
that you’ll never have to work a day in your
life.”
Of course, he would mention money like
that had been my only objective in obtaining
this divorce. I didn’t want his money, didn’t
want him thinking I owed him anything. I
had a trust fund from my parents and could
have taken care of the kids comfortably with
those funds, but my in-laws insisted on a
lump sum as part of the settlement. My
children were their future, after all.
The only thing I cared about was my kids—
nothing else mattered. Leo gave me custody
of them so easily that it almost felt like a
trap. That’s how it worked with Leo. He
made you believe you were in control until
he flipped the script, showing you he’d been
pulling the strings all along. The last ten
years under his thumb would leave me wary
for the rest of my life.
Deciding to poke him a little bit to confirm
that he never really cared about me—or our
children—I responded, “What more could I
want? Let’s see . . . A father—or husband, for
that matter—who cared enough to find out
why we left and tried to make it right. To
fight for us.”
“You were acting like a child, Natalie. I was
not going to indulge you in the costly game
of hide-and-seek you were playing.”
This was what I came to expect from Leo
after ten years together. Every single issue
was turned around on me. I wasn’t allowed to
have emotions or even an opinion on matters
in my own life.
How many times had he told me that I chose
to live this life? That I should be grateful to
be at his side, a princess and future queen?
 When I didn’t respond immediately, he
continued, “I have responsibilities here. I
can’t just abandon them when my wife
decides to be dramatic. You’ve always
known that. I don’t get to do what I want to,
like Liam.”
Ah, Liam.
I was wondering how long it would be
before he threw that in my face. His younger
brother, Liam, took a liking to me very early
in our marriage. He was much closer to my
age, being only two years my senior
compared to Leo’s five, and immediately
took me under his wing, protecting me in any
way he could. He granted me the same
protections as their own little sister, Lucy.
When I left, he not only supported me, but
dropped everything in his life to move in and
help me with the kids, becoming the most
stable male presence in their lives.
 Leo and Liam were polar opposites in every
way.
Leo thrived when working a crowd with a
smile on his face, but darkness lurked behind
that polished façade—he was not the same
man in private that he was in public. Liam
was stoic, almost to the point of looking
angry all the time, but was fiercely loyal,
going above and beyond to protect those he
loved.
They were as different on the inside as they
were on the outside. Leo stood out in his
family, with his blond hair and brown eyes,
while Liam resembled the majority of the
Remingtons, with his pitch-black hair and
striking blue eyes—famously called
“Remington blue”.
Leo always resented that Liam seemingly
had more freedom because he wasn’t in the
direct line for the throne as the second son—
the spare, if you will. But even that was a
farce, a public show to make him look less
entitled. He craved the attention that came
with being the heir. Leo chased the high he
felt when controlling others. I shuddered to
think of the kind of ruler he would become
with five million people under his reign.
Trying to steer the conversation back on
track, I countered, “It doesn’t matter
anymore. We can’t change the past. It’s time
to move forward with our lives.”
It was clear that he wasn’t ready to move
forward as he continued to bait me. “You
know what they say about him moving in
with you, right?”
The they he was referring to were the press
or, more accurately, the paparazzi. They were
part of why I ran away with my children, but
it didn’t matter. We were followed across the
ocean; we would never be able to outrun who
we were. Every move I’d made since I was
sixteen was closely watched and scrutinized.
Privacy no longer existed. The toll that took
on my mental and physical health became
borderline dangerous, and I’d reached a
breaking point.
Liam had accompanied us when we fled
Belleston, going so far as to buy a house in
my hometown, in hopes that Leo couldn’t
track us. My best friend, Amy, had also
moved in, creating a “blended family sitcom”
vibe. They provided the support I desperately
needed, but it created an open season with
the press. Stories went wild about how I was
having an affair with my husband’s brother,
which was the furthest thing from the truth.
Sex sells, so a new picture of us together or
him with the kids every few weeks led to a
new story about our “forbidden romance”.
I wasn’t going to let Leo goad me. I’d been
down that road too many times, and it never
ended well. “If I were you, I would care less
about what they have to say and more about
what Beau is saying.”
Our marriage produced three children.
Amelia and Jameson were Irish twins, only
ten months apart, and Beau was our baby. He
was currently just shy of three years old, but
he’d been only ten months old when we’d
left. He barely knew Leo.
Leo took the bait. “What is Beau saying?”
Knowing by now that words could hurt as
much as a physical strike, I used my words to
throw what I thought was the ultimate jab.
“Half the time, he calls Liam his daddy.”
Narrowing his eyes, Leo’s voice was so cold
that I shivered as he asked, “Is he?”
I stood. “I’m done here.”
It wasn’t the first time Leo had questioned
Beau’s paternity, and while I may not have
been perfect, I wasn’t an adulteress. Beau
was, without a doubt, Leo’s son—much as I
was loathe to admit. All three of my children
deserved a better father, and I couldn’t help
feeling like I was to blame. I could have
chosen a better life partner, but I chose Leo.
Now, we all paid the price.
He taunted me as I began to walk out of the
room. “You always were too weak to stand
up and fight.”
Yeah, and whose fault is that?
Pausing, I closed my eyes for a second,
taking a deep breath before I turned around.
Reminding myself that he could no longer
hurt me, I stood tall. “We’ve made our
choices. You chose your job. I chose our
children.”
Leo smirked, and I mentally braced for
impact. He always got this look right before
he tore me apart with his words.
Leaning back in his chair, he fired, “You’re
never going to find what you’re looking for.
You’re not particularly lovable, Natalie.”
 That wasn’t news to me. It had taken me
years to figure it out, but I learned he never
loved me—he loved controlling me.
Not willing to give him the satisfaction, I
counted to ten in my head as I stared him
down. Then, I turned on my heel and walked
out of the room, not stopping until I reached
the sleek black sedan that would take me to
the airport so I could go home.
Watching the palace disappear in the
rearview mirror, I knew I would never return.
This place was my past. My future awaited in
Connecticut.
It was time to start over with my kids and
hope that someday we could find peace.

Back in my safe haven, I had a

heartbreaking conversation with my nine-
year-old daughter and eight-year-old son,
letting them know the divorce was final.
They understood that the only real change
was a piece of paper. They would continue to
live with me, and their father would be
mostly absent.
Amelia was sad, but primarily for me. She
was old enough to remember how nasty it got
behind the closed doors of our apartment
inside the palace. She was protective of me
and her younger brothers, something I was
sure she’d learned from years of watching
her uncle, Liam, do the same.
Jameson was angry. He was a daddy’s boy,
and it hurt that his dad didn’t reciprocate the
same intense feelings of love and loyalty.
Needing an escape from our real lives, I
took the kids on vacation to try and forget,
but the emotional wounds were deep. The
scars left behind would always serve as a
reminder of our past with Leo.
 Amelia and Jameson seemed much older
than their age because of all they were forced
to witness. Their lives would never be truly
normal due to their royal status, but I wanted
them to have an opportunity to be carefree
children. Two weeks in the Caribbean, letting
them run and play seemed to help a bit, but
there was still an underlying sadness.
While my children tried to enjoy the tropical
paradise, I sat in my chair daily, evaluating
how I’d gotten here.
My life had changed without warning one
summer when I was sixteen years old.
Summer growing up meant weeks spent in
the Caribbean, and one day I happened to
meet an incredibly charming young man.
Leo had drawn me in with his surfer-boy
good looks—shaggy blond hair and a toned,
not overly muscular body. We’d spent many
summer nights sneaking around the resort as
we shared stolen, intimate moments. He was
five years older than me—twenty-one at the
time—and seemed so worldly. I was no
match for his charm and charisma.
I didn’t find out who he really was until I’d
made it home. It was thrilling at first, the idea
of dating a prince. He was handsome, and he
wanted me.
When he’d proposed a year later, I’d
initially turned him down. I was seventeen
years old, a senior in high school, and in no
way ready to be a wife, especially in what
promised to be a very public marriage. When
my parents found out, they’d pushed me hard
to reconsider. My father was a self-made man
in the technology sector—the epitome of new
money—and he saw my marriage as an
opportunity to climb into higher social circles
by virtue of his only daughter marrying into
royalty. I cut ties with them a few years into
my marriage, when I realized they’d
sacrificed my well-being for their ambitions.
It was their job as parents to protect me, and
they had failed miserably.
I should have listened to my gut.
I was the product of a generation of girls
who idolized cartoon teenage princesses.
Now I was jaded, wondering where the hell
their parents were while they were wandering
off with much older men. Their parents
seemed about as invested as mine in
protecting their young daughters.
The one thing those cartoon stories didn’t
showcase was what life was like after that
fairytale “I do”. Men in a position of power
felt like they were untouchable, and Leo was
no exception. I could only hope those made-
up princesses fared better than I had.
The only regret I didn’t have about my
marriage was my three beautiful children.
They were my shining light in the darkness,
and I was willing to give up everything to
protect them. They were also the only reason
I couldn’t completely shut the door on this
chapter of my life. I would forever be tied to
my former life because, like it or not, my
oldest son was the future of my ex-husband’s
family—the future of his country, someday
being required to take on the title of King.
My job now was to raise Jameson to be
grounded, compassionate, and kind. To foster
his sweet nature so that he wasn’t just putting
on a show in public. I wanted to ensure that
he was the same person in the spotlight as he
was when no one else was looking.
Liam would take care of the rest with his
intricate knowledge of the monarchy. He was
my rock. I don’t think I could have made it
this far without him.
Speaking of Liam, he’d dropped everything
to support me when I’d fled the country,
stepping up for my kids. Even now, he was
out on the lawn playing catch with Jameson.
We’d learned that throwing the baseball was
Jameson’s coping mechanism, and Liam was
ready to throw with him whenever he asked.
Today, Beau had his soft, squishy ball, and
Liam was throwing to each of them in turn.
The scene seemed so normal. Only, Liam
wasn’t their dad. He tried to fill the role the
best he could, but it was never the same. It
made me think about Leo’s dig after we
signed the papers. What if Liam had been
their father? Would things have been
different if I had met Liam instead of Leo on
that fateful summer vacation?
I was shaken from my stream of what-ifs by
Liam’s cry. “Whoa!”
Instantly on alert, I stood from my chair.
“What?”
Beau answered first, jumping and chanting,
“Ball! Ball! Ball!”
Liam laughed, setting me slightly at ease.
“Our boy, Jameson, threw the ball clear over
the fence.”
 Shaking my head, I sighed. “Well, I guess
we’re done for the day.”
Jameson whined, “Aw, come on, Mom. I
can hop the fence and go get it.”
I looked to which side of the fence it had
gone over before answering, “Let’s not add
trespassing to today’s activities. It’s on
Jaxon’s side. We’ll be able to get it back if
we ask, but you’ve got to get ready for dinner
right now.”
“Fine.” He made a show of sighing with his
whole body. “Make sure to get it back before
Saturday. I’ve got practice!”
“Of course. Now, go inside and wash up.
Take your little brother with you.”
They headed inside, and Liam joined me on
the deck, taking a seat on the chaise and
patting the spot next to him in invitation.
Sinking onto the padded seat, I closed my
eyes in a rare moment of silence. My eyes
still closed, I asked, “Do you think he will
ever let go of his anger? Have my choices
damaged him permanently?”
Liam paused, so I opened my eyes to look at
him.
He rubbed his jaw. “With time, the pain will
fade. For all of you.”
“What if I’m not enough?” Years of being
torn down by Leo would always have me
asking that question.
“You sell yourself short. You always have.
They will grow up secure, knowing you’ve
given them everything,” he promised.
“I hope you’re right.” I sighed.
“If all else fails, he’s gaining quite the arm.
Shocked the hell out of me, clearing the
fence. I couldn’t even see it through the trees.
I can go get him a few extra balls tomorrow.”
I shook my head. “It’s fine. I’d consider it a
loss if it had gone in any other direction.
Jaxon’s a good guy. He’ll give it back.”
 A strange look crossed his face. “Let me go
over there and get it right now. No one will
ever know.”
“I told Jameson no already. I can’t let you
go and do it. I’ll get it back.”
Liam looked unsure, which made zero
sense.
Jaxon Slate had only been our neighbor for
as long as we’d lived in this house, but I’d
known him for years. He was one of the best
professional hockey players in the league—
the star of the hometown team, the
Connecticut Comets.
Ace Moreau was the team’s head coach, and
I was best friends with his daughter, Hannah,
who was my age. They’d moved to Hartford
when we were teenagers, and we made our
debut together. Our close relationship led to
my unofficial adoption into the Comets
family. I had passing interactions with Jaxon
for years as a result of that connection.
 Shrugging it off, I patted Liam’s leg as I
stood. “Don’t stress over it. Let’s go in and
save Amy from the hungry mob.”
As we walked into the house to the chaotic
chatter of my children being herded by Amy
to the table, the ball over the fence was
quickly forgotten.

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 Chapter 2

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 Jaxon

SWEAT RAN INTO MY eyes as I raced to

the puck in the corner. Cal was on defense
and closing in quickly. Beating him there, I
gathered the puck and shot it to Benji, who
was parked in front of the net. Benji hit the
one-timer past the goalie for the score. I
raced over for a quick fist bump as the
whistle blew at center ice.
 “Bring it in!” Coach Ace Moreau called out.
The handful of us participating in the
friendly pickup game gathered at center ice,
taking a knee.
Coach continued, “Great workout today,
guys. You all look like you took your
summer training seriously, so I expect you to
challenge the new recruits coming to training
camp in a few weeks. Show them what being
a Comet looks like, on and off the ice.”
He dismissed us to enjoy our weekend. Next
month would start my tenth year playing
professional hockey, and all eyes were on
me. I was the hottest recruit out of juniors at
eighteen years old, but so far, I’d failed to
reach the top of the mountain. All I wanted
was my name engraved on that holy grail we
called a championship trophy.
This year had to be our year.
We filed into the locker room, and I sat at
my stall, removing my upper gear before
untying my skates. Cal and Benji flanked me
on either side. We entered the league at
different times, in different ways, but they
were my best friends on and off the ice.
Cal bent over to untie his skates but looked
over his shoulder. “So, are we going out
tonight? Last bender before the season?
Wheel some bunnies?”
Benji nodded. “You know it! Jaxon, you
in?”
I sighed. “I’m in. For the drinks, that is. I’ll
be your wingman.”
“You’ve gotta let loose, man.” Cal groaned.
“Just because I’m not interested in being the
most promiscuous Comet, it doesn’t mean I
don’t let loose. Ever heard of discretion?”
“Borrrrrrrrring,” Benji chimed in.
I shrugged. “You want me to come or not?
I’m just as happy to chill at home.”
Benji put his hands up. “All right, all right.
Please come. Break all the beautiful ladies’
hearts when you turn them down, then let us
pick up the pieces. I don’t care if I’m second
choice. Your name is quickly forgotten once I
get them alone.”
“Nice.” I rolled my eyes.
Cal clapped me on the shoulder. “Don’t
worry. Your name might be forgotten, but
they never bother to learn his.”
Benji called out his objection, but I laughed.
That was what I loved about being a part of
a team. We became like brothers, spending
every single day together for nine months of
the year. We knew everything about each
other and always had each other’s backs. But
that didn’t mean we didn’t mercilessly tease
each other every chance we got. That’s what
brothers were for.
Of the three of us, I was the first one on the
team. I’d been drafted at eighteen and thrown
right into the deep end as one of the hottest
prospects in a decade. It was sink or swim
with all the hype surrounding my entry into
the league.
Next came Callum Berg—or Cal, as we
called him. He was a few years older than me
but went to college after his draft, then had a
stint in the minors before getting called up.
He’d been granted the time to grow into his
massive adult frame—not an exaggeration;
he was six-five, two hundred and forty
pounds—and develop his offensive-minded
defensive game before being thrown onto the
professional stage.
Last was Benjamin Mills, our Benji boy.
He’d worked hard as an undrafted free agent
to get his contract with the Comets. He was
on the smaller side but made up for his size
with his speed and skill—something he used
on and off the ice as the Comets’ resident
playboy. Benji’s only type was female; he
wasn’t picky beyond that.
 I finished removing my gear, tucking it into
my locker for the equipment crew. Grabbing
a towel, I headed for the showers, pausing
before going in. “Where are we going, and
what time?”
“10:30 at Spades,” Cal called over.
“Do you need a nap first, grandpa?” Benji
joked.
I scoffed but fired back, “I’d be more
worried about obtaining a fake ID to get in if
I were you, little boy.”
Walking into the shower, I could tell that
tonight was going to be a long night.
Benji was right. I was getting too old for the
nightlife. It had its appeal when I was
younger—as a way to blow off steam and
meet women—but it all seemed so
meaningless now. Women merely wanted a
night with the Jaxon Slate. They didn’t care
about what was under the surface, only what
I could produce on the ice. I was just a story
to tell their friends.
Even though I was done with the random
hookups, I wasn’t in the market for a
relationship either. The team was on the road
almost one hundred days a year. Hockey took
the place of a significant other in my life.
Maybe someday, I’d have the time to commit
to settling down and starting a family, but for
now, hockey was my focus.

Ding dong.
The sound of the doorbell piqued my
interest. The front gate hadn’t buzzed with a
delivery or visitor, so it had to be someone
within the community. Some of my favorite
visitors were the neighborhood kids, who
would drop by to tell me about an exciting
game of their own or how they tried a move
they’d seen me make.
Youth hockey was growing in America,
leading to Americans taking a larger chunk of
the formerly Canadian-dominated presence
in the professional league. The growth was
primarily due to players like me, who were
American-born, being visible and promoting
the youth aspect of the game. I loved being a
role model for any kid who wanted to try
hockey, and I craved hearing their stories—
seeing a fresh love for the game through their
eyes.
Reaching the door, I opened it with a smile,
expecting an excited child. The face that
greeted me on the other side had me closing
my eyes and reopening them to make sure I
wasn’t dreaming.
Standing there, staring up at me with her
chocolate brown eyes, was the woman who’d
held the permanent starring role in my every
fantasy.
Once the air returned to my lungs, I
breathed out, “Natalie.”
Natalie flashed her dazzling smile, and I
could have sworn my heart stopped beating.
“Hi, Jaxon. I’m sorry to bother you, but my
son threw his baseball over your fence earlier
this week. He’s got practice tomorrow, and I
promised him I’d try to get it back. Think
you could help me out?”
Chuckling, I drank in the woman before me.
Natalie Remington, the girl—now woman—
who had been off-limits since Day 1. Not that
her untouchable status kept her from my
mind. As if being infatuated with a married
woman—a princess, no less—wasn’t enough,
Coach kept her under his protection as an
honorary daughter.
To add insult to injury, the universe gave me
the ultimate middle finger when she’d moved
in next door a couple of years ago.
She was so close, but she could never be
mine.
Now, here she stood, stunning as ever in a
simple white sundress, her skin tanned to
perfection. My fingers itched to reach out
and see if her skin was as soft as it looked.
Her face, framed by long blonde hair, was
free of makeup, yet she was still the most
beautiful woman I’d ever laid eyes on.
Beyond that, she was one of the most
genuinely kind people I had ever met.
Natalie was perfect, but I could never have
her. She was in a very high-profile marriage,
with three children, I reminded myself.
She’s not for you, Jaxon.
Realizing I was staring, my eyes snapped
back to hers. “He could have hopped the
fence. I wouldn’t have minded.”
Natalie rolled her eyes, and damn, if that
wasn’t adorable. “Oh, not you, too.”
 I smirked. “Guessing that was a ‘mom said
no’ kind of deal?”
“Something like that.” She flashed me
another small smile.
“Forget I said it. It can be our little secret.” I
held a finger to my lips conspiratorially.
She mouthed, “Thank you.”
God, I could picture that mouth on me. Or
better yet, screaming my name.
Get a grip, Jaxon!
Taking a step back from the doorway, I
made room for her to enter. “Well, come on
in. Let’s go find that ball.” Natalie stepped
inside, and I closed the door behind her.
Pointing towards the glass doors through the
vaulted living room, I added, “We can head
out this way.”
She nodded and walked ahead of me. The
sway of her backside in that dress had me
reminding my cock to calm down. It couldn’t
be embarrassing me in front of the girl that I
liked.
Jesus, the girl that I liked? How old am I?
Thirteen?
As Natalie surveyed the room, I found
myself caring whether she liked my place or
not.
It was modest compared to some players’
homes, and I made enough to afford
someplace bigger or more flashy, but it was
just me here. I spent most of my time at the
rink or on the road, so it was a place to crash
most days. Modest or not, it was still a decent
house for a single guy. Set in a gated
community, the four-bedroom house featured
an open floor plan, a basement I turned into
my man cave, a pool, and a private backyard.
Plus, moving meant not living next to her
anymore.
Natalie looked back and smiled, throwing
over her shoulder, “Love all the white walls.
Just move in?” Then, she winked.
That had me stumbling down the step onto
the patio. Was Natalie Remington flirting
with me? I shook my head to clear it.
No.
I was imagining things.
She was married.
With a capital M.
Not for you, Jaxon.
Joining her outside, Natalie looked around
and spotted the microscopic view I had of her
house. Well, her roof, if we were being
technical. She began heading in that
direction, muttering to herself, “Gotta be
somewhere this way.”
She peeled off to the right side of the fence
on our shared property line, so I opted for the
left, calling out, “I’ll check over here!”
Finding the white ball amongst the green
grass and tree trunks didn’t take long, but I
wasn’t ready to say goodbye yet. Stuffing it
into my shorts pocket, I leaned against the
nearest tree and watched her continue
searching from afar.
I could still remember the day I met her
with crystal clarity. That day had changed my
life.
I heard her before I saw her. The sound of
her laughter caught my attention. It was real
and unfiltered, rising above the music of the
pre-game picnic at the country club. Like a
moth to a flame, I followed the sound until I
reached its source.
Sitting with Coach’s youngest daughter,
Hannah, was this smiling, laughing beauty
bouncing a baby in her arms.
Dressed casually in a plain white T-shirt
and jeans shorts, was the most classically
beautiful girl I’d ever seen, giving off a total
girl-next-door vibe. Her hair was the color of
champagne, and her warm brown eyes were
the perfect compliment. Her pure joy was so
infectious that I found myself smiling,
drawing ever closer.
I had no idea who she was, but I knew I
would never be the same.
Hannah noticed me and called out, “Jaxon!
Over here!”
Perfect. Now, I could find out who her
companion was.
Turning on the charm, I addressed them,
“Hello, ladies.”
Hannah turned to her friend. “Natalie, this
is Jaxon Slate. We just picked him up in the
draft.”
The girl, Natalie, turned her brilliant smile
on me, continuing to bounce the baby, whose
raven black hair was a stark contrast to her
own golden mane. “So nice to meet you,
Jaxon.”
I was so drawn to her that I couldn’t stop
myself from coming closer, tickling the baby’s
toes. “And who do we have here?”
 That’s when her smile went to the next level.
She positively beamed. “This is Amelia.”
Looking into her eyes, I could tell she was
young. Easily close to my age, and I had just
turned eighteen. Silently, I prayed, “Please,
be the nanny.”
Hoping to get the answer I’d prayed for, I
asked, “Which player does she belong to?”
She laughed again, and I had to bite back a
groan at the sound. “Oh, no! She’s mine.”
My heart sank, and that’s when I caught the
flash of the diamond on her finger. She not
only had a baby, but she was either engaged
or married. Some lucky bastard had gotten to
this beautiful girl first. Of course, they had.
That was just my luck. For years, my days
were spent in cold ice rinks as I chased the
ultimate reward of a professional hockey
contract. That meant I didn’t have any spare
time for girls.
 Hannah was oblivious to my internal
distress and added, “Natalie and I went to
school together.”
The wheels started turning in my head. That
meant she was nineteen or twenty at the
oldest, and she already had a man and a
baby. She seemed so damn happy, and it
killed me.
“So, where do you come to us from,
Jaxon?” Natalie asked.
I snapped my attention to her. “Minnesota,
ma’am.”
She giggled. “I think that’s my first
‘ma’am’. Not quite ready for that.”
“My apologies. Force of habit.”
“Well, you can tell your mama that you have
good manners. So, Minnesota. American-
born then?” she asked.
“State of Hockey, born and raised,” I
confirmed.
 Natalie smiled again. I’d say just about
anything to keep her smiling. “It must be
hard to be so far from home. If you’re just
drafted, that would make you . . .”
“Eighteen,” I finished for her.
Hannah leaned over. “Too bad you’re going
home soon, Nat. We could have some fun
with a player younger than us. I’m so over
being the Comets’ unofficial little sister.”
Snapping to attention, I asked, “And where
is home?”
Natalie stroked the baby’s soft hair and
tucked her into her shoulder. “Home will
always be Hartford, but these days I live in
Europe.”
She was very young and already married, so
I ventured a guess, “Military?”
Natalie bit her lip, and damn, if that didn’t
do things to my insides. “Not exactly.”
“Jaxon!” I heard the call over my shoulder
and glanced back to find a group of older
players gathered by the pool, beckoning me
over.
Turning back to the ladies, I excused myself.
“I guess that’s my cue. It was nice to meet
you, Natalie. Safe travels back home if I don’t
see you again.”
Natalie smiled again, and I took my leave,
heading toward the group of players likely
ready to haze the new guy at his first team
party.
Ty Stephens, our captain, greeted me. “Can
I get you a Shirley Temple, rookie?”
The guys all laughed, so I decided to roll
with it. “Extra cherries. Thanks, Ty.”
That earned me a few back claps from some
of the other guys.
Grabbing a seat at the high-top table, my
eyes continued to stray across the patio to
where I’d left Natalie and Hannah. I felt my
blood pressure rising as an average-height,
blond, preppy-looking man walked up to the
girls, taking baby Amelia into his arms. I
didn’t know this guy, but I already hated him.
This guy—who looked like the poster boy
for those frat boy assholes spending their
summers in the Hamptons or at the Cape—
was way too old for her. He looked like he
was coasting on a career his daddy built,
never having seen a hard day’s work in his
life. Looking at that seemingly perfect blond
couple, the black hair on the baby seemed
out of place, like she couldn’t be theirs.
She looked like she could be mine.
Holy shit, where did that thought come
from?
I was eighteen and barely knew how to do
my own laundry. Maybe I’d been hit in the
head too many times. I’d better get my head
checked because these thoughts were not
normal.
Ty set my drink on the table and took the
seat next to me. Following the direction of my
gaze, he noted, “I see you’ve met our
resident princess.”
My head whipped around so fast to stare at
him that I swear I heard a pop. “What?”
He nodded to the small group’s canopy.
“Natalie.”
My eyes bugged out of my head. “She’s a
princess?”
“Yep.”
“But she’s so normal.” I was stunned.
“She married into it.”
“She’s so young.” Now, I was in denial.
“She’s the same age as Hannah, so she
might as well still be a kid. Coach treats her
like his fourth daughter. Can’t stand her
husband, though. Total douchebag, but I
guess it doesn’t matter when someday you’ll
be a king.”
I felt my heart twist inside my chest. Of
course, the most amazing girls always ended
up with jerks.
 The voice that had captivated me almost ten
years ago broke me out of my mental
flashback. “He’s going to be so upset if I
don’t find it.”
Pushing off the tree, I pulled the ball from
my pocket. Thankfully, her back was turned
so she wouldn’t realize I’d had it the whole
time as I called out, “Found it!”
Spinning around, Natalie flashed me that
dazzling smile that still had the same impact
on me after all these years. “Thank goodness!
I owe you one.”
“He must have a great arm to make it this
far over the fence.” I tossed it up and down,
catching it easily as I spoke.
A shadow passed over her eyes. “He’s been
throwing quite a lot lately. He’s still upset
about the divorce.”
And just like that, my world stopped.
OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 3

OceanofPDF.com
 Jaxon

DIVORCE .
There’s no way I’d heard that right. I
reached out to hand the ball over in an
attempt to get a better look at her left hand.
No ring.
My heart was soaring, but I tried to throw
on a sympathetic face. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m not,” she countered.
 There were rumblings that her situation
hadn’t been good for a while, and then she’d
come back home, where she’d stayed for the
past couple of years—her husband notably
absent. Living next door, I would’ve been a
fool not to notice, but I never imagined she’d
ever become available. Guys like her ex were
the type that didn’t let go without a fight.
Natalie certainly didn’t seem broken up
about it. So, without thinking, I blurted out,
“Can I get you a drink?”
A slight smile graced her lips. “You know, a
drink sounds amazing.”
Heading back toward the house, she fell into
step beside me. It was almost as if she
belonged there, right by my side.
Once inside, I walked to the kitchen, opened
the fridge, and threw over my shoulder,
“What can I get you?”
Natalie walked up right behind me, so close
that I could feel her breath on my ear.
“Something strong, please.”
I closed my eyes and swallowed. She was
killing me. Turning around, I found us
practically nose to nose. Natalie smelled like
the beach, the scents of coconut and
pineapple wafting off her exposed skin. We’d
never been this close, and I would have given
anything to wrap my arms around her right
now.
My voice was low and raspy, sounding
strange to my own ears, as I offered, “I think
I have some scotch around here somewhere.”
Natalie stepped back, and I shivered as cool
air rushed between us. Heading for the
couch, she didn’t wait for an invitation before
sitting and replying, “Scotch would be
great.”
Grabbing two lowball glasses, I threw a few
ice cubes in each before pouring two fingers
of scotch. Walking over to where she sat,
handing her one, I chose to sit in the lounge
chair perpendicular to the couch she
occupied.
Getting too close to her was dangerous.
Something was changing. I could feel it.
Raising the glass to her lips and taking a sip,
Natalie moaned. “Oh, God.”
If that wasn’t enough to get me hard, the
way her tongue darted out to catch an errant
drop on her lips did the trick.
Shifting in my seat, my voice was strained
as I raised my glass. “Cheers.”
Her eyes met mine, then she flushed.
“Ohmigosh, I’m so rude. I got lost in the fact
that I haven’t had a real drink like this in so
long.”
Not wanting to push, I simply asked, “Oh?”
She sighed. “You don’t want to hear my sob
story. I don’t get to complain.”
“We’ve known each other a long time. If
you need to vent, I’m here.”
 That got a small smile from Natalie. “I’m
fine. Really. I just wasn’t allowed to imbibe
beyond the occasional glass of wine or
champagne.”
“Allowed . . .” I repeated. What kind of
prison was she living in?
“It’s fine.” She shrugged.
“Really?” How could she be all right with
what sounded like a controlling situation?
Her eyes snapped to mine. “No, not really,
but it’s over now.”
“How do you feel about that?” I was
genuinely curious.
Setting her glass on the coffee table, Natalie
stood and moved to the end of the couch next
to my chair. Looking up at me with those big
brown eyes, she asked, “Between friends?” I
nodded, so she continued, “When things got
bad, I shut down. I refused to feel anything in
order to protect myself. I’ve been living in a
state of numbness for years.”
 As she quickly looked away after that
admission, I couldn’t help but stare at how
her long black lashes fanned against her
cheeks. Someone had stolen the spark that
drew me to her all those years ago. It hurt my
heart to know her spirit had been broken, and
her only defense mechanism was to shut
herself off from all emotion to survive.
When I couldn’t stand the silence a moment
longer, I started, “Natalie—”
Looking back at me, she smirked right
before she reached over and placed her hand
on my thigh. I could feel the heat from her
palm seeping through my khaki shorts, and
my cock began to swell in response. This was
the first time we’d ever touched, and she was
mere inches away from the undeniable proof
of how desperately I wanted her.
Rationally, I knew I had to put a stop to this,
so I started to pull away, but she gripped my
thigh, and I couldn’t hold back the groan that
slipped past my lips.
Licking her lips, Natalie uttered words so
low that I had to lean closer to hear them.
“Jaxon. I want to feel something again, but
I’m not sure how.”
I swallowed. Hard. Was she coming on to
me?
Giving myself a minute to process what was
unfolding before me, I broke my silence.
“Tell me what you want, Natalie.”
The air around us was charged. I could feel
something was going to happen, but I wasn’t
sure what. Nervously, she twisted her hair in
one hand. “I want you to do me a favor.”
Against my better judgment, I said, “I’m
listening.”
Natalie bit her lower lip, and I was tempted
to use it as my own personal chew toy. Her
eyes flared mere seconds before she
whispered, “Take me to bed?”
 Even if it felt like this was where the
conversation was headed, I would never be
fully prepared to hear those words—words
I’d only ever heard in my fantasies.
As I struggled to process the clash between
reality and fantasy, she must have taken my
silence for an answer, because her entire
demeanor changed.
Letting go of my leg, Natalie stood, flushing
from head to toe as she backed away. Then
the rambling began. “Oh, God. Please forget
I said that. I don’t know what came over me.
I’m so sorry. I did not come here for this, I
swear. I’ve got to go.”
Panic set in. She was leaving?
Bolting out of my chair, I stepped toward
her, gently gripping her wrist as she was
about to flee. Turning back, her dark eyes
pleaded with me. As she opened her mouth to
speak again, I put a finger to her lips,
silencing her.
 I searched her eyes before daring to ask,
“Why me?”
Shut up, Jaxon. Who cares why you? This is
everything you’ve always wanted.
Removing my finger from her lips, she
swallowed before responding, “I don’t know
if this is even going to work. Maybe I’m
broken forever. But I thought—” She took a
deep breath, her chest expanding, drawing
my attention to her pert breasts. “I thought
you might be the only person who wouldn’t
tell anyone. I know I’m asking too much.
We’re friends, and this is crossing a major
line. I’m not looking for anything other than
just once. To see if it can jump-start me back
into the land of the living.” Natalie took a
shaky breath before asking, “Will you help
me?”
Moving my free hand into her hair, I cupped
her head gently. “Are you sure? Maybe it
hasn’t been long enough. You might need
more time.”
Natalie leaned into my hand, begging on a
whisper, “Please?”
“Just once?” I searched her eyes for any
sign of hesitation. If I saw a single trace, I
would walk away—it would kill me, but I’d
do it.
She nodded. “Just once. No strings.”
How could I say no to the woman I’d
dreamt of for a decade? She was here,
begging me to take her, to make her feel. This
might be my only chance. I couldn’t dare tell
her how I felt about her—she would spook
for sure—so I had to take this opportunity to
show her. Even if it was only this once.
“One condition,” I stated. Natalie stared up
at me, her brown eyes seemingly staring into
my soul. “If at any point you want to stop,
say the word.”
 She ran a hand up my chest, and I closed my
eyes at the contact. When the light brush of
her lips grazed against mine, my eyes popped
open.
A shy smile graced her kissable lips. “All
right.”
Running a thumb over her lower lip, I held
her stare. “You are so beautiful.”
Blushing, she broke my gaze. “No.”
“No?” Was this night over before it even
began?
I saw the shift when she met my eye, a
devilish gleam sparkling in hers. “I don’t
want you to make love to me, Jaxon. I want
you to fuck me. Or do I need to go
somewhere else?”
Growling, moments before gripping her
hips, I brought her body flush against mine.
She gasped, feeling my erection pressed
against her, as I whispered in her ear, “Say
the word ‘fuck’ again, and I won’t be held
responsible for what happens next.”
“I was wondering when the sexy Jaxon was
going to show up,” she teased as I felt her
breasts brush against my chest with each
rapid breath she took.
“You think I’m sexy?” A corner of my lips
quirked up.
Her eyes darkened with lust. “Just shut up
and kiss me.”
How could I resist?
Giving in to everything I’d ever dreamed, I
slowly lowered my head to hers, savoring the
taste of her lips against mine. My brain was
working overtime, trying to memorize every
single moment. If this was going to happen
once, I needed to be able to replay it over and
over in my mind for the rest of my life.
Going slowly went out the window the
second she ran her hands into my hair,
gripped two handfuls, and took complete
control of the kiss, demanding entry. Opening
for her, I let her tongue sweep into my mouth
before I began to battle back with my own,
deepening the kiss. Holding her in my arms
and kissing her rocked me to the core.
Natalie rubbed her body against mine,
trying to get closer. Using my hands on her
hips, I pushed her back a step, putting space
between us. Breaking the kiss, she batted her
eyelashes at me.
I nipped at her lower lip. “I’m trying really
hard to control myself here, Natalie. Keep
rubbing against me like that, and I won’t be
able to.”
That wicked gleam was back in her eyes,
and she closed the distance between us,
grabbing my ass to bring us even closer. “I
don’t want you controlled. I want you to fuck
me. Hard.”
She was egging me on. If that’s how she
wanted to play, that’s how we’d play.
 My hands moved six inches from her hips to
her ass, gripping as I lifted her, feeling her
heels digging into my lower back as she
wrapped her legs around me. With her dress
fanned around her thighs in this position, I
could feel the heat coming from her center as
she ground against my rock-hard dick.
“Fuck yes,” she whispered against my
mouth.
Taking her mouth hungrily, I gave in to her
demands as she rocked against my pelvis.
Her hands were still tangled in my hair,
gripping hard, the bite of pain heightening
the pleasure coursing through my veins.
Moving my mouth, I peppered hot, open-
mouthed kisses down her throat to her
collarbone. Her moans were barely
permeating the haze of lust gripping my
body.
Taking two steps backward, the back of my
knees hit the couch, and I sat, allowing her to
straddle me. With my hands now free, they
roamed her body, up her hips, to the indent of
her waist until I reached her breasts. She
arched into the touch as I gently tested their
weight, just enough to fill my palms. I
groaned when I realized she wasn’t wearing a
bra beneath the thin white cotton, her nipples
pebbling beneath my hands.
Lowering my head, I sucked a nipple into
my mouth through the thin material, using
the friction to drive her wild. Natalie held
onto my shoulders, nails digging in hard as
her head lolled back. I tugged a nipple
between my teeth, and she ground down even
harder, calling out, “Oh, God!”
Torn between living here forever, feasting
on her irresistible breasts, and getting her
upstairs before I embarrassed myself like a
teenager dry-humping on the couch, I slowly
drew on the nipple before releasing it,
causing her to whimper at the loss of contact.
Leaning her forehead against mine, the puffs
of air from her labored breathing fanned my
face. Her hair curtained us, so I reached up,
tucking the golden locks behind her ears to
stare at her face. Her chocolate brown eyes
had changed from milk chocolate to dark,
shadowed with lust. The wetness between her
thighs soaked through her panties and onto
my shorts.
Wanting more, and needing to know that she
did too, I dared to ask, “Upstairs?”
Natalie nodded, her eyes flaring. Afraid that
one or both of us would wake up from this
dream if I broke body contact, I stood,
keeping her in my arms as I carried her up
the stairs. The second we hit the top landing,
I pinned her against the wall.
The taste of her mouth was intoxicating,
traces of mint mixed with the scotch still
lingering. Sucking her tongue into my mouth,
I moved one hand between our bodies, under
her skirt, and shoved her panties aside. My
fingers found her drenched beneath, and I
nearly growled, knowing I did this to her.
She wanted this as much as I did.
Lightly circling her clit, her hips began
searching for firmer contact. I held back,
teasing.
She tore her mouth from mine, breathlessly
begging, “Please, Jaxon.”
My mouth moved along her jaw. “Tell me
what you want, Natalie.”
She squirmed against my hand. “You.”
I smiled against her skin. “No, Natalie. Tell
me exactly what you want.”
She made a frustrated sound, and I looked
up at her, noting her flushed neck and face.
Was she really embarrassed when I had her
this vulnerable? Withdrawing my hand
enough for her to realize I meant business, I
pressed again, “I need you to tell me what
you want.”
 Closing her eyes, Natalie groaned. “I want
you to make me come.”
Pure pleasure shot straight down my dick. I
would be replaying those words on repeat for
the rest of my life. Flashing her a wolfish
smile, my hand returned to her slickness.
“With pleasure.”
As a reward for how obviously hard it was
for her to tell me what she wanted, I didn’t
tease her. I rubbed her clit with my thumb,
slipping one finger inside her. As she writhed
against me, I added a second finger, pumping
in and out, fucking her hard with my hand.
She threw her head back against the wall,
breathing, “Yes, Jaxon!”
A few more pumps, and I felt her thighs
begin to shake. She was close. It wasn’t
enough to just feel her come apart. I wanted
all of her. I stilled my hand right as she was
on the edge.
 Her eyes snapped open to look at me,
silently begging, as she whimpered, “Please.”
“Eyes on me. I want to watch you come for
me.”
Natalie swallowed but nodded, never
breaking my gaze as I went back to work.
Curling my fingers inside her, I pressed down
on her clit with my thumb, allowing her the
perfect pressure to shatter as she bucked her
hips against my hand. I watched her mouth
open in a silent scream as she convulsed
around my fingers, flooding them with her
release.
Holding her against the wall, I waited until
her breathing slowed before removing my
hand and carrying her limp form the rest of
the way to my bedroom.
Setting her down gently on the floor, I made
sure that her shaking legs were stable enough
to hold her up before reaching for the hem of
her dress and pulling it off over her head. She
was laid almost completely bare for me, so I
took a minute to drink her in fully.
Her rose-colored nipples stood out against
the tan of her skin, causing me to groan,
realizing she’d only achieve a tan there
topless—the mental image was enough to
drive me wild. Continuing my perusal down
her body, I frowned when I realized I could
count each of her ribs as I scanned down to
the nude bikini panties covering the last bit
of her that was hidden from my view.
Seeing the self-consciousness enter her
eyes, I realized she’d misunderstood my
frown.
Wrapping both arms around her midsection,
she rushed to explain, “I know I don’t look
like other girls you’ve been with. There are
changes that come with becoming a mom.”
Gently prying her hands away, I shook my
head. “You’re stunning just as you are.”
 To emphasize my point, I ran my hands
down her sides before tracing with my
fingertips the almost invisible silver lines
scattered across her hips and lower abdomen.
There was the tiniest hint of loose skin above
the waistband of her panties and cellulite on
her thighs—proof that she’d carried life
inside her body.
None of that mattered to me. Natalie was
beautiful inside and out—a few
imperfections only made her more endearing.
She was human like the rest of us, no matter
how much I’d built her up in my mind.
Flushing again, she reached out to the hem
of my T-shirt, but I stopped her hands. She
looked up, confused, so I shook my head.
“I’m not done with you yet.”
Natalie’s eyes widened. “I’m good. It’s your
turn.”
“This is about you, not me.” Holding firm, I
had every intention of worshiping her body
fully before I allowed myself release.
Shyly she replied, “I want to see you.”
How could I say no to that?
Licking my lips, I nodded, hissing as her
small hands brushed against my abs as she
raised the shirt up and over my chest.
Dropping it on the floor, she stared at me for
a minute before reaching out and skimming
her fingers down my chest to the waistband
of my shorts.
“Wow, you grew up,” Natalie breathed out.
I couldn’t contain the chuckle that escaped
past my lips. I’d put on about thirty pounds
of muscle since I was drafted. If I’d known
that Natalie would appreciate it so much, I
would have doubled my efforts.
Closing the distance between us, I walked
her backward until her knees bumped into the
mattress. Sitting, she scooched back,
centering herself in the middle of my massive
king-sized bed. Kicking off my shoes, I
joined her, taking her mouth and lowering
her to her back as I hovered over her body.
It didn’t take long before she was worked
into a frenzy again from my deep kisses,
straining against me. Leaving her mouth, I
moved down her body, giving attention to
both of her breasts in turn, before moving
lower, pausing to kiss each rib I found
protruding. It pained me to know that
something drove her to this extreme. She
hadn’t always been this painfully thin, but I
pushed those thoughts aside when she
breathed my name, bringing me back to the
present.
Lower I went until I reached the elastic
waistband of her panties. Hooking my
thumbs inside, I took my time in dragging
them down her legs. When she kicked them
off, I allowed myself a moment to appreciate
the fully naked dream laid before me.
 She was gorgeous, and for tonight, she was
all mine. Raking my gaze from the top of her
head to the tips of her toes, I noted the thatch
of dark hair at the juncture of her thighs,
exposing the secret that she wasn’t a natural
blonde.
A rush of possession flowed through me,
knowing I now held this intimate knowledge
of her. Starting at her knee, I teased kisses up
her thighs until I was situated between them.
Her pretty pussy was still soaked from her
earlier orgasm, pink and glistening, and my
cock was throbbing at the prospect of tasting
her. Spreading her thighs wide for greater
access, Natalie raised up on her elbows.
Smiling against her flesh, it pleased me that
she liked to watch.
That was, until I heard her call out,
panicked, “Wait!”
Closing my eyes, I mentally prepared for the
cold shower that would be required to walk
away from her now. Daring to look up at her,
I kept my voice calm. “Do you want to
stop?”
Natalie was wide-eyed. “What are you
doing?”
Looking at her waiting pussy, then back up
to her face, I teased, “I made a bet with
myself that you’d taste sweeter here than
anywhere else I’ve already sampled.” She
looked concerned, so I dropped the act,
asking seriously, “Is this not all right?”
Biting her lip, she blushed yet again.
Damn, I’d do just about anything to keep
her blushing. It was the most arousing thing I
had ever seen on a woman. I was used to
women acting in the bedroom to make me
feel like a man, but her reactions were so
authentic. It was sexy as hell.
She paused. “I just . . . I mean . . . I’ve never
. . .”
Holy shit.
 “Never?” I asked, almost in disbelief. When
she shook her head, I was filled with an
emotion I’d never felt before in bed—anger.
Selfish bastard.
He’d had the woman of my dreams all these
years and never worshiped her properly?
What kind of man didn’t take care of his
woman before seeing to his own needs?
No. He didn’t belong here.
A primal sense of satisfaction filled me
when I realized I’d be the first to put my
mouth on her—claiming her in a way never
done before.
Mine.
I looked up at her. “May I?”
Covering her face with both hands, she
nodded.
Taking my time, I lowered my head and
breathed in her scent. I could hear the hitch
in her breathing as she waited, unsure of
what I’d do next. Having her completely at
my mercy, I took a slow, long lick, ending
with a little flick on her clit.
Her hips bucked against my face, and she let
out a little squeal. Humming against her in
response, the vibrations against her sensitive
flesh elicited a moan from her lips. If I was
going to be the first to love her with my
mouth, I was going to take my time. I wanted
her to feel me here for days, to flush from
head to toe at the memory.
Teasing little circles around her clit, I smiled
against her when she raised her hips, trying
desperately to force my mouth where she
needed it. The tangy taste of her flooded my
mouth, and I was instantly addicted. I began
alternating quick flicks with slow long
strokes, getting her right on the edge before
slowing down again. Natalie was actively
riding my face, seeking release, so I reached
under her ass, lifting her hips to get a better
angle.
 Natalie was writhing against the bed,
against my face, begging, “Jaxon, I need . . .
I want . . .”
Knowing what she wanted, I gave it to her
as I began my relentless assault, back and
forth, faster and faster, until I felt her thighs
lock tightly against my head before she came
all over my tongue, screaming my name. My
cock was throbbing, begging for its turn as it
strained against the fly of my shorts.
Kissing my way up her body, slowly trailing
my fingers along her skin, she arched into
each touch. She was so responsive, her
reactions so unfiltered, that all I wanted to do
was bring her to climax again and again.
Reaching her mouth, I kissed her deeply,
allowing her to taste herself on my tongue.
She moaned as she pressed her body against
mine.
Pulling back, I gazed down at the goddess in
my bed.
 Her eyes were heavy, pupils dilated with
desire. Dazed, she asked, “What was that?”
Smiling, I teased, “I was in the mood for
dessert.”
Natalie’s eyes went wide—I’d shocked her.
Stammering, she asked, “Th-that’s what they
call it?”
I drew little circles on her collarbone with
my fingers, raising goosebumps along the
way. “With a pussy as sweet as yours?
Absolutely. I think I won that bet.”
Her breath hitched, and I found myself
smirking. Clearly, no one had ever talked to
her like this. Judging from the way her eyes
darkened and her pulse beat faster at the base
of her throat, it was turning her on. The way
that she tiptoed around asking for what she
wanted in bed was adorable. I now took it as
a personal challenge to get her to express
herself freely.
 “Tell me what you want, Natalie,” I growled
in her ear.
She groaned, frustrated. “Why do you keep
asking me that?”
Pushing the hair away from her face, I
cupped her cheek. “I need you to say the
words. I will give you anything you want, so
long as you ask me. Anything.”
I prayed she heard how I poured meaning
into the emphasis on that statement. I would
give this woman the world if she asked me
for it.
Withdrawing slightly, Natalie searched my
face. “I want to feel you inside me.”
Thank God.
Reaching over to my nightstand to pull out a
condom, I had one in my grasp when I felt
her hand on my arm. Looking back at her,
there was an unreadable emotion on her face.
Timidly, she asked, “Do you have an
unopened box?”
 There was something there, but I couldn’t
figure out what. Maybe a hint of fear, but not
of me. Willing to do anything to erase
whatever was scaring her, I nodded. “Yeah.”
Natalie held her hand out. “Can I have it?”
Raising an eyebrow, I got up, grabbing a
fresh, unopened box from a bathroom drawer
before returning and handing it to her.
Inspecting it, she broke the seal before
ripping off one packet and passing it to me.
“Thank you.”
I rolled that around in my brain for half a
second. She was thanking me for letting her
open a new box of condoms?
There was way too much to unpack with
this woman, and I wondered if I’d ever get
the chance to see what made her tick. Before
I could ponder what happened to her to
create this extreme level of distrust, my brain
short-circuited when she undid my shorts,
reaching inside and gripping my dick firmly.
 Groaning, I lowered my forehead to hers.
“Natalie, I’m going to need you to stop.”
Pulling away, she stared at me, that hint of
fear creeping back into her eyes. “I’m so
sorry. Do you not like it?”
She seemed spooked, so I rushed, “Baby,
no. I like it way too much. I want to come
buried deep inside you, and if you keep
touching me like that, I can’t promise I’ll
make it.”
That was the moment she realized the effect
she had on me. I could sense the change in
her—the boldness that overtook the shyness
holding her back to this point.
Natalie got on her knees between my legs,
tugging my shorts down my legs, leaving me
only in my boxer briefs, which she removed
next. As she took a moment to stare now that
she had me fully naked, I was thankful for
every sweaty day in the gym and on the ice
carving my muscles.
 Natalie licked her lips, and I could see what
she was thinking, so I sat up, flipping her so
that she was beneath me, growling, “Don’t
even think about it.”
Reaching over to grab her hand-selected
choice of condom, I ripped it open before
rolling it on. Her eyes flared as I settled back
between her thighs, the tip of me sliding
through her slick and swollen flesh before
teasing her entrance.
She arched, trying to take me inside. I
kissed her hot and hungrily before she
begged breathlessly, “Now, Jaxon.”
White-hot pleasure hit me full force as I
slowly sank into her tight heat. The sensation
was heightened by watching her close her
eyes, head back, mouth open, lost in her own
pleasure at our joining. Kissing a path down
her throat, I prayed I’d be able to last more
than a minute with how amazing it felt to be
inside her. I knew I was a goner as soon as I
started to move.
Raising her hips, Natalie desperately tried to
gain friction. Taking both her wrists in one
hand, I raised them above her head, holding
them there as I began with slow, hard thrusts.
She strained against me, her moaning only
serving to spur me on. I could tell she wanted
it hard and fast, but I wanted this to last
forever, so I held back, keeping a steady
pace, drawing out our mutual pleasure.
Her legs linked around my hips, trying to
urge me to change pace. My control began to
fray, and I wanted to throw her over the edge
once more before I sought my release. Rising
up on my knees, I wanted a full view of her
while I fucked her to remind myself that this
was real.
Gripping her hips, I pumped harder as she
keened against me, shamelessly seeking her
release. The sight of her writhing before me
threatened to throw me over the edge as I
began to feel the intense pleasure building in
my balls, tightening. If I wanted her to come
first, it had to be soon, so I reached between
our bodies, rubbing her clit furiously as I
maintained my punishing pace between her
thighs.
Natalie came apart beneath me, screaming,
her release so unfiltered that no matter how
hard I tried to stave it off, I was lost to the
orgasm ripped from my body. Losing myself
in her, I groaned as I came, pumping harder,
trying to draw this moment out forever, not
wanting this to end. Collapsing next to her, I
pulled her close as our erratic breathing filled
the room.
Looking at her, I found her eyes closed as
she was peacefully tucked into my side. If I
wasn’t already obsessed with her, the sight of
her sated by my hand would have done it.
Getting a real taste of her only cemented
what I’d always known—she belonged here,
with me.
As my mind raced, desperately trying to
work out how to get more than one night, her
eyes opened, a soft smile gracing her lips. I
would never understand how she was always
able to steal the breath from my lungs with a
single look.
Her breathing was still ragged as she spoke
in choppy fragments. “Three. Orgasms.
Really?”
I teased her. “You said you wanted to feel.”
She laughed in short bursts. “Touché.”
Her eyes closed again, so I stroked her hair
until I heard her breathing deepen. There was
something so comforting about holding her
close that I fell asleep right alongside her,
falling into dreams of what it would be like
to have her here every day.
OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 4

OceanofPDF.com
 Natalie

BUZZZZZZZ. BUZZ BUZZZZZZZ.

Slowly, breaking out of the haze of a deep
sleep, I stretched, reaching over to stop the
alarm on my phone. When I met nothing but
the mattress, I realized I wasn’t in my own
bed. Sitting bolt upright, taking in the
darkened room, I felt movement next to me.
Jumping, I realized I was as naked as the
man in bed next to me.
Oh my God. What have I done?
Memories flooded back.
Jaxon’s mouth on me intimately, in a way
I’d only ever read about before.
His body, hard where I was soft, straining
against mine.
Three different orgasms in three different
ways.
Easing my way out of bed, I felt the pleasant
soreness between my thighs. I had no idea
what came over me earlier when I’d
practically begged Jaxon to sleep with me.
Dropping to the floor, I crawled around,
searching for my clothes. Instead, I found
Jaxon’s phone buzzing with texts coming in
and repeated missed calls, the lock screen
lighting up the floor. I knew I shouldn’t, but I
was too curious not to look.
 Cal: Where are you?

Benji: Don’t tell me you bailed on us!

You’re supposed to be our chick bait.

Heat flooded my cheeks. I knew his

teammates, and it was obvious from their
messages that I was just another conquest.
That’s what professional athletes did. They
slept around.
You came on to him, Natalie.
I knew he had experience. That’s why I
made the snap decision to proposition him. It
had felt different, special even, but that must
have been all in my head. God, he probably
had women throwing themselves at him all
the time, and I was no better than the puck
bunnies who trolled the rink.
I am such an idiot.
Grabbing my dress and panties, I threw
them on and fled the room. Tiptoeing down
the stairs, afraid of waking Jaxon, I snatched
Jameson’s baseball off the coffee table before
leaving the house, silently latching the door
behind me.
Walking back to my house, I could feel him
with every step I took.
I would never be able to face him again,
having made a total fool of myself. What was
I thinking asking an acquaintance I saw
regularly for a one-night stand? Of course it
was going to end in disaster.
Mentally, I berated myself. As a mother of
three, I couldn’t be casually sleeping around.
I didn’t have the luxury of making mistakes
like this, so I swore to myself that I would
take this secret to my grave. Only the two
people involved could ever know.
How long had I been asleep? I hadn’t
bothered to bring my phone next door—
expecting a quick trip—so I had no idea what
time it was. I knew it was dark, which meant
my absence was likely noted by everyone at
home. I’d been home alone when I’d
ventured out, so no one would know where
I’d gone, unable to reach me by phone.
Making it back to the house, I took a
moment to check my appearance. Running
fingers through my hair, I smoothed my
dress, rumpled from hours on the floor.
Taking a deep breath, I turned the knob of the
front door. There was no chance that Amy
and Liam weren’t waiting for me on the other
side.
As expected, Liam was camped out in the
formal living room off the foyer. Closing the
door, I mentally braced for the lecture as he
stood, almost shouting, “Where the hell have
you been?!”
Amy’s voice floated down the hall. “Is she
back?”
By the time she made it to where we stood, I
managed to force out, “I’m so sorry. I lost
track of time.”
That wasn’t enough for Liam—the scowl he
used on everyone except the kids was present
on his face. “No. I had to put your children to
bed tonight. They didn’t know where you
were, and I couldn’t tell them. Because you
left your phone here!”
He used his words to hit me where it hurt,
knowing full well that I would die before
upsetting my children.
If Liam was the bad cop, Amy came in as
the good cop. You’d never expect a redhead
to be so rational, but Amy was always calm
and in control.
She stepped in, her tone understanding.
“Nat, we were just worried about you. Where
did you go?”
Suddenly remembering half of my alibi, I
presented the ball. “Got the ball back.”
“That took hours?” Liam wasn’t convinced.
Why should he be?
 Sighing, I responded, “No. I decided to take
a long walk. There isn’t much space to clear
my head around here. I needed a minute.”
Liam raked his fingers through his jet-black
hair. “You’re dealing with a lot right now—I
get it. Next time, let us know where you are.
Or at least take your phone, okay?”
Nodding, I gave the appearance of being
sufficiently chastised. “I’m sorry. It won’t
happen again.”
“If that’s settled, I’m going to go for a
swim,” he said.
“Go. I’m going to go to bed. Thank you for
looking out for me.”
A corner of his lips quirked up, the closest
thing he ever did to a smile. “Always, little
sis.”
As he left, I walked to the kitchen for some
water. Apparently, mind-blowing sex made
you dehydrated. Who knew?
 Amy trailed behind me, taking a seat at the
kitchen island as I opened the fridge. Taking
a long pull from a bottle of water, I turned
around. She was eyeing me closely, and I
could tell she was measuring her words
carefully. We’d been friends our whole lives.
If anyone could see right through me, it was
her.
Finally, she spoke, “You know I love you,
right?”
I swallowed. “Yeah . . .”
“Liam may have bought that story, but can I
add some advice?” She took my shaky nod as
enough of an answer, so she continued, “Next
time, take a shower before coming home. I
can smell the sex and cologne from over
here.”
Heat flooded my face, and I gripped the
edge of the counter, needing support as my
knees buckled. “Oh my God.”
 Lowering her voice, she added, “I’m not
here to judge. Your life is none of my
business. I don’t want to know where you
were or who you were with, but you need to
be careful. You know the press is waiting for
you to make a wrong move.”
“I made a mistake,” I whispered. “I don’t
how it happened, but I know it can never
happen again. Please don’t tell Liam.”
There was compassion in Amy’s emerald
green eyes—we’d been friends for over
twenty years, been through every major life
milestone together—but it was mixed with
pity. “I’m not going to say anything. You
know I’m on your side, and so is Liam, or we
wouldn’t be here. Life hasn’t been fair to
you.”
Like my life wasn’t already a mess. “Who
says I’m entitled to fair?”
“Nat, you didn’t do anything to deserve
what he did to you. It’s not your fault, but I
know how hard it is to see that when you’re
in an abusive relationship. Whatever
happened tonight, if it made you happy, fine.
You are in control of your life from now on.”
Shaking my head, I was so ashamed.
“Nothing about tonight was about happiness.
I thought maybe it could fix me, help me
move on.”
“It’s healthy to try and move on. You can’t
live stuck in the past, especially one as dark
as yours. I just want to see you happy again.”
“Baby steps. It took years to break me down
and will probably take years to put me back
together.”
“I’ll still be here.” She winked.
I blew her a kiss. “And that’s why I love
you.”
 There wasn’t much time to ponder my first
and only one-night stand. The news finally
broke about the divorce. My phone was
constantly blowing up with notifications
every time my name or the kids’ were
mentioned in the press, along with calls from
news outlets looking for a statement.
The kids went back to school, leaving me
alone at home, watching the news all day,
every day. Amy and Liam begged me to turn
it off, but I couldn’t. I’d been trained to know
what was being said about me—both the
truth and the lies. It affected me mentally and
physically.
Withdrawing into myself, I spent most days
in bed, repeating the words that Leo had
drilled into me for years.
You’re not good enough. If you tried harder,
they would leave you alone.
I was nauseous watching the twisted version
of my reality that they spun—stories that I
stole my children from their homeland,
denying them their birthright. Worst of all,
Leo was eating up the attention, using any
and all sympathy to look like the injured
party, playing the doting father who was lost
without his children. Controlling the
narrative; that’s what he did best.
My reputation was ruined, but I didn’t care.
What mattered was keeping the vultures
away from my children. I was given a second
chance to keep them an ocean away, but they
still needed protection. When the paparazzi
began staking out their school, the security
team deemed it too risky to continue sending
them, so I kept them at home, hiring a nanny
and a tutor.
Eventually, the heat would die down, and
they could go back. At least, I hoped.
Weeks went by and the coverage dwindled,
but the thought of it still made me physically
sick. It reached the point where I couldn’t
hold down even the few things I managed to
eat. I was letting this mental block keep me
from my kids, and I hated myself for it.
Amy had finally had enough and sought to
intervene. It was safe for the kids to return to
school, and as soon as they were gone, she
entered my room, not bothering to knock.
Sitting on the edge of the bed where I was
curled up, she sighed. “Nat, you have to get
out of bed. They win—he wins—if you can’t
move on. I can’t sit here and watch you waste
away. If not for me, do it for the kids. They
need you.”
Groaning, I replied, “Do you think I want to
feel like death?”
“I think you’re punishing yourself. It’s not
your fault that Leo is a walking nightmare.”
“I married him.” I would never forgive
myself for falling for the villain. My kids
deserved so much better.
 “You did, but you had no idea what you
were getting into.”
I closed my eyes, swallowing against the
nausea churning in my gut. “There were red
flags. I knew something was off.”
“You couldn’t have known he would flip a
switch like he did.” Amy was trying to bring
rational thought to my pity party.
“Maybe I asked for it.” That was another
mantra Leo had drilled into me. Everything
was my fault.
She was stern. “No. I won’t have it. You did
nothing wrong. Do you hear me? No one
asks for what he did to you. That’s him in
your head. He doesn’t belong here.”
Opening my mouth to respond, I quickly
shut it, bolting toward the master bathroom
and hugging the toilet before losing the
contents of my stomach for the second time
that day. Amy followed me, holding my hair
back and flushing for me when I slumped
against the wall.
“I hate seeing you like this.”
Wryly, I replied, “It’s no picnic for me
either, Ames.”
“I’ll get you a cool washcloth.” She sighed,
heading for the linen closet. Eyes closed, I
heard her pause once she opened it. “Hmm.”
“Hmm, what?”
“How many boxes of tampons do you need?
This closet shelf is full.”
Frowning, I opened my eyes, breathing
deeply to calm myself. “They keep coming
on auto delivery.”
Amy knew that I was underweight, and my
periods were sporadic as a result. “Shouldn’t
at least some of these be open?” she mused.
I tried to think back to the last time I’d had a
period. Maybe May? Or was it April? I was
lost in my thoughts when Amy asked,
“There’s no chance, right?”
 Feeling horrible, my temper was short, so I
snapped. “No chance of what, Amy? Spit it
out.”
“You couldn’t be pregnant, right?”
My mind raced, my heart beating so loud
that I swore I could hear it pounding in my
ears. “No. I mean . . . I made sure.”
She gave me a knowing look. “You can
never be sure.”
“No! I was!” I protested, panic starting to
set in.
“Natalie, there’s no harm in ruling it out.
You’re probably right, but I can’t ignore how
sick you’ve been. It’s been years since Leo,
but . . .”
“I hate you so much,” I whined.
She finally made good on her promise of the
cool washcloth, helping me to my feet and
tucking me into bed. Squeezing my hand, she
added, “I’ll be back later.”
 Dozing off for a bit, I awoke to a home
pregnancy test on my nightstand. There was
no way I could face the possibility alone, so I
texted her to come upstairs for moral support.
She was always there for me when I needed
her most. I didn’t know what I’d done right
in my life to have my live-in support system,
but I silently sent up a prayer of thanks.
When she re-entered the room, Amy found
me sitting up with the box in my hands. My
best friend sat by my side, and I leaned my
head on her shoulder. She grasped my hand,
promising, “I’m here for you, no matter
what.”
Nodding, I stood, heading for the bathroom
yet again. I could barely breathe, the reality
of this situation sitting like a two-ton
elephant on my chest. There was no way. I’d
paid my dues. With four unplanned
pregnancies already under my belt, I couldn’t
do this again.
 I peed on the stick and capped it, getting up
to wash my hands, placing it on the bathroom
counter. Still drying my hands, I caught the
lines in the mirror’s reflection. It had barely
been a minute, and it was already showing
positive. Collapsing on the bathroom floor, I
began hyperventilating.
This wasn’t happening.
It couldn’t be happening.
Unsure of how much time had passed, I
heard Amy knock on the door before
entering, finding me on the floor. Pity
colored her words. “Oh no.”
Numbness was my emotion of choice by
now, even if my body’s reaction was telling a
different story. “What am I going to do?”
Joining me on the floor, my best friend was
steadfast, taking my hand. “I will support you
no matter what you decide.”
The implications hit me in full force.
I could make it all go away.
 But how could I look at the three little faces
of my children, knowing there should be one
more, and I had made a choice to change
that? No, I couldn’t go down that path. On
the other hand, things were finally settling
for our little family. This baby would throw
our lives back into chaos. My summer
indiscretion would be revealed, changing our
family dynamic and giving ammunition to
the paparazzi when they were finally leaving
us alone.
Tears burned behind my eyes, and I
squeezed Amy’s hand. “I have to tell you
something.”
She squeezed back. “Nothing you tell me
right now will leave this room. You know
that.”
Closing my eyes, I swallowed before
whispering, “I slept with Jaxon Slate.”
My declaration was met with silence.
Daring to open my eyes, I found Amy staring
at me, eyes wide, mouth hanging open.
“Say something!” I demanded, unable to
bear the silence a moment longer.
I could see her collecting her thoughts
before she responded, “Okay . . .”
“Okay, what? None of this is okay!” I
shouted.
“Sorry, I needed a minute to process. I have
so many questions.”
I buried my head in my hands, muffling a
frustrated scream. Resigned, I sighed. “Fire
away.”
Seriously, she asked, “First things first.
Which one of you went backpacking in
Western Europe?”
Only Amy could get me to laugh when all I
wanted to do was cry, citing a scenario from
our all-time favorite sitcom. I put my head on
her shoulder. She’d been by my side through
thick and thin. It strengthened me to know
that no matter what happened with my
current situation, she would be there, as
steadfast as ever.
Wiping away tears from laughing instead of
crying—for once—I answered honestly,
“Sadly, it was me. I came on to him. Only
God knows why. I went over for Jameson’s
ball, and then he offered me a drink. I know I
should have said no, but something inside me
snapped, and I wanted to forget my life for
one night.”
There was a smile in her voice as she teased,
“Can’t say I blame you. That man is sex on a
stick. That’s going to be one good-looking
baby.”
Somehow, Amy always helped me find the
light in any situation. Even on my darkest
days, she’d helped me find the silver lining. I
only hoped that her optimism would carry me
through this impossible situation.
OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 5

OceanofPDF.com
 Natalie

THE SKY WAS STILL dark before dawn as

Amy drove us to my OB’s office to confirm
that the positive test had resulted in a viable
pregnancy. There was still a tiny part of my
mind in denial, but I’d been down this road
too many times. I could pretend it wasn’t
happening, but like it or not, a helpless new
life depended solely on me to get my act
together.
Amy never left my side as they took all my
vitals and ran preliminary tests. I couldn’t
bear to look at the scale when they checked
my weight, and embarrassment flooded me
when I couldn’t pinpoint the date of my last
period.
Coming to my rescue, as she so often did,
Amy prompted, “Maybe that’s not
important? You know the date of conception,
right?”
I closed my eyes. Yeah, I knew that. “Um, it
was August third.” That seemed to satisfy the
nurse checking me in, and she left us alone
for a few minutes while we waited for the
doctor. I couldn’t stop myself from asking
Amy, “How bad was it?”
She knew instantly what I wanted to know.
“Which side of the scale is deemed ‘bad’
these days?”
 Leo had made me believe that the press was
fixated on my weight for years, saying my
size six body was fat. He’d even gone so far
as to suggest a tummy tuck after Beau was
born. I’d learned later that he had been the
one feeding those stories and pictures to the
gossip rags. He’d wanted to see how far he
could push me. To break me mentally,
asserting complete control.
The years of mental torture took their toll,
resulting in extreme body dysmorphia, which
then led to my anorexia. Breaking free and
putting an ocean between us still wasn’t
enough to shake the conditioning that I
would never be thin enough.
I knew I’d taken it too far, but I couldn’t
stop. Looking in the mirror, I couldn’t see
what my family saw when they begged me to
take better care of myself. Liam and Amy
became desperate, showing me pictures of
myself on the tabloid websites, and I
remembered how shocked I was. I couldn’t
believe I was the same person depicted in
those photographs, going so far as to claim
that they’d been photoshopped because that
skeleton-thin woman couldn’t be me—I
didn’t want to believe that it was me. They’d
confirmed that was what they saw when they
looked at me, and I had an emotional
breakdown.
I wanted to do better and be healthier for my
kids, but eating the proper amount changed
from a mental block into a physical one. I got
sick if I ate more than a light portion of a
meal. Doctors explained that my stomach
shrank because of the low volume of food I’d
consumed over the course of the previous
years. The only solution was to keep eating,
and eventually, it would expand back to its
original size. They warned me it would be
uncomfortable, but try as I might, I couldn’t
force myself to eat more frequently. This
disease had me firmly in its grasp, and I
feared I would never break free.
Smoothing the paper gown over my lap, I
couldn’t meet Amy’s eyes. “How
underweight?”
I heard her sigh. “Nat.” When she didn’t
continue right away, my eyes raised to meet
hers—full of compassion but laced with
concern. “It’s bad. If I’m being honest, I
don’t know how you’re still standing here. I
could kill him for what he’s done to you.”
Don’t cry. Don’t cry.
As I was blinking back the tears, I felt her
hand grab mine. She whispered, “He can’t
hurt you anymore.”
Nodding, knowing that wasn’t true, I
managed the only words I could. “I love you,
Ames.”
Squeezing my hand, she replied, “Love you
always, Nat.”
 A knock at the door shook me out of my
thoughts. I watched as the doctor’s mouth
moved, barely hearing her as she began
going through the motions to check on a
baby that would change all our lives. What
finally snapped me out of my fog was when
the monitor turned in my direction, showing
a tiny, squirming, gummy-bear-looking shape
on the screen.
There it is. This is real.
She had my attention now, and I heard the
doctor for the first time as she declared,
“Looks healthy and right on track for the
dates you gave. Right around eight weeks,
maybe a couple of days past.”
Finishing the ultrasound, she removed her
gloves and rolled away on the stool. Briefly,
she glanced at Amy before addressing the
elephant in the room. “Do we need to discuss
options?”
 “No. I’m keeping it.” That decision was
made before we made this appointment.
She nodded. “In that case, I have some
concerns.”
Panicked, I grabbed for Amy’s hand again.
“You said it was healthy.”
The doctor’s lips turned down. “Yes, the
baby is healthy. For now. I’m sure you’re
well aware that your health must remain the
top priority. In your current state, I don’t
know that your body will be able to handle
carrying a baby to term. I can see from your
chart that’s been an issue in the past.”
Pushing that to the back of my mind, I
explained, “I’ve tried. I can’t even eat a
child-sized portion before my stomach
rebels.”
“I can prescribe some anti-nausea meds to
help with the morning sickness you’re
experiencing. There are some high-calorie
shakes you can sip on throughout the day,
which may be helpful in putting on weight
without upsetting your stomach like solid
food. If that fails, your only option may be a
feeding tube, which I would not recommend.
At that point, I would urge you to reconsider
your options regarding the pregnancy.”
Shaking my head, knowing the alternative, I
promised, “I’ll make it work. I have to.”
Nodding, she stood. “All right. I’ll see you
in four weeks, barring any issues. Please take
care of yourself so that you can take care of
this baby.”
“I will.”
Once back in the car, I let all the
information wash over me. By the end of
April, I’d be the mother of four. Maybe.
There were so many variables—some I had
control over, but so many others that I didn’t.
Amy had remained silent but decided I’d
stewed long enough. “Are you going to tell
him?”
 A flat laugh left my lips. “Which him?”
“Are we playing that game?” She knew I
was deflecting. When I didn’t respond, she
continued, “Guess so. Fine. It’s none of Leo’s
business. Liam will figure it out eventually,
considering he lives with us, so that leaves
Jaxon. You know, the father.”
“I know I should . . .”
It was the right thing to do, but the thought
of telling Jaxon terrified me. Chalk it up to
past trauma; the memories I had of telling a
man I was pregnant were filled with images
of Leo’s disgust, disdain, and blame. I’d
always been made to feel guilty for falling
pregnant, regardless of the fact I’d been
firmly in a committed relationship—a
married woman. This time I didn’t even have
that to back me up.
Amy sighed, knowing my history. “Nat. He
lives next door. What do you think is going to
happen? He won’t notice you have a new
baby? One that has a high chance of looking
like him? That he won’t realize the dates line
up? Keep dreaming.”
“You don’t understand. The night I slept
with him, I found his phone while searching
for my clothes.”
She made a show of an exaggerated gasp.
“Oh dear lord, he has a phone? How dare
he!”
Rolling my eyes, I explained, “It was
blowing up with messages from his boys
about how they were waiting for him so they
could pick up women. I’m probably not even
the only woman he slept with that night!”
“Didn’t you say you came on to him?”
“Yes,” I groaned.
“Then how can you hold it against him for
having a life?”
Chewing on that for a minute, a lightbulb
went off. Maybe I could turn this to my
advantage. Jaxon hadn’t planned on me
walking in that day and begging him to sleep
with me. He certainly hadn’t planned on
creating a baby that night.
What if I played to the playboy side of it? I
could offer him zero responsibility. Let him
off the hook, and in return, he’d have no
interference in my life, the baby’s, or the rest
of the kids’.
That was it! It would solve everything.

Returning home, the kids were already off

to school for the day, and I found Liam
enjoying his coffee out on the deck while the
weather was still mild. For how much he’d
given me these past few years, it was only
right that I tell him before I told Jaxon. He’d
always supported me, but I knew he would
be so disappointed in me. Everyone was
going to be.
 Reminding myself that I’d made the choices
that led to my current situation, I opened the
sliding glass door and walked toward where
Liam was sitting. The smell of his coffee hit
me, and I gagged before I could stop myself.
On a normal day, I didn’t like the smell of
coffee, but my sense of smell—and my gag
reflex, for that matter—were in overdrive
now.
Thanks, gummy bear.
Liam’s senses were honed during his years
of mandated military service, so he instantly
heard the almost silent noise, standing on
high alert. “Whoa, are you all right?”
Waving my hand dismissively, I responded,
“Sorry, you know I’m not a big fan of the
coffee smell.”
Walking past me, he took the cup inside
before returning. “Better?”
“Much, thank you.” I smiled weakly.
 “Come, sit down.” He guided me to the
chair next to the one he’d just vacated. “I
know you haven’t been feeling well lately.”
Heat rushed to my cheeks. “Yeah, about
that.”
“Nat, I know it’s hard, but you have to put
your blinders on. You’re safe here. I will
never let anything happen to you.”
Oh, the irony. “Too late.”
His whole body tensed, and he forced out
through gritted teeth, “What did he do?”
Reaching over, I touched his arm. “No, it’s
nothing like that.”
“You scared me,” he breathed out, his body
relaxing in visible relief.
“Liam, I’m pregnant.” That was the first
time I’d said the words out loud. It still didn’t
feel real.
The color drained from his face as his eyes
darted, his brain working on overdrive. “Preg
—How?”
 Well, Liam, when a man and woman find
each other attractive, blood rushes—”
He held a hand up, cutting me off. “Not
what I meant.” He dragged a hand down his
face. “I’m aware of the mechanics involved,”
he muttered dryly.
Continuing to use humor as a deflection
technique, I pressed, “Are you sure? I can
explain the birds and the bees. It’s not that
complex.”
“Natalie . . .” I sat up straighter at the
warning tone in his voice.
Ashamed, I looked down, avoiding his ever-
present scowl. “I didn’t mean for this to
happen.”
Instantly, his tone softened. “Who is the
father? Oh God, do you even know who the
father is?”
My eyes snapped up. “Jesus, Liam! You live
here. How often have you seen me go out?
Of course I know who the father is.”
 Sufficiently chastised, he took my hand in
apology. “I’m sorry. I’m trying to process
this. You’re divorced and never go out. Who
could possibly be—” I knew the exact
moment he figured it out as his eyes went
wide. “No, Nat. Please tell me it isn’t who I
think it is.”
Play dumb. No way he knows.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
The way my voice wavered, I couldn’t even
convince myself of that lie.
“That night you came home late. No phone,
no car.” I winced, but he kept going. “It was
him, wasn’t it? I’ve seen the way he looks at
you.”
“Excuse me?” I had no idea what he was
talking about.
“You can’t be that naïve.” Liam scoffed.
“There’s no way we are thinking about the
same person. I what you think you saw.”
 “Jameson’s ball. You went next door to get
it.” Then he muttered under his breath, “I
knew I should have hopped the fence.”
I whispered his name, confirming, “Jaxon.”
Liam stood, pacing, his tone deadly.
“Fucking Jaxon Slate. He’s had his eye on
you for years. I’m going to kill him for
taking advantage of you like this.” He moved
toward the door to the house like he was
headed to Jaxon’s this minute.
Jumping to my feet, I yelled, “No!” That
startled him enough that he paused long
enough for me to explain. “Sorry to break it
to you, big brother, but I was the one who
begged him to sleep with me. Yes, you heard
that right. I begged him.”
This whole conversation was cringe-worthy.
If it was this hard to tell Liam, how was I
going to tell Jaxon? How was I going to tell
my kids?
 I gave Liam a few minutes to pace the deck.
He looked like he was going to tear his hair
out the way he kept reaching into the
midnight-black tresses and yanking.
He was a large man, both in height and
build. At six-two and over two hundred
pounds of muscle, he used his size as an
intimidation factor, but I’d never been afraid
of him. It might be useful in scaring Jaxon
off, and that would certainly solve some of
my problems, but I needed to do this my way.
Liam couldn’t protect me forever. I needed to
stand on my own two feet. I was twenty-eight
years old, for crying out loud—if not now,
then when?
My heart hammered against my chest, so I
took a calming breath. “Did I break your
brain?” He paused his movements, so I
added, “I can’t do this without you, Liam.”
Just like that, my rock was back, taking two
steps and wrapping me in his arms. Leaning
into him, the tears threatening for days
finally fell. Liam stroked my hair, allowing
me to cry as he whispered, “I’m sorry, Nat.
This isn’t about me.” I simply nodded into
his shoulder, and he asked, “Does he know?”
Looking up at him, I shook my head. “Not
yet.”
“Maybe he doesn’t have to. We didn’t tell
Leo when—”
I cut him off before he could continue.
“This isn’t the same. He isn’t the same.”
“We could move.” He was dead serious and
had the resources to make it happen. He’d
done it once before.
I shook my head. “I’m done running. But I
do have a plan.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Care to share?”
“I need to wait a few weeks and see if this
one sticks. They’re not sure it will if I can’t
put on weight.”
“Oh, Nat.” He pulled me close again.
 I needed to figure out how to get past my
mental challenges, but there was no greater
motivator than my children. All four of them
now.
I could do this. Then, I would take the steps
to keep control in my hands for possibly the
first time in my adult life.

“Please! You have to come!” Hannah

whined.
Opening Night for the Comets was tonight,
and it was tradition for Hannah and me to go
together since we were fourteen, and her dad
first became the coach. Even when I was
living in Belleston, I had made the trip to
attend the home opener as often as I could.
Not wanting to run into Jaxon, I’d purposely
skipped the pre-season barbeque this year.
My poker face was not strong enough for
that.
Turning down Hannah twice in two weeks
wasn’t an easy task. The third part of our
best-friends trio, Hannah was the feisty one.
Growing up around hockey as the daughter
of first a player and then a coach, she was
like one of the guys. That meant most women
didn’t like her, feeling threatened by her
familiarity with the men they hoped to snag.
I knew I liked her the first day she walked
into our school freshman year in high school.
She’d seemed fun and outgoing—everything
I’d wished I was. Without a thought, I’d
approached her, inviting her to sit with Amy
and me at lunch, and the rest was history. The
three of us have been best friends ever since,
each bringing a different element to our
unique friendship.
I sighed. “Hannah, you know that I love
going to games with you, but the kids need
me right now.”
Sympathy shone in her blue eyes. “I know
that they do. It’s been a hard year for them.
But sometimes, you need to get out and do
things for yourself. It makes you a better
mom.”
If only she knew that getting out and doing
a certain hockey player was going to make
me a mom. Again.
As much as I wanted to trust her with
possibly the biggest secret of my life, I
couldn’t. Not yet, at least. I had to keep this
one close to the vest. I wasn’t even sure how
it was going to pan out once I let Jaxon
know.
“Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease, Nat,” she begged,
clasping her hands together.
Hannah wasn’t going to let it go, so I gave
in. “Fine. I’ll come. No promises on staying
for the whole game, though.”
 She was jumping up and down, excited that
she’d won the battle. “Deal!” Transferring
the ticket to my phone, she practically
skipped out of the house, calling over her
shoulder, “See you tonight!”
So, there I found myself, in the family box,
watching the players skate during warmups. I
couldn’t help it as my gaze immediately went
to Jaxon. He was hard to miss, with his
effortless, long strides on the ice. With that
raw power and agility on display, my mind
began flashing back to our night together.
His strong arms carrying me, pinning me to
the wall. The hard planes of his body flexing
as he moved over me. The way he played my
body like an instrument, knowing exactly
what I needed and when.
Completely lost in my thoughts, I nearly
jumped out of my skin when a hand touched
my shoulder. Spinning around revealed a
shocked Hannah, and I blushed—my
thoughts were beyond inappropriate for such
a public setting.
Hannah rushed out, “I’m so sorry! I didn’t
mean to scare you.”
Patting the seat next to me, silently inviting
her to sit, I apologized in turn. “No, it’s not
you.”
Taking the offered seat, she gave me a side
hug. “I’m so glad you came.”
“You were right. It’s tradition, and I needed
to get out.”
The game started, and I got lost in it. Not in
the game itself, but mesmerized in tracking
the one player who stood out amongst the
rest. He threw a hit, crunching an opposing
player against the boards. Usually, that
impact would have me flinching, but there
was something different about him. He was
in control of his actions, adjusting to the
situation and using force only when needed.
He could be strong and domineering on the
ice, but he’d handled me with such care. I
had no idea it could be that gentle with a
man.
He’s going to hate me. I’m about to ruin his
perfect bachelor life.
“Earth to Natalie.” Hannah’s words jarred
me from my daze.
“What’s that?” I forced myself to tear my
eyes away from the man on the ice.
“We scored, and you didn’t even react. Are
you okay? Usually, you’re leading the
screaming section up here.” Concern etched
her features.
She was right. Leo had deemed hockey a
distasteful blood sport and had flat-out
refused to accompany me to games. That
meant it was one of the only places where I’d
felt comfortable enough to be myself without
fear of repercussions. Hockey was fast-
paced, exciting, and always got my blood
pumping.
 Are you describing hockey or Jaxon?
“Sorry, I was somewhere else.” It was a
lame excuse but vague enough to fly under
the radar.
Her look softened to one of pity—God, I
hated the pity. “I shouldn’t have pushed you.
I know things haven’t been easy. What we
really need is a girls’ night—just you, me,
and Amy. We don’t even need to go out. We
can stay in. Whatever is best for you right
now. Just us girls and some margs.”
Now, I felt even worse about my secret.
Between the three of us, no two relationships
were stronger than the others, but sometimes
Hannah felt left out because Amy and I lived
together. Amy already knowing wouldn’t
help with those feelings, especially given
who the father was. Hannah was much closer
to Jaxon than Amy.
I’d tell her, I promised myself. Just not
today.
 Smiling weakly, I nodded. “Yeah, we’ll
have to do that soon.”
“Tell me about your trip.”
What trip?
Sticking with the vague answers, not having
a clue what she was talking about, I replied,
“It was good.”
“When you told me you planned a trip the
same weekend as the barbeque, I couldn’t
believe it. We always have the most fun at
that event.”
Get a grip, Natalie. You’re losing it. You lied
to one of your best friends. Remember?
Tracing the lettering on my upper back, she
added, “This one asked about you.”
“Who?”
Hannah looked at me like I had three heads.
“Um, Jaxon? You know, the player whose
jersey you’re wearing?”
Duh.
 You couldn’t have worn any other jersey in
your closet? You might as well have a neon
sign pointing at you, saying, “I slept with
Jaxon”.
Be cool.
“He did?”
Smiling, she nudged me. “He’s always
asked about you. I think he has a crush on
you.”
Unable to stop the blush that crept up my
neck, I nudged back. “Stop it. No, he
doesn’t.”
“You know. You’re single, he’s single. He’s
hot, you’re hot. It makes sense. You know
Dad has that whole no-dating-my-daughters
rule, so I have to live vicariously through
you.”
She was getting too close for comfort, so I
deflected, “Yeah, the hot hockey player and
the single mom of three. Unlikely.” I threw in
a scoff at the end for good measure.
 Shrugging, she mused, “It could happen.”
Oh, it definitely happened.
We fell back into our companionable
silence, and like a magnet, my eyes went
right back to Jaxon on the ice. The first
period ended, and I watched him leave the
ice.
I knew I had to tell him, and soon. Time was
not on my side. It wouldn’t be long before
this baby made its presence known.
As soon as I tied up the last of the loose
ends, I’d tell him the truth.

OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 6

OceanofPDF.com
 Jaxon

LEFT. RIGHT. LEFT. RIGHT.

The ice carved beneath my skates as I
pushed myself harder and faster, my thighs
screaming as a result of the intense effort. I’d
stayed behind after practice, needing some
peace in the only place I could turn off my
brain.
Or at least, it used to be.
 Now, she had crept into my sanctuary,
consuming my thoughts. After I’d woken up
alone in my bed, Natalie had effectively
ghosted me. I shouldn’t have been surprised.
I’d given her what she’d asked for—one
night. Clearly, that was enough for her, but
now that I had gotten a taste, I wanted
another.
It became clear she was avoiding me on
purpose when she skipped out on the pre-
season barbeque. Hannah had told me she
was out of town, but I knew the truth. She’d
said no strings, but I knew better. I began to
wonder if I would ever get to lay eyes on her
again. Was I so obsessed that I’d be pulling
out binoculars to try and catch glimpses of
her through the trees?
Snap out of it, Jaxon!
My legs begged to be done for the day, and I
finally gave in, heading toward the locker
room. Cal and Benji were showered and
dressed, the only ones left after practice.
They stopped whatever conversation they
were having as soon as I entered.
“Don’t stop on my account, boys,” I offered,
moving toward my stall.
Cal was clearly nominated to go first. “What
are you trying to do out there?”
“Endurance training?” I brushed him off.
Shaking his head, he continued, “No, there’s
something off about you.”
Benji chimed in, “Yeah. You’ve been weird
since that night you ditched us at Spades.
Now, we can’t even get you to agree to go
out.”
“Maybe you need to get laid,” Cal offered.
That’s exactly what I need.
The problem was that the only woman I
wanted had vanished. For ten years, I’d
stayed away from blondes, not wanting to
sleep with anyone who could remind me of
her. Natalie was one of a kind, and I didn’t
want a cheap knockoff. Now, the thought of
being with another woman was enough to
turn my stomach.
Every night, Natalie invaded my dreams.
Every morning, I woke up alone, with her
scent still on my pillowcase—a reminder that
she had been real. Once.
Even months later, I could still taste her on
my tongue, craving her more than ever. I
began to question whether I’d made the right
decision. Was sleeping with Natalie once
worth the possibility of never seeing her
again?
Cal’s words snapped me out of it. “You
know who I heard is divorced now? Natalie.”
Brushing him off, I countered, “I heard she
skipped town.”
“That’s weird. I could have sworn I saw her
with Hannah last week at the opener.”
He had my attention now.
She’d been there? Was she there for me?
 Stop fooling yourself. She left you alone in
bed, remember?
Benji couldn’t help but tease, “You
looooove her. Now that she’s finally single,
you should give it a go. If I had a tasty little
piece of ass like that living next door, I
wouldn’t hesitate to make a move.”
Rolling my eyes, I punched his arm. “She’s
a mom, Benji. What kind of animal do you
think I am?”
“Yeah, a mom I’d like to—”
Standing, I yelled, “Enough!”
Both of them were shocked into silence, as I
didn’t often lose my cool. I couldn’t bear the
thought of them thinking about her like that.
Rubbing my jaw, I broke the silence. “I’m
sorry, guys. You know how important she is
to Coach. What if he heard you talking about
her like that?”
Eyes wide, Benji nodded. “You’re right. I
was over the line.”
 Cal clapped me on the back. “Sorry, man. I
shouldn’t have brought her up. Whatever is
eating you, you need to deal with it. We can’t
afford to get a slow start on the season.”
I shrugged. “It’s not an issue. I’m fine.”
He looked doubtful. “If you say so.”

Ding dong.
I was expecting a dinner delivery—planning
on turning in early tonight before our matinee
game tomorrow—but was busy switching the
laundry when the doorbell rang. I called out
from the back of the house, “Go ahead and
leave it! Thanks!”
Knock knock knock. Knock knock knock.
Frustrated, running toward the door, I threw
it open. “I said you can leave it!”
Not food delivery.
 Standing wide-eyed on my front porch was
the one woman I couldn’t get out of my head.
Startled, Natalie took a step back. “I’m
sorry. I came at a bad time.”
I started to reach out to stop her, but
halfway there, I caught myself and dropped
my hand. After two months, here she was,
looking better than ever. Light makeup only
highlighted her natural features, and her
golden hair fell in loose curls over her
shoulders. Her tan had faded, but there was a
different kind of glow about her skin. Her
tight black leggings showed off that she’d
filled out since the last time I’d seen her. My
fingers itched to grab a handful of that now-
rounded ass.
Having been silent too long, she took
another step back, turning to leave. “I can
come back later.”
“No!” I called out before I could stop
myself, and she flinched. “Sorry, it’s a good
time. I thought you were my dinner
delivery.”
Natalie blushed, looking down before
asking, “Can I come in?”
Hell yes.
Nodding in response, I stepped aside to
allow her to walk past me into the house. Her
signature scent infiltrated my nostrils as she
passed, and boom, I was half hard.
Down, boy. Don’t spook her.
Closing the door, I turned and realized how
different she seemed from the last time she
was here. Instead of acting like she owned
the place, Natalie stood just inside the
entryway, twisting her hands and biting her
lip.
Motioning to the living room, I offered,
“Would you like to sit down? Can I get you a
drink?”
There was something about her, something
uneasy, and it was unsettling.
 She nodded. “Nothing to drink, but I will
sit. I won’t take up much of your time.”
Taking the lead when she didn’t move, I
headed for the couch. Following, she chose
the chair, placing her purse on the ground
beside her. Something was off. She kept
looking around the room, smoothing her shirt
down.
Deciding to break the ice, I said, “I heard
you made it to the opener. Did you have a
good time?”
Her eyes snapped to mine before she
shrugged, explaining, “You know Hannah.”
I laughed. Hannah was a force, the most
spirited of Coach’s daughters. I didn’t want
to talk about Hannah, though, so I started,
“Natalie, I—”
Cutting me off, she blurted out, “I’m
pregnant.”
I felt myself stand, but my body went numb.
 Did she say pregnant? No, I’d heard that
wrong. What rhymes with pregnant that she
probably said? Repugnant? Indignant? I was
racking my brain trying to think of what
she’d actually said because there was simply
no way she had said the word pregnant.
While my mind raced, grasping at straws, I
watched her as her mouth moved, hands
gesturing. The words that finally reached my
ears through the fog were, “You don’t have to
do anything. I’ve already taken care—”
Oh, God. Did that mean what I thought it
meant?
Air rushed into my lungs. Had I stopped
breathing?
I forced the words out, “Did you— I mean
are you going to—?” The thought was so
unimaginable that I couldn’t bring myself to
say it out loud.
Understanding dawned in her eyes, and she
rushed, “Oh, no. I didn’t mean it like that.”
Reaching into her purse, she pulled out a
manila envelope, placing it on the coffee
table, explaining, “Once the paternity test is
completed—”
“Paternity test,” I repeated.
Blushing, she added, “For legality. You’re
the only man I’ve been with in years.”
“Years?” I was definitely hearing things.
Maybe an MRI was in order. I’d have to
make a call to the team doc after this.
“That’s not important. What is important is
that once the test confirms paternity, you can
sign the termination of parental rights papers
I have here.”
Testing the words on my tongue, I managed,
“Termination—what?”
“I know how much the game demands of
you—the time commitment, the travel. Plus,
this was completely unplanned. I’ve been a
single mom for years and have lots of help,
so I can handle this. It’s all right.”
 She wanted me to walk away from my
baby? My baby.
Oh God, this was really happening. Did she
expect me to sit next door while she was
raising our child? Did she think that little of
me that I wouldn’t want to take
responsibility? Or worse, did she want me
out of her life, too?
“You want me to walk.” Saying the words
out loud caused me to flinch visibly.
“It would make everything easier,” she
confirmed.
“Easier?”
“You didn’t sign on for this. This way, you
can move on with your life like nothing ever
happened.”
Ding dong.
Natalie’s eyes went wide, her body went
rigid, and before I could blink, she bolted for
the kitchen. Dazed, I headed for the door,
opening it to the delivery driver with my
food. Tipping him quickly, I shut the door,
making my way into the kitchen.
The sight of her, white as a sheet, gripping
the kitchen island and physically shaking, did
me in. I had to wrap my brain around this
quickly because she was visibly struggling.
There was no way I was letting her handle
this all on her own.
Placing the takeout bag on the counter, I
asked quietly, “Are you okay?”
Her voice shook. “I—I can’t have this
getting out. The kids couldn’t even go to
school when news broke about the divorce.
Can you imagine what would happen if the
press found out you and I were having a baby
together?”
Rubbing a hand over my face, I countered,
“So, no father is better than me? What
happens when this kid grows up and finds
out I’ve been next door this whole time? Did
you even think about that?”
 She collapsed onto a kitchen stool, her voice
breaking as she asked, “What do you want?”
I want you.
This was it. My one chance to get close
enough to show her how much I’d always
cared about her. A baby meant we were tied
together for life. Maybe it was dumb luck, or
perhaps it was fate, but whatever it was, I had
to grab ahold of this opportunity with both
hands. There was no chance in hell I was
signing papers that would give her
permission to disappear again.
“I want to be involved. I want to be there for
you in any way you’ll let me. I can’t sign
those papers, Natalie. I’m sorry.”
“I understand.” She nodded, unable to meet
my eye.
“I can keep it quiet,” I promised. “We don’t
have to tell anyone, not until you’re ready. I
know it will take time for you to trust me, but
I want to help.”
 “It’s not just me. My kids don’t know.” It
broke my heart to hear her voice so small, so
defeated.
“I want a chance to know my kid.”
Tears rolled down her cheeks as she looked
up, trying to blink back more that threatened
to fall. It killed me to see her like this. All I
wanted to do was scoop her into my arms and
hold her, but I respected that she needed
space.
“I’m sorry,” she whimpered.
“You have nothing to be sorry about.”
Shaking her head, she continued, “No, I do.
I have three kids with a father who doesn’t
give a shit about them, and here I am trying
to force you to do the same. I’ve been out of
control of my life for so long, and I thought .
. .”
“Thought what?” I truly wanted to
understand.
 Natalie took a deep breath. “I thought if I
asked you to sign away your rights, it would
make it so that you could never take this
baby away from me. I wouldn’t survive it.
My kids are all I have.”
Jesus, what kind of monster did she think I
was to take away her child? Did she know
me at all?
“I would never do that,” I vowed. “You said
it yourself. I’m constantly at practice, games,
or on the road, so my time is limited. I
wouldn’t even be able to devote whole days
to taking care of a baby. It doesn’t make
sense to ask for custody only to hire help
when their mother and siblings are right next
door. I trust you. Let me be there when I can,
and I won’t ever ask for a formal custody
arrangement.”
Eyes wide, she asked, “You trust me enough
to do that?”
“Let me be a part of this. That’s all I ask.”
 “Okay.” She stood, and I mirrored her
actions, following as she walked back into
the living room. Taking the folder off the
coffee table, she placed it back inside her
purse. Retrieving her cell phone, she held it
out to me. When I didn’t take it, she
prompted, “Your phone number?”
I took the phone. “Oh, yeah. Of course.” I
plugged in my number and handed it back.
She inspected it before adding, “I’ll send
over the details of the lab for the paternity
testing.”
“Thanks.”
“I should go.” As we headed toward the
door, there was an awkward silence. It was
like neither one of us knew what else to say.
Opening the door, I managed, “Please let me
know if there’s anything that I can do for
you.”
Natalie nodded. “Sure.”
 I watched her walk across the driveway
until she disappeared down the stone path
that ran between our two houses. Closing the
door, I leaned up against it, running my
hands through my hair.
I knocked up Natalie Remington.
I was going to be a father.
Holy shit.

OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 7

OceanofPDF.com
 Jaxon

THE PATERNITY TEST RESULTS came

back after a couple of weeks, confirming
what I already knew—I was the father of
Natalie’s baby. I was on the road, but she
texted me with the news, including an
attachment of the official lab report. Keeping
my promise, I hadn’t told anyone, but she
agreed that it would be appropriate to tell my
parents and Coach in case any family
obligation interfered with my schedule.
My little brother, Braxton, had followed me
to Connecticut and was playing college
hockey at Hartford State University. Early
November meant the start of his season, and
my parents were coming to town to see some
of his games and mine. Their visit was my
chance to tell them they were about to
become grandparents.
Setting up a dinner at my house, I invited
Coach and my parents. Coach became my
mentor when I’d been drafted young, so we
had a closer-than-average relationship. He
wouldn’t think twice about being asked to
have dinner with my parents.
My parents I could handle, but Coach? He’d
made it clear early on that Natalie wasn’t
only off-limits because she was married—she
was off-limits because he viewed her like a
daughter. I would be lucky if my legs
survived the on-ice punishment he would
dish out if I even saw the ice again after he
found out what I’d done.
“Knock knock! Anyone home!” my mom
called out as she let herself and my dad in.
Rushing to the door, I placed an obligatory
kiss on her cheek before hugging her. “Hi,
Mom.”
She pulled back, assessing me from head to
toe. “You look tired, Jaxon. Are you tired?”
“Leave him alone, Shannon. He looks fine.”
Dad had entered the chat, a man of few
words as it was hard to get any in around
Mom.
I nodded to my dad in gratitude. “Thanks.”
Shoving a platter in my face, Mom
announced, “I brought dessert!”
Chuckling, I took the platter. “Of course you
did. Looks great. I’ll take it to the kitchen.
Make yourselves at home.”
 By the time I returned, Coach had arrived
and was exchanging the usual pleasantries
with my parents. They became close early in
my career as Coach was the one to look out
for me. I’d been lucky that so many people
had my back. Not everyone entering the
league so young had a support system to
keep them on track. Too much money
combined with a lack of supervision was
often catastrophic for young players.
Coach caught sight of me as I entered the
room. “Hey, there he is!” Turning to my
parents, he added, “I can’t tell you how
impressed I’ve been with Jaxon this season.
He’s been pushing hard outside of practice.
Not many guys in year ten are putting in that
amount of extra time. His ability to lead by
example makes him an excellent captain.”
Mom beamed. “We are always so proud of
our Jaxon.”
Not making this any easier, Mom.
 Clearing my throat, I asked, “So, do we
want to sit for drinks first? Or go straight to
dinner?”
Waving her hand, Mom proclaimed,
“Drinks! Let’s chat for a bit before we eat.”
Grabbing drinks from the kitchen, I tried to
gather my courage. Carrying a loaded tray, I
made my way back into the living room
before setting it down and taking a seat.
Patting my knee, Mom prompted, “Tell us
what’s new with you, dear.”
Well, it’s now or never, Jaxon. Time to man
up. Just rip off the bandage.
“Actually, I do have some news.”
Lighting up, she bounced in her seat.
“Oooh! You never have news!”
Breathe, man. You can do this.
“I’m going to be a dad this spring.” The
silence was deafening as three sets of eyes
stared at me. When I couldn’t take it
anymore, I asked, “Anyone have anything to
say about that?”
Dad went first, lecturing, “Son, what did I
tell you when you left home at fifteen?”
The words had been drilled into me.
“Always wrap it up.”
“So, what were you thinking? Was it worth
it? Now, you’ll have some woman coming
for all you’ve worked for. Plus, a child on top
of it? You’re not ready for any of that.”
Some woman?
Nobody had the right to talk about Natalie
that way, and my temper flared. “For your
information, Dad, I did use protection. It
apparently wasn’t enough. And what do you
know about what I’m ready for? I’m twenty-
seven years old!”
Scoffing, he remarked, “This is something I
might expect from Braxton, but not you,
Jaxon. You’re better than this.”
 Standing, I threw my arms wide. “Why?
Because I’m expected to be perfect all the
time? I’m sick and tired of living up to the
golden boy image of me you have built up in
your mind.”
Ignoring my outburst, he continued, “How
do you even know she’s telling the truth that
the child is yours?”
“Goddammit, Dad! Would you like a copy
of the paternity test?”
Clearly uncomfortable, Coach asked, “Why
am I here for this?”
Time to drop the bomb.
Taking a breath, I dropped into my seat
before responding, “Natalie is the mother.”
I watched the shift in his demeanor. He’d
been my coach for ten years, so I knew what
he looked like when he was about to blow.
Explosion incoming.
“Natalie?” he boomed. “What did I tell
you? How long has this been going on?”
 “Coach, it’s not what you think—”
Dad interrupted, “Well, of course, you’re
going to have to marry her.”
Coach countered, “No way in hell can he
marry her!”
“He has to take responsibility,” Dad argued.
“Michael, enough!” Mom yelled. Once
again, silence descended as all the men
turned to Mom. Calmly she asked, “Jaxon,
how do you feel about all of this?”
I had never loved her as much as I did in
this moment. Trust Mom to focus amidst the
chaos. Sighing, I said, “I’ve had a little time
to let it sink in. I’m dealing with it.”
Mom smiled. “I don’t know Natalie, but
how do you feel about her?”
Before I could respond, Coach blurted,
“Anyone with eyes knows how he feels about
Natalie. He’s been looking at her like a
lovesick puppy dog for years!”
 Not backing down, Mom addressed Coach,
“I was asking my son, Ace.” Turning back to
me, she prompted, “Jaxon?”
Rubbing a hand over my jaw, I was honest,
“I have feelings for her. Coach is right. I’ve
always had feelings for her.”
“And how is she doing?”
“She’s scared.” The mental image of Natalie
terrified in my kitchen weeks ago had my
heart twisting inside my chest.
“Poor thing.” She was in full-on mom
mode, and I could tell she was yearning to
mother Natalie.
“She’s terrified of what will happen if
anyone finds out. Especially the press. She
wants to protect her children.”
“She has older children?” I could hear the
slight shock in her voice. No one anyone
outside of Coach or my teammates could
picture me picking up a single mom.
 Nodding, I confirmed, “Three of them.
She’s only been divorced for a few months.
This would be a difficult time for her
regardless of the pregnancy.”
“How can we help?” This was what Mom
did. She took care of everyone selflessly. Her
kindness knew no bounds.
“What she really needs is privacy. I
promised to keep things quiet. That means,
this information doesn’t leave this room. You
can’t even tell Braxton.”
Turning to Dad and Coach, she asked,
“Gentlemen? Think you can do that?” They
both nodded—she’d sufficiently scared them
into silence. “All right, done. Now, next
things next.”
Confused, I asked, “What’s next?”
“If you care about this girl, it falls on you to
take care of her. I don’t think a marriage of
obligation is a good idea.” She threw a
pointed look at Dad. “But that doesn’t mean
you can’t build a relationship. You might be
doing things a little bit backwards, but
nothing can be done about that now. Be there
for her, and the rest will follow. If she’s what
you want.”
Nodding, I whispered, “She’s everything
I’ve ever wanted.”
She smiled. “Then go get her. Take care of
your family.”
My family.
Damn, that had a nice ring to it. I knew that
with Mom on board, she’d whip Dad into
shape eventually. He needed time. Hell, I
needed time, but that was a luxury I couldn’t
afford.
Coach stood. “If you’ll excuse me, I don’t
think I’ll stay for dinner.” I stood, mirroring
him as he added, “And don’t worry, I won’t
tell anyone. Not for your sake, but for
Natalie’s. She’s been through enough.”
 Willing to take what I could get, I knew he
would be pissed for a while.
Once he left, Dad stood. “I’ve lost my
appetite.”
Mom chastised, “Michael . . . We came here
to spend time with Jaxon.”
“You stay. I can come and pick you up
later.”
I touched her arm. “It’s all right, Mom.
Want some food to go?”
Pulling me into a hug, she whispered,
“Think about what I said?”
Hugging her tighter, my words were
muffled in her hair. “I will.”
Pulling back, she smiled. “Just be you.
You’ve got this.”
Kissing her cheek, I was grateful for her
support. “Thanks, Mom.”
Heading toward the door, she called back,
“Call if you need anything. Anything, you
hear me?”
 “Yes, ma’am.”
As they headed out the door, I could hear
Mom chastising Dad, “You need to lighten
up, Michael. We’re going to be grandparents.
Find the silver lining. If our son is happy, you
need to be happy for him.”
Their voices floated further away, but I
heard Dad respond, “I need time, Shannon.
It’s a lot to process.”
I moved forward to shut the door, just in
time to hear Mom close out her argument,
“This isn’t about you. Get over yourself.”
Thanks, Mom.
She was right as she so often was. I needed
to step up and take care of Natalie. She had
to come first. It wasn’t going to be easy to
earn her trust. I knew it was going to take
time. Luckily, we had plenty of that—
eighteen years, to be exact.
Hopefully, it wouldn’t take quite that long.
 Ding dong.
My parents had only been gone roughly
fifteen minutes, so I hustled to the door,
throwing it open, saying, “What did you
forget?” When I finally looked up, I was met
with the striking blue eyes of Liam
Remington.
Liam was Natalie’s guard dog, but he also
happened to be the brother of her ex-
husband. It always struck me as odd that he
took her side when things went south,
moving in with her and the kids when they’d
relocated.
Was there something more going on there?
The press had always speculated there was
something going on between them, but with
how timid Natalie had been during our one
night together, it didn’t seem like she was
very experienced.
The man made it no secret that he didn’t
like me, and now I’d given him a reason.
I breathed out, “Oh, it’s you.”
Narrowing those piercing eyes on me, he
crossed both arms over his massive chest.
Liam was a large man, but I wasn’t scared of
him. He might be only a couple of inches
taller than me, but easily had thirty more
pounds of muscle. The size difference
between us wouldn’t matter if he tried to get
between me and my family.
Not mincing words, he stated matter-of-
factly, “I saw your company leave. We need
to talk.”
Rolling my eyes in response, I made my
annoyance clear. “Stalking me now?”
“You’re one to talk.”
“Did you come here to insult me? Or did
you want to talk?” I narrowed my eyes.
 “Fine. Can I come in?” Liam grunted in
annoyance. You’d think a prince would have
better manners.
Stepping aside, I allowed him access.
“Sure.” Closing the door, I leaned against it,
not formally inviting him in. “What do you
want?”
He huffed, repeating my question, “What do
I want? I want you to leave my sister alone.”
If he wanted to play the alpha male, then
fine, we’d play. “Not going to happen.”
“She doesn’t need you. She has me, and she
has Amy.”
Glaring at him, I wasn’t budging. “I think
you’re forgetting something. That’s my baby
she’s carrying.”
“Why couldn’t you just walk away? She
gave you the chance. Take it. It’s not too
late.” Was it his idea, those papers? I
clenched my fists, anger coursing through my
veins at the thought.
 “Could you walk away? If it was your
baby?”
He broke my gaze. “No.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
Liam’s eyes snapped to mine, sharp and
menacing. “You have no idea what she’s
been through.”
“I have some idea.” I shrugged.
“You have no fucking clue. My brother is a
monster.”
His admission set me on edge. “So, let me
get this straight. You’re trying to protect her
from me, but you couldn’t protect her from
your own brother?”
A shadow passed over his eyes. “There were
a lot of things that happened behind closed
doors that I didn’t find out about until it was
too late.”
Intrigued, I asked, “Like what?”
Liam shook his head. “No. That’s not my
story to tell. I might not have been able to
protect her from the things I didn’t know
about, but I sure as hell helped get her out. I
dropped everything in my life to bring her
home and take care of her. And you know
what? She was worth it.”
“You think I don’t know that? She deserves
my support right now. My baby deserves a
father.”
He scoffed. “You have no idea what it
means to be a father.”
Crossing my arms, I challenged, “And you
do?”
“I’m the closest thing those kids have had to
a father in years.”
“I’m glad you’ve been there for them. I’m
not trying to force you out. I’m only trying to
support her in any way I can right now.”
Pushing off of the door, I headed for the
kitchen. “Speaking of which, could you take
some of this lasagna back with you for her?”
 Following me in, he laughed humorlessly.
“You really are clueless.”
Scooping some lasagna into a container, I
let my curiosity win out. “About what?”
“She can’t eat that.”
A pang of guilt hit me. “Has her morning
sickness been bad? Maybe I could send over
some ginger ale and crackers instead.”
“Christ, it’s not morning sickness, you
idiot.”
“Then what is it?” I crossed my arms.
He ran his hands through his hair, clearly
warring with himself on whether or not to tell
me. “I really shouldn’t be telling you this.”
“Liam, she’s carrying my baby. I need to
know if there’s something wrong.” Panic
began to set in. What was going on?
Sighing, he gave in. “You have to
understand. My brother broke her for sport.
For no other reason than to know that he
could.”
 I felt my rage simmering, my words clipped.
“Spit. It. Out.”
“She can barely eat solid food, and it’s not
because of the baby. It’s because she’s been
anorexic for so long that her stomach rebels
if she eats more than a few teaspoons worth
of food. She’s been sipping protein shakes to
put on weight so that she doesn’t lose your
baby.”
A red haze filled my vision. “What did he
do to her?”
He grunted. “What didn’t he do to her?”
“Liam—” I warned.
He ran a hand down his face. “He fed
unflattering pictures of her to the least
reputable gossip columns to make her think
that she was fat. He wanted to see how far he
could push her, to show that he could control
her. And it worked.”
“I could kill him.” My hands dropped to
clench the marble of the kitchen island.
 “Yeah, well, get in line. I swear to God, if
you fuck with her, I will come over here and
kill you with my bare hands.”
“You won’t get an argument from me. Now,
can you back off?”
“I don’t like you,” he spat.
Tell me something I don’t already know,
asshole.
“You don’t have to like me. Just stay out of
my way. Let me take care of my family.”
Blowing out a breath, Liam looked skyward.
“Fuck me. Your family. Just keep in mind
that your family is fully intertwined with
mine.”
“You want to protect her. I get that. But at
some point, you have to let her make some
decisions for herself. Remember that she’s
your sister, not your child.”
Eyes narrowing, he sneered, “I’ve seen the
way you’ve always looked at her. She might
be the only person alive who’s never noticed.
I’m not convinced you didn’t pressure her.”
I took a menacing step forward. Was Liam
seriously implying that I took advantage of
his sister? “Has she told you her side of the
story? Because I can assure you, I’ve never
been with a woman who didn’t give her full
consent. Multiple times, in fact.”
“She used to lie to protect him all the time,”
he snarled.
I scoffed. “Well, I’m not him. She comes
first. From now on.”
He headed for the door, leaving the
container of lasagna sitting on the counter,
throwing over his shoulder, “Don’t make
promises that you can’t keep.”
The sound of the front door slamming
echoed through the empty house. It was clear
that Liam didn’t want me around, but would
he let Natalie make her own decisions?
Looks like I have my work cut out for me.
OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 8

OceanofPDF.com
 Natalie

SIXTEEN WEEKS .
As much as I was in denial about this baby,
it became more challenging by the day to
ignore the reality of the life growing inside
me. Thanks to the protein shakes, I’d put on
fifteen pounds, had the tiniest baby bump,
and little gummy bear—as I was calling it—
was starting to flutter inside my belly.
Thankfully, it was healthy and growing right
on track, but that meant it was time to finally
tell my kids.
There was no way I could handle this
without support, so Liam and Amy made sure
to be available for a fun breakfast for dinner
Friday night going into the weekend. I’d
hyped it up all week, so the kids were
bursting with excitement when they got
home from school for the weekend.
As a family, we spent a half hour mixing
batter before putting it onto the griddle. All
three giggled, deciding whether to add fruit,
chocolate chips, or sprinkles as the batter
bubbled. Amelia and Jameson took pride in
being grown up enough to try their hand at
flipping the pancakes. They groaned when
they failed but cheered when they finally
succeeded.
The kitchen was a total mess, but the kids
were happier than I’d seen them in years.
This was a rare glimpse into the life they
deserved—the one they could’ve had if they
hadn’t drawn the short straw in the genetic
lottery.
Plates piled high, we sat down, and I
marveled at the family I’d created—Amy and
Liam, my three children, and me. Through
thick and thin, we always had each other’s
backs.
I managed to eat a whole pancake, albeit a
small one, slowly making progress in eating
solid food. Once I was done with mine, I
took a sip of water and bit the bullet.
Tousling Beau’s dark mop of curls, I began,
“Thanksgiving is coming up, and I wanted to
say how thankful I am for all of my kids. I
am thankful for how helpful Amelia is every
day. I am thankful for how hard Jameson
works both in his academics and his athletics.
I’m beyond thankful for how much Beau
makes us laugh.”
 His giggles rang clear, and we all laughed in
response.
I continued, “And I am the most thankful
for how resilient and strong you’ve all been
during the changes this year. I love you all so
very much, and I think our love has room to
grow.”
Jameson’s eyes lit up. “Are we getting a
puppy?”
Beau screamed, “Yes! A puppy!”
Nervous laughter left my lips. “A puppy is a
good idea, but maybe another time. How
would we feel about another baby?”
Jameson’s brow wrinkled in confusion. “A
baby? But we already have Beau.”
“I’m not a baby!” Beau protested.
“Beau may be our baby, but he’s right. He’s
not a baby anymore,” I responded.
Jameson tried again. “Is Aunt Amy having a
baby?”
 Amy began choking on the bite of food in
her mouth, and Liam had to reach over to
give her a pat on the back. Clearing her
throat, she protested immediately, “No, Aunt
Amy is not having a baby.”
Amelia had been a silent observer this
whole time. She was always like that, taking
in a scene before deciding what to say. I’d
named her after Amy, and she was so much
like her namesake in that regard. Finally, she
decided to speak. “Mom, are you having a
baby?”
Managing a weak smile, I confirmed, “Yes,
sweetheart.”
Then I watched as fear entered her eyes. Her
voice was shaky as she dared to ask, “Is Dad
coming back?”
Oh, God. Of course that’s where her mind
would go. She was a child, and that seemed
only logical as she and her brothers were all
products of the union between her father and
me.
Three sets of identical brown eyes stared at
me in anticipation of the answer as I shook
my head. “No, honey. Dad’s not coming
back.” Watching as her tiny body relaxed, it
broke my heart. She’d been through way too
much in her short life. They all had. Taking a
deep breath, I clarified, “This baby is going
to have a different daddy.”
Jameson asked, “Is he nice?”
I nodded. “He’s very nice. I think you’ll like
him.”
“Is he going to come and live with us?”
It was Liam’s turn to choke before he
sputtered, “Hell, no!”
“Liam . . .” I warned. Turning back to my
children, I answered, “No, he’s not going to
live with us. But would it be all right if he
came over sometime? Would you like to meet
him?”
 Jameson looked over to his sister—being so
close in age, they were two halves of a
whole. He always wanted her approval, so he
asked, “Amelia?”
Amelia chewed her lip, thinking and
processing, which was to be expected.
Finally, she nodded. “All right.”
One hurdle down, on to the next. “Now, this
part is very important. We didn’t like it very
much when the camera people bothered you
at school, right?” Three sets of heads shook
in unison, so I went on, “Mommy having a
new baby will bring them back. So, it’s got to
be our little secret. Okay?”
“Beau is gonna tell,” Jameson complained.
I decided to pull out the big guns. “Beau,
sweetie?” His brown eyes met mine.
“Remember how you have to be really good
for Santa to come?”
His eyes lit up. “Santa! I want presents!”
 “Santa will definitely put you on his nice list
if you don’t tell anyone about Mommy’s
baby.”
Eyes big, he nodded, his curls bouncing. “I
won’t tell.”
Looking over to the other adults, I realized
that our fate rested in the hands of a three-
year-old. What could possibly go wrong?

“Girls’ night in!” Hannah’s voice carried

down the hallway as she let herself in. Liam
had taken the kids out for the night to have
some fun after I’d dropped the baby news.
Hannah was the last person I still needed to
tell.
“In the kitchen!” Amy called out.
Hannah rounded the corner, a bottle of
tequila in one hand, a bag of chips in the
other. Setting them down on the island, she
breathed out, “It’s been too long.”
Amy gave her a quick hug before joking,
“Get to work on those drinks. It’s been a long
week at work.”
Hannah bustled about the kitchen, grabbing
the blender and various other ingredients for
margaritas while asking, “Getting any closer
to that promotion, Ames?”
Amy sighed, releasing her auburn hair from
its low ponytail and shaking it out. “I think it
could be a while yet.”
“You’ll get it. You were meant to be a
badass boss lady.”
Laughing, I grabbed a chip bowl and poured
some salsa. Hannah wasn’t wrong about that.
Amy’s first love was her career. Swearing off
the possibility of a relationship after a bad
interaction in college, she’d maintained that a
man or kids would only slow her down. She
loved my kids like they were her own, so she
didn’t seem to mind closing off that prospect
for herself. Amy was fierce, strong, and
independent—all the things that I wasn’t.
The three of us couldn’t be more different,
but that’s why we got along so well—we
each brought something to the table. Hannah
brought the craziness, Amy brought the
common sense, and I brought the motherly
caring and kindness.
Our looks were also completely different.
Amy was taller than some men—standing at
five-nine—with a curvy body, red hair, and
green eyes. Hannah was the brunette, with
bright blue eyes, standing at five-six, with an
athletic build. I was the token blonde—at
least now, anyway—with dark brown eyes,
and was the shortest of the group, standing at
five-four.
The familiar sounds of the blender filled the
room, and I munched on a chip, savoring the
salty flavor. Little gummy bear made its
presence known, giving a little flip,
reminding me that there was one more
honorary aunt with whom I needed to share
the news of their impending arrival.
I shifted on my stool before saying,
“Hannah, can you make me a virgin?”
She joked, “Too late for that, Nat. Unless
you finished the time machine?”
Laughing, I tried again. “No, I meant my
drink.”
Hannah looked at me, raising an eyebrow.
“You on new meds?”
Pushing away from the island, I lifted my
loose tunic top enough to show my tiny
bump. Blue eyes went wide before she
uttered a drawn out, “Nooooooooooooo.”
Letting my shirt fall back down, I shrugged.
“Well, we all know it’s not a food baby.”
The wheels turned visibly in her head before
she cautiously asked, “Is Leo—?”
 Amy swiped her margarita glass off the
island, leaning in, and ratting me out.
“Jaxon.”
“Shut up!” Hannah screamed. “When did it
happen, where did it happen, how many
times did it happen?”
I groaned. “I hate you both so much right
now.”
Then the lightbulb went off in Hannah’s
brain. “Oh my God! The opener. Was it
before that? Did you already know? Is that
why you skipped the barbeque? Does my dad
already know? Is that why he’s been in such
a terrible mood?”
Running a mental checklist, I answered,
“Yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes.”
Hannah squealed, “Tell me everything! Is he
as gorgeous below the belt as he is above it? I
need details, woman!”
Amy chimed in, “Yes, do tell Nat.”
 My cheeks flamed. “I don’t know how I’m
supposed to have this conversation sober.”
Hannah protested, “You cannot drop this
bombshell and not give us the deets. It’s only
fair. He looks like a sex god. Is he a sex
god?”
She wasn’t going to let it go, so I grudgingly
responded, “Well, he doled out orgasms like
candy on Halloween. Does that count?”
“Oh my. Well done, Jaxon.” Hannah
pretended to fan herself.
Rubbing my belly, I repeated sarcastically,
“Yeah, well done, Jaxon. A little too well
done.”
“I told you that he had a crush on you!”
Amy was grinning from ear to ear, asking,
“Do you want to tell her, or should I?”
Hannah looked between us. “Tell me what?”
Shaking my head, Amy took that as a sign to
continue, “Our sweet, innocent Natalie
propositioned him.”
 Sizing me up, Hannah nodded approvingly.
“Well, he is sex on a stick.”
Amy called out, “That’s exactly what I
said!”
Reaching out her glass to clink Amy’s,
Hannah called out, “Cheers! Natalie, I swear
your life is so much better than a soap
opera.”
Rolling my eyes, I responded, “I live to
amuse you.”
Taking a sip of her margarita, Hannah
paused, then yelled out, “Oh! So, do you call
Jaxon ‘daddy’ now?”
“Fuck my life.” I placed my head down on
the countertop.
Undeterred, she said, “I’m serious. Is he
over here all the time now? Amy, please tell
me he’s over here, possibly shirtless. Because
if so, I’m moving in. Immediately.”
Propping my head up on my hands, I shut
her down. “He hasn’t been over here at all. I
only told the kids yesterday. They need some
time.”
“So, you’ve been going over to his place,
then? Is he shirtless over there?”
Amy smirked, “No, Nat’s been over here,
hiding.”
Offended, I countered, “I’m not hiding!”
Nodding, she stated it like a fact. “Oh,
you’re hiding.”
Hannah was having none of it. “What?
Shouldn’t he be rubbing your feet or
something?”
Shrugging, I sighed. “It’s not like we’re a
couple, Hannah. It was just the one time.”
“Well, damn, Jaxon! That dude needs to step
up his daddy game.”
The man wasn’t around to defend himself,
so I felt the need to do it. “It’s not that he
doesn’t want to. He said to let him know if I
needed anything. I just haven’t. It’s
awkward.”
 “Well, screw that!” I saw the mischievous
gleam in her eyes seconds before she swiped
my phone off the island.
“Give it back, Hannah!” I jumped off my
stool.
Muttering to herself, she tested a few codes
before jumping up, exclaiming, “Amelia’s
birthday—way too predictable.” She went to
work, typing, saying the words out loud as
she went. “Hey Jaxon, the baby is really
craving ice cream right now. Could you bring
me some? Annnnnnnd send.”
Staring at Hannah, trying to comprehend
what she’d done, I heard Amy snickering
from across the island. Turning on her, I
accused, “Way to have my back, Ames.”
Amy smiled. “Well, someone’s got to do
something to force you two into a room
together. You can’t have this baby and never
talk about it. Hannah might be sneaky, but
knowing Jaxon, his tires are squealing right
now, running to buy out the closest store’s
entire stash of ice cream.”
“Guys, this really isn’t funny.” I groaned.
My phone chimed, still firmly held in
Hannah’s grasp, and she lit up, proclaiming,
“He’s on his way!”
“I no longer have best friends,” I claimed.
“That’s fine. Amy and I will still have each
other. Perks of a best-friend trio.”
I glared at her while she made me my virgin
margarita. She’d finished her first of the
night and was already on to the second when
the doorbell rang. We all knew who it was,
and no one moved. The doorbell rang again,
followed by a couple of knocks.
Shaking my head, I uttered, “Nope, nope,
nope.”
Amy drained her glass. “Would be a real
shame if he thought something happened to
you and called 911.”
 Shoving off my stool, I glared at her. “I
named my first-born daughter after you. I’m
strongly considering changing her name.”
Halfway to the door, I heard Amy call out
behind me, “You do what you’ve gotta do!”
Sending up a silent prayer that this wasn’t
going to be as awkward as I imagined, I took
a breath and opened the door.
Damn, Amy was right. Jaxon was pacing.
Concern etching his face, he cautiously
asked, “Are you all right?”
Sighing, mentally cursing my best friends
for the millionth time that night, I nodded.
“I’m fine. Come on in.”
Closing the door behind him, he held up a
brown paper bag. “I didn’t know what kind
you liked, so I got a bunch of different ones.”
Without warning, Hannah appeared,
snatching the bag from his hands, heading
back toward the kitchen before throwing over
her shoulder, “Thanks for the ice cream,
Jaxon!” Then she turned, adding, “Oh, and
congrats on the super sperm.”
She’s a dead woman.
Jaxon laughed. “Um, thanks?” When she
was gone, his attention shifted to me. “Is she
all right?”
“Oh, yeah, just drunk.” Annoyance laced
every word.
Jaxon flashed me that endearing crooked
smile, and for the first time this evening, I
took a moment to look at him. He was
dressed casually, clearly having a night in
himself before Hannah so rudely threw
herself into the mix. Clad in black joggers,
paired with a soft gray T-shirt capped with a
moto jacket, it should be illegal for a man to
look this good dressed down. Coming from a
world where dressing down was frowned
upon, it was refreshing and, honestly, a turn-
on that he didn’t feel the need to portray
perfection.
 Unsure of how long I’d been staring, his
voice snapped me back to my senses when he
asked, “Does she need a ride home? Coach
would kill me if I let her drive like that.”
“Don’t worry. Girls’ nights always involve a
sleepover.”
He nodded, and we descended back into
silence. Shoving his hands into his pockets,
he shifted on his feet while I nervously bit
my lower lip.
Needing to break the silence, I explained,
“I’m sorry about the ice cream. Hannah got
ahold of my phone.”
His chuckle, deep and low, caused warmth
to flood my belly. “No problem. You know, if
you actually do need anything . . .”
Sighing, I nodded. It wasn’t going to be
easy to let him in. Leo had been charming,
luring me in, making me believe that he
loved me. He’d never loved me. He’d loved
the idea of controlling me, and I was too
stupid to realize it before it was too late.
Now look at me—divorced at twenty-eight
and knocked up by someone I didn’t know
very well. Crushing it at life. Yep, that’s me.
Trying to throw out an olive branch, I
offered, “Um, if you’re around, I have an
ultrasound next week.”
“You’d let me come?” The hope coloring
his words and shining in his whiskey-colored
eyes had guilt swirling in my gut. I hadn’t
been fair to him in keeping my distance. I
needed to do better.
“You’re trying, so I’m trying. This isn’t easy
for me.”
“Yeah,” he breathed out, rubbing his jaw,
which had the tiniest hint of black stubble.
The silence made its presence known once
more until Hannah called from down the
hallway, “Please tell me it wasn’t this
awkward when you guys fucked!”
 My eyes slammed shut in embarrassment as
my face flamed, and I groaned, “Oh. My.
God.”
The sound of Jaxon’s hearty laughter
shocked me out of my mortified state enough
to open my eyes. I found myself gawking at
him. Was he not at all embarrassed by
Hannah’s drunken outbursts? I was ready to
crawl into a hole and die.
“Are. You. Laughing?” I asked in disbelief.
He smirked. “It was kinda funny. You have
to be able to laugh at yourself sometimes.”
“You and I are not compatible.”
Then, Jaxon winked at me. He fucking
winked at me. Just then, gummy bear started
going wild.
I get it, gummy bear. He’s adorable, but
that’s dangerous. We have to be careful.
Hannah was clearly over her limit because
next, she yelled, “Take off your shirt!”
 Spinning around, I screamed, “Jesus, Amy!
Cut her off!”
Amy poked her head out from behind the
wall of the kitchen. “Why would I cut her off
when we’re getting a show?”
“A show?” Amy pointed behind me, and my
jaw dropped when I turned around. Jaxon
had removed his jacket and was making a
show of crossing his arms and pulling his
shirt over his head.
Was it me, or was this happening in slow
motion?
Jaxon’s muscled torso rippled as he lifted
his arms, and I had to stop myself from
reaching out to trace the come-fuck-me lines
that disappeared beneath the waistband of his
pants. Why did he have to be so gorgeous? It
wasn’t fair. In a world that had demanded
perfection of me, he achieved it so
effortlessly.
 Shirt in hand, arms outstretched, he asked,
“Happy, Hannah?”
Not being able to tear my eyes away from
his half-naked body, I heard her from behind
me breathe out, “Damn, I gotta get me a
hockey player. Well done, Natalie.”
“Okay, time to go!” Without letting him get
his shirt back on, I reached for the door and
shoved him out. “Thanks for the ice cream.”
His nipples hardened into rose-colored
points when the cold air reached them, and I
found myself thinking they looked sharp
enough to cut glass, but he didn’t flinch,
holding my eyes. “You’ll let me know about
the appointment?”
“Yep. Night!” I slammed the door right in
his face. Counting to three in my head, I took
a deep breath and turned to face the traitors.
There they stood, drinks still in hand,
grinning from ear to ear. “Are you two
kidding me?”
 Hannah burst into giggles, stumbling her
way to a living room chair and falling into it.
“He actually took off his shirt!”
Amy began laughing. “You know, I did not
see that coming. I think I really like him.
He’s fun.”
“Not. Funny,” I forced out through gritted
teeth.
Hannah reclined, closing her eyes. How
many drinks had she had? “Look on the
bright side, Nat. You slept with that perfect
specimen. I bet if you asked nicely, you could
do it again.”
Her breathing deepened, signaling she’d
fallen asleep, so I turned to Amy. “Why are
we friends with her again?” She had a smirk
on her face, clearly weighing her words
again. Unable to take it a moment longer, I
snapped, “Spill it, Amy.”
Taking a sip of her drink, she swallowed
before replying, “I was thinking . . . If you
hadn’t become friends with Hannah all those
years ago, you’d have never met Jaxon.”
That stopped me in my tracks.
Amy was right. So many little things had to
happen exactly right for me to end up in this
situation. What if I’d never met Hannah?
Would I be living in some strange alternate
reality? I didn’t like believing in fate—
because that would mean I was meant for all
the pain and suffering that came from a
decade with Leo—but there were too many
factors that combined perfectly to create this
path.
Knowing Hannah.
Jaxon going to the Comets.
Moving in next door to Jaxon.
Jameson’s ball.
The idea that this baby with Jaxon was
somehow ‘meant to be’ was overwhelming. I
allowed myself the tiniest feeling of hope
that maybe, just maybe, this would end better
than the doomsday scenario in my mind.
Only time would tell.

OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 9

OceanofPDF.com
 Jaxon

NATALIE WAS KEEPING ME at a distance.

That was to be expected, considering she was
struggling, dealing with invisible demons.
Even knowing it wasn’t my fault, it still
stung because I cared about her, even if she
didn’t know. The other night when she’d
texted asking for ice cream, I thought that
was the opening I’d been hoping for—only to
find out that her friends were drunk and
having some fun.
It led to her inviting me to the ultrasound
next week, so that was where I targeted my
focus.
Buying the top-rated baby books online, I
spent all of my spare time reading. I burned
through them quickly, learning all that I
could, not only about what was going on with
Natalie and the pregnancy, but with my baby
—our baby.
At just about seventeen weeks, our baby
was the size of a turnip. You should have
seen the weird stares I got in the grocery
store for picking up and examining turnips.
I marveled at the fact that it took me weeks,
sometimes months, to rehab from an injury
sustained in the game. Yet our baby had
grown all their major organs in that same
amount of time.
 Was Natalie beginning to feel those first
flutters? And when they became more
pronounced, would she ever feel comfortable
letting me feel those movements?
I wanted to be there for her like my mom
had suggested, but she wasn’t letting me in.
Maybe this ultrasound appointment could be
the first step.
Texting earlier that day, I’d offered to drive
her to the appointment, but she’d declined,
replying it was better that we not be seen
together. While I respected her wishes, it
seemed unlikely that the pair of us would go
unseen. At the very least, the ultrasound tech
would notice, but I suppose they were bound
by HIPPA laws. Either way, I told her I’d
meet her there.
As I drove to the office, I noted it was on
the opposite side of town. Did she do this on
purpose, to be further from our community?
What if something happened and she was too
far away to get to her doctor quickly?
I’d never had to worry about anyone but
myself, but now there were two other people
I was responsible for. It was an
uncomfortable new feeling, and I wasn’t sure
I liked it. I wanted to protect them both from
everything and was finding that to be
impossible. So much was out of my control
right now.
Throwing on a ball cap and sunglasses to
help disguise my identity, I entered the
building, checking in at the front desk for
Remington. The receptionist either had no
idea who I was, or my disguise was sufficient
enough, because she didn’t spare me more
than a glance. Standing from the desk, she
opened the receiving door and motioned
down the hallway, telling me a room number.
Finding my way to room number four, I
knocked on the closed door before cracking it
open, whispering, “Natalie?”
The room was dark, but I heard her soft
voice. “I’m in here.”
Slipping into the room, it was so dark I that
was temporarily blinded. Removing my
sunglasses, the room brightened somewhat,
but it was still dim. Natalie was lying on
what looked like a bed, and on the other side
of her was a massive computer with lots of
tubes and attachments.
I am in way over my head.
I must have been standing there for a while
because she motioned to the chair next to the
bed. “You can sit down if you want.”
God, will it always be this awkward?
Sitting in the offered chair, I swallowed
before asking cautiously, “How have you
been feeling?”
Even in the darkness, her eyes seemed to
stare into my soul. “Good. Better. Thank you
for asking.”
 “That’s good.” Trying to lighten the mood, I
offered, “I’m always available for a late-
night ice cream run.”
That earned me a light laugh, and my heart
soared.
Natalie covered her face with her hands.
“That was so embarrassing. I’m so sorry.”
I couldn’t help but chuckle in response. She
was adorable when she was mortified. “It’s
fine. I’m used to Hannah by now.”
“You’d think I would be too, but a few
drinks made her extra bold.”
The memory of my mini striptease brought
a smile to my lips. I loved that I could shock
her. Before I could say anything else, there
was a knock on the door, and both of our
heads turned to watch the ultrasound tech
walk in.
If there were any weird vibes in the room,
she pretended like she didn’t pick up on
them, her smile bright, tone chipper. “Hello!
Are we excited to get a peek at baby today?”
Just like that, Natalie turned on her polished
façade, smiling. “Yes, we are very excited.”
The tech moved to sit at the machine on the
other side, clicking through a bunch of
screens and asking a variety of questions.
Name, birthdate—make a mental note of
January 28th—date of conception. Then she
asked what number pregnancy this was for
her.
“Fifth,” Natalie answered.
Fifth?
I began using my fingers to count, trying to
add that up. One was Amelia, two was
Jameson, three was Beau, and four was this
baby. Who was number five?
Natalie caught me counting on my fingers,
quietly explaining, “I lost one. It’s not a big
deal.”
 How was that not a big deal? My own
mother still mourned each one of her losses
between me and my younger brother.
I wanted to know her, but she kept putting
on a front, pretending she was strong. No one
could possibly be that strong. She’d been to
hell and back, and I’d barely scratched the
surface of all that had happened to her. Each
time she spoke, I learned it was worse than I
could have ever imagined.
While I was stewing on that, the tech asked,
“Are we interested in finding out the sex
today? If baby will cooperate, of course.”
Knowing full well that I was not in any way
calling the shots when it came to this
situation, I looked to Natalie in question. She
looked back. “What do you want to do?”
Whoa, was not expecting that.
“Me?” I pointed a finger at my chest in
shock.
 She shrugged from her prone position. “I’ve
never found out before. It wasn’t allowed.
This is your first baby, so you can decide.
I’m fine either way, as long as it’s healthy.”
This was huge. She was letting me decide
something for the first time. What did I want
to do? I was not prepared to make this
decision today.
Don’t think. Trust your gut. It’s gotten you
this far.
“Yes, let’s find out,” I blurted.
Natalie smiled. “Okay.” Then she turned to
the tech. “I guess we are finding out.”
The tech grinned. “Always so fun! Let’s get
a peek at this little one.”
Natalie lifted her loose-fitting shirt,
revealing a tiny bump right below her belly
button. I couldn’t help but stare. That was my
baby in there. Mine. It was becoming more
real with each passing day, but seeing it
growing only cemented that fact. This was
happening. I wasn’t dreaming.
The tech squirted some gel on Natalie’s
exposed skin and turned on her machine,
using the wand to glide through the gel. The
TV screen on the wall opposite the bed came
to life, and I was transfixed. On that screen
was a black-and-white moving image of our
baby. I could see their head, their arms, their
legs.
It was a real person.
“Hey there, gummy bear,” Natalie
whispered beside me.
Tearing my gaze away from the screen, I
asked, “Gummy bear?”
Even in the darkness, I could see her cheeks
darken. “That’s what I’ve been calling it. You
know, because they kinda look like a gummy
bear at the beginning?” When I didn’t
respond immediately, she quickly added, “I
know it’s stupid.”
 I didn’t like that. Was she always so quick to
backtrack? She’d done nothing wrong.
I whispered, just soft enough for her to hear,
“It’s not stupid.”
Her eyes locked with mine for a split second
before a whooshing sound filled the room.
Looking to the screen, I could see a fluid
motion right in the center of the baby’s chest.
Emotion clogged my voice as I gathered the
courage to ask, “Is—is that—?”
“That’s your baby’s heartbeat,” the tech
answered.
There wasn’t a name for the rush of
emotions that hit me square in the chest.
Seeing the life I’d created was one thing, but
hearing that heartbeat? My world would
never be the same, and I welcomed this new
chapter with open arms.
“Wow,” I breathed out.
I could hear the smile in Natalie’s voice,
“Pretty incredible, huh?”
 All I could do was nod, my eyes glued to
the screen. It was the most beautiful thing I’d
ever seen. Watching awestruck, the screen
filled with different body parts as the tech
created lines to measure each perfect part.
“Is it healthy?” I dared to ask.
The tech kept moving around, but I heard
her loud and clear when she said, “Yes, she
is.”
My gaze pulled away from the screen to
stare at her in disbelief. “She?”
“She,” the tech repeated. “You’re going to
have a little girl.”
A girl.
My world shifted. The idea of a little girl
with Natalie’s chocolate eyes and my dark
hair warmed something deep within me.
A girl.
Would she play pretend and have fake tea
parties, or would she be a tomboy, more into
sports than girly things? Either way, with
crystal clarity, I could envision taking her out
on the ice for the first time.
My excitement bubbled over, and without
thinking, I reached over, grasping Natalie’s
hand, leaning over her, and placing a kiss on
her forehead, saying out loud, “A girl!”
Natalie laughed—really laughed—in
response. The same genuine laugh that drew
me to her all those years ago, which had
quickly become my favorite sound.
She squeezed my hand, asking, “Are you
happy?”
Unable to hold back my own laughter, I
squeezed back, relishing that she hadn’t
instantly pulled away. “So happy. I have no
idea what to do with a girl, but I can’t wait
for her to wrap me around her little finger.”
Before I could stop myself, I added, “Just
like her mother.”
The tech was totally oblivious, clearly
accustomed to scanning for real couples
whose baby was a result of their love for
each other. Natalie knew our relationship
status—or lack thereof—and her eyes went
wide. I was so caught up in the elation of
finding out we were having a daughter that
I’d accidentally shown my hand.
Deciding to be proactive before she had the
chance to reject me, I slowly removed my
hand from hers, asking, “Are you happy?”
Chewing her lip, she responded, “It’s been a
long time since I had a little girl. Amelia
changed my world. I guess both of my girls
are up to that task.”
“We’re all done here.” The screen turned
off, and the tech cleaned Natalie off with a
towel before allowing her to lower her shirt.
A few more clicks on the machine and a long
strip printed out. Handing the strip to Natalie,
the tech added, “Some pictures of your baby.
Everything looks perfect. Congrats, you two.
Take as much time as you need before you
leave the room.”
In an instant, she was gone, and we were
left alone in the darkened room. Natalie sat
up and threw her legs over the side of the
bed. Out of reflex, I offered my hand to help
her down, and thankfully, she took it. I
wanted to place her in a protective bubble.
The urge to protect her with everything I had
was overwhelming—not just because she
was carrying my baby.
Once standing, she looked down at the strip
of pictures before looking back up at me,
timid. “Would you like one?”
I nodded. “Yes, please.”
Natalie glanced around the room. “I don’t
have any scissors on me. Maybe I can drop
one off later?”
Taking a chance, I proposed, “Maybe we
could meet at my house when we get back? If
you don’t have anything else going on, of
course. It would be nice if we could talk for a
bit. We haven’t been able to do that much.”
I watched her weigh the idea, but
eventually, she agreed. “Okay.”
“I’ll go out first. See you there. Drive
safely.”
Leaving the office and getting behind the
wheel of my SUV, all I could think about was
how I would never let someone hurt my little
girl the way her mother had been hurt. I
would throw down my life before she
suffered one ounce of pain.
My little girl.

Knock knock knock.

I’d been sitting—no, who was I kidding—
I’d been pacing for the last hour, waiting for
Natalie to join me. That was just long enough
to realize she had the power to break me. I
would forever pine for her, but what if she
never wanted me back? It would kill me to
stand idly by. Especially if—or when—she
decided to date again. I’d have a front-row
seat to every man she brought around our
daughter, and I knew I’d hate every single
one simply for the fact that I wasn’t him.
Opening the door, I didn’t have time to
blink before she walked right in without an
invitation.
Well, that’s new.
Closing the door, I turned to find her pacing
the room.
Something wasn’t right. What changed in
the last hour and a half since I’d left her at
the doctor’s office?
Treating her like a cornered animal, I kept
my distance. “Natalie? Is everything all
right?” Her eyes were wild, not focusing on
anything. She was beginning to scare me.
“Natalie, tell me what happened,” I begged.
 When her eyes finally focused on me, I
could see how rapid her breathing had
become. “I think someone was following me.
At least until the gates.”
Taking a moment to process that, I repeated,
“Following you. Okay, who?”
She shook her head. “I don’t know. Could
be anyone.”
I was trying to figure out if this was
paranoia or a real threat. “Don’t you have
security? Can’t they handle this?”
Good thing I didn’t have carpeting in this
part of my house because she’d have worn
right through it. She was downright
panicked, shaking her head. “No, the kids do.
Liam does, too. I don’t often go out without
them, but even then, I’m not the one they’re
there to protect. I’m not worth it.”
Did she genuinely think she was unworthy
of protection? “Maybe it’s time to think
about hiring some for yourself.”
 Natalie got that spooked look, her eyes
widening in panic. “No! We can’t bring more
people into this.”
“This?”
Motioning her hand between us, she
explained, “You, me, the baby.”
I promised her we’d keep it quiet for as long
as she needed, but it still hurt that she wanted
to hide me. Even if I understood her
reasoning—that her kids needed to come first
—I couldn’t help but have feelings about it.
“What do you want to do?”
Continuing to pace, she muttered to herself
instead of to me, “I have to hide.”
I felt the intense need to rein her in. The
stress wasn’t good for her or the baby.
“Hide? Hide how?”
Startling, Natalie realized she wasn’t alone.
“Oh!” Her steps slowed. She was clearly
working through whatever was going on in
her mind. “I think I have to stay in my house
from now on.”
“Okay . . . What about doctor’s
appointments?” I asked.
Chewing on that for a minute, she mused,
“Maybe I could hide in your trunk? No one is
going to follow you.”
She’d clearly lost all reason, so I reacted
purely on instinct. “No, you can’t hide in my
trunk!”
Natalie flinched, and I instantly regretted
raising my voice. I hadn’t meant to, but
thinking about the safety ramifications of her
unrestrained, curled up in my trunk, drove
fear into my heart. She wasn’t making any
sense. I needed her to slow down and think
rationally.
Softening, I apologized. “I’m sorry, I didn’t
mean to yell. I was only thinking about how
unsafe that would be for you, for our baby
girl.”
 Her body relaxed a fraction. “Oh, right.”
She thought for a minute more, her breathing
slowing gradually.
That’s it, baby, you have to calm down.
“How about you sit in the backseat and
scooch down while passing through the
gates? Fully buckled,” I offered.
Am I really entertaining this?
My more level-headed offer seemed to
satisfy her, and she finally stopped pacing.
Thank God.
Natalie looked at me with those big brown
eyes. “That could work.”
With one more attempt to bring us back to
sanity, I asked, “Are you seriously going to
hide in your house, for what . . . Another five
months?”
Deadly calm, she was determined. “I will do
anything to protect my kids.”
Fair enough.
 Knowing one of those children was now
mine, how could I argue with that? It was
understandable that a parent would want to
protect their child. Hell, I already knew I’d
throw myself in front of moving traffic for
my unborn daughter. But it was unacceptable
that Natalie always came last, throwing on a
brave front like it didn’t matter.
It was now my job to put her first, and I’d
spend every day showing her that she was
worth it. Even if she never chose me back.
Fully up to the task, I begged her, “Natalie,
please sit down. Let me get you something to
drink.”
Her mind was still racing. I could tell by her
slow, dazed walk to the couch. Without
hesitation, I practically ran into the kitchen,
grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge
before returning to where she sat. Sinking
down beside her, she took the bottle I
offered, drinking some before melting into
the couch. The episode had clearly drained
her.
Seeing the worry on my face, she patted my
hand. “It’s fine. I’m fine. It’s not a big deal.”
Not a big deal.
There were those words again. The same
ones she’d used to brush off her miscarriage.
I needed her to know I was here. She needed
help shouldering her heavy load before it
crushed her. I wanted to be here, to share in
her burdens.
“Sometimes, it is a big deal,” I whispered,
grasping the hand that rested on top of mine.
“You want to tell me what happened?”
Natalie knew exactly what I was asking and
sighed. “Do you really want to know? It’s in
the past. I can’t change it, and neither can
you.”
Knowing that I couldn’t force her, I needed
her to know that I cared. “We may not be
able to change it, but that doesn’t mean it
wasn’t a big deal. I can’t even imagine what
you went through.”
Blowing out a breath, she replied, more to
herself than to me, “Been through worse.”
She caught herself, quickly adding, “It’s a
long story.”
“I’ve got time. For you.” Leaning back on
the couch, my body language indicated I was
in no hurry.
Sighing, she finally gave in. “Well, I’m sure
you’ve noticed Amelia and Jameson are very
close in age. Ten months, to be exact.” I
knew they were close, but not quite that
close, so I nodded, allowing her to continue,
“We had our one girl and our one boy—the
heir and, technically, the spare—so Leo
decided we were done. It was convenient, for
him at least. We’d ‘knocked them out’
quickly and could move on to more
‘important’ things.”
 To show I was listening and caring, for that
matter, I asked, “And you were how old at
that time?”
“Just turned twenty, not even legal to drink
in my home country.”
“That must have been hard.”
Misunderstanding my words, she rushed,
“Oh, no! Obviously, babies are demanding,
but I wouldn’t change them for the world.”
Shaking my head, I clarified, “No. I meant
having that decision made for you so young.”
Nodding, her eyes drifted downward. “It
was. They were a handful so close in age, but
I cherished every minute with them. They
still are my whole world. I figured that
maybe he would change his mind down the
road, but he never did. He—”
She paused, clearly uncomfortable, so I
prompted, “It’s okay if you don’t want to tell
me.”
 “He was sneaky and arrogant, confident that
he could cheat the system in a way. Finding
out when I had my periods from the maids,
he would then strategically choose when to
sleep with me based on that. His way of
getting around using protection while still
avoiding getting me pregnant. What he
hadn’t counted on was that because I was
underweight, I’d started having longer
stretches in between, which threw off his
math.”
Every muscle in my body tensed. I knew
something terrible was coming, and through
clenched teeth, I managed, “What
happened?”
“That one was Beau. Leo was sure he
couldn’t be wrong, so it only made sense to
blame me.”
“That you’d tricked him?” I knew Natalie
would never do that.
 “No. That I’d cheated on him, and the baby
wasn’t his. He still insinuates that Beau isn’t
his because that would mean he’d made an
error somewhere, which was impossible in
his mind. He wasn’t the best guy before, but
everything got worse after that. So, when I
found out I was pregnant again before Beau
had even turned one, I was terrified of what
he would do.”
My fists clenched involuntarily. “Did he hit
you?”
Natalie shook her head. “It never quite got
to that point, but there was enough of a
physical show—breaking and throwing
things—that I feared at some point it would
turn into physical abuse. Liam blew the
whistle to their parents, letting them know all
that was happening behind closed doors and
that they needed to intervene. So, when Leo
went out of town for business, their mom
helped me pack up the kids, got me a jet, and
told me they’d do whatever it took to protect
their grandchildren. That meant coming
home and not telling him about the baby.”
She sighed. “It didn’t matter anyway. A
couple of weeks after I got back here, to
Connecticut, I lost it. I didn’t even cry. I
thought to myself, that’s one more innocent
life he can’t get to now. I know that sounds
terrible.”
“I’m sorry.” That was the only thing I could
think to say, but it sounded flat. How could
sorry ever be enough?
She smiled sadly. “Don’t be. Without that
angel baby, I wouldn’t have gotten out. Who
knows if I ever would have? They had a
purpose, even if it wasn’t to be here with me
now.”
Even after all the sadness she shared, I
found myself smiling. “Everything happens
for a reason.”
 Her eyes snapped to mine, and I could see a
mix of emotions swirling in their brown
depths—hope, fear, and something I couldn’t
quite name. Deciding to change the subject,
focusing on the here and now, I asked,
“What’s next for baby girl?”
Placing a protective hand over her tiny
belly, Natalie looked down. “Well, she can’t
stay baby girl forever, can she? Have you
thought about names?”
I shook my head. “I didn’t think it was my
place.”
Scoffing, she remarked, “Of course it’s your
place. She’s your daughter, too, last that I
checked.”
“Were you thinking of any?” She’d caught
me so off guard that I put it back on her.
Nodding, she began listing off names,
“Eloise. Cecilia. Sophia. Charlotte.”
“Charlie!” I called out without thinking.
 Furrowing her brow, Natalie asked,
“Charlie?”
“A nickname for Charlotte. I think that’s the
one I like best.”
“Charlie. Charlie,” she tested it on her
tongue. “You know, none of my other kids
have nicknames, wanting to break a little bit
from the generation before them all having
one. Might be fun. Charlotte it is—Charlie
for short. What about a middle name?
Charlotte came from my list, so it’s only fair
for you to suggest a name.”
Girl names.
Think, Jaxon.
I’d been surrounded by men most of my
life, except my mother. And my grandmother.
That’s it!
Smiling softly, thinking of all the memories
I had baking in the kitchen with my paternal
grandmother on sunny and snowy days alike,
I replied, “How about Rose? That was my
grandma’s name.”
“Charlotte Rose Slate. Not half bad.”
“Slate?” I hadn’t been expecting that.
“She certainly can’t be a Remington.”
She made a good point.
My voice was clogged with emotion.
“Thank you.”
Natalie was only giving me one small piece,
but it felt like she’d given me the world.
That’s when I knew that I could do this. If I
kept showing up, being dependable, she’d
keep giving me more pieces until I had the
whole. I just had to be patient.
Natalie shrugged. “It’s the least I can do, but
I have something to ask of you.”
“Anything.”
“I told my kids not long ago, and they’ve
had some time to process. If you want to be
around more, we should probably tell them
you’re the father.” Chewing on her lower lip,
I could tell she was nervous.
“They don’t know?”
“I’m taking it slow. They’ve been through a
lot this year. I told them about the baby and
that it would have a different dad. But
haven’t told them yet that it was you. They
like you. I’m hoping they won’t be terribly
upset you’re going to be their little sister’s
dad.”
Mentally, I ran through my upcoming game
schedule. “I am out of town this weekend,
but I’ll be back on Tuesday. I can let you
know when I get home, and we can pick a
day that works. How about that?”
“Sounds great.” Natalie stood, and I
scrambled to my feet as she headed for the
door. “I better get home. Time to start
working on my hermit skills.”
Watching her walk away, I asked again,
“Are you sure you want to do that?”
 Throwing a thumbs-up over her shoulder,
she called out, “Yep!” Opening the door, she
left without another word.
It wasn’t exactly healthy for her to
essentially become a recluse, but I didn’t
have much say in the matter. At least I knew
where to find her, but that likely meant Liam
would always be around. Even knowing that
he would be watching me like a hawk, it
didn’t matter. I had no intention of setting
even one pinky toe out of line when it came
to Natalie or her kids. My mind was made up
that I would be there for all of them in any
way they needed me.
They were mine to protect now.

OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 10

OceanofPDF.com
 Natalie

TODAY’S THE DAY.

Today, Jaxon was coming over so we could
finally tell my kids know who the father of
their baby sister was. They didn’t know it
was a baby sister yet, and I kept that to
myself, hoping it might help soften the blow.
I wasn’t sure how they would take it. They
all had such vastly different personalities.
Amelia was fiercely loyal and protective, so
much like Liam. Jameson tended to be
sensitive, whereas Beau was so carefree. He
was untouched by all the darkness
surrounding us before moving home.
Grateful seemed almost too light a term to
describe how I felt about him never knowing
the monster his father was.
The doorbell rang, and a quick glance at my
phone confirmed that Jaxon was outside.
We’d discussed him arriving early so we
could have a little time alone before the kids
got home from school.
Opening the door, I felt flutters in my belly
that were not from Charlie.
Jaxon was seemingly fresh from the shower.
His hair, still damp around the edges, looked
even darker than its usual midnight black, if
that was even possible. Dark jeans hugged
his thighs, his torso encased in a tight black
henley. Damn, did this man ever not look
incredible?
Down, girl. You’re going to be dealing with
him every day for the next eighteen years.
Sex is what got you here. More is only going
to complicate things further.
Chalking it up to pregnancy hormones, I
shook it off, welcoming him in. “We’ve got
about an hour before the kids get home. Want
something to drink?”
Jaxon slid off his shoes at the door,
answering, “Water is fine.” As he followed
me into the kitchen, he looked around. “This
place is incredible. Are you sure we live in
the same neighborhood? Your house must be
at least twice the size of mine.”
Laughing, I teased Jaxon, “Well, a whole
family lives here, not just a bachelor. We
need the room.”
Feigning offense, he countered, “Hey! There
will be room for Charlie at my place. It’s not
like I live in a shack.”
“No, definitely not a shack. Shacks don’t
have pools.” I winked, finding myself
loosening up in his presence.
“I’d always wondered how you managed to
have your entire support system living in this
house without tripping over each other, but I
get it now.”
The house was massive. At 8,000 square
feet, featuring seven bedrooms and seven and
a half bathrooms, it was practically a fortress.
I remember protesting that it was too large
years ago when Liam had first pulled up to
this house, but he’d insisted. It might be big,
but it worked well for the six—soon to be
seven—of us.
Grabbing a bottle of water and a diet cola
out of the fridge, I mused, “I wouldn’t have
survived without Liam and Amy. They
dropped everything to move in here with me,
helping to take care of the kids when I
couldn’t. Amy still works outside of the
home, but Liam turned his life upside down
for us. I don’t deserve them.”
Pushing the bottle of water across the island
to him, I cracked open the can of diet cola.
Almost instinctively, Jaxon blurted out,
“Should you be drinking that?”
I felt the hair stand up on the back of my
neck, reflexively yelling, “Excuse me?”
Regret instantly filled my body when I saw
the look of shock on his face.
Throwing his hands up in defense, he
backtracked, “Whoa. I’m sorry.”
Rubbing my face, I sighed, trying hard to
shake the shadow of Leo that had passed
over me when he’d said that. “No, I’m sorry.
It’s not you. Being told what to do is a major
trigger for me, and I lashed out without
thinking. I shouldn’t have yelled.”
Compassion filled his handsome face
without a trace of pity at my admission. “No,
you’re right. I shouldn’t have acted so bossy.
That stuff is basically poison on a normal
day, but I’ve read about how some of the
ingredients can be potentially dangerous to
unborn babies.”
He read the baby books? Who is he?
Leo had never bothered, had never cared
enough. He’d told me it was my job as the
mother to figure it all out. Everything inside
of me was screaming that Jaxon was
different, but that didn’t mean I was ready to
trust again. Apparently, I didn’t have the best
track record.
Finding my voice, I lowered my eyes,
embarrassed. “And here I was, thinking you
were trying to get me off the caffeine.”
Nodding, he admitted, “Well, there’s that
too, but certainly less of an issue.”
Guilt flooded my body. At least for now, I
was the sole caregiver for our unborn
daughter, and I owed it to him to take care of
both myself and her. Suddenly, the gravity of
his words hit me. He was depending on me
just as much as Charlotte right now.
Walking to the sink, tipping the can, I
watched as the contents emptied down the
drain. “You win. Water for me, too, I guess.”
“It’s not about winning or losing, Natalie,”
he said softly from behind, causing me to
spin around to face him.
Wait, it’s not?
My whole adult life had become a
battlefield. Everything was about winning or
losing. If I was being honest, I only knew
what it was like to be on the losing end. I
didn’t know what to do with someone who
didn’t view every disagreement or argument
as something to be won and then lorded over
the other.
“What is it about?” I asked, genuinely
curious.
 Staring seemingly straight into my soul, he
replied, “Taking care of you.”
Breathe, Natalie.
Feeling the air rush back into my lungs, I
couldn’t find the words to respond to that.
This was uncharted territory. I had no idea
how to handle him. I was used to being
controlled—trying desperately to survive—
struggling to take care of myself and my
children without help from my partner.
Maybe I’d been too badly burned by Leo,
but alarms sounded in my brain, warning me
that there was no way any man could be this
good. Too good to be true was what he was,
and I would forever be searching around the
corner, waiting for the other shoe to drop and
crush me as it had always done in the past.
Uncomfortable, nervous laughter left my
lips. “Okay, moving on.”
Nodding, Jaxon didn’t press further,
changing the subject easily. “Today I’m
‘meeting’ your kids, but do you think you
could find some time to meet my parents?
They’d like to meet you.”
Jaxon was asking a lot, but not more than he
was due. I was carrying their grandchild,
even if every cell in my body screamed that I
needed to preserve our little bubble.
“Can’t they look me up on the internet?”
Cringing, I thought better of my suggestion.
“Maybe that’s not the best idea.”
“It doesn’t have to be anything big. They’re
coming into town during the Christmas break
and are planning to stay a little past that for
some of my and Braxton’s games. We could
maybe have a simple dinner at my place. Just
us.”
“Just us,” I repeated. “Who’s Braxton?”
“Oh, he’s my kid brother.” He chuckled.
“You have a brother?” I was realizing there
was so much I still didn’t know about Jaxon.
“Yeah, he plays for Hartford State.”
 I did some mental math. Jaxon was in his
late twenties but had a brother still in college.
“So, he’s a good bit younger than you? Must
be nice having your brother living in the
same city. Especially for your parents to
visit.”
“He’s a freshman, a little over eight years
younger than me. I left home when he was
still a kid, so it’s nice that he wanted to
follow me here to New England. Getting the
chance to see his games is great. Especially
since I missed so much when he was growing
up.”
From the way he spoke about his brother, I
could tell how much he loved his family. I
had Amy and Liam—along with long-
distance support from my in-laws—but it
was nothing compared to what he described.
A real family.
A family my daughter now belonged to.
 There was no option. I had to make this
work for her.
Giving in, I agreed, “All right, a dinner after
Christmas.”
“What about your parents?” It was an
innocent question, but I stiffened at the
mention of the people who’d raised me.
Sure, let’s open that can of worms.
“Nope.” I hoped he could read that my one-
word response meant I didn’t want to talk
about it.
No such luck.
Confused, he asked, “Nope?”
“Nope,” I repeated. “I don’t speak to my
parents anymore. Ace and Amber are the
closest things I have to parents.”
“The fourth Moreau daughter,” he said
almost to himself.
“Yep, that’s me.”
“What happened?” Jaxon’s voice dropped to
barely above a whisper. He was beginning to
realize that I walked away from people
who’d hurt me in the past.
Gripping the countertop, I let out a heavy
breath. “Oh, you know, same old story. My
parents wanted the fame and power that came
along with my marriage to Leo. When I
pushed back, being only seventeen years old
when he’d proposed, they wouldn’t hear of it.
They used guilt, declaring they’d given me
everything and raised me as a debutante—
therefore, my role was to be on the arm of a
powerful man. My only value to them was
what my marriage could gain them. Having
worked tirelessly to build my dad’s business,
they were still outsiders regarding certain
social circles. Becoming associated with
royalty, even if only by marriage, was
perceived as an opportunity to open those
doors. Spoiler alert—the doors didn’t open
for them. All it did was wreck my life and
ultimately cost them a daughter.”
 Jaxon silently stared at me, but it didn’t
bother me. It sounded like he had this
perfect, loving family, and I simply didn’t. It
made sense that he couldn’t comprehend all
I’d been through, all the people who’d let me
down. I was glad he would never know any
of that hurt. He wasn’t broken like I was.
“Jesus, Natalie,” he breathed out. “I
remember how happy you seemed when I
first met you when Amelia was a baby. Were
you ever truly happy? Or were you that good
at hiding behind a smile?”
Poor guy. He looked like I’d just told him
Santa wasn’t real. I softened the blow a little.
“Yeah, but only for a little while. When
Amelia and Jameson were babies, they lit up
my world. I know I’m jaded. I do. I’ve gotten
used to being let down by almost everyone in
my life, so I don’t expect anything different.”
When Jaxon rounded the island, my fight-
or-flight response activated, but I wasn’t sure
which way it was going to go. He inched
closer—so close I could smell the notes of
bergamot and amber wafting off his skin—as
he said, low, “I’ll never let you down.”
My chest tightened, and it became harder to
breathe as my brain raced for something to
say or do. The way Jaxon said those words
sounded like a promise. Unfortunately for
him, I was all too aware that promises could
be broken, leaving me shattered along with
them. I wanted to believe him, but I’d been
burned too many times.
Thankfully, I was saved by the sound of the
garage opening down the hallway, mere
seconds before three sets of footsteps
thundered through the door, headed right for
us.
Instantly sobered, I pulled back from Jaxon
quickly. “The kids are home.”
I managed to put enough space between us
before my two oldest children walked into
the kitchen, searching for an after-school
snack. The hormones snuck up on me, and
looking at those two sweet faces, knowing all
that I’d done—how I’d changed our lives—
tears threatened to spill from my eyes.
Amelia immediately sensed something was
off, her eyes going straight to Jaxon standing
less than six feet from me. Looking between
the two of us, she asked, “Mom?”
Plastering on my fake mom smile, the one
I’d used countless times over the years to try
and make everything seem okay, I deflected.
“How was school?”
Jameson ignored the exchange, walking
right up to Jaxon. “Hey, Jaxon! What are you
doing here?”
Jaxon fist-bumped him. “Hey, bud.”
Amelia narrowed her eyes at Jaxon. “Yeah,
what are you doing here?”
She was in full-on protection mode. This
would not be easy.
 I quickly chastised her, “Amelia Faith!
Don’t be rude. Jaxon is a guest in our home.
Is that how we greet our guests?”
Not softening her stare on him, she did as
was expected of a proper princess, formally
greeting him. “Hello, Jaxon Slate. Welcome
to our home.”
Lips pressed together, I had to hold back a
snort. Oh boy, was she trouble.
There was the tiniest hint of sarcasm in her
tone, as she continued staring at him like he
was a bug she wanted to squash beneath her
shoe. She suspected why he was here. That
much was clear.
Breaking the tension, Beau bounded down
the hall, spotting Jaxon, running to him, and
calling out, “Hockey!”
I was not prepared for the tender way Jaxon
dropped down to his knees to be at eye level
with Beau, tousling his hair the same way I
always did. “That’s right, little man! I play
hockey. How about if I bring some little
sticks and nets the next time I come over, and
we can all play together?” Then he locked
eyes with me. “If that’s all right with your
mom, of course.”
Beau’s tiny face lit up. “Yes, please! Please,
Mommy?”
Jameson chimed in, “That would be so cool!
Can we, Mom?”
How could I say no to the joy on my boys’
faces? Jaxon had no idea he’d just given me
the most precious gift, seeing them so happy.
Now, if only we could get Amelia there, I’d
want for nothing else.
Tapping my chin, I pretended to think.
“Well . . . As long as you promise not to
break anything.”
Both boys jumped up and down, chanting,
“We promise! We promise!”
“All right, then.”
 Smiles lit up their faces, and my heart
squeezed, knowing that Jaxon did this. He
had put those smiles there. He had gotten
down on their level and thought of something
they’d like, making plans and promises. He
was acting more like a father than their own,
not caring that he barely knew them from
passing interactions over the years.
Rising to his feet, looking me right in the
eyes, he said, “It’s a date then.”
Is it hot in here?
The implication in his words was deep, and
I felt heat rush to my face. No, it was my
imagination. He couldn’t want to date me. I
carried too much baggage and was too
damaged for someone like him. Every time I
gave him a piece of my past, he’d stared at
me in shock, almost unable to comprehend
some of the horrors I’d experienced.
Jaxon was a good guy. If anything, he was
trying to do the “right thing”.
 I didn’t need to become an obligation, part
of another forced relationship doomed to fail.
Would he be here right now if not for
Charlie? Definitely not. So much for a no-
strings night. We were now tethered together
for life.
Maybe I deserved more than being the
convenient choice as the mother of his child.
I couldn’t put my kids through the wringer
again if everything fell apart and they were
already attached. There was no real basis for
a relationship with Jaxon other than an
accidental pregnancy. It was best to remain
honest with myself and not forget that fact.
Amy entered the kitchen, dragging all the
lunch boxes from the car and dropping them
on the island. Sensing I needed a minute, she
grabbed a quick snack for the kids and led
them to the living room for some cartoons to
unwind after a long day.
 I mouthed, “Thank you,” as she walked
away.
Once I was sure they were all out of earshot,
I looked at Jaxon, apologizing. “I’m sorry
about Amelia. The last few years have been
harder on her than the rest, and she’s trying
to protect me.”
He’d put on a good show, but I could see
now that she’d rattled him. Breathing a sigh,
he smiled weakly. “I think if she knew my
middle name, she’d have thrown that in there
too.” Glancing around to ensure we were still
alone, he leaned in close enough to whisper,
“She doesn’t know how babies are made,
does she?”
Caught off-guard, I nearly choked on my sip
of water. Pulling back to look at him, sure my
shock was visible, I shook my head violently
—partly to clear it, partly in answer. “No. At
least not that I know of, but she’s almost ten,
so I’m sure she’ll want to know sooner rather
than later. Pray that day is not today.”
Shoving both hands into the pockets of his
jeans, he added, “I had to ask because if she
does, I’m in even bigger trouble. Liam is a
tough act to follow, but I think she might
have him beat.”
“What do you mean, follow Liam?” For a
second, I was confused, then the realization
hit me. “Oh my God, what did he do?”
“He’s only looking out for you.” Jaxon
shrugged.
Pointing a finger at him, I shook my head.
“No. Don’t you dare defend him. Sometimes,
he needs to mind his own business. I’m a
grown woman, not a child. He doesn’t get a
say in who I associate with.”
Yes, Liam had taken good care of me these
past few years, but he’d crossed a line going
behind my back to threaten Jaxon. Anger
clouded my vision.
 Jaxon smirked. “Don’t worry about it. I
fully intend to prove him wrong. Amelia, too,
if it comes to that.”
I took a deep breath to calm my racing
heart. “Guess we’d better go out there and
get this over with.”
Following me, we made our way into the
living room. It was hands-down my favorite
room in our house.
One wall featured floor-to-ceiling windows
facing west, with a door that led to the deck
overlooking the pool. The ceilings were high,
and the room was open through the second
story, with an upstairs hallway visible along
the upper wall opposite the windows. A
sandstone fireplace stretched all the way up
the central wall, with our flatscreen TV
mounted above the mantle and built-in
bookshelves on either side. Overstuffed
couches were centered around a coffee table,
with a chaise lounge flanking one side. It was
homey and held so many memories of being
cuddled up with my children, them making
my worst days brighter.
The sun was beginning to set on this late fall
afternoon, and the orangey glow casting the
room from the wall of windows was
strangely comforting. It was as if the
universe knew I needed a calming
atmosphere to get through this.
I can do this.
Amy caught my eye and left the room,
leaving us to our task. Blissfully unaware,
both boys sat munching on bowls of pretzels.
Amelia’s bowl sat untouched on the coffee
table. Instead of watching the TV, she
watched our every move until we sat down.
Not wasting any time, Amelia blurted out,
“Is he the baby’s dad?”
I glanced at Jaxon, who was silent, smartly
allowing me to handle my children. He
understood his role in this conversation was
to be a prop in my explanation.
Turning back to my kids, Jameson had
stopped eating. Clearly, Amelia’s question
interested him in our conversation, while
Beau hadn’t glanced away from the cartoons.
“Yes, he is,” I confirmed.
“Well, that’s just great,” she spat out.
God, she is Liam’s twin sometimes.
Instinctively, I reacted. “Hey! Who is the
parent here?”
Amelia stared at me in shock. I wasn’t often
so assertive—in my life or with my children
—but she didn’t usually act like a moody
teenager. Feeling like a failure for many
reasons, I pushed through. “I know it’s been
challenging, but I want you to know that I’m
here. I’m not going anywhere. You’ll always
have me. I love you all so much, just like I
love your baby sister, even though she’s not
here with us yet.”
 Eyes as big as saucers, she asked, “Sister?”
Allowing myself a tiny smile, I confirmed,
“Your baby sister, Charlotte. You were my
first baby, but now you’re my big, strong girl.
I know that no matter who her dad is, you’ll
protect Charlie the same way you protect
both your little brothers. Can I count on
you?”
She looked down, and I could tell she had
been hiding her emotions behind that brave,
sarcastic front. Her voice was small, much
more childlike, when she answered, “Yes,
Mommy. I will always take care of you and
the kids.”
My heart was breaking, not only for the loss
of her innocence but because I’d brought
more hardship upon us. Blinking back the
tears that threatened, I said softly, “Baby girl,
look at me.” Amelia obeyed, looking up,
while Jameson sat beside her, watching,
waiting to see how this played out—he never
picked sides.
I spoke to my daughter. “I need to know that
you’re okay.”
Looking between me and Jaxon—who was
still silently watching this private family
interaction—she finally asked, “What
happens now?”
I made a sweeping hand motion. “This is
new for all of us, but we have to work
together. Our family is growing—changing—
and it won’t look the same as other families,
but that’s okay. We’ve always been different,
with Aunt Amy and Uncle Liam living with
us. Do you think we can make room in our
big family to allow Jaxon in so he can be a
good dad to your baby sister?”
Jameson chose to speak, effectively
shattering me into a million pieces. “Dads
should want to be with their kids.”
 Not the only one affected by his words, it
seemed he got through to Amelia too.
Hearing her sniffle, I battled to keep my own
emotions in check, which was becoming
increasingly more difficult by the minute.
She nodded to her brother. “You’re right.”
Pausing, she then looked at me. “I’m sorry,
Mom.”
That was the final straw, and two hot, wet
tears slipped down my face. She was
apologizing to me? For what? For my actions
bringing all our lives crashing down? She
needed to know that none of this was her
fault—that she didn’t need to shoulder the
burden of my failures.
Clearing my throat, I protested, “No,
sweetheart, I should be sorry. I never wanted
any of this for you. Sometimes, plans change,
but how we change with them is what defines
us. We’re going to be all right. I promise.”
 Amelia turned to Jaxon without prompting.
“I’m sorry, Jaxon. I was rude, and I know
better than that. I’ll try harder.”
Holding my breath, I found myself awaiting
his response. This was a heavy-duty situation
for a single guy, but he stunned me when he
addressed her. “Amelia, you don’t need to
apologize to me. I’m new here and still
learning about a lot of things, especially how
to be a dad. You seem like you know the
ropes around here, so I’m hoping you’ll help
me learn how I can fit in.”
“Do you love my baby sister?” It was a
simple question with an automatic answer for
most parents. But for my daughter, she was
asking if Jaxon would provide something for
her new sister that her own father hadn’t
offered to her.
Not skipping a beat, Jaxon smiled. “Of
course I do. And I’m hoping you’ll do me a
favor, Amelia.”
 “Me?” His request caught her off guard.
“Yes, you. I’m gone a lot for work. I’d
greatly appreciate it if you could help take
care of your mom and baby sister when I
can’t be around. Do you think you can help
with that?”
I could see that worried her. She knew he
played hockey but didn’t understand the
practice, game, and travel aspects. Furrowing
her brow, she glanced at me. “Gone like Dad
was gone?”
Shaking my head, I eased her fears. “No,
sweetie, not like that. Jaxon sometimes has
work trips for a couple of days, a week or
two, but then he comes back. It’s only for
little bits of time.”
Reaffirming, Jaxon echoed, “I will always
come back.”
When she struggled to find the words—not
used to trusting any man other than Liam—
Jameson answered for her, “We can both
help.”
Smiling, Jaxon reached out his fist for a
bump. “Thanks, Jameson. I know that I can
trust the two of you.”
Not knowing how much more any of us
could handle today, I ended the conversation.
“All right, guys. Time for reading and
homework before dinner. Head up, and I’ll be
there soon to help and check things.”
Before Amelia could leave with her little
brothers, Jaxon had one more thing to say to
my daughter. “I hope we can be friends. You
can join us boys playing hockey anytime.”
She stared at him. For how long, I wasn’t
sure. No matter what she said, he would be a
part of our lives, but she assessed him before
answering, “Okay. I’d like that too.” Then,
she ran up the stairs where her brothers had
disappeared.
 Once they were out of sight, Jaxon leaned
back on the couch. “Wow. That was intense.”
“Yeah.” I sighed.
“Are you sure she’s only nine?” he said in
disbelief.
“Pretty sure.” I laughed.
“I don’t think I cared much about anything
other than hockey at her age.”
“Oh, only at that age?” I teased.
“Hey! I care about other things now,” he
protested.
“You and I were lucky growing up. We got
to be kids. We didn’t have to deal with half of
what she’s been through. I’m struggling with
all of this, and I’m almost thirty. I can’t
imagine what it’s like for them.”
“I have no clue what I’m doing here, but
you handled them so well. You’re a pro.” His
tone was full of awe, like I’d done something
incredible instead of making life harder for
my children.
 I chuckled. “You’ll learn soon enough.
Everyone thinks babies are a challenge, but
the bigger they get, the more complex life
becomes. Enjoy those early days when all
they want is to be held and have their basic
needs met. You won’t get it back.”
“I’m looking forward to it.”
I laughed again. “That’s what people who
don’t have kids say.”
Smiling, he joked, “Oh, come on. Which
one would you give back?” Pausing, he
winced. “Maybe I don’t want the answer to
that. Probably mine.”
Shoving his shoulder, I rolled my eyes.
“Very funny.”
“You know I’m kidding, but you wouldn’t
trade any of them. That much I know.”
I sighed. “I wouldn’t have survived if it
wasn’t for them. They gave me something to
cling to—something to fight for—when I
wanted nothing more than to give up.
They’re all a part of me, even Charlie, and I
will continue to protect them with all I have.
Nothing can change that.”
“Charlie is a lucky girl. She’s already so
loved.”
The tender way Jaxon talked about our baby
girl was giving me those butterflies again. It
was clear that he would be a good dad, but I
prayed that once she was here, he would
remain steadfast. I wasn’t sure I could bear
another child having to deal with the
disappointment of feeling unwanted. Or
worse, if he changed his mind about our
verbal custody arrangement and my children
were split up, creating two separate families.
Jaxon stood, breaking the moment. Before I
could join him, he raised a hand, stopping
me. “You sit. I’ll let myself out.”
Needing to tell him how much I appreciated
him, I stopped him with a hand on his arm.
“Thank you. Not only for sitting here while I
had this talk with them, but for making them
feel special, making plans for next time.”
His lopsided grin was so genuine that my
heart leapt. “They are special. I wasn’t
kidding. I’ll be bringing sticks and nets next
time. Prepare yourself.”
Laughing lightly, I replied, “Can’t wait.”
Winking, he added, “Careful what you wish
for.”
Once he’d let himself out, I returned to the
kitchen, where Amy casually sat on a stool at
the island with her laptop. Pulling up my own
stool, I teasingly accused, “Enjoy the show?”
Clicking away on her keyboard, she didn’t
look up. “No idea what you’re talking
about.”
“Sure, you don’t.” I knew her better than
that.
“But if I can say one thing?”
“There it is . . .”
 She finally looked up, piercing me with her
emerald gaze. “I think he’s good for you. All
of you.”
“He’s dangerous.” I sighed.
Amy rolled her eyes. “He’s a puppy.”
“That’s not what I meant. He’s here now,
making promises to me, to the kids. What
happens when playing house isn’t fun
anymore? They won’t survive it. I won’t
survive it.”
Amy’s tone grew serious. “Not all guys are
bad guys, Natalie. I know it’ll be hard to get
past your hang-ups, but don’t rule out the
possibility that he might be the thing that
finally puts your family back together.”
Scoffing, I turned it around on her. “Oh,
says the woman who has sworn off men after
one bad experience of her own?”
Leveling me with a glare, she stated, “We
aren’t talking about me right now.”
 Grudgingly, I steered back to the
conversation at hand. “I want more than a
shotgun relationship. Don’t I deserve more
than that?”
“Of course, but do you really think he’s here
just for the baby?”
Throwing up my arms, I was frustrated that
she was making me dig deeper into my
feelings. “What else am I supposed to think?
He didn’t come looking for me after we slept
together.”
“Weren’t you the one who insisted it was a
one-time thing?” she countered.
“Yeah, but—”
“But what?” She cut me off. “I’m not
suggesting you rush into anything. Just try to
be open should anything develop. You
deserve to be happy.”
“All right, I’ll keep an open mind.” It was
easier said than done.
 Leaving her to her remaining work, I
ventured upstairs to check on the kids and the
progress they’d made on their homework.
No matter what Amy said, I had to be
careful. There was too much at stake. I’d
already made a steady stream of bad
decisions that had brought us here. I couldn’t
afford to make another. If I ever let a man
back into my life in a romantic capacity, I
would need to be one hundred percent certain
everyone was on board.
The kids were almost more of a factor in
choosing another partner than my own
feelings. Whoever that person was would
have to love my kids, and they would have to
love him. We were a package deal and came
with a complicated past.
I wasn’t sure there was a man alive up to the
task.
OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 11

OceanofPDF.com
 Jaxon

DING DONG.
The mystery guest list kept growing each
time I’d opened the door, this time to Amy on
the other side. Amy seemed to be the most
rational and patient of Natalie’s friends. I
wasn’t sure I could handle it if Hannah
appeared on my doorstep.
 Snowflakes fell slowly behind her as
November had turned into December. She
stood there, sizing me up. “Jaxon.”
“Amy.”
“Are you going to let me in?” she asked.
“Depends. Are you here to berate me like
Liam?” I eyed her warily.
She smiled. “Actually, I’m here to help
you.”
Intrigued, I stepped aside so she could enter,
holding out my arms to take her coat as she
slipped off her boots. Motioning her forward
into the house, she headed for the kitchen
rather than opting for the comfort of the
living room.
Once she reached the island, she leaned a
hip against it, tucking a strand of auburn hair
behind one ear. “First things first. Do you
love her?”
Rational and direct, I decided that I
definitely liked Amy.
 Rubbing my jaw, I mused, “I think, on some
level, I always have. I know that sounds
crazy, but there’s always been something
about her that’s drawn me in.”
She nodded. “It’s not crazy. Next, you
understand that she’s a package deal,
correct?”
“Her kids are amazing.” A smile touched my
lips, picturing Natalie’s kids.
Seemingly satisfied, she said, “Good. Now,
you need a little bit of a history lesson.”
When I remained silent, she continued,
“Without going into details, you need to
know the asshole’s motto was ‘a scared
Natalie is a controlled Natalie,’ and he
implemented it almost daily. He didn’t love
her. He loved controlling her.”
My hands curled into fists, and I clenched
my jaw, forcing out, “If I ever see that
bastard again . . .”
 Amy waved her hand, cutting me off. “I
didn’t come here to tell you about him, just
how it comes into play. What you really need
to know is that Nat is a hopeless romantic.”
“A romantic,” I repeated. What did that have
to do with anything?
“When we were growing up, she was
always curled up with a romance novel. She
never cared that they usually followed a
predictable storyline. What she loved the
most about them was that they always had a
happy ending. She never tires of watching
the same rom-coms over and over, having
memorized every line, unable to stop from
crying happy tears at the end. I may never
understand it myself, but it’s how she’s
wired.”
“But she never got her happy ending,” I
finished for her.
“See, I knew you were smart.” Amy smiled.
 “What do you suggest I do? She keeps me at
arm’s length.”
Amy smirked. She was up to something.
“Well, I’m certainly not going to tell you that
this entire month should look like something
out of an overly cheesy romantic Christmas
movie.”
Cluing into what she was doing, I stated,
“Noted.”
“And I’m definitely not going to leave a key
to the house right here on your kitchen island
on my way back home.” Reaching into her
pocket, the key she placed down clinked
against the marble.
Mission accepted.
Done with the conversation, Amy headed
for the door, grabbing her coat and shoes
before she looked back, her tone serious.
“One last thing. Don’t fuck it up.”
She was gone, and I was stunned. Not only
had she given me a literal key, but the
figurative key to unlocking Natalie. Maybe
this was the opportunity I was waiting for.
Smiling to myself, I knew exactly what I
was going to do and hoped that everything
else would fall into place.

After a week on the road, I was more than

ready to implement my plan to win over
Natalie and her kids. Armed with bags of
supplies, I used the key Amy had given me to
enter Natalie’s house, praying that that part
of the equation didn’t backfire. I knew I had
some time to set things up before the kids got
home from school with Amy, but Liam was a
wildcard. Not to mention how Natalie might
react to me having a key to her house without
her knowledge.
Those thoughts were gone the second I
opened the door and heard loud Christmas
music filling the house. Grinning, I slipped
into the kitchen, setting the bags down on the
counter next to the large stainless steel fridge.
There were more items in the car, but I’d
grab those later.
The music came from the living room, so I
headed toward the arched entryway the
kitchen shared with that room. Peeking
around the wall, I froze in my tracks.
Natalie was singing along with the music at
the top of her lungs while placing ornaments
on the giant tree that took up a large chunk of
the room. Instead of alerting her to my
presence, I leaned against the wall, enjoying
the private show she was unaware she was
putting on. Smiling to myself, she seemed
like that happy, almost carefree girl I had
known a long time ago.
She’s still in there somewhere.
Biting back a groan, I fully drank her in.
With her back to me, I had the perfect view
of her curved backside, generously hugged in
what looked like the softest gray fuzzy
shorts. Momentarily, I was mesmerized by
the sway of her hips, before trailing my view
down the few inches of exposed skin to a pair
of thigh-high pale pink cable knit stockings
covering the rest of her legs.
Holy shit. Is that a crop top?
A good four inches of skin showed above
the waistband of her shorts. You couldn’t tell
she was pregnant from this angle, but I felt a
rush of possession knowing my baby was
growing inside her. An oversized, cream,
cropped sweater hung off one shoulder, and
her hair was pulled up in a loose bun atop her
head, showing off the delicate curve of her
neck, framed by loose blonde tendrils.
I loved seeing this comfortable, more
relaxed version of Natalie. I only wished she
didn’t feel the need to hide this side of
herself.
 As she bent down to grab another ornament,
I became hyper-aware that she was standing
on a step stool, a good eighteen inches off the
ground. One wrong sway . . .
My body reacted before my brain could
fully process the thought, moving forward
automatically. Hands gripping her waist, I
gently pulled her against me before setting
her down on solid ground.
Her surprised scream didn’t register until
she turned around, eyes wide in shock as she
batted at my chest, yelling, “Jaxon! What the
hell are you doing?”
The heat from her exposed waist seeped into
my hands, and awareness dawned. I was still
holding her. Was I that starved for her that
the mere touch of her skin was enough for
my brain to short-circuit?
Beneath my palm, I felt a push, then what
felt like a roll.
 Now, it was my turn to be shocked. “Was—
was that . . .?”
Natalie softened, choosing to remain in my
arms instead of putting distance between us.
“Yeah, she does that.”
“There’s a person in there,” I whispered,
amazed.
Laughing lightly, she glanced down to her
belly between us, which was growing with
each passing day. “I know.” Looking back at
me, she asked more calmly, “Jaxon, what are
you doing here? And what made you think it
was a good idea to grab me like that? I could
have fallen.”
Stunned, I blinked. She thought I was the
one who was going to cause her to fall?
“That’s exactly why I grabbed you. Let me
help put up the higher ornaments, and you
can tell me where you’d like them. But
please, please, stay off the step stool or any
ladder. You nearly gave me a heart attack.”
 My concern got through to her, and she
nodded in agreement before asking, “How
did you get in here?”
“Amy gave me a key.” I held back a
sheepish grin.
Natalie shook her head. “Of course she did.”
“I like her,” I declared.
“Yeah, well, she likes you too, but that
doesn’t mean you can walk into my house
without my knowledge. What if I had been in
the shower?”
Pausing, the mental image of her in the
shower stole my attention away from our
conversation.
Water cascading down her creamy skin,
every inch exposed. Her hands rubbing soap
over every curve of her body.
“Oh my God, forget I said that,“ she said,
stepping out of my grasp, clearly imagining
where my mind had gone.
 Unable to hold back, I teased, “Too late. I
mean, if you want to take a shower right now,
I can hold down the fort. I’ve got work to
do.”
Face turning pink, Natalie shook her head.
“No, I’ve got to finish the tree.” Pausing for a
minute as my words registered, she asked,
“What do you mean you have work to do?
Here?”
“I’ve got some time to help with the tree.” I
pretended to check my watch. “But then, I
have to get some baking done.”
“What baking? Is something wrong with
your kitchen?” Her forehead wrinkled in
confusion.
This was it. Time to let her know I was the
real deal. “I brought some stuff to make
cookies and a gingerbread house for the kids
to decorate when they get home.”
She stared at me in disbelief. While it hurt
to know that no one had taken care of this
woman and her children, I was determined
for them to get a fresh start. With me.
“Why would you do that?” I could see her
pulse pounding where her throat met her
chest.
“What? You don’t like cookies?” I tried to
bring some levity to the situation. This was
clearly a big deal for her.
“Of course I like cookies. Why do you want
to make cookies with my kids?”
Time to go for broke.
“Because that’s what families do at the
holidays.”
“Families,” she repeated, bewildered.
Giving her an out, not wanting to make her
too uncomfortable, I added, “We may be
more of a blended family, but a family all the
same. I can go if you want. It was just an idea
I thought might be fun for the kids.”
Natalie took a deep breath. “All right. You
help me with the tree, and then I can help you
in the kitchen.”
My foot was literally in the door. Time for
some of that movie magic. Motioning to the
tree, I directed, “You hand me the ornaments,
and I’ll put them exactly where you’d like
them.”
We approached the tree, easily ten feet tall
in the open space. Glancing around, I
wondered where Liam was and why he
wasn’t helping her. Did he know she was up
on step stools at five months pregnant? A
shudder ran through my body, imagining
what could have happened if she’d fallen.
Picking up on my physical distress, Natalie
asked, “Are you cold?”
“No, I’m fine.” I waved her off.
Relief flooded her face. “Okay, good,
because I’m like an oven. I’m not sure I
could have offered to let you turn up the
heat.”
 Scanning her again, my gaze lingered on the
areas of bare skin that were visible on her
body. It made sense now why she wasn’t
wearing more on an early winter’s day.
We worked together for the better part of an
hour, getting all the remaining ornaments
onto the tree before taking some time to add
a few final touches to the room, such as
stockings and decorations. Once she was
satisfied, we made our way into the kitchen.
I still couldn’t get over this house, and I had
only been in a handful of rooms. The living
room alone felt like it was bigger than my
whole house. Then, there was this kitchen. It
would be any chef’s dream. Not only was it
equipped with massive state-of-the-art
stainless steel appliances, but the grey and
white marble island at its center was as large
as a twin-sized bed. Stools were lined up on
one side, providing a casual eating option,
but there was also a full-sized kitchen table
next to bay windows overlooking the
backyard.
Another reason I hadn’t gone overboard
when buying my house was that I hadn’t
grown up with money. My parents owned a
house on a small lake back in Minnesota, but
it was cozy. They probably could have
afforded a bigger house if it weren’t for my
massive hockey bills, so it felt wrong to
flaunt my money when it came to making my
first home purchase. I’d offered to upgrade
my parents a few years into my career, but
they were too proud to accept, even when I’d
argued it was only fair to pay them back for
all they’d spent getting me to where I was
today.
Unlike many of my teammates, I didn’t own
a second summer home where I’d grown up.
Now, with Charlie coming, I would never
consider leaving for the offseason. Hartford
would be my daughter’s home, and therefore,
I was here permanently. Thank God for my
non-trade clause—there was no possibility of
being traded to another team in the league
without my express permission.
Oblivious to my train of thought, Natalie
eyed the four brown shopping bags on the
counter. “How many cookies are you
planning to make? The kids might help for a
while, but they’ll lose interest, leaving you to
finish. That’s just my experience, so prepare
yourself.”
Rounding the island, I began emptying
items from the bags. “It’s not about finishing
the cookies.”
Confusion filled her beautiful face. “It’s
not?”
“I don’t care if any of the cookies make it
into the oven. I only want the kids to have
fun.”
A full minute passed as she stared at me
before asking, “Where did you come from?”
 “Next door.”
Unable to keep from smiling, I knew she
wasn’t asking where I’d physically come
from, but I was trying to play it cool. The
plan was working. She was starting to realize
I wasn’t just here for Charlie.
Natalie shook her head. “All right, funny
guy. Where do we start?”
“I want to get the gingerbread pieces baked
before they get home from school. That way,
when they get bored of baking, they can ice
and decorate the houses.”
Her jaw dropped. “You’re making the
gingerbread house from scratch?”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing. That’s
how my mom always did it.” I shrugged.
“Your mom sounds amazing,” she breathed
out.
I grinned, thinking of my mom and the
memories we’d made during the holidays.
“She’s the best. I never realized the
importance of keeping these traditions alive,
but I’m glad I’m getting the chance.”
Giving her the time to absorb that I was
claiming her children—giving them my
family traditions to cherish and pass on—I
made my way around the kitchen, looking for
the tools to begin baking.
Stand mixer, check.
Bowls, check.
Measuring cups, check.
Once everything was organized on the
island, I rolled up my sleeves and got to
work.
Natalie was tasked with measuring out all
the ingredients while I took care of mixing
and getting the dough prepped, shaped, and
put into the oven. Turning from the closed
oven, I found Natalie trying to clean up after
us.
Not on my watch.
 “You sit for a while. I’ve got clean-up.” She
continued to bustle around the kitchen, so I
tried a different tactic. “Natalie. If you don’t
stop cleaning right now, I’ll lift your ass onto
this counter and make a real mess.”
My words achieved their desired effect,
stunning her enough that she froze, her
mouth dropping open slightly. I took a
moment to picture myself softly biting on her
lush lower lip. Stalking to where she stood, I
caged her in, an arm on either side of her
gripping the edges of the marble countertop.
Our heads were so close that her breath
fanned my face as she peered up at me from
beneath her eyelashes.
Pressing further, I closed the gap between
our bodies. “Once I got you up onto this cool
marble, I would remove these tiny shorts
with my teeth. The sexy-as-hell stockings can
stay on. Then, I would spread you wide and
feast on you until you were begging me to let
you come on my tongue.”
Her eyes never left mine, but a gasp escaped
past her parted lips.
“You still want to keep cleaning?” I
challenged.
Swallowing, I watched her eyes as she
weighed her options. A small thrill of victory
ran through me that she was even considering
letting me eat her out in the middle of her
kitchen, with minutes to spare before we
were interrupted by the thundering of tiny
footsteps. She might deny it, but she still
wanted me.
Finally, Natalie shook her head, whispering,
“You can clean.”
I’d rather be worshiping her with my hands
and mouth, but I stepped back, smug. “That’s
a good girl. Sit. Let me take care of things.”
Pulling back, I was thankful for the jeans
that were partially containing my raging
hard-on as I headed toward the sink to cool
off. Busying my hands, washing and drying
all the items we’d used to make the dough, I
tried desperately to think of anything other
than the mental image of what I wanted to do
to her on the kitchen counter.
Down, boy, we’re playing the long game.
The oven timer buzzed, and I pulled out the
perfectly baked gingerbread shapes—walls,
roofs, and gingerbread people. Smiling to
myself, I was excited to see how surprised
the kids would be. All of this felt right. I
might be getting a crash course in Parenting
101, but I knew Charlie would reap the
benefits of the time I spent with her older
siblings before she made her arrival. She
deserved a whole family. They all did.
As I moved the pieces over to the cooling
rack, I heard the garage door opening,
quickly followed by those telltale footsteps
resounding down the back hallway. Smiling,
I remembered the days of coming home to
my mom baking in the kitchen. I was
carefree; my only duty was to be a child. It
was time to give that luxury I’d taken for
granted to these children.
Jameson burst into the kitchen first. “What
smells so good in here?” Then, he spotted
me. “Jaxon! You’re back!”
The blond little boy had quickly become my
ally, and I was grateful to him. “I thought
maybe you guys would like to make some
cookies with me.”
Amelia joined us, not quite giving me the
same cold treatment as my last visit but still
remaining cautious, as she asked, “What kind
of cookies?”
Assuming that, like her mother, she didn’t
like to be told what to do, I had already
planned on making this a more open-ended
activity.
 Smiling, I asked, “What kind do you like,
Amelia?”
Wide-eyed, she looked to her mom, and
they shared a glance.
That’s right, ladies. With me, you have a
choice.
The very picture of her mother, Amelia
identically chewed her bottom lip when she
was unsure how to respond. It almost seemed
as if Amelia thought this was a trap, signaling
that I had my work cut out for me. A family
activity of baking cookies wouldn’t be
enough to fix all the emotional wounds that
had left deep scars behind.
Amy walked in holding Beau’s hand, taking
in the scene before her, and jumping right on
board. “Ooooh! Looks like Christmas in
here! What are we making?”
Deferring to the nine-year-old gatekeeper
once more, I answered, “Well, it depends on
what Miss Amelia chooses. Her favorite
cookie is up next.”
Amy didn’t skip a beat. “Oh, well, in that
case, it must be sugar cookies. With icing, of
course. Isn’t that right, Amelia?” Then, she
walked behind the family, flashing me a
quick thumbs-up gesture on her way out of
the room.
Turning back to the girl in question, I asked,
“Are we going with classic drop cookies, or
do you think we should use cookie cutters?”
Warming slightly, her smile was shy.
“Cookie cutters.”
“Cookie cutters it is.” I grinned at her. “Will
you help me?”
Amelia nodded as Beau chimed in, “I want
to help! I love cookies!”
Beau was so innocent, clearly untouched by
the past that haunted the rest of his family.
Immediately, I jumped on his enthusiasm.
“Let me get you a chair, little man. You can
help me pour ingredients.” Turning to his
siblings and his mother, I said, “I need a few
more volunteers. Someone to mix, someone
to roll the dough, and someone to cut out the
shapes.”
Jameson jumped to volunteer. “I want to cut
out the shapes!”
“Ladies?”
Amelia finally took the leap, offering, “I can
mix.”
“Perfect! I think that leaves your mom to
roll the dough. If she’s up for it, that is,” I
said.
With all three of her children actively
involved, Natalie didn’t hesitate. “I’m in.”
Getting to work, all three kids pulled up
chairs to reach the height of the massive
island, spreading out to their stations. Beau
chatted eagerly as I measured the ingredients
in cups for him to pour into large and small
bowls before combining our wet and dry
mixtures. Once completed, we handed the
largest bowl to Amelia to mix before making
icing—one for the cookies and another for
the gingerbread house.
Beau was done—his attention span being
the shortest of the three—so I sent him off to
play while the rest of us continued. Walking
over to Amelia’s station, she was nearly
there, so I offered, “Can I help?”
Big brown eyes, so much like her mother’s,
locked on mine, and she nodded,
relinquishing the big wooden spoon. A few
quick stirs, and it was the perfect consistency.
Wanting to keep her included, I split the
dough, remarking, “It looks like we have
enough to need two rollers. Amelia, if you
can give your mom some extra help rolling,
you can be the one to lick the spoon.”
Natalie instantly intervened. “Oh no. No one
is licking the spoon. It’s not safe. There are
raw eggs in there.”
 Glancing at the spoon I held in my hand,
then back to her, I teased, “Aw, come on,
that’s no fun. I’ve licked the spoon my whole
life and lived to tell the tale.”
Not backing down, she held my stare. “Not
happening.”
“Your mom’s the boss,” I acquiesced with a
smile. “I guess I’ll just have to think of some
other incentive for you, Amelia.”
Amelia went to a drawer and pulled out a
second rolling pin. “I don’t need anything to
help Mom.”
Jameson had already moved on to
assembling the pieces of the gingerbread
house, cementing them together with icing
while he waited, calling out, “Hurry up. I
want to cut out the cookies!”
Throwing down some flour, I laid out one
larger and one smaller ball of dough for the
ladies of the house to begin rolling until they
were flat. While it was pleasant working in
the kitchen, it needed something more to
achieve that family feel I aimed to create. The
dough was getting thinner and broader with
each pass of the pins on the marble, and
thinking back to my own family kitchen,
inspiration struck.
Knowing it was a gamble, I reached a finger
into the flour and used it to put a dot right in
the middle of Amelia’s nose. Caught
completely by surprise, she turned to me,
eyes huge, mouth open in a perfect little O.
That’s when the most beautiful sound filled
the room—Natalie’s unfiltered laughter.
Amelia’s head whipped to look at her mom
behind her, laughing in a way I hadn’t seen in
almost a decade. If I hadn’t heard it in that
long, Amelia was likely too young to
remember it.
Natalie prompted her daughter, “I think it’s
only fair you get him back.”
 Mischief entered Amelia’s eyes, and she
reached into the flour herself, gathering a
good amount before rubbing a bit more than
a finger dot on my nose. When I laughed, her
face lit up, her own laughter spilling out, and
for the first time in a long time, she
resembled a carefree child. It made her look
younger, less like a tiny adult.
“Oh, game on.” Grabbing more flour, I
smudged some on her cheeks.
Mock outrage filled her face, and she went
for more, gathering a handful and throwing
it. Ducking the main hit, flour rained down
above.
Natalie began backing away from our mess,
but I rounded Amelia, heading her way. “Oh,
no. You’re not getting away.”
A squeal escaped her mouth as I pulled her
into a bear hug from behind, shaking my
head so that flour rained down onto her hair
and shoulders. Allowing her to turn in my
arms, the smile on her face was so genuine
that my heart ached. The woman I’d fallen
hopelessly in love with over the years was
slowly coming back to me.
Reaching up, I smudged her nose with flour,
whispering, “You’ve got a little something
right there.” I motioned to my own nose.
Eyes sparkling, she reached up, wiping at
her nose, only managing to spread the flour
further. “Did I get it?”
Shaking my head, I wanted nothing more
than to kiss her right now. Radiating
happiness, she’d never looked more
gorgeous, but I reminded myself to be
patient. She wasn’t ready yet.
Giggles and motion caught my eye, and I
turned in time to see Amelia pull a sneak
attack on Jameson with more flour. The idea
of finishing the cookies was forgotten as a
flour war raged in the kitchen.
 The mess didn’t matter. I knew I would
clean it later, as this day had gone even better
than I’d planned. This was what I’d wanted
—to bring love and laughter into this house.
To let these children be children and return to
being taken care of by adults.
This was only the beginning.

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 Chapter 12

OceanofPDF.com
 Natalie

CHRISTMAS WAS DAYS AWAY, but it

wasn’t the holiday magic that was putting
smiles on my kids’ faces—it was Jaxon.
Coming into our lives like a whirlwind, it
was becoming clear he was the key to freeing
the older kids from the chains imposed upon
them by a life with their own father.
 Not wanting to rock the boat on this
newfound happiness, I silently prayed that
Leo would stay gone.
Amy was firmly on Team Jaxon along with
Hannah, but Liam was insistent that he
remain the only man taking care of us.
I didn’t know which side I was on. With
Liam, we knew what to expect. He was loyal,
dependable, and, above all, predictable. On
the other hand, Jaxon made the kids so happy
that my heart was close to bursting. Almost
desperately, I wanted them to like him
because he would be a permanent fixture in
their lives as a result of their baby sister. He
fit, that was for sure, but I wanted him to
want me for more than the surprise of
Charlie’s impending arrival.
A shiver ran through my body thinking
about the picture he’d painted with his words
in the kitchen while making cookies.
Growing up, I’d been a good girl, learning
about sex from all the romance novels I’d
devoured. But my favorite historical genre
had not prepared me for the mouth on him—
both literally and figuratively.
Did people really talk like that? My
extremely limited experience said no, but
Jaxon had shocked me into thinking there
was this whole other world out there. One
where people told each other exactly what
they wanted, and it wasn’t only about a man
seeking his own pleasure. He turned me on
with only his words, and I already knew he
could back up those words with action.
Upon further reflection, he seemed like a
better match for Hannah than for me—she
was the outrageous one without a filter, she
had more experience, and she knew what
men wanted.
I had no clue what I was doing, and
everything felt awkward.
 That was another reason why I was still
wary of letting him get too close to me. How
many women did you have to sleep with to
get that good at sex? I knew I hadn’t been
with anyone else, but how many women had
he slept with since we’d conceived Charlie? I
wasn’t wholly convinced he wasn’t still
sleeping around. As a single man, I couldn’t
judge him for what he did while away from
us. I only knew that I didn’t want to be a
number in the likely endless stream of
women coming in and out of his life.
I couldn’t deny that things were just easy
with him. He had this knack for getting me to
let my guard down, and his rapport with the
kids seemed effortless. It would be so easy to
fall into him. He was gorgeous and
seemingly perfect—as Amy and Hannah
often liked to point out. I’d learned the hard
way that if something seemed too good to be
true, it usually was.
 Sitting in the glow of the Christmas tree,
ordering a few last-minute presents for the
kids, Amy walked in, joining me on the
couch, breathing out, “Damn.”
Looking over in question, she was staring at
her phone, so I took the bait. Amy was
careful about her words, and there was no
doubt she wanted me to ask what she was
looking at. “Damn, what?”
“That man looks good with a baby.” Her
poker face was shit, and she was trying hard
to contain her smile but failing miserably.
That left no question that the man she was
referring to was Jaxon. Sighing, I held out
my hand. “All right, hand it over.”
Dropping the phone into my hand, I peeked
at the image on the screen. There he was, a
red Santa hat on his head, holding a baby. It
appeared to be from the annual Comets trip
to the local children’s hospital. The team
went to spread cheer and bring gifts to those
who were sick and stuck there for the
holiday. The picture simultaneously warmed
and broke my heart—knowing how much
these visits meant to the children and their
families, but that there were babies so tiny in
the hospital at Christmas.
Before I knew it, I was crying.
Amy was instantly pulling me into her
embrace. “Oh, Nat. I’m sorry. That’s not
quite the reaction I was going for.”
Sniffling into her shoulder, my response was
muffled. “Damn hormones.”
Her laugh vibrated through us both, and she
pulled back. “He hasn’t been around for a
couple of weeks, and I thought we needed a
Jaxon fix. I’m sorry if I overstepped.”
Furiously wiping the tears from my cheeks,
I shook my head. “No, it wasn’t even about
Jaxon. I started thinking about the sick
babies.” The tears rose again, and I cursed in
frustration. “Dammit!”
 Understanding dawned on Amy’s face. “Aw,
Natalie. Your babies are all whole and well,
right here under this roof. We will give them
the best damn Christmas they’ve ever had.”
I nodded. She knew my emotions had a
deeper root cause. Jameson had been a
preemie, arriving seven weeks early. He had
been due shortly after Amelia’s first birthday
but surprised us all, arriving unexpectedly
and quickly. The image of his tiny body
hooked up to all the wires and tubes had been
conjured up in my mind thinking about the
kids in the hospital Jaxon went to visit.
Those two months in the NICU had nearly
broken me. If he hadn’t made it, I wasn’t sure
I would have either. Leo had been convinced
I’d done something wrong and that the male
heir might not make it because of me. Even if
I’d physically survived the unthinkable, it
was apparent that Leo would have made sure
I never mentally did. Not that I’d fared much
better when he’d thrived and had grown into
a perfect, strong little boy.
That was the turning point in our marriage.
Leo went from accusing me of failing to
carry Jameson to term to being jealous that I
gave him so much attention. I now know I’d
been fighting a losing battle—if I hadn’t
cared as much for our frail baby boy as I did,
Leo would have called me a neglectful
mother. Jameson’s early arrival gave him the
perfect excuse to flip the switch from the
charming, caring husband and father I’d
thought he was, into the controlling,
emotionally abusive man I’d discovered
beneath that polished façade.
Shaking off the bad memories, I handed
Amy her phone. “You’re right.”
“Sooooo,” she continued. “Is he invited to
the Christmas festivities?”
“Yes, Mom.” I rolled my eyes.
Amy smirked. “The kids certainly like him.”
 “I know.” I took a deep breath. “It’s a good
thing, I know that, but I still worry they will
get too attached. Eventually, something is
going to wreck this. I can’t handle the
thought of another father figure walking out
on them.”
“You know, there are millions of happy
families out there. Something doesn’t always
have to go wrong. There are good men out
there. Has Jaxon given you any reason not to
trust him? Have you seen any red flags?”
“Does being too perfect count as a red
flag?” I knew I was grasping at straws. I
wanted to believe her that Jaxon was the real
deal, but I wasn’t sure if I’d ever be able to
battle past my demons.
Would Leo’s shadow ruin any chance at
happiness that ever came my way?
 Christmas Eve had always been my favorite
day of the holiday season. Watching the kids
open presents on Christmas morning was
magical, but the excitement on Christmas
Eve was infectious. Lists to Santa had been
“sent” weeks ago, and all day there was
chatter amongst the kids guessing which
items they might receive. There was a
charged energy in the air that was
unparalleled.
Jaxon set up camp in the kitchen, making
batch after batch of cookies—this time,
without a flour fight. Amy and Hannah were
sipping cranberry cocktails while I had the
mocktail version. Charlotte seemingly loved
all the sugar I had been consuming
throughout the day because she was
especially active. I smiled as my hand rested
on my belly, thinking that next year, she
would likely be crawling around, and we’d
have to protect her and the tree from each
other.
Then there was Liam, literally pouting in the
corner. He knew if he wanted to avoid Jaxon,
he’d miss out on most of the holiday, so he
made his choice but was visibly unhappy
about it.
We ordered pizza for dinner, content to keep
the day casual and cozy. Liam started a fire in
the fireplace, and we made hot chocolate,
relaxing as we watched a classic cartoon
Christmas movie before the kids headed to
bed. My heart began to swell when Beau
curled right into Jaxon’s side on the couch.
Jaxon cuddled him like it was the most
natural thing in the world.
It was our family tradition to open matching
holiday pajamas to wear on Christmas Eve.
They’d been wrapped under the tree for
weeks, so when the movie ended, the kids
knew the drill, finding the packages with
their names on them.
Amelia made sure to hand out the wrapped
boxes to the adults. Amy, Hannah, Liam, and
I started this tradition of matching them when
we’d moved back home, trying to create new
memories to cover up the bad ones.
Everyone in the family had their box, but
Amelia returned to the tree, producing one
more and handing it to Jaxon.
He flashed that ridiculously charming,
crooked smile at her, asking, “Is this for
me?”
She nodded shyly. “Everyone in the family
wears the same pajamas for Christmas.
You’re part of our family now, right?”
“Yes, I am,” he said without a moment of
hesitation. “Thank you, Amelia. It means a
lot that you would include me.”
Jameson jumped in, “You’re staying tonight
like Aunt Hannah, right Jaxon?”
 Jaxon looked at me, unsure. “That’s really
up to your mom. I can come back for you to
open presents first thing in the morning.”
Beau sleepily leaned against Jaxon, his
words drowsy. “Stay, Jaxon. Read me a
story.”
Who was I to say no to these children, who
were so desperate for affection from a man in
their lives?
I nodded. “Of course, Jaxon can stay.”
Looking at him, I explained, “Hannah
already has the guest room, so unfortunately,
the best I can offer is the couch.”
Jameson panicked. “Not the couch! Santa
won’t come if there’s someone down here!”
Quick to soothe him, Jaxon stepped in.
“Well, we can’t have that.”
Hannah came to the rescue. “I have an
idea.”
“Can’t wait to hear this,” Liam grumbled.
 “Hush, grouch,” she snapped at him. “How
about I bunk with Amy tonight, and Jaxon
can have the guest room? That way, no one
will scare Santa away.”
“Works for me,” Amy agreed.
They were obviously working together, but I
let it slide. “Guess that’s settled. Now, let’s
open these pajamas and get up to bed before
Santa skips our house.”
Everyone opened the boxes containing this
year’s pajamas in a flurry of flying wrapping
paper. Leaving the mess behind, Amelia and
Jameson placed a plate of milk and cookies
for Santa before hurrying up the stairs to get
ready for bed. Beau was struggling to keep
his eyes open, so Jaxon helped him open his
box.
Standing, I walked over to their couch,
reaching down to pick up Beau, but Jaxon
stopped me. “I can take him. Just point me in
the right direction.”
 I wasn’t going to argue. Beau was getting
heavier by the day as he transitioned from
toddler to kid. Grabbing their pajamas and
mine, I led him up the stairs, stopping first in
Beau’s room. Jaxon laid him down on his
bed, fully clothed, eyes drooping.
Sitting down next to his tiny body, I began
to strip off his clothes and change him into
his pajamas as I handed Jaxon his box. “Go
change. The guest room is across the
walkway over the living room. It’s the door
on the left.”
Jaxon left the room, and I could hear Amy
with Amelia and Jameson down the hallway
in the bathroom brushing their teeth. Beau
was dead weight as I finished getting him
changed before removing the covers and
tucking him in.
Leaning down to kiss his forehead, I
whispered, “Goodnight, baby. Merry
Christmas.”
 As I pulled away, he whimpered, rousing
from his semi-conscious state. “Story,
Jaxon.”
“Oh, honey. It’s okay. You’ll see Jaxon in
the morning,” I soothed him.
“No. Story,” he mumbled.
From behind me, I heard the rich timbre of
Jaxon’s voice roll over me. “I’m here, little
man.”
Looking over, I couldn’t help but smile as I
took in the muscular man before me, clad in
plaid reindeer pajamas—the mixture of
ridiculous and adorable was almost too much
to handle. He held his hand out to me, so I
took it and used the leverage to stand from
the bottom bunk.
I glanced over my shoulder at Beau, then
back to Jaxon, whispering, “He’s almost out.
It’s fine.”
Squeezing my hand, Jaxon stared right into
my eyes as he whispered back, “I made a
promise.”
Nodding, I walked over to the bookshelf in
the corner, grabbing Beau’s favorite book,
and handing it to Jaxon. He took it,
motioning to the door. “Go. I’ve got him.”
Walking out, I could hear the hushed tones
as he began reading the familiar words, and I
smiled to myself. He was quickly becoming a
part of this family, just as Amelia had so
cautiously declared downstairs.
After tucking in Amelia and Jameson, I
changed into my matching pajamas before
heading back down to the living room.
Everyone else was ready to play their part in
making the Santa magic happen, but we all
knew we had to be sure all the little people
were sound asleep, lest we be discovered as
elves. That meant another round of hot
chocolate for me, a round of eggnog for
everyone else, and my favorite holiday
romantic comedy. Yes, it was cheesy, but it
wasn’t officially Christmas until we watched
it.
As the opening scene played on screen, I
turned to the ladies. “The pajamas? Really?”
Amy shrugged. “Amelia asked me to make
it happen. What was I supposed to do? Say
no?”
Liam grumbled, “Yes.”
Nudging him, I acknowledged that she had a
point. “She actually asked you to get them
for Jaxon?”
Amy took a sip of her eggnog. “He’s made
quite the impression on the kids. But that
begs the more important question. Has he
made the same impression on you?”
Not having an answer to that question, I fell
into the movie. By the time we’d made it to
the famous dance scene through the Prime
Minister’s house, I realized that Jaxon hadn’t
come back. That book wasn’t very long, and
Beau was minutes away from passing out
when I left them.
Leaving the comfort of the couch and the
movie, I padded back up the stairs to the
open doorway of Beau’s room.
Leaning against the doorframe, I couldn’t
help but smile at the scene before me. Jaxon
was asleep alongside Beau, with the book
draped across his midsection.
It struck me that this must be what it was
like to have a partner—someone to share the
load of parenting. Sure, I had Liam and Amy,
but more often than not, I felt like a burden.
What was developing with Jaxon felt
different, but in a good way.
Time seemingly stood still, so I was
completely unaware of how long I’d been
standing there, staring at them, when I heard
Hannah behind me. “Well, damn. Good thing
you’re already pregnant, or that would do it.”
Oh, Hannah.
 Turning, I found both Amy and Hannah
craning their necks to see into the room
around me.
I bit back a grin. “All right, ladies, show’s
over. I’m going to wake him up. You two go
check on the older kids. Make sure the coast
is clear, and we can get to work.”
As they made their way down the hall to the
other bedrooms, I finally entered Beau’s
dimmed room. Sitting down on the edge of
the bed, I put a hand on Jaxon’s ankle and
shook gently, causing him to stir slightly, but
then his breathing deepened again. Shaking
him again, I whispered, “Hey, sleepy head.”
Those devastatingly gorgeous whiskey-
colored eyes opened slowly, but when they
focused on me, he startled, sitting up
suddenly. “What happened?”
Throwing a finger first to my lips, then at a
still-sleeping Beau, I whispered loudly,
“Shhhhh.”
 Realizing where he was, Jaxon relaxed
again but slowly edged off the bed. “Sorry, I
fell asleep.”
“I noticed.” I couldn’t help but smile as he
rubbed his eyes, trying to wake up more
fully. His dark hair was sticking up from
where it was pressed against the pillow, and
if it weren’t for the stubble lining his jaw,
he’d have resembled an oversized sleepy
toddler.
Walking together out of the room, I softly
latched the door as Jaxon asked, “How long
was I out?”
Leading him back downstairs, I decided to
tease him for falling asleep on the job. “Well,
we have about an hour before the kids get
up.”
Panic filled his voice as he trailed behind
me. “What? Why didn’t you wake me
sooner?” Reaching the bottom of the steps, I
couldn’t keep the giggles from escaping
when I turned around to face him. One look,
and he knew I was messing with him.
“You make it so easy,” I teased.
Raising a brow, he smirked. “Oh, so that’s
how it’s going to be?”
Shrugging, I returned to the living room,
where Hannah and Amy had already started
bringing up the gifts we’d wrapped over the
last few weeks for the kids. Some from
Santa, some from each of us, some from their
grandparents overseas.
Jaxon leapt into action, joining them in the
trek up and down with armloads of presents.
Once everything was in one place, I
surveyed the massive pile, remarking, “I
think we may have gone overboard this
year.”
Liam countered, “You say that every year.”
He was right. I did. On some level, I was
trying to compensate for their absent father. I
knew that a mountain of toys wasn’t enough
to patch that hole in their hearts, but it didn’t
stop me from trying.
Beginning the herculean task of sorting the
substantial heap, Jaxon excused himself. “I
need to run next door and get my gifts. I
didn’t expect to stay tonight, or I’d have
brought them earlier.”
Hannah couldn’t resist. “Please, tell me
you’re coming back dressed as a sexy
Santa?”
I bit my lip. The image of Jaxon, half-
naked, wearing a Santa hat, was enough to
send my overly sensitive hormones into
overdrive. Come to think of it, I probably
wouldn’t say no to Jaxon gift-wrapped
beneath the tree.
Completely obviously, he taunted Hannah
right back. “You know, Hannah, one of these
days, that mouth of yours is going to get you
into real trouble.”
 “I’m counting on it. Do you happen to know
any muscular athletes who might want to
punish me for such an offense?” Hannah was
over-the-top, and she knew it, causing Jaxon
to chuckle on his way toward the front door.
Hearing the door click, I turned on her with
a warning tone. “Hannah . . .”
“You’re not fooling me. You totally were
picturing him doing a Santa strip tease.”
Hannah was smug, taking a sip of her
eggnog.
“No, I wasn’t.” Denial was the official party
line. If I even hinted that I was picturing
Jaxon in more of a sexual capacity, both
Hannah and Amy would be all over the
chance to tell me to “get mine”.
“I’ve known you for half your life, lady.
You can’t fool me. He’s hot, amazing with
the kids, and you’re already pregnant—with
his baby, I might add. Why not jump his
bones? He will be sleeping here, next door to
your room. When are you going to have easy
access like this again?”
So much for denial. Would it be that easy?
Just sneak into his room, slip under the
covers, and then . . .
No.
What was wrong with me? My kids were in
the house. It didn’t matter that he was sexy as
sin, accessible, and openly reciprocated the
sexual attraction I felt. If I needed to get off
that desperately, there was a drawer full of
handy helpers right next to my bed that could
get the job done.
Amy added, “She has a point. Thank God
you two are isolated in your own wing, with
everyone else on the other end of the house. I
don’t want to hear anything.” She pretended
to plug her ears to emphasize her point.
Liam groaned. “I do not want to hear any of
this. Can we please focus on Christmas?”
 Hannah, done with Liam’s bad attitude,
threw out, “Maybe you need to get laid,
Liam.”
As if suspended in time, the room seemingly
stood still. Hannah was always bold, but
she’d never directly come at Liam before.
Frozen, all three of us stared at him as his
permanent scowl slowly turned into what
could only be called a smile on any other
person, but it was something we’d never seen
on Liam.
Hannah leaned over, whispering, “Natalie,
I’m scared. His teeth are showing.”
Eyes still stuck on Liam, I whispered back,
“Well, you poked the bear. Whatever happens
next, you’re on your own.”
“Some friend you are.” She scoffed.
Liam leaned forward, enjoying drawing out
the dramatic suspense he’d created. “Are you
offering, Hannah?”
 Stunned, we sat there as Liam burst into
laughter. Liam didn’t make jokes. Ever. Just
another sign that the world was currently
upside down, and we were all along for the
ride.
Hannah grabbed a throw pillow off the
couch, chucking it at his head, declaring, “In
your dreams.”
The tension now broken, we got back to
work setting up the perfect Christmas
morning scene. I was on my hands and
knees, grabbing presents and organizing them
into stacks—making sure everything looked
aesthetically pleasing—when Jaxon returned
from next door. Amy left my side to help him
with whatever he’d brought. She reentered
the room with another armful of presents to
add to the growing mass, and Jaxon sat down
in a clear space with a large brown box.
Peeking over occasionally, I noticed he’d
gotten the box open and laid a bunch of red
pipes and white netting in all directions.
My curiosity eventually got the better of me.
“What have you got there?”
Not looking up from whatever he was
assembling, he replied, “Hockey net.”
“Hockey net?”
“Yeah, I promised the kids we would play
mini sticks when I first came over. I’ve got
sticks and balls for them, too. Among other
things.”
Jaxon still hadn’t looked up, but I was
staring at him, my mouth hanging open
slightly in shock. This was the second time
tonight he’d mentioned promises and then
taken action to keep them. Empty promises
had filled my life for so long that seeing them
fulfilled was alien to me. That dangerous
hope began to rise once more inside my
chest.
Maybe Amy was right. Maybe Jaxon truly
was a good man. I prayed that was the case
because, with each passing day, he was
slowly wearing down my defenses.
My phone was dinging on the coffee table,
jarring me from my thoughts, but I knew that
specific tone. Ignoring it, I went back to
work.
When I was almost done with the seemingly
endless sorting and stacking, Jaxon asked,
“Whose phone is that?”
Relaxing against the lower half of the
couch, not ready to work my way off the
floor just yet, I sighed. “It’s mine. Ignore it.”
“It seems important,” he commented as his
brow furrowed.
I waved him off. “It’s not, really. It’s the
alert that, somewhere, my name was
mentioned in the media.”
Looking at the rest of the adults in the room,
he cautiously responded, “That seems . . .
healthy.”
 Liam, breaking his freeze out of Jaxon,
replied, “Yeah, it’s not.”
Glaring at my big brother in annoyance, I
snapped at him, “Not helpful.”
Jaxon wasn’t deterred. “What could they
possibly be saying about you? As far as I can
tell, you’ve been holed up here for over a
month. I was with you the one time you went
out, and you were hiding in my backseat.”
I’d ignored it because it was Christmas, not
wanting whatever it was to ruin the holiday.
The story would still be out there in the
universe days from now. Obviously, Jaxon
wasn’t willing to drop it, so I motioned to the
phone. “Be my guest.”
He was hesitant but stood to reach the
phone, sitting on the couch next to where I
leaned. Silence descended upon the room as
everyone waited while he read. It could be
anything. I’d seen—and read—it all by now.
Usually lies, but sometimes with a hint of
truth—enough to cause a direct blow to my
sense of self-worth.
Clearing his throat, Jaxon seemed hesitant.
“Um, I don’t know what to think about this.”
Not even bothering to look back, I held out
my hand as he relinquished the phone.
Scanning the text, the headlines read:
Princess Natalie Remington Disappears from
the Spotlight. Checks into Rehab Facility,
Location Unknown.
In the grand scheme of things, this was
minor. I’d survived worse.
Placing the phone back on the coffee table, I
declared, “It’s not that bad. We can work
with this.” Amy and Hannah leapt to the
phone, eager to learn what I deemed not-
world-ending. Right away, they nodded,
agreeing it wasn’t terrible.
Poor Jaxon was exasperated. “You’d rather
have the world thinking you’re in rehab than
having them learn you’re pregnant with my
baby?”
Oh, boy. He’s taking this personally.
I gave Amy the look, and the room cleared.
Finding my way off the floor, I sat on the
couch next to Jaxon. Taking his hand in
mine, my thumb lingered on his wrist where I
could feel his pulse racing. Guilt flooded me
for bringing him into my mess and creating
stress he shouldn’t have to deal with.
Reverting to the only way I knew to deal
with a man, I tried to please him and flip the
situation to make it more about him than me.
“I’m trying to protect you.”
Feeling him stiffen next to me, I realized
instantly that I’d miscalculated. His voice
was clipped when he finally responded, “I
don’t need you to protect me.”
“I’m sorry,” I said on reflex.
The words seemed to startle him, and he
relaxed slightly. “Why are you sorry?”
 “You’re mad.” I bit my lip. I didn’t know
how to read him, and it made me nervous.
“I’m not mad. I’m just . . . frustrated.” He
ran a hand through his dark hair. “Help me
understand because I’m really struggling.
How is this story better than the truth?”
“I can see how you would think people
believing I’m in rehab is bad. But if the
tabloids place me elsewhere, they won’t be
looking for me here. It draws public attention
away from home, away from the kids.”
Thinking on it for a minute, he pulled me
toward him, and I let him, curling into his
side. Running his hand up and down my arm,
I felt him lean his head onto mine,
whispering, “I’m sorry I made this about
me.”
God, laying in his arms was so damn
comfortable. I felt myself say words in
response, but the soft glow of the fire,
combined with the warmth radiating off the
man holding me close, had my eyelids
drooping. I’d be the first to admit that I was
tired. Tired physically—sure, it was late—but
also mentally tired of carrying the weight of
the world on my shoulders. Now, here was
this man, who was so good with my kids,
who wanted to take care of all of us, and part
of me really wanted to let him.
That was my last thought before I drifted off
to sleep in his arms.

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 Chapter 13

OceanofPDF.com
 Jaxon

I LOVE YOU.
Those were the words I’d dared to whisper
out loud after carrying a sleeping Natalie
upstairs and tucking her into bed. I knew she
couldn’t hear me. She wasn’t ready to hear it,
but I was ready to say it.
Unknowingly, she’d given me the ultimate
Christmas gift—allowing me to hold her
tonight as she fell asleep in my arms. I didn’t
need anything else.
Once I was sure she was settled, I went back
downstairs to finish constructing the net for
the kids before heading to bed myself.
Feeling as if I’d only closed my eyes for a
minute, I was jostled awake by Beau
bouncing on my bed, yelling, “Wake up,
Jaxon! Santa came!”
Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I teased
the little boy, who was bursting with
excitement. “You didn’t peek, did you?”
A sheepish grin crossed his face. “I only
looked! I didn’t open anything.”
“I won’t tell,” I promised. A quick glance to
the open doorway told me there were no
other lights on inside the house. “Is anyone
else awake, little man?”
“No.” He continued to bounce up and down
on my bed.
 Finally daring to check the time on my
phone, I rubbed a hand hard over my face. It
was only 5:30 AM. I’d gotten about four
hours of sleep and was determined to make
sure Natalie got as much rest as possible.
I stood, holding my arms out to him. “All
right, little man. Let’s go back to your room
and play for a little bit until everyone else
wakes up.”
Without hesitation, Beau jumped into my
arms, and I held his small body close. He was
in that weird stage—almost too big to be a
toddler, yet too small to be classified as a kid
—and I found myself wishing that I could
bottle his innocence. Trust was something he
gave freely, and I strove to remain worthy of
that trust.
All three of Natalie’s kids had found their
way into my heart, just like their mother, and
I would do anything to protect them. They
were my family now.
 The world faded away as we sat on the floor
in Beau’s room, playing with cars,
constructing train tracks, and stacking blocks.
Eventually, natural sunlight filtered through
the windows, and I glanced up to find Natalie
leaning against the doorjamb. Looking
adorable in the silly pajamas—her long
blonde hair piled high atop her head, half of
her face slightly reddened from sleep—I
knew without question that she was the
woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life
with.
Smiling at the thought, I acknowledged her
presence, uttering softly, “Merry Christmas.”
Beau noticed her standing there, jumping up
and running to hug her legs. “Merry
Christmas, Mommy!”
Her brilliant smile stole my breath away as
she looked down at Beau, hugging him close.
“Merry Christmas, sweetheart.” Looking
over his head, she trained that smile on me.
“Can I get you some coffee? Maybe an
energy drink? You know that you could have
sent him down to my room. I’m sorry he
woke you.”
Beau ran down the hall to wake his siblings.
Standing and making my way to the doorway
where she stood, I utilized her oft-used
phrase, “It’s not a big deal.” Stalking closer, I
dropped my voice an octave. “If you’re going
to be sleep-deprived, I’d rather it be because
I kept you up all night screaming my name.”
Natalie looked up, tugging on her lower lip
with her teeth, causing me to bite back a
groan. That lip had been taunting me for
weeks, begging to become my own personal
chew toy. Before she could respond, the
thundering herd of footsteps was headed our
way.
Leaning in close to her ear, I whispered, “To
be continued.”
 Her breath hitched, but she quickly
transitioned into mom mode—gathering up
the kids so they could go down and see what
awaited them beneath the tree.
Hanging back, I observed them. I wanted
this. I wanted to have these intimate
moments with Natalie and then to seamlessly
switch to focusing on the kids. I’d never
expected that this would be the life I craved,
but sometimes, life knew better what you
needed.
Heading for the stairs, following behind, I
knew the exact moment they saw the fully
assembled net with three mini sticks resting
on top. Voices floated up to the second story,
Jameson first, “Whoa! This is so cool!”
Then, Amelia, “There’s a stick for me too?”
Finally, Beau said, “Hockey! I wanna play!”
Making my way into the living room, three
sets of eyes were on me. Their smiling faces
made the long night worth every minute
spent fighting with the netting.
Jameson turned to Natalie, begging, “Can
we play, Mom?”
She looked at the massive pile of presents
next to and under the tree. “You don’t want to
open your gifts from Santa first?”
“No way! Can we play?”
“Well, if it’s all right with Jaxon.” She
shrugged as a small smile crept onto her lips.
He grabbed one of the sticks. “Please,
Jaxon?”
Holding up a finger, I stopped him. “I’ve
got one more thing, so you’re ready for the
full mini-sticks experience. Then, I’ll help
you move it down the hallway so you can
play.”
Natalie turned to me. “There’s more?”
Winking, I replied, “I’m nothing if not
thorough.”
There’s that blush I love.
 Stepping over different piles of gifts, I
grabbed four wrapped boxes, handing one to
each of the kids, and then one to Natalie.
She stared up at me, then lowered her eyes,
whispering, “I didn’t get you a gift.”
Sitting down beside her, I tipped her chin up
with my hand until her brown eyes met mine.
Then, I took my other hand and rested it on
her belly, smiling. “Charlie is the greatest gift
you could have ever given me.”
Her hand found its way to covering mine,
and for a moment, it was as if we were the
only two people in the world.
I forgot where we were until Amelia asked,
“Can we open them?”
Natalie pulled her hand away quickly, and I
followed suit, although more reluctantly.
Turning to Amelia, I gestured to their boxes.
“Yes, open them. Then, it’s game on!”
Paper went flying as they tore into the
packages. Jameson got his open first, pulling
out the child-sized version of my navy blue
and gray Comets jersey. The other two finally
got theirs open, revealing their own jerseys,
each with my number twenty-three and the
name Slate stitched across the back.
They all stared at me in awe, so I urged
them, “Put them on. You have to look the
part if you want to play hockey.”
Jameson threw his on first, then looked to
Natalie. “Are you going to open yours,
Mom?”
Peering down at the box in her lap, she
slowly unwrapped it. Taking the top off the
box, she froze, realizing I’d also gotten her a
jersey with my name and number on it. Her
silence triggered my sweat response. Had I
gone too far? The subtle undertone was that I
was laying claim on all of them—branding
them with my name—but maybe that was too
much too soon.
All she managed was, “Oh.”
 Playing it cool, I asked, “Wrong size? I
guessed. I can take it back and exchange it
for another.”
“It’s not that.” Her eyes were still downcast,
refusing to look up at me.
Hannah’s voice cut in, making her presence
known. “Nat already has yours.”
After a quick glance at Hannah, I turned my
attention back to Natalie. “You do?”
Her throat bobbed as she swallowed. “Uh-
huh.”
The mental image of her already wearing
my name in the stands was overwhelming.
That was the point of getting her my jersey,
but to know that she’d been doing it all along
filled me with a sense of possession. She was
always meant to be mine.
Hannah grabbed the net and moved it into
the open hallway for the kids to play. Natalie
excused herself to grab a cup of tea from the
kitchen, and Amy rounded the couch to
occupy the space Natalie had left empty
beside me.
Nodding, she indicated down the hallway
where the kids were giggling, playing the
sport I’d devoted my entire life to. “I think
you stole the show.”
Watching the kids play, realizing they were
becoming my entire world, I smiled. “I want
them all to be happy.”
Amy gave me a playful nudge. “And that’s
why I like you. Keep it up. I’ve got your
back.”
Nudging her back, I couldn’t tear my gaze
away from the happy kids. Genetics be
damned, this was my family. I wasn’t about
to let anything or anyone hurt them ever
again.
 “Congrats on the All-Pro Game selection,
man.” Cal sat next to me in the locker room
after I returned from the shower.
Shrugging it off, I replied, “It’s nice the fans
want to see me there, but I’d much rather
have the mini break.”
“Aw, come on. You love the attention,” my
best friend teased.
I’d much rather have the attention of a
certain blonde that weekend, but I couldn’t
tell him that. Keeping this huge part of my
life from my best friends was more difficult
than I’d expected. I desperately wanted to tell
them. They’d probably give me shit for not
telling them sooner, but they’d be happy for
me. They knew Natalie was the dream—even
if a seemingly impossible one. Now, it was
reality, and I was so close to letting her know
how much I cared about her. Breaking the
promise I’d made to keep things quiet could
cost me everything, so I kept the truth locked
away from my best friends.
Cal joked, “You could always turn it down
and come to Mexico with the boys.”
Mexico was our “place”. The single guys on
the team had been going together since
before I was a rookie. In the years I wasn’t
selected for the All-Pro Game, there had
never been a question of my attendance.
We’d had some wild trips down there, but I
couldn’t tell Cal that I wouldn’t be going this
year even if I didn’t have the game. The road
trips to the other side of the country were
already further away than I could stand to be
from Natalie right now. I wasn’t going to
travel that far away on purpose, and for
what? To drink and wheel women? The only
woman I wanted was right here in Hartford.
My bachelor life was dead, and there was no
need for a funeral. I was happy with the
direction my life was headed.
 Laughing, I gave him a playful punch to the
arm. “Nah, it’s my job to give back to the
fans who voted me into the game. It is a good
opportunity to face time with the kids and
keep growing the American youth game.”
Cal grinned. “That’s why they love you, you
selfless bastard. We’ll miss you while we are
hanging poolside.”
Standing, ready to head home, I threw back,
“I’m sure you’ll have a drink for me.”
“I plan on having so many drinks that I
won’t remember my name, let alone yours.”
A mischievous gleam entered his Arctic blue
eyes.
“Sounds about right,” I mused.
Cal changed the subject. “You free tonight?
Some of the guys were thinking of meeting
up for a poker night.”
I shook my head. “Sorry, can’t tonight. My
parents are coming over for dinner.”
 “Shannon and Michael are in town? Give
your mom a hug for me.”
The hockey community was a gigantic
family. Everyone looked out for each other,
and that included our parents, who treated
each teammate like one of their own. Cal
loved my parents as much as I loved his. We
were lucky that so many people had our
backs.
“They’ll be at the game tomorrow night,” I
replied. “I’ll make sure you can give her a
hug yourself.”
“Deal. Your mom is the best.”
Smiling to myself, I headed out of the
locker room toward the player parking lot.
My mom was the best. Tonight, Natalie was
coming over to meet my parents. Mom had
insisted on a home-cooked meal for the
evening when I’d suggested that we order in.
Her motto was that you show love for your
family by cooking for them, so I allowed her
to take over. It hadn’t escaped my notice that
Natalie was eating more these days, her body
continuing to fill out, and she’d never looked
more incredible. Mom was going to love her
—she’d been a mix of anxious and excited
all week. Dad, on the other hand, had been
warned to be on his best behavior.
Tonight was going to be a huge step for us,
and I needed it to go well.

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 Chapter 14

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 Natalie

THE MAGICAL HIGH CREATED by Jaxon

for Christmas was still lingering in the air as
the holiday break ended and the kids went
back to school. Jaxon texted over the
weekend, bringing me back down to Earth,
asking if I was free for dinner with his
parents before they returned to Minnesota.
 He’d painted this perfect picture of family
for my kids, drawing on his own experience
growing up in a functioning, loving
household. I wasn’t sure I fit into that kind of
life. My upbringing hadn’t been exactly
warm, and my marriage certainly wasn’t. I
strove to provide better for my kids, but it
wasn’t as effortless as Jaxon had made it
seem.
Spending over an hour getting ready, trying
multiple outfits, determined to make a great
first impression, I’d eventually settled on a
simple look of black leggings paired with a
tunic top. Styling my hair in loose, long
waves, I allowed makeup to highlight my
features for the first time in months.
I desperately wanted them to like me.
Charlotte was their granddaughter, and I
wanted her to have the loving family Jaxon
brought to the table. Familiar doubt crept into
my mind that I wasn’t good enough. Jaxon’s
life—and theirs by extension—was forever
changed because I couldn’t control myself
one summer night. How could they possibly
like me?
Putting on shoes was where I hit a snag.
Everything on my body was expanding, and
that included my feet. Sitting on the
mudroom bench, I tried in vain to force my
feet into my trusty fur-lined boots, to no
avail. Next, I tried my black flats but couldn’t
feel my toes with how far forward they
pressed into the unyielding leather. Checking
the weather report, the temperature was in
the low 30s, but there wasn’t any snow on the
ground.
Fuck it.
Giving up, I threw on my black flip-flops,
rationalizing that I was only going next door
and could drive rather than walk to protect
my feet from frostbite. Just add showing up
in inappropriate footwear to the list of
judgments I would probably receive this
evening.
Making a mental note to order new shoes, I
headed out.
Driving to Jaxon’s house took less than a
minute, but I sat in his driveway, gathering
the courage to go inside. Placing a hand on
my belly, I knew I couldn’t take anything
back now. Charlie was coming whether I was
ready or not.
For some reason, Jaxon’s parents were the
most daunting of all the people I’d faced
since finding out I was pregnant. Maybe it
was because I was a parent myself—I could
put myself in their shoes if it were my son.
Jaxon wasn’t your ordinary boy next door.
He was a world-famous athlete who made a
lot of money, and I could only imagine his
parents thinking I’d trapped him.
Unable to sit in the car all night unnoticed, I
shook off the doubts and scenarios running
through my mind, turned off the car, and got
out. Heart beating out of my chest, I rang the
doorbell and waited for whoever might
happen to open it. A breath rushed out when
that person was Jaxon, relief washing over
me. He provided a calming presence I hadn’t
realized until this moment. It sure didn’t hurt
that he was easy on the eyes, clad in dark
wash jeans and a navy blue button-up.
Smiling, he took my hand, ushering me in
and out of the cold. That smile faded as he
took my coat and noticed I was slipping off
my flip-flops. Wasting no time in chastising
me, he asked in disbelief, “Where are your
shoes? It’s January in New England!”
I was momentarily embarrassed but then
remembered he was partly to blame for my
inability to fit into any weather-appropriate
shoes. Avoiding his gaze, I whispered, “I
couldn’t get my feet into any of my closed-
toe shoes. It’s not a big deal. I only walked
twenty steps from the car to your door.”
Guilt flooded his handsome face as he ran a
hand through his dark hair. “I’m sorry, I
didn’t realize.” A smile touched his lips as he
scanned me from head to toe. “You look
beautiful.”
My self-image had been so damaged that I
didn’t know how to take compliments. I’d
been torn down so often that it was hard to
believe anyone could find anything good
about my appearance and vocalize it. Feeling
my face heat up, I looked away, busying
myself with hanging up my purse with my
coat.
Jaxon grabbed my hand with one of his,
then took the other and cupped my face.
Melting into his touch, allowing him to force
my gaze up, he stroked my cheek with his
thumb before whispering, “I wish you could
see yourself the way that I see you.”
 My lips parted, and his eyes dropped to
them. I could tell he wanted to kiss me. Hell,
I wanted him to kiss me. His words and
actions these past few months were wearing
down my defenses. It was only a matter of
time before I gave in to this man who had
captivated not only me, but my children.
Noises from the kitchen broke our trance,
and Jaxon glanced over his shoulder. When
he turned back, he leaned in close, brushing a
quick kiss against my cheek before asking,
“Are you ready for this?”
Nodding as he pulled away, I’d already
accepted my fate. “Time is running out. Now
or never, I guess.”
Hand still in mine, he led me towards the
living room. “Just be yourself. They’ll love
you.”
Love was perhaps too strong of a word.
Very few people in my life truly loved me,
and most of them lived next door. I wasn’t
even sure my own parents felt that way about
me. Why should his?
My brain told me to put on my big-girl
panties and meet this challenge head-on, but
my body betrayed me—my feet dragging as
we ventured further into Jaxon’s house.
A woman with short brown hair laced with
silver stands, and a face featuring noticeable
laugh lines in her early fifties emerged from
the kitchen. Her face lit up with a warm
smile, and she clapped her hands together,
exclaiming, “Oh! Well, aren’t you pretty! I
can see why Jaxon is so smitten.”
“Mom.” Jaxon shifted next to me, clearly
embarrassed. That was new. He was always
so confident and self-assured. It was nice to
see that he wasn’t completely perfect. He was
human, just like the rest of us.
Looking back toward the kitchen, his mom
called over her shoulder, “Michael, get in
here! She’s here!” Then she rushed toward
us, pulling me into a hug, completely
catching me off guard, gushing, “We are so
glad that you’re here!”
This was not at all what I’d been expecting.
Still mid-hug, my shock must have been
visible when I looked at Jaxon, who simply
shrugged before telling his mom, “Let her
breathe, Mom.”
A tall man, also early fifties, came into the
room, his hair beginning to gray, giving him
a salt-and-pepper look. More intimidating
than Jaxon’s mom, he made his way to the
group, placing a chaste kiss on my cheek
before pulling back. “Lovely to meet you.”
Jaxon tensed slightly; the movement barely
caught out of the corner of my eye. Not
knowing where to start, I introduced myself.
“I’m Natalie. It’s so nice to meet you both.”
His mom threw a hand to her chest. “How
rude of me! I was just so excited to meet you
that I forgot my manners. I’m Shannon, and
this is Michael. And, of course, you know our
Jaxon.”
We all laughed, which helped break the ice.
Shannon was so kind that I felt comfortable
joking in response. “The name rings a bell.”
Jaxon placed his hand on the small of my
back. “Why don’t we sit down before
dinner?”
Shannon’s eyes sparkled as she concurred,
“Oh, yes! Let’s get you off your feet.” His
parents sat on one couch together, so he led
me to the other, taking a spot by my side.
That’s when Shannon noticed my bare feet,
not skipping a beat, immediately instructing
Jaxon, “Goodness dear, go and get her a pair
of socks!”
My jaw dropped as I watched Jaxon jump
up and race up the stairs. Shannon reached
over and grabbed my hand. “You’ll have to
forgive him. He’s only had to take care of
himself for so long.”
 Still trying to process how quickly he’d
jumped into action at his mother’s command,
I found my voice. “Oh, it’s no trouble. I
apologize. I couldn’t get any of my winter
shoes on. I should have thought ahead to
bring a pair of socks for inside the house.”
She was sympathetic in her response.
“Nonsense, we’ll get you all taken care of.”
Jaxon appeared back at my side with socks
—two pairs, in fact. One was thick and fuzzy,
another low-cut like the ones he currently
wore. I reached for the low-cut pair but
couldn’t get my hands on them as he knelt
before me, placing them on my expanded
feet. It hadn’t escaped my notice that he was
initiating physical contact more frequently,
but surprisingly, I didn’t mind it so much. He
was affectionate—which was certainly
something I hadn’t experienced in my sole
prior relationship—and I was finding that I
liked it. It was calming—comforting, even.
 Jaxon looked up, smiling before me.
“Better?”
Nodding, I found myself at a loss for words.
Was I swooning over him touching my
ankles right now? What century was this,
where that innocent contact was enough to
cause my stomach to somersault? The gesture
seemed incredibly intimate, especially in
front of his parents.
Rising, he joined me back on the couch as
his mom asked, “So, Jaxon tells us you’re
originally from Hartford?”
Turning my head in her direction, she was
still smiling. I looked down, checking to
make sure that my bump was still there—that
I hadn’t imagined the reason I found myself
sitting here inside Jaxon Slate’s home,
meeting his parents. Charlie chose that
moment to give me a little roll, a reminder
that she was not a figment of my
imagination.
 I must have gotten lost in my thoughts
because I heard Jaxon prompt, “Natalie?”
Snapping back to reality, I took a moment to
try and remember the question. “Oh! Yes, I
grew up a couple of neighborhoods over
from where we are now.”
Shannon smiled. “What a small world! It
must be such a comfort to be near home.”
Were we honestly sitting here ignoring the
elephant, or more accurately, the beached
whale in the room? This was a refreshing
change of pace for me, so I wasn’t about to
rock the boat. If they wanted small talk,
that’s what they’d get from me.
Nodding, I answered, “You don’t realize
how much you miss home until you leave.”
Shannon smiled softly. “Jaxon mentioned
that you’d left home when you were young,
just like him. It’s nice that you have that in
common.” Quickly, she changed topics. “Tell
me about your little ones.”
 I was beginning to get whiplash, but asking
about the kids disarmed me. “My oldest is
Amelia, and she’s nine. Then there’s
Jameson, who is eight currently but will be
nine in March. They’re my Irish twins, ten
months apart.”
“Oh, goodness!” she exclaimed. “You are
brave. My boys are over eight years apart. I
can’t even imagine two babies so close
together.”
I was used to that kind of reaction when
people learned how close in age my oldest
two children were. “Wasn’t exactly how I’d
planned it, but I wouldn’t change it for the
world. Then there’s my baby, Beau, who is
three and a half.” Pausing for a moment, my
hand dropped to my belly. “Was my baby, I
guess now.”
Shannon jumped on that opening. “I can’t
tell you how excited I am for a little girl. I’d
always prayed for a little girl, but it wasn’t
the path laid out for me.” Gazing fondly at
Jaxon, she added, “But I do love my boys.
They’re both good men.”
I peeked at Jaxon beside me, saying softly,
“I’m starting to see that.”
He took my hand, squeezing it lightly before
adding to the conversation himself. “I have
no idea what to do with a little girl, but I’m
excited to learn. Spending time with Amelia
has given me a glimpse, but she’s a bit older,
so I’m sure it’ll be different.”
Unable to contain my smile, I recognized
how hard he was trying. I’d have to be blind
not to see that, so I squeezed his hand back.
“It won’t be much different from the bond
that you seem to have with Beau. He thinks
you’ve hung the moon, and I’m sure Charlie
will too.”
There was a tenderness in his eyes. “Beau is
really special.”
 Oh no, the hormones took hold once again,
and I was on the verge of crying. All because
of how much he cared about my sweet baby
boy. It washed over me all at once, the
realization that he was going to be an
incredible father to Charlie. Unable to look
away, I was oblivious to the tear that slipped
down my cheek until Jaxon reached up with
a thumb to wipe it away.
Sensing my distress, he leaned in close.
“Hey, are you okay?”
Nodding, blinking furiously as more tears
spilled from my eyes and a lump formed in
my throat, my words were shaky. “I was just
thinking how lucky Charlie is.”
Taking both hands, cupping my cheeks, he
held my gaze. “No, Natalie. I’m the lucky
one. You’ve given me everything I’ve always
wanted and never thought that I could have.”
Damn him. What is he doing to me?
 My lower lip trembled, so I bit it hard,
tasting blood as I tried to hold back the sob
that threatened to break free, but it was
useless. My conditioning had taught me that
crying was a sign of weakness, so I cursed
myself for making a fool of myself in front of
his parents, having just barely met them. My
vision was blurry from the tears I couldn’t
stop, but instead of the expected look of pity
on Jaxon’s face, there was something else
etched on his face—a softness.
“Baby, come here.” He pulled me into his
arms, and the dam fully broke. I’d held
everything in for so long, trying to keep it
together for my kids, and now here was this
man. He gave himself freely to me and my
kids, never looking for anything in return. It
was such a stark contrast from everything I’d
ever known about relationships that I didn’t
know how to process it—hence, my current
meltdown.
 Consistently steadfast, he rubbed my back
soothingly. “I won’t let anything hurt you.
You’re safe.”
Safe.
That word startled me enough to pull back
and look at him. It hadn’t been a part of my
vocabulary since I’d been a child. Searching
his face, there was only concern in his eyes—
concern for me. Suddenly, I started to think
that maybe I was the one who wasn’t good
enough for him, instead of him creating a
potential threat to my family’s delicate
balance. He was whole and confident—
things I wasn’t sure I’d ever be again. I
wasn’t sure I could forgive myself if I pulled
him into my messy life.
Wiping furiously at my eyes, my default
kicked in. “I’m sorry.”
“Nat, look at me.” Compelled to obey, I
dropped my hands from my face. He’d never
called me Nat before, only Natalie. “You are
human. You’re allowed to have emotions.
You shouldn’t have to apologize for that. I
don’t need you to ever apologize for that.”
Realizing we had an audience, I looked
around at the now empty room, feeling my
cheeks heat, embarrassed. “Your parents
must think I’m insane.”
Jaxon chuckled. “You didn’t hear it from
me, but I grew up with that woman in the
kitchen, and she’s been known to have her
own moments of emotion. You have nothing
to worry about.”
Mulling that over, it was so different from
all that I knew. My mother was the typical
high-society wife. She’d always made sure to
fall apart in private to maintain her façade of
perfection. Leo had mocked me as weak
anytime I’d become emotional—even in
private—so I’d eventually hidden my true
feelings, even from him.
 Was what Jaxon told me how healthy people
viewed emotions? Were there people out
there who were unafraid of being their
authentic selves? It seemed strange and
frightening to be vulnerable in front of
others.
Standing, he held his hand to me. “Come
on, let’s eat.”
Taking his hand, I allowed him to help me
up from the couch. Hiding behind him as we
entered the kitchen, his mom was bustling
about, putting the final touches on dinner,
while his dad was setting the table for the
four of us.
Jaxon cleared his throat, and his mom
looked over to us, dashing over to pull me
into a hug.
When she pulled back, my default was to
apologize. It was too deeply ingrained into
the fabric of who I was to this point. “You’ll
both have to excuse me. I don’t know what
came over me back there.”
Shannon brushed it off. “Oh, sweetie, it’s
fine. Life is messy sometimes. There’s beauty
to be found in the imperfections.”
Before I could fall apart again, Jaxon
interjected, “All right, let’s eat before the
food gets cold.”
Our meal was pleasant, reverting back to
small talk. I enjoyed hearing Shannon and
Michael talk about their home in Minnesota
on the lake and the stories they shared about
Jaxon and his younger brother growing up. It
was easy to see how Jaxon became such a
good man—he had good parents as role
models.
Before they left for the evening, Shannon
gathered me into one more tight hug.
Smiling, she smoothed the hair away from
my face. “We are family now. You call me if
you need anything, even to vent about my
son. I mean it.” Glancing down to my belly,
she added, “And you take care of yourself
and that sweet baby girl. We can’t wait to
meet her.”
Family.
It had been so long since I’d had a family
outside of the one I’d created. Could it be
that easy to be adopted into Jaxon’s by virtue
of being Charlotte’s mother? I thanked her
for cooking dinner, and she brushed it off,
saying it was what she loved to do. Leading
Michael out, they said goodbye. It was easy
to see that Jaxon’s dad was a man of few
words simply because his wife was so
dynamic. It was refreshing to see a strong
woman unencumbered by a man’s ego.
Jaxon closed the door, then closed the
distance between us. “I think my mom likes
you.”
“I think I really like her too.” The admission
was easy.
 “Do you have some time before you have to
head home?” He motioned to the living
room, a silent invitation to stay longer.
“Yeah, the kids should already be in bed.”
Truthfully, I was enjoying the calm at Jaxon’s
house and would have been reluctant to leave
even if he hadn’t asked me to stay.
“Care for some dessert? I think I might have
some ice cream.”
A laugh bubbled up from my chest. “Never
going to let me live that down, are you?”
Leaning in, his eyes were full of mischief.
“Not until you learn that your every wish is
my command. You say jump, and I will
always ask how high.”
Taking in a shaky breath, I tried to project
confidence. “Well, in that case, I would like
some ice cream.” Licking my lips, I added,
“Please.”
Those whiskey-colored eyes of his flared,
and I watched as his breathing became
ragged. A thrill shot through me, knowing I
could use that same power with words he’d
wielded on me so many times.
Feeling emboldened, I left him standing
there, making my way to the living room,
knowing full well he was watching as I
walked away.
Sitting on the couch, I looked back over my
shoulder to find him still standing there, fists
clenched at his sides. Noticing the bulge in
his pants, I bit my lower lip. There was a
sense of satisfaction in knowing I did that to
him.
“Ice cream?” I batted my eyelashes at him
innocently.
That seemed to jolt him back to reality, and
he blinked before finally striding toward the
kitchen. “Right. Ice cream.”
Jaxon came back into the room with three
pints of ice cream and two spoons. Watching
me eye the pints, he shrugged. “I’m a
heathen.” Placing them on the coffee table
before me, he asked, “Which one would you
like?”
Surveying the options, I grabbed the middle
pint of cookie dough and then took a spoon
out of his hand. Observing as I ate a
spoonful, he teased, “Of course, you would
choose that one.”
My hand froze, a second spoonful halfway
to my mouth. “Oh, did you want it? You can
have it. I’ll pick a different one.”
Sitting next to me, he dipped his spoon into
the pint before asking, “Wanna share?”
Letting him take the burden of the freezing
cold pint, we sat side by side, eating the
cookie dough ice cream together. We’d made
it halfway through when I decided I’d had
enough, licking my spoon clean before
placing it on the coffee table. Jaxon mirrored
my actions, placing the container on the
coffee table.
 Leaning back on the couch, he put an arm
around my waist, and I allowed him to pull
me close so my head could lay on his chest.
His other hand came up to rest on my belly.
This was all so foreign to me. Leo had been
disgusted by my pregnant body, going out of
his way not to touch me. With Jaxon, it
almost seemed like a magnetic pull, his
hands were always finding their way onto my
body.
Looking down to where his hand rested atop
our daughter, my insecurities got the better of
me, and I found myself asking, “Are you sure
you don’t feel trapped?”
“Trapped? No.” The vibrations of his words
through his chest under my head were
strangely soothing.
I pulled back slightly, just enough to look up
at him. “You can tell me the truth.”
His eyes stared into my soul. “Natalie. I’ve
never lied to you, and I don’t intend to start
now. I don’t feel trapped, especially not by
you. We used a condom. Sometimes, they
don’t work.”
“That’s how I was trapped.” The words
were out of my mouth before I realized it,
and I sat up, slapping a hand over my big
mouth.
Oh my God, did I just say that?
For a second, Jaxon was confused. “What
are you talking about?” When I didn’t
respond, he began working through it in his
mind, and his eyes widened. “The unopened
box of condoms?”
Closing my eyes, I nodded. When I opened
them again, there was an anger in Jaxon’s
eyes—something I’d never seen before from
him. Teeth clenched, he managed to ask,
“What did he do?”
Scooching to the other end of the couch to
put some space between us, I attempted to
brush it off. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”
 “Natalie. . .” There was a tone of warning in
his voice. He wasn’t going to drop this.
I sighed, swallowing, before I began,
“Amelia was the result of my ex poking
pinholes in condoms.” I watched the anger in
his eyes turn to pure, unfiltered rage, but I
continued anyway, feeling compelled to
confide in him. “I had no idea for years. I’d
always assumed there was a failure rate on
condoms because there is, as we both know.
But that wasn’t it. One night, something
small set him off, and he made a point of
establishing that I knew he was always in
control. He told me he’d poked the holes
through the wrapper so that I wouldn’t know.
I’d been apprehensive about marrying him
and was still talking about going to college. I
was only eighteen at the time. The idea of me
not being constantly under his thumb—
meeting new people and becoming
independent—scared him. So, he found a
way to get me pregnant without my
knowledge, so I’d abandon that idea, and it
would be harder for me to leave him.”
Staring at me, I watched as he tried to
process how fucked up my life had been
behind the scenes. I couldn’t blame him for
struggling to grapple with the idea that a
husband would do that to his wife. My body
involuntarily shuddered at the thought of
how Leo had sneered when he’d dropped that
bomb on me.
When Jaxon finally spoke, his voice was
calmer than I expected but laced with hurt.
“You thought I would do that to you?”
He was referring to when I’d requested an
unopened box of condoms the night that
Charlie had been conceived—not that it had
mattered much in the end. Shaking my head,
I closed the distance between us, resting a
hand on his thigh. “No, but I’m so messed up
from all he’s done to me. I was already being
completely reckless, so some small part of
me needed to make sure I was looking out for
myself. It took too long for me to realize I
can only count on myself.”
His hands went to his head, and he began to
grip and pull on his hair, breathing through
his nose loudly—each exhale a sharp
punctuation to his anger. He was struggling.
I’d never seen him so close to losing his
temper like this. Every ounce of his effort
was going into not exploding. I knew I
needed to diffuse the situation. Now.
Knowing nothing could be done to change
the past, I tried gently to pull his arms down.
He let me, and I turned his head so that he
was looking directly at me. “You can’t fix
this, Jaxon. I know it’s hard for you to let it
go. I’m not sorry for Amelia, even if it was
shady as hell how she came to me.”
Deadly calm, the anger still in his eyes, he
breathed out, “I want to kill him.”
 That was when it hit me that Jaxon might
honestly be the white knight he’d projected
to be this whole time. Knowing how badly I
was hurt in the past was killing him. He
wanted to take Leo head-on, and I couldn’t
let that happen. His base instincts compelled
him to protect me, but now it was my turn to
protect him. There was only one thing I could
think of that would calm him down and get
him to move past this.
“Jaxon, he doesn’t belong here with us,” I
whispered.
Never breaking eye contact, I stood up from
the couch. Panic filled his face for a split
second before I put one knee on either side of
his lap, straddling him. His breathing became
uneven, and I felt my heart racing, beating so
loudly that it roared in my ears. I knew he’d
wanted this for months, and I was kidding
myself if I didn’t admit that we were always
going to end up here.
 Maybe not like this, but it was inevitable.
Looking down at him from my vantage
point, I ran my hands through his black hair,
closing my eyes as I relished the feel of its
softness. Slowly, I leaned down, peppering
kisses along his clean-shaven jaw as he held
stock still, not daring to move. Pulling back
for a second, I bit my lower lip before
releasing it and lowering my lips to his. He
groaned, opening for me and kissing me back
with a desperation that had heat pooling
between my thighs instantly.
I was ready to get lost in this man.

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 Chapter 15

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 Jaxon

AM I DREAMING?
Natalie was in my lap, kissing me like she
hadn’t just told me something so horrific that
I couldn’t even wrap my mind around it. My
anger melted, replaced with desire, causing
my dick to swell as her hot center pressed
down on me. Even separated by several
layers of clothing, I could feel her heat and
wanted nothing more than to sink into it once
more.
No, I needed it.
I’d been paralyzed as I’d watched her take
control, afraid that if I made a movement, she
might realize what she was doing and run as
she’d done in the past. Tasting her again
threw my senses into overdrive. She was
every bit as incredible as she’d been the first
time.
Finally daring to put my hands on her, I ran
them up her sides until I reached the nape of
her neck, grabbing a fistful of her long
blonde hair. Keeping one hand in her hair, I
used the other to trail down her throat—her
skin was as soft as I remembered—until I
reached a breast. Groaning against her
mouth, I loved her breasts’ new fullness as
they overflowed my hand. Her hips ground
down hard over mine as I ran my thumb over
where I knew her nipple was hidden beneath
her clothes. Ripping her mouth away from
mine, she arched into my touch, moaning.
Goddamn, she’s even more responsive than
before.
Fingers digging into my shoulders to steady
herself, she returned to my mouth, attacking
hungrily. Meeting her stroke for stroke, I
tangled my tongue with hers in a silent fight
for dominance. I felt cool air on my heated
skin as she worked the buttons on my shirt.
Once she had it completely undone, her
hands reached down to skim over my chest,
down to my abs, my muscles contracting
with every touch of her small hands.
Natalie’s mouth followed the path of her
hands down my torso. Closing my eyes, I
savored the feel of her wet lips on my bare
skin. “Baby, you have no idea what you do to
me.”
Feeling her fingers graze the waistband of
my jeans, my eyes snapped open to find
she’d moved onto her knees before me. A
cocky grin crossed her lips, and she stroked
me over the thick denim. “I think I have
some idea.”
Transfixed, I watched as she undid the
button on my jeans, slowly pulling the zipper
down. Flashing her eyes to mine, I could see
how much she was enjoying her power over
me. I was afraid to move—afraid to breathe
—as she tugged at the waistband, lowering
them just enough to reach inside my boxer
briefs and free my cock.
Unable to stop myself, I hissed as she
slowly ran her thumb over the head before
gripping my shaft and giving a single pump
over its length. Eyes locked on mine, she
lowered her head and took the tip into her
mouth, giving a strong pull. I almost came
from the sight of her mouth on my dick, let
alone the feel of it. Never breaking eye
contact, she went deeper, taking long, slow
drags up and down, teasing the tip with her
tongue every time she came back up.
My fingers itched to grab her hair and set
the pace, but I knew that would scare her.
She was coming to me freely, and I wasn’t
going to ruin that, even if it killed me to let
her be in control. She felt so good that I had
to close my eyes, throwing my head back and
gritting my teeth in an effort not to come in
her mouth. Maybe she sensed my need for
mercy because she released me suddenly.
Taking a jagged breath, I dared to look at
her, excited for my turn to tease her. Natalie
was still kneeling on the ground before me,
but something wasn’t right. Her hands
gripped my knees, head hanging down, as
she took in slow, deep breaths.
“Nat—” I began, but she held up a finger,
silencing me. Before I could blink, she was
on her feet, running from the room. Stuffing
myself back into my pants, I ran after her, my
shirt still undone, billowing with my quick
movements. A quick scan showed her shoes
by the door, so I knew she was still in the
house somewhere.
My heart was racing. Where had she gone
and why?
That’s when I heard a noise from the
bathroom down the hall. My blood ran cold,
and I was terrified that something was wrong
with the baby and she needed my help.
Running, I burst through the door, not
bothering to knock. Guilt flooded me when I
found her hunched over the toilet, losing the
contents of her stomach.
Instinctively, I went to her side, moving her
hair away from her face. To my surprise, she
flinched at my touch, wiping her mouth on
her sleeve and backing away from me until
her back hit the wall. I froze when I saw her
eyes were full of fear.
 Was she scared of me? Had I done
something without realizing it?
Curling into a ball against the wall, she
whispered, “I’m so sorry.”
My feet were glued to the spot. As much as
I wanted to go to her, she was frightened, and
I didn’t want to make it worse. Before I could
find the words, she started to cry, her
rambling filling the silence. “I tried; I really
did. I just couldn’t. I know it’s a requirement.
Please don’t be mad.”
A requirement?
I wasn’t one to have a temper, but I wanted
to punch a wall right now—or anything
where I could picture her ex’s face being
pummeled by my fists. I’d hated him since
the moment I’d laid eyes on him all those
years ago, but only because he’d found the
girl of my dreams first. Then, I’d hated him
for throwing away the family I’d coveted my
entire adult life. Now that I knew probably
only half of what he’d done to her, I wanted
to make him pay.
Natalie was curled up on my bathroom
floor, bawling, apologizing to me, afraid of
me for not being able to complete a blowjob
because of him. I was just beginning to
realize the depth of his mental abuse. Amy
and Liam warned me, but their words were
nothing compared to witnessing firsthand
how deeply affected Natalie still was.
Would there ever come a time when he
wasn’t the voice in the back of her mind,
controlling her life even in his absence? I
wasn’t so sure.
“Baby, I’m not mad.” Natalie stared up at
me with those big doe eyes, glassy with tears,
mascara running down her cheeks. The sight
of her broke my heart. Slowly, I put my
hands up and made my way to where she was
on the floor, kneeling next to her. Gathering
her to my chest, I whispered, “You’re safe.
I’ve got you.”
She collapsed against me, sobs racking her
body as I held her. It was clear she didn’t
need more from me in this moment other
than to be there, solid and steadfast. I vowed
that if I ever saw Leo again, I would tear him
limb from limb. It scared me to think that if
he could do this to her, what he might’ve
done to those innocent children I had grown
to love. I couldn’t bear the thought of him
hurting any of them, but I would spend the
rest of my life making sure he never got close
enough again.
Eventually, she ran out of tears, and her
body went limp against mine, physically
spent from the emotional toll of the episode.
Lifting her from the floor, I carried her up the
stairs, tucking her into bed in the guest room.
If there was one thing I knew for sure, it was
that I couldn’t allow the kids to see her like
this.
I was rattled, and I was a grown man.
Quickly, I texted Amy to let her know that
Natalie had suffered an emotional breakdown
and I was going to keep an eye on her for the
night. She responded saying that she’d be
right over to check on her. I didn’t argue.
Amy knew more about this than I likely ever
would.
I left the bedroom door slightly ajar in case
she called out for me and headed downstairs
just in time to hear Amy’s knock.
Letting her in, she took one look at my tense
body before asking, “Was it meeting your
parents?”
I gave a quick shake of my head before I
forced out, “Leo.”
Amy grimaced. “Are you okay?”
Rubbing my jaw, desperately trying to shake
it off, I was failing miserably as I kept
picturing her on the bathroom floor. “Not
really.”
She nodded sympathetically. “I’d be more
concerned if you were fine. Even if she told
you some of the lesser evils he inflicted upon
her, I would tell you right now to walk if you
weren’t this shaken.”
“How did he get away with it? How did
nobody stop him?”
“He’s a powerful, public figure.” She
sighed. “Combine that with the fact he kept
most of his abuse behind closed doors or
even behind her back. She was so afraid that
she distanced herself from those closest to
her. She didn’t want anyone else to become a
target, so she tried to shoulder it all herself.”
Pacing, my mind raced. “Tell me what to
do. I can’t think straight and don’t want to do
the wrong thing. She needs me right now, and
I can’t risk doing something that will scare
her or push her away.”
 Calmly, she sized me up. “You need a
release. It’s the only way you can reset and
get your head level. Get in your car, close all
the doors, turn up the radio, and let it out.
Take a pillow if you think that’ll help. Don’t
come back inside until you’ve expelled every
ounce of the anger you feel right now from
your body. You can’t help her in the state
you’re in.”
Warring with myself, I debated the rational
choice of taking care of myself so that I
could better take care of Natalie versus the
physical impulse to not leave her side after
what had just happened.
Amy, sensing my distress, placed a hand on
my arm. “Go. Trust me. I will look after her
until you get back. Take all the time you
need.”
I knew on a subconscious level that she was
right. She’d been around this long enough to
know better than me how to cope with these
emotions. My protective instincts were in
overdrive, but I nodded, turning on my heel
and heading for the garage.
Jumping into my cold SUV, I let the
temperature shock me a bit. I needed to snap
out of this fast to get back to Natalie. Turning
on the accessory power, I blasted the music
and gripped the steering wheel until my
knuckles turned white. Then, I let out a roar
so loud it raised above the volume of the
radio, and I kept going until my voice was
hoarse as the tension slowly drained from my
body.
Depleted from the exertion, I rested my
head against the steering wheel until my
breathing steadied before exiting the car and
reentering the house. Amy was sitting in the
living room, and when she saw me, she
stood. “She’s fast asleep.”
Relief washed over me that she hadn’t
needed me while I selfishly took care of
myself. “I’ve got her tonight.”
Patting me on the shoulder, Amy headed for
the door. “That was never in doubt. Make
sure she knows I’ve got the kids handled
when she wakes up.”
Nodding, I was glad to have an ally in Amy.
There was a comfort in knowing that when I
couldn’t be there, Natalie had someone who
would prioritize her and protect her if
needed. Once she let herself out, I returned to
the guest bedroom where I’d left Natalie.
Hearing her deep breathing calmed me
further, and I made my way to the recliner in
the corner. Pulling the leg rest into position, I
settled in for a night of keeping vigil over the
one person who had become the most
precious to me.
 The All-Pro Game was the perfect
distraction from all that was happening at
home. The Comets were on a four-game
losing streak, and my head hadn’t been right
since the night Natalie came over for dinner
with my parents. This weekend gave me the
ability to compartmentalize for a bit, and the
screaming crowds of young fans invigorated
me.
I made a point to sign as many pieces of
memorabilia and clothing as possible on the
red carpet. The smiles on the faces of the kids
reminded me that while I loved the game, it
was for the fans. They were the ones who
made my career possible. If no one wanted to
watch the games, I wouldn’t be able to play
and get paid to do so.
The night before brought the All-Pro Skills
Tournament, where we were asked to
compete in different skill challenges against
our peers from other teams in the league—
things like fastest skater, hardest shot,
accuracy, goalie shootouts, and more. It was
more fun than the game the following day
because we could hang out on the ice with no
helmets, enjoying ourselves while catching
up with players from the other teams.
This year, I focused on how many
participating players had their kids down at
ice level for the challenges. Some were old
enough to be on skates themselves, others
were hanging out on the benches, and even a
few babies were held in the arms of their
player dads. Family was the focus, and it
humanized us to the fans. We were just like
them—husbands and fathers. I smiled to
myself, thinking of someday bringing Charlie
and the older kids to an event like this or
even something as simple as having them
come up to the glass during a regular season
game’s warmup.
 As much as I loved connecting with fans, I
was ready to get home after a weekend away.
Each road trip became harder and harder—
the pull to be back with my new family grew
stronger with each passing day.
Natalie’s birthday was coming up, and I was
already formulating a plan. She always put
herself last, and I was determined that it was
finally time for her to see that someone could
put her first. I needed her to know that I
would cherish her and treat her the way she
had always deserved.

OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 16

OceanofPDF.com
 Natalie

BIRTHDAYS HAD BECOME JUST another

day while under Leo’s thumb in Belleston.
Most years, I’d spent the day working, out at
engagements—the emphasis from him was
that my only remaining purpose was to serve
others. Wanting something for myself made
me selfish. In a complete contradiction,
however, he’d always made sure to have
lavish birthday parties, where I’d been
required to stand smiling by his side, fawning
over the man who was the villain in my
living nightmare.
Since returning home, I’d made it my
personal mission to ensure the kids had over-
the-top birthdays so they always knew how
much I loved them and how special they
were. Despite my protests, Amy, Hannah, and
Liam made a big deal of my birthday every
year. I absolutely didn’t feel like celebrating
this year, but they couldn’t be dissuaded.
They’d adjusted their plans a bit from years
past since I wasn’t leaving the house outside
of doctor’s appointments, but they were still
hell-bent on celebrating. Balloons were
everywhere inside the house, and as per
tradition, Amy and Hannah had taken the day
off work to be with me.
The only one missing was Liam.
 On occasions when Jaxon had come over to
the house recently, Liam had made sure to
keep his distance, and I could admit, it stung.
It felt like he was trying to make me choose
between the two of them. He’d been my rock
for so long, and I didn’t want to lose him
over this. Charlie deserved her father. How
could Liam not see that? Did he expect to
step into that role for her, too? He’d become
my best friend—my protector over the years
—and I missed him. Especially today.
Determined to fix whatever was going on
between us, I made my way down to his suite
of rooms in the basement.
When we’d moved here, he’d transitioned to
more of a background role with his charitable
pursuits, which meant hours in front of a
computer, organizing and coordinating from
afar. The six-hour time difference meant that
some days, he was on a completely different
schedule than the rest of us—forced to take
video calls with those on the ground in
Belleston in the middle of the night on the
East Coast.
Finding him in his office, I knocked on the
open door. Looking up from his work, Liam
stood when he realized I was the one at his
door. “What’s wrong?”
Walking in, I stopped him with a dismissive
wave of my hand. “Is that where we are right
now? The only reason I could have for
coming down here is if something is wrong?
When are you going to stop punishing me?”
Sinking back into the desk chair, he sighed.
“I’m not punishing you, Nat.”
Coming further into the room, I rounded the
corner of his desk and came to lean on the
edge of it. “Sure feels like I’m being
punished. You’re hiding down here most
days. I miss my big brother.”
Leaning back in the chair, he ran a hand
through his dark hair. “It’s hard for me to see
you with him.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “Is it just
him? Or would it be like this with any man
coming into our lives? Am I expected to
remain single forever? Is that what you
want?” I didn’t come down here to berate
him, but my hurt feelings got the better of
me, and the words flowed from my mouth
without warning.
“The Natalie I knew six months ago was
excited about the prospect of finally
becoming independent and standing on her
own two feet,” he argued.
This was not going the way I’d hoped.
Anger churned in my belly. “Circumstances
change. People change.”
“I don’t trust him,” Liam snapped. “How
can you be sure he didn’t use the same trick
as Leo? Any fool with eyes could see the way
he’s been leering at you for years. Who’s to
say that he wouldn’t capitalize on a once-in-
a-lifetime opportunity to have you for his
own?”
My temper flared, and I lashed out, “Do you
think so little of me? That I’d choose to be
with someone simply because they’d
knocked me up?” Liam reached for me, but I
moved out of range. Backing away to put
more distance between us, I could see the
regret on his face. He hadn’t meant for me to
take it as a personal attack, but it was too
late. “Maybe you’re the fool if you can’t see
that he’s been here, not just for me, but for
the kids. Where the fuck have you been?
Huh? Sulking? Worried that I don’t need you
as much anymore? Get over yourself. This
isn’t about you.”
He stood, taking a step toward me. “Nat,
that’s not what I meant.”
I didn’t want to hear his hollow apologies.
“You’re just like your brother, trying to
control what I do and don’t do. And you
know what? I’m sick of it. Fuck you, Liam.”
Turning on my heel, I fled the basement.
How dare he? First off, Leo and Jaxon were
on complete opposite ends of the spectrum.
Jaxon spent months proving he was nothing
but kind, caring, and considerate. Second off,
he’d gotten up before dawn with Beau on
Christmas morning. How many single men
would jump into fatherhood like that with
kids who weren’t theirs? If he was only
looking for a way to get back into my pants,
he was really committing. Most importantly,
he’d made promises and kept them without
fail.
By the time I reached the main floor, I was
shaking with rage, and angry tears were
flowing freely down my face. Why was I
made to feel guilty for letting a good man
take care of me? Didn’t I deserve that after
all I’d been through?
 I was done allowing the Remington men to
control my life. It was my turn to call the
shots. Sure, I might be turning twenty-nine
today, but better late than never, right?
I made it as far as the kitchen before I ran
into Hannah and Amy setting up brunch.
Hannah knew I’d gone down to try and make
amends with Liam, so when she saw my
face, she threw her hands on her hips. “Let
me guess. He’s a bullheaded man.”
Collapsing onto an island stool, I wiped
away my tears, but the anger still simmered
beneath the surface. “What does he want
from me? He talks about me wanting to be
independent without a man, yet he wants me
to be dependent on him alone. He can’t have
it both ways.”
Amy tried to be the voice of reason. “Liam
is a natural-born protector. He already feels
like a failure that he couldn’t protect you
from his own brother, and now he’s terrified
he’ll fail again. He cares about you but
sometimes has a backward way of showing
it.”
“You need to do what’s best for you and the
kids,” Hannah added.
I put my head down on the cool marble. “I
don’t want to have to choose between the
father of my daughter and my big brother. It’s
not fair.”
“He’s not going to make you choose,” Amy
declared with confidence.
I lifted my head. “He hates Jaxon.”
“He hates what Jaxon represents. If you let
Jaxon take over the role as your protector, he
won’t know where he fits in your life.”
“What if I don’t want a protector? What if I
want a partner? Liam can’t fill that role.” I
sighed.
Hannah was giddy. “Does that mean you
want Jaxon?”
 “I don’t know.” I groaned. “He says the
right things, does the right things, but is that
enough?”
“Speaking of the right things . . .” Hannah
moved aside, revealing a giant bouquet of
roses.
“The balloons weren’t enough?”
Hannah’s grin grew. “Not from us.”
Reaching into the mass of red roses, she
plucked out a card and extended an arm over
the island to hand it to me.
The card read: Happy Birthday, Natalie. I
would be honored if you’d join me for dinner
tonight at my house at 9 PM.
Laying it on the island once I was done
reading, the girls pounced on it. Hannah
jumped up and down. “You have to go!”
Not convinced, I debated, “I don’t know.
I’m sure you two have the day all planned
out, plus the kids will want to celebrate after
school.”
 Amy was already two steps ahead, as
always. “We can knock out all we have
planned before nine. The kids only care about
cake and will be in bed by then anyway. This
is doable. The only question is, do you want
to go?”
“I haven’t seen him in weeks. I was afraid
I’d scared him off after the dinner with his
parents. That wasn’t my finest moment.”
Hannah brushed it off. “The Comets were
out of town for weeks, then he had the All-
Pro Game.”
“I know. I just really embarrassed myself
that night.” Heat flooded my cheeks thinking
about it now.
Amy added, “I saw him that night—he
wasn’t scared. He was pissed. And it wasn’t
at you. Honestly, what are you afraid of?”
Making a frustrated noise, I responded,
“There’s an attraction there. I can’t pretend
there’s not. He says things that shock me and
turn me on all at the same time, but he can
have any woman he wants. I just happen to
be the one carrying his baby. What if he
doesn’t really want me? What if it’s
convenient because I’m the mother of his
child? Boom, instant family. It’s easier to try
to build something with me than attempting
to split custody as co-parents. I’ve already
been in a one-sided relationship. I can’t do it
again.”
Amy scoffed. “You come with baggage, and
I don’t mean that in a bad way. What man
would find it easier to take you on with three
additional kids?”
“He is incredible with the kids, and they do
love him. I don’t know what to do.” I
groaned.
“Go to dinner.” She made it sound so
simple. “What’s the worst that could happen?
You eat a free meal? Doesn’t sound that bad
to me.”
 Cringing, I thought back to how quickly
things had turned the last time I’d just gone
over for dinner. Making one final attempt at
an excuse to stay home—where I was safe
from myself—I rubbed my belly. “I don’t
have anything to wear. I have a feeling this
isn’t a come-in-your-sweats kind of dinner.”
Hannah and Amy shared a look, instantly
showing their hand that there had been
collusion. Of course there was—they’d been
on Team Jaxon since day one. Smiling,
knowing that my friends would always have
my back, I gave in. “All right, you win. Did
you happen to buy me new shoes too?
Because Jaxon was not a super fan of the
flip-flops in the dead of winter.”
Amy smirked. “What kind of friends would
we be if we let you lose your toes to
frostbite?”
“At least tell me you exercised some
discretion in choosing an outfit.” Sending a
pointed glance at Hannah, I added, “I don’t
need things hanging out at almost seven
months pregnant.”
Hannah pretended to be offended, throwing
a hand to her chest. “I would never!”
I gave her a wry smile. “Yeah, sure. Don’t
think I’ve forgotten the giant box of lingerie
you presented me with at my bridal shower
when we were still in high school.”
“If I thought you could fit in any of those,
I’d suggest you bring one tonight,” she
retorted.
“Hannah!”
She shrugged. “Tell me to my face you
don’t want to jump his bones, and I’ll drop
it.” Unfortunately, my silence was a dead
giveaway. She gasped, accusing, “Oh my
God, did you already jump his bones? And
you didn’t tell us? I thought we were
friends!”
 “Not exactly.” I blushed at the embarrassing
memory.
“What does that even mean?” she asked.
“Was it one of those ‘just the tip’ kinda
things?”
I buried my face in my hands, releasing a
muffled scream of frustration into them.
Amy jumped in, “I think we need more
details to determine if, in fact, you did or did
not jump his bones.”
I sighed. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
Hannah was like a dog with a bone. “No,
you can’t give us a breadcrumb like that and
not give us the whole story.”
If she wanted the truth, fine. “What do you
want me to say? That because of the
pregnancy, I triggered my overly sensitive
gag reflex on his dick and ended up running
from the room to puke in the toilet? Then, I
had a freaking nervous breakdown and he
had to pick up the pieces? Are you happy
now?”
They stared at me in stunned silence. Then,
Hannah started to laugh so hard she had to
clutch her sides. Amy couldn’t help the
infectiousness of Hannah’s belly laughs, and
soon, she was in a fit of giggles too.
Hannah forced out, “Can’t. Breathe.”
Rolling my eyes, annoyance colored my
words. “So glad my train wreck of a life
amuses you both.”
Amy began to come down from her
laughter. “I’m sure that made quite the
impression.”
I thought back to that embarrassing night
and how I’d revealed more to him about how
fucked up my life had been with Leo. He
should be running for the hills. I wouldn’t
blame him if he did. I was completely aware
that I was more than most men could handle,
even if I didn’t come with the extra kids.
He’d taken it in stride when I’d been terrified
that he would think I was a tease who
couldn’t finish the job. Taking care of me,
he’d watched over me while I’d slept off the
hysterical episode that had debilitated me.
Thoughtfully, I responded, “I think his
response was more telling than anything.”
Hannah calmed down but still clutched her
side. “Let me guess, white knight Jaxon
made everything all right.”
“Ugh, why does he have to be so good?
Why couldn’t he be some asshole who
wanted nothing to do with us? He’s
unapologetically walked into our lives and
shaken them up. Just not the way I thought
he would.”
Amy was ever the voice of reason. “Maybe
your life needed a little shaking up. You
haven’t been living. You’ve been trying to
survive.”
 She was right. I knew she was. Jaxon had an
effect on me, and I constantly found myself
spilling all the horrors of my past to him—
which, in a way, was cathartic. Maybe I’d
needed someone good and kind from the
outside to come along so that I could divest
myself of all those deep, dark secrets that
lived inside my head—someone who didn’t
already know my sad story, who wanted
nothing more than to listen without
judgment. Jaxon had become that person. I’d
felt compelled to share more with him
because it made me feel lighter. Starting to
find myself again with his help, I relied on
his understanding presence.
Something about tonight felt special, and
not because it was my birthday. There was a
shift happening. I could feel it. My guard
lowered more with every interaction, and if I
knew Jaxon even a little, he would pull out
all the stops.
 Maybe it was finally time to stop fighting it.
He’d continued to pursue me, even when I’d
given him every reason to flee.
Perhaps he was the real deal after all.

OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 17

OceanofPDF.com
 Natalie

THE HOURS WERE TICKING down on my

twenty-ninth birthday, but I found myself on
Jaxon’s doorstep a few minutes before 9 PM.
The girls had set me up with a timeless long-
sleeved black wrap dress that hit at the knee
and some new black ballet flats—a size
larger than my usual. A shimmery silver wrap
shielded me from the cold.
 Knocking on the door, I shivered, but not
because of the frigid winter temperature. I
knew what waited on the other side of that
door had the potential to become my future.
Holding my breath, I stood in anticipation for
what seemed like an eternity before Jaxon
finally opened the door, and my heart
stopped. He was handsome on a good day,
but the man who stood in the open doorway
could only be described as devastatingly
gorgeous.
Blinking to make sure I wasn’t dreaming, I
drank in the view he provided. Clad in a
black suit with the jacket open revealing a
white button-up featuring an open collar, it
gave him a formal yet relaxed look. Clean-
shaven, his short black hair was perfectly
styled, a stark contrast to the carefree look
he’d portrayed these past few months.
He took my breath away.
 Jaxon reached out as I watched, frozen to
the spot, wondering if this would be when I
finally woke up. Touching the bottom edge of
my hair, he smiled, remarking, “This is new.”
Reaching up to where his hand was, I
snapped back to reality, realizing what he
was talking about. Amy had helped me dye
my hair back to its natural color, which was
almost as black as Jaxon’s. She’d also cut it
so that now it barely brushed my shoulders,
curled as it was tonight. Taking my hand, he
pulled me out of the cold, closing the door
behind us.
Finally finding my voice, I explained,
keeping it light, “I didn’t feel like hiding in
your backseat anymore. I figure with a pair
of sunglasses and the new hair, no one will
recognize me.”
He smirked. “Maybe your next job could be
working undercover for the government.”
 “Not a half-bad idea. I do have some
experience working with foreign dignitaries,”
I teased back.
Changing from joking to serious, he stated,
“I think it looks great. If possible, you look
even more beautiful.”
I wasn’t sure there would ever come a day
when I could take those compliments without
blushing, but the more he said them, the
more I began to believe them. Rounding
behind me, he eased the shawl from my
shoulders, whispering in my ear, “Happy
Birthday, Natalie.”
Unable to keep myself from smiling, I
looked back at him. “Thank you.”
Allowing me the time to slip off my shoes,
he took my hand, leading me into his dining
room. I’d never been inside this room before,
and tonight it was dimmed, lit by candles on
the table, featuring two silver trays laid out
waiting for us to sit. Holding out a chair for
me, I sat before he rounded to the opposite
side of the table.
Smiling back at me, Jaxon lifted the tops of
the trays, revealing the plates beneath, before
sitting himself. The meal set before us
consisted of crab cakes with remoulade and
steamed vegetables—my favorite. There was
no way he came up with this meal on his
own, but I wasn’t mad. My friends wanted
the best for me and thought that was Jaxon.
Maybe they were right if he went to such
great lengths to make this day special for me.
“Had a little help, did you?” I teased him.
He chuckled. “Just a little.”
“It looks amazing, thank you.”
He popped a bottle of sparkling cider for us,
and we ate quietly. I made a mental note to
ask where he’d gotten the food because the
crab cake was hands down the best I’d ever
had. A tiny moan had escaped my lips when
I’d first tasted it, eliciting a smirk from Jaxon
across the table and then my resulting blush.
After we finished dinner, he led me to the
kitchen, where a small naked iced cake sat on
the center island, garnished with a few
candied cherries. Lighting a single candle in
the center, Jaxon stood by my side,
whispering low in my ear, “Make a wish.”
Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath in
preparation.
I want all my children to be happy, whole,
and loved.
Blowing out the breath, the candle’s flame
died, smoke billowing in a thin stream
toward the ceiling. My wish might have been
considered cheating a little bit because they
were almost there. Jaxon had helped so much
to fill the hole created by being practically
abandoned and emotionally abused by their
father. He’d given himself selflessly to them,
asking for nothing in return.
 Jaxon cut two slices of cake, suggesting we
eat in the living room more comfortably.
Taking the plate containing my slice from
him, I followed him to the oversized leather
couch that was starting to hold more than a
little history for us. Sitting slightly apart, I
took a bite of cake, letting the flavors of the
light almond cake with cherry filling dance
across my tongue.
Watching as I took that first bite, waiting
until I finished, he admitted, “I hope you
don’t mind that I had a little help with this as
well.”
“So, was tonight your idea? Or did Hannah
and Amy put you up to it? Seems like they
touched every part of it.” I took another bite
of cake. It was too delicious to wait for his
response.
Still not touching his slice of cake yet, he
smiled, showing off his straight white teeth, a
total contradiction to the hockey player
stereotype of missing teeth. “I wanted tonight
to be perfect for you. Who better to help me
with all your favorites than your best
friends?”
“Sure doesn’t hurt that they’re on Team
Jaxon.” Sarcasm entered my tone.
“Team Jaxon?” His eyebrows climbed
higher on his forehead.
Did I say that out loud?
Taking another bite of cake, trying to cover
my slip of the tongue, my words muffled by
my full mouth. “Nothing.”
He didn’t buy it but let it slide, changing the
subject. “So, when did you go blonde?”
Setting my plate down on the coffee table, I
swallowed the bite of cake in my mouth. “I
think it was when I was seventeen? It seemed
like a fun idea at the time when Leo
suggested that it would make us more
aesthetically pleasing as a couple. The joke
was on him when Amelia came out with jet-
black hair and ruined the image he’d hoped
for of a perfectly blond family.”
Jaxon smirked. “I remember thinking that
when I first met you. Amelia seemed like she
didn’t belong. I know now that she’s got your
exact coloring. She’s as beautiful as her
mother.”
My lips twisted in thought. “Beauty will
only get you so far in life. I’d rather she be
confident. That’s not something that can be
manufactured.”
“She certainly wasn’t afraid to give me a
piece of her mind a couple of months ago.
You don’t have to worry about her.”
“I wish I could be a better role model for her
in that regard. Thankfully, she has Hannah
and Amy to look up to.” Thinking about it, I
amended, “Well, maybe just Amy. Hannah is
a little too confident.”
That made him laugh. “Yeah, Hannah’s
something special, that’s for sure.”
 I found myself smiling as well. “Amelia’s
named after Amy. I remember thinking that I
wanted my daughter to be like her. Maybe if
I’d been more like her, I wouldn’t have been
so easily manipulated.”
“I’m sure you did the best you could.”
Jaxon’s tone softened, sympathetic.
Exhaling deeply, I replied, “I wish I could
believe that. I fell so easily into the trap.
Enticing a perfectionist to be more perfect? It
was so easy to be fooled. I did everything he
suggested, essentially becoming a living doll.
The blonde hair was only the start. Then
came the laser eye correction, the veneers,
injectable fillers in my face, and even the
suggestion of plastic surgeries like a tummy
tuck and a breast lift. I was living under the
illusion that perfection was enough to make
everything better. Newsflash—it wasn’t. I
never got there, and life only got harder.”
 Sliding closer to me on the couch, Jaxon
tucked my newly shortened hair behind one
ear. “The problem wasn’t with you. The first
time I saw you, I fell under your spell. I have
to confess that I silently prayed you were a
player’s nanny, and it ripped my heart out
when I realized you were already taken. I
was never the same after that day.”
Brushing off his words, I countered
cynically, “I’m sure there have been plenty of
women since then.”
“There have been,” he admitted truthfully.
“But none of them were you. I couldn’t stand
to be with blondes because the only blonde I
wanted was you.”
Letting that sink in, I asked, “So everyone
was right? Saying you’ve always had a crush
on me?”
He dropped his gaze, timid. “I wasn’t the
best at hiding it. I think you may have been
the only person who never noticed. I’m sure
if you had, you would have avoided me.
Maybe you should have. I’ve turned your life
upside down.”
“But-but you barely knew me,” I breathed
out in disbelief.
Warm brown eyes met mine. “Everything I
found out about you made me want to learn
more. Getting to know you these past few
months, you’ve proven to be even better than
how I’d built you up in my mind. You may
not think you’re perfect, but I know you’re
perfect for me.”
The air grew thick as I grappled with his
words. “Me? Why, when you can have
anyone?”
Leaning in close, Jaxon cupped my cheek
with his warm palm. “Natalie, it’s always
been you. Since I was eighteen, no other
woman has ever come close. There hasn’t
been a woman since you, and there won’t be
ever again. You’ve ruined me for other
women, now that I know the reality blows
the fantasy out of the water. You’re it for me,
and I’ll wait for you as long as it takes. I’m
not going anywhere. I’m in love with you.”
Suddenly, the world faded away, and all I
could see was Jaxon—finally able to truly
see him for the first time. There were no
games, hidden agendas, lies, or attempts at
control. He’d bent over backward to fit into
my complicated life simply because he cared
about me. Me. Now here he was, baring his
soul, telling me there weren’t any other
women, and he was willing to wait until I
was ready, continuing to put me first.
Undoubtedly, this was the ultimate defining
moment in my life. I’d either choose to live
in the past—letting those demons haunt me
forever—or I’d move forward and begin to
live again. It didn’t take much time to realize
that I couldn’t waste this opportunity to try to
build a life, a family, with this man who gave
me every reason to believe that he loved me
as much as he’d just proclaimed.
I’m not going anywhere. His words were
stuck in my brain. He’d seen me at my
absolute worst and had been nothing but kind
and understanding. If he hadn’t run by now,
the odds were good that he wasn’t going to.
With no idea how long I’d been sitting there
processing his words, I closed my eyes,
inhaling deeply the scent of him—letting it
invade my senses with how close we were.
Feeling the feather-light touch of his thumb
on my lower lip, I dared to open my eyes,
gasping at the intensity of Jaxon’s stare.
Coming closer, his lips hovered over mine,
and my eyes fluttered closed again as I heard
him whisper, “Tell me you don’t want this.”
Finally taking something for myself, I sank
my hands into his hair and pulled his mouth
down to mine, eliciting a groan from deep
within his chest. Allowing me to take charge
of the kiss for a few seconds, I felt when the
shift happened as he tugged on my lower lip
with his teeth. His mouth then consumed me,
taking total control of the kiss, our tongues
battling as I tugged at the lapels on his suit
jacket in a desperate attempt to bring our
bodies closer.
My pulse throbbed between my legs. I’d
never felt a need like this before—like if I
didn’t have him, I might combust. A whimper
escaped my lips as he left my mouth, kissing
a path along my jaw before he nipped at my
earlobe, sending shockwaves through my
body.
Gasping, I arched into his body. “I need
you, Jaxon.”
Growling into my neck, he moved lower to
my collarbone, setting little fires everywhere
his mouth touched. Cool air caressed my
heated skin as he pulled away, I panicked,
thinking maybe he had changed his mind.
Forcing my eyes open, I found him looking
up at me with an intense fire blazing in his
whiskey brown eyes.
Taking one finger, he toyed with the tie of
my wrap dress resting under my breasts, a
question in his eyes.
Nodding, expecting him to make quick
work of my dress, he teased me, pulling on
the tie inch by inch, his eyes never leaving
mine. Needing physical contact, I ran my
hand back into his hair, tugging lightly,
silently urging him to stop playing with me.
Smirking and giving in to my demands, he
pulled harder, freeing the knot holding the
dress together, exposing me to his gaze, and
allowing the room’s cool air to rush over my
heated skin.
Every instinct screamed at me to cover
myself. I knew I didn’t look like the same
woman he’d seen laid bare before him
months ago. Everything was bigger, fuller
than it had been before. That also extended to
my now swollen belly, which could no longer
be ignored.
Instead of being turned off by my temporary
figure, Jaxon’s eyes flared as he surveyed the
sight before him. He ran a single finger down
my body, beginning at my collarbone, tracing
the swell of my enlarged breasts along the
outline of the black lace bra Hannah and
Amy had provided along with the dress,
running it down over the bump containing
our daughter, only stopping when he reached
the edge of my matching black lace panties.
Voice low and rough, he breathed out,
“Gorgeous.”
The conviction in his declaration awoke a
confidence in myself that had laid dormant
all these years. Shoving the sleeves of the
dress down my arms, I reached behind my
back, unhooking the clasp of my bra,
allowing my heavy breasts to bounce free.
Jaxon wasted no time, testing their new
weight with both hands, closing his eyes and
groaning as I responded with a moan of my
own, arching into his light touch, silently
begging for more.
At my urging, he lowered his head to one
breast, teasing the overly sensitized nub with
his teeth before sucking it deep into his
mouth. A gasp flew past my lips, the pulsing
between my thighs growing more insistent
with each passing minute. Shifting my hips,
looking for relief, he continued his assault,
his other hand caressing the side of my belly.
Giving one last strong pull before a light
flick of his tongue, he moved his attention to
the opposite breast.
Once he’d had his fill, he moved down the
couch to the floor, getting on his knees before
me. Gripping my hips, he pulled me toward
him so I was in a semi-reclined position, my
ass right on the edge of the couch. Hooking
his thumbs into the waistband of the black
lace panties resting low on my hips, he
tugged them down my legs before dropping
them on the ground.
Fully naked now, laid open before him,
there was something so erotic about him still
being fully dressed while I was entirely
exposed.
Jaxon just stared, causing me to squirm
under his gaze. Needing something—
anything—and not wanting to wait any
longer, I reached up and started to roll a
nipple between my thumb and forefinger.
Closing my eyes, I savored the pleasure
flowing through my body.
“You’re killing me, Natalie,” he groaned.
“Then fucking touch me, Jaxon,” I
practically begged.
Hearing the noise he made low in the back
of his throat, I smiled, knowing he was
similarly affected by our connection. My
body was a live wire at this point, so I
jumped when he gently laid his hands on the
inside of my thighs. Forcing my eyes open, I
found his head only inches from where I
needed him the most.
Allowing one hand to wander closer to my
throbbing pussy, he ran one finger through
the slickness he found there, groaning,
“Baby, you’re so wet for me.”
Hips bucking uncontrollably into his touch,
I was on edge, needing this more than I
needed to breathe. “Please, Jaxon.”
Head dipping lower, I could feel his breath
against my heated flesh as he inhaled deeply.
“I’ve dreamt of this every single day,
wondering if I’d imagined how incredible
you tasted right here.” His tongue snaked out
for a quick flick on my clit, and I couldn’t
contain the squeal that escaped my lips.
“God, you’re more delicious than I
remember. I could worship you like this
every day.” He punctuated his words with
flicks of his tongue. “Just. Like. This.”
Shamelessly, I rode his face—as he took his
time with long, slow strokes—trying to urge
him to move faster, chasing my release.
Jaxon pulled back enough to teasingly
chastise my efforts. “Patience, baby. It’ll be
worth it, I promise.” His lips were still so
close that his words vibrated against my
sensitive flesh, and I moaned, my hips lifting
involuntarily.
Jaxon licked circles around my clit, close
enough to drive me wild, but not close
enough to bring me the release I so
desperately craved. A light sheen of sweat
coated my body as I strained against his
touch. Eyes clenched shut, focused on the
pleasure coursing through my body, I felt him
lift my thighs onto his shoulders as he finally
put his tongue where I needed it, pressing
down as I bucked against him.
 “More, Jaxon,” I pleaded, the throbbing
almost reaching the point of pain.
Tingling everywhere, I felt my legs begin to
shake uncontrollably, tightening around his
head situated between my thighs. I was
wound so tight—right on the edge—that
when he took two fingers, thrusting them
inside me and redoubling the efforts of his
tongue, I shattered.
Arching my back, I screamed out, clutching
the couch cushions at my side as wave after
wave of pleasure rolled through me while
Jaxon continued to use his tongue, drawing
out my orgasm.
Only when I fell limp against the couch did
Jaxon kiss a path back up my body until he
reached my mouth, kissing me deeply,
allowing me to taste myself on his tongue.
Sighing against my mouth, I felt the smile
on his lips. “I love watching you fall apart.
The way your skin flushes, how responsive
you are, not holding anything back.”
Eyes still closed, trying to slow my erratic
breathing, I whispered, “Only for you.”
Feeling him still next to me, I dared to open
my eyes after that admission. The look in his
eyes was primal, bordering on dangerous, but
I wasn’t scared. Not of him.
A corner of his lips turned up, and he
stroked my cheek with a thumb. “Never
doubt that you come first with me. Always. I
will never take my own pleasure before I’ve
seen to yours.” His other hand grabbed mine
and brought it to the bulge in his suit pants.
“Do you feel that? Pleasuring you makes me
so hard that I struggle not to come in my
pants like a teenager.”
Gripping his length through his pants, I
marveled at the idea that he could be this
hard, this desperate for me, and still see to
my needs first. Jaxon made me feel
cherished, special, and above all, loved. A
calm settled over me, being with him like
this, even completely nude. Suddenly, I knew
this was exactly where I belonged.
Giving his cock a little squeeze, I heard him
hiss. Finding the strength to stand on shaky
legs, I left him sitting on the couch as I
headed for the stairs, putting a little extra
sway in my step, feeling sexy for the first
time in my life. Reaching the stairs, I peered
over my shoulder, asking, “You coming?”
Jaxon blinked, then swallowed, still glued to
his seat on the couch. “What?”
Smiling, I took three steps up, calling back,
“I’m going upstairs. If you’re not up here in
five minutes, I’ll just have to finish the job
myself.” I’d never been so bold, but I liked
teasing him, eliciting a response.
I reached the top of the staircase before I
heard Jaxon bounding up the steps, hot on
my heels. Wrapping his arms around my
belly, pulling my back against his front, he
growled in my ear, “My little vixen.”
A shiver racked my body at his rough tone.
Leaning into his embrace, I turned my head
to look back at him. “Took you long
enough.”
His laugh vibrated through his chest into my
own before he nipped at the sensitive spot
where my neck met my shoulder, causing me
to involuntarily arch against him. I felt the
erection insistent beneath his fly, pressing
against my bare ass.
Turning in his arms, I shoved his suit jacket
off. “You’re wearing too many clothes. Strip
for me.”
Stepping backward, he let me slip from his
grasp as I carefully backed down the hallway
toward his master bedroom. Like a lion
stalking its prey, he matched me step for step,
slowly undoing the buttons of his white shirt
before working on his belt. Kicking off his
shoes, he continued to follow me, undoing
the button at the top of his pants before
lowering the zipper, letting the fabric pool at
his ankles before stepping out of them. Now,
he stood before me clad only in an open shirt
and his black boxer briefs, which were doing
nothing to hide the proof of his arousal.
Crossing the threshold of the bedroom, I
gripped the sides of his open shirt, pulling
him to me, kissing him, rekindling the fire
he’d stoked within me downstairs. Turning
him around, I shoved him into a sitting
position on the edge of the bed, remaining
standing before him. With him sitting like
this, he had no height advantage, and I
stepped into his arms, feeling his warm skin
against mine.
Pushing the shirt off his shoulders, I ran my
hands over every inch of exposed skin on his
chest and abdomen. Biting my lip, I admired
all the muscles he’d likely spent years
developing. Jaxon allowed me free reign to
explore his body until my fingers reached the
waistband of his underwear. When his hand
lightly circled my wrist, I looked up in
question.
He groaned. “Natalie . . .”
“I want to touch you.” My words were
barely above a whisper.
Swallowing, his Adam’s apple bobbing, he
clarified, “I need you to know that there are
no requirements with me. You are free to do
as much or as little as you choose. My love
for you doesn’t hinge on which sexual acts
you are comfortable performing.”
Pulling lightly against his grasp, he released
the loose hold on my wrist, not stopping me
when I went back to where I’d begun.
Reaching inside the waistband, I freed his
waiting cock and gripped the warm length in
my hand. In a counter move, Jaxon reached
up to tease my nipple with his teeth, and I
gripped even harder in response, throwing
my head back on a moan.
The moisture was gathering between my
legs again as I rocked against his muscular
body while continuing to stroke up and down
along his length, using my thumb to circle
the tip. He was thrusting into my hand, and I
enjoyed having total command over him.
Instantly, I decided to take charge this time.
I got a small thrill thinking that I could be in
control.
Pulling back, I shoved his chest lightly.
Jaxon got the message and leaned back
against the bed. Shoving his boxer briefs
down his legs, he kicked them off, moving
further back onto the bed. His eyes were
shadowed with lust, and I watched his chest
heave, breathing heavily, as I crawled onto
the bed to where he lay.
Straddling his prone form, I gripped the
base of his dick and let it slide through my
slickness, moaning as it made contact with
my still-sensitive clit. Jaxon’s hands gripped
my thighs, letting me take what I needed.
Lining the head up against my entrance, a
shadow of doubt crossed Jaxon’s face.
“Are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you.”
His words were strained, but I knew he
would stop if I asked him to.
My response was wordless as I sank down
onto his length, slowly letting my body
adjust to his size until I was fully seated atop
him. Giving a roll of my hips, I threw my
head back, letting the sensation of having
him fill me roll over my body.
Feeling Jaxon’s hands move from my thighs
to my hips, I rocked against him again until I
heard a groan slip from his lips. “Jesus, Nat.
Baby, you’re so tight. You feel amazing.”
Leaning forward slightly, I rested my hands
on his chest and slowly moved my hips up
and down, savoring the feel of him for
myself and teasing him at the same time.
Jaxon allowed me to set the pace—to use his
body for my own pleasure—but I could tell
when his control began to slip. His grip
tightened, holding my hips still as he pumped
into me from below, the angle perfect for his
cock to graze my clit with every stroke.
My fingers dug into his pecks, getting closer
and closer to that peak as his body threatened
to throw me over. It was almost too much,
the friction delicious and overwhelming at
the same time.
“Jaxon, I can’t . . . It’s too much.”
Jaxon only increased his pace, grunting with
the effort, forcing out the words, “Yes, you
can. Come for me, baby. I’ve got you.”
His words only heightened the sensation,
and my body coiled tighter and tighter until it
snapped, and it felt like I stopped breathing,
seeing stars behind my eyes as my world
came apart. Jaxon’s grip grew almost painful
as he pumped harder before I felt the groan
of release ripped from his throat, and he
thrust a few more times, emptying himself
into me.
Collapsing on top of him, he carefully rolled
my body, tucking me into his side. For a
time, we just lay there, allowing our
breathing to even out.
Running hands along his smooth chest, I
boldly asked, “Is it always like that?”
I needed to know. My limited experience
said no, but maybe it had more to do with the
man’s skill set than the chemistry between a
couple.
Capturing my hand with his own, Jaxon
turned to look into my eyes. “No. I’m not
going to pretend that I haven’t enjoyed my
fair share of sex, but there’s never been a
connection like this. Nothing has ever come
close to how I feel when I’m with you.”
 He’d never lied to me and had claimed he
never would, so how could I not believe him?
There was no denying that what we shared
was special, even if it wasn’t the most
conventional start to a relationship.
No matter how we’d come together, I knew
one thing for certain—my life would never
be the same again.

OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 18

OceanofPDF.com
 Jaxon

I WAS ADDICTED TO Natalie. There was

no other way to describe it. When she was
near, I couldn’t keep my hands off her, and
when we were apart, the craving for her was
so intense that it was difficult to think
straight.
We fell into a steady routine, with me
spending every spare moment I had at her
house—playing the father role to her kids—
and at night, we found new ways to drive
each other wild with pleasure.
Unable to slake my thirst for her, I soaked
up every minute in her presence, whether at
family dinners, game nights, or during those
private moments when it was just us. Being
with her was enough. This was the dream—
this was our family—and Charlotte would
only make our world complete.
Well, almost.
Knowing she was my forever, I’d made a pit
stop while on a road trip to New York,
picking out an elegant yet understated
diamond ring for my girl.
My girl.
Having pictured the dream for so long, it
took time for it to sink in that Natalie had
truly become mine. The ring was secured at
home in my safe, waiting for the timing to be
perfect to ask her to be my wife. She wasn’t
ready yet. Moving too fast would only scare
her, but we were making leaps in the right
direction.
Making sure to tell her that I loved her
every chance I got, I knew I could wait for
her. There was no set time frame. I’d
promised myself a long time ago that I was
playing the long game, and so far, it was
working. Having waited this long—never
dreaming she could be mine—I could wait a
little longer.
Valentine’s Day was coming up. There was
a Comets game that night, and the team was
leaving for a week-long road trip the
following day, so we decided to celebrate
early with the kids. The push for the playoffs
was on, so my schedule was getting crazier,
and I only had one free night that week
before I left.
Arriving that evening, I was mobbed by the
trio of tiny Remingtons I’d come to love.
 Beau hugged my legs. “Jaxon!”
Amelia’s eyes widened when she saw the
roses in my arms. “Oh! Mom is going to love
those!”
Jameson offered to take bags from my arms,
then asked excitedly, “Will you help us with
our valentines tonight?”
Handing him a bag to lighten my load, I
answered without hesitation, “Of course, I’ll
help. Let me get dinner started, and then we
can get to work.”
Walking into the kitchen, I brushed a quick
kiss on Natalie’s lips before emptying my
arms. Grabbing the bouquet of red and white
roses from the pile, I handed them to her.
“For my best lady.”
Taking them, she smiled, lighting up my
world. “Thank you. They’re beautiful.”
“Not as beautiful as you.” I winked. I loved
watching the resulting blush any time I
complimented her.
 Natalie busied herself, finding a vase for her
flowers. Once they were settled, I plucked a
single red rose from the bouquet. Turning
around, getting down on one knee, I held it
out to Amelia. “For my best girl.”
Amelia stared at the flower I held. “For
me?”
Leaning in to brush a kiss on her cheek, I
pushed the rose into her hand. “Every girl
should get flowers on Valentine’s Day. No
exceptions.”
Her cheeks turned a beautiful shade of pink,
and it struck me how much she was like her
mother. I decided at that moment to shower
her with compliments as she grew up, so
she’d know exactly how precious she was.
She deserved to know her worth so that,
hopefully, she would never allow a man to
take advantage of her.
Grabbing a tall glass from the cupboard, I
filled it halfway with water, inviting Amelia
to place her single rose inside. Starting to
unpack all the bags I’d brought, I sorted it all
on the island—food for dinner, sparkling
cider, and four heart-shaped boxes of
chocolates.
Jameson took inventory of the massive haul,
exclaiming, “Chocolate!”
Natalie chided, “Not before dinner. Go
make sure all your homework is done, then
play with your brother.”
They all ran off, and I was finally alone with
the woman I loved. Pulling her close, I took
advantage, claiming a deeper kiss from her
mouth. She sighed against me, and I felt
blood pool in my groin. Breaking the kiss, I
leaned my forehead against hers. “Happy
Valentine’s Day, love.”
Natalie’s eyes sparkled. She’d been coming
alive before my very eyes these past few
weeks, and I had to pinch myself. How had I
gotten this lucky?
 Reaching up, she toyed with my hair, which
I loved. Tilting her head up to look up at me,
she remarked, “You know, I really liked your
hair longer when you were younger.”
That was not what I was expecting, and I
pulled back, surprised, before feeling a
corner of my lips quirk up. “Were you
checking me out?”
“I’m always checking you out, babe.” She
winked, causing my budding erection to
swell into a full-blown hard-on. Her
newfound confidence was sexy as hell.
Laughing, I stole another kiss. “You are just
full of surprises. I love this side of you.
Playful Natalie might just be my favorite.”
“Then I’ll have to make sure she comes out
to play more often.” She licked her lips,
signaling she was getting turned on too.
“Don’t tease me,” I warned. “I can’t ravish
you in the kitchen while the kids are home.”
 That blush was back, and she deflected,
looking at the ingredients I’d picked up for
dinner. “So, what do we have here?”
Rearranging the items, I said, “Well, I
thought we’d go for comfort and elegance. I
was thinking mac and cheese, which the kids
will love, and I’ve got a couple of filets for
us.”
Natalie fake pouted, her heart-shaped lips
pushing together. “What if I want the mac?”
“Baby, with me, you can have whatever you
want. You know that.” I nipped that
protruding lower lip of hers.
She moaned as I released it slowly from my
teeth before saying breathlessly, “Just
kidding. The filet sounds amazing.”
I smirked. “That’s what I thought. Now, be a
good girl and get off your feet while your
man cooks for you.”
Moving behind me, she gave my ass a quick
grab, teasing me once more on her way out
of the kitchen. “Your wish is my command.”
“Temptress,” I called after her.
Looking over her shoulder, she couldn’t
resist one last taunt. “Maybe later.”
God, that woman. My love for her grew by
the day—hell, it grew every time she opened
her mouth.
Once she was gone, I snuck a peek to ensure
she was relaxing before getting to work on
dinner. I could spend the rest of my life doing
this, coming home to her after a long day or a
long road trip, cooking for her and the kids. I
could picture our life together with vivid
clarity but forced myself to remember to take
things one day at a time.
Amelia helped me set the table, and Beau
wanted to be helpful, so I let him stir the mac
and cheese. It was heartwarming to realize I
could give them the same experiences I’d had
growing up. Cooking in the kitchen as a
family had been a weekly occurrence in the
Slate house when I was a kid. My childhood
was full of good memories, and it felt
incredible knowing that I was changing the
narrative for these children.
Dinner was a noisy affair, as always, with
the kids talking over each other and laughter
filling the air. I marveled at how quickly the
shift had happened—going from my family
being my hockey brothers to these children
and their mother. Deep in my soul, I knew I
didn’t want it any other way.
After clearing the dishes, I presented each
child with their chocolates in a heart-shaped
box. Natalie let them choose two pieces each
to eat before we started on their valentines
and receptacle boxes to take to school for the
exchange. Amelia and Jameson dragged out
large boxes of craft supplies and three shoe
boxes, setting up in the middle of the living
room.
 The older kids had a list of names to address
valentines for their classmates, but Beau was
only tasked with writing his name on each
card. It was quiet for the first time that
evening as they all concentrated on writing.
Once that was accomplished, the flurry of
activity was back.
Amelia was independently working while
Jameson buddied up with me, asking for my
help in building his box to his liking. Natalie
stuck with Beau, whose demands were
simple. Jameson and I spent an hour building
his box into a robot with heart-shaped eyes
and a big rectangular hole for a mouth to
accept the cards meant for him.
This was all so simple, but it meant the
world for this to be my life.
The thought crossed my mind that I wanted
to take them home to Minnesota this summer
in the off-season. The kids would love the
lake, whether it was simply swimming or
going out on the boat.
This right here was my future. The best was
yet to come.

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 Chapter 19

OceanofPDF.com
 Natalie

JAXON AND I WERE living in this perfect

little bubble of happiness, and I finally began
to believe that I was worthy of his love. The
kids were thriving, and Charlotte was
growing healthy and right on track. Liam and
I still weren’t speaking, but I pushed that to
the back of my mind most days. I couldn’t
turn down the chance to give my kids a
functioning family in favor of his ego.
Even with the strained relationship with my
brother, I felt free for the first time in my life.
I’d turned off the press alerts on my phone,
felt comfortable in my own body—despite its
rapid expansion in growing Charlie—and I
was truly loved by a good man who put me
and my kids first.
Just as I let my guard down, the bubble
burst.
On Valentine’s Day, the kids went off to
school, and shortly after lunch, the doorbell
rang.
Amy was working from home and decided
to answer it so that I didn’t have to get up.
Joking on her way to the door, she called
back, “I bet it’s something else from Jaxon.”
Curled up reading on the couch, the hairs on
the back of my neck raised when I heard the
hostile tone in her voice from down the
hallway. “What are you doing here?”
Amy was kind to everyone, minus one
person—the person who still haunted my
nightmares. Putting down my book, I sent up
a silent prayer.
Please, don’t be him. Please, don’t be him.
All hope fled my body when I heard the
booming footsteps and that familiar voice
striking fear into my heart. “I have every
right to see my children, Amy.”
Leo came into view as I stood. Sizing me up
with his cool, calculating stare, he made me
squirm—he’d always had the ability to strip
me down with only a look, making me feel
like less for simply existing.
Finally, he let out a dark laugh, sending a
shudder down my spine. “Well, well, well,
what do we have here? I thought the rehab
story would have been enough to smoke you
out, but now it makes sense why you’ve been
hiding.” Clicking his tongue, he added,
“Naughty, naughty Natalie.”
Amy must have run to warn Liam in the
basement because suddenly, he burst into
view, followed by Amy. The tension radiating
off Liam was palpable as he asked through
clenched teeth, “What are you doing here?”
Completely ignoring his brother, Leo asked
me, “I know for sure that this one isn’t mine.
What unsuspecting fool did you trick this
time, Natalie?” He gestured to my growing
belly as his lips curled in disgust.
Trying to use some of my newfound
confidence, I stared him down. Mentally, I
was shaking in my boots. “None of your
damn business.”
Pretending to be offended, a sinister smile
formed on his lips. “Ooh, the cat has claws.
That’s new and, might I add, doesn’t suit
you. I much prefer you docile.”
 Pushing his words about how meek I’d been
in the past to the back of my mind, I pressed,
“How did you get past the security gates,
Leo?”
“That was easy. Need I remind you who
purchased this house?” The smug look on his
face was one I knew all too well. Leo was
arrogant to a fault.
Liam came closer to stand beside me. “That
would be me.”
Leo’s face darkened. “That’s right. Little
brother, always trying to be the better man.
Not the more important one, but a valiant
effort, nonetheless. Regardless, when your
last name is on the deed to the house, it’s
quite easy to make it past the front gates.”
Liam’s hands formed fists at his side, but he
remained rooted to the spot. “I’ll ask again,
brother. What are you doing here?”
“That should be obvious, I would think.”
Leo inspected his fingernails as if bored with
the conversation. “I’m here to see my
children, my heirs. Where are they?”
Liam continued to fight the fight for me,
even though we weren’t on speaking terms,
answering, “Not here. Ever heard of a little
thing called school? It’s barely noon on a
Friday.”
Undeterred, Leo countered, “That’s fine. I’ll
wait.”
“Not here, you won’t.” Liam took a
threatening step forward.
Taking a calming breath, I intervened, “Leo,
I think the best thing would be for you to
come back tomorrow. They are usually
cranky after school and won’t be in the best
mood for you to interact with them. You’d
want them compliant, wouldn’t you?”
He took the bait, nodding. “You know what,
that would be ideal. I hope they haven’t
become ungrateful brats like their mother.”
 Liam took one more step forward, growling,
“Out. Now.”
Leo smirked. “I’ll go, but I’ll be back bright
and early tomorrow. Make sure they’re ready
for me.” Turning on his heel, he left as
suddenly as he’d appeared, but my world had
shifted on its axis.
Collapsing onto the couch, I barely breathed
out, “Oh my God.”
Liam sat beside me, vowing, “I won’t let
him hurt them.”
Shoving him in the shoulder hard, my fear
turned to anger. “Now, you want to help me?
You’ve been so worried about protecting me
from Jaxon that you forgot all about the
monster lurking in the shadows. Do you feel
better now? Because I sure as hell don’t.”
Pulling me into a tight hug, I struggled
against him for a second but gave up the fight
when he whispered, “I’m sorry. You’re right.
I made a mistake.”
 Liam loosened the hug, and I pulled back,
accusing, “You made a big mistake.”
His blue eyes were filled with regret.
“Forgive me? I was only trying to do right by
you, even if it was slightly misguided in
hindsight.”
“You actually think you can protect them
from him?” My body shook, fear gripping
my heart thinking about what Leo would do
if he got his hands on my kids.
“Nat, just remember that legally he can’t
take them. We made sure of that. Tomorrow,
we will make sure everyone stays here. It’s
safest if they stay under this roof, with
supervision. You and I both know that I could
take him if it came down to a physical
threat.”
If there was one thing I knew about Leo, it
was that he didn’t fight fair. If he wanted my
children, he would take them. In his mind, he
was above the law and would have no
qualms about sending his own brother to jail
for assault if challenged physically. Nothing
would stand in his way.
My mind was racing. “Why now? He’s
wanted nothing to do with them for years.”
Liam sighed. “Why does he do anything?
My guess is that he wants to remind you he’s
always there. He gets off on fear.”
My lip trembled as I found myself on the
verge of tears. “What am I going to tell the
kids? Amelia doesn’t trust him, and Beau
doesn’t know him. Jameson . . . Oh God,
Jameson will be the most confused. I know
you haven’t been around to see it, but we’ve
fallen into a good groove. They’re happy and
well-adjusted, and it’s all because of Jaxon.
He’s helped us become more of a family than
we’ve been in years. No offense.”
Liam shrugged. “As much as I’ve tried to
step in as their father, they know I never can
be. Someday, I knew you’d move on. I just
never expected it to be so quickly.”
“You and me both,” I said under my breath.
“It’s my problem to deal with. I can’t let it
tear apart our relationship anymore.” He
pulled me into another hug, and I sank into
his embrace.
“So, you’re done being a jerk?” I
challenged.
His heavy exhale could be felt where my
head rested against his chest. “I’m not ready
to jump on the Team Jaxon bandwagon, but I
will always be on Team Natalie. Always.”
A small smile crept onto my lips. It was
good to have my big brother back. “I guess
I’ll take what I can get. Now, what are we
going to do about Leo tomorrow?”
Liam didn’t hesitate. “First things first. I
will call the front gate and ensure they know
he’s only a visitor. No more sneak attacks.
We will have a warning next time.”
 Nodding, I felt my body reverting to that
familiar state of numbness, trying to protect
myself. If I couldn’t feel, he couldn’t hurt
me. “Whatever you think is best.”
“No.” His voice held a tone of authority.
Snapping back to my senses, I looked up at
him. “No?”
“No,” he repeated. “You’re not going to shut
down on me. You’re going to fight. We are
going to fight. Do you understand me?”
He was right. The same old Natalie that Leo
knew was not going to get the job done.
Mentally manning our battle stations, we
created our plan of attack—what to tell the
kids, how to deal with Leo, and
contingencies in case things went south.

Leo returned early on Saturday morning.

We’d prepped the kids the best we could for
his arrival, but I wasn’t sure it would ever be
enough. Liam and Amy chaperoned the visit
in the living room because I couldn’t bear to
do it. If I was going to stay strong, I needed
to keep a clear head. That was impossible
when I was near Leo for too long. He’d spent
years honing his skills in breaking me down.
It was his favorite pastime.
Sitting on a stool in the kitchen, I listened
intently for any signs of trouble or distress
from the kids. Time seemed to slow down as
I sat there, praying the whole time that he
would leave and never return. Tense and
frozen in place, my back and legs began to
ache, needing to stretch and move.
Easing off the stool, I bumped into a solid
body. In my state of hyperawareness, my
body’s startle reflex activated, and I jumped
back screaming. Heart beating so hard that I
thought it would burst right out of my chest, I
barely heard the surprised voice from behind.
“Whoa, Nat. It’s just me. Didn’t you hear me
come in?”
My mind recognized it was Jaxon, but my
body was flooded with adrenaline from the
surprise, not knowing he was there. Placing
my head down on the cool marble of the
island, I leaned over, breathing deeply,
fixated on the effort to calm myself.
Feeling him touch my back again, I flinched
involuntarily, causing him to withdraw like
he’d been burned. I felt guilty when I heard
the hurt in his tone. “Baby, you’re scaring
me.”
After a few more deep breaths, I managed to
straighten. Jaxon’s eyes were wide, scanning
my body, searching for signs of physical
damage, but I knew he wouldn’t find any. It
was all emotional.
Reaching out to take his hand in
reassurance, I explained, “I’m sorry, I didn’t
hear you come in, and you scared the hell out
of me. I thought you were heading out of
town today.”
Concern was still etched on his handsome
face. “Natalie, we talked about this. The plan
was to come over after practice before I had
to head out to check on you.” He cupped my
belly with both hands. “To check on Charlie.
Are you sure everything is all right? You’re
acting strange.”
Vaguely, I remembered a conversation about
him stopping by before his trip, but Leo’s
reemergence eclipsed everything. As if on
cue, I heard Amelia yelling at the top of her
lungs, “That’s not my name!”
Cringing, I closed my eyes for a split second
before Jameson screamed, “Leave my sister
alone!”
Involuntarily, my hand went to the
countertop, gripping tightly, needing
something to ground myself before opening
my eyes. Before I knew what was happening,
Jaxon had bolted toward my audibly agitated
children.
Hurrying after him, I called out after him in
a panic, “Jaxon, don’t!”
Ignoring my plea, he didn’t stop until he’d
reached the scene playing out before us. Leo
was in Amelia’s face, trying to cajole her, as
Jameson tried in vain to pull him away.
“Don’t you want a nice L nickname like the
rest of your family? Lia is such a pretty
name.”
Skidding to a halt beside Jaxon, that’s when
I realized Leo’s hands were on Amelia as she
twisted away from her father, screaming in
his face, “No!”
Something ugly flashed in Leo’s eyes. It
wasn’t often that someone dared to defy him,
and I feared for my daughter.
Jaxon’s tone was calm, but there was a steel
edge to it—I could tell he was wound tight.
“Amelia, honey. Are you okay?”
 Relief flooded my daughter’s face, and she
rushed to Jaxon, throwing her arms around
him, trusting him to protect her. Jameson ran
to me, and I held him close. Beau was crying
in Liam’s arms, but when he saw us, he tried
to leap from his uncle’s arms to get to us.
Liam set him down to avoid dropping him in
his struggle, and he ran to me as I scooped
him up in my arms.
Looking at the father he didn’t know, Beau
pointed, accusing, “He’s a bad man.”
Out of the mouths of babes.
Leo sneered at us, at how we stood together,
united like the family we had become over
the past few months. “Isn’t this sweet? A
picture-perfect little family.” Before I could
blink, he’d pulled out his cell and snapped a
picture of us huddled together.
“Guess I shouldn’t be surprised.” He
gestured to Beau in my arms, addressing
Jaxon, “Is he yours, too?”
 Liam warned, “Leopold . . .”
Leo mocked him, “William . . .”
They were using full names, underscoring
the threats just below the surface. Leo turned
back to me, dismissing his brother. “The
timeline adds up perfectly with those fall
hockey parties you insisted on coming home
for. His coloring is spot on, too.”
To avoid scaring the children, Jaxon kept his
tone even. “I should be so lucky. Beau is an
incredible little boy, but you’d know that if
you’d spent any time with him.”
That seemed to spur Leo on. “Maybe I
should remind you that, without a doubt, that
is my daughter clinging to your leg.”
“She may be biologically yours, but you’re
no father,” Jaxon spat back.
My body began to shake in response to the
stress and tension it had been under for the
past twenty-four hours. It wouldn’t be long
before my legs gave out. Knowing my body’s
limits, I recognized its need to sit down but
couldn’t afford to show any signs of
weakness in front of Leo.
Leaning slightly toward him, I whispered to
Jaxon, “Take Beau.”
Without a word, Jaxon reached over, pulling
Beau into his arms. Beau buried his tiny face
into Jaxon’s neck.
Jameson could feel my shaking, and he
looked up. “Mama?” I couldn’t remember the
last time he’d called me that instead of Mom,
which spoke to how scared he was.
Trying desperately to hide it, my voice
shook with the same fear. “Leo, I think it’s
time for you to leave. You came to spend
time with the children, but as you can see,
they’re not interested.”
Leo narrowed his eyes. “You think I’m
going to leave them here with you so you can
keep poisoning them against me? They’re my
GODDAMN KIDS!” It never ceased to
amaze me how he could go from calm to
furious in a split second.
Mentally cursing myself for flinching, I
tried again. “Legally, I have full custody. Do
I need to call the cops?”
That wicked smile curled on his lips—the
one that signaled something truly sinister was
about to happen. Leo reached into his pocket,
waving his phone. “I’ll leave, but remember,
this isn’t over. A little push of a button and
this picture goes to the press, and you’ll be
ruined in the court of public opinion. No
judge would allow you to keep them after
that. Would serve you right for not being able
to keep your legs closed.”
Liam stepped forward with murder in his
eyes, and just when I thought he might hit
Leo, he grabbed the phone from his hand,
smashing it on the ground. “Leave. Now.”
Backing away from his brother, he put his
hands up. “Fine. I’ll leave.” Heading for the
door, he paused a step before passing me.
“Don’t think this is over, Natalie. I’ll be back
for what’s mine.”
Standing stock still, I tried to keep all
emotion from my face—anything that would
feed into him. He continued past, and I
looked at my children, huddled against Jaxon
and me. Amelia had silent tears streaming
down her face, and Jameson’s vise-like grip
on my leg grew painful.
I’d grown accustomed to Leo terrorizing
me, but it was unacceptable for my children
to live in fear, with the looming threat of
their father coming back to take them away
from everything they knew, including me.
Leo’s footsteps were loud on the hardwood
floors as he headed toward the door, with
Liam shadowing him to make sure he left.
The sound of the door slamming echoed
throughout the house. Knowing he was gone,
my body finally gave out, and I descended
into darkness.

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 Chapter 20

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 Jaxon

THE BANG OF THE door slamming shut

sent my world into chaos.
Beau was still held in my left arm when
Natalie began to sway to my right. In the
blink of an eye, her body slumped, and I
stuck my arm out quickly to loop under her
armpit, managing to pull her limp form
toward my body.
 That was a close call. Too close.
My quick actions barely prevented her from
hitting the floor. I sent up a silent prayer of
thanks to the game of hockey for my
lightning-quick reflexes and impeccable
hand-eye coordination honed over the years
during my intensive training.
Having been so focused on catching Natalie,
I’d been deaf to the kids’ panic and
screaming around me until I had her safely in
my arms. Suddenly, their cries reached me,
with Beau’s being the loudest and most
insistent, right next to my ear.
Jameson’s eyes were filled with tears as he
tugged at his mother’s limp arm. “Mom,
wake up!”
Amelia implored me, “Help her, Jaxon!”
Struggling to hold both Beau and Natalie, I
looked over my shoulder, calling for help,
“Liam!”
 Within seconds, Beau was lifted out of my
grasp, and I was finally able to get both arms
around Natalie’s body. Lowering her to the
ground, I cradled her head in my lap.
Smoothing the dark hair away from her face,
I begged, “Baby, please wake up.”
Amy knelt beside me, and that’s when I
realized she’d been the one to take Beau
from me as I saw him clinging to her neck.
She touched my arm. “She’ll be okay. Just
stay calm.”
Looking at her like she’d lost her mind, I
retorted, “Stay calm? I just watched the
woman I love get terrorized in her own damn
home, and now she’s unconscious! We need
to call 911.”
From behind, I heard Liam’s voice saying,
“Absolutely not. That’s out of the question.”
Turning my head, I narrowed my eyes at
him as he stood there with arms crossed over
his massive chest. “You’re kidding, right?”
 Liam held firm. “Nat tends to do this. Her
body can’t handle extreme amounts of stress
and shuts down. She’ll be fine. Let’s get her
upstairs.”
“She’ll be fine,” I repeated the words.
“She’s pregnant, for God’s sake, Liam! She
needs to get checked out!”
“Get her upstairs, and I’ll make a call. She’d
never forgive us if we called for an
ambulance.”
My anger was simmering right beneath the
surface. Leo had gotten it started, but his
brother was the one who had it threatening to
boil over.
“You talked a big game about being enough
to protect her,” I accused. “Looks like you’re
knocking that out of the park.” I couldn’t
keep the sarcasm from my tone.
A muscle in his jaw twitched as he stared
me down with those intense blue eyes.
“Don’t you have a plane to catch?”
 Shit.
I’d completely forgotten in the commotion
that I’d only stopped by to say goodbye
before the Comets headed west for a week.
Never in my life had I felt this torn between
my career and my personal life. Rationally, I
knew I had an obligation and needed to go,
but looking at the woman I held in my arms
and her upset children, my heart begged me
to stay.
Amelia’s voice cut through the fog. “Jaxon,
you’re not leaving, are you?”
Looking over at her chocolate brown eyes
that matched her mother’s closed ones, the
decision became crystal clear. “No,
sweetheart. I’m not leaving.”
The relief that filled her face centered me. I
was exactly where I needed to be right now.
Natalie stirred in my arms, reminding me that
we needed to move her. Scooping her up, I
headed toward the back stairs that would take
me straight to her bedroom, whispering, “It’s
all right. I’ve got you.”
Reaching her bedroom, I laid her down and
tucked her in. Placing a soft kiss on her
forehead, I walked to the hallway to make the
calls necessary to be able to stay. Closing the
door but not latching it in case Natalie
needed me, I met a waiting Amy in the hall.
Sighing, I ran a hand through my hair.
“Amy, talk to me. What the hell happened?
How did he get in here?”
Amy looked at me with empathy shining in
her green eyes. “He showed up yesterday and
got past the gates using the last name on the
deed to the house.”
Yesterday.
Natalie hadn’t trusted me enough to let me
know he was back.
Pushing down the hurt, I asked Amy, “And
you let him come back?”
 “Nobody lets Leo do anything.“ She
scoffed.
“Entitled asshole,” I muttered under my
breath.
“Sums it up.”
“I’ve got to make a call, tie up some loose
ends. Can you keep an eye on her?” I knew I
could trust Amy to look after Natalie in the
same way I would.
“Of course.” She nodded. “Liam called in a
favor, and we’ve got a doctor coming over to
check her out.
“Good,” I ran a shaky hand over my face.
The tightness in my chest loosened a
fraction, but I wouldn’t be able to breathe
easy until both Natalie and Charlie checked
out all right. So help me God, if that man did
something to harm either one of them. . .
I’d wanted to take Leo out the minute I saw
his hands on Amelia, but I knew that wasn’t
what any of them needed. They’d been
through enough, and beating the shit out of
their father in front of them would only make
them afraid of me instead of him.
Walking down the main upstairs hallway, I
paused at the top of the massive curved foyer
staircase, taking a seat on the top step.
Pulling my phone out of my back pocket, I
cringed when I saw all the missed messages
and phone calls from not only my coaches
but half of my teammates, wondering where I
was.
There was only one person I knew I could
call. Scrolling through my phone, I reached
Coach’s name and hit dial. One ring in,
Coach’s voice filled the speaker. “You’d
better be calling to tell me you’re pulling up
to the airport, Jaxon. The plane leaves in
fifteen minutes.”
Closing my eyes, I forced myself to say the
words, “I’m not going to make it, Coach.”
 “Why the hell not?” his voice boomed
through the phone.
“Leo showed up.”
His sharp intake of air was audible. “Shit.”
“Yeah.” I sighed.
“Everyone all right?” Concern colored
Coach’s words.
I swallowed past the lump in my throat.
“The kids are rattled. Natalie passed out, and
she’s still unconscious.”
“Fuck,” he breathed out.
Rubbing my free hand down my face, I said,
“I have to stay tonight. I can catch a plane
out first thing tomorrow and still make it in
time for pre-game practice.”
“Of course. Call Amber if you need
anything, and I mean anything. Do you hear
me?”
“Yes, sir,” I replied.
“Take care of our girl.”
 “Not as easy as it sounds.” I blew out a
heavy breath.
“I know, son. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Hanging up, I finally took a moment to let
the events of the afternoon wash over me.
Everything had happened so quickly that I
hadn’t had time to process it. Leo was back,
threatening Natalie over custody of the kids,
and she was so stressed out that her body
could barely handle it.
My gut reaction was to try and fix
everything, but I was learning there was so
much about this situation that was beyond
my control. I hated this feeling.
Behind me, Amy’s voice called out,
“Jaxon?”
Wound so tight, I jumped at the sound of her
voice. Taking a calming breath, I stood,
facing her. “Is she all right?”
“She’s awake and asking for you.”
 Hurrying down the hallway, I slowed my
steps before reaching the bedroom door,
pushing it open gently to the view of Natalie
on her side in bed, awake.
Thank God.
Striding to the side of the bed, I sat on the
edge, rubbing a soothing hand up and down
her arm. “Hey, baby. How are you feeling?”
Her weak attempt at a smile nearly broke
my heart. “A little woozy, but I’ll be fine.”
“Just rest. Liam called a doctor to check on
you and Charlie.”
Reaching up, she gently tugged on the tie I
still wore, having been dressed in my suit,
minus the jacket, ready to head straight to the
airport when I’d stopped by this afternoon.
“You have to go. The team is counting on
you.”
I shook my head. “I already called Coach.
I’m not going tonight. I’ll charter a plane for
the morning.”
 Natalie sighed. “You have to go. People will
be wondering where you are.”
I felt my temper flare. “I don’t give a damn
what anyone else thinks.”
“Hockey is your life,” she tried again.
“Hockey is my job, Natalie. There’s a big
difference. Hockey is temporary. What we
have right here is more important. It always
will be.”
Her eyes were bright and shiny, and I
watched as tears welled up, threatening to
fall. I knew she had major trust issues, so I
had no problem reaffirming time and time
again just how much she meant to me.
Nothing was more important. Nothing ever
would be.
Blinking a few more times, her voice was
thick when she asked, “How are the kids?”
I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.
“They’re scared. Worried about you more
than anything else.”
 ”I hate him.”
The vise grip inside my chest tightened
again, and I nodded. “I know, baby. I do too.”
“He’s going to try to take the kids,” she
whispered, voice trembling.
“Listen to me, Natalie.” I waited until her
eyes met mine before continuing, “The only
way he’s getting the kids out of this house is
over my dead body. I mean that literally—I
will die fighting before I let anyone take the
kids.”
A corner of her lips quirked up. “I think you
could take him.”
She was joking. That was a good sign, so I
teased back, “You think?”
A light laugh fell from her lips. “All right,
all right. I know you could take him.”
“That’s my girl.” I bent down to place a kiss
on her forehead.
There was a knock on the door, and I turned
to find Liam standing there.
 My free hand clenched into a fist. I was
furious that he’d let his brother come in here
and do this to Natalie, to the kids. He’d been
so confident months ago, going on and on
about how he could protect her, that she
didn’t need me. How had he sat idly by while
Leo had gotten close enough to put his hands
on Amelia?
“What do you want?” My tone was lethal. I
didn’t care what he thought of me anymore.
Challenging me right back, he snapped,
“You wanted a doctor, didn’t you?”
I growled, “We wouldn’t need one if you
hadn’t let him into this house.”
Natalie’s hand reached up to my neck,
rubbing up and down in an effort to soothe
my temper. “It’s okay, Jaxon. He’s trying to
help.”
Frowning, I kept my glare on Liam. “Yeah,
he’s helpful, all right.”
 Liam pushed the door wider, revealing a
middle-aged man with salt-and-pepper hair.
The man entered the room, carrying a large
black bag, holding his hand out to me. “I’m
Dr. Collier.”
Nodding, I shook his hand. “Jaxon.”
Releasing my hand, he moved to the head of
the bed. “And you must be Natalie.”
“Nice to meet you.” Natalie’s smile was
stronger than it had been only a few minutes
ago. That was promising.
I stood to allow Dr. Collier easier access to
Natalie while I rounded the bottom of the
bed, coming to the other side and sitting
against the headboard, taking her hand in
mine.
Setting his black bag down on her
nightstand, he addressed Natalie once more.
“I heard you had a little fainting spell earlier.
How are you feeling now?”
 Natalie rolled onto her back, scooching to
sit up against the pillows piled along the
headboard. “Better. I was woozy a little bit
ago, but it’s easing.”
“That’s good. Do I have your permission to
examine you?”
She nodded in response. “Yes, that’s fine.”
“Wonderful.” He pulled out a blood pressure
cuff and a stethoscope from his black bag.
“How many weeks along are you?”
“30 weeks,” she replied.
“No other complications during the
pregnancy?”
“No.” She shook her head as he wrapped the
cuff around her arm, pumping the bulb and
listening to her pulse.
Letting the bulb deflate, he noted, “A little
high, but nothing too worrisome. Now, I’ll
check on the little one.”
Pulling out a handheld doppler similar to the
one I’d seen used during the numerous
doctor’s appointments I’d accompanied
Natalie to in the past few months, he had her
lift her shirt. Protectively, I reached out with
my free hand to touch her bare belly and was
rewarded with a little push back from our
daughter.
Natalie squeezed my hand and smiled.
“See? She’s just fine.”
Dr. Collier squirted a little gel on her
exposed skin, then turned on the doppler,
reaching it out to press on her belly. Charlie’s
heartbeat filled the room, and I breathed out a
sigh of relief. What if I hadn’t been here
today? What if we’d left for the road trip
yesterday? What would have happened to my
family? Someone must have been looking
out for us today that I was standing right next
to Natalie when she collapsed.
“Sounds good to me.” Dr. Collier removed
the doppler from Natalie’s belly and wiped
the gel away with a towel. “I’ll put a call in
to your OB this evening and recommend a
non-stress test to be on the safe side. Make
sure to take it easy for the rest of the day.”
“Done. Thank you, Doctor,” I replied,
reaching across the bed to shake his hand one
more time in gratitude before he left. Sagging
against the headboard in relief that Natalie
and Charlie were all right after the day’s
events, I closed my eyes, exhaling deeply.
“Hey, we’re okay.” Natalie’s words had me
taking another deep breath before I forced
myself to look at her.
“What if you weren’t?” I cupped her cheek.
“But we are.”
Leaning over to brush a light kiss on her
lips, I whispered, “I love you. Do you know
that?”
Feeling her smile against my lips, she
whispered back, “I know.”
“Good. Now, you listen to the doctor and
rest tonight. I will take care of everything
else. I don’t want you stressed out about
anything else. Understood?”
Giving me a mock salute as I pulled back,
she smiled. “Yes, sir.”
“That’s my good girl.”
Making my way downstairs, I made a
mental checklist of what I needed to do to
protect my family while I was gone.
Apparently, living in a gated community
wasn’t enough anymore. Hiring permanent
security was the only answer, but Natalie
would kill me if she knew, so they’d need to
be inconspicuous.
First, I needed to check on the kids and
ensure they knew they were safe. Rounding
the bottom of the back staircase into the
living room, I found Amelia sitting with
Amy. She looked up at me with those big
brown eyes. “Is my mom okay?”
Sitting on the other side of her, I pulled her
into a hug, stroking her hair. “She’s fine.
After dinner, I’m sure she’d love to have you
sit with her for a while. Maybe read her a
story? You think you can do that?”
Pulling back, she nodded. “I know just the
book.”
“I knew you would.” I smiled at the girl I’d
grown to love as my own.
Jameson timidly entered the room, asking,
“Are you staying tonight, Jaxon?”
Patting the spot on the couch beside me, I
invited him to join us. “Do you think I
should, buddy?”
“I think Mom would like it.” He nodded
thoughtfully.
“Just Mom?” I questioned.
“I’d like it, too,” he admitted, lowering his
eyes.
Pulling him into a side hug, I confirmed,
“I’m not going anywhere, buddy. If you need
me, I’m here. Always.”
 Jameson sniffled. “That’s good. Thanks,
Jaxon.”
Needing to do something to take their mind
off the terrible afternoon they’d had, I asked,
“What do we think about pizza for dinner?
Maybe an impromptu game night with Aunt
Amy? I bet if we called her, Aunt Hannah
would love to come too.”
Jameson’s voice brightened. “I love pizza!”
Chuckling, I tousled his short blond curls. “I
had a feeling. Can I tell you a secret?”
He looked up at me with a genuine smile,
nodding enthusiastically. “Yes! I’m the best
at keeping secrets!”
Leaning in close, I cupped a hand next to his
ear, making a show of whispering a big
secret, before uttering in a low voice, “I love
pizza, too.”
Jameson pulled back, accusing, “That’s not
a secret!”
 “Of course it is!” I protested. “If Coach
knew I was having pizza the night before a
game, I’d be in big trouble. So, promise me
that you won’t tell.”
He made a motion of zipping his lips and
throwing away a key, causing me to laugh,
feeling lighter than I had all day. This was
what I needed in my life. Never once had I
mourned the loss of my bachelor life, and it
was easy to see why. My world had narrowed
to focus on the people living in this house,
and they were more than enough to fulfill
me. When I had bad days, this was where I
wanted to be. A smile from Natalie or one of
her kids was enough to snap me out of any
bad mood or shake off any loss.
The rest of the evening was spent diverting
the kids’ focus. Hannah came over with
fixings to make ice cream sundaes after our
pizza dinner. We broke out the board games
at the kitchen table once it had been cleared
and spent hours playing games, laughing, and
teasing each other. After a few games,
Amelia excused herself to read with her
mom.
Eventually, Beau curled up in my lap, and I
felt his breathing slow, his body slacken. The
weight of his tiny body against mine had the
same effect as a weighted blanket—it was
pure comfort. His soft snores were music to
my ears.
When Jameson began to yawn, we ended
the game night and got ready for bed.
Amy walked over to my chair, arms ready to
take Beau, but I wasn’t prepared to let him
go. As far as he knew, a stranger had walked
into his house that day, causing his mom and
siblings to be upset. I wanted to make sure he
knew that I would always protect them. I
tightened my hold on his tiny body.
Amy reached out again. “Jaxon, he’s safe.
They all are.”
 That was finally enough to convince me to
relinquish my hold on him. I shivered at the
loss of his warm body against mine.
Immediately, I regretted handing him over,
but thankfully, Jameson distracted me,
asking, “Will you take me to bed, Jaxon?”
There weren’t words to express how
incredible it felt that this family didn’t
always need me, but they seemed to always
want me. They had a choice, and they chose
me. The feeling was mutual, and I hoped that
my actions today had shown Natalie the level
of my commitment.
Standing, I reached out to Jameson. “Let’s
go, buddy.”
Walking upstairs, we picked out pajamas
and got his teeth brushed. Jameson’s room
was decorated to reflect his older age. While
Beau’s walls were covered in trains,
Jameson’s had a baseball theme. I knew he
played the sport, but I was determined to
bring him over to the dark side and hoped
that someday, he’d ask me to help him
change this theme to a hockey one.
Tucking him into bed, I sat on the edge.
“Goodnight, buddy. I’ll be gone in the
morning, but I’m here tonight if you need me
for anything at all.”
Looking up at me, his eyes drooping, he
smiled as sleep began to pull at him. “I wish
you were my dad, Jaxon.”
The words tugged at my heartstrings, and I
fought the urge not to get emotional in front
of this little boy who’d already been through
so much—not only today, but during the
entirety of his short life.
Swallowing, I leaned down to hug him,
whispering, “Me too, buddy.”
As if his earlier statement wasn’t enough, he
whispered back, “I love you.”
Pulling back, I cleared my throat, trying to
dislodge the lump formed there, as I
responded, “I love you too, buddy. I’ll see
you when I get back in a week. Make sure
you help take care of your mom, okay?”
Jameson nodded, and I watched as his eyes
slowly drifted closed.
Standing, I crossed the room, latching the
door silently behind me. Walking down the
hallway, I checked on Beau, who was still
sound asleep, albeit now in his own bed,
before heading toward Natalie’s bedroom.
The door was cracked open, so I pushed it
open slowly in case she was asleep.
Natalie still sat up in bed, reading her own
book, as Amelia was laid out beside her,
asleep, with an open book across her chest.
The room gave off an air of softness, just like
its owner—it was soothing. A sage accent
wall behind the quilted cream headboard of
the bed was the perfect complement to the
color scheme of pink and beige. It was
feminine; it was all Natalie.
 Natalie smiled when she saw me standing in
the doorway, observing her. “Hey.”
Smiling, I crossed the room to sit on the
edge of the bed. “Hey, yourself. How are you
feeling?”
“All better,” she replied, her tone light as if
we hadn’t just been through the day from
Hell.
“Good, the boys are both in bed.”
Natalie nodded in the direction of Amelia
passed out beside her. “You think you have it
in you for one more?”
“Nah,” I smirked. When she looked at me
confused, I offered, “She can stay here with
you. I’ll make up the guest room for myself.”
“You don’t have to do that,” she protested.
Patting her leg, I agreed, “I know I don’t
have to, but I’m happy to do it. Amelia needs
you tonight, and I don’t want her to wake up
alone. Today was enough to give me
nightmares. I can’t even imagine what it’s
done to her.”
She chewed on her bottom lip. “I’m sorry
you had to see that today.”
I gaped at her. “Are you kidding? I have
spent all day thanking God I was here today.”
A shudder ran through my body. “I can’t stop
thinking about what would have happened to
you or any of the kids if I hadn’t been.”
Natalie reached out and grabbed my hand.
“You’re a good man, Jaxon.”
What she didn’t realize was that I viewed
this as my family, my responsibility. The
thought of any one of them hurt or scared
was like a knife to my heart. An incident like
the one that occurred today could never
happen again. My entire future was in this
house, even if most of them didn’t know it
yet.
Leaning over, I quickly kissed Natalie’s lips.
“I’ll be gone before you wake in the
morning, but I’ll make sure to call you when
I land. Take it easy this week, and don’t think
for one minute that Amy won’t tell me if you
don’t.”
Natalie lifted her eyes skyward but smiled.
“Traitor.”
“I prefer the term ally,” I corrected her.
“Whatever you say.”
“Well, I say get some rest. I’ll see you in a
week.”
“Yes, Dad,” she teased.
Another quick kiss to her forehead, and I
stood, heading out of her room. I knew I
wouldn’t rest easy the entire time I was out
west. God help anyone who got in my way
until I got back home.

Sweat ran into my eyes. My heartbeat

thundered in my ears, but I felt no pain as my
fists continued to connect with the face of
Trey Carr of the Denver Glaciers. It was
almost as if I was having an out-of-body
experience, watching as I lost all control,
taking out all the aggression I felt toward Leo
on my opponent. I tasted blood but couldn’t
feel any of Trey’s blows from his
counterattack. My body was numb to
everything except the rage that had been
simmering over the past twenty-four hours.
I’d been wound tight going into the game,
so it hadn’t taken much to set me off. A hard
hit into the boards was all it took, and Trey
had been the unfortunate one who’d laid the
hit. Forgetting the game on the ice, I’d
charged at him, knocking his helmet off in a
single blow to the head.
Fighting had always been a part of the
game, but I normally kept my nose clean. I
was more level-headed than most of my
teammates. Sure, I would always jump to the
defense of my goalie but never was one to
instigate. That was until Leo had walked in
and scared the hell out of my woman.
As I knocked Trey to the ground, I felt arms
pulling me off him, but I struggled against
them, even knowing that was when the fight
had to end. The referees trying to restrain me
warned that if I didn’t settle down and make
my way to the box to serve my five minutes
for the fighting penalty, they’d assess me
with a ten-minute major on top of it. I told
them where they could shove their major, not
caring that it sealed my fate.
Fifteen minutes in the box did nothing to
cool my temper. I kept seeing the terrified
faces of my family and was filled with the
overwhelming urge to tear someone’s head
off. The first whistle after my penalty had
expired, I was allowed out of the box during
the stoppage, and Coach screamed my name,
calling me to the bench.
 Skating to a hard stop at the bench, I looked
up at my mentor. His face was hard-set as he
glared at me. “I know you have some shit
you need to work out, but not out here. Get
your ass to the locker room. You’re done for
the night.”
Knowing better than to argue with Coach—
even if I was looking to pick a fight tonight
—I accepted his command. Opening the
bench door, I headed down the tunnel to the
visiting team’s locker room, throwing open
the door and slamming down my stick and
helmet.
My heart was hammering against my
ribcage as sweat dripped from my hair and
down my neck. I needed to cool down in
more ways than one.
Untying and removing my skates, I didn’t
bother taking off any of my gear before
getting into a freezing cold shower. I’d
apologize to the equipment crew later for the
soaking-wet gear they had to pack to fly to
San Francisco tonight before our next game.
Unsure of how long I spent under the cold
water, I made my way back to the locker
room, shucking my wet gear and toweling off
before dressing in my suit. A few dots of
crimson dripped on my gray suit pants, and I
cursed, my temper flaring again. “Fuck.”
Grabbing a smaller towel, I held it to my
face, unsure exactly where the blood was
coming from and not really caring. As the
team came in for the second intermission, I
allowed the medical staff to lead me into a
separate room to assess my facial injury.
Three stitches to the bridge of my nose later,
I was released back into the locker room,
which the team had already vacated to play
the third period without me.
The only thing I knew that would center me
was Natalie’s voice, knowing she was safe.
But checking my watch, I found it was
already 10 PM in Denver, which meant it was
midnight back home. Not wanting to wake
her but needing something to soothe the rage
still coursing through my veins, I
shamelessly trolled the internet for old clips
of speeches she’d given during engagements
back when she was a working royal. Slowly,
my muscles loosened, and the red haze
around my vision cleared. This woman was
my focus, and I was determined to make sure
she always would be.
Hearing the heavy footsteps coming down
the hall of my teammates, I stuffed my phone
into my pocket. From the lighthearted nature
of the first ones to enter the locker room, I
surmised that we had won.
Eventually, everyone was in the room,
beginning to undress, as Coach addressed the
room. “Good effort out there tonight, boys,”
he began.
 “No thanks to someone.” I swung my head
around to look for who made that snarky
remark, clearly aimed at me. Of course, it
was Levi Nixon, our resident hotshot rookie.
I’d never liked his cocky attitude on the ice,
and I sure as hell didn’t like him throwing
shots my way in the locker room.
Standing, I challenged, “Why don’t you say
that to my face, rookie? Maybe I can
rearrange your face like I did Carr’s.”
Coach shouted, “Enough! Fighting is a part
of the game, but we leave it on the ice. In this
room, we are a team. You have a lot to learn,
Nixon.”
Grumbling, Levi backed down. No one
crossed Coach if you wanted to keep playing.
It was a silent rule, similar to the one about
his daughters being off-limits. I was smug,
remembering how well I’d followed that one,
but I couldn’t find it within myself to be
sorry.
 “As I was saying,” Coach began again. “We
did a good job of controlling the play and
taking advantage when we had opportunities.
Take a few minutes before I let the media in
for interviews, then it’s ninety minutes until
asses are in seats on the bus.”
Coach turned on his heel and left the locker
room with the rest of the coaches, likely
submitting to his interview first in the
hallway. I knew that after being kicked out of
the game by my coach, combined with the
fight and major penalty, I’d be a target
tonight for the pack of traveling reporters.
Cal, to my right, remarked, “You were in
rare form tonight.”
Digging my heels in, I responded, “Carr was
asking for it.”
He shook his head. “You were like a man
possessed. I was worried you were going to
kill him with your bare hands. Want to talk
about it?”
 “No.” I leveled a glare in his direction.
Throwing up his hands, he backed off.
“Fine, but if you need to blow off some
steam, I know a club in San Fran . . .”
I snapped at him, “Aren’t you tired of that
shit yet? Fucking anything with legs? Being
nothing more than a story they can tell their
friends?”
Cal kept his cool. “So, I’ll take that as a no.”
“Stop asking. I’m done with that life.”
“Noted.” He finally backed down.
Hopefully, I’d made my point.
The doors opened, and the media filed in,
picking and choosing which player to
interview for their specific news outlet back
in Hartford. I wasn’t in any mood to talk to
anyone right now but knew it would stir
more shit, and I’d be fined if I refused.
Putting my head down, I got through it with
simple answers, not wanting to explain why
I’d acted so out of character.
 The only place I wanted to be right now was
home.

OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 21

OceanofPDF.com
 Natalie

HEARING THE DOOR OPEN and close put

a smile on my face. Jaxon was home. Charlie
gave a little roll, indicating that she was just
as relieved that her daddy was home after a
week on the road.
Standing in the kitchen, I waited for him to
find me and was pleasantly surprised when
he came up from behind, leaning in low to
nuzzle the side of my neck.
Melting into him, I whispered, “I missed
you.”
Sighing behind me, his hands came around
the sides of my belly. “Not more than I
missed you.”
Arching into his touch, I loved the scratch
of the stubble he’d grown while on the road
against the sensitive skin of my neck.
Turning in his embrace, Jaxon used that
opportunity to get down on his knees, kissing
my belly before looking up. “How’s our
girl?”
Running my hands through his hair, I smiled
at the tenderness in his voice. “She checked
out just fine.”
Closing his eyes, he whispered, “Thank
God.” Standing, he scanned my face, noting,
“You look tired. Have you been having
trouble sleeping?”
 I shrugged it off. “It’s fine, just having
trouble getting comfortable these days with
Miss Charlie jumping around on my bladder.
I’m sure I’ll sleep better tonight, knowing
you’re home.”
“You and me both.” Changing topics, he
asked, “How are the kids? There wasn’t any
more trouble while I was gone?”
“No, just the opposite, actually.”
He tilted his head. “How so?”
I explained, “Liam called his parents, and
they doubled down in their support of me and
the kids. They’ll make sure that Leo doesn’t
even attempt to come back and take them
from me.”
“That’s great.” Relief flooded his face.
“My mother-in-law even called to check on
me, and I told her about Charlie. In fact, she
was so thrilled for me that she sent all those
boxes you probably tripped over in the
hallway. Knowing that I’d gotten rid of
everything after Beau, she sent all kinds of
baby gear, clothes, you name it.”
Jaxon frowned, repeating, “Mother-in-law.”
Unsure of what he was getting at, I stated,
“Well, I guess not legally anymore, but I owe
her my life, the kids’ lives.”
Making a conscious effort not to dwell too
much on my old life, I looked up at his
handsome face, reaching up to trace a soft
outline below the stitches along the bridge of
his nose. “At what point did this seem like a
bad idea?”
Jaxon smirked. “Who said it was a bad
idea? I’m not sorry.”
I rolled my eyes playfully. “Yeah, it sure
didn’t seem like you were, sitting in the box
for extra minutes and then having Ace throw
you out of the game.”
He grimaced. “You saw that?”
“Even if I hadn’t, it’s been all over the
news.”
 “The kids didn’t see, did they?” Panic filled
his voice.
“No,” I reassured him.
Jaxon blew out a breath. “Good. I just—”
I could tell he was struggling with what had
happened before he’d left as I’d watched him
beat the living shit out of Trey Carr on live
television. Cupping his face, I stood on my
tiptoes to kiss his lips, whispering, “It’s over.
I’m fine, Charlie’s fine, the kids are fine.”
One more kiss and I went all in, or at least as
far as I could allow myself. “I’m yours.”
Growling, he took my mouth as his hands
pulled my body flush with his. There was a
desperation to this kiss, unlike anything I’d
ever known—like if he didn’t consume me
right now, he might die. Groaning into his
mouth as his tongue swept inside mine, I
clung to him, my legs shaking like they
might give out if I didn’t use his body for
support.
 As he pulled back, I whimpered, wanting
more. His eyes were glazed over with lust,
but he took my hands in his, taking two steps
back before scanning me from head to toe.
“Goddamn, Natalie. What are you wearing?”
Sparing a glance down, I realized I was
sporting a black one-piece bodysuit that
hugged my body like a second skin. Feeling
beautiful just as I was, thanks to this man
who currently devoured me with his eyes, I
answered innocently, batting my eyelashes.
“Clothes?”
Shaking his head, I bit my lower lip when a
lock of dark hair fell across his forehead.
“No. Clothes leave something to the
imagination.” Coming close again, he leaned
down to whisper in my ear, “I can see
everything.”
My nipples hardened against the spandex
holding everything in place in response to his
words. Gently, Jaxon nipped my earlobe
before trailing his mouth down my neck,
licking the outline of the scoop neck on the
bodysuit, where my breasts rose as a result of
my ragged breathing. With hands on either
side of my body, he began trailing them up
my sides, beginning at my hips and moving
upward until his fingers grazed the edges of
my breasts, causing a shiver to run the length
of my body.
Standing at his full height, his stare was
intense enough that I already felt naked.
“Good thing you’re not leaving the house
right now because I’d have to fight every
man who dared to look at you wearing this.
This is only for me.” Tilting my face up with
a hand under my chin, he asked, “Do you
understand me, Natalie? You are mine.”
Mouth suddenly dry, words escaped me at
his possessive tone. I swallowed before
managing a nod.
 Looking around the kitchen, he asked, “Kids
at school?” I nodded. “Amy and Liam
home?” Shaking my head, I barely heard him
groan out, “Good. I don’t think I can wait. I
need you now.”
The breath froze in my lungs. Breathless, I
asked, “Now?”
“Now,” Jaxon confirmed. His eyes—dark
and dangerous—locked with mine seconds
before his mouth descended with a renewed
hunger. I was lost, drowning in this kiss, until
I felt his hand tweak my nipple. I tore my
mouth from his, gasping at the shock of
pleasure that shot through my body.
Hungrily, Jaxon gazed down at his hands on
my body, growling, “You’re wearing too
much.”
“I thought I wasn’t wearing enough,” I
taunted.
That earned me another nipple tweak,
causing me to squeal. “Jaxon!”
 Those whiskey eyes flared. “That’s right,
baby, scream my name. Remember who you
belong to.”
Slowly, he peeled the straps of the bodysuit
off my shoulders, pulling the top down
enough that my breasts could burst free,
spilling into his waiting hands.
Groaning, he palmed them, asking, “No
bra?” Shaking my head in response and
biting my lip, his eyes darkened. “Nothing
underneath?” When I didn’t answer, that
gave him all the confirmation he needed, and
he growled against my mouth, “Naughty
girl.”
Feeling wicked and looking to level the
playing field, I held his stare, reaching down,
gripping his rock-hard cock through his
joggers. Satisfaction coursed through me as
his eyes slid shut, and he hissed, “Fuck,
Natalie.”
 Taunting him with his own words, I smiled
as I squeezed his length in my hand.
“Remember who you belong to.”
Any illusion of turning the tables vanished
when his eyes snapped open, and I saw the
hunger he didn’t bother to hide. Mine
widened in response—knowing I’d just
unleashed him—as a shiver ran through my
body at the thought of him taking total
control.
My sweet, kind, caring Jaxon was about to
devour me, and I’d never wanted anything
more in my life.
“Now, you’ve done it,” he growled.
My brain processed the sensation of cool air
flowing over my body before it heard what
sounded like fabric ripping. Blinded by lust,
it took a second to realize what had
happened. Looking down at my naked body,
then back to the wolfish gleam in Jaxon’s
eyes, it finally dawned on me. He’d torn the
bodysuit right off my body.
Holy shit. That was hot.
Gripping his face in my hands, my voice
was breathy. “Where the hell has this Jaxon
been hiding?”
His voice grew husky. “Not hiding. Just
been waiting for you my whole damn life.”
Those were the last words I heard before his
mouth descended upon mine, my arms
looping around his neck. Ferocious was too
tame a word to describe how he ravaged my
mouth, his tongue claiming every inch. When
he reached between my legs, they threatened
to buckle—I was riding the edge of release
already.
Reaching down, Jaxon’s hands slid over my
ass around to the back of my thighs before
lifting me onto the kitchen island, the cool
marble a sharp contrast to my overheated
skin.
 Regardless of my height advantage in this
position, he continued to dominate my body.
Sucking one peaked and aching nipple into
his mouth, a hand moved along the inside my
thigh, teasing its way until it reached my
core. His fingers spread around my body’s
natural lubrication before focusing solely on
my throbbing clit. A few quick passes of his
thumb, combined with his relentless assault
on my breasts, and I could barely breathe.
“More,” I demanded.
Switching to attend to my other breast,
Jaxon shoved two fingers inside me as his
thumb rubbed tighter circles, increasing with
intensity and pressure. My back bowed,
holding his head to my breast as tremors
racked my body, desperately seeking release.
Curling his fingers inside me, he massaged
my G-spot, and my soul left my body. My
orgasm crested so suddenly that a scream
ripped from my throat, bouncing off the
kitchen walls. I clutched at Jaxon, needing an
anchor to ride out the storm he’d stirred
within my body.
I barely had time to recover from the earth-
shattering climax before Jaxon thrust into me
in one smooth motion. The sensation was so
overwhelming that I screamed out again, torn
between needing it to stop or wanting it to
last forever. My thighs trembled
uncontrollably, but my arms finally loosened
enough to pull back and look at the only man
to ever put me first.
Jaxon’s eyes were on me as he started to
pump into me, slowly at first, balancing me
on the edge of the countertop. Leaning back
so that I was lying across the island, propped
up on my elbows, I realized he was still fully
dressed as he claimed my body again and
again. Each slow thrust was a torturous graze
against my clit, overly sensitive and
throbbing from my earlier orgasm.
 Spying the tendons straining in his neck, I
knew he was holding back, and I couldn’t
take much more, so I egged him on, “Fuck
me, Jaxon.”
Stilling for a moment, Jaxon stared down at
me before he grinned, gripping my hips
tighter, and letting loose, just as I’d
demanded. His thrusts grew punishing, each
one harder than the one before. Watching him
was erotic, especially when he looked down
to where our bodies were joined, licking his
lips seconds before he began to grunt, trying
to hold off his orgasm, waiting for me to
come again.
Deciding to give him a much-needed assist,
I lowered my back flush with the kitchen
island. Reaching down, I barely grazed my
clit before jumping slightly, finding it almost
too sensitive.
I can do this. Or die of pleasure trying.
 Gritting my teeth against the intense
sensation, I delved back in, determined to
make quick work of aiding my second
orgasm because I wasn’t going to last much
longer like this. Barely hearing Jaxon groan
through my lust-hazed hearing, I rubbed
quick, tight circles over the slippery nub.
It was Jaxon’s words that threw me over as
he repeated over and over, “You’re mine.”
Pleasure shot through me again, this time
stealing my breath, bringing tears to my eyes
with its intensity. The edges of my vision
darkened—this climax so powerful that I
teetered on the line of consciousness. Jaxon’s
thrusts became erratic, pounding a few more
times before a guttural groan signaled his
release.
Air finally entered my lungs again as he
slowed his rhythm, coming down from his
own powerful orgasm.
 Jaxon squeezed my full hips. “Do you have
any idea what you do to me?”
My breathing was still erratic as I tried to
force my lungs to fill with air, but I smiled,
closing my eyes, teasing him by tensing my
inner walls against him. “I have some idea.”
His reaction did not disappoint—a groan
was ripped from his throat. “Nothing else
exists when I’m with you.”
My vision began to clear, and I stared up at
him. Nothing but love was shining in his
eyes, and I felt my heart squeeze.
He’d become the rock I’d always dreamed
having of growing up. I knew he’d be there if
I called him for anything. Hannah had tested
that theory months ago, but it still rang true
today. Hell, he’d beaten the living daylights
out of an innocent man on the ice just
thinking about Leo causing us any harm. He
was selfless above all, giving himself freely,
asking for nothing in return. Most
importantly, he’d become the father my
children had always deserved.
Unable to deny it any longer, I dared to utter
those most sacred words out loud,
whispering, “I love you.”
Sitting up in his arms, both of us groaned as
he slipped out of me, and he whispered,
“Fuck.”
Biting my lip, I teased, “We already did
that.”
Shaking his head as if to clear it, Jaxon tried
again to form a coherent thought. “I’m sorry,
I think I’m imagining things. What did you
just say?”
“We already did that?” I knew what he
wanted to hear, but I enjoyed playing with
him.
The last time I’d said those words to a man,
they hadn’t been returned. This time around,
he’d said them first, and I knew from both
his words and his actions that Jaxon had
meant them every single time. We fit
together, body and mind. He brought a sense
of peace and comfort to my life that I’d never
known before.
“No, smartass,” he teased while giving a
playful swat to my behind. “Before that.”
“Fuck me, Jaxon?” I batted my eyelashes.
Groaning in frustration, he tried again.
“After that.”
“I love you?”
His eyes flared. “That.”
Reaching up into his hair, I pulled his mouth
to mine, emphasizing each word between
kisses. “I. Love. You. Jaxon.”

OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 22

OceanofPDF.com
 Jaxon

SHE LOVES ME.

I thought touching, hell, even just seeing
Natalie would be the best part of my day. I’d
been so very wrong, but in the best possible
way. The woman I’d loved my entire adult
life—if I was being completely honest—and
the mother of my child, had just told me that
she loved me back.
 This was hands down the best day of my
life, but I knew it would only hold that place
for a short time. There were so many
amazing days ahead that would claim that top
spot. The day Natalie agreed to marry me, the
day she walked down the aisle and took my
name, and most likely, the best of them all,
the day our daughter was born.
Discreetly tucking myself back into my
pants, I kissed her deeply, taking the time to
make her breathless again before pulling
back. “God, do I love you.”
Natalie was still completely naked while I
was fully dressed, but I wasn’t sure how long
that would last. Just looking at her flushed
and bare had my cock stirring again.
Glancing down at the ripped fabric she’d
claimed was clothing where it lay discarded
on the floor, I smirked. “Sorry.”
Following my gaze, she glanced back with a
wry look. “No, you’re not.”
 “No, I’m not,” I admitted. “I’ll buy you a
new one, but I can’t guarantee it won’t meet
the same fate.”
“If I knew it was going to provoke that kind
of reaction, I’d have worn it sooner,” she
teased with a smile.
“If I recall correctly, I offered to take you on
this kitchen island once before.”
Cheeks turning pink, her eyes held mine. “I
remember.”
Nipping her bottom lip with my teeth, I
replied, “I’m glad you changed your mind.”
“I also remember you making mention of
the shower. Or did I mention that one?” she
mused.
Groaning against her mouth, I was back to
fully hard again. She was intoxicating, and
her newfound boldness was enough to throw
me over the edge. Our kitchen coupling had
been frantic, primal. I’d needed her in that
moment. This next one, I could take my time
and tease her, just as she was teasing me now.
Nuzzling into her neck, I gave a light bite
where it connected to her shoulder, eliciting a
sharp inhale from her soft, sweet mouth
before moving up next to her ear. “The
shower was all you, baby.”
“I’m all sweaty,” she whined, a smile
evident in her voice.
“Then we’d better get you all cleaned up.”
Natalie’s laughter was infectious, and I
found myself laughing too. Each day, I fell
more in love with her. It almost didn’t seem
possible to love her more.
Allowing me to ease her off the island, she
reached up, rubbing a hand against my cheek,
remarking, “I like the stubble. Feels amazing
against my skin.”
“Well, in that case.” I leaned down again to
rub my face into the soft, sensitive skin of
her neck, relishing the sound of the moan
pulled from deep within her throat.
Pushing against my chest, she warned,
“Keep doing that, and we won’t make it up to
the shower.”
“Oh, we’ll make it to the shower. I don’t
care if it’s round two or round seven,” I
declared.
Natalie’s eyes widened. “Round seven?”
“When it comes to you, baby, I could go all
day.”
Taking a step back, she shook her head.
“No, that’s just something men say to stroke
their egos.”
Stalking her, matching her retreat step for
step, I teased, “You sure that you want to test
that theory?”
She took a shaky breath, unsure. “No?”
“Is that a question or an answer?” I crept
closer. “I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but
I’m a competitor. I play to win. If you say
yes, I’ll take it as a personal mission to
conquer that challenge.”
“You’re making an awful lot of promises for
a man who is still wearing all his clothes,”
she taunted, a smirk gracing her lips.
Lunging for her in response, she squealed,
twisting away from where I reached for her.
“It’s all fun and games until you’re
screaming while riding my tongue.”
All laughter faded, and she froze, mouth
dropping open in shock at my brazen words,
but she quickly recovered, countering,
“We’re going to have to make sure to wash
that dirty mouth out with soap while we’re in
there.”
“My mouth is at your command.”
Natalie headed toward the back staircase,
tapping her wrist, pretending she was
wearing a watch. “Time to get to work, Mr.
Slate. I don’t have all day.”
 God, hearing her find her voice and tease
me was even more of a turn-on than her
luscious body.
I pretended to give her a head start, calling
out, “When I get to ten, I’m coming up there!
One . . . Two . . . Ten!”
Laughter floated down the stairs as I took
them two at a time, catching up to her in the
bedroom and pulling her into my arms once
more.
Natalie pouted. “That wasn’t fair!”
Bending down to one of her heaving breasts,
I said against her flesh, “Who said anything
about playing fair?” The nipple barely an
inch from my mouth puckered, anticipating
my attention. Done talking, I pulled it deep
within my mouth, first sucking hard, then
teasing the bud with my teeth.
“Shower, Jaxon,” she breathed out.
Reaching down, I ran a hand between her
legs. Groaning, I found her ready for me,
murmuring against her breast, “Who needs a
shower when you’re already wet?”
A moan ripped from her throat, so breathy
that my cock began to throb. As much as I
wanted to tease her, my resolve to go slowly
was waning.
She was right. We needed to head to the
shower. Taking her mouth once more, I
savored the taste of her. She always had that
slight hint of mint, but I’d never seen her
chewing gum.
Feeling her hands lifting the hem of my T-
shirt, I pulled back, raising my arms so she
could remove it. She dropped it behind her
back before running both hands down my
outstretched arms and over my chest,
skimming the muscles of my abs, which
bunched and contracted against her
featherlight touch.
Tracing my Adonis belt with her fingers, she
licked her lips, then flashed her eyes to mine.
“You know, when you did that mini strip
tease for Hannah, I dreamt about this for
weeks. Damn, your body is gorgeous. It’s not
fair.”
Remembering that night well, I’d been
going for maximum shock value, and it
would seem that it had worked. I grinned
down at her. “I knew you were checking me
out.”
Rolling her eyes but still smiling, Natalie
moved toward the master bathroom. Hearing
the water running in the shower, I joined her
as promised. Crossing the threshold into the
bathroom, I paused in the doorway, leaning
against the wall as I drank in the sight of her.
Natalie was in full view behind the glass
wall of the shower, hands running through
her now wet hair. I could have watched her
all day, wet and naked, but heat fogged up
the glass, obscuring her from my view.
 Hooking my thumbs into my joggers, I
removed both those and my boxer briefs in a
single motion, kicking off my socks as I
made my way to her slick, warm, waiting
body.
Joining her under the warm spray of water
from overhead, I slid my hands over her ass,
gliding until I gripped her hips, groaning at
their new fullness. Natalie looked up at me
before running her hands through my hair,
slicking it away from my forehead.
Taking her mouth with mine, I loved the
feel of the warm water cascading between
our bodies. Reaching between us, she
grabbed my dick possessively, gliding her
hand up and down its length effortlessly, the
water aiding her smooth movements.
Pulling back from our kiss, she smirked up
at me. “This what you had in mind?”
Blinded by the lust-induced haze caused by
the ministrations of her hand, I tried to focus
on what I’d planned for us once we’d made it
up here. Currently, all the blood from my
brain was rushing to where she was currently
stroking me. As amazing as her wet, warm
hand felt, I knew the real thing was better.
Forcing her back against the cool marble
wall, I growled, “Not even close.”
Gripping her wrist, I pried her fingers loose
reluctantly. Taking both her wrists in one
hand, I pinned them above her head while
keeping my body mere inches from hers.
Natalie squirmed, arching, trying to gain
contact with my body now that I’d taken
away her hands. Keeping my body just out of
reach of hers, she moaned, her legs shifting
restlessly.
“You want me to touch you, baby?” I
crooned.
“Please,” she whimpered.
“What my baby wants, my baby gets.”
Releasing her hands, I dropped to my knees
and threw one of her legs over my shoulder
in one fluid motion. Her hips jutted forward,
trying to make contact where I knew she was
aching. Wanting to drive her wild before I
devoured my afternoon snack, I rubbed my
stubble against the inside of her thigh.
“Oh, God.” Her moan was muffled by the
rush of water echoing off the shower walls.
Her reaction spurred me on, and I lowered
to her anchored leg at knee level, slowly
inching my way up, peppering kisses, and
rubbing my face against her soft, slick flesh.
Feeling her legs begin to shake, I gripped her
hips to keep her upright seconds before I
dove into her with a long slow stroke of my
tongue.
Natalie trembled in my arms, and I knew
she was putty in my hands. Pulling back to
peer up at her, I gave her a choice. “Fast or
slow?”
 Her closed eyes popped open suddenly to
meet mine. “Excuse me?”
Tightening my grip on her hips, I asked
again, “Do you want me to make you come
fast or slow, baby?”
Watching her swallow, debating her options,
she took a shaky breath before answering,
“Fast.”
Growling, I resumed my position between
her thighs, taking her clit inside my mouth
and sucking on it while giving it little flicks
with my tongue. I heard her call out, her
body tensing moments before it began
thrusting against me. Natalie gripped my
hair, bucking wildly as she came all over my
mouth. Easing her down with long, slow
licks, her hips rocked forward each time my
tongue passed over her sensitive little nub.
Standing to my full height, I drank her in—
flushed face, eyes closed, and breasts rising
and falling rapidly with her labored
breathing. She’d never looked more
beautiful, fully sated as she was right now.
No one else would lay eyes on her this
vulnerable ever again. This was my Natalie.
Mine.
“You still with me?” I asked, using my
thumbs to caress her cheekbones.
Nodding, she licked her lips, still forcing
out short breaths. “Uh-huh.”
“Good, because I’m not done with you yet.”
Natalie’s eyes snapped open, panicked. “No.
I can’t take any more.”
Drawing her lower lip between my teeth, I
gave it a gentle tug, causing her to moan,
throwing her head back as I released it. “I
think you’ve got one more in you.”
She shook her head weakly. “You’re going
to kill me, Jaxon.”
“You wanted the full shower experience,
didn’t you?” I teased.
“Jaxon,” she groaned.
 Leaning in to nuzzle her neck, I asked
against her soft flesh, “Is that a ‘Fuck me,
Jaxon’? Or a ‘Fuck off, Jaxon’?” She only
moaned in response, so I pulled back to make
eye contact, prompting, “Use your words,
Natalie.”
Closing her eyes tight, she whispered, “Fuck
me, Jaxon.”
“Excellent choice.”
A shaky laugh left Natalie’s lips as she
opened her eyes again, and I tugged her
further into the giant shower toward the
marble bench. Positioning myself behind her
as she faced the bench, I commanded,
“Kneel.”
Glancing behind me, she obeyed, placing
her knees onto the bench and facing the wall.
Taking her hands, I positioned them—palms
flat against the marbled wall before her.
Using my knee, I forced her legs further
apart, coming flush behind her, reaching
around to cup one breast.
Natalie arched into my touch as I bent
slightly at the knees, entering her from
behind, groaning into her neck. “Say the
words again, Natalie,” I demanded, deep
inside her.
Looking back, her eyelids heavy, pupils
dilated, a corner of her lip twitched up. “I
love you.”
Pulling almost fully out, I slammed home
hard, causing her to scream. “Say it again.”
That minx clenched her pussy around my
cock in response, causing my free hand to
slam against the wall next to hers, gritting my
teeth against the intense pleasure it sent
through my body.
Jaw clenched, I forced out, “Again.”
Whimpering, she said it once more, “I love
you.”
 “Fuck, I love you,” I forced out, slamming
into her over and over. Her screams
punctuated each thrust, this angle proving
almost too much for her to handle. Pulling
her body flush with mine, I continued my
onslaught until her head fell back against my
shoulder. Her body shuddered in release
before I finally allowed myself to give in to
the orgasm I’d been holding at bay since I’d
stuck my head between her thighs. Two more
strong pumps into her screaming body, and I
exploded inside her tight pussy, biting her
shoulder to muffle the sound as my knees
nearly buckled beneath me with the force of
my climax.
This woman was going to be the death of
me, but I would die a happy man.
Our bodies still connected, I held her as our
breathing slowed enough for Natalie to force
out, “Did you bite me?”
 Licking the mark I’d left behind, I smiled.
“Maybe.”
Turning her head to look back at me, she
was incredulous. “Maybe?”
My laughter echoed off the shower walls
before I teased, “Don’t girls dig that whole
vampire thing?”
Reaching up, she traced the teeth marks
with her finger. “You’re terrible.”
“And you’re all dirty. Come on, let’s clean
you up.”
Pulling out of her warm body, I helped her
down from her perch on the bench.
She turned and sized me up warily. “That
better not mean something else. I’m pretty
sure my life flashed before my eyes on that
last one.”
“That only means I’m doing something
right.” I winked.
Shaking her head, she walked toward the
warm spray from the showerhead. Taking a
seat on the bench, I merely watched as she
soaped up her body. I marveled that this
woman had given herself over entirely to my
care, body and soul. I’d promised her we
were done—for now at least—so staying five
feet away while she was still naked was for
her own protection. I was already
contemplating taking her again. I would
never get enough of her.
Only once Natalie had stepped out,
wrapping her body in a fluffy white towel,
did I allow myself to venture forth, giving
myself a quick wash with her flowery soap. I
smiled to myself with the knowledge that I
would be smelling like her for the rest of the
day.
Closing my eyes, I let the water cascade
over my body, replaying the morning’s
events in my mind.
What a welcome home.
 Sitting on the living room floor—
assembling what seemed like the tenth item
of baby gear contained within the boxes in
the front hallway—I heard the telltale sounds
of the kids returning home from school. Door
bursting open, overlapping voices, door
slamming closed, then running. I’d missed
them, so I’d made sure fresh cookies were
waiting for them in the kitchen.
Natalie could be heard greeting them in the
kitchen and handing out cookies, mere
moments before they burst into the living
room.
It was Jameson’s voice I heard first. “Jaxon!
You’re back!”
Pushing off the ground to sit on the couch, I
took in his smiling face, grateful that Leo’s
visit didn’t appear to have any lingering
effects. Reaching out a fist for him to bump, I
responded, “Good to see you too, buddy.”
Beau crawled right up next to me on the
couch, reaching up to grab the sides of my
face in his chubby toddler hands before
touching my nose. “You got a boo boo?”
He made it sound simple when it was so
complex, but I was grateful for his
innocence. Nodding, I confirmed, “Yeah,
little man.”
Leaning in, he placed a sloppy kiss on the
bridge of my nose, declaring, “All better
now, Jaxon!”
“Thanks.” I couldn’t help but chuckle.
Amelia surveyed the mess I’d made in the
living room, remarking, “Grandmama went a
little crazy.” Seeming so much older than her
almost ten years, my only wish was that I
would be able to take over the burden of
caring for her mom so that she would feel
comfortable enough to go back to being a
kid.
“I’m sure she loves all of you very much,
and it’s hard to be so far away.” My words
were genuine. Not knowing the woman
personally, I was forever indebted to her for
not only helping to get Natalie out of a bad
marriage, but for stepping in to help her keep
her kids now that there was a threat from her
own son. I knew from experience how
difficult it was to be apart from this particular
family, and I could only imagine how much
their grandparents missed them.
Natalie came in from the kitchen, holding a
cup of tea in her hands, stopping behind the
couch.
Jameson looked over to her. “Did you ask
him yet, Mom?”
Feeling my eyebrows draw together, I
looked between them. “Ask me what?”
 Natalie shifted on her feet, blushing. Damn,
she was adorable when she was nervous.
“Well, um, the kids and I were wondering if,
maybe . . .”
“Maybe what, Natalie?”
Jameson jumped in, “We want you to move
in! Please, say yes!”
Did he say move in? Like, as in, live here?
Turning to Natalie, I asked, “Whose idea was
this?”
Amelia didn’t let her answer, volunteering,
“We are a family. You take care of us and
Mom, so you should be here with us.”
Natalie clarified, “The kids called a family
meeting, and we all agreed it would make us
happy if you moved in. But . . .” She
pointedly looked at each kid before
continuing, “We also discussed that it was
okay for you to say no since you do live just
next door.”
 Of course I wanted to be here with them.
They were constantly on my mind, and I
missed them desperately when I wasn’t
around. However, there was still one factor to
consider. “What does Uncle Liam think about
this?”
“Uncle Liam wasn’t consulted,” came a
voice from behind us. Almost as if the
mention of his name was enough to summon
his presence, there stood Liam, scowling as
per usual. “But it would appear I’ve been
outvoted.”
“Liam . . .” Natalie warned.
“I don’t want to cause any problems. As you
said, I live next door and can come over any
time you need or want me,” I offered,
standing to face both Natalie and Liam.
Natalie leveled Liam with a glare before
responding, “Liam can hide in his basement
cave if he doesn’t like it. Or maybe go back
to Belleston if his attitude doesn’t improve.”
 The last thing I needed was to drive a wedge
between them, leaving Natalie to resent me
later. “Like Amelia said, we are a family, but
I’m not going to tear apart the family you
already have. With how much I’m gone, you
need Liam here. I’m a big enough man to
admit that.”
Liam grumbled something under his breath,
and Natalie addressed him again. “I thought
someone apologized last week and said they
were Team Natalie.” Tapping her chin in
feigned thought, she mused, “Now, who was
that again?”
Deciding to let them hash this out, I
watched their exchange.
Liam sighed. “That was me.”
A smile graced her lips, and she knew she
had him, going in for the kill. “Are you really
gonna let Jaxon be the better man? Can your
ego handle that?”
“It’s not about ego, Natalie,” he declared.
 Natalie rolled her eyes. “Of course it is.
Jaxon can admit that we need you around,
but you can’t admit that maybe we also need
him around?”
“It’s not the same,” Liam countered.
“You’re right. It’s not the same. You’re my
big brother, and your role is very different
from Jaxon’s in our lives. Your vision has
been clouded by your need to protect me, but
he’s been good for us. You’re not being
replaced. We still need you, but our lives are
changing, and we need to adapt.”
The scowl never left Liam’s face—I
couldn’t recall a time I’d seen the man
genuinely smile—but he nodded, gruffly
responding, “Fine. He can move in.”
“And you’ll be civil to Jaxon?” Natalie
pressed.
Liam crossed his arms. “Well, we’re not
going to sit around braiding each other’s hair
if that’s what you mean.”
 “Liam . . .”
“As long as you’re happy and the kids are
happy, I’ll do my best not to cause any
problems,” he grumbled.
“Good.” Natalie turned to me. “Now that
that’s settled, what do you say?”
Looking at her kids’ three pairs of brown
eyes trained on me, I asked, “Are you sure
you want me here all the time?”
“Yes!” came the chorus of small voices.
Smiling, I responded, “Well, then how could
I say no?”
“You can’t!” Jameson claimed proudly.
“Then I guess it’s settled, buddy.”
He pumped a fist into the air, shouting,
“Yes!”
Beau jumped up onto the couch and then
into my arms, giggling. Liam had left the
room, but I looked to Natalie. “Are we really
doing this?”
 The smile she gave me stole my breath from
my lungs as she leaned in close enough to
whisper, “Well, I do sleep better when you’re
around, so it’s purely selfish of me.”
Smirking, I retorted, “Oh, I see. I’m just
your personal body pillow. Got it.” She
laughed, and my heart squeezed in my chest
at the sound, so I added with a mock salute,
“Ready for duty.”
Stealing a quick kiss from my lips, she
pulled back. “See? I knew I liked you.”
The rest of the afternoon and evening were
spent building more baby gear with
Jameson’s help while Natalie and Amelia
sorted the baby clothes, got them organized,
and started to wash the smallest ones. Beau
played with his wooden trains on the table
while we worked.
It was domestic bliss at its finest. It was
everything that was missing in my life, and I
hadn’t even realized it.
OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 23

OceanofPDF.com
 Natalie

“GIRLS’ NIGHT IN!” THE familiar words

from Hannah brought a smile to my lips. Our
monthly tradition was still going strong after
years of friendship, although slightly
modified now that I wasn’t drinking and
currently the size of an elephant.
On tonight’s agenda was a movie marathon
consisting of some of my favorite rom-coms.
We were all aware that this might be our last
one before Charlotte joined our girl gang as
an honorary junior member.
The fireplace was roaring, keeping us warm
as we weathered likely the last winter
snowstorm, seeing as it was nearly the end of
March. School had already been called off
for the kids the following day, so they would
be staying up too late with whatever
shenanigans Jaxon had cooked up for them.
He was always thinking of new activities to
keep them occupied indoors while the
weather was still bad. I knew he was itching
for the weather to turn so they could have
outdoor fun.
I’d been concerned about Jaxon moving in
—potentially disrupting the cadence we’d
developed since moving back to Hartford—
but as always, he’d proved to be an
overachiever. His transition from daily
visitation to cohabitation had been seamless.
A month in, it was as if he’d lived with us
forever. Liam had loosened up a tad, at least
managing to make family dinners and game
nights, so long as Amy was there to act as a
buffer.
Feet propped up as I rested on the chaise
lounge, I snuggled into my blanket while we
decided which movie to watch first. The
debate was currently whether to go with one
that featured an enemies-to-lovers theme or
one with a second chance romance.
“I vote for the second chance romance.
There are two gorgeous men to drool over in
that one, not just one.” Hannah declared.
Amy wasn’t having it. “Nope, if I’m forced
to watch this lovey-dovey crap, at least I can
watch them attempt to kill each other first.
Minimal mushiness.”
After almost fifteen years, I was accustomed
to their differing viewpoints and knew there
was no changing either of their minds
regarding their perception of love, so I stated,
“You know we are going to watch both,
right?”
That did nothing to settle the dispute, and
they began talking over each other, trying to
explain why their choice was the better for
our first viewing.
Jaxon walked in, carrying two bowls of
popcorn, handing me one with a light kiss on
the cheek, then placing the other on the
coffee table for the girls to share.
Hannah stopped arguing when she noticed
Jaxon, dressed in plaid flannel pajama pants
and a fitted white T-shirt. “Hey there, Jaxon.”
Nodding, he acknowledged her. “Hey,
Hannah.”
“Great game last night.”
“Thanks, it was a team effort.” You’d never
know this man was one of the most talented
players in the league. Humble didn’t begin to
describe him.
 “Settle something for us?” she asked.
“Sure.”
“If you had to choose, would you go with a
movie where the main characters hate each
other before falling in love or one where it’s
more of a second chance at love?”
Jaxon had zero hesitation, answering, “Oh,
hands down, enemies-to-lovers. It’s usually
comedy gold.”
Hannah groaned. “You’re no help.”
Amy reached out to high-five him. “I like
you more and more by the day.”
Jaxon turned his attention back to me. “You
couldn’t break the tie?”
Shrugging, I explained, “There was no
point. We’re going to watch them both, and I
don’t need one of them pretending to be mad
at me for half the night.”
Understanding, Jaxon shot me a sultry look,
the one he reserved especially for the
bedroom. “I’ll get the real answer of which
one you would have chosen later. I have my
ways.”
Blushing, I changed the subject. “What are
you up to with the kids tonight?”
“We’ve got a fort set up in Jameson’s room.
It’ll have to do until we get the treehouse
built this spring.”
That had been Jaxon’s birthday gift to
Jameson a few weeks back—plans for a
treehouse in the backyard. He had earned
major brownie points with that one. They
couldn’t wait for the crew to come and begin
construction.
“Well, have fun. Don’t keep them up too
late.”
“You got it.” Turning to Hannah and Amy,
he added, “Same goes for you two. Don’t
keep her up too late. She barely gets enough
sleep as it is.”
“And who’s fault is that?” I countered.
 Dropping one more kiss to my lips, he
chuckled. “Guilty. And not even a little bit
sorry.”
Jaxon headed up the main stairs toward the
kids’ bedrooms, and I could feel Hannah’s
eyes boring into the back of my head. Mildly
annoyed, I asked, “What?”
Hannah pretended to act innocent when she
was anything but. “Oh, I don’t know. Just
over here wondering what Jaxon’s doing over
here in his pajamas while we’re having our
girls’ night.”
Amy took a sip of tonight’s signature
cocktail, a creamy mint chocolate
concoction. “Oh, didn’t you hear? He lives
here now.”
Hannah’s mouth dropped open, seconds
before she shrieked, “What?”
“For a month,” Amy added, smirking. She
had always enjoyed riling Hannah up.
 ”A month? What’s next? You get married
and don’t tell me?”
“Don’t be so dramatic, Hannah.” Annoyance
filled my tone.
Hannah shook her head, holding up her
hand. “No, I’m not being dramatic. This is a
major life change. Plus, I have to live
vicariously through you. You can’t be
holding out on me at this point. Shacking up
and procreating with a hockey player? Where
do I sign up?”
“You know your dad will never let that
happen,” I argued.
There was a wicked gleam in her eye.
“Doesn’t mean I can’t keep trying.
Eventually, I’ll break one of them.”
“Can’t wait to see Ace have a stroke when
you do.”
Hannah huffed. “It’s his own fault. You
can’t raise three daughters around the game
and then tell them they can’t date one. It’s
like he’s daring me to do it. I want it even
more because it’s forbidden.”
“Allison and Chrissy didn’t seem to have an
issue finding non-hockey players,” I
countered.
“Yeah, well, my sisters are boring. Their
husbands are also boring. I’ve been around
long enough to know those hockey players
know how to fuck.” She stood up, thrusting
her hips for effect.
“Hannah!” Heat crept up my cheeks.
“Oh, so you’re saying Jaxon’s a lousy lay?”
she challenged, taking a seat.
Looking around wildly to make sure none of
the kids, Jaxon, or God forbid, Liam were
within earshot, I lowered my voice before
rushing out, “I didn’t say that.”
“So, then you’re confirming what I already
know. It’s like those muscles give them
magical sex powers. And don’t even get me
started on their protective instincts. They
protect what’s theirs.” Hannah made a show
of fake fanning herself.
She had a point. Being with Jaxon often
separated my soul from my body, and he had
beaten Trey Carr almost to the point of
unconsciousness thinking about Leo being a
danger to our family. But I couldn’t enable
her. I knew how Ace felt about his daughters
—and me, by extension—being dated by the
players in his locker room.
Trying to cool her jets, I offered, “What
Jaxon and I have is more than sexual.”
Amy grabbed a handful of popcorn,
enjoying the show, as Hannah accused, “You
wouldn’t even have the emotional
relationship with Jaxon if it weren’t for the
sexual one.”
Damn her.
I couldn’t argue with that point. Knowing
deep down that I would never have fallen in
love with Jaxon if I hadn’t accidentally
gotten pregnant didn’t make me feel all warm
and fuzzy inside. Those old insecurities
began to rear their ugly head, but I pushed
them back down. Who cared how we found
our way to each other? What we found as a
result was real.
“Look,” I began. “What we have may be
unconventional, but there’s one thing I do
know. When Leo showed up—” Both
Hannah and Amy made a move to cross
themselves to ward off the evil, and I
laughed, the mood sufficiently lightened. “I
realized how different they are. When Jaxon
stood up to him and told him he’d be lucky to
be the kids’ father, I knew. He was the one.
My life may have taken a really fucked up
path to bring us together, but we finally
found each other. I’m ready to be done with
all the bullshit.”
Hannah softened. “I’m happy for you, Nat. I
really am. But is it so wrong to want what
you have? Maybe minus the knocked-up part.
I’m all set over here.”
“No, it’s not wrong. I’m only pointing out
that there are millions of men out there
outside of the twenty-four currently rostered
on the Comets—only ten of which are
available at present. I’m sure out of those
millions, you can find one that knows what
they’re doing in bed.”
“Haven’t found one yet,” she grumbled.
Amy snorted, causing Hannah to turn her
focus on her. “Oh, don’t get me started with
you.”
Amy put her hands up in defense. “Hey, I’m
not interested. That’s my choice.”
“You can’t let one bad experience ruin the
rest of your life. I should know.” I offered.
“That’s for me to decide. I’m happy with
my life,” Amy declared.
Hannah and I shared a look. Amy’d had a
bad experience in college that had shaped
how she viewed relationships—sexual or
otherwise—with men from that point on. It
was a long story, and one for another day.
Yawning, I covered my mouth before
returning to the task at hand. “Are we
watching movies or what?”
“Fine, but I know you would have chosen
the second chance romance,” Hannah
accused, narrowing her eyes.
“Start the movie, Hannah.”
She was right. Once upon a time, it had
been my favorite trope, probably because I’d
longed for a do-over. Now that I was living
it, I didn’t need to see it played out on screen
quite so desperately. My ex was far behind
me in the rear-view mirror, and I was more
than ready to move on with my handsome
new hero.
I’d finally found what I’d been searching for
since I was thirteen and had picked up my
first romance novel—my happily ever after.
It was about damn time.

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 Chapter 24

OceanofPDF.com
 Jaxon

MARCH TURNED INTO APRIL, which

meant only one thing in the hockey world—
playoffs.
The entire season led to this point, and all
eyes were on the Comets. When I’d been
drafted number one overall almost ten years
ago, there had been an expectation that I
would be the cornerstone needed to get the
team back on track, headed toward winning a
championship. Getting that top pick in the
draft meant that your team did poorly the
previous year, so everyone knew it would be
a process that took time to build back up.
But here we were, ten years later, and we’d
come close, but never close enough. A
professional hockey championship was one
of the most challenging championships to
win in sports, requiring sixteen wins to claim
it. Sometimes it seemed fucking impossible,
yet, somehow, every year, one team managed
to win it. That team just hadn’t been us.
This year, we were at the top of the division
and second overall in the conference, so we’d
secured home-ice advantage for now and
hopefully going forward, but it would depend
on how the other series turned out.
You could feel the energy inside the locker
room as we inched closer and closer to the
date circled on the calendar as the first
official day of the playoffs.
That wasn’t the only date circled on my
calendar. April also brought Charlie’s due
date, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t on
edge.
I wasn’t afraid to become a father—I’d
grown into that role with my daughter’s older
siblings—but I was terrified that something
would happen while I was traveling with the
team. What if I wasn’t there when Natalie
needed me the most? The thought paralyzed
me, so I shook it off, putting positive
thoughts into the universe. I would be there.
Training was rigorous as we barreled
quickly toward Game 1 of the first round
against the Indianapolis Speed. Team
meetings, workouts, on-ice practices, medical
evaluations by the training staff, and film
review filled our days. All of this kept me
away from home more than I liked, but it was
temporary. As long as I made it home in time
to tuck the kids into bed and spend a few
hours with Natalie, I could manage the grind
over the next hopefully two months.
The day before Game 1, Coach took it
easier on us, knowing we needed a slight rest
before the gauntlet laid before us. We all
knew the next two months would be Hell.
Our bodies would be pushed to the brink, and
we’d lose guys to injury along the way. Our
mental mindset would be just as important as
our physical stamina.
Getting stretched out and massaged after
practice, Cal was laid out on the table next to
mine. Even though this was supposed to help
ease the tension in my body, my mind was
racing between my current personal life and
my responsibilities to the team, so it was
counterproductive. I’d never been wound so
tight.
 Drawing me from my thoughts was Cal’s
voice. “Hey, Jaxon?”
Turning my head to look at him as the
therapist worked on my thighs, I responded,
“What’s up?” Cal paused for a minute,
almost unsure, so I prompted, “Spit it out,
man.”
Clearing his throat, he spoke. “I only
wanted to make sure everything was all right
with you. Aside from the fight, you haven’t
been acting like yourself. I get you’re done
with the nightlife, and that’s cool, but you
won’t even go out to dinner with us anymore
on the road. You shut yourself in your room.
I’m worried about you.”
A pang of guilt hit me—this was one of my
best friends, and he was in the dark about the
biggest part of my life. He thought something
was wrong with me because he was right—I
hadn’t been going out. I’d been video
chatting with Natalie and the kids in my
room because they were my priority now.
Charlie would be here sooner rather than
later, and I knew the time was coming when I
wouldn’t have to keep her existence a secret
any longer.
Praying he would forgive me when he found
out the real reason why I’d been distant, I
went with a blanket excuse. “Sorry, brother.
Been dealing with some family stuff.”
Concern filled his face, and I felt even
worse about my lie of omission. “Aw, shit.
I’m sorry. I had no idea. Is it Braxton? Your
parents? Anything you need, I’m here.”
“No, really, it’s no big deal. Don’t worry
about it.”
Cal’s face was full of doubt. He wasn’t
buying it entirely, but dropped it. “Well, the
offer stands. I mean it—anything you need.”
“Thanks, man. I appreciate it.”
We finished our rub-downs in silence, but
the guilt still nagged at me. How much
longer would Natalie insist we keep our
daughter and our relationship a secret? Until
Charlie was born? Until the season was over?
I didn’t want to push her because I knew
she’d been through Hell, but I wanted the
world to know she was mine. I didn’t give a
damn what anyone else thought of us—they
were our lives, not theirs. Knowing I’d
promised her as much time as she needed, I
just had to wait. She’d have to be ready
eventually, right? It wasn’t like we would
send Charlie off to kindergarten having had
no contact with the outside world.
Throwing on a newly printed Comets
playoffs shirt marked with the year and my
number, I sat down at my locker to prepare
for the final film session of the day before I
could go home to my family. Cal plopped
down next to me, also getting ready to spend
our afternoon game planning how best to
beat Indy.
 Grabbing my phone from my locker to
check if I had any messages, my heart
stopped when I saw multiple bubbles on my
lock screen indicating text messages.

Natalie: Feeling a little bit off. Amy’s going

to take me in to get checked out. Probably
nothing to worry about.

Amy: Hey. Don’t panic, but you should

probably meet us over at Hartford General.
They’re admitting Natalie.

Cursing, I noticed the difference between

time stamps on their messages. Natalie’s was
three hours ago, and Amy’s was two.
Anything could have happened in that
amount of time. My heart pounded in my
chest as I threw on my sneakers, grabbed my
keys, and sprinted out of the locker room.
Behind me, I heard Cal mutter, “Yeah,
definitely no big deal.”
 Charlotte Rose Slate was born at 5:23 AM
on April 12th, and my world was forever
changed. The whole experience had been raw
and real, terrifying and exhilarating, all at the
same time. I could honestly say I’d never felt
more alive.
She was perfect.
Our Charlie girl was a raven-haired beauty,
just like her mother and sister. I took great
care to count each of her ten fingers and toes.
She weighed in at a touch over seven pounds
and felt feather-light in my arms.
Then, there was Natalie.
God, she was incredible. She was so strong,
and the realization instantly struck me that I
would never be able to repay her for giving
me this most precious gift.
 Looking at her now, my heart was bursting
with love for this woman. Her skin was
shiny, still coated in a thin sheen of sweat.
Her dark hair was pulled up into something
that had at one time resembled a bun but now
had multiple pieces falling out in a chaotic
mess. She’d never looked more beautiful.
Natalie had demanded that I go with Charlie
for her vital checks while the doctors fixed
her up. Now that they were done, I made my
way back over to the side of her hospital bed,
carrying our daughter. I had whiplash from
how noisy and animated this room had been
barely half an hour ago to how calm it was
now.
Charlie was asleep in my arms, but I
couldn’t tear my gaze away from her perfect
little face. I marveled at my beautiful
daughter, whispering, afraid to wake her,
“Did we really make this?”
 Natalie laughed lightly, and I let my favorite
sound wash over me. “Well, your
contribution was certainly more fun than
mine, but yes.”
If she was joking, that meant she must be
feeling well, so I relaxed a bit, teasing her
back, “So, what you’re saying is . . . It’s like
that class project where one partner does
most of the work, and the other one cashes in
on the A?”
“Nailed it.”
Gently placing Charlie in her mother’s
arms, I bent down to brush a quick kiss on
her lips. “Thank you.”
Still in a playful mood, she smiled. “Eh, it’s
not like I had anything better going on
today.” Staring down at our sweet girl, she
added, “You know, I think she looks a little
bit like you.”
“No, she’s way too beautiful,” I protested.
 Peering up at me, she countered, “Are you
saying you’re not a beautiful man? I recall
ordering top-shelf hunky superstar athlete
genes. I may have to return this package.”
Laughing—loving how light and free she
was, knowing I’d brought her out of her shell
—I acquiesced, “Well, we can’t have that,
but I think she has hints of both Amelia and
Beau.”
Smiling that brilliant smile, she nodded.
“I’ll allow it.” Unable to hide the yawn that
came upon me suddenly, sympathy filled her
warm brown eyes. “You should go home and
sleep. You’ve been up all night and have a
big game tonight.”
This woman. She was just as sleep-deprived
as I was, and undoubtedly physically
exhausted, but she was worried about me. I,
on the other hand, had barely thought about
what lay beyond this hospital room since
entering it yesterday afternoon. She was
trying to take care of me when I should be
taking care of her.
“I’m not leaving.”
Hearing the determination in my voice, she
frowned, chiding, “Jaxon. You have to go to
the game tonight. You’re not the first nor the
last Comets player to have a baby during the
season.”
“I’ll go to the game, but I’m not going home
to sleep while the two of you are here alone.”
Natalie tried to reason with me. “I’m going
to sleep, so there’s no point in you staying.
Go home. Rest. I’ll be right here when you
get back after the game.”
“I can sleep here while you sleep.” She
wasn’t going to win this battle.
“That’s not a great idea, Jaxon. If you stay
here, nurses will be coming in and out every
hour to check on me. If you go home, you
can get a solid seven hours and be more than
ready to play.”
 “I said no, Natalie.” I kept my voice calm,
knowing that if I raised my voice, she would
feel like I was trying to control her. I didn’t
want to trigger her on such a happy day.
There was something in her eyes that I
couldn’t quite nail down—almost like she
wanted me to stay but also wanted me to
leave. I’d promised myself I would be the
dependable, caring partner she hadn’t had
before, but I could tell she didn’t know how
to respond to that in certain situations.
Regardless, I wasn’t going anywhere until I
absolutely had to.
Sighing, she shrugged. “Don’t think I won’t
say, ‘I told you so.’”
Reaching out, I touched a hand to the foot
that had escaped the blankets surrounding
Charlie’s tiny body. “It’s a deal.”
Gathering up blankets and pillows left on
the reclining chair by the nursing staff, I
began building a nest for myself. My six-foot
frame would be a squeeze in this chair, but
my discomfort was nothing compared to
what Natalie had endured bringing our
daughter into the world.
As I drifted off to sleep, having been awake
for twenty-four hours straight, I heard her
mutter, “Stubborn man.”
I will always be stubborn when it comes to
putting you first. Accept it.

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 Chapter 25

OceanofPDF.com
 Natalie

“KNOCK KNOCK! AUNT AMY’S here!”

Amy’s voice floated through the doorway as
she entered the hospital room mid-afternoon,
arms bursting with gift bags and balloons.
“You know we will be home tomorrow. You
didn’t need to bring all this here.” I gestured
to the items she carried.
 Dropping everything on the long bench
couch situated along the large window, she
came over to hug me. “Don’t you dare try to
take this from me. This is my first time
visiting my best friend in the hospital after
she’s had a baby. Let me enjoy it.” Looking
around the room, she asked, “Where is my
new honorary niece? I mean, rumor has it
this one isn’t named after me, so I don’t
know why I bothered to come all the way
down here.”
“I fully expect your firstborn to be named
after me, just so you know.”
Amy threw me a look. “Well, then. The
joke’s on you, lady. No babies happening
over here. Ever.”
“Maybe someday you’ll change your mind.”
Shaking her head, she was adamant. “Nope.
You can keep popping them out and
satisfying my baby fix. Then eventually, your
kids will get older and have kids, and I can
play grandma with them. See? I’ve thought
this plan out.”
Knowing better than to argue this point, I
conceded, “All right. Aunt Amy for life.”
“Don’t you forget it. Now, where is that
baby?”
“They took her to do tests in the nursery,” I
explained.
“You finally scare Jaxon away?”
Rolling my eyes, I couldn’t help but laugh.
“He wouldn’t let her out of his sight. So, I’m
sure he’s down the hall watching through the
glass of the nursery window.”
“As Hannah would say, protective
instincts.” Taking a step back, she surveyed
me from head to toe. “How are you feeling?”
“Tired, sore, the usual.”
Almost as if on cue, Jaxon’s voice filtered in
from the doorway. “You haven’t been
messing around and not taking your pain
meds on schedule, have you? They don’t
hand out medals for suffering in silence.”
“Speak of the devil.” A smile crept onto my
face. Jaxon had not only been overprotective
of Charlie, but me as well. Having a partner
who cared so much about my well-being
made me feel cherished. I didn’t deserve him.
Amy saw the bassinet he was pushing and
left my side. “I’ve been waiting for you!”
Reaching inside, she scooped up Charlotte,
cooing, “Well, hello, beautiful.”
“Hey, Amy.” Jaxon chuckled.
Amy responded, not even sparing him a
glance, “You’re not the star today. This sweet
baby girl is.”
Moving the bassinet on wheels to the corner
of the room, he admitted, “Fair enough. She
is a showstopper.”
Swaying from side to side with Charlie in
her arms, she remarked, “You know, I
couldn’t properly judge your handiwork until
just now, Jaxon, but I have to say, I was right.
This is one gorgeous baby. Even if she isn’t
named after me.”
Jaxon glanced toward the mountain of bags
and balloons, asking, “Jeez, Amy, did you
buy out the entire gift shop?”
She nodded to a single brown bag in the
bunch. “There might be a little something in
there for you.”
Plucking the brown bag off the bench, his
eyes widened. “You brought me food?”
“Figured if I was tagging you out, it was the
least I could do.”
Opening the container, he found a mountain
of pasta and grilled chicken—his usual pre-
game carb and protein combo. Sinking into
the recliner, he sniffed deeply, whispering,
“You’re a Godsend, Amy.”
“Yes, I know, I’m an amazing friend. Had
lots of years of practice. Now, eat up so you
can go win a game and dedicate it to
Charlie.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
One thing I’d learned living with a
professional hockey player was how much
they ate. They burned so many calories that
they even ate during intermissions at the
games. Combine that with the water weight
lost due to significant sweating, and they
dropped anywhere between five and ten
pounds during a game. Talk about a high-
intensity workout.
Jaxon sat down in the recliner, practically
inhaling the giant container of food.
Checking the wall clock, it was nearing four
o’clock, and I knew the game tonight was at
seven. Jaxon was almost done with his
massive meal, so I prodded softly, “Babe,
you have to go.”
Exhaling, he stood, throwing out the takeout
food container. “I know.” Stopping in front of
Amy, he took Charlie into his arms, placing a
kiss on her head. “Daddy’s got to go to work,
but I’ll be back later. Be good for Mommy.”
Handing her back to Amy, he came over to
my bed, leaning down to kiss me, lingering
for a moment as I sighed into his mouth.
Pulling back slightly, he leaned his forehead
against mine, breathing, “I wish I didn’t have
to go.”
My heart went out to him. It did. I knew
what it was like to have to leave your babies
behind, and it had broken my heart every
single time. It felt like a piece of you was
missing—a phantom limb you could feel but
couldn’t see.
“It’s only for a few hours, and you can make
it up to me by changing all the diapers when
you get back.”
That loosened him up a bit, and Jaxon
forced out a laugh. “Deal. I love you.”
 “I love you too. Now, go win. There will be
one extra Comets fan pulling for you tonight.
Make her proud.”
Rising to his full height, Jaxon gave Charlie
one more soft kiss before forcing his feet to
carry him out of the room. Watching as he
left, a piece of my heart felt like it was
leaving with him. Jarring me out of my
thoughts was the soft cry coming from
Charlie, held in Amy’s arms.
Smiling, I remarked, “You forget how tiny
their cries are when they’re this little.”
Amy laughed. “Oh yeah, she’s got nothing
on Beau’s eardrum-bursting screams.”
“She’s probably hungry.”
The moment Charlie was placed in my
arms, she immediately began rooting, trying
to nurse.
Amy shook her head. “Girl knows what she
wants. Dad got fed, so she got jealous and
wanted next dibs. Then, we’ll make sure to
feed Mom.” She winked at me.
Amy was the best friend I could have ever
asked for. She looked out for me even when I
got in my own damn way, including when it
came to letting Jaxon into our lives. No doubt
I owed her everything, and I feared I’d never
be able to repay her for all that she’d done
for me and my kids.

Showered, fed, and feeling more like myself

than I had in months, Amy and I settled in for
the start of the Comets’ playoff game while
Charlie snoozed away.
The pre-game commentary was in full
swing when a knock sounded on the door.
Expecting another nurse check, I was startled
when a girl in her early twenties wearing a
Comets-branded polo shirt entered the room.
Immediately, panic pierced my heart that,
somehow, the organization had found out
about Charlie and her connection to their star
player.
Smiling, she introduced herself. “Hi, I’m
Madison, and I’m with the Connecticut
Comets Foundation.”
Amy, having sensed my panic, took the
lead. “And how may we help you, Madison?”
That’s when I realized there was a package
in her hands. She explained, “In celebration
of the first round of the playoffs, the
Connecticut Comets Foundation has sent
over some gear for our littlest hockey fans
here in the maternity ward.”
“Well, look at that. Charlie made it just in
time. We were getting ready to watch the
game ourselves.” Amy smiled at the girl.
Walking to my bedside, Madison handed me
the package containing a Comets-branded
blanket and a tiny onesie that read: Tiniest
Comets Fan. Finally finding my voice now
that I knew the threat to our anonymity was
imagined, I smiled, touching the items.
“Thank you.”
The girl clearly enjoyed her job, smiling ear
to ear. “It’s my pleasure. Enjoy the game!
Congrats on your new addition.”
Amy walked over, looking over the items.
“Well, how about that? Too bad you’re not on
social media, or we would have to post her
with all her new gear. Although, something is
missing.”
Feeling my brow scrunch up in confusion, I
asked, “What’s missing?”
Walking over to the bags on the bench, she
plucked one out. “A little something from
Amber and Hannah.”
Taking the bag from her hands, I discarded
the tissue paper, pulling out a teeny tiny
Comets jersey with Jaxon’s twenty-three on
the back—the nameplate reading Daddy
instead of Slate. Having spent over a decade
attending Comets games, I’d seen all the
players’ kids wearing similar jerseys.
Picturing them against the glass pre-game,
excited to see their dads and making special
memories, brought tears to my eyes. Charlie
was going to have everything I’d always
wanted for my children—a loving father and
a place where she belonged. Charlie was
already a part of the Comets community at
barely twelve-hours old.
The game started, and I watched as the man
I loved took the ice with his teammates. I
would never tire of watching his powerful
strides, incredible stick-handling skills, or
almost uncanny ability to know exactly
where his teammates were at all times—even
when they were behind him. But something
was off tonight, and looking toward the
sleeping baby in the bassinet, I had a
sneaking suspicion of why.
 He was making careless mistakes that cost
us, allowing Indianapolis to score a goal
early, setting us behind. By the end of the
second, we were still losing, and the team
seemed disjointed. Their star being out of
whack caused a ripple effect, putting the
entire team out of sync.
My phone buzzed on the rolling tray table,
and I picked it up to check the incoming
message.

Hannah: Your boy’s looking like shit out

there tonight. What did you do to him? Keep
him up all night having a baby or something?

Natalie: Something like that. Stubborn ass

wouldn’t go home to take a nap.

Hannah: Guess it’s a good thing it’s a best-

of-seven series.

Natalie: Thanks for the jersey for Charlie.

 Hannah: It’s a rite of passage for any
hockey kid. Can’t wait to take her to her first
game!

As if she could sense that we were talking

about her, Charlie began to stir, whimpering.
I stood to pick her up, shushing her gently
while bouncing her a little so that her eyes
began to drift shut once again. Holding her in
my arms, a feeling of peace flowed through
my body. She and her daddy were the
missing puzzle pieces in my life. They made
it complete.
Hearing the noises of the game coming from
the wall-mounted TV, I smiled. Hannah was
right. Charlie was a hockey kid now, and I
knew if Jaxon had his way, the older kids
would be as well.
The only step that remained was conquering
my fears about going public with my
relationship with Jaxon and the daughter
we’d kept completely secret. Now that she
was here, I knew this bubble we’d created
couldn’t last forever, but a part of me wished
it could.
We were so happy. I didn’t want to risk
anything changing that.

OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 26

OceanofPDF.com
 Jaxon

DESPITE DROPPING GAME 1 to

Indianapolis the day Charlie had been born,
we’d rallied back to win four straight games,
clinching the best-of-seven series against the
Speed and earning a few days of rest while
waiting for our next opponent to be decided.
I’d spent those extra days getting to know
my daughter. Currently, my favorite place
was the reclining rocker in her room, while I
rocked her to sleep against my chest.
My heart was so full it was close to
bursting. This was the family I’d always
imagined but never thought I could have. I
was the luckiest man alive.
Our second-round opponents turned out to
be the New Orleans Gators, and we
maintained home ice for the series, which
meant almost another whole week before we
had to hit the road again. We split the two
games played in Hartford, so we headed to
New Orleans with the series tied at one
apiece for Game 3.
Cal had been distant since the day I’d run
out of the locker room to be by Natalie’s
side. He was my best friend, and I was
struggling, knowing I’d hurt him by closing
myself off. There was an idea I’d had as I’d
rocked Charlie to sleep right before we’d left
on this four-day road trip. It was firmly in a
gray area regarding the promise I’d made to
Natalie, but I couldn’t alienate my best friend
any longer.
Coach gave us the day off between Games 3
and 4, so we had a free day in New Orleans.
Heading to Cal’s room after breakfast, I
knocked on the door.
After a few minutes, Cal opened the door
but hesitated when he saw me on the other
side, pulling on the back of his neck. “Uh,
hey, man.”
Yeah, this was uncomfortable. We’d always
had an easy relationship, and I knew it was
my fault that things were strained. Shoving
both hands into the pockets of my jeans, I
rocked back on my heels. “Hey. You got
some free time this afternoon?”
Cal looked wary, and I couldn’t blame him.
I’d been short with him more than once since
my life had been completely turned upside
down. “I don’t know . . .”
 Extending the olive branch, I offered, “I
know things have been weird for a while
between us, and I can’t tell you exactly
what’s been going on. I’d like for you to
come somewhere with me this afternoon. It
might give you a little insight into what’s
been going on with me, but I need you to
promise me something first.”
His face held traces of intrigue mixed with
apprehension. “What?”
“That you observe and don’t ask any
questions.”
Blowing out a breath, Cal looked toward the
ceiling. “Fine. Just let me know what time,
and I’ll meet you in the lobby.”
“Let’s say noon. Thanks, man.”
“Whatever.” He closed the door right in my
face.
I deserved that. I’d been a lousy friend, but I
was trying now. I just needed him to meet me
halfway.
 A few minutes before noon, I ventured
down to the hotel lobby.
Word always got around about which hotel
we used in various cities, and it was crawling
with Comets fans. Stopping here and there, I
signed autographs and took a few selfies with
those who had traveled the distance to see us
play.
In addition to fans, there were always the
puck bunnies—the girls who made it their
life’s mission to sleep with a hockey player.
It made getting laid easy when you wanted
to, but that life had lost its appeal for me long
before Natalie came knocking at my front
door.
Of course, when I spotted Cal, he was
cuddled up with a bunny at the bar.
 Walking over, I tried to ignore the way her
hand moved up his thigh possessively. Were
they always this brazen, and I’d simply
ignored it? It was noon in a crowded hotel
lobby, for crying out loud. There were kids
around.
Walking up to the pair, I cleared my throat,
causing the brunette perched on the barstool
next to Cal to look me up and down before
her eyes widened in recognition. “Aren’t you
Jaxon Slate?” Her voice contained a southern
accent so sugary sweet it made my teeth ache
from just listening to it.
Having been raised to be polite, I nodded.
“Yes, I am.”
Looking back to Cal, she smirked. “You
know, I’ve always wanted to have a
threesome with a pair of teammates.”
Fixing her with a hard glare, my tone was
cold. “Not interested.”
 Completely unphased, she continued, “Well,
that’s all right, sugar. I’m sure we could find
another to join us.”
Ignoring her, I asked Cal, “You ready to
go?”
Pushing off the stool, he stood. “Yeah.”
The bunny pouted, tugging his hand. “Are
you sure you have to go?”
Turning so she wouldn’t see my exaggerated
eye roll, I heard Cal reply, “Yeah, but I’ll be
back later.”
Walking toward the exit, Cal joked, “Thank
God you said no to her. I did not want to
cross swords with you, man.”
I caught myself laughing. Now, that was my
best friend. “I missed you.”
Clapping me on the back as we made our
way out of the lobby to meet the car I’d
called, he responded, “I’ve missed you too,
brother.”
 Half an hour later, we were dropped off on
the far side of town at our destination. Cal
looked up at the neon sign outside a simple
brick building before turning to me, slightly
shocked. “A tattoo parlor? I thought you
were too strait-laced for this kinda thing.”
Shrugging, I headed for the door. “I’ve
changed.”
“No kidding,” he muttered under his breath.
I knew he didn’t only mean the idea of me
getting a tattoo.
A bell above the door signaled our arrival to
those working inside, and a heavily tatted
woman greeted us. “Can I help you?”
Taking in all the various tattoo art options
on the wall, I answered, “Yeah, I called
earlier. Appointment for Slate?”
She nodded. “Yeah, you sent over a pic.”
“I did. Are you able to do that?”
“We can. Mike over there will be your artist
today.” Eyeing my clean-cut look, only
slightly marred by my three weeks of playoff
beard growth, she asked, “First time?”
Glancing at Cal, I asked, “Is it that
obvious?”
Cal laughed. “Dude, you’re a walking
billboard for the all-American boy.”
“Yeah, well, not all of us are crazy enough
to get our junk pierced,” I shot back.
Raising an eyebrow, he smirked. “Don’t
knock it ’til you try it.”
Shaking my head, I laughed. “Never gonna
happen. A tattoo is enough.”
Seriously, he asked, “You can tell me—is
this like an early mid-life crisis?”
“What did I say about questions?”
“Fine. No questions.” He sighed.
The tatted girl offered, “Just remember, the
fleshier the spot, the less it’ll hurt.”
“Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind,” I replied.
Cal leaned in close to whisper, “Please tell
me I’m not going to have to stare at your ass
for hours.”
Groaning—but inwardly glad we were
working back toward our old, comfortable
rapport—I shook my head. “Unfortunately
for you, no.”
The guy identified as Mike earlier called
over to us that he was ready, and I headed for
his chair, removing my shirt. Cal waggled his
eyebrows suggestively, so I threw the shirt at
his head, eliciting a snicker.
As I took a seat, Mike introduced himself.
“Hey, I’m Mike.”
Reaching my hand out to him, I replied,
“Jaxon.”
Mike shook my hand, continuing, “I’ve got
your stencil ready. You wanted it on your
chest, correct?”
Tapping my right pec, I confirmed, “Right
here.”
Cal uttered, “Bold move, man. Front and
center.” Giving him a look, he threw his
hands up. “What? It was a statement, not a
question.”
“Keep your mouth shut, and you might learn
something.”
Mike cleaned my right pec before applying
some petroleum jelly. Then, he took a piece
of what looked like transfer paper with my
chosen design and placed it face down. When
he pulled it back, the design was fully
displayed, ready to be inked.
Mike asked, “Does it look good? Placement
and sizing?”
Handing me a mirror, I checked it both in
the mirror and by glancing down at my chest.
Turning to Cal, I asked, “What do you think?
Look good?”
Cal’s eyes widened as he took in the design.
I’d sent over a scan of Charlie’s footprints
from the hospital, and they replicated them
for my tattoo, adding her full name of
Charlotte in the script underneath. It was
simple yet meaningful. A piece of my baby
girl near my heart, with me wherever I went,
especially when I was on the road.
“Holy shit,” Cal whispered.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t able to say anything,
and I still technically can’t. This is the most I
can give you.”
“Family stuff,” he said, still stunned.
“Family stuff,” I confirmed.
Remorse filled Cal’s face. “Aw, shit. I’m
sorry, man. I was a real dick to you. If I’d
known what was going on . . .”
“But you couldn’t have. It’s . . .
complicated.”
Cal quickly transitioned from remorse to
panic. “Oh, shit. Did you get a bunny in
trouble? Are you being extorted?” Then he
caught himself. “Damn, no questions. Sorry.”
“No, it’s nothing like that.”
“Phew,” he blew out, visibly relieved.
 “Hopefully, soon I can let you know more,
but for now, my hands are tied.”
“Understood, man. This is huge.” He held
his massive hands wide for emphasis.
“You have no idea.” I chuckled.
Mike asked if I was ready to get started, and
I nodded. Having played hockey my whole
life and sustaining several major injuries over
the years, I’d developed a high pain
tolerance. The prick of the needle inserting
ink under my skin was a mere annoyance.
Cal and I spent the time chatting about
random stuff. I’d been distant and busy the
entire season—not without good reason—but
I was glad we were getting our relationship
back on track.
We might be on separate paths in our
personal lives, but we were teammates for
life. That was a bond that could never be
broken.
OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 27

OceanofPDF.com
 Natalie

THE FIRST SIX WEEKS of Charlie’s life

were a blur. I’d forgotten how exhausting
newborns could be, and I was never more
grateful for the help that Liam and Amy
provided, caring for the older kids.
Regardless of how tired I was, my heart was
so full of love. Everyone was entranced by
Charlie. She became the focus of our lives.
The kids loved her, Amy and Liam adored
her, and Jaxon, oh, she had Jaxon wrapped
around her tiny little finger. Watching him
with her was the highlight of my day. Able to
experience the joy of new parenthood
through his eyes, his love for her drove my
love for him to new heights.
The playoff run was taxing on us all. Jaxon
was far busier than he’d been most of the
season, and we were all fully invested. The
kids’ bedtime evolved from a strict time of
8:30 PM to whenever the second period was
over. I’d never been more stressed out while
watching hockey in my life. Knowing how
badly they wanted to win, I wanted it for
them too. Some games, I was barely able to
breathe.
Round two with New Orleans had gone to
six games, but the Comets pulled off the
series win. That brought them head-to-head
with the Atlanta Aviators, the only team with
a better record than the Comets in our
conference, thus causing us to lose our home-
ice advantage for the series.
The Conference Finals was a big deal. The
Comets were four wins away from playing
for the league championship. This was
everything Jaxon had been working for his
entire life, and I knew how important it was
not just for him, but for his teammates, the
Moreau family, and the city of Hartford.
This series with Atlanta seemed to hinge on
who had the home ice for each game. Atlanta
won the first two at home, putting the
Comets into a two-game hole and leaving no
room for error if they wanted to advance to
the next round. The Comets rallied back to
win the next two games on their home ice,
tying the series at two apiece. Atlanta took
Game 5 at home, so Game 6 in Hartford
became do-or-die. If they lost, the dream was
over for the Comets—at least, until next
season. If they won, they would force a
Game 7 in Atlanta, where it would be
winner-take-all.
While Jaxon was upstairs getting ready to
leave for the game, the kids had returned
home from school. As soon as they’d
dropped their gear, they’d run upstairs to
change into the Comets jerseys Jaxon had
gotten them for Christmas. Amelia and
Jameson knew the importance of tonight’s
game, but Beau simply loved jumping up and
down during games screaming, “Go, Daddy!
Go hockey! Score!”
When we’d brought Charlie home,
explaining to my almost four-year-old son
that Jaxon was her daddy, Beau immediately
began referring to him as Daddy. Jaxon never
faltered, leaning into it, being there for the
little boy who didn’t know his own father. It
was a blessing, to be honest. Jaxon was a
better father to my kids than the man who
biologically held that title.
The three of them were gathered together on
the couch, clad in their Comets jerseys, when
Jaxon made it downstairs, looking handsome
as ever in a navy blue suit and matching tie.
A smile broke out on his face when he saw
the kids, exclaiming, “Well, if it isn’t my
biggest fans! You guys look great!”
Jameson’s bond with Jaxon had grown
significantly since the day Leo had shown
up, and he whined, “I wish we could go.”
Jaxon’s eyes flashed up to mine, and my
heart twisted. I knew he wanted us there, but
I wasn’t ready yet. The backlash of going
public would totally eclipse the Comets and
had the potential to be an unnecessary
distraction for everyone.
Jaxon was a good man, and he covered for
me, fist-bumping Jameson. “I know, buddy,
but it’s a school night. I’m sure there will be
lots of games next season when you can all
come.” He was incredible. He didn’t just
shoulder the load, but he often carried it for
me. We were all so blessed to have him in
our lives.
Amelia hugged him. “Score a goal for me.”
Laughing, Jaxon hugged her back, dropping
a kiss to the top of her head. “I’ll try,
sweetheart, but I can’t make any promises.
It’s not quite as easy as it looks.”
Beau jumped up and down on the couch,
yelling, “Catch me, Daddy!”
This was a game they played, where Beau
jumped up and down while Jaxon reached
out to grab him mid-jump. Jaxon obliged,
grabbing him, and Beau’s sweet giggles filled
the room. Jaxon swung him around before
pulling him close to blow raspberries into his
neck, causing him to squeal even louder.
Setting him down on the ground, he told
him, “Be good for Mommy, okay?”
 Beau bobbed his head up and down in
response. Jaxon made his way over to me,
and I smoothed my hands over the lapels of
his suit jacket. “Looking good, Mr. Slate.”
That crooked smile of his, when trained on
me, made the temperature in the room jump
ten degrees. “Good luck kiss?”
Teasing him, I asked, “Do you really need
luck? Isn’t it more about skill?”
Lowering his head to mine, he whispered
against my mouth, “A little luck never hurts.”
Then his lips were on mine, and I melted into
him. We were so focused on hockey and
Charlie that there hadn’t been much time for
us. There was something to be said for the
non-physical intimacy we shared, but
honestly, the physical part was hot enough to
burn down the world most days.
Pushing against his chest, I broke the kiss,
looking up into his eyes. “Go get ’em, big
guy.”
 Winking, he responded, “Yes, ma’am.”
Jaxon went to the bassinet where Charlie
was sleeping, and I smiled as he squatted to
kiss her head. He’d called me ma’am the first
time we’d met. Never in my wildest dreams
could I imagine that this was where we
would be ten years later. He was everything
I’d always wanted and had been under my
nose this whole time. I may not have been
available, but by some miracle, he was there,
ready and waiting at the exact moment I’d
needed him most.
If he wanted to believe in luck, maybe I was
the lucky one.

My heart was about to explode, my

breathing shallow after witnessing the
Comets win in overtime to force a Game 7 in
the Conference Finals of the playoffs. The
stakes were at an all-time high as overtime
was sudden death—the first to score a goal
won. Nothing beat the adrenaline rush of
celebrating a win as the puck hit the back of
the net versus watching the clock tick down.
Seeing the bench clear to celebrate always
gave me goosebumps.
Charlie had thankfully slept through the
high-stress extra time but was now beginning
to whimper, ready for a late-night feeding
before going down for the night. I took a few
deep breaths to settle my heart rate before
picking her up out of the swing and sitting
down to nurse.
Maybe she’d been Jaxon’s lucky charm
tonight. Dressing her in her custom Comets
jersey, I’d sent a pic to him about an hour
before puck drop. He’d given the picture a
love reaction, indicating that he’d seen it
before taking the ice tonight. Jaxon had
played an incredible game, netting two
assists and the tying goal that had forced
overtime.
Amy settled on the couch beside me and
breathed out, “I still can’t believe they pulled
that off.”
Nervous laughter escaped my lips. “I’m
going to sleep well tonight.”
We relaxed into companionable silence as
the screen shifted from the commentators’
final thoughts on the game to the post-game
locker room interviews. My breath caught as
the giant screen filled with an image of Jaxon
—freshly showered with damp hair, shirtless.
Usually, he was still in his skintight base
layer for these types of interviews.
If I had to choose, he would always be
shirtless. The other girls could eat their hearts
out. He was all mine.
Amy’s voice brought me out of my
possessive haze, and I caught her pointing at
the screen from my peripheral vision. “What
is that?”
Turning to her instead of where she pointed,
I asked, “What is what?” When she hesitated
a moment too long, I felt the hairs on the
back of my neck rise. Something was wrong,
I could sense it.
I asked more insistently, “What, Amy?”
“On his chest.”
Snapping my head toward the screen, that’s
when I saw it. What looked like baby
footprints were tattooed on his chest, and
something too small to see was written
underneath.
I shook my head. No, it couldn’t be.
Amy kept her voice calm. “Did you know
about that?”
Gesturing to the baby beginning to fall
asleep as she fed, I snapped at her, annoyed,
“I’ve been a little busy, Ames.”
 Then the words being said reached me from
the TV. That one female reporter who was
always a little too flirty in the locker room
asked him, “Can we ask about the tattoo?”
The camera zoomed in, and now there was
no denying it. It was an exact copy of
Charlie’s footprints, with her name written in
script right below. I froze, startling Charlie to
stop eating and cry. I bounced her, shushing
her, mentally on the edge of my seat, waiting
to hear what his response would be.
My heart stopped when he smiled,
addressing the aggressive reporter. “It’s for
my daughter.”
Not realizing I’d been holding my breath
until my vision began to blacken at the edges,
I breathed out, “Oh my God.”
Amy reached over. “Give me the baby.”
I didn’t even feel her take Charlie into her
own arms as I stared at the screen, numb
once again. How could he sit there, smiling,
when he’d just sent my world crashing
down? He’d promised we could move at my
pace, going public with the news of our
daughter only when I was ready. What other
promises had he broken?
My mind was reeling. Only eight hours ago,
we were all here, happier than we’d ever
been, a family. Now, everything had changed.
The truth hit me that I was right from the
start—I was the only one who could be
counted on to put my family first.
It was up to me, and me alone, to protect my
children. I was such a fool. I’d trusted him
against my better judgment. I’d known better,
but he’d charmed me into letting my guard
down long enough to fall in love with him.
Hell, I still loved him, but none of that
mattered now. My focus reverted to my main
objective—protecting my kids.
Jaxon was stronger than me, both mentally
and physically. I knew deep down he would
never lay his hands on me, but he wouldn’t
willingly walk away from what we’d built
together these past few months. If given the
chance, Jaxon would sweet talk me into
seeing that this wasn’t the end of the world.
Of course, he would—it wasn’t for him. I had
much more at stake.
He’d seen how rattled I’d been at the mere
threat of exposure from Leo months ago, and
now he was the one to do it.
There was only one way left to protect my
family. I had to push him away. I already
knew it would shatter my heart, but my
children were worth it.

Sitting in the living room, a single lamp lit

next to my chair, I heard when Jaxon walked
in less than an hour later. I wouldn’t have
heard him if I hadn’t been waiting up. He’d
had plenty of practice coming in quietly after
games.
Silent and still, I didn’t say a word as I
heard him climb the stairs, assuming I was in
bed. It didn’t take long for him to realize I
wasn’t in there with a sleeping Charlie.
Coming down the back steps toward where I
sat, I heard him whisper, “Nat? Is that you
down there?”
I remained silent. I was still processing his
blatant betrayal, but time was up. Watching
as his feet hit the landing of the stairs, I
closed my eyes for a second, taking a deep
breath. They snapped open when I heard him
say softly, “Hey, there you are.”
The sight of Jaxon, clad in his navy suit
pants and white button-up shirt open at the
neck, broke my heart all over again. My heart
hurt with the knowledge that no matter how
much I loved him, it wasn’t enough, and I
would have to break his heart to get him to
walk away.
There was no doubt in my mind I would
mourn the life I could’ve had with this
seemingly dependable man for the rest of my
life.
Slowly, I stood on unsteady legs.
You can do this. Just think about the kids.
Hardening my heart, I calmly accused,
“How could you?”
Understanding dawned in Jaxon’s eyes, and
he tried to come closer, but I put up my
hands, effectively stopping him in his tracks.
Running a hand through his dark hair, he
began to explain, “Nat . . . I—”
I cut him off, “How could you be so
careless? You promised me that we would go
at my pace. Go public only when I was
ready.”
He emitted a sigh. “I’m sorry. We have to
leave tomorrow, and taking a shower before
the press meant I could get home sooner. I
just wanted to be home with you.”
Don’t cry. Don’t cry.
“You couldn’t even warn me that you had
our daughter’s name and footprints tattooed
on your chest?”
“I wanted a piece of her with me wherever I
went. You know how often I travel.”
A tiny piece of my heart melted, but then I
threw up the protective walls around it,
remembering the consequences his actions
would have for my family. My voice was
small as I whispered, “You’ve ruined
everything.”
Jaxon shoved his hands into his pockets. I
knew he wanted to reach out for me—to pull
me close into his strong embrace—but held
himself in check, respecting the boundary I’d
set. It was almost enough for me to falter. I’d
never known a man to exhibit restraint like
this.
 Then he spoke, “It’ll be all right. No one
needs to know right now that you’re her
mother.” The way he brushed it off hardened
my resolve.
A scoff slipped past my lips. “How can you
be so naïve? They know her first name,
thanks to you. Anyone with a computer can
pull up her birth record with both of our
names attached!”
He froze. “I didn’t even think about that.”
“That’s because you weren’t thinking!”
Remorse filled Jaxon’s face. “Baby, I made
a mistake.”
“One that will cost us everything.”
Taking a step forward, he held out a hand to
me. “We can figure this out. Let’s go
upstairs, get a good night’s sleep, and then in
the morning, we can make a plan on how to
get ahead of this. You’re tired.”
Jaw clenched, I forced out, “Don’t treat me
like a child. This isn’t going to magically
disappear in the morning.”
Dropping his outstretched hand, Jaxon
sighed. “You’re twisting my words.”
“I don’t think I am. I think you knew
exactly what you were doing tonight.”
“What are you talking about, Natalie? I
messed up. I said I was sorry. I’m here,
willing and ready to find a solution.”
“Really? Finding a solution was getting a
tattoo that practically broadcasts our
daughter’s existence to the world and then
hiding it from me?”
“I wasn’t hiding anything.” God, the way
he'd said that, he truly believed it.
I crossed my arms. “Then why didn’t you
tell me about it? It’s not like a cut or a bruise
you forgot about. You went out and had that
done with intent. Then you didn’t tell me,
knowing full well I wouldn’t see it because
we’re not having sex at the moment.”
 His jaw twitched, but he kept his tone calm,
rational. “I live here, Natalie. I shower here. I
change here. At any point in time, you could
have seen it. I’m actually more surprised that
you didn’t notice it.”
“Don’t try to turn this around on me.”
Running both hands through his hair, I could
tell he was frustrated that I was talking him
in circles. Frustration was the first step. Now,
I needed to push him to anger. Going in for
the kill, I leveled him with a glare, my voice
steady. “I think you did it on purpose.”
“Did what on purpose?”
“Exposed our private life.”
“Come on, Natalie. I told you. I wasn’t
thinking. It was an honest mistake.”
Exasperation filled his voice.
“No. You couldn’t wait a few more weeks.
You had to be the center of attention,” I
sneered.
 “What are you talking about? I’ve kept this
quiet from the start. I didn’t even tell my own
brother. Doesn’t that tell you how highly I
value your wishes?” My heart twisted as he
pleaded his case.
I shook my head. “No, your actions tonight
show me that you wanted absolute control
over when and how the world found out
about Charlie. About us.”
“Natalie, we love each other.”
“It’s not enough.” It was a miracle I’d kept
my voice from shaking.
His control was beginning to fray, and I was
pushing him toward the breaking point,
exactly as I’d intended. Jaxon paused for a
minute before he fired back, “Maybe I was a
little tired of being your dirty little secret.
Why are you so ashamed to be with me?”
There it is.
“I have four children now, and it’s my job to
protect them! Now, everyone will think I’m a
whore who can’t keep her legs closed when it
comes to a fat bank account. All anyone will
see is a woman who gets her claws into a rich
and famous man so she can cash in on child
support. The first time could be brushed off,
but the second is where it becomes viewed as
a pattern.”
Jaxon threw his arms wide. “So, what, are
we supposed to keep our relationship—our
daughter—a secret forever? At some point,
the truth was going to come out. I hate to
break it to you, Natalie, because you’ve been
holed up here for months, but nobody cares.
Why should you?”
The words hit me, and I flinched as if I’d
been physically struck. He didn’t know me at
all. He’d seen and heard about the physical
and mental toll that living with every move
being monitored and criticized had taken on
me. I was living with PTSD from past
storylines. God, how could I have been so
stupid?
This is what you wanted. You pushed him
too far. You knew there’d be consequences.
It didn’t matter that I could see the shock on
his face after he’d uttered those words—they
cracked my heart wide open.
Jaxon rubbed his dark beard. “I didn’t—”
Not letting him finish, I cut him off, my
voice deadly calm. “Get out.”
Jaxon shook his head. “No. We need to talk
this out. Please, Nat.”
“I said get out of my house. Now.”
Watching the shift happen behind his
whiskey eyes, even in the dim lighting, I
knew I’d hurt him deeply.
Guess that makes two of us. Welcome to the
party.
“This was always how it was going to end,
wasn’t it?” he accused. “With you pushing
me away. Is this how you did it with Leo?”
 Within an instant, I switched from soul-
crushing sadness to pure rage. But instead of
lashing out, I tilted my head, calling out,
“Liam!”
Jaxon put his hands up. “No, I’ll go. You
can call off your guard dog.”
Feeling the need to drive home the finality
of my demand, I added, “Leave your keys.”
He paused halfway to the door, turning to
face me. “What about my daughter? Or was
this your plan all along? You had the parental
rights termination papers ready to sign
months ago, but I promised I’d never take her
from you. Maybe I should have been the one
worried about having her taken from me. You
do have a track record, after all.”
Leveling him with a glare, I forced out
through clenched teeth, “How long have you
been holding onto that? All this time spent
getting me to trust you when you never
trusted me. You can reach out to Amy or
Liam about Charlie. You and I are done, but I
won’t keep you from our daughter so long as
you want to be a part of her life.”
As he turned and walked the rest of the way
to the door, I heard as he muttered under his
breath, “Unbelievable.”
The sound of his keys hitting the front
hallway table before the door clicked closed
shattered me. Even with my legs feeling like
jelly, I made my way over and turned the
deadbolt. Placing my back against the door,
hugging my arms to my body, I slid down
until my butt hit the floor. The tears burning
behind my eyes for hours finally broke free,
my body shaking as uncontrollable sobs
racked my body.
I’d purposely pushed him too far, but it
crushed me that he hadn’t fought harder to
stay. He’d walked away easily enough that I
knew he wouldn’t come back. That was the
moment I knew with certainty that I would
never recover from this loss.
There would always be a Jaxon-sized hole
in my heart.

OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 28

OceanofPDF.com
 Jaxon

“FUCK!” I SHOUTED AS soon as I opened

the door to my dark, empty house.
I fucking knew she was going to find a way
to push me away, but I’d been so blinded by
our love that I’d ignored that nagging thought
every time it had popped into my mind.
Never could I have predicted she would push
me past my breaking point to get me to say
things I didn’t mean. Words I knew I couldn’t
take back now echoed in my brain.
I hate to break it to you, Natalie, because
you’ve been holed up here for months, but
nobody cares.
Had I actually said that? I’d been frustrated,
and she’d twisted my words around so I
couldn’t get my point across—that I’d
messed up, and I was sorry. Then I saw my
life flash before my eyes when she’d told me
to leave and not return. Fear blinded me at
the thought of losing Charlie, and I’d
snapped, comparing our relationship to the
one she’d had with her ex.
She’d pushed me, but I was the one who
broke.
Nothing could mask the anger I had with
myself. I was fooling myself if I didn’t know
that getting this tattoo would get me into
trouble. I just had no idea how much it would
cost me. A moment of carelessness, and my
life went up in flames faster than I could
blink.
I wasn’t thinking when I’d showered before
the press entered the locker room.
I wasn’t thinking when I didn’t throw a shirt
over my bare chest.
I wasn’t thinking when I’d assumed that a
vague response about the tat being for my
daughter couldn’t be traced back to Natalie.
No matter her response, this was my fault. I
mentally retraced my steps, from talking
about my daughter, to not wearing a shirt, to
not telling Natalie about the tattoo, to finally,
the conclusion that getting the tattoo was the
biggest mistake of them all. If I had waited,
none of this would have happened. No tattoo,
and I’d be next door right now, my family
still intact.
“Fuck!” I yelled out again, this time acting
on my anger and punching the wall, my fist
going right through the drywall, leaving a
gaping hole. My right fist throbbed, the
knuckles scraped and bleeding lightly when I
pulled it back out of the hole in the wall. The
rational part of my brain told me that I
needed to ice it—so it didn’t swell and impair
my ability to play in Game 7—but the
emotional side said fuck it. I wanted to feel
the pain of blowing up my life.
Walking into the kitchen, I poured a tall
glass of scotch, which only served to remind
me of Natalie and that fateful day that she’d
shown up on my doorstep. Throwing it back,
I let the liquor burn my throat before going to
bed, praying I would wake up to find that this
night had just been a bad dream.

My legs and lungs burned as I pushed

myself to the limit, shift after shift on the ice.
My body was there, running on autopilot, but
my heart wasn’t in the game. If we lost the
game, the worst that would happen was that
the season would be over.
I’d already lost everything that mattered to
me. This was nothing in comparison.
Barely functional, going through the
motions—relying purely on muscle memory
—everyone could tell. Cal yelled from the
defense’s side of the bench, “Jaxon! You
gotta help out on the backcheck, man. I’m
not always gonna be able to save your ass if
you keep getting stripped like that.”
In my current mental state, I didn’t trust
myself not to say something I would regret to
my teammate and best friend, so I just
nodded. Coach leaned in to talk low to my
ear, “You need a break?”
“No.” My voice was devoid of all emotion.
That wasn’t enough for Coach. “Fine, but if
you continue to be a liability out there, I’m
going to bench you.”
 “Whatever.”
For the first time in my career, I didn’t care.
I didn’t care if I sat the rest of the game. I
didn’t care if we lost. I didn’t care if this was
the last game of my career. Hockey no longer
defined who I was. It was a job and nothing
more. If it were gone tomorrow, I would
replace it with another job.
What I couldn’t replace in my life was
Natalie.
“Slate’s line out on the ice!” I heard Coach
shout from behind me.
Hopping the boards, I went out with Benji
on my right and Levi on my left. Catching
the puck on my stick, I skated hard toward
the Atlanta goalie before taking a bad angle
shot that went wide, ricocheting hard off the
boards, creating a rush going the other way.
Before I knew it, the puck was in the back of
our net. Our goaltender, Reed, slammed his
goalie stick against the post, breaking it in
half, punctuating his frustration.
Levi bumped me hard. “Hey, hotshot. I was
wide fucking open.”
“Fuck off, rookie.” I skated back to the
bench, where a red-faced Coach waited for
me.
Here we go.
“Slate! You’re done!” he screamed.
Like I cared anymore. Without a word, I sat
down on the bench, watching the rest of the
third period play out. The final score was
Atlanta Aviators 1, Connecticut Comets 0.
My mistake leading to a goal the other way
was the only goal in the entire game. I felt
nothing as I watched the Atlanta bench clear
to celebrate with their goalie as the buzzer
sounded.
Tradition dictated that every playoff series
ended with a handshake line between the
teams at center ice—the ultimate show of
sportsmanship. Taking my place at the front
of the line as the team’s captain, I
congratulated those on the other side,
receiving words of encouragement from
veterans on the opposing team in return.
When a young player for Atlanta thanked me
for the assist, I remained expressionless,
letting the jab slide.
Cal skated in line behind me, and when I
didn’t respond, he nudged me. “What the hell
is wrong with you, man? You were on fire
last game, but today it’s like you fucking hate
the game and are just collecting a paycheck.”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I barked
back. Sensing the tone, he dropped it.
Either everyone was pissed at me for my
costly mistake, or I was giving off major
don’t-fuck-with-me vibes, because not a
single teammate bothered to talk to me for
the rest of the night, including on our three-
hour flight back to Hartford.
 This was the new theme of my life,
apparently. I fuck up, and everyone hates me
for it. Might as well get used to being alone.

Despite landing at 2 AM, sleep eluded me

when I got home. I just sat in my living
room, staring out the window toward
Natalie’s house, waiting for daybreak. As
soon as the sun peeked above the eastern
horizon, I grabbed my phone.

Jaxon: I’m home. I’d like to see my

daughter today.

Holding my breath, I prayed that Natalie

wouldn’t punish me by withholding our
daughter, regardless of what she’d said the
night she’d kicked me out. She was angry
with me—correction, she was downright
pissed with me—so there was no telling what
she might do.
I wanted to believe that she wasn’t so mad
that she’d keep me from Charlie, but there
was some truth behind the words she’d
provoked from my mouth that night—she
had cut and run in the middle of the night
with her kids once before.
Gripping my phone tightly in my hand, I felt
the sweat gathering on the back of my neck
the longer I waited for a response from Amy.
Were they even still next door?
Had they left, knowing I was out of town?
Was my daughter gone forever?
My phone finally buzzed, and the words
blurred as I tried to read them with how
badly my hand was shaking.

Amy: She’s eating right now. I can bring her

over in a bit. You around all day?
 Jaxon: You haven’t heard? I’m out of a job
til September.

Amy: Sorry, we didn’t watch.

That crushing blow cemented where we

stood. She was so done with me that she
hadn’t even watched my game. Just like that,
she’d completely cut me out of her life. Was I
going to be co-parenting Charlie with Amy as
a proxy for Natalie for the next eighteen
years?
You did this to yourself. Now, you suffer.
While I sat and waited for an audience with
my daughter, I realized she wasn’t the only
one I’d missed desperately these past
seventy-two hours. I’d missed Amelia’s
sweet smile, Jameson’s excitement, and
Beau’s giggles.
Above all, I’d missed their mother. She’d lit
up my life during these past few months
when she’d truly been mine.
Having had a taste of life at Natalie’s side
and then losing it was worse than never
knowing what it was like at all.
Hearing the light knock on the door, I ran to
open it. Eager to hold my daughter after a
hellish three days, I was not expecting to see
Liam on the other side of the door. At least he
had a stroller, indicating he’d brought Charlie
with him.
Holding open the door, I allowed him entry
as he rolled the stroller past the threshold.
Closing the door behind him, I muttered, “I
was expecting Amy.”
Parking the stroller, he looked over his
shoulder. “Yeah, well, you and I need to
talk.”
Sarcasm colored my words. “Oh, goodie.”
Brushing past where he stood in my
entryway, I reached into the stroller and
pulled Charlie close to my chest, bouncing
her in my arms. Holding her soft weight was
like a balm for my battered soul, but my
heart was still just as broken.
“I love you, sweet girl,” I whispered against
the top of her head.
Liam eyed the hole I’d left in the wall, one
corner of his mouth quirking up.
“Redecorating?”
“Something like that.” Walking further into
the house, I made my way to the couch,
ready to make up for lost time with Charlie.
Not sparing another glance at Liam, I added,
“I’m not really in the mood for a lecture, so if
that’s what you’re here for, I’m not
interested.”
He followed me into the living room, sitting
in the armchair, assessing me. “You look like
shit.”
“Jesus, Liam. What do you want? To gloat?
Because if that’s the case, you can see
yourself out. I just want to sit here and hold
the only piece of Natalie I have left.”
“You try reaching out to her?”
I scoffed. “She made it clear when she
kicked me out that she was done with me.
I’m not a glutton for punishment.”
Pausing for a minute, Liam replied, “You’re
an idiot.”
“Excuse me?”
“I said you’re an idiot.”
Annoyed now, I snapped, “I’m not deaf. I
heard what you said. I’m just wondering if
you’d care to elaborate on that?”
“Do you think you’re going to win her back
by sitting over here licking your wounds?”
I glared at him. “What else am I supposed to
do? She told me to leave and not come back.
She didn’t care what I had to say. I made a
huge mistake and don’t have a leg to stand
on.”
 “Looking at you and having been with her
these past three days, she’s just as miserable
as you are.”
My heart squeezed, a tiny seed of hope
taking root deep inside. “She’s miserable?”
Leaning forward on his knees, Liam was
direct. “Look, I’ve never been your biggest
fan, but part of that falls on me. I viewed you
as a threat because it was always my job to
play the role of Natalie’s protector. When you
showed up, it was hard to swallow that I was
becoming more of a background character in
her life. After some internal reflection, I
realized that she would never need me the
same way she needs you. I was merely a
placeholder.”
Huffing, I countered, “Well, looks like you
got what you wanted. She doesn’t want me.”
“Shut up and let me finish.” Liam looked
skyward before continuing, “I’ve seen what
you bring to the table. You made her happy.
The Natalie I knew from long ago was
suddenly back in my life. She was present for
her kids. She started taking care of herself
again, and she was glowing. You have no
idea how much I’ve missed the sound of her
laughter. You did that.”
Looking down at Charlie in my arms, I
smiled. “Her laughter is the first thing that
drew me to her. I heard that sound, and I had
to know where it was coming from. Then I
saw her, and her smile sealed the deal.”
Liam continued, “Beyond that, she began to
stand on her own two feet, finding an inner
strength that none of us knew she possessed.
You made her a stronger person. Leo tore her
down, but you built her up.”
“I’ve loved watching her find herself.” A
small smile crept onto my face, even through
the gut-wrenching pain.
“The bottom line, Jaxon, is that I thought
my brother broke her with his manipulation
and emotional abuse tactics, but what you did
was worse. You shattered her heart.”
Way to twist the knife, Liam.
“You love her.” It was a statement, not a
question.
My eyes snapped to his. “You know I do. I
always have.”
“Then you have to show her.”
Frustrated, I blew out a breath. “How? She
won’t even talk to me.”
“Talking to her is useless right now. You
didn’t ruin this with your words, did you?”
Rubbing the spot on my chest where the
tattoo that ruined everything was
permanently situated under my shirt, I shook
my head. “No.”
“Natalie has been fed so many lies over the
years that words are meaningless. Actions
will always trump words with her.”
“Actions,” I repeated.
 “She’s withdrawn to try and protect herself.
She says it’s for the kids, but she was hurt so
badly by my jackass brother that she’s afraid
it will happen again.”
“So, she’s pushing me away. With good
reason. I did fuck up,” I admitted.
“Yeah, you did, but you’ve been a persistent
motherfucker throughout all of this, so don’t
tell me you’re just going to let her go now.”
Trying to think of something—anything—I
could do to show her how much I loved her, I
remembered what Amy had told me when
she’d come here wanting to help me win
Natalie over.
Nat is a hopeless romantic.
What would one of her fictional male
characters do if they’d mucked things up this
badly?
That’s when it hit me.
“I need to make a grand gesture.”
 Liam sat back in his chair. “See? I knew you
were smarter than you looked.”
A grand gesture.
What could I possibly do to show Natalie
that I was sorry—that I’d meant every
promise I’d made—but simply was human
and had made a mistake? What was she most
afraid of?
Clear as day, I could picture her here, on
this couch, with parental termination papers
in an envelope, ready for me to sign. How
she was shaking in the kitchen just thinking
about someone seeing her in my house when
my food had been delivered.
She wasn’t afraid of people knowing about
us being together. She was scared of losing
her kids.
I knew exactly what I needed to do.

OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 29

OceanofPDF.com
 Natalie

ONE WEEK. THE WORST week of my life,

and I’d had some pretty bad ones over the
years.
For seven days, I’d sat and nursed my
broken heart.
As soon as I’d sent the kids to school each
day, I’d crawled into bed and cried—the
same routine every day—making sure to be
up and about by the time they got home.
They’d lost Jaxon in their daily life and
couldn’t afford to lose me, too.
Watching as Liam and Amy took turns
taking Charlie next door for time with her
father, I’d forced exactly what I hadn’t
wanted—two separate families. It had
become a necessary sacrifice to shield them
all.
If it was the right thing to do, why didn’t I
feel better about it?
Barely functioning, I was a hollow shell.
Physically present, my mind was elsewhere,
replaying the events of the night I’d kicked
Jaxon out of my life for good. Liam tried in
vain to get me to eat—even if just for
Charlie.
I hardly cared that my milk was drying up.
Resorting to pumping so she could spend
time with her father, each session produced
less.
 Her father.
God, I finally thought I’d found the perfect
man to give my kids a real family. And what
did I go and do? Shove him out the door.
Each day I questioned if I’d made the right
choice. Especially when Beau cried, begging
to go next door to see his daddy, not
understanding why Charlie could go but he
couldn’t.
I could see the questions in Amy’s eyes as I
struggled, but she didn’t push. She knew my
history well enough to know that I could be
stubborn when protecting myself and the
kids.
What if I said I was sorry?
No.
I’d forced Jaxon to say things he couldn’t
take back and I couldn’t unhear. It didn’t
matter if I was sorry for pushing him—he’d
said them. They were there in the back of his
mind, ready to be fired off when provoked.
 That also didn’t change the fact that he’d
stayed away.
The words he’d said countless times
haunted me in my loneliness.
I’ll always come back.
Another empty promise, it would seem. The
Comets were eliminated from the playoffs
less than forty-eight hours after I’d kicked
him out. Jaxon was done playing for the next
few months and right next door. He had let
me down, just like almost everyone else in
my life.
Leaving Leo had given me strength, but
pushing Jaxon away had crippled me. A huge
piece of my heart was missing. He’d taken it
with him when he’d walked out that door. I
finally understood what it was supposed to
feel like when you ended a relationship. It
hurt like hell.
Hearing the doorbell, I held my breath.
Could it be Jaxon? Had he finally come back
like he promised he always would? Shaking
in anticipation, I sat in the living room while
Charlie was sleeping in the swing nearby.
Amy’s voice called down the front hallway,
“Nat, you have a visitor.”
My voice trembled. “I’m in the living
room.”
Amy walked into the living room, where I
sat, and my heart fractured yet another
degree when, instead of Jaxon, it was his
mother who walked in behind her. Blinking
back the disappointed tears that threatened to
spill over, I stood, acknowledging her. “Mrs.
Slate.”
Waving a hand, she responded, “Mrs. Slate
is my mother-in-law. It’s Shannon, sweetie.”
I nodded. “Shannon. Of course. If you’re
looking for Jaxon, I’m afraid he’s not here.”
God, it hurt to say his name out loud.
Walking forward slowly, Shannon made her
way closer to me. Amy glanced at me,
gauging if I was okay, and when I nodded in
response, she left us alone.
Minding my manners, I gestured toward the
couch. “Would you care to sit, Shannon? Can
I get you something to drink?”
She took a seat on the couch. “Nothing for
me.” Patting the spot beside her, she invited,
“Join me.”
Well, this is awkward.
Sinking back down onto the couch beside
her, I wrung my hands. What did you say to
the mother of the man whose heart you’d
broken? What did she want from me? Had he
sent her?
Clearing her throat, Shannon began, “I
heard that you and Jaxon had a little
disagreement.”
Unable to stop the scoff that slipped from
my mouth, I muttered, “Is that what he’s
calling it?”
 “Not in so many words. Actually, he told me
it was none of my business,” she replied.
“With all due respect, Shannon, I don’t want
to talk about it either. It’s a personal matter.”
Smiling, she took my hand. “Of course. I
didn’t come here for him. I came here for
you.”
The shock of that knocked my world off
kilter.
She was here for me?
She was Jaxon’s mom, not mine.
I was just some woman he’d knocked up
and who had then stomped on his heart.
Trying to find the words, all I managed was,
“Um . . .”
Squeezing my hand, she continued, “I’m
here for you. If you need someone to watch
Charlie while you take a nap, I’m here. If you
need me to whip up a week’s worth of
dinners so that you don’t have to worry about
it, consider it done.”
 There had to be a catch. There’s always a
catch.
“But why?” I asked, stunned.
Shannon didn’t hesitate. “Above all, I’m a
mom, and moms take care of their families.
No matter what happens between you and
Jaxon, you and Charlie are my family now.
You will fall under my protection as a mom
for as long as I’m living. Nothing can change
that.”
A mom.
She wanted to be my mom.
I’d become a mom so young myself.
I was the one who had always taken care of
everyone else.
I’d put my children’s well-being before my
own wants and needs.
Shannon was showing me unconditional
love—something I’d never known from my
own parents. I’d been a pawn in their social
games, and here was Jaxon’s mom, taking me
in, even after I’d broken her son’s heart. The
weight of that hit me like a ton of bricks, and
I couldn’t contain the whimper that broke
free before tears flooded my eyes.
Gathering me in her arms, Shannon held me
close, stroking my hair the way a mom would
to comfort their child. The same way I’d
comforted my own children over the years.
This was what I’d needed for the last ten
years. I’d needed a mom, someone to look
out for me with no agenda of their own, who
was happy if I was happy. Ready and waiting
on the sidelines for when they were needed.
When I had no more tears left, I pulled
back, wiping at my swollen, red eyes. “I’m
sorry.”
She looked at me with understanding,
handing me a tissue. “Sweetie, there’s
nothing to be sorry about. Life is
complicated. There are no right answers. You
do the best that you can in the moment and
hope for the best.”
Doubt crept into my mind. “What if I’ve
made a mistake?”
“You want my advice?”
“Desperately,” I begged.
“As someone who’s been married for thirty-
five years, let me offer you this. No
relationship is without its ups and downs.
There are days when I want to strangle
Michael, and he feels the same about me.
You find a way to work through it because
you love each other.”
“We crossed a line. I’m not sure it can be
uncrossed.”
“Well, if that’s the case, you find a way to
move forward. Even if that’s separately. You
have to do what makes you happy and no one
else.”
“You’re really here for me? No matter
what?” I asked in disbelief.
 “Absolutely. Even moms need a mom
sometimes.” She tucked a strand of hair
behind my ear.
“Thank you, Shannon. It means more to me
than you will ever know.”
“Of course, us girls have to stick together,”
she said with a wink.
Shannon spent some time cuddling Charlie
while I took a shower, and then she made
dinner for us before she left. When she was
gone, I took some time to reflect on our
interaction this afternoon. Shannon was
selfless, putting my well-being first, even if
that meant I wasn’t with her son.
Maybe that was the silver lining. I’d given
up Jaxon, but I gained a mom. Something
small to comfort me after I’d gone and blown
up my life.
 It had been two weeks.
Two weeks, and I was still living in this self-
inflicted purgatory without Jaxon in my life.
The reality was sinking in that maybe this
was what the rest of my life would feel like,
and the sooner I picked myself back up off
the ground, the better it would be for all of
us.
But I wasn’t ready to do that yet, fully
prepared to stew in my misery a while longer.
Knock knock.
Liam had taken Charlie next door, Amy was
at work, and the kids were at school, so there
was no one else home to answer the door.
Padding barefoot to the door, still in my
pajamas, I no longer cared what anyone
might think of my unkempt appearance.
The irony of that was not lost on me. I’d lost
the man I loved because I’d cared more about
what others thought of me, and now that he
was gone, it didn’t matter.
 I opened the door, and my heart stopped.
Almost as if I’d dreamed him into reality,
there stood Jaxon.
He came back.
No.
Don’t get your hopes up.
Don’t you dare.
I was so weary from the past two weeks that
I leaned against the doorframe, taking my
time soaking in the gorgeous man before me.
His face was clean-shaven for the first time
since before Charlie was born, and I’d
forgotten how truly handsome his face was.
Wearing a plain white T-shirt and khaki
shorts, he looked so good, his body filling
out his clothes so well, that it took little to no
imagination to see how sculpted he was
underneath.
It was difficult to believe that only two
weeks ago, I’d been able to call him mine.
He would probably still be mine if I wasn’t
so damn stubborn. But he was here now. That
had to mean something, right? I’d learned
long ago that hope was a useless emotion, so
I shoved it down deep when it began to rise
within me.
My voice sounded strangled, even to my
own ears. “What do you want, Jaxon?”
Unable to read the emotion in his eyes, it
was as if the weeks apart had killed the
connection we’d once had. Jaxon shoved one
hand into his pocket, asking, “Can I come
in?”
God, there was nothing I wanted more, but I
was still so hurt. I hugged myself tight
against the fresh wave of pain, shaking my
head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“All right.” He nodded, bringing forth a
manilla envelope. “I needed to give this to
you. It’s important.”
Hesitating, I reached out to take it. Opening
the metal clasp and pulling out the papers
inside, bile rose in my throat as I read the
header—Child Custody Agreement for
Charlotte Rose Slate.
I had no words.
If losing Jaxon had broken me, losing
Charlie—the one thing he’d promised he
would never do—would kill me. Looking up
at him, I tried to say the words but kept
opening my mouth and closing it, never fully
forming the thought I wanted to convey.
That’s when I realized he was here. Alone.
Pushing past him, I ran out onto the circular
driveway, regardless of my lack of footwear.
I scanned left and right before whipping
around, accusing him, “Where is she?” Then
panic set in. “Where is she?!”
Jaxon was calm. Of course, he was. He’d
fooled me all over again. He reached an arm
out to me, but I backed away. His tone was
soft. “Nat, let’s go in the house.”
 Shaking my head, my mind raced with the
possibilities. “No! You tell me where my
daughter is. Right. Now!”
“She’s asleep. Next door. With Liam.”
My eyes went wide. “With Liam!”
“She’s safe.”
“If you think you can just waltz over here
after having stolen my daughter from me,
you’ve got another thing coming. I’ll spend
every single penny I have fighting you in
court.”
Jaxon looked at me with a confused look
before insisting, “Natalie. Read. The.
Papers.”
“I don’t need to read them! I’ve got
identical copies in triplicate in my safe!” I
screamed.
“You can add these to those.”
This was beginning to feel like an out-of-
body experience, and my voice jumped a few
octaves. “Are you out of your fucking mind?
There’s no way I’ll accept this as is!” He
began to chuckle, and I saw red. “Are you
laughing?”
Putting his hands up, Jaxon tried again. “I’m
just saying, you might want to read the
papers before you go silent-dog-whistle on
me. Merely a suggestion.”
Narrowing my eyes in distrust, I glared at
him, but something deep down forced me to
pull the papers all the way out of the
envelope. I scanned the legal jargon, and
that’s when I saw it—Full legal custody shall
be awarded to the mother, Natalie
Remington.
I read it over three times, making sure I
wasn’t imagining those words.
My eyes burned with unshed tears, and I
begged them not to fall. No, I would not cry
in front of him as I grieved the loss for my
daughter. She’d be just like her older siblings
without a full-time dad. He’d given up on
her, the same way he’d given up on us. Not
that I’d give him much of a choice. I would
have to be enough for her, for all of them.
Nodding, my eyes were cast downward, not
trusting my emotions if I looked at him
directly. “I understand.”
Jaxon tipped my chin up carefully so that I
was staring right into his gorgeous brown
eyes. “Do you?”
“Yes. You tried the dad thing, but it wasn’t
for you. That’s okay. It’s better to make a
clean break now before she remembers you.”
He cocked his head. “I’m not going
anywhere.”
“Then why—why did you do this?”
He smiled. “Nat, I made a promise to you.
That I’d never take her from you. I keep my
promises. Always. I want to be a part of
Charlie’s life, but you will always have the
power to set the terms. I trust you. I’ve seen
how you’d put your own life on the line for
your kids. How could I not want that for our
daughter?”
One word stood out among the rest. “You
trust me? After everything?”
Jaxon pulled me into his arms, gently at
first. When I didn’t immediately draw back,
he tightened his hold. My mind raced, but I
was frozen to the spot. In such close
proximity, I could smell his intoxicating
scent. The one I’d found myself shamelessly
sniffing from Charlie’s clothes when she
came home from his house each day.
Feeling his hand on my cheek, I closed my
eyes, leaning into his touch as he whispered,
“I will always trust you.”
Opening my eyes, I searched Jaxon’s.
Shining through them was hope—the one
thing I’d tamped down inside of myself for
years. I would always have emotional scars,
but he’d been patient with me and helped
heal the wounds they’d stemmed from.
 Living without him for two weeks, they’d
been the worst couple of weeks of my entire
life. Worst-case scenario, I knew I could live
without him. I would survive, but I’d never
truly be living the way I had been when he
was by my side.
I swallowed, my voice thick with emotion.
“I’m sorry you lost the game.”
His other hand joined the first, both now
cupping my face. “Don’t you get it? I don’t
care about the game.”
“You don’t? But you love it.”
“Baby, I love you more. You, and Charlie,
Amelia, Jameson, and Beau. All five of you
are my world. I choose you. Every time.”
Testing the words on my tongue, I asked,
“You choose me?”
Jaxon smiled. “I knew the first time I saw
you that my world was forever changed. I
remember thinking I would do just about
anything to see your smile, hear your laugh.
You were real when so much of my world
was artificial. Back then, I only knew what
you’d shared on the surface. But now that I
know what’s underneath? I want all of you. I
want to raise Charlie together with her older
siblings. I want to be there for all of you
every single day if you’ll let me. I want all of
you forever.”
I stared at him, repeating breathlessly,
“Forever.”
“I’ve had some time these past few weeks to
reflect on our relationship. Not only this past
year, but the past ten years we’ve known
each other. I used to curse the timing. That
I’d met you too late, and it could have been
me in your life if I had been just a year or
two earlier. I know now that I wasn’t enough
for you back then. I was this eighteen-year-
old kid—yes, kid—who barely could take
care of himself and had a one-track mind
focused on hockey. I wish I could erase all
the pain you’ve suffered, but I needed that
time to become the man you truly deserved.
There was a reason I’d never dated seriously
or entertained the idea of settling down. I was
always waiting for you. It didn’t matter that
you were unavailable. No one could compare
to the standard for women you’d created in
my mind. And then, one day, the universe
rewarded my patience when a little boy threw
his ball over my fence. Someone was looking
out for me that day because you fell into my
lap and gave me everything I’d always
wanted but never thought I could have.
There’s only one more thing left to do.”
Jaxon stepped back, reaching into his pocket
before pulling out a velvet box. Knowing
where this was headed, I yelled, “Stop!”
He looked like a kicked puppy, but he did
stop, nodding. “All right.”
Reaching for him, I clarified, “No! I mean,
you can’t do it like this. Look at me!”
 Scanning me from head to toe, his smile
was genuine. “You’ve never looked more
beautiful.”
I blushed, gesturing to my appearance. “I’m
outside barefoot, in my pajamas, smelling
like baby spit-up.” A hand went to my
unwashed hair, thrown into a bun. “I can’t
even remember the last time I took a shower.
This can’t be how this happens.” Looking
down, I added, “I’m not even wearing a bra!”
“I’ve noticed.” He smirked, his gaze
lowering to my nipples, visible through the
thin fabric.
“Not funny.”
Letting him pull me back into his arms, I
melted into the embrace I’d craved while we
were apart. “Baby, I love you just like this.
This is you, the real you. The you that no one
out there gets to see but me. We did
everything backwards, but I wouldn’t change
any of it. I don’t care where we are, if no one
knows or everyone knows. If you want me to
put it in skywriting or sign an NDA, either
way is fine. All I want is you.”
“Are you sure?” A hot tear rolled down my
cheek.
Jaxon wiped it away with his thumb. “I love
you, Natalie. Something deep inside my soul
knew the day we met that you were my
future. I just didn’t understand then how that
would ever be possible. Even if it took
twenty years to find our way together, you
were always worth the wait.”
“Jaxon.” His name was a whisper on my
lips. I didn’t know how to tell him how much
he meant to me, so I decided to show him.
I ran my fingers into his hair, which he’d
started wearing longer again, simply because
I’d mentioned I had liked it. Jaxon closed his
eyes at the contact. Raising up on my toes, I
pulled his mouth down to mine. He sighed
into my mouth, and I took advantage, teasing
into his mouth, tasting as his arms tightened
around me, pouring all the tenderness of his
words into this kiss—the promise of
unconditional love combined with the
knowledge that he’d fought for me, for us.
This was my second chance, and I knew I
had to grab hold with both hands.
Gently, I broke the kiss, and with my eyes
still closed, I felt him drop his forehead to
mine. Taking that ultimate leap of faith, I
uttered a single word, “Yes.”
Jaxon’s head left mine, and I glanced up to
find hope shining in his eyes. They searched
mine. “Yes?”
“Yes,” I repeated, smiling so hard my
cheeks hurt.
Picking me up around the waist, Jaxon spun
us around. Wrapping my arms around his
neck, I hugged him close to me. After all
these years lost, I finally knew where I
belonged—here, with this man, in the place I
called home.
The road had been full of pain and
heartbreak, but if this was where it had led
me, I wouldn’t change a thing.
He set me down as I laughed, finally free of
those invisible chains that had kept me
prisoner for far too long. I cupped his face
with my hands. “You came back.”
Jaxon kissed me long and slow before
breaking away. “Of course, I came back. I
will always come back. That’s the deal.
You’re stuck with me now.”
Those words hit me, and I couldn’t hold
back a moment longer. I buried my head in
his chest and let the tears flow. He was
steadfast, as always, stroking my hair and
murmuring soothing words as I wept,
wetness soaking his T-shirt. These tears were
washing away the past, leaving me free to
pursue my future.
 This was how it was supposed to be. I’d
finally found real love with a man who loved
all my children as his own. Nothing was too
big to overcome. It would take some getting
used to, being truly loved for who I was, but
it was time to be happy. To give my children
the loving family they deserved.
Maybe this fallen princess had finally gotten
her happily ever after.

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 Epilogue

Jaxon

Four Months Later

The roar of the crowd was deafening. There

was nothing that could compare to the
excitement that came with a Comets home
opener.
 Taking the ice before the home crowd for
warmups, their excitement was contagious.
Going through my warmup routine, I made
stops for kids with signs asking to play rock,
paper, scissors for a puck or even requesting
a selfie. I’d always been a sucker for our
youngest fans.
The most important stop along my way was
at the curved glass in the corner, the open
space behind it, empty of seats where the
players’ families stood.
For the first time in my career, my family
was waiting there for me.
Amelia and Jameson stood shoulder to
shoulder, smiling wide as I made my way
over, flipping each a practice puck over the
glass. Beau stood on a chair to see over the
boards, bouncing up and down, banging on
the glass to get my attention until I gave him
a fist bump through the glass. Next to them,
holding my daughter—carrying my name
beyond where it was stitched on the back of
the jersey she wore—was the girl of my
dreams.
Natalie Slate. My wife.
Natalie beamed back at me, holding Charlie
up to the glass. Tiny noise-canceling
headphones protected Charlie’s ears from the
crowd noises. When she saw me, her pudgy
hands reached out toward me, and I waved as
she smiled at me.
This moment was better than I could have
ever imagined.
The start of the season usually meant that
our lives were about to become busier than
ever when it came to games and travel. But
compared to the whirlwind of the past few
months, it would be a refreshingly slower
pace.
After coming clean to my best friends and
teammates, Natalie and I got married in July
in an intimate ceremony at the lake behind
my parents’ house in Minnesota. Since no
one had put two and two together about our
relationship after the tattoo debacle, we’d
decided to go public with our wedding
photos.
Now, I wasn’t one to brag and say, “I told
you so,” but the news of our relationship, our
marriage, and even our daughter, was
surprisingly well-received by the public. As it
turned out, it’s not quite as gratifying to tear
down happy people, and that’s exactly what
we were. The city of Hartford ate it up,
loving that the hometown princess married
their favorite hockey hero.
Natalie’s inner radiance had been on full
display since we’d shared our lives publicly,
and the sky hadn’t come crashing down. She
was free in a way I’d never seen, and I was
so proud of the progress she’d made in
coming out of her shell. She’d even returned
to wearing her hair blonde—her choice, for
the first time. It’s more of a honey color
instead of champagne this time around, and it
suited her. She could dye it purple for all I
cared, and I would still love her with every
cell in my body.
It only took eleven years, but I’d finally
found my way to scoring the princess, and
we’d built an incredible family together.
There was only one thing left to do. Win a
championship with my family by my side.
The quest began tonight, and I was ready to
put up a hell of a fight.
As Liam had once said—I was a persistent
motherfucker.

For a bonus scene from Natalie and Jaxon’s

wedding click here

The saga of the Remington Royals

continues with Liam’s story in Playing
Pretend with the Prince

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 Acknowledgements

To my husband, for being my biggest

supporter, telling me that I should write a
book and persisting in that belief for ten
years before I finally sat down and did it.
Thank you for reading every word I continue
to write, making funny growling sounds and
making me laugh.
 To my children, for being excited to see my
book listings and telling anyone who asks
what I write that it’s for “adults only”.
To my parents, who have had my back since
Day 1, supporting me in every career venture
until I finally found the one that is my true
passion. Dad, thanks for stepping in as tech
support. Mom, thank you for fostering my
love for reading, especially in the romance
genre.
To Katie, my friend and editor, thank you
for scanning every line meticulously, for
being only a text away to work out how a
sentence or idea should work until it makes
sense from a reader’s point of view.
To Nina, my proofreader, thank you for
being the punctuation police because that is
so not my strong suit, and for supporting my
work, helping build me up, and pushing me
to keep moving forward.
 To my Vipers hockey moms, thank you for
being my biggest cheerleaders, giggling over
plotlines at our kid-free lunches.
To my readers, thank you for taking a
chance on my story. Hearing from you how
my stories impact you individually makes
this all worthwhile.

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 About the Author

Siena is originally from Pittsburgh,

Pennsylvania, where a love of sports is bred
into a girl’s DNA. Her love of romance
novels came early as well. She would often
accompany her romance reviewer mom to
book lover’s and romance writer’s
conventions, where she sat in on workshops
and met numerous best-selling authors. It
wasn’t long before she was filling notebooks
with her own stories, which often starred
herself and a certain real-life prince.
As luck would have it, she met and married
a handsome athlete instead. After several
temporary residencies in multiple states and
Germany, they finally settled in Michigan,
the land where youth hockey reigns
supreme.
Her stories no longer feature herself, but
draw from her past experiences as an
educator, businesswoman, fashion consultant,
and world traveler when creating her strong
heroines. “Oh yes,” she says with a wink and
a smile, “There are bits of me in all of them.”
Now she spends her days writing happily
ever afters for fictional characters and her
evenings at the local hockey arenas cheering
for her three children.
 Siena loves to hear from her readers, you
can email her at siena.trap.books@gmail.com

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 More Books By Siena Trap

Remington Royals Series

Scoring the Princess

Playing Pretend with the Prince
Feuding with the Fashion Princess
Connecticut Comets (Hockey) Series
Coming in 2024

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