Topic: The bar chart shows the percentage of the total world
population in 4 countries in 1950 and 2002, and projections for
2050. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting
the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Overall Band Score:
7.5
Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.
Grammar Mistakes:
0
Vocabulary Repetition:
country: 5
population: 4
percentage: 3
india: 3
china: 3
japan: 3
highest: 3
----Corrected Writing----
Original Corrected
The bar graph demonstrates the total The bar graph demonstrates the total
population percentage in India, China, population percentage in India, China,
the USA, and Japan in 1950 and 2002, the USA, and Japan in 1950 and 2002,
and in the future, 2050. and in the future, 2050.
Overall, China was the country with the Overall, China was the country with the
highest population ratio in the world in highest population ratio in the world in
the past, while India will be the country the past, while India will be the country
with the highest population ratio in 2050. with the highest population ratio in 2050.
Meanwhile, Japan has always had the Meanwhile, Japan has always had the
lowest percentage. lowest percentage.
Regarding the strongly increasing Regarding the strongly increasing
category, India between 1950 and 2050 category, India between 1950 and 2050
is the only country that has an is the only country that has an
increasing trend and a stable growth increasing trend and a stable growth
rate of about 1% to 2% per year, rate of about 1% to 2% per year,
beginning at 15%. beginning at 15%.
Concerning the decreasing categories, Concerning the decreasing categories,
China has had a strong decline from the China has had a strong decline from the
highest percentage to second place in highest percentage to second place in
2050, which has decreased from around 2050, which has decreased from around
23% to 15%. While the USA just had a 23% to 15%. While the USA just had a
small drop between 1950 and 2002, small drop between 1950 and 2002,
about 2% to 3%, starting at roughly 8%, about 2% to 3%, starting at roughly 8%,
and then this country is expected to and then this country is expected to
have a stable population until 2050. have a stable population until 2050.
Finally, Japan is the country that has the Finally, Japan is the country that has the
lowest percentage in the past and the lowest percentage in the past and the
future; moreover, it has a decreasing future; moreover, it has a decreasing
trend from under 5% to 1% or 2%. trend from under 5% to 1% or 2%.
Word Count: 184 Word Count: 184
----Feedback----
Task Response Coherence & Lexical Resource Grammatical
Cohesion Range &
Accuracy
7 7 7 8
The report covers The report is The vocabulary The report
the main trends generally well- used is appropriate demonstrates a
and makes organized with a and generally good command of
relevant clear structure, accurate. grammar with very
comparisons. including an However, there's few errors. The
However, there are overview and room for sentence
some inaccuracies specific details improvement by structures are
in the data about each incorporating a varied and
reported, and the country. wider range of generally well-
description could Transitions synonyms and controlled. A few
be more precise. between more precise minor adjustments
To improve, paragraphs are language to could further refine
ensure data present but could describe trends the writing, such
accuracy and vary be smoother to and data. For as ensuring
sentence enhance the flow. instance, instead consistent tense
structures for a Consider using of 'strongly usage and
more sophisticated more varied increasing avoiding overly
response. cohesive devices category,' consider complex
to connect ideas using 'significant sentences that
within and growth.' Also, might obscure
between avoid informal clarity.
paragraphs. language.
