CHAPTER 1:TYPHOON

by MoreFreya_

Is she crazy?

It's night now.

This was dangerous, and Fan's tone sounded very anxious. Surely she would come soon.

No way... It's getting dangerous at night like this.

I was so anxious that I couldn't calm down, but I didn't dare call again because I thought she
might be driving. Almost thirty minutes passed until the situation in the restaurant calmed
down, but Fan still hadn't come.

I'm waiting in the same place.

But Fan never came.

I felt indescribable relief when I saw Fan's number calling, but the voice on the other end of the
phone was not the one I was familiar with, and the words made my heart drop.

"Excuse me, are you a relative of the deceased? We see this number as the last number on the
phone."

"What?"

"Because of you!" The high-pitched voice shouted as the owner of the voice pushed me against
the wall. Her small hands hit my face repeatedly until blood flowed from the corner of my
mouth.

"Enough!"

"Bad boy, devil's son! You made my daughter die, my daughter died because of you!"

I stared at the woman who looked angry and almost crazy in front of me.

Mae...
"...sorry," I lowered my head and said softly, letting the tears flow even though the blood in my
mouth was flowing, but not feeling the pain.

What happened to me was not painful at all.

A feeling of numbness enveloped me completely.

"Excuse me..."

Excuse me...

Fan... I'm sorry, I'm sorry...

I apologize...

Excuse me...

Fan's body was taken to the hospital for examination. According to information, she was hit by a
drunk car, and the perpetrator did not realize that he was drunk. He was punished according to
the law. After that, the body was taken back home, and the funeral was held simply. Apart from
the local residents, no one knew.

About this, my parents didn't want it to be the subject of gossip, that their daughter secretly
drove out alone at night to pick up a boy from a bar and was hit to death.

Even Phi Fah's family didn't know, because they were people who had done a great service to
father. Father didn't let uncle know, otherwise...

He definitely didn't dare to meet them.

I sat in front of the coffin placed in the house, not wanting to go out to greet the guests outside.
And I didn't want to be looked at with such looks. Of course, I hated the words people said.

"If he hadn't behaved like that, his older sister wouldn't have died."

"That's right. Even his father and mother doesn't want to take care of him, only Thorfan cares. If
it's like this, then what else can we do?"

"Nobody loves him, so Thorfan is just like that."

"Think about it. Who would be so kind as to go to a bar at a time like that. That night she went
because she was worried, if only she didn't go, the child would still be fine."

"Thorfan is a weirdo. Why worry? If I were her, I wouldn't go out looking for him."

"Hmm, that's why she was hit by a car. If he had stayed home, it wouldn't have been like this.
Too bad, they said she was a smart kid. Thorfan was his parents' future."

In the middle of the night, unable to sleep since the day Thorfan left. I just locked myself in
Thorfan's room all night. The tears that flowed didn't know when they would stop, and no
matter how much, it didn't make the sadness less.

Stop....

Just realized what it means to be exhausted to stand...

That's Pho's voice...

My whole body was tired, I didn't even have the energy to move, but the tears kept flowing.

Hearing Pho and Mae's voices, it seemed like they were arguing downstairs. Not wanting them
to fight, I tried to restrain myself from going over to them.

"Enough! I'm tired of men like you!"

"Why? What's wrong with a man like me?"

"You're a jerk. Even after getting married, you can still get someone pregnant. How is that
possible?!"

"We've already discussed this. Why bring it up again?"

"Why? Why can't I talk? Afraid that other people will find out, right? Afraid of becoming the
subject of gossip? Why? You, Rit, who has a good name in society, are you embarrassed if other
people find out that you are just a lewd man?"

"Shut up! This isn't the time to discuss this!"

"Why? I have the right to speak, when that child caused my child's death!"
"I've been raising her for over ten years and it's been pretty good. Every time I see him, it
reminds me of who destroyed me."

"I didn't mean to do it. I didn't mean to get her pregnant."

"Then? She was already pregnant. And in the end, that child was the one who caused my child
to die."

"Thorfan is my daughter too!"

"Why did it have to be Thorfan? Why didn't that kid die?! Why did it have to be Thorfan? Huh?!
Why did it have to be Thorfan, my daughtet? Huh... Thorfan, my daughter."

Mae starts to fall and cry on the floor, while Pho doesn't know what to do.

Likewise with me.

It was as if the world was collapsing and shattering into pieces. Why not me...

"Phoon."

"..."

"Phoon."

"..."

"Huh, huh?"

"What do you think?"

"Uhm... no."

"Come on, let's eat first. It's getting late."

"Krap." I quickly put the rice into my mouth, raising my hand to wipe away the tears that were
pooling around my eyes. I shouldn't cry here...

"Hmm... then?"

"Yes?"

"You haven't answered the question I asked earlier."

"What about Thorfan?"

"Thorfan..."

"..."

"Just fine."

---TBC---

CHAPTER 2:WHITE AND PURPLE

"Be careful when driving."

"Yeah, see you."

"Krap."

I said my goodbyes before watching the car I just got out of drive away. It was Phi Fah who drove
me back to the dorm. We talked a lot about things that happened while we were gone, but
nothing special. If I had to guess, he probably didn't think much of me.

After moving, he must have encountered new environments, new things, and continued to walk
forward on his own path.

Unlike me who is still lost.

But I was glad that Phi Fah was happy to meet me, even though it was just as a neighbor's
younger brother who I hadn't seen for a long time.

I walked to my room tiredly. Today was quite tiring because I had been walking around all day.
Not to mention being exposed to the hot sun. I took off my bag and put my things next to the
bed, took my camera and opened the photos I took today.

So lucky today to be able to take a picture of such a clear sky. There are almost no clouds at all.
Today, you are so bright....

I glanced at the wall above my desk, where the photos were pasted. When I first learned
photography, I asked Fan to be my model. At first, she refused and said that she didn't like being
photographed, but eventually she always let me take her pictures. We traveled to many places
together to take pictures. So, the wall in front of me was full of memories.

It's strange, I never thought about it before, but after Fan was gone, all the memories came
flooding back as if to remind me not to forget them. Every photo has a story, and every story
involves me.

I remember everything.

I sat on the desk chair. Beside me was a pile of books for medical exams. Nearby, there was a
bookshelf, and on the other side was a small drawer for storing things. I opened the bottom
drawer, where Fan's photos that had been taken with a film camera were kept.

This photo is beautiful too. Maybe I'll stick it later...

I remember I didn't really like the clothes Fan was wearing when the photo was taken, because
they were too revealing. Fan ended up wearing an extra shirt even though the weather was very
hot at that time.

I always follow Fan's wishes, that's why she became spoiled like this. Come to think of it, Fan
used to always obeys whatever I want, including the matter of keeping cats.

Because I said I wanted to keep a cat, but my mother didn't allow it, so PhiFah kept it for me.

Mother...

I still call her mom, even though she's... not.

Because...

When someone asks how my mother is, I want to answer, "I don't know, since my mother
divorced my father, I haven't heard from her."

Instead of answering, "I don't know, because I don't know who my real mother is."

I used to blame everything that happened to me, but when I think about it, everything has a
reason.

Imagine a family, a father, a mother, and a one-year-old daughter. Everything seems fine. The
family is warm and happy, with a little angel as proof of their love.
But suddenly, a baby was found abandoned, and it turned out to be the father's child. The
family was destroyed. The mother lost her love and trust in her husband, but she had to stay
because there was their daughter, and she had to be a mother to the baby too.

If she hates me, it's natural. I'm the proof of her bad life. Every time she looks at me, I don't
know how much hatred is implied in her eyes.

As for father... he doesn't love my mother. Maybe it's a mistake, or whatever, but I'm his child.
Don't you think of loving me even a little bit?

I don't know who my biological mother is, but one thing is for sure, she left me. That's clear. No
news, no contact, no stories that would allow me to know her.

She didn't even give me a name...

But I hope she's doing well, somewhere in this world. If we meet, and she remembers me, I want
to ask her... Mom, have you ever thought about me? What do you want me to grow up to be?
What do you want me to learn? Or become?

And me... have I become what you want me to be?

"Typhoon, come out and talk to me."

"Don't want to."

"Sorry, Typhoon. Don't be angry, okay?"

"You promised to go with me. I don't like people who break promises."

"I have to do group work with my friends. I'll invite you next time."

"No, I can go by myself."

"You can't go alone. What if you get lost?"

"Do you care?"

"Typhoon...."
I sat on my bed, feeling angry and disappointed because Fan had broken our promise. We had
promised to go out on Saturday, but suddenly she said she couldn't because she had to do
group work with her friends.

What the heck? I've been waiting for this day!

"Open the door. Let's talk." Fan was still standing in front of my locked room. Since I had no one
but Fan, she had to pay special attention to me. Whenever I felt unhappy, I often got angry and
disappointed. Fan must be tired too.

"Typhoon, you are an unpleasant child...."

"I won't open it."

"If we don't talk nicely, how can we understand each other?"

"There's nothing to understand."

"Huh..."

Then the voice in front of the room began to fade. I turned towards the door. Didn't she want to
beg anymore?

A moment later, a piece of paper was slipped from under the door.

I slowly walked over and picked it up. The paper was neatly folded, and when I opened it, there
was a handwritten message on it.

For... Typhoon, the stubborn kid.

Phoon, we agreed that we will go out together on Saturday, but you have to understand that I
am busy. This group work is very important. If I don't help, my friends will definitely be mad at
me. You don't want me to get scolded by my friends, right? So, be a good boy and let me go for a
while, okay? Next time I will take you out for twice as long. Plus snacks. Agreed?

P.S. I know you are waiting for me to seduce you. But, if one day I don't seduce you anymore,
what will happen to this angry little kid? Come on, stop being angry. The cake I baked is almost
done. If you don't come out, I will finish the cake myself!

From... ThorFan, the older sister who always teases this angry little brother.
I smiled a little because of the message written on the paper. I opened the door and found Fan
standing waiting with a freshly baked cake in her hand. Then we reconciled and sat down to eat
the cake together.

Since then, we both always send letters through the gap under the door when we are angry or
do not understand each other, or when we want to say something but do not dare to say it
directly. We always write letters like this.

Fan said... writing a letter conveys feelings that are not fully conveyed. Just like when she
wanted to reconcile with me, but I wouldn't talk. So, she used a letter to convey his feelings

Until now, I still write down my feelings that I want to convey to her.

I wrote a letter every day. A letter to ThorFan, like a diary of what I experienced that day. I told
Fan everything that happened in my life. But I never sent the letter anywhere. After writing, I
kept it in a drawer. I started writing like this since not long after Fan died, because I felt lonely
and wanted to tell everyone everything.

The most important thing is...

the longing I want to convey. Just like the letter Fan once sent me...

ThorFan.

Last time you said you were coming to Chiang Mai, today the weather was good, so I went for a
walk and took pictures as usual. I also went to Walking Street. The street looked different. The
items sold were not bought by many people. I found a cheap item, only one hundred and fifty
baht. Most importantly, I met Phi Fa. PhiFah came with someone named Mona, the same age as
me. They were in medical school. At first I thought they were dating, but PhiFah said Mona was
his junior. Maybe they were quite close, huh.

There's no way they'd hang out together if they weren't close. In the future, maybe their
relationship will develop.

Phi Fah seemed happy to see me. Like meeting a long-lost sibling, maybe. Phi Fah asked a lot of
things, including about Fan. But I said, Fan... is fine.
I'm sorry for lying. I've become a bad child again. But at that time I couldn't think fast. If I told
the truth, maybe Phi Fah would be angry. What if Phi Fah was disappointed in me? I know Phi
Fah isn't that kind of person, but honestly I... was so scared. I was scared of everything. If I lost
him, who else would I have?

Phi Fah is still the same as before. As kind as ever. And most importantly, he is more handsome.
I am sure he is very famous on campus. Of course, he is Phi Fah. Oh yeah, I heard Mona is Phi
Fah's protégé. That means Phi Fah is very smart. He became a great senior doctor.

But you don't have to worry. I will definitely pass the medical exam. I will be a doctor who helps
children in need, just like you always dreamed of. :)

I hope you are always happy and healthy there.

With love and longing that is always there, from... Typhoon.

I folded the paper and taped it shut, then put it in a drawer full of similar papers.

Because I write every day and have been writing for years, the papers are piling up. But it's not
hard to store them. A small box is enough to store them. When time passes, I go back to reading
old letters, remembering every day I've been through. There were good days, there were also
sad days. Some papers even had tears in them. But I've gotten through it.

Maybe I just think to myself, but I feel like I'm a little more mature now.

There was a notification sound from my phone. I took it and saw a message from Phi Fah.

We just exchanged Lines, right?

Finally, I can talk to Phi Fah...

TonFah.: Are you asleep?

Typhoon: Not yet, Phi.

TonFah.: Where do you want to go tomorrow?

Earlier, while in the car on the way home, Phi Fah said that since I had just arrived here, I
probably didn't know the way. If I had time, Phi Fah would take me around the city so I could get
to know the surrounding area better. If I wanted to go somewhere special, I could tell him and
Phi Fah would take me...

Typhoon: I don't know yet, Phi.

TonFah.: Do you have time tomorrow?

TonFah.: Let's take a walk around campus.

TonFah.: So you don't get lost when you go to college.

Typhoon: Sure, Phi.

TonFah.: I'll pick you up tomorrow, okay.

TonFah.: What time is it?

Typhoon: One o'clock, yes, Phi.

TonFah.: Okay, one o'clock.

Typhoon: Krap.

TonFah.: Take care of your health.

Typhoon: Krap Phi. Take care of your health too.

Then our conversation ended there. We prayed for each other's health even though it was only a
little past nine at night. I opened his profile and saw his photo, he looked handsome when he
was accidentally photographed.

Just talking this far, but somehow my heart feels warm. When I think about meeting him
tomorrow, I can't help but smile.

He wanted to show me around campus so I wouldn't get lost in college. Really kind, right? Is he
this kind to everyone? I've heard that falling in love with someone's kindness that is given to
everyone is more painful than falling in love with someone who has never loved anyone.

May your tomorrow be as bright as that day.

04:20
I couldn't sleep well tonight. Actually, I rarely sleep well. There were so many things to think
about. Often, when I closed my eyes, the image of Fan would appear. After that, I would cry all
night long. Sometimes I would have nightmares, wake up in the middle of the night, and find my
tears already flowing. I dreamed that I saw Fan driving a car to pick me up and then getting hit.
Or sometimes I dreamed that my father and mother were fighting. That's why sleeping became
something quite scary for me.

For fear of nightmares...

I went to the doctor once because of this insomnia. It was interfering with my daily life.
However, I didn't tell him the details of what caused it. I just said that I was stressed because of
school and some other things. My insomnia got worse and worse, and the doctor said I had
insomnia. At first, the medication that was given helped, but over time, the more I slept, the
worse my dreams became. So, I stopped taking the medication and decided to endure it.

with this insomnia problem. Actually, the doctor suggested that I see a psychiatrist about
depression, because it seemed like something else was bothering me. However, I didn't want to
tell anyone what was happening.

I didn't dare to tell and didn't want to talk about it. I tried to bury it all deep inside...

People usually go to bed around eight at night, but I woke up around half past nine. I only slept
for about an hour, and even then I didn't sleep soundly, waking up several times, so my head
hurt. But anyway, I wouldn't be able to sleep anymore, so I just gave up.

I wake up, take a shower, wash my face, make coffee, and open my schedule to see what classes
I have to study today. Then I start reading a book.

Should I take extra lessons? Maybe there are good courses in Chiang Mai to prepare for the
exam. When is the right time to talk to my father about this? The time I mean is when my father
has free time and is available to talk.

I didn't forget to stop reading around six in the morning to watch the sunrise. Because of this
insomnia, I've been used to waking up early for years. Watching the sunrise wasn't bad either.
The sky changing colors as the sun began to rise was beautiful. I couldn't help but grab my
camera and take a picture.
I read a book for almost three hours. At seven in the morning, I went downstairs to find
breakfast.

"You're up early," the roast meat seller said. I smiled.

"Yes, ma'am. Two skewers of grilled meat and one packet of sticky rice, please," I replied.

"As usual? Not interested in trying roast chicken?"

"No need, thank you." I smiled shyly.

"But your face doesn't look fresh. Did you sleep last night?" asked the aunt as she took two
skewers of barbecued meat and put them in the bag.

"I've wanted to ask for a long time, your face looks sleepy all the time."

"Hehe, I couldn't sleep well last night," I replied as I gave her the money to pay for the roast
meat. "I'll go now, auntie."

I said goodbye to my aunt and walked back to my room. Many people greeted me and said that
my face always looked sleepy. Oh... I was always sleepy all the time. I went back to my room, sat
down, and started eating the sticky rice and grilled meat that I bought earlier. Have you ever
heard that people who don't get enough sleep will die sooner?

I guess that's true. Because ever since I've been suffering from insomnia, I've started to forget
things more often. Even though I was already forgetful before. It seems like my brain can't work
optimally. If this is the case, how much longer can I live, huh, Fan?

I had nothing else to do except waiting for Phi Fah today, so I kept reading books. I was not a
smart student, unlike Fan and Phi Fa. But because I wanted to get praise, I tried hard all this
time. Fah always said that effort will never betray us. If we are not as good as others, we must
try harder than them. Those good grades are the result of patience and effort.

But even though my grades were good, I still didn't get any attention. Fan said, she was smart,
but she had to work hard because she didn't like the subjects she was taking. Maybe that was
true. I didn't like biology, chemistry, or physics.

If asked what I like, I like photography and want to be a photographer. But, never mind... that's
just my dream.
13:04

TonFah: Can we move to two o'clock?

TonFah: Phi has some business to attend to.

Typhoon: Krap.

14:12

Tonfah: I'm a little late.

Tonfah: The road is really congested.

Typhoon: Krap.

14:36

Tonfah: I've arrived.

Tonfah: Walk slightly to the left.

I turned my head as Phi Fah instructed, but didn't see anyone.

"That's the right way, Phoon."

"Still confused about left and right, huh?" Phi Fah asked with a small laugh. I was silent because
I felt embarrassed, once again embarrassing myself in front of him.

"Have you been waiting here long?"

I've been waiting since half past eleven...

"No, I just got off."

"Okay, do you want to go now?"

"Krap," I replied as I followed Phi Fah into the car. Because I was a little nervous about going out
with him, I had already gone down and waited at the table downstairs. When Phi Fah said he
would delay it a bit, I was too lazy to go back and forth, so I just waited there.

"Had lunch?"

"Ah... that's it."

The grilled pork satay this morning was my two portions of food. Usually I'm not that hungry,
but for some reason now.

"Certain?"

"Yes, why?"

"It's okay, you just look a little tired today."

"Oh... this is normal."

"Normal? You mean you're always like this?" Phi Fah, who was driving, glanced at me. He
looked a little surprised by what he heard.

"Yes."

"This doesn't look too good," he said, before turning his attention back to the road. Phi was
driving very carefully, which was good because I often get carsick.

"It doesn't matter."

"Are you sure it's okay?"

"Yes, that's okay."

No matter what... everything will be okay.

"If we turn left here, we'll reach the engineering faculty. But it looks like you won't be studying
here," Phi explained the places in the university. This was important for someone like me. I
raised my camera and started shooting.

"You always carry a camera?"

"Yes, I like taking pictures."

"I remember, you've liked it since junior high school."

"Krap," I answered, nodding. The first camera I owned was a birthday present from Phi Fah and
Fan, who pooled their money to buy me a camera because they knew I was starting to get
interested in photography but didn't have my own camera yet. I often borrowed my father's
camera to take pictures.
"There is a general lecture building here, some free courses are taught here."

"Has Phi also studied here?"

"It was only in my second year that I didn't seem to take many courses outside of the faculty
anymore."

"Oh..." I kept taking pictures along the way, to upload later on my bedroom wall. Which
buildings are there here? "Then where is my faculty?"

"Outside campus, because it requires a large area."

"Large area?"

"For livestock, share with the faculty of agriculture."

"Oh..." I nodded in understanding. I thought, choosing veterinary school... can I do it? I do like
animals, but I'm not sure if I can do it well.

"There's also a park here for walking. This is a water dam, do you want to go there?"

"I Want to."

We stopped at the parking lot, then I followed Phi walking. Even though it was afternoon, the
weather was still hot. After walking up a bit, we saw a water dam with a small path around it for
walking. There were several people walking there.

I really like the sky I see from here.

I quickly raised my camera to take a picture. Above was the sky, below was the mountain.
Although it was hot, the breeze felt refreshing. We walked until we reached a slightly shady spot
under a tree. It felt cooler here.

"Can we take a break?" I asked. The heat was making me feel even more tired, especially since I
didn't get enough sleep and was now exposed to the sun. My head was starting to feel a little
dizzy.

"Sure," Phi Fah sat on the bench near me. I secretly glanced at him every now and then. A gentle
breeze brushed his face, and strands of his hair flew in the wind.
The sight made my heart beat faster, but when Phi realized I was watching him, I quickly looked
away. It was so beautiful...

Staying like this is also okay, no matter what happens.

At least for now, I feel that way.

"Oh, Phi! Typhoon!" Suddenly a girl approached and greeted us while waving cheerfully.
"Hello!"

That's Mona...

"Hi, Mona, came alone?"

"Yeah, I was just walking around because I was bored in the dorm," she replied. "Then, what are
you guys doing?"

"Going for a walk," answered Phi Fah.

"Good, can we go for a walk together?"

"Sure," Phi agreed. I had expected him to agree, given his friendly nature. I had to go along too.
Unlike me, who felt a little awkward around strangers.

"Typhoon, I can call you Typhoon, right?"

"Oh, that's fine."

"Do you like taking pictures too?" Mona asked, glancing at my camera hanging around my neck.

I nodded slowly in response.

"Can I see the photo? I'm just learning how to take pictures."

"My photos are not good," I replied. I prefer to keep my photos to myself, because I think they
are beautiful, but maybe not to other people.

"It's okay, I'm not very good either. Let's exchange looking at photos, okay?"

"Uh... yes, you can." Finally I couldn't refuse, and we looked at each other's shots.

"Wow, your photos are great, Typhoon."

"Thank you. Yours is nice too," I replied as I returned the camera.

"Ah, just call me Mona," she said with a smile. "Phi, let's take a picture together."

Then Mona held Phi Fah's arm...

They look very familiar.

"Phi doesn't really like being photographed," Phi Fah answered, rejecting Mona's offer.

"Come on, just once," Mona pleaded.

"Okay..."

"Phoon... please take a picture," Mona said, handing me her camera once again. This time, she
wanted me to take a couple photo of the two people. There was a small bridge here that was
quite cute. Taking a photo here would make them look like a couple.

"The photo isn't very clear," Mona pouted a little, looking dissatisfied after seeing my shot. The
picture focused more on the background than them.

"Sorry, I'm not very good at taking pictures of people."

"It's okay, I'll upload it to Facebook later, okay? Can you tag Phi Fah?"

"Yes," he replied.

On the way home, Mona asked to ride with me in the car. She sat in the front seat, while I moved
to the back seat. I sat in the back and watched them talk. Mona was indeed sweet, good at
talking, and very cheerful.

"Yesterday I met Phi Jo."

"Really? Where did you meet him?"

"At the mall. He was shopping with a woman, very beautiful. He even carried things for her. I
didn't know Phi Jo could have such sweet moments, carrying things for women. You heard
about Phi Jo, right? I thought he wouldn't date anyone openly anymore."

"Carrying things? Strange," Phi Fah repeated the words.

"That should be her girlfriend, right?"

"Maybe," Phi Fah replied. "Jo wouldn't be the type to carry things for other people."

"But he really brought stuff, full in his hands. Things like clothes, cosmetics, shoes. The woman
is very beautiful, she suits Phi Jo very well. What a pity."

"Why do you say that?"

"My friend likes Phi Jo. She said he's the perfect type. She even went to college here because of
Phi Jo."

"Is it true?"

"Yes, I also secretly support her. They say that a man who is no longer a playboy will be very
caring. I don't know if that's true."

"Who knows."

"Then, what about Phi Fah? Are you a playboy too?" I asked in a teasing voice.

"No."

"Really?" asked Mona, fishing.

"Yes," answered Phi Fa.

"Good then. Thanks for dropping me off. See you later. Take care, Phoon. See you!" Mona got
out of the car when she reached her destination, then turned to say goodbye.

"Yes," Phi Fah answered with a small smile, making Mona's smile even wider.

"Oh, Phi Fah, do you have time?"

"There is. Why?"

"I want to ask about a part I don't understand."

"Really? Have you read the material first?"

"Of course, I'm a Phi Tonfah student, so I have to achieve the best results." Mona said excitedly.
"So, do you have time?"

"I have time."

"Then I'll call you later, okay? Don't forget to answer the phone."

"Yes."

"Phoon..."

"Why?"

"Just move to the front," Phi Fah offered.

"Okay," I replied, then got out of the car and moved to the front seat.

"Going straight home?" asked Phi Fah.

"Crap."

"Okay."

On the way back to the dorm, I looked out the window. The sun was starting to set, and I felt
something filling my chest, like a suffocating smoke. I didn't like this feeling.

"Then, I'll call you later, don't forget to pick up the phone."

Fan... he is closer to the sky than to me myself.

"Do you want to stop by for a bite to eat before you go home?" Phi Fah asked.

"No need, I'm not hungry yet."

"Are you sure? Phi thinks you should eat something. Your face looks pale."

"No, it's okay."

"Phoon, what's wrong?" Phi Fah asked again.

"No, nothing."

"Since I met you yesterday, you haven't looked as bright as usual. What happened?"

His tone sounded anxious. I didn't know how he felt when he said that sentence, and I didn't
know the expression on his face either because I didn't turn to look at him.

Certainly, I don't feel well.

"No, nothing."

What could happen...

I turned and gave a big smile to the person next to me.

"We can stop for something to eat," I said. Maybe something would make me feel better. The
luxury car stopped at a roadside food stall. I knew it wasn't good to keep everything to myself.
Fan had taught me that.

But... it's become my habit. All this time, I've always been alone.

"You couldn't sleep last night, huh?" Phi Fah who was sitting across asked.

"Why do you think that?"

"It feels predictable."

"Yes, a little."

"Then go home and rest."

"Crap."

The care given to everyone... that's not good, Phi Fah.

You know many people fall into your kindness trap. I knew from the start, if I fell, it would only
hurt me.

You must have a certain charm... for people you don't think about.

After we finished eating, we walked back to the car. My eyes fell on the plant shop next door. I
love plants, because they make me feel calm in an inexplicable way.

"Do you want to see it?" Phi Fah asked.

"Can we look for a moment?"

"Of course."

When I was at home, I planted a lot of plants. Now, my aunt is probably taking care of them. As
for my father, he has moved in with his new family. At home, there are only me, my father, and
the maid. When I moved to the dorm, my balcony was filled with stuff, there was barely any
space to put a pot of plants.

"Anything catches your eye? Want to plant it on your dorm balcony?" asked the seller who came
up to us.

"Ah, yes... just wanted to see first," I said, smiling broadly at them. I couldn't buy, because there
was no place to plant, but I wanted to see until I finally stopped at the potted flowers on the
shelf.

Hyacinth...

Hyacinth is a winter flower that can live in air-conditioned rooms, so there is no need to worry
about the balcony not having any more space.

"Are you interested?" Phi Fah who was standing behind asked. I turned and looked at him with a
grateful look, and he nodded. "Then Phi will buy it."

"Are you going to buy it?"

"Yes. If you can be this bright, Phi will definitely buy it."

"Thank you," I said while expressing my gratitude, then smiled slightly at Phi Fa. "Does Phi Fah
want to plant it too?"

"No, I don't think I have time to take care of it."

"Too bad," I said, a little disappointed. If we could plant it together, there would be more to talk
about. Phi Fah looked at me thoughtfully, as if he was thinking about something.

"Okay, but Phi Fah can't guarantee that he will take good care of him."

“Krap,” I said hopefully, before turning back to look at the shelf filled with hyacinths. Maybe it's
better if I buy ones that are already flowering, rather than planting them from scratch. "Then
may I buy some for Phi Fah in return?"

"Huh?"

"Yes, right?"
"Okay," Phi Fah answered, shaking her head slightly, then showing a thin smile. I chose the
purple hyacinth flower.

I stopped the salesman to ask him to pack it.

"Can Phi Fah choose a color for me?"

"Sure," PhiFah approached, then glanced at the hyacinths on the shelf and chose a white one
for me.

"White? Why?" I asked.

"Phi I think that color suits you," he said, leaving me momentarily stunned. What did the white
hyacinth color mean? It meant...

No way... Phi Fah probably didn't mean the meaning of the flower. He must have just thought
that white suited me.

"Why did you choose purple hyacinth?"

"Eh... nothing special,"

I answered.

"I just want to give it away."

---TBC---