Greetings et salutations
Greetings in France are often more formal and steeped in specific cultural
conventions, differing significantly from the more casual and direct style of
American interactions. Politeness, or la politesse, is paramount in French
culture and influences nearly every social exchange.
Greetings: The Ritual of Bonjour
In France, the most fundamental rule is to say "Bonjour" (good day) or
"Bonsoir" (good evening, after 6 p.m.) to everyone you encounter. This
simple act is not a mere pleasantry but a required sign of respect and good
manners. You'll say "Bonjour" when entering a shop, boarding a bus, or
even joining a group of people. In contrast, Americans might offer a simple
"hello" or "hi" but often don't feel obligated to greet every person they see,
especially strangers in public.
Adding a formal title like "Monsieur" (sir) or "Madame" (ma'am) to the
greeting is also a common practice, particularly in initial interactions or with
older individuals. This level of formality is generally less prevalent in the
U.S., where using first names is more common and acceptable early on.
Physical Greetings: La Bise vs. Hugs
The physical aspect of greetings is a major point of difference. The French
often greet friends, family, and even acquaintances with "la bise," a light
cheek-to-cheek air kiss. The number of kisses varies by region, usually
ranging from two to four. It's a key part of social ritual, and for those
unaccustomed to it, it can feel quite intimate. In professional settings, or
when meeting someone for the first time, a firm and brief handshake is the
standard.
Americans, on the other hand, are much more likely to hug. Hugging is a
common greeting for friends and family and is generally seen as a warm
and friendly gesture. However, in France, a hug can be viewed as an overly
intimate or even awkward gesture, so it's best to avoid it unless you know
the person very well.
Communication: Formality and the "Tu" vs. "Vous" Distinction
French communication is built on a foundation of formality that isn't as
pronounced in American English. The distinction between "tu" (informal
"you") and "vous" (formal/plural "you") is a cornerstone of this. You use
"tu" with friends, family, and children, but "vous" is required for strangers,
elders, and in professional contexts. Using "tu" too early can be seen as
disrespectful. In the U.S., the single pronoun "you" eliminates this
complication, and people tend to become more familiar with each other
more quickly.
The French also tend to be less direct and verbose than Americans. While
Americans might engage in small talk with strangers, the French generally
avoid it, preferring meaningful conversation over superficial pleasantries.
Topics like money, politics, and religion are often considered taboo in initial
conversations. A French person's more reserved nature and directness
shouldn't be mistaken for unfriendliness; it's simply a different cultural
norm.
French Greetings: A Lesson in Cultural
Courtesies
When traveling to France or interacting with French-speaking people, understanding their
greeting customs is essential. While Americans often default to casualness, the French prioritize
a certain level of formality and politeness, known as savoir-vivre. This difference is particularly
apparent in how people greet each other.
Greetings: More than just "Hello"
The foundational rule of French greetings is to always acknowledge
someone. Saying a simple "hello" is a sign of respect and is expected in
nearly all social and professional contexts.
● Bonjour: This is the most important word you'll learn. It literally
means "good day" and is used from the morning until about 6 p.m. or
sunset. When entering a store, cafe, or a friend's home, you should
always say "Bonjour" to the people present. To show extra
politeness, you can add a title like Monsieur (sir) or Madame
(madam).
● Bonsoir: This is the evening equivalent of "Bonjour" and is used after
sunset.
● Salut: This is the casual, informal equivalent of "Hi." It should only be
used with close friends, family, or people you know well.
In contrast, American greetings are often more flexible. While a verbal
greeting is common, it's not always expected in the same way. For
example, it's not considered rude to enter a small shop in the U.S. without
saying "hello" to the cashier until you're at the counter. In France, however,
failing to greet someone upon entering is considered impolite.
Physical Greetings: A Tale of Two Cultures
This is where the most significant cultural difference lies. Americans are
generally comfortable with hugging as a common greeting among friends
and even new acquaintances, especially in informal settings. A firm
handshake is a standard professional greeting for both men and women.
The French have different, more nuanced rules for physical contact.
● La Bise (The Kiss): This is the quintessential French greeting. It
involves lightly touching cheeks and making a kissing sound in the
air. The number of "kisses" varies by region, but two is the most
common. It's used to greet friends, family, and even acquaintances.
It's a sign of affection and familiarity. However, it's not a universal
rule.
● Shaking Hands: The handshake, or se serrer la main, is typically
reserved for formal or professional settings and for greeting people
you don't know. Men often shake hands with other men, while a
"bise" is more common between women, and between men and
women. The French handshake is often a quick, single downward
motion and is not as firm as a typical American handshake.
● Hugging: Unlike in the U.S., hugging is considered very intimate in
France and is generally reserved for extremely close friends and
family. A hug as a greeting is far less common and can make a
French person feel uncomfortable.
Formal vs. Informal Language
French culture places great importance on the distinction between formal
and informal language, which is reflected in the use of "you" (tu vs. vous).
● Vous: This is the formal pronoun for "you" and is used to address
strangers, people older than you, or those in a position of authority
(like a boss, teacher, or police officer). When in doubt, always use
"vous" to show respect.
● Tu: This is the informal pronoun for "you" and is reserved for close
friends, family members, and children.
In the U.S., there is no equivalent distinction in language. The word "you" is
used universally, regardless of the relationship or social context. This
makes navigating the French language a bit more complex for English
speakers, as using "tu" with a stranger can be seen as presumptuous or
rude.
