VILLAINIZED

1st Draft - May 27th, 2012 Written by Robert Rousseau

FADE IN: EXT. COUNTRYSIDE - NIGHT Beneath the full moon, a tree-lined dirt road stretches into the horizon. In the distance, a pair of headlights emerge. They belong to a nondescript car which speeds past seconds later. INT. CAR - NIGHT There is faint thumping and muffled shouting coming from the trunk, mostly drowned out by the classic rock playing softly on the radio. The driver is dressed in all black, hooded and masked. His face is a grinning skull. A black bag sits on the seat next to him, and a thick liquid - possibly blood - drips from one of his hands onto the steering wheel. This is THE SKULL. EXT. DIRT ROAD - NIGHT The car slows and turns down a smaller road leading to the forest, it disappears into the trees. INT. CAR - NIGHT The Skull stares ahead intently, drumming his fingers on the wheel. The muffled sounds from the trunk grow increasingly loud. He reaches down and turns up the music. EXT. CLEARING - NIGHT The car pulls to a stop next to a shallow grave. A shovel protrudes from the neighboring pile of dirt. The engine goes quiet. INT. CAR - NIGHT The Skull reaches into his bag and takes out a gun. Contemplates it for a moment. INT. CAR (TRUNK) - NIGHT Blackness. Sounds of shuffling and laboured breathing. The trunk opens and The Skull hovers motionless in the misty exhaust, illuminated red from the brake lights.

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Looking down on us with cold detachment, he aims the gun. The muffled screams grow louder and more urgent. CLOSE on The Skull as we: CUT TO: INT. OFFICE CUBICLE - DAY SUPER: ONE WEEK EARLIER The Skull is replaced by the face of CONRAD, 30, handsome in an average looking kind of way. His eyes are glazed over. We hear the sporadic clack-clack-clack of a keyboard. VOICE (O.C.) Conrad? Conrad turns to see his boss, STEVE LEWIS. Mid-forties, badly died hair failing to hide male pattern baldness. A moron. CONRAD Oh, hey Mr. Lewis. STEVE Dude, Ive told you: Its Steve. Or just Lewis. None of this mister crap. CONRAD Yes, right. Sorry Steve. STEVE No apology necessary, for reals. So are you up to anything this weekend? CONRAD No. I mean, sort of. I was just going to do someSTEVE Oh man, last weekend I went out with Jerry and Phil, and that new guy Ben from accounts. Holy crap did we ever get wasted. Ended up meeting some broads actually. CONRAD Did you, wow. Broads. How did that go?

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STEVE They left not too long after. But then later on I met this other girl, who wasnt really as attractive, but just seemed ready to party? Took her back to my place. CONRAD OK, greatSTEVE And totally had sex with her. A beat. CONRAD Can I help you with something? STEVE Not really man, just wanted to say hey. CONRAD Great. Because I should probably finish up here before I leave for the weekend. STEVE Hows that Contenta account going? You keeping them happy? CONRAD Sure. I mean, right now they have me working on a fun, edgy way to let people know that taking their medication can lead to increased risk of bowel cancer. STEVE Well keep it up dude. Make sure you stick that one. CONRAD I will. Ill do that. STEVE Are you sure you dont want to come out with us this weekend? You know were going to be meeting more ladies.

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CONRAD Yeah, Im actually getting married in two weeks? I thought I had told you. So thats not really something I have much interest in. STEVE OK, suit yourself. But if you change your mind, remember: Broads. Beers. Buddies. The three Bs. Always an option. CONRAD Right, yes. The Bs. Thanks, Ill keep that in mind. STEVE Laters. Steve walks away, leaving Conrad staring ahead blankly. INT. TAILOR SHOP - DAY Conrad is standing next to his best friend, GARRETT. The same age, bearded and shaggy haired. They are wearing tuxedo tops and no pants. Two old men are measuring their legs. CONRAD Hes such a fucking idiot. GARRETT So youve told me. CONRAD Just an unbelievably stupid person. The fact that he makes more money than I do makes me want to stab myself in the eyeball. GARRETT With what? CONRAD I dont know. A pen, a ballpoint pen. GARRETT Gross. Hey, did you ever realize that when you say the word asking, it really sounds like ass king?

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CONRAD No, I hadnt realized that. GARRETT It occurred to me the other day and now I cant get it out of my head. Asking. Ass king. So weird. CONRAD Sure, I guess. GARRETT Sorry, I interrupted you. Ball point pen? CONRAD Yeah. Anyway, Im not going to do that. So whats to be done? GARRETT Weve had this conversation a thousand times. Do you really want to have it again? CONRAD Yes. GARRETT Well, you could quit that soulless corporate shithole and go do something that you enjoy. That would be a start. CONRAD Mm. GARRETT Maybe attempt to actually create something? Something real? You know, other than just spending your day getting people to be OK with the fact that the antidepressant theyre ingesting could eventually lead to anal tumors. CONRAD I like to think of that as an important public service. And anyway, arent you taking that stuff?

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GARRETT Of course. I have an undiagnosed sleeping disorder, and one of my clients recommended I try it. CONRAD You mean Todd, that guy whos always on your couch? GARRETT Yes. Listen, Im not arguing that its an inferior product. Im just saying that if you hate your job and dont do something about it, you lose your right to complain. CONRAD I know, but I cant just leave. They pay me just enough money to make it a stupid idea. GARRETT Just get a new job then. Start sending out resumes on Monday. CONRAD Yeah, but then I have to start over again somewhere, its a pain in the ass. I feel like I just finally learned everyones name at the office, and Ive been there five years. I cant go through that again. GARRETT OK, so youre completely fucked. Is that what you want to hear? CONRAD Thank you. GARRETT At least youre not alone. Come on man, look where we are right now. Theres an old guy borderline molesting me so I can have pants to wear at your wedding. He turns to JERRY, the old man measuring his leg. GARRETT (CONTD) Im kidding Jerry, youre doing a great job.

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JERRY I made a pair of pants for Sinatra once. GARRETT (to Conrad) See? Sinatra! CONRAD I know, I know. Youre right. I should be happy. GARRETT Come on. Whos my little smiling guy? CONRAD Really, you dont have to do thisGARRETT Who is he? Whos my little smiling guy? Conrad sighs. CONRAD Its me. Im your little smiling guy. He forces a smile and Garrett ruffles his hair. GARRETT There he is! CONRAD So have you decided who youre bringing yet? GARRETT Ive narrowed it down to a few possibilities. Why do you have to keep getting on my case about that? CONRAD Hey, Im just asking. Garrett chuckles. GARRETT Is that so? He picks up a magazine, rolls it up and puts it to his lips.

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GARRETT (CONTD) (Darth Vader voice) There can be only one Ass King in this friendship, young Conrad. Jerry shakes his head sadly. INT. CONRAD AND BETHS APARTMENT - DAY BETH is lying on the couch of the first floor apartment, vacantly flicking through channels on the television. Pretty, but distracted. CONRAD Hey honey! BETH Hi Connie. Conrad kisses her on the cheek. CONRAD Hi Edgar! He attempts to pat EDGAR, their persian cat, on the head. Edgar withdraws and glares at him disapprovingly. CONRAD (CONTD) Hm. OK then. (to Beth) So how was your day? Were you able to come back right away, or did you have to stay again? BETH I just came straight home. CONRAD So no tutoring today? BETH No, no tutoring. I dont think Ill be doing that anymore. Its just not working out. CONRAD Well thats good. It seems like that was taking up all your free time. And didnt even pay that well really. BETH Yeah. Exactly.

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Conrad walks to the fridge, pulls out a carton of milk. Takes a sip. CONRAD So let me tell you how my day was. BETH Sure. CONRAD First of all, my boss? Mr. Lewis? Steve? One of the dumbest people Ive ever met. BETH So youve mentioned. CONRAD The universe is such a vast expanse. So huge our minds can barely comprehend how massive it is. Truly, awe-inpiringly gigantic. Yet Im completely confident in saying that this guy is one of the worst people who ever existed, anywhere. BETH Right. CONRAD Hes worse than Hitler. I wish I could go back in time and murder his grandparents. Id have no remorse either, Id just rip out their throats like I was Steven Seagal. He takes another sip of milk. CONRAD (CONTD) The fact that he makes more money than meBETH Yes, makes you want to stab yourself in the eyeball. CONRAD Exactly! You see babe, you know me so well. Weve got that radar love. Like the song. You know-

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BETH Please dont start singing. CONRAD OK, sure. But you know what I mean. Were like two peas in aHe waits for her to complete the sentence. BETH What are you doing? CONRAD I... was just waiting for you. To finish the sentence. BETH You are a ridiculous person. He shrugs and looks down at Edgar, who is staring directly into his eyes while frantically tonguing his nether-regions. CONRAD It really creeps me out when he looks at me like that. INT. CONRAD AND BETHS APARTMENT - BEDROOM - NIGHT Conrad and Beth are asleep. Beth begins to stir slightly and quietly mumble. Conrad lazily opens his eyes. BETH Mmm. Not right now. CONRAD Um, honey? BETH I cant. Got to go. CONRAD Beth, youre just dreaming. BETH Not right now Benny. His eyes widen. BETH (CONTD) Mm. Maybe next time. He is completely still, listening for more. But she seems to be finished. He reaches over and puts a hand on her shoulder.

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CONRAD Beth, hey. Wake up. BETH (half-asleep) Hmm? Whats the matter? CONRAD You were dreaming. And you were saying stuff. BETH Oh, sorry babe. She rolls over. CONRAD Whos Benny? BETH Mm. I love you too. Shes snoring softly within seconds. Conrad stares at the ceiling, wide-awake. INT. GYMNASIUM - DAY Conrad is wearing the same face of distracted consternation, but sporting a headband. We hear sneakers squeaking, some shouting and a ball bouncing. VOICE (O.C.) Conrad! CONRAD Hm? A basketball SMASHES him in the face. He crumples to the gym floor in a heap. A few of the overweight, sweaty guys who make up his pick up basketball team make a tentative circle around him. Garrett is the last to arrive. GARRETT OK everybody, back up, give him some space. He looks down at Conrad, blinking in the gym light, blood trickling from his nose. GARRETT (CONTD) How are you feeling, big guy?

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CONRAD (slurred) I think my face is broken. GARRETT Dont lose your faith, were just down a few points! CONRAD No, my face. My face is broken. GARRETT Ohh... yeah, thats a problem. INT. GYMNASIUM - LOCKER ROOM - DAY Conrad is sitting on the bench in front of a row of lockers, leaning his head back and pressing an ice pack against his face. Garrett approaches and sits down next to him. GARRETT Hows the nose? CONRAD Its not great. GARRETT Bummer. If it makes you feel better, we won. Actually not having you out there opened up the floor a little bit and we were able toCONRAD Yeah, I know. Im awful. GARRETT Dude, thats not true. Its just that youre not very good. CONRAD Thanks for the pep talk. GARRETT Seriously, whats going on man? You were even more distracted and clumsy out there than usual. CONRAD Its Beth. GARRETT What about her?

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CONRAD Its probably nothing. Its just last night, she was sleeping, andGARRETT Oh dude, dont worry. Sleep sex is a natural and totally not-creepy phenomenon. Dont think of it as rape, just think of it as really great sex that she wasnt conscious for. CONRAD What are you talking about? GARRETT Huh? Nothing. What were you about to say? CONRAD She said Benny. GARRETT What does that mean? Is that some kind of euphemism? CONRAD No, she said Benny. Not right now, Benny were her exact words. GARRETT Huh. CONRAD Yeah. GARRETT Listen, its probably nothing. Im sure Benny is just one of her asshole students. CONRAD I know, I know. Thats what I thought. It just really weirded me out.

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GARRETT Just talk to her about it dude. Dont let this be one of those things where you dont ever mention it, then you get married and it slowly eats away at you over the decades until it literally burns a hole into your stomach lining, causing corrosive acids to flow into your body, killing you slowly and painfully. CONRAD Wow. That sounds awful. BOB, 40, approaches. Stops at the bench. Hes completely naked. BOB Good game, Garrett. GARRETT Thanks, Bob. BOB Conrad, are you ok? CONRAD Im fine, thanks. BOB Cool. Ill see you guys next week. GARRETT Sounds good buddy. Bob makes his way towards the showers. GARRETT (CONTD) Man, Bobs penis is impressive. CONRAD It really is. INT. CONRAD AND BETHS APARTMENT - LATER Conrad opens the door and put his gym bag down. Hes got toilet paper stuffed in each nostril. Once again Beth is splayed out on the couch, flicking through channels. Her eyes are puffy and red. CONRAD Hey honey.

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BETH Hi Connie. CONRAD How was your morning? He goes to the fridge and pours an orange juice. BETH Fine, how was basketball? CONRAD It was great. I played really well, and the guys were super impressed. I made several difficult shots. BETH Really? CONRAD No, not at all. I think my nose is broken. She sits up, worried. Sees his busted face. BETH Oh, Connie! She gets up to look at his nose, gets some peas out of the freezer and places them against his face. CONRAD Ah, thanks. BETH Poor guy. Conrad notices her eyes. CONRAD Honey were you... were you crying? She turns away. BETH No. Its nothing, dont worry about it. CONRAD Beth, whatever it is, you can talk to me about it.

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BETH Conrad, its nothing. Just stop asking me, please? CONRAD Hah. Ass king. BETH What? CONRAD Nevermind. Whos Benny? Beth inhales sharply, still turned away from Conrad, her eyes wide. BETH Who? CONRAD Benny. You were sleeping last night and you said his name? BETH Oh, I dont think so. CONRAD No, you definitely did. BETH Benny... Benny is one of my students. CONRAD Yeah, of course. Thats what I figured. He breathes a sigh of relief. CONRAD (CONTD) Oh, man. Thats a relief. I was worried for a while there, I thought maybe you were having an affair. BETH You did? CONRAD Yeah, can you imagine? Sorry honey, I shouldnt have jumped to conclusions, I dont know what I was thinking. Will you forgive me?

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He hugs her tightly, she looks mortified. BETH Yes. I forgive you. There is a knock at the door. Its oddly authoritative. CONRAD Are you expecting someone? BETH (weakly) Kind of. VOICE (O.C.) Ms. Richards? Open up please, its the police. CONRAD What theHe glances at Beth who looks defeated. He moves to the door and opens it. A female detective in plainclothes is holding a badge and a warrant. This is DETECTIVE JENNIFER MOORE, 30, beautiful but with a chip on her shoulder. Shes flanked by two uniformed officers. DET. MOORE Is this the apartment of Beth Richards? CONRAD Um, yes. DET. MOORE Beth Richards who teaches 10th grade at Robert Collins high? CONRAD Yes, is there something wrong officer? DET. MOORE Wed like to have a few words with her please. CONRAD Sure, I guess. Shes back here. Um, honey? He opens the door for the officers and gestures to where Beth was just standing but she is no longer there. A window nearby is open.

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WINDOW Beth is running down the sidewalk. Another officer intercepts her at full speed and TACKLES her onto the grass of their neighbors yard. CONRAD (CONTD) What the fuck? EXT. SIDEWALK - DAY The officer has a knee in Beths back, handcuffing her. She looks miserable. Conrad comes running up, with Det. Moore and other officers close behind. A news van has pulled up and a small-time looking reporter is taking in the situation with her cameraman capturing it all. CONRAD Can someone please explain what is happening right now? JENNIFER Were placing your girlfriend under arrest for sexual assault of a minor. CONRAD Um, excuse me? BETH Im sorry Connie. CONRAD What do you mean, youre sorry? This is some kind of mistake right? She hangs her head. The officer puts her in the back of the squad car and slams the door. CONRAD (CONTD) Maam, please. This has got to be some kind of mix up. JENNIFER Im afraid not sir. We take child molestation very seriously around here. CONRAD Child molestation? Jesus Christ.

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JENNIFER Shes going to be taken downtown and interrogated. Heres my card. If you get in touch with me Ill let you know when shes been processed. Maybe you can talk to her yourself. CONRAD ButJENNIFER Have a nice day. CONRAD IShe enters the passenger side and closes the door. The car pulls away. Conrad stands there, alone and stunned. The reporter sticks a microphone in his face. REPORTER Sir, you must be the significant other. Whats your reaction to this horrific development? Conrad, stunned, searches for an answer. He still has tissues sticking out of his nose. CONRAD Fuck. Perched in the window, Edgar looks pleasantly bemused. INT. POLICE STATION - WAITING ROOM - DAY Conrad is sitting in a chair with a small crowd of sadlooking strangers. Hes staring in disbelief at the small television in the corner of the room. TELEVISION Its Conrads interview. His one response is bleeped out before he stumbles away from the camera, back towards the apartment. REPORTER So there you have the significant other of Ms. Beth Richards, the accused child-predator who was just led away moments ago. (MORE)

20. REPORTER (CONT'D) He seemed to be injured, whether these injuries were inflicted by Ms. Richards is unclear at this time, though it seems the most likely scenario. Now, of course these are all just allegations right now, but this reporter would like to add that if guilty, Beth Richards truly is a horrible, disgusting, sub-human monster. And her alleged acts will haunt this community until the end of time. Bill?

The broadcast cuts to a conservative-looking male anchor. BILL Thanks Nancy. Boy, just a heartbreaking situation developing there. The spouses in child abuse situations are often the forgotten victims. That mans life has been irrevocably torn apart. Nothing will ever be the same for him again. Conrad throws up his arms. CONRAD Oh, come on! An ELDERLY WOMAN taps him on the leg. WOMAN Im so sorry, I cant imagine what thats like. My son is only in here for murder, thank God. Conrad puts his head in his hands. The door opens and Jennifer sticks her head in. JENNIFER Mr. Grey? You can come in. INT. POLICE STATION - DAY Rows of desks, with annoyed-looking police officers bustling about doing police officer things. Jennifer leads Conrad to a desk cluttered with paperwork and an open laptop. Her screensaver is Detective McNulty from The Wire. They sit down.

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CONRAD Is this the part where you explain that this was all some colossal fuck up and youre sorry for wasting everyones time? JENNIFER Im afraid not. We IDd her from some... illicit photos we discovered on the victims cell phone. CONRAD Illicit? JENNIFER They were quite provocative. CONRAD Oh my God. JENNIFER Im sorry Mr. Grey, I know this must be difficult for you. CONRAD Do you? Did your fiancee molest someone too? What a crazy coincidence! JENNIFER Mr. Grey, please. Im trying to help you out here, as you seem to be having a bit of a hard time at the moment. CONRAD Im sorry, Im sorry. And you can call me Conrad. JENNIFER Well Conrad, theyre just finishing interviewing your fiancee. Her parents lawyers got here an hour ago and they have been discussing terms for a plea bargain. CONRAD You mean shes going to plead guilty? JENNIFER Well, yes... she is guilty. We kind of established that already.

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CONRAD Ah, right. JENNIFER Theyve almost finished. If you want, I can get you in to speak with her for a few minutes. Conrad pauses. CONRAD Yes, Id like that. I need to find out what just happened to my life. JENNIFER Alright, just wait here for a few minutes please. CONRAD Thanks, officer... detective... Im sorry, what was your name? JENNIFER Jennifer. Detective Moore was my fathers name. CONRAD Really? JENNIFER No. My father was a real estate agent. Im not sure why I said that. CONRAD Oh. OK? JENNIFER Right, um... Ill be right back. She hustles away. Conrads face is still utter devastation, but he manages a hint of a smile. INT. POLICE STATION - INTERROGATION ROOM The door opens and Jennifer ushers in Conrad. Beth is sitting at the desk with two stern, important looking LAWYERS. Conrad sits down across from her. She looks at him hopefully, not unlike a puppy after being caught spreading garbage around. CONRAD Please tell me what is going on.

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BETH Connie, you dont look so good. CONRAD Im sorry. Call me a worry-wart but I have been slightly anxious and unable to get proper rest ever since I found out my fiancee was being accused of child molestation! BETH (to lawyers) Can you two leave us alone for a few minutes? They shuffle out of the room and close the door. BETH (CONTD) First of all, I think child molestation isnt really an accurate description of whats happened here. CONRAD Oh no? BETH No, he wasnt a child. Not even close. He was 15. CONRAD I think Im going to be sick. BETH Im sorry Conrad, I dont know what happened. It started out as just tutoring, then it developed. I know, it was dumb. But it felt so dangerous. CONRAD Sexual abuse often is! Wait, what do you mean developed? Did this happen more than once? I thought it was just a one time thing! BETH Lets not get bogged down in the details. CONRAD Bogged down?

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BETH Listen, I made a mistake Connie. Im sorry. CONRAD No, you didnt. A mistake is when you lock your keys in your car or leave the oven on. What you are referring to is whats known as a federal offence. BETH (on the verge of tears) OK, I get it Mr. Judgemental! CONRAD I just dont understand. What does this kid have that I dont? BETH I dont know. I mean, Benny wasnt you, that was the whole point. And he has this rough exterior, but as I got to know him I saw his softer side. So misunderstood. CONRAD But hes 15! BETH Look, I told you I made a mistake. Its over now. My dads lawyers are going to plea-bargain the charges down to wrongful sexual imprisonment of a minor. CONRAD Ah, were going all the way down to wrongful sexual imprisonment. What amazing progress. BETH Exactly. So once Im out of here in a few months, we can get married, and it will be like nothing ever happened. CONRAD Wait, you still think were getting married? Are you fucking crazy? She starts to tear up.

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BETH Youre not thinking of leaving me, are you? CONRAD Are you being serious right now? She starts crying. BETH Oh, Connie. How could you be so cruel? He stares at her incredulously, unable to speak. EXT. POLICE STATION - EVENING Conrad stumbles out into the night, his frustration and confusion explodes into a series of spastic movements and guttural sounds. Attempts to kick a newspaper stand, but screams and holds his foot tenderly, hopping up and down. A grungy SKATEBOARDER approaches him. SKATEBOARDER Hey, are you all right man? CONRAD Im fine. The skateboarder, red-eyed, squints at him. CONRAD (CONTD) Can I help you with something? SKATEBOARDER Arent you that guy? Who was on the news today? CONRAD What? No. Go away. SKATEBOARDER Im pretty sure you are dude. Im so, so sorry man. CONRAD What, does everyone around here watch the shitty local news coverage?

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SKATEBOARDER Naw bro, Youtube. That shit is all over the place. Here, Ill show you. He types something into his smartphone, and shows Conrad. PHONE The videos title is MAN HAS LIFE RUINED ON LIVE TELEVISION. Its the interview again. Beth gets put in the car, the reporter approaches Conrad, the camera zooms in on his face as he attempts to process the worst moment of his life, and the video slows down to slow motion while tragic strings swell in the background. CONRAD Jesus. How many views does this have? SKATEBOARDER Closing in on half a mill, just since this afternoon. Look on the bright side, youre famous dude! Yeah! He extends his hand for a good-natured fist bump. Conrad just stares at him. INT. CAR - NIGHT Conrad is parked at a red light, fuming. The song playing on the radio ends and some obnoxious DJs begin speaking. FABULOUS PHIL Hey hey folks, this is Fabulous Phil over at 97.9, ROCK FM, hope youre all having a lovely Saturday. Let me tell you one guy whos not having such a great night right now, have you seen this new viral video floating around the interwebs, Sergeant Steve? SERGEANT STEVE Oh is that the one where that guys whole life is destroyed and hes just kind of staring helplessly? FABULOUS PHIL You bet, his wife is this babe of a high school teacher who just got caught boning one of her st-

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He clicks off the radio angrily. Spots a supermarket and cuts across traffic to get into the parking lot. INT. SUPERMARKET - NIGHT He paces furiously through the aisle. Straight to the beer section. CHECKOUT COUNTER Hes waiting impatiently to pay for his six pack. Across the aisle he notices a couple whispering to one another and gesturing in his direction. Hes had enough. CONRAD OK everyone. Attention please. The other cashiers and customers stop what they are doing and look at him. CONRAD (CONTD) Yes, my fiancee was just arrested for molesting a teenager. Im glad you find this horrible, lifealtering tragedy so amusing and I hope youre all thoroughly entertained. Please, continue pointing at me and judging me like I am some kind of goddamn animal. You people make me sick. No one knows how to respond. CONRAD (CONTD) I am a human being! I am not an animal! The man half of the couple across the aisle meekly raises his hand. MAN Im so sorry. We were actually gesturing behind you, towards that table of complementary meatballs. WOMAN We were just wondering if we should try some. Conrad looks behind him, and yes, theres a table of meatball samples complete with a shocked-looking meatball woman.

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MEATBALL WOMAN Im sorry to hear about the molestation. CONRAD Me too, meatball lady. Me too. INT. GARRETTS APARTMENT - NIGHT Garrett sits on a reclining chair, watching television. A recently used bong sits on the coffee table next to a large bag of marijuana and a scale. TODD, overweight and disheveled, is sprawled out on the couch next to him. GARRETT Do you think the yeti is just a sasquatch that lives in the mountains? TODD The sasquatch is a woodland creature. It wouldnt survive at those climates. GARRETT You dont think theres any way they could be genetically linked? TODD We share ninety-eight percent of our DNA with chimps. It doesnt mean were the same species. GARRETT Hm. Thats a great point. Conrad bursts in. GARRETT (CONTD) Jesus, where have you been? Ive been calling you like crazy. He places the six pack on the table and sits down. CONRAD Where have I been? Ive been at the police station visiting with my lovely fiancee, being held on charges of wrongful sexual imprisonment of a minor.

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TODD At least its not child molestation. CONRAD Thank you Todd. TODD Hey did you know youre in this video thatCONRAD I know about the fucking video! GARRETT Lets all try to calm down. So have you found out anything about this kid? CONRAD I have. Guess what his name is. GARRETT Benny? CONRAD Precisely. Get your computer, youre going to help me find this little shit. GARRETT Um, are you sure thats a good idea dude? What are you going to do to him? CONRAD Im not going to do anything. This kid just destroyed my entire life and I want to know who he is. GARRETT Listen man, I dont think finding out who he is will help fix the situation. Its just going to make you feel worse. CONRAD Garrett, Im going to find this Benny with or without you. GARRETT OK, fine. But will you at least smoke some pot first? (MORE)

30. GARRETT (CONT'D) Im finding your negative energy is really disruptive to the positive vibes weve been trying to cultivate here.

A beat. CONRAD Yeah, OK. INT. GARRETTS APARTMENT - LATER Conrad and Garrett are huddled over a laptop, clicking through Facebook profiles. Garrett sits back, sighing. GARRETT I dont get it. Weve been over every Ben or Benjamin that goes to Robert Collins High. Unless were missing something, I havent seen anything that conclusively links any one of them to Beth. CONRAD Goddamnit. He has to be in here. We must have overlooked something. Lets start again. GARRETT Dude, come on. Lets just give this up. Well go grab a few beers or something. We can check again tomorrow, maybe it will be clearerCONRAD Wait a minute, whos this? BKilla. GARRETT I dont know, lets check him out. They click on B-Killas profile. In his photo, he is wearing a beanie and an oversized jacket, scowling and throwing up what appear to be gang signs. CONRAD Well this cant be him. Lets move on. GARRETT Yeah, not so fast.

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CONRAD What is it? GARRETT Look at this. Conrad looks closer at the wall posting Garrett indicated. COMPUTER SCREEN B-KILLA: got tutoring after class wit Ms. R ;) CONRAD OK, but this doesnt mean anything. She tutored a lot of kids. GARRETT Its the winky face, my friend. CONRAD What about it? GARRETT The winky face suggests that theres something else going on besides just studying. And hey, look at this one. He indicates another wall posting further down the page. B-KILLA: Cant wait 2 study more tonight <3 GARRETT (CONTD) I refuse to believe a kid who calls himself B-Killa and proudly wears a beanie that silly looking is so into studying he needs to emphasize his statement with a heart. Todd, what do you think? TODD (watching tv) He totally did Beth. Conrad takes a deep breath. GARRETT Dude, can we show a little sensitivity here? TODD Sorry.

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CONRAD OK. Lets find out everything we can about this guy. Garrett clicks around. GARRETT Benny B-Killa Gibbons. Lives in Charles Heights. CONRAD Isnt that the gated community north of the city? GARRETT The very same. Interests include rap/hip hop, straight thuggin, hoes/bitches, 420, making benjamins. Thats money, by the way. CONRAD Thanks. GARRETT And hello, look at that. Even a cell phone number, freely available to anyone. Kids these days. CONRAD+ So what do we know? GARRETT If I had to guess based on this little info, Id say were looking at an affluent, suburban hip-hop fan with a possible small-time potdealing operation. Fuckin little usurper. CONRAD This is who Im up against? GARRETT Well youre not really up against him. He kind of alreadyConrad glares at him. GARRETT (CONTD) Never mind. Youre right, I think this is our guy.

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CONRAD This fucking kid? This is who she decided to sacrifice her whole life for? GARRETT It certainly appears that way. CONRAD Come on. At least molest a child prodigy... you know, Doogie Howser or something. GARRETT Agreed. This kid is not Doogie. He looks like Eminems learning disabled cousin. CONRAD So what do we do now? GARRETT My recommendation is that we get as drunk as possible, as soon as possible. CONRAD Make it so. CUT TO: SERIES OF SHOTS INT. GARRETTS APARTMENT - NIGHT -- Conrad and Garrett are each drinking a beer, nodding their heads calmly to the music. -- There are several empty beer bottles on the table. Garrett pulls out a small box and takes some pills from it, they each take one, clinking bottles and drinking. -- They are much more animated in their appreciation of the music. The table is littered with empty bottles. They are now drinking scotch. That bottle also sits in front of them, half empty. -- The scotch bottle is empty. Conrad and Garrett are wearing jackets, heading out the door. Garrett clicks off the light. Todd is stretched out on the couch, sleeping.

34.

EXT. CITY STREET - NIGHT -- They stumble through a crowded street, bumping into pedestrians and laughing as they pass blurred neon lights. INT. BAR - NIGHT -- They are sitting at a small table, a pitcher of beer between them. They clink glasses again. -- Theyre sitting at the bar, laughing and doing shots with the bartender. EXT. CITY STREET - NIGHT -- They are stumbling through the street again, concentrating intently, struggling to remain upright. INT. GARRETTS APARTMENT - NIGHT -- Garrett is cutting up lines on the coffee table. -- They are hunched over the table INT. GARRETTS APARTMENT - MORNING -- They are having an animated discussion, possibly about the meaning of life/nature of existence. -- An impromptu wrestling match has broken out, they fall back towards the couch and land on the still-sleeping Todd. It tips over, spilling all three men to the floor. -- Todd and the couch are back in their rightful spot, and Conrad and Garrett are leaving the apartment again. Garrett clicks off the light. EXT. CITY STREET - DAY -- Theyre continuing their animated discussion in the street, attracting nervous glances from regular morning people. -- Garrett looks up and gestures toward a gate. Its the entrance to the city zoo.

35.

EXT. CITY ZOO - DAY -- They are walking around the cages holding bags of popcorn, pointing and grinning like lunatics. -- They peer into a monkey cage and a masturbating chimp smiles at them. They laugh hysterically. -- They gaze at a sad looking polar bear, Conrad is crying. Garrett puts his arm around him. -- Theyre desperately trying to open the door to the polar bear cage. They are tackled by security. -- Theyre escorted out of the zoo and thrown into the street. A father in the entrance shields the eyes of his two daughters. EXT. CITY STREET - DAY -- They dance terribly to a group of three Spanish looking buskers, two with acoustic guitars and the last one blowing into a pan flute. -- Conrad is playing the pan flute. The two guitar players smile and play along. The former pan flute player and Garrett laugh boisterously, their arms around each other. EXT. PATIO - NIGHT -- Conrad, Garrett, and the Spanish buskers are sitting around a table, clinking beer bottles, laughing and shouting. -- A scuffle has broken out, some jock-types are holding Conrad by the front of his jacket, Garrett shoves one of them and gets blind-sided by a punch. One of the buskers comes out of nowhere with a guitar shot to the head of the assailant. EXT. CITY STREET - NIGHT -- Conrad and Garrett are running away from the commotion on the patio, we can see police cars beginning to pull up. -- They arrive at a corner where Conrad is able to hail a cab. They bump fists and he gets in. INT. TAXI - NIGHT -- Conrads head is slumped against the window as the cab comes to a stop outside his apartment.

36.

INT. CONRAD AND BETHS APARTMENT - NIGHT -- The door opens and Conrad steps unsteadily inside. -- He stumbles awkwardly to the kitchen floor, halfheartedly attempts to get up but it seems comfy. His face presses against the floor. His eyes slowly close. END SERIES OF SHOTS INT. BEDROOM - MORNING Conrad is sprawled out in a luxurious bed. Beth is curled up next to him, he slowly yawns and opens his eyes. Sees her, looks relieved. CONRAD I had the strangest dream last night. BETH Oh, Connie, dont worry. It wasnt real. She takes his hand and kisses it. Starts licking it sensuously. He looks confused. A buzzing noise begins to grow louder. CONRAD Um, honey? She starts gnawing on his finger, making a purring sound. INT. CONRAD AND BETHS APARTMENT - KITCHEN - MORNING Conrads eyes open, his face pressed against the linoleum. Edgar is chewing on his finger and purring. His phone is buzzing. He peels his face off the floor and checks it. Its 8:15 am. CONRAD (weakly) Mother of God. INT. OFFICE CUBICLE - DAY Conrad stares at his computer monitor, eyes puffy and red, looking like death incarnate. We hear the clack-clack-clack of the keyboard, but more sporadic and labored.

37.

STEVE (O.C.) Yo, C-Rad. Conrad sighs. Turns around slowly. Hes not in the mood for this. Not today. Steve looks down on him solemnly. STEVE (CONTD) Hey buddy. I heard about what happened. Actually I saw this video of the cops leading your girlfriend away, but it was an autotune remixCONRAD Steve, its fine. I would really rather not talk about it. STEVE Just know that if you want to go meet some ladies, and maybe have sex with them, Im your man. I would love to help out with that. CONRAD Thats very generous but I dont think thats necessary, if you could just leave me alone nowSTEVE Even if you just want to talk. Just hang out, have a few brews, talk about life... anything you want. CONRAD OK, Ill keep that in mind. Thank you. STEVE We could put on some Eagles and just silently spend time in each others company. CONRAD Great. STEVE Seriously bro, dont be a stranger. Were going to make it through this. CONRAD I wont. He wanders off to bother someone else. Conrad bangs his head against his desk meekly.

38.

INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY Conrad is seated with his defeated-looking colleagues. Steve is speaking to them and gesturing to slides featuring flow charts and other typically indecipherable corporate gibberish. STEVE So what have we learned here? Synergized workflow effectively engaging teamwork. S.W.E.E.T. Conrad looks suicidal. STEVE (CONTD) We have to ask ourselves, with every email, every conference call, every meeting. When we scribble a crazy idea on a hotel napkin. Am I doing this the sweet way? When I get off the phone with my client, after pitching them a super badass idea, and they hang up the phone, I want them to be thinking one thing: that was sweet. He takes a moment to survey the blank faces of his audience. STEVE (CONTD) Funny story, corporate originally wanted to go with a much more boring acronym. I convinced them to change it. Thats why they pay me the big bucks, people. TIGHT on Conrads face. A bead of sweat snakes down from his forehead. STEVE (CONTD) (to Conrad) I know someone who knows all about the sweet method. My man Conrad here, am I right? He holds up his hand for a high five. CONRAD Get fucked, Steve. Steves face falls. His hand hangs in the air awkwardly. STEVE Whats going on buddy?

39.

CONRAD Im glad you asked. Ill tell you whats going on. I think you might be functionally handicapped. Steve pretends to laugh it off. STEVE OK everyone, Conrads just messing around, we have that kind of relationship. Good meeting, lets all get back toCONRAD Dont even think about it. Im just getting started. You are the worst. This whole place is the worst. What are we even doing here? His colleagues look at each other nervously, unsure of how to react. Conrad stands, gestures to BILL, a nervous young man in his early twenties. CONRAD (CONTD) Bill, what was your dream? Before you came here. What did you want to do when you were young, before it occurred to you that being an adult meant giving up the hope of ever doing something interesting? BILL I... I wanted to be a sailor. CONRAD A sailor, like in the Navy? BILL No, I wanted to compete in races. CONRAD (to everyone) Bill wanted to compete in competitive sailboat racing. Thats fantastic. He turns to MARILYN, a frumpy, overweight woman in her fifties. CONRAD (CONTD) How about you Marilyn?

40.

MARILYN I wanted to join a cult that our neighbor started after he claimed he could communicate with the souls of dead philosophers who were trapped on the moon. He swallows. CONRAD And that didnt work out for you? MARILYN My parents wouldnt let me. They wanted me to go to college. CONRAD Of course they did. MARILYN Turns out they were right, all the moon spirit philosophers ever told him to do was have sexual relations with the female cult members. CONRAD Its probably for the best that you didnt do that. LARRY, a middle-aged bald man raises his hand meekly. LARRY I wanted to be an astronaut. CONRAD An astronaut, yes! Thats wonderful Larry. Now were talking. I wanted to be a comic book writer. LARRY Why didnt you? CONRAD I dont know. It was too hard. I didnt know what to do. So I just gave up. And now Ive wasted five years of my life in this nightmarish, fluorescent-lighted, migraine-inducing, soul-destroying Hell hole. I say we should go back to following our dreams. Now whos coming with me?

41.

MARILYN Hey, its just like that movie. CONRAD (losing it) This is real life, Marilyn! Silence. Steve approaches him cautiously. STEVE OK buddy. I think you need to calm down a little bit. CONRAD You need to calm down! He looks to Larry desperately. CONRAD (CONTD) Come on Larry, what happened to your dream of being an astronaut? Its not too late. LARRY Actually, it really is too late. CONRAD Yeah, I mean... sure. It probably is too late for that. (to Bill) What about you Bill? You can be a competitive sailboat racer, I believe in you. BILL I dont know man. Its a pretty uncertain job market, and Im comfortable here. Id rather just continue working here and sail in my free time. CONRAD Thats pretty reasonable. Marilyn looks at him hopefully. CONRAD (CONTD) Marilyn, you probably cant join your perverted old neighbors moon spirit cult, but Im sure theres plenty of other interesting cults you could look into.

42.

She smiles. Steve has slowly made his way over to Conrad. He puts a hand on his shoulder. STEVE Easy now, big guy. Lets all try and cool out now. In one smooth motion Conrad smacks his hand away and puts him in a headlock. The room is silent except for the sound of Steve struggling to free himself. Everyone stares at them blankly. CONRAD This is our chance, fellow drones! Rise up! Our time is now! To victory! He vomits. Everyone recoils in disgust. INT. CONRAD AND BETHS APARTMENT - DAY Conrad and Garrett are taping up boxes, the apartment is mostly barren. GARRETT Did you puke on anyone? CONRAD No, not really. Mostly just the floor. I might have messed up some shoes, thats it though. GARRETT Fuck. CONRAD Yep, pretty much. GARRETT So what happened after? CONRAD What do you think? I gathered up the things from my desk and security escorted me out. Ive been indefinitely suspended without pay, guess they need some time to figure out what to do with me. GARRETT And when you came home?

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CONRAD A bunch of surly guys were here, moving out all the furniture and the rest of Beths stuff. GARRETT So now you areCONRAD Moving back into my moms basement. GARRETT Fuck. CONRAD You said it. Again. GARRETT I dont understand why you cant just stay here? CONRAD Setting aside the fact that I couldnt pay rent here by myself if I still had a job, which I dont, the place is in Beths name. GARRETT And shes currently in jail. CONRAD Correct, and thanks for reminding me. GARRETT No problem. Man, you dont have to do this. Just come stay with me. CONRAD Garrett, Im thirty years old. I cant do the guy on the couch thing now. Im an adult. GARRETT But you are perfectly comfortable with the moving back into moms basement thing? CONRAD Precisely. GARRETT Well here, youre going to need these.

44.

He drops two blue pills into Conrads hand. CONRAD Is thisGARRETT Contenta. If you have one of those moments where you cant sleep because its impossible to stop thinking of the utter ruin that is your life without wanting to gargle with rusty shards of glass, take one of these with a glass of wine. Youll be comatose and dreaming of unicorns in minutes. CONRAD Um, thanks. He puts the pills in his pocket. GARRETT What are friends for? Conrad duct tapes the final box aggressively. Looks over at Edgar, sitting a few feet away, eyeing them suspiciously. CONRAD (to Edgar) Looks like its moving time, pal. What do you say? Edgar hisses at him. GARRETT Dude, your cat is kind of an asshole. CONRAD Yeah. I know. EXT. SUBURBAN HOUSE - DAY Conrad and Garrett pull into the driveway in Conrads beat up car, the back seat filled with boxes, garbage bags and a cat carrier containing a visibly annoyed Edgar. Conrads mother ELLEN, mid-fifties, appears in the doorway looking genuinely thrilled. She opens the door and greets them as they leave the car. ELLEN Connie!

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She throws her arms around him, he grunts. CONRAD Mom, youre... youre hurting me. ELLEN Oh Im sorry honey. Im just so happy youre home, this is going to be great! CONRAD Yeah. Great. GARRETT Hi Ms. Grey. ELLEN Garrett, bless your heart for being here for him right now during this (whispers) troubling time. CONRAD I can still hear you. GARRETT Its no problem, really. Turns out Conrad doesnt actually have very many real possessions, so it was a pretty simple operation. ELLEN Well maybe this whole thing was a blessing in disguise then! CONRAD Mom, are you suggesting that losing my fiancee, job and apartment was actually a good thing, because it made the process of moving back into your basement more streamlined? ELLEN Thats the spirit! Come on, Ill start making some sandwiches. She goes back into the house, humming. GARRETT This is your last chance man. You dont have to do this. CONRAD Yes... I do. I do have to do this.

46.

GARRETT Why? CONRAD Because I have spent most of my twenties - years that were supposed to the best of my entire life making terrible decisions. This is a chance for me to start over, with a clean slate. A tabula rasa, if you will. He stares into the distance thoughtfully. CONRAD (CONTD) Who I was before doesnt matter anymore. GARRETT You sound like a character on Lost. Come on, lets get you moved in and then Im going to steal your moms innocence. CONRAD What was that? GARRETT Wine. Im going to steal her wine. Lets just go inside. INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT Conrad, Ellen and Garrett sit around the dinner table, some mostly-finished dinner plates and a few empty bottles of wine in front of them. ELLEN This was Conrads first day of school. He was so excited. Nervous too, but God... it was adorable. CONRAD Mom I think Garrett has heard this story multipleGarrett wordlessly silences him. GARRETT Sorry Ellen, please continue.

47.

ELLEN Now I wasnt there to witness this next part, but what happened was: Conrad was playing in one of these plastic playground thingsCONRAD It was a tube. ELLEN Yes, a plastic playground tube, and he peed his pants. But apparently they got some older kids to help him out, you know, track down some spare clothes, get him cleaned up. Im not sure whether it was malicious, or whether they just genuinely thought he was a girl(to Conrad) You do have my face, honey. CONRAD I do. GARRETT He does. ELLEN You do, but in any case they put him in a dress. Conrad puts his head in his hands. ELLEN (CONTD) So when I show up to pick the little man up, hes wearing this frilly dress - still looking mighty cute I would add - but definitely confused and uncomfortable also. Garrett smiles, hes heard the story countless times, but still savors it like an aged scotch. GARRETT Marvelous. CONRAD OK, now if you two dont mind, I think weve discussed my consistent record of embarrassing failures enough for one evening.

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ELLEN Oh, Connie. It doesnt have to be like that. CONRAD Yes it does, mom. My whole life feels like its been some kind of joke, and now this debacle is the punchline. ELLEN Conrad, why do we fall? CONRAD So... we can learn to pick ourselves up again? ELLEN No. Because we werent watching where we were going. CONRAD Oh. Thats not quite as inspiring. She leans forward, with the look of someone who is possibly being a little too honest. Garrett is enthralled. ELLEN Youve got all the tools to have a happy life, youve just made some bad choices. Youre young. Youve got time to turn this around. CONRAD Mom, IELLEN No more excuses, Connie. Youve got a fresh start at thirty, not a lot of people get that. What are you going to do with it? Conrad is taken aback, unable to answer. GARRETT Ms. Grey? She relaxes, her moment of seriousness has passed. ELLEN Yes dear?

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GARRETT Can you tell the story of the time Conrad burned his genitals in the chemistry lab in high school? ELLEN I can. INT. BASEMENT (CONRADS ROOM) - NIGHT The light clicks on and Conrad surveys the room. His boxes are strewn about, open and half-unpacked. On a shelf an elaborate action figure collection. Posters of Star Trek: The Next Generation and Terminator Two. He sighs, steps forward hesitantly and sits down at his desk, opening his laptop. CONRAD Where are you, Benny? A few clicks of the mouse later, he sits back, staring at the screen dispassionately. COMPUTER SCREEN Bennys smug grin beams back at him. Conrad turns to the Darth Vader bust next to the desk lamp. He can still hear his mothers advice ringing in his ears. He turns back to the screen. COMPUTER SCREEN Bennys profile has a Where Ive been section. Conrad clicks on it, bringing up a map with multiple points on it and a text side bar containing several entries: Benny checked in at Vista View Mall. Benny checked in at McHappys. Benny checked in at Bobs Krazy Karting, and so on. CONRAD (CONTD) Hrm? He looks somewhat surprised that he has access to this information. He glances at Darth Vader one more time. Back at the screen. COMPUTER SCREEN He clicks on the map again, bringing up a menu. Clicks save.

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INT. CONRADS ROOM - MINUTES LATER Conrad is hunched at his closet, a pile of old clothes and other junk next to him. Hes looking for something. CONRAD I know youre in here. Finally he pulls out a box, opens it and looks inside. Removes a layer of old sweatshirts and finds what he was searching for: a weathered old grinning skull mask. He picks it up slowly and considers it, expressionless. From his bed, Edgar looks on approvingly. Back at his desk, Conrad picks up a notepad and begins to scrawl something down. NOTEPAD The Skull to-do list. 1. Find Benny and destroy him. He underlines it emphatically. From the edge of his desk the skull mask grins up at the ceiling. He snatches it and stuffs it into a black BACKPACK. INT. GARAGE - NIGHT Conrad is rooting through some shelves, trying to be as quiet as possible. Finds a shovel. EXT. DRIVEWAY - NIGHT He opens the trunk to his car and puts the shovel inside, next to the black bag. He gets in, releases the emergency brake and the car rolls silently down the driveway, reaches the street, starts up, and drives away. CUT TO: INT. CAR - DAY Conrad is parked on the street a block away from the rear of John Collins High School, surveying the parking lot where groups of grungy-looking teens are congregating and smoking. Theres mud caked around the wheels of the car and hes slumped in the drivers seat, wearing sunglasses and nursing a coffee. His phone rings. He answers.

51.

CONRAD Hello? INT. GARRETTS APARTMENT - DAY Garrett is eating a bowl of cereal while he talks. Todd is once again leisurely stretched out on the couch. GARRETT Dude, where did you go? I woke up on the couch this morning and you were no where to be found. I had to get a lift home from your mom, dick. INTERCUT BETWEEN CONRAD AND GARRETT CONRAD Sorry, I... I had some stuff to do. GARRETT Its fine, you know Im always down for more quality time with your mom. Hey, why dont you come by later? Youre unemployed now, we should take advantage of that by playing video games all afternoon. Seriously, once you just embrace it, its not that bad. CONRAD Maybe later, Im kind of still in the middle of something. GARRETT More important than playing video games all afternoon? Thats not cool man. Down the street from Conrad, the bell sounds and students start flooding out the doors. CONRAD Listen, Ive gotta get going. Ill call you later. GARRETT Was that a bell? Where are you? Are you doing something creepy right nowCONRAD OK, good talk, take care.

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END INTERCUT He hangs up, glances around to see if anyone is watching, and looks into a small pair of binoculars. BINOCULARS He scans over groups of students, until he finds who he is looking for: Benny. Wearing the oversized jacket, beanie, and walking with an exaggerated limp. Doling out fist bumps to his friends. Conrad drops the binoculars and squints. CONRAD (CONTD) There you are you son of a bitch. He peers back through them. BINOCULARS Benny walks to a minivan and stops at the drivers side door. Types something on his phone. Conrads phone buzzes, he picks it up and looks at it. PHONE A new update pops up on Bennys profile: On my way to the mall. Text if u need anything ;) In the distance, Bennys minivan pulls out of the parking lot, heads down the street. Conrad starts his car and follows him. EXT. VISTA VIEW MALL (PARKING LOT) - DAY Conrad is parked in a space on the outer fringes of the parking lot. He takes out the binoculars and peers toward the entrance. BINOCULARS Benny struts towards the front doors, enters. Conrad glances across the street, notices a sign: SCHILLINGER SECURITY AND USED GOODS. He thinks for a moment and opens the door.

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INT. SCHILLINGER SECURITY AND USED GOODS - DAY Conrad is standing at the counter speaking to JACOB SCHILLINGER, sixty, balding and paunchy, but imposing. Old combat fatigues. Has the eyes of someone who has seen and done things you can only dream of. Hes showing several different tasers to Conrad. SCHILLINGER This last one is the real bad ass. Its not even legal in this country, I got it from a contact in the Cambodian military. They have less stringent safety regulations there. CONRAD I like what Im hearing. SCHILLINGER Oh yeah. You stick a guy with this its going to feel like hes getting buttfucked by Thor himself. CONRAD Jesus. SCHILLINGER Not likely. Hed want to talk things over and hug it out. Sounds great on paper, but thats just not a solution that makes sense in the world we live in. CONRAD Right, exactly. I feel the same way. SCHILLINGER Theres some bad people out there. Some real darkness. CONRAD Tell me about it. SCHILLINGER I will. Ive seen the darkness. I know its true face. He leans closer.

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SCHILLINGER (CONTD) When you look a man in the eye and know in your heart that to continue living you will have to take his life, you will understand the cruel nature of the universe. Beat. CONRAD OK great, Ill take that one. Thor. SCHILLINGER Sure thing my man. He begins to prepare the taser for sale. SCHILLINGER (CONTD) Mind if I ask what you need this for? CONRAD Oh you know, the usual. Protection. To protect me. From the bad people that you mentioned, and the darkness and whatnot. SCHILLINGER Alright, you dont have to tell me. I dont pass judgment, kid. Just dont do anything stupid. Especially anything thats going to lead back to me. CONRAD Dont worry about it. He hands him the brown bag with the taser in it. Conrad stuffs it into his backpack. SCHILLINGER Its cash only, chief. This isnt the type of item that you want leaving a paper trail. CONRAD Sure, no problem. I just cashed my rent cheque. He hands him the money. SCHILLINGER It was a pleasure doing business with you. (MORE)

55. SCHILLINGER (CONT'D) If you have other security needs please feel free to come back any time.

Conrads phone buzzes. He checks it. PHONE B-KILLA checked in at McHAPPYs at the VISTA VIEW MALL. He turns back to Schillinger. CONRAD Thanks, Ill do that. INT. VISTA VIEW MALL (FOOD COURT) From above we see Benny take a tray of fast food and sit down in a booth. Conrad is silently observing him from the second level, carrying the black bag and pretending to leaf through a magazine. After a moment a GRUNGY LOOKING TEEN sits down across from Benny. They exchange a few words and Benny nonchalantly slides the takeout bag across the table. The other teen reaches inside, takes something out and stuffs it in his pocket. Trying to act casual, he stands, shakes hands with Benny, passing him a bill, and walks away to rejoin his posse. CONRAD I saw that, B-Killa. INT. VISTA VIEW MALL - LATER Benny emerges from a VIDEO GAME STORE, holding a bag. Starts walking down the corridor towards the exit. Above him Conrad, still tailing him, pulls out a phone, older and cheaper than his other device. He takes out his notebook, opens it to The Skulls To Do list. Scrawled in the margins is a phone number. He begins to type it in. VOICE (O.C.) Mr. Grey? Um, Conrad? He turns around, surprised. Its Jennifer. Shes holding a few clothing store bags. He covertly stuffs the notebook and phone back into his bag.

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CONRAD Oh, Officer Moore. Er, Jennifer. What are you doing here? Were you following me? She looks at him, puzzled. Gestures to her bags. JENNIFER No, I was just buying clothes. Hence the bags. He laughs nervously. CONRAD Ha! Of course you are! Wow, that was super weird. JENNIFER A little bit. Should I leave you alone? Conrad glances toward the entrance one last time, sees Benny disappear through the doors. CONRAD No, of course not. Sorry, I think Im just a little on edge after everything thats happened over the last few days. JENNIFER Thats pretty understandable. Well, at least it cant get much worse for you, right? CONRAD Exactly. Only it really can. I just lost my apartment and my job, and Ive had to move back in with my mom. JENNIFER Oh. That is much worse. CONRAD It is. JENNIFER Would it make you feel any better if I bought you a cup of coffee?

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CONRAD Better is a bit of a stretch. But it may make me feel slightly less bad. Lets do it. JENNIFER Boo ya. He cocks an eyebrow at her. JENNIFER (CONTD) I dont know where that came from. INT. COFFEE SHOP - DAY Conrad is sitting at a table, Jennifer approaches carrying two drinks. Places his in front if him, a caramel-whipped cream-chocolate monstrosity. She just has a normal black coffee. JENNIFER Heres your drink. Do you have any idea how unhealthy this is? I feel fatter just looking at it. CONRAD I know. I actually dont even really like coffee. But its a great sugar and cream delivery system. JENNIFER Well, enjoy. CONRAD Did you just get a black coffee? Wow. Thats such a hard-boiled detective thing to order. JENNIFER Actually when you become a cop you have to sign a waiver stating that you will only drink coffee like this from that point on. I dont even like it, but they wont give you a gun until you sign. CONRAD You carry a gun? JENNIFER Yeah, of course.

58.

CONRAD Can I see it? JENNIFER Um, no. Were in a coffee shop. CONRAD Sure, right. That makes sense. Beat. CONRAD (CONTD) So... are you sure its ok that were talking? Isnt it illegal or something? JENNIFER No, not at all. Youre not a witness or anything. Maybe it might be a little frowned upon. CONRAD So what are we doing here? JENNIFER I dont know, you seem nice? And also, I kind ofCONRAD Feel sorry for me? JENNIFER Maybe just a little. CONRAD Listen, I appreciate it, but I dont need a charity date. JENNIFER No, thats not it, honestly. Well, I do feel sorry for you... but how could I not? What happened to you was pretty shitty. I would have to feel pretty insensitive not to have some sympathy for you. CONRAD Thats true. I guess I cant hold it against you. I feel pretty sorry for me too.

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JENNIFER Look, the reality is that Ive only been a Detective for 3 months, everyone I work with thinks Im a joke. I just moved here. I dont know anyone. I dont know how to meet new people anymore. CONRAD Ugh, dont remind me. Ive been trying to avoid thinking about having to rejoin the dating scene. JENNIFER Then you know what I mean. CONRAD Yeah, of course. JENNIFER So I met you under slightly... different circumstances. When I arrested your fiancee. CONRAD For child molestation. JENNIFER Exactly, but why should that mean we cant have a cup of coffee and talk about stuff for an afternoon? CONRAD Im happy I bumped into you. I do feel better. She smiles. CONRAD (CONTD) Hopefully I can make it through the rest of the afternoon without getting diabetes. Why did I order this thing? JENNIFER I have no idea, I could have just injected some lard directly into your heart, it would have been much quicker. CONRAD Oh yeah, do you know a guy who does that?

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JENNIFER Hey, Im a cop. Do you know how many back-alley lard dispensaries Ive busted in my day? They laugh. JENNIFER (CONTD) Im kidding, I havent actually done that. EXT. SIDEWALK - EVENING Theyre leisurely walking down the street, eating hot dogs. CONRAD So what made you want to become a cop? JENNIFER Lethal Weapon. CONRAD Seriously? JENNIFER Absolutely. I was an action movie junkie when I was a kid. I always thought that being a cop meant chasing guys through alleys, and getting in car chases, and hanging on to the bottoms of helicopters. CONRAD And its not like that? JENNIFER Not at all. Its a lot more just filling out paperwork and confiscating dimebags from teenagers. CONRAD So you wanted to be Riggs, but you ended up Murtaugh. JENNIFER Exactly. How about you, what made you want to be a... former copywriter.

61.

CONRAD I just didnt know what else to do really. Im a liberal arts major, and it turns out the private sector isnt exactly overflowing with highpaying poetry-analysis positions. I used to want to write comic books. JENNIFER Why didnt you do that? CONRAD I dont even know anymore. I got settled into a groove with my job and my personal life, and I convinced myself I was secure. I didnt want to mess with that. Trying to do something else just felt like a lot of work for potentially very little reward. I just kind of gave up. JENNIFER So... how did that work out for you? CONRAD If you dont know, theres a popular internet video I would be happy to show you. JENNIFER Yeah, that was kind of a rhetorical question. Hey, have you ever heard of the Phoenix? CONRAD Of course. Do you mean that, like the phoenix, I am going to symbolically rise from the ashes of my former life, stronger and more resilient than ever? JENNIFER Um, no. The Phoenix is a bar around the corner from here. Do you want to get a drink? CONRAD Oh. Sure.

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INT. THE PHOENIX - NIGHT Theyre at a table with half of a pitcher of beer between them. CONRAD So who was your favorite action star, besides Mel? JENNIFER Gotta go with Schwarzenegger. CONRAD Hard to argue with that one. And you know what? Arnie was a great actor. JENNIFER Oh I know. You would have thought he had real experience getting his eyeballs sucked out of his skull on the surface of Mars, because that shit was believable. CONRAD And a little bit traumatizing. JENNIFER Absolutely. That face haunted my childhood. Conrad starts performing a makeshift rendition of the scene in question, clutching his face, bulging his eyeballs, and making the patented Schwarzenegger grunting sound. CONRAD Argh! Ahh! Arrrrgh! Jennifer joins in. JENNIFER Arrrgh! Ah! A few people start looking at them, they look like theyre having a mutual seizure. They come to their senses. JENNIFER (CONTD) Wow. We look absolutely ridiculous. CONRAD Yes, yes we do.

63.

JENNIFER Got any requests? This place has a great jukebox. CONRAD I have absolutely no preference. As long as it is something by Hall and Oates. JENNIFER You are a man of exquisite taste. She wanders off towards the jukebox. Conrad sips his beer, notices a law school HOTSHOT and his SIDEKICK at the table next to him, staring and grinning. CONRAD Can I help you two? HOTSHOT Youre that guy. From the internet. CONRAD Yes, its me. I was the Star Wars kid. But if you dont mind, Ive tried to move past that so if you could just leave me the fuck alone that would be awesome. SIDEKICK Didnt your wife blow some high school kid? Dude, thats rough. HOTSHOT Be honest with us bro. Was it because you couldnt satisfy her? I saw her picture man, she was hot! What was the problem? SIDEKICK Its gotta be embarrassing when your girl leaves you for someone whose balls have yet to drop. CONRAD Listen guys, Ive had a pretty shitty last few days. Im sure making fun of me makes you feel better about whatever horrific event occurred in your childhood to make you act this way, but Im just not in the mood. The Hotshot leans forward, flashes a shit-eating grin.

64.

HOTSHOT Neither was your cradle-robbing fiancee. Conrads had enough, he quickly stands, Hotshot and Sidekick stand, it looks like violence is about to erupt. JENNIFER Is there a problem here? Her voice, playful a moment ago, now has the authoritative tone of a police officer. Hall and Oates - Kiss on my List fills in the awkward silence. HOTSHOT Youre here with this loser? Come on. JENNIFER Thats none of your concern. Now stop bothering this man. Please. SIDEKICK Or else what? JENNIFER Or else I will fucking arrest you. She pulls out her badge. The surprised hotshots look at each other and wordlessly decide its time to go. HOTSHOT Have a nice night, officer. They casually retreat towards the rear of the bar. Jennifer sits back down. JENNIFER Well that was exciting! CONRAD You didnt have to do that. JENNIFER Actually I kind of did. Those guys were just about to kick your ass. CONRAD So thats it, huh? Im just some weakling who you feel bad for? I told you I didnt want your pity. JENNIFER Conrad, I was just trying to help-

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CONRAD I need some fresh air. EXT. THE PHOENIX - NIGHT Conrad is leaning against the brick wall, staring out into the street. Jennifer emerges from the doorway and joins him. JENNIFER You missed the rest of my selections. CONRAD Im sure they were wonderful. JENNIFER You dont have to go through this alone you know. CONRAD It sure feels that way right now. JENNIFER It wasnt your fault. Theres nothing you could have done. Just look at it like a fresh start. CONRAD You sound like my mom. JENNIFER Your mom sounds like a pretty smart lady. CONRAD Listen, I had a great time with you tonight. But what are we doing? Im in... kind of a dark place right now. My whole life just blew up in my face. You dont need this. JENNIFER Why dont you let me make that decision? CONRAD Im sorry. I just want to be alone right now. Shes trying to play it cool, but that hurt.

66.

JENNIFER Fine. I get it. Hope you feel better. CONRAD Yeah, thanks. She turns and walks to the street. Conrad watches her go, looking like he wants to say something. She disappears into a waiting cab, which drives away. CONRAD (CONTD) Goddamnit. At the entrance of the bar a few yards away, Hotshot and Sidekick emerge. Conrad ducks into the alley so they wont see him. He peeks out. Sidekick is on his cell phone, his finger jammed in one ear. Hotshot is getting in a cab. Hes drunk and not properly controlling the volume of his voice. HOTSHOT 54 Charles Court, good sir. I just need to stop and pick up some cigarettes firstThe door closes and the cab begins to drive away. Conrad thinks for a second. Glances down. Hes still holding the black backpack. Looks down the street, towards the mall parking lot. Theres his car, right where he left it. He begins to jog towards it. EXT. CHARLES COURT - NIGHT The taxi pulls into the apartment complex parking lot, slows to a stop. A moment later the Hotshot gets out, starts stumbling towards his building. Approaching the entrance, he slows down. Squints. Theres a figure standing in the shadows next to the building. HOTSHOT Hello? The figure takes a step forward out of the inky darkness, into the yellow light of the street lamp. Its The Skull. Hotshot takes a step back. HOTSHOT (CONTD) Whoa. What the fuck? Is it halloween or something? The Skull remains silent.

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HOTSHOT (CONTD) Who are you? THE SKULL Im your worst fucking nightmare. He attempts to speak with the demonic, ice-cold whisper of the Nazgul, but probably lands closer to Christian Bale as Batman. Hotshot doesnt know how to react. HOTSHOT Come on. Chris, is that you? THE SKULL Yes, its me. Chris. HOTSHOT Jesus man, you scared the shit out of me. Whered you get that mask? THE SKULL Come over here and Ill show you. The hotshot walks towards him, drunkenly sure of himself. HOTSHOT Bro, take that thing off, you look like the bad guy in a superhero movie. THE SKULL Exactly. Hotshot reaches out and The Skull produces the taser, it lights up and he JAMS it into his side before he can react. HOTSHOT Arrgh! He hunches over, collapsing, and in one motion the Skull puts a hand over his mouth and pulls him into the alley. CUT TO: INT. KITCHEN - MORNING Conrad is at the kitchen table at his mothers house, absentmindedly eating some cereal while a small television drones on in the background. Hes half-smiling, lost in the memory of last night. Ellen enters the room, starts making some tea.

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ELLEN Someone was out late last night. CONRAD Yeah, I guess. I was with someone actually. ELLEN Oh, do I know him? CONRAD A lady someone. ELLEN Look at you go! When do I get to meet her? CONRAD Probably never, seeing as I hopelessly screwed it up. ELLEN Oh nonsense. Youre such a good boy. How could someone not see that? CONRAD UmHe looks up from his cereal to the corner of the room, a where a news broadcast has been playing on the television. Its the same anchor from his interview a few days ago. TELEVISION BILL -and in other local news, an early morning assault took a turn for the terrifying for one unlucky law student. Watch what happened in this exclusive raw footage. The station cuts to a clip of shaky cell phone camera footage. Its the interior of an apartment, the person holding the camera is walking towards a window. WOMANS VOICE (O.C) What is it? CAMERA WOMAN Theres some guy outside. You should call the police!

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WOMANS VOICE (O.C) What do you mean some guy? CAMERA WOMAN Hes tied up or something. Just call the cops, this is freaky! She reaches the window and aims the camera toward the courtyard, which we recognize as Charles Court. Theres a man, stripped to his underwear, taped to the lamppost. The camera zooms in. Its the Hotshot, struggling meekly. Theres something written on his chest. She zooms in closer. It says Im an asshole. Cut back to Bill. BILL After the man was freed, he described his attacker as physically imposing, dressed all in black and wearing a mask. We were able to obtain the police sketch artists illustration. The police sketch of The Skull fills the screen. BILL (CONTD) Pretty spooky. Remember folks, if you see someone fitting this description in your neighborhood, we urge you not to engage him yourself. He could be extremely dangerous. Well have more details on this story as it develops. Ellen turns off the television. ELLEN Can you believe this? Whats the world coming to? CONRAD Yeah. There are some real sickos out there. EXT. PUBLIC PARK - DAY Theres a pick-up basketball game going on, and on the bleachers next to the court sits Benny. He passes something back and forth with a HIGH SCHOOL HIPPY sitting next to him. The Hippy gets up and walks off, replaced seconds later with another TEEN THUG.

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Watching all of this is Conrad, sitting in his car in the nearby parking lot, peering through his binoculars as covertly as possible. He looks away for a moment to eat a pistachio. Lifts the binoculars again. BINOCULARS B-Killa is staring directly at him, squinting. He stands up to get a better look, starts walking toward the parking lot. Conrad drops the binoculars and starts the car frantically. BENNYS POV Conrads beat up car, somewhat ominous looking from this perspective, starts up and takes off down a side street. CLOSE ON THE CAR Conrad is visible only as a shadowy figure in the front seat for a split second. INT. GREASY SPOON DINER - DAY Conrad and Garrett are talking, mostly-eaten plates of bacon and eggs sitting in front of them. GARRETT So let me get this straight. You went out on a date with the lonely, hot police detective that arrested your sociopathic fiancee, and you managed to offend her and make her go home alone? CONRAD Pretty much. GARRETT Dude, I dont know about you sometimes. I really dont. CONRAD I just have a lot on my mind right now. GARRETT Of course you have a lot on your mind. Everyone does. Just the other day, I was thinking that it would be really cool if we could train dolphins to rescue the victims of underwater submarine crashes.

71.

CONRAD ...What? GARRETT My point is that this is how you take those things off your mind. Its the ultimate rebound scenario. CONRAD I guess. GARRETT Fuck your guessing! At least just imagine how much this would screw with Beth. CONRAD Im listening. GARRETT Come on, she gets out of jail, and not only are you dating someone already, but its the lady cop that collared her in the first place? Its perfect! CONRAD This girl is nice though, she doesnt deserve to get used as a prop in some revenge scheme. GARRETT Well if shes nice, then theres no reason not to pursue her for totally legitimate reasons. And still reap the benefits of the revenge aspect as an added bonus. CONRAD Thats not a bad point. GARRETT And your girlfriend would carry a gun. Just think about that for a second. CLOSE ON CONRAD The implications of that statement wash over him. CONRAD Thats true. She would.

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GARRETT Well, I mean... thats probably not the reason that should convince you. Thats actually a little weird. CONRAD No, of course not. Dont be silly. I just mean, youre right. It would be stupid of me not to pursue this. GARRETT Im glad youre finally starting to listen to the voice of reason. CONRAD Youre the voice of reason? GARRETT Absolutely. CONRAD Remember that time you dropped acid at a Van Halen concert and had to be carried out by security, screaming about Sammie Hagar being an interdimensional lizard creature? GARRETT That imposter is not of this Earth! EXT. POLICE STATION - AFTERNOON Jennifer exits the building, absorbed in something on her phone. Conrad pulls up just as shes walking away. He hustles to get out and catch up to her. CONRAD Jennifer, wait up! She turns around and regards him skeptically. JENNIFER Oh. Hello. CONRAD I know, Im a dick. JENNIFER You kind of are.

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CONRAD Im sorry. This whole situation has been difficult. I had no right to take that out on you. She relaxes a little. JENNIFER No, its fine. I cant really imagine what youre going through right now. I dont know what I was expecting to happen. CONRAD You were probably expecting me not to act like an asshole after you were the only person who was nice to me during the worst week of my life. JENNIFER I guess that is kind of reasonable. CONRAD Let me make it up to you. Come have dinner at my moms house. JENNIFER Do you often invite girls you dont know over to meet your mom? CONRAD No, I just have a good feeling about you. JENNIFER Well youve proven to be an excellent judge of character so far. CONRAD Starting to regret inviting you. JENNIFER Sure, Ill come. I just have to take care of something first. CONRAD Oh are you tracking down some kind of Satanic serial killer or something, who only communicates with you via taunting, coded messages?

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JENNIFER No, I have to go pick up the dry cleaning for the middle aged men I work with. I hate them so much. Ill be there at 8. INT. CONRADS HOUSE - EVENING The door opens and Conrad greets Jennifer. CONRAD Hi! Come on in. JENNIFER Sure. ELLEN (O.C.) Conrad? I found a big box of your old GI Joes in the garage, I thought you could put them with your other toys, andShe walks into the room and notices Jennifer. ELLEN (CONTD) Ah... hello! You must be Jennifer, Im so happy youre here. She hugs her, not letting go for several seconds. JENNIFER Hi Maam. ELLEN Ellen, please! JENNIFER OK, hi Ellen. ELLEN Conrad tells me youre a police officer. JENNIFER Detective, actually. ELLEN Oh my. How exciting! JENNIFER It really isnt.

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ELLEN Nonsense, have you heard about this Skull character thats been roaming aroundCONRAD Mom please, lets not get into that right now. ELLEN Alright, fine, fine. Come on Jennifer. Dinner will be ready in a few minutes, so I have some time to show you some pictures of Conrad when he was a baby. CONRAD Mom, you dont have toELLEN Wait until you see his tiny little penis, its adorable! Jennifer laughs, and Ellen begins to lead her away. Conrad covers his face in humiliation. INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT The door opens and Conrad is about to enter. In the background we hear Ellen telling the story of the time he peed his pants in the playground tube, again. Conrad sighs, closes the door and locks it. Sits on the toilet and pulls out his disposable phone. PHONE Conrad types: Benny its Beth. I need to see you. He clicks send. Seconds later, the phone buzzes. PHONE Benny: When and where? I miss u. Im sorry about what happened. My parents found your pictures. Conrad shudders. Looks back at the phone. PHONE He types: I miss you too. The parking lot at 567 Paper Street outside of town at midnight. Come alone. A beat, and the phone buzzes again.

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PHONE Benny: See u soon. He stands up and shoves the phone in his pocket. Opens the door. ELLEN (O.C.) Make sure you spray the air freshener if you just pooped, honey. CONRAD Jesus Christ mom! INT. KITCHEN - LATER Ellen has gone to bed and the kitchen is empty, except for Conrad. He pours two glasses of wine, then takes something from his pocket. Its the little blue Contenta pill. JENNIFER (O.C.) Are you coming? The movie is starting. CONRAD Ill be right there! He crushes the pill with a knife handle and mixes the powder into one of the glasses. INT. CONRADS ROOM (BASEMENT) - NIGHT Conrad enters the room, carrying the wine. Jennifer is on his bed, sitting against the headboard, the opening frames of Lethal Weapon playing on Conrads 90s era television. Edgar is lying next to her, purring. He hands her the glass of wine and sits down in the chair next to her. JENNIFER Thank you sir. Your cat is really friendly. CONRAD I dont think anyone has ever described him that way before. She takes a healthy gulp of the wine, Conrad intently studying her reaction. JENNIFER Is everything alright?

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He tries to relax, takes a sip of wine. CONRAD Of course. Everythings fine. To be honest I think Im just a little surprised, the last time I was living in this room, I couldnt even have imagined a scenario where a woman would be hanging out on my bed. JENNIFER Oh, Im sure you were one of those quiet kids in high school who thought he was a nerd but was secretly cooler than everyone else. CONRAD I doubt that. JENNIFER Seriously! Ill bet all the girls that you thought would never give you the time of day secretly wanted to do things to you. CONRAD You tell me. He takes a framed photo from the wall, 15-year-old Conrad is wearing a goofy oversized hypercolor shirt and his enormous grin showcases ugly metal braces on his teeth. JENNIFER Ok well... maybe not. But the awkward, mousy girls definitely wanted a piece of that action. They laugh. She takes another sip of wine. JENNIFER (CONTD) Your Mom is great. Thanks for bringing me to meet her. CONRAD It was fun, except for the constant humiliation. JENNIFER Wheres your dad? CONRAD He left when I was a kid, it was always kind of me and her. (MORE)

78. CONRAD (CONT'D) I think thats why she kept my room like this, like she was secretly hoping that Id come back someday.

JENNIFER Well youre lucky to have her. She yawns. JENNIFER (CONTD) My mom is a wedding planner. She wanted me to take over her business. CONRAD So she wasnt happy when you told her you wanted to get shot at for a living? JENNIFER Not exactly. She yawns again. JENNIFER (CONTD) Mm... getting a little sleepy. CONRAD Im glad you decided to be a cop. Because if you hadnt then I never would have met you. JENNIFER Ditto. Turns out its less exciting than wedding planning anyway. CONRAD I mean it. I need to thank you for being there for me. It means a lot. She yawns again, she can barely keep her eyes open. JENNIFER You dont have to thank me. Its sad, what she did to you... you shouldnt let it change who you are... youre a good person, Conrad. Her eyes close. Conrad watches her drift off to sleep. CONRAD No. Im not.

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INT. CONRADS ROOM (BASEMENT) - MINUTES LATER Jennifer is fast asleep, and Conrad is dressed in black, stuffing the skull mask into his backpack. He turns to her purse, on the floor next to the bed. Picks it up and opens it. Peers inside and finds what he was looking for: her gun. Takes it out and studies it for a moment before putting it in his bag. Standing at the entrance to his room, he looks down on Jennifer one last time, snoring softly. He turns and quietly pulls the door shut. INT. CAR - NIGHT Conrad is driving down a a silent, dark road through the outskirts of town. Appropriately dark music playing softly on the stereo. CLOSE on Conrads face. Utter determination. EXT. WAREHOUSE - NIGHT Conrads car pulls into the empty parking lot of a boarded up warehouse. He pulls to a stop near a blinking, yellow street light. INT. CAR - MIDNIGHT Conrad is staring ahead intently. Reaches over to the passenger seat and takes the bag, places it in his lap. In the distance, on the solitary road leading to the parking lot, a vehicle appears: Bennys minivan. Conrad reaches into the bag. Pulls out the skull mask. Takes a deep breath. He puts on the mask and pulls his hood up, just as Benny reaches the parking lot. He reaches into the bag and pulls out the taser. The minivan comes to a stop a few spaces away. Benny steps out, takes a few hesitant steps towards the car. Tries to see who is behind the wheel but its pitch black except for the light from the headlights and the flickering street lamp. BENNY Ms. Richards? The Skull opens the door.

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EXT. EMPTY PARKING LOT - MIDNIGHT The Skull gets out of the car, stands staring at Benny silently. Benny takes a step back, trying not to show fear. BENNY What the fuck is this? THE SKULL Youve been a bad boy, B-Killa. Its time for detention. BENNY Listen man, I dont know who you are but dont make me hurt you. Benny pulls out a knife. Hes scared, but trying to hold his ground. THE SKULL Youll have to if you want to make it through the night, Benny. He starts walking methodically towards his prey. When hes only a few feet away, Benny slashes out at him with the knife. The Skull steps back to avoid the blade and does, just barely. He lunges forward and jabs, the taser crackling. Benny twists out of the way and counters, slashing The Skull across the upper arm. He recoils, grabbing the wound and groaning. Benny stays on the attack with a left-handed clip across the jaw which sends him sprawling. He tries to get up but cant seem to get to his feet. Benny approaches slowly, getting a bit cocky now. BENNY Who the fuck are you? He reaches out and takes hold of the mask. The Skull grabs a fistful of gravel and throws it in his eyes. He covers his face and screams, and The Skull jams the taser into his ribs. His body goes rigid and he collapses. The Skulls sits there for a moment, breathing heavily. He stands up and goes to the trunk of his car, favoring his arm. Opens the trunk. Reaches in and takes out a roll of duct tape. Starts walking toward Bennys lifeless body.

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INT. CAR - NIGHT The Skull drives silently, blood dripping onto the wheel, thumping and muffled shouting coming from the trunk. EXT. CLEARING - NIGHT The car pulls up next to the shallow grave. INT. CAR - NIGHT The Skull pulls out the gun. Opens the door. INT. CAR (TRUNK) - NIGHT The trunk opens and The Skull, illuminated red in the mist like the angel of death himself, aims the gun towards us. EXT. CLEARING - NIGHT The Skull pulls Benny out of the trunk, deposits him next to the shallow grave. He lies there, groaning miserably, his mouth taped shut. The Skull points the gun at him. THE SKULL Get on your knees. Benny complies, sobbing now. The Skull, still pointing the gun, reaches out with his other hand and removes the tape covering his mouth. BENNY (crying) Oh man. Dont kill me. Please dont kill me. Ive got money. My parents do. Theyll pay you. THE SKULL I dont want your money, Benny. BENNY What do you want? THE SKULL I want you to beg. He presses the gun against his head, Benny groans.

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BENNY Oh God, please. Listen, Im sorry, OK? For everything. Im sorry Ive been selling pot. My mom found some in my drawer last year and cried, she made me promise not to do it anymore. But I did anyway, I just wanted people to think I was cool. THE SKULL Go on. BENNY Im sorry Im rude at school. Im sorry I called Darren Barker a fag. Im sorry I screwed Ms. Richards so many times. Im sorry ITHE SKULL OK, enough! Thats sufficient. BENNY Wait, you... you texted me. You said you were her. Is that what this is about? THE SKULL I got your attention the only way I knew how, Benny. And here we are. BENNY Then how did you know? THE SKULL I know everything about you. And Ive determined that you are worthless, a waste of space. An evolutionary blight. And you must be destroyed. Benny whimpers. BENNY Come on man, dont do this. Please. THE SKULL Did you think you could just do whatever you want? That there wouldnt be consequences to your actions? BENNY I dont know, my parents... I never see them. All they do is work.

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THE SKULL Spare me the sob story. We all get to make choices. Youve wasted the precious gift of free will and decided to spend your life acting like an overgrown parasitic worm in a silly hat. BENNY Im sorry, please... Ill change. Just dont kill me. He steps back and points the gun at his chest. THE SKULL Im afraid you havent left me much choice. BENNY Please dont! Oh, man... I just pissed myself. The Skull clicks back the hammer. THE SKULL Goodbye, Benny. He pulls the trigger. The chamber clicks empty, but Benny still shrieks and tumbles backwards into the shallow grave. THE SKULL (CONTD) Bang. He silently observes him for a moment, crying and sputtering in the dirt. EXT. EMPTY PARKING LOT - NIGHT The Skulls car pulls into the lot, making its way towards the minivan. The car stops and The Skull steps out and opens the trunk. Pulls out Benny, filthy, taped up again and moaning miserably. Deposits him next to the van. He crouches and again removes the tape from Bennys mouth. THE SKULL Now, Benny... If you ever tell anyone about this, or about me, Im going to come back for you. And next time Im not going to be so generous.

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BENNY (shell-shocked) I wont... I wont tell anyone. THE SKULL Theres a good boy. Youd better keep a low profile from now on. If I hear about you so much as selling a dimebag in a parking lot somewhere across the country, Ill find you. He dangles Bennys key ring in front of him, then throws the keys into the night. We hear them hit the pavement somewhere in the lot. The Skull walks back to his car. Opens the door. BENNY Wait... who are you? He turns back. THE SKULL Im The Skull. Youd better pray you dont see me again. He gets in, starts the car and drives away, leaving Benny sniffling and searching for his keys in the darkness. INT. CAR - DAWN Conrad removes the mask, the first light of morning illuminating the empty city streets. He smiles. He begins to chuckle. The chuckle evolves into pure, full-throated laughter. INT. CONRADS ROOM (BASEMENT) - MORNING The sun streams through the windows and Jennifer is lying exactly where Conrad left her. She starts to stir. Her eyes flutter, then open. She sits up, disoriented. Remembers where she is. She reaches next to the bed to pick up her purse. Opens it. Inside, her gun is exactly as she left it. She reaches past it and takes out her phone, to check the time. JENNIFER Oh, crap. She turns her head, and lying next to her is Conrad. Dressed in the same clothes from last night. She puts her hand on his shoulder.

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JENNIFER (CONTD) Conrad? He stirs to life as well, sits up. CONRAD Oh. Good morning. JENNIFER I think we fell asleep during Lethal Weapon. CONRAD We must have. Wow, Im kind of ashamed. Lethal Weapon deserves better. JENNIFER Im such a lightweight. Normally I can handle a few glasses of wine, whatever your mom buys just knocked me right out. CONRAD Yeah. Um, me too. JENNIFER I feel very refreshed though. I dont think Ive slept that well in ages. CONRAD Thats good, Im glad. Do you want to go get some breakfast or something? JENNIFER I cant, I have to get to work, Im super late. And Im wearing the same clothes I was yesterday. If I show up at the station like this those lecherous perverts I work with will never let me hear the end of it. CONRAD You wouldnt want to provide ammunition to the lecherous perverts. JENNIFER Exactly. Want to walk me to the door?

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CONRAD Sure. INT. CONRADS HOUSE - DOORWAY - MORNING They reach the door, Conrad opens it for her. JENNIFER I had a great time last night. Im glad you asked me to come. CONRAD Me too. JENNIFER Tell your mom I said goodbye. CONRAD I will. JENNIFER And thanks for not doing something creepy while I was asleep. CONRAD Hey, what kind of a psycho do you think I am? JENNIFER Will you call me? CONRAD Absolutely, of course I will. She leans in and kisses him. JENNIFER Bye. CONRAD Take care. She turns and walks towards her car. Looks back and waves one last time, gets in, and drives away. He turns around and Ellen is there, in her bathrobe, grinning at him excitedly. CONRAD (CONTD) Ah! Jesus mom, how long have you been standing there?

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ELLEN Long enough. So she stayed over, huh? CONRAD We just slept mom. In our clothes. ELLEN I could have sworn I heard you drive off somewhere last night. CONRAD Nope. ELLEN Im so happy for you Connie. Youre bouncing back. Just like I knew you would. CONRAD Thanks mom. I feel good. Actually I cant remember when Ive ever felt better. ELLEN Thats great dear. Ill make you some coffee. She kisses him on the cheek. He sits down and opens his laptop on the kitchen table. Types something in. COMPUTER Were sorry, but user B-Killa Gibbons has deleted his/her account. He smiles and closes the computer. Edgar, purring, jumps into his lap and he scratches behind his ears methodically. EXT. DRIVEWAY - MORNING The door to Conrads car is open and hes half in the drivers seat, spraying cleaning solution on the steering wheel and dashboard and wiping it up with paper towel. A car pulls up and parks on the street in front of the house. Garrett steps out and approaches. GARRETT Hola amigo. Conrad stuffs the bloody paper towel hes holding into the trash bag at his feet, stands up.

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CONRAD Muchacho. They bump fists. GARRETT Hey now, someone is in a good mood. Have a big night? CONRAD You could say that. Jennifer slept here. GARRETT The cop? Dude thats terrific, you actually followed my advice! CONRAD Hey, we just slept. It wasnt that big of a deal. GARRETT Are you kidding me? You just survived the worst possible breakup a human being could possibly hope to be involved in, and youre dealing with it like a goddamn champion. CONRAD Yeah. I guess I am. What are you doing over here so early? GARRETT Hey asshole, just because I dont have a real job doesnt mean I cant get up at a reasonable hour and come see my friend. CONRAD Thats great, but whats the real reason? I had and I early where GARRETT a girl stay over last night, told her I had to go to work in the morning, and I had no to go. CONRAD Well done. GARRETT You know it.

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CONRAD I could use a beer, do you want one? GARRETT Are you sure all you did was sleep last night? Because right now your coolness level is off the charts. Frankly, its a little intimidating. CONRAD What can I say? Its the new me. He tosses the trash bag towards the street, it lands directly in the waiting garbage can. They begin walking towards the house. GARRETT Youre basically Swayze-level cool right now. CONRAD Roadhouse Swayze or Point Break Swayze? GARRETT Roadhouse. CONRAD Nice. EXT. CONRADS HOUSE - DOORWAY Garrett is sitting on the front step, Conrad emerges from the house and hands him a beer. They clink bottles and drink. Ellen sticks her head out the door. ELLEN Oh, hi Garrett! GARRETT Conrad, can you please tell the beautiful, exotic runway model you have staying over to stop driving me insane with temptation? Conrad rolls his eyes. ELLEN Will you stop it? Conrad, tell him to stop!

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She walks back inside, giggling. GARRETT We should go get something to eat. CONRAD Thats a great idea, Im starving. And I could use some coffee. GARRETT I just have to make a quick stop to see those bloodsucking leeches at the bank first. CONRAD Why, whats going on? GARRETT I wrote a cheque, and was seven dollars short in my account. So that bounced, plus they charged me another eighty bucks on top of that. CONRAD Ouch. GARRETT Youre telling me. Like they dont have the seven dollars to cover for me. Theyre a fucking bank. CONRAD Absolutely. GARRETT Anyway its a giant mess. I have to go yell at someone. Im telling you man, those guys are straight up criminals. We should just drop the pretense of being nice people and rob that place. Conrad thinks about this for a moment. Looks to the window, where Edgar is perched, staring at him intently. Almost smiling. He turns back to Garrett, looking very much like a man who has just made up his mind about something. CUT TO BLACK.