TEENAGE FANTASIES
A handful of teenagers believe that when a strange kind of desire for a particular
boy or girl springs up, it is love. some more knowledgeable ones accept the fact that
it is infatuation.
When teenagers especially males start feeling attracted towards a particular
opposite sex they tend to be cold towards the latter all in the bid to get rid of the
feeling. Although this is not so for some others, they immediately act in the
direction of their attraction which may bring about dangerous consequences if not
managed well.
Here is the story of a fourteen year old girl. She met john in junior secondary
school and immediately liked him but she kept it to herself. John also had similar
feelings for her so he decided to keep her at a distance because he did not want to
have anything to do with her.
She often wondered why John hated her so much. She summoned up courage,
approached him and asked him why? After some time John opened up to her that he
was ‘’in love with her’’ with her like he thought.
They both started to date. She sneaked out of her house to meet John at
planned places. she even lied about extramural classes just to be with John. John
also felt that he was in love because of those things he had heard about butterflies
in the stomach, heart skips and so on.
She and John tasted the unripe fruit and she became pregnant by then they
were in the senior secondary school. they were caught trying to abort the
pregnancy. she had to stop schooling at age sixteen. John was allowed to finish his
secondary education before he was forced to marry her after two sorrowful years
they went their separate ways abandoning the child with John’s mother. They both
fell prey to what is referred to as teenage fantasy.
Teenage fantasy is an exciting or unusual feeling teenagers get when they
imagine certain acts of love, strong emotional desires happening to them.
FACTORS CAUSING TEENAGE FANTASY
1. TEENAGERS WHO FEED THEIR EYES ON PORNOGRAPHIC PICTURES
I was in a taxi one day, sitting next to me was a teenager not more than
seventeen years old. He was holding a magazine. I was bored so I asked him
to let me have a look and opening the cover page staring at me was a female
breast and buttocks bare flipped through the pages half heartedly and you
can’t imagine the images I saw.I handed it back to him still baffled then he
told me that the magazine was very scarce and expensive was shocked.
When you begin to imagine the amount of money teenagers spend on
pornographic picture and films these days you begin to wonder where exactly
did things go wrong?
2. EARLY EXPOSURE TO SEXUAL ACTS ON THE PART OF THE TEENAGER
3. Some teenagers have been exposed to sexual acts at a very tender age. The
blue films they watch, some even witness life experiences. I remember a
couple who lived in one room with their children at night when having sex
their children wake up watching them. Such acts leads to wrong early
exposure on the teenager. They want to practice what they see and hear.
3. WHEN PARENTS FAIL TO GIVE SEX EDUCATION TO THE CHILD
Parents often avoid this aspect so very much. Parents especially illiterates
believe that sex education is meant only for adults and that teenagers are
still too young to learn about it. But I tell you even little children require it for
proper psychological growth.
4. LACK OF PARENTAL DISCIPLINE/GUIDANCE
Teenagers need close unsuspecting watch. This is the age where they want
to explore, to do things they have never done before.
WHY DO PARENTS NEGLECT THEIR CHILDREN IN THE AREA OF DISCIPLINE
I. Their business: Money conscious parents and parents with large
empires are often occupied with the task of keeping their head up in
their businesses at the neglect of their children.
II. Parents who have just a child a just one kind of a sex i. e only boy,
often pamper their child. They believe discipline is punishment.
4. PEER GROUP INFLUENCE
Whenever you talk about teenagers, they are not complete without their
peers. Research has proven that almost 60% of what a child does is
influenced by their peers.
HOW TO KNOW WHEN HE ORSHE HAS FANTASIES ABOUT YOU
➢ Avoids you
➢ Feels shy when you are around
➢ Can’t say your name without feeling shy
➢ Talks about you when you are not there
➢ Always wants to find out about you
➢ Always staring at you
WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU ARE IN A FANTASY
✔ ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE IN ONE DO not deceive yourself by
denying it
✔ Try to pray about it
✔ Discuss with a counselor or mentor
✔ Become friends with the object of your fancy and try to know he
or she better in the process issues, values and behaviors you do
not agree with will come up, you will realize that he/she is not an
angel like you think and before you know it you start seeing he
or she has normal. But this should be managed well.
Orija oluwaponmile
brownymails@yahoo.com
,07031091996
